#bc people wont move out of the fucking way for me to get into the disabled spot

[thedisablednaturalist]

Everyone wants to help the wheelchair user until we actually do need help. Then we are an inconvenience.

[2024skin]

Mom called me a shitty roommate today bc after months of her telling me to rent a uhaul (too young to do so) and then flaking out on me whenever I asked her if we could it on x day, I gave up on trying to get my bf's heavy TV and dresser and ordered a mountable tv, instead of buying more storage totes so that I could add to the ever increasing stack of totes in our guest bedroom

[stupidnaturals]

.

[southislandwren]

ARRRGGGHHHHHHHHH the freshman wants to TRADE CARS for the weekend.... how do i politely say i would literally kill myself and everyone in a 10 mile radius if i had to let someone other than my mom, dad, and brother drive my car

[blueslight]

Man

[ribbonzregretz]

posting so much rn bc im losing my grip on reality but i stay sillyyyyy

[screamingay]

god that was an awful shift i hate how corporate let us hire more people and then as soon as we put them on the schedule they decided having one more minimum wage server per day (for first shift only!!!) was too much for The Budget. i had to bargain to get someone else to come in today and help me out and it was STILL hell.. rant incoming in the tags

[sturnsdarling]

'Stay the fuck away from her'

{based on this ask I left in @sturnioz inbox} fratboy!chris leaves shy!reader alone at a party for the first time and it goes south, quickly.

vibe check: fighting, violence etc, pressure to do drugs, fratboy!chris being a guard dog, fratboy!matt being a lil bruiser (i love him) a TINY bit of fluff bc I cant help myself and I'm a sucker for an asshole (fb!chris) with a soft spot (s!reader)

1.6k words

A/N: based on cas' fratboy!chris au. FUCK I love this. I had this idea after cas' lil blurb about jealous!fbchris and she told me to write it so mother gets what mother wants. another day another slay y'all lets fucking go. PART TWO HERE

love and cigs, merc

The frat house was nearly vibrating with the movement of hundreds of people, all moving, dancing, fucking and taking drugs in every millimetre of the house.

Chris and Matt were off doing their rounds with the freshers, Chris handing out his new stuff to all the sorority girls that pushed themselves against him before palming them off to Matt, who was just as uninterested in them but of course, made the moves to make the sale.

Tonight was a big night, it being the first party back after Christmas break so, the boys actually left you by yourself for the first time ever to make their rounds. Of course, Chris had instructed Nate to watch over you, but he was so faded that he could barely look after himself.

You were sat on a smelly couch in a back room, pressed in between two rival frat brothers to Chris' frat, both of them fawning over you as you sat there uncomfortably, shifting in your skin at the sensation of them peppering encouraging touches over you.

"come on, baby, one lil pill wont hurt you" one said, holding a small white pill in front of your face, your eyes nearly crossing as you stared at it.

"yeah, it'll be fun, and don't worry, we'll look after you" the other said, menacingly smirking at his frat brother

you shook your head, "I'm alright, I don't do drugs like that" you said, trying to crane your head back from them.

"theres a first time for everything, baby" one of the boys said, pressing his thumb into your chin, attempting to open your mouth as his friend moved the pill closer to your lips.

Nate was sat on the other side of the room, two girls draped over his lap as he sucked on one of their necks, palming the other ones ass.

"oh fuck" he said as he looked over to you, pressed between two frat boys as they waved a pill in front of your face.

He pushed the girls off him and they whined in a huff. He lifted his lips and pulled his phone from his pocket, opening it and calling Chris.

"Chris, dude, theres some guys here n'there all over your girl, touchin' her n'shit, one of them has a pill and kid is basically forcing it in her mouth" he said down the phone.

Chris didn't reply, only hung up the phone with a tsk sound and summoned Matt to follow him.

Within seconds, Chris was in the room, searching around the sea of bodies for you. He met Nates eyes first, who was once again sandwiched between two blondes. Nate pointed over to the other side of the room to you. The sight made Chris' blood boil, a villainous smile etched across his face, shaking his head and pressing his tongue to the side of his mouth as the thought of what he was gonna do to that kid raced through his mind. You were desperately trying to free yourself from the trap the boys had laid for you, squirming as they touched you and edged a pill closer and closer to your lips.

Chris stormed over, taking a long drag of his joint before tossing it to the floor. Just as quick as he arrived at the sofa, his hands were wrapped around one of the boys shirts, pulling him off the sofa and throwing him on the floor. Everyone gasped, moving out the way and gawking at the sight of Chris coming to stand over him.

"dude what th-" the guys questioning was cut off by Chris coming down on him and clocking him round the jaw with a swift punch.

"Chris!" You shouted, jumping off the sofa and grabbing his shoulders.

He shoved you off him and turned back to the kid underneath him, swinging down once more and cracking his jaw off his knuckles.

"y'think you're hard 'cuz you pressure girls into taking your shit pills? huh, kid? y'think you're a fuckin' gangsta?" Chris screamed as he laid into him.

The guy was borderline unconscious as you screamed Chris' name over and over again. Matt came up behind you, grabbing you by the shoulders, "go stand with Nate" Matt said, pushing you in Nates direction.

You nearly fell forward as you stumbled over to Nate, unable to tear your eyes of Chris as he continued to hit the boy beneath him, never letting up despite the boys pleads.

"yo, get the fuck off him" His frat brother shouted, coming to grab Chris by the shoulders. His movements quickly cut off by Matt, pulling him backwards and shoving him back to the sofa.

"watch ya hands, tough guy" Matt chuckled, grabbing the guy by the scruff of his shirt and nutting him, cracking his nose off his forehead. The guy recoiled, blood pouring from his nose instantly as his hands flew to his face.

Matt pushed him back as he stumbled, meeting him on the floor with a brutal clock across his jaw.

Chris got up off the guy and pulled him up with him, holding his bloodied and swollen face inches from his, "think you're a fuckin' big dog, yeah?" He turned and threw the nearly limp guy on the sofa.

The boy shook his head frantically, holding his hands up as Chris stood over him. "no, no, I don't, I don't, I didn't know she was your girl dude, m'sorry" He stuttered.

"well, now you do, so stay the fuck away from her, yeah?" he spat, moving as if he was going to hit him again.

The boy flinched and whimpered, running away, leaving his frat brother to fend for himself as Matt continued to pummel into him. He was relentless, near enough laughing as the boy lost consciousness underneath him.

"you wanna force girls into doing shit? you wanna be a tough guy n'drug girls jus' so they'll fuck you?" Matt said, pulling the guy up off the ground by his shirt, "hows it feel bein' a fuckin' loser, huh? tell me kid, hows it feel?"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" the guy cried and Matt just laughed in his face.

Chris panted as he watched the guy he near enough battered run away. He turned round to Matt, placing a hand on his shoulder and tapping him.

"s'enough, Matt, y'gonna kill him" he said, pulling Matt off the bloodied and battered boy on the floor.

Chris eyes immediately searched for you, finding you tucked into Nate, scared shitless of what you had just witnessed. He walked over to you, everyone in the room still staring at him as he did.

When he reached you, he grabbed you by the back of the neck and pulled you round to face him, taking your face into his bloodied hands.

"did they give you anything? huh? did they do anything t'you?" His eyes searched your face for any signs of drugs or bruises.

"no" you shook your head, brows furrowed as tears welled in your eyes.

Chris sighed and pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug. It was weird, Chris never hugged you like this, but as if on instinct you sunk into him, wrapping your hands around his waist.

"m'so sorry I left you alone, y'not leaving my side ever again, okay?" he muttered into your hair.

You nodded into his chest, whimpering slightly at the sensation of Chris breaking the hug.

"and you-" Chris spat, pushing Nate by the shoulders, "y'were s'possed to look after, her not let sketty fuckin' sorority girls distract you, fuckin' idiot" Chris said, insulting the girls as if they weren't right there.

"chill man, it all turned out peachy" Nate chuckled, stepping backwards with his hands up in surrender.

"get the fuck out my face, dude, can't even look at you" Chris spat, turning back to face you, taking your face in his hand once more.

"y'sure you're okay, kid?" he asked, soft eyes baring into yours.

you nodded, leaning into his gentle touch, the smell of iron lingering on his hand as it caressed your face.

"you didn't need to go that hard, Chris, you could have gotten hurt" you said, bringing a soft hand up to wrap around his wrist.

Chris chuckled, soothing a thumb over your face and raising his brows. "does it look like that kid could'a hurt me?" he asked, a prideful grin spread across his face.

You returned his smile and shook your head, gripping his wrist tighter.

"besides, you're important t'me, or whatever, so, I wasn't gonna let that fuckin' loser be all over you like that"

"I'm important to you?" you cheesed

"yeah, whatever, kid, try not to pull a muscle from cheesin' so hard" he rolled his eyes with a smirk.

"thankyou, for protecting me, Chris" you said, tugging at his wrist slightly.

"always" he said simply, before pulling you into a soft and quick kiss, his mouth slotting perfectly over yours, the taste of weed and shit beer lingering on his breath.

You chased the taste, whimpering slightly as he pulled away and dropped his hand from your face. You were smiling from ear to ear as he shifted his weight between his feet.

"wipe that smile off ya face, kid, s'not happenin' again" Chris said, referring to the kiss as he wiped a wet spot off your lip with his thumb.

taglist: @sturniozalt@mattslolita@shaquilles-0atmeal@blahbel668@sleepysturniolo@le4hsblog @sarosfilms @joemamaaa42069 @2muchofaslvt @seluky10

[theonlythingimfuckingisstupid]

soooo exhausted :(

[wintersoldeer]

everyone else gets: ...bells?

i get: my dashboard not working at all anymore (just an empty white page)

[caruliaa]

why is everything abt the tickets situation making me feel so shit. im not even an american

[jeffthekillerzblog]

a major plot point or like the entire thing about my au is just the creeps moving on and having their own character arcs throughout the years and finally heal from their past trauma

(rest is me rambling about my au...u don't have to read if u don't wanna its pretty long)

Jeff's arc is big on him finding his brother and coming to terms with what really happened. jeff is so incredibly stubborn and a big (very) egotistical. he finds it hard to open up and after what happened he feels that there's no point opening up anyway bc he's literally a famous asshole serial killer who's messed up SO many people's lives. another big thing about his arc is just owning up to his actions and apologizing to the people he's hurt. for example, nina. he led her on, treated her terribly for no reason, and was overall just an asshole. after they get into an argument he'll eventually apologize bc like he didn't HATE nina, he's was and prob still is in a terrible mindset and copes in such unhealthy ways. IDK OK I'm rambling but my point is he does eventually apologize to nina not because he needs her or like wants to use her again. he apologizes because he genuinely misses her and BOOM they become besties again after jeff properly apologizes and ya. BUT basically jeff's arc is him finally finding liu after all these years and yeah he apologizes to all the people he hurt (or the IMPORTANT ones) like nina, liu, and EVENTUALLY... jane. but that's WAY into the future (besides nina) he's way too full of himself to apologize now.

Nina's arc is her getting over JEFF. her love for Jeff began when she met him. she already admired him, but he turned into a full on crush. he did lead her on, and it hurt her a lot. shed spent tons of nights alone when jeff was supposed to be sleeping next to her, and she just felt so lonely, especially since jeff was so neglectful. She talks to clockwork about it and they help her realize her self worth and comforts her (she's terrible at it). Nina starts hanging out with Nat and toby more often, and it makes her feel SO much better about herself. Eventually she does get fed up of jeffs bs and they get into an argument and nina decides to leave. she kicks him out of her apartment and she doesn't let him come back. (she does....when he apologizes.....) She eventually learns to love herself and realize she doesn't need a stinky man's validation. Theres also a bit of her coming to terms with her own trauma, but I haven't fully fleshed that part out yet.

BEN's arc is probably my favorite. he's lost all his memories of his past life, and now after he accidentally found out he's NOT just a computer AI program, he decides to take it on himself to find out who his family was, how his life was, and how he died. I wont say as much bc I want to keep it a surprise, but in summary it fucks him up LMAO

ok that's it. OBVIOUSLY the rest of the creeps are healing as well BUT I have not fleshed out their stories yet...oops. so its just three for now. Except MUCH more stuff about the trio bc I love them with my all.. if u have any questions feel free to ask :3

[soobnny]

classmate au | park sunghoon

❝ what do you have for lunch today? ❞

heeseung | jay | jake | SUNGHOON | sunoo | jungwon | ni-ki

alexa play 0x1=lovesong

in your head, he’s the love interest with 0 interest in you🥲😢😢😢😢

it’s bc he’s so DAMN famous in your school

yes he’s your classmate .. ltrly in the same room but u cannot make conversation with him

he sleeps in class when he can like he will be DOZED OFF !!!!

nobody rly approaches the pretty boy

you’ve heard he’s rejected a handful of people before

you wont make a move for sure

so why does Park Sunghoon drag his seat so he’s sitting adjacent of you

why is he pulling out his lunch box and putting it on ur little table

WHY IS HE EATING WITH YOU

you don’t say anything when he does it

and he doesn’t say anything either

honestlyyyy…. it’s a little awkward like wtf is happening rn this is a Simulation

BUT you’re eating lunch together

and guess what

it becomes a constant thing too 😭

like he’d just silently drag his seat and you know he’s on his way to your table to eat lunch

is it because you’re one of the few people who eat in the room instead of the canteen??

tbh WHO CARES

unattainable campus crush park sunghoon is in front of you and eating lunch with you for some reason

it makes ur heart go crazy becos !!???!!!

he doesn’t rly acknowledge anyone

it’s bc he’s always busy being exempted for some competition

he finally starts talking to you when he sees you watching a yuzuru hanyu video during one of your little lunch sessions

tbh it was just a small video on tiktok that u scrolled by and returned to bc wow that spin was so cool

it’s when he starts making convo that u find out he’s actually SO funny and so unhinged

he’ll start laughing to himself 😕😕

also will tell the most UNFUNNY dad jokes

you only laugh because his laugh is so loud and so unrestrained

tho you do tell him his jokes are horrible

and he makes everyday a mission to tell you a joke that’ll genuinely make you laugh

it becomes your thing

he’ll just randomly show up in front of u and start cracking the most terrible joke

“rip boiling water. you will be mist!”

cue his laughter

you: 😐😐😐 not funny didn’t laugh

then sunghoon becomes more of a friend… not some unattainable crush figure !!! a friend !!!

some of his favorite things to do with you are watching videos during lunch AND sharing earphones while you listen to music

your fyp on tiktok now is both of ur shared interests

you even have a folder on each of ur phones for tiktoks u wanna share to each other that u pass by when u aren’t together

no he doesn’t send u the link like a normal person

sunghoon waits until class to show u so he can see ur reaction face to face

and the whole listening to music ??? u’ll just be seated side by side and staring into the distance sometimes

spacing out is wonderful <3

so now instead of sleeping .. he’ll just offer u an earbud so you can put it in your ear and listen to him

has a secret playlist for u (u don’t know this)

the photo for the playlist is the only photo u have together btw

it was when u were checking ur face on ur front cam and he just suddenly appeared in the back with a peace sign

it’s adorable

he bugged u to airdrop the photo 9284 times that day bc u refused to at first

it’s so 180 the way you suddenly become friends with him !!!!!

another thing he does is laugh at how you enjoy playing candy crush, calling you a grandma as if he doesn’t act like an old man

and then he gets so invested when you let him try

will cheat to get more lives and fuck up your time settings on your phone

btw he always talks about you A LOT 😭

his friends will know everything about you before you even meet them

“so, what level are you in candy crush?”, jake would ask the first time you meet

“excuse me, what??”

“sunghoon talks about you aaaall the time, it’s getting a little silly. like i know your go-to order at a cafe.”

“yeah like isn’t ur favorite color ___”

u look at sunghoon like ?????? and he just has a guilty smile on his face

but he doesn’t deny anything

you’d be shocked to suddenly see him as your seatmate one day like he rly switched with the person sitting next to you

laughing at your test paper scores together is also a fun little activity the two of u do

and then crying as you cram study in one of ur homes or on call when it gets too late

“hey can u help me with this chemistry question”

“ok give me a minute”

would open up those white board apps and screenshare his phone to start helping u with a part he understands but u don’t

he was 828283 screenshots of ur calls together

btw you CANNOT go to the library

you know that if you go to a library together … yall are NOT studying 😭

also u enjoy just shooting each other questions back and forth before the test

u would also probably come up with ways on how to cheat im sorry like u guys will have this whole grand scheme only to chicken out of it when u actually take the test

anyways

one day, you ask him why he had suddenly started eating lunch with you

bc like !!!! u’re happy he did but why so suddenly yknow

you’re grateful tho bc now u have someone to text like 25/8 and call whenever u’re bored

BUT U WANNA KNOW WHY. what started it

“i don’t know... i’ve always wanted to talk to you. you’re always so funny in class”

“and you didn’t say anything because??”

“i was gonna say something then i totally chickened out and then it was too late to say anything…. thank god for yuzuru hanyu.”

asks u to be his gf while teaching u figure skating for the first time

bc u finally ask him like dude why r u ALWAYS absent from classes

he’s like oh no biggie i’m ltrly just an athlete that competes in national events 😹😹😹

WTF !!!!!!!!

u knew he was competing in something but he never mentioned Figure Skating before

he is a fraud of a Friend

“sunghoon what does our friendship actually mean to u … WHERE IS THE LOVE”

but then he’ll go .. “want me to teach you?”

he’s forgiven now

“teach me figure skating??”

“yes” and he’s SOOOOO excited about it

he helps you find which skates to wear like he makes sure u have right size so ur feet don’t hurt

doesnt let u borrow those polar bears to hold onto

he can be ur polar bear

tho, when u do get tired .. he finally rents one and lets u sit on it while he pushes u around

it’s so much fun

except for when you fall

tho … it’s important for me to tell you that when you fall on your butt, he has heart eyes

and he holds your hands the entire time

he asks u to be his gf when you skate ur way across the rink without his help

sunghoon got so happy he just blurted it out

“be mine”

BYEEEEEE ofc u say yes

tho u think he’s joking at first

he does repeat it when you eat ramen after .. he’ll be like r u actually fr ??? did u actually say yes to me ??? u wanna deal with my jokes forever ??

oh dear

you should invite yuzuru hanyu to your wedding honestly 😭 thank u to ur fyp

note. credits to user @.luvknow for the layout of this post! last of the series, let me know what you think!

[jeanboyjean]

you're the worst - ft jean kirstein. mdni!!

summary: you and jean are rivaling lawyers on the partner track and it’s your firm’s xmas party. what better way to prove you’re better than him than to fuck him?

content: (nsfw) f! reader, rivals to lovers, coworkers, fucking at your work christmas function … in a storage closet!! f! oral receiving. p in v. unprotected sex oops. big dick jean, light choking

a/n: inspired by (actual irl) boyfriend's beef with his coworker. she recently got a promotion over him and he wont shut up about it so i was like wait … i gotta write this down this is a great idea HOLD AWN. their xmas function is next week and theres always drama!! enemies to lovers is THE TROPE for meee so i may expand on this later on and make a long fic but for now this is it. ty to @gallliard + @cowgirlikets for beta reading bc im goofy!! tag: @poopwons

2.7k words

String lights twinkle from the ceiling as people mill around you. Music is thumping from the large speakers near the DJ stand as you make your way to the bar to get another drink. Your law firm’s annual christmas party is in full swing right now and it's around halfway through the night - about the point where everyone’s finished their dinners and washing them down with drinks. The cocktail tables you had initially stood around at the start of the night, schmoozing with partners, have been cleared to form a crowded dance floor. You carefully thread your way between your coworkers while they let their hair down after yet another busy year.

When you finally reach the bar, you flag down the bartender and order another drink. In the holiday spirit, the firm had requested custom themed drinks and he sets down a very festive vodka cranberry in front of you. You're taking a sip, turning away to lean your back against the counter when a figure next to you catches your eye.

You sigh. It’s your coworker, Jean Kirstein - a.k.a the bane of your existence.

The two of you had joined the firm at the same time as new grads and had moved up the ranks together. Now, he’s your biggest competition, the one thing standing in the way of you becoming junior partner. He’s good, you’ll give him that. You both are. The two of you are the firms biggest rising stars, pulling clients and racking up billables like it’s nothing.

Unfortunately, he’s also a bit of a dick. At first, you couldn’t tell if his cocky persona had been an act, but after working alongside him these years, you’ve just come to accept that he is naturally a loud, smug asshole. The breaking point had been when you had stayed up late one night in your third year, working on a proposal, only for Jean to rock in the next day with his own that overwrote everything you had done. You’ve never really forgiven him for stealing your thunder and have used every opportunity you can to shine over him. Since then, he’s been nothing more than your rival and enemy. This was even more so lately, what with the announcement coming up next week to reveal who would be getting a promotion.

Jean turns his head to follow the bartender and meets your eyes. You quickly turn away and sip your drink.

“Hey,” you hear him say. He’s moved across to stand next to you, leaning his side on the counter.

Inwardly, you tense a little, always on guard when he interacts with you. “Hi Kirstein,” you say stiffly. “What’s up?”

“Just thinking how good it’s going to feel when they call out my name for junior partner,” he grins smugly.

You roll your eyes at him. “Yeah, in your dreams.”

“Not my dreams if it’s a fact,” he sings and you bristle at his words. There’s no way he could know this for a fact. Everything’s been kept under wraps and you know you have just as much of a chance as him. You both went well over budget and the partners love you equally. It’s anyone’s game at this point.

He laughs. “I’m just kidding. I’m 99% sure it’s gonna be me but who knows what could happen. You might still have a shot.”

“Fuck off, Kirstein,” you snap at him, getting ready to leave.

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” He waves his hands. “It could be either of us. Or maybe even Reiner might pull an undercover steal and take it from us.”

You can’t help but laugh at his words. Reiner’s good but he’s far from partner material so you know Jean's taking the piss.

Jean straightens up, demeanour becoming a little more serious. “You know … I think it might actually be you this time.”

Your eyebrows raise. “Are you playing mind games with me, Kirstein?”

“Nah. I think you deserve it, that's all. You worked really hard on that last merger with the Reeves company and it paid off. All the partners are raving about it.”

His voice is sincere for once and your mouth hangs open in shock. You can’t remember the last time you had a conversation with Jean that wasn’t the two of you throwing jabs back and forth. It’s no secret to anyone that you can’t stand the other’s guts.

It's strange. For some reason, he's smiling at you and that fact that you don't feel the need to snap back at him makes you want to smack him.

The lighting at the bar brightens up his sandy brown hair like a halo around his face and his eyes glow as they stare intently at you. Fuck you Jean Kirstein and your perfect hair and your perfect face.

“You look nice today,” he admits, gaze travelling down to give you a once over. The surprises won’t stop coming.

“Yeah, you clean up well too I guess.” It's not a lie - he's definitely attractive. The problem with Jean though is he knows it. You have to be careful with what you say so as to not feed his already bloated ego.

He smirks, obviously pleased by your admission. He hums, eyes wandering around at your surrounding before landing back on you. There’s a split second where you swear they flicker down to your lips briefly. “You wanna go dance?”

Your eyes widen in surprise. “You want to dance ... with me,” you say flatly, eyebrows furrowing.

“Yeah, why not?” He gestures to his body. “You know you want to.”

You roll your eyes. “Fine, Kirstein. I’ll indulge you this one time since you so clearly want to.”

Whirling around, you down your drink then stalk away to the dance floor. You hear him snicker behind you as he follows. Once you find a free spot, you turn to face him, suddenly a little unsure. He’s got a devilish grin on his face as he steps in closer to you. His hands come to rest on your waist and your body lights up at his touch. Hesitantly, your arms come up to wrap around his neck as you let the music guide your body, alcohol pumping through your blood.

After a few minutes, his head dips down and you shiver when his nose grazes your neck. Lips at your ear, he murmurs, “I mean it by the way. You look really good.”

“Don’t tell me you have feelings for me now, Kirstein,” you say in response, trying your hardest to hide how his words rock you to your core. He doesn’t say anything and just laughs, shoulders shaking.

When you look up at him, his eyes are fixed on you, glowing molten lava. Your breath catches in your throat. It feels like the world disappears beneath your feet as you find yourself trapped in his gaze.

Wanting to break free of the moment, you spin around. His hands are still on your waist so you find yourself pressed with your back against his chest. His grip tightens, hips still rocking to the music. You let yourself be moved along too, trying your best to calm your racing heart.

The song is slow and bass heavy, soulful vocals crooning - a little sensual for a conservative law firm like this. When the last few notes trail off, his head drops again to your shoulder and you can feel more than hear him groan.

“Shit,” you hear him mutter. He goes to move away from you but it’s too late. There's an unmistakable hardness pressing firm against your ass. You still and slowly turn to face him.

He has the decency to look embarrassed now, sheepish expression on his face as he puts his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry, I just got carried away. Please … pretend nothing happened.”

You stare at him, blood thumping in your veins. Despite everything, heat pools in your stomach while a wetness builds between your legs. You shake your head and grab your hand. “Let’s go.”

“What-”

You drag him through the crowd, turning into the corridor towards the bathrooms. With a tug, you pull him into a storage closet and shut the door behind you. He looks at you in a mix of confusion and curiosity. “What are we doing in here?”

You roll your eyes and step in towards him. “Do you want to do this or not?”

His eyes widen and they flicker from yours to your mouth and his breath catches in his throat when your tongue slides out to lick your lips.

Without a word he closes the distance between the two of you. His hands come to grip your jaw as he presses his mouth hard against yours. You share a messy kiss, your hands tangling in his hair, his sliding down your body.

He places wet kisses down your neck as one hand cups a breast, the other groping at your ass. You moan, head falling back as he sucks into your sensitive skin and pinches a nipple through your dress.

“I want to take this off,” he almost pleads, tugging at the fabric. “Can I take it off?”

You nod, letting him unzip and feeling it fall to the floor. His eyes roam your body. “Fuck. You’re so hot,” he groans.

He walks you back until your back hits the closed door behind you. Kisses trail down your body as he falls to his knees and hooks a leg up over his shoulder. He licks a wet stripe up your inner thigh, pulling your underwear to the side to reveal your glistening folds. Wasting no time, he dives forward to lick at your wet slit.

“You taste so good,” he moans into your skin. You’re breathless above him, eyes screwing shut with pleasure as he works his magic.

He takes your sensitive clit into his mouth, swirling around with his tongue and sucking. A finger dips into your folds and you clench tight at the intrusion. He curls it inside you, searching for the sensitive bundle of nerves and it’s obvious when he finds it because you jerk above him, moaning in delight. You feel his lips lift in a smirk and he’s relentless now. Another finger joins and he’s pumping, massaging your slick walls, still sucking at your clit. Your toes curl, heat building in your core.

“Come on, pretty girl. I want to feel you cum on my face,” he moans into your soaking cunt. At his words, it only takes a little more before you feel yourself let go and your orgasm takes over. Waves of pleasure rip through you as you pulse and squeeze around him. Your knees buckle and he catches you with one hand, pinning your hip against the surface behind you.

He grins as he removes his fingers, sucking them clean before wiping his face with the back of his hand. He stands, pulling your face into a messy open mouthed kiss. It feels nasty, the way you're panting into his mouth as you taste yourself on his tongue.

You reach down to palm at his crotch, feeling his hard cock straining against his pants. Eagerly, you pull them down and release him, feeling him hot and heavy in your hand. With all of his arrogance, you had been sure he was overcompensating for a lack of something downstairs but now you're sorely (or maybe thankfully) mistaken. He's easily the biggest you've ever had.

“Shit, I don’t have a condom,” he says.

“Oh,” you say in response, but all you can think is, damn he's big. You shake your head. “I’m clean and on the pill so I’m fine if you are.”

Jean grins. “Sounds good to me.”

He kisses you again before spinning you around to face the door. Your hands fall in front to catch you and he presses into your back. His cock is hard against your ass and he takes a moment to grind against you slowly. He guides it with his hand to slide a few times over your slit, gathering the wetness. You hold in a whine, already a little overstimulated when he finally lines himself up and pushes in slowly. There's a little resistance but you relish in the feeling of stretching around him.

“So tight,” he moans into your hair, cock throbbing inside you.

Jean moves slowly to begin with, letting you adjust to his size but it’s not long before his pace picks up and he’s fucking you in earnest. His hips thrust against your ass, cock sliding in and out, reaching areas you didn’t think were possible. You moan as you rock back into him, desperately meeting his movements.

Your head falls back onto his shoulder and your eyes screw shut as you feel him driving in relentlessly, letting your body go limp in pleasure. One of his hands grips the door next to yours, while the other reaches up to wrap around your throat to hold you up against him. He’s only resting his hand there really, but it makes you clench around him even tighter.

At the sensation, he hisses, hips stuttering. “Oh, you like that?” His hips snap in hard. “I knew you would, you dirty girl.”

His fingers tighten around your neck, lightly cutting off your air supply. It’s enough to make your head spin, stars forming in your vision. He pants into your hair, softly muttering curses as he pounds in quicker. You’re at his mercy now, moaning freely, as your orgasm builds again.

Legs shaking in the effort to hold yourself up, you lose yourself in the moment. Electricity streaks through your body, lighting up all of your nerves. The lack of air is making your limbs tingle, heightening your senses. The hand he’s using to steady himself falls down to your hip, sliding down to your pussy. You jerk when his fingers find your clit, the pleasure almost too much to bear. With a few quick circles at your sensitive nub, you're crying out as you cum around his cock. Your walls clench tight, uncontrollably and your hands claw at the door.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he moans, hips stuttering, all finesse out the window. “You’re squeezing me so tight. I’m gonna fucking come.”

He fucks into you without abandon, using both hands to grip your hips tight enough to leave bruises. He pounds into you relentlessly, the slick sound of your skin meeting each other filling the air, before burying into you all the way as he cums. His hips falter and slow as he reaches his high, spilling deep inside you. His forehead drops onto your shoulder, as he tries to catch his breath and carefully, he pulls out, his cum leaking out of your cunt down your thigh.

You fall forward, catching yourself with your forearms against the door. You turn around to face him. His hair has fallen out of its careful styling, a few stray strands sticking on his damp forehead. He grins at you, blinking slowly, lids heavy with contentment. You’re a little surprised when he dips down to capture your mouth in another kiss. His lips are more gentle now, movements softer as his hands lightly hold your jaw. When he pulls away, you’re breathless and frazzled, completely taken aback by the entire sequence of events.

“You good?” he asks you, eyes twinkling with mirth.

You nod in response, racking your brain to think of something to say but coming up empty.

“That was so hot,” he says in your silence. “I knew all that tension between us would lead to something great.” He smirks. “Didn’t think it would be so easy to get you like putty in my hands.”

You straighten at his words, batting his hands from your warm cheeks. “Fuck off, Kirstein. It was just unexpected. You’ll see. Next time you’re the one that’s gonna be putty.”

His chest heaves with laughter as he bends down to pick up your dress and hand it to you. “Next time, huh? Good to know.”

“You're the worst,” You groan, making a face at him as you step into your dress and slide the straps back up over your shoulders. You turn around, holding your hair up with your hands to let him zip it back up.

A shiver runs down your spine when his fingers graze your bare skin. He presses a light kiss against the side of your exposed neck. “Let’s get back out there then,” he murmurs into your skin.

You pretend your legs don’t buckle a little at the feeling of his touch and shake yourself off, smoothing down your dress. You can still feel the ghost of him inside you and his sticky cum dripping down your inner thighs.

Next time, Jean Kirstein. You’ll see.

[kichona-s]

Hereby requesting facial structure rant

ok for those who dont know this is reference to my post where i cry about george's beautiful fucking face at 2am

this is pretty fucking specific and also pretty long so i wont clog your tl with it so its under the cut

OK FOR GEORGE. Personality and everything else aside he has my most favourite face out of the entire grid (sorry guanyu) BECAUSE. LOOK AT HIM. THERE SO MANY NICE ANGLES AND ITS SO NICE AN LONG AND HIS CHEEKBONES??? THE JAW??? his nose also fits his face really nicely ok but the key is to not look at him head-on you need to get the side profiles and the 3/4 views because FUCK. i love so much theres so many points of interest for his face also his chin juts out really strong which looks lowkey kinda funny in some pictures but it really adds to the whole angleley bony face structure he has going on anyway. george my number 1 fav face the only thing im not a big fan of are his ears rip theyre too round for the whole angular coherency BUT THATS FINE IDC

MOVING ON TO MAX VERSTAPPEN (this is not done in a ranking order btw i havent drawn the whole grid so i cant properly rank everyone) ok like im gonna be real with yall. i thought he was fucking ugly as shit when i first got into f1. like i looked at his photo and was like ??? ig he wins a lot lmao OK BUT THEN LIKE A FEW MONTHS AGO I KEPT GETTING MAX STUFF ON MY TIKTOK FYP AND I WAS LIKE. HOLD ON. HIS PERSONALITY KINDA CUTE ASF. ok yea basically i gaslit myself into loving his face (either that or charles possessed me). for max im way too drawn to his lips (@loquarocoeur bro u know this lmfao) and ngl anyone who read the notes in my face breakdown u could probably tell but i love his lips??? so much??? gonna keep it pg here but he should suck on more things other than the twisty redbull can straw things

still on max but i really like how fucking square his face is. its so refreshing to draw. also did you notice that he has a small ass forehead?? bc he does. he looks wrong when i draw his forehead too big its kinda funny (looking at YOU oscar). i also really like his ear shape? it bends pretty low so it looks kinda cute and i try to make sure i draw it properly lmfao. special note to when hes looking down but then his eyes look up and holy smokes it brings out his nose bridge and the eyebrow bone thing SO WELL???!! anyway i want to eat him

for oscar uh. his face is oval? i guess?? after all the oscars ive drawn youd think i have more to say but i dont :( his face is pretty and also sometimes a pain to get right but other than that nothing too much for me to rant about. OK BUT HIS HAIR??? LOVE HIS HAIR I LOVE THE FUCKING SWOOPY THING IT DOES (it also makes my life WAYYY easier bc i can just draw the swoop and most people know its oscar yay for good character design). also everyone is right he does look like a cat. a cat with a massive fucking forehead. also whenever i draw him i remember that hes only three years older than me and its pretty scary ngl! thats hitting a bit too close to home for my taste! hes cute though and ive definitely drawn some banger oscars so one love

NOW FOR LANDO WHOOOOIMABOUTAMAKEANAMEFORMYSELFHERE! ok firstly his face is like a V so i always need to remind myself to bring the sides of his face in more compared to oscar. also did you know his eyes are a bit lopsided? theyre on different parallel lines im telling you go look at the 2023 official driver photos its So Bad i want to cry (that was also my first introduction to him so. i thought he was fucking ugly too). his face is really interesting to draw especially with his eyebrows that fade in and out and are really fucking bushy in the middle LMAO. do i love his face? nah. is it fun to draw? yea pretty fucking fun ESPECIALLY because he somehow suits all the funny shit i wanna put him in like dresses and skirts and bikinis (and also @cx-boxbox is an enabler istg half of the landos ive drawn probably wouldnt exist without her) also his ears look pointy from certain angles and i think thats really cute so i always draw them pointy :))

for charles uh i dont like drawing his hair its a pain. nice face i guess

LASTLY MY ONE AND ONLY!! THE MAN WHO BREAKS ME OUT OF ARTBLOCK REPEATEDLY!!!! ZHOU GUANYU!!!!!!! he's just very cute to me i love his stupid fucking eyebags AND ALSO THE WAY HE SMILES IS ADORABLE I WANNA PASS OUT :(((((( i dont draw his non-chibi version as much bc whenever i do i feel the need to make him Perfect (because hes my fav yknow) so i tend to just. not do it. unless i need to cure my artblock then i draw him so idk hes like my pc reset button. anyway i love zhou and i love looking at pictures of zhou and if he doesnt get a seat next year i will probably cry. also shoutout to sweetcorn the bestest most adorablest cat (wins out jimmy and sassy btw i dont care sweetcorn is the best fight me)

comments questions and arguments are all encouraged i stand firm in my stances (for now at least we'll see again 6 months later)

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

Wisdom Teeth Removal

Your girl is getting her wisdom teeth yanked today so here's how I think the cast reacts on anesthesia

Heartslaybul

Riddle: He's so so sleepy, and starts crying when he's told he can't sleep yet. He's very emotional, just wants cuddles, BUT he gets really excited when he can still eat like the custard part of a tart.

Trey: He's just Not Present whatsoever, he's in a different dimension. Just leave him to his thoughts and make sure he eats he's fine.

Cater: Does a tiktok with a before and after audio. However when he sees himself in the camera he starts crying and calling himself ugly, he needs cuddles and reassurance. In relationships where it is appropriate, he will try to kiss his partner and get So Sad when they won't kiss him

Deuce: Also pretty spacey, starts crying when he hears/sees his mom, but is also convinced he's spiderman.

Ace: Flirts with the nurse on the way to the car, is convinced he's being kidnapped like....

"Y'all are kidnappin me?"

"no we'r-"

"Its cuz I'm hot ahaha" *fuckboy face*

when he notices his bandaid he gets mad "I ain't a fuckin pussy, take it off"

Savanaclaw

Leona: He doesn't have wisdom teeth this son of a bitch. and although I really want to imagine Leona on anesthesia, chances are hes still just sleepy and gets mad when he cant have burger

Ruggie: Is convinced his gauze falling out is his tongue and panics, "I cant afford that" and while crying tries to stuff it back into his mouth

Jack: my poor baby is bullied so much by his upperclassmen that he's convinced that they took his legs too and just starts crying. They let himvideocall with his siblings and he starts crying and telling them how much he loves them.

Octavinelle

Azul: wough baby boy is so out of it, he doesnt even notice when smoothie starts dripping down his chin bc he can't feel it. He starts crying if you tell him he's making a mess, but is fine the moment he's shown he's clean.

Jade + Floyd: Wakes up during surgery around the same time as Floyd and both of them are trying to talk to each other and laughing because they cant with peoples hands in their mouths. Also this links to a tiktok thats like them. After.

Scarabia

Kalim: I can't find the video, but when he's sitting in the chair after surgery he notices a nurse leave the room and starts crying. "They should be here. Everyone should be here to see me"

Jamil: He and Najma get them done at the same time, he's emotional, she's making fun of him, gets confused in a funny way when he cries and tells him to stop being a baby

Pomefiore

Vil: He gets mad if you record him, he's still coherent enough to know he doesnt want a phone in his face, but the audio clips are immaculate. Compares himself to god more than once.

Rook: Son of a bitch doesnt have wisdom teeth >:(

Epel: Pulls his shirt away from his chest to look down and gets sad "they didn't gimme my muscles" and is absolutely miserable

Ignihyde

Idia: Ortho fucks around with him some, puts pringles cans on his arms and convinces him he's ironman/some equivalent from an anime or something. Mans is hyper in attitude but wont get up from his chair. Yes Ortho livestreams it to the rest of Ignihyde.

Ortho: N/A

Diasomnia

Malleus: he's really weepy after getting his wisdom teeth out. Lilia convinces him that his horns have grown legs and walked away and Malleus proceeds to cry more until his favourite person shows up and all is right in the world again.

Lilia: He's a runner he's a track staaaar, someone put him on a leash because he will unlock and open the door of a moving vehicle to try to jump out (HC that medical practitioners can enforce magic restraints so that while a patient is incapable of making an informed decision they cannot use magic) also dances a lot. Looooves to talk on the phone,ven if theres nobody on the other end.

Silver: Sleepy baby stays a sleepy babyyyy

Sebek: He has the widest fucking eyes at everything, everything feels waaaaay too fast for him, but its the first time hes so quiet , hes like dead silent

Masterlist