#bc people know when theyre like kids and that wasnt me
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Another year, another period of time where I question my sexuality
#it always makes me depressed tbh#this has been bothering for FIVE years and i still dont know#i just feel weird bc i feel like im fetisizing women#or like saying that i want to “try” for a lack of a better word#bc i feel like i need to be with a women to know if i really feel that way#but at the same time that makes me think that i actually dont like women#bc people know when theyre like kids and that wasnt me#like they didnt have to be with a women to know#and i feel like a horrible person since i need to be with someone to see if thats how i really feel#and i dont even wanna try and attemot that bc i dont wanna make the other person feel bad#like theyre a secret or an experiment or something#like i can thirst for some fictional female characters#but i feel like im not allowed to do that bc i kinda cant do that for real women? (not in a weird way)#like how i find attraction to real men#i dunno i just feel like such a shitty person#i should probably just bury this cause its a lost cause lol#it'll be a lose lose no matter what i do#im just gonna deny deny deny i guess#🥝.rambles
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#prefacing this with I Know Spanish. i cant not know spanish‚ my parents don't speak english#but im the only one of my siblings that didnt get to go to school over there 🇲🇽 (just pre school)#adn the thing is like. my siblings wld talk to me in eng of course#(if they talked to me at all! what do u say to a baby when you're 9 12 and 15 yrs older.)#and my parents wld similarly jst not talk to me? i did not have conversations with them from birth to now lol.#thjere is something about how like. my sisters kids are also learning the languages at the same time#but when they mess up in spanish theyre corrected‚ by my sister (their mom)‚ my other sister‚ my parents#why not Me. why wasnt that extended to Me as a child...#the same reason I have the least amount of baby pictures while my siblings all have one full book each i bet#the same reason why my and my eldest sister are 15 yrs apart LOL#igts so crazy to me. i hate mentioning this bc people assume#im one of those ppl who isnt fluent bc their parents speak english and spanish and never taught them#my parents dont speak english❗❗❗❗#my nephew thats older than me who is my fave family member and also only speaks spanish#is coming up on sunday idk that i can fully carry convo with him!#pure spanglish bc i didnt grow up having convos in it writing it reading it#thats why im so desperate to read books in spanish now. im so deeply ashamed#igts so crazy. i hate it.#saw a comment on smthng the other day thats like ''idk how u can have parents that only speak spanish and not know it lol''#well can you take a guess. can u take a guess as to how that would happen via interactions. lack thereof.#idk why but its even more embarrassing this way. genuinely how cld u not know...?#its like i was born to feel isolated from my family in every single way...youngest by so many years#the language thing. the Hates Eating thing. the trans thing. most severe failure to launch#im so embarrassed to be alive....!#and i dont belong anywhere. and i am Alone wherever I am.#abandoned by direct and distant relatives. ancestors.
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i think the fell xenologue does a great job at characterizing some of the royals beyond the vanilla game mostly because every single royal has like one or two core principles that really make them who they are and so getting rid of those one or two things completely converts them into a completely different person. like alcryst losing his self doubt, celine loses her empathy, hortensia loses her resilience, etc etc. but i think my favorite version of this has to be fogado, who has in my opinion the most drastic change. i think all of the other royals have very outward presenting traits that you can easily catch onto and see theyve lost. but fogado is just a little different, because what fell fogado lacks isnt really a trait; he loses his sense of love. (rest under the cut bc it turned into an essay. my bad also fell xenologue spoilers obvs)
“our” fogado (?? idk how to differentiate between them. work with me here) is not an easy person to read in universe. he makes it very clear in chapter 13 that he’s pretty good at deception and is very willing to make use of that skill. his supports with timerra and pandreo also tell us he’s gotten used to keeping up a specially crafted persona meant to kind of suppress his feelings (that timerra and pandreo can see through but. like 1. theyre smart 2. sister and bff ok moving on). but he doesn’t do it out of malice or because he just likes being tricky, he lies because he loves. everything in fogado’s life is shaped by what he loves: his country, his friends, and his sister. every single motivation he has is fueled by this: the constant partying, how often he leaves the castle, all his acting. its even in his goddamn class name (cupido) and birthday (feb 14) if you needed the game to spell it out for you
so thats why when we get to the fell xenologue, the fogado we meet is changed in that one specific way: his love is gone. we know this because of a few things, the first of which is that he is honest. aside from the robe (in which he is assassinating someone! but also. lets be so honest with ourselves here. you can see his fucking face) he’s immediately upfront with his intentions: he wants the bracelets, he wants power, and he wants you to die. and thats it. he just kind of hands you that information, and then fucks off when you win. on what earth would our fogado do that? dude wouldnt even tell you if he broke his leg, he just partied a little hard last night. but thats just it isnt it? our fogado lies because he loves people, hes protecting them. fell!fogado is transparent because he’s not protecting anyone, he doesn’t care.
but the biggest kicker in fell!fogado’s lack of love is in his interaction with our timerra. our fogado loves his sister more than anything, as he literally plans his entire life around making HER life easier. he sacrifices even just spending time with her just because he needs to make sure hes fully prepared to keep her safe (not that timerra wants that for him but he doesnt really get that. which is another topic i could dive into but this post is long enough lets not make it a novel). fell!fogado though? well you see–
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any love fogado holds for his sister, or any love at all really, is just not present in fell!fogado. and you could say that maybe its just because of the corruption, but then why do we still see love between the fierenese and brodian siblings? even fell!timerra still loves her brother if her conversation with our fogado is anything to go off of. but the writers know that fogado lives and dies on his love for people, its his entire being and so much more so than the rest of the cast. which is why thats what had to change in him for the fell xenologue. it wasnt really just a flip of the switch haha murder thing (though. it could have been handled better. lets be real) but it was the loss of everything that makes fogado him. and i think the fact that this gets to be highlighted in the dlc just makes base game fogado all that much more interesting, because it cements his motivation now that we know what he's like without it. fogado is a guy driven by love and its just fucking great
#fe fogado#ann gets engaged#ann writing paragraphs#im not really sure what compels me to type up gigantic rambles in the middle of the night but. whatever#anyways so next up on the agenda: my argument for why hes aroace—#ok kidding bc thats purely headcanon and has nothing to do with fogados motivations but cmon. let a girl dream.#anyways when i first started typing this out it was supposed to be like. four sentences about me liking the contrast between the fogados#whoops!#my hand mustve slipped#but idk i just like. i like talking about fogado bc i feel like not enough people really do#and like theres discussion about him but its usually either shipping stuff or unit viability#both of which are valid! its just that in those discussions fogado as a character takes a backseat#which is j such a shame bc. grerahhekkdke hes sooo compelling. im putting him in my washing machine#oh and then theres the racism in the fandom but. wow. fe fans and racism noooo way. so shocked#/s if that wasnt obvious#and THEN if there is discussion about him as a person theres like 50% chance its j ‘oh hes claude 2’#which i have already expressed my frustration about as i love both of them and theyre j. so not the same.#but people assume bc they know claude they know fogado and thats just not true. its so not true.#whatever im not trying to make the tags longer than the post i just think fogado is neat :)#engage fav? yeah. top 10 fe character? ykw. probably#ok goodnight
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i was just sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast, having greek yogurt with grape nuts - which i thought was perfectly normal - and my mom cam in and with complete sincerity told me that i needed to have some fruit with it because otherwise i was basically eating plain sugar. am i going insane here
#boink#i went grocery shopping for her the other day and apparently i got the wrong yogurt bc it has too much sugar and fat in it#idk#anyway she got mad at me for eating yogurt the other day too#i had had one spoon of it after stirring it up out of the fridge#and she got all prickly and asked if i ever check the serving size on food#and that i should pay attention to how much i was eating and put it in a bowl instead of eating it out of the container#which i was notable not doing#anyway#she also got upset when she noticed it was the wrong kind and said that i needed to be careful eating it because it's basically candy#and THEN when i got upset abt this she said not to get mad at her for caring#which#ok#but i just#god#i dont know#im the fattest person in my family#when i was a kid one of the traits that i sort of adopted bc people said it abt me was that i was 'always hungry'#even though that wasnt true#that im not picky and ill eat anything which /again/ is not true#and now that im older i can just tell. that people look at me and think i'm gluttonous. like it's a sin right#and i know especially with my family that that's what theyre thinking about me#i already have so much guilt about wanting things and enjoying things#like this year at school i feel like i was doing so well with that kind of thing#and i gained weight of course i did of course#and thats shitty and whatever the fuck but also i didnt hate myself for it a lot of the time?#and now im back in my house and its just like. i dont know#i need to work through things one step at a time#and i just cant#i mean not with everyone watching
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ohhhh my god. okay. so. my aunt does like, she buys random junk in bulk from retail wholesalers and then resells it on like, facebook marketplace and ebay and stuff. whatever. so my mom works for her. makes a flat $50 a day, regardless of the fact that shes disabled and doing hard labor for at least 8 hours a day, often 10+. and min wage here is $10 an hour but mom argued that $50 a day is still more than what she would make working the same hours at an actual job because of taxes...like girl that would be 50% taxes. you do not pay that fucking much. so thats already Bad.
but today mom shows me a video of a knife theyre gonna sell, and i watch 2 seconds and i realize its an automatic knife, and i tell her hey. thats illegal to possess in this state. let alone sell! and mom is like ohhh [aunt] knows what shes doing itll be fine.... we sell knives on there all the time she just doesnt put pictures and calls them something else on the listing to get around fb/ebays policies :)
LIKE. HELLO. THATS NOT BETTER. YOURE COMMITTING MULTIPLE CRIMES. *AS YOUR JOB.* and she was just like "its not a big deal she knows what shes doing." folks, this is the same aunt that, very illegally, paid me to sort through her clients confidential tax documents and bank records and stuff. because she works for a bank. and took the records home to sort them. i dont think she DOES know what shes doing, actually!
#why do both of my parents need to be so impressively incompetent. i like. cannot find the words for how . i feel about this#like. idc about crimes. go forth. be free. but maybe. just maybe. you should not make your job#“hi today i will post about how i am selling illegally possessed objects on a widely used public forum”#dont do crimes STUPID. yanno.#in other parent news. its now like. month 6 or so of dad refusing to get his insurance reinstated.#hes been on the same step (taking his paystubs to the dhhr office) for like 3 months?#anyway apparently he found out today/last night that when he was a kid he was diagnosed with gastroparesis !#which is like ! cool! you have a diagnosis AND ive been living with that for 16 years and can help you 🥰#but we were sitting there with mom (this was right before the knife thing) and she was like “well you gotta get your insurance now so you#can get on the right meds“ and dad was like yeah ill go....#and mom was saying well go in the morning when they open etc etc and he was like i will#and i pointed out that just two weeks ago i told him that too. and he didnt want to. bc hed lose money due to not being able to work#and mom was like well he doesnt work at 8am. and i was like yeah i know but i told him to go at 8am two weeks ago and that was his response#and then he proceeded to claim that this whole time he didnt know they opened at 8am.#folks. he doesnt start working until like...usually 10 or so. WHAT GOVERNMENT OFFICE DOESNT OPEN UNTIL 10.#PLUS. WE LIVE IN A RURAL HOUR. *BUSY* TAKES LIKE AN HOUR. MOST OF THE TIME YOURE IN AND OUT WITHIN 20 MINITES.#ive been fucking considering PAYING HIM to go get it.#and then he claims he didnt know it opened at 8am. when i have told him that. MULTIPLE TIMES.#WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE LIKE THISSSS THEYRE THE MOST IMMATURE ADULTS IVE EVER MET AND THATS IMPRESSIVE!!!#IVE KNOWN PEOPLE WHO PAY THEIR RENT IN COKE OR WHO ARE ESSENTIALLY PROFESSIONAL PARTIERS. AND *THEYRE* MORE RESPONSIBLE AND MATURE THAN MY#PARENTS. SO WHAT GIVES.#also theyre 50 like cmon yall. youre not even 20 or 30. i think you should know how to not like. get your job shut down or die of lack#of medication.#did i tell yall one of the times a few months ago i was nagging dad abt getting his insurance#his response was literally. no exxageration.#he was like oughhh i dont wanna see doctors because then theyll find out somethings wrong with me#and ill have to go on a bunch of medication.#and then he actually for real. said.#“being on too many medications killed my grandma”#even mom was like cmon man. thats not even true. they misdiagnosed her and put her on WRONG meds. she wasnt even on that many.
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How were you guys watching sp as kids? I think if my mom heard 5 minutes of it she'd clutch her pearls and die
#Really i dont think anyone should watch sp until theyre old enough to know you shouldnt imitate characters#A lot of sp i dont have a problem with bc i dont believe depiction equals endorsement but most of the time when I see people talk about the#Harm of sp its really just bc the audience wasnt mature enough to handle what the show was doing imo#Sp resonates with me bc i like how awful the children treat each other compared to more innocent depictions and it my experience kids were#Vicious
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i am so glad most people in my life have realized talking to me about pregnancy, birth, and having kids is NOT going to go over well and just full on avoid conversations about it with me.
literally could not be any more grateful.
#i wasnt even guilt tripped about ignoring my sister giving birth a few months ago by the few people who know both of us#they never even brought it up.#and theyre the type to try and guilt trip#bc when they made a comment about how shee said the kid looks like me bc of his fat cheeks i said 'yeah drug withdrawals will do that to a#baby' and that was the last theyve said about her or her kid LOL#if it isnt making me physically repulsed and triggering my tokophobia then i guarantee you it's annoying me#9/10 times it's both.#trust me yall would not want to hear even a fraction of what goes through my head when you talk about your (potential) kids.#almost as much as i do not want to hear about your kids.
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#OH BOY. i could NOT do this vtuber streaming shit like my friend#2 days in a row there are these nonsense fucking chatters and i know for a fact theres more when im not looking#like the other day somebody came in cussing abt how they didnt get a response from the company my friend is from after auditioning#and like wtf is your problem? not like my friend is in charge of that and they dont respond right away anyway#I WAS PRETTY MAD SEEING IT ACTUALLY but my friend wasnt mad at all and was patient and explained it#and gave them a kind warning and all that. friend is so much better than i am actually#and ik “its their job!” it is but my friend is naturally that nice actually. which is wild 2 mebc im not mean but im not that patient eithe#and today oh my god somebody came in and was asking a lot of stupid shit abt my friend being “recruited” and if they can get recruited too#or join the project too. first time chatter btw. asking if they can join the shit my friend is talking abt being part of#like? who the fuck are you?#AND ITS FINE TO ASK like oh is this opportunity still available for audition or joining? but they were bombarding my friend w a bunch of#stupid ass questions that look like questioning if my friend even knows what theyre talking about? pissed me off#doing that and then asking if u can get in on the stuff my friend is doing without showing that you can sing too?#oh context is its singing projects. and not my friends btw. my friend got in bc theyve got multiple singing friends and covers up#that people recognize them for. and like i said theyve done live singing competitions and have won voice acting competitions.#they worked hard for what they have and they continue to work hard every single day! on stream and off stream#so to walk in as a first time chatter and bombard my friend with questions like that.#OH MYG DO WAIT the chatter didnt even fucking know what they were asking to join#we said hypmic (RAP ANIME) and my friend said they were doing a cover w ppl. bc thats what theyre doing#and then explained the song is from an anime bc the person was asking whats hypmic. AND THE PERSON SAID anime? i thought u said its a cover#and they brought that energy more than once in a few minutes so im pissed off but my friend literally has the patience of an angel#AND THEN. THE REASON I EVEN STARTED THIS RANT. JUST NOW. SOME NEW FIRST CHATTER CAME IN while my friend was singing (recording on stream)#and I KID YOU NOT THEIR FIRST COMMENT RIGHT AWAY WAS. “wtf did i walk into” AND IS THAT NOT FUCKING RUDE AND STUPID?#THE STREAM IS TITLED RECORDING STREAM BTW. AND THEIR SECOND COMMENT? TELLING MY FRIEND TO WORK ON THEIR HIGH NOTES.#WHICH IS FINE BUT THE LINE MY FRIEND SANG WAS CLEAN? thats not one of the times i wouldve fucking said that? also who are you?#youve been here for like less than half a minute and came in with this stupid fucking attitude. MY FRIEND WAS SO NICE ABOUT THAT TOO#AND LIKE I SAID. KINDA THEIR JOB. THEYRE ALSO JUST THAT NICE ALWAYS.#like im sure my friend can handle it but also what the fuck is wrong w some of u. wheres ur fucking decency when talking to strangers#maybe im just defensive bc ive seen this friend be vulnerable and go through hard times but COME ON. YALL CANT BE DOING THAT SHIT?#maybe im just a hater. idk
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in kind of a tough spot in terms of accepting my autism bc i always feel like im faking it or im not autistic enough somehow. im aware its a spectrum and it affects everyone differently, and I don't really know how much I may still be masking, so it's possible I have symptoms I'm masking that I don't even know about since I've been masking unknowingly since childhood. but I always feel like i'm somehow just not... idk. like I don't experience autism in the 'right' way. this is not helped by the fact that society at large has a pretty specific image in mind when picturing an autistic person, and I don't really fit that image
idk. in another universe it was never noticed and I went my whole life feeling like the things I struggle with are just some kind of moral failing or proof of some inherent badness within me. so I'm glad my doctor brought it up. but also it's lowkey been really stressful, because I don't really know what is a mask and what isn't. I don't have many masking behaviors I do consciously but who's to say how many unconscious ones I have - and the presence of unconscious masking behaviors means it's easy to think 'oh no I don't do that/have trouble with that/experience that, i must NOT actually be autistic.'
basically. unconsciously masking has succeeded in masking my autism even from me sometimes.
#i also have to wonder.... the big thing for my social anxiety is looking stupid or weird or foolish#i wonder if that comes from a childhood of being perceived that way due to something like the tism#and eventually it just got into my head that people thought i was weird or stupid. so deep down i must actually be those things#and now thats morphed into this fear that people will think im stupid or weird for even the littlest things bc theyll see through my mask#theyll see who i really am which is. weird.#a feedback loop where before i could mask as a kid people thought i was weird so i learned that I WAS weird#and now that belief is so ingrained in me that even when masking i have this feeling like#if i dont do all the right things and act the right way theyll see through it and know im a freak#i have this sorta thought process a lot when my anxiety gets bad#im constantly thinking 'i cant do that i'll look weird' 'i cant say that everyone will think im being strange'#its a constant loop of 'i cant say that i cant do that theyre going to think im weird im going to look stupid im going to seem weird'#if this is the case then no wonder therapy never seemed to help my anxiety much. bc the anxiety wasnt really the root problem
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maxwell and sammy are all mine and i love them like my children but its pretty hard to divorce them from fnaf enough to make them straight up ocs. sammy especially bc hes technically not my oc, even if i made up every aspect about him except his name and dead twin sister
#my point being i keep seeing oc post and going ‘omg me about sammy’ but sammy isnt an oc. technically#i literally wont even change his name if i do ever just make him all mine. i love him sammy is my bff forevers.#sammy smiles real wide and has sharp canines. he cant stand silence and talks to himself CONSTANTLY and its worse around other people#he interrupts people a lot by accident. and is really bad about holding friendships and doesnt reach out to people. after he took max in it#was impossible to shut him up bc someone was actually there now. he has serious trust issues and thinks ppl dont like him bc he thinks#everyone to have some big secret theyre all collectively keeping from him to keep him ‘’safe’’ which stems from. his mom doing this to him#about his sister and dad she just straight up refused to tell him until he found out on his own. so for 11 years he knew that. they for sure#you cant just split up your family in half in a divorce. something seems incredibly wrong about that but he didnt know what actually#happened there. also they were young when she died but he still felt like a part of him went missing and without the knowledge she died he#assumed. hed see her again and fill that hole. and of course that wasnt true. so anyway he struggles to make and keep friends#hes had like 8 different partners who lasted more than a month (most of them didnt want to deal with max) and he cant keep any of them bc a#a lot of people meet this cute charming guy with a lot to say and realize hes literally like this all the time and it stops being cute and#starts being annoying. he wanted to have kids bc he really likes kids but nobody wants him unfortunately and also he had. max for 8 years#and max is for sure his kid (from his perspective max is weird about it bc max thinks of his dad. as his Parent and sammy as more of#brother) but like max was not really what he was thinking when he thought he wanted kids right. and he feels bad about thinking that but#he does. think that. he wants a kid of his own. sammy is a therapist for kids with trauma specifically so that also impacts his ability to#have a kid. he worries that. bc of his personal experience of what Can happen that he may in turn be a helicopter parent or way#overprotective. yknow. he#ive got to go to bed omg. i got enough thoughts down!!!!#simons spouting#a lot of this is just awfully written but you cant read back or edit tags on mobile. not my fault
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John. John Splatoon. The man, the goofball the sweetest man youll see. Chatty, bubbly, and gives really good team morale.
But things arent all sweet.
I wonder if he shuts himself up when he feels hes being *too* jolly.
His family is kind. Its not their fault. Yknow how people are fucking mean to those who are very excited abt things.
I think he had an experience like that. Tanara was thankfully there when things started getting really bad.
John was made fun of when he first started turfing. He was just sooo excited abt it all. So enthusiastic!! He studied abt the greats, the top players, all that. And the bitchass mean kids thought itd be funny to crush his dreams.
They made fun of him when he rambles abt strategy. They mocked him whenever he tries to be a hero and gets fucking splatted for it (OH GEE, IF HIS TEAMMATES WERE ACTUALLY *HELPING* HIM HE WOULDNT HAVE GOTTEN GOT).
One time I think some bastard jammed his weapon so it was unusuable for a while, and he was unable to turf.
"Good riddance," the team had said. "That beak is finally quiet for once."
Tanara saw this happening and decided to stand up for him.
They saw this boy getting picked on, and didnt hesitate in open firing at the bastards. Didnt care if theyll get banned for a week for firing a weapon off the field.
"|Hey, are you the guy who cornered me in the last match? Color me impressed.|"
Tanara doesnt stand for bullies. Ever. They hate seeing these kinds of people in the leagues. They hate the fact that these nutjobs are so good at the game!!! they want to make the leagues a fun place for everyone. None of this fuckinh bullshit. From a young age theyve already defended others. Wanted to make a better world where everyone can just be who they wanted to be, grow into their best selves.
The orange squid was a big help. With them actually recognizing his talent and running by his side,,,
They made him believe in himself. Fuck what everyone else says.
"|We won because of your strategy,|" they sign. "|If it werent for you, we'd have lost the tournament.|"
And hes given a smile of encouragement. Oh, sweet understanding, sweet recognition.
For a tender year they and John built a strong team and friendship. John became this cheery man bc of them.
They helped him stand up for himself. Helped him in the art of not giving a fuck. Or raining retribution where it is applicable (the duo have sent bullies crying after giving fjem say -- a 20 second rainmaker match)
Whenever someone tries to make fun of him in the later years, or now -- even if Tanara is out of the picture bc theyre getting blended -- he will literally ignore the naysayers. Bc he knows. He knows Tanara believes in him. He knows his team believes in him. He knows many others do, as well.
He knows his own capabilities. He knows what his limits. And hes. God, theres a reason hes second in command. Hes smart about the sport. Hes scary on the field. Dont let the goofy attitude fool you. Hes having fun but you on enemy team wont!
Some people are recently saying that Tanara left their old team bc John was lagging too far behind them, that Ink Typh∞n is the natural next step for them.
Dead wrong dipshits. If anything, those two are eye to eye.
If Tanara wasnt forced to retire, theyf still be fighting by his side.
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Ofc its not all perfect. He still shuts down sometimes. Shuts himself up if he gets scared of offending someone/in general.
If he doesnt get reassurance or proves to himself/his naysayers of his own capabilities, he starts going quiet, smiling less.
Those wounds still hurt, Im afraid....
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And what about after Octo Expansion.
What was going through his mind?
Like....this is your best friend. The one who helped you become the man you are. They were your role model. Theyre so strong, so assured. Confident. Ruthless on the turf. So skilled that nothing can faze them. Believed in you like no one else did.
And youre watching them seem to get worse day by day.
Theyre closing up. Theyre not telling you anything. You reach out but they dismiss you. And their colors only get more desaturated with time. They still believe in you, but its clear that theres something bothering them.
You try to share your joy with them, talking about the things you liked. Like old times. It turns out however, that the character you idolized in the media you consume, is them.
And it explains everything.
An entire secret double life and they didnt tell you.
You were their best friend. They were by your side when you struggled to make it in this city. They gave you assurance when your confidence started to fail.
They were your hero.
Where were you then, when they needed one themself?
They slump into John's arms,,
Theyre only older than him by a year. but they feel so,,
They feel so frail. A shadow of how they used to be. A body broken by war, a mind and heart ravaged by worry and vigilance and the weight of the world on their shoulders.
They tell him that they dont want him to take this load. They tell him he doesnt deserve it.
He says he has no plans of getting into this, not directly. He just wants them to come back to him after duty, or allow him to help in any way he can.
He'll just wait by the door, like he always has.
And hes holding them. He wants to keep them there til everything becomes okay again.
#splatoon#splatoon fanart#agent 3#captain 3#john splatoon#kaori splatoon#splatoon promo kids#BC THAT IS THEM TECHNICALLY#opal owl’s nest
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almost done with ok ko and im going bananas crazy insane over straight people again
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(ok ko spoilers under the cut)
it drives me insane because i was under the impression that Venomous/ Laserblast planned to fake his own death and did all of this bc he disliked point and knew something was wrong way before Foxtail started acting out, which i think is normal to assume bc thats how overaching villians work, theyre conniving or whatever, but no. he didnt plan any of it. he didnt even want to be a villian, he just wanted to be more powerful, not out of selfishness or ego but because he thought his friends and his girlfriend secretly hated him and he was determined to make sure that wasnt the case. before the twist i kept getting a gut punch bc of how well loved he was, and i was expecting that to be a bad thing he did, but PV was so ill he couldnt have known. he left w out knowing how loved he was, but he left so suddenly and his mental state was so awful that he couldnt have even thought about it. and he still continued to hurt himself and make himself sick and just wallowed all alone picking himself apart for years until he found fink. And the thing that kills me the most is that HE WOULD HAVE COME CLEAN. PV was literally about to crawl out and tell Carol he was safe but she said he wasnt 'strong enough' and he was so sick at the time he couldnt go out there and talk to her. hes probably convinced himself he never wanted to return because carol would probably tell him to his face hes nothing to her, and he already knows that bc she moved on (he assumes, im not sure how long he knew K.O. was his) and had a kid w someone else she probably doesnt grieve him anymore. and it drives me crazy bc the way gar was talking they were like. fuckbuddies. but they lived together, he had a photo of her to look at when he stayed at his lab long nights, he trusted her enough to talk about his insecurities w her and her to him.... He was just sick and he needed help, and he ruined his own life multiple times because he was so sick. all of this to say please get Venomous medical attention and Gar please die. please. im begging. (laserspark ftw. foreverrrrrrrrr)
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pleaseee...draw devwinn interacting... plssss
ok sorry it took forever for me to answer i may have gone slightly overboard with the doodles but I REALLY LIKE DEVWINN AND MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A WHOLE UNWRITTEN FIC ABOUT THEM IN HIGH SCHOOL AND LIKE 7 MILLION HCS ABOUT HOW THEY MET AND THEIR FUTURES AND UHH UHH hcs/all the stuff leading up to my unwritten fic are all below the cut if youre interested ✨✨
winn moved to dimmadelphia in the fourth grade
pretty much instantly dev "befriended" them and started being really clingy with them. he had a MASSIVE crush on them right from the start
winn wasnt actually all that big a fan of dev at first because yk he was mean to most of the other kids, but they didnt want to hurt his feelings so kind of went along with him
(side note i hc that dev has literally been wearing pretty much the same outfit since forever. hes so autism)
dev and winn only got to being real friends once hazel and dev became friends (bc yk shes got the balls to actually tell dev when hes doing something mean, so thats rlly when dev started improving as a person)
winn and dev had the same homeroom in sixth grade and ended up sitting right next to each other, which was when they really started becoming a Duo
winn broke their arm in a skating accident during the winter break of their sixth grade year, dev was the first one they got to sign the cast :] winn never stopped skating but they did do it a lot less + more carefully after that (by order of their parents)
dev started growing his hair into a mullet in the seventh grade because he "thought it looked cool" (<< started noticing his gender dysphoria and wanted longer hair in an attempt to quell it)
winn thought they were bi for all of seventh grade and most of eighth grade bc they had a crush on dev
SPOILER ALERT dev is a trans girl, she comes out in the eighth grade and her chosen name is devine. she still goes by dev but all her friends know what its short for
dev doesnt want to come out to her dad bc she doesnt know how hell react. (tbh if she did come out, her dad would be super supportive and good with prns and names and terms in public, but slip up a ton in private bc he doesnt care as much when people arent watching)
obv winn told jasmine and hazel about their crush right when it started developing, so it became kind of an inside joke between the three that winn has "transbian senses" after dev came out
just before ninth grade, winn decided to get a buzzcut, and theyve been growing it out ever since (this is mostly bc as much as i love dyed hair undercut enby/trans characters THERES TOO MANY PLEASE CHOOSE A DIFFERENT HAIRSTYLE FOR YOUR FICTIONAL TRANSES AND ENBIES SOBBING)
they bleached it blonde when it was about two inches long, and never bothered to cut off the blonde so now they just have blonde tips
winn ended up being 6'5" and joined varsity basketball in the tenth grade because they didnt wanna waste that height
dev stole their original varsity jacket because it was comfy (and because it was winns and it brings her comfort) and then paid for their replacement jacket
jasmine started learning how to sew and embroider clothes over the summer between ninth and tenth grade and so helped devine sew on her own name tag (dev just told her dad jasmine was a bad speller and tbh dale didnt care and was like ok son whatever)
dev ended up stuck at the spectacular height of a middle schooler (5'2") and winn thinks its adorable. theyre strong enough to pick her up whenever they hug her. sometimes when they get excited they spin her around
dev also started wearing her hair curly occasionally in the tenth grade bc winn told her she looked pretty with it like that. her dad doesnt like it when she doesnt slick it back and gets passive aggressive about it whenever he sees her like that
winn started getting panic attacks from all the pressure of high school after joining the basketball team, and dev usually ends up talking them through it, although jasmine and hazel are also good at helping them
they dont think their anxiety is bad enough to be a disorder so they never get a diagnosis/help (until Things Happen in my fic :]]] )
hazel and jasmine are both aroace (in this timeline at least, ive got a few other fic ideas where hazel is bi) and in a qpr. they are also fandom girlies and fic writers, so when dev finally tells them in the middle of tenth grade that she has a crush on winn (and has for a while) theyre both like OOOOOOOHHHHHH I SHIP IT and they, along with cosmo and wanda, start trying really hard to get them together
unfortunately hazmine and coswan have literally no idea how human teenage romance works irl SO. shenanigans ensue :]]]]]]]
anyways yeah thats my buildup to my fic/my personal hcs, no peri mention because hes ✨elsewhere✨ when all this is happening
#my art#fop anw#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop a new wish#fop dev#dev fop#dev dimmadome#development devin dimmadome#winn harper#winn fop#fop winn#devwinn#fop devwinn#ask
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Hi saint! God you have no idea how much I wanted to go home after seeing you updated. You’re basically the only one with notifs on bc I cant, CANT, miss an update from my fave fic of all time (fears for my life bc you said it doesnt get better til chapter 14)
Anyway, this is not really a theory, but im curious as to what transpired between mc and toru the morning after their confrontation. Why did gojo leave? Did they fight? Did mc force him to leave to go to akemi to lessen her feelings of guilt?
Anyway, why do i have a feeling that akemi could, COULD, be 🤰? bc if my memory is correct, I recalled one scene where they woohooed with akemi saying she wanted no protection on? And since i do work on a medical field, it is possible for cramps when implantation happens (mc will have the heart attack of her lifetime istg). Although it could also be bc of her condition bc it wasnt really really explicitly stated in one chapter they woohooed without protection on (my memory is foggy bc i never reread chapters where they woohooed. I feel mc’s pain 🥲🥲) but why do i also have a feeling mc could be pregnant too
👁️👄👁️ bc they did have sachiro after woohooing in the first few chapters of SN (theyre both so fertile skdhjssk). Also, I feel like mc’s heart condition is coming back :((( after chapter 10 where she was pounding her heart to stop the pain, I can only imagine her angina waiting in the corner ;((
There’s only a few remaining chapters left (💔) but theres still so much drama and tension left unresolved (Gem still doesnt know they 👉🏽👌🏽) I thank you from the bottom of my heart that you continuously grace us with your writing. There are only a few fics that really made me feel the pain and surely your writing will always be at the top of a godtier list when it comes to giving heavy angst (i can only hope they have a HEA and have a new kid bc i really wanna see satoru redeem himself as a father 🥲🥲) I will surely miss this series when it ends and I will surely reread this when I am feeling the blues and just want to cry. Your brain and hands work wonders and I hope people here would also learn that waiting for the next update is definitely worth it (please stop pressuring her for new updates :(( saint gives her entire heart writing this. The wait is so so worth it).
And before this ends I would like to ask mc and satoru what are their current thoughts are after their 😏 hot steamy confrontation (I WAS SO HAPPY THEY FCKED TBH) no pressure if they wont answer hehe. Thank you for giving us SN and SY, Saint! I will look forward to future fics from you. Sending you much love and I hope and pray that you get all your heart’s desire 💛💛💛💛
hello loveee!! those are really good questions and thank you so much for ur kind words 🥹 i recognize ur blog bc you’ve been a longtime reader of mine, so happy to still see u here <3 anyway, your theories:
1. the morning after, gojo and yn are already having an emotional exchange (kinda) thats why yn was already crying when akemi caught them!
2. what i can only say is akemi’s pelvic pain situation is there for a specific reason :)
3. their families (gen, momjo, etc) will be back soon, it’s total chaos
4. while doing it? they’re definitely going crazy for each other. next morning is all guilt !!
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Who do you think Rose's best friends in her age group are? Or should be?
well its a complicated question because i am in a constant battle with dc as to what her age group actually is. but everything i say is canon forever
first of all obviously i have to say bart allen. thats her bestie that is one of the only people she gives a shit about thats her buddy!!! ive said before that the real tragedy of bart & rose is that they just keep barely missing each other, because they meet when rose is too busy mourning her mom to make friends, then the next time they see each other is right before slade starts drugging her, then when she finally joins the team its right before bart gets aged up then dies (or whatever happened to him in oyl idk). then when they finally are on the same team at the same time the universe resets 2 weeks later :( but theyre still friends !! to me!!!! i dont care if its been 15 years theyre still besties ok
the next obvious one is eddie bloomberg <333 he is pretty much the only person on the teen titans that she consistently likes and he likes her :( she fights with literally everyone but eddie is always there for her AND always defends her when people come for her :(((( AND every time hes in danger she drops everything to find him and ouggghhgghh..... but she wasnt there when he died and we never actually get to see her reaction to his death and that kills me every day forever
anyways. sigh. the next one is jason. as much as i think he should stay away from her unfortunately they are besties and i love their dynamic 😔 i am never abandoning my "theyre just friends but she thinks its funny to pretend theyre fucking" headcanon which makes all their interactions so iconic to me. ive talked extensively about my thoughts on jayrose here so i wont go into it again but. as much as i fear for rose's characterization i DO love it when they interact </3 i want them to keep showing up together if their relationship stays ambiguous
NEXT. this one is a little bit less canon but still canon to me. connor hawke. in the secret version of robin 2021 in my head, connor & rose become besties on the island because theyre the "big kids" who are around the same age while damian & the others are like 14 so these two end up bonding. i also think rose would think it was awesome that connor was able to kill her so easily (bc the only other person who could was respawn and he only did it because he got a cheap shot while her back was turned) and then she'd be a little disappointed once she found out that connor actually doesnt kill anyone outside of the tournament. but shed still like him a lot i think bc she does tend to get along with people who dont like to kill. half the hero community looks at rose and goes "i could fix her" while she is actively making herself worse
also obviously i have to say cassie. its hard to consider them "friends" since theyre constantly fighting but i blame sean mckeever for that. theyre FRIENDS they actually do get along and so much of their arguments are really just flirting bickering :( their love language is being mean to each other but they actually do like each other ok!!!!! you have to believe me because i love them
and toni monetti!!! shoutout to the only female character rose has ever had only positive interactions with for more than 1 panel
and! i have a lot less evidence for these next few but its real to me
first of all mia dearden. they've had one interaction ever but that was enough to convince me they should be friends. this is so so important to me theyre besties and i know it
also stephanie brown. they've only been in the same room on panel once but i just know theyre secretly besties. and rose has called her cute so its yuri too
and finally. the one that i have the least evidence for is lorena marquez. you guys just have to believe me that they would be best friends. just knowing the two characters i just know they would get along so well if they were only given the chance... they could be haters together :(
anyways in conclusion rose needs more girl friends. most of the people she Actually gets along with are men and im sick and tired of it. let her make friends with girls. or better yet..... let her make out with girls
#ALSO honorable mentions to damian and cass#but damian is not in her age group. and cass is not her friend#rose wilson#dc#long post
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GO FUCK YOURSELF WES STREETING
warning before proceeding: this is not a regular post. it is not going to be especially funny, or educational, or coherent its just going to be multiple paragraphs of unfiltered rage. if you want to know what I'm talking about i will post an Official blog post on it immediately after this. the only reason im even posting this is to maybe vindicate some angry trans kid out there today. i see you, your anger is justified
FUCK WES STREETING. i mean that. i have never been so shocked at how angry i am with somebody. the boiling rage i usually feel towards politicians like him is usually tempered with a veneer of predictability to it. and don't get m wrong, it wasnt that I didnt see a full puberty blocker outlawing on the cards for the UK. what did me in was the bloody fucking letter. maybe its bc hes from the less right wing of our two parties, maybe its bc he's a gay man himself and it feels like more of a betrayal. bc he sure does bring that up a lot in his letter doesnt he. oh he is just so bloody sorry about how trans kids are feeling, and he knows he can't understand fully (you can't wes, you really can't) buthe swears he empathises just a bit.
the entire thing is so FUCKING CONDESCENDING. the patronising tone is tugging the strings of my anger like a fly in my ear and WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE wes streeting to say “I know it won’t feel like it based on the decisions I’m taking today, but I really do care about this" . its another "we're doing whats best for trans kids theyll understand when theyre older"
because your message wouldve been a fairly reassuring if empty statement if it had come from LITERALLY ANY OTHER MP. but for the man who's in charge of enacting the puberty blocker ban to say that rings sinister and well just a prick move isnt it. the man acknowledges the high rates of violence, suicide, self harm ect in the trans community while he plows on with deleting their healthcare. and it is TRANS healthcare specifically because he was asked about kids who are prescribed puberty blockers for precocious puberty and outright admitted that the medication was clearly safe from those cases and they were only banning them for trans kids
but the line that is just a real KICK IN THE TEETH is one particular phrasing. “I can’t pretend to know what that’s like, but I do know what it’s like to feel you have to bury a secret about yourself, to be afraid of who you are," oh bury a secret bury a secret you know what its like to bury a secret do you wes streeting do you know what its like to bury a child?? which more people will have to do in the future after this legislation
and going on that your reasoning is there arent sufficient studies to show that banning puberty blockers leads to an increase in suicide??? firstly, why is your measure of success "not having this will increase suicide" in a study about whether it is physically safe?? you've admitted the medication is safe for cis kids so it JUST TRANSPHOBIA but also you know the British board of psychology wouldn't ever approve the sorts of studies you're discussing, right?? You know that it does not legally comply with ethtical requirements to conduct a study where the measure is "how many people commit suicide"? you know??
he knows. he says he cares. he cares about nothing but his career. fuck wes streeting.
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