#I ate TWO!!! ACTUAL FULL MEALS TODAY and they’re STAYING DOWN
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1moreoffkeyanthem · 7 months ago
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I know y’all follow me for South Park Insanity, but I have a personal PCE win to share
(Medical and ED stuff mentioned so below the cut)
I mentioned a while back that for the past few months I’ve been struggling with lack of appetite and inability to keep anything down, steadily devolving into malnutrition and being legitimately scared about it. And try as I had been, I have had no energy to make progress and have only gotten worse. Early in the morning after another sleepless night and after involuntarily throwing up the only food I’d been able to eat for a few days at 1 am, I finally dragged my broke uninsured ass to the emergency room as soon as it opened, shaking and dizzy and scared out of my mind.
Y’all. The doctors and the nurses were so helpful and patient even as I was actively panicking, listening to the root cause of it all, administering zofran and hooking me to what’s apparently called a “banana bag” with every vitamin imaginable bc IT TURNS OUT my ass is deficient in SO MUCH SHIT. I felt the best I have in months after discharge, all day. I even had the energy to spend the day on the couch with my partner instead of lying in bed PLUS THE ENERGY TO GO FOR A FUCKING WALK AFTER EATING A SOLID MEAL (and drinking a shit ton of orange juice ofc) while we waited for my scrip to be filled!!! I genuinely don’t remember the last time I was able to just leisurely enjoy the sun and grass.
And bonus: I got a prescription for an anti nausea medication and apparently a side effect is drowsiness (so I have a few days off work to adjust to that which I got mixed feelings about) so I might actually get some sleep coming up!
I’m a huge hypocrite I know, but listen to your body when you need outside help. It’s scary and hard but I feel worlds better already. 💚
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whatifyoulivelikethat · 4 years ago
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tuxedo iv, m | myg
pairing(s): yoongi x reader, mentions of previous jungkook x reader
summary: Your life? Oh, it’s normal. Your cat turned into a man yesterday and you just now humped his leg to orgasm. Sorry, what? That’s not normal? O-Of course, it is! It’s like... having a roommate! You argue because you recorded him without his consent. You eat noodles that he’s trying not to bat at all meal. There are skeletons in your closet. Your fingers get stuck in a Chinese finger trap and then you get fingered. Totally normal, by the way!
warnings: rated M (18+) for language, mentions of the coronavirus pandemic; possibly full-on crack; Yoongi LOVES his box; smut (fem reader, mild restraint, penetrative sex, forced orgasms, intentional voyeurism (tsk tsk, Shooky), fingering); domestic and soft moments with your cat-man; non-idol!AU - cat!Yoongi x human!reader; ft shy boy Jeon Jungkook (gasp!!!) POV and bestfriend!Kim Seokjin POV; breaking of the fourth wall; you ARE a furry, oh well
yes, I reference Jin’s iconic Billboard interview answer, The Lion King (1994), Yoongi’s BTS café cereal milkshake, Bill Nye the Science Guy, PENTAGON’s ‘DO or NOT’ / ‘Shine’ / ‘Humph!”, “you got no jams”, The Addams Family (1991) – also there’s a bit of a meme scavenger hunt, I reference too many to list XD
part i | part ii | part iii
-
So.
You kinda.
Humped your cat-man’s thigh to orgasm.
You animal.
“Ah… Yoongi,” you started as your cat… man tilted his head, blinking slowly. Unnerving. Why was he staring like that? It reminded you of his previous cat self, where Shooky would watch you with his minty-green eyes, cat face expressionless, whiskers unmoving. What were cats thinking about all the time anyway?
Better yet, what the fuck was Min Yoongi thinking?
You knew what you were thinking. You were thinking that you couldn’t stare at you cum stain on his pink silk pajama leg all day, because that was a master yikes. He had tons of clothes still piled next to the front door of your apartment. All you had to do was convince him to change his outfit. Simple. Easy. Don’t make this weird. Be casual. Be cool as a cucumber. Chill out.
“Um… You should… take off the pajamas… so I can wash them… there are still more clothes you need to try on from the order, right…?”
Your dignity threw up their hands. Why do I even bother being here? I get ignored, the brain in here is smoother than KY Jelly on glass, and you would know, wouldn’t you, you–
“Take them off for me.”
“… P… Pardon?”
“I’m joking.”
He raised an eyebrow, glancing down at your raised hands. You abruptly dropped them, shoving them behind your back. When did that happen? Why did you make grabby hands like that? Surely not because you were expecting anything, right? Definitely not. Not you.
You need help. 
Yoongi turned around, black fur tall swishing, the back of his pink silk pants half-lowered. Your jaw went slack, only to forcefully shut back into place as you realized he was still wearing his black boxer briefs since you had spent yesterday sewing tail holes in his convenience store underwear. Of course, he was still wearing them. There was no reason to take them off.
What, did you want to look at his booty again or something?
(Yes.)
He went through the doorframe of your bedroom without saying a word. 
Hold on a second.
Did Yoongi let you ride his thigh to orgasm, be sweet to you for two seconds, only to fucking bounce without a peep of acknowledgment? Just fucking yeet? Act like that was totally ordinary behavior and saunter off?
Say sike right now.
A millisecond of bravery shot through you and you bolted out of your chair, your desk rattling with your sudden action.
"Yoongi–!"
You nearly collided into him. You weren’t expecting him to be facing you and you yelped in surprise, skidding on your heels. His hands stopped your hips, freezing you in place so you didn't barrel headfirst into his chest. You flailed about, struggling to regain your balance. All this happening while he continued giving you that deadpan stare. Did anything faze this (cat) man? Shit, you were too close to his face. So close you could feel his breath on your nose. 
"You should change too."
Brain malfunctioning at the softness of his tone.
"... W-What?"
Then your neck, ears, face, even your past and future self, the whole timeline became hotter than a supernova, brain erupting into nuclear fusion as Yoongi's deft fingers slid up to the waistband of your leggings, hooking underneath, stroking your skin. He leaned forward, dark eyes out of your vision, chin hovering above your shoulder. 
"Urk?!"
He started pushing your leggings down. 
He started.
Pushing.
Them. 
DOWN!!!
"You can't stay like this all day, right?" Yoongi murmured gently, voice so deep it was resonating in your empty brain, completely clear of all thoughts except those cool fingers pushing your black leggings down, the skintight fabric catching your soaked panties and taking those on the path to hell too, which was probably where you were headed at the rate this was going. "It would be a good idea to change clothes, I think."
You think, Yoongi?
Not you. 
You don't have think. 
A shrill barrage of low meowing cut through the silence.
Your phone was ringing violently in your room. Yoongi paused, backing up with a frown.
"Why is your ringtone a cat chattering?" he asked, tilting his head quizzically. The continuing sonata of cat chitters escalated before his dark eyes narrowed in recognition. He glared at you and pulled his hands away from your hips, snapping you out of your daze.
"You recorded me?"
"What, what, what?" You blinked rapidly, hearing the familiar sharp chirps and barks of Shooky the cat yelling at birds outside the window. "Oh! Well, yeah... it was funny," you explained weakly, trying to shake out the fog of your horny brain. 
"There's nothing funny about trespassers," Yoongi hissed, turning his heel and swiftly marching away. 
"Trespassers?" you echoed, blinking in confusion. That’s why he yelled at them as a cat? Did he think he owned all the land the sun touches or something? The sound was getting louder and louder, indicating the call was about to be missed. No time to think about it. You rushed back into your room, nearly half tripping with your leggings only partway on your ass, scrambling to answer your phone. There was an uncomfortable squish between your legs. Yikes. You did need to change. 
"Hello? Oh, yes, the video? I'm putting it in the Dropbox right now," you babbled, clicking out of a bizarre pop-up ad with some brown-haired guy in a sienna floral shirt and a boxy smile before placing the exported video in the shared Dropbox folder. 
"Sorry, yeah, I know I usually have it done earlier. It's been a weird couple of days..."
-
Kim Seokjin was furious. 
Furious! 
His best friend ignored his face. His beautiful face! How could she! He fumed, deciding to instead spend his time wisely, as he always did.
He stared at his reflection and nodded, stroking his chin. Yes. A true winner. Look at that brilliant smile. Perfect. He looked great today, as he did every day. Seokjin looked away from the mirror on his desk and went back to his MapleStory life.
-
After a quick change and final edits of the completed video sent off to the client, you left your room to find that Yoongi had stacked his new clothes on the coffee table. The brown cardboard box was on the sofa with him (???), as if it was a human being instead of an ordinary box. He had neatly folded the plastic packaging and placed it on the kitchen counter so you could sort it into the correct recycling. 
"Oh... thanks."
He was now wearing a white t-shirt and black pants that actually seemed like they fit, the back of said pants halfway down his butt to accommodate for his tail. He was watching that historical drama; eyes glued the television. The dark brown orbs were hidden by his curtain of black hair. His pointed black ears were turned away from your direction, as if he had no desire to listen to anything you had to say.
As usual.
Yoongi's response was grunting disapprovingly at you. 
You sighed, feeling a little guilty.
"To be fair, I couldn't really ask your consent when you were a cat."
Your cat-man appeared to be out of fucks to give. "You should do laundry," he huffed gruffly. 
You scooted away awkwardly. "Er... yeah. Let me order some delivery for lunch first..."
-
"Yoongi."
"What?"
"What are you doing?"
He stared at his chopsticks, holding them up high. 
"Hmm..."
His pink lips twisted, narrowing his eyes. The fingers in his other hand twitched. He had been staring at the noodles in his ramen for the past five minutes. They were probably cold now. You were getting a bit worried that he didn't like carbs or something. But then you realized that wasn't the case.
His fingers twitched again. 
"They're noodles. Not string."
Yoongi didn't reply, itching to bat at the long noodles. 
"Just put them in your mouth."
He gave you this look. As if to tell you, you don't usually say that. Usually someone else tells you that. 
You thinned your mouth into a line. 
"I know you're admiring the skinny legend that is noodles, but, yes, they're edible. Need I remind you that you used to eat string and I had to pull it out of your mouth when you choked on it?"
Yoongi scowled. Apparently, he did not like being reminded. It wasn’t that pleasant for you to remember either. At least you never had to wait until it passed through his body and never had to pull it out of the other end (ew). He peered them for several more seconds before putting them in his mouth. You noticed his ears perked up as he ate. 
"You like them?" you asked.
He hummed, not looking at you. Was Yoongi still angry about the recording thing? You weren't changing your ringtone regardless of his dissatisfaction. It was cute. You liked it. And he was being a drama queen, acting all catty.
Hold on. 
He was a cat. 
(Man.)
-
"What is this?"
"Dessert."
You took a sip and choked a little at the grainy taste. 
"Is that cereal?"
"Yeah. It's too hard. Better this way."
You gawked at him, holding the weird cereal milkshake with one hand and his half-sewn pants in the other. Was Yoongi being serious or fucking with you? You couldn't tell. His expression was completely neutral. His cat ears were straight up, trained in your direction, judging your reaction. He lifted his free hand and dropped a handful of rice crisps on the top of the thick white drink.
Well. 
Not your preferred thick white drink. 
(You nasty.)
He nodded sagely and sat down beside you. 
"Show me how to sew."
-
We interrupt your regularly scheduled program for you to, please, consider the following. 
See, by all recommendations of building healthy relationships, you should have been a responsible human being and had a serious, but necessary, conversation with your (new?) cat-man. 
Hey, Yoongi, I find you quite physically attractive and we had that moment in my bedroom, so maybe there's some chemistry and, oh, I don't know, maybe you could stick that prefect looking dick inside me because I've been thinking about it nonstop since (checking watch) the literal second I realized it existed, not to be too forward or anything, you know?
That kind of speech could get you a quick restraining order in most cases, but this was your cat (man) who had lived with you – maybe against his will but, then again, he got fed regularly and when you were previously a stray you can’t complain.
So. 
Do or not?
Hmm...
You could have admitted these things, but, alas, this was not the way. No, the way was to remain an absolute fucking mess every time Yoongi leaned over your shoulder to inspect your needlework, nearly stabbing yourself in the finger, your heart leaping your throat, strangling yourself with anxiety. 
Fun!
Could everything be quickly solved by telling the truth?
Debatable. Yoongi didn’t seem like the kind of (cat) man to give you a straight answer. Not because he couldn’t. Mostly because he seemed to enjoy watching you struggle. Were you picking up on that? 
No. You were too busy thinking about dick. 
His dick. 
Honestly, don't know if you should laugh or cry right now. 
-
Jeon Jungkook flipped his phone around and around in his hand, scrunching up his face.
Should he say something?
Yes. No. Yes? No. Yes… No, no, no.
He sighed and threw his phone onto his bed.
He missed and it slid off, hitting the floor. 
That was a bad sign.
“Shit.”
He dived onto the bed, scabbing around on the hardwood to pick up the fallen device. Ah, how come he was thinking about this now? He knew why. He had watched a funny cat video of a tuxedo cat and it reminded him of a certain naughty little fluffball always following around a certain owner. Jungkook hadn’t contacted said owner in nearly a year. Wouldn’t it look bad if he said anything now? But he couldn’t not think about it either. That smile was on his mind all the time now. That feeling from back then, floating around in his head. He sighed again, followed by inhaling with his upper teeth pressed against his inner lower lip, creating a loud sucking sound that no one else could hear because he lived alone.
Alone.
Jungkook lifted his phone, dying sunlight reflecting off the screen, a shine that blinded him for a short moment. He clicked his tongue, squinting as he spied the number still on the screen.
“Ah, why am I always a loser in front of love?”
He wasn’t really saying it to anyone in particular. No one could reply to him anyway.
He tossed the phone carelessly on the pillow and it slid behind it, falling in between the mattress and the bedframe.
“Shit!”
Jungkook spent five minutes fishing his phone out of the narrow crevice before firmly placing it on the bed beside him, pointing at it angrily, glaring at it.
“No! Bad.”
The phone did nothing. It was not sentiment.
Humph! He let out a frustrated puff of breath and flopped down on the bed.
His phone flew up from the force of his flop and smacked him in the nuts.
“SHIT!”
-
“Huh, you pick up things so fast. So meticulous.”
You watched as Yoongi brought the needle through the fabric in slow but clean strokes, following your previous demonstration. For someone who only had opposable thumbs for less than two days, he was surprisingly dexterous. Seemed like he could do a lot with his hands. No. Stop that. Stop being weird.
“Are you a genius?”
Yoongi didn’t hesitate, not looking up.
“Of course.”
You regretted asking. He continued, oblivious to your annoyed expression.
“I’m a cat.”
“All cats are geniuses?” you retorted disbelievingly.
“Most of them are.” His eyes flickered to you, eyebrows raising. “Compared to humans anyway.”
Was this a dig at you and your missing brain cells after running into things chasing after him and your brain exploding at his hotness? Which he wasn’t, by the way. Yeah, that’s right. Take that, Min Yoongi! You’re being mean, so therefore your attractiveness points are going down in this brain, yes, they are and there’s nothing you can do about it, yup, absolutely NOTHING–
He held up the pants, showing off his handiwork.
“Did I do a good job?”
His voice was soft, unsure, head slightly tilted, velvety ears eagerly perked to listen to your response.
Oh no.
Oh nooo.
Oh nooooooo.
He’s cute.
“Yeah. That looks amazing, Yoongi,” you heard yourself saying, smiling at him.
His fair-skinned cheeks flushed pink, lowering the pants quickly to snip the excess thread off, placing the needle in the cat-shaped pincushion like you had done earlier so he could carefully tie a knot to seal his hard work.
Shit.
You were whipped for him.
Damnnit.
To be honest, nothing had changed. You were whipped for him as a cat too.
“I’m going to clear out some space the closet so you have somewhere to put your clothes, okay?”
“A-ah… Thanks…” he mumbled, picking up another pair of pants. Jeans this time.
“Oh, with these you can simply cut the hole. No need to sew because this type of fabric won’t fray too much. Ah, but not directly on the seam. Maybe here?” You pointed slightly to the right of the back middle seam. Your mouth kept talking despite not having any more instructions for him. “Did you know the butt rip was fashionable among women for a little while? Under the pocket though, not the center. That’s just weird.”
Yoongi tilted his head the other way.
“Women are weird,” he said in a deadpan voice.
You narrowed your eyes. “Oi.”
He picked up the scissors, raising an eyebrow at you. “Are you not weird?”
You opened your mouth to reply, but nothing came out. He’s got you there. Shit. You puffed your cheeks and turned around, stalking off to your bedroom. Why was he always right? One day, he won’t be right and you’ll mark it on your fucking calendar. Humph.
You slowed at your doorframe, remembering his sheepishly proud face as he showed off his sewing. Crap. What was Min Yoongi so cute for? And how were you supposed to look at other guys after knowing your cat (man) was so damn adorable? And observant and diligent? And driven to be independent, asking questions and trying to do things on his own not even forty-eight hours after becoming human? Cooking, sewing, folding his own clothes… what’s next, playing the fucking piano?
Yeah, right.
You snorted and went into your bedroom.
-
“What’s this?”
You looked up, half-buried in idol merchandise you didn’t even know you had. How long had these sweatshirts been sitting here in their plastic packages? And these posters left in the tubes at the back of your closet? You shouldn’t own so much stuff. You should sell it. You weren’t going to, because these were limited edition items and you would have to be crazy to sell stuff with the cute faces of your favorite idols. You stuck you head out of the closet to see what Yoongi was referring to.
��What? Oh, that?”
You wheezed in embarrassment, ducking back in the closet, pretending to be busy.
“Uh… so… YouTube and Twitch had a crackdown on using copyrighted music and I thought, well, maybe I could maybe make my own, so I brought a keyboard but, uh…”
You rubbed the back of your head sheepishly, trying to figure out how to say you had no musical inclination and only had the ability to appreciate it.
“Basically, I got no jams.”
The keyboard was still in its box. You had opened it and attempted to learn piano, but well, you were shit. Also, you gave up pretty quickly. It was embarrassing considering you had spent so much money on it and were all confident when buying it, only for it to become a hidden occupant in the back of your closet. This was before Shooky – er, Yoongi – had come into your life. Yes. It had been there for literal years.
“I was going to donate it,” you added with a sigh.
You suddenly noticed something out of the corner of your eye. You frowned and reached in, grabbing the thin, hard object before pulling it out.
A…
Skeleton in your closet.
A long-lost Halloween decoration? Why was this here?
“Can I have it?”
You looked up, holding the mysterious plastic skeleton like a small child. “What?”
Yoongi pointed to the keyboard box, black tail swishing rapidly. There was a liveliness in his dark brown eyes and his pointed ears were sticking straight up. You narrowed your eyes.
“You don’t want that skinny box for some reason, do you?” you accused.
He pursed his lips at you, scowling. “No, you can throw away the box. I want to keep the keyboard.”
Huh? “Uh… okay, I guess. More space in the closet, I suppose. Oh, wait…” You stumbled into the back of the closet, feeling around. “I brought a stand for it, hold on… fuck!” You jammed your finger against a metal pole and howled, quickly retreating your hand to massage it. Fuck, that hurt! Scowling, you reached back in to grab the metal keyboard stand and yank it out from between your tightly packed clothes.
“Are you dead?”
“Shit!”
You jumped nearly ten feet, almost banging your head on the clothing rail if it wasn’t for Yoongi’s swift movement of grabbing your shoulders, pulling you to him. He didn’t have to pull far, because he was right behind you. How did he always sneak up on you when he wore a damn bell around his neck that announced his presence? Sorcery. Aliens. Voodoo witchcraft. Now you were convinced these things existed.
(Your cat turning into a man wasn’t enough for you to believe in magic? What’s wrong with you?)
“You’re really clumsy,” Yoongi remarked.
No, you’re spooky, you thought. One of your hands was on his chest. Instant heart palpitations. And handsome. Crap.
“Are you going to do something weird again?”
Weird? You were never weird. What was this man going on about? You needed to reprimand him. Put him in his place! Enough is enough, Min Yoongi! You can’t win over me every time! You raised your head to face him, opening your mouth to give him a piece of your mind.
Yoongi was centimeters away from your face.
You froze.
Ice effect overlapping your whole body.
You dropped the keyboard stand.
Thankfully, it simply fell against your clothing, leaning against your sweatshirts. It stayed upright, held up by the clothing. You didn’t have to worry about it for the time being. It was perfectly fine, unlike you. You were not fine. Not fine at all, staring at Yoongi’s upturned upper lip and unreadable dark brown eyes, slowly blinking at you. Hands on your shoulders, holding you close to him.
Not letting go.
!!!
-
Jeon Jungkook placed his phone on his desk and chopped the air, threatening it.
It wasn’t sentient.
He still didn’t trust it.
He glared at his phone angrily and shuffled back to his bed to have a nice, calm rest that didn’t involve his nuts getting destroyed. Ugh. He was bored. He had plenty to do. Schoolwork. Studying. Cleaning his room covered in clothes. Attempting to cook.
Jungkook made a face at the ceiling.
The last time he tried to cook some glazed sweet potatoes they had been glued to the plate somehow. A neat magic trick, but not edible. He couldn’t get them to unstick, much less be eaten. He had to order out that night. Come to think of it, he spent most of his money on ordering out. Maybe that was a bad habit.
He ran a hand through his bleached, blond hair that had too much toner in it so it had turned slightly silvery-purple. An at-home experiment. Another bad habit.
Jungkook groaned, rolling onto his face.
“I need someone older to take care of me,” he mumbled into the sheets.
Someone older… with a certain tuxedo cat, perhaps? He pouted even though no one was there to witness his cuteness.
“Ahhhhhhh…”
He yelled quietly into his bedding, letting go.
Finally thinking about you.
In front of you, he could tease. He could poke fun. It was easy. You were just so flustered around him, not really trying to hide your attraction to him. The first time he had met you was when he went bowling with Seokjin-hyung (he won, much to the disdain of his hyung). You had stopped by to say hello and Seokjin had introduced you two. It had been a fairly innocent meeting, mostly because for a long time Jungkook couldn’t open his mouth to say anything at all. You were wearing a huge white t-shirt with a colorful strawberry graphic, a wide-brimmed straw hat, and white sneakers with black laces. It had been a hot summer day, he remembered. You were already pretty simply by standing there, chatting animatedly with his hyung. Jungkook tried not to look too closely, sneaking glances in between your conversation.
Seokjin had absolutely no qualms about shitting on your outfit.
“Yah, grandma, you’re off to pick some strawberries in the field or something?”
You had shoved him, rolling your eyes. “You’re a grandpa too! Look at you, losing to kid.”
Was that referring to him? “Ah, I’m not a kid.” Shit. His Busan dialect slipped out a little in his nervousness, deepening his voice.
Your cheeks had peppered pink. “A-ah… right…”
Oh?
Oh!
Oh!!!
You shook your head abruptly and reached into your tuxedo-cat-printed tote bag. “Here’s your freaking hard drive, you monkey,” you had said to Seokjin, handing over the small paper bag.
“Did you manage to restore all my files?” Seokjin asked worriedly, completely ignoring your insult.
You shrugged, looking rueful. “I don’t know how many you had, but I did the best I could.” You leaned forward, eyes narrowing, whispering in his ear. Didn’t matter. Jungkook was close enough to hear.
“Stop downloading porn!”
Jungkook snorted.
Seokjin glared at you. “Excuse me, I am living a healthy lifestyle, do not judge me!” he hissed. “And not in front of the child!”
Yeah, well, Jungkook didn’t let you think he was a child for long.
He wasn't really sure why he was attracted to you. It wasn't only because you were pretty. He just had a strong urge to get a reaction out of you. Ah, maybe that was it. He liked seeing your reactions to things and did everything he could to get more and more interesting reactions out of you. You never told Jungkook to stop. You told Seokjin to stop all the time.
"I swear if you make one more pun, I'm going to tie your tongue into a knot!"
"Then I'd really be tongue-tied, eh? Eh?! WAIT, NO, WATCH THE FACE, NOT MY FACE!!!"
Jungkook couldn't help himself. He had to mess with you. 
Fuck. 
(Yes, actually.)
He couldn't stop. It was too fun. It didn't help that you had a cute surprised face. Didn't help that you had a great smile. Didn’t help that you had an amazing body under your clothes and knew exactly how to use it (Jungkook wouldn’t admit it, but he learned a lot from you). Didn't help that you would chase after your tuxedo cat and scoop up that furball even after getting railed by him, which Jungkook found very impressive. 
"Shooky, you loon, I told you to stop running on the counters..."
And you would cradle that cat to your chest, petting his head and waiting for him to purr and lick your nose before releasing him, satisfied that he was no longer going to be a menace. He still was though. He was a cat. You forgave Shooky every time. 
Just like how you let Jungkook get away with everything. 
Present Jungkook frowned, rolling onto his back, frowning at the ceiling. Maybe you thought he was a fuckboy and had a negative image of him. He scratched his head, tongue in cheek, thinking hard. No. You didn't seem like the type. You were never angry at him, not really, not even when he interrupted your work to mess around in bed. Exasperated, maybe, but it never seemed like you were holding an internal grudge or upset at his nonchalant actions. Ah, but he hadn’t tried to talk to you in almost a whole year. Would you think he was a dick if he tried to contact you now? He couldn’t ask you. He couldn’t ask your best friend. Seokjin-hyung still had no idea. 
Jungkook laughed to himself. 
He kind of went behind his hyung's back, whoops.
He looked to his left side, the side you used to fall asleep on when he spent the night. He could imagine it, your past self and his past self, your hair on your pillow, blankets loosely over your chest, his hand on your breasts as you slept. 
A pair of mint-green eyes glaring at him from the left side of your body. 
Jungkook remembered poking that pink nose with his index finger, the rest of his hand still on your tits. The tuxedo cat had given him a very displeased look. 
"Are you mad?"
The cat didn't reply. He was a cat. 
"You're really lucky. You get to be with her every day," Jungkook had whispered, not wanting to wake you up. "She takes good care of you, you know. I see how much she loves you."
The cat closed his eyes, resting his furry head on your arm. 
"Do you love her back?"
Maybe. Maybe not. Jungkook didn't know. He wasn't a cat. He couldn't ask in cat language. He let go of your breasts for a second to scratch the top of Shooky's head, right between those velvety ears. He began purring like a little motor. 
You continued your adventures in la la land, oblivious to this interaction. 
"I guess cats are kind of simple, huh?" Jungkook mused, smoothing out the black fur on top of that little head. "You don't have to think about much. You don't have to get a job, plan for the future, or worry about being a good husband."
His hand lowered.
"But I do."
You breathed softly against him, nuzzling closer to his body. Jungkook put his hand back on your breasts and you stilled, lost in your dreams. He breathed out, warmth against your skin. He saw the side of your lips twitch ever so slightly upwards, but maybe it was only his imagination wishing to see what he wanted.
Only a wish.
He had placed his nose by your cheek and breathed in, losing himself in dreams as well. 
-
Yoongi looked into your eyes. 
Then both of you turned to opposite sides and sneezed loudly.
"Fuck–"
"That was horrible," Yoongi hissed, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand and backing up. "Ugh, human bodies are awful."
You shook your head roughly. "Someone must be thinking about me... and you, I guess..." you mumbled, clearing your head before prodding him in the chest. "Also, last time I checked, now you're human too, so jokes on you. Hope you enjoy the suffering!" You stuck your tongue out childishly.
Yoongi gave you an annoyed look, reaching over you to grab the keyboard stand. You stiffened at his closeness, but he quickly withdrew, taking the metal stand and leaving you disappointed, but not surprised. Couldn't even pretend to be shocked.
He lifted it up so it wouldn’t drag on the floor and began to walk out of the room, ignoring you.
Classic. 
You thinned your mouth into a line and picked up the white plastic skeleton. What to do with this? Fuck it. Back into the closet it goes, along with your winter wardrobe, summer wardrobe, and other knickknacks.
Well. 
Maybe you could donate a couple things to charity. 
Like this Chinese finger trap. Why was this here?
You stuck your fingers in it. 
S... shit!
Yoongi reappeared to grab the keyboard. You opened your mouth, about to ask for help, looking up to see your cat-man standing in the doorframe of your bedroom, glaring. Very displeased and disapproving, reminding you a whole lot of a certain tuxedo fluffball.
"I'll say it again."
Huh? You gave him a confused look. 
He pointed to his pointed, velvety black ears. 
"I'm a cat, duh."
And then he walked out. Fuck him. You didn't need his help. 
-
You couldn’t get it off.
Panik!
Yes, you can. It was just a finger trap. You were smart. You graduated university. You had been a human for many more years than Min Yoongi. He had been human for two days! And besides, Yoongi was mean. You didn’t need a meanie to help you. You were a strong, independent woman who didn’t need no (cat) man.
Kalm.
You…
You…
You couldn’t get it off!!!
PANIK!!!!!!!
-
“… What are you doing?”
You were the epitome of the emoji holding back tears.
“Y… Yoongi…” you whined.
He blinked at you, holding the manual of the keyboard upside down. The keyboard was already set up on the stand, pushed up against one of the walls of your living room. He was using the cardboard box that his clothes came in – he really loved that damn box – as a makeshift seat.
“Are you dying?”
You held up your hands, pouting. The bronze dragon Chinese finger trap was still stuck on your index fingers. It had been roughly twenty, maybe thirty minutes.
Your cat-man just blinked at you and it.
“I… can’t get it off… Help…”
He raised an eyebrow and put the manual on the keyboard before walking over to you. He placed his chin in between his index finger and his thumb, frowning. Looking this way and that. The realization was slowly kicking in.
Yoongi wasn’t hiding his smirk very well.
“You know how to take it off!” you howled, smacking him in the chest.
He cackled, backing up as you repeatedly whacked him with the back of your hands, furious because it was obvious that he knew what to do and was simply not doing it to piss you off, his grin getting wider and wider, still not saying anything, this little shit, backing up into your living room as you chased him, stupid cat-man was fucking fast, dodging you easily, your joined hands and annoyed demeanor making you a bit wobbly.
“Min Yoongi, I swear I’ll–”
“You’ll what?” he teased, raising his hands in mock innocence. “Maybe I don’t know?”
You scowled at him. “You definitely know.”
He smirked.
Shit.
It was sexy and you were supposed to be mad!
You were next to the keyboard now. And a certain something. Hm. You jerked your head to the cardboard box. His eyes widened.
“You wouldn’t do such a thing.”
“I would.”
“You wouldn’t, you heathen.”
“You better fucking believe I would!”
(You’re threatening to recycle a cardboard box to force your cat-man to get you out of a metal finger trap that you put yourself in. Um, are you okay? Better yet, are both of you okay???)
He marched over to you, relenting with an angry huff, yanking up your hands.
“There’s a trick to it, of course.”
He pressed the dragon’s horns in tandem with the dragon’s beard on either side and the trap released your red fingers, making you gasp at the sudden freedom. Holy shit. You stared at your freed index fingers. You had two hands. Wow. Amazing. Show stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique…
Yoongi placed the finger trap on the coffee table.
“Hmph. This thing is probably only worth three dollars.”
You poked your index fingers together, suddenly ashamed. “Sorry I threatened your box.”
Yoongi grunted, cat ears flicking back and forth in annoyance.
You poked his stomach with your index fingers. “Er… I just… wanted you to help me...”
“You weren’t going to do it anyway.”
You puffed your cheeks, narrowing your eyes, irritation flaring back. “Well, maybe I was! What were you going to do, leave me like that, unable to use my hands for the rest of my life?” You jabbed him repeatedly in the chest, driving your point home in between your snappish words. “Hmm? I need hands to do things! Important things!”
Yoongi suddenly grabbed your wrists and held them up over your head.
(Aw shit, here we go again.)
“Y-Yoongi?!”
He raised an eyebrow at you.
“What important things do you need to do with your hands?” he asked.
Oh shit.
Oh no.
Why was his vice suddenly so deep? Did he even know???
Your eyes widened, brain malfunctioning, your last two working brain cells rushing to the library to find the book titled ‘things you can do with your hands’, opening it, reading, handsy things. That was it. That was all you had at this moment. Why was it that your brain had the memory equal to the RAM of a fucking Tamagotchi every time your cat-man touched you?
Oh, yeah, that’s right, because he was a cat literally two days ago and you never thought about fucking your cat because that’s just fucking weird, but now he’s a man, so maybe it’s okay, unless it’s not, and then what does that make you? FUCKING WEIRD, THAT’S WHAT.
You yelped as your back collided to the wall. When had you walked that far? What was going on? What was life??? You were yanked back to reality as Yoongi leaned down, tilting his head, eyebrow still cocked, dark eyes darker from his fluffy black hair falling over his eyes.
“I hear you don’t always like being able to use your hands.”
Holyfuckingshitcrap.
Instantly, your cheerful brain decided to play the memory of you begging Jeon Jungkook to hold down your wrists so you couldn’t stop him and his relentless assault on your pussy, one hand grasping both your wrists and the other rubbing two fingers on your clit, thrusting his hard cock in and out of you as he abused the sensitive bundle of nerves, pinning you to your bed, panting in your face.
“You like this, noona?” Jungkook had purred.
(Respectfully.)
Voice low, deep, and sexy, driving you insane, waves of pleasure crashing into you over and over, pussy throbbing with repeated orgasm.
“F-Fuck, yes, oh fuck, Jungkook, yes… don’t s-stooop…”
Shooky had sat on the highest level of his cat tree, glaring down at you two.
Shit, shit, shit…
Yoongi leaned in even more, eyes disappearing, lips next to your ear. You felt him transfer one of your wrists to his other hand, now holding both with one hand as the other fell against your body.
“In fact, I’ve seen it firsthand,” he whispered, low, soft, dangerous.
Your brain ended the film reel in your head, giving you two mental thumbs-up and beaming happily at you as if it had done a great thing.
No, brain.
You’ve fucked me over and now I’m horny as fuck!
A needy whimper popped out of you as Yoongi’s free hand slipped between your bodies, fingers dancing deftly across the fabric of your sweatshirt, following the rhythm of your racing heart as it went down, down, too fast, sanity unable to keep up, you rising into his touch, his fingers sliding underneath the waistband of your leggings. This pair wasn’t as tight as the previous pair, but the fabric still clung to your skin just as tightly.
Wait. Is that you? Moaning?
(Yes.)
He dragged them down your hips, having to let go of the waistband for a moment to push them past the sides before resuming, you moaning in the space where he should have a human ear, but he didn’t, because Yoongi was a cat-man and his pointed furry ears were at the top of his head.
“Y… Yoongi…”
“Hm?”
His soft lips lightly pressed against your ear and you shivered. His grip on your wrists wasn’t very tight. You could break out any time. He was only loosely holding you.
“I… I am…” you quivered, voice shaking.
“I want to make you feel good.”
His murmur was so gentle, so calm, so quiet that it almost didn’t feel real. Almost a purr.
“Do you want me to make you feel good?”
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
“Yes.”
You said it.
Your panties were leaving with your leggings, shoved down mid-thigh. Your name in your ear, spoken by Min Yoongi, his body hovering over yours, black hair against your cheek, his fingers slipping between your legs, your heart slamming in your chest, thighs squeezing his hand.
“Feels nice here,” Yoongi mumbled, breath feathering on your skin. A single finger grazed your wetness and you gasped, his raspy chuckle in your ear. “Wet.”
Your eye twitched, slightly annoyed. No, really? Thanks for letting me know, it’s not like I can fucking feel it myself or anything, I absolutely need your riveting play-by-play–
“Urk!”
Yoongi scooped two fingers into your pussy and felt around inside, rubbing his fingertips against your throbbing walls.
“Ah…” He was breathing hard, pushing them in joint by joint, his own inhale shallowing. “Fuck, it’s so tight in here, are you alright?”
Oh, my fucking God, Yoongi, just fucking destroy me, I’m not a virgin!
You sucked in a shaking breath, mentally beating your inner thot back down. “F-Feels really nice, Yoongi… just… a little more…” He sank his fingers all the way to the knuckles. “Fuuuck, yes, oh, fuck yes…”
You rocked your hips into it, moaning, eyes closing, building up a pace, not really waiting for him to figure out that he could move his fingers too. It didn’t matter though, because Yoongi was highly observant and diligent, and, as much as you avoided to admit it, he had seen you get fingered hundreds of times, all over the apartment, in all sorts of embarrassing positions and with plenty of visible, graphic, high-definition detail, better than any porn video.
By – yup, you guessed it – Jeon Jungkook.
Yoongi began his own pace to match yours, thrusting his two fingers in and out until you were a hopeless mess, whining and bucking against his touch, your juices coating his hand, staring up at the ceiling with the tips of his black ears in your peripheral vision, tilted towards you to listen to every single one of your sounds. His heavy exhale invaded your head, lost in Yoongi’s rhythm that was uniquely his, only able to cry out, harder or faster, losing yourself in him, his scent, the smell of your vanilla body wash, and the rapidly strengthening sweetness between your legs rising up despite it dripping down your thighs.
“Yoongi… oh, fuck, Yoongi…”
It just felt too good, speed, strength, sound, wet messy squelches of his fingers entering you over and over, your pussy responding in kind, shuddering around them, clenching tight, hips rocking into every plunge to deepen the stroke, prolonging your own orgasm, savoring the moment.
“You feel so good…”
That wasn’t you.
That was Yoongi.
Whispering in your ear, probably not even realizing his own dirty talk.
“So fucking wet and warm,” he murmured, the rumble purring in his chest, soothing but also far too sexy. “Sucking my fingers back in, fucking me back… You really like me this much?” His lips brushed your ear, chaste kisses compared to the rough fingering of his slippery digits pushing into you repeatedly, the sounds getting louder and lewder because you were getting wetter and wetter. “Am I really that good-looking to you?”
Yoongi, are you BLIND, DEAF, or BOTH???
“Fuck yes, you are, what the fuck?” you gasped out, turning your head slightly, one of his dark brown eyes locking with yours, your jaw clenched with the effort of you holding back your orgasm to respond to his ludicrous question. “You are so fucking handsome I couldn’t even last two days of being in your presence, thirsting after you!”
You heard Yoongi chuckle, the sound resonating and teasing your ear.
“Actually, you couldn’t even last one, remember?” he drawled slyly.
His knuckle grazed your throbbing, aroused clit.
“Fuck!”
Your body twisted, whining wail torn out of you as you came, pushing your head and hands against the wall, nerves sparking and shaking, intense pleasure flooding all over your senses from holding back, breathless whimpers of Yoongi’s name, grinding into his hand. He let go of your wrists. They prickled with pins and needles of lost circulation, but you didn’t give a shit, grabbing his hand between your legs and shoving it back in you before it could retreat, riding out your orgasm, milking it for every single gram of ecstasy, cherishing every single second of another’s hand inside you, not just another but your disturbingly attractive man who was previously a cat sleeping in your lap exactly forty-eight hours ago as you innocently watched American Horror Story.
“Y… Yoongi?” you panted, orgasm petering out, trickling waves subsiding.
“Y… Yes?”
He wasn’t making fun of you. You could hear the nervousness in his voice.
“Can I kiss you?”
His face appeared in front of yours.
“Yes.”
You didn’t think twice.
You closed your eyes and leaned forward, lips on his, your satisfied sigh tickling his skin, kissing him hard, the intimacy you desired for so long, moments you spent all year trying to keep it at bay, no one to show your affection but tiny kisses on Shooky’s furry head, but now one of your hands was cupping Yoongi’s cheek, deepening the kiss, him pressing back against you, sandwiching you between the wall and himself. You let go of his hand between your legs and held both his cheeks, peppering light pecks against that lovely mouth. You wanted to kiss him over and over, so nice, so lovely, his barely-there gasps drifting on your lips with every kiss.
His fingers slipped out and touched your thigh.
You drew back, heart thudding, still holding his face, his round cheeks a little squished in your hands.
He raised his hand and put his pussy-soaked fingers in his mouth.
You jerked your hands back. “Y-Yoongi!” you exclaimed, shocked.
His pink tongue slipped around his fingers, tiny kitten licks to slurp it all up. He hummed, small smirk playing on his lips. You gawked at him.
“Y-You don’t have to–”
“You like it, don’t you?”
You shut your mouth, cheeks burning with heat.
Yoongi smirked wider, nimble tongue slipping around and around, your eyes glued to the movement, brain already dreaming up lecherous scenarios. His dark brown eyes flickered to you, eyebrows rising.
“Hmm…”
“W-What?” you snapped, trying to collect yourself. He was giving you that look again. That enigmatic expression of maybe-maybe-not. Yoongi shrugged, taking his fingers out of his mouth.
“I think we should do that again sometime.”
Your mind went blank.
Again? Now? Later?
Next Tuesday?
WHEN, MIN YOONGI, WHEN?
“… Urk?”
Those cunning dark brown orbs sparkled with mischief. “Hmm, then again, maybe we’ll do something different next time,” he pondered out loud, taunting you with the suggestive depth of his voice. He backed up, tail swaying from side to side, his grin widening, turning into an open-mouthed smirk that showed off his pretty teeth and devious expression.
His next words were the verbal equivalent of pushing your full glass of brainpower right off the table and sending it crashing to the floor.
“I have a lot of things I want to try.”
-
part v
--
masterpost
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silversatoru · 4 years ago
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Hello! I wanted to request for a chubby reader x Levi oneshot. I feel like there aren’t many stories that have chubby readers ): As for the storyline, I’m not sure if it falls in the angst or hurt/comfort category. It would be the reader feeling insecure about themselves because they have a harder time training than the others (them blaming it on their own weight) and seeing how everyone is much thinner than them, they start avoiding food. To not make it look suspicious, they’d go into the kitchen alone and put the food away along with the left overs. The reader would act normal with Levi and he doesn’t suspect anything at first. Later on, the reader would push themselves harder to the point where they’d train on their own whenever they had to chance so they can lose weight and improve their training. At this point, Levi starts noticing the reader looking paler than usual and the slight difference in their weight. One day during training, the reader ends up fainting from exhaustion and dehydration. They wake up on Levis’s bed with him looking over them. He asks what happened and the reader lies by saying they didn’t drink enough water. Levi calls it bs and ask if they think he’s stupid and goes on to tell them about how they noticed the reader sneaking off into the kitchen with a plate and coming out without it. He didn’t think anything of it at first, but he started putting the pieces together. They end up telling Levi the truth, the way they feel towards themself and how they don’t like the fact that they’re bigger than Levi. He comforts the reader and lets them know that they’re an idiot for thinking that way, etc. Thank you! I’m so sorry if it sounds so cheesy!
hello dear!! i dont think your idea was cheesy at all, i love it actually. these kind of issues live very close to my heart, so writing about them is always really fun for me. that being said,, this fic definitely got very dark and very real, and i would advise everyone to read the warnings before deciding to read this <33
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levi ackerman x gn!reader
synopsis: levi catches you skipping meals and does what he can to help
tags/warnings: eating disorder, skipping meals, hurt/comfort, but it does have a happy ending! 
word count: 2.2k 
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Throbbing headaches and hollow, gnawing pains in your stomach — they’ve quickly become your new normal. You see everything through a hazy fog these days, nothing feels real and everything hurts but it’s worth it — that’s what you keep saying to yourself. You’re tired of lacking the same agility, momentum, and grace that your thinner counterparts have. 
Your weight was always something that ate away at the back of your head, but joining the scout regiment multiplied it tenfold. You were constantly working twice as hard as your fellow scouts, and it seemed like it was never enough. Everyone around you was not only ridiculously athletic, but so fucking thin. You didn’t hate your comrades for their bodies and the way they were born, but you made up for it by inflicting all of the hate onto yourself.
You wonder if anyone notices your zombie eyes or the abnormal paleness to your face — god, you hope they don’t. The last thing you want to do is have to confront your feelings and admit what you’ve been doing lately. Every night you shamefully sneak back into the kitchen and pour your plate of food into the large pot of leftovers. You pick at food here and there when your friends are watching, but behind closed doors you haven’t eaten much of anything lately. Your body is running on empty, and it’s only a matter of time before it fully catches up to you. 
You hear your last name echo from across the training fields, slowly turning around to see an angry captain sulking towards you. His face was twisted into an unpleasant grimace, his eyebrows knitted together into what almost looked like concern. 
“I’m excusing you from the remainder of training, leave,” his words were flat, but there was a subtle emotional edge. 
“Sorry, what?” you gave him a confused look — Captain Levi never excused anyone from training, not unless they were practically on their deathbed. 
“Go home, and eat a big dinner tonight, your energy has been less than adequate lately,” his face softened slightly, “I expect you to be back to normal by tomorrow. Your skills and abilities are needed here, so go get some rest and be better tomorrow, yeah?”
“But, I-,” you stammered, trying to come up with some kind of valid excuse. 
“That’s an order, cadet”. 
His words surprised you, and before you could even rack your brain for an appropriate way to respond, he was turned on his heels and walking away. You swallowed thickly, your throat dry and stuffed full with anxiety. 
Reluctantly, you followed his orders and made your way back to the Scout’s base early. You grabbed a stack of fresh clothing from your room before heading to the showers and scrubbing yourself free of all the sweat and grime from training. You were careful to avoid mirrors when you navigated bathrooms, and tonight was no exception, your eyes glued to the tiled floor. After showering, you hesitantly walked to the kitchen, preparing a plate of food and bringing it back to your room.
That food stared you in the eyes for hours, taunting you and teasing you and making intense nausea creep up your spine.  Tears were stinging the backs of your eyes and your lungs were shaking with heavy, anxiety-filled breaths. You couldn't do it, and you were overwhelmed with shame and guilt. If you couldn’t do it for Levi, you were hopeless that you’d be able to do it for anyone, never mind for yourself. 
After making countless pitiful attempts to take a bite of your untouched meal, you decided it was going back into the leftover pot — just like everything else. The other scouts should have returned and been sleeping by now anyway, you’d just silently creep down the hallway, dump the food, and creep back, no harm no foul. 
Except for that a certain short, dark-haired captain was standing at the end of the hallway — you didn't notice him, but he certainly noticed you. A boiling anger rippled up inside him as he felt an overwhelming disappointment in your actions. He’d been suspecting this kind of behavior for a while now, but watching you tip-toe down the hall and into the kitchen with an uneaten plate of food confirmed all of his suspicions. 
You could barely crawl out of bed the next morning, your ribs aching and your head pounding with a dull pain. You grasped at your tall dresser, catching your balance as you dangerously swayed back and forth for a few seconds. After regaining consciousness and stability you carefully changed into your uniform, having to stop and take breaks every few seconds because you were running out of breath. Your body felt utterly devoid of any kind of energy, and you wondered — when was the last time I actually ate something? 
It was far enough back that you couldn’t quite remember, maybe a few days at this point, you really weren’t sure anymore. You’d have to suck it up for training though, because the last thing you wanted was to be confronted by the captain again. 
You chugged back a full glass of water before lacing up your boots and throwing on a convincing facade. People don’t seem to notice something is wrong as long as you're smiling, laughing, and going along with what they say — it’s easy enough to fly under the radar of your fellow scouts. 
Levi’s radar is a little sharper though, and he keeps a close eye on you from the second you walk up to the training grounds. He’s disappointed in your hand to hand combat — it’s sloppy, slow, predictable. Your hands look shaky too, and maybe it's the light playing tricks on him but it looks like the color is draining from your face. 
Things are feeling deplorable on your side — you can barely stand anymore, never mind throw punches or avoid the oncoming attacks. Your vision was starting to tunnel, foggy black surrounding your periphery as you began to lose feeling in your fingertips. You tried desperately to cling onto whatever semblance of consciousness you had left, but failed miserably, your body collapsing to the hard earth beneath you. 
The soft glow of warm candles illuminated the walls around you when you finally woke up from the earlier incident. This wasn’t your room, where the hell were you? You uncomfortably shifted to the side and flinched when you saw your captain sitting in a chair in front of you. His arms were crossed and one of his legs was propped on top of the other, an icey look in his eyes.
“What happened today?” His words were very short and his tone was flooded with irritation — he didn’t even give you a chance to take in your surroundings.
“Ah- I didn’t sleep well last night,” you lied, “And maybe I haven’t been drinking enough water or something”. 
“I’m offended that you think I would fall for such a pitiful lie,” He clicked his tongue off the roof of his mouth, “I saw you sneak into the kitchen last night, how long have you been doing that?” 
Your eyes grew wide with anxiety, your heart abruptly dropping to the floor — you made sure to go extra late last night, why the hell was he still up?
You stayed quiet for a moment, pondering over how honest you should be with Levi right now. The two of you had always been a little closer than he was with the other scouts, but unfortunately there was no room for things like love in this world. You also assumed that maybe he never reciprocated your feelings because of your weight — but that was just more toxic fuel to the fire blossoming in your head. 
“Pretty long,” you sighed, ultimately deciding to be fully honest with him, because knowing Levi, he’d continue to see right through your lies anyway. 
“I figured,” He grumbled, uncrossing his legs and leaning back into his chair, “Why?” 
“Everyone around me is thin, I stick out. And, I’m not as agile or flexible as the other scouts either. I just thought that maybe...,” you bit down hard on your bottom lip, rolling onto your back so you wouldn’t have to look at him, “I thought my weight bothered you too, and also that I’d be more useful to the scouts if I was skinnier”. 
“You think I’d like you better if you were dead?” Levi was leaning closer now, heat boiling in his eyes, “Because that’s where you’re headed right now. If you truly think you’ll be more helpful to the scouts when you’re six feet under, you’re delusional. And who the hell gave you the idea that your weight bothered me?”
His harsh words were cold slap in the face, your eyes burning and threatening to spill over with tears. You didn’t want to die, not really, you just didn’t want to hate yourself anymore. 
“No one! I don’t know, I just thought, maybe because I was bigger than you-,” You continued to stammer over your words, tears beginning to leak down your cheeks. 
“It doesn’t matter,” he waved you off, not wanting to push the issue further, “You’re wrong, and I’m hurt that you’d even think that. I’ve never once thought that you were anything other than the way you should be”.
“I’m sorry,” your voice was weak and shaky, but your heart was pounding against your chest at his words. 
“I’m not the person you should be apologizing to, that’s something you owe to yourself” he shook his head and stood up to retrieve two small bowls of food from a nearby table, “I brought you something to eat”.
You watched him intently, pondering over his words about apologizing to yourself.
“It’s only a bowl of soup, so you can start small, yeah?” He offered one of the bowls to you, which you hesitantly took into your hands as you sat up. 
He sat down again across from you again, leaning back and taking a sip of broth from his bowl. You were grateful that he was here, that he was eating with you — it made things a little easier. You grasped the spoon in your hands and scooped up some brothy vegetables before lifting them into your mouth. 
“Good, finish the bowl,” nodded at you, giving you a reassuring look and lifting his own bowl to his lips again. 
The two of you ate in silence until you were finished, and then he sat the bowls back on his nightstand before finding a seat next to you on his bed. 
“Stay here tonight,” he stared at you with his signature tired eyes, but there were hints of concern laced through them now, “We’ll have breakfast together in the morning”. 
“Okay,” you gave him a weak nod, trying desperately to bottle up your growing emotions, but they were becoming too much to bear. 
Small sobs began to rack through your body, your chest tightening and your stomach lurching with anxiety. You were experiencing so many feelings tonight — eating for the first time in days and being here with Levi, it was overwhelming to say the least. 
You could barely see the captain through your blurry vision, but you could feel his arms maneuver themselves around you and pull you against his chest. You stayed like that for a while, Levi’s arms delicately holding you in place while quiet sobs worked their way out of your lips. 
“You’ve dug yourself into a deep hole, I won’t lie to you,” you heard him let out a tired sigh, “And it’s gonna take time and effort for you to dig your way out, but you’ll get there. We’ll start by having breakfast and dinner together every night, how does that sound? Just you and me, no one else has to watch”. 
You nuzzled a tiny nod into his chest, your tears finally running dry. It was a terrifying thought, eating normal again, but you were starting to feel hopeful that you might actually be able to do it. 
And so the two of you met every morning and every evening for your scheduled meals, and day by day things began to get easier. You even found yourself staying over in Levi’s room after dinner and into the morning for breakfast sometimes. Spending so much time together was definitely pushing the two of you to address the feelings you’d been hiding for so long. 
But not everything was perfect, it would be irrational to think it would be. You still have bad nights, where eating is so hard you break down into tears, and where you want nothing more than to rid yourself of the food in your system. It’s a draining process, but Levi works hard to make sure you stay on track with your progress. 
It’s slow, but eventually your face starts to glow again, your skin gets smooth and soft, and the aching pains in your body start to fade. Your war with your body is far from over, but you’re doing what you can, and you’re healing yourself one day at a time.
thank u for reading this, and now i would like to give you a gentle reminder to do something nice for your body today. eating disorders and mental illnesses are huge mountains to climb over, but taking things one day at a time makes it a little easier. try and eat a meal today (even if it’s small), go to sleep early and get some rest, take a shower and rub lotion all over your legs so they feel nice against your blankets when you lay in bed. baby steps are better than no steps at all, so be patient with yourself. n go drink some water, ur body loves that shit
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runwithwolvcs · 3 years ago
Text
You Know I'm No Good - three
New Beginnings
Timeline: Takes place a few years after the events of Breaking Dawn
Pairing: Paul Lahote x OC (Tallulah is 18)
Warnings (future chapters): Drugs/Alcohol, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Jealousy, Mental Health, (Mentions of SA, but no details)
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She was like the moon -- part of her is always hidden away
Tallulah looked to the boy in front of her, up close, in much better light than she had first seen him in, he looks older, worn and tired. Like he hasn't slept well in days. “I’m aware of who you are.” she stated in a matter of fact tone, and she watches as the smirk returns to his face. Great, an inflated ego, she thought. Tallulah is overly aware that his eyes are on her, like he's trying to read her uninterested expression. “I didn’t know Joseph had a third daughter,” he spoked tentatively, as if he would cause her to bolt if he said something wrong. She nodded her head in response, of course nobody knew. “Yeah, I’m the best kept family secret there ever was,” she eased out with a breathy laugh, “I didn’t mean it like that” he backtracked quickly, “I’ve just never seen you around the rez before”
Tallulah nodded her head in understanding, “my mom hates it here so she never brought me.” she stated before turning her body back towards the bar, hoping he’d get the hint that this was not what she wanted to be talking about. The next question out of his mouth being ‘why’, clearly meant he did not know how to read a room, causing her to turn her entire body back towards him, her face level with his as he was leaning against the counter, eyes looking into hers, as she venomously spoke, “because it's a giant reminder that her ex husband spent two years of their marriage being in love with another woman before leaving her to care for a child by herself while he lived happily ever after.” The look of shock on Paul's face didn’t surprise Tallulah in the slightest.
The waitress had dropped off both of their drinks and as she was about to open her mouth to drop another heated sentence she felt a petite arm wrap around her own, and a raspy feminie voice greeted Paul, to which he nodded in acknowledgment, barely taking his eyes off of Tallulah, “Sorry, Paul, but I need to steal my sister for a moment,”. Tallulah was now looking at the tall, raven haired girl beside her. Lenna.
Now she was confused, as the younger of the two pulled her away from the counter, drink in hand, back to the table where Josie was now sitting beside herself. Lenna sat down beside her twin, across from Tallulah, a look of exasperation was evident on Lenna's face, whereas Josie had an apologetic one.
Before she could even ask what had just happened, Lenna was speaking in a heated tone, “you need to stay away from him,” she started, “he’s got a girlfriend,” before she could defend herself from what felt like an attack, Josie piped in, “They’re back together?” she asked in a shocked tone, to which her twin nodded her head furiously. “What does any of whatever you're talking about have to do with me?” she asked, eyebrow raised, Tallulah crossed her arms as she leaned back in her seat. “This has everything to do with you!” Lenna exclaimed, “You’re the shiny new toy here, doesn’t help that you're hot either. And Paul Lahote is dating Rachel Black, happily, might I add, and when they aren’t together, she's not happy and when she's not happy, I’m not happy!” she rambled, Tallulah looked to Josie for clarification, “What Lenna is trying to say is that Rachelis her boss and she is not easy to work for when she doesn’t get what she wants. And for as long as we can remember, Paul was the source of that stress. They’ve been on and off since they were 16.” Josie clarified, with Lenna adding, “Plus, dad has a rule about dating older guys, and he does not fit the qualifications, even for you.” she stated before picking at her perfectly manicured hands.
“Well, no need to stress. I’m not a homewrecker.” Tallulah stated matter of factly. “ Besides, he’s not my type anyways” Not that Tallulah had a type really, anyone who didn’t want her commitment and could make her feel something other than numb, was good enough for her.
The three girls stayed at the cafe until it was nearly dark. The twins carried the conversation, with Tallulah nodding her head and giving one word answers whenever it was needed. She didn’t particularly care for the topics in which they were being brought up, like who broke up or who’s not friends anymore. In such a small area she figured this was typical considering everyone knew everyone here. She didn’t even want to think about what people might be saying about her. After awhile, Lenna had to get to work and Josie had received a text from Kira of when dinner would be, to which Tallulah thought was odd, her and her mother never ate dinner together as a family. Either her mother was at work or she was out with friends, being left up to her own devices. So when Josie and Tallulah walked through the front door of their home to the smell of a home cooked meal, she felt a tinge of jealousy. The twins were living the life she had dreamt of as a child, a mother who cooked, a dad that was present in their lives, family dinners where they could talk about their days, the good and the bad. A family that made memories together, rather than apart.
The two girls kicked off the shoes and before making their way to the dining room table, Tallulah felt awkward, she didn’t want to sit in someone else's seat, so, she let Josie sit in her usual spot before sitting down, Kira and her dad sat at the ends of the table. They all jumped right in, grabbing and passing food to each other as if Tallulah had been there for years.
As they ate, Kira asked how her first full day in La Push was, she shrugged her shoulders, before stating, “it was alright. Met some people who seemed to already know who I was.” This caused her father and Kira to laugh, as Tallulah took another bite while her dad asked, “catch any names?”, before she could even answer, Josie was answering for her, “She met Paul today, seemed like they really hit it off.” Tallulah couldn't stop the glare that adorned her face, for someone who had essentially told her their dad didn’t like him, she was really throwing her in front of a bus.
She looked at her dad, trying to gauge a reaction from him but he was looking at Kira, the two of them silently communicating from across the table, before saying, “I don’t know if that's someone you’d want as a friend.He’s quite older than you, Tal, nearly 27.” to which she shrugged off, saying, “he was just asking if i was your daughter. Not a lot of people knew you had three before yesterday.” No longer having an appetite, she dropped her fork onto her plate, “and not that it's anyone's business, but I can make my own friends, older or younger. Thank you for dinner, Kira.” she said trying to contain her anger before standing up and tucking her chair in. She grabbed her plate and brought it into the kitchen, the anger that has been stirring since the day before coming back out as she tried to calm herself before it came back to bite her. She tossed her food and placed her plate in the dishwasher before walking up to her room and shutting the door gently, she turned towards her bed noticing a black book bag with a folded slip of paper on it. Picking it up and opening, she recognized it as a schedule, reading it over, she noticed she had more independent study periods than actual classes. Written in pen below the timetable there was a note, stating, “exempt from AP Literature, Biology III and Calculus”, which were all classes she had taken in the first semester of her old school. She let out a breath of relief at the thought of not taking them again. Shoving the paper in her bag, before dropping it at the foot of her bed. She grabbed a book out of one of her unpacked duffels that her mother must have packed for her, before laying on her bed to read.
-
At some point she must have dozed off, the room was dark but the moonlight illuminated from the window. Tallulah got up and stretched her back from the odd position she had fallen asleep, before stripping out of her jeans in favour of comfy shorts and a baggy t-shirt. She made her way into the hall to use the bathroom she shared with the twins, as well as to brush her teeth. From the bathroom she could hear the muffled voices of Jira and her dad, ‘he’s too old for her’ ‘this could be good for her’ ‘or it could push her further away’ ‘you and i both know that wont happen’, it didn’t take a genius to realize who they were talking about, and she wasn’t bothered by it in the slightest because in her mind, if they never assert their problems with her, then they can never be mad. How can she go against them if she didn’t know what she was doing wasn’t allowed?
She left the bathroom after dousing her face with water and patting it dry to see Josie waiting outside, Tallulah rolled her eyes before brushing past her, not listening to her apologies, she didn’t care if Josie was a snitch. She's just happy she found out sooner, rather than later.
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radiant-flutterbun · 3 years ago
Text
Mason’s Brightside Part 5
First | Previous
It was sunrise and Mason was already awake. He couldn’t have had more than three hours of sleep. His leg still stung.
“I feel like caca de perro.”
But he still got out of bed. He didn’t even bother to smooth down his feathers. He just sighed and left the tent to get another helping of bugs.
Time to kill more animals because I’m a horrible, useless, pendejo, right?!
“Ah Mason, I was just going to see if you were awake!” Perryn approached him. “How’s your leg?”
“All better,” Mason lied. “Healed with a good night’s sleep, just like you said!”
“Good, good. Get some breakfast and we’ll resume our training. We’ll show Laz that she’s wrong, right?” They winked and Mason blushed.
“R-right.”
He closed his eyes and shoveled his meal of insects into his mouth.
Just don’t think about it. Pretend they’re just really crunchy rice, or lettuce or…
He swallowed and rushed to put on his armor and meet with Perryn. They did the same training exercise the day before with the swords. This time Mason stayed focused.
No more straying thoughts. It’s just you and Perryn.
Perryn grinned and Mason’s heart fluttered.
“Nice work, Mace! I can call you Mace right?”
“Y-yeah that’s fine!”
“You seem quicker today. More on your toes. I like it! You must be feeling better!”
Mason nodded. He still felt like a walking corpse.
“Alright. I think you’re ready for an actual fight now.”
“H-huh?”
“No more practice. This time I’m going to really take a go at you. So be alert, got it?”
“R-right!”
Perryn struck and Mason quickly blocked. They weren't kidding. They were no longer following the basic moves they were before. It was all Mason could do just to defend himself from the relentless attacks. Just when Mason was afraid he wouldn’t be able to keep up anymore, Perryn stopped and wiped their brow.
“You did good! You need to work on attacking though. There were several times when you could have gotten me!”
“There were?”
“Yes, but that’s ok. You did good! Let’s take a quick break and we can work on that, K?”
The day continued like that. Perryn would fight Mason, offer feedback and then they’d try again. By the end of the day Mason was exhausted, but felt good about himself for once.
Perryn’s praise made him glow. He went to bed and was out like a light.
***
The next morning Mason felt no more pain in his leg. He smoothed down his feathers and they stayed down. There were no more bags under his eyes. He actually felt good. He didn’t even hear the nagging negative thoughts he was so used to.
He cheerfully grabbed his breakfast. He didn’t even think about what he was eating. He just ate until he felt full and moved on. He was excited for another day to train.
This is the new Mason. I can do this. I’m doing this!
Mason and Perryn fought like before, and this time Mason was able to get a good jab in Perryn’s direction.
“Good!” Perryn praised and Mason beamed.
As the sun began to set Perryn patted Mason on the back.
“I think you’re ready for Modify now.”
“Huh? Modify?”
“Yep it’s time to mix things up a bit. Tomorrow you’re fighting one of the guild’s founders!”
***
Mason’s morning started like it did the previous day. He was getting into a routine. Get up, smooth down the feathers, eat food, put on armor. Time to train.
This time the two tundras of the guild were waiting for him. Perryn sat on the sidelines as the jade colored tundra, Modify looked him up and down.
“Never noticed how much of a twig you were,” She said, flicking an ear covered with piercings “Eh well, if Perryn says you’re ready, you’re ready. Give me your best shot.”
She picked up her own sword and aimed for Mason’s head. He quickly sidestepped her and she pivoted and continued her swing. Mason blocked just in time. Modify was quicker than Perryn, but her blows were lighter. Mason adapted to her steps, and soon he was dodging her with no problem. She narrowed her eyes at him and dropped the sword.
“Well? What are you waiting for? I’m defenseless!”
Mason studied her, sensing something wasn’t right, but he charged anyway. Once he was close, she took a dagger from her pocket and touched it to his neck. It lightly cut one of his feathers and Mason froze.
“Ah, gotcha. You totally fell for it!” She removed the knife and grinned.
Mason glared at her “That wasn’t fair!”
“Hey, you think Luminax is gonna play fair? You’ve gotta be ready for anything!”
Peryn nodded “She’s right. But you did good, Mason. Tomorrow you’re fighting Unweder.”
***
The next morning was a rinse and repeat of the previous. Unweder was waiting for him just like Perryn promised.
The muscular mirror fought similarly as xem’s sibling. Xy was surprisingly quick on xem’s feet. But xy didn’t spin or pivot as much as Modify. Unweder was also much more stoic during their sparring. And xy had more force to xem’s strikes. Mason was prepared for Unweder to try and trick him like Modify did. However, no tricks happened. It was a straightforward fight and at the end of the day Unweder smiled and shook Mason’s hand.
“Good fight. You’ll do well against Luminax.”
“Th-thank you.”
Perryn nodded in agreement.
“Luminax won’t stand a chance against the Guild of Osiris! Not with you here, Mace!”
Mason blushed again “Thanks Perryn.”
***
Mason finished his morning routine and was excited for another day of training. He found Perryn and Karyu together, deep in conversation. Karyu sat on top of Perryn’s head.
“Really Perryn, him?”
“Hey the heart likes what it likes! I thought you’d be happy for me!”
“Look, I want you to find someone more than anyone else, but him?!”
“You said-”
“That was a joke! I was just messing with him. I didn’t really think-”
“Hey Perryn!” Mason cheerfully interrupted, “Who am I fighting today?” He looked around “Lazarus?”
Perryn chuckled “Oh, you’re not quite ready for Laz yet. Today you’re fighting Karyu.”
Mason frowned, “I didn’t know that they were a fighter.”
Karyu scoffed “What? Surprised that I’m not afraid to break a nail, darling?”
“No it’s just… I could literally squish you. How am I supposed to fight you?”
“Well then it’s a good thing I can shapeshift,” Karyu flew off of Perryn’s head and transformed into their humanoid form. “Isn’t it, darling?” 
“...Right.”
Karyu pulled their long purple hair into a ponytail and grabbed a sword “Now, let’s begin shall we?”
Karyu was no joke. They were surprisingly quick, and they did not hold back when it came to their strikes. At one point Mason was even nicked, and Karyu smirked as Perryn accessed the damage. However, it was only a graze and after a quick cleaning of the cut the fighting resumed.
“Say Macy,” Karyu said “Whatever happened to Jeb?”
Mason faltered and Karyu grazed him again.
Mason winced “What the hell was that?”
“Karyu is just trying to distract you,” Perryn said as they checked over the wound “Don’t listen to them. It’s just another graze. You’re good to go.”
“I’m just curious,” Karyu said as the match resumed “You two were so close! And then you died. Then what? Where did Jeb go?”
Mason blocked a jab and then swung to attack. “That’s none of your fucking business!”
“Oooo I sense drama. Tell me aaallll about it baby.”
“Shut up!” Mason swung too hard and stumbled.
“Aww but how can I when I have so many interesting memories to pick from your brain?”
“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” Mason made contact with Karyu and ripped their robe.
“Hey!”
Perryn stopped to check on Karyu “Ok. You’re fine. It just ripped your clothes.”
“Yeah and I liked this outfit!” Karyu glared at Mason “Oh it’s on now, pretty boy!”
“Maybe don’t antagonize him next time,” Perryn said.
Karyu rolled their eyes and picked up their sword.
“Well? What are you fighting for? Let’s continue.”
Mason picked up his own sword and aimed for Karyu. Karyu blocked and then spun behind Mason, nearly getting him again.
“I bet,” Karyu said as they dodged another blow. “Jeb fell in love with someone else and moved on. You know, after you became a ghost.”
Mason growled and brought his sword down hard in the direction of Karyu's neck. They blocked and smirked.
“Oooo that’s exactly what happened huh? Must have been pretty awful, watching the one you love grow old with someone else…”
“Vete al infierno!” Mason kicked Karyu’s shins and they fell onto their butt. Mason held his sword up to their neck.
Karyu grinned and dropped their weapon.
“Alright. You win. Good job, Macy. I knew I was right about you!” They transformed back into a veilspun “You’re a good fighter! Anyway, chao!”
They took off and flew away.
Mason lowered his sword “I really hate them.”
Perryn grinned “Eh, they’ll grow on you.”
***
The next day Mason was surprised to see Quinn with Perryn.
“What’s the surprise? What’s the surprise? What’s the surprise?!” Quinn excitedly trotted around Perryn.
Perryn spotted Mason and smiled. “Surprise, Shadeling! You get to fight Mason!”
Quinn froze “But… But he’s scary!”
“Too bad. You’re fighting him. Grab a weapon or, I dunno your teeth or something. I don’t care.”
“I don’t know how I feel about fighting a kid, Perryn.”
“They’re not a kid,” Perryn said. “They’re an undead abomination just like Luminax. Besides, they're a surprisingly good fighter, so I think the challenge will be good for you.”
“What if I hurt them?”
“You won’t. Don’t worry about it. Grab your sword and begin.”
Mason nodded. He held his sword ready while Quinn just stared at him.
“Well? Are we fighting?” Mason asked.
Quinn tilted their head and then shrugged. Then they bunched up their back legs and jumped. They landed on Mason and bit his arm.
“Ow! Hey!” He pried them off and Quinn spat out a mouthful of feathers.
“Perryn said I could use my teeth!” Quinn giggled. They tried to chomp Mason again, but he jumped back.
“Get your fucking germs away from me!” Mason hissed and slashed Quinn’s tail. They whimpered as black goo oozed from the wound. “Shit I’m sorry.”
The wound healed and Quinn began nipping at Mason’s ankles.
“Oh. I see how it is.”
Mason stabbed through Quinn’s leg. The Shadeling yelped again, but was quick to shrug the injury off. Quinn’s attacks were relentless and unpredictable. Mason’s ankles were sore and he could swear he had bald spots from the amount of feathers Quinn had pulled off of him. Mason kept stabbing the creature, but they healed quickly.
This continued until Quinn began to slow down. They fell over, breathing heavily.
“Are they… Ok?” Mason asked.
“Oh they’re fine,” Perryn said “You just tired them out. Good job you won. However, we should get those bites taken care of. Time to visit Blanche.”
Mason got patched up by Blanche while Quinn was picked up by Unweder to be tucked into bed.
***
The next day it was Lazarus with Perryn. Mason twitched his tail and grinned.
“Fucking finally.”
Laz turned her head toward him and snarled “You seem awfully excited for a fight you’re gonna lose, pipsqueak.”
“Look, I don’t know what your beef with me is, but I’m going to show you that I do belong here. That I am strong.”
Laz rolled her eyes “Right sure.” She grabbed a scythe with one of her wings. “I’m only giving you one warning so listen closely. I’m not going to go easy on you, and I play by my rules. So if you get hurt, you get hurt. Hell, I don't care if I kill you. You’ll just be another corpse for me to use. Understand?”
Mason nodded “I’m not going to lose. I’m ready to kick your ass.”
“I highly doubt that,” She raked her scythe across the ground and several zombified dragons in different states of decay rose from the ground. The dragons ranged from a tiny fae, to as big as a snapper. There were thirteen corpses in total.
Mason took a step back and gulped. His grip on his sword slipped slightly.
“Hey uh, Perryn?” Mason asked “This can’t be allowed, right?”
Perryn chuckled “Hey, it’s like Laz said, you’re playing by her rules now. I can’t help you here Mace. You’re on your own.”
“What’s the matter?” Laz jeered “Afraid of a few corpses little boy?”
“Oh please, my best friend is a corpse.”
“Good, cause they’re coming after ya.”
The zombies shuffled forward. Some faster than others. The fae could actually fly and found its way toward Mason first. Mason swung his sword at the undead monstrosity but missed each time. The other zombies were not far behind. They surrounded him. Soon he was in the middle of a circle of rotting dragons, all with jaws chomping to take a bite of him.
“Meirda.” Mason swore. He finally got the fae. He stabbed right through its body but it was still wriggling around the blade. “Gross.”
A mirror jumped Mason while he was distracted. He fell over and was pinned by the undead beast. The stench was the worst thing Mason had ever smelled. With the fae still twitching on the blade he stabbed through the mirror’s jaw, breaking it off. The fae was split in two and the two halves fell on either side of Mason.
The mirror was still lively and dug its claws into mason’s flesh. He winced but kept a steady grip on the sword. He lifted the sword up and through the mirror’s skull and it fell over limp.
Mason got to his feet before the snapper could crush his tail in its jaws. Mason slashed at the snapper, but its scales were so thick that the blade just bounced off its hide. A tundra barely held together with flesh nicked Mason’s wing. He turned around and stabbed it through the chest, splitting the body apart. The snapper was still at his heels as he quickly lobbed off the head of a pearlcatcher.
Mason dispatched two more zombies as he ran away from the snapper. A spiral grabbed his leg and tripped him. The long dragon twisted around him and began to constrict him as the snapper caught up. Mason lost his grip on his sword and began to claw at the rotting flesh suffocating him. He clawed and bit into the foul creature. He managed to free one arm and he grabbed what was left of an ear and began to twist the head of the creature trying to kill him. He heard a snap and the spiral went limp. Mason shoved the body off of him and rolled toward where his sword fell.
He felt a flash of pain as the snapper grabbed onto his tail and tossed him like a ragdoll. He fell into the lap of another pearlcatcher, but before the zombie could do anything he pushed it away from him and cut its head clean off. Two more corpses shambled over to him and he took care of them quickly. Soon it was just him and the snapper. This corpse must have been only a few weeks old as it still had a lot of flesh on it, and therefore still had the nearly impenetrable natural armor of snappers. 
The snapper had backed Mason into a large pine tree. It hit Mason’s arm with its paw, making him drop the sword.
Mason gulped as the snapper opened its mouth and lunged forward. Mason flinched and closed his eyes.
He could feel the snapper’s teeth around his throat, but it did not close its mouth.
With caution, he opened his eyes. Lazarus approached him, as her undead minion stayed still with Mason at its mercy.
“You didn’t win,” Lazarus said “But twelve out of thirteen ain’t bad.” She snapped her claws and the snapper released Mason.
“Color me impressed.” Lazarus took off with the snapper trotting after her on the ground.
Mason caught his breath as he held his chest. His heartbeat felt out of control. He had several bites and cuts that oozed blood and the tip of his tail throbbed with pain.
Perryn caught up.
“Wow. You impressed her. That’s no easy feat,” Perryn offered his paw and Mason accepted it. They helped Mason to his feet.
“You good?” Perryn asked.
“Just… A bit shaken.”
“Understandable,” Perryn gave Mason some water as they looked Mason up and down. “You’re a bit bruised and bloodied, but it’s nothing Blanche can’t fix. I think you’re ready for Luminax.”
Mason spit out the water “Come again?”
Perryn grinned “That’s right. As soon as you’re healed, we’re finally taking down that monster.”
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tatooedlaura-blog · 4 years ago
Text
Fancy Paper Napkins
because doesn’t everybody eat their fancy meals with fancy paper napkins ...
Our Moments: Chapter 1: Five Words (post-Leonard Betts) Chapter 2: Sidebar Nonsense (post-Memento Mori) Chapter 3: Interim (floating somewhere around Unrequited) Chapter 4: Max 2.0 (post-Tempus Fugit/Max) Chapter 5: Shadowed Grey Eyes Chapter 6: The Warmest Thing I Own Chapter 7: Fancy Paper Napkins @today-in-fic
&&&&&&&&&&
He actually slept, his mind calm, until he heard her whispering in his ear, “what are you cooking and when will it be ready?”
Opening his eyes, he saw hers staring at him, awake and bright, “what?”
“I’m hungry and I saw the crockpot plugged in.”
He broke into a grin, more from her proximity than anything else and forcing himself not to look at her mouth, not to think of that kiss, “mushrooms. Garlicy, buttery mushrooms that have been slow cooking in the crockpot,” looking over her head at the clock, “for four hours.” Sitting up quickly, “shit. I have to go stir them.”
Rolling off the bed, he disappeared down the hall, Scully close behind, “they won’t burn.”
“I’ll feel better when I see for myself.” Finally in the kitchen, he opened the crockpot, stirred with the big spoon, and glad to see the mushrooms soft and unburned, offered Scully a taste. Refusing with an, ‘I’d like to wait for dinner,’ he nodded towards the fridge, “go grab the steak, would you?”
They ate like civilized people, at the kitchen table, forks, knives, fancy paper napkins …
… “I refuse to use cloth ones because they’re too damn hard to clean.”
… “Did I say anything?”
… “No.”
… “Then why are you arguing at me?”
and a bottle of not-so-cheap wine Mulder found in his travels through Scully’s cupboards.
“I shouldn’t drink this.”
“Will it lower your inhibitions? Will you sweep off the coffee table and dance on it if I wave a bunch of ones at you? Will you tell me all your secrets?”
She couldn’t keep her hand from shaking as she poured them both glasses, “mostly I’m thinking that it’ll make me fall asleep even early that I probably would have already.”
Ignoring the tremor, “as long as you stay awake enough for ice cream.”
“I will do my best.”
She made it through half the steak, a bowl of mushroom, and three spoons of mashed potatoes, before finally giving in, trading her plate for Mulder’s empty, who continued to eat without pause. Watching him, she had to smile, “thank you.”
“For finishing your food? No problem.”
Not able to articulate at that particular moment that she was actually thanking him for a thousand things at once, she simply agreed, wondering if he’d figure it out on his own, “yeah, I wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”
Giving her a grin, he finished her food, then stood, “give me ten minutes to do dishes and put everything away, then we’ll argue about movies.”
“Let me load the dishwasher, at least. You won’t do it right and I’ll just have to redo it when you’re not looking.” Standing as well, she bumped hips with him as she walked past, “save me the trouble.”
Twisting up his leg, he hit her on the butt with his stocking foot, “smartass.”
They finally settled on several movies but still sitting on the couch, facing a blank TV and a window with a sunset just beginning to tint the room pink, Mulder gently poked her in the side, “how’re you doing?”
Feeling the urge to move, to take advantage of feeling okay for the moment, “I think I’d like to go for a walk.”
Up immediately, he leaned in, kissing the tip of her nose, “any destination in mind?”
“Just … around.”
“Around it is.”
&&&&&&&&&
Warm enough to wander without jackets, they headed out her front door and turned left, bare arm brushing bare arm as they walked. They didn’t say much, commenting on scurrying squirrels here, a cute cat in the window there, Mulder catching a waywardly stumbling child tripping past, “geez, if I had known we were going to be experiencing a Norman Rockwell painting, I would have combed my hair and put on a clean shirt.”
Her laughter hit his ears like his favorite song and reaching over, he took her hand, never asking, never letting go as they circled and turned, ambled and veered. She didn’t argue, her thin, cool fingers enjoying his warmth.
But even on her best days lately, she gave in quicker than she’d have liked, 45 being the magic number of minutes she lasted until, “I think I’m ready for some ice cream.”
Giving her hand a squeeze, “ice cream it is. What kind should we start with?”
Discussion ensued and by the time they were in their pajamas, they’d settled on dark fudge and peanut butter swirl to begin with. Two spoons dove in, two spoons sampled, occasionally Scully would pull her loaded spoon out and looking at Mulder, found his mouth wide open, waiting expectantly.
And by God, she fed him.
The first time felt a little weird but by the third time he did it, she was laughing, “can you not feed yourself fast enough?”
“Nope.”
That was good enough for her.
Once the gorging finished, they’d had at least one spoonful out of each carton Mulder had bought, six in all, the flavors running the gambit and Scully full and happy and sleepy. “Are you going to be able to sleep with all that sugar in your system?”
Mulder grinned, chocolate rimming his lips, “if not, I’ll have a TV to keep me company while you drool all over your pillow.” A relieved sigh, one she didn’t know she was holding, escaped, and Mulder cocked his head, suddenly worried, “y’a’right?”?”
And deciding there was no reason not to tell him, “I think I was nervous you were going to go home tonight and,” another sigh, this one embarrassed, “it’s been a really nice day and if you went home, it would be over and,” slight wobbly smile appearing, “I don’t want it to be over just yet.”
Knowing something funny was in order, he raised an eyebrow in her direction, “is that some veiled attempt at asking me to move in here?”
Her smile steadied, “just go start the movie.”
&&&&&&&&&
Midnight rolled around and even though Scully had given in and gone to bed, Mulder was still awake and indeed watching TV, some cooking show he’d never admit to enjoying but enjoyed nonetheless. The sound was off and suddenly, the quiet of the darkened apartment was broken by Scully calling from the bedroom, “Mulder?”
It didn’t sound like a nightmare which, in his mind, could only mean she needed help. Jogging down the hall, he was in her doorway a second later, “yeah? You okay?”
Still laying down, she met his nervous gaze, her own a unique brand of terrified confusion, “am I still here?”
Immediately walking to the other side of the bed, he crawled under the covers, his hand meeting her cheek after she rolled over to face him, “yeah. You’re right here, in your bed.” When her terror didn’t fade, he continued, quieter, moving to meet her forehead with his, “you’re with me, in your apartment,” hand moving to the back of her neck, “whatever you dreamt wasn’t real.”
“It will be.” Feeling the bed shake as she hitched a silent sob, she managed a cracked whisper, “I don’t want to die.” Her fingers ran over his cheek, his ear, “I don’t want to go anywhere without you.”
The tear escaped before he could blink it away but he kept the others in, reservoir full but holding, “we’re gonna beat this. I guarantee it.”
She couldn’t bring herself to believe him anymore and she couldn’t keep up the lie at this hour, “you don’t know that.”
“But I choose to believe it.” Hand in her hair by now, he pulled her close enough that their noses were smushed together and eyelashes tangled, “I need to believe it.”
Maybe she could pretend a little more after all, “do you believe enough for both of us?”
“I believe enough for this whole damn world. You should know that by now.”
She could only nod against him, bringing their mouths to millimeter distances but refraining, crippling fear not a good enough reason to cross the line between them, “can you stay right here with me, tonight?”
He crossed it for them, a quick brush of lips, a quick nuzzle of noses, “I won’t move until you do.”
“I don’t want you to leave me alone.”
Both knew the translation of that:
I don’t want to die alone.
&&&&&&&&
The next morning, Scully opened her eyes to find Mulder still sharing her pillow, not touching anymore but close enough to have him blurry in front of her instead of clear. For five seconds, she forgot her world and felt warm fuzzies chasing through her, up and down her spine, settling low.
Then, reality set in with a resounding thud.
Pulling back, she sat up, turning quickly so he wouldn’t see the tears racing down her face. Neither could ignore the echoing sob, however and Mulder, already half-awake, sat up, confusion clearing in a heartbeat as he slid across the mattress, arm around her front, hugging her back to his chest. Kissing her neck and that hated, fucking scar, “we’re gonna win. I swear to God, we’re gonna win.”
And they cried together.
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katnissmellarkkk · 3 years ago
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Chapter Three
Hiiii, all you cool cats and kittens 😂😂😂😂. Okay but seriously, imma just word vomit all the things I need to cover in this author’s note — that I can remember.
I’ve been writing this chapter for like a week, I’m super nervous about it, I’m really sorry if this angst is upsetting you, I am gonna do my best to make it all right in the end, the angst is gonna continue though for a bit longer, yes this fic is only 10 chapters, yes I still want your comments even if you’re upset, my eye is still having trouble so I can’t look at a computer screen for too long because it physically hurts so I’m editing on my phone and there is a high chance I’ll re-edit these chapters after my eye isn’t all Heltor Skeltor anymore.
Okay I think that’s everything, I very much am gratefully for all the feedback I’ve received and I hope you all continue to read this fic.
Peeta stayed for hours after that. He smiled and laughed and, for a while, made me forget all about my unbearable loneliness, how empty this home feels, how uncomfortable I am with the prospect of my mother moving on with her life, how much I really miss my sister right now.
How I miss my sister more than anything.
He still makes me feel safe, I realized, as we sat on the couch and ate our third helping of the chocolate cake he’d baked for me. He knows how much I love chocolate from all the meals we shared on the train.
“Actually, from the time you decided to just eat the chocolate fountain by itself,” he had corrected. Off my quizzical look, he added, “At Snow mansion? We were there for a party?”
“Our engagement party?” I amended, teasing him a little.
My attempt at levity works as I watch his mouth contort into smirk in response. “Sorry, I guess I forgot what party it was.”
“They did drag us to a lot of them,” I agreed, not foreseeing the jab he was about to throw.
“And you pigged out at every one of them.”
I pretended to be offended for a moment but his proud laughter made me lose the facade far sooner than I should have. The joyful glint to his gaze, the way his body language was relaxed and open, the way he seemed to remember small details of our shared past now, I just couldn’t hold even a false grudge against him. I just couldn’t help giggling alongside him.
But he had to leave around dinner time, having an appointment to get the construction for the new rebuilt bakery approved and in motion.
As soon as he departs, and I’m left once again inside a void, hallow house that only emphasizes the greatest loss of my life—the one I’ll probably never go a single day without feeling the ache of—I decide I need to leave too. I decide as soon as I glance around the empty place that it’d be in my best interest to get out as well, to prolong the inevitable despair the deserted home brings come nightfall.
My first thought is to drop off the liquor I picked up for Haymitch a few days ago at the train station. He was passed out drunk and I was already there and it seemed at the time like a good bargaining chip when he was feeling particularly caustic towards me. Which lately had been often.
Now it just poses a good excuse to go talk to the sour man, to perhaps pick his brain about Bailey Robyn. To perhaps see what he knows that I don’t about the mysterious girl who blew into both our lives.
And only evidently disturbed one of them.
He has clearly has gotten to know her better than I have, and he’s quite transparently taken quite a liking to her. If I want to know this girl, or even begin to understand what Peeta sees in her, it only makes sense to get Haymitch to share some details in exchange for his favorite liquor.
After all, our entire relationship has always been a series of bargains, one way or another.
Throughout mine and Peeta’s entire time together—which amounted to the whole afternoon—he had never once mentioned Bailey. He hadn’t said she was waiting for him or what she thought about the cake or if she even knew he would be at my house today.
And for some reason that led me to assume she was busy in town somewhere. That she was working on the salon she mentioned wanting to start up, that she was out doing things herself, that she wasn’t even concerned with Peeta celebrating my birthday today.
That she wasn’t sitting on Haymitch’s counter, talking to him about that very subject.
“It just doesn’t make me feel great, you know?” Her clear and high voice rings out from the window right as I’m gearing up to barge my way inside the pig sty. “I want to go with him, in case he has an episode or something, and he tells me no. Like flat out, full stop, no.”
I slip in through the unlocked front door, quiet as a mouse, eavesdropping like I know I shouldn’t. Like I know is a complete violation of privacy, both for Bailey and for Haymitch. And maybe even Peeta, since he’s the one they’re conferring about.
“He’s stubborn,” Haymitch agrees, sounding more sober than I’ve heard him in months. Sounding more sober than I’ve seen since we were in Thirteen. “Try mentoring him in the games.”
Bailey scoffs at that. “No. You couldn’t pay me enough.”
They share a laugh and I feel my hands tighten around the bottle, as an extremely uncomfortable sensation settles into the pit of my stomach.
They sound like old friends. They sound happy and pleased to be hanging out and conversing. And if I’m being honest, it gives me one more reason to instinctively dislike Bailey, despite the fact that I’m trying hard not to.
Because in the short time she’s been in Twelve, she’s slid into my place in both Peeta and Haymitch’s lives with complete and utter ease. Even beyond taking my place, she’s outrankedme in both men’s lives and entirely knocked me out of the saddle.
That’s what disturbs me above all else. Because—even though I’d never admit it about Haymitch—they were mine. They were my family. They were all I had. They were my haven from the darkness surrounding my entire life. The three of us were a team once.
And now it feels like she didn’t join the group, she kicked me out of it entirely. Haymitch has never had me sit on the counter of his kitchen—not that I really wanted to, the place is absolutely filthy—and talk about my problems. He’s always mocked my feelings and troubles, when they didn’t pertain to the war or rebellion.
I don’t get what is so special about this girl that the two most important people in my life are willing to just let her in. Are just willing to let her take me out without a second thought.
“I mean, is it odd that I wanted to be included?” She inquires genuinely and to my surprise, once again, my old mentor gives her a pretty thoughtful answer. For Haymitch Abernathy, at least.
“They’re both a little weird. War messes with people. Especially kids,” he murmurs and then grunts uncomfortably. “Don’t get worked up over nothing. Just let whatever happened go and try to be happy.”
For some reason, even without hearing my name mention specifically, I’m fully convinced that they’re conversing about me as well as Peeta. About our afternoon together, void from Bailey’s presence. Without hearing my own name, I still know in my bones I walked in on a talk about me.
Bailey wanted to come today and Peeta told her no? Peeta told her an unequivocal no? Because he wanted to spend time with just me?
That satisfies me beyond measure. That makes me even happier than the carefully handcrafted birthday cake did.
Suddenly, for the first time since she’s arrived in Twelve, I don’t feel like Peeta put me on the back burner to make her more comfortable. I don’t feel like I’m being slided so she can be accommodated to her liking. And that’s a better present to me than anything else I could have asked for.
“But I’m his girlfriend,” she states quietly, before sighing deeply and setting down a glass that she must have been drinking from. Risk-taker, she is. “And I just feel like every day all he thinks about is Katniss. He’s either worried about her or afraid of her.”
Now that catches me completely off-guard. Peeta’s afraid of me? Is he telling Bailey something I don’t know? What did I do that he’s so afraid of?
Please, I internally beg to no one. Please tell me he doesn’t still think of me as a mutt. Please tell me he doesn’t feel the same way about as he did in Thirteen.
No, I venomously refute. That wouldn’t make sense. If he still thought of me that way—the way Snow tried to brainwash him into—he would surely not be baking me a cake and spending an afternoon alone with me.
At least, I don’t think so.
But I’m always wrong nowadays and I long ago learned to stop trusting my instincts because they don’t any good for me in the end anyway and I just end up more jumbled and confused and stressed than I started out.
I take a deep breath to calm myself down just as Haymitch mutters, “That description isn’t a far cry from the kid I met two years ago on the tribute train.”
Evidently, I breathed out too loudly almost immediately, Haymitch barks out, “Is that you, girl?”
Realizing I’m caught, I rip off the bandaid and step out of the corner of the entryway, where I was hiding. “Sorry, I just got here,” I quickly explain. And then, despite my atrocious acting ability, I throw out for good measure, “I didn’t hear anything you guys said, I just didn’t want to interrupt.”
Neither of them believe me. In fact, they both appear pretty disgusted with me now. But when I pass Haymitch the bottle of liquor, his features shift and I feel him lightly pat me on the head as he passes me to grab a bottle opener.
“Haymitch,” Bailey murmurs unceremoniously, as she hops off the counter with a grace I have no dream of ever possessing. “I’m going to head on home.”
Her eyes meet mine for a split second before flirting away, and all I see there is irritation.
I hope she doesn’t try again to make nice in a day or so. Quite frankly, there’s a reason I never made many friends. Social interactions aren’t my thing and they just wear me out unnecessarily. Especially girls, who only want to gossip about other people or share clothes or irrelevant life tips. I’d much rather be left alone in solitude than have to yo-yo with Bailey’s mood swings.
Haymitch has always empathized with this trait of mine. More than empathized. He embodied it to the fullest, in a way I never even have. That’s what makes it so startling to me that he’s found such a friend with Peeta’s new girlfriend. It’s downright shocking how pleasant he is towards her.
When he returns now, she’s already gone and he’s right back to his surly self.
“No one clears a room like you do, sweetheart.”
But I’m not interested in swiping back and forth with one another. “Why are you hanging out with Bailey Robyn?”
Haymitch rolls his eyes as he takes a seat at his still unwashed kitchen table.
I mean, if Bailey wanted to help clean in here, that’s where I would have suggested to start.
“The better question, Katniss, is why are youhanging out with Peeta alone? How do you think that makes his girlfriend feel?”
“He’s my friend,” I argue, infuriated by the implication that I have to go through a random stranger to be around Peeta now. Infuriated that it’s Haymitch making the implication nonetheless.
“But he isn’t!” The old man snaps back. “Peeta isn’t your friend, Katniss. You look at him like he hung the moon and you do it right in front of his new girl.”
“No, I don’t,” I retort sharply, because I definitely don’tand I repel the accusation.
“Anyone with eyes can see your stupid little crush,” he exclaims and it stings. The words sting for some reason and I feel the ache in my chest come back once again, because apparently I’m stepping over a line I didn’t even know was there and I’m once again the root of every problem and it’s all becoming too much.
Evidently, Haymitch just doesn’t care if he hurts me today. “Just back off of the boy. Let him be happy for once.”
I uncharacteristically spit an unkind name at Haymitch as I slam his door in my furious wake.
Through his still open kitchen window though, I hear him chuckle. “Well, that’s one I haven’t heard before, sweetheart.”
Read More On AO3 Where The Italics Actually Work
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thatfanficstuff · 4 years ago
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Impossible - 11
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Pairing: Reader x Eric Northman
Warnings: nope
A/N: I no longer have access to true blood so i’m going off of episode summaries and my poor, poor memory so this will be diverting even further from the show than it has been. As a reminder, Jason never met Amy and never kidnapped Eddie. 
***
It was past dawn before Eric and you finally slept so it didn’t surprise you to discover it was after one when you woke. You grabbed a bag and filled it with what you needed for several days. Odds were you wouldn’t make it more than a couple without Eric coming to retrieve you anyway.
When you got to Sookie’s you twisted the knob intending to just walk in as usual. You frowned when you found the door locked. It wasn’t like her to lock up when she was home, but there was a killer on the loose. You knocked but received no answer. A walk around the house to the other door yielded the same results.
You huffed a sigh and pulled out your phone to call her.
“I am so sorry,” she answered before you even said a word.
“Where are you?”
She paused before answering which meant whatever she said next was likely to be at least a half-truth if not a full out lie. “It sort of slipped my mind you were coming. Sam and I are running an errand out of town. We should be back before dark.”
You clenched your teeth to keep from saying any of the many things that came to mind. “I don’t suppose you have a key hidden around here anywhere?”
“Not since Dawn. Jason has a key. I could tell him to let you borrow it.”
Seeing Jason Stackhouse ranked at the very bottom of the list of things you wanted to do that day. “I can manage. I’ll see you later.” You hung up before she could respond. It was probably safer that way.
You spent your time waiting in a booth at Merlotte’s. You ate a meal while you read a book you kept in your truck for when you needed to entertain yourself. When Lafayette had a break, he’d come out and sit so the two of you could catch up.
The sky had grown dark before you noticed and you gathered your things to head back to Sookie’s. You parked beside Sam and grabbed your bag. You didn’t bother to knock when you got to the door. Part of you wished you had when you caught Sam and Sookie making out on the sofa. You cleared your throat and they jumped away from each other. “Am I interrupting something?” Your lips twitched.
“Yeah, you are,” Sam answered with an irritated expression on his face.    
“No, of course not,” Sookie was quick to correct. She gave Sam a look as she hopped to her feet.
His disgruntled expression had a smile flirting with your lips again.
“I think Y/N has it from here, Sam.”
That got Sam off his ass. He turned so his back was to you as if that would keep you from hearing their conversation. “Don’t you think we should talk about this?”
“Not really no.” Sookie had that tight look she got whenever she was in an uncomfortable situation. Apparently, she was having second thoughts about that kiss. That was unfortunate. As much as Sam could annoy the piss out of you, he was so much better for her than Bill would ever be.
“Sook.” It may have been only one word, but Sam’s tone spoke volumes.
“Sam, I asked Y/N to help me out by stayin’ with me. I won’t be any ruder to her than I already have been.” She walked over to the door and opened it. “Now, I thank you for all of your help, but it’s time for you to go.”
Sam’s gaze darted between the two of you before settling on your friend. “All right, Sookie. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He leaned forward to kiss her as he passed. She turned her head at the last moment so he kissed her cheek. His sigh was audible as she shut the door behind him.
She locked the door before facing you. You gave into the smile you’d been fighting and her shoulders slumped as she groaned and wiped a hand down her face. “What am I going to do?” she moaned as she walked past you. She dropped onto the couch and you sat beside her.
She leaned her head on your shoulder. “I sure am glad you’re here, Y/N.”
You hummed in agreement. “While I expect the full story about what I just walked in on, we need to talk about last night first. What happened?”
Sookie took a deep breath and sat up straight. “There was a party at Merlotte’s for Arlene and Rene. I was feeling sorry for myself on account of Bill taking off the way he did so I was helping Sam out to keep my mind off things. I went inside for some more ice when I got this vision of a girl being killed.”
She shivered and you frowned. You couldn’t imagine being able to see the things she did. It had to be horrible.
“He was so angry. That was worse than what I saw. The overwhelming anger. I finally came to my senses enough to realize that the killer had to be there. I dropped to the floor and just missed a knife that slammed into the bar. I screamed and just focused on putting as much room between him and me as possible. The next thing I knew I crashed into Sam as I tried to see what was going on behind me.”
“I assume you called the police? Or what passes for them around here anyway?”
She nodded. “Of course, but there wasn’t much they could do. He was right there and I didn’t get a look at him. I’m so stupid.”
You grabbed her hand to make certain you had her attention. “Surviving is never stupid, Sookie. What good would it have done for you to see who it was if you died in the process?”
“I guess you’re right.” She turned on the sofa so she faced you and bounced in her seat a little. “Sam and I might have figured out who it is anyway.”
Your brows shot up. “Way to bury the lead, Sook. Tell me what you know.”
“When I had that vision last night, the girl that was killed was wearing a name tag from this pie place not too far from here. Her name was Cindy. Sam and I went up there to ask some questions today.”
“You did what now?” You loved your friend but sometimes you wished she thought things through a little more. “And what if the killer finds out you were asking questions? You’re going to make yourself a target.”
She shook her head. “You’re assuming I’m not already. But listen, so this girl named Cindy was killed and her brother disappears while they’re investigating. The police haven’t been able to find him. We tried to get some information from them, but they wouldn’t tell us anything. They’re supposed to be sending a picture to Bud.”
You had no doubt you could get the information much faster than they could. “What’s this guy’s name?”
“Drew Marshall.”
***
You sent the information to your father asking for him to find out what he could. Realistically you knew it would be the next evening before you heard anything. It was unlikely he’d have a contact at such a small precinct but he’d surprised you before. Sookie and you watched a movie and stayed up late talking. Well, it was late for her. You were always more comfortable in the night. That happened when you were raised by vampires.
After she went to bed, you passed your time by texting Eric who kept threatening to come drag you home. It was past dawn before you found sleep. As such, it took you a minute to process what was going on a few hours later when Sookie burst into your room yelling your name.
“Hold on. Hold on,” you instructed as she fired out words in a rapid burst of confusion. You sat up and raked a hand through your hair. “Okay. Start again. Slower this time.”
“There’s been another murder. Some one night stand of Jason’s. He’s been arrested.”
Shit. “All right, Sookie. Calm down as much as you can and go get dressed. We’ll go down to the station and see what’s going on.”
She nodded and hurried from the room. Jason Stackhouse was a lot of things but you weren’t certain he was capable of murder, despite your history with him. There was only one way to find out. With a sigh, you tossed aside the covers and climbed out of the bed.
***
You’d barely put the truck in park before Sookie had her door open and jumped out. You shook your head but didn’t try to stop her as you followed at a more sedate pace. By the time you joined her at the desk, she was already giving Andy Bellefluer a piece of her mind.
“If you’d give me a minute—”
“I’m not giving you anything, Andy Bellefluer. How stupid do you have to be to think my brother killed gram never mind all those other people? How could you believe such a thing?”
“I was trying to—”
Sookie cut him off again. “Did you not get the picture they were supposed to be sending you of the actual killer? Of course, Sam and I had to find that for you.”
Andy turned to you with an exasperated expression. “Help me out here, would you?”
You held up your hands. “Don’t look at me. I’m strictly here to watch her back. You’re on your own.”
He sighed and rolled his eyes as he put his attention back on Sookie. “Your brother—”
“Didn’t do this. That much I know and if you think—”
“He confessed!” Andy yelled over the top of her.
She visibly deflated. “What?”
“Jason Stackhouse walked into the station and turned himself in. He told us that there was a dead woman in his bed and we needed to lock him up before he hurt anyone else. I’m sorry, Sookie but that’s what happened.” The sympathy in his gaze had you rethinking your earlier assessment of the detective. Maybe he wasn’t so bad.
Sookie licked her lips and gave a nod. “Could I see him? Just for a minute?”
He hesitated for a moment. “Yeah. I suppose that would be all right. Come on.”
You had intended to stay in the lobby but Sookie grabbed your hand and pulled you along with her.
Jason no sooner laid eyes on his sister than he started protesting. “What’s she doing here?”
Andy opened his mouth to answer only to be cut off by Jason asking Sookie the same question. The detective rolled his eyes at once again being cut off by a Stackhouse and you couldn’t help a little grin. Poor Andy.
“Why are you doing this, Jason? We both know you didn’t kill anyone.” She dropped your hand to wrap her hands around the bars that separated her from the last of her family.
“You don’t know that, Sook. Hell, I don’t even know that. Maybe I did kill all those girls and I just don’t remember. But I do know I can’t hurt anyone else if I’m in here.”
“Don’t do this,” she practically begged.
Jason looked from her to the detective. “Get her out of here, Andy. I don’t wanna see her.” He stepped away from the bars and turned his back on his sister.
“Come on, Sookie,” Andy said as he patted her shoulder.
She hesitated only a moment before following him to the door. They glanced back to see if you were following, but you hadn’t moved. “I’ll be along in just a moment. Jason and I have some unfinished business.”
The detective glanced between you and Jason before nodding once and leading Sookie to the lobby.
“I ain’t got nothing to say to you, Y/N,” Jason said, his back still turned. His shoulders were tight with tension.
“Don’t care if you do. I have something to say to you.” You gave him a minute but when he didn’t respond you continued anyway. “Maybe I killed people and don’t remember doesn’t sound like much of a confession, Stackhouse.”
“You don’t know anything about it.”
“I know I’m rarely wrong when it comes to people and you aren’t a killer, Jason. You’re dumb as shit but you aren’t a killer.”
He snapped around, scowling at you for the insult. “I’m not stupid.”
You shrugged as if it didn’t matter to you and it didn’t. You weren’t going to argue the point with him. “I do want to know how someone gets killed in your bed without you knowing about it until it’s too late.”
His chin jutted forward as he clenched his teeth.
“My guess is you were wasted or high and slept through the whole thing.”
Fear flashed across his face before he schooled his features, but he remained silent.
You hummed as the corner of your lips curled into a small smile. “Got it in one. What’s your poison? Weed? Meth? V?”
His eyes widened and he stepped back as you said the last. You arched a brow. He was even dumber than you thought.
“You can’t tell him. Please Y/N, I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t tell him,” he begged.
“Tell who? Andy?”
“No, that scary ass motherfucker at Fangtasia. He said he’d cut my balls off with a rusty spoon if I ever used V again. I like my balls where they are, Y/N.”
“Eric doesn’t want to touch your balls, Jason. Trust me. You’ll be fine.”
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pillage-and-lute · 4 years ago
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The Courting Ways of Wolves (Part 2)
It’s back! Dumb boys in love! Also Grandpa Vesemir gets some feels and Geralt does some math. Part 1, (here) Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Epilogue
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Watching Winter at Kaer Morhen melt into early spring was always a beautiful process, but this year brought Geralt trepidation as well. Watching Ciri train had been wonderful, helping her learn the basics kept all the wolves on their toes, for the first time in many years actually thinking about motions that normally came from muscle memory. 
Yennefer had flourished into her role as “Aunty Yen,” not sweetly nurturing, the way one often thought about with children, but a clever tongue and tough love that Ciri, granddaughter of the Lioness, seemed completely at home with. 
Geralt was doing his best too. Ciri had started calling him dad about halfway through the winter, the first time happening at dinner and he’d very nearly choked on his ale. It sent something warm running through his veins every time, like good brandy that burned all the way down. 
He was trying, words still didn’t come naturally, but somehow Ciri always seemed to be able to see exactly what he meant. Maybe it was Destiny, maybe just a hurt, lost child clinging to whoever was consistent in her life, but Geralt hoped it was more. More than anything, he hoped Ciri truly understood how cared for she was, not just by himself, but all the wolves, Jaskier, and Yennefer.
Ciri had whispered to him one day, still panting after training, asking if he thought Yen would mind if she called her mom.
Geralt had replied that he didn’t think Yennefer would mind at all.
Yennefer came to him later, a tender look in her eyes. There was something, not fragile in her eyes, but Jaskier had pointed out in a marketplace once, a beautiful porcelain vase that had been broken and artfully repaired with gold. Yen’s expression reminded him of that. 
They sat for a while, then Yennefer said, “Will you be able to let go of her in the spring?” 
“Yes,” Geralt said, although he was less than sure that parting from Ciri would be so easy. “She needs you, and time away from me. And to be around women.”
Yennefer nodded, gave Geralt a pat on the shoulder, and left. Geralt stayed, cloak wrapped around him as he sat looking out over the walls. 
There was much that would happen in the spring, and his life, which had been pretty stagnant before, was changing more in these past few years than it ever had. He felt like Kaer Morhen itself, built to last and yet crumbling still, the weight of change and time and destiny tearing down walls. 
He watched the sun go down. 
Vesemir joined him, carrying two bowls of stew. Geralt took a bite of his and winced. It had been Eskel’s turn to cook. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Vesemir’s mustache twitch with a hint of a smile. They ate the oversalted meal in silence.
“You know,” Vesemir said, and in the starlight the crags on his face looked carved in. “I come up here to think too.” 
Geralt knew, but Vesemir wasn’t interested in talking about the battlements, he could tell. 
“I think, most nights, about the ghosts within these walls. All of the little boys who died so that the School of the Wolf could be.” The wind picked up, howling like, with an excellent sense of the dramatic, a wolf. 
“The Trials haunt me, Geralt. More than anything in my life, and it has been a long life indeed.” 
“You saved me,” Geralt said. “Saved Eskel.” But he too remembered the still bodies carried out and buried in the night. How few boys remained. Remembered the screaming in the night, unsure how much of the sound was torn from his own throat, and what came from his brothers dying around him.
“I let them put you through it twice. That wasn’t salvation, lad.” Vesemir sighed. “I couldn’t have put a stop to the Trials, don’t know if I would have if it were possible, there have to be Trials to be witchers, and the world needs us, whatever it may believe. But maybe there was a better way. A kinder way. You were boys, little lads who went through so much pain.”
Geralt was startled to see a tear fall down the craggy face, burying in the moustache. Witchers could cry, but it happened rarely, tears could blur vision in a fight, and only very strong emotion, the sort they had been taught to suppress,  could override the mutations. 
And then Vesemir put an arm around Geralt’s shoulder and gave him an oddly nice hug. It could have cracked a boulder.
“Someone should have held you boys more,” Vesemir said, a touch abashedly. They looked out over the walls some more and Geralt wondered if the conversation was over, but Vesemir didn’t take the arm away.
“Ciri called me Grandpa today.”
Ah. That would explain a lot. Watching Vesemir interact with Ciri over the winter had been a delight and a surprise to the wolves. He’d even sat her on his knee and told her stories of when Lambert, Eskel, and Geralt were young like a, well, like a doting grandfather. Jaskier had been enthralled as well, naturally, but seeing Vesemir so soft, and sometimes looking a little sad, around Ciri, had been an education for the men who would always think of themselves as ‘Vesemir’s Little Lads’.
“She won’t be a witcher,” Vesemir said. “Couldn’t be even if we would want it, and I never would.”
“No,” Geralt said.
No,” agreed Vesemir. They looked out over the darkened landscape.
“I never wanted a family,” Vesemir said after a while where their breaths hung in the air before them. “‘O course, witchers aren’t supposed to, but you’ve built a nice little family for yourself, laddie. It’s not as may be, not like you’d find in villages or in your pet bard’s fancy songs. But you’ve a brave and rather headstrong daughter, and she has a mum, and a dad, and two already very protective uncles.”
“And a grandpa,” Geralt cut in.
“And a grandpa,” Vesemir agreed. “But a family needs a little more than that. There’s gotta be someone to teach the lass how to love.”
Geralt was about to protest that he’d seen plenty of loveless marriages, but then considered the results in the children. Jaskier was one, he knew. The sort of lost way Jaskier sucked up approval, when they’d first met, the way he’d drank up compliments like a man with water in the desert, whenever Geralt thought on it there was a sort of humming ache. He’d consulted with Eskel on the feeling, concerned it was illness. Apparently, it was just what happened when someone you loved was hurting and it wasn’t something you could kill or fix.
“It doesn’t need to be romantic love,” Vesemir said, obviously seeing Geralt’s face. “And she’ll know how to love family fine, and how to love friends, as you and Yennefer figure that out between the two of you. But your bard loves you, and the way you love him can teach her how to love others and herself. And if Ciri has another dad maybe you can worry less.”
Geralt chuckled. Ciri could have fifty parents, and Geralt would still lose sleep worrying. Vesemir smiled back at him, eyes crinkling and moustache lifting like a bristle brush that had learned to fly. Then he slapped Geralt on the back, and Geralt, the White Wolf of Rivia, Butcher of Blaviken, the witcher who had twice survived the Trials, felt his spine compress like a spring and he was sure he felt a rib creak.
“Love Jaskier, lad. Hold tight to him. We rarely get good things.”
Then Vesemir walked back inside and Geralt stared after him. There weren’t many old witchers, dangers of the job and all that, but Vesemir was proof that witchers, like oak wood, only solidified with age. 
Geralt followed him inside. 
The next days passed in a flurry of activity. Ciri had been let off of training with the wolves to pack for her journey with Yennefer, and to be quickly given the rundown of the basics of magic. The wolves were packing as well, preparing to leave Kaer Morhen. In between final preparations and weapon repair, Geralt checked over The List.
The List was supposed to help him court Jaskier. It was the combined brainchild of everyone (except Jaskier, of course) at Kaer Morhen. More importantly, his intention to court Jaskier met with Ciri’s approval. 
When the day arrived, Geralt felt a curious lump in his throat. He watched Ciri say goodbye to Eskel and Lambert, the latter picking her up and swinging her in an arc, letting her joyful whoop echo about the courtyard. Then she hugged Vesemir, and he crushed her very gently to him. And then she turned to him and Jaskier. 
He was thankful that Ciri bade Jaskier goodbye first, watching the bard wipe a surupticious tear away as he held the blonde girl. It was Geralt’s turn and he didn’t know what to do. He cleared his throat.
“Follow Yennefer’s instructions,” he said. That didn’t seem like enough. “And don’t talk to strangers,” he said. It still seemed insufficient but he was out of advice so he stuck out his hand to shake. Ciri laughed and leapt at him, throwing her arms around his neck.
He held her there, reveling in hugging his daughter, his child surprise, who was so full of surprises and he felt, for the first time in many years, the feeling of rather full tear ducts. He blinked them away. 
“Good luck,” Ciri whispered in his ear. Jaskier wouldn’t have heard, but the witchers with their enhanced hearing surely had. Geralt nodded and set her down.
He coughed awkwardly and pulled out a little packet wrapped in burlap and some rough twine. Ciri beamed and pulled at the string so that the packaging fell away. A long piece of metal, bent into a thin U shape lay in his palm, the ends were surprisingly sharp. Ciri picked it up and examined it, then looked up at him questioningly. 
“Hair pin,” Geralt said gruffly. “For your hair. And stabbing.” He mimed a clumsy, underhanded stab. “Eskel helped me silver plate it. For monsters. But also men, if they’re close enough.” He trailed off, knowing he sounded awkward. Who gave a self defense implement as a gift?
Ciri beamed at him again. “I love it,” she said, also miming a few stabs. He supposed that as a parent he shouldn’t be so proud of the light in his daughter’s eyes when she talked about stabbing, but he was almost certain that she got that trait from Jaskier, who tended to get...pointed about disagreements in pubs.
Yennefer stepped forward and carefully took the hair pin from their daughter, swooping her silver blonde hair back into a twist and sliding it in place. She placed a hand on Ciri’s shoulder and smiled at Geralt, and he was reminded again of that vase, stronger and more beautiful for the cracks in the facade. She then gave him a quick side hug and and even one for Jaskier, and opened a portal.
Geralt stared after his friend and his daughter long after the portal closed, until Jaskier, hand wrapped in a heavy mitten, gently took his wrist. They waved to the other wolves, and left, Roach walking obediently alongside. 
And then it was just the two of them. Again. Just like the last twenty years. That thought occupied him as they made it down the Killer. The path down from Kaer Morhen was deadly, but that year Geralt made it down without thinking, keeping half a thought to Jaskier’s ambling form as he went.
How old was Jaskier? 
He’d been eighteen or so when they met. Eighteen plus twenty-two was forty. Forty wasn’t that old for a human but Jaskier didn’t look too much different than he had at...Geralt did the math. Twenty-five? But there were signs. A few lines here and there, although Jaskier was insistent about his skincare. A line of silver, just a few hairs, probably unnoticable except to Geralt’s enhanced eyes. He was aging better than a human should.
Or perhaps not. Time was tricky for witchers, never staying in one place, never knowing people long enough to watch them age, he didn’t really know what to compare Jaskier to. 
He did know how long humans lived though. And at the base of the mountain he came to a resolution, felt it settle in to his bones as deep as his mutations, deeper, even. 
Twenty years, or nearly, where he hadn’t known Jaskier. Twenty more where he hadn’t admitted they were friends, or that he loved him. Eighty years in a human life span. And Geralt would love Jaskier, and make sure he knew he was loved, for the next four decades, give or take. He looked at his companion, paused as they were to give their feet and Roach a rest. The weak, watery sun of the early spring day fell on Jaskier’s face, dappled through the branches, which as of yet held no buds.
He pictured lines appearing, laugh lines, smile lines, crinkles carving themselves into the landscape of the familiar features. He pictured silver through the hair, more, in thicker streaks at the temples. Geralt saw a lifetime, Jaskier’s lifetime, in an instant. Silver covered warm brown, strong legs grew shakey, lines crowned a forehead and swept about clear eyes. 
What would happen, Geralt thought, when Jaskier could no longer keep up? But Geralt knew what would happen. He’d take Jaskier to Kaer Morhen, or go with him to Oxenfurt, and spend his days with him. It had been a few short months since he’d realized he was in love with Jaskier, but that was only because Geralt’s skill with emotions was roughly similar to Jaskier’s apparent self preservation. Why had he let the lad talk to him in a pub? Had he loved him then? He remembered the shock of not being feared, of looking into clear, bright eyes and seeing admiration, the fierce protectiveness that had flared when he woke and saw the fool tied to him in an elven lair. Had it been love? 
Watching Jaskier whisper softly to Roach as snow melted around him, Geralt was sure it had been. Destiny, Fate, the two bit tart who kept fucking him over, had given him his greatest blessing in a form that Geralt, up until that very second had considered a myth. Love at first sight. Love had brought him Jaskier, and Ciri, and a fast friendship with the most powerful mage on the Continent. Love had brought him a family in the form of a wayward bard with bread in his pants. And Geralt had forty more years to cherish him. 
Step One the list had said in Eskel’s clear writing. Kiss his hand. Being mindful of Step Two, to mind his manners, Geralt crossed the clearing to Jaskier and took the thick woolen mitten in his gloved hand. 
“May I?” he said. Jaskier gave him a baffled look, but nodded.
Geralt pressed chapped lips to a palm wrapped in knitted wool, and Jaskier smiled, albeit a little confusedly. It didn’t matter. Geralt wanted to spend the next forty years wrapped in that smile. 
Then Jaskier asked him if he was feeling well.
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papergirllife · 4 years ago
Text
Chapter 3
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Synopsis:
You don’t know what it’s like to be free, to make your own choices, and live your own life. For your whole life, your parents have been treating you like a puppet on strings, controlling your life to every single detail, as well as ignoring the fact that you have feelings. Other times, when you disobey their wishes, or speak up about your own opinions, they bash you down with words, in other words, psychological abuse, has led you down the long winded road of depression and anxiety. What happens when you meet a man who’s willing to be your guide out of this terrible downpour? Would you give a shot at happily ever after?
Warnings:
big age gap (kinda?)
issues on anxiety
issues on depression (mild)
issues on parental abuse
smut (maybe)
Tag List: @etherealtyjaem​ ,  @caratzennie  , @johnnysuhnflower  ,  @euphoricchannie  ,  @yeollieseo  ,  @jjhmk  , @sherzess , @wonderfulkoreanpop​
(lmk if you wanna be on the list)
You’ve been seeing Mr Suh, correction, Johnny, his first name, as per requested by Johnny himself.
“Mr Suh makes me feel older than I already am, you make me feel like a teenager all over again, so you have to call me Johnny. Let me relive my days when I was still a college kid.”
You didn’t mind, things aren’t as awkward between the two of you anymore, Johnny’s been spending time with you, although the two of you never established any sort of labelling towards what this relationship is. You and Johnny only hung out and had meals together, trying out different cuisines, watching movies, even going as far as skipping a day at work to go to the amusement park. He even bought you to an arcade when you told him you haven’t had the chance to venture to one since you were in grade school.
“Why haven’t you ever been to one for so long?” Johnny asked when he finished a round of pinball.
“They said it was a waste of time and that I should spend more time studying,” you said, wondering why Johnny would ask that, isn’t it the same for all the kids?
Whenever you mention your confining life to Johnny, he’d have a faraway look in his eyes, jaw locked in silent rebuke, he doesn’t say anything, he pulls you close, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. He would be quite for almost half an hour before he goes back to regular cheerful Johnny, telling you lame jokes that you would surprisingly find funny.
You didn’t have a phone, since your parents forbid you to have one, the only means of communicating is through your email account on your laptop, and even that you must always bear in mind to delete his mails right after, and take further precaution, you didn’t allow him to initiate the sending.
Johnny wanted to buy you one, but you rejected him promptly, you didn’t want him to spend so much money on you, he already spends lots on taking you out to eat. You gave him the excuse that it was too dangerous, and the consequences of getting caught are severe.
You often questioned your relationship with Johnny, you aren’t dumb, you’ve googled him and saw gossip news portals uploading photos of him and some model going out and about in hotels, but those headlines were months ago, the latest news about him was from his interview with Times magazine.
You never had the guts to ask him, you don’t know what you mean to him. What right do you have to question his whereabouts and what he does? He’ll probably be bored of you after he’s known all of you.
You know you shouldn’t think of Johnny that way, it is mean to assume what he’s thinking, especially how well he’s treating you, but seeing those headlines gives you a sense of insecurity, you keep telling yourself that this won’t last, but the thought of not seeing him again made your hair stand. He’s making you happy, a distraction towards the negativity you face in that house you live in, but for how long?
House. You never called it a home, unless you were telling your boss you were leaving, to prevent anyone from questioning your odd way of describing it. It was never a home to you. To you, a home is a place where you feel happy, safe, and most importantly, loved. The closest you’ve ever felt to having these feelings were your grandma and Joh... No, you don’t love him, and he doesn’t love you. What were you thinking?
You pushed those thoughts away as you opened your laptop to double check the files that you’ve typed out for your parent’s next important meeting that was supposed to be taking place first thing tomorrow. But when you went through your folders, the files were nowhere to be seen. It’s then you realised that the notification that keeps urging you to update the laptop was gone, it wasn’t the first time you updated the laptop and found out some files were missing, so you would never update the laptop at such a crucial time.
You took the laptop out to your father who was watching some news on his phone in the dining area to ask him if he had updated the software without alerting you.
“Yes, I did. What about it?” he asked, annoyance on his face due to the sudden disturbance.
“The files are missing because of the update,” you informed him.
“What files?” 
“The files for tomorrow’s meeting, they’re missing,” you told him as you mentally prepared yourself for what’s to come.
“What do you mean missing?! I bet it was because you saved it wrongly again! Your retarded brain never works does it?! Do you know how important those files are?! You always work on them late at night blurry eyed, of course you didn’t save them properly! You could’ve worked on them in the morning before work. but no... You want to ‘exercise’! What a waste of time!” You’re not pretty anyways, what are you doing them for huh?!” Your father shouted, his eyes blazing in rage, his fist slamming onto the glass.
While your father was shouting, your mother was checking the laptop as she complains about how clueless you are. It was like your brain couldn’t take the amount of hurtful words piercing into your mind like daggers, you let out a high pitched scream as tears threatened to fall, your hands covering your ears as your eyes were a blur.
When you could see properly again, you could make up words which sounded like ‘how dare you’ from your father, next thing you registered were the fury in his eyes as he advances on you, hand above his head, ready to hit you. You didn’t know what came over you, but the first thing you did was kicking him away. That’s when a full on fight broke out.
You were filled with rage, your mind wasn’t registering what you were doing. You went into a flight or fight stance and started thrashing and kicking as his hands were holding painfully tight on your wrists after you tried punching him.
Your mom urges the both of you not to fight, her voice barely registering in your head as she sits still on the high chair by the kitchen island, not bothered to even try to cease the fight.
When you finally pushed him away, you ran into your room and locked it. Your chest was heaving from the panic attack that just started, you tried your best to calm yourself down, reminding yourself to breathe, it was suffocating, controlling your breathing as more tears made its way out of your eyes.
When it all stopped, your body succumbed into mental exhaustion, passing out on your bed as the tears finally ceased.
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You only woke up for dinner last night, and proceeded to sleep again. Yesterday’s events made you feel numb, other than the pain from the bruises on your arms.
There was a big ugly one on your left upper arm, its colour an ugly shade of green and purple.  A few other less serious ones scattered around your lower arms. In other words, you look like a wreck.
You wore a jacket to run even though you were sweating from your previous cardio work outs, feeling a little better after the endorphins in your body kicked in. When you got back, you quickly showered and ate a toast. When you asked for your mother’s phone to remind your boss you were going to take the day off, she told you that weren’t needed at the meeting anymore and that she finished everything last night.
“Just call to say that you’ll be going to work,” she said, not even looking in your direction when she handed you her phone.
But when you called to inform your boss, he told you that he had another part time coming in, and that it was too short of a notice. You said thank you and hung up, but said that you’ll be at work on time today before handing it back to your mother.
You really needed to escape for the day.
You opened the laptop and sent an email to Johnny.
I’m free today. Wanna go out?
You sat on your bed staring at the ceiling as you were sure it was going to be a bit before he replied, but just as you closed your eyes, you heard a distant chime from your laptop.
I’m rushing some stuff at the office today. I’m so sorry, Y/N.
Can I stay in your office? I really wanna get out of the house.
You sounded like a spoiled kid begging for attention, but you really wanted to see him today.
Sure. But you might get bored :) .
I’m leaving the house now :) .
For a 26 year old businessman, he sure loves to use emoticons.
You got changed into jeans and a jacket, you don’t usually wear one if you were going to a secluded area with Johnny, but you had to hide all the marks from last night. You just noticed that they hurt after you accidentally knocked your wrist against something.
You took the bus to the address Johnny wrote down on your diary, it was after one of your dinners together, and he jokingly said that you could always swing by if you wanted, you didn’t know you were going to actually do that.
The bus station wasn’t too far of a walk from his office, since it was just downtown Seoul where the Korea’s financial hub was located.
As you were nearing the office buildings, you stood out like a sore thumb, given the way you were dressed and your age. The people kept giving you stink eyes and sideway glances.
Suh Capital Partners. That was it.
You walked in the rotating doors, only to be greeted by masses of people walking around with smart pads, files, talking on the phone while the assistants take notes. Johnny didn’t mention his company being this big.
You admired the facade of the lobby, it displayed the latest news on a large monitor while futuristic lights hung from the high ceiling, the walls were a perfect balance of steel and wood with a wall of plants filled the wall behind the reception area. 
You realised that the people stopped what they were doing before and started looking at you curiously when one of the nicely dressed women from the reception walked up to you.
“Excuse me, miss. May I ask who are you looking for?” the woman asked, her eyes scanning you from top to toe.
You froze at your spot from how cold she sounded, like she didn’t want you around to ruin the aesthetic of the company. You reminded yourself that you weren’t going to see her anytime soon after this and that if you did make a fool of yourself then so be it.
“I’m looking for Mr Suh,” you told her.
She looked taken aback from your answer, but gave you the ugliest sneer when she recovered.
“Miss, this isn’t a school, you can’t just walk in here and demand to see someone without an appointment. Mr Suh is the head of this company, not someone you can just meet without an agreement from him. Please leave this instance,” she said, her tone high pitched enough to gather everyone’s attention, you swore you heard someone laughing a few feet away.
“But...
“That’s my guest, Ms Park.”
You whipped your head back to see Johnny standing behind you. But instead of his usual warm honey eyes, his eyes were a cold and staring daggers into the woman in front of you.
“I’m so sorry, Mr Suh. I’ll get back to my work now,” the woman bowed apologetically, going as far as doing it numerous times.
“I’m going to need a key card for her, Ms Park. Send it up to me when you’re done,” Johnny said, but his eyes were scanning the crowd, his employees immediately went back to what they were doing, the large lobby void of any sound other than people rushing to the lift lobby to escape the scene.
Johnny placed a hand behind your back and guided you to the lift lobby after most of the people have taken the ride up to their respective floors.
“I’m sorry,” you said after the coast was clear.
Johnny’s intimidating stance broke as confusion takes over his face.
“What are you sorry for?” Johnny asked, he should be the one saying sorry.
“I’m such an embarrassment, coming here in my jeans and jacket with a canvas bag, looking like a kid,” you said, fingers nervously tugging the straps of your old bag.
“Hey, hey, hey. Nothing’s wrong with being young and dressing your age. They’re just grumpy from all the work. Don’t take their words into account, and you look great. Perfection as always,” Johnny said reassuringly, hands placed on your shoulder, the warmth of his palms calming you slightly.
“No....
You buried your face into your hands as he patted your head, you sneakily glanced up to see him smiling at you with a toothy grin. But you quickly regained posture as you saw an elevator door open with many pairs of legs.
Johnny wasn’t going in even though the lift was going up, that’s when people in the lift realised it was him, and quickly came out of the lift, saying sorry and greeting Johnny.
Johnny guided you in after the lift was cleared empty. His staff looking at you curiously, you weren’t used to having so many pairs of eyes on you, their curious eyes burning holes into you.
Johnny could sense your anxiousness from the way you were hiding behind his tall figure as the two of you walked into his office, there weren’t many people at that time, given the fact that only direct reports of his business partners came up to hand in documents.
You only felt yourself loosen up a bit after you took a seat on Johnny’s armchair in his huge office, overlooking Seoul’s skyline and the cars that were buzzing about on the roads. The view made you calm down a bit from the journey coming up here.
You felt the chair dip as Johnny took a seat on its armrest, his hands coming up to give your shoulders a nice massage. Johnny smiled at the way your eyes lit up from his comforting touch as you looked back to smile at him, he felt a warm feeling deep in his belly as he takes in your beautiful features and the warmth of your shoulders on his fingertips. But as he puts more pressure onto your shoulders, you wince slightly, which didn’t go unnoticed by him.
“Did your boss at work make you lift heavy stuff again?” Johnny asked, his hands ceased all movements, fearing that he would hurt you again.
You automatically thought of your fight with your father last night, it might be because of the force exerted from when he had pushed you.
“N-no, I just didn’t sleep well last night. I watched a horror movie and had a nightmare,” you lied, not knowing how he would react if you told him the truth.
“Be careful when watching these movies, Y/N. If you went to work and your boss really made you move heavy things today, then you would’ve strain your muscles,” Johnny said, going back to massaging your shoulders, but this time gently applying pressure on that spot, rubbing it in clockwise circles to ease the pain.
“I’m fine, Johnny. Didn’t you have work to rush? I don’t want to keep you away from important matters. And my shoulders feel much better now,” you said, moving away from his hands even though you could’ve let him do that forever, it felt so comforting, borderline addictive.
“Okay, I’ll tend to your shoulders again later.” Johnny said as he lays his head on top of yours, a gesture that he had came up with whenever he wanted to show affection to you without crossing uncharted territories, your heart sped up whenever he does that.
You were just sitting on the couch reading one of your old books when you looked up and saw Johnny frowning at his laptop, you placed your book down and made your way to Johnny.
“Don’t frown like that, you’ll get frown lines when you’ll get older, it’ll spoil your handsome face,” you joked.
Your hands reach out to smooth the creases on his forehead, a smile coming back to Johnny’s face.
“Thank you,” he said, taking your busy hand into his, lightly tracing the area between your thumb and your index finger.
“What’s bothering you?” you asked, unbeknownst to you, your lips were unconsciously set in a pout.
“There’s some documents that are supposed to be sent to my office in Chicago, but the English that’s written here isn’t up to standards, I’m worried the staff there won’t understand what the document is stating. I don’t mind correcting it, but I have other things to tend to as well,” Johnny explained to you.
“Can I take a look at it? I had Cambridge classes for 8 years. Guess it’s finally coming in handy. I mean only if you think I’m capable, I don’t want you to think I’m boasting or anything, I just really wanna help...
“Y/N, sweet, I trust you. Just let me get you a laptop,” he said before dialling to his secretary.
Once Johnny sent the files to that laptop, you started correcting some grammatical errors and replaced some terms that weren’t as professional, when Johnny was done with his meeting, you were done with the documents as well.
“Here, take a look. There might be mistakes,” you said after sending him the files back.
“You were reading ‘me before you’, I think you’re fine, Y/N,” Johnny deadpanned.
“Just take a look, just in case,” you pleaded, doe eyes capturing his heart. Nodding, Johnny smiles, doing as you said.
Johnny scanned through the documents, his eyes lighting up brighter after each sentence, a proud smile making way on his face. When he was done, he pulled you close by the waist, and gave you a warm hug, his head nuzzling into your sweater.
“Thank you so much, sweetheart. I thought I needed to work overtime because of this,” he said, his voice was slightly muffled by the cotton.
“You’re welcome. You can always send me these files when I’m not here, I don’t want you to overwork yourself,” you offered.
“I’m fine, don’t worry. Wanna grab lunch? I can hear your stomach rumbling,” Johnny asked after pulling away, a cheeky glint in his eyes.
You could feel your cheeks heating up in embarrassment, as you hit Johnny’s shoulders lightly for his teasing, a smile creeping up your face.
“No, I’m not...
“Come on, I know this really nice French restaurant around the corner...
“Johnny I have the file you were...
Doyoung stops in his tracks as he sees you and Johnny being so close to each other.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you had a guest,” Doyoung apologises, but his eyes were still wide in disbelief.
“Doyoung. This is Y/N. Y/N, Doyoung is one of my business partners, his dad was my dad’s business partner so now it’s his turn,” Johnny introduces his friend to you, telling you a bit of his background.
You gave Doyoung a tiny bow and soft hello, nerves wrecking up at meeting someone you often see on telly whenever their company has a press conference. You could sense an air of discomfort as Doyoung gives you a questioning look.
“You can just put the files on my desk Doyoung. I’ll take a look at them after my lunch break.”
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When the evening rolled in, Johnny had to drive you home before your mom questioned your whereabouts.
“I really enjoyed having you by my side today, Y/N,” Johnny said sincerely after pulling up outside the gated area.
“I should be the one thanking you, I can’t believe those snails cost so much, yet you won’t let me pay you back whenever we have meals together,” you retorted, recalling how your eyes almost flew out of their sockets when you stole a glance at the bill.
“Money is not an issue, Y/N. I told you that many times before,” Johnny reminded you.
“I’ll see you on Saturday?” you asked, changing the subject before he offers to buy you a house or something.
“Yeah,” Johnny said, chuckling at how you diverted his attention.
Johnny unlocked the doors of his car, but right before you pulled onto the handle, Johnny pulled your arm, the place where one of the bigger bruises were located at, making you wince at the unexpected pain.
“Y/N I wanted to ask, wait. Are you in pain? Are you hurt? Did I accidentally hurt you?” Johnny asked his eyes wide in worry.
Before you could protest, Johnny pushed up the sleeves of your sweater, revealing the big ugly bruise on your upper arm, and several others that went downwards until your wrist.
You looked up at Johnny, scanning his face that was frozen in shock, eyes not believing what he’s seeing. His fingers gently tracing every bruise, his other hand rotating your arm gently, to see if there’s more.
“Y/N... Who did this to you?” Johnny questioned, but deep down in his gut, he’s sure it’s who he thinks it is.
“No one, Johnny. I just fell down when I woke up,” you said, lying through your teeth, you didn’t want to, but that was your survival instinct whenever someone asks about your parents.
“Don’t lie to me Y/N, it’s them isn’t it? They hit you. Why didn’t you tell me?” Johnny demanded, he questions why you don’t trust him, was he not worthy in your eyes?
“It’s nothing, Johnny. Goodnight,” you said in a breath before turning away.
You quickly got out of his car and ran to your lift lobby, Johnny was following behind you. But before he could step into the premise, you shut the glass door which could only be opened with a security card on him, mouthing the words sorry before you made your way into a lift.
Johnny banged at the door, shouting for you to come back, before the security guards asked him to leave. He could feel a prickle in his heart as he sees the bruises in his head, the image fresh. He felt red hot anger boiling in his heart, he was going to get you out of that horrible place, no matter what it takes.
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ithinkweallsing · 4 years ago
Text
Promise
Remus Lupin x Fem Reader
Warning- mild depiction of violence/ blood 
A little angsty with a super fluffy ending, hurt/comfort 
WC- 3.1K 
A/N- Let me know what you think! Huge thank you to @newa0810 for editing this and Spilled Beans! 
__
He was still gone. He should have been back by now.
What was taking him so long? Why was he not back yet? Oh god, what if he had gotten ambushed by Death Eaters?
Your thoughts raced as you anxiously paced the worn floorboards of your little apartment. Remus had been gone for weeks and you hadn’t heard anything. Of course, you couldn’t expect to hear anything from him, but you were still stressed.
You remembered what he said to you that night at Grimmauld Place when he had left for the mission. He had looked tired, but his face was still handsome and peppered with the pale scars that you kissed each night because you had to love them enough for the both of you when he couldn’t. The situation had seemed eerily ominous as you kissed him goodbye. You closed your eyes and pictured the conversation.
“Come home to me in one-piece, ok love?” You told him desperately as the rest of the group was getting ready to leave.
He looked up from his bag and directly into your eyes. “Of course, dear, I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
“Do you promise?” You asked hesitantly.
“I promise on every chocolate bar in Honeydukes that I will be home in one piece for you darling,” He said with confidence.
You let out a strained laugh. “Well, if we’re swearing on Honeydukes chocolate I feel just fine,” you chuckle, momentarily distracted from the fact that he was about to leave for Merlin knows how long. He gave you a small hopeful smile, glad that he could hear your laugh again, if it really is for the last time.
“Do you have enough healing potions?” You asked worriedly, shuffling through your own handbag. “I might have a few extra that you should take-”
He put his hand on yours to cease your searching. “Yes dear, I have plenty, St. Mungos should be investigating your theft of their stores.”
“They can take the loss I’m sure,” You responded with a passive wave of your hand. You had been working at St. Mungos for the past 3 years and the head healer trusted your judgement.
“I lo- I’ll miss you,” He corrected himself, stopping before he could blurt out the words that he had been waiting for the right moment to say for the past two weeks.
You gave him one last tight hug. “I’ll miss you too,” You said into his shoulder. He gripped you tighter for a second before finally releasing and moving out with the rest of the group. Just before the door shut, he caught your eyes again and winked with a small smile. You gave a weak smile in return. Then, the door was shut and he was gone.
That was almost three weeks ago.
You knew you couldn’t be upset, especially with what was going on in the world right now. This stuff was bound to happen. Both of you were often away, leaving the other to worry and fret before eventually coming home to each other. You felt like an idiot, an anxious and stupid, idiot.
What if he never came back and you had never gotten the chance to say the big word to him?
You had of course known that you loved him; you had known for a while, but you were never sure when you were supposed to say it. Everyone always talks about the magic of hearing the love of your life say ‘I love you’ for the first time, but what if you had missed it now because you were too scared to say it to him before he left?
“What if he doesn’t come back?” You asked the empty space in a small voice.
He had never been gone this long, neither of you had. You had not been given any details about the mission for security reasons, the less people that knew the better, but you did know that it was dangerous. It felt different this time; you were used to sleeping next to him with his arms around you, giving you a warm embrace of security and comfort, or wrapping him in your arms to give him comfort after the full moon. You were not used to going without it, without him for this long. He would disappear for a few days around his time of the month, but this was different, there was no assurance that he was ok or that he was even alive.
You had taken to sleeping on the sofa, not that it mattered because you hardly slept anyways. The bags under your eyes were a token from your multiple restless nights, and the fog that had yet to clear from your mind served as a constant reminder of how much you needed him. A fog that only cleared after a Vitamix potion, taken for the sake of your patients at the hospital.
You wandered around your apartment in one of his sweaters, you didn’t live together but you had a fair amount of stuff in the other’s respective house. You had started wearing his sweaters when he was gone, not just on missions but during the full moon too, months ago, you could snuggle up in one and pretend that it was the same as being near him.
Sirius came to check in on you a few times, looking at you with pity and worry. Today was no exception.
“Why are you at my apartment Sirius?” You asked, opening the door with a frown on your face. You were grumpy to have been pulled away from your worrying, even if it was probably for the best that you took a break from pacing.
“Ugh, ‘apartment’,” He mocked in a phony-American accent as he moved past you and inside.
“Sirius, I moved here three years ago! I still say apartment, and aluminum foil and restroom because that’s how I speak and I’m not going to change. Now, do you need something, or did you just come to bug me again?” You snapped, closing the door behind you, and going towards him in the living room.
“Easy love” -he held his hands up in surrender- “I come in peace. I’m just here to check in on you. Moony would want you to take care of yourself while he’s gone. When was the last time you ate a full meal or slept in a bed?” He asked, giving you a once-over.
You shrugged dejectedly and sat down on the couch, staring at the unlit logs in the fireplace. “It doesn’t really matter does it?” You asked in a hopeless tone, your voice raising with your anxiety as you abruptly stood up. “I feel like I can’t focus not knowing he’s ok - I mean what if something happened to him?”
“Woah calm down doll, it’s no use working yourself up over something you can’t do anything about,” Sirius said, guiding you to sit back down on the couch.  
“Ok,” He continued, “I’m not really supposed to share mission details with anyone, but I mean, look at you.”
“Thanks Sirius,” You responded dryly, collapsing into the couch. Then it registered in your brain what he had said.  He had news about Remus? You sat up straighter.
“Alright out with it Pads, tell me what’s going on!” You exclaimed, turning your body fully towards him on the sofa.
“Apparently the mission is going well and they’re almost ready to come home. The last time we got an update, they had just found Dolohov and were preparing to strike.”
“When did you last get an update?” You asked anxiously.
“About 4 hours ago.”
“Are you serious?” You prodded, looking for more information about Remus.
“Well yes love, of course I’m Sirius, but I am a little offended that you don’t remember, especially after all these years,” He responded chuckling at his stupid pun.
You rolled your eyes. “So, when do you think that he’s coming back?” You asked, a new light shining in your eyes.
“I really shouldn’t be telling you this,” He said with a mock look of hurt on his face and a slight laugh. “I mean you didn’t even remember my name after all this time.”
You weren’t in the mood for jokes. “Sirius, please, this is the love of my life, I don’t know what I would do if something happened to him.”
His face dropped and he sat up straighter, fixing you with a searching look. “You really love him, don’t you?” He asked you, hands clasped together, his arms on his knees as he waited for your response.
“With my everything. He is my everything,” you mumbled, embarrassed, with a flush on your cheeks. You were embarrassed because neither of you had actually said the big word yet and the first person you were admitting it to outside your own stream of consciousness was Sirius Black.
Sirius looked at you with an unrecognizable expression on his face before sighing and saying, “Well doll, I’d say he’s pretty crazy about you too.”
You and Remus were fairly open with your affection and your devotion to each other, but hearing it come from Sirius, who had been basically family to Remus for years, meant a lot to you.
“Tell you what, how about you clean yourself up, and we can go to headquarters to wait for them to come back,” he said, standing up. He checked his watch and added, “Which should be pretty soon.”
You quickly stood and raced to the bathroom. You grimaced at yourself in the mirror before hopping into the shower and scrubbing yourself clean. Afterwards, you left the bathroom feeling refreshed and more at peace than you had in a while.
You quickly crossed the small hallway into your room that was basically yours and Remus’ room with how much he stayed over. After throwing on one of Remus’ sweaters and a pair of jeans, you put your hair up and walked out of the bedroom to find Sirius waiting by the door patiently. You slipped your wand into your back pocket and heaved a sigh.
“Let’s go,” you said.  
The two of you left your apartment and quickly walked into the alley behind your building. Sirius grabbed hold of your hand and apparated the both of you to the front door of Grimmauld Place. Once you landed, you let out a deep exhale and tried not to sway on the steps. Sirius looked at you and let go of your hand in favor of grabbing your arm instead to try and steady you.
“Thanks,” you replied, eyes clenched shut and body doubled over, desperately trying not to vomit all over the sidewalk. You hated apparating.
           Sirius ushered you inside gently and you immediately caught sight of Molly Weasley. She rushed over to you, looking at you up and down worriedly.
“Y/n look at you!” She gasped. “When was the last time you ate a proper meal? We’ve just finished up supper here but let me fix you a plate?” she said quickly, leading you to the table to sit down.
“Thank you, Molly. That would be wonderful,” you said gratefully.
You looked around at the table as Molly wandered off to the kitchen to get your food. Arthur was reading the newspaper, Fred and George were entertaining Ginny with an Extendable Ear, and Harry and Hermione were playing some muggle card game which Ron was watching with interest. Sirius sat down next to you as Molly set down two steaming plates with an aroma that made your mouth water. You both started eating and afterwards you felt much better.
“Thank you for the delicious food Molly,” you said as you pull out your wand to do the dishes.
“Oh, it’s not a problem dear,” she responded with a smile. “It looked like you could use it.”
You sat back down once the dishes were done, and Sirius began chatting with Arthur. You tried your best to pay attention to what the conversation was about, but your mind kept slipping back to the fact that Remus was almost home. Your knee bounced under the table and your eyes kept flicking to the door at any noise, hoping to see him walking through.
“Y/n…Y/n?” Arthur asked, and your eyes quickly moved to focus back on the conversation you were still kind of not really paying attention to.
“Oh, I’m so sorry Arthur, what were you saying?” you asked trying to reengage with him and Sirius.
Sirius just laughed and said, “Arthur, don’t bother asking her now, she’s too anxious for Moony’s return.”
You blushed. “I apologize Arthur. I think I’m just a touch distracted right now.”
Arthur just smiled knowingly and turned back to his conversation with Sirius, leaving you to your own thoughts and leg bouncing.
You were planning on telling Remus that you loved him. Him being gone made you think about how important he was to you and you wanted to tell him as soon as possible. Your thoughts clouded with worry, though. What if he doesn’t say it back? What if he doesn’t feel the same way that you do and it’s a huge mistake?
Maybe you should just wait and continue living the same way as before. That was working, it was working well, so why would you try to change that? you asked yourself, drowning in your own thoughts.
Sirius pulled you out of your reverie. “Calm down Y/n. You look like you’re going to combust or something,” he said with a concerned look on his face.
 You just shook your head and offered a small, grim smile. “Sirius what if he doesn’t feel the same way?” you whispered.
He looked at you and scoffed. “Y/n if you can’t see the way Moony looks at you then you must be blind. I have never seen him look at anyone the way that he looks at you,” he responded.
Well, that made you feel better, but before you could say anything, there was a commotion at the door.
You rushed to the sound and saw what you had been waiting to see for the past three weeks: Remus. Although, this wasn’t exactly how you pictured his homecoming.
He was standing in the doorway, supported by someone on either side of him, his body limp and weak. His hair and clothes were a mess and he looked like he was in desperate need of a hot bath, but still, he was there. He was alive.
Your eyes locked and he gave you a faint, weak smile. Without wasting another second, you rushed over to him, but when you reached out to touch his arm you gasped.
Remus’ arm was almost spliced clean off.
You looked on in horror at his mangled arm as he was rushed to one of the sofas by some of the others. Snapping out of your reverie, you immediately pulled out your wand and made your way to his side as others surrounded the sofa. You started muttering a healing spell and gave a silent sigh of relief as you saw his flesh starting to knit back together and mend. Molly Weasley handed you a bottle of dittany and after Remus’ arm was no longer in danger of falling off, you quickly unstopped the bottle of dittany and dripped it onto his arm, watching as the last traces of the, once horrific, wound disappeared. You looked up from his arm to him staring intently at you, with a soft smile on his face.
You quickly closed the bottle and performed a quick cleaning spell to remove the bloodstains from Remus’ clothes and the sofa.
He looked at you, that soft smile still on his face, and you reached out to gently brush away the hair that had fallen into his face.
“I missed you, y/n,” Remus said, softly.
“I missed you too, so much,” you responded, taking the hand on his non-injured arm into your own, squeezing softly. “How are you feeling Rem, do you want anything for the pain?” You asked, not confident that your healing was sufficient for him to be completely painless even after the reparation.
“No, it feels good as new y/n. Perks of dating a healer, I guess,” he said with a grin.
You rolled your eyes and took a moment to look at him. He looked tired, but he was looking at you with an expression that you couldn’t find words for.
Breaking eye contact, you cleared your throat slightly. “Let’s get you in bed, want to sleep at my place?” you asked, slightly aware of the others in the room.
“Yes, I cannot wait to sleep with you for the next week,” he responded with a smirk.
“Me neither,” you responded, laughing, some of the tension in your body dissipating at his ability to joke around. You stood and helped him up slowly, still worried about his arm, even though he assured you it’s perfectly fine. You both got ready to apparate while Sirius leaned on the wall, watching the two of you together with a slight smirk on his face.
“Glad you’re back safe and sound Moony,” he said. Remus gave him a smile and a nod as you both bade your goodbyes to the rest of the house and quickly apparated to the alley by your apartment.
You made your way into the apartment and dropped your stuff at the door, letting out a tired sigh. Once fully inside, you went to start a hot bath, but Remus stopped you before you could make it to the bathroom and engulfed you into a tight hug. Instinctually, your arms wrapped around his taller frame, holding him to you as you both breathed in each other’s presence. He stepped back and removed himself from your embrace to give you a once-over.
“Y/n are you ok? You look exhausted,” he said, concern lacing his voice.
You looked at him for a minute, just taking in the man before you, the man that you loved with every fiber of your being, and suddenly you couldn’t help yourself.
“I love you!” you blurted out. A hot blush rushed to your cheeks when you realized what you had just said, but you didn’t regret. Not one bit.
He looked at you, eyes widening, then a soft, dopey smile spread across his face.  
“I love you too.”
Your eyes widened at his response, and then you reached on your tiptoes to grab his face and guide it to yours. You kissed, soft, sweet and full of promise.
  Tags- @probably-peeves @snapefiction @newa0810
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finoalcielo · 3 years ago
Text
KAI-CHAN RADIO ⑤
☆ JUL 21, 2021☆
KAI: They competed for the fun~! YOU: Leisure activities, huh? Summer is full of it. And so, KAI: Kai-chan Radio! YOU: will also include Haduki You! See in you a moment♪
☆ KAI-CHAN RADIO IS A CASUAL RADIO ☆
KAI: Let's talk tonight♪ About our summer vacation activities! YOU: I started off extremely excited for it, but, I don't think I'll be able to go to the August's activities. Like the Lantern Festival dance, mountains, swimming pool, or even a little trip to the sea. Is that all?
KAI: Ah? Really? YOU: I'll be at home. Helping my parents. KAI: Oh right. The temple. YOU: Yup. Obon is the busiest time of the year. So, I have to travel with my family. KAI: Ooh. YOU: I've never really had much complaints about it. KAI: Ah, I see. YOU: Yeah, since I understood it ever since I was a child.
YOU: It felt a bit nice to see my parents relying on me for some things. I went exploring deeper into the mountains with Tooru (2nd oldest brother) once. And, when we returned later than usual, Sou (oldest brother) scolded us. We mess around a lot every day. KAI: Oh, Haduki brothers. You guys haven't changed at all (www)
YOU: I only remembered when I started talking. Still, I travelled about 2, 3 times. Near Takachiho and Hokkaido. And my memories from that time is a bit weird. Like, I remember the soft serve ice cream being delicious or the sea urchins being terrible (I like it now though) (www) KAI: Memories from long ago are really like that. Food being more important than famous places!
KAI: I also remember the souvenirs I bought on the way rather than the destination. It was a metal keychain with a dragon entwined around a sword. YOU: I knew you'd speak about it (www). Wasn't it the one where it had a lot of crystals or stone stuck to it? (wwww) KAI: I still have it (ww)
YOU: You still have it?! Wow (www) KAI: I use it for my car key. YOU: Extremely distracting... (www) KAI: Ah, anyways, about my leisure activities! I went to a lot of places, but have I told you about the year when my father rented a minibus to go on a family vacation? YOU: Minibus?! KAI: We are a big family (6 siblings). YOU: Ah.
KAI: My father did his best to get a license to drive our big family. YOU: Fuduki papa is amazing. KAI: I got one too. Let's all go~? YOU: The Fuduki family is amazing. KAI: The destination was for Tokyo's Disneyland! It was for a day, but if we include the sightseeing at the town on the way back, then it was 5 days in total? It was awesome. YOU: Sounds fun!
KAI: Maybe I remember this because it was during the time I enjoyed travelling? But anyways, in about two years, the Fuduki family once again travelled in the minibus! At that time, we travelled to Shikoku. YOU: Oh~ It takes a while to reach there, right? KAI: It took us a week to reach. YOU: Lots of driving (www).
KAI: No, at that time, the truck driver's cousin or I sometimes took over driving. On those days, my father would drink beer with his morning, evening and night meals. YOU: Fuduki papa (www) I get your feelings (www) KAI: It's a memory of my summer vacation activity, which was more fun than the destination itself ♪
KAI: And so, that was the Kai-chan Radio "Summer Vacation Activities" Edition! YOU: And then is... ah, right. Want to take some messages from people? I know it's late in the night, but if anyone is awake and has some messages for us, we'll accept them! KAI: Questions, messages, anything is fine~!
It's so hot that I feel like melting... Please give me an idea to cool down! = = YOU: I know! Turn on the cooler. KAI: A pragmatic answer (www) YOU: It's not good to put up with the heat ~ KAI: That's true. YOU: Watch out for heat stroke!
Thank you for sharing your stories. If you could travel now, where would you go...? = = YOU: It's really hot, so I want to take a dive in the sea. KAI: I'll be next to him! YOU & KAI: We want to go to the sea~~~!!! HARU: Didn't you go there the other day? (laughs)
Kai-san, You-san, thank you...! The final exam is about to start, so please give me some encouragement... = = YOU: Studying this late? Woah! We'll be cheering for you to do well! KAI: I'll support you with (my heart's) pompoms~ Hooray~ Hooray~ Study well!! YOU: A fun summer is waiting for you after the test!
Kai-kun! I have a glittering bow keychain, so let's compete against each other!!? (laughs) = = KAI: A fellow friend!!! Then, I'll be the second player!! Bring it on!! YOU: Exactly how will you fight (www)
Hello! I'd like to hear about any recent small incidents that occurred around Procella members! = = YOU: Yoru's glasses got deformed by the heat (www) KAI: He accidentally left it on the bonnet of our travel bus, it got deformed slightly after about 2 hours. (www)
24 hours a day isn't enough. What do you think? = = KAI: I guess it's slightly not enough? If you sleep while thinking, "Stay tuned for Kai tomorrow!", then you'll be excited. YOU: Don't get excited before going to bed (ww)
You-kun! Please do something with Aoi-kun!!!!!!! (I'm greedy) = = YOU: I like your greediness~ Yosh, let's do it now. Aoi-chan. AOI: Eeh?! YOU: I caught the retreating Aoi-chan. AOI: I-I got caught! KAI: Now, how do you want to do this?! YOU: What should we do? Aoi-chan. AOI: EHHHH?!
→ AOI: L-L-Let's peel it off! T/N: Aoi was trying to say "Look that way" (あっち向いてホイで lit. atchi muite hoi de) but ended up saying "Let's peel it off" (あっち剥いてホイで lit. atchi muite hoi de). Both have the same pronunciation, just different meanings.
→ AOI: What a terrible typo!!!
→ AOI: I meant 'Look that way'!! YOU & KAI: (wwwww) AOI: I was really flustered and when I thought I deleted it, I actually sent it instead. I meant 'Look that way'!!!~~~~~ You!!! Kai-san, geez!!! YOU & KAI: (wwww)
#Aoi won by default.
This is for a questionnaire, but what was doing your homework like? Did you fill in what you knew on the day you got it and left the rest blank and asked a friend for help, or leave some empty in the first week and finish the rest later? = = KAI: I did half in the first week, and the remaining in the last week.
→ YOU: I want to say that I finished it early in August... but I ended up frantically doing it towards the end (www) KAI: I can imagine that ~~ While Yoru did his patiently, right? YOU: Yup. Isn't that right? YORU: Yes. Ah, I also did the Radio calisthenics properly! Radio Calisthenics = a short exercise routine broadcast daily on Japan's national radio, streamed on YouTube, followed in parks and schools every day – sometimes several times a day – by all generations of Japanese people
It's been hot lately, but please tell us if you have a story that chilled you to your bones. = = KAI: Shun turned bright red and got a fever. YOU: He got one after frantically trying to decide the thumbnail for his Hajime-san video collection. KAI: He looked really happy when I putting the cooling patch on. YOU: His fever also came down almost immediately. YOU & KAI: We ate curry together.
Hi!! Starting from today, we'll be having the 4 day holiday, so will you all be working??? Are there any jobs you have with other members of the agency??? = = KAI: Hi~! Tomorrow will be a visual shooting with the theme of intelligence♪ YOU: It's not a job, but the day after tomorrow, I'll talk with Takaaki-san and Roa-san about an independent dance lesson along with a few more people. The 4 day holiday they're talking about is Marine Day, which lasts from Jul 22 - Jul 25 in Japan.
Is it okay to eat ice-cream at this time?! = = KAI: We've already eaten it (sparkles) YOU: Recently, my favorite one is... the Shi●kuma ice cream KAI: The melon flavour! This year, for some reason, the melon flavor is in demand. YOU: You can buy it at a convenience store ~ He's referring to the Shirokuma Ice Cream which is a shaved ice dessert topped with ice cream and condensed milk.
Please tell us what you had for dinner today! = = KAI: Pork shogayaki​. I really like it. Especially when its with White Rice. YOU: I get you.
Have you been interacted with the Gravi members lately? Please tell us if there's anything interesting👓✨ = = KAI: Oh, that emoji means Haru! Haru~ HARU: I was waiting so long to be called. YOU: You appeared so quickly (www) HARU: Something interesting... Ah, let's play Look that way! YOU: Is it popular in Gravi? (ww)
#Haru won and was satisfied when he left.
I'm busy and tired lately, so please leave a good luck charm please!! I love you!!! = = KAI: I love you too!! YOU: Me too! The is the best good luck charm you can believe in! We love you, support you, so please do your best!! KAI: I wish you a happy summer!
It's summer!!!!!! Did you have anything of a summer vibe that you ate?? = = KAI: Corn!!!!! Grilled Corn!!! YOU: Recently, Procella has this trend of using the Bato Mayo Soy Sauce with various things.
Is Maze slowly molting??! = = YOU: ......Maze? Are you molting? I've never cleaned them up. MAGELLAN: Que! (I forgot) KAI: He's always like fluffy. Maybe it's because he's an Demon World Penguin? Next time, let us touch you~
Speaking of summer vacation, I remember watching movies at movie theaters or on TV when I was in elementary school! Do you have a favorite movie when you were little? = = KAI: Back to the Fu●re that was rebroadcasted on TV! I feel like that's a classic one. YOU: There's also Toto●. KAI: Ah, there's that too! The child in the middle has my colors! Kai is referring to Back to the Future and I believe You is referring to My Neighbor Totoro.
We can't drink outside, but have you been drinking at home?? = = YOU: The senior group sometimes drink on the balcony~ KAI: Only sometimes~ I don't drink a lot (laughs). And what about the middle group? YOU: We don't really drink much? Instead, we eat food.
KAI: That was all for the replies~! YOU: Thank you for your messages despite it being midnight! KAI: I was going to introduce the October's CD but it's so late now, so I'll do it tomorrow! YOU: If you're going to do it tomorrow, then just call in the people themselves. KAI: Ah, true. Anyways, this is all for today's corner!
KAI: It was Kai-chan Radio, Summer Vacation Activity Edition~! YOU: Thank you for listening to us! Ah, Kai, let's say that. KAI: That? YOU (whispers unintelligently to Kai) KAI: Uhhh.. KAI & YOU: Dream well? KAI: .... YOU: .... KAI: I'm kind of embarassed. YOU: Why? (www)
#Kai-chan Radio #Thank you
✧If you like my work, then please consider supporting me here. Thank you~!
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svnflowervol666 · 5 years ago
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Mother’s Day (Harry Styles x fem!Reader)
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Word Count: 1.9k
Author’s Note: It’s Mother’s Day in the UK! Hope everyone is having a good one. I got a request about how Harry and bub would treat Y/N on their special day, so here it is! Hope you enjoy. Take care and TPWK.
//
She was dreaming so peacefully. Dreaming of the quaint hut in Tahiti that she’d spent two weeks in during her honeymoon. She could feel the hot, Polynesian sun beating down on her bare back and the cool, refreshing taste of the fresh fruit that was delivered to their suite each morning. Her head was fogged with only images of him. How they’d spent so much time wrapped up in one another during that time that they’d sometimes forget to leave the comfort of their pillowy, plush bed for anything besides another glass of wine or champagne.
She had never been happier during that time in her life. It was just her and her new husband exploring the island and nothing else mattered. There were no goodbyes that needed to be said before leaving for a lengthy tour, no business meetings that ate up hours and hours of their designated alone time, no distractions whatsoever besides how enticing each other’s bodies looked to one another.
Her mind took her to the waterfall that they’d discovered on accident. They had just been wandering around the tropical forest looking at the greenery when they’d stumbled upon the most ethereal cove they had ever seen. No time was wasted, they knew exactly what they needed to do. They stripped stark naked and dove right in, unafraid of whoever might stumble upon their pile of clothes and shoes and suspect them of doing something they shouldn’t. She swears she can feel the water lapping around her as she chased her newlywed husband towards the center of the waterfall. She can feel the way the heavy droplets of water pulsed around her arms as she tested its strength. She can feel the way the water poured down on her face as she–
Wait, no.
What she had thought was a tranquil memory of her honeymoon and the otherworldly waterfall she had swum in was not a dream but more so her two-year-old swatting at her forehead and chin with her tiny, pudgy hands. When she opened her eyes, she was greeted by not one, but two identical pairs of emerald green ones.
“Happy Mother’s Day,” Harry sang as he realized she was coming to.
The toddler banged her hands against Y/N’s face in excitement of hearing her father’s voice, to which Y/N quickly grabbed her palms and held them away from her to keep from being smacked around by her child any longer.
“Thank you, lovie,” she mumbled back sleepily.
She quickly reached up and kissed the child that was sat up beside her and let her lips linger in the air just a bit longer so Harry could plant one on her as well before she fell back onto the feathery down of her pillow. Harry had perched himself up on his elbows as he laid on his stomach near Y/N’s chest. He watched as his girls snuggled tightly into each other, Y/N’s arm wrapping protectively around his little bub’s back and resting against her diaper-clad bum. They had really been pushing for potty-training as of late, but it always resulted in too many accidents that they weren’t always so quick to catch.
“Ye’ wanna give mummy her present?” Harry asked the curly-headed baby that was currently rubbing the pendent attached to Y/N’s chest between her chubby fingers.
“Mummy present!” she squealed, quickly jerking her head up from where it was resting in the crook of Y/N’s shoulder.
She hit Y/N’s nose on the way up, but Y/N was used to being borderline bullied by her growing child and chose not to make a scene about it. Harry handed their daughter the gift bag that had been resting on Harry’s nightstand, to which she teetered across the mattress to return back to her mother.
“Here go, mummy!”
Her ability to speak full sentences was far from perfect, but enough to make Harry and Y/N lose their minds at how cute it was each and every time she tried to talk like a grown-up.
“Aww, you got me a gift, bubby?” she asked, eyeing Harry as he smirked behind the toddler’s unkempt mess of hair.
“Well, let’s see it then.”
She removed the stuffing paper from the bag carefully, placing it off to her side so that the curious little girl sitting upright in her fuzzy footie pajamas wouldn’t create a mess later on. When she pulled each item out of the paper bag, she’d played up the dramatics, gasping loudly and acting overly-animated to make the toddler feel appreciated.
“Is this the same color as daddy’s?!” she exclaimed as she pulled out the slim tube of Gucci Beauty lipstick that she remembered telling Harry she wanted after seeing him in it on the cover of Beauty Papers, to which hers and Harry’s daughter blushed and nodded and took all of the credit for despite being a baby with no source of income or knowledge about the consumer market whatsoever.
There was the lipstick, the sweater she’d seen at the shops one day that she gawked at for a bit too long, the serum she’d run out of last week, a replica of the lilac-colored bathrobe of Harry’s that she always stole from him when he wasn’t using. Her gift bag was filled to the brim with tons of little things that were thoughtful and more than enough for Y/N. Harry knew that she’d insist it was too much and that they already were fortunate enough to have everything they’d ever want, but he didn’t want to be the asshole that didn’t get his wife anything for Mother’s Day.
“Thank you soooooo much, love bug,” she hugged her daughter tight after removing all of her gifts from the large bag that laid in her lap.
“Wha’ would ye’ like to do today, special girl?” Harry asked his wife that was sitting upright in bed surrounded by all of her presents.
“Today’s all about you, so you’re the boss!”
“Mummy boss!” cheered the toddler, clapping her hands in excitement.
“Actually, mummy’s always the boss,” Y/N corrected her husband with a narrowing of her eyes, “But I don’t mind what we do as long as I get to spend it with you two.”
Harry smiled and rolled his eyes before patting his daughter’s rounded belly gently as she toyed with the price tag of the sweater he’d gotten Y/N.
“Figured ye’ would say that. Which is why I, your incredibly thoughtful and tentative husband, came up with an entire itinerary for today. First, we have breakfast. The meal consists of your choice. Then, the park up north with all of the flowers and pop up shops. Then, we have lunch at that place we went to for Mother’s Day last year. Figured we could turn that into a little tradition. And then we’re gonna-”
“Wow,” Y/N interjected, knowing damn well he was just gloating at this point, “Seems like you’ve got the day all planned out now. Don’t you?”
“Sure do,” Harry answered as he slipped his hand underneath the covers to pat her bare thigh.
“Now, are ye’ gonna get up so we can get this show on the road and we can show ye’ how much we love ye’?”
“I thought I was the boss?” she asked.
“What if I want us to stay in bed just a little bit longer?”
“Doubt that’s gonna happen, love. Told this one that you might want pancakes for breakfast and it’s all she’s been talkin’ about since seven this morning,” Harry gestured with a nod of his head to the toddler that was now making peace with herself as she played with the rings on Harry’s hand that wasn’t laying on Y/N’s thigh.
“Cakes, papa?” their daughter’s face perked up at the thought of her favorite food.
“I don’t know, bug. Ask mummy if that’s what she wants.”
“I have cakes, mumma?”
Y/N did not want pancakes for breakfast, she knew that for sure. She’d much rather not start the day off with a stomach ache from pouring too much syrup on her plate, but she also knew she could never say no to such a sweet face staring back at her with such hope in her eyes.
She seemed to contemplate for a moment, placing her pointer finger on her chin and looking up at the ceiling as if she might say no just to add to the anticipation in the room.
“Pancakes sound good to me,” she announced with a smile on her face, knowing it would send the toddler into a frenzy.
Before she was able to grasp on to her tiny body, hers and Harry’s daughter slipped off of the California king-sized bed they were all sitting on and ran presumably to the kitchen downstairs, which gave Harry and Y/N some alone time. Sure, they had approximately four minutes before their bub came crashing back up the stairs and demanded to know why they weren’t cooking her breakfast, but it was better than nothing.
Harry scooted over in the bed to lay his body flush against hers. He held onto her by the waist and rested his head on her chest.
“Thank you for my gifts, Harry. They’re lovely.”
She heard him chuckle against her skin before he craned his neck up to look at her.
“What do ye’ mean? Those are from your daughter. I’ve not given ye’ my present yet.”
“What did you get me?” Y/N asked, furrowing her brow down at him.
“That, my love, is a secret that you’ll have to wait until tonight to find out,” Harry tried his best to sound as seductive as he possibly could, but undoubtedly failed miserably which made her chuckle into his chocolate brown waves before kissing them lightly.
“Alright, Mr. Teen Heartthrob. I’ll take your word for it.”
Harry blushed at her backhanded compliment, burrowing deeper into the swells of her breasts and groaning dramatically.
She tried to tug on the ends of his curls in the way that always drove him mad. Sure, their toddler was a ticking time bomb and only God knew when she’d decide to show up in their room again, but her dreams from earlier about her honeymoon had left her feeling quite needy.
When she finally got his attention by kissing him gently but passionately and wrapped her legs around his waist in an attempt to gain even the slightest bit of friction, Harry pulled away.
“Love,” he began, still panting from the kiss, “I know I said you’re the boss today, but there’s a hyperactive toddler downstairs who’s waiting for pancakes and I have a feeling that if we don’t go down there in the next forty-five seconds then she’s gonna have both of our heads.”
Y/N shoved him off of her with a huff and a laugh, knowing good and well that he was right. When she climbed out of the bed to slide her house shoes on her now cold feet, Harry surprised her with a slap across her bum.
“Oi!” she yelled, “What was that about?”
“Nothin’. Just love ye’ is all.”
“Well that’s a pretty fuckin’ weird way of showing it,” she spoke in between giggles.
“Ehh,” Harry dismissed her with a swat of his hand in the air, “I know ye’ love it.”
Sure, she may have been at her happiest when she was on her honeymoon in Tahiti with Harry without a care in the world, but nothing compared to the kind of happiness that she was experiencing now with her perfect little family.
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docholligay · 4 years ago
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Chinese Food in The American West
One of the things I frequently come across as a student of the American West* is that people get most of their information from movies and TV and then act like they know things. Wyatt Earp was not a Lawful Good champion who always did his level best even when it was hard to know. (You want Seth Bullock or Bass Reeves). Racism was far more complicated than white vs not white (I’ve talked about this EXTENSIVELY in Strange Empire, so I’m not going to bore you here**). 
And they didn’t just eat steak. In fact, they rarely ate steak. 
Steak as cowboy food isn’t INACCURATE, but it is MODERN. From about the early 1900s on, you had less and less drives and more and more ranchers who were staying put, with less and less hands needed, and so food was grabbed less “on the go.” Cows could be slaughtered and used to feed the family, allowing for more opportunities for things like steak, yes, but also things like chili, a play on sauerbraten, southern-style biscuits. The cattle drives were a real blend of culture and race, and a lot of what we have left as “Western food” owes a great deal to that. 
And if we leave the cattle drives and head into the towns of the American West, as we will today, we find things like oysters, pies, and various things like that. Far more well-heeled than the general expectation. 
I mean, here’s the menu from the Occidental Saloon circa the late 1880s:
Soups
Chicken Giblet and Consumme, with Egg
Fish
Columbia River Salmon, au Beurre Noir
Relieves
Filet a Boeuf, a la Financier
Leg of Lamb, Sauce, Oysters
Cold Meats
Loin of Beef, Loin of Ham, Loin of Pork, Westphalia Ham, Corned Beef, Imported Lunches
Boiled Meats
Leg of Mutton, Ribs of Beef, Corned Beef and Cabbage, Russian River Bacon
Entrees
Pinons a Poulett, aux Champignons
Cream Fricasse of Chicken, Asparagus Points
Lapine Domestique, a la Matire d'Hote
Casserole d'Ritz aux Oeufs, a la Chinoise
Ducks of Mutton, Braze, with Chipoluta Ragout
California Fresh Peach, a la Conde
Roasts
Loin of Beef, Loin of Mutton, Leg of Pork
Apple Sauce, Suckling Pig, with Jelly, Chicken Stuffed Veal
Pastry
Peach, Apple, Plum, and Custard Pies
English Plum Pudding, Hard Sauce, Lemon Flavor
This dinner will be served for 50 cents.
-I got this from the book “Saloons of the Old West” by Erdoes
But none of that is precisely why I’m here, I just can’t stop myself from talking about this, why I’m here is that one of the things I say that often surprises people, is that Chinese food was incredibly common for the, well, common man to eat. There’s very much a conception that we as a non-Chinese American  people did not start eating Chinese food until the 40s and 50s, and its truer that it took longer to catch on in the American East than the West simply as a matter of proximity and choice. 
Not MORE choice but LESS. Part of what made the West so unique, historically, is that the lack of choice and the basic scarcity caused people to work with and patronize people that their general prejudices would have kept them from using back east, because they had CHOICES. But out in the west, less so. There were few choices for a quick, cheap meal on the go. That dinner I just posted above is a lavish affair, and a great deal at approximately $20.00 in today’s money. (Which does not allow for the fact that cost of supplies has gone up and this dinner would most likely be offered for no less than 70 or so today.) 
People desperately wanted something that was cheap and quick, and the other options in the American West were few, far between, and not intensely pleasing. No one had really come up with the sandwich shop as of yet, and in any case, fresh meats and cheeses would have been too difficult for the low-cost supplier. 
ENTER THE CHINESE POPULATION.
If you have read my Strange Empire blogs, I hope you know that Chinese people were a huge presence in the American West, mostly working for the railroad and various mines, but also doing things like laundry, work that was extremely hard but took little in the way of English speaking. They existed in Chinatowns, for a combination of cultural and legal factors, but it’s a misconception that non-Chinese*** people never went to Chinatown. 
People are not new, and it was not unusual for non-Chinese people to use the laundries, tailoring, and other services of Chinatowns while suppressing the rights of Chinese people int he same breath. There were always individual Chinese people any given non-Chinese person liked and did business with. 
In time, they discovered the inherent wisdom of the noodle bowl. 
I don’t mean to suggest that all these early restaurants served was noodle bowls, but that was where it all started. Remember, Italian food had little prominence in America at the this time, as Italian immigration didn’t really get into full swing until the 1870s in America. While there are noodle traditions half of everywhere, and there is nothing new under the sun, what we today would consider a stir-fry bowl was wildly new to most of the non-Chinese folks in the West. That it could be offered up so cheaply, was so filling, and so delicious (more on this later) was a wild revelation. Everyone from simple cowboys (which, fun fact! Was a slur back then!) to mayors were swinging by Chinatowns to try the dishes. 
By the 1920s, chop suey, a fully Chinese American invention derived from the words for “various leftovers” was a hugely popular American food among all sorts. 
Doc, you may ask, was it just that these folks coming through to get medicines or laundry were SO adventurous? Not at all! Chinese restaurants back then actually, in a very short amount of time, realized that their non-Chinese townsfolk were an excellent way to make money as well, and began to adapt and change dishes to better fit the Western palate, leading what we call American Chinese Food today, which is a legitimate foodway I will defend to my death. Unfortunately, none of these menus survive today--the only ones we have are from places in San Francisco, places that were much more posh, and not the subject of this essay. 
There is a scene in Tombstone where Wyatt and his brothers are eating Chinese food, and it’s one of the things people often ask me about, assuming it’s anachronistic. Actually, it isn’t at all--the anachronism is that there’s broccoli in those noodle bowls, which had not yet hit our shores by the time of the OK Corral. Chinese food was a huge hit, Chinese restaurants were doing extremely well, and some Chinese restaurants were even beginning to attempt to print menus in English, with sit down areas, instead of serving simple fare from food carts. 
As the food from these “chow chow houses” grew in popularity, as we can infer from the advertisements of their competitors promising free potatoes with every meal, and other such niceties to entice, there was, as ever there must be, blowback. Anti-Chinese sentiment grew to a fever pitch, and with this came overt pressure for ‘Good Americans” to patronize ‘American restaurants’. The social pressure is actually where we get some of that old racist jargon about Chinese people serving dogs and cats, which people often think was spread by competitors to degrade the Chinese restaurants, which isn’t UNTRUE, but was just as often said sheepishly by someone who couldn’t stop themselves from going and grabbing a noodle bowl or even the American dishes they offered, such as roast chicken or pork chop sandwiches. 
(I won’t comment with anything but an eyeroll on the bullshit of people saying they’re ~allergic to MSG~ okay I’ll believe you when you stop eating processed food, meat, aged cheese) 
It actually kept this type of reputation as being slightly scandalous well into the early 1900s, as being something you ate after the bar, something to be had in the shadows, but it was all for naught, because Chinese food became an important part of American identity. But for all that, no one ever pictures the Lone Ranger chowing down (the American phrase ‘chow’ for food actually comes from these ‘chow chow houses’) on some chop suey, but there’s every reason to believe he would have. American Chinese food is just as American as the Germanically-influenced hamburger. 
(There’s a whole subtopic to go down about Jewish and Chinese communities and Kosher Chinese Food, two marginalized and othered communities coming together, but that’s a WHOLE other topic) 
(Also someone please buy me Chinese food. This shit always makes me so hungry.) 
*The American West is a specific time period, as far as the study of history goes. It covers the period between the end of the Civil War and the New Century, generally, and is, obviously, concerned with the western half of the country. It doesn’t cover stuff like Lewis and Clark (that’s Expansion) or even the Civil War itself, though you cannot possibly hope to study the American West in any level of seriousness without understanding the Civil War. Anyway! I know a lot about America between 1865 and 1900, and am just knowledgeable enough to be dangerous on everything else. Most History nerds are highly specified like this. We’re not as much help to your trivia team as you think.****
**I actually have had little chance to talk about ~European-style xenophobia~ as it played out in the west, because Strange Empire takes a more modern pass at it. But there was a hierarchy of “whiteness” as well, as still largely exists in Europe, land of intentionally clean ethnostates. 
***I use the term “non-Chinese” instead of white because believe it or not, non-white people were not magically free of racism against Chinese people. It was horrific and BASICALLY every non-Chinese person was guilty of it to some level, a wild-ass level of hatred that led to Chinese folks not being able to PURCHASE PROPERTY BY LAW in ENTIRE STATES. Being Chinese or Native in this place and time was your Worst Bet. 
****I actually was on a competitive trivia team, you DO want me.
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annab-recs · 4 years ago
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Can’t Be Trusted - JJ Maybank
Kooks have never really trusted pogues, but you have gained the trust of some as you babysit and dogsit for them. After inviting JJ over as you are dogsitting, a necklace goes missing and who else would have taken it other than the infamous kleptomaniac, right?
Warnings: some curse words
Word Count: 2.9k+
--------------------------------------------------
"I think someone's mom is home!" You shout from the back door. After playing little game of hide and seek, Austin and Ava wanted to play in their treehouse, so you went inside and chilled out until their two-year-old sister, Aubrey, woke up.
"Okay! We will be out in a minute!" Ava shouted to you as she poked her head out the treehouse window. You rolled your eyes playfully before returning to Aubrey who was still a little groggy from her nap. All she wanted to do was lay in your arms and watch Trolls.
"How were they today, y/n?" Sadie asked you when she walked into her home.
"Absolute angels as always. This one is a little sleepy from her nap, but she just needs cuddles and she'll be fine. The other two are in the treehouse," you tell her as you walk over to where she was standing by the kitchen counter. Aubrey makes grabby hands at her mother and you lean forward to hand her off.
"Hey, I meant to ask you this when you were here last week but how would you feel about dog sitting?" You shot her a weird look as she did not have any dogs, but nodded, nonetheless.
"My sister, Savannah, has three dogs and she and her husband are going on vacation for a week. She just needs someone to let the dogs out and feed them and stuff. I told her about you because you are so great with the kids and I knew that if I can trust you with them, she can trust you with her dogs," Sadie finished.
It was nice to hear a kook say something so kind about a pogue. The adults don't seem to have as big of a problem with pogues as the teenagers do. You were happy to hear that she trusted you so much with her children because you love her kids so much and would do anything for them.
"You can tell her I'm interested," you tell Sadie and she nods.
"Okay, I'll send her your number. Thanks again y/n," she spoke as she handed you some money for your service and you walked out after hugging each of the kids goodbye. 
...
"Okay, so that's all that you really need to know. You can stay here if you want so that you don't have to travel back and forth across the island. Let me show you the guest room." You follow Savannah through her house and to the guest room.
"You can invite your friends like Kiara or Sarah to stay with you, so you aren't too lonely. You can literally do whatever as long as you clean up after yourself, but I know I don't have to worry about anything with you. Sadie talks very highly of you." You blush at the comment and send her a smile. "Do you have any questions?"
"No ma'am. I think I got it all." She smiles at you as Bo, her golden retriever, licks up your leg. The two of you chuckle as you head back to the kitchen.
"Okay well here's the key and the code for the alarm system is 1742. I'll turn it on when we leave and when you get here, just turn it off and then turn it back on at night. Once again, thank you so much for doing this. I could not find anyone and the girl who normally keeps the dogs is going to be gone as well."
"No problem, Mrs. Savannah. I'm extremely excited to get to be with these pups all week next week," you say as you ruffle your hand through Bo’s fur. Her other two dogs, Bleu and Bailey, have been chilling but Bo has been following you everywhere. You said your goodbyes before heading over to The Wreck where your friends were.
"Hello everyone," you announce your presence as your friends greet you. You take the only empty seat at the table that sits between JJ and Pope and sneakily snag a fry from JJ's plate.
"Hey!" He shouts and attempts to grab the fry back, but it is already in your mouth. A giggle escapes your lips as he pouts about his stolen food.
"You owed me that one after all the food I share with you. At least, I have Pope. You'll share your fries with me, won't you buddy?" Pope grins at you before nodding.
"Of course." He slides his basket of fries closer to you and you gladly take one before Kie offers to get you some. You decline, saying you just wanted to tease JJ to which he frowns before ruffling with your hair playfully. After you fix your hair, the pogues ask you about your day.
"I was actually at Savannah's house, Sarah." She shot you a confused look before telling you to continue. Savannah and Sadie are cousins with Ward, so they are related to the Cameron’s. That's how Sarah knows her.
"I thought you babysit for Sadie," she wonders, and you nod.
"I do but Sadie recommended me to Savannah as a dog sitter, so I'm going to be staying there next week while they're on vacation."
"You're basically a kook now, y/n," JJ jokes as you roll your eyes at him.
"No, but I'll be living in the house of one for a week. I'm a full-on pogue right here and you know it." You say as you point to your heart. You had too many responsibilities to look after and pay for to be a kook. You have to help out your dad with money because your mom left you two when you were seven. Things would be a million times better if you were actually a kook but living like one for a little bit would be nice.
...
It was not long before you were living that dream. Savannah left a few days ago and you have been waking up to Bo’s adorable face next to you every morning. As you watched the dogs run around in the backyard, you decided to invite a friend over. You were getting kinda lonely and Savannah said you could invite someone like Kie or Sarah, so you shot Kie a text first.
Y/n: what are you doing tonight? I'm kinda lonely and wanna sleepover with my girl
Kie: my dad has me working all night and then Sarah and I are going to the mainland early in the morning
Y/n: okay I'll ask one of the guys, thanks though
You can't ask John B because you don't want Sarah to get the wrong impression and Pope has work early in the morning with his dad, so your only option is JJ. There is nothing wrong with JJ. You love him to death, but he tends to slip things away without anyone noticing. You want to make a good first impression so that Savannah will want to use you again in the future. You let out a sigh before calling JJ.
"Hello?" His voice sounded through your ears.
"Hey, are you gonna be busy tonight?"
"No, what's up?" He asks as he makes sure to pop the 'p' at the end of his sentence.
"Well, I'm kinda lonely and Savannah said I could invite a friend to stay with me, so I was wondering if you wanted to." You were kind of nervous he would say no but he didn't.
"Yeah sure. I'll be over at like seven and I can bring a pizza."
"Ooo, sounds good. I'll see you then," you said as you salivated at the sound of pizza. You two ended the phone call and went on about your days until he came over. You showed him around the house and introduced him to Bo, Bleu, and Bailey. You made sure to keep a close eye on him the whole night to make sure he didn't snag anything without you knowing.
"Okay I'm stuffed," you announce as you set you unfinished pizza slice down.
"Well, I'm not so..." he trailed off as he grabbed your slice and finished it. You playfully rolled your eyes as you hopped off the barstool and threw the pizza box in the trash. As he finishes, you let the dogs out one last time for the night before bringing them back in, locking the door, and turning on the alarm.
...
After a while, the two of you both get showered and ready for bed. JJ takes one side and you take the other before turning to face him.
"Thanks for staying with me tonight," you whisper, careful not to wake the sleeping Bo that laid between the two of you.
"No problem, y/n. You know I'd do anything for you." His words bring a smile to your face that he can barely see in the low light. You mutter another 'thank you' and then a 'goodnight' as you press your lips to his cheek before turning around and falling asleep.
...
Though the two of you fell asleep separately with Bo between you, you woke up snuggled into JJ's side, your head resting on his bare chest. Bo laid on the other side of him by his leg. You smiled down at the dog as you slid out of JJ's arms. After admiring his sleeping form, you turned off the house alarm and let the dogs out to do their business.
While they were out, you found some eggs and decided to scramble them for breakfast and serve them with some toast. A shirtless sleepy JJ appeared in the doorway as you cooked the eggs. He rubbed his tired eyes before leaning against the counter next to you.
"Whatcha cooking?" He asks as he looks out the window to watch the dogs run around.
"Some eggs. If you want to help, there's bread over there that you can pop in the toaster," you tell him, pointing in the direction of the bread. He nods and does as you asked of him. He looks around in several cabinets before finding the plates and he pulls out two for y'all. He places them down next to you as you finish the eggs and put them on the plates. As soon as you finish with that, the toast pops up.
"Do you want grape or apple jelly?" He asks as he holds the two options up for you to see.
"Grape please." He takes care of the toast as you get two forks and set the plates down on the counter where you two ate last night. You grab two cups and fill them both with some orange juice to complete your meals.
"We do pretty well together," he boasts looking down at the finished product of your work. You laugh and agree before sitting down next to him. As you eat your breakfast, you look around and really take in the beautiful home you have been staying in.
"This place is really pretty," you say softly, still looking around at everything.
"One day, I'm gonna get you a place like this," JJ says as you giggle. He's always joked that you two were going to end up together and that y’all would go full kook. You had always liked JJ but never tried anything. He never initiated anything either, so you just stayed friends. You nodded at him in agreement.
"One day, we will have a huge house and we'll have dogs too," you add on to the dream. JJ wanted to add kids to the dream too but was not sure how you would feel about it, so he kept quiet.
"Yep," he spoke before filling his mouth with eggs again.
...
"Hey y/n! Sorry to bother you but I was wondering if you had anyone over," Savannah asked you through the phone. You felt tense and unsure about what she was getting at.
"Kiara and Sarah stayed with me one night, but that was it. Do you mind me asking why?" You weren't completely lying. After JJ stayed with you, Kie and Sarah spent the night two nights later.
"Well, I can't find one of my necklaces that I thought I had left in the living room on accident before leaving. It was worth a lot of money and my husband gave it to me. I was going to ask if you had seen it and if you had anyone over, would you please ask them if they had seen it too?" JJ's name ran through your mind constantly as she spoke. That little kleptomaniac probably stole it.
"No ma'am. I didn't see it, but I'll ask the girls and get back to you. I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Just please let me know as soon as possible," she said before hanging up.
"Fuck," you mutter as your mind races. She probably thinks you stole it and she'll probably tell her sister and you won't be able to babysit anymore which is your most steady and good-paying job. You don't even bother asking the girls. Your first priority is JJ.
...
When you walk up to the chateau, you notice JJ laying on the hammock in the back.
"Hey y/n! What's up?" He asked happily but his face changed when he caught sight of yours. "What happened?"
"I'm going to ask you something and I want you to be completely honest with me." He nods, waiting for you to fill him in on what is bothering you.
"Did you steal anything from Savannah's house?"
"What the hell, y/n?" He asks, anger lacing his voice.
"That wasn't a no."
"No, y/n! I didn't steal anything. Why would you ask me that?" He seethes. He's stood up from the hammock now, too angry to sit.
"Because she can't find an expensive ass necklace and you normally like to steal things. Sorry for automatically thinking it was you," you speak sarcastically.
"I didn't steal it, y/n. I never saw a necklace the whole time I was there. You were with me the whole time. The only time we weren't together was when I was in the shower and when you were in the shower, I was in bed. I promise I didn't leave or go anywhere while you were gone." He stops for a minute as he thinks.
"Is that why you watched my every fucking move while I was there? Because you thought I would steal something?" You stayed quiet which gave him the answer he was looking for. He let out a scoff before continuing to speak.
"You know what? Fuck what I said. That whole dream of you and I getting together one day and living like that. I can't do that with someone who doesn't trust me." His words hurt but you shrugged it off as if it did not matter to you.
"That's fine with me. It was a dumb dream anyway. Like we could achieve that." You scoff before turning around and walking home. Tears streamed down your cheeks. You probably just lost your favorite job and your best friend. Could life get any worse? Your phone buzzes in your hand. Reluctantly you look down at it, hoping it was Kie or Pope or Sarah. Someone who could make you feel better, but it wasn't. It was Savannah.
Savannah: hey just wanted to let you know I found the necklace
"Shit," you muttered under your breath as guilt washes over you and you bolt back to the chateau. You had royally screwed up everything and have to fix it. When you walked to the back where JJ was, you saw him sitting in the hammock with his hands behind his head. He glances over at your approaching figure before returning his gaze to the tree above him.
"You here to accuse me of some more shit I didn't do?" He asks bitterly. You deserve it. You were a shit friend.
"Um, no," you whisper as you shake your head and more tears prick your eyes from all the guilt and shame you felt, "I'm so sorry JJ. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and I should've believed you. I know you wouldn't lie to me. I was just scared that I would lose my job with Sadie. You know how much I love those kids. I thought I'd never get to be with them again. I know that doesn't justify me accusing you of stealing but I love you and hope you can forgive me."
You wipe away the last of your tears before JJ stands up to pull you into a hug. You wrap your arms tightly around him, glad he seemed to forgive you for your crappy actions.
"I couldn't have stayed mad at you if I tried. I just wish you would trust me more," he whispered in your ear before pulling away from you.
"That's the thing JJ. I trust you so much, with my life and everything, but the things just added up and you'd be lying if you said stealing isn't something you would totally do." The two of you laugh together before JJ pulls you down onto the hammock with him and you lay together, looking up at the sky through the tree branches. A comfortable silence fell over the two of you before JJ decided to speak.
"You stole first," he said softly. You turned to look up at him with a questioning look upon your face.
"What? No, I didn't. What do you mean?"
"You stole my heart," he smiled goofily at you before you roll your eyes and cuddle into him.
"Oh, shut up." You feel his laugh vibrate through his chest.
"I love you, y/n," he whispered as his fingers ran through your hair.
"Love you too JJ," you hummed.
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thedefinitionofendgame · 4 years ago
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two under two
Amelia X Link multi-chapter | Rated T | Canon-divergent after 7x11
A/N: Just some Amelink (and others) fluff for y’all! After all the potential wedding talk in 17x11, I decided I just had to work on my Amelink short multi-chap fic. I’m just so glad Amelia’s found someone who is absolutely crazy about her. I am so happy for her and the little family she’s made. *SPOILERS FOR SEASON 17*
You can read this work on ao3 and fanfiction.net as well
Written & cover by @thedefinitionofendgame (aka me)
chapter 1 - big news calls for bigger reactions
It was now or never, and even though never sounded fine to Amelia, she knew now was the best time to say whatever she wanted to say. Clearing her throat, she felt Link’s fingers intertwine with hers under the table, which kept her calm. There’s no time like the present, Amelia thought to herself. Rip off the bandaid and get on with it! So by opening her mouth, she did just that. “We, Link and I, have something to tell you guys,” Amelia said, shifting her gaze to everyone seated around the outdoor dining room table. They were outside because the weather was finally nice enough to enjoy a meal in the outdoors, without fear of being rained on.
Everyone stopped chattering and turned to look at Amelia. There was a big crowd tonight in the backyard, as get-togethers were allowed now that all the adults had their COVID vaccines. Besides Meredith and the kids, Winston, Jo, Teddy, Owen, Leo and Allison had come over as well. Oh and of course, Jo’s adopted daughter, Luna Ashton who had been renamed Luna Ashton Brooke Wilson, to honour her birth name and her forever mom. It was definitely a full house, which made for the perfect time to announce Amelia and Link’s news; the news that they had been dreading to announce for the past couple months. Not dreading the actuality of the news so much as the reactions it would bring. Just like the time before, Amelia braced herself for the responses of her friends and sisters that telling this news would bring.
Amelia paused a heartbeat too long. While Zola, Bailey and Ellis were quiet at their kids table next to the main one, Meredith was the impatient one. “Well, out with it!” She said, raising an eyebrow at Amelia. Despite Meredith’s terrible health scares earlier in the year, the blonde had bounced right back and was as high spirited as ever. She still had to take it easy, especially when it came to heavy-breathing exercises, but for the most part Meredith Grey was back to normal.
Amelia looked at Link, who nodded encouragingly. He hadn’t forced her to announce their news in front of everyone today, and had actually suggested only telling Meredith and Maggie to start. However Amelia said she wanted to tell everyone at once, to avoid any questioning or whispering that might happen at the hospital. “Link and I are pregnant again. Tada, that’s the surprise.”
The entire table fell silent, while everyone processed the news. Maggie was the first to recover and jumped up out of her seat to give Amelia a hug. “Oh my gosh!” She squealed, engulfing Amelia into her embrace.
“That’s awesome news! I’m so happy I get to be Auntie Mer again,” Meredith said. It only made her a little sad to know that last time Link and Amelia had announced they were pregnant, Andrew had been with her and heard the news firsthand. She quickly shook her head to clear her mind of those thoughts. This was not the time nor place to think about Andrew DeLuca.
Next to Amelia, Link was receiving a fist bump from Winston and Jo smiled happily at her best friend. “I’m really happy for you, you’re gonna make a great dad times two.” Jo bounced Luna in her lap. “Are you excited to have another baby friend? Maybe it will be a girl this time.”
Link opened his mouth to reply, when Zola popped up between the new parents’ two chairs. “I can’t wait for another cousin! Can I say hi to the baby?” Nodding, Amelia pushed back her chair so that Zola could place her hands on her Auntie’s belly. Amelia was a bit overwhelmed by the well-wishes; she hadn’t expected so much attention. When she had started telling people about Scout’s coming, it was only Maggie then Link then Meredith and Andrew. People found out gradually. Oh god, Link was right! Cursing herself about her baby daddy being right about waiting, Amelia tried to drag herself out of her own thoughts.
The squeezing of her hand in Link’s brought her back. Zola had moved on, and was now happily talking about the new cousin on the way to Bailey and Ellis. Scout was napping just inside, which at least dialled back the noise. If one baby was loud, Amelia was scared to find out what two would be like.
Although she was excited. Goodness, she was over the damn moon about it. The first time Link had gotten her pregnant, she had been just scared, until Mr. Atticus Lincoln had turned her whole though process upside down. He had told her he would support her no matter what she decided; would love their baby unconditionally or drive her to the clinic if she chose to have an abortion. Amelia hadn’t ever felt that type of love before, the type that didn’t matter what she chose. It only grew with the pregnancy, at least after the whole “who’s the daddy” fiasco got cleared up. At least this time Amelia was one-hundred percent sure this baby was Link’s. She loved the baby they had made together the first time, and would love their second baby just as much.
While most of the people around the table seemed surprised, Link was very much not. When Amelia had told him she was pregnant, he had raised an eyebrow at her and laughed, before telling her he loved her and that he was the happiest man alive. With all the “athletic and aerobic” sex they had despite having four kids in the same house as them, it was no wonder he managed to get Amelia knocked up a second time in less than two years. It was more like one and a bit years, because what everyone else didn’t know was that Amelia was already five months along. They’d gotten pregnant around Scout’s half birthday. Good timing on their part...not. Both Link and Amelia weren’t against having more kids but had not wanted to discuss or try for a second for a while longer. Baby Amelink #2 was a bit of a surprise just like their older brother had been.
Owen and Teddy were the last to offer their congratulations. "Well I’m pleased for you both," Owen said, speaking for the first time since the bombshell was dropped. He didn't look at Teddy, because he knew what her face would convey. They had been wanting to add to their growing brood for the past couple months, but nothing had happened. Owen didn't think of himself as infertile, all previous mishaps had proven that, so he wasn't quite sure why he and Teddy hadn't gotten pregnant yet. Although he wasn't going to complain, especially when Amelia and Link seemed to just come to terms and that's why they chose to wait so long to announce it. He had been waiting for them to come out with their secret for a while now, after accidentally overhearing a conversation between them both in the pit post-consult. Like the good ex-husband-more like friend and fellow doctor-Owen was, he kept quiet and didn’t even tell Teddy. Now that their news was out in the open, at least he wouldn’t have to worry about slipping up ever.
Chatter continued amongst the friends, and Amelia relaxed now that the focus was off of her. She leaned back in her chair and placed a hand on her growing tummy. “You’re already a hit,” she whispered to the baby inside of her.
“Damn right she is,” Link leaned over and whispered in Amelia’s ear, sending shivers down her spine. Why did that voice always make her think dirty thoughts? Probably the hormones, and also the fact he used that exact tone in the bedroom. God Amelia, get your head out of the gutter, she thought to herself.
Amelia glanced at Link. “Are you calling girl on me?”
Link shrugged, not totally willing to admit it, but he was definitely thinking it was a girl. “Maybe. Jo said it first.”
“Oh sure, that’s what sparked it.” Amelia rolled her eyes but internally, she was smiling really big. “We already have a name regardless of their gender though.”
“We do.” Link smiled and pressed a kiss to Amelia’s temple. “Best name ever.”
“Even better than Scout?” She smiled back at the man she loved more than anything else in the world, maybe even more than Scout. Amelia loved her son very much, but it was his daddy that made everything in her life good. Every single moment, no matter how upsetting, Link somehow made it worth it. Made it worth all the hard nights and the crying sessions and the struggles to stay sober. He was her everything, and always would be. Together, they would be there for Scout and the new baby. It was always going to be them, until the very end.
Link thought for a moment. “Nope, but tied though.”
Laughing, Amelia nodded. “Alright, I can live with that.” They were quiet for a moment, then Link nudged Amelia with his elbow. She turned and saw Ellis standing beside her chair. “Hey Ellie-Belle, what’s up?”
“I wanna sit with you and the new baby. Where is it?” Ellis looked around, as though she magically expected a baby to appear outside in the backyard.
Meredith raised an eyebrow at her sister, as the youngest Shepherd pulled her niece into her lap with only minor difficulty. “If you have a girl, all I gotta say is that they’re clingy and ask a lot of questions. Such as,” she turned to Zola who was standing beside her patiently waiting to ask a question. “Yes, Zo-Zo?”
“When are we going to have dinner? Bailey’s hungry and we ate lunch over five hours ago.” Zola stated matter-of-factly.
“And with boys, you get the always hungry factor,” Meredith sighed.
“Know all about that,” Amelia said, with a pointed look at the baby monitor on the table. “I swear this kid never stops eating. He’s almost getting more action than Link is,” Amelia blurts out, forgetting there was a child in her lap and four others nearby. Well, more like 3 because Allison was inside napping with Scout.
No one really paid close attention, except Link who let out a chuckle. “Always telling like it is,” he said with a smirk. Link waited until Meredith had gotten up and headed inside with the rest of the adults and the other kids, minus the one in Amelia’s embrace, before he said anything else. “I love you,” he whispered, leaning over and pressing a soft kiss to her lips.
Amelia melted and wrapped her arms tighter around Ellis. For a minute she pretended that the small body in her lap was her own daughter, the girl’s older brother chasing after the food Bailey sought as well. “I love you too. Everyone took our surprise a lot better than I thought.”
“Of course they did. Because they love you, they love Scout and I guess they love me too,” Link added.
“They love you probably more than me. I’m the former drug addict, remember?”
“Hey, you’re still keeping your promise about not getting high. That’s all that matters.” Link placed one of his hands on Amelia’s belly, right where their baby was growing. Ellis twisted in Amelia’s lap and did the same, amazed by whatever her Uncle Link was doing. With a smile to both the girls present, he messed Ellis’ hair and then looked over at the woman he loved. The woman he had unashamedly surrendered his heart to, the woman who he would fight forever for. He had almost let her and their beautiful son slip through his fingers, but thank god his best friend told him to not mess what he had with Amelia up. She was his ever after, and it was true that before Amelia, he didn’t tell people he was in love with them often. Hookups were a thing of his past, after the gorgeous brown haired-blue eyed girl walked into his life. She had walked in, stolen his heart and stayed because they were going to be each other’s forever. They were each other’s forever.
A forever as a family of four. Because they already had Scout and a baby on the way which made them a family of four. Four was a number Link could work with, a number he sort of wanted to increase but only if Amelia wanted. He would do anything for her and vice versa. His girl was strong and brave and worked miracles everyday. If it was anything Atticus Lincoln was proud to do, it was call Amelia, his.
posting chapter 2 & 3 soon!
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