#I tend to put things off bc “im not ready” for them in general now that I think abt it. Huh.

[whyoneartheven]

suddenly I have realized my bad habit of procrastinating has become a nearly debilitating fear

[neon-vocalist]

i wrote this while listening to the songs and did not proofread so sorry if it’s incomprehensible + i’m putting it under a cut bc i talked A Lot. i just don’t understand this album. i think a lot of the songs would’ve been ranked a lot higher if listened to on their own / in little groups and not all crammed in one album together because there is no coherent genre or vibe. if i was ready for soft, pretty lofi shit i would’ve probably ranked through the blue and skeletons higher, but i’d already been enticed by overkill and donmai. idk. anyway! actually listened to phantomime review & ranking (low to high this time oops):

10. through the blue: i’m used to the lowkeyed shit by now i think. cute intro. cute verse. not what i’ve grown to love from calli but by now this girl does every fucking genre under the sun so what did i expect. it’s great for what it is, once again, i have no idea why it’s in an album with overkill. the thing with this album is it can’t seem to pick a vibe. it opens with three really loud upbeat tracks, overkill is basically rock/metal… cult following is also very metal… and then like. does this. i’m confused lmao and this is not my preferred genre i’m sorry calli 💔 it’s cute. it’s fine. whatever. 4/10 somehow worse than sneaking oops

9. sneaking revenge: not my fav. worse than og sneaking i think. i don’t tend to like features that much bc like. i’m here to listen to calli not some random guy and i especially am not a fan of this guy’s voice in particular. it’s fine but im not happy about it. 4/10

8. cult following: fun and enticing intro even if the 7 seconds of silence made me a little bit confused. i’m loving the transition from aggressive whisper to soft vocals but i am not necessarily loving the amount of time that the soft vocals last or the transition from soft vocals to shouting. it seems a little out of place and i don’t really like the sound of either of them. the hook is not that good. i’m not sure if metal is calli’s scene. i know in my pre review i was like “lmao this is gonna end up hardcore for everything but the promo!” for one of the songs… and then this one was… but i do not like it lmao. would’ve been ranked even lower but extra points added for calli’s vocals i didn’t know that girl could SCREAM like that! 5/10

7. skeletons: disappointing intro ngl im sorry but we’ve learned by now that im not into slow stuff. also calli’s voice sometimes has like weirdly shadowed tones especially when she’s being quiet and i don’t. really. like it that much. don’t kill me lmao and do not let it be perceived that i don’t adore calli’s singing voice bc i do it’s just like. why r u doing that. seems more fit for a lofi album than an album that kicks off with tide ft. AI. the rap part could grow on me though ngl i think im gonna like this more once i listen to it again a few times. for now though: 6/10.

6. tide: solid song. the novelty of it has worn off which might be why i’ve not ranked it any higher? but for an album opener it’s GREAT. idk if it sets any sort of tone yet but i love it on its own! the harmonies are great :) 7/10

5. midnight mayoi: god i fucking love kobo she’s so CUTE. it’s a little more lowkey than i tend to like, in general, but the vocals are also really pretty and good GOD is this song earwormy. kobo’s voice is so cute i know i already said this but holy shit. the harmonies are also really tasty! very cute song :) owah owah oh… 7/10

4. go-getters: absolute banger this song has everything! the style is something we really haven’t seen from calli before, it’s more poppy than i’d normally like but i’m into it anyway. the vocals are flawless and everything seems so clean despite there being SO MUCH going on lmao i fucking love this song. 8/10

3. overkill: oops i’m scared of ranking it too high but i DO think it’s better than GG. it’s definitely more my style and waaaa the vocals are so fucking tasty i <3 calli. 9/10

2. DONMAI: oooh sassy vocals… god i fucking love calli’s singing voice. i can always appreciate a good rap interlude. the chorus BANGS. calli’s voice is SO SMOOTH like her low notes are soft and enticing and then her high notes are so powerful goddd i love her lmao this song is so good. the bridge is perfect. saxophone!!!!!! 9/10 (note: i realised that while writing to this i was biased by my pre review so i listened to it again after hearing the album as a whole and… yeah no it still goes hard af 9/10)

1. last days: just as soft and slow as skeletons tbh BUT it picks up by the prechorus, the chorus is actually really strong and FUCK that high note is impressive!!! i don’t have the music theory words to describe this but i love the uh. chord… progression… is that the word? lmao. second verse is significantly quicker than the first and i actually really really love this song holy shit… the emotion in the bridge is like. heart wrenching. the harmonies? THE BEAT DROP? WHAT THE FUCK???? 9/10 better than DONMAI

[thesquareinthecircularhole]

hey stupid, i love you [MCYT: Dream x GN!Reader]

song: hey stupid I love you by jp saxe

warnings: fluff

im pretty sure i made this an gender neutral as possible but if there is an error lmk thanks bby :*

im in a simpin mood bby

as always, song lyrics in italics

i skipped a couple versus due to repetitiveness oops

this is the one i complained about losing, but it actually worked out bc i like this one better...less wordy

word count: ~2k

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nothing's wrong, and it's not what I'm used to Oh, does it surprise you too? When it's simple, is it easier than it should be?

"Hey babe, are you okay? You've been quiet today," Dream practically pouted as he asked you. He loved the sound of your voice and while you definitely weren't giving him the quiet treatment, you sure weren't as talkative as you normally are.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just distracted thinking my thoughts." You smiled at him and leaned against him. He looked down at you and pecked your lips. You gave him a sweet kiss back. The smile he gave you made your heart boom. Loving him was as easy as eating a cake (because the usually analogy 'baking a cake' isn't true, its sometimes hard to bake a cake, especially when a hungry streamer keeps trying to eat the batter or start a flour fight).

"Anyway, don't you have a stream with the Dream Team to get ready for? One that starts in," you look at the clock on your phone, "three minutes ago?" The slight panic that crosses Dream's face makes you laugh loud. He gives you another kiss and in less than five seconds has practically launched himself across the house into his recording room. Your laughter follows him the whole way, a smile and blush upon his face.

Nothing's wrong, but when you're not in my arms I send voice notes, you send hearts And get quiet, and I know that means you miss me

Okay, granted, you were the one to remind him that he was streaming with his friends today and speedrunning, but you didn't expect it to last well over five hours. At the beginning you worked on your classwork for your [college degree of choice]. You got it done quickly, as it was nearing the end of the semester and most professors of yours were laidback and wanted you to study more than write nonsense papers (fictional you, i'm so jealous). Occasionally you would jump in fear when you heard Dream shout, still not used to it after years.

After finishing your classwork, you started cooking dinner. Soup was the vibe for the evening, and you had found a wonderful chicken and dumplings recipe a while ago that you wanted to try. You did have to go to the store for some of the ingredients, but luckily it only took you an hour. You can back and he was still streaming. It took about another hour for dinner to be done. You let it cool and prepared yourself a bowl. You set your laptop up and started watching Dream's stream. Hearing his voice made you miss him, so you pulled out your phone.

Going to the two of y'alls messages, you started making him a voice message.

"Hey baby, I made dinner, so don't play so long it gets cold. I love you! Kick the enderdragon's ass baby! Mwah."

You continued watching him stream, and he took a pause for a minute, his screen not moving from the create a new world screen and his mic muted. A couple seconds later you got spammed with every heart offered in the emoji index times what felt like a thousand.

He continued being quiet for a couple seconds, although he did unmute and continue playing, answering George's and Sapnap's questions of where he went with, "I had to take a message."

You're jealous, you shouldn't be I want you obsessively But I know how complicated it can get When you're not in front of me I know insecurities get in your head

Chat sometimes upset you. Sure, you got Dream, all of him, but sometimes the comments made by some of the more obsessives fans were a bit to much.

'With the way he killed those mobs you know he's got good fingers'

'His voice is hot so he must be'

'Heyo dream baby lemme see them feet'

Okay the last one was more weird, and actually turned out to be a joke from Quackity but anyway moving on.

He was your guy, and he promised himself to you, but sometimes he seemed to have a genuine connection with some of the sweeter and not gross ones. It made you scared that someone, one day, will swoop him off his feet with a comment and he’d leave you for them. 

But I'm not gonna interrupt if you need to talk about it Roll my eyes, get offended by the way you doubt it You know you're mine, you just forget sometimes So promise me you won’t And you know I'll remind you when you think I don't

The stream ended a little under an hour later. Dream left his recording room, grabbed a bowl of soup, and found you in the living room, lost in thought. He plopped down right next to you. 

“Talk to me baby.”

“About what?”

“Anything and everything.”

“Okay.” You’re quiet for a bit, despite his offering of listening. He knew you were gonna take him up on the offer, you just needed a bit of time, so he was going to wait patiently. He finished his soup quickly, he was much hungrier than he thought. He put the bowl on the coffee table and before he was all the way leaned back on the couch, you were leaning against him. His arms wrapped around you, your head was tucked in between his head and shoulder, and a blanket covered the both of you. You looked towards the blank tv screen but felt his eyes on you.

“I love you a lot. And I know you love me too, but I’m afraid I’m not enough. You have so many options, especially with your popularity online. I don’t know what I’d do if you left me, whether it be for someone else or just because you’re tired of me.” Dream waits for you to stop entirely, with you breathing heavily.

“Well, you’re right about one thing. I do love you, a lot. The rest of it is wrong and I’ll spend the rest of time telling you so.” Dream says, pressing several kisses against your forehead. 

“Yeah I know it’s stupid to feel this way, but my anxiety gets the best of me. It’s stupid, I’m stupid.”

“First of all, you’re not stupid. Second, hey stupid, I love you.”

Nothing's wrong, I just get in my head too Can you reassure me you, you're still in it? I just wish you could lean in and kiss me

As much as Dream loved you and reassured you, sometimes he would get caught up in his thoughts too. The life of a streamer/youtuber, especially one with as much fame and subscribers as him, was rough. The constant need to feed his fans with entertainment and content, and the need for the content to satisfy his fans was stressful. He hates to admit it, but he some days he spent to much time working and not enough with you. He thinks you would be so much happier with someone without a tight schedule and without a large, intense fanbase. Any random person on the street would be better for you than him, he thinks. 

When he gets into this headspace, the only thing that grounds him is your lips on his. When you kiss him, the clouds go away and all he can see is your eyes, as bright as the sun, and your smile, which can tempt even the purest. 

Say nothing's wrong, tell me to settle down You do it better than I've ever known how Won't pull some tricks for attention But could I get a little now?

Now, everyone knows that Dream likes some attention. He especially likes attention from you. Good thing is you also like attention, especially from him. The not so good thing is both of y’all get distracted so bad, it’s almost too funny.

He tends to get your attention by tickling you, whether it be in the comfort of your home or in public. One day, when you guys were walking through town, you stopped at a flower booth and got to talking with the friendly and flirty florist gentleman. It had been a couple minutes, and Dream was really needing some love, but you continued chatting with the florist who was definitely going to ask for your number but you genuinely thought he was just being nice. Dream crept up behind you and placed his hands on your side. You froze for a moment and looked at him, confused. The smirk that crossed his face barely gave you a second to prepare as he tickled your sides. Your laughter filled the street as you turned around as he tickled you. You wrapped your arms around his neck, which got him to stop ticking you, and gave him a kiss. The two of you continued on your way, attached at the hip.

And one day, when you wanted his attention, it was after he was done recording a manhunt with his friends. The actual video had been done for a bit, but they were just fucking around in the minecraft world and talking to each other. You had had a not so nice day, and wanted the crushing weight of your boyfriend on top of you. You crept into his recording room and came to stand right behind his chair. Based on the conversation you could tell he wasn’t recording anymore, so you knew it was safe. Your hands started in his hair, trailed down to his face, and slid down his body till your arms were wrapped around him snuggly. Your head was placed on top of his. 

“What are you doing?” he asked, and received no response. Instead, you began aggressively shaking him and the chair, turning it this way and that, making him slightly dizzy. His laughter filled the room, and he quickly ended the call. The two of you spent the next 12 hours cuddled in bed, leaving only for the necessities. 

You're jealous, you shouldn't be I want you obsessively But I know how complicated it can get When you're not in front of me I know insecurities get in your head

Dream got jealous as well sometimes. You were beautiful and a lot of the time attracted the attention of random passerbyers. Those people, who you don’t even know, who lived normal lives where they didn’t have to spend every second worried that their face will be revealed to the public and suddenly all their fans from around the world will know what they look like or the general area in which they live, who don’t have to obey algorithms and bend to the will of the masses to make sure they get paid enough to live, who could give you a normal and safe life. Every time one looked at you with some attraction, he pulled you a bit closer and kissed you a bit harder. 

But I'm not gonna interrupt if you need to talk about it Roll my eyes or get offended by the way you doubt it You know you're mine, you just forget sometimes So promise me you won’t And you know I'll remind you when you think I don't

Sometimes, Dream needed to rant. A long, hard, intense, rant. Sometimes it was about how someone accused him of cheating his speedruns. Sometimes it was about how someone said something nasty to him or one of his friends. Sometimes it was about a comment someone made about him or you that got on his nerves. When he needed to talk, you sat there and you listened. You did whatever he needed to get better, whether it was just listen or talk to find solutions. You did it because you know he would do the same for you. And afterwards, a cuddle session was a must. 

How could you forget? I told you seventeen times before 7 AM I love you How could you forget? I told you seventeen times

The morning after rough days were one of the bests. Arms tangled together, legs tangled together, everything tangled together, no one able to tell where one started and the other ended. Lazy kisses pressed to faces, hands, necks, any part of skin the lips could touch. One particular morning you woke up earlier than he did. A quick kiss against his cheek woke him up, and he gave you the most love filled smile any man could do.

“Hey stupid,” you said, “I love you.”

[carpisuns]

do you ever get discouraged by social media? like the fact that a lot of interactions can never go beyond the surface level since you won't get to meet a lot of people irl or the fact that numbers seem to matter so much to how others perceive you? hope this isn't too heavy, just curious to hear your thoughts

hey, sorry it's taken me so long to get back to this! but yes, i definitely know what you mean. social media can be a strange and disheartening space to be in because it's all about perception and not often about truly knowing someone. we all kind of have a version of ourselves that we put out there for the world to see, and it's not necessarily a completely false image, but it's also not the full picture, you know? and in a fandom space like this one, it's mostly built around a single interest or group of interest, which is great for surface-level bonding with people but not necessarily for a deeper relationship. so it can feel hard to build truly meaningful friendships sometimes.

i've been fortunate tho to meet some amazing people online that i now consider some of my dearest friends and closest confidants. it started with bonding over a shared interest, but then we found that we had more in common and started sharing things outside of that one interest and talking about our lives and supporting each other in both our hard times and good times. i feel really blessed and lucky to have these friends in my life, whether we ever get the chance to meet in person or not.

i'm not sure if you're actually looking for advice about this, but if you are, mine would be to just be kind and positive and enjoy interacting with people, and that may naturally lead to deeper friendship. that's how it's worked for me, at least. kinda depends on what your vibe is and how you prefer to interact online but i've made friends by sending asks/messages to people to let them know how much I enjoy their work and by hanging out in discord servers to chat about fandom stuff as well as general-interest stuff. might be a good place to start!

and as for numbers, yeah, that can be frustrating too! i'll be totally honest—i used to care way too much about numbers. at one point it lowkey became an obsession for me 😩 i'd be constantly checking to see how many followers i had and how much attention my posts were getting and i got too invested in watching the numbers go up and too frustrated when they would stagnate and most of all just too focused on comparing my following with other people's. it was especially bad on instagram bc everyone's follower count is on public display and art tends to get a lot more attention there, so i grew way faster and i also watched other people grow at like breakneck speed and leave me in the dust and i would get jealous,,,woof.

but there came a point when i realized that my focus on numbers was not healthy or enjoyable for me and it was making my fandom experience stressful and bitter rather than fun and chill. so i took a little break for a few weeks and really tried to gain some perspective with it all and it helped loads!! i mean i won't say i don't care about numbers at all anymore haha but they definitely don't have the same hold on me. my growth both here and on instagram has slowed down a lot but i honestly don't mind at all and actually may find that preferable haha. idk im just satisfied and comfortable where i am and what i find most fulfilling in fandom is my friendships and my interactions with other fans, not really the individual attention that I get. it's been nice to take the pressure off myself and not worry about performance and instead just kinda vibe lol. like i used to stress when I didn't post new art for a week, but now i just make stuff when i want to and let myself take my time and post when i'm ready instead of rushing out of some self-imposed sense of obligation.

i totally get people's desire to grow a bigger platform, especially creators who have professional ambitions, and it's awesome to celebrate with them when they hit milestones. but i hope that no matter where any of us are, we remember that our worth is not determined by our online following. and also that we are all just regular people with blogs! I think there's a tendency to treat bigger names in the fandom as like pseudo-celebrities or something (i've definitely been guilty of that ), but at the end of the day we're all just big nerds who like talking about a cartoon lol. it's nice when we can all just support each other and share content and discuss ideas and stuff without making people feel unduly pressured bc their following (like putting them on a pedestal, demanding a greater output of content, etc.) or making them feel lesser because of their lack of one. fandom is about community, not competition, and your contributions are valuable even if they get less attention that someone else's!

ok i feel like i've just rambled a lot, sorry lol idk if any of this was actually meaningful/helpful to you but i wish you the best and hope you feel less discouraged about this! 💜

[kth1]

why do you like taegi the most?

i’ve had this ask sitting in my inbox for a hot minute because i wanted to be able to respond when i had the time to lay out a novel. maybe... i don’t know how long this will be but here we go bubs. thank you for asking in advance! 

for starters... kim taehyung. 

my ultimate. the man that choses me no matter what i did. i admire him, aspire to be more like him, and adore him to all extremes. from his younger years and to present years, this guy really sticks out with personality for me. (yes he’s attractive but like, it’s really the personality that makes me coo).  i could actually feel a vibe/energy toward taehyung in which in some sort of mystical au where i could meet him, i feel like i’d connect with him very well (you can disagree, idc). this is just my perception. yes, he’s a lump of an enigma and that’s exactly what i like about him. you never fully know what you’re getting with tae besides the fact that you know you don’t know what you’re going to get! the element of him being spontaneous and can reach all ends of the spectrum from animation really appeals to me. deep down, i feel like he is a very sensitive soul, things bother him quiet often but he masks. and with that mask he makes a great conversationalist because i believe he knows how to be appropriate with pushing back biased thoughts to be able to hear out others - however i feel like he runs into people who don’t understand or are willing to hear him out in return. sure he has trouble expressing things from time to time, but i think it’s because of the emotions and thoughts that course through him are nondefinitive. you have to know and learn tae to get and understand tae. (not disregarding any of the others when i speak this, btw) he is honestly, truly amazing in my eyes and that’s probably one of the main reasons why i feel toward him the most. he can be soft, cuddly, and kind. he as an earth sign supports the stereotypes of down to earth, wise, and also ambitious. also, tae can pull out some ruthless, playful, tactics out of left field because that’s just how he is - and we love all sides of him (or what he wants to show us). his constant creativeness is enjoyable, how many times does tae want to go against the standard? nearly all the time! and he pulls it off! because i feel like tae doesn’t fully care to be the same, he wants to be himself. and that’s so utterly sexy of him you have no idea. (again, you can disagree with me) but sometimes i personally feel like i can be very similar to tae in many ways, with thoughts, feelings, and creative drives. i feel we both attempt to put on our fronts, try to remain humble and respectful. understand we are just humans and we are the same. and also can be quick to call out the suspicious acts so bluntly because our bullshit meter is always running. not to mention, both he and i enjoying being dramatically extra for no apparent reason sometimes. this is how i conclude the fermented idea in my mind that maybe, just maybe, i would make a great friend with tae if i ever had a chance. 

mr. min yoongi.

this many radiates comfort and i feel like he’s super trustworthy. yoongi is the type of person i feel like i could spill all my beans in front of, not matter how heated, sad, or excited i may be, and he’d openly accept it all. his level of patience is something i strive to have. the way he’s so witty and sharp tongued, smart, and ready to stir the pot from time to time to challenge against you is something i find remarkable and again - enjoyable. in the nicest of ways, yoongi can easily tell you how it is... and if you push the wrong buttons he can probably easily tell you how it be with more tone and harsher words. however, yoongi is straight-forward majority of the time, something i am like as well. he is a pisces with virgo moon so i feel real bad with the inner battles his brain probably constantly undergoes, all those hidden thoughts he doesn’t want to reveal to most. i feel that yoongi has such a massive intuition, a general 6th sense about him. in many occasions, i also see myself with similar personality as yoongi. those ‘tsundere’ vibes, introverted, keeps to ourselves, and randomly once we’re comfortable we ‘act out’ and surprise everyone, but they think it’s funny/cute, etc. yoongi (here i go with my delulu au’s where maggie is y/n) would be the type of person i look up to and always want to talk to - to tell him about what’s bothering me. even if i feel like im boring or annoying, i feel like i’d be able to open up to him fast because i just have that confidence and belief to him. in most cases, he acts in a calmly manner. whereas, once i loose my cool i come out very heated an aggressive because i cannot hold back as much as he can - another thing i wish i was more like. the natural, effortless and relaxed aspect of yoongi, is also very very attractive (all yoongi bias’ are going to agree to this one) but there is no lie when i speak this. he doesn’t showboat, he doesn’t parade around saying he’s the best and have a large ass ego. he is just yoongi who is doin’ himself. we like this shit. you do you booboo! 

taegi as a whole:

yes, completely super in love with the friendship of taegi. yes, mainly because these two take all my food from my table and bid me goodnight. however, i love all the friendships between members!!! but because im a taegi fanatic because of the likeness i have to bother individuals, i will comment on their bond bc i love it. golly, where do i start? hm, for beginners... let’s just remember how taegi would typically have the most conflicting ideas, resulting in the most funny scenarios whenever they sometimes were paired up in games or something. (like holding hands because they disagree??? cute) how yoongi - to this day - tends to have a hard time changing tae’s mind / saying no to tae because tae is a wee bit stubborn and want to do / try things out. when tae always wants to be yoongi’s hype man, enjoy yoongi’s rap, verses, highest key is trying to take over all of yoongi’s parts in each rapping song because skrrt skrrt! together, taegi is very touching to me. tae admires and looks up to yoongi in so many ways, and yoongi shows such a concern in undertones towards tae is endearing. like, you can’t tell me this friendship ain’t cute. i would politely throat chop you and call you a fool. yes i’m hella biased, i know this, however i don’t care what you say against me because it is what i like to see and crave a bond like these two beans! taegi; two fun-filled people who are honest, deep, and most importantly... they are true. (not saying anyone is ‘fake’, please shake that thought from your head!!!) im saying like, true in the sense of real people. an archaic expression of being true to oneself, yourself, others, etc. they are true to most of everything (in my mind). both of these two are very commendable and you can learn a lot through them! 

this concludes my maggie rants for now. please come by another time after i recharge! i know i haven’t touched every single thing about each category, i know i have more to say but just don’t know how to say it or can’t bring all the thoughts to the table for now. thank you to the anon who prompted this question. and also thanks to whoever ends up reading this response! again, i love all the members in their own special ways! i don’t intend to disregard others but this ask caters to my personal loves. <3

[botanyshitposts]

whats the deal with proven winners?

okay. so. this is actually how i got into botany in the first place; i got an unpaid internship at a greenhouse in high school and realized, very quickly, that we live in a jurassic park hellscape where big companies breed plants solely for their looks and performance, and i found that so fucking weird that i couldnt get enough of it and fell down the rabbit hole. i don’t find them bad per say; i find them weird and how they manage their product in terms of policing their retailers is very sketchy to me, but they’re not like, monstanto-level off the shits (yet). with mother’s day next weekend we’re coming up on one of the biggest greenhouse/ornamental plant industry sales days of the year, next to valentines’ day (which favors the rose industry especially), so this is an exceptionally convenient time to talk about this. 

proven winners is one of the biggest ornamental plant companies in the united states, possibly the world. you might know them from their patented white flower pots. they’re centered in california (as, actually, a lot of these large flower producers are) and they manage a HUUUUUUGEEE network of giant industrial flower greenhouses. 

like, you have to understand, all garden retailers have to buy their shit from somewhere, and although the centers and local greenhouses selling proven winners stuff are often small and independent (unless ur talking like...flowerama or something), a large portion of the plants themselves, like many things in capitalism, form an industry of their own dominated by a handful of oligarch corporations, of which proven winners is one. small retailers order bulk products from these companies, should it be through full-color paper catalogs (which exist, btw, and are wild in and of themselves to look at; i actually have a few back home that i keep around solely bc they’re incredibly fascinating in a slightly offputting jurassic park kind of way), online, or through a sales representative for their region. 

it depends on what they’re ordering, but they can buy seeds, plugs (the black trays of like....tiny plants you buy at garden centers to put in planters? the ones that come in, like, six packs? those are called ‘plugs’), and in the case of perennials, woody plants of various ages, among other things. these plants are bred, marketed, and sold on a goddamn industrial scale. it’s wild. 

now....this is where it gets absolutely fascinating to me. this isn’t just proven winners, but proven winners is one of the top contenders of this. some highlights of how plants are actually marketed on an industrial scale: 

-plants come out in collections. like, you have horticulturalist designer people who put their names on some stuff and they all go out as like, The New Hot Thing(tm). 

-they always promote their top selling stuff, and the plants that won awards, and like, the most popular flower arrangements and stuff. this in and of itself, again, isn’t like.....bad, it just feels weird how plants are marketed as objects rather than living things, you know?

-these plants are 100% bred and optimized for their commercial value and how they look. see the above point about how it feels like they’re treating them as objects. 

-every year, there are new plants, which are put at the front of the catalogue and like, show them off as the Hit New Products. these are all part of the year’s collective collection, so like, proven winners has their 2019 collection all ready on their site in a special little tab: 

FUN INDUSTRY SIDE STORY: looks like they have some new orange petunias this year, which reminds me fondly of the 2017 purge ordered by the USDA of a ton of illegally GMO orange petunias....

you see, orange petunias don’t exist naturally, so what companies do is either 1. systematically breed orange into them, which can take years, or 2. take red petunias and just put in some coding for yellow from the maize genome, which makes them orange. usually, you have to submit all this paperwork and go through a ton of government red tape to sell GMOs, including required trials conducted by the federal government, but what some of these large ornamental seed companies were doing was just....not telling the government and just kind of...pretending that they bred them. so in 2017, a netherlands team noticed that these were like....kind of Suspicious(tm), and started doing some tests....and accidentally uncovered like, this huge international orange petunia scandal across all these companies, over 30 varieties of illegal petunia being sold internationally. they had to alert the actual EU, which then alerted the USDA, who then gave an actual government order for these large companies to literally burn, bury, or otherwise destroy all their industrial stock of the proven illegal GMO orange petunias. 

small retailers who had bought them assuming that they were legal were allowed to keep and continue selling what they bought, but the actual producers were ordered to just fucking. violently destroy everything. the USDA informed these companies that they could sell them again, but only if they were put through the proper government channels and received proper certification. i checked the old recall list and didn’t see these, so i’m assuming they’re like...Legit, but. im 👀 somebody test these lol

AAANNNNYYway that aside, if you would like to see the Proven Winners 2019 Flower Collection Showcase(tm), they have a bunch of......weird kind of ads on their youtube channel showing artsy pics of their new shit. to this day i can’t pin down exactly what about them makes me feel slightly uncomfortable, but you really do get a sense that they’re selling an object to preform, which i guess is the point, but...idk, it’s just a very different view of plants, i think, then i personally have. very sci-fi-y, if you will. all their ads are like this; these video are essentially very similar to what you get from their print sales booklets, but in video form.

see, last but not least, my biggest beef with proven winners is the weird way they handle their company. 

you get inspected by the plant police.

im not kidding. for those not very familiar with plant reproduction, you can grow vegetative clones of plants through a process called taking cuttings, where you cut off a part of the plant and put it in a new pot under the right conditions, and it develops a root system and becomes a genetic clone to the parent. obviously, anyone can do this with a lot of the proven winners plants, especially because PW plants, as i’ve noticed, tend to be bred to be more vigorous. 

proven winners wants to ensure that there’s no Illegal Plant Downloads taking place, so they literally like....send people out to these small retailers and ask to see their stock to make sure that all the plants are going in the Patented Proven Winners White Pots(tm) with the Patented Proven Winners Information Tags(tm). you MUST plant proven winners stuff in the pots they send you, with the instructions they send you, and they will check you for this. the first time my internship mentor ordered from them, they accidentally planted the plugs in generic brown pots instead of the white ones, and the weird proven winners police rolled in unannounced for an inspection and told them that the next time it happened they wouldn’t sell to them anymore. what they’re worried about happening is that the growers will order a small amount and then just make a bunch of cuttings without paying them, and it’s just......weird. like i get why they do it but that’s always struck me as really, really shady lmao

[iiasha-archived]

genshin anon! finally lol. i keep meaning to respond - tab has been open with your last response for two weeks now... lol. oh i put a lot of work into my weapons. especially if i use them a lot. oo the 20k+ is nice though! apparently i have hu tao built semi decently so when she gets a vaporize crit it goes quite well for me haha. yeah agree. and they have updates every 6 weeks. yeah not every update is the biggest thing ever but like... its okay. no need to rush. game development takes time.

hihihi lmao again no worries!

(2/5) oh oops I spend several hours a day on the game (when i have time). to be fair, i genuinely enjoy going into coop and finding lower ar people to help with bosses and world exploration and stuff. so i can spend a long time doing that. i know i appreciated the help when i was low. plus its fun to get to chat with others occasionally. oh yeah genshin def ripped off of botw very well lol. they took botw's complaints and went yeah i can fix that. but then made it gacha.

(3/5) i saw you say you have c6 noelle now lol. i am so so sorry ): you did get keqing though? was that on the banner? so are you guaranteed the banner character next beCAUSE ZHONGLI RERUN YES. oh yeah it was so cool seeing everyone! bennett and razor were just adorable i love that friendship. loved getting to see albedo again. hes like.. my fav and of course i missed him :/ rerun plz.. ahh yeah a lot of the claymores are more for their skills i guess. except razor. so i get that.

(4/5) i also tend to use the elemental stuff a bit more but just idk claymores are SO SLOW and im just not overly fond. oh yeah polearms do less damage ahha. i like their fighting styles though. theyre faster and just idk it just -works- for me. oh that is SO CUTE they wear friendship tassels )': ooo yeah the rosaria/kaeya/diluc trio is quite fun. would def love to see more of them! rosaria grew a lot on me over 1.4 and seeing her... not be so rude all the time... lol.

(5/5) also im super excited, i did end up pulling childe! IT WAS SO CRAZY. I DID THE MAGICAL TWO 5*S IN A ROW. mona decided to give me c1 because i can never win the 50/50 and then childe was like its okay i know youve been working your butt off getting everything ready for me so here you go <3 and like )': i love him lol his playstyle is so fun and he works great with hu tao. also got rosaria and fischl (who i didnt have) which is great! were you pulling on childes banner at all or just saving?

ALSO thoughts on the 1.5 stuff??? I haven't gotten to watch completely everything yet but it all sounds so good! Zhongli rerun!!! And the housing thing seems super cool? And lower resin for weekly bosses! New world boss too! All the events seem pretty interesting as well so I'm pretty excited! -genshin anon (pretty sure tumblr still only lets you send 5 anon asks an hour or else i would've added this earlier lol)

genshin anon. lol it's okay! everyone is free to like whatever characters they want! yeah diona is.. not involved at all. although she is getting a hangout in 1.5! might be the first one i actually do. her story is pretty sad though from reading all of her profile. yeah you with noelle was me with diona. i was so mad at her at first since i pulled her like... 10 times on xiaos banner. after i got over it i tried her out and now i love her. also its okay! i took like two weeks to respond :P

but omg how do you have tabs open for two weeks.... i get stressed if i don’t leave my computer with everything closed LMAO. i mean yeah it definitely makes sense to put a lot of work into weapons bc they can be used by multiple characters so they’re a good investment!! i should start thinking about that as well......

nice!!! i’m guessing you’re having a good time with hu tao then eh :D my xiao is. okay lmao probably not doing the damage as expected of him but eh whatever <3 

if i’m like really in the mood i can invest a couple hours but most days it takes some self-convincing to even log in asfjdkldsaj like once i’m in the game it’s fine but for some reason the action of opening and loading it up is like hmm.... also most days by the time i do get to play i’m so exhausted from work </3 

omg that sounds fun!! personally i don’t like... playing with strangers that much afjdklasj so i tend to avoid co-op... but one of my friends might start playing genshin so i totally get what you mean about helping lower AR people with bosses and stuff because i wanna do that with her lmao :D 

lmao traded botw faults for the gacha system... you really can’t have it all unfortunately </3 speaking of botw my friend got my the expansion past like. literally last year lmao i’ve been meaning to play it. ugh i’m just so behind in general on all video games unless it’s genshin lmao

i wouldn’t have minded c6 noelle if i had GOTTEN ANYBODY ELSE WHEN I WAS PULLING ON THAT BANNER ;_____; like at least they could have given me a sucrose who i don’t have!!! but i did get keqing on my pity from that banner!! wait omg i didn’t realize that was how it works... i have a vague idea but if that’s true YES ZHONGLI PLEASE COME HOME GOD PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE i’m 100% skipping childe’s banner for zhongli sorry dude ajkdlfaj

ahhh yes getting to see albedo was nice too!!! even if only for a bit hehe it’s nice how they tried to rope in all the mondstadt characters somehow (except. diona jaklsdfja) 

okay mood. i love chongyun to bits but i admit after maining xiao for a while i’m definitely like why is chongyun so... slow asjfkldj but that’s literally just how it works </3 and same about rosaria!!!! she was still pretty like.... moody idk but she’s definitely better when she’s not just being straight up mean lmao

OMG CONGRATS!!!!! you seem to have much better gacha luck than me LMAOOO i envy that but i’m so glad you got everyone you wanted!!! and nah now that zhongli is definitely confirmed i’m DEFINITELY saving for him like actually the last time it was childe than zhongli’s banner was when i just started playing and i wasted all my beginner primogems on childe not knowing who was coming next........ i’m not making that mistake again LMAO

i didn’t watch the livestream but i did see the trailer and AHHHHHHH SO EXCITED omg with the housing i thought we were just getting a house but no it looks like they’re giving us a WHOLE FUCKING VILLAGE like as if i didn’t spend enough time in this game they’re introducing this like you KNOWWWW the hours about to be put into customizing our little house/villages.... 

ohhh i didn’t see the thing about resin!!! wow they really are giving it all. the previews for inazuma were also super pretty!!! and while the new characters have been known for a while this teaser definitely made me more excited for them hehe eula is so prettyyy

and yayyyy diona hangout! is she the only one coming in this version? but i’m glad to see they’ll probably add hangouts for all the characters (or at least the less story-critical ones like zhongli already has his story quest so idk if he’d get a hangout). it’s just nice to see more love given to those characters hehe <3

[durifmdarchived]

a headcanon about duri & his new years resolutions.

word count: 895. about: just duri’s resolutions for the new year. notes: some of this stuff probably won’t happen but it’s simply what duri would like to see in a way or another, while other things will happen. im trying that bullet thing this time around cause i can’t currently figure out how i want to word things,, imma thank beth cause i’m copying how she did it <3 thanks beth you’re incredible with a big mind <3. trigger warnings // ptsd mention.

duri isn’t really someone who truly does new years resolutions. truly, he tends to just let things happen how they happen, with everything simply falling in line. sure, some years, he had made it a resolution to be able to begin his solo career in music outside of knight. but, he can’t have that one anymore, since that happened to him almost two years ago now. but, that was really the extent to his most recent resolutions, with others throughout his life having to do with his academics, music, and actually becoming an idol (one that would finally come true with his debut in knight in 2012.) but, he hasn’t put much thought into new years resolutions. nonetheless, here’s some things that would be nice for 2021. 

go to therapy. this one is a huge one, to say the least. it’s something that duri really needs with the fact that he has post traumatic stress disorder that continues to go untreated. for years of his life, it was something that was treated, but he had later ended up falling off treatment, and started to progressingly get worse as time has gone on, especially with the stress of constant schedules and that of the such. he’s gotten really good at hiding, it however. but, how much longer can he had this? how much longer can he hide it from bc entertainment until they’re onto him? one thing is known that this is needed, but it probably won’t happen in 2021... probably not till someone actually pushes him towards doing it.

have a number one hit. this isn’t something that’s really all that important, to say the least. however, it’s something that would just be really cool to see, to have under the belt. duri’s solos have become a bit known to have chart longevity (besides for chocolate), mainly when it comes to releasing his usual sound of ballads (such as beautiful goodbye, shall we?, and all of my life) and even his osts. however, none of these have actual been at number one and he just thinks that it would be cool to achieve that at least once in his career as a soloist.

 become more confident. this one has always been a struggle with duri, his vanishing confidence mainly being at the hands of bc entertainment. for years, bc entertainment would reject a lot of opportunities for duri that wasn’t just ost appearances. they wanted to use him for simply his voice and never his looks, always shooting down his looks. it simply made him feel like maybe he should never do visual work, until he was constantly flooded with the love calls to do visual look, something that bc entertainment could no longer ignore - especially with realizing his high marketability, mainly due to the fact that the general public loves him to some degree because he isn’t a member who’s caused trouble for the group. his confidence is grower, but he’d like to see it at a higher peak, especially since he feels like he had a decline with the recent release of chocolate that didn’t do all too well. 

become main cast member for a variety show. this is another straight forward one. duri is a really big fan of doing variety, to say the least. he’s not entirely sure if he’s actually even really good at being on variety and if he’s fully entertaining. but, either way, he always has fun doing it, so this is something that he would really like to happen. sure, he was a main cast member on masterchef korea celebrity, which he had won, but he wants to do something where he isn’t competing for a winning title all season long, as well as something different from say, shared home or secret sibling. he wants to experience something new in the variety show sense, hopefully, instead of just making appearances. 

release a full album. it has been almost two years since duri has released a full album, with his last three albums being focused on mini-albums. to say the least, mini-albums are easy, it’s easier to have them all follow the same exact concept in a way, full albums being a bit of a challenge to get them to follow all the same style of song and have it flow completely. but, duri is ready for another full album, to be able to place a lot more of his songs into one album, rather than just having six songs upon each album. he’s hoping that it’s something that can happen within 2021 again, rather than bc entertainment opting for 2 mini-albums again in the same year to gain more money. 

write more music for knight. duri’s solo career in music seemingly more so involves him writing the songs that he sings on his own (sometimes, the songs he features on is a different story) and he really is grateful that he now gets to write all of his own songs (after only writing four on his debut solo album.) but, he would like to venture more into his songs being used for knight as a whole. there’s only a few songs that he has full writing credits on, such as she’s dreaming, promise, lights out, kokobop, among some others. but, he would really like to write some more for the group because it’s something he enjoys.

[narilgc]

𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐀 𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 . . . but i don’t regret the thing that i did !! hello all, i’ve been keeping this under wraps for the past few days but on a whim i’ve decided to bring on my second ( and last, i promise ) muse for the ride !! with that being said, it is jada here, max’s mun, but this time i’m presenting to you the wonderful im nari !! she was my initial idea before max, but i loved her too much to get rid of her !! i’m so excited for her to be here and i really hope she’s well received as well !! i’ve been slow on his acc for the past few days, and she’s the reason why, but now that i’ve gotten my life ( mostly ) together & things are running just fine again !! anyways, her profile’s here, and below you can find some general trivia on her as well as connection ideas !! oh, and like this to plot ! 

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 :

from damyang, south korea !!  a v small agricultural town & was born into humble beginnings - a seamstress for a mom, and her dad a farmer !! so she lived on a small farm when she was younger and was raised with pigs, cows, and goats as pets !

she helped around the farm her whole time she lived home, so she has a lot of life skills t & knows all about caring for animals and tending the farm !

they weren’t well off by any means - they had a small income to spread thin between all those people - but they made it work !! she never felt truly slighted as she knew their situation, in fact in her own way, she was spoiled in the best way she could be given their predicament.

raised in a household full of boys - she’s the youngest w a family of 6 loud, rowdy boys.

so in a way she’s more of a tomboy, used to roughhousing and all her sibling’s antics !! she’s also used to doing a lot of heavy lifting around the farm so has surprising strength for her size.

on the other hand, being the youngest & only daughter has upped the girliness !! she’s used to being babied so knows all about acting cute & her mom was always using her as an experiment for all her clothes !! was raised on handmade dresses her mom made in all sorts of intricate patterns & loved it !!

has been an actress in the making for a g e s !!! it all started when she was a really young kid, her mom would let her watch the tv in the tailor shop so she’d have something to do while her mom was at work !!

so there was this drama “a rolling hills romance” ( which i TOTALLY made up lmao !! ) that she absolutely loooved !! it was about a farm romance and was one of the only ones she saw that wasn’t taking place in the city !! it just got her in love with acting in general though, she’d eventually memorize scenes from all the dramas she’d watch and recite them out of the blue !!!

eventually it got her into theatre acting, which was her favorite !! she started watching broadway shows from abroad, memorizing the songs even though she didn’t always know what they were saying. but she just loooved the whole thing, and when she was in middle school she joined her school’s theatre department !

this is where the majority of her english skills came into play - she would memorize the lyrics, and though she didn’t really know what they were saying after a while she began to understand some words !! so while her pronunciation is pretty good from mimicking actors, she lacks the vocab to really use it !!

so she’s really hesitant to speak in english, because if people hear her speak they think she’s a lot more fluent than she is & it lands her in awkward situations !! so she mainly just ... doesn’t do that lol !!

i can’t believe i forgot this when i first wrote this !! this is a very vital part of her character omg !! her first “acting debut” if you could call it that was for a chocolate commercial when she was 8 !! basically she was in this christmas commercial for peppermint chocolates that got on tv and everyone in her town went crazy !! she like goes and delivers these chocolates while singing jingle bells and it’s wholesome and cute and swet !! it wasn’t that big at all lol but for their small town it was, and to them she’s a sort of small celebrity for it !! i’m sure some people might remember the commercial but notlike .... her yk ?? because that was her first and last role for a while lol !!

anyways !! she’s always been self-conscious of her looks - she felt like she wasn’t pretty enough, and limited her confidence. so at 16 she got 2 part-time jobs to begin saving up money, and at 17 she went to seoul to get a nose job & jaw reduction surgery.

and things seemed to be great after that !! she was confident, gaining more friends, but the real excitement came when her mom read online about an audition for legacy and jokingly asked if she wanted to do it. 

legacy had never even be on her radar !! she had always heard her friends talk about them for idols, but she had never thought of them as a company that accepted actresses. upon reading though, she was hooked !! she begged her parents, and they originally rejected the idea because they thought it was one of her phases. however, after much persuasion, they allowed her to attend auditions !!

she never expected to get in, she wanted to do it more as an experience than anything. but to say it was a shock was an understatement !! but she was so so incredibly happy.

had a hard time adjusting initially - she was only 17, and almost right after getting there she had to spend her birthday alone since she hadn’t made any friends yet. and although she’s naturally outgoing, it was really hard for her to be social at first because she was surrounded by so many more people than she was used to !!

for the past few years nari’s been doing general idol training, though that’s about to change !! she’s significantly improved her dance skills ( which were nearly nonexistent prior to training ) & gotten a lot better at her singing !! but her heart’s still deep into acting, and she knows that she wants to do that as well as some modeling !

she still suffers a lot with her self confidence, and there’s a lot of pressure for her to do well ! in school, because she’s the first of her family to go to university, and as a trainee, because she’s risked so much for it & doesn’t want to disappoint since her family has v high expectations for her !

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 :

a little lovebug !! she’s literally so loving and accepting of everyone - definitely, someone you can come to talk out any issues, she listens & provides support, free of any judgement !! also v keen on skinship i apologize in advance

she’s come out of her shell a lot since she got to seoul, but she’s still a little shy if she doesn’t know you well or is put in a situation w a lot of people !! pls be patient with her ^^

like max, she’s got a lot of energy in that little body !! but she actually has adhd so a lot of it isn’t really by choice. it frustrates her a lot because it limits her focus & has the tendency to make her restless. it was worse when she was younger, but has gotten better as she’s gotten older and she takes medicine to keep everything in check.

she’s also got v low self-confidence, she’s never been satisfied with herself and constantly wants to get better !! despite the surgeries, she’s still got a lot of insecurities both physically and not, but keeps them bottled up a lot bc she doesn’t want to burden others !! ( i want to shake her !! ) bc of that, she takes both criticism & compliments very seriously, she’ll turn all red if someone gives her the smallest compliment but will also overanalyze & judge herself if she gets critiqued. 

in fact her surgery’s almost made her more self-conscious, as she now feels that all the opportunities granted to her are because of her looks post-surgery. the worst insult she could get was she’s only succeeding because of her looks, because she’s worked so hard on her skills and she wants them to be what takes her forward, not something she had to pay to get.

despite that, she’s the true definition of a happy virus !! on the outside, she’s almost always smiling, and when all the other stuff doesn’t get in the way, she is on the inside too !! always trying to look on the optimistic side & give people a fresh perspective !

on that note she’s v childish, and sometimes she has to remind herself w younger trainees coming in she’s being seen as more of an example and needs to be ~serious~!!

the duality is real !! in performances, sad / angry scenes are actually her specialty, and right after she’ll just spring up and smile like what’s up guys !!! a lil creepy when she goes from sobbing to giggling so she’s learned to transition a little better lmao !!

she always wanted to be a youtuber, but never got the chance, and by the time she joined legacy she wasn’t allowed to have an account. so now she has these little vlogs she does to send her parents ! they’re mainly of her getting ready, hanging out with friends, and practicing ( all out of training hours, ofc ) so she can often be found seemingly talking to herself, even though she’s really recording videos !! 

though being an idol wasn’t her initial dream, she adores the music. her love for the kpop genre has made the last few years more bearable, and girl crush concepts are her absolute favorite !! she’s been religiously keeping up w future dreams like she’s still just a fan back at home, and you’ll catch her humming all around the company building !!

in fact, prior to joining legacy, she had a fan blog for all her faves where she would provide commentary called ri raves !! it was ... a sight !! 

she’s pansexual, and leaning towards girls !! it’s something she’s really shy about sharing bc of the fear of judgment, but if she tells you know you have all her trust !!

a little spoiled tbh !! she’s got the youngest child syndrome BAD, and since she was the only girl she’s used to things being done for her !! not in the bratty way, it’s just made her a little lazy and she loooooves attention and being doted on.

don’t let her appearance fool you though !! she’s got surprising strength ... strong woman do bong soon’s not her favorite show for no reason !!! all those years of defending herself from her brothers’ teasing had to come in handy, you know ?? we’ve got a black belt in hapkido here folks !!

definition of a theatre kid, starts bursting out into songs she loves out of nowhere omg it’s embarrassing ?? also overreacts about everything omg the world is on fire according to her !! she’s gotta faint dramatically !!!

she’s got the jeolla-do dialect, and prior to working on her standard dialect it was veeery prominent ! it makes her say a lot of words differently than someone from seoul might, and after realizing she was one of the only ones with it she’s been trying to make her speech sound more like standard korean nowadays.

she’s taken up sewing from her mom, and especially loves embroidery !! so she always loves upcycling & spicing her outfits up !!

definitely has a unique fashion sense because of it - in addition to that she’s very frugal, and favors thrifted clothing !! she’s got a mix of vintage, chic, and artsy style !

 a rule follower !! veeery unlike max, she tends to stick to the rules out of fear of what will happen if she doesn’t, because she has way too much on the line to quit now !

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 :

acting buddies ?? i know there aren’t too many, but even if that’s not your muse’s preferred career path, any muses who have a passion for theatre are welcomed as well !!

someone who unlike her, is v wild and lives on the crazier side !! she’s constantly going into a responsible panic when they’re around and they’re always trying to get her to loosen up !!

someone who co-stars in her little vlogs to her family !! hey, if you can’t be youtubers for real you might as well pretend, right ??

someone who made her adjustment to seoul easier as she transitioned from country to city life !! they’ve lived in seoul for a long time / their whole life and know all the best spots to show her !!

someone who’s clothing she likes to spice up, she’s always embroidering or adding pattern to their clothes to give their outfit a little flair !

someone who knows her past her happy side, who she’s got on speed dial whenever she’s feeling down and needs someone to talk to, and vice versa !!

someone who she came out too, be it on purpose or by accident, and it’s caused her to grow really attached to them bc it’s one of the most personal things about her !

a girl she’s got a crush on but is terrified to tell !!! like yes you’re pretty .... but these things are never easy !!! she’s gonna tell you .... eventually !!

and ofc - exes, flirtationships, summer loves, anything of the sort !

someone she lowkey fangirls over ?? she still hasn’t accepted the fact that she & the other trainees are kinda on the same level, someone she’s kind of became a fan of and can’t really function around them ??

by some crazy chance, this person has come across her old kpop fan blog at one time or another and won’t !!! let !!! her !!! live !!! it !!! down !!! will you accept her bribe and swear to never bring it up again ??? please ???

someone she doesn’t like ??? this is v rare but ... for one reason or another, she can’t stand them and transforms to a completely diff person around them !!

someone who made the mistake of teasing her a little too much or insulted her so much that she just straight-up tries to take them down !!! v unexpectedly !! bonus if it’s someone way out of her fighting capabilities !!

more ideas coming when i create an official plots page !!

[autisticstarseed]

if u could, perhaps, bless us with all the applicable symbols from that fic ask for hvh 👀

ooOoOOOoOO Rub s gay hands togehter omg ty friend 😍;;;;;;

💡 - What was the motivation behind the story?

hHH i hadnt written in 10+ years so when i latched onto this plot idea i just thought itd be a good time to jump the shark and try it again !! i just wanted smth really edgy and depthful bc im emo and the rest kind of snowballed

💎- What was your favorite part?

osdlfksd;lf it’s hard to pick a fav but the drunk scene was definitely the most fun to write at least

⛰️-  What was the hardest part?

THE SCENE WHERE THE GANG IS KIDNAPPED BY ENKI,,,, i debated toning down the violence but in the end i knew where the story was going (and where its still going) and that its gonNA be kinda dark so why hold back now ig

🎭- What was the feeling or mood you were going for?

BITTERSWEET AF,,, sort of just treading the line of ‘hopeful’ and ‘hopeless’ at all times to fully portray the feeling of being at your lowest, but with that classic tss ‘silver linings just around the corner’ kind of undertone

🏟️- Who was your intended audience?

mostly all the adults that watched tss as a kid and felt like spirituaLLY MOVED BY IT cuz i really tried to tap into that Emotion Tee Em we all felt when we found out that zak was [redacted]

🔬- Was there one scene you were building up to/knew you had to get just right?

hHH theres actually a LOT of scenes like that and i think a lot of my general motivation to keep going comes from that ‘WAIT FOR IT WAIT FOR IT’ vibe slkdf:SDF but the Plot Twist tm in the latest chapter was definitely a big’n, and theres a few more of those still to come :^)

🗝️ - What were you thinking when you wrote it?

kjdjFSDs:DF tbh whenever i start really writing, [’im shifting into soup mode’ seinfeld meme voice] im shifting into maladaptive daydreaming mode

🎥- Were there any tv shows, books, or movies that influenced this verse, if any?

:^) devilman crybaby pls forgive me for everytHing

📈- Was there a clear character arch you wanted____ character to go on?

i actually have a short list of what i somewhat consider to be the story arcs in my notes !! mostly just for organization and obvs i wont list the future ones but so far we’ve seen the kushtaka arc, the enki arc, and now we’re in what i call ‘the annunaki’ arc.

🎢- Were there any scenes you were nervous about? For audience reception or otherwise?

ALL OF IT JSHDJSKD, but again a lot of the enki scenes i was worried would be too edgy TM, and the whole annunaki plot as well i was worried might be too ‘out there’ for ppl, but it takes the story exactly where i always wanted it and lines everything up perfectly so i went for it lol. i was also ofc worried if people would like ila or not bc oc but most ppl love her actually which is so 😭❤️

☠️- Did you consider killing off any of the characters? Did you?

8^) [mickey mouse voice] this is a surprise tool that will help us later ,

✉️- Did you title your chapters? What title do you like best?

yes! the next one actually has my favorite chapter title yet, but so far i like ‘so strikes the harpoon’ since its a throwback to the first couple chapters

☀️- Was there symbolism/motifs you worked in?

o every single paragraph is an overly thought out middle school poem im entering in the talent show actually

🎵- Did you have a playlist/piece of music that went with this story?

Yes !! i have HVH insp part 1, Part 2, and an extra one for all those songs that have the vibes but just dont fit enough to make sense in a playlist

📜-Do you want to write something like this again in the future?

probably ! ive learned i definitely like the edgy/darker and emotionally driven stories with ongoing plot, so that trend will almost definitely continue. idk if ill write a dystopia again anytime soon, but i think my future stuff will at least retain that long and heavy vibe

💁- Did readers influence/change any part of this story?

oh yEA like basically i was ready to quit after the very first chapter before it was even written and kinda just got it all out on a whim of motivation but was expecting to flake on it like i tend to do with projects, but the invested response to it was just so uplifting that its what ive been riding on all ten chapters and im so grateful for it :’)))

✏️-Would you go back and change anything if you could?

hHHHHHHH yes and ok this is terrible but i actually tend to avoid re-reading my older chapters until i hAVe to bc i suffer from that sO much ,,, , its just little things like tiny words i wanna change or bits i wanna take out/put in and once or twice ive even caught a mistake or plot hole/smth i forgot to add that i rly do have to go back and edit and i just turn to dust every tim e

⭐- What’s a scene/paragraph you’re proud of?

i really liked the northern lights scene!! it was meant to be a pivotal moment of that ‘bittersweetness’ vibe i was talking abt and it was another one of those scenes i had been planning for a while;;;

“ I think of how much the rest of the family would love this. This isn’t like the moon and the sun, where I can see it and know that even if it looks different, they’ll see the same one soon enough, wherever they are. This reminds me only that I am not with them. It stings. It seems unnatural for something so gentle and natural to appear before us as if we aren’t in complete, total fucking chaos. After all we’ve been through, and the sky still dances. “

📣-What was the best piece of encouragement you got?

AVERY ALL OF UR LIVEBL OGS AND COMMENTS GIV ME SUCH L I FE, ,, ,, CRYIGN CAT FA ce

🔦-Did you learn anything while writing it? About yourself? Writing?

isdfhSDF YEs, part of my hesitation to write came from this thing where i always just assumed there was a wildly high standard of writing in fandom spaces like in original literature spaces, where you had to have like 10+ sentences to a paragraph and you had to describe every tiny detail of a setting and you had to follow every single grammar rule or it was unreadable but like. genuinely its like sculpting with words as long as you have a shape ppl get the idea which is such a weight off my shoulders lol, its still a lot of work but so much fun to know i can to an extent do what i want and ppl actually like it like that. i also learned that like most other writers i have to cause my favs emotional and physical pain,

🎁- Any writing advice for people who want to write something like this?

hhHHHH 1. please do it its so fun just give in to the edge my guy , 2. try to get comfortable re-reading your chapters, for me its like when ppl listen to themselves sing/act but im trying to do better bc its so much more consistent when i keep it fresh in my mind and it also boosts confidence when u can pick out the things u like instead of the things u dont, 3. trying to have at least one scene in mind for each chapter that ur excited to write so u can have motivation to update faster! for me it doesnt have to be smth i think would excite the audience either like it could be the most basic thing but just having an idea of it and knowing i want to see it come to life rly helps me stay on top of it all

TY SM FRIEND THIS WAS SO FUN x x )

[leondraisaitlsglove]

Transcript: Peter and Leon Draisaitl in a double interview ahead of the NHL Global Series Challenge

[This is a little rough, yo. Obviously not an exact translation but I tried to stay as true to the original wording as possible while getting the general meaning across properly. The result is a bit stilted. Rick Goldmann (interviewer) speaks a dialect that obviously doesn’t translate here and Peter mumbles a bit in places so I had to take some liberties there. The general tone of the interview is jokey and casual, Leon and his dad are bantering, but there’s heartfelt and serious bits too! I also chose to keep ‘Papa’ (dad) and ‘Mama’ (mom) in their original German bc I think it’s cute, lol. But anyway, YEET! Let me know what you think. Theres two lil McDrai moments in there if you squint.]

I LOVE YOU ANON THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY MCFREAKING DAY IM GONNA READ IT NOW AND THEN SOUND OFF IN THE TAGS WHEN IM DONE. THANK YOU. YOUR HARD WORK IS VERY APPERICATED.

This is the interview for anyone wondering

Rick Goldmann: Welcome, Peter and Leon Draisaitl, to what I’m going to call a ‘family interview‘ here on Sport1 [channel name]. I’m guessing this kind of interview, a double interview, has been done more frequently recently now that you [Peter] are the coach in Cologne [of the Kölner Haie ‘Cologne Sharks’, Colognes Hockey team in the DHL, the German pro Hockey league] and you [Leon] are here [in Cologne]. How often has this happened so far?

Peter: Not really that often. We’ve maybe done it one or two times, three maximum. It hasn’t been that many times.

Leon: Yes [agreeing noises]

RG: So you’re not getting tired of it?

L: Not yet, no. I think we still have quite a bit of that ahead of us in the following days, especially before the game.

P: Yes.

RG: Let’s just start at the beginning. You could say that you two spent the summer here in Cologne together. What did that look like?

Peter: Leon spent two bigger chunks of time in Prague, where he prepared with his trainer. We took a vacation together for three weeks, in Spain. When we were in Cologne, he [Leon] trained here with us [the Kölner Haie] to get ready, both ‘dry’ [gym etc.] training and going out on the ice with us. [Starts grinning] But by now he’s hanging out with the boys more rather than spending time at home with us.

PG: So when you’re in Cologne, Leon, you stay with your Papa?

L: Yes, with my parents.

RG: Who’s responsible for cooking? Not you.

L: Not me, no. [Huffs] Certainly not me. Mama, mostly, when we eat at home.

RG: Okay. But you went on vacation together. You did that together this summer. It’s been a brutally hot summer. I heard you actually don’t enjoy water that much. Is that true? If yes, how did you even survive?

L: Where did you hear that?

RG: Maybe I didn’t come prepared.

L: No, it’s true, I’m not much of a … I mean I do like cooling off, but if I do it’s more likely to be in a pool rather than the big open sea where you never know what’s swimming around underneath you.

RG: So you respect the ocean?

L: Yeah, for sure.

P: I could prove that with a picture or two.

RG: Where did that come from? Has that been the case since he was little?

P: Hmm. Yeah, actually, he was still wearing those little red … what’s the word?

L: Water wings.

P: …water wings or whatever they’re called, and he already didn’t trust the water back then. And he has kept that up to this day.

RG: [Jokingly] Did you not inflate them properly?

P: [Laughs] That’s certainly possible.

RG: I’ve heard something else along with you not liking the water – that in juniors, you actually didn’t play hockey for a year. [Leon nods] How did that happen and what did you think of that, Peter?

L: Yeah I mean my parents were actually pretty… they essentially supported me in whatever… from the beginning it was clear that if I didn’t like Hockey, it wouldn’t be a big problem. I essentially tried out every sport; I’ve played golf, I’ve played tennis… I experimented a lot, and there was a time when Hockey for me was – I think it was actually because we were moving house, moving house a lot annoyed me about Hockey so I stopped playing for a year and played soccer, but it turned out that wasn’t for me [chuckles].

P: [Chuckling]

RG: [to Peter] What did you think? He’s not a soccer player? Or did you not care?

P: Let’s be serious for a while: If he had stuck with soccer, that would’ve been fine for us. We realized, or learned, or understood early on that there’s no sense in pressuring your children into it. Just because I was stomping around somewhere sometime [aka playing hockey], that doesn’t mean he absolutely has to do the same thing. If he had told me; ‘Papa, golf, tennis suits me more’ that would have been…

Leon: Fencing.

P: …been fine for our family. Fencing, sure. With your motor skills… I don’t think so. [Leon grins] It would’ve been okay. I don’t remember, was it even a full year?

L: I don’t know either. Not sure if it was a whole year.

P: He dipped his toes into it, at Fortuna was it?

L: [Offended] That’s Fortuna Düsseldorf. It was Victoria Köln.

P: Or Victoria. No idea.

L: Victoria Köln, yes.

P: But I think that stopped after a few weeks or so.

L: Because they wouldn’t let me take the free kick once, yeah.

RG: That made you not want to do it anymore?

L: Yeah, I lost my motivation after that.

[All laugh]

P: He came back to Hockey after that.

RG: If there’s a list of things you guys don’t want to hear anymore: How far up there is ‘The German Gretzky?’

L: You mean as a nickname?

RG: Yeah, that people call you that.

L: Ehhh, Actually… I try to distance myself from that a little bit, nicknames and all that. Stuff like that tends to come from the media anyway, and if they enjoy writing stuff like that, whatever, go ahead.

RG: Of course it comes from the media, but you still notice it. As a former player I’d say how do you come up with bullshit like that, but they need their headlines. When you heard it the first time, what did you think about it, Peter?

P: As I’m sure you can imagine I wasn’t exactly thrilled with it, because it puts unnecessary pressure on the young guys. Like everyone in this sport knows, there has only ever been one and there will only ever be one [Wayne Gretzky], and that comparison with the name alone already isn’t fair. And in the end it doesn’t even make any sense. But it’s actually pretty cool that Leon is able to – and has always been able to – absorb stuff like that and then put it aside. He doesn’t dwell on it when he generates headlines like that, generates ‘hype’ like that, as it’s already happened in the past, with the junior draft and the NHL draft, interviews and so forth. So far he’s always handled it pretty professionally.

RG: You’ve brought up an interesting aspect: the mental aspect in professional sports. Especially now with how Hockey has developed, maybe in comparison with other players in the DHL, in Europe, with the NHL - what kind of importance does it have for you? The ‘mental strength’ as some people call it?

L: In my personal opinion, over 90% of it takes place in your head. Without wanting to disrespect anyone, when I train with the guys here: they’re not slower – well maybe when compared to someone like McDavid – but generally they’re not slower, their shooting isn’t worse than that of the guys I train with overseas, but in my opinion it’s something in your head. It’s all mental games, mental stuff that plays a huge role in Hockey, and in sports in general.

RG: [to Peter] If you think back to your career and you compare it to Leons, what would you like to have that he does and you didn’t?

P: If you move beyond the fact that times were different back then – no videos, no social media – the NHL was so far removed from us for most players, and definitely for me, that I wasn’t even thinking about it. But putting that aside, maybe his maturity or his mental strength. Because I figured out pretty late what this sport was about, I wasted years of my time playing hockey by not taking it seriously as a team sport, not knowing what it meant to be part of a greater whole. Where I needed to position myself to be actually useful. And he [Leon] understood that much earlier.

RG: If you had to describe him as a player how would you do that?

P: As someone who … maybe partially already is, but will definitely succeed in being a dominant two-way player. Who, with his skills, should be able to carry a line, to lead and direct a group of five players. Moreover he has the ability to score - to set up plays and also score himself. I don’t think I’m wrong when I say that Leon is developing that way. I think that’s his overarching goal he wants to reach, so he can compete with the superstars of our sport. People like Crosby, who have already won tons of stuff, who have proven not just once but over and over again that when it really counts, they can bring it.

RG: [to Leon] How would you rate that evaluation by a coach, by your Papa?

L: He knows me, of course. He knows that it’s my goal to get there someday, to be a two-way forward that can score goals but who doesn’t think he’s above doing the dirty work defensively. Who takes important face-offs and who’s a complete, all around good hockey player.

RG: Leon, this year was the first time you’ve done your prep work in Cologne. How did that happen and why did you choose to do your training camp for the NHL season in Germany?

L: I’m from here. I grew up here. This is the perfect scene for me, and with my dad as a coach here, it gives me every opportunity to prepare successfully and well. A weight room, I can go on the ice, every day, use the gym every day, so that’s a no brainer for me.

RG: When you’re on the ice here, your Papa is the coach. What’s that situation like for you, when he’s the one blowing the whistle?

L: [Grinning] By now I’ve gotten used to it a little. Since I’ve always kind of done it like that over the years, that I go train wherever my dad happens to be at the time. Sometimes when he gets a little louder it’s a bit weird for me, because I only know my Papa from what he’s like at home, talking shit, joking around. So when it gets serious all of a sudden… but other than that it’s pretty normal. I know it’s a business, I know this is his job and I’m smart enough to separate that from home life.

RG: So I guess that means when you were little, you were just like all the other kids, following your dad into the locker room and getting to know Hockey like that. Was it essentially a pre-decided thing that you’d get into hockey yourself?

L: If you follow basic logic, of course that had something to do with it. I don’t know, a couple of weeks ago I saw pictures of me where I could barely walk and was wearing a giant red helmet and gloves that were half my…

P: And a pacifier, don’t forget that. A pacifier.

L: …half my entire body size. So of course I got into it via my dad. But I think the passion, to a certain degree, you have to develop yourself.

RG: When you think back, what’s the first thing you remember of your dad in regards to Hockey?

L: For me, the coolest thing was after the game when the kids were allowed to come down and onto the ice and were handed over the glass by one of the parents. Then taking a victory lap with Papa, that was the best… I always loved that.

P: And my back check at Schalke.

L: And his back check at Schalke in 2010, that was also…

P: Formative. Formative, definitely.

L: I’ll never forget that.

RG: Your back check at Schalke?

P: Yeah, I burned my equipment after that. Before the game there was a match against the Grasbrunner (?) guys, a pre-game.

RG: At the World Cup Germany were hosting? In front of 70000 people?

P: Exactly, yeah. That was when I realized…

L: Let it go. Hang them up.

P: Stop playing.

L: Give it up.

P: And that was the last time I played a hockey game.

RG: Oh, really?

P: Yeah.

RG: Mine too, by the way.

P: There you go.

RG: I saw you and thought to myself: better not try again.

P: That’s it, now it’s over.

RG: When did you realize what kind of talent Leon had, the potential he had?

P: The first time I thought it could be enough for a higher level was when I was overseas at Prince Albert and it was starting to look likely he’d get drafted at the junior draft, or rather the NHL draft, relatively highly. And then you obviously have the hope, if you’re talking about the first round or something, that he could end up in the best league, in the NHL.

RG: [to Leon] You’re 22 years old, turning 23, how much would you say have you reached your potential as a hockey player?

L: I’d say I have a lot more in me. Or rather, I know I have a lot more to give. At 22 no Hockey player, no athlete is at the point he can reach by 26, 27, 28. It’s a process I’m looking forward too, but I also know it’s very hard work. I’ll try to get better and better each year.

RG: Now there’s going to be this game, the global series that’s taking place here. The game was sold out within 10 minutes. When did you first find out there would be the opportunity to play against an NHL team as a coach here in Cologne?

P: I don’t remember, or I somehow… [Leon murmuring] excuse me?

L: I think it was through me.

P: That’s possible. I think at first I didn’t even realize it. I heard about the Oilers playing here, I thought it was a joke at first. When it became official I thought okay, well, this is a fact now. Again, for ‘Kölle’ [nickname for the city in the regional accent] this game, and the winter game later in the season, are huge, fantastic events awaiting us. I think this event, this game against the Oilers will be really fun for everyone involved.

RG: The global series, Leon, to explain the basics, what’s the idea behind it? Why does the NHL play games abroad, in Europe?

L: I think it’s to push markets in countries where Hockey isn’t as popular. To increase the importance of Hockey worldwide, and especially in countries where it’s relatively unknown, like China, like Germany, I don’t know where else. Or in smaller countries, to push the sport. I think the NHL is doing a really good job, and I personally really like that they’re doing these kinds of matches. I think for the DHL teams as well, or with New Jersey in Switzerland, for the Swiss teams, it’s a highlight and everyone is looking forward to it.

RG: In this game, Edmonton Oilers vs. Kölner Haie, how important is the Draisaitl vs. Draisaitl duel? It’s not every day you get the chance to beat your dad, and it’s not every day you get to coach against an NHL team either.

P: Well this is going to be his only chance, because in table tennis and every other game [Leon protests by puffing up his cheeks and laughing] he can’t keep up, so maybe Wednesday will be the only time he gets the opportunity. But I don’t see them beating us yet.

L: [Grinning, then mock-serious] This is going to be one of many times I’ll beat my dad, in various things. No, like he said, it’s going to be an outstanding event, for our family it’s going to be special as well. And I think for them [Kölner Haie] it will be the hardest, I think they don’t quite know what’s in store for them yet. Being neutral is [unintelligible]

RG: If you absolutely had to pick a player from Edmonton to play with the Kölner Haie – and you have to, otherwise you’d say you wouldn’t take any – you need to take one.

P: I have to, yes.

RG: Who would you pick?

P: He would start right now? For the season?

RG: Yeah, exactly. Who do you pick?

P: I’ll have to think for a little bit. There’s quite a few who are… I would have to decide between McDavid and Leon. But you only want one.

RG: Yeah, and why you’d pick him. Who and for what reason.

P: I’d pick McDavid. Leon will have to deal with that.

L: [Mockingly] Incomprehensible. Can’t understand that choice.

P: He needs to be strong now.

RG: if you had to pick one for Edmonton – one of the Cologne guys.

L: From the Cologne team. Hmm. [clicks his tongue] Pfohli [Fabio Pfohl]. I think he has the potential. His Hockey IQ is on a really high level. In my opinion it should be his goal to play in the NHL.

P: Okay.

RG: [to Peter] You’ll stick with your choice? McDavid?

P: [nodding]

L: [grinning, shaking his head] Can’t understand that.

[All laughing]

RG: Okay, thank you!

[etlivnheart]

( cody fern, demi male, he/him, fire emblem: three houses ) * &. i know it must be scary for you, dimitri alexandre blaiddyd, after not surviving the takeover. to turn into someone like dimitri a. baker, a twenty-four year-old housekeeper at cozy corner inn & cafe, right here in castle town. just remember that you are as chivalrous as you are misguided, and to be wary, be safe, be true to who you are : heroic through and through. ( back on my bullshit ) 

           alright folks I hope y’all are ready to STRAP YOURSELVES IN bc hoooooooly hell do I have a lot to say abt this kid. he was the muse I originally planned to bring in alongside Zelda when CT first opened for apps bt then I,,, had seconds thots and picked up A Thot sooo. back to square one and I can tELL ALREADY I’ve made a good decision. More under the cut pls but beware of FE3H Blue Lions spoilers !!

⁠— BEFORE CASTLE TOWN

Alright so I’m gonna say this now : Dimitri’s general backstory is no walk in the park , and for some , it may be triggering. I’m going to warn you that this bit will contain some content relating to mental illness ( not named specifically in-game but most prominently ptsd & depression ) , violence/war , and ( parental ) death.

So Dimitri is the crown prince of the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus - a wintry kingdom in Northern Fodlan. When you meet him , he’s a student at Garreg Mach Monastery’s Officers Academy & the head of his homeland’s respective house , the Blue Lions.

And at first glance - Dimitri is a fucking sweetheart and he’s diligent , kind , maybe a little cautious especially around fragile objects and there’s always some... allusions that there’s way more to him than this Disney Prince air he seems to carry.

Yeah... there is.

So Dimitri. His parents ( father & stepmother ) died in an incident known as the Tragedy of Duscur where Faerghus’ king and queen were killed , many people died ( including the elder brother of Dimitri’s childhood friend , Felix ) , and the people of Duscur were blamed for it. Ever since , Dimitri’s trauma & survivor’s guilt has only been left to fester and settle to the point where he believes he won’t be able to be at peace until he fulfills revenge for those who passed - to the point where he claims he can also see the ghosts of the dead , ushering him to avenge them.

This tends to manifest in a side of Dimitri that makes him a fierce warrior on the battlefield. But this doesn’t really show full force until the timeskip rolls around , Byleth disappears , and Dimitri’s lost his final crutch and it’s pretty much at this point where his life takes a major turn for the worse - yeah this kid can’t catch a break.

He becomes more and more obsessed with the idea of revenge now that there’s a clear enemy in sight and he constantly is scared of failing his lost loved ones if he can’t succeed in taking her down. He’s been on his own with no-one to hang onto since he thinks his best buddy - who he saved from Duscur - is dead and so many people think he’s dead and once he’s found he’s not the same as in the beginning. He’s now tenfold sucked into that one objective until someone else he loves is lost and normally you think that would only make it worse. But it doesn’t. Since now Byleth’s there.

Byleth’s assistance and compassion teaches him that he can also live for the living and himself rather than focus on only those he lost - and that is what they’d want for him, too. So throughout the rest of the game he reverts back to how he was similarly in the beginning of the game - less aggressive & impulsive and more careful & considerate ( and back to being your typical sweetie ) and he realizes his actions during that period were wrong and he’s willing to atone rather than wallow in his own negativity - and it’s through help him others that he begins to walk a better path and gets his own happy ending in the story ; he learns to forgive and to give chances, even though sometimes those chances are tossed back in his face.

DIMITRI, AS A CHARACTER,,, REALLY MEANS THE WORLD TO ME ( as sb who has ptsd & depression myself ) and his development in my opinion ( since now I’m closing in on all four routes ) is probably the most drastic & in depth of the three lords. 

He does have some issues that he recognizes & comes to terms with seeking help with once he realizes that he’s deserving of it - since Dimitri’s whole thing is that he doesn’t think he’s deserving of anyone’s kindness or love or help or compassion thanks to his own grief & guilt. 

He will give you the shirt off his back and he’s definitely not someone who enjoys being seen on a higher level than others and he’s so human in the sense that he’s one of the only people in Faerghus who refuses to believe Duscur was orchestrated by the Duscurian people. He saves Dedue - who devotes his entire life to him - but only wishes for Dedue to see him as a friend. He just wants a friend.

Some facts !

I forget what the exact word for it is but Dimitri can’t taste anything except... cheese?? Is that it?? Is that where the cheese thing come from?? Yeah basically he can’t taste anything.

He possesses the Crest of Blaiddyd which enhances his strength to superhuman levels to the point where, when he was only eight years old, he snapped a sword clean in half on accident.

Again I will say he’s a major sweetie & I highly recommend at least reading through some of his supports since my god all of them are... so good. I fucking love Dimitri.

Also he’s bi because I fucking said so and it’s a CRIME you can’t s-rank him as both masculine & feminine Byleth.

⁠— BEFORE CASTLE TOWN

SOOOOO Mitya here is a housekeeper at Cozy Corner Inn. He didn’t survive the takeover - but his memories are returning at a quicker pace than that of my other character who didn’t survive, Zelda, as Dimitri’s already beginning to see glimpses of his past throughout dreams

...well, mainly nightmares unfortunately : ( but you get the drill

He has a lot of really awful nightmares but once in a while he dreams of this dark-haired person with a smile that no-one else has and it puts him... at ease whenever he wakes up

I also imagine he routinely volunteers at local shelters or centres or the like just because it’s very In-Character for him to do so

I DON’T HAVE,,, A LOT OF WHAT HIS LIFE IS LIKE IN CT AS OF RN but even tho his eye is never explained in-game he thinks in CT the scar he got over it was from a cat ahsushauhshs

love tht

ANYWAY YEAH IM GONNA WORK ON SAM’S INTRO SOOOOOOOOON but we’ll see if exhaustion doesn’t hit me first

pls gimme byleth i’ll cry

[luobingmeis]

Is it dumb that I keep putting off finishing Taz balance? I love it so much but I've never got past the end of petals to the metal because I get scared I'm not appreciating it enough or that I'm not ready for the really emotional stuff coming up so I relisten to everything up until then and the cycle repeats. You only get to hear it for the first time once y'know? And I want to finish it, but I don't want it to be finished and I feel like I'm overthinking it but I can't help it. Any thoughts?

oh anon, i understand you completely

first, let me tell you that one of my best friends started listening to taz over the summer, like, back in august, maaaaybe the end of july. after hearing him talk abt it, he was part of the reason i started listening to it in november. when im abt to start the finale abt two weeks later, i text him and find out that he’s relistened to the show three times and still hadn’t gotten through the finale bc he didn’t want it to end, and finally listened to it only bc i was, too. so, trust me, you’re not alone in not wanting it to end!!!

i was the same way too, tbh. by the time i got the “crystal kingdom” and heard griffin actually say, “oh yeah, we’re halfway done,” i was actually really sad about that, you know? which was weird, bc never have i actually been sad knowing that something’s gonna come to an end? like, yeah, finales or final books or whatever tend to get me emotional, but i tend to not think abt it? so taz was different in that, too, and i understand not wanting it to end. like, hell, im mad excited to listen to amnesty, but i had to listen to taz balance again bc i wasn’t ready for it to be over

and with the not appreciating it thing, i also completely get that. going into listening to taz, i knew that some pretty big and emotional things were gonna happen, so i’d be listening to, like, “murder on the rockport limited” and be thinking in the back of my head, “but, wait, what if i’m not appreciating this obscure dialogue exchange enough and and and-” and, honestly, not only did it make it hard to focus, but it, ironically, made it hard to appreciate it??? like, let me tell you that, as you progress further in the story, you’re just gonna Start appreciating it. not saying that you aren’t now!!! but that “appreciating” when you sit back in your chair and just go “holy shit” while listening to it.

like, don’t get me wrong, i loved listening to taz balance the entire time!! i thought “here there be gerblins” and “murder on the rockport limited” were hysterical (and cried laughing many times) and i really liked the racing aspect of “petals to the metal” and spent a lot of it on the edge of my seat, but, honestly, it wasn’t until the end of “petals to the metal” that i was invested bc, w/ that ending, i finally had that “holy shit” moment

like, trust me, i get what you’re saying bc i was the same way. i was nervous that i wasn’t appreciating it enough bc i heard everyone talking abt how moving the story was and how emotional it made them and i was like, “what if this random moment in “rockport limited” is one of those moments???” but like, just let the podcast happen!! like, w/out spoilers, there’s this Thing that happens in the last lunar interlude that, in my opinion, is one of the most shocking “holy shit” moments of the entire story. like, when i first heard it, i was on a bus going home from a swim meet and i had to cover my mouth to stop from losing my shit in front of my team mates omg. so, like, obvi it was a moment i wouldn’t forget. so, two or three days ago, i’m relistening to that same episode while im driving around the beach and i Know it’s happening and i Know it’s coming and, when it happened, i still freaked out and shouted abt it (alone in my car lmao) and hit my steering wheel a couple times bc of how much i fucking love that moment

so, like, trust me, where you’re at, you’re good to continue on bc you’re naturally gonna start getting so much more invested than you already are (please don’t think im “bashing” the first couple arcs, i think the entire show is amazing) and it’s gonna get very emotionally-inducing and, like, my advice is to finish it bc Holy Shit like not many stories have hit me like taz has........ like ngl, it’s on the same level as the song of achilles for me (which, idk if you know me, but that’s a pretty big deal) and like, for once, i don’t think this is just my “this is my current obsession so of course i think it’s amazing” thing, taz balance is an Actually Amazing And Breathtaking Story

also yeah the emotions get Heavy at the end. im a very emotional person in general but i don’t think i necessarily cry easily, or at least it takes a lot for a piece of media to make me cry (like, A Lot), and i cried throughout the final 20 minutes of the taz balance finale and then another 15 minutes afterwards and that was only bc i actively worked to calm myself down lmao

oh my god this got so long im so sorry, i just talk A Lot

basically, moral of my ted talk: i get what you’re saying, you’re gonna naturally start getting more and more invested and “appreciating” it more, and the emotions get heavy, but it’s so fucking good and beautiful and i 10/10 recommend finishing it

[cometkins]

random ravnica dnd thots kozy you can read if you want

just thinking about ilya and his romantic relationships As Usual and i just kinda wanted to talk at the air about them to organize my own thoughts bc i care about One Thing. kozy if you’re reading this it will be stream of consciousness and good luck getting anything out of this lmao

obvs i know what i want as endgame which is for ilya and danny to get together bc i very much enjoy the idea of two very traumatized people working together so they can heal past it with a level of understanding that people who haven’t been through the same things won’t have bc like. yeah we love mutual growth and understanding in relationships. pretty poggers

their traumas are not the same and are awful in different ways but i would say they’re both like. equally fucked up from it. ilya is barely fresh off of years of awful physical abuse (not to mention the continued verbal/emotional abuse at the hands of his mother and guild at large) and danny isn’t even out of the hospital last we checked on him with the barest hint of a will to live after losing all of his life’s work and his job and also being paralyzed and like.

i am trying to figure out how to get them to even bond in the first place bc while i as the player know what i want i don’t think ilya as a character does yet. like. ilya currently cares about danny and spending time with him if only bc he feels responsible for convincing him to jump out of his spaceship to try and be saved and seeing how despondent he is rn has him feeling some level of guilt and compulsion to try and comfort him. it’s weird to remember sometimes since ilya is such a selfish asshole most of the time but he is a healer and likes being a healer and it’s in his nature to do so. as much as orzhov is a very black magic guild it is still also a white magic guild, you know. the white magic part of ilya wants to help danny be better, even if right now it’s very motivated by guilt over something deeper. i just think it can be deeper

but anyway, ilya has spent the past 4-ish years wanting to escape his shitty abusive marriage to the point of being ready to jump out a window before father alexei yanked him off the sill and dragged him fully outside the church so he couldn’t do it and the only thought in his head that gave him any reason or will to live was the potential of seeing sarren again and being with him because it was way better than being choked out every day of his life

so ngl him being pretty much banned from seeing or interacting with sarren has him doing Very Bad but having the new goal of torturing and killing nikolai and having people thank him for it is what’s helping him deal with THAT but anyway

ilya is still (currently) very much of the mind that he wants to try and make things work with sarren again because he still genuinely loves him a lot but i think after years and years of abuse and building up this past relationship in his mind he kind of has rose tinted glasses on wrt sarren in general. sarren not seeming to remember how he treated ilya already has ilya slipping back into old feelings of resentment and the fact that he’s not putting in enough effort (in ilya’s mind) to see him again and spend time with him has him feeling hurt. we haven’t rp’d the scene out yet but the fact that sarren even showed up to their secret meeting probably shocked ilya a lot. i think ilya would’ve been willing to wait the entire day and night to see sarren but he wouldn’t have been very happy about it. i think (whether true or not) ilya feels like sarren is ashamed to be seen with him to some degree, since he’s poor and a pariah within his guild and sarren prioritizes his work and keeping up appearances. being seen with ilya is almost shameful despite the fact that they were married

but regardless, his relationship with and marriage to sarren was ilya’s first glimpse into the idea that people could treat him well and actually genuinely care about him but he also still feels like he can’t really hope to ask for more than the neglect sarren gave him? ilya feels ugly and worthless most days and the fact that sarren was ever interested in him still shocks him. i imagine a lot of marriages in the orzhov are political/arranged ones like the one he had with nikolai so the idea of having a loving relationship is already super foreign as a concept to him.

idk how he and danny might end up but i like to think it’s one that could be better than what he had with sarren even in small ways.

im still trying to figure out how ilya might get danny to even begin to warm up to him and rn he’s kind of just hanging out in his hospital room reading and bringing him food and books so he has anything else to eat or do and so he knows that at least somebody seems to care about him enough to be around him? but i think i might have ilya bring him cigarettes next time he can visit to really get him to crack. i don’t think ilya likes them from a healer perspective but if it’ll help danny cope that’s fine enough for now.

will prob go with celeste to make sure he can get his job back or at least be able to work in celeste’s lab bc if she’s leading shit why can’t she pick her own employees damn fuck u zir wackass ableist bitch

but yeah. idk man i go back and forth on if ilya will really be happy with either man and sometimes i wonder if maybe he couldn’t just be with both bc he has two hands but i also do think that unless ilya and sarren can really have the time to make up and be together ilya will pull back, esp if sarren doesn’t vastly improve from how he was before, and that’s hard when they can’t even be with each other in a meaningful capacity rn. i tend to feel that if your relationship was super bad before that unless there’s been major growth between the both of you that it won’t work if you try to get back together. idk if ilya has exactly done any growing but he wasn’t necessarily why the marriage fell apart in the first place so. big shrug.

danny and ilya haven’t really interacted enough for me to say what will be good and bad, i just have Ideas for how i’d like them to be and envision how things could go but what i expect and what happens almost never lines up so. we’ll see w them. i don’t think they’ll make much progress until they like. talk. i’ve joked about how they’re two people that would be comfortable spending entire days together in utter and complete silence like utter crazy men and i do think that can still be true when they’re actually together but yknow. they need to get to know each other more first lol.....

it’s hard to plan for how i want to try and have them interact when i’m getting hit with a brick wall but i’m stubborn and persistent and will not be swayed from my efforts :’))) it’ll happen

[scojinri]

so i’m back !! with more on jeju’s resident Mess™ and if only i had everything set up accordingly but i prob won’t until sunday or something, rip. but in the meantime, here’s a better bg thing on jinri and im me if you wanna plot ( side note: lmao this is 1/4 of the size of the opening ramble in hyeran’s intro.. progress !! ) tw: v brief knife mention, drug mention, idk just general hoodlum bullshit, use of the word ‘hoodlum’ by a twenty year old, overuse of exclamation points and not knowing shit, fucking around with old men, apparently no redemptive ( ?? redeeming ? same thing ? maybe not ? ) qualities

i hate this bitch already js

yeri, again honey i’m sorry

a face of innocence, but will cut you up with her swiss army knife if you fuck with her too much

she grew up as the baby in a.. wealthier family we’ll say, good folks, mom’s prob like the more gullible version of hyeran

again, bc early bg is the last and woRST thing for me to figure out, we’re gonna skip ahead a bit

she had a good childhood basically, and eventually just started isolating herself and began rebelling

just wasn’t into following a routine path like everyone else, figured she might as well indulge in some messy shit while she was still young and able to get away with it

i mentioned earlier that she fucked around with an older guy when she was seventeen for some discounted pot.. it only got worse from there !!

hung around with the stoners and petty thieves lurking about in seoul, it’s how jinri began her stint as a pickpocket

she.. kept up her grades all the while, imagine that ! thought it’d be easier to be competent to keep people off her ass over that bc she’s not thAT dense to fuck herself over when it comes to schooling

like, not that she’s gone to uni or anything, or plans to get her shit together anytime soon but she’s a smart dumb bitch !

kinda just took off after graduating and went to a couple of towns with her band of hoodlums ! thought it’d be fun to fuck with people with an easy means of dashing to the next place if she got caught one too many times

idk if i’m making sense anymore, holy fuck man

anYWAYS ! SHE’S IN JEJU NOW !!

has been for a minute, came by herself tho bc those other fucks were dragging her down ! her competition even tho she’s a sneakier, unsuspecting bitch compared to them

she’s upped her game to cover pickpocketing, fucking with good samaritans and dealing drugs; she’s getting messier in terms of lifestyle choices and shows no signs of stopping soon, loves it !

prob lives with a fellow sleazeball or someone who pays her no mind in a cramped two bed apartment ( possible plot ?? ) bc she’s always ready to bolt to the next place with a sizeable amount of cash in her pocket

PERSONALITY AND OTHER SHIT !!

a bitch i’d fight

not even kidding

has prob been to jail overnight a couple of times

y’know that trope where someone fucks a cop to get out of a ticket or some shit ??

she’s done that. i’m sure of it.

still does maybe

possible plot as well ??

speaking of fucking around, she’s a greasy bitch, but let’s leave it at that gjdfsl

actually, let’s nOT for a second bc she’s def had one night stands for the sake of stealing cash, their drugs or their rolex instead of just sex so.. another possible plot ??

she’s rly clever, call it street smarts combined with.. book smarts ig, but she knows her way around quite a few obstacles, dk how to phrase it exactly rn

manipulative ! cunning ! doesn’t give a shit if she gives a dude viagra instead of rits for fucking with her, it’s his own fault if he doesn’t pay on time !!

far from emotional, super selfish and just generally unlikeable if you don’t catch her putting on her trusty façade to fuck you over !

tends to dress in all black or basic neutrals/muted colours, constantly wearing her one leather jacket, bomber/parka-ish ?? coat or a fur coat from alexander wang that she got off a sugar daddy when she wants to look like a classy brat dfjgsl

she’s had a sugar daddy before, yes bjvkgfjk

v indulgent in pills rather than hard drugs, alcohol too

a bit memey on occasion, she’s kinda inspired by tannis from letterkenny ( uh.. a *wait for it* CANADIAN show ) 

follow-up for people who’ve seen the show, y’know how tannis has her two dudes to help her intimidate people and fuck shit up ?? which she.. does over fucking cigarettes, so she’s not that scary lbr ? jinri prob has that kinda thing going too fsjglk

count it as a blessing if she doesn’t treat you like a friend, like actually think of you as one; you can prob tell the difference between the two since one is where she treats you well to gain your trust, tho that much was prob easy to understand without me saying that 

uh

dk what else rn

just know that i hate her already

a Lot

kim yerim deserves better than this treachery

[ella-animine]

7-10, & 28-32 :3

Thanks so much for sending these in @fe-niks

I had a lot of fun!!

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.Ooh boy, jumping right in the deep end huh?I think my biggest insecurity is that I’m not going to find someone to love me and spend my life with happily. It’s probably really dumb, but I just keep thinking about how little I’ve dated and had romantic relationships, and keep feeling inferior that people around me are in relationship but I’m alone. I crave intimacy and closeness, and although I have great friends… they’re either in relationships or trying to date, so they can’t spend time with me just being close and intimate. I really want that, but I’m insecure the older I get that it won’t happen.And no amount of “it’ll be ok” “you’ll find someone” “you just have to wait for that special someone” can make me feel better. Because every time I get my hopes up, I get disappointed.

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.I got all A’s my first year of college. I’ve never gotten straight A’s before, and I think it’s because I wasn’t motivated as much in HS? But the pressure of there being money on me, and my family rooting for me, and the challenge of the material… it really got me motivated to get those A’s!I was especially pleased with the A I received from my monster of an English prof that year, Bc omg… the best I had done before was a C and I worked SO HARD for that A, and the rest of my grades got wiped out for that class leaving me with an A.So yeah… that was an accomplishment.

9: Talk about little things on your body that you like the most.I think my eyes are really nice! They’re a pretty hazel.I kind of like the shape of my hands? Which is maybe a bit unconventional, but I just think that they look nice and feminine, especially if my nails have grown out a bit. 💙

10: Talk about the biggest fight you’ve ever had.Ooh, I don’t really pick fights that much… and I don’t know if I want to put the WORST … but, I think a pretty big fight I’ve had was as I was getting ready to go into college and I confronted a family member about the sassy/kind of rude way they were talking about my decision to not take dual-enrollment classes in HS for personal reasons.And it’s resolved now, but I was screaming and crying for hours, and it wasn’t really resolved until a day or so after.But that’s it. That’s all I really want to share.

NEXT THREE ARE A BIT NSFW!!!!

28: Talk about your fetishes.Ahahahaha wow. You know you could have just asked privately? Now everyone has to hear about it…

Uh, well… I don’t know if I have fetishes per se, Bc there’s not only one or two things that I need like all the time, but some sexy stuff I really like is lingerie, light bondage?, not really asphyxiation? Like I don’t want/like to be choked but just restricting the amount of air? Like… I don’t really know how to describe it but like if there’s a hand over my mouth/nose, that tends to be pretty interesting… I’m definitely into someone else being in control, praise, and just generally being good/satisfactory for my person. (Not like weird or anything, but I just tend to be a people pleaser and it would be SO satisfactory for me if I perform well in this context, especially if I get praised for it)

That being said!!!I would never (like, ever) do any of this with a stranger or someone I didn’t completely trust/ wasn’t in a relationship with. I used to play around with the idea that I was ace, but as I grew older the appeal of being in a loving relationship with someone who would do things like this with me became stronger, so now I think I might be Demi? I dunno, bro. Im lookin for my person, and I hope when I find them we have a great time together. 💙

29: Talk about what turns you on.It’s gonna sound dumb, but literally I don’t really get turned on unless I feel comfortable with someone. So if there’s intimacy and trust, and someone tries to start stuff there’s a pretty good chance I’ll be into it.Also, I think that the visual and auditory sensations are super important, and again… a big motivator is being good for my person.

30: Talk about what turns you off.I literally hate being degraded/spoken rudely to. It makes me feel so sad and uncomfortable.There’s a fine line between dirty talk and degrading speech and if it’s crossed I’m out. I can’t. It’s over. And it might take a bit for me to come back unless there’s a good conversation that resolves it.That’s the only thing I know for a fact, but there’s probably other stuff I’ll find.

NSFW finished :)

31: Talk about what you think death is like.Like the process of dying, or after you’re dead?I’m not really sure, I don’t like to think about it…I would imagine that dying is a bit like passing out, only you don’t really wake up.And although I WANT to believe there’s something after death, I just don’t know. I think there are too many uncertainties. Assuming that there is something after death, is it one set place? Is it different depending on your life? How do we factor in ghosts? What about different religions?I can’t think of one good answer…I hope it’s akin to the feeling of being under anesthesia; deep rest, almost floaty feeling, where you don’t feel the pass of time.

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.There was (still is) this old creek/stream behind my grandma’s house and huge yard…You would have to go to the edge of the big yard, under this long branch of a tree, and walk down a looooooong path, and over a log or two, to finally get to the creek/stream.And once you’re there, there’s tons of rocks and stuff to flip over and look for tadpoles, minnows, and crayfish… or just let the water rush over your feet.But after you catch some new friends, and examine them closely, you have to remember to put them back.