#bc medical bills :')
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Methinks its time to move back home actually
#i talked to my aunt about it and honestly like. i might as well#im broke im in a bunch of debt i have no access to medical insurance so i cant get therapy im alone depressed and my bills are always late#and ive been stuck in my apartment for months bc of this ridiculous registration shit for my car#so as much as i dont want to sell my car OR move im. thinking about it now#like at least id have the house almost to myself since my sibling moved out#and i could make the upstairs my own pretty much. plus ive been meaning to jelp renovate up there so#why not#plus i can save for tattoo stuff properly#i just feel like im giving up i was trying to prove i could care for myself and#I feel like ive proven km incapable pf being an adult bc of this it sucks#but at least my ma and my aunt are willing to help me as i figure shit out. im lucky to have them#mag.txt
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⚔️🦈
#twst#twisted wonderland#twst silver#floyd leech#suntails#adding tags retroactively bc i dont want to be too worrying. so ppl know my brother almost tried to . and i had to take care of it#and i got a 900 dollar medical bill today. and im unemployed. so it um. kinda broke the last straw. and twt has been miserable to touch#got in a small fight w my friend and i felt physically sick and ive been having little mini breakdowns like 3 times a day and im not used t#i dont get sad like this. i dont GET soul-crushingly upset. i dont get nervous. i normally j shut down and get thru stuff so im rly lost#sry for the vent i dont intend for it to act as such. i j wanted to give context for whats been going on bc a lot of ppl here r tumblr-Only#i rly liked this when i drew it bc i love silly meme outfits. i drew minions a lot when i was into hq so it felt like returning to my roots#im sure when i feel less empty ill be happy w this again
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U see i want to spend my time drawing stuff i simply cannot make money off of. Fan art. Or whatever. But alas i have gone into the business of Silly Little Items to buy with Disposable Income in an era where no one has disposable income. So dogs it is. I will draw more dogs.
#looks at my ocs.... im so sry bbys#one day. .. ..#also. i will b making a commissions post later#bc i have to purchase vendor insurance (it is 150$)#for dog show next month#and also my phone bill and my power bill and my medical debt and then the 550$ for rent#i am#not good at this#thx for sticking around i know how much u all love reading my nonsense posts about nothing in particular
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I want top surgery so bad I think I decided imma take out a credit card so I can pay for it in small increments over time cause idk if I'll ever have $15k in my bank account at one time. I'm gonna talk to my endo ab a referral, since I have an appointment next month to get my levels tested
#My only worry is support#Like physically#I won't be able to drive home or work or even get out of bed or shower for a good couple weeks#Which means I won't be able to make money in order to pay my bills#Like I only have one person ik of who MIGHT help but idk if she can handle me being that dependent on her for that long#My parents def won't bc my mom said a long time ago that I have to be solely financially responsible for my medical transition
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two tries on two separate days and i STILL can't get ahold of the new endocrinologist's new patient scheduling assistant argh. hopefully they actually call me back this time. on the bright side i did manage to get through to billing (despite their horrible phone tree and even more horrible connection, it sounded like they were speaking through a frayed wire) and get them to update my insurance information and actually bill my insurance for my recent telehealth visit bc there was no way in hell i was gonna pay their upfront unadjusted cost for a thirty minute zoom call with my pcp without them at least TRYING to ping my insurance first
#oh the wonders and joys of the american healthcare system#and i'm lucky bc i have reasonably decent coverage through my parents still too#but. boy i sure do have medical expenses...#anyway they never billed my insurance in the first place because they never updated to my new policy?#despite me entering it like. twice?? since then?#whatever . as long as they do it now#a telehealth visit SHOULD be covered. at least partially. i sure hope so bc i have to do another one next month#i understand being charged for the telehealth visit i really do. especially considering i got two referrals and two prescriptions out of it#but still. this is why i HAVE insurance...use it please#anyway now i'm hoping insurance will cough up a good portion of that billing statement#and that endocrinology will actually call me back and let me schedule a new patient visit.#because i am TIRED! of my old endocrinologist#they're not bad but i'm tired of every visit for three years hearing the same thing and seeing nothing change#and because they're in a different state from where i currently live it makes getting lab results back a right pain in the ass.#so i'd like to swap providers. and it'll be easier to manage if they're in the same system as my pcp which is what i'm trying to do...#i wanna talk about me
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when people send me "asks" asking me to donate to help them afford medical stuff for their diabetes... girl, i can't even afford to pay for things for MY OWN diabetes, let alone yours.
#kinqzaddy#im literally getting so fucking sick of asks like this that i might just fucking turn them off#i get like 5 spam asks a day about palestine that i know are fake af bc its accounts with virtually the same name sending the same exact ask#like i'll block them and suddenly another account with a similar name pops up in my asks#I CANT AFFORD TO DONATE#I LIVE PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK#IM LUCKY IF I EVEN HAVE MONEY TO BUY MYSELF FOOD AFTER BILLS COME OUT EVERY WEEK#plus i now have to pay out of pocket for medical expenses bc i have no health insurance so thats super fun#considering i have numerous medical issues
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this isnt what i usually post on this blog but I'm already sick of all the memes and 'jokes'. I am almost certainly leaving the fandom for good now because of the book of bills release and NO it is not because billford's community has an influx of supporters.
So the worship and romanticization of asylums and other abusive practices for mental health have been steadily gaining traction in recent years, especially with the rise of tiktok's toxicity.
SO many people, especially younger people, regularly talk about how they want lobotomies or how women they don't like should be lobotomized. They get tattoos of lobotomy like it's some quirky fun thing and not one of the most horrific tortures someone can endure.
These same people, ESPECIALLY leftists, will look at anyone they disagree with or don't like and say "get institutionalized, loser" or "et therapy" and it's always in a mocking way. it's always in a policing way.
because these people know that mental wards strip everyone of their freedom and their bodily autonomy. they know these places arent for healing--theyre for silencing.
So the amount of people i see treating bill being institutionalized like a good thing---even the writers and alex himself?
Yeah. Im out ✌🏼
#you people try to act quirky and say you like weird stuff and you like crazy people and hate normies#but then when someone isnt a normie and actually does want to change things in radical ways you want to put them in an asylum#i do not want to interact with any of you people!#i still love gravity falls (obviously) but im just... so over the fandom at this point.#even people who LIKE bill are trying to act like this is all a good thing#guess what asylums dont help :) they almost always make things worse!#so in reality if bill ever got out he would just be 100x worse and more vengeful than before! congrats.#Play stupid games get stupid prizes!#gravity falls#antipsych#i seriously dont understand why anyone things mental wards are in any way different than how they used to be a hundred yeears ago.#because they arent. at all. like literally at all.#they forcefully medicate you with pills that you dont need and that actively harm you bc random ass nurses diagnose you with#someething different every other day and ust give you a new pill for every diagnosis#i know someone who was put on antipsychs when not only do they not have a psych disorder but they had a heart condition and#nearly died bc of it. I myself was put on three different pills the very night i went in. they never#even hesitated to wait and see if i would have a bad reaection or if i reeally needed it.#bc why would they when heavily meedicating you makes you unable to think or reaelize what theyre doing is extremely unethical?#i saw multiple people held down and strapped to their beds and given sedatives for doing nothing at all. For simply asking questions.#I saw staff harass and mock and disrespect very speciifc kids (specifically the poc kids.)#I saw staff lie and try to incite fear in other kids and myself.#one of them told me the night before i was cleared for release tat if i said 'im fine' at any point they would keep me for another month.#and that if i didnt continue to take the meds (ssris) that i was overdosing on that they would come grab me in a van and bring me back#against my will.#Keep in mind i was here based off of lies. There was no real reason for me to be in that asylum.#So yeah. literally dont come on this post trying to defend asylums bc i PROMISE you i have more experience in the reality than you#ever could.#Theyre horrible and romanticising it even against a fictional villain is repulsive behavior.
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living in america is literally just like. yeah i could probably benefit from inpatient mental health services but honestly the resulting medical bills would just make me want to kill myself even more
#eliot posts#i'm not in active danger of hurting myself don't worry#just experiencing some Ideations#but i have a long mental list of reasons not to act on those ideations so i'm safe don't worry#ironically one of those reasons is ''i couldn't afford the medical bills for a failed attempt''#suicide mention#suicide tw#tw suicide#american healthcare my beloathed#dogshit private insurance my beloathed#also ironically one of the (multiple) contributing factors towards this fresh wave of ideations is a medical bill i got yesterday#it's nothing too ruinous but it is A LOT like would utterly wipe out my savings level#my parents said they can help me with it (as much as i hate accepting things from them)#and as soon as i mentioned it my very sweet cousin just. sent me the money it would take to cover it#with a ''yeah i trust you'll pay me back once you get a good job like looking at your major you'll be making a lot eventually''#and i've already requested an itemized bill as well as the paperwork for the hospital's financial assistance program#(tho idk how much assistance i'll actually be eligible for bc i'm still legally a dependent)#so hopefully i'll be able to get that bill cut way down#it's just eugh it's so stressful and i had a full on panic attack on the phone with my insurance company yesterday#and my brain's fav response to crushing stress is just ''well we wouldn't have to handle any of this if we Just Fucking Died! :)''
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Emergency Commissions
Taking commissions to pay off my medical bill ;u;
I'm an illustrator based in LA who's obtained their BFA in Illustration+Animation at CSULB. Currently working on my EMT certification. I've been an artist in about 25 zines and anthologies; working on page art, covers and merch. I'm also currently an Art Mod in one zine. (All zines listed in my portfolio)
I have a patreon re-opened.
ALL LINKS HERE: Linktr . ee / seasideflora
Please share if you can.
#medical bills#commissions open#emergency commissions#fanart#marvel#legend of zelda#final fantasy#I know this bill isn't a lot for some but I'm drowning in debt rn#I went in for heart issues and they had me wait 7 hours before seeing me and then told me they don't know whats wrong with me bc i seem#healthy basically took an expensive nap
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LMAO i just saw this girl on tiktok write out her dream lifestyle and how much she would need to make for it. and she got 215k a year. so just for fun i was like ok let me throw out some crazy numbers. the most extravagant life that i can imagine living. and it came out to 50k a year😭
#this is why i truly think i will be ok on a teacher’s salary#bc i have been paying for all of my bills since i was 18 on a MUCH lower amount of money#i tried to imagine spending like. 500-600 a month on groceries and it was unthinkable#and giving myself 5k a year for vacations??#i could even go international with that#And this is with like. aggressively paying down my debt#it’s not counting medical tho. but then again i literally do not go to the doctor ever even if i’m dying#which all my friends are concerned about but it is ingrained in me and i cannot change it#cant afford it anyway so like. whatever#i either die or not i guess#anyway this does make me feel better bc at the very least even if i can’t find a college/university job after grad school#i should be very ok on a teacher’s salary#ik no one cares but. it is the middle of the night and who would i be if not a rambler and a worrier#personal
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We did it Joe (OCD diagnosis)
#cried my eyes out but it went well I think#psychiatrists are kinda scary but she was nice. just like. I felt like she was judging me in the moment 😭#but in retrospect (sitting in the parking lot lol) she was nice…#I didn’t really verablize everything I wanted to buuut I still got a prescription soooo 💪#we’ll see how it goes. I’m really scared of medication lol but I’m gonna take half a pill at first bc I am a Baby#anyway feeling good (?) now :’) it’s a weird feeling#yay#she also ordered ADHD testing for me so ummm. we’ll see! I think it’s gonna be super expensive copay#even now I’m really worried about how much the copay for this is gonna be bc they’re just billing me o_o#she said the prescription was cheap but didn’t tell me how much soooo… 🤞😅#ellyposting
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FINALLY got some pictures of some of the needlefelts i have to put on my etsy lol.
#pokemon#arcanine#ampharos#id' rather not sell the arcanine i wanna keep it bc of how cute it is bu skdhksdhs 5k+ of medical bills :/#i can make another one tho
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so fucking busy the rest of the year. being alive is awesome :]
#i have 4 classes this semester and 2 of them r music relateddd i love my major#my financial aid package FINALLY PROCESSED after like 7 months lol#so i just have to figure out disbursement#i have surgery in october to have a hysterectomy and oophorectomy#and then i am gonna be out of work for 4 weeks (but still doing classes lol...)#and i have 2 more cohorts to facilitate#and a training video and some projects to pull together#and a brainstorm session tomorrow#and im going to a baseball game for work on thursday!!!!! exciting!!!!!!!!!!#and if my finaid is as much as theyre saying it will be my rent for the rest of the year is paid#which would mean all my paychecks can go directly to#medical costs and other bills n savings#which puts me so fucking closer to moving out next year#if i play my cards right i can pay all my debts between now and march/april of next yesr#and then i will be able to fucking!!!!!!! move!!!!!!!#wait guys im emotional i had a shitty medical procedure i had to endure as part of pre op a d#literally in the last hour im back to feeling so fucking energized#ohhh my gd i love being alive please please please lef this work out#im gonna stART PLANNING W MY FRIENDS FOR A SPRING TRRIP NEXT YEAR?#AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! maybe even planning another trip w 19 bc i saw a cool cabin to stay in LMAO#just. yells. oh my gd#please please let this work out even 50% of the way of what it looks like it could be
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sorry for quiet lol. dealing with a lot
#logging back in briefly just to say I'm not ignoring anyone#healing seems like it's going not good at this point and a lot of emotional stuff going on#I don't regret top surgery but it's been rough healing the last like week and a half and idk if I'm gonna have to go to urgent care#so idk what medical bills might look like for that if I do and I am already still paying off the actual surgery#on top of trying to look for a car bc mine shit the bed and I'm borrowing my sister's old one for now but this isn't a permanent solution#so mental and emotionally and now also physically I've just been like. idk. having a rough go of it for the last few weeks#I'm trying my best. I wish my best was better
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I know y’all follow me for South Park Insanity, but I have a personal PCE win to share
(Medical and ED stuff mentioned so below the cut)
I mentioned a while back that for the past few months I’ve been struggling with lack of appetite and inability to keep anything down, steadily devolving into malnutrition and being legitimately scared about it. And try as I had been, I have had no energy to make progress and have only gotten worse. Early in the morning after another sleepless night and after involuntarily throwing up the only food I’d been able to eat for a few days at 1 am, I finally dragged my broke uninsured ass to the emergency room as soon as it opened, shaking and dizzy and scared out of my mind.
Y’all. The doctors and the nurses were so helpful and patient even as I was actively panicking, listening to the root cause of it all, administering zofran and hooking me to what’s apparently called a “banana bag” with every vitamin imaginable bc IT TURNS OUT my ass is deficient in SO MUCH SHIT. I felt the best I have in months after discharge, all day. I even had the energy to spend the day on the couch with my partner instead of lying in bed PLUS THE ENERGY TO GO FOR A FUCKING WALK AFTER EATING A SOLID MEAL (and drinking a shit ton of orange juice ofc) while we waited for my scrip to be filled!!! I genuinely don’t remember the last time I was able to just leisurely enjoy the sun and grass.
And bonus: I got a prescription for an anti nausea medication and apparently a side effect is drowsiness (so I have a few days off work to adjust to that which I got mixed feelings about) so I might actually get some sleep coming up!
I’m a huge hypocrite I know, but listen to your body when you need outside help. It’s scary and hard but I feel worlds better already. 💚
#take care of yourself#not sp#personal#probable ed tw#medical shit#I ate TWO!!! ACTUAL FULL MEALS TODAY and they’re STAYING DOWN#though I’m so fucking worried about medical bills but hey that’s a problem for when I’m more solidly recovered#and my partner was so stoked that I actually hung out with him instead of laying in bed all day#I’ve put him through so much with my mental and physical health I’m so glad I can stop doing that#he went with me to Walgreens and when I finally got out of that long ass line he had procured a basket of my favorite drinks#and easy on the stomach stuff because he knows I’ll want to start slow#I want to cry bc I genuinely don’t remember feeling this okay since maybe last October#stay winning#all I need now if for my beloved Sickfic Queen to make her triumphant return#RANT gorlie healing arc
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Love getting $50 in overdraft fees for a fucking dollar banks are a scam and I’m getting violent
#it’s not like I have two thousand dollars in medical bills I’m struggling to pay off#and another $200 for dental work I got saddled with bc my dentist is incompetent#kill me#vent
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