#bc if I’m not perfect 100% of the time

[wewontbesleeping]

$630 on vet bills this time <3

[totallynotgoat]

Proof that Matthew Lillard should play Coyle if there is ever a live action Outlast movie series, in this essay I will detail exactly why this casting choice should happen

[whyoneartheven]

suddenly I have realized my bad habit of procrastinating has become a nearly debilitating fear

[honeyvenommusic]

❗️NEWGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSAN-

[aeide-thea]

still thinking abt the tumblrinx i encountered a while back whose pinned post said they were transmasc… and also demanded that men dni

like—i’m not confused by the convoluted not-like-the-other-boys doublethink that gets you there, i can follow the chain of illogic just fine, but i sure am deeply wearily depressed by it!

[victory-cookies]

sometimes I think I’m getting better at dealing with my fear of failure and stuff and then sometimes I say one thing that’s wrong and I can’t stop thinking about it the whole day

[itsaventingmachine]

They’ve murdered so many people <3

[sqeeebus]

No this literally happened to me recently— except more embarassing

[likeaustralianotcrosby]

No Nuance November

(nuance/additional thoughts located in the tags):

People who decide to become pastors/reverends/preachers/etc. probably shouldn’t have kids.

[norrisainz33]

beauty and brains || cs55

☆ summary: carlos’ long term partner is an engineering student, victoria’s secret model and all around fam favorite. him and a few others surprise her ahead of the singapore gp!

☆ pairing: carlos sainz x model!student!reader

☆ fc & warnings: kelsey merritt & none

☆ requested: yes!! thank you sm for the request and for your patience🤍

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

ynuser has posted to their story

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user1: beauty and brains fr

user2: you are everything

yourbff: i can’t even imagine the stress of exams and the show

ynuser: i am so stressed but we shall persevere 😭 last time i ever have to do this!!

yourbff: you have GOT THIS GIRL! you gonna be a graduate so SOON!!!!!

ynuser: going to need some drinks after this is all over

yourbff: say less baby

carlossainz55: my gorgeous girl i can’t wait to see you 🤍

ynuser: i can’t wait to see you in singapore mi amor 🤍

carlossainz55: counting down the minutes. i am so incredibly proud of you

ynuser: 🥹🥹🥹🥹 don’t make me cry carlos

alexandrasaintmleux: you’re going to crush these exams mon ami

ynuser: thank you best friend 😘

user3: vs fashion show?! that is huge! im so proud of you 😭

user4: omg i’m going to the singapore gp too!!! i hope i see you

user5: you are the blueprint

carlossainz55 has posted to his story

[i am so proud of you my love. the sky is the limit and this only the beginning]

view all story replies

user3: YAYYYY CONGRATS TO OUR FAVORITE PRINCESS

user5: how she managed to get a degree and be a full time model at the same time is so impressive

landonorris: yessssss that’s our girl let’s gooooooo

carlossainz55: could not be more proud!

landonorris: i am having the hardest time keeping my mouth shut abt the fact that we’re going to her show. she keeps talking about how much she misses you and all of us

carlossainz55: if you tell her i’ll drive you straight off track in singapore

landonorris: understood

user6: carlos are you going to the vs show??????

ynuser: i love you so much 😭 thank you for the flowers, im so glad to have gotten them this morning. i wish you could be here!

carlossainz55: it is the least i could do!! i love you more than words could express. i’ll see you soon 🤍

lilymhe: you should’ve gotten her more flowers

carlossainz55: 100 roses is not enough?

lilymhe: nothing is enough when you’re dating the most perfect woman in the world

carlossainz55: i suppose you got me there

scuderiaferrari: we are so proud of y/n!!

user8: begging to know if you’re going to make an appearance at the victoria secret fashion show king

user10: simp ☝🏻

user11: you’ve moved me with this carlos

ynuser has made a post

liked by carlossainz55, carmenmundt, victoriassecret, judebellingham, erlinghaaland, and 764,238 others

ynuser: new york city - it’s time ��

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user6: ahhhhh it’s vs time!!!

user8: gUYS is carlos going to be there to support her 😭

user12: i feel like no bc singapore is right around the corner

user8: ugh yeah true but this is so important and he already missed graduation 😭

user12: ik!!! crossing fingers he can make it

user10: the footballers in her likes lol

carmenmundt: so effortlessly beautiful

ynuser: that’s you carmen 😘

carlossainz55: that’s MY girl

ynuser: yes it is 🤍

user9: i’m literally so excited to watch the show later

victoriassecret: can’t wait to see you later y/n 🩷

yourbff: so glad to be here with you 🫶🏻

ynuser: you’re my rock

oscarpiastri: time to shine

ynuser: 💎

user10: that’s our engineering graduate!!! look at her go!!!

f1gossip has made a post

liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, user6 and 12,285 others

f1gossip: 🚨 breaking: carlos sainz, lando norris, charles leclerc, george russell, carmen mundt, and alexandra saint mleux have all been spotted arriving at the victoria’s secret fashion show in support of y/n y/l/n who will be walking in the show tonight

view all 135 comments

user12: user8 he’s there 🥹

user8: i fully screamed this news made me so happy

user12: we love to see the support 😭

user15: no bc i’m about to cry. what do you mean all of them flew out to new york when they’re supposed to be in singapore in 3 days to support their girl y/n/n?????

user22: no because they clearly love her so much im sick

user16: this is an elite pull by y/n

user4: this is everything to me i hope you understand

user19: praying this brings good karma to carlos in singapore

user18: y/n is so loved

user8: she really is 😭

user5: things i will never shut up about: this

lando.jpg has made a post

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lando.jpg: even though carlos told me to close my eyes more times than i could count at the show, i wouldn’t have wanted to spend 24 hours in nyc with anyone else. congrats to y/n - we all love you muppet

view all 888 comments

user3: he revived lando.jpg to congratulate his friend this is so sweet

user55: CARLOS TOLD ME TO CLOSE MY EYES IM CRACKING UP

carlossainz55: thanks for coming with me mate! and yes don’t look at my girlfriend

lando.jpg: my bad mate! i forgot i went to the fashion show to not look at any of the fashion

ynuser: carlos 🙄

carlossainz55: 🤭

user9: who is gonna tell carlos that his girl is a model and it’s literally her job to be looked at in crying

ynuser: landito!!!! i can’t express how happy i was to see you all there. thank you for coming my sweet sweet bestie

lando.jpg: y/n/nito!!!! ofc always happy to support you

user8: the way carlando and y/ncarlando are so close is so incredibly important to me

user43: the second pic of y/n and carlos just called me single in 55 different languages

lando.jpg: same

user43: LANDO

oscarpiastri: lily and i wish we could have been there!!! still so proud of you ynuser

ynuser: you were there in spirit, i felt it

use13: i’m not gonna be normal abt this, sorry in advance everyone

ynuser has made a post

liked by carlossainz55, georgerussell63, scuderiaferrari, sabrinacarpenter, zendaya, carmenmudnt, and 976,374 others

ynuser: last night was unreal, a total dream come true. ever since i started modeling it was a dream of mine to walk in the victoria’s secret fashion show and i did it!! but what made the night even sweeter was all the amazing people who came to support me. to my carlos, thank you for making that happen 🤍 see you all in singapore!! i need a nap 😴

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user2: you were radiant

user5: the peoples princess fr

carlossainz55: anything for you mi angel

ynuser: i’m the luckiest girl in the world

carmenmundt: i’m so glad i got to be there!!! you are a STAR

georgerussell63: what carmen said!

ynuser: thank you carmen and georgie!! i love you both 🫶🏻

alexandrasaintmleux: proud is an understatement

ynuser: 🥹 i’m so thankful for you

user7: she is the moment

user10: i hope you get the best sleep of your life on that trip to singapore

sabrinacarpenter: gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous

ynuser: 🤍

user9: i’m going to miss you when i scroll

ynuser has posted on their story

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user3: you need a rest ms girl idk how you’re still standing after exams and the vs show and now traveling to singapore

lilymhe: yayyy lemme come find you

ynuser: yesss please!!! i’m with carmen and alex

lilymhe: yay yay yay yay

user6: praying you bring him good luck today! i am SICK of the dutch national anthem

yourbff: did you sleep the whole flight?

ynuser: omg yes thank GOD. pays to have a bf with a private jet

yourbff; GOOD you needed that

lilyzneimer: i’m so glad you’re here with us 🫶🏻 i missed you

ynuser: i missed you more lils

lilyzneimer: truly not possible

user5: i’m here too!!! hoping to see you ms queen

user9: thank god you’re back in the paddock i missed seeing pics of you there

ynuser has made a post

liked by carlossainz55, scuderiaferrari, landonorris, zendaya, yourbff, lilymhe, and 564,133 others

ynuser: carlos sainz!!! el matador!!!!! oh my god i am speechless!! you did that baby 🤍

view all 876 comments

user55: CARLOOOOSSSSSSSS

user6: carlos sainz winner of the singapore gp!!!! breaker of the mv win streak!!!

user8: tell me you all saw the clip of her crying while watching him on the podium

user2: might have been the cutest thing i’d ever seen

user8: i hope a love like that finds me

carlossainz55: you brought me some luck mi princessa 🤍

ynuser: no luck needed with a drive like that 😍

landonorris: i made the photo dump 🥹

ynuser: of course you did mr podium man

user9: carlando podium is so important to me

yourbff: congrats carlos!!! truly amazing stuff from you

carlossainz55: gracias y/bff

scuderiaferrari: ❤️❤️❤️

user11: i never thought i would care so much about vroom vroom cars but y/n you have shown me the light

user10: oh i love you two so much

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

a/n: thank you for reading!! likes and reblogs appreciated. i do be slow af on here with these requests,, my apologies y’all

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction

© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform

[gyuswhore]

Cherry Picker [teaser]

part of the winter with you collab hosted by @camandemstudios!

Choi Seungcheol x reader

est. word count: um 30k (?)

est. release date: January 10th

warnings: Hockey player! Seungcheol, figure skater! reader, *deep breath* ENEMIES TO LOVERS, angst, fluff, smut [MINORS DNI], more to be added in final post

synopsis: Cherry Picking [ice hockey]: a manoeuver in which a player, the floater, literally loafs (spends time in idleness) or casually skates behind the opposing team's unsuspecting defencemen while they are in their attacking zone. There wasn't much you counted on in life; just your skates, your drive and how it felt to win. And of course, your local ice rink, that is now being colonised by an obnoxious hockey team in all their big, loud, stinking glory. Neither does it help that one particular red donned specimen forgets to leave his cherry picking on the ice.

‼️ JOIN THE TAGLIST by sending an ask or replying under this post. AGE INDICATORS ON YOUR BLOG ARE NECESSARY. ‼️

[a/n]: I first wrote hockey player Cheol quite literally a full year ago and I promised to expand on the concept, so here we are!!! im so excited for y'all to read this bc im genuinely putting my heart and ass into this fic. lmk your thoughts about the teaser!!! please remember to support the rest of the fics coming out in association with the winter with you collab, all of these writers are working so hard to bring you fics you're going to love 🥹

masterlist

The ice is empty, mostly. Placing your laptop in the sound booth and your shoes under the benches, you step foot on the ice. They’re there, on the other end, sitting on the cold ice with their jerseys still on, eating what looks like cups of dippin dots. 

Seungcheol and Jeonghan, you remember from Lorelai’s squealing, either don’t notice you on the ice, or simply choose not to. Because it’s easy as you skate up to them, gaining speed from across the rink, you slide to a stop, sending a perfect spray of ice from your skates, directly into their cups. 

Seungcheol’s full spoon hangs mid air, halfway to his mouth, now garnished with ice shavings. 

“Thought you’d have the respect to keep the dippin dots out of this,” Jeonghan comments, disbelief in his eyes as he looks up at you. 

“Ice is booked.” 

“What time?” Seungcheol asks. Your gaze flickers to the left side of his face, a nasty bruise blooming purple and blue that you hadn’t noticed before. 

“Two sixteen. It’s nearly fifteen minutes past.”

“You’re only one person.” 

“And?”

“And…you have about 97% of the rink to yourself.”

You raise your brows, hands on your hips. “But I booked 100% of it. So I’m gonna need that plane of ice you’re currently sitting on.” 

“What if I don’t move?” Seungcheol presses. It’s menacing, the way he looks at you, like he’s a dragon only waiting to be provoked. 

“We’ll find out another day,” Jeonghan sings before you can snap back, grabbing onto the collar of Seungcheol’s red and white jersey to yank him up. He continues to glare as he obliges with his friend’s tugs, nearly as angry as you are. “Let’s go, sport.”

You watch as they walk to the exit of the ice, realising they’re wearing their shoes instead of their skates. 

Jeonghan calls from the benches, right before he and Seungcheol move out of view. “Trash those for us, would you?” 

Their half eaten dippin dots cups, with the ice now melting on them remains on the floor of the rink. 

Once again, the unexplainable urge to kick something befalls you, hearing them laugh and talk from far away as they exit the rink behind their long gone teammates. 

You give in, swinging a leg over to kick the cups and spoons, dippin dots and plastic scattering across the ice. It’s another sprawl of mess you’ll have to clean up, but it feels good to ruin something of his, no matter how inconsequential. 

The empty rink is only encouraging you, needing to scream so loud the plastic barriers crack and break. You know it’s impossible, but that doesn’t stop the urge. 

You channel it into the most aggressive warmups on ice you’ve ever done. Your spins are faster, your jumps higher. But this also means you crash heavier, fall harder. 

It’s then, sitting on the bench to take a break, breathing so heavy you can hardly sip your water, you find an unmistakable headline on your browser home page. 

Everything stops. 

!HOT TOPIC! 

SEAT AT RISK FOR SVT HOCKEY TEAM’S SHINING STAR? Read All About It Here!

[scottiexmariee]

Sorry if this is a weird request, but I just need it so badly bc of the misty invasion card with Zayne. My request is how the LADs would act with an MC who is apart of the big tittie committee, if you know what I mean. And what their reaction would be to them wearing low necklines are crop tops and stuff. Thank you so much

Not weird at all. I gotchu <3

Big Titty Committee

Pairings: Xavier x Reader | Zayne x Reader | Rafayel x Reader | Sylus x Reader

Warnings: NSFW. Suggestive AF. Reader has massive knockers. No explicit smut, but it is heavily implied. Starving Zayne, flustered Rafayel.

Word Count: 2.2k

Masterlist

☆ 100% using your honkers as a pillow

☆ Plops his lil head down on your tig ol bitties and hes out COLD

☆ 10/10 occasionally pretends to be tired just to lay his head down for the squish

Xavier would give just about anything to spend his free time with you in a tangle of limbs, laying wherever was cozy, basking in the perfect combination of warmth and comfort. He could conk out anywhere, but he definitely had his favorite spots. 

On the couch with you wrapped in his arms, back pressed snugly to his chest. 

His head in your lap, location unimportant. 

But his favorite?

Using your breasts as a pillow. The warmth?? The squish?? Heavenly. The feeling of resting his head on your deliciously plump chest was borderline euphoric. Sometimes, it was hard not to drool, the combination of your chest and the way your fingers ran through his hair nearly making his brain stop working every. single. time. 

He’d had a long day today, and he was very tired. His thoughts on the elevator ride to your floor consisted of one thing and one thing only: curling up with you and getting some much needed rest. 

When he entered your apartment with the key you’d given him, he was not expecting to see you in a nightgown that was so low-cut you’d likely flash him if you moved too quickly. He didn’t react outwardly, but it took him a moment to recover. 

You’d embraced him in a loving hug, blissfully unaware that your chest pressing against his was absolutely having more of an effect on him than usual, all thanks to the nightgown. He managed to play it cool, keeping up a facade of innocence, for now. 

Xavier was patient. Xavier was also sly enough to wait until the right moment.

The two of you had curled up in bed, ready to call it a night. Xavier had oh-so-casually rolled over and placed his head on your chest, nuzzling up to you and relishing in the feeling of warmth pressing against his cheek. As expected, the warmth went straight south. 

“Man,” He murmured, opening an eye to peek up at you. The teasing tone in his voice was very evident, matched by an almost imperceptible smile. “It’s a little chilly in here. I think I should be closer,”

You let out an amused huff of air. “How can you possibly get any closer?”

Xavier sat up, staring down at your nightgown. If it weren’t for the subtle glimmer of mischief in his eyes, he would have appeared completely serious.

“I’ve read that clothes dilute warmth,” He said, eyes flitting from your nightgown to your face, “I think…I’d like my pillow to be a bit warmer.”

That nightgown very quickly became one of your favorite bedtime choices.

❅ okay I’m gonna say it 

❅ You can’t tell me Zayne isn’t a breast guy

❅ ^^ the way he gets all greedy with your chest/neck in the Hidden Motive card?  HELLO??

❅ if you tease him with something low cut he’s going to TOWN on those babies the second he gets the chance 

❅ Face all cozy & warm and pressed up in there? WELCOME HOME DOCTOR ZAYNE

You didn’t know what you were in for when you’d chosen to accompany Zayne to an afterparty for an awards ceremony. You’d chosen a simple, classy cocktail dress that matched the color of his tie. You’d sent Zayne a picture of it on the hanger, and he’d cleared it, agreeing that the dress was nice. When the dress was on, you realized the neckline was a little lower than it looked on the hanger. Cleavage was unavoidable in certain styles, but the dress was still pretty, so you doubled down and wore it anyway.

Zayne accepted very quickly that it was going to be an excruciatingly long night the second he came to pick you up, his throat going uncomfortably dry as soon as you exited your apartment. You’d gotten into his car with a gorgeous smile, smelling ridiculously enticing, chest looking absolutely heavenly in that dress, completely unaware that Zayne was fighting for his life in the drivers’ seat. 

Zayne is a very disciplined man. You, however, had him battling to keep his eyes on the road for the duration of the drive–voice coming out slightly strained when he spoke and knuckles white from the intense grip on the steering wheel. It hadn’t even been 10 minutes.

Zayne’s focus was not all there at the party, either. He’d done his best to distract himself by mingling, but he received a harsh reality check every time he caught a glimpse of you in that dress that was making him feel downright sinful. The fact that you were blissfully unaware of his internal crisis almost made the entire situation worse. At one point, he even snuck off to the bathroom to splash cool water on his face, desperately trying to shock the indecent thoughts out of his system.

After three torturous hours of Zayne doing his best to look anywhere but your chest, the party was over. You’d thought his pace on the walk back to the car was a little quicker than usual, but you assumed he was just ready to be off of his feet for the night. 

Zayne’s struggle only heightened when the two of you had gotten back into the car, the close proximity resembling a match dangerously close to gasoline. His composure was hanging by a thread.

He made it back to his house. Barely.

Once the two of you were inside, the door had barely shut before he had you backed into the wall, lips already attacking your neck and chest, placing hot, open-mouthed kisses that left fire in their wake. The usually composed and stoic Doctor Zayne was no longer in the building.

“You don’t have to be so intense,” You murmured, although you really didn’t mind. 

He pulled back and looked at you, his eyes smoldering and nearly making you shudder. “How could I not be, when you look like that?” 

Zayne’s composure and restraint had finally snapped.

While Zayne continued his greedy mission on your neck and chest, silently cursing that dress for existing, you were already planning out the next time you would wear it. 

❀ absolutely a flustered, stuttering mess (at least until he gets used to it)

❀ fighting for his life to look anywhere else, simply for the sake of his sanity

It was ungodly hot in Linkon. It was peak summer, and the temperature had reached a high of 102 degrees(f). It was so hot that your apartment building couldn’t keep up with everyone using their cooling units at once, which had caused the worst case scenario: a power outage. Sometimes, not even technology as advanced as it was could keep up with a heat wave. You’d changed into the absolute bare minimum, a tank top and shorts, but it was still too much.

After only 45 minutes of sitting in a hot, dark apartment, a beautiful idea popped in your head: Rafayel. 

Not only was he right by the water, his studio almost definitely hadn’t lost power. After a quick phone call to make sure he was there, you headed there.

Rafayel had nearly fallen over when he opened the door to see you standing there. Your tank top left very little to imagination, and the cool air from his studio suddenly felt nonexistent on his rapidly heating skin. He nearly slammed the door in your face out of pure panic.

“W–you–get inside!” He all but dragged you in, rapidly searching for the nearest thing he could use to block your chest from his view. He was willing to rip a curtain off the rod if it meant he could breathe easier for a few seconds.

“Rafayel! What are you doing?” 

His saving grace was quickly located: A jacket he’d recently tossed on the back of a chair and forgotten about. He yanked it off and shoved it at you. “Put those away!” 

You scoffed. “Dude. It’s hot!” You swatted his hand away, the motion causing a tasteful jiggle in your chest. It had not gone unnoticed by Rafayel, who whipped his head away so quickly it almost looked like he’d gotten slapped. “It’s like 100 degrees out, I’m not putting on a jacket,”

Rafayel had found a spot on the wall to stare at, hoping his face and ears weren’t as pink as they felt. “You went outside like that? Are you trying to cause an accident?” 

“I–you seriously can’t handle a little bit of boob, Rafayel?” 

You were laughing now, but Rafayel was not. His cheeks were darker than you’d ever seen them, accompanied by a singular bead of sweat dripping down his forehead. The man was stressed.

No, Rafayel could not handle a little bit of boob. Not when they looked like that, anyway. Not when it was you attached to them, and not when they were that nice. It was simply unfair, in his mind. Rafayel was currently a man that was parched, and your chest was a very tempting, cool glass of water. 

He’d gained enough consciousness to turn the temperature way lower, doing everything he could to remember how to breathe until his studio cooled down enough that you put on the jacket. 

Slowly, his heart rate returned to normal, and his cheeks finally stopped burning for the first time since you’d arrived. You, on the other hand, were just thankful to be out of the heat. 

Not long after Rafayel had finally felt normal again, he cast a glance over his shoulder to see what you were doing. You were leaning against the windowsill, longingly looking out at the water. When you felt his gaze, you voiced your thoughts. 

“I brought a bathing suit. We should go swimming,” 

The tank top had been bad enough. But seeing you in a bikini? Too soon.

He shook his head vigorously, nearly tripping over the coffee table to come shut the curtains, desperately trying to block the ocean from your view so you could no longer be tempted.

“Can’t,” He said, his voice coming out raspy, “too many sharks today. Guess you’ll just have to stay in here with the jacket on,” 

You hung out until your power was restored. Thankfully, it had cooled down outside as well. Rafayel nearly collapsed from relief when you finally left. 

Unfortunately for him, he would never be able to get that image out of his head.

⟡ This man worships every inch of you as is, so he’d be more than happy to have a lil extra to appreciate

⟡ 100% getting custom clothing tailored to accentuate//flatter your figure, even if it’s just for him to look at

⟡ Shamelessly checks you out no matter what you’re wearing, but it’s 100x worse if you have some tasteful cleavage goin’ on

Sylus didn’t even attempt to hide where he was looking during dinner tonight. The man was shameless, and you both knew it. In fact, he was making it a point to make sure you knew where he was looking, too. A not-so-subtle warning on what was to come. He knew how to appreciate what was right in front of him, and he did so with a smug smirk on his face as he listened to you talk about anything but the obvious. 

How could he not look? You were already a threat to his ability to keep his hands to himself on a good day, but the dress you were currently wearing was pushing his limits. It was cruel, like dangling a steak in front of a starving dog. That dog is definitely lunging for the steak.

With a slow, casual sip of his wine, his eyes finally found your face long enough for him to ask a question. “Are you enjoying yourself, sweetie?” 

You shrugged, the motion absolutely causing a noticeable jiggle. “Yeah, dinner is nice. We should come here again.”

His eyes flitted back down, eyeing the deep neckline of your dress. “That’s not what I meant, kitten,”

You knew exactly what he meant. You were the biggest tease in the entire solar system at this very moment, intentionally picking a dress that had your titties looking like they were sculpted by the Gods. ‘Casual’ dinner date? As if. ‘Tempting Sylus’ should have been your title at this point. 

“I seem to remember you were the one that ordered this dress,” You responded, doing everything in your power not to smirk. He had, in fact, been the one to pick out that dress. However, he had seriously underestimated how good your boobs would look in it. He was currently paying the price for that.  

Sylus looked back to your face, seriously considering ripping the dress off of you and burning it after he was done…with other things, bystanders be damned. That dress was nothing more than a distraction, and he couldn’t have distractions. 

“Is that so?” He drawled, leaning back in his chair. He took another quick glance down, then took another sip of his wine in an attempt to ease the increasing dryness in his throat. 

After a moment, he leaned forward with a devilish grin, looking you straight in the eyes. 

“Since I’m the one that ordered it for you,” He began, his voice a sultry purr, “does that mean I also have the pleasure of taking it off?”

[moonstruckme]

hihi mae!! in honor of the season, could i request reader convincing bodygaurd!james to carve pumpkins together. and it’s basically just him on the brink of cardiac arrest bc reader is using the biggest butcher knife possible, like an absolute menace, and he’s 100% convinced she’s gonna saw her fingers off lol. thx for considering ♡

Thank you lovely!!

bodyguard!James x fem!reader ♡ 814 words

James has half a mind to find you a plastic knife and let you make do with that. It might take you a while longer, yeah, but at least he wouldn’t have to feel every muscle in his body tense each time you stab the knife you’ve picked through your pumpkin. 

“I thought you were doing a cat,” he says, watching you push another piece out from what will be your pumpkin’s mouth. 

“I am.” 

“Why does it have fangs?” 

“It just felt like it should.” You shrug. “Sort of spookier that way, right? Maybe it’s a vampire cat.” 

“And here I thought it was going to be cute.” 

You smile at him. “No, Jamie. That’s yours.” 

With all his attention on making sure you don’t slash yourself, James has made pitifully little progress on his own pumpkin. He’s only managed to cut out the nose, but when he’s done it’s going to be a classic, smiling jack-o-lantern, except with hearts for eyes. You’d beamed and called it fitting when James told you his plan. He’s been ruminating over what you could have meant by that ever since. 

For his own project he’s using a small paring knife, mostly because he’d hoped you’d follow his example (what wishful thinking that was) but also because James doesn’t tend to do well with precision and he didn’t see a big knife helping matters. You, however, have selected what may be the largest knife he’s ever seen. He can’t comprehend what a beast that size would even be necessary for in a kitchen, much less for carving a pumpkin. Your unskilled grip on the handle makes the hairs on his arms stand on end. 

“I think we ought to find you a different tool,” he tries again. 

“James, you worry too much.” You roll your eyes, hardly looking as you shove your knife through the flesh of your pumpkin. He flinches. “This one is working fine.” 

“Right, I just feel like—” You do it again. James worries he’s developing an eye twitch. “—like possibly I’m not doing my job by letting you handle a weapon like that.”

“It’s not a weapon, it’s a kitchen knife.” 

Again, not a clue what in the kitchen could require a knife that large. 

“I think its capacity for injury is the same regardless, angel. Let me have it, please? That way I can keep working here and you can keep all of your fingers.” 

“You need to chill out,” you say, unnervingly serene for someone who seems to James on the precipice of life-changing injury. “This knife is the perfect size for how big I want my eyes to be. If I have to saw using another one, they won’t look as clean.” 

“Is that really worth risking your hand for?” 

“Yes. I want the triangles to look nice when I stick them onto the top as its ears.” 

“How are you going to do that?” 

“With toothpicks.” 

Right. A more moderate risk of injury, for sure, but James is now too high-strung to imagine anything other than disastrous outcomes between you and sharp objects. He imagines you skewering one of your lovely fingertips on a toothpick, the surprised look on your face when it happens. His own heart bursting straight out of his chest from overexertion. 

“Maybe I could do that part for you,” James suggests weakly. 

“Shit.” You’re looking into your hollow pumpkin. “The eye won’t come out.” 

“Let me try.” 

“No, I’ve got it.” 

Before he can stop you, you’re sticking your knife inside your pumpkin. It comes spearing out the other side a moment later, the triangle of one eye impaled on its tip. James chokes on a gasp as you stop it within inches of your abdomen. 

“There,” you say satisfiedly. 

James makes a strangled sound. “No,” he says, seizing your wrist and carefully removing the knife from your hand. “No, I can’t do it. We’re swapping.” 

“What?” You look at him with wide, wounded eyes. It’s adorable, compelling even, but James won’t allow himself to budge. “But your knife is so lame.” 

James guffaws. He feels half delirious. This is it, he thinks. His love for you has finally driven him insane. 

“It’s not lame.” 

You pout. “It’s tiny.” 

“Sweetheart.” James sets the knife down to hold your face in both hands. You go still with surprise. “If you stab yourself with your giant knife, I won’t be around to get fired. I’ll die of heartbreak. Do you understand?” 

You roll your eyes at him, but you’re softening. “You really like my hands that much?” 

“I like all of you. In tact. You’re perfect as you are.” 

“Fine, whatever.” You pull your face from his grasp, picking up the smaller knife. “I know you secretly just wanted to be the one with the bigger knife, though.” 

“Yeah, you’ve caught me. Can’t get anything past you.”

[neuvistar]

ASS, TITS OR THIGHS?

— featuring ┊satoru gojo, toji fushiguro, suguru geto, kento nanami, choso kamo x fem!reader (all separate)

— warnings / content warnings ┊suggestive obvi, not proofread oops, cunnilingus, uhm uhm use of nicknames, riding, mentions of titfucking, overall suggestive content | 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

— a/n ┊jujutsu kaisen hyperfixation got the best of me guys i betrayed u all and accidentally became a gojo + sukuna liker i’m sorry. apology coming soon /j 😔

𖦹 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎

let’s be real here.. i know damn well this guy is definitely a tit man. cmon it’s just this feeling in me that can sense this guy’s love for titties, he’s the number one tit lover guys im telling you! i bet gojo is def the type to stand behind you and tower over you) at random times and slowly slip his large hands into your shirt, squeezing your tits like it’s the most casual thing for him! of course you wouldn’t mind.. so you would just carry on with whatever you were doing. up until he nuzzles against your nape, inhaling your scent as his fingers tug and pinch at your sensitive nipples, smirking against your skin when he hears you whimper at his touch. this guy makes your head spin sometimes it’s actually insane. “ooh. they’re soft.” “that’s how they’re supposed to be, dumbass” ngl i feel like gojo would love your tits for the dumbest reason ever, like since he’s rlly rlly tall i feel like he would like your tits all because “they’re easier to reach” LMFAO he’s so silly! this guy probably love’s embarrassing you sometimes cuz he would grab your tits literally ANYWHERE (if ur fine w it ofc) in conclusion.. he loves seeing you all embarrassed whenever he brings a hand to cup your tits in his hand!

gojo here loves stuffing his face in your tits, he doesn’t care.. it’s the ocean he wants to dive into 2nite lol! anyways sometimes during sweet little cuddle sessions he would straight up pull you up by your hips and press himself closer against your body before leaning down to drown his face in the softness your tits, cmon.. can you blame him? but anyways! gojo loves your titties regardless.. big or small, small or big, he’ll still be willing to shove his face in ‘em! he definitely has a thing for titfucking, you just.. look so hot laying there all sweet for him, squeezing your tits against his hard cock while he thrusts in between them, trying his best not to overdo it. “f—fuck.. they’re so soft.. so perfect. no one has ever fucked your tits like this like i have right, angel? mhm? look at them.. s’pretty and all mine.” he pinched your nipples rather harshly, forcing a whine to leave your pretty lips. “all mine, yeah?”

𖦹 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈 𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎

look me in the eyes and tell me toji fushiguro doesn’t look like the ultimate ass man ever, cmon tell me! are we really surprised tho? are we REALLY surprised? he looks like the biggest ass man known to mankind it’s not even funny at this point he loves ass he mfing does i tell you. this old hag probably steals a few glances at your ass from time to time whenever you wear a skirt.. or a dress for special occasions, toji cant control himself bro it’s not his fault you had allat back there.. it’s not his fault for looking it was an accident! (no it was not and you knew it) ngl the first time he caught a glimpse of your ass he probably said “damn.” so loudly, loud and clear for you to hear. “damn.” you heard a familiar voice behind you, glancing over your shoulder to see your boyfriend’s intense gaze at your bottom. “i knew your ass was nice but i didn’t know it was this nice.. damnn.” “oh shut up, will you?” idk abt u guys but toji is probably the type to slap it while you walk past him sometimes.. like it’s so unexpected you just straight up flinch and glare up at him, rubbing it to try and ease the pain bc i bet his slaps HURT sometimes

toji 100% a fan of you taking it from the back.. he loves it! i mean do i need to explain further? though he loves seeing your facial expressions to see just how well he fucks you but i feel like he prefers to see your ass and well-defined back. you have this man in a TRANCE. no matter how hard he tries to focus on you, his eyes always manage to wander down to your rear. he loves pounding into you mercilessly like there’s no tomorrow just to see the jiggle physics of yo ass because gahhh dayummmm he loves the way it moves, my guy probably spanks too i’m telling u this dude loves ass, especially yours.. it’s an unhealthy obsession at this point idk what to tell u 🤷‍♀️

𖦹 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔 𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎

suguru def a thigh man, i don’t even know my reasoning but he just screams thigh man.. like he seems like the type to love them ykwim? like he just loves diving into them any time he gets, holding your thighs against his hands while he pushes them to your chest. he def loves eating you out just so he can feel your thighs caging around his head, he loves how soft they are, how warm they feel whenever he gives them a little squeeze. personally i bet this fucker is probably a lil crazy about your thighs, just a little bit! whenever you sit on his face, he pushes you even more against his mouth. his tongue is talented that’s all i have to say, suguru doesn’t give two fucks if he can’t breath against your overstimulated pussy, he wants you to crush him with your pretty thighs thighs.. he wants your thighs to be the last thing he feels + sees before he suffocates and dies a happy man! suguru would keep you spread on his face, not caring about anything else in the world but you and your plushy thighs around his head. buddy probably eats you out like it’s his last, squeezing and helping your thighs trap his face in between them. god, he loves your thighs

suguru wrapped his lips around your pussy again, forcefully pulling you even closer until his nose was bumping against your clit, was that even possible? “s—su.. suguru!” one orgasm, then the next.. and the next after that, he hasn’t even came up for air.. you were worried at how much your thighs caged around his head, worrying about suffocating further. you tried pulling yourself up, looking down at him as your lips quivered. “suguru you okay?—“ no. he was most definitely not! he was struggling 2 breath but he didn’t give TWO FUCKS!! “your thighs.. feel so warm around me. sit back down, princess. i’m not done.. ‘wanna feel your pretty thighs against me again.” “.. but are you sure? you were struggling to breathe i could feel it—“ “sit, princess. i said sit. do i need to repeat myself?” no siiiirrr 🙅‍♀️

𖦹 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈

ngl out of everyone here nanami is the most “normal” and tamed if this question ever comes along, my guy would probably answer with something like “they’re just body parts. is there even a reason to pay attention to female assets?” uhm. no obviously not but they’re hot ++ the question is important smartass. tbh i feel like nanami wouldn’t really care, he just.. appreciates you for being there by his side, he wouldn’t really care much about your body and what he likes about it, cuz babe he loves everything about you! such a sweetheart! but in all seriousness, i feel like he’d really be into your tits for some reason.. i mean come on! sometimes if he’s feeling a lil extra EXTRA bold be would sneak a few glances towards your cleavage, swallowing the lump in his throat as he notices you didn’t have a bra on that day. nanami would literally fight for his life and try his best to restrain himself n his desires every single time he would see you in any outfit that shows your cleavage.

i bet there was this one time you guys were about to cook together n you needed help with the apron so he helped you tie it, but then his hand accidentally brushed against your breast LMFAO. poor guy would realize slowly after and start contemplating his whole life and life decisions, apologizing to you sincerely and that he didn’t mean to do that! “kento seriously it’s fine, i don’t mind! if you wanted to touch them, you could’ve said so.” “i told you it was an accident, love. it’s not like that at all.” you chuckled at him before grabbing his hand and slowly bringing it close to your tits, making him touch em as the soft skin of your tits melt into his palm. “soft right?” you cooed, wincing a little when you felt his thumb brushing against your hardened nipple. “..mm.” cmon kento ⁉️ don’t be in denial! accept yourself as a certified tittie liker!

𖦹 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎

tbh this guy could love all three of these, like there is not a single part of you he loves more than the other but if he really had to choose.. he would probably be fond of your ass, making him a semi ass man despite him.. probably liking all three! but then again.. lemme just say.. i know an ass/tit man when i see one (n he looks like one but my pick for today is ass) poor choso probably caught himself looking at your ass for a whole minute and he had to slap himself for a second to get himself back to reality, he can’t help it! your body is so hypnotic to him. i bet he’s also the type to give your bottom little taps and pokes whenever he needs something from you (damn) ++ my guy is probably a fan of you taking it from the back also, just like toji! listen listen okay. listen. reverse cowgirl position. lemme tell u he gets SOOO flustered whenever you ride him with your back turned against him, bouncing yourself on his cock while he can’t help but look down at your ass and how much it moved (lolz!) and how well your cunt was sucking him in! choso probably the type to bring a hand up to pull your hair, running his fingers through your hair as he tugs your back to him with your back arched, planting soft chaste kisses on your neck

choso doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable in anyway so he absolutely refuses to even plant a lil smack to your ass, even just a soft one! he would hold himself back n wouldn’t do it unless you wanted him too! if you do.. expect a lot of them coming your way because i bet he loves seeing your ass jiggle LIKEEE ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY NO MORE i bet his cock would twitch inside you every single fucking time he would see the jiggle physics of your ass! like i said.. he’s a fan of you taking it from the back! jiggle physics go absolutely craaaaazy 😝🙏

[victory-cookies]

started playing in stars and time and y’all. it’s really good

[himezoro]

HI, i’m just soo in love with the way you portray zoro so i was thinking about a request (only if u want to, ofcc)

imagine reader having feelings for zoro and be reciprocated (but reader still doesn’t know bc zoro’s not the best at expressing feelings) they’re in wano and with the way hiyori treats zoro reader thinks zoro likes hiyori so reader puts some distance between them and zoro and gets closer to law (bc i think they’re kinda similar up to some point) AND ZORO NOTICES IT.

that’s it for my request, kinda specific lol, HAVE A NICE DAY and feel free to take as much time as you need if you decide to give it a go <3

i’m so sorry for the wait, but istg I really wanted to give it a go as you said!! <3 the reader is set to be the crew’s strategist/scholar, just like in this one shot (though this request is not meant to be the following of the later!). the events I’m describing are not 100% accurate with the exact way wano happened (in terms of strategy meetings etc etc) but I felt more comfortable this way!! i didn't know if you wanted a good or bad ending, so i went for the first option to compensate with the long wait :( i hope you enjoy it <3

wc: 1.7 ish

stolen times

Saying you only had yourself to blame and your sole eyes to cry, was an understatement.

As the crew’s strategist, you offered to split at Zou in order for everyone to attend the two issues at end: saving Sanji, and the people of Wano. Because of your valuable knowledge and abilities, you stayed alongside Law, Robin, Franky, and Zoro, while the rest of the crew left for Whole Cake island. Considering the matter at hand, everyone had to stick to their role, even if it meant pretending not to know one another.

Even if it meant pretending not to know Roronoa Zoro.

Saying you knew Roronoa Zoro was also an understatement. After all the time you spent alongside the swordsman, it felt like you understood him pretty well, without as much as a word. You understood his thrive to perfect his craft, his dedication, his patience regarding improvement, his need for meditation and peace, his oath. You knew his favorite mug to drink from, the way he likes his rice, his favorite sleeping position. You could hear the laughters he would let while talking to Luffy, see the protective hold he would have on Chopper while walking, see the flex of his strong built, the blink of his dark eye, the bite on his lower lip.

Everything from Roronoa Zoro was framed in the back of your eye. You loved, admired the swordsman. Your relationship with him was pleasant, even though it lacked the romance you so craved for. He would often stay by your side while you worked in your office claiming it was a quiet space and ask if you ate before working, sit next to you during meetings and meals, lay a hand on your waist when walking down the dock, and always, always, look your way before getting into a fight with an enemy. Other than that, nothing was truly shared between the two of you, and because of Zoro’s silence regarding his feelings, your mind never allowed itself to wander through the possibilities of his heart, while the later would try its best concealing your desires.

So pretending not to know about the way another woman was treating him and tending to his needs was torture. And none of this would have happened if you had ruled for Zoro to go to Whole Cake. Which is why you deeply cursed yourself, even though it was for a greater cause.

Time seemed long until you all reunited at Wano and start planning for the assault on Kaido. So when you did reunite with everyone, your jaw almost dropped to the floor when Brook mentioned walking in on Hiyori sleeping on top of Zoro. Pretending not to care was harder than pretending not to know, so you decided to ignore the green-haired male and stay focused on your task. Even if it meant not listening to the drums of your heart and its song.

Which led to raise confusion in Zoro’s mind. He was not explicit with words, but weren’t his gestures enough? Did you not understand him like he thought you did?

He would be lying if he said he did not mind your distant attitude. He would even go as far as saying that he felt bothered by it, especially after spending quite some time apart pretending not to know one another. He was surprised to not see your usual smile when you looked at him, and not have you saving him a spot next to your figure.

Instead, there was Trafalgar Law.

And it seemed you enjoyed his company. He could see the two of you talking intently and the way he would lower his head so he could hear you more amongst the ruckus. He could see the way his grey eyes would pierce at your features, like a hawk. Hell, he even saw how Law casually laid a hand on your arm when you got up the table to wash your hands.

Zoro clicked his tongue and threw daggers at Law with his one functioning eye, wishing his eye could kill.

When the reunion ended and everyone started leaving to their room, the swordsman could not help himself but bump into you on his way, which you could not possibly ignore. Your eyes met before you averted your gaze and started walking again, which he prevented by standing your way.

And yet, he did not let out a single word. Or at least, not a single one he wished to say.

“Enjoying the alliance I see.”

You scoffed, your pride taking advantage.

“So do you, Roronoa”, you looked down at Enma with an arched brow, “Nice sword you have here.”

“Thanks, Hiyori gave it to me.” he answered, not noticing the ice in your tone, or maybe ignoring it for how warm he felt hearing your voice, even if it lacked its usual honey.

Hearing the name you resented triggered your jealousy. You simply nodded and formed an “oh” with your lips, its shape taking his breath away. It took him a lot of strength not to plant a kiss on your pout, but before he could even argue, someone called you, interrupting his train of thought.

“(Y/N)-ya, I need your input on the number of fleets for the assault before we head out.” Law said from behind Zoro, which prevented the doctor from seeing the grim look on the swordsman’s face.

“Already on first name basis with the Doctor huh?” Zoro said, clicking his tongue in the process.

Just like you with Hiyori, you wished to say. You wanted to shake him off, ask him what the matter was if Law used your first name. You wanted him to tell you he liked you and not Hiyori, and him to throw his new sword away. You knew these were unfair feelings, and probably a little mean. If Zoro had found solace in the kindness of Hiyori and the beauty of Wano, then there was nothing for you to do, right?

With these invading thoughts in mind, you simply sighed and offered him a small, sad smile before joining Law in his quarters.

“I’ll see you in three days for the assault. Please train well, everyone is counting on you.”

Seeing you walk past him to join Law hurt him more than he wished to admit. He did not turn around to watch you walk away, swallowing whole. He waited a second before walking away as well, regrouping with Hiyori.

// the festivities after the assault //

When Kaido was defeated after much efforts, the Mugiwara and the alliance craved for a celebration. Everyone was reunited on the Sunny amongst sake, flowers, food, music and laughters.

You had your back resting on the railing, enjoying the breeze in your hair with a cup of your favorite drink in your hand, looking at the rejoice faces around you. Of course, your eyes followed the trail of Zoro, and the fact that the swordsman was still sitting with Hyori.

Sighing, you felt the presence of Law getting closer to yours. He stood beside you, his eyes looking in the same direction as yours.

“I have to admit (Y/N)-ya, you remarkably led the battlefield.”

”Because you doubted this alliance? Here I thought we were able of performing miracles.” you playfully added using his phrases, slightly shoving the Doctor in the process. Trafalgar Law felt himself smirking, not bothering to answer your gentle attack, surprisingly, simply enjoying your presence.

During the course of this alliance, you had gotten closer with the Doctor. His quietness and charisma was similar to Zoro’s, even though he was not as large as the green-haired. Law found himself enjoying talking to you, especially in this setting. He thought you were intelligent and committed to your work, dedicated to saving lives with the best plans, just like he dedicated his life as a doctor to save others. You could see how he grew accustomed to the crew’s nonchalant antics, and safe around you all. Even you were surprised that he did not betray Luffy’s trust, since you were part of the ones that doubted Luffy’s decision.

But getting closer to Law, even as amicably as your relationship with him was, did not go unnoticed, especially by the swordsman himself. Three days ago, he felt a gap between the two of you, which he was not used to. Him, who was so used to stay by your side when you stayed on the railing to lovingly keep an eye on everyone. Him, who was so used to enjoying your presence and your scent. Him, that was now staring at you and Law amidst the laughters of his friends, ignoring Hiyori beside him.

Right now, he had two options at hand. Either closing the distance, or risking losing you to another world.

“Go talk to her.” he heard Hiyori’s voice beside him speak, which cut his train of thought.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I feel like I got to know you enough to know that (Y/N)-san holds a dear place to your heart. Pardon me if I am wrong, though, but she may not be aware of your feelings.”

Zoro sighed and did not find the words to answer Hiyori. Instead, he kept his eye on you all along. You were so beautiful, glorious.

When Law left to get you another drink, Zoro took this opportunity to get up and walk to you, his presence getting more and more overpowering as he got closer to you. As he got beside you, you did not dare to move, feeling a pull.

There he stayed beside you, enjoying your presence as he should. The air blowing in your hair danced its way to his heart again, a dusty shade of pink coloring his features. On your hand, it felt hard to talk, a mix of sadness, desire, pride and guilt creeping in your heart.

The swordsman crossed his arm as he kept his built back onto the railing, finally uttering the words he wished to say, closing his one eye.

“You were missed, you better know that.”

And all he heard was your scoff and laugh at his subtle yet commanding hint.

“What’s making ya laugh, woman?” he turned to you, opening his eye, basking in your glory.

“You are, Zoro. You are clearly implying that you missed my presence, while you’re here with your girlfriend! It’s preposterous, even for you.” You said, trying to calm your laughter, clearly a defense mechanism.

“Huh?! Are you insane?! Who are you talking about?” he asked, dumbfounded with a bit of irritation.

“Hiyori, who else? I wish the two of you all the happiness in the world. But you should not imply things you either do not mean or should not mean in a relationship.”

“What relationship are you even talking about for God’s sake? Are you high? Drunk?”

“Stop lying to me! I understand you have boundaries and secrets and all, but I saw how the two of you are acting! And Brook even told me you slept together! So please, for the sake of my heart, Zoro : do not say words you should not say when you are involved with someone else.”

You let out a huge sigh at the end of your speech, trying your best to keep your composure. Zoro stared at you, quite confused at your words. But amidst them all, Zoro remembered how he understood you like no one could. And in spite of your ludicrous accusations, Zoro knew better. Regardless of him knowing better, his stubbornness got the best of him at that moment.

“You’re one to talk, with Tra-guy sticking to you. He’s been all over you, ready to steal you away from me and the crew.”

“What are you even talking about? I am not planning on leaving you and the crew, and Law is just a friend. Surely, he is not interested in stealing me away on his submarine. Don’t be preposterous.”

“Only an idiot wouldn’t want to steal you away if they could.”

Your eyes met his for a moment, and it felt obvious. Natural. Before Law could come back with the drink you wanted, you offered him a small smile, set on cutting the tension.

“So, are you dating Hiyori?”

“I thought it was clear that I’m not interested in dating her.” he replied, which made you look at him with an arched brow.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Isn’t it obvious?”

“Just as obvious as your probable feelings for me, if you want my opinion.”

Zoro sighed, blaming himself for not being able to normally express his feelings to you, worried, that someone like Law could.

“How can I make my feelings clearer then?” he genuinely asked, feeling Law coming your way.

“You could start by getting me a drink?” you suggested with a knowing smile as Law arrived in front of the two of you.

Needless to say, Zoro forcefully took the drink from the other captain’s hands to hand it to you, with a smirk on his lips.

“Ain’t nobody stealing my girl here, Tra-guy.” he muttered to his “rival”, leaving Law confused and you laughing.

From that moment on, the distance finally closed and Zoro felt exactly where he belonged: right by your side.