#bc of multiple reasons i explained back to her and she gets it but like. i dont have anything left in me to give and she knows that | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ssivinee · 1 year ago

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✧Wounded Heart✧

Part 1 | Part 2

BEBE! Bada Lee x F Reader: You've always been known as the smartest student in school, while Bada was known as the campus heartthrob and player. She decides to take advantage of her situation, but puts your heart on the line along with her passing grade.

Word Count: 9.2k

TW: Slight self harm

Note: This is the longest fic I've written so far😮‍💨. I felt so evil writing this, but I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY THE ANGST😈. ALSO, please check out my new rule. If not, it just warns blogs with no pfps and reblogs. I have a high chance of soft-blocking you, as I may get shadowbanned bc Tumblr can't defer you from bots.

Character Vision Board

You were never one to gain any attention from anyone. Frankly, you liked it that way.

Known as the most reserved yet nerdiest student in school, you were never called by your name. How could anyone put a name to your face when no one knew what it was. People had only given you the title of top student in university.

Most people knew of your existence, but by always wearing your oversized hoodie over your head, glasses, and mask, you kept your identity a secret amongst your peers. You survived high school like this, so being in your final year of university and still being able to maintain it was a breeze.

It was a regular Monday morning, and you sat in the library before classes, trying to freshen up on your Physics lesson yesterday. You woke up at 6 a.m. to get ready, showered, and ate breakfast with an energy drink before heading out to the library. That was your daily routine, the loner lifestyle, if you will.

As you typed away on your computer, the buzz of other students started coming in waves at 9 a.m., hitting the clock. That meant it was time to head to your first class. After multiple hours of classes, hand-cramping notes, and sitting in the back of every subject, you headed to your favorite class, computer science. For some reason, your brain was highly advanced in this area, making it enjoyable.

30 minutes go by, and just sitting in the back of the class, a tall, nonchalant figure walks in. You visibly see your teacher's face contort as she rolls her eyes at the student. The notorious Bada Lee came in late once again. You believed she began to do it on purpose at this point, as she stopped giving excuses for her tardiness by the second week.

The thought certainly loitered in the back of your mind. You never understood why Bada was the way she was. This was one of the few classes with several options, so if you wanted to avoid taking it, you had multiple other choices. Yet, even being late every day, she showed up and did the work.

Maybe not to the best of her abilities, but she still did it.

There were a few things to note about Bada. She was captain of the school's basketball team and had a distasting reputation. The campus player and heartbreaker. It felt as though, every week, there was new drama surrounding a girl whose heart got broken by the tall student, and it always made you want to roll your eyes every single time. Never understanding why these girls chased and chased, even when knowing their situationships wouldn't be the way it was from their fantasies.

Nearing the end of the class, everyone was getting ready to leave, but the Professor stopped anyone from going further. "Before you leave, I want to discuss the upcoming midterm project."

She pulls up the presentation on the board and explains, "This project requires you to make an updated website for the school. The requirements will be posted online by the end of the day, and I will assign you a partner for this. The highest grade will have their website be used as the new official website for our school. This will be due a month from now."

Everyone becomes surprised and happy at the prize for their upcoming trials. Your professor begins to list the names, and she gets to you, "Baek Y/n... and Bada Lee." Your heart sank instantly at those words.

You grumble with your head down. Out of all the people in the class, you got stuck with the one who'd rather mess with a girl at any chance she had.

Bada sits in her seat, brows furrowed. Who the fuck was Baek Y/n?

Bada knew almost everyone, but she'd never heard of that name. That's when the Professor lets everyone go, and she sees a girl walk up to the teacher. You wore the gigantic hoodie, and Bada couldn't see your face, but with all the gestures you gave your teacher, you seemed like you weren't pleased about something. When she hears you huff in annoyance, and your eyes meet hers while leaving, she sees anger bubbling behind them.

Bada gets up, confused, and heads over to the teacher. "Professor Min, who was that?"

"That was your partner Baek Y/n. You've heard of the top student before, right?" Her eyes double at the older man's words, and her face becomes extremely happy. She would undoubtedly be using this to her advantage.

"Now, don't think of trying to get the girl to do all the work, Bada. I'm allowing you to bring up your grade with this project." She nods furiously before heading out to tell her friends the news.

She sees them over at their school's common room, and her friends, Aiki, Noze, Lee Jung, and Emma, give her weird looks like Bada grew three heads. "Now, why is she cheesing now?" Aiki asks, and the taller girl replies with a smack to her arm.

"You guys won't believe who my partner is for my computer science project."

The four girls looked at each other and began naming several popular girls. Bada rolls her eyes at her friend's antics. "Well, you wanna tell us? We named like half the girls already." Noze says.

"Baek Y/n."

...

"Baek, who now?" Lee Jung looks at her in amusement, but your title shocks them, "Top Student." Their eyes grow wide. The group looked around the room to see if they could find you. "Her name is Baek Y/n?" Emma confirms, "She's in my class, so I'm pretty sure that's her name."

"Well, if you don't ace that project, she must hate you." Lee Jung jokes, making Bada think, "Truth be told, she didn't seem too happy about being my partner either."

"We wouldn't be happy either." "Can't blame her."

They kid around, but Aiki tells the girl, "You better stay on her good side. I'm sure if you don't do the work, she'll find a way to ensure you don't have a shared grade." "True, she's always been partnered with smarter kids, so she's never had an issue, but knowing you? You’re gonna need to play nice girl this time, Bada."

Bada scoffs at Emma's words, "She'll do the work by herself whether she likes it or not. Besides, I'm on everyone's good side." She shows a cocky grin, but Emma and Lee Jung specifically can't help but doubt her. "I don't know about this one. Doesn't seem like an easy girl to get through."

"Nah, have some faith in our girl," Noze says, patting Bada's hip. "Wanna bet on it?" Bada says, with pure confidence backing her up. "I get her to fall for me, and you owe me a month of doing all my assignments." Lee Jung smirks at the girl, "Deal."

"So when are you gonna start?" Noze asks as she eats her chips. "Not sure. Definitely not tonight, though. I'm seeing Redy after practice." All her friends roll their eyes at the girl's name, finding her ignorance ever so bothersome.

The next morning, you find yourself in the same spot as usual and have begun the project already. Bada finds herself looking for you on campus and figures, where do all nerds hang out?

The library.

She makes her way over, and as she enters, she automatically finds you in the corner of the large hall. "Hey there, partner," She greets, and you look at her dead in the eyes, "What are you doing here?" Your tone ached in annoyance.

"Come on, don't be like that. I want actually to try on this project."

"Fine. Let me ask you this first. Why are you even in computer science?" You were straightforward, your serious demeanor never fading. Bada is surprised by your daring question but never trembles, "I just thought it would be interesting." An irked scoff is heard from behind your mask, "Yeah, right," was said with an eye roll. Well, this is gonna be harder than she thought.

"I'm being serious. I wanna earn the grade as well." She whines slightly, and your eyes cry disgust. "Give me your number, and we can work on the project at my house after basketball practice." You grumble and slouch in your chair, and Bada, unconsciously, finds the position adorable as your oversized hoodie collapses on your body, "Sure," is all you mumble, not wanting any more trouble than there already was.

Bada grins as you write your information down on a purple post-it note and shows her excitement when you hand it over to her. You sat there as she left the library, wondering what she had planned for you. It wasn't like Bada to talk to nobodies to "do work." Yet the sooner you had this project done, the better you took her words with a grain of salt, hoping she was being at least a little truthful with her words.

You weren’t one to trust many people’s words, particularly from individuals like Bada, but you knew it had to be done for the sake of your grade. A hefty sigh leaves your body, and you try to go about your day without going too deep into it. During your last period, you feel your phone buzz and read an unexpected message.

Bada Meet me after practice at 5 PM at the gym. I’ll give you a ride so we can work on the project.

The recurring disdain takes over your face again as you read. You hate that you even had contact with the girl, so you just leave her on read as you remind yourself about the meeting. You would just have to wait for her, deciding to go to the school's garden as you let time pass. On the other end of campus, Bada stares at her phone in dismay, “Did she just leave me on read?” She mumbles to herself, and her fellow co-captain hears the uncommon words from the latter’s mouth. “Someone leaving the queen Bada on read? You don’t hear that every day,” Haechi tells the girl, and Bada sneers at the comment. “She’s just playing hard to get for now. Trust, she’ll fall for me by the end of the week.”

“Who is it anyways?” Haechi questions. “Baek Y/n,” she simply states, and the other’s eyes widen. “Like top student Baek Y/n?” Bada looks at her in confusion, “You know her?”

The latter shrugs, “We went to the same high school. She’s a sweet girl,” she adds, and Bada’s curiosity grows. “Sweet? Do you even know what she looks like?” “Nope, but if you care about your grades, she’ll notice and help you, even if you're struggling.”

Haechi was one of the few popular students in university who focused on her grades, so her statement wasn’t so out of the blue. “Know anything else about her?” Haechi briefly considers the inquiry, “She really likes energy drinks, from what I remember. She always drank the blue Monster cans.” But there was a slight hesitation in the co-captin’s voice.

“I know how you are, Bada, so I’m aware I can’t stop you from your plans, but try not to do too much damage to the girl. She’s too precious to be broken by someone like you,” Haechi tells her, and despite the brutal words, Bada doesn’t take it to heart, almost shoving it out of her mind.

“Don’t worry. I won’t.”

The practice continues for hours before Bada notices your small figure sitting on the bleachers, waiting for the little time left. She jogs her way over to you with a bashful smile, “Hey, let me just change, and we can head out.” You just nod, wanting to get out fast, but Haechi’s familiar face has your eyes smiling. “Y/n-nie! Long time no see,” she opens her arms, and you gladly hop down to hug her. Bada watched the interaction, not knowing how to react to this side of you. You looked overjoyed to see the girl, and she may not be able to see your face, but the new energy made her feel a sense of loss.

She didn’t understand why you favored Haechi but not her. They were both tall, popular basketball team captains and had similar recognition in school. The only thing Haechi had over Bada was her straight A’s in classes. Was that the thing that would get you to like her? Bada grumbled at the concept. She wasn’t failing or anything, or else she couldn’t play on the team, but ALL her grades were not close to par with Haechi’s, not even a little bit. When her attention returns to the two of you, she sees you handing a new water bottle to Heachi, who thanks you. “You two seem close,” she tells them, and her co-captain looks at you almost with cherishing eyes. “Y/n’s the best man. Helped me a lot throughout high school,” you wave your hands in denial. “Heachi, you did your best in high school with or without my help. You’re hard-working,” your voice appears in a softer tone. Bada wanted to roll her eyes hard, but she left you two to change.

Bada wasn’t jealous, but maybe being narked was the better way to express her feelings. The girl was the type of person to feel better and superior to everyone else, so the fact that Haechi was already on your good side had her deep in her cycling thoughts. She needed to work hard to get this version of you, and not just with the project.

When she finishes, she tells you to go with her, and you hug Haechi before leaving the court and going to the parking lot with Bada. As she drove, she tried to make some conversation. “You started the project, right?” “Yeah.”

“You might have to teach me a few things so I can actually help.” “Sure.”

“You like computer science?” “Yup.”

That. That was the substance you gave Bada after every question. It made her want to jump out of the moving car, her ego bruised by your one-word replies. She stops trying after 10 minutes, letting the silence overwhelm you two, and you couldn’t have been any happier with the lack of sound. The car pulls up to this large mansion, and you try to hide your awe. This house was huge. Probably being able to hold the capacity of 200 students. “Come on in,” she invites with the large open door.

When you entered, your eyes marveled at the marble architecture, the classical aesthetic being the prominent feature of the house. Bada then leads you to the living room, where you sit timidly on her couch. “Do you want anything to drink?” She asks you as your eyes still wander the house. “Um, I’m ok.”

“Well, let me just change before we start,” you nod, taking out your laptop and notebook, trying to get a bit comfortable for your peace of mind. You pull up the empty website domain with only your school's colors and a sleek banner that takes up a decent amount of the screen. After 10 minutes, Bada returns with gray basketball shorts and a tight wife beater as her top. Your eyes go up and down her figure before focusing on the monitor.

You were honest, and as much as you didn’t understand Bada’s playgirl mentality, you did understand her appeal to the female population in school. Her tall figure, the varieties of colors she’d use on her long hair that cascaded all the way down to her waist, and the hats she wore to hold a sense of mystery were the perfect formula for the way to a girl’s heart.

“So what should I do?” Bada says, sitting beside you, which had you scoot in the opposite direction. “We can split the parts. Professor Min already put up the criteria for the website. I can do the harder stuff like navigation, school history, subjects, majors, and minors.” You tell her as you view the recent handout your professor had put up. “That’s too much, no? All I’d have left is the decorating, department information, and help desk information. Why don’t I help you with the major and minors?” You look at her with bewildered eyes, “You sure? A lot of coding and linking goes into that?” The taller one nods confidently, “You just have to teach me, and I’m sure I’ll be able to do it.” You nod with some hesitation.

“How about we start brainstorming the website's theme, and we can start with the project next week?”

“Sure, but why next week? My practices always end at 5-6 PM, so we should have time.” You shake your head, “it’s not because of you. I'm just gonna be busy with the school council this week.” And Bada looks at you in surprise, “Your part of the school council?”

“Yeah, but I’m just the secretary. Since the sports events are around the corner, I have to oversee everybody and their work,” you explain. Bada feels the admiration brewing inside her. She was aware of your hardworking nature, well, everyone was. You were the top student for a reason, but this put you on a different playing field. On top of your multiple studies, you did your due diligence as a prominent figure on their school council.

“Well, why aren’t you the president?” You scoffed, following a pity laugh, “Bada, I can’t lead anyone to save my life.” She stares at you, not understanding your point, and you take notice. “I might be smart, but that doesn’t mean I have leadership skills.”

“Maybe I can help you,” the tall girl shrugs. She thought she was a good captain for her team, so with that credit, she could give you pointers. “It’s fine. I like my position. I get to help everyone.” The two of you let the time pass as you continued to work on the project before ending the night.

The next few days, you had a lot on your plate. You were running around the school, ensuring all the projects and events were being set up properly, writing reports, and then reporting to the president and vice president about overseeing.

During this time, Bada rarely saw you in class, and she thought about how busy you’d be. You weren’t lying, huh.

But on a Thursday afternoon, you watched the gym setup and saw Bada’s little group chilling on the bleachers. Another student, Doyoung, walks in with papers stacked in his hands. It was all the papers you needed to sign and read through, but a basketball flew in his direction before he could reach you. His head throbs as he drops the papers, and you see Bada’s groupies laughing as Bada yells, “Sorry, Do-ah, the ball slipped out my hands,” she says as she collects the ball and returns to the bleachers. You ran over to the boy, helping him get the papers and helping him up. “Doyoung? Are you okay?” You help the boy up, and he stares at you, dizziness coating his face. You glare at Bada, who catches a glimpse of your raging eyes, and she realizes her fuck up in an instant.

“Come on, let me take you to the nurse,” you say as you grab his arm, wrapping it around your shoulders. “Shit,” Bada says as she watches the two of you leave, you having the stacks of heavy paper sticking out of your bag. “Looks like your timing is off this time,” Noze teases, and Bada thinks she has to make it up to you. She ran out of the gym, trying to catch up to you. She found you settling Doyoung on the nurse's bench as you explained what happened, and to avoid punishment, she waited for you to leave the office before she could talk to you.

Walking out, you make eye contact with the basketball player and scoff at the sight. You tried to walk past her, but she stopped you, pulling your arm, “Y/n, wait.” You rip your arm away, feeling grossed out by her touch. “Did you feel cool?” You bluntly ask, and Bada is taken aback at your tone. “No, that’s not it-”

“Then what is it, Bada? It doesn’t take much to be nice, but it sure does take a lot of energy to be as rude as you.” The disappointment felt like knives to Bada’s heart. It felt like the same judgment she got from her parents, and now you were saying it to her? It made her want to suffocate six feet under. “I just wanted to be funny. I didn’t mean to hurt him. I’m sorry,” she mumbles as her head hangs low. “That apology shouldn’t be for me, asshole. Apologize to Doyoung,” you tell her, leaving her where she stands as you are still much to do. “Doyoung-ah, just text me later when you get home,” the younger boy nods, and you return to your busy day.

“Dude, I apologized to Doyoung yesterday, and she still hasn’t texted me anything about the project,” Bada tells her friends as she paced back and forth. “I don’t see what the big deal is,” Aiki says, and Bada looks at her in distress. “It’s a big deal 'cause I need that A to play in that prelims.”

“Maybe give her something to make it up to her?” Lee Jung suggests that Bada’s eyes grow at her words, remembering Haechi’s words. “The blue Monster,” she gasps, and her friends look at her weirdly as she runs off campus. Bada went to the convenience store, buying a can of Monster energy drink, some cookies, and an egg sandwich. It was early morning, so she knew she’d find you in the library at your usual spot.

Instead of being on your laptop this time, your eyes never left the papers you read and signed. Not even noticing her presence, Bada drops the bag lightly on the desk and pushes it in your direction. You look up, see the girl’s sorry face, and check the inside of the bag. “What’s this?”

“My apology to you for being a dick. I also apologized to Doyoung yesterday, so I’m in the clear.” You roll your eyes and sigh heavily, “Why are you like this, Bada?” Now she was confused, “What do you mean?”

“You're capable of being nice to people like me, so why can’t you do it to others?” Because other people won't help my grade, Bada thought. “I’m not sure,” Bada acts, trying to look ashamed. “But I know I’ll try my best to change,” she says, that confident smile taking place on her face again.

So, during the next few weeks, you worked with Bada. She did her best to show you the better version of herself. Yes, she was acting initially, but as time passed, she got comfortable with the routines. She attended classes earlier, paid attention, participated, and even studied. The week after the altercation, Bada had asked you to tutor her in certain subjects, and you gladly accepted, liking the direction of her change.

So, the two of you sat in her home on a Friday afternoon after school, and you were working on your chemistry assignments. You had become comfortable in the setting after working at her home a few times. “Y/n-ah, help me with this long-ass formula. It's confusing.” You giggle at the pout on her lips and check the screen. “The prefix is hepta- and check out the periodic table for the names.” You point to the table of chemical symbols, and Bada begins to understand the list of prefixes on the coffee table.

You continued your work and studied the current topic you guys were on. Bada looked at you, wondering, “I hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable, but why do you always wear a mask?” You pause, not expecting the surprise question. “It just makes school go by faster. Drama-free too,” you express, and Bada rolls her eyes. “But it’s just you and I here.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that it makes my life easy,” you state. “Look, tomorrow, when you come over for the project, come without the mask, please?” You look at her in confusion, wondering why she was pressing on so much. But seeing her giving you puppy eyes, you reluctantly agreed, “Fine.”

“Great! Now help me with this question, please?” You laugh at her struggle.

The next day, you woke up to prepare for the long day. You took a shower, did your everyday skincare, and ensured you looked presentable. You were much more alert about your looks when you didn't wear the mask. You wanted to feel confident and ensured you did when applying the lip oil and putting your hair in a high ponytail.

You took an Uber to Bada’s place and rang the doorbell. When Bada opens the door, she takes in your appearance. You were out of your uniform for once, and the hairstyle displayed your small face clearly. Bada looks at you fondly, not expecting such a pretty girl to hide behind the mask daily. Even with the glasses on, your eyes looked large, and your heart-shaped lips colored bright pink. The tall girl couldn’t pull her eyes away from your lips. They looked too juicy not to kiss.

“Are you gonna let me in, or should I just stay out here?” Bada shakes her thoughts away and moves to the side. “So you were hiding this the entire time?” She asks as she pats your head, and you swat her hand away. “You practically begged for this.”

“And I’m not complaining,” She continues, staring at you, “go to school like this man.” “Okay, it was one thing asking me to come to your house like this, but school? Never happening.” You tell her, settling your bag down on the couch. “Wait, we should work in my room today. My parents are gonna be home today.”

She leads you into her room, the cool gray walls blinding your eyes. You observe your surroundings, surprised to see the clean room. She puts your bag on the office chair and lets you sit on her bed. You began to talk about what you’ve done on the project, but as you talked, Bada wasn’t even concerned about your words, focusing on your body more. Your outfit made Bada want to have you moaning underneath her, chest rising up and down as you begged for more.

“Bada?” You check on her worryingly. “Yes?” She whispers, still not staring at your face. “Have you done the majors and minors?” “I finished the majors, but I’m still working on the minors,” she tells you, clearly still entranced. “Can you show me?”

“Oh, um, yeah,” She shakes her head and takes her laptop out, showing the work she had completed, and you were visibly pleased with the progress. “This is actually really good. Nice job,” your validation had her heart swelling as your grin held a tint of pride. “Maybe you can finish up the minors today? Just so your work goes by faster.” She nods and checks out all the work you’ve done as well. “You finished all of these? That fast?” She stares at the screen, astonished by the amount of stuff you did the past two weeks. “Anything that needs to be done on a computer, I can do in a quick flash,” you joke, but it holds some sincerity. “I’m trying to be like you, girl,” She comments, and you laugh.

“Let’s do this so we don’t have much left to do next week.” With those words, the two of you worked the entire day. By the next time you checked the time, you realized the hours passed quickly. “Damn, it’s already 4 PM?” This also makes Bada check her phone, “Oh, your right. You want something to eat?” “I wouldn’t mind that actually.”

The two of you enter her kitchen, and Bada heated up some leftover Chinese food she had left in the fridge. Once you guys were eating, Bada tried to get to know you more, finding your presence comforting. “So, Y/n, why do you work so hard in school?” Your mind malfunctions at the question, unsure if you should be honest with the girl. “Um~,” you start, slowly picking at your food. “It’s mainly for my mom. My dad left us for his other family when I was five, and she raised me all by herself. This is the only way to give her a good life after everything she has gone through.” Your voice said with a hint of sadness, and Bada watched your pretty face fall. You wiped away the slight tears that formed. “You’re a good person, Y/n. Never forget that,” She tells you, and you find your heart racing at the words. Bada never had this effect on you, but her words of encouragement made your day.

She was about to continue the conversation, but another tall, more mature woman walked in the room, eyes looking cautiously at the sight of you. “Bada,” she called your partner's name, and you look surprised at Bada’s figure. She straightened herself up, fixing her appearance slightly. “Mother.”

“Who is this?” The older woman’s hand points over in your direction, and before Bada can answer, you decide to try and please the stern woman. “My name is Baek Y/n mam. I’m Bada’s partner for our computer science project. It’s nice to meet you.” You bow at the woman, and her eyebrows raise at your politeness. “Good manners, proper style, pretty face, excellent speaker,” her mom states, as her gaze moves around your body. “You should be more like this, Bada.”

“Mom, not in front of her, please,” Bada’s voice goes small, and you regret speaking up. “What? It’s true. Instead of basketball, you should be a model student. I should thank your teacher for partnering you up with this young woman.”

“I don’t know how we failed to raise you. This is how you should’ve turned out,” The older woman goes to your side, using her two hands to present you as if you were a presentation. Bada’s feelings were in a whirlwind. She wasn’t sure if she could be mad at you, her mom, or just the world. Her mom wasn’t even wrong. You were perfect in every way, and she was the disappointment. Two different worlds were crossing paths, and she was beginning to wish she was partnered with another individual instead of you.

Your eyes grow at her mother’s harsh words, and you shake your head, moving away from the woman. She wasn’t even aware of Bada’s new changes and efforts the last few days, but she belittled her daughter. “Madam, with all due respect-”

“Y/n. Don’t,” The tall girl tells you, with a stern voice, her breathing going shaky. “You right, mother. I’ll do better,” Bada says, head hanging low as she walks past the two of you. “What a dramatic girl,” You hear her mom telling herself, and you do your best not to ridicule the woman. “I’ll go check up on her,” you bow and run up to Bada’s room, finding the door shut. When entering, her back was turned to you as she sat on the edge of her bed. You were about to reach out on her shoulder but halted when you heard the sniffles as they gradually grew heart-wrenching. You rush to Bada’s side without any reluctance, pulling her into a hug. The warmth engulfing Bada had her break down instantly, never having anyone hold her as you did. Your eyes teared up at the sounds of her hyperventilating, her grip on your shoulder becoming tighter.

You then thought this was such a common occurrence for Bada. She put up this facade in school, wanting the attention of other women, and finally understood where it all stemmed from. Bada just wanted to feel loved and longed for, but with a household like this, it felt so hard to even ask for. She shouldn’t even have to ask. It was her mother, after all.

“Bada, you’re doing your best. Don’t let your mom’s words take that away from you.” You whisper as you rub her back, “If you ever want to talk, you can always talk to me.”

Bada begins to calm down at your words, the shakiness in her voice fading away. “Thank you, Y/n-ah.” She whispers, leaving her head on your shoulders. She wavers and asks, “Can you come to my game on Friday?”

“Of course. I’ll be your personal cheerleader,” you quip, in a shot to make her feel better, which works when a cheesing smile forms on her face. “You’d only cheer for me?” “Maybe for Haechi as well,” you tease, and she hits your arm with a pout. “Okay, ouch. I’ll cheer for you only, damn. No need to get violent on me.” Bada laughs at your words.

You try to stray from the topic, but you can’t help but ask, “Does she talk to you that way all the time?” Bada sighs, “Yeah, basically every time she’s home.” The lightbulb in your head flickers when she says, “My house may not be as extravagant as yours, but how about we work on the project on my house on Tuesday? I’ll send you my address, and you can come over after practice,” Bada’s eyes shined at the proposal. “I’d be honored.”

So the following Tuesday, you come home and relax on your bed before deciding to take a shower, feeling the stickiness of your sweat getting to you. You changed into a large baby pink shirt and some pajama shorts. Deciding to get a head start, you started your other assignments before Bada could get there. You worked on your easy English paper as you waited for the time to pass and heard the doorbell. Your eyes checked the time, and seeing 6 PM, you already knew who it was. You open the door to find Bada changed into gray sweatpants, an oversized hoodie, and one of her iconic hats covering her head. “Well, Miss Bada, welcome to my humble abode,” you say, welcoming her in. Bada’s eyes roam around, taking in the simplicity of the house, finding it shocking as she took a liking to it. “It feels… homey,” She mumbles, and you pat her shoulder. “I have more space in my room. Let’s work there.”

Bada’s eyes wander to your exposed thighs when going up the stairs. They looked so thick and plump. Bada, never realizing the build of your body, wanted to grip your thighs until they were turning red. Once you let her into your sacred space, Bada sees the tiny potted plants you kept, shelves full of books, your desk looking organized, and your twin-sized bed and pillows wrapped in a light purple set.

“So I have the navigation and research of the school's history. I might leave that research for next week to work on other subjects today.” Bada nods, settling on your bed and opening her laptop, “What other assignments do you have to do?”

“I’m trying to finish my English paper and then study for next week’s Chemistry exam.” “CHEM EXAM?” Bada yells, startling you into a jump. “Yes, Bada, chemistry exam.” Bada rubs the back of her neck, “Can you help me study?” You smile at her, “Of course.” The two of you finished the topics you agreed to do today, and Bada explained that she only had the decorating left. “Y/n?” You hear a voice coming from downstairs, and you smile, “Yes, mom?”

“Did you and your friend eat yet?” Bada is bewildered at the foreign voice. Your mom knew she was here? “We haven’t yet!” You voice out as you put your hair up in a messy bun. “Come down and eat. I made some mandu and kimchi jiigae,” Bada’s eyes brightened at the names of the food. You giggle at her face and pull her into the kitchen with you. Bada makes eye contact with your mom, and the woman gasps. “Y/n, you didn’t tell me how beautiful your friend was.”

“Mom, stop~,” you whine as you give her a welcoming hug. Bada smiles at your relationship with your mom. It is the exact opposite of what she was used to. “Let me help you with setting up the table?” Your mom handed you the plates and utensils, “get comfortable, Bada. You’re about to eat some of the best food ever,” You tell the tall girl, trying to tease your mom, who laughs at your comment. “Come on, sweaty, sit down,” Your mom tells the basketball player as she puts both dishes at the center of your table.

“How was school you two?” Bada almost chokes on her first bite of food as your mom asks, not used to the motherly love. “Oh dear, here, have some water, darling,” Your mom pours a glass as you pat Bada’s back. “I’m sorry. Um, school was alright, thank you for asking,” Bada says, mumbling, and you smile pityingly at your mom. “Same mom, nothing new.”

“That’s good!” She finishes, letting you all eat in peace. “Have you rested this past week, Y/n?” You grin at your mom’s question, “You know I try and stop doing work an hour before I go to bed, Mom.” “That doesn’t count.”

You sigh, “Don’t worry. I plan to go to Bada’s game on Friday, so I’ll take a break then.” Your mom gets excited, “Really? Good luck with your game. I hope you guys win!” Your mom was joyful, even with what had happened in the past, which made her your hero. “I hope we win too, Ms. Baek,” Bada gives an appreciating smile. “Oh, please call me mom. Any friend of Y/n can call me Mom. She rarely has any friends, so,” Your mom whispers her ending statement, and you roll your eyes at her. “Can we not expose Y/n? Thanks,” You say, pointing to yourself. The two smile at your gesture, and Bada teases you, “She’s not wrong.”

“Look at what you started, Mom!”

After you ate and studied with Bada, it was already 9 PM as you walked her out of your house. “You’re mom is the sweetest person on Earth,” Bada says, a sense of peace taking over her as she held the bag of food your mom had packed for her. “I know,” you giggle, knowing how your mom was. She accepted everyone and anyone as long as they treated you and her kindly.

“Thank you, Y/n. You’ve been helping me so much recently, and I don’t know how to pay you back,” she says, bringing you into the tightest hug. Your chest pounded, feeling a new overwhelming feeling of emotions. You knew that you and Bada had become closer in the past few weeks, but now you blushed at her touch, making you nervous.

There was no way you were starting to like her, right? You believed Bada was changing for the better. She had stopped flirting with so many girls, focused more on school, and acted as a more proper captain for her team. That’s what you thought, at least.

It was Thursday morning, before Bada’s game, and she was chilling on her hour break with the rest of her friends. “How has the project been going?” Emma asks with genuine interest. “It’s actually really good,” She simply states, and her friends stare at each other, unsure of how to go about her answer. “You remember our deal, right?” Lee Jung asks the taller, reminding her of her words two weeks ago. “Of course, I do,” Bada’s words felt like a harsh smack to the face. Her statement simmered in her mind like she was lying to herself.

Bada knew she was changing, and whether she would like to admit it or not, the thought scared her. It was because of you and only you. She was never meant to go this deep or even this far with your friendship. She couldn’t help herself, though. She shared tears with you, personal issues her friends didn’t even know about, and even bonding with your own mother. Feeling like a brand new person, Bada felt liberated and accomplished. Lately, she thought she could stick up to her parents, defending herself from their judgmental words. Last night, during their family dinner, Bada’s mother and father had some words for her again. “Bada, your grades better be good this semester, or you’ll be sent to military school.” Her father tells her in an eerie, monotone voice. Bada looks at them, sensing betrayal. “Do you guys even love me?” “What kind of question is that?” Her mom gazes at the girl, the cold look never leaving her gaze. “You haven’t even noticed the effort I’ve been putting in the last few days. Everything I do is never enough for the both of you.” Bada’s parents were taken aback at their daughter's sudden outburst. “Maybe if you were putting this much energy before, we wouldn’t have to say anything to you,” her father points out. “It’s because of that Y/n girl. I should thank her for you.” Bada grumbles at the authority, not wanting to hear the same crap repeatedly. “I understand I may not have been the best child. Trust me, I know. But maybe if you two showed even the tiniest bit of compassion and love, I wouldn’t have turned out this way.” That statement had both her parents shut up, letting her words brew in their minds.

“Bada,” she hears your voice, pulling her out of her thoughts, and everyone looks at you. Your eyes looked at them weirdly as they looked surprised at your presence. “Are you free on Sunday? I have things to do on Saturday, but we can probably finish the project by the end of this week.” She smiles at you, “No problem, we only have a little to go anyways. It shouldn’t take that long.”

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” you wave off, and Bada’s friends sat there, frozen at the exchange. “That might be the first time I’ve ever heard her voice,” Aiki says, hypnotized by your sweet voice. “I might have to snatch her up from you, Bada.” Noze kids, but Bada looks at her with stone-cold eyes, “No.”

Her friends sit there, unknowingly triggering something inside the tall girl. “It was just a joke, Bada, chill.” Lee Jung tells her as she shakes her head.

Emma looks at her, eyes growing at the assumption, “Are you falling for the girl?” Bada instantly looks at her like she’s crazy, “I just want to finish this project before you guys try anything,” she says, saving herself.

Being oblivious to Bada’s words, you were excited about her game tomorrow. Your outfit was planned. You had snacks and a Gatorade for Bada to drink during her match. Since Tuesday night, Bada had been running on your mind constantly, and you weren’t sure how to handle your feelings. It was the first time you were hardcore crushing on someone, and this project made it challenging to contain your emotions. Her presence, attention, and beauty had you fixated. Since this was a first for you, you wanted to slow it down, trying to navigate it as you went.

So when game day finally came, you wore your hair up in a sleek ponytail and wore an extra jersey that Bada had given you with the number 22. You paired it with some simple Air Forces and ripped baggy jeans. Keep up the mysterious facade. You had your black mask covering the lower half of your face. Everyone stared at you as you sat on the court, wondering what your relationship was with their school’s basketball captain. You only kept your eyes down, not enjoying the amount of attention you were getting.

Bada comes out from the locker room in full uniform and her eyes find your body, and an unconscious smile takes over her face. You looked adorable in the oversized jersey, and Bada just wanted to run up and hug you, but the game was starting soon, and the team had to warm up.

You space out, but the loud blaring of the alarm shocks you out of it. As a book-believing student, you weren’t familiar with the rules or how the sport worked, but Bada made it worthwhile. Bada was noticeably agile and had a massive amount of stamina compared to everyone on the court. As you watched and cheered after her every shot, a blonde girl noticed your attire. A scowl and a look of disgust replaced her cheers. You weren’t even aware of her, focusing on the tall girl the entire time.

When half-time took place, you handed Bada the drink you had prepared for her. Smiling at your gesture, she thanked you and sipped as their coach spoke to them.

The game started again, and as the timer was hitting the last few seconds, the score stood at 86-87, the score slim to the tee. Your heart beats anxiously as you watch Bada maneuver through the court. Haechi had passed the ball to her co-captain, and at 5 seconds, Bada had taken her chance at a three-pointer, and everyone held their breath as the ball spun around the rim. So when the ball fell in at the last second, all your school's students jumped and cheered at the epic finale. Bada looks over at you again, seeing your proud eyes on her. She blew a kiss at you, and you giggled as she celebrated with her team.

“Hey,” you hear her voice and turn around to see her sweaty figure, as her cheesing grin never leaves her face. “Wait for me at the parking lot? I’ll give you a ride home.” She offers, and you nod, pulling down your mask, not wanting to hide your thrilled face. “You were amazing out there, Bada.” The sincerity of your voice made Bada weak to her knees, and she felt giddy inside. “Thanks. I’ll see you in a bit, okay?” You nod, leaving the gym to the parking lot, where you wait, sitting on a bench. When Bada watches you go, she feels the butterflies in her stomach and stands there terrified. The girl started falling for you, the feelings piling up since your first study session. This couldn’t be happening. Bada’s pride wouldn’t let it happen, so she had to do something about it fast.

20 minutes had passed, and Bada still hadn’t come out. Worrying began to fill your mind. You kept checking your phone every minute, and the same anxiety overtook you. You decided to look for her, which honestly didn’t take long. You turned the corner of your school's building. You saw two figures holding each other tightly as they enthusiastically made out with each other.

Due to the darkness of the night, you squinted at the sight, but as it became clear, your heart broke into a million pieces, feeling like it was now dust. It was Bada and another girl. They pull away from each other, breathing heavily, and you hide behind the corner you turned from. “What about that other girl?” The unfamiliar voice asks. “What other girl?” “The girl wearing your jersey?” You swallowed lightly, your chest becoming heavy in your current position. “She’s no one, baby. Don’t worry about it. She was just a little bet.” You hear her, and you sob in silence, walking away from the detrimental scene that just occurred right in front of you.

You sit at the curb, staring at the stars, and laugh at yourself, “You’re so stupid, Y/n. So stupid,” you mumble, the tears getting harder to contain as Bada’s words repeat in your mind. Of course, you were just a bet for her. You were just another girl added to her collection, and it made you fall into despair. She cried to you and opened up, yet you were just another girl. You hit your head lightly in frustration with yourself. “Y/n?”

You jolt up from your spot, wiping your staining tears away, and turn around to find Haechi, who looks at you worried. “You okay?” You nod with a deep breath and huff, “Yeah, just feeling down right now. No biggy,” you try saving yourself, but the cracks in your voice tell the girl otherwise. “What are you still doing here-” She was about to ask but realized what may have happened since she saw Bada walking out with some blonde student from her Physics class. Haechi’s face was now painted sorrowfully, engulfing you in a hug. Her touch had triggered the waterworks again, and you were now crying again, breaths getting weaker when each tear dropped. “I’m so fucking stupid, Haechi. I hate her. I hate her so much,” the tall girl rubs your back, letting you release your anger and sadness. “Don’t say that Y/n-nie, you’re the smartest girl in school. Bada is just… ruthless.” Haechi states, some rage hiding under her voice. She had warned Bada, and the captain still went against her word. “I’m like every other girl, Haechi.”

The tall girl pulls away, shaking her head furiously, “No. No, you’re not. Come on, let me take you home.” You nod, too tired to say anything and sit in Haechi’s car, taking a nap on the way home as you wasted so much energy.

Bada was now trying to look for you everywhere, not noticing how long she took, keeping you waiting.

Bada Y/n? Where are you?

She waited for a response, but it never came. She began to worry but let the win of her game control her mind. An hour later, she was home, and you just got back to her.

Y/n-ah😚 My mom wanted me to go home early. Sorry.

Bada sighed in relief. At least you were safe at home. She was about to respond, but you texted her again.

Y/n-ah😚 About the project, don’t worry about it. I’m finishing it tonight and sending it to Professor Min tomorrow morning.

The tall girl furrows her brows.

Bada Are you okay?

Y/n-ah😚 Splendid.

Safe to say, Bada was terrified at your one-word answers. She felt back at square one, but little did she know she wasn’t even close. Not anymore.

The next time Bada saw you, you were both in school, and she approached you with your favorite drink. “My payment for last week,” she says, handing the drink to you, and you dismiss the interaction instantly. “I’m good,” you tell her and just walk away. Bada stares at you in confusion and is about to go after you but sees you standing at Haechi’s locker. From afar, her co-captain seemingly handed you a blue Monster can, and you hug the girl, thankfully. The interaction had Bada bothered and angry. You took Haechi’s drink but not hers?

She would talk to you about it one way or another, but she couldn’t find you the entire day. The fact that you didn’t have computer science today didn’t help the matter. So Bada decided to talk to you at your house. The rain began to pour, but it wasn’t stopping her from finding out what was wrong. She rang the bell at your gate, unsure if you were home, but when you opened the door, a glimmer of hope sparked until you spoke. “Go home, Bada.”

“What?” “I said go home,” your monotone voice made her want to hide. “Y/n, talk to me, please?” “Why should I?” She looks at you in shock. “What happened?”

“You wanna know so bad?” You walk up to the gate, anger fueling your eyes. Not even caring about the pouring weather. “Somehow, me being the smartest girl in school means nothing when it comes to you.”

Bada didn’t say a word, not knowing where this conversation was going. “Congrats, Bada, you made the top student in school look like the most mindless person in the world.” Bada’s eyes widen, “what do you mean-”

“Oh, don’t act stupid.” You groan and look at her with eyes of disgust. Bada sunk into the thought. She was back to square one. “I seriously don’t understand-” “You don’t understand sucking off another girl’s face while I waited for you in the parking lot? God, when I thought there was progress in your thought process these past few weeks, but I guess I was wrong.”

That’s what froze Bada, her heart dropping at the statement. You saw and heard everything. Bada only wanted to beg for forgiveness right then and there, but she knew she had no right to. It's not like you were gonna accept it anyway. “Y/n I-”

“Just save it, Bada. You don’t have to explain yourself. I get it. I’m just another girl, right? Or what was it you told blondie? A bet?” Bada had no words to save herself, wanting the ground to swallow her whole in shame. “Forget about it, Bada, forget we were ever friends.” You left the conversation at that, slamming the front door behind you. That’s when you broke down. The crying just couldn’t stop, kneeling on the floor of your home as the dreadful silence filled your ears as you heard the heavy rain and thunder pouring outside the windows. For once, you hated the silence.

The next day, Bada wanted to try and apologize again. She looked and looked, not finding you anywhere on campus. She then looks for her second-best bet and sees her standing with her friends. “Haechi!” Bada runs up to the girl as she waves her friends off. Her co-captains eyes held frustration, and it told Bada she also knew the situation. “Do you know where Y/n is?” “Why? So you can break her even more?” Bada knew to expect this, but she wasn’t expecting to be cornered by the girl who shoved her into the lockers.

“I fucking told you, Bada, but what Bada wants, Bada gets, right?” Haechi’s pointer finger drilled into her chest, and the captain winced in pain. “I-I wanna make it right.” “Too fucking late.”

Bada’s body ignores the pain at her words, “What do you mean?” Haechi looks at the girl whose eyes began to water slightly. “She’s leaving for the States. The school gave her an internship for 5 months.” Bada’s world crumbles, and she takes out her phone, sending you multiple messages.

Bada Y/n, I’m sorry. Please don’t go. It was a mistake. I was stupid. I was falling for you, and I was scared. Y/n?

Bada’s tears were uncontrollable as they fell, reading how her messages weren’t sending. “Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.” Bada was now beating herself up in the middle of the hallway. She was hitting her head hard with her fist, pulling her hair harshly, and everyone who saw looked at her in worry. Haechi was shocked at the girl’s actions, seeing how bad she genuinely felt. She did her best to pull Bada’s arms away, and Bada slid down to the floor, blubbering as Haechi did her best to stop the girl from hurting herself. “I’m so fucking stupid, Haechi.” Her teammate didn’t know how to respond, just holding Bada’s arms down as she cried her pain away.

A/n: SHIT IS INTESNE RN DAM.

Tag list: @chipswsauce @nimixe @yooqui @eeeetaetterswife @efyyylee @froufrousnowman @amararosesblog

#gxg #wlw #bada lee #bada lee x reader #bebe #street woman fighter 2 #street woman fighter x reader #swf2 x reader #swf 2 x reader #swf x reader #bada lee x fem reader #ssivinee

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angy-grrr · 4 months ago

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A thought about the leaks:

It makes more sense when you think about Izuku Midoriya as an unreliable narrator who wanted to talk about a hero story.

He doesnt want us, the audience, to know about the depth of his own feelings and emotions, because this is the story of how he and the rest of the class kept reaching out their hands to those in need of help.

Something that kind of surprised me when he talked to Ochako was how he would frame it almost like "you are my hero as you have reached out your hand to me multiple times since the beginning, and I want to also be a hero to you too, so I must help you with everyone else"; he wants to be a hero from the beginning to the end, and this act of kindness for Ochako and need to let out her emotions for Himiko is framed as heroic. This is him being a hero.

Who saves the heroes? Other heroes, instead of being alone. And anyone can be a hero. This is a story about it.

Izuku has no intentions of showing off his trauma, his loneliness, his pain, outside of what's heroic; he cant even talk about romantic feelings without going back to it.

It made me feel much better, to see it that way; its not that the whole story ends with what he said, he is literally skipping all he parts that wouldn't be part of a cool hero story.

He parallels AFO after all.

I think it makes sense considering how much different Ochako's feelings and thoughts are depending on who tells the story; when we have her POV while fighting Himiko everything is personal and emotional, but when she explains her feelings to Deku she doesnt even mention anything related to how much she wanted her in her life, besides the childhood friends comment, and even brings up the uses of her quirk. Its like she is comparing herself to Deku? Like if she noticed those things about quirks instead of focusing on the emotional aspect, then maybe she could have helped her sooner. And in the final chapter, when she is mentioned, its about her heroic work, not about how much they talked, or their hangouts, or anything like that.

Izuku skips the handhold, and I want to believe its bc it wouldnt make it for the hero story. He doesnt talk about what he felt when he sacrificed himself for the first time, but we saw his anger and his uncontrolled pain. He doesnt talk about how he forgives him, but we saw how much he always wanted him in his life. He doesnt talk about Katsuki dying. but we saw how someone else had to tell him they didnt lose anyone yet and he was getting help. Control your heart. Izuku hits his chest, black whip makes a heart, and he focuses in what he knows to do: heroics. He will save, and he will fight to save.

Another reason why he wouldnt bring back his own feelings when it comes to imitating Katsuki unconsciously even if he knows others would dislike it; he wants to be selfless hero Deku, and while he does admire Katsuki and cherish his company, he knows he himself wouldnt get a pass to be rude when he isnt as brilliant as him from his perspective.

And like any hero would, he wants his friends by his side, and forever to help others. That's what he wants to represent in his hero academia, another saving hero like his All Might.

(Also apparently Horikoshi and his team were especially pressured by Shonen Jump during these months and he admits he found it rushed, so once again the capitalistic corporation is the evil to defeat. This is just my own interpretation in universe)

#grrr talking #bkdk #bnha spoilers #dkbk #bakudeku #dekubaku #grrr discusses leaks

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4str0nuts · 6 months ago

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DEEP DIVE INTO HORROPEDIAS AUTISTIC CODING : A GIANT ANALYSIS THING

ALTERNATE TITLE IS WHY THE FANDOM SHOULD CHECK OUT HOW THEY TREAT AUTISTIC CHARACTERS

Disclaimer before I go in; i’m using the global translations and the english voice acting as I am on the global server lol. This may affect some things but hopefully not a lot! Also i’m using this video [https://youtu.be/ygAkz4L2AMo?si=elrUeXGompMKYXUJ] for my proof and will provide timestamps!

Horropedia is one of the most loved characters in Reverse:1999 (bc haha funny autistic guy) , yet I literally see no serious posts discussing his character or even going into his character— even at a basic level. I’ve kinda been off to the side observing how the fandom treats Horropedia and it makes me question if people actually like him or some alternate version of him. Yeah sure this is a problem in every fandom but I’m too attached to Horropedia and i’m going to make it everyone’s problem.

There's all sorts of mischaracterisations of him where his autism is reduced to him being an “asshole” and “uncaring”, or that he is some funny reddit meme sona when that’s the case at all! Every other character gets to have serious posts yet when it comes to a very blatant autistic coded character, suddenly no one knows how to act despite the fact the fandom (going off of the twitter fandom here) prides itself on neurodivergency; so I’m here to dump a ton of analysis on Horropedia using ingame sources as proof as well as my own knowledge (as someone who is autistic myself), whilst also debunking mischaracterisations of him. I’m also doing this as I don’t think people treat Horropedias autistic coding seriously, seeing it as silly and thus ignoring all of his character.

Jumping straight in, Horropedia is not an asshole and is actually quite a caring character, even if he doesn’t show it conventionally. To me, it’s quite obvious that he cannot understand people at an emotional level, and always relies on his logical way of thinking no matter the situation; for example, when he broke Blonneys camera, he clearly does not understand why she is mad/upset and instead tries to comfort her logically rather than emotionally. Even when Blonney is very much showing she is mad, Horropedia cannot process that and cannot understand until she actually explains it [Part 5 54:07-57:20]. I can see why people may see it as an asshole move since he tells her to be “reasonable” over the camera breaking, though it is clear that this is another one of his autistic traits as people with autism have a hard time connecting with others’ in an empathetic way(which can come off as being blunt and uncaring) yet no one seems to mention that. Despite this, he still offers her to buy her a new camera once Blonney vents out to Jessica, coming to terms with what he did and making it up to her. [Part 12 2:10:37]

Adding onto the last point, Horropedia shows concern and care multiple times throughout the story. Even if he is bad at comforting people, he still tries to acknowledge what is wrong in regards to the situation. I’m trying to keep this short as I don’t necessarily think this is due to his autism but a cool detail I found with the English voice acting is that his tone gets softer when he’s more genuine (it could be seen as masking but shrug. Not too sure on this one as I'm making this point to show he does care in his own way.) He constantly makes sure everyone is safe and goes out of his way to protect others [Part 4 51:08 , Part 6 1:16:18-1:16:39], which is a small detail I think people gloss over. It’s just nice seeing Horropedia care for others in his own way since I struggle with expressing affection / emotions like him.

Back to his way of thinking, it’s practically plastered everywhere that he thinks in a logical way and takes everything at face value no matter what, which is a trait associated with autism. At the very start of the very event, he even breaks down Vertins joke and still a conclusion was that she wasn’t the person he was looking for (knowing full well she was) [Part 1 11:06-11:50]. Horropedia also explains things at face value— in a basic and straightforward way no matter what it is, which is another example of not truly understanding things at an emotional level! [Part 9 1:42:45-1:43:09]This does not mean he does not consider the consequences of a situation, and Horropedia actively avoids situations where it poses a threat / harm to others. Mentioning this to point out how some people in the fandom treat him like he is stupid?— Despite how he is the basic definition of a nerd with references to it all over his character and voice lines! Yes, he could be seen as careless considering he goes to Green Lake just like that with no approval, but he certainly isn’t oblivious to dangers around him. Horropedia himself explains that he is into horror movies because of how illogical they are(stating how it is like a puzzle), not necessarily the fear of them; so it makes no sense for Horropedia to directly put himself or others in harm's way.

Still relating to his way of thinking, Horropedia uses his horror logic so he can understand situations around him. He directly links back to his special interest to understand things— and to an extent others— better, special interests are a trait exclusive to autistic people! By using his horror special interest, he can understand the world better from his perspective. I don't even need to get examples of this because throughout the Green Lake event he makes references and links to horror movies, basing predictions on what to do in order to survive in the stereotypical like scene of Green Lake. Horropedia is full of reasoning, and despite his “debatable manners” (thanks Sonetto),he is not always too absurd with his predictions. It baffles me that people treat Horropedia like he is some happy-go-lucky kid, running head first into danger; he takes the time to understand a given situation in a way he would understand before doing anything.

Another really obvious thing is that he can’t understand social cues, or the body languages of others at all. Essentially he cannot read the room. The whole “I know the rules of social courtesy” [Part 12 2:19:19] line doesn’t necessarily mean he understands social cues— rules are (usually) based in logic and reasoning, and not emotions. Social courtesy just means the rules of society (or the foundation in this case? eh), and Horropedia knows he HAS to abide by the rules or else he will be in trouble. Something seen as ‘basic’ and ‘simple’ to people considered ‘normal’ by society may be hard to grasp by people who do not benefit from society (autistic people). Horropedia understands the ‘logical reasoning’ of how someone acts but he can’t connect with or understand someone else’s emotional responses. Literally look at most of his interactions with the film crew and Blonney, Jessica even steps in at one point to stop him from making the fight between Jason and Blonney worse [Part 6 1:11:38]; and even then he tries to use logic to break down the situation. Horropedia can’t pick up on social cues for the life of him, including body language and tone.

Smaller point here but I have a feeling Horropedia’s tone is hard to understand to some of the characters. Tooth Fairy couldn’t tell if Horropedia was joking towards the end of the event , where he shows off his “sense of humour”. Nothing much to add here I just found that really interesting…

Ive rinsed out all the notes I’ve taken on Horropedias autistic coding so far…….. feel free to add on more….. I may have gotten some things wrong because I have been working on this for a few hours straight. Surprisingly I still have more to analyse outside of his autism so if people are interested let me know bc i’m desperate .

TLDR: horropedia is autistic thanks for reading.

#astronuts talk #horropedia #reverse 1999 #reverse 1999 horropedia #green lake #nightmare at green lake #r:1999 #r1999 #i’m so nervous to post this lol #autism #autstic #analysis #horrorpedia #<— just in case……

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saltyskeletonkidpasta · 5 months ago

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Prepared to get backlash on this but I dont understand why anyone likes jack gibson? He Literally ruins EVERYTHING then doesnt even feel the need to apologise then just gets given the chance to swoop in and be the hero or the nice guy and people seem to fall for that?

He slept with andy in s1 knowing it was against the rules and they could've broken the whole teams trust, slept with maya knowing andy would probably be hurt and let maya take all the blame for that and didnt defend her or have the decency to explain to andy himself, went out of his way to make maya feel worse for crying after Ripley died all bc he found her tears "a little distracting" and just kept going even after she told him to stop making her feel worse, threw a hissy fit the entirety of s3 at her bc he was bitter abt being dumped and had no problem ganging up on her with andy as if he wouldnt have taken the job if he was offered it, broke the code and slept with his teammates wife multiple times despite knowing she was married and then when Rigo found out he continued to lie to his face like right before he died he said he didnt know (which he did after the first time), then after being given therepy by diane and the team forgiving him very easily and he was preaching abt how he was trying to be better then had absolutely no problem helping maya self sabotage her new rl despite him knowing she was in one and that she'd been abused by her dad and threw that in her face then didnt leave when he was asked then picked her up and took her to the bunk while maya was clearly emotionally distressed, thus making the exact same mistake again after the rigo and eva situation and after treating maya terribly all season and constantly whining abt how she chose her career over him as if she ever made any promises to him or did anything with him other than hook up then SHE was one to apologise to HIM, he didnt apologise to the team for breaking the code, or to carina for getting with her gf knowing she was with her.

Then got with inara after saying he wouldnt, who was previously abused in a relationship who he helped get out of. Broke the code AGAIN in S5 by making out with vic knowing she was with theo and didnt even apologise to him and told vic she could ruin her life and that he didnt care, the writers then gave him this redemption arc with helping set up the clinic, and giving people medical care which he is literally paid to do, and stripped carina of any dignity and turned her into his fan girl with that stupid donor crap, his motivation to be it wasnt at all abt helping out his friends all his reasons were selfish then he butted into everything, literally fetishised them and was straight up just creepy, then blurted out marinas private information to the first person he next saw (andy) without permission, then ditched the station without a word after Andy's charges literally JUST got dropped and leaving marina with absolutely no warning, also bailed on marsha who has basically been a mother to him, lied abt where he was to andy for like 3 months knowing how triggering lies were for her, was blatantly rude to maya and disclosed her private info AGAIN infront of vic, didn't even apologise to her for leaving or to andy for lying all carina got was "oh sorry by the way" then went with the victim complex. Everyone on the team showed up for him and tried to help him ben, vic and carina gave him advice rigo came back from THE DEAD for him and andy constantly bent over backwards trying to help him and she was met with rudeness.

He made maya's injury all abt himself and confided in her literal WIFE abt how hard it would be for HIM to lose her then didnt even ask if either of them were okay nor did he visit maya in the hospital, then when carina came back to the clinic he followed her around like a creep trying to peer into a private cubicle then started accusing her of all sorts and gossiped abt her to ben despite knowing she was going through such a difficult time as if he has any right to criticise given his track record and used the excuse that "he didnt want the family to fall apart" and said he'd do the same with ben and miranda which is just rude and not his place anyway and also that he'd "worked hard to be back there" when he really didnt he was instantly given his job back the second it was announced that maya was injured.

When he slipped and smacked his head in 6x14 he got a concussion he still went on the call and didnt tell anyone until he literally passed out in the beanery which if he had collapsed on the call he could've hurt himself even worse or left a team member exposed in a fire and got them hurt or even a civilian. Extremely irresponsible of a paramedic then was suprised it lead to permanent brain damage. Then when everyone tried to do something nice and throw him a party he was like "they are only doing this bc they are obliged to" like seriously? People on the team are constantly there for him and he is so coddled by them. He has marsha and his sisters yet still mopes around like "I have no one who cares abt me :(" I get hes been through alot but so has everyone else they dont whine nearly as much and some dont get half as much support as he does. He has made so many mistakes and has put in the least amount of effort to make up for them yet everyone still loves him? I dont get it..

Also I think the actor is so bad. I'm sure grey is a nice person and this is purely criticising acting capabilities. I literally can't watch his scenes without cringing. In the first 3 seasons I thought he was bland and emotionally stiff then after that it looked like he was almost trying to hard as his face was constantly twitching and eyes squinting, all his sentences were stuttery and couldn't get one out without an "uhhh", also his HANDS omg I particularly noticed this in S5 and a bit in s6 (however it looked like the directors made an effort to get him to tone it down after s5) WHY is he always flailing? They're constantly moving and it doesnt look natural AT ALL and it is SO distracting. I known for a fact that makes the editors lives so much more difficult bc that's hard to edit in post..and emotional range is not good. It never has been. If you pay attention pretty much all of the crying scenes he's has he covers his eyes. There is no tears. It doesnt seem like grey is very comfortable with doing them he doesnt really do it very well imo

#station 19 #rant #jack gibson #vic hughes #travis montgomery #grey's anatomy #station19 #andy herrera #maya bishop #carina deluca #maya x carina

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sherlokiness · 6 months ago

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Jon likes a princess

I'm gonna try to explain but I think the only legitimate anti jonsa argument I can accept that it will never happen because Sansa is not Jon's type and their ideals don't click. He doesn't like girls like Sansa of which I can't fault him for. Like Ned falling for Cersei or something like that.

All the other anti jonsa arguments can be blown off because they are hypocritical. No one bats an eye on aegony and jonrya so clearly, they think Jon is fully capable of jumping the incest hurdle. But when you mention jonsa they go "oh that's incest" which comes back to the hypocritical part. It's accepted that Jon will marry his auntie by relying on Jonnel/Sansa precedent to get rid of the incest label but when jonsas raise an eyebrow it can never be? Are they hearing themselves? Why can Jon jump the incest hurdle for Dany/Arya but not Sansa?

She is not a princess. "As you wish, Your Grace."

Jon sighed. He was weary of explaining that Val was no true princess.

Val is no princess, though. I told him that half a hundred times.

She may not be a princess, but she would make a worthy wife for any lord.

I think we can establish what Jon thinks of Val's princess status and that he doesn't consider her as one. Why the turn around? Well, it was when he was thinking that if she were one, he decided she'd be a warrior princess.

Why not? thought Jon. They are all convinced she is a princess. Val looked the part and rode as if she had been born on horseback. A warrior princess, he decided, not some willowy creature who sits up in a tower, brushing her hair and waiting for some knight to rescue her.

We're focusing too much on warrior part. Why the need to suddenly elevate Val's status despite vehemently denying it before? It's like when he's thinking of his mother, she has to be beautiful and high born and not a whore. So he does like princesses but not the damsels in the tower.

This is an allusion to Sansa and the only one who perfectly checks all mark in the text. And if we're gonna admit this princess in a tower is Sansa then I've got bad news because there is another princess in a tower in the story - Arianne. She has been unlucky in love multiple times but we later find out that it was designed that way by her father bc she has been promised from the start- to a dragon/Targaryen concerning a secret pact. 🫢🫢🫢

Why would Jon say he prefers the fake princess Val over Sansa? It's not as if those ladies would want to be rescued by a bastard like him. It was never an option. If you get into community college, do you need to say I hate Harvard anyway?

Florent's face grew flushed with anger. "So it is true. You mean to keep her for yourself, I see it now. The bastard wants his father's seat."

The bastard refused his father's seat. If the bastard had wanted Val, all he had to do was ask for her.

Val, the warrior princess, was within his reach. So Jon is just being a sour grapes. Then there's Dany being at odds with winesellers and Sansa saving a drunk man from a tyrant.

And if want to dig deeper, the story concerns a hungry fox. What is Jon's deepest wish?

He wanted it, Jon knew then. He wanted it as much as he had ever wanted anything. I have always wanted it, he thought, guiltily. May the gods forgive me. It was a hunger inside him, sharp as a dragonglass blade.

Jon wants a son and Winterfell. There's the Val/Sansa contrast again because he could have satisfied his hunger but he didn't because of the appearance of Ghost/Sansa.

1) Sansa is an actual princess and not a fake. She's not some relative of the one who married the King.

2) Was locked in the highest tower of Maegor's Holdfast by Cersei and the Eyrie by LF

3) Brushing her hair while waiting for her knight

Had Joffrey found out about her meetings with Ser Dontos? Please no, she thought as she brushed out her hair. Ser Dontos was her only hope.

It's really hard that the only reasonable anti jonsa argument I could accept was written with bullet points concerning Sansa. Like GRRM won't let me win.🫤

#this was in my drafts #ill just post as a reply to trandsdimensional post #Cause they're a bit long #jonsa #ice and fire boy and nothing so sweet #ashford adjacent #that last one is taking me out #💀💀💀#Please no as she brushed out her hair #Hahahahahhahahahha

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demodraws0606 · 2 months ago

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Whit and Eden Accomplices Theory (or mostly just rambling about how Eden could be the culprit in a way that makes sense to me and also how Whit's strange behavior could be explained alongside it but that's a way longer title, oh wai-)

(I'm so sorry every DRDT theory I have involves Whit maybe if he was fucking normal and also not my fav character I would stop putting him in everything)

My entire mindset about theories is just throwing shit at the wall until it sticks, and it seems that this one has really stuck in my mind.

I feel like this post will be long bc there has to be a lot of explanation as to how I got to this theory.

See, I have an issue with the Eden motive from mostly a character perspective as Eden coming up on her own such a cruel method to kill Arei just does not feel in character even if she did snap. It also doesn't help that there isn't much of a motive for her. I've seen people justify but I just don't buy it and I personally just find it a bit boring. I also don't believe she would be fully distrustful of Arei unless being pushed to believe so.

However, the idea that she might have an accomplice could help that justification but it ends up creating a lot more problems. Because you'd need to find a character who would be willing to put their life on the line for seemingly no good reason. This is the issue I had with the Levi/Eden accomplice theory and now for me that theory is pretty much debunked since Levi admitting to his secret just drives more suspicion around him (it also doesn't match with his behavior in the trial, he does seem to genuinely want to help).

I can't deny that Eden definitely is the most suspicious despite me throwing Levi and even Whit under the fire purely because I just don't buy narratively that Eden murdering Arei makes sense. However undeniably, Eden could have access to both Teruko/Hu's clothes and she could've gotten hold of the tape, doesn't help that she was also quite suspicious when Teruko snuck up on her.

So I start to go back to the idea of accomplices, if it's not Levi, who could it be ?

Now before I get to Whit, I do want to propose the kind of other thought I had that didn't quite work out but also is interesting.

Eden culprit + Hu accomplice theory

Now this one is purely because of the fact that we know Hu and Eden hanged out a lot the day before the murder happened, Hu and Eden talked about the clothes as well. There's enough of a connection to make them planning a murder make sense.

However, it doesn't make sense with Hu's character so far. We do know she seems reluctant about her secret however we run into the problem that she has no reason not to just admit it on the spot when the secrets are now already revealed. It works especially not well with the fact that her whole thing is that she wants to live and blows up at David for wanting to play with the cast's lives. In fact her secret quote emphasizes how much she wants to live.

Her having also an alibi makes it impossible for her to have committed/contributed to the murder directly though if she's an accomplice that isn't much of a rebutal, it just makes it impossible for her to be anything more than just a distant accomplice.

Anyways, that really just doesnt leave us with a lot of viable accomplices to help Eden, at least not ones that would make actual sense except....

*sigh* Whit...

I would like to say this is kind of an evolution/building up of my personal theory of Whit being the culprit, as he was linked with a lot of suspicious behavior and also would be the only one with a hypothetical motivation (which in this theory there is a potential second motivation possibly here).

Now my main argument against a lot of the accomplices is the threat of death, who would willingly risk or give up their lives for someone's murder ??

The thing is...Whit already has multiple times refused to tell the truth both in the first case and second case, to the detriment of the survival of everybody. Trial 2 being the most obvious with him being reluctant about Eden's note and David's secret, if he truly continued to keep it shut he had potential to risk people's lives by leaving out information. In the first trial it's him being reluctant to divulge Charles's trauma despite it being the key reason as to why he couldn't have commited the murder.

In fact it's such an issue that Charles hands his secret to Teruko and not Whit because he can't trust Whit to divulge the secret in the class trial.

This would also give Whit a motive, his strange disposition to not unveil anyone's secret could potentially expand to him having personal motivation to not have everyone's secret revealed.

But I think the real motive lies in the strange subject of Whit's secret, his secret being thrown away by Rose without her looking at it, making it impossible for Whit to ever know what his secret was. Interestingly enough he also takes a strange amount of time to indentify that secret as his, like to a point of it no longer just being carelessness.

Therefore lies a potential motivation of him overthinking what his secret actually is. If you want more I go into Whit's potential motivation more in the Whit culprit post (specifically his strange behavior) but let's get onto other information that's smaller but works well with th

Another thing that like, while is mostly based on vibes and circumstancial evidence is still an interesting thing to think about. There's the fact that Whit and Eden were both the people chosen with Teruko and this is something I want to bring up for three reasons.

One, it is important to bring up the counter argument of "them orchestrating Arei's death would go against the body announcement rules right ?" and that is correct. However, the rule is extremely vague to an almost ridiculous degree, if Arei died of suffocation or if Whit and Eden weren't looking when she actually died would it not count as "witnessing the murder" ? In fact I believe this rule being there more so hint at it being subverted especially since we know how unreliable Mono-TV is. Also if we're going with that argument, it is interesting to also note that Eden and Whit were weirdly reluctant about Teruko going to the playground (aka Whit asking if she even really is at the playground and Eden telling Teruko to please wait when she opens the door).

Second, is Whit and Eden's closeness due to this trial, well that wouldn't be the right word, the more correct word would be proximity. Whit jumps to comfort Eden, although in a quite strange apathetic way (no whit saying "there there" doesn't count as actually emotionally being there for someone whose friend just got hanged). They both are in charge of the evidence by Teruko with Rose being grouped up as well. Whit tries to avoid the subject around the note that is incriminating to Eden. They also both "coincidentally" didn't notice Arei's swaying.

Third, more shorter and "funny" little subject would be Teruko's bad luck, especially with Min in the first trial. How unlucky would she be to have picked both of the people responsible for Arei's death. It would be an interesting running theme. However there's not much evidence behind that.

Now here are like short little bullet points that I think kinda cement my thoughts on how Whit being an accomplice can work (bc a lot of people have talked about Eden being the culprit already)

-Whit again one of the few who knows about Arei's rope, everyone could've technically gotten their hands on it but only a few would really know about the rope itself and it being taken away

-Whit is the one to question about acomplice thing and in fact actually manages to get Mono-TV to accept his criteria on who would be considered the blackened. Aka the one that was the most "active" in the crime. If Whit managed to do less than Eden this could be a potential attempt at him for the rules to be in his favor in case Eden gets found out (or vice verca, if he did most of the work he'd be the one to escape).

-I feel like Whit would be high in the spot of being able to manipulate Eden, they both have similar ideologies, plus his intuition seems to get him to read people like a book (or see the future ? were still not sure about that one chief /j). Along that it would be really funny if the Ultimate Matchmaker was the one to break down a relationship. Similar irony to the Ultimate Student killing the Ultimate Rebel.

Anyways I'm sorry about these incoherent ramblings, i'm trying to piece this whole thing together and Eden just being the culprit just doesn't sit right mainly because it feels like the story doesnt justify itself enough.

So here's some spice

By the way if Whit's motivation seems strange throughout my ramblings is mainly because I don't fully know what they are, what I was trying to get across is mostly that it wouldn't be out of character for Whit to have motivations that would lead him down to helping Eden. Unlike, say, Hu whose whole theme of being someone who probably having taken their own life before considering the secrets, has an immense determination to live.

#drdt #drdt eden #eden tobisa #danganronpa despair time #drdt whit #whit young #drdt theory #drdt analysis #can you tell i only had 2 hours of sleep ???#i feel like making posts when you're sleep deprived is like giving myself justification if I do something stupid #like man don't diss on the guy who hasn't slept #how cruel are you :(#anyways i wish whit wasnt the piece of shit puzzle that just isn't fitting but he is and i just #i have a gut feeling he is involved in this somehow #the idea of it just being eden as a culprit feels too simple and lacks a motive #eden being spurred on by someone else would make sense for her character #her fear that she is weak has led on her relying on someone who would take advantage of her #idk #my brain is melting leave me alone

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mello-bee · 9 months ago

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Reasons why YOU should be suspicious of O'Connor

(contains spoilers to the princess event and slight Clarence's white day event) (it's also written from the prespective of an EN only player)

I believe O'Connor is in cahoots with Cael somehow and have alot of delusional reaching - that I and @smudgedvolt come up with in our secret lbc basement - to back me up

for one, he's the art TA for the school, and while Cael isn't the only art professor in the school, he was never specified to be anyone else's assistant, for all we know he may have been handpicked by Cael himself (i told you this had alot of delusional reaching)

he also just straight up didnt graduate, which is more of an indicator that Cael may have pulled some strings to get him to work in ST. Shelter

secondly, he's the only NPC that appears everywhere at all times on the map

he's the only NPC that does this as IL are the only ones that change location once per day, and NPCS like gerald and william are usually bound to where they are everyday

so how come he's the only one who can change location multiple times per day? and specifically going where YOU are?

what if he's specifically watching you?

he also gives MC alot of assignments,

Do you think he's maybe trying to keep her busy?

In his introduction, MC describes him as something that doesn't belong

it's not like its the first time she's seen tourists or older people at ST. Shelters?

later we learn that he was the council president, before he suddenly disappeared and came back unannounced

the only other people described by Clarence to have disappeared are MC and Cael and you obviously know what's up with them (this actually makes Clarence's relationship with MC a bit sadder bc this means he's used to people close to him like O'Connor suddenly disappearing without an explaination and this could be why he documented everything in his notebook)

and even if he didn't mean "fled" as in "disappeared", fled is still a strange choice of words, was he running away from something? someone?

he also seemed to know that she's missing points; he explains that, of course he knows as he was an art student as well, but would he be able to guess that she's behind all the other art students bc she missed a few activities?

unless he knew of her travelling to godheim at he start of the year

next is the list he made during princess event, i haven't played princess event myself though so forgive me if any of this is explained at some point but

he just??? made a list of all the paragons?? + william and two other guys??? lars ISN'T EVEN A STUDENT why on earth would he put him there??

after Heinrich's death, Clarence visited the lab to find it empty

Clarence ruled out Cael because he also disappeared, although Cael has freaky time travelling powers but we cant rule out the possibility of someone else helping him

O'Connor is the only NPC with a card higher than R

i can't be the only one who finds it weird that Some Weird Art Guy™ just has an SR while lore important NPCS like Amelia and Naledi's counterparts are stuck as Rs and Ns?

I was gonna talk about this scene and the "mysterious seller"

but it all got thrown out of the window, it turns out Cael was behind the account :(

although I can technically use this along with other points to point out how william is even MORE suspicious than O'Connor but thats a post for another day

#crack theory #except I actually believe it #lbchronicles #lbc #lovebrush #lovebrush chronicles #lbc o'connor #lovebrush O'Connor #for all time otome #for all time #O'Connor

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findafight · 1 year ago

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key reason why steve would be a better tutor than ppl like nancy or dustin tbh. esp nancy (given how prevalent nancy tutoring other characters is in fic),,,, whenever ppl talk about her tutoring steve or eddie or something i can't believe it bc ik she would get v frustrated w other ppl who are struggling w something she didn't personally struggle w. nancy would get v irritated if the tutee didn't understand something the same way she did and being able to explain something in multiple ways/look at something from multiple perspectives is literally number 1 most important skill for a tutor imo. god forbid if they were neurodivergent too r*nance shippers can lie to themselves all they like but it doesn't change how she acted w robin. genuinely think that those fics where nancy tutors eddie are subjecting eddie to his own personal brand of hell.

I JUST mentioned in the replies of that ask that Steve was a Lifeguard, and almost certainly was also teaching swimming. You have to be able to adapt how you teach something for that, not only because the age range is between babies and adults, but because people learn differently. You can't explain front glide to side glide the same way to a four year old as to a twelve year old as to a forty year old. it also requires spacial and physical awareness. Steve would probably understand that maybe he himself needs to repeat things back in his own words, and that others need to hear it again or write it down or something. I think he would only really succeed or even try in something he knew well and was confident in, hence swimming and the abundance of steve-helps-lucas-with-basketball headcanons. He's good at physicality, and that's a knowledge base the rest of the cast (except for lucas, now) seem to lag in.

Tbh i don't know if Nancy would be a terrible tutor, but yeah she would get annoyed and frustrated if whoever it was she was helping didn't learn in the same style she did. (and maybe take it personally? like maybe think it was on purpose or reflected badly on her, when they are just incompatible learning-wise) but she is very "My way or the highway" and stubborn, so I agree that she wouldn't want to or possibly not even think of adapting how she's coming at teaching it. Just personality wise Nancy is very smart but not exactly a teacher.

Ah. yeah. with robin i'm not sure how else to look at it other than Nancy being annoyed that robin was talking too much, worried about how Nancy saw her, and suggesting the conspiracy newspaper. People can have multiple interpretations I guess but as someone who is neurodivergent and doesn't pick up on a lot of that stuff in person except in hindsight or when pointed out to me, but can clock it in media, it really did strike me that way.

#findaanswers #steve harrington #anti nancy wheeler #anti ronance #not really for both of those but to be safe!!#stranger things #stranger things meta #anonasaurus

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kamiversee · 6 months ago

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i'm losing my mind. FTL is for the Gojo girlies fr we're eating GOOD so far.

back in chapter 29 he mentions how he fell in love with our voice first and FTL opens up with the fact that the first thing he noticed about us was our laugh. my fucking heart omfg Kami WHAT.

the amount of references back to chapter 29 is actually insane. Gojo asking her if she even likes parties because he recalls seeing her less and less when he goes to them :(

i'm so curious to see if the mention of Satoru self-projecting is going to be consistent with this sequel. knowing you, it most probably will. omg my heart's gonna hurt i already know it.

the amount of parallels to us and Satoru is crazy. those last two paragraphs really caught my eye when i was rereading. assuming that the "monster" being mentioned is Sukuna, Satoru "never finding out" the reason why Sukuna decided to blackmail him directly relates back to how it felt like we'd never find out the reason why Satoru blackmailed us. omg.

the mention of how we were completely oblivious to how many guys have took an interest/watched us is crazy foreshadowing. the implication of Satoru noticing them and most probably writing them down in his journal, along with the theory of Sukuna somehow getting access to that journal and reading through it, could explain how Sukuna devised that list. AAAAAA KAMIIIIIIIIIII YOU'RE KILLING ME

sorry for the multiple, broken up messages omfg my brain is short circuiting from the anticipation

-☃️

Wanted to condense this message with the other ^.^

ANYWHO, yes yes everything connects very well 🙏 I’m trying my best to answer all plot holes as I go bc god forbid I finish ftl and there’s still unanswered questions (I’ll cry myself to sleep)

Aaand if u read chapter 29 you’ll also notice that the reader implies it was love at first sound instead of sight & now we know that thts almost exactly what it was :)) His curiosity sparked from the laugh & spiraled after that 😉

A lot of references will be made bc I gotta make sure everything makes sense! I want the story to end & everyone understands everything (if not, Im sure you’ll have another breakdown of tfl & ftl put together ^.^)

Oh and if you think Satoru & the reader have parallels, wait til’ you find out who Sukuna parallels to 🌚 (his parallels are a lot more tame tho… I think)

Lastly, the obliviousness was kinda a nod to Gojo’s infatuation in general (im trying not to spoil rn bc we will return to this point soon, trust me) like how he developed a crush & feelings despite never having so much as one convo with the reader!

It’s kind of a lil life lesson too, shows you how in life you’ll never really know if someone’s yearning for you unless they tell you & many people go their entire lives having had crushed on someone without ever telling them ;)

ANYWAY, IM EXCITED. YALL ARE EXCITED. LETSGOOO 🗣️

#kamiversee!answers #k!ans: ☃️#ftl!theories

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sofipitch · 2 years ago

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Interview with the Vampire first draft trivia

I've been meaning to make this post for a while now so I'm doing it. The Vampire Companion is a reference book for the Vampire Chronicles made in collaboration with Anne Rice. It is basically the VC wiki in book form from the 90s but with analysis of lots of themes and symbolism (there's entries for literally anything got even a passing mention in the series, and example of entries on one page chose at random are " adventure, Aegean sea, aesthetic choice" with multiple paragraphs each I shit you not like the "Aegean sea" entry explains it is basically just mentioned in passing it is COMPREHENSIVE. It also famously has an entry for penis/phallus (none for vagina or vulva tho booo). This book features a lot of analysis of VC and it's themes and it is legit some of the worst analysis I've ever seen. A lot of it is in the Freudian mindset/style which *Kubrick stares in psychology student*. It also just reflects a lot of the opinions Anne Rice had about her characters she had in the 90s, the entry on Louis really shows she hates him.

HOWEVER The Vampire Companion has one really cool feature and that is that it mentions things that were in the first draft of IWTV which was later removed. I love this kind of trivia, I love reading the IMDB trivia for these kinds of facts, so I'm collecting them all here in this post:

Lestat was supposed to die in the fire at Rue Royale. When he comes back from the swamp it was originally his last appearance and even then when they meet the Nosferatu/zombie-like vampires of Eastern Europe Louis concludes that the murder attempt left Lestat like those vampires, literally an animated corpse when he came back from the swamp and to Louis, whether Lestat survived the fire or not, Lestat is dead

Lestat's original backstory in IWTV is that Lestat was a poet as a boy. I'm just transcribing this part bc I love it so much: "....it was his poetry full of dreams and longings, that endeared Louis to him. When Louis tries to get Lestat to talk about his poetry, Lestat curtly dismisses it, as if he views it as an idealistic boy's worthless fancies." T_T I think about this part a lot and I kind of wish this part had not been removed but given that Lestat was originally based on Anne's husband Stan who was a poet, she probably removed it for personal reasons.

Rice had originally planned for Louis's tone in IWTV to be similar to that of Oscar Wilde but it changed when she changed from the POV of Daniel (1st draft) to Louis (final version). As annoying as the constant quotation marks are in IWTV, I think nonstop "the vampire said___" would have been worse

The reporter says that Louis looks to be around 35 instead of the final 25

When in Paris Louis and Claudia both accidently run into a random vampire and he runs away scared, Louis and Claudia then make themselves more obvious as vampires to attract the others to them

One evening they come home and a whole bunch of vampires are in their flat, and they take them to a rotting mansion with older human servants who are hoping to be turned into vampires. There they finally meet Armand

The vampires then get together in a room and recite Baudelaire's "Les Fleurs du Mal" and then a blonde woman is brought in, begging for her life, and she is passed around as they drink from her. Louis is horrified but drinks from her, and then Armand takes Louis to his bedroom where a woman is asleep on the bed and Louis crawls into the bed and drinks from her, killing her in her sleep

The group of vampires have more strict rules than the theater ones seem to described as loving conformity, abhor wasted opportunities, and constantly provoking each other into dares and challenges (vampire Jackass). Louis doesn't like the vampires but Claudia joins them, dressing in all black, dies her hair white, and befriends 3 brothers and has fun tormenting priests

In the original version of IWTV Claudia goes off with three vampire brothers she meets in Paris and does not die (I think Claudia leaving and meeting Bruce in the AMC show might have been an allusion to this). However AR claims she experienced "psychological difficulties" (the book's phrasing not mine) until she rewrote the ending where Claudia dies. Having Louis grieve Claudia was cathartic for her

When the vampires learn that Claudia killed Lestat they think his death was just and no punishment is required XD

Louis finally leaves not fitting in and Armand chases after him, asking why he left and then leaves the others for Louis. He also tells Louis his backstory (which is never revealed in IWTV)

In the original draft of IWTV Claudia is described as 3 or 4 instead of 5

Anne Rice did not originally realize that Claudia, the 5 year old who can never die, was a projection of her own desire for her daughter who died at 5. She originally saw Claudia as a way to talk about how women can be infantilized or considered inferior to men, by making the way women can be treated (not intelligent, not strong, not rational) physical in the form of a child

AR did use Michelle's (her daughter's) physical appearance, blond hair and blue eyes for describing Claudia, but again, denies that she was aware of a deeper significance at the time, but says it made a lot of sense later. However Claudia's personality is not based on Michelle (which makes sense bc we mostly see an adult Claudia in the book and movie and Michelle died at 5)

AR originally planned for Armand to be a central figure and villain in Queen of the Damned but decided he wasn't evil enough (I think this is cute)

Armand was completely different. He is described as innocent and angelic and in his twenties (However the final version of IWTV simply describes him as young, being 17 was added later and I personally always see him as early 20s bc of how I pictured him reading IWTV)

Armand was originally only from Venice, not Kiev, son of a guilder and later living with his maker for over a century (similar to what we learn in TVL and TVA but not nearly as dark, no sex trafficking or pedophilia)

Louis and Armand originally genuinely have a good relationship, traveling the world together after leaving Paris, and at one point Louis convinces him finally that vampires are inherently evil, he offers to go into the sun with Louis T_T However Louis cannot bring himself to do that so he adopts Armand's morals

Armand shows Louis a way to humanely kill and drink, by identifying "Those Who Want To Die" and Louis describes going to a cemetery and finding the mother of a child who had passed doesn't want to live anymore and Armand gently kills her. However Louis decides he simply likes it better when is victims fight back

The original ending of IWTV is Louis mentions that he hates going back to New Orleans because it was where he met his mortal love, but he never elaborates on who this was. (??? Anne???) As the interview ends around there Daniel notices the sun coming up and starts backing out of the room while Louis keeps talking because he was still afraid of Louis eating him. XD Louis finally realizes what was going on when Daniel makes it all the way to his car XD and is angry with him and asks for the tapes back. Armand arrives and says Daniel should have the tapes, that what Louis really wants is the tale to be public. Louis and Armand get in a cab and ride off into the night together (I also wonder if the end of s1 being Louis and Armand holding hands in front of Daniel is an allusion to this)

AR also points out that the book has large tonal differences, she wondered if it was an issue but then decided she liked it, saying Louis is a cynical cold person who warms up and then grows cold again throughout the novel. This character arc was never intentional though

Anne Rice says two main inspirations for IWTV are Richard Matheson's "Dress of White Silk" which is from the POV of a child vampire, and the movie "Dracula's Daughter" which had a tragic and sensual vampire.

The original IWTV short story (which you can still read) is very different, the vampire is not like Louis but based on Oscar Wilde, she intended the tone to be ironic and witty. The vampire enjoys killing and tells the reporter that, and like in the books says "the room the interview is in is just a room" but at the end reveals he is waiting for the occupant to come home so he can kill him, and the reporter runs away frightened. Lestat does not really exist other than as a nameless maker and Claudia and Armand also do not exist

The Vampire Companion does not really have "first draft" comments on any of the other books (only the first 4 had been out when it was published). I imagine it is because an author's first book is usually subjected to more edits and rewrites while they are struggling to get it published, but once the foot is in the door you don't have to do that as much (and AR took this a step further with firing her editor after becoming a NYT bestseller!).

However there were a few things about characters who appear later which I found interesting:

In the Daniel entry she says she wanted to explore Armand and Daniel's relationship more in future books, which we know she never does :(

Gabrielle was deliberately based on AR's own mother. Her mother was a feminist activist, often making AR feel like her mother paid more attention to her activism than to her, which mirrors Lestat wishing Gabrielle would teach him to read so he can enjoy the escapism. However both Gabrielle and AR's mother were unhappy in their domestic motherly roles, which is reflected in Gabrielle. AR's mother was also an alcoholic and died when AR was young of complications due to alcoholism. AR deliberately wrote Lestat saving his mother from death by making her a vampire, and Gabrielle being freed from the expectations of her gender as a wish she could have done the same with her mother T_T

David is also meant to be her father, he was dying due to some heart disease at the time she wrote TOTBT (he was not actually dead yet but I think was by the time she published or shortly after) and David is described as dying due to similar causes. So she wrote once again one of her parents not dying but becoming immortal. TOTBT is also much darker compared to TVL and QOTD, the previous two Lestat narrated books, and her grief helps explain why (but also "AR pls go to therapy" challenge)

I also find this excerpt on Anne Rice projecting onto Lestat interesting bc this is VERY similar to what Gabrielle says to Lestat: "As a writer I put myself into Lestat much more deeply than I had put myself into Louis because I was dealing with aggression in Lestat, and dealing with my own repressions. Lestat was my male hero who could do what I couldn't. I wanted to get out of the mindset of the passive grieving person [from when she was writing IWTV]." :/

#vc #vampire chronicles #interview with the vampire #the vampire lestat #queen of the damned #tale of the body thief #louis de pointe du lac #lestat de lioncourt #the vampire claudia #the vampire armand #daniel molloy #gabrielle de lioncourt #david talbot #amc interview with the vampire #iwtv #amc iwtv #tvl #qotd #the vampire companion

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obsidianstrawberrymilk · 8 months ago

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Random bsd theories

Finished 113 and uh. Uh

The member of the Agency who's gonna get transferred to the PM will probably be Tanizaki, or Yosano. I know there was that whole deal Mori and Fukuzawa made but there's no reason for Mori to keep it, and Yosano being forced to work with the man who caused her trauma would be a very interesting arc. That said it's also been noted multiple times Tanizaki would make a good assassin and Asagiri flat out said he's the member of the ADA closest to evil, sooo-

Gin Akutagawa is going to get Rashoumon if Akutagawa is actually dead. I don't know if he is even after the vampirism but I think he should be, because it would finally give some stakes to this series bc no one has died before and it would make Fyodor as a threat matter. Anyway I think it would make sense if Gin were to get it, especially considering with Tachihara's current unknown state that's another reason to get her more involved with the plot.

Fyodor's not actually dead. There's no way he's been built up over the past 2/3 arcs to die like THAT.

Aya has an ability. What it is, I'm not sure, I know her irl author's most famous work is Nagareru, which I have not read, so maybe something to do with that?

Also, Higuchi is going to become important soon. Asagiri has confirmed she has an ability - I'm betting we're going to find out what it is soon. Especially if Akutagawa is actually dead, which again I think he is because otherwise all the buildup was wasted, I think she's gonna get an arc of her own soon.

Dazai is going to be forced to develop and it won't be pretty. I've seen notes that he's kinda regressing back into his 'Demon Prodigy mindset' from the healthier one he developed with the ADA in the earlier arcs, before Mori released Q, in order to protect himself and the ADA from threats like Fyodor - so he's been more willing to sacrifice people or colder with his plans. In order to get out of that spiral something is going to need to snap him out of it.

Oh speaking of that - Dazai is either the son or grandson of the Old Boss of the Port Mafia from before Mori took over. Explains why he was implied to have known the old boss, and why his ability is basically an anti-ability, if he was constantly around someone so unstable and had to protect himself.

The Order of the Clocktower are going to become new antagonists with Agatha Christie also playing a role. We already know she exists in the BSD verse and the potential for a character based on her as a villain is insane. I'm also thinking she could potentially be the actual 5th member of the Decay of Angels, considering Sigma has existed for all of 3 years and spent a lot of that time actively being human trafficked, yet the organization was clearly prominent for years before that.

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hellobitchlet · 4 months ago

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I've seen a few people mention Liyue as an example to show that Hoyo is perfectly capable of doing proper research into cultures. I want to expand on my opinions about Liyue and culture a little, with some stuff I've been thinking about for a while.

So, my main interest in Genshin atm is that I've been rewriting the story. One of the main things I'm doing is putting more important lore into the main story. This has led me to looking at each nation from the perspective of "what important things are connected to this place? What can Traveler learn from here?"

Liyue is the first nation Traveler goes to in which the Archon War happened in full force. And with that, we have the adepti, immortal creatures from Chinese mythology that ruled over humanity. Adepti lore is more fleshed out than any other immortal archon group by far, thanks to having multiple characters from that group being playable 5 stars, and Genshin being more willing to make plotlines about them.

And of course, there's the culture stuff. There are two 4 stars who exist to show off Chinese culture, and we get a Lantern Rite every year. There's also Chenyu Vale, whose main draw (aside from more adepti lore(sort of)), is showing off Chinese culture through this brand new city and town.

So, obviously, Liyue's main selling points are adepti lore and Chinese culture. This is both bad for Liyue from a story perspective, and the other nations from a culture perspective.

Let me explain:

It's bad for Liyue because one of the main points having nothing to do with the story, combined with the amount of focus it gets, fills the nation up with so much filler. Aside from Baizhu and Yaoyao, we've gotten 5 new Liyue characters since Inazuma started! Those characters?

Yun Jin- filler 4 star whose gimmick is Chinese opera.

Shenhe- I'm sorry to say this, and I promise that I like her too, but she's mainly Razor if he was raised by a different immortal. Not exactly the same by far, but she functions in the same way. We didn't need another Razor. Razor and Andrius already don't get much screen time.

Yelan- honestly could've been super important with her Pantalone connection, but is instead just reduced to sexy 5 star with a gambling gimmick, to the point where she might as well be filler.

Cloud Retainer- ...ok. I don't have a huge problem with her. Other than being used to make fat jokes about Ganyu, she's neat. But she was fine as an npc, and her moving into the Harbor wasn't all that necessary when she seemed perfectly fine with living in the mountains.

Gaming- filler 4 star whose gimmick is lion dancing.

You get my point, right? The last time I remember something notable story wise coming out of Liyue was the Chasm and Perilous Trail, all the way back in Inazuma. Yet, we've gotten 4 characters, 2 Lantern Rite's, 3 LR skins, and a massive new area from Liyue since. It's so much filler. And we already have enough filler as is.

We've sure gotten more adepti lore, mainly in LR, but.. you know we're only getting that as set up to make more Liyue characters. We've learned almost everything we need to know about their story already, we have pretty much everything except for Zhongli and Guizhong's origins.

And it's bad for the other nations bc Liyue's treatment makes Natlan and Sumeru being like that, mashing European cultures together in Mondstadt and Fontaine when they're supposedly based off of 1 country, and only paying a little attention to Japanese culture in Inazuma look even worse.

They CAN, in fact, show off cultures they have researched. They've never been good at accurate designs, both with a character's appearance and their clothing, but they've still put so much more care into Liyue than other nations! There's no real reason why they can't do that for other nations. And there's no reason why they can't be even better, and make their playable characters look like the people of the cultures they're based on.

I don't have much of a point that I wanna make here. This is just an analysis I've gradually made about Liyue and it's effect on other nations.

#genshin impact #genshin impact critical #liyue #genshin liyue #genshin impact liyue #my post

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uh-niran-really · 24 days ago

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AAAA sososo many ideas, im welcoming myself back into your inbox HAHA!

Prince! Niran au x fem reader please! One where reader is his personal maid and he absolutely spoilsss her, jewelry, fancy clothing, etc etc and she falls head over heels for him. Reader one day plans to confess her feelings to the prince, even tho the chances were slim, she dreamed of being together with him. She was supposed to call him to talk to him in private when she finds him in the garden with lady satya(shes a noble from a highly respected family here so shes 100% fit to marry him)

Reader gets incredibly insecure and upset, so she leaves. She rushes to the king to get herself resigned from her job, too upset to face niran Knowing that she won't ever be able to have him.

Little did the reader know Niran was talking to lady satya on how to get his father to approve of marrying his maid! :00 hes yapping to her about how shes the love of his life, wants to marry her, and when satya tells him the chances were slim he takes her hands and looks at her dead in the eyes, completely serious, and tells her that he's willing to drop everything in his life, his wealth, his status, etc etc just to live a normal life with reader 🥹

Satya sighs in defeat knowing she cant stop him so instead she helps him plan on what to say to the king

When niran comes back to his room hes hella excited but everything in his world Falls apart when he sees a different maid in his room. He kindly tells her to leave but snaps rlly badly when she tells him the reader resigned and shes his new maid now.

Maid gets scared and leaves while niran has a panic attack and a full blown break down in his room, trashing everything and crying his eyes out. He eventually goes out tho and proceeds to yell and order at guards to find reader

Meanwhile, more drama :00

Reader is lost in the forest! :00

She went to the forest to calm down, take a walk with nature but ended up being lost and going too deep in the forest to be in contact with anyone. Shes stuck there for days, health slowly deteriorating as she slowly starves and become dehydrated.

Niran is DEPRESSED. constantly lashing out on guards to search faster or send out more men despite his family refusing his wishes(making his breakdown worse)

To the point that satya had to be over there CONSTANTLY bc he needed constant support or he'll probably self destruct😭

He hasnt eaten or slept in days, leading to satya begging him to do something about his health, anything at all, a bite of food, a wink of sleep. ANYTHING.

But he refuses until he finds her.

Idk how to transition but angsty angst 😈

Once reader is found hes practically yelling at the guards to take her to the clinic to get her checked, for the chefs to make her a hearty and healthy meal, for the doctors to get her checked properly, all while he stressed for her health and safety

Poor boy kept passing out by her side multiple times and panicking when he wakes up due to a nightmare or bc he was scared that she woke up and he wasnt there

For the ending of this hospital sequence, 👀continue the angst bc id like to see how u continue this but the actual story- end it off with happy fluffy ending where he convinces his dad to marry her after he explains the real reason why satya and him were in the garden that day TEEHEE THANK U 🤭

Fem Maid Reader x Prince Lifeweaver - Flirting with Prince Pruksamanee

Content: Angst and Sweet Royal Fluff

Word Count: 6,000+ (oops 🫢)

A/N: Oh my I loved writing this one for you dear! Ahhh such a delight. Our darling Niran is so regal! I love him! Let me know if you want a part 2 to this? Maybe them navigating royal life and having their babies (or making them 👀) But ahhh seriously, I loved this! Thank you as always for your beautiful prompts! Can’t get enough of them!

“It’s beautiful my prince!”

You stand in front of the floor length mirror admiring the new necklace the prince had brought for you. It was a gorgeous gold chain with a rose gold lotus flower charm on it.

“It looks lovely on you my lady.” His words sincere, voice as charming as ever, smile soft and regal.

It always surprised you when he honoured you with such a title, especially since you weren’t noble in anyway. You were just his maid.

“What’s the occasion?”

“Must there be one? You work so hard and don’t you deserve a token of my appreciation?”

You smile at him. Although he was royalty he was so humble and gracious about it. You were his maid but he treated you as if you and him were equals. You loved that about him. He brought you beautiful dresses and gorgeous heels, along with the most exquisite jewellery to match. He allowed you to model it all for him, loving the way they made you look. You often couldn’t wear such things outside of his room, but he kept them for you for whenever you wished to be something you weren’t. He could never resist watching you twirl for him.

“I want you to have this on you always. It’s like a good luck charm. I want you to think of me.”

“I already do my prince.”

Typically you didn’t wear his jewelled gifts outside of the room either. Niran feared you would be seen as a thief, a commoner who only sort to steal from the prince, though you did want to steal something, his heart.

“Then aren’t you just the world’s most perfect girl.”

You fell so hard for him it’s a wonder that you could still do your job. He was a massive flirt, but also kind, honest, genuine. Everything a prince should be, but often weren’t. His brother was a brat. You loved him for how he treated others and for how he prided himself on helping the environment. He was perfect, truly. One day you would confess your love for him, fantasising about running away together. Though sadly he was a prince and soon you were about to learn that the hard way.

——🪷——

“Lady Satya! Oh how lovely to see you.”

“Yes, though we do see each other rather often don’t you think?”

Lady Satya Vaswani of Vishkar. The princes closest friend. Also his betrothed lover. Niran was to marry her due to her status. She was of nobility, and a rather high up one. He didn’t have much of a choice in the matter, though he could hardly complain, she was perfect for him in every way. Kind, beautiful, fierce. Niran was fairly certain she was chosen for her ability to reign him in when he got a little wild. Something she always did when they were kids. They looked like the perfect couple. And yet…

“Yes, I suppose you are right. Are you well?”

“Yes, and you Prince Niran?”

The two began to walk around the garden, Lady Satya holding on to his arm. They often loved to walk around the Biolight garden, watching the roses bloom and sneak a peak at the happy couple. These flowers were alive and of the Prince’s own creation, living light. A fascinating invention that saw the Prince propel in popularity. He saved a whole village from starvation one winter. Quite remarkable. The flowers did love the couple, wanting to grow tall whenever they were near, battling one another to sneak a glance at the prince and his lady. Such a perfect couple. And yet….

“Lovely weather we’re having my lady.”

“What’s bothering you my Prince?”

The lady stopped walking, favouring a particular rose that warmed to her right away. It’s delicate petals spreading out to show her its beauty, sharp thorns dulling to show it wasn’t a danger, scent as sweet as a real rose. It was desperate to be plucked.

“Im sorry but, I have something to confess to you.”

Unbeknownst to him you were heading out to the garden. You needed to tell the prince how you felt. He was your reason for happiness. He was so kind, so perfect, so undeniably meant for you. You needed to confess these feelings because you were sure he felt the same way, and if he didn’t, surely he could see your point. You rounded the corner and spotted him with Lady Satya, your heart sank as you heard his next words.

“I’m in love my lady.”

In love. He was in love. With.. her? Of course he was. They had known each other for years at this point. The prince spoke of her often, such sweet words, never a negative thing to say. You watched them, two lovers spending their time among the roses, laughing, giggling, chatting. She was to be his Queen. She was to give him an heir to the throne. They were built to last.

You felt sick to your stomach. You had seen enough of them to know where his heart was. You couldn’t take it anymore, so ran. Away from them. Away from the heart break. Away from him.

“I’m in love with my maid.”

“How typical of you my Prince.”

He grinned at her. She knew him better than anyone, she knew he was serious. He was practically swooning at the thought of you.

“Oh my lady, she’s the one.”

He danced around the roses, being his typical dramatic self, pouring his heart out. Singing love ballads. Lady Satya watched on in amusement at her best friend. She wasn’t thrilled at the idea of marrying him, she didn’t want the pressure of being a Queen, let alone all the duties that came with it. She was quite happy to sit back and let him enjoy this one.

“Oh she’s perfect. You should see the way she looks dressed up in fine dresses, adorned with the most beautiful jewels on her skin. Uhhh I’m in love.”

“In happy for you my Prince, but… are we not to marry? Your father will not like this.”

“You know as well as I do that this is not what we both want my lady.”

“Yes, I do believe I broke your heart with that news years ago.” She giggled.

It was true. At one point in time he was in love with her. Smitten by the idea of making her his. She had plenty of the requirements to be courted by him. She was regal and elegant, had stunning beauty, incredibly smart. But she never felt the same way. If they were to marry it wouldn’t be for romantic love. A thought that broke his heart. They would have children sure, but that would be no fun. He was torn at the thought. But then he met you, his gorgeous little maid. Oh the way he thought of you was enough to make angels cry. Too many times had he stopped himself from kissing your gorgeous lips. Too many times had he stopped himself from confessing his undying love. Too many times had he started at you, wishing he could have you instead.

“But now I have her. She’s the one. Help me convince my father to break off our agreement. I love her Satya.”

He hardly ever used her name without her title, unless it was something of high importance, such as this. He took her hands in his, gazing into her golden irises, pleading with her.

“My Prince..”

“Please.. I’m willing to drop everything for her. My wealth, title, succession, anything. I’d be willing to live a commoners life just to be with her. Do you understand how I feel? She’s the love I need in this life. If he says no.. well I might just run away anyway..”

Lady Satya gasped. What he was saying was weirder than usual, but she understood on some level. Love was often unexpected. She found herself seeing the beauty in a common life. Maybe he did too.

“I beg of you, do not deny me this request.”

“How could I refuse a direct request from you, my Prince.”

——🪷——

You had ran straight to the King, begging for an audience with him, claiming it was of the upmost importance, concerning his son. You were seen rather quickly, for the King feared his son were ill or worse. The Prince did like to get into trouble.

“My King.. I wish to resign.. I can’t work for you any longer.”

The King said nothing, expecting more from you. He wanted an explanation, surely these theatrics weren’t for nought. You drop to your knees to beg for a termination in your contract. You understood what this meant. You would be banished from the castle, forced to live elsewhere. You just couldn’t face Niran anymore.

“I’ve grown too attached.. I fear I cannot effectively work closely to the Prince any longer.. please.. I beg of you my King.”

“What’s changed. You’ve been with him for quite sometime yes? Has he done something to make you uncomfortable?”

“No my King.. the Prince is nothing but kind to me. I am but a lowly maid.. yet he treats me with such generosity..”

“I see. Very well, you shall be replaced. You may go.”

Although your heart broke, it was the right thing to do. You couldn’t work so closely with the man you loved, knowing he was promised to another. It would only get worse when he married lady Satya. You just couldn’t be around him like this anymore.

“Forgive me for the inconvenience.. My King.”

——🪷——

Niran practically ran back to his room, climbing the stone steps in his tower. The sun was set ablaze, much like his heart. He was going to confess his love for you. Lady Satya would seek an audience with the King claiming infidelity in Niran’s feelings. The King would then have no choice but to hear his son out. He would threaten to leave if nothing else worked. You were his lady. He couldn’t wait to see you, almost forgetting just how beautiful you were. He’d ask you to pick a dress, requesting you model it for him, before confessing his love to you. It would feel less pressured that way. It would feel like you were both equal in a way. He got to his door, straightening out his shirt, and tucking his hair neatly behind his ear. With a deep breath he opened the door and stepped inside.

“Y/N my lady I- Who are you?”

“Your new maid your highness.”

New maid. What was this person talking about. He hadn’t requested a new maid. He was so happy with the one he had. You were always so kind to him, not afraid of his status, his power.. You weren’t mindlessly serving him, you were living with him. You accepted his gifts with a smile. A smile he wouldn’t see again.

“Leave. I didn’t request a new maid.”

“Your old maid resigned your highness.”

Those words cut him deeper than any blade ever could. Why would you resign. Did he not treat you well enough? Had you met someone else? Why would you leave without saying goodbye. He tried so hard not to snap, but he just couldn’t control himself. He was in pain.

“I SAID LEAVE!” He picked up a vase of Biolight flowers and threw it at the wall in a fit of rage and heartbreak. “JUST GO!!”

The terrified maid, leaves, narrowly avoiding the pottery shards that smashed off of the wall. Niran couldn’t help but smash up his room. His desk was flipped, his notes flying everywhere. His bed sheets ripped off the bed, tearing in the process, due to the delicately thin silk. He screamed in a mix of anger and sadness. Why did you leave him? He flung his wardrobe open, tearing out the dresses he brought for you, being too critical of each one. Remarking how they weren’t pretty enough, how they looked to common. How the fabric wasn’t fancy enough. Tearing each of them into shreds before laying in the heap of fabric, scream crying for you to come back to him. His world was on fire, much like the sky that burnt so brightly as the sun began to set.

A royal knight came running to his room, hearing the prince in such distress, and seeing a maid running from his room, in tears.

“My Prince! What’s the matter?!” His thick German accent boomed over the sounds he made.

“FIND HER!” Niran screamed at him. He was shaking, practically tearing his hair out over it all. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think straight. He just needed you. “MY MAID Y/N! FIND HER! PLEASE!! PLEASE SIR WILHELM! BRING HER BACK TO ME!!”

“Yes my Prince.”

——🪷——

You walked through the forest with such childlike wonder. The trees towered above you as the suns rays penetrated down through the leaves, which gently swayed in the breeze. If you weren’t so heartbroken, this would be such a lovely memory. You thought of Niran again. He would be in his element here. His gorgeous cream hair flowing gently in the winds currents. You imagined flower petals getting caught in his hair, only adding to his beauty. Nature was his domain. Maybe that’s why you headed into the forest. A gentle reminder of the man you loved.

“You’d love it here.. wouldn’t you..”

You wondered deeper and deeper still, enchanted by all the wildflowers. Niran would know all their names, he’d recite interesting facts about each one, before getting self conscious, embrrassed by it all. He had such a pretty outlook on life. A life he shared with lady Satya now. Your eyes stung with tears. Every flower. Every tree. Every woodland creature. Everything reminded you of him. It hurt. Maybe leaving wasn’t the best idea.. What if he missed you? What if you confessed? The wind picked up and it started to rain. The gentle droplets mixed with your tears as you looked up to see a blanket of reds and pinks stretch across the sky. It was getting dark, the sun tiring from its hard days work. A gust of wind blows you forward making you lose your balance and stagger into a tree with a light thud.

Whilst the day made the forest look so heavenly, the night made it look like a bad dream. The tall trees towering over you menacingly. The moonlight shattering through the canopy, illuminating the swaying branches. Shadows looking like assassins waiting to pounce on you. You spun around, realisation hitting you straight in the face. You were lost. The dark made it so hard to tell which way you had come from. You had no food. No water. Nothing. You weren’t suppose to wonder this far into the forest. People went missing here. You would be one of them. You let out a scream, desperately hoping someone would hear you. Secretly hoping Niran would hear you, though you knew you were too far and beyond help.

——🪷——

It had been days. Days since the search for you began. Days since he saw you. He had every guard in the damn castle looking for you. His sister called him ridiculous, but he didn’t care. He was a shell of his former self. He tried to join the search too but collapsed from exhaustion. He wouldn’t eat and barely drank, so it was no wonder he collapsed. He was sent to his room to rest which only made him worse. He felt so numb. His body shook from the lack of nutrition. He was in a bad way.

Things got so bad, lady Satya had to stay with him constantly. He didn’t do much besides cry and lash out in anger. At one point he grabbed a dagger and attempted to slash his wrist, just to feel something. She grabbed the blade however, her hand getting sliced in the process. Seeing her so hurt by his actions was enough to calm him for an hour or so, before the drama started up again.

Often he went to his window, staring up at the moon. He wondered if you were looking up at it too, thinking of him. Oh how he missed you. His gorgeous maid. His lovely flower.

“I know you’re somewhere out there.. somewhere far away..”

He got so ill with worry he couldn’t care for himself. His cream hair became matted and tangled. It pained lady Satya to see him this way. In all the years she had known him, he had never let himself fall into such disarray. Even as children, he was always the best dressed and best groomed.

“Let me brush your hair for you...”

“What’s the point.. It will only get messy again my lady..”

“Oh my Prince.. It displeases me to see you this way. She’ll be found. Have hope.”

“What good is hope when I feel this way… but.. if it pleases you to brush my hair.. then do so..”

She took a brush and sat on the bed behind him. His hair was an awful mess of tangles, mats, and knots. Depression wasn’t pretty for anyone. It was raw and emotional. This is the worst she had ever seen him. It’s almost like he had died. This wasn’t the Prince she adored. He was always the loudest one in the room. Always lighting up people’s faces with his warming personality. This man however was cold and lifeless.

“Ouch..” He groaned as the brush caught on a hard tangle.

“Do forgive me.. Niran..”

It was rare she ever called him his given name. Even as children, he was always ‘my Prince’. In this moment she wanted to show him she was more to him than a noble lady. She was his best friend and would support him as such. She was gentle to brush his hair out from then on, not wanting to cause him anymore pain than he was already in.

“Thank you.. Satya..”

“Yes.. It’s going to be okay Niran. Will you please eat today?” She continued to brush his hair, seeing it transform back into its usual texture.

“No.. I won’t eat until she’s found.”

“That could be never..”

“Then I shall perish… along with any hopes of romance that I once had.”

She wanted to scold him, but just couldn’t. He was stubborn but she was persistent too. She drew him a bath herself, knowing he wouldn’t want another maid in here. Not when he was so devastated over you.

“Perhaps a warm bath..”

“No..”

“And if she comes back? You want her to see a Prince that can’t even wash himself. Even commoners wash. Are you worse than a commoner? I’ve never known you to deny a chance to relax in warm water.”

Something stirred within him. On some level she was right. She was well educated of course, but even emotionally she tried her best. He sighed and laid down, body weak from the lack of food and water.

“Please Niran.. if not for yourself then for…”

She couldn’t finish that sentence anymore. It was clear that the Prince wouldn’t function without you. He wouldn’t do anything for her as long as you were missing. All his generosity gone. All the love he held for anyone, gone.

“Hmm..?”

“If not for yourself.. then for me.. if not for me… for her..”

“I said no.. I show you kindness because you are my closest confidant, my dearest friend. Do not make me repeat myself my lady.”

She sighed, opting not the waste the water, deciding she would use it to relax herself. One of them had to remain calm in this situation, and it wouldn’t be him.

——🪷——

The royal trumpets were like a lifeline for him. He shot out of bed, and ran to his window to get a glimpse of who was returning. Sir Wilhelm was hard to miss. He was a large man with a big personality. Once he saw him, he stared so intently looking for you. He held his breath, a little too long however, causing lady Satya to smack him for being so stupid. He kept searching for you. His gorgeous maiden. His lover.

Then he saw you.

“Y/N…”

A royal guard bridal carried you, on horseback, inside the castle walls.

“Y/N!!!” He screamed, bolting out the room and down the stone steps. He passed servants and maids who gasped at the state he was in. He didn’t care. He needed to get to you. It had been almost a week. Too long in his opinion. He just needed you. His flower.

Lady Satya ran after him, as best she could in heels and floor length dress. She lifted up her skirts, and ran as fast as her heels would carry her.The pair looked ridiculous. Some even remarking that they were having a ‘lovers tiff’ or that the Prince had ‘met his match’. It was almost comical.

Finally he made it outside just as the royal guards were dismounting their horses. He must have looked so deranged, screaming and raving about some lowly maid, but he didn’t care. He stumbled down the steps, tripping and almost tumbling down the remaining ones. Lady Satya shrieked at him, cursing him for being so careless, but it would be a miracle if he ever heard her over the sound of his own heartbeat.

“Y/N I MISSED YOU! OH MY LADY YOU HAVE NO IDE-“

He was stunned to silence when he saw your unconscious body. You had lost so much weight, the colour drained from your face. Your lips as dry as a desert. You looked so grubby it was hard to see your pretty face.

“Y/N..?”

“She’s alive my Prince. Barely. We gave her some water but we weren’t sure when the last time she ate or drank was.”

It took everything in him not to scream. Not to rip you away from the guards arms and hold you so close to him. Instead he dropped to his knees eyes closed so tight he started to see colours dance around from the strain. The guards stared unsure what to do. The Prince was usually so calm, so rational.

“Take her to the clinic!” Lady Satya screamed at them. “And for goodness sake get a meal started. Honestly..”

She hurried over to comfort her Prince, knowing how much pain he was in. He silently thanked her for being his voice, something he often did for her. She helped him up, practically dragging him up the steps, her dress ripping as he stood on it, making her sigh in frustration. She kicked off her heels and hauled him up as best she could, being his crutch as they walked to the clinic.

“You have servants for a reason, you are aware?”

——🪷——

He stayed by your side the whole time you were in the clinic. He was the one to clean you up, apologising for seeing you so exposed, when you weren’t even courting. He was the one to hold your hand when doctors came to examine you. He was the one breaking down in tears every night wondering why you left. The poor man had been loosing his mind so much that doctors started to question his own sanity. He didn’t leave, he didn’t tend to his duties, he didn’t give up.

Things got so bad he would pass out regularly before waking up screaming from nightmares about you being gone again. One time he fell out of his chair and woke up on the floor and panicked that he couldn’t see you. He worried you woke up without him knowing and left.

Slowly but surely doctors convinced him to eat, claiming it would help his mental state. He refused at first but was reminded by lady Satya that if he recovered first, he could help you recover later. Food tasted too good. The flavours burning his tongue. He could barely stomach the finer foods, opting for plain porridge and dry bread. It was easier to stomach. His water intake improved slowly and he agreed to have a bath, though it pained him to leave you for mere minuets. He worried you would wake up and he wouldn’t be there. A fear he had developed.

He started to feel like his old self again, doctors remarking how much progress he made just by looking after himself. It hardly mattered to him, he only cared about you. The Prince spent his days reading to you, teaching you about flowers and different types of fauna. It was a comfort for him, one he needed.

“The deer is quite remarkable Y/N.. Have you ever seen one? They are such beautiful creatures. I was lucky enough to touch one once.. such a soft coat.. Oh my lady, if you promise to wake, I promise to take you to see one.”

Surprisingly his father stopped by, wanting to see why his son was so interesting in a common maid. He watched as the Prince held your hand tenderly, sadly smiling at your face. He noticed that his son practically lived in the clinic with you, bringing his books and his silk blanket from his room. The blanket draped so lovingly over you.

“We hardly see you anymore, Prince Niran.”

The Prince nearly jumped out of his skin. He hadn’t realised that his father was there, too busy focusing on you. He scrambled to stand, his left hand crossing over his chest before he bowed to him.

“Father.. I.. hadn’t heard you come in..”

The King eyed you again, recognising you as the maid who resigned. He glanced back to his son, who very much looked like a deer in headlights.

“I just saw lady Satya not to long ago. She’s rather fond of you, and yet you spend all your time with this commoner. Why?”

The Prince sat down beside you again, hand running over his scalp. He couldn’t hide it any longer. He had to tell his father that he wouldn’t marry lady Satya. He had to explain how he loved you.

“Father.. me and lady Satya aren’t in love.. she’s a remarkable woman, truly a visionary...”

“But?”

“She’s a friend. A confidant. I’ll never experience true love with her. You know what that’s like, don’t you father?”

The King did know. He too had to marry a woman he didn’t love. His heart was set on another noble lady, but she had less status then Niran’s mother. It hurt him deeply to think of her now. The King sighed.

“Are you telling me, you the crown prince, heir to the throne, wish to marry a common maid.”

“Yes father.. I’m willing to give it all up. My status, my succession to the throne, my home, my wealth, my family. I love her.”

“She feels the same?”

The Prince laughed softly. He had no idea if you even felt the same way about him. Judging by the fact you kept the golden lotus necklace around your neck, he chanced a guess, praying to the gods that he was correct.

“Yes.”

“Then this must be why she resigned.” The King turned to leave the room. “Come and see me again when she wakes. We shall have a discussion.”

“Thank you father.”

——🪷——

The moment your eyes fluttered open, he was there. He had dozed off, still lovingly holding your hand. You felt dizzy, but compared to the sensation of your stomach eating itself days ago, you couldn’t complain. Prince Niran looked so peaceful asleep next to you. You wondered how long it had been, but judging by half of his things being in the clinic room, you guessed a while.

“My Prince..”

His eyes snapped open to the sound of your voice, meeting yours immediately. Overcome with joy he pounced, wrapping his arms around you like life depended on it, tears streaming.

“Oh my lady.. you scared me.. please never do that to me again. I fear my heart won’t take another round of such torturous pain.”

His words as smooth as ever. His courtship abilities strong. You wondered why you were still in the castle. You had resigned. That’s when Prince Niran explains everything to you. How he had the whole castle looking for you.

“Why did you leave.. Was I not good enough to you? I would like you to be honest. I am a Prince after all, it’s a crime to lie one. I already allow you to commit crimes on my heart.”

“You and lady Satya.. I.. didn’t want to watch as you fell in love, married and had kids. So.. I left..”

He was a bit surprised by your bluntness, but he did tell you to be honest. He was a little confused as to how you got to that conclusion, laughing softly when you mentioned the garden.

“Oh my dear. I was actually confiding in lady Satya to ask that she beg my father for a termination in our betrothal. I have eyes for another.”

“Oh..”

“If it wasn’t clear, my lady, that someone is you.”

You swore your heart stopped. He loved you. He was breaking off his engagement with lady Satya for you. He wanted to be with you. He could tell you were stunned, so he probed a little further.

“I am hoping that, well, you feel the same way I do my lady?”

“I- Yes.. but.. what about lady Satya?”

“She never was interested in me romantically. Hand on heart, she hates the idea of marriage and kids, and responsibility over the stupid things I do.”

He was so dramatic, but he did bring warmth to your cheeks. You let your mind wonder of what life could be like with him. He could look after you, like your parents always wanted for you. You missed them, but now they wouldn’t worry. You didn’t need comfort, luxury or finer things. You just needed Prince Niran.

“So? My lady, may I court you?”

Your lips landed on his. Fireworks exploding in his mind and yours. It was a pleasant Suprise for him. He could hardly complain. His shaky hands cupped your cheeks deepening the kiss, craving more of you. Your hands tangled up in his hair, wanting the same. His tongue felt so good against your own. Like it was made for just you. It was your first kiss and it felt so perfect, so right, so needed.

When you pulled away you caught a glimpse of him panting softly, eyes opening to stare at your lips again. A small smoulder appearing on his face before pulling you close for another kiss, deciding that one was no where near enough. He needed more of you. All of you.

——🪷——

“I promise you my lady, no matter what happens, I won’t let him belittle you.”

“I’m scared my prince..”

He squeezed your hand tighter, smiling at his pretty little maid all dressed up in a beautiful dress. He took pride in replacing all the ones he had destroyed. The new ones were much nicer anyhow. This one was a deep lavender with gold adornments. The bodice had lace flowers stitched into it, forming the most gorgeous sweetheart neckline. The sleeves were a ballooned shape, made of lavender lace with tiny Biolight vines sewn in. The skirt itself covered with gold stitched to form beautiful flowery shapes and vines. It was beautiful on you. Niran had it made especially for you. Lady Satya helped you change and even offered to do your hair, fixing a Biolight rose above your ear. Both of them did what they could, wanting you to look your best for an audience with the King and court.

“Oh don’t fear, you have not one, but two nobles in your corner! Yes, one’s a Prince and your lover.. and the other wants me to shut up… but wait till you see us persuade him!”

“Dramatic as ever my Prince.” Lady Satya rolled her eyes.

“Naturally.”

You weren’t so convinced that the King would say yes. The entire way to the throne room you panicked that he would laugh at you and call you nothing but a commoner. A lowly girl that wasn’t fit to marry a prince. Prince Niran however had a spring in his step. Lady Satya rolling her eyes again as he dramatically flung the throne room doors open, stunning the whole court to silence.

“Father!”

Confidence dripped off him. He was oozing with pride as he presented you to the court. You step forward, your heart pounding. Many people gasped and whispered about how you were just a commoner playing dress up, and how shameful this was for lady Satya, to see her fiancé so blatantly pining for another. You felt so out of place, wanting to run away again, and yet lady Satya took your hand and lead you further into the room.

“You know why I am here father. I wish to marry this woman. I will give up my status, wealth, place in line to the throne. Please father, your blessing.”

“What say you lady Satya? You seem rather calm about this.”

“With all due respect your highness, the Prince just isn’t someone I’m in love with romantically. I am honoured and humbled by you, but no, I do not wish for this life.”

The King stared at you with intense eyes, watching to see if you crumbled under the pressure. Instead you stepped forward and curtsied as best you could, holding the position until he told you otherwise.

“Rise my dear. Prince Niran, is this really what you want?”

“More than anything in the world father.”

“You’re willing to give it all up yes?”

“Right now if needed.”

He took off his crown and placed it neatly on the floor, taking a step back to show he cuts tied with it all. He was very serious about this. He didn’t want to run away in secret. He wanted a blessing.

“Very well. Then you shall have my blessing.”

The Prince turned to you, lifting you up and spinning you around in delight, before lowering you for a warm hug. You were stunned. You came in here prepared to fight for him. It was too easy. You couldn’t believe it. He so desperately wanted to kiss you, but thought it was best saved for a moment of privacy. He took your hand in his and turned to leave.

“Niran.”

“Yes father?”

“Pick up your crown. See that you show her the proper royal way to behave. If she is to be Queen someday then she’ll need the lessons.”

“You mean..?”

“No one said you had to give up your royalty. You’re a smart man, so see she learns fast. She’ll have to impress the court on your wedding day after all.”

Overjoyed, he bows, holding it for at least ten seconds before thanking his father and rising. You had no idea that this would be the outcome. Never in a million years, and yet, you were to be a Princess, and one day Queen of the court.

A fairy tale come true.

——🪷——

“How are you feeling my lady?”

“Scared. Shocked. Surprised. Take your pick.”

“Yes, it is a bit much isn’t it. The pressure will wear off soon. Once we have the wedding and have our first child-“

“Child?!”

Prince Niran grins. He was kidding. Children were important in a royal relationship, but he was happy to wait. Still the thought of having children with him someday wasn’t so bad. He was gorgeous in every way, your children would inherit that, you were sure.

“So my gorgeous little maid, will you marry me then?”

You watch as your gorgeous Prince drops to one knee, holding the most beautiful ring you had ever laid eyes on. The jewel itself was alive with a tiny Biolight lotus, that pulsed with power, enticing you to put it on. His smile was like starlight. He really loved you.

“Oh my sweet Prince. Did you really have to ask? Of course I’ll marry you.”

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