#like how i find attraction to real men
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Another year, another period of time where I question my sexuality
#it always makes me depressed tbh#this has been bothering for FIVE years and i still dont know#i just feel weird bc i feel like im fetisizing women#or like saying that i want to âtryâ for a lack of a better word#bc i feel like i need to be with a women to know if i really feel that way#but at the same time that makes me think that i actually dont like women#bc people know when theyre like kids and that wasnt me#like they didnt have to be with a women to know#and i feel like a horrible person since i need to be with someone to see if thats how i really feel#and i dont even wanna try and attemot that bc i dont wanna make the other person feel bad#like theyre a secret or an experiment or something#like i can thirst for some fictional female characters#but i feel like im not allowed to do that bc i kinda cant do that for real women? (not in a weird way)#like how i find attraction to real men#i dunno i just feel like such a shitty person#i should probably just bury this cause its a lost cause lol#it'll be a lose lose no matter what i do#im just gonna deny deny deny i guess#đ„.rambles
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lesbian masterdoc and the unforgivable damage of making people hear compulsory heterosexuality and think of "can lesbians have crushes on men?" (no) instead of "are heterosexual women settling in unhappy marriages with men bellow their worth because of economic and social pressure?" (yes)
#not claiming the theory was without flaws but it sure didn't describe some virus mental affliction that exclusively plagues lesbians#for starters the theory was primarily about marriage. so it did recognise the historical fact of lesbians forced into marriage to avoid#honor killings and the still present possibility and threats especially when it comes to cults and strong religions#(once again mentioning as a JeovĂĄ's witness in a brazilian periphery my girlfriend accepted the tool of losing her entire family and social#circles to reject an arranged marriage at the age of 17. and she's bisexual. but THAT is what compulsory heterosexuality alludes to)#but more often than not when it addressed lesbians it was as the inherent threat they pose to heteropatriarchy#that they mere existence proved women were not all born to serve men. and that their lives often proved women are much happier and#accomplished when away from the burden of men.#and this acknowledging just how much loneliness was a reality through lesbian's experiences#at the same time I can understand the frustration of that feminist theory being reduced to 'comphet is when lesbians in high school were#pressured into picking one of the Backstreet Boys to lie about finding attractive'. and even more so when that non universal and much less#serious example somehow morphed into 'comphet is when bisexual women either lying or confused about being lesbians have sex with men and#find it unfulfilling' because accepting that narrative erases and harms lesbians#so I understand the 'comphet isn't real' posts especially because written like that it tends to refer to lesbian masterdoc and following#fiasco. but at the same time that wasn't the original intent of compulsory heterosexuality the actual feminist term#this is just me complaining about how social media butchers theory tho unless they are specifically naming Rich and the many other feminist#who wrote about heterosexual marriage as an institution I won't bother lesbians for venting frustration about neoliberal erasure of lesbian#the original theory sure didn't claim lesbians were immune to all this misogynistic violence but the term was never exclusively about them#and tended to ask more of 'where do we stand as women and feminists as a group much more interested in destroying heterosexual marriage than#simply making it more bearable?'#this got a little messy and senseless I'm tired#.txt
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sorry to everyone of my followers who arent into fable, im never going to be calm again
#THIS STREAMM#i mean i wasnt calm before either but like#the un calm ness is real#GOD WOLF JUST KEEPS ATTRACTING THE PURPLE STAR MEN#HOW MANY EVEN ARE THERE#HOW DOES HE FIND THEM ALL
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i am so apathetic to popular male transformers characters, but i have a simple trick to make me care abt them: i turn them into robot women then i suddenly start seeing their appeal
#grimlock would be so awesome as a butch woman. DO YOU HEAR ME DOES ANYBODY HEAR ME HELLOOOO#also crazy in depth conversation i had abt this made me think abt why i get rlly. apathetic abt popular tf characters#esp when i realize all the popular characters im Whatever abt are all men#but i always have interest in the female ones and also the niche little weird guys#you are looking at rare scrounge fan. rare wheelie fan. and Number 1 Fan of Blurr*#*when hes a dorky weird anxious guy. yknow the ones ppl dont care abt bc hes âannoyingâ and âuglyâ#i dont give as much of a shit abt the handsome cocky racer blurrs#i realize. because tf fandom has a weird thing abt only caring abt how attractive a character is#and tends to gravitate to male characters for that aspect#like lets be real here. there is such a high priority in this fandom for what characters look best in porn. im right.#and ppl love the yaoi robots for that.#and i. am on the aroace spectrum. and do not find as much attraction in men (though i do sometimes. just less so)#so this doesnt appeal to me#so i find myself so incredibly apathetic or a hater to a lot of the tf fandom bc of this#in turn i do not care so much for the popular characters or straight up see them as red flags (admittedly im a bit irrational for this tho)#a lot of times i get a feeling like âok whats so special abt this guy. its just another conventionally attractive man" it feels boring to m#so that might explain why i become more interested in these characters if they arent men#this is all being said from a nonbinary person that leans more transmasc btw. just noting that.#rando thoughtz
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Child, not some random ass man following me all the way home from the laundromat, staring at me unlocking the front door like some sort of Michael Myers with worst hygiene, telling me that he wants to come in with me and then trying to get my phone number after I bluntly refuse, men really have nothing but the audacity
#like sir if you don't go back to whoever's couch you're crashing on atm and leave me alone..#like maybe try to find a shower you can use before you try getting anyone's phone number smfh#also i look like shit today but i'm wearing my short shorts and that combo always attract the dustiest crustiest bums fr#i need to buy longer shorts because this is not worth it lmao#btw one of my only male mutual who i quite liked unfollowed and potentially blocked me yesterday#right after i posted about how people who believe that misandry is a real problem are dumb#so in honor of that i'll be even meaner to men and that's his fault idgaf#anyway i'm still on break from tumblr but i had to share this interaction with y'all because the audacity! truly unbelievable
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OPEN STARTER | Patrick Finch
"I condone lying. I encourage it, even. I recommend it. I could hardly live without it."
#;open starter#the wolf;patrick#the wolf;open#he's always the most difficult one GOSH#also you must envision he's saying this with this weird open deadpan stare where he#well how do i put it: he's clearly fucking with you but he does it with such an open genuine expression#i mean he does condone lying he's not lying here (LKDSG!!!) but he is also fucking around#so this is Patrick he's 37 or anywhere around that age he's agender primarily he/him pronouns bc whatever yknow#the agender vibes of WHATEVER i know what i'm talking about trust me i have a phd in agenderism#anyways he's an informant but about as unorthodox as you can imagine he's just fucking around and finding out frankly#very depressed very jumpy very good at hiding it lmao he's my darling â„#he is very motherly somehow i can't explain it#he has somewhat of a history in accidentally attempting to adopt powerful young women i don't know why he???#knee-jerks into wanting to be a mother figure i don't know him that well you guys#like he met suki (ferre's kamipyre) for a few minutes one time and#days after he was wondering if she'd wore a jacket because it was cold out like--#men don't get the same kindness if you're a charming kind-hearted competent warm and humorous DAD kind of guy he's unfortunately#emotionally attracted to you? unfortunately because he hates it~ but if you're any other kind of guy you're just... you're some guy to him#yes if you're young he'll adopt you too but begrudgingly-- KLDGFGKLFDHGJF#if you're a they/them you're his kid already are you kidding that's your mum#OH I JUST HAD A TERRIBLE THOUGHT so do you know om*g*verse?? regardless of how you feel about it#it do be a thing and i just had this horrible thought about how if pat were a real guy in an established canon#he'd probs get the feminisation treatment amiright?? NO LISTEN HE USED TO BE A HUGE WOLF#AND HE'S ACTUALLY FILLED WITH SO MUCH RAGE AND WRONGED PRIDE#patrick is gentle when he likes you and because he's Smart he doesn't just BITE out of nowhere he's always been like that#Fenris was known for being INCREDIBLY well-spoken BUT ALSO A HUGE PROUD WOLF#LIKE BIG WOLF-- it doesn't show but he's Very Proud and STRONG and ??????#;queue#i picked a gif came back and realized i lost it there for a sec NO MATTER makes for good entertainment
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starting to wonder if iâm using romantic relationships to fill the void in my heart that was once occupied by the many close friendships i used to have with men and amab ppl
#i miss having real meaningful friendships with men and amabs#as a child more of my friends were of opposite genders#after shit went down with my ex best friend from college i said ânever againâ#now iâve had 3 relationships where theyâve ended and i find myself grieving the platonic components of these relationships more#like the jokes and banter and how our personalities worked together etc.#for exes 4 and 5 itâs hurt to meet someone and hit it off as friends and then watch it all go to shit because attraction got in the way#lizzy's personal posts
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thinkin abt benny tonight
#tags rant approaching lets goooooooooooo#ive been thinking abt his route a lot and his overall place in the story#and i think it would be. REALLY interesting if he got revealed as gay in the sequel#he's already the one who's able to reject toxic masculinity the most !! he's the only one who wants to actually befriend five !!!!#and im not saying that it would be impossible if he was attracted to her but what im saying IS#how Pointless this whole journey in the hopeful must have been to him then !!!#it would also mean that he had to be deep in the closet around his friends due to how affected by toxic masculinity they were which is! sad#im saying this all as an aroace benny believer btw. but a character like him being canonically aroace seems ! kinda unrealistic#but gay benny is real. it's possible. he already gets homophobic comments thrown at him#and im not saying i want him to get called a faggot. hes already a faggot in my heart#like i literally dont care about him liking men i just care about him not liking women#i want this 'searching for The Girl' adventure to feel completely pointless to him at a personal level#but knowing that he can't abandon his friends like that. and pretending that he actually cares about finding her#and for it to become something bigger in the sequel. something beyond personal. like this is not about him anymore#does any of this even make sense#EDIT because i forgot more thoughts i have#first of all sth more personal and less analytic which is: even if he was aroace i dont think he'd have the words for it anyway#and who cares if hes gay or aroace or both hes still queer and not into women#and second thought. it would mean that he didnt have feelings for the red haired girl#which makes. his whole pre flash backstory a lot more interesting#bc she couldn't have been ''leading him on''#but the whole situation got misinterpreted from the outside. basically#idk man. i like benny i just think he's neat
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I love the big realisation my type of men is informed directly by my abandonment trauma <3 /sarcasm
#Iâve known for a while.#it doesnât make it any less genuine of course â I am a person who is intensely loyal and attached#and thatâs why Iâm so fearful of relationships. and often these qualities are donât found in men my age in my area⊠so I have to wait ^-^#also ik he is just a crush and I donât treat him like heâs real in reality â but Bya is very important to me and thatâs why any man I like -#-is also similar to him (literally just that other guy with the same voice actor and their only difference is the colour of their hair LMAO)#like if I had a boyfriend â he would be my type. itâs only him. I donât find anyone else attractive and I hope thatâs reciprocated#S/I and Byaluya are âasexual 4 asexualâ fr (as the hip kids say) â not saying that quality is limited to asexuals ofc#but I feel I would be a lot more comfortable with a partner who is also asexual â but I probably could expand more horisens if I recover mor#I hope that didnât come across as offensive because it wasnât meant to â it is just important for me.#trauma mention#how do I tag this??
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You should have called yourself Lesbian Jesus /j
Your theme is so yummy, I wanna eat it
LMFAOO I WOULD IF I WAS A LESBIAN,,,,
#idk my sexuality actually. like. I might be more sexually and romantically attracted to non men than I am non women and NB#but idk how to label myself bc i find myself simping for fictional men#but then again fictional characters can't dictate your real life attractions. probably...
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my pattern of girls i've had crushes on is so funny
#like in elementary school i had little girl crushes but i couldnt really articulate that they were crushes#and then in ms i liked the only other 2 gay girls i knew because thats how it goes#then in hs i was like fuck it. ima go all in and have crushes on whoever#so then it was like. one straight girl 2 years older than me. one lesbian 2 years younger than me.#one straight girl dating one of the hottest men at our school and she was madly in love with him.#pretty sure those are the only major ones Hah#only bringing this up bc my MALE SITUATIONSHIP had the AUDACITY to tell me he DOESNT THINK IM ACTUALLY GAY#AND IM CONVINCED HE WAS JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT ME TO BE A LESBIAN#LIKE BE SO REAL.#also he gets offended whenever ppl bring up the fact that the only men i find attractive are men who look like girls#like sorry that its true. u look like a girl babe.#r
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step one. going "well, this is the way things always will be" like yeah at that rate obviously you won't be doing anything to change that, but that it's also not simply "ohh inaction, terrible" but rather like, what's he point of that if not to apologize (in the Apologetics (pl noun) sense &/or "sorry :/" sense alike) for Actions that play into The Way Things Are. then how that "things will always be this way, thus: i'm acting like it" logic is found in more blatant Actions, like: may as well invest in it! perhaps by punching down on people who Aren't acting like that, & rather being more disruptive & operating according to premises & principles that are Not the alleged "way things are." like you might be classed as Woman, bummer, but instead of embracing what disrupts the creation & maintenance of a patriarchy, how about punching down on more vulnerable women as the Real Problem? same goes for being queer but hey it's This queerness considered even less compatible (&/or allegedly eligible for consideration as meritous exceptions in The Way Things Are, whose obviously preexisting existence within it will totally be Accepted the way the more conforming parties are) with normativity that's the real issue. always the status of Truest Authorities, the logics of who are "opposites" of them, the status of Disruptive Rejectors Of This System, the status of those who totally have the Bold Vision of: scapegoating the people rejecting the system & acting accordingly, who just might happen to end up perfectly aligned with those who already openly embrace & actively support The Way Things Are, & who the Truest Authorities sure benefit from, like yeah focus on undermining those who disrespect & question this & are Responsible for my pushback which is an inevitable force of nature b/c this is the way things always will be. le epic. existing in the lil authoritarian unit of Shit Nuclear Family Household sure is a heck of a primer / learning by living lol like the familiar (lol) logics crop up everywhere in the other sites n structures of authoritarianism & the "well, this is how it'll always be, & i'll be acting like it, thank you" times like the Search For The Scapegoat & the people totally sympathetic to & on the side of those as/more shitted upon / with less power until whoops push comes to shove they'll wash their hands of it if not lash out at them. the Highest Authority lashes out? force of nature, whose fault was that Really? well, the people they targeted. you bring it upon yourself & perhaps others if they're Also shitted on & if i'm targeted too i sure won't care about Others, & while i'm Less targeted, i'll be doing the best thing i can do: appeasing the authorities. which your Disruptive behavior sure isn't doing so umm you're kind of my realest enemy & wow it sure is easy to punch down on you so i'll be increasingly invested in doing that, maybe, & the sheeple can't handle it so i'm also a martyr
#thinking like ''what's a word for the Force Of Nature designation vs scapegoat designation'' but like it's right in the Scapegoat term#scapegoated For Something rather than a more general ''anyone blamed &/or ostracized ever''#the problem isn't thee person made Authority whose actions we're all dealing with. not if we go ''well we Have to deal with that''#and then find someone else to take it out on & probably settle on who's most vulnerable & thus already ''a problem''#& so likely to Not Invest in this system b/c of the part where it's Worst To Them#including calling it into question more perhaps by nature of their existence that already Disrupts the way things are & always will be#the patriarchy? have you considered shitting on women? wow how could radfems end up besties with fascist misogynist men. a mystery#the normativity of compulsory sexuality? i think you mean ''ace people aren't just cishet but totally Agents Of Homophobia & w/e''#up next the brave normative ''being poly is fucked up & again the real enactors of homophobia or w/e. also being bi. or nonbinary. &c''#gosh if only it weren't for These Bad Ones / The Ruinerrrs we'd all have Ascended#there's never ''contradictions'' there's the coherence of Being Invested In Power & thus treating those with & without it differently#someone the other day making essentially the same argument of ''what a Contradiction for a man to have a wife And be misogynist''#just adding on any compounded vulnerable status like whaaa how can anyone be sexually attracted to [group] And bigoted against them#yeah what a Contradiction when you also believe sexuality is about accessing consuming some bodies as objects/products#the Ir/Responsibility of Disruptive People like ah so the responsibility of those empowered by & invested in the norms? No#for them they're treated as a force of nature. gonna do what they're gonna do & we all must respond by adapting around this#oh so the disruptive parties are treated like that too? no; they're everything that's wrong with this world. & so on
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actively live laugh loving through a crisis of sexuality except its not in the fun way (the fun way is: oh my! am i gay? i should find a hot dyke to experiment with)
im twenty three years old i cannot seriously be wondering whether or not i like boys. i already did this shit in middle school like can we not
#bro i literally did conversion therapy about this shit đ#if it turns out that im bi im gonna be so mad like im not even kidding#a year or two ago i had this little blip of a moment where i was like... surely im not bi... right?#but i was in a HAPPILY committed long term relationship so i was content to just like. never examine it too deeply#bc i was like. well its not like im going to be in a position to find out so it doesnt really matter lol#but now im wicked single and its like ive been pressing âignoreâ on a pop up for too long and now its gotten to a point where its#completely unavoidable#do i like men!!!!!!! fuck if i know!!!!!!!#its not like i can just find a random guy and be like hey can we make out real quick i need to check something#bc im so legitimately terrified at the idea of being NEAR a man like that#but being scared of engaging with men doesnt mean that you're incapable of being attracted to them#like. i know i like women. thats easy to check. can i see myself spending the rest of my life with a woman. yes. check.#is the idea of being intimate with a woman appealing. yes. check.#like i know that shit. its not even a question.#but with men its like: i dont fucking know!#can i see myself spending the rest of my life with a man? no. because the idea of that hasnt even been on my radar since i was fourteen#like. it was either i was going to end up with a woman or i was going to be celibate for the rest of my life.#and any thoughts of âending up with a manâ before that are those of a girl who grew up in a heteronormative society and didn't know another#option was even fucking possible!#god and as for being intimate with a man. i dont know! âdoes it excite you?â i dont know!!! i have no fucking clue!!#and the fact that i dont have that gut reaction or desire is what made me feel so sure about being a lesbian#but i legitimately dont know if i have the capacity to feel that way#and like... i wont know if i dont check. but how the hell am i even supposed to go about doing something like that???#is this comp het?#i dont fucking know!!!!!!!#whatever it is its not fun or sexy and its REALLY killing the vibe
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#i vent too much :'(#I'm a bit down bc we were talking about balgur gates charactersBaldur* loland how popular they are with people romantically and stuff#like who would you date if they were in real lifeAnd someone said not many people wanna date Astarion bc he's too slay queen#and only girlies like himAnd I'm sad that femme men are somehow less desirable :( within the mlm community#I feel like I'm only desirable when I'm a girl or enby#and when I'm a ||cunty|| man men won't find me attractive...#Hhhhhhh I hate going on any social media and only seeing conventional bodies and genders#I HATE seeing art of the TF2 characters ripped as hellThis man is 40-50 YEARS OLDAnd he is FATand he is wobbly AND BEAUTIFUL#stop drawing him with a 6 pack EVERY time
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â· First Time?
Synopsis . When you get paired with the campus asshole, Sukuna, for a project, the last thing you expect to learn about him is that heâs a damn virgin. Nor did you expect to be the one to change that. / Pairing . virgin!Sukuna x fem!reader / Content . afab!reader, oral sex (m!receiving), premature ejac, non-curse college au, dirty talk, pet names, degrading, porn w plot, teasing, taunting, filth, etc. / wc . 6k
A/N: ty to the nonnie on my main who asked if Iâd ever write virgin!jjk men :3 [MDNI]
Who wouldâve thought?
Of all people, Sukuna, a virgin? It just didnât make sense.
He was this stand-offish asshole who most people respected out of pure fear. He didnât exactly do parties and yet you could always find him at one. Heâd always have some chick on his arm or even in his lap so, in what world would anyone with a brain assume heâs actually never been inside a woman before?
And to make his lack of game all the more unbelievable, heâs even rumored to have a big dickâ itâs like some overly well-known campus fact about the guy.
So, again, what reason would anyone have to think the guy was a virgin?
Certainly not you, of course. And you donât expect to be the only person to find out such information either.
The way you find out is probably even more bizarre than the fact itself. You and him had little to no reason to ever interact with each other. You werenât some shy nerd who holed herself up in her room all day or anything but you werenât much of the party type other.
You were stuck somewhere in the middle of all that, vicariously living through some of your friends who had better things going for them.
As such, there was no real reason for you and Sukuna to cross paths. He never even had a reason to acknowledge your existence until the two of you are paired up together for a project in the one class you happen to take together.
ââ
The background noise is the chatter of your fellow classmates and their own project partners, you find your partner grumbling out a low, âWhat?â In response to your last statement, having hardly heard a thing you said.
âI said,â You huff, sitting beside the man in question as today marks week two of you being paired up with him for this semesterâs project, âWe should be meeting up outside of class too. We could get his knocked out in like a day if you just-â
âOh that,â Sukuna cuts off casually. Seated all slouched back in his seat, his legs sprawled out in that signature manspread of hisâ he rolls his eyes at your little reminder, âYou said somethinâ about that last week.â
You speak through slightly gritted teeth, fighting the headache heâs about to give you from this conversation alone, âAll the more reason for you to take it into consideration. The faster we get this done, the less we have to deal with each other.â
As you say that, you glance at him only to find his eyes directly on yours already. Heâs got such lazy posture, his head tilted slightly whilst he gazes at you so intently, and his big muscular arms folded across his chest. Even wearing a black hoodie and gray sweats, he still looks as attractive as everâ mean low-lidded crimson eyes locked on yours, tattooed face so beautifully defined, and rosy lips pulled into such an uninterested little frown.
Up until your words hit his ears properly, âThe less we have to deal with each other, huh?â Sukuna repeats, narrowing his eyes even further at you, âYou barely even know me ând yet you want nothing to do with me already.â
âI know enough about you, Sukuna,â You say with a sigh, âAnd you hardly contribute to this project as is. Which only proves that everything they say about you is probably true.â
He arches a brow, his interest piquing, âAnd what exactly do people say about me?â
You let off a light scoff, âDonât act like you donât know.â
âBut I donât know,â Sukuna tells you honestly, maroon eyes boring into yours.
You stare for a moment as you try to decipher whether or not heâs being honest right now. How does he not know what people say about him? Everyone talks about his brooding personality very openly.
âThey say youâre an ass,â You eventually say to the man.
To which his lips twitch into a slight smirk, âAnd you believe that?â
âSeeing as Iâve asked you to, at the very least, type your name on this document and you havenât even done that yet,â You scoff, âYes.â
The two of you mildly glare at one another for a moment before Sukuna leans up in his seat. Breaking eye contact for just a moment to look at his laptop, he swiftly moves to open up that shared document of yours and types his name out with a heavy sigh.
After which, heâs slouching back again and looking at you, âDonât believe everything people tell you, woman.â
You roll your eyes at him, âWhat? Are you not fond of rumors? That still doesnât negate the fact that youâre an assho-â
âWhen do you want to meet up?â Sukuna grumbles out almost reluctantly, watching the way you pause and swallow thickly as he catches you off-guard.
Heâs almost even intrigued by how quickly you bounce back, despite being caught by surprise, âFriday. Are you free?â
âUnfortunately,â He grumps.
You give him a little shrug, âGood. Iâll see you then.â
And that was it. That was how each and every interaction with you and Sukuna went. Bickering back and forth about him not doing shit to help you with something thatâll affect your grade majorly, criticizing you about being too focused and needing to relax every now and then, and even calling you a stuck-up little brat one timeâ it was safe to say, you and Sukuna didnât get along too well.
Not that you minded anyway. He wasnât your first partner to care little about their grade so, you knew how to deal with these kinds of people by now. Typically, you indulge yourself in their craving to ârelaxâ just once and then they promise to start helping. Youâve gone down that path before and itâs worked for you then so you assume things will go the same way with Sukuna.
Plus, you guess you can give him a slight pass for his asshole attitude, at least he has a pretty face to look at. Dark ink always decorating his awfully smooth skin, deep dark yet beautiful ruby-shaded eyes boring into whatever it is his focus on, and broad shoulders looming over your smaller figure every time he stands in front of youâ you can't help but feel both attracted and intimidated by the man.
ââ
Which is exactly why when you open your apartment door for the scheduled meetup that Friday to crane your head up at him, youâre swallowing thickly to settle your nerves. Youâve never been alone with the man so of course youâre a bit nervous.
Especially with the way he gazes down at you like thatâs exactly where you belong: beneath him. His eyes are filled to the brim with intensity and yet heâs only just set them on you. Wearing a noticeable black compression shirt and those signature gray sweets of his, he almost appears as though heâd just come from the gym.
And just as you take in his appearance, he very openly takes in yoursâ his eyes raking over your body and taking in every single inch of you. After all, just as it was your first time alone with him, it was his first time seeing you dress so comfortably. He doesnât even try to hide the way he stares at your tits peeking out from the rather thin spaghetti-strap top you were wearing, his eyes soon trailing down slowly to those tauntingly short shorts you had on.
âSo,â Sukuna swipes his tongue over his lips and cocks his head to the side, hands stuffed in his pockets and eyes yet to lift from your legs, âAre you gonna stare at me all day or are you gonna let me in?â
You blink out of whatever little daze you were in, having found yourself gazing at his chest far longer than you meant to. It was right in front of your face after all, how could you look anywhere else? And his shirt was so damn tight, the fabric hugging his well-toned body perfectly, so much so that you swore you could make out piercings on his-
Sukuna leans forward suddenly, his face nearing yours to gain your full attention, âIf you keep staring at me like that, Iâm gonna assume you invited me over for something else-â
âSorry,â You chirp out as you clear your throat and awkwardly step back a bit to let him in, âYou can come in.â
Nodding, Sukuna slips by you and you shut your apartment door behind him. Then, youâre quick to lead him over to your living room where youâd previously been working on your project.
The two of you are hasty to take a seat on your couch, both of you only a few inches apart from one another whilst you lean toward your coffee table and log into your already open laptop. Sukunaâs eyes are all over you as always, studying your side profile, your intent focus on the screen in front of you, and even the way you-
âDid you even bring anything?â You suddenly ask before you glance at the man.
Sukuna quickly meets your gaze, ripping his eyes off of wherever theyâd been previously, âWas I supposed to?â
âSukuna,â You sigh out, âPlease tell me youâre joking right now.â
He swallows at the mere sound of his name rolling off your tongue in that scolding tone of yoursâ heâs heard such a tone from you time and time again and yet, for whatever reason, it never seems to annoy him.Â
âIâm not.â He says plainly.
âHow are we supposed to work on this if you-,â You cut yourself off and decide not to even attempt arguing with him. Arguing wonât change the fact that he showed up with nothing. âJust uhm,â You glance elsewhere for a second before an idea comes to mind and you place your laptop down and stand up, âStay here.â
Sukuna doesnât say anything. He merely watches as you huff and walk off, swiftly exiting the living room and disappearing down a nearby hall. He swears he finds himself looking at you a bit more than intended. Especially as you walked off, his eyes dropping to your ass and those damn shorts of yours.
Even when youâre out of his sight, he still finds himself staring in the direction of which you went, almost unable to look away for whatever strange reason.
That lasts for a few minutes until he snaps out of it and leans back against the couch, tossing his head back and letting out a long sigh. You soon return to find him with an arm stretched along the back of the couch, his legs spread as usual, and his eyes up on the ceiling.
He doesnât even notice youâve returned until he feels something placed in his lap. Looking down, Sukuna finds your laptop kindly set on top of him. To which his brows furrowed in confusion and he looked at you to see you sitting on the floor in between the couch and the coffee table with a paper and pencil in front of you.
âWhatâs this?â Sukuna scoffs.
You donât even spare him a glance as you begin writing something down, âHow weâll get things done.â He opens his mouth to say something but then youâre looking back at him with a glare, âI already organized the parts of this project that you have to do so, since itâs on my computer, you can work on that and Iâll work with what I remember.â
You wholeheartedly expected him to find something about this to disagree with you on but, to your surprise, he simply nods and redirects his focus to your laptop immediately.
And then, the two of you work exactly like that for the remainder of that little study session.
ââ
Sukunaâs not terrible to work with when itâs just you and him. If anything, heâs rather cooperative and a lot smarter than he leads on.Â
Which is why a solid two hours of productivity flies by surprisingly smoothly with him. If you asked him a question, he answered. Told him to do something, heâd say something snarky, and then do whatever it is youâve instructed anyway.
It all went so perfectly up until he let out a really heavy sigh, âAlright, Iâve had enough for this.â Sukuna says casually.
Heâs been repeating a similar phrase every thirty minutes or so but he usually gets right back to work after getting ignored by you. This time though, you get the feeling heâs serious when he pushes your laptop off of his lap and places it forward on the coffee table.
Itâs then that you frown, âOh câmon, we were getting so much done,â You comment as you glance back to him.
He shrugs, âI canât keep looking at that damn screen, itâs giving me a headache.â
âOf course it is,â You utter sarcastically, rolling your eyes whilst you place your pencil down and throw your arms up to stretch, âFine then, we can take a break.â
Sukunaâs brows lift in surprise. He didnât expect you to listen to him, âGood.â He hums, âI was getting bored as well.â
You scoff, âWere you?â
âYeah, can we do something else?â He asks.
Turning around, you rotate the way youâre sitting so that youâre facing him and your back is resting against your coffee table. âLike what?â You muse, meeting his low-lidded gaze.
âTalk,â Sukuna says.
Thatâs it? He wanted a break to talk to you? Your eyes are narrowing at him before you even realize, âTalk?â You repeat with a scoff, âSeriously?â
He nods, âMhm.â
âWhat do you wanna talk about, Sukuna?â As you ask him that, you watch the way his eyes casually slide down to your lips.
Does he mean to be this indiscreet with his looks? Or is he eyeing you down like that on purpose?
The man shrugs, âAnything outside of fuckinâ school.â
You laugh at that, âOkay, I can work with that.â
He tilts his head at you and licks his lips, âYeah?â Something about your little laugh threw him off.Â
âMhm,â You hum as you look down at your hand, fiddling with your nails a bit, âThe rumors⊠are they true?â
Thrown off yet again, Sukunaâs brows pinch together. âRumors?â He echoes in a genuinely confused tone, âWhat rumors, woman?â
The sound of your scoff makes him stiffen in his seat. Almost in an instant, the atmosphere had changed suddenly. âCâmon, donât play dumb,â You tease, lifting your gaze to him again, âThe rumors about you.â
He gives you a perplexed look and itâs almost as though you could see the gears in his head turning. âIf you know something, say it.â He demands.
You sigh, âSukuna, do you seriously hear nothing people say about you?â
Sukuna shrugs, âI donât care enough to remember. So what is it? What rumor?â
Youâre just curious. You swear thatâs all it was. And, naturally, since he seemed to have warmed up to youâ of course you wanted to know if that rumor about his dick was true. Youâre both adults and itâs just a silly question. Plus, with the way heâs been looking at you all afternoon, youâre sure he wonât mind answering you with a simple yes or no.
Glancing to the side, your shoulders lift a bit, âItâs uh, rather intimate.â You hush out.
Sukuna narrows his eyes at you, âIntimate?? An intimate rumor about me?â
His emphasis on himself makes your eyes flick back over to him. âYeah, are you sure you donât know what they say about you??â You ask again.
âPositive. Now speak, what is it they say?â Sukuna huffs impatiently, even more curious about this little rumor after the mention of it being intimate. After all, heâs never-
âPeople say you have a big dick,â You utter way too casually.
So nonchalantly that it makes him choke, a choke you donât mess with the way he clears his throat and sits up a little. âWhat?â He rasps out.
You bat those stupidly false innocent eyes at him, âI didnât stutter,â Your tone dips into something different and he catches every bit of it, âPeople say you have a big dick, is it true?â
Sukuna clears his throat and for the first time, he glances away from you. Then, he opens and closes his mouth, contemplating his next words carefully before they soon fall from his lips, âYou wanna find out?â
His offer spurs a shift in your seat from you as you scoot closer to him ever so slightly, âYou wanna show me?â You ask boldly, your tone direct, and not even a flicker of hesitation present.
âDo I want to-,â Sukuna pauses, his eyes scanning the entirety of your seated frame as you inch closer to him, âWhat?â He huffs, swallowing thickly.
You move to stand on your knees and lean forward to the couch, soon propping your chin up on your palm as you look at him, âShow me,â You chuckle, âI asked if you wanted to show me, Sukuna.â
He blinks, âShow you my cock?â
You shrug, âYeah.â
The air is so thick right now, Sukunaâs not sure how exactly he can play this off without making a fool of himself. He gulps yet again, only to watch as your eyes start to drop down along his body.
âStop,â He rushes out, âKeep your eyes up here. On mine,â He commands in a low tone, earning your gaze once more.
And then itâs quiet for a moment. Heâs staring at you and youâre obediently keeping your eyes up on his. Sukuna hates it but he doesnât know what to say or do from here. The last thing he wanted was for you to find out his little secret.Â
Itâs like he was waiting for a fucking pin to drop, something to break the silence. Yet, his mind was going blank and words were failing him at the moment. Heâs flirted with women before, plenty of times actually, effortlessly evenâ but for whatever reason, as you sit there with those stupidly pretty eyes staring at him, his mind simply flakes on him.
Heâs like that for a minute longer until you move. So subtly too, sliding a hand to his thigh, leaning forward slightly, batting your lashes at him, âSukuna?â You whisper.
His hips are rolling upward slightly at the sound of his name alone. âW-What?â He stammers, mentally cursing himself a thousand times over.
âIf you donât wanna show me you can jusâ say no,â You hum, smiling a bit, âYâknow that, right?â
He scoffs, âOf course I know that, woman.â
âIf you know that thenâŠâ Your fingers lightly squeeze his thigh and you tilt your head, âAre you gonna tell me or show me whether or not those rumors are true?â
Something simply clicks inside Sukunaâs head. Rose-tinted lips cracking into a smirk, the man spreads his legs further and slouches back into the couch, âFind out for yourself since youâre so curious.â
Your eyes go wide, âWhat?â
Sukuna scoffs lightly, moving one of his arms from the back of the couch and placing his hand over his crotch. Of course, your gaze sinks down to his veiny hand, watching as he palms a stupidly large bulge in his sweats.
Your breath hitches a bit, âI-I-â
You donât even get the chance to get it out before heâs cutting you off, âCâmere,â Sukuna hums in that low voice of his.
âWhat?â You whisper.
You and him make eye contact again and he nods his chin toward the space in between his legs. Nothing can really explain why you follow his gesture and quickly find yourself sitting in between his legs, taking a deep breath as you settle your hands on his thighs.
Sliding your touch up and up and up until your fingers graze his hand. The same hand that was resting on top of that aching bulge of his.
Sukuna slowly lifts his hand up and away, relaxing his arm on the back of the couch again as he stares down at you. Cocking his head to the side, âWell? Feel it.â He huffs.
You donât even hesitate. Trailing your fingers upward carefully until you feel the outline of his cock beneath your fingertips, gulping as you drag your hand up to cup his length in your hand firmly, and smirking at the way his cock twitches furiously beneath your small touch.
Sukunaâs mouth falls open for a second but youâre too engrossed in feeling him to notice. He lets out a shuddered breath as he watches the way you grope his steadily growing erection. His head even tosses back and his fingers dig into the couch for a moment.
âIt is big,â You whisper to yourself, your words only making him twitch more within your hand.
âFuck,â Sukuna grits out lowly, hips unconsciously lifting to press himself further against you.
His curse earns your attention. You quickly glance up to him and see the way heâs got his head tossed back, Adam's apple bobbing with every heavy gulp he takes, and his chest rising and falling rather quickly.
You lift your hand carefully and decide to test something out. Slowly, you lean forward and just barely press your lips against his clothed cock.
Sukunaâs whole body reacts. He gasps louder than he means to and heâs weaving his fingers through your hair faster than he realizes, palming your scalp as he quickly looks down at you. âT-The fuck are you doing? Huh?â He huffs while gripping onto your hair.
You lift your head a bit but he keeps you in place, despite his question to you. âI justâŠâ Youâre not exactly sure you can explain yourself.
And by this point, Sukuna doesnât think he cares enough to hear an excuse from you, ââŠYou what? You wanna see it?â
All you can do is give him a little nod before he moves his free hand to the drawstring of his sweatpants. Then you're quick to help him tug them down until his boxers are revealed to youâ a noticeable dampness in the fabric right where his leaking tip is. Was that because of you?
Before you can dawn on your own questions, Sukunaâs moving to tug his cock out. And fuck is he even bigger revealed before your eyes. With an upward curve, such an angry flushed tip, precum dripping from the slit of his fat cockhead, veins decorating his shaft and-
Shit, you were drooling. Howâd you get like this again?? Ah, who cares?
âSukuna,â You breathe out, ripping your eyes away from his cock just to look up at him.
He was almost panting, dark maroon eyes pouring down into yours, face flushed with different shades of red and pink, his lips parted softlyâ hell, he looked like he was in heat or something.
Gulping before he answers you, Sukuna clears his throat and his voice is already husky, âWhat?â
You shift against the floor, your hands relaxing against his large thighs, âCan I-â
âYeah,â He cuts off. Lord knows if you got that question out he was going to lose his damn mind.
You raise a brow and lean forward, keeping your eyes on his while your lips near his tip, âYeah?â
The last thing you get from him is a nod before youâre parting your lips. And from that moment forward, it all goes downhill. Everything from the way youâre sitting in between his legs to that initial connection of your plush lips against his drooling cock had Sukunaâs mind spinning.
Heâs never been sucked off before. Hell, the farthest heâs gone as far as sexual activities are concerned is a little bit of dry humping. But this? Oh hell, this was his first time and he had zero idea how he was going to keep that information away from you.
Especially when he feels your tongue slip from between your lips and swirl around the head of his cock, kittenly lapping up that slim layer of precum sitting so prettily on his tip.Â
âOh f-fuuck,â Sukuna groans huskily, the hand on your head gripping tighter.
You pull away from him slightly just to take in his expression and the way he tosses his head back. It was almost cute to you. The last thing you expected was for him to be so damn sensitive, you hardly did anything.
His sensitivity only worsens as you finally start wrapping your lips around his cock, feeling him throb when you sink your mouth down on him. Sukunaâs jaw goes slack and his brows twist up. He tries his best to hold it in but he canât help but moan at the way you leisurely suck on half of his lengthy cock.
Your saliva wets up the rest of his shaft and you make up for what your mouth hasnât reached yet with your hand, stroking him lightly whilst you take the rest of his girth in and out of your mouth. Rolling your tongue around him, pulling off just to messily spit and kiss on his blushing tip, and slobbering all over himâ Sukuna almost fucking kicked something with how good your mouth felt around him.
Heâs used his hand and other shit before but holy fuck, nothing, and he means nothing compares to that damn mouth of yours. The way you look with his cock stuffed right in between those lips heâs been staring at for God knows how longâ your lips all slick with spit, eyes rolling back the deeper you take him, and tongue sticking out every time you pull your mouth off of him.
You soon slip your mouth off of him and start jerking him off, focusing your tongue on his tip and slithering the wet muscle in between the slit of his cock, lathering your tongue up with his glistening precum.Â
The sound of Sukuna groaning makes you look up at him, finding his eyes on yours again. Heâs panting, trying his best to look like this wasnât phasing him but failing in every way with how flushed his face was.Â
Your tongue sticks out and your hand continues to slide up and down his cock as you tap his tip on your tongue, making his brows twist up.Â
He bites back a throaty sound, âHah⊠damn brat,â Sukuna huffs out as if to⊠degrade you?Â
You almost find it cute how clearly inexperienced he is, spitting a fat wad of spit onto his pretty wet tip and then smiling at him, âSukuna,â You coo, your hand gripping his shaft tighter, âIs this your first time?â
He instantly looks off to the side, the veins in his neck and along his jawline tensing as he grits his teeth. Since he decides to ignore your little question, you take it a step further and slide your hand down his cock, gripping his thick base firmly before taking him into your heavenly warm mouth again.
His expression breaks completely, âOh shit,â Sukuna moans, his hips bucking up into your mouth as you slide him deeper into your mouth than you did before.
Then his hand is pushing your head down further on instinct and heâs subtly rutting his hips up. You lift your head up despite his constant pushing, soon causing your head to bob up and down whilst you suck him off skillfully.
âJusâ like that,â Sukuna suddenly groans and you moan around his cock in reaction. To which he keeps giving your mouth mindless little thrusts, âDonât s-, agh, stop.â
Sucking him deeper and deeper before you move your hand completely, you suck in a deep breath of air through your nose, open up the very back of your throat, and sink all the way down, your lips meeting his pelvis as your eyes roll to the back of your head.
Sukuna kicks something. Probably your coffee table with the way one of his legs extends out so suddenly, a choked-out groan ripped from his throat as your little move was all it took for him to cum. And itâs so much too, hot thick ropes of cum spurting down your throat, his hand holding onto your head for dear life whilst a moan of your name rolls off his tongue.
Youâre still sucking too, pulling up only to swallow what heâs gifted you and then stick your tongue out. Laying it flat against his tip, you leisurely lick at him as if to beg for more and now the manâs pushing your head away for the first time.
When you lift your eyes up to him again, you notice heâs got his tattooed arm over his mouth and his lashes are batting softly at you. For such a big man, he was so ridiculously cute right now. Panting, sweating, cursing under his breath as if you couldnât hear him.
âYeah,â Sukuna utters suddenly, clearing his throat, âThat was⊠my first⊠time. I uh-â
âDo you want more?â Is the last thing you asked him before you were sitting back on your heels and he was stumbling to his feet.
You had to guide him through it of course but, Sukuna doesnât hesitate to stuff your face full of his cock again. You take him so kindly too, obediently sitting there with your hands gripping his thighs for support with every careful thrust of his hips.
He was trying to be gentle with you at first. Partially because he didnât know what the hell he was doing, and also because he just loved the initial entry into your mouth. Over and over, Sukuna slid his dick in and out of your mouth like he was possessed, addicted to the feeling of you greedily sucking on him.
He was still sensitive from his first orgasm but his cock had yet to go downâ twitching inside that sloppy mouth of yours, aching against your tongue, and dripping into the depths of your throat. Sukuna wasnât much of a talker but he damn sure let out a plethora of grunts and groans.
They were so husk too, coming from deep within his chest, some getting caught in his throat when he felt your tongue flick against a specific vein on the underside of his cock. His fat tip knocked into the back of your throat with a single heavy thrust before his hands were latching onto the sides of your head.
Again, heâs not much of a talker but, something seems to come over him all at once because soon heâs got his gaze locked down on the messy sight of you and heâs huffing out words before he realizes. âEyes up here, câmon, hah⊠look at me,â Sukuna grunts.
Your eyes are completely glossed over as they flutter up to him. A moan vibrates against his skin as you make such intimate eye contact with the man, feeling his hips pick up.
Sukuna nods, âGood girl,â He praises in a low purr, and fuck does that do wonders for you because your legs are squeezing together more than they were before and youâre whining against him. âFuck, yâlike that?â He huffs, earning a sloppy lilâ nod from you.
He then feels you hum, âM-Mhm.â And heâs got chills slipping up his spine in pleasure.
Cracking a lazy, lopsided, and almost fucked-out little smirk, Sukuna scoffs, âYeah? Fuck, behind all those g-glares ând-, agh, scolding me⊠this is all you wanted, hm? A throat full of cock?â
His words had you whining again, fluttering your lashes at him as your fingertips dug into his thighs a little. Sukuna eases his hips back slowly, tipping his head to the side as he gently caresses the side of your face with his thumb.
âMessy girl,â He hums deeply, biting his lower lip at the way youâre just drooling for more and more as he pulls himself out of your mouth completely. âJusâ look at this face,â Sukuna chuckles, âYâlook like a slut cryinâ like thatâ itâs cute.â
Blinking, you hadnât even realized you had a tear or two sliding down your face. Your mouth remains open for a second before he moves to rub his tip against your plump lips, smearing your spit and his cum all over the damn place with a little grin on his face.
ââKunaâŠâ You whisper, earning a quirk of his brow, âI canât believe youâre a virg-â
âDonât finish that sentence,â He grunts, moving a thumb to your chin to widen how open your mouth is for him, âJusâ⊠keep sittinâ there lookinâ pretty fâme,â Sukuna says.
You roll your eyes at him and all he can do is smile, pushing his hips forward again and easing his cock in between your lips. He slides in slowly until you can feel him pressing right against the back of your throat. To which he keeps himself there for a second, testing that gag reflex of yours and watching your eyes water.
Moving his hand back to the top of your head, he buries his fingers in your hair, âSo fuckinâ sexy like this,â Sukuna compliments, feeling you moan in response, âMâgonna cum again, stay j-just like that,â He breathes out heavily, his eyes rolling to the back of his skull before heâs throwing his head back.
And as if to coax his orgasm out, you carefully move a hand to cup his balls, sucking on his cock as best as you can and earning an accidental sound from his throat. The second your palm is felt against him, the moment he feels your tongue slicking against him, Sukuna whines.
Then his thighs are tensing and heâs groaning loudly as if to cover up the sound that just left his lips, filling your throat with his seed and then tugging your mouth off of him with a quick pull of your head. Youâre quick to swallow for yet a second time, letting out a needed cough after the fact while he stumbles back just a bit, his calves hitting the couch.
âVixen,â Sukuna growls.
You clear your throat and send a smile his way, âNot my fault you cum easy.â
Sukunaâs slow to sit back down on the couch to catch his breath, âTell anyone about this ând Iâll-â
âOh,â You suddenly purr, cutting him off as you lift yourself up from the ground. He watches with slightly widened eyes as you move to straddle him, âDonât tell me you thought we were done?â
Heâs at a loss for words all over again, his confidence suddenly getting caught in his throat and flying out the window. Your hands slip to his broad shoulders and you lean forward a little.
Sukunaâs hands shakily find their way to your waist as he stares up at you, âYou want more?â
You smirk, tilting your head at the dumbfounded male, âDonât you?â You ask in a sultry little whisper, making his sensitive cock twitch once more. âAt the very leastâŠâ Your lips slowly near his and heâs losing his breath, âTaste yourself, Sukuna.â
And then your lips are on his and heâs taking your tongue into his mouth. His grip on your waist tightens before he pulls you flush against him, feeling your crotch press right against his cock thatâs steadily twitching back to life.
The two of you share a heated and messy kiss, your hips carefully swaying against him to encourage his returning arousal. You canât really use curiosity as an excuse anymore, can you?
Well, you can. And you do with the way your hands slide down to his chest, your fingers slipping over his nipples to find exactly what youâd been curious about. You flick your fingers over his piercing there and Sukuna lets out a low hiss, prying his lips from yours and sending you a glare.
Not only did that little move of yours make his cock spring up completely but, you also notice the frown on his face.
Smiling at him, âSukunaâŠâ
âDonât.â He huffs.
âYou have nipple piercings?â You end up asking anyway in a happy little tone.
He grits his teeth slightly, ââŠObviously.â
Chuckling, you press a soft peck against his lips and whisper, âCan I see them?â
âNo.â He replies.
Part two.
#sukuna#sukuna smut#smut#sukuna ryomen#ryomen sukuna#jjk ryomen#jujutsu kaisen ryomen#jjk smut#anime smut#sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#sukuna ryoumen x reader#sukuna ryoumen smut#sukuna ryoumen x you#jjk#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk x reader smut#jjk x y/n#jjk x you smut#ryoumen sukuna#jjksmut#jujutsu kaisen smut
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Guy: telling me I'm pretty, my different body parts are nice etc
Me: hey your pants look good on you. Your... I like your pants!
#miranda talking shit#Idk why I'm like this but I do very much like his pants? His legs look nice in them so I've told him three times#Sorry I don't find physical stuff very attractive and you don't have brown eyes so I won't be crying over them /:#Hey my name is Miranda and I haven't had someone openly attracted to me and desiring me since I was 15 and idk how to handle it#Wh... You want to f me? You want to touch me? Wh... What? For real? No fooling??#In my world I am at best.... Avarge and someone who people can look past. At worst I'm an disgusting creature that make people sick and no#One wants to touch. And now this dude is here like lawl actually... Yeah.#I know it's nothing special blah blah men just want one thing but uh#I've never in my life stood in an male gaze... And I'm like đł?! Me?!
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