#bc if I’m not perfect 100% of the time

[wewontbesleeping]

$630 on vet bills this time <3

[totallynotgoat]

Proof that Matthew Lillard should play Coyle if there is ever a live action Outlast movie series, in this essay I will detail exactly why this casting choice should happen

[whyoneartheven]

suddenly I have realized my bad habit of procrastinating has become a nearly debilitating fear

[honeyvenommusic]

❗️NEWGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSAN-

[harrylights]

:”)

[aeide-thea]

still thinking abt the tumblrinx i encountered a while back whose pinned post said they were transmasc… and also demanded that men dni

like—i’m not confused by the convoluted not-like-the-other-boys doublethink that gets you there, i can follow the chain of illogic just fine, but i sure am deeply wearily depressed by it!

[victory-cookies]

sometimes I think I’m getting better at dealing with my fear of failure and stuff and then sometimes I say one thing that’s wrong and I can’t stop thinking about it the whole day

[itsaventingmachine]

They’ve murdered so many people <3

[sqeeebus]

No this literally happened to me recently— except more embarassing

[likeaustralianotcrosby]

No Nuance November

(nuance/additional thoughts located in the tags):

People who decide to become pastors/reverends/preachers/etc. probably shouldn’t have kids.

[norrisainz33]

beauty and brains || cs55

☆ summary: carlos’ long term partner is an engineering student, victoria’s secret model and all around fam favorite. him and a few others surprise her ahead of the singapore gp!

☆ pairing: carlos sainz x model!student!reader

☆ fc & warnings: kelsey merritt & none

☆ requested: yes!! thank you sm for the request and for your patience🤍

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

ynuser has posted to their story

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user1: beauty and brains fr

user2: you are everything

yourbff: i can’t even imagine the stress of exams and the show

ynuser: i am so stressed but we shall persevere 😭 last time i ever have to do this!!

yourbff: you have GOT THIS GIRL! you gonna be a graduate so SOON!!!!!

ynuser: going to need some drinks after this is all over

yourbff: say less baby

carlossainz55: my gorgeous girl i can’t wait to see you 🤍

ynuser: i can’t wait to see you in singapore mi amor 🤍

carlossainz55: counting down the minutes. i am so incredibly proud of you

ynuser: 🥹🥹🥹🥹 don’t make me cry carlos

alexandrasaintmleux: you’re going to crush these exams mon ami

ynuser: thank you best friend 😘

user3: vs fashion show?! that is huge! im so proud of you 😭

user4: omg i’m going to the singapore gp too!!! i hope i see you

user5: you are the blueprint

carlossainz55 has posted to his story

[i am so proud of you my love. the sky is the limit and this only the beginning]

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user3: YAYYYY CONGRATS TO OUR FAVORITE PRINCESS

user5: how she managed to get a degree and be a full time model at the same time is so impressive

landonorris: yessssss that’s our girl let’s gooooooo

carlossainz55: could not be more proud!

landonorris: i am having the hardest time keeping my mouth shut abt the fact that we’re going to her show. she keeps talking about how much she misses you and all of us

carlossainz55: if you tell her i’ll drive you straight off track in singapore

landonorris: understood

user6: carlos are you going to the vs show??????

ynuser: i love you so much 😭 thank you for the flowers, im so glad to have gotten them this morning. i wish you could be here!

carlossainz55: it is the least i could do!! i love you more than words could express. i’ll see you soon 🤍

lilymhe: you should’ve gotten her more flowers

carlossainz55: 100 roses is not enough?

lilymhe: nothing is enough when you’re dating the most perfect woman in the world

carlossainz55: i suppose you got me there

scuderiaferrari: we are so proud of y/n!!

user8: begging to know if you’re going to make an appearance at the victoria secret fashion show king

user10: simp ☝🏻

user11: you’ve moved me with this carlos

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liked by carlossainz55, carmenmundt, victoriassecret, judebellingham, erlinghaaland, and 764,238 others

ynuser: new york city - it’s time 🪽

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user6: ahhhhh it’s vs time!!!

user8: gUYS is carlos going to be there to support her 😭

user12: i feel like no bc singapore is right around the corner

user8: ugh yeah true but this is so important and he already missed graduation 😭

user12: ik!!! crossing fingers he can make it

user10: the footballers in her likes lol

carmenmundt: so effortlessly beautiful

ynuser: that’s you carmen 😘

carlossainz55: that’s MY girl

ynuser: yes it is 🤍

user9: i’m literally so excited to watch the show later

victoriassecret: can’t wait to see you later y/n 🩷

yourbff: so glad to be here with you 🫶🏻

ynuser: you’re my rock

oscarpiastri: time to shine

ynuser: 💎

user10: that’s our engineering graduate!!! look at her go!!!

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f1gossip: 🚨 breaking: carlos sainz, lando norris, charles leclerc, george russell, carmen mundt, and alexandra saint mleux have all been spotted arriving at the victoria’s secret fashion show in support of y/n y/l/n who will be walking in the show tonight

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user12: user8 he’s there 🥹

user8: i fully screamed this news made me so happy

user12: we love to see the support 😭

user15: no bc i’m about to cry. what do you mean all of them flew out to new york when they’re supposed to be in singapore in 3 days to support their girl y/n/n?????

user22: no because they clearly love her so much im sick

user16: this is an elite pull by y/n

user4: this is everything to me i hope you understand

user19: praying this brings good karma to carlos in singapore

user18: y/n is so loved

user8: she really is 😭

user5: things i will never shut up about: this

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lando.jpg: even though carlos told me to close my eyes more times than i could count at the show, i wouldn’t have wanted to spend 24 hours in nyc with anyone else. congrats to y/n - we all love you muppet

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user3: he revived lando.jpg to congratulate his friend this is so sweet

user55: CARLOS TOLD ME TO CLOSE MY EYES IM CRACKING UP

carlossainz55: thanks for coming with me mate! and yes don’t look at my girlfriend

lando.jpg: my bad mate! i forgot i went to the fashion show to not look at any of the fashion

ynuser: carlos 🙄

carlossainz55: 🤭

user9: who is gonna tell carlos that his girl is a model and it’s literally her job to be looked at in crying

ynuser: landito!!!! i can’t express how happy i was to see you all there. thank you for coming my sweet sweet bestie

lando.jpg: y/n/nito!!!! ofc always happy to support you

user8: the way carlando and y/ncarlando are so close is so incredibly important to me

user43: the second pic of y/n and carlos just called me single in 55 different languages

lando.jpg: same

user43: LANDO

oscarpiastri: lily and i wish we could have been there!!! still so proud of you ynuser

ynuser: you were there in spirit, i felt it

use13: i’m not gonna be normal abt this, sorry in advance everyone

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ynuser: last night was unreal, a total dream come true. ever since i started modeling it was a dream of mine to walk in the victoria’s secret fashion show and i did it!! but what made the night even sweeter was all the amazing people who came to support me. to my carlos, thank you for making that happen 🤍 see you all in singapore!! i need a nap 😴

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user2: you were radiant

user5: the peoples princess fr

carlossainz55: anything for you mi angel

ynuser: i’m the luckiest girl in the world

carmenmundt: i’m so glad i got to be there!!! you are a STAR

georgerussell63: what carmen said!

ynuser: thank you carmen and georgie!! i love you both 🫶🏻

alexandrasaintmleux: proud is an understatement

ynuser: 🥹 i’m so thankful for you

user7: she is the moment

user10: i hope you get the best sleep of your life on that trip to singapore

sabrinacarpenter: gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous

ynuser: 🤍

user9: i’m going to miss you when i scroll

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user3: you need a rest ms girl idk how you’re still standing after exams and the vs show and now traveling to singapore

lilymhe: yayyy lemme come find you

ynuser: yesss please!!! i’m with carmen and alex

lilymhe: yay yay yay yay

user6: praying you bring him good luck today! i am SICK of the dutch national anthem

yourbff: did you sleep the whole flight?

ynuser: omg yes thank GOD. pays to have a bf with a private jet

yourbff; GOOD you needed that

lilyzneimer: i’m so glad you’re here with us 🫶🏻 i missed you

ynuser: i missed you more lils

lilyzneimer: truly not possible

user5: i’m here too!!! hoping to see you ms queen

user9: thank god you’re back in the paddock i missed seeing pics of you there

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liked by carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari, landonorris, zendaya, yourbff, lilymhe, and 564,133 others

ynuser: carlos sainz!!! el matador!!!!! oh my god i am speechless!! you did that baby 🤍

view all 876 comments

user55: CARLOOOOSSSSSSSS

user6: carlos sainz winner of the singapore gp!!!! breaker of the mv win streak!!!

user8: tell me you all saw the clip of her crying while watching him on the podium

user2: might have been the cutest thing i’d ever seen

user8: i hope a love like that finds me

carlossainz55: you brought me some luck mi princessa 🤍

ynuser: no luck needed with a drive like that 😍

landonorris: i made the photo dump 🥹

ynuser: of course you did mr podium man

user9: carlando podium is so important to me

yourbff: congrats carlos!!! truly amazing stuff from you

carlossainz55: gracias y/bff

scuderiaferrari: ❤️❤️❤️

user11: i never thought i would care so much about vroom vroom cars but y/n you have shown me the light

user10: oh i love you two so much

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

a/n: thank you for reading!! likes and reblogs appreciated. i do be slow af on here with these requests,, my apologies y’all

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction

© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform

[scottiexmariee]

Sorry if this is a weird request, but I just need it so badly bc of the misty invasion card with Zayne. My request is how the LADs would act with an MC who is apart of the big tittie committee, if you know what I mean. And what their reaction would be to them wearing low necklines are crop tops and stuff. Thank you so much

Not weird at all. I gotchu <3

Big Titty Committee

Pairings: Xavier x Reader | Zayne x Reader | Rafayel x Reader | Sylus x Reader

Warnings: NSFW. Suggestive AF. Reader has massive knockers. No explicit smut, but it is heavily implied. Starving Zayne, flustered Rafayel.

Word Count: 2.2k

Masterlist

☆ 100% using your honkers as a pillow

☆ Plops his lil head down on your tig ol bitties and hes out COLD

☆ 10/10 occasionally pretends to be tired just to lay his head down for the squish

Xavier would give just about anything to spend his free time with you in a tangle of limbs, laying wherever was cozy, basking in the perfect combination of warmth and comfort. He could conk out anywhere, but he definitely had his favorite spots. 

On the couch with you wrapped in his arms, back pressed snugly to his chest. 

His head in your lap, location unimportant. 

But his favorite?

Using your breasts as a pillow. The warmth?? The squish?? Heavenly. The feeling of resting his head on your deliciously plump chest was borderline euphoric. Sometimes, it was hard not to drool, the combination of your chest and the way your fingers ran through his hair nearly making his brain stop working every. single. time. 

He’d had a long day today, and he was very tired. His thoughts on the elevator ride to your floor consisted of one thing and one thing only: curling up with you and getting some much needed rest. 

When he entered your apartment with the key you’d given him, he was not expecting to see you in a nightgown that was so low-cut you’d likely flash him if you moved too quickly. He didn’t react outwardly, but it took him a moment to recover. 

You’d embraced him in a loving hug, blissfully unaware that your chest pressing against his was absolutely having more of an effect on him than usual, all thanks to the nightgown. He managed to play it cool, keeping up a facade of innocence, for now. 

Xavier was patient. Xavier was also sly enough to wait until the right moment.

The two of you had curled up in bed, ready to call it a night. Xavier had oh-so-casually rolled over and placed his head on your chest, nuzzling up to you and relishing in the feeling of warmth pressing against his cheek. As expected, the warmth went straight south. 

“Man,” He murmured, opening an eye to peek up at you. The teasing tone in his voice was very evident, matched by an almost imperceptible smile. “It’s a little chilly in here. I think I should be closer,”

You let out an amused huff of air. “How can you possibly get any closer?”

Xavier sat up, staring down at your nightgown. If it weren’t for the subtle glimmer of mischief in his eyes, he would have appeared completely serious.

“I’ve read that clothes dilute warmth,” He said, eyes flitting from your nightgown to your face, “I think…I’d like my pillow to be a bit warmer.”

That nightgown very quickly became one of your favorite bedtime choices.

❅ okay I’m gonna say it 

❅ You can’t tell me Zayne isn’t a breast guy

❅ ^^ the way he gets all greedy with your chest/neck in the Hidden Motive card?  HELLO??

❅ if you tease him with something low cut he’s going to TOWN on those babies the second he gets the chance 

❅ Face all cozy & warm and pressed up in there? WELCOME HOME DOCTOR ZAYNE

You didn’t know what you were in for when you’d chosen to accompany Zayne to an afterparty for an awards ceremony. You’d chosen a simple, classy cocktail dress that matched the color of his tie. You’d sent Zayne a picture of it on the hanger, and he’d cleared it, agreeing that the dress was nice. When the dress was on, you realized the neckline was a little lower than it looked on the hanger. Cleavage was unavoidable in certain styles, but the dress was still pretty, so you doubled down and wore it anyway.

Zayne accepted very quickly that it was going to be an excruciatingly long night the second he came to pick you up, his throat going uncomfortably dry as soon as you exited your apartment. You’d gotten into his car with a gorgeous smile, smelling ridiculously enticing, chest looking absolutely heavenly in that dress, completely unaware that Zayne was fighting for his life in the drivers’ seat. 

Zayne is a very disciplined man. You, however, had him battling to keep his eyes on the road for the duration of the drive–voice coming out slightly strained when he spoke and knuckles white from the intense grip on the steering wheel. It hadn’t even been 10 minutes.

Zayne’s focus was not all there at the party, either. He’d done his best to distract himself by mingling, but he received a harsh reality check every time he caught a glimpse of you in that dress that was making him feel downright sinful. The fact that you were blissfully unaware of his internal crisis almost made the entire situation worse. At one point, he even snuck off to the bathroom to splash cool water on his face, desperately trying to shock the indecent thoughts out of his system.

After three torturous hours of Zayne doing his best to look anywhere but your chest, the party was over. You’d thought his pace on the walk back to the car was a little quicker than usual, but you assumed he was just ready to be off of his feet for the night. 

Zayne’s struggle only heightened when the two of you had gotten back into the car, the close proximity resembling a match dangerously close to gasoline. His composure was hanging by a thread.

He made it back to his house. Barely.

Once the two of you were inside, the door had barely shut before he had you backed into the wall, lips already attacking your neck and chest, placing hot, open-mouthed kisses that left fire in their wake. The usually composed and stoic Doctor Zayne was no longer in the building.

“You don’t have to be so intense,” You murmured, although you really didn’t mind. 

He pulled back and looked at you, his eyes smoldering and nearly making you shudder. “How could I not be, when you look like that?” 

Zayne’s composure and restraint had finally snapped.

While Zayne continued his greedy mission on your neck and chest, silently cursing that dress for existing, you were already planning out the next time you would wear it. 

❀ absolutely a flustered, stuttering mess (at least until he gets used to it)

❀ fighting for his life to look anywhere else, simply for the sake of his sanity

It was ungodly hot in Linkon. It was peak summer, and the temperature had reached a high of 102 degrees(f). It was so hot that your apartment building couldn’t keep up with everyone using their cooling units at once, which had caused the worst case scenario: a power outage. Sometimes, not even technology as advanced as it was could keep up with a heat wave. You’d changed into the absolute bare minimum, a tank top and shorts, but it was still too much.

After only 45 minutes of sitting in a hot, dark apartment, a beautiful idea popped in your head: Rafayel. 

Not only was he right by the water, his studio almost definitely hadn’t lost power. After a quick phone call to make sure he was there, you headed there.

Rafayel had nearly fallen over when he opened the door to see you standing there. Your tank top left very little to imagination, and the cool air from his studio suddenly felt nonexistent on his rapidly heating skin. He nearly slammed the door in your face out of pure panic.

“W–you–get inside!” He all but dragged you in, rapidly searching for the nearest thing he could use to block your chest from his view. He was willing to rip a curtain off the rod if it meant he could breathe easier for a few seconds.

“Rafayel! What are you doing?” 

His saving grace was quickly located: A jacket he’d recently tossed on the back of a chair and forgotten about. He yanked it off and shoved it at you. “Put those away!” 

You scoffed. “Dude. It’s hot!” You swatted his hand away, the motion causing a tasteful jiggle in your chest. It had not gone unnoticed by Rafayel, who whipped his head away so quickly it almost looked like he’d gotten slapped. “It’s like 100 degrees out, I’m not putting on a jacket,”

Rafayel had found a spot on the wall to stare at, hoping his face and ears weren’t as pink as they felt. “You went outside like that? Are you trying to cause an accident?” 

“I–you seriously can’t handle a little bit of boob, Rafayel?” 

You were laughing now, but Rafayel was not. His cheeks were darker than you’d ever seen them, accompanied by a singular bead of sweat dripping down his forehead. The man was stressed.

No, Rafayel could not handle a little bit of boob. Not when they looked like that, anyway. Not when it was you attached to them, and not when they were that nice. It was simply unfair, in his mind. Rafayel was currently a man that was parched, and your chest was a very tempting, cool glass of water. 

He’d gained enough consciousness to turn the temperature way lower, doing everything he could to remember how to breathe until his studio cooled down enough that you put on the jacket. 

Slowly, his heart rate returned to normal, and his cheeks finally stopped burning for the first time since you’d arrived. You, on the other hand, were just thankful to be out of the heat. 

Not long after Rafayel had finally felt normal again, he cast a glance over his shoulder to see what you were doing. You were leaning against the windowsill, longingly looking out at the water. When you felt his gaze, you voiced your thoughts. 

“I brought a bathing suit. We should go swimming,” 

The tank top had been bad enough. But seeing you in a bikini? Too soon.

He shook his head vigorously, nearly tripping over the coffee table to come shut the curtains, desperately trying to block the ocean from your view so you could no longer be tempted.

“Can’t,” He said, his voice coming out raspy, “too many sharks today. Guess you’ll just have to stay in here with the jacket on,” 

You hung out until your power was restored. Thankfully, it had cooled down outside as well. Rafayel nearly collapsed from relief when you finally left. 

Unfortunately for him, he would never be able to get that image out of his head.

⟡ This man worships every inch of you as is, so he’d be more than happy to have a lil extra to appreciate

⟡ 100% getting custom clothing tailored to accentuate//flatter your figure, even if it’s just for him to look at

⟡ Shamelessly checks you out no matter what you’re wearing, but it’s 100x worse if you have some tasteful cleavage goin’ on

Sylus didn’t even attempt to hide where he was looking during dinner tonight. The man was shameless, and you both knew it. In fact, he was making it a point to make sure you knew where he was looking, too. A not-so-subtle warning on what was to come. He knew how to appreciate what was right in front of him, and he did so with a smug smirk on his face as he listened to you talk about anything but the obvious. 

How could he not look? You were already a threat to his ability to keep his hands to himself on a good day, but the dress you were currently wearing was pushing his limits. It was cruel, like dangling a steak in front of a starving dog. That dog is definitely lunging for the steak.

With a slow, casual sip of his wine, his eyes finally found your face long enough for him to ask a question. “Are you enjoying yourself, sweetie?” 

You shrugged, the motion absolutely causing a noticeable jiggle. “Yeah, dinner is nice. We should come here again.”

His eyes flitted back down, eyeing the deep neckline of your dress. “That’s not what I meant, kitten,”

You knew exactly what he meant. You were the biggest tease in the entire solar system at this very moment, intentionally picking a dress that had your titties looking like they were sculpted by the Gods. ‘Casual’ dinner date? As if. ‘Tempting Sylus’ should have been your title at this point. 

“I seem to remember you were the one that ordered this dress,” You responded, doing everything in your power not to smirk. He had, in fact, been the one to pick out that dress. However, he had seriously underestimated how good your boobs would look in it. He was currently paying the price for that.  

Sylus looked back to your face, seriously considering ripping the dress off of you and burning it after he was done…with other things, bystanders be damned. That dress was nothing more than a distraction, and he couldn’t have distractions. 

“Is that so?” He drawled, leaning back in his chair. He took another quick glance down, then took another sip of his wine in an attempt to ease the increasing dryness in his throat. 

After a moment, he leaned forward with a devilish grin, looking you straight in the eyes. 

“Since I’m the one that ordered it for you,” He began, his voice a sultry purr, “does that mean I also have the pleasure of taking it off?”

[moonstruckme]

hihi mae!! in honor of the season, could i request reader convincing bodygaurd!james to carve pumpkins together. and it’s basically just him on the brink of cardiac arrest bc reader is using the biggest butcher knife possible, like an absolute menace, and he’s 100% convinced she’s gonna saw her fingers off lol. thx for considering ♡

Thank you lovely!!

bodyguard!James x fem!reader ♡ 814 words

James has half a mind to find you a plastic knife and let you make do with that. It might take you a while longer, yeah, but at least he wouldn’t have to feel every muscle in his body tense each time you stab the knife you’ve picked through your pumpkin. 

“I thought you were doing a cat,” he says, watching you push another piece out from what will be your pumpkin’s mouth. 

“I am.” 

“Why does it have fangs?” 

“It just felt like it should.” You shrug. “Sort of spookier that way, right? Maybe it’s a vampire cat.” 

“And here I thought it was going to be cute.” 

You smile at him. “No, Jamie. That’s yours.” 

With all his attention on making sure you don’t slash yourself, James has made pitifully little progress on his own pumpkin. He’s only managed to cut out the nose, but when he’s done it’s going to be a classic, smiling jack-o-lantern, except with hearts for eyes. You’d beamed and called it fitting when James told you his plan. He’s been ruminating over what you could have meant by that ever since. 

For his own project he’s using a small paring knife, mostly because he’d hoped you’d follow his example (what wishful thinking that was) but also because James doesn’t tend to do well with precision and he didn’t see a big knife helping matters. You, however, have selected what may be the largest knife he’s ever seen. He can’t comprehend what a beast that size would even be necessary for in a kitchen, much less for carving a pumpkin. Your unskilled grip on the handle makes the hairs on his arms stand on end. 

“I think we ought to find you a different tool,” he tries again. 

“James, you worry too much.” You roll your eyes, hardly looking as you shove your knife through the flesh of your pumpkin. He flinches. “This one is working fine.” 

“Right, I just feel like—” You do it again. James worries he’s developing an eye twitch. “—like possibly I’m not doing my job by letting you handle a weapon like that.”

“It’s not a weapon, it’s a kitchen knife.” 

Again, not a clue what in the kitchen could require a knife that large. 

“I think its capacity for injury is the same regardless, angel. Let me have it, please? That way I can keep working here and you can keep all of your fingers.” 

“You need to chill out,” you say, unnervingly serene for someone who seems to James on the precipice of life-changing injury. “This knife is the perfect size for how big I want my eyes to be. If I have to saw using another one, they won’t look as clean.” 

“Is that really worth risking your hand for?” 

“Yes. I want the triangles to look nice when I stick them onto the top as its ears.” 

“How are you going to do that?” 

“With toothpicks.” 

Right. A more moderate risk of injury, for sure, but James is now too high-strung to imagine anything other than disastrous outcomes between you and sharp objects. He imagines you skewering one of your lovely fingertips on a toothpick, the surprised look on your face when it happens. His own heart bursting straight out of his chest from overexertion. 

“Maybe I could do that part for you,” James suggests weakly. 

“Shit.” You’re looking into your hollow pumpkin. “The eye won’t come out.” 

“Let me try.” 

“No, I’ve got it.” 

Before he can stop you, you’re sticking your knife inside your pumpkin. It comes spearing out the other side a moment later, the triangle of one eye impaled on its tip. James chokes on a gasp as you stop it within inches of your abdomen. 

“There,” you say satisfiedly. 

James makes a strangled sound. “No,” he says, seizing your wrist and carefully removing the knife from your hand. “No, I can’t do it. We’re swapping.” 

“What?” You look at him with wide, wounded eyes. It’s adorable, compelling even, but James won’t allow himself to budge. “But your knife is so lame.” 

James guffaws. He feels half delirious. This is it, he thinks. His love for you has finally driven him insane. 

“It’s not lame.” 

You pout. “It’s tiny.” 

“Sweetheart.” James sets the knife down to hold your face in both hands. You go still with surprise. “If you stab yourself with your giant knife, I won’t be around to get fired. I’ll die of heartbreak. Do you understand?” 

You roll your eyes at him, but you’re softening. “You really like my hands that much?” 

“I like all of you. In tact. You’re perfect as you are.” 

“Fine, whatever.” You pull your face from his grasp, picking up the smaller knife. “I know you secretly just wanted to be the one with the bigger knife, though.” 

“Yeah, you’ve caught me. Can’t get anything past you.”

[neuvistar]

ASS, TITS OR THIGHS?

— featuring ┊satoru gojo, toji fushiguro, suguru geto, kento nanami, choso kamo x fem!reader (all separate)

— warnings / content warnings ┊suggestive obvi, not proofread oops, cunnilingus, uhm uhm use of nicknames, riding, mentions of titfucking, overall suggestive content | 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

— a/n ┊jujutsu kaisen hyperfixation got the best of me guys i betrayed u all and accidentally became a gojo + sukuna liker i’m sorry. apology coming soon /j 😔

𖦹 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎

let’s be real here.. i know damn well this guy is definitely a tit man. cmon it’s just this feeling in me that can sense this guy’s love for titties, he’s the number one tit lover guys im telling you! i bet gojo is def the type to stand behind you and tower over you) at random times and slowly slip his large hands into your shirt, squeezing your tits like it’s the most casual thing for him! of course you wouldn’t mind.. so you would just carry on with whatever you were doing. up until he nuzzles against your nape, inhaling your scent as his fingers tug and pinch at your sensitive nipples, smirking against your skin when he hears you whimper at his touch. this guy makes your head spin sometimes it’s actually insane. “ooh. they’re soft.” “that’s how they’re supposed to be, dumbass” ngl i feel like gojo would love your tits for the dumbest reason ever, like since he’s rlly rlly tall i feel like he would like your tits all because “they’re easier to reach” LMFAO he’s so silly! this guy probably love’s embarrassing you sometimes cuz he would grab your tits literally ANYWHERE (if ur fine w it ofc) in conclusion.. he loves seeing you all embarrassed whenever he brings a hand to cup your tits in his hand!

gojo here loves stuffing his face in your tits, he doesn’t care.. it’s the ocean he wants to dive into 2nite lol! anyways sometimes during sweet little cuddle sessions he would straight up pull you up by your hips and press himself closer against your body before leaning down to drown his face in the softness your tits, cmon.. can you blame him? but anyways! gojo loves your titties regardless.. big or small, small or big, he’ll still be willing to shove his face in ‘em! he definitely has a thing for titfucking, you just.. look so hot laying there all sweet for him, squeezing your tits against his hard cock while he thrusts in between them, trying his best not to overdo it. “f—fuck.. they’re so soft.. so perfect. no one has ever fucked your tits like this like i have right, angel? mhm? look at them.. s’pretty and all mine.” he pinched your nipples rather harshly, forcing a whine to leave your pretty lips. “all mine, yeah?”

𖦹 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

look me in the eyes and tell me toji fushiguro doesn’t look like the ultimate ass man ever, cmon tell me! are we really surprised tho? are we REALLY surprised? he looks like the biggest ass man known to mankind it’s not even funny at this point he loves ass he mfing does i tell you. this old hag probably steals a few glances at your ass from time to time whenever you wear a skirt.. or a dress for special occasions, toji cant control himself bro it’s not his fault you had allat back there.. it’s not his fault for looking it was an accident! (no it was not and you knew it) ngl the first time he caught a glimpse of your ass he probably said “damn.” so loudly, loud and clear for you to hear. “damn.” you heard a familiar voice behind you, glancing over your shoulder to see your boyfriend’s intense gaze at your bottom. “i knew your ass was nice but i didn’t know it was this nice.. damnn.” “oh shut up, will you?” idk abt u guys but toji is probably the type to slap it while you walk past him sometimes.. like it’s so unexpected you just straight up flinch and glare up at him, rubbing it to try and ease the pain bc i bet his slaps HURT sometimes

toji 100% a fan of you taking it from the back.. he loves it! i mean do i need to explain further? though he loves seeing your facial expressions to see just how well he fucks you but i feel like he prefers to see your ass and well-defined back. you have this man in a TRANCE. no matter how hard he tries to focus on you, his eyes always manage to wander down to your rear. he loves pounding into you mercilessly like there’s no tomorrow just to see the jiggle physics of yo ass because gahhh dayummmm he loves the way it moves, my guy probably spanks too i’m telling u this dude loves ass, especially yours.. it’s an unhealthy obsession at this point idk what to tell u 🤷‍♀️

𖦹 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎

suguru def a thigh man, i don’t even know my reasoning but he just screams thigh man.. like he seems like the type to love them ykwim? like he just loves diving into them any time he gets, holding your thighs against his hands while he pushes them to your chest. he def loves eating you out just so he can feel your thighs caging around his head, he loves how soft they are, how warm they feel whenever he gives them a little squeeze. personally i bet this fucker is probably a lil crazy about your thighs, just a little bit! whenever you sit on his face, he pushes you even more against his mouth. his tongue is talented that’s all i have to say, suguru doesn’t give two fucks if he can’t breath against your overstimulated pussy, he wants you to crush him with your pretty thighs thighs.. he wants your thighs to be the last thing he feels + sees before he suffocates and dies a happy man! suguru would keep you spread on his face, not caring about anything else in the world but you and your plushy thighs around his head. buddy probably eats you out like it’s his last, squeezing and helping your thighs trap his face in between them. god, he loves your thighs

suguru wrapped his lips around your pussy again, forcefully pulling you even closer until his nose was bumping against your clit, was that even possible? “s—su.. suguru!” one orgasm, then the next.. and the next after that, he hasn’t even came up for air.. you were worried at how much your thighs caged around his head, worrying about suffocating further. you tried pulling yourself up, looking down at him as your lips quivered. “suguru you okay?—“ no. he was most definitely not! he was struggling 2 breath but he didn’t give TWO FUCKS!! “your thighs.. feel so warm around me. sit back down, princess. i’m not done.. ‘wanna feel your pretty thighs against me again.” “.. but are you sure? you were struggling to breathe i could feel it—“ “sit, princess. i said sit. do i need to repeat myself?” no siiiirrr 🙅‍♀️

𖦹 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈

ngl out of everyone here nanami is the most “normal” and tamed if this question ever comes along, my guy would probably answer with something like “they’re just body parts. is there even a reason to pay attention to female assets?” uhm. no obviously not but they’re hot ++ the question is important smartass. tbh i feel like nanami wouldn’t really care, he just.. appreciates you for being there by his side, he wouldn’t really care much about your body and what he likes about it, cuz babe he loves everything about you! such a sweetheart! but in all seriousness, i feel like he’d really be into your tits for some reason.. i mean come on! sometimes if he’s feeling a lil extra EXTRA bold be would sneak a few glances towards your cleavage, swallowing the lump in his throat as he notices you didn’t have a bra on that day. nanami would literally fight for his life and try his best to restrain himself n his desires every single time he would see you in any outfit that shows your cleavage.

i bet there was this one time you guys were about to cook together n you needed help with the apron so he helped you tie it, but then his hand accidentally brushed against your breast LMFAO. poor guy would realize slowly after and start contemplating his whole life and life decisions, apologizing to you sincerely and that he didn’t mean to do that! “kento seriously it’s fine, i don’t mind! if you wanted to touch them, you could’ve said so.” “i told you it was an accident, love. it’s not like that at all.” you chuckled at him before grabbing his hand and slowly bringing it close to your tits, making him touch em as the soft skin of your tits melt into his palm. “soft right?” you cooed, wincing a little when you felt his thumb brushing against your hardened nipple. “..mm.” cmon kento ⁉️ don’t be in denial! accept yourself as a certified tittie liker!

𖦹 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎

tbh this guy could love all three of these, like there is not a single part of you he loves more than the other but if he really had to choose.. he would probably be fond of your ass, making him a semi ass man despite him.. probably liking all three! but then again.. lemme just say.. i know an ass/tit man when i see one (n he looks like one but my pick for today is ass) poor choso probably caught himself looking at your ass for a whole minute and he had to slap himself for a second to get himself back to reality, he can’t help it! your body is so hypnotic to him. i bet he’s also the type to give your bottom little taps and pokes whenever he needs something from you (damn) ++ my guy is probably a fan of you taking it from the back also, just like toji! listen listen okay. listen. reverse cowgirl position. lemme tell u he gets SOOO flustered whenever you ride him with your back turned against him, bouncing yourself on his cock while he can’t help but look down at your ass and how much it moved (lolz!) and how well your cunt was sucking him in! choso probably the type to bring a hand up to pull your hair, running his fingers through your hair as he tugs your back to him with your back arched, planting soft chaste kisses on your neck

choso doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable in anyway so he absolutely refuses to even plant a lil smack to your ass, even just a soft one! he would hold himself back n wouldn’t do it unless you wanted him too! if you do.. expect a lot of them coming your way because i bet he loves seeing your ass jiggle LIKEEE ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY NO MORE i bet his cock would twitch inside you every single fucking time he would see the jiggle physics of your ass! like i said.. he’s a fan of you taking it from the back! jiggle physics go absolutely craaaaazy 😝🙏

[sanguineterrain]

Feel like I’m so basic but Jason Todd with a crush and him having zero social skills and just being super clumsy despite being highly competent when he’s in the field. Crush is like real sweet and kind maybe a service worker ✨

anon u are so true and real for this bc jason is definitely an unsocialized cat when he has a crush 💓

jason todd x gn!reader. shyish/anxious jason with a big fat crush. baker reader. annoying customer. the duality of jason todd. 1.6k words.

also i fully believe that silently leaving huge tips as a way to flirt is like. a wayne trait. 100% that family does that bc of bruce.

prompt lists are here! i reblog all fics to @sanguinelibrary

****

Business has been slow.

It's not like you expect your cafe to be packed to the rafters all day long, but you've had a grand total of four customers today. One of them only came in to ask where Starbucks was.

Frankly, you're not sure the cafe can afford to stay afloat for much longer. Gotham isn't known to preserve small businesses, and the conglomerates (cough, Wayne Enterprises) are taking over the world anyway.

So today is a reading day. You might even close early.

You're at a table in the back, so absorbed in Poirot's sleuthing that you don't hear the door open. It isn't until you turn the page and look up that you see your resident lurker waiting quietly at the display case. You flinch so hard that you spill iced tea on your jeans.

"Shit," you murmur, grabbing a wad of napkins and patting yourself dry.

Jason (as is written on his coffee cup) looks up from the pastries, teal eyes wide. You smile briefly at him. For such a big guy, his footsteps are astonishingly soft.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, voice rough like he doesn't speak much.

"Yeah, fine. You just startled me—I didn't hear you come in. Were you waiting long? Sorry about that."

"Oh. No, I wasn't. Sorry." He shifts weight between his feet. "You seemed pretty engrossed in your book. I didn't, uh, want to disturb you."

"Oh, hey, don't worry about that! It's literally my job to be here," you say, though you can't help but melt over how freaking sweet that is.

Jason visits you a minimum of twice a week. He's been coming for a couple of weeks. You know a whole three things about him: he's a university student, he pretty much only dresses in red or black, and he's unfairly cute.

At first, you were reasonably wary of him because it's Gotham, and he's so damn quiet. It's a little scary. You thought maybe he was an undercover spy casing the joint. Now you know he's just awkward.

"Slow day?" he asks.

"Slow year, more like. How are you? How was your exam?"

He blinks. "Exam?"

"Didn't you have an American lit exam last week?"

"Oh. Uh, yeah. Wow. Yes, I did. It was okay. Got an A."

"That's great! I knew you'd ace it."

His cheeks turn pink. Okay, you actually know four things about him: he blushes a lot.

You go to start the coffee machine. "Do you think you'll—"

"I-I have to go."

You watch, stunned, as he hurries out the door. That's when you notice the fifty dollar bill in your tip jar.

You don't know if you should bring up yesterday. Jason's back; that probably means everything's fine, right? You're not sure if you said something wrong, though. You've gone over the interaction a hundred times since and you can't figure out why he's so skittish around you.

"Hi. Hibiscus tea, please," he says, stoic as always.

You prepare his order, yesterday's interaction still fresh in your head. You should say something, shouldn't you? Or...

"Sorry about yesterday," Jason blurts, so fast you almost miss it. "Running out, I mean. I was, uh—I forgot something."

Well. Looks like he's going to bring it up for you.

"Oh, you don't have to apologize! If I said something wrong..."

Jason shakes his head fervently. "No, God no. You're perfect."

Your eyebrows shoot up. He turns red this time.

"I mean—not perf—well, you're amazing, don't get me wrong! Except, like, what is perfect, y'know? My brother has gotten into the habit of calling everything perfection like some kind of sitcom character. Alfred will make pie, and Dick'll go, "Alfie, that was perfection." And I feel like it's such an exaggeration—"

Jason's mouth snaps closed. He rubs his forehead.

"Um, I actually have chronic foot-in-mouth disease. It gets really, stupidly bad. Sorry."

You're trying hard not to giggle. You want to smother him in frosting and take a bite.

"You're really sweet, you know that?" you say.

"I'm really not," he says with a sigh.

"Not true. Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything."

You go into the kitchen and return with your latest experiment: matcha cream puffs.

"Do you mind trying these for me? You're not allergic to anything, are you?"

Jason's shoulders hunch. "Are you sure you want my opinion?"

"Of course I'm sure," you say happily. "I trust you."

"You trust me," he repeats quietly.

"Yup!"

Jason takes a puff and bites. He starts to nod.

"It's really good. You're really—all your creations are—yeah. It's good."

You squint. "No notes? Really?"

"They're perfection, as my brother would say."

Fuck, you like him so much.

"Have another one," you say, pushing the tray towards him.

"I shouldn't—"

"Wait! I'll pack you some!" you interrupt, flitting back to the kitchen to get a Tupperware.

Jason helplessly accepts the container of puffs you shove into his hands.

"Let me pay-" he tries to say, but you shake your head.

"Nope! I won't accept payment for these. Not from my favorite customer."

"Your favorite?"

"My favorite," you confirm, grinning.

"Oh." His ears turn pink as he walks to the door, cream puffs in hand. "Uh, right. Thanks. See you tomorrow."

"Jason? Don't you want your tea?"

"Shit. Yeah." He returns to the counter and takes his drink. This he insists on paying for, so you let him, because you do have rent to pay, after all.

"So nice to see you!" you add, because the stiffness in his gait is kind of throwing you off.

He just nods, slipping out the door as quietly as he came.

Today, Jason's in a red workout tank. You have to make the conscious effort to not ogle his arms.

"Hey, Jason!" you say cheerily.

"Hi," he says softly.

"The usual?" you ask, and he looks up in surprise.

"You know my order?"

You gently roll your eyes. "Of course I know your order, silly. Favorite customer, remember?"

"Oh." He looks away, brow furrowed. Then he turns to you and his expression smooths over. "Yes, please. Thanks."

"Sure. Give me one second? I just have to finish decorating some sugar cookies."

"Take your time," Jason says, then goes to skulk by the window.

The door is suddenly swung harder than necessary, thumping the glass.

"Hey!"

You look up from the cookies. A man in a suit is waving his phone impatiently.

"I ordered a dozen muffins. Where are they, huh?" he demands.

"Oh, right! Well, you called ten minutes ago, so they won't be ready till six, sir. Can I get you something while you wait?"

He scoffs and stomps to the counter. You almost back down, but you don't; that's exactly what these bullies want.

"This is exactly why no one eats at dinky cafes like yours. You can't even do this!" he fumes, shoving a finger in your face.

"Sir, like I said, the muffins are baking..."

"I know the city's health inspector personally," the man spits viciously. "One call, and I can—"

"Say one more word."

You blink as Jason is suddenly between you and the customer, stood at his full height. He's all muscle and broad shoulders, looming over the guy. You peek around him.

"What the fuck, man?" the angry customer squawks. "Move!"

"No, you move," Jason says, tone lethal. "Sit quietly at a table and wait for your muffins to bake. Then you can thank the nice baker for waiting on your sorry ass and you're not gonna come back. They have far more patience for entitled fucks than I do."

"Fuck you," the man spits.

Jason calmly closes the distance between them and whispers in his ear, hand like a vice around the jerk's shoulder. You watch as he turns pale, eyes growing wider.

"Sound good?" Jason asks pleasantly, all teeth. The man gapes at him.

Wow. Yeah. This is really doing something for you.

The oven dings. You go to retrieve the muffins, packing them as quickly as possible. You give him the box and the man nods.

"Thanks," he mumbles, then scurries out of the store.

Jason turns to you, and it's like looking at a completely different person.

"You okay?" he asks, posture stiff like he's still prepared for a fight.

You nod, a little dazed.

"Yeah. Wow. Jason, I... you didn't have to do that. I mean, thank you for doing it, but..."

"Hey, that guy was a jackass. And if you have trouble with him or anyone else, call me, okay?"

This side of him stuns you. If you didn't know better, you'd think he had this exchange regularly.

"Call you?" you ask, smiling. "How will I call you if I don't have your number?"

He freezes, eyes wide. "Oh. Uh. Um..."

You lean over, elbows on your counter. He watches you. You cup your hand around your mouth, pretending to divulge a secret.

"This is where you, the cute guy who frequents my struggling cafe, gives me your number."

"You think I'm cute?" he asks.

"Devastatingly so," you say, grinning.

He's quiet for a long moment. Your smile starts to dim.

"Did I read this wrong?" you ask. "If I came off too strong..."

"No!" he says a little too loud. Jason winces. "Sorry. No. I... you're... fuck, I'm not good at this. I don't even really drink tea or coffee, to be honest. I just come in to see you."

"You do?"

Jason sighs. "Yeah. Shit. That's creepy, isn't it?"

You laugh and he visibly softens.

"No, Jason," you say warmly. "It's sweet."

"So can I still ask you on a proper date? Not coffee."

You grin. "That would be perfection."

[leaentries]

headcanons | nico hischier

SUMMARY: boyfriend!nico

WARNINGS: some sexual content included

more boyfriend!player headcanons

✮. stares at your lips when you talk because he’s so obsessed with how pretty they are. especially when you lick or bite them? he’s a goner.

✮. loves to grab your thighs while making out in bed. yk just hiking one up on his hip while he grounds down into you? yeah. also loves the feeling of your body weight on top of his, how full and soft you feel.

✮. always make sure to guide you by the small of your back when in public places. never loses you out of his sight if you’re at a bar or somewhere super crowded. he gets worried very easily if he can’t keep tabs on you. not in a weird stalker way, but in a protective way. just to make sure you’re safe.

✮. with this, he also can get jealous semi-easily. he’s not overly jealous, but def the type to barge in and make sure his presence is known if another man tries to hit on you. will not hesitate to defend you, no matter the circumstance.

✮. has been know to throw a few punches on the ice when chirps start flying around from the other team and your name comes into play. does not joke around about you.

✮. always makes sure to watch your drink if you leave to go to the bathroom with your girlfriends at the bar. if it’s just the two of you, he will stand guard outside the bathroom door to make sure no creeps walk in on you.

✮. one word, hugs. his hugs cure everything. and bonus: hugging you is his favorite past time. (other than being inside of you) i’m talking big ole bear hugs that spread warmth and love through your soul. his hugs feel like vanilla and autumn. he’s the definition of a comfort person.

✮. the kind of guy to keep the bathroom stocked with your desired feminine products bc he tracks your period. he downloaded an app so he can help you.

✮. loves to cuddle and hold his big, warm hands on your tummy when you’re cramping. he’ll act like he hates doing it, but 100% loves it. will cater to almost every need/want you have because he just wants you to be happy.

✮. always keeps extra hoodies in his car, bags, suitcases, etc. that way if you ever get cold or want one he is prepared. also keeps little bits and bobs like your favorite lip products, hair ties, lotions, touch-up makeup, and stuff like that in his glove compartment and console.

✮. basically, he’s perfect.