#so late ... i apologize o.o

[dreamingofaizawa]

You Promise?

Jushiro Ukitake x Fem!Reader

***18+ fic ahead, if you are not 18 or older please make your way to the nearest exit and detour around the page***

Warnings: Penetrative sex, fingering, lots of kissing and h*nd h*lding (gasp), Jushiro is a gentle lover (I'm in love with him methinks), lots of groping (mans is handsy okay? he just wants to feel you ;-;)

Word Count: 5.3k

Author's Note: I'M ALIVE BITCHES AHAHAHAHAHAHA But on a more serious note it's been like...over a year since I've actually posted anything for real o.O My sincerest apologies for vanishing off the map with no warning ;-; On a brighter note, my writer's block has decided to *poof* into thin air apparently, and obviously this is a fic tailored to Bleach!! I've been watching it recetly and holy SHIT why are there SO MANY HOT CHARACTERS? MY BISEXUAL ASS CAN'T TAKE THIS SHIT. Anyways, I'm alive, and I'm back, and hopefully I can toss aside this writer's block for good until the next one comes along.

ENJOY LOVELIES <3

It’s a warm day in the Soul Society, a cool breeze flitting through the Seireitei being the only reprieve from the blaring heat. And it’s calm, you decided. Calmer than it’s been in a long while, even with the stress of the former Squad 5 captain Sosuke Aizen’s plans looming on the far horizon. When he defected along with the other two former captains, Gin Ichimaru and Tosen Kaname it sent shockwaves through the Soul Society like none other. The events leading up to the moment of betrayal nearly tore the Seireitei and the 13 Court Guard Squads completely apart, trust between even the closest of friends fraying dangerously. 

“What’s wrong love, you seem distracted today.” You blink, your focus returning to here and now. That voice was none other than your captain, Jushiro Ukitake, as he sat in his bed. The thin blanket that usually draped over his legs was tossed aside in the heat, his usual captain’s uniform switched out for a lighter garment. Despite all that has happened, this is the man you’d always stand beside no matter what. Even if you didn’t love him the way you did, even if you weren’t constantly suffering through a surely unrequited love. A forbidden one, surely. Not that there were any real rules regarding captain-subordinate relationships that you knew of. You’d stand beside him even in the face of certain death, that’s just the kind of man he is. 

“My apologies captain, I didn’t mean to daydream.” His smile is gentle, sweet, kind as he regards you perched on the edge of his bed. Surely that smile could cure all your heart’s quarrels. If only.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. I’m sure it gets boring watching over me day and night.” That’s right, you thought, it’s been just you for the past few months while Sentaro and Kiyone are out on a mission. You hadn't even noticed the passage of time. It’s already been three months?

“Not at all, Sir. I enjoy your company. I’ve just been thinking that it’s been quiet lately, that’s all. Not that I’m complaining.” He chuckles, the baritone reverberating through your chest. You’ll never tire of that beautiful sound.

“It’s good to know this old man isn’t a burden to you. You must have many more important things to do besides looking after me.” What nonsense.

“You could never be a burden to me, Captain Ukitake. I may have been assigned to you for the time being, but I volunteered my time to you long before that. The only menial task I have is some easy paperwork every week or so, so don’t worry about my mundane paper pushing.” You smile at him, really smile. You want him to feel your dedication to him, your willingness to be here. You want to be here. A breeze drifts through the window and out the door of the room, sending his long white hair floating in the wind. It’s a majestic sight, truly. He’s so handsome, so gentle, so strong even in his sickness. You commit every waking moment in his presence to memory. 

“Such a kind girl you are,” he reaches a hand out, grasping yours gently and staring deep into your eyes, “What would I do without you?” For a moment you’re stunned, those eyes of his piercing you in the heart, the heat from his hand on your skin almost burning you. It’s not unusual for him to hold your hand, especially in moments like this where he wants to express his gratitude to you. But no matter how many times he reaches out to you, you’ll never get over the fluttering of your heart and the warmth it brings you. You laugh then, easily coming up with an answer to his rhetorical question.

“Probably have Sentaro and Kiyone fighting over who gets to give you your medicine tonight.” He chuckles at your quip, the corners of his eyes crinkling ever so slightly. He’s been looking healthier lately, happier, in the calm of late. He turns suddenly, smoothly standing from the bed with your hand still in his.

“It’s a nice evening. I’ve been meaning to go see the koi pond. Would you join me for a walk?” His smile is infectious as he asks, and how could you possibly say no? Who are you to deny him such a simple pleasure? If he feels well enough to go for an evening stroll, you’ll happily indulge him. You allow him to pull you with that unnatural strength that captains have, easily standing you up beside him. He’s clearly been wanting to go outside, he’s already out the door by the time you grab his white haori and slide the paper door shut behind you. He may not have chosen to wear it, but you’re taking it just in case it gets a little too cool. 

As you fall in step beside him, you take a deep breath and soak in all the scenery. The sun is slowly setting over the Soul Society, casting the sky in hues of yellow and gold. Not a cloud lingers in the sky. A constant light breeze flows through the barracks, and the combined warmth from the setting sun’s rays and the cooling wind settles into your bones, your body feeling light and refreshed. It’s a perfect evening for a stroll. It doesn’t take long for your eyes to settle on your captain. Gold is cast over his form, his hair and skin glowing in the light, breeze gently tousling the white strands around his face. It’s a sight reserved for your eyes, and you can’t help but want to stare at him forever. It takes you a moment to realize you’ve stopped walking altogether, and it takes far too long for you to realize the captain is staring at you as you stare at him. Heat crawls up your chest into your face, and you avert your eyes.

“I apologize, Captain.” You can’t think of anything else to say. You’ve been caught staring at your captain, surely with a doe-eyed expression of admiration and longing. He probably read you like a book. You’re stunned again when he grabs your hand, resuming his relaxed stroll along the gravel path to the koi pond behind the barracks for the 13th squad. It’s all you can do to keep up, even in his slow pace his individual strides are incredibly large.

“I don’t mind at all, love. I’d be nervous having such attention on me, but I’m used to a pretty girl always looking at me these days.” Your eyes blow wide open and your jaw slacks as you stare up at him again, only to see a sideways glance and a sly mischievous smirk gracing his features. Is he…flirting?

Before you get the chance to think about what just transpired, you’re being tugged to sit next to the captain. You were so focused on Captain Ukitake you hadn’t realized you’d reached the koi pond. It’s a beautiful spot, you can’t deny that. The pink sky reflects off the surface of the water, the sound of a small fountain trickles into your ears. It smells of fresh water and wet stones, and the evening air tastes crisp and clear. It’s almost hypnotizing, mother nature’s own perfume.

Your attention shifts back to the captain beside you, as he once again grasps your hand firmly in his. It’s so much bigger than your own, and slender and strong. The callouses from hundreds of years of wielding a zanpakuto rough against your skin. His thumb traces shapes into the back of your hand, and as you look up at him you find his eyes already locked on you. There’s something hidden there, something dark and deep and gravitating.

“I want to thank you for being here with me for these past months. You know you don’t have to.” Again, nonsense.

“Captain Ukitake, I already-“

“Jushiro.” He interrupts. You nearly let out a gasp.

“What? Captain…”

“Call me Jushiro. We’ve known each other long enough, I’d much prefer you use my given name.” It’s all you can do to blink in the shock. Sure, you’ve known each other for a few centuries, but you’re still his subordinate. He’s still your captain. And saying his name so casually may just feel like a stab in the heart.

“It would make me happy if you did.” Of course he’d pull that card. If he insists.

“Well… okay, Jushiro.” Goodness, it feels strange. Knowing his name and saying it are two very different things.

“Good, thank you. Now what was it you were saying?” Oh… you almost completely forgot.

“Right. I may not have to, but…I want to. Like I said earlier, I enjoy your company. That wasn’t just me being nice. I really do enjoy being around you, Capt- ah, Jushiro.” That’s definitely going to take some getting used to.

“I’m glad to hear that, love.” He’s been calling you that for a while now. Love. Every time he says the little nickname it feels so soft, so sweet. At least, to you it does. His smile is brighter than the sun, it’s been so long since you’ve seen a smile like that you can’t help but smile too. The silence that falls is comfortable and light, the two of you enjoying the sunset over the pond. Dusk comes and goes, stars soar in the sky, a few lanterns cast a warm glow over the garden and over your faces. With your hand still in Jushiro’s, you can feel when he gives a small shiver at the breeze flowing over you.

“Here, I brought this just in case.” You pull your hand away to unfold the captain’s haori and drape it over his shoulders, right where it should be. 

“Thank you, love. But what about you?” You have to admit, it is a bit chilly. But you’ll be okay, with your shihakusho.

“I’ll be alright, don’t worry about me.” He chuckles as you get comfortable next to him again.

“Well that’s like asking me not to breathe. Here, come closer.” That’s definitely not a good idea. Your heart will surely burst from your chest. You’re already struggling as is, what with the hand holding and names. He doesn’t give you much choice though, hooking an arm around your waist and tugging you fully into his lap. With your legs draped over one side and your head cradled against his chest, he wraps the haori fully around the both of you and rests his chin atop your head. Even through your layers of shihakusho, all you can feel is the heat of one hand on your hip and the other resting on your mid thigh.

This is how you’ll die, surely, but you’ll never be happier.

“I can feel your heart racing. Are you alright?” You hold your breath at his observation, your face warming under his gaze. But holding your breath doesn’t change the fact that he’s absolutely right. Your heart feels like it might just burst. In all the years you’ve known the man, Captain Jushiro Ukitake has never once made such a move for bodily contact unless a life was in danger or unconscious. And you have never even once been anywhere near this close to him, not even when you were wiping the sweat from his brow in his especially pained moments. It feels like the breath you’re holding is punched from you, coming out quick and shuddering, when his hand cups your jaw and tilts your head up to look him in the eyes. His face is so close, his lips are right there…all you’d need to do is lean.

“You’re turning a concerning shade of crimson, my dear. Are you alright?” Shit. You need to answer, don’t you? But he’s still smiling…oh he’s teasing you!

“I’m fine! Just fine, thank you.” It’s a squeak, really. If you’re being honest it probably sounded to him like you were trying incredibly hard to keep from moving, and that included breathing. That hand slips from your cheek down to your chin, tilting your head even further back.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help the teasing. You’re just so cute, so pretty. I’m so glad I’ve been able to keep you around.” There’s no way this is real. It’s a dream, surely. You’re deep in sleep and your brain has gifted your heart a beautiful show. His hands release you, dropping far too quickly for your liking. He’s concerned now, it seems.

“Are you sure you’re alright? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” He sounds so dejected, that gorgeous smile fading into a disappointed frown. You can’t control your own limbs as they react to what your heart wants, reaching for his haori and tugging hard so he’s no longer leaning away from you.

“No! I promise I’m not uncomfortable, I promise! I was just shocked, that’s all.” Mentally, you slap yourself for nearly begging the captain to stay wrapped around you. But you’ll be damned if you let this moment slip through your fingers. That smile returns, although slowly and reluctantly.

“You promise?” Nodding fervently, you lean into him and bury your head into his chest once more. Screw everything, whatever reservations you had about keeping your feelings hidden are being tossed out the window. When his arms wrap around you once more it’s all you can do to refrain from turning and kissing at what little is exposed of his chest.

“Good. Then, since we’re comfortable and alone, I have a bit of a confession to make.” A confession? What kind of confession could only be spoken while alone?

“When you were assigned to me it wasn’t random. I requested you specifically, not only because of your capabilities as a shinigami in my division, and not solely because of your short stint training under Captain Unohana. Not that your healing capabilities are anything to sniff at, of course,  you’re a wonderful healer! And you’re an amazing fighter, no doubt about that, and of course you-” he cuts himself off, his breath catching in his chest where your hand lay splayed in the center of it.

“Captain… Jushiro…I understand what you’re trying to say. You chose me for many reasons. Which of those reasons require a confession? And why are you suddenly so nervous?” You can see his adam's apple bob in his throat when he swallows down whatever words caught in his throat. His brows pinch together ever so slightly, he nibbles at his bottom lip for a moment. He really is nervous, you can see it clear as day. It’s not often he gets nervous, even in the face of opponents stronger than any he’s seen he’s a stone pillar.

“Yes, well. I requested you to be at my side because I’ve held very real and very strong feelings toward you, for a very long time now. You’re a beautiful woman, a strong fighter, a wonderful person. Having you so close these few months have only solidified these feelings. I just don’t see any point in hiding them any longer.” At that, you lean back and stare up at him, into those deep, dark eyes of his. He can’t seem to return the gaze, his eyes flitting around to avoid eye contact.

“Am I dreaming? Is this a dream?” He laughs at that, a hearty laugh that makes his chest bounce. His eyes finally fall on yours.

“No, love. This is definitely not a dream.” It doesn’t feel real. You reach over and pinch your arm as hard as you can, jumping and wincing the tiniest bit from the small shock of pain.

“I told you.” His nervous smile is infectious, you’re only able to return it as he leans close to you and rests his forehead against your own.

“Please tell me you feel the same. I don’t think I can take any more of this.” A giggle slips past your lips and you reach up to loop your arms around his neck.

“I’ve had a massive crush on you for decades.” That seems to click his resolve into place, and the next thing you know you’re being kissed silly by Jushiro Ukitake. The breath is stolen from your lungs, his fingers dig deep into your hip and thigh if only to get you closer. You hate that you need to breathe, need to part from the kiss far too soon for your liking. There’s a tension between you now, a string pulled taut waiting to be cut loose as your breaths mingle. He looks frustrated now, taking a moment to consider things you were not privy to.

“It’s late, we should be getting back now.” Of course, he was right. Which meant this was where you parted ways. You may be overseeing his health and spending days tending to his needs when he can’t do something himself, but he has ways of summoning you to him should an emergency arise, so you remain in your own quarters in the barracks at night. You’re shifting to stand, but he holds you tight to his chest and instead stands with you held in his arms.

“Jushiro! Please, don’t strain yourself! I’m perfectly capable of walking.” He only smiles that lopsided smile and in an instant you’re standing at the door to his quarters. A flash step at a time like this is insanity!

“Jushiro!” You gasp up at him as the door is opened, then closed as you’re carried beyond the threshold.

“I’m sorry for worrying you, love, but I just couldn’t wait. Now I want you to tell me if anything makes you uncomfortable, I will stop what I’m doing.” What? What in the world is he talking about? You gasp when you feel his lips peppering gentle kisses along your exposed neck, grabbing his haori for any kind of stability as you’re thrown mentally sideways. His lips carve a path down your jugular to your collarbone and along what little is bare of your shoulder. They almost burn, those heated kisses of his, and you can’t help but tremble at the euphoric feeling of his lips on your skin. You’re laid gently on his bed, still being lavished with kisses turning deeper and sharper, you’re sure there will be marks on your skin by morning. His fingers are hot where they brush against the fold of your shihakusho, gently tugging the fabric to reveal more of you to his hungry gaze. Your sash is untied and dropped to the floor, followed by a piece of his clothing and then a piece of yours. Disrobing was second priority, your chest heaving as he never left your skin cold for longer than necessary to remove a barrier of cloth.

When he finally feels he’s smothered you in enough kisses, you’re both completely bare before each other. He’s hovering over you, one knee beside your hip and both hands on either side of your head, his other leg extended to keep his foot planted firmly on the ground. Those eyes, half-lidded and pupils blown with lust, roam over your body like he’s committing every inch of your skin to memory. You do the same, taking in the hard planes of his chest and abdomen, the muscles in his arms and legs flexed as he holds himself above you. You can feel an impossible heat rise in your body when your eyes land on his already fully hard erection. You can’t help but gasp and avert your eyes. A tiny voice in your head reminds you that this is your captain, for crying out loud!

“The things you do to me, woman.” He holds your jaw in his palm and a searing kiss is shared between you, your lips melding perfectly together. His tongue licks at your bottom lip, and you let it tangle with your own. There’s no fight for dominance, just the push and pull of your bodies as your entire being tries to join with him. He’s almost lying on top of you, and in a moment of opportunity you hook a leg over his hip and twist your bodies, rolling over until he’s on his back beneath you and you’re straddling his stomach. He only looks shocked for a moment, and you don’t give him much more time to right himself before attacking him with another breath-stealing kiss. His hands, large and strong and insistent, can’t keep still on your body. They’re everywhere, your hips, breasts, thighs, squeezing and feeling everything he’s been wanting to feel. He’s gentle with his hands, softly holding a breast while his thumb brushes over your nipple, making you jolt and moan from the unexpected sensation. Happily, he swallows the sound only to make you produce it again and again, toying and tugging at every piece of you that he can reach.

“Jushiro, please.” You beg, feeling heat pool in your belly. You’re sure he can feel you leaking all over his stomach, your hips unable to keep still the longer he spends teasing your body. Gripping your hips, he begins to sit up and you can’t stop yourself from placing a hand on his chest and pushing him back down, almost warning him.

“Don’t overexert yourself for my sake.” Good gods that smile was going to kill you. In your moment of concern he pulls the same move you had, a hand gently cradling your neck and flipping the two of you over so he’s hovering over you once again. It’s all you can do to gasp as your balance is thrown. When you’re refocused, you’re peering up at a halo of white as his hair curtains over your shared space. Nothing else in this world matters, only the two of you exist right here, right now. Your breathing picks up as the hand bracing your neck travels down your chest, trailing your skin in a scorching path to your lower belly and even further to the mound of your sex. His eyes pierce yours, silently pleading for permission, and your nod of approval is met with his lithe fingers slipping between your legs and gathering all the slickness produced from your pussy. He can’t help himself, teasing his fingers along your entrance and brushing up against your clit to make your body jolt. The gasp you let out is music to his ears. But his pace is torturous for you, impatience getting the better of you when you reach down to grip his wrist. The unoccupied hand comes and gathers both your wrists, pinning them above your head.

“Oh, no, I'm not done yet. Be good for me and keep your hands to yourself, won't you?” The sentence is punctuated with a sweet kiss to the corner of your mouth, before his fingers continue their leisurely pace. He studies your face as one finger slips into you easily, a second soon following and your breaths are coming hard and fast. He curls and pumps his fingers, searching for all the angles that have your back arching beautifully and your voice calling his name like a siren. Anything that makes your eyes flutter he tries to emulate once again. His third finger only fuels the fire in your blood, the stretch making your head spin from the sheer pleasure. It’s impossible to tell how long it’s been since you’d landed on the bed, being at the mercy of Jushiro’s lips and hands alone have left you breathless and aching. You’re left utterly empty when he removes his fingers from your heat, gazing in wonder at just how sloppy and wet you’d left them. Gossamer strings stretch and snap when he spreads his fingers apart, and in your embarrassment you shut your eyes and turn your head, unable to cover your face with your hands still pinned. A throaty moan snaps your eyes open, only to witness the most glorious sight you’ve ever witnessed. The hand covered in your wetness was now wrapped around his aching cock, Jushiro’s head hung low as he stroked himself slowly to relieve some of the ache. It doesn’t last long, the sight makes you moan and his attention is back on you.

“Still think this is a dream?” You shake your head no, unsure if you’re able to form a coherent sentence after the sight you’ve just had the privilege of viewing. 

“Good.” Your hands are released as he grabs your hips, twisting again so he’s leaning up against the headboard and a mountain of pillows, with you straddling his waist again. He’s holding you close, fingertips tracing nonsensical shapes into your hips.

“Are you ready for me? I’ll let you set the pace so I don’t hurt you.” You lean in close and kiss him breathless, before lining him up and sinking down onto him. The both of you moan into each other’s mouth, breathing heavily as you lower yourself slowly onto his cock, feeling every twitch as your pussy grips him tight. Finally fully seated, you’re both panting hard, a sheen of sweat decorating your bodies. His arms wrap around your waist, tugging you so your chest is against his and your arms wind around his shoulders, your hands burying themselves in his hair. A groan is muffled in your neck from the shift, your responding gasp quiet as a prayer in his ear. 

“I need to move, love. Are you ready?” 

“Yes, I’m ready Jushiro. Don't hold back.” With a loud moan his hips buck up, his feet plated on the bed to leverage against you. Your vision nearly whites out at the movement, breath stopping for an instant, his tip hitting a spot deep inside you too perfectly. He doesn’t stop but for a moment, tightening his grip on your waist and lifting you up off his hips only to drop you back down as he thrusts up, his pace steady and deep. Starbursts dot your vision with every thrust, every stroke of his dick inside you makes you shake and the pleasure is too much and not enough all at once. You’re hiccuping between guttural moans, his own groans matching yours beat for beat, your voices creating a sinful melody neither of you want to stop listening to.

Your equilibrium is thrown again when Jushiro lifts you higher, keeping himself seated deep in your pussy and maneuvering up onto his knees, gently laying you down on your back once more. The angle shift makes your body tremble and your cunt squeeze down on him, his groan deep and long as he adjusts. You’re given no more time to think before one of your legs is thrown over his shoulder and his full weight is being used to fuck into you relentlessly. Moans are punched from your lungs, fingers bruising your thigh in his steel grip and the other hand coming down to rub tight circles onto your puffy clit. You scream then, your back arching almost painfully as your orgasm hits you full force without warning or preamble. You hadn’t felt just how heavily it was building, pleasure distracting from pleasure, and your vision whites out while your legs shake and squeeze around Jushiro’s waist, pussy clenching down on his cock tight enough to slow his punishing pace.

“That’s it love -shit- such a good girl for me.” He continues dragging in and out of you, pushing through the tight grip of your walls and shoving you into overstimulation, your legs trying fruitlessly to close around his hips.

“J-jushiro please I- ah!” He stills deep inside you, the curve of his cock pushing up against a spot inside you that makes your eyes roll back and you see stars. Tears begin to fall from the sheer white-hot pleasure, you barely feel it as liquid splashes over Jushiro’s thighs and stomach, and his own orgasm is yanked out of him at the sight. His body curls over you, cock twitching as he cums deep inside you with a deep, throaty moan, every muscle in his body tensed from the strength of his release. When you’ve both ridden out your glorious highs, he drops your leg in favor of pulling your limp body close, lying back with you on top of his chest. He doesn’t remove his softening cock from you, it would be far too sensitive for either of you if he didn’t allow it to slip out on its own. You’re both panting heavily, sweat coating your bodies, sweltering heat being cooled by the night breeze as it filters through the window. His hands are gently soothing you, one on your head and the other caressing down your spine to ground you from your earth-shattering release. When you finally come to, filtering out of your daze, you turn your head and place a chaste kiss on Jushiro’s warm cheek.

“Is it too soon to say I love you?” Your body jolts when you feel his cock twitch hard, still buried deep inside you. His groan is low and almost pained, surely he’s just as sensitive as you are.

“I’ll take that as a no, then.” He doesn’t have the energy to laugh, so he settles for kissing you silly again.

“Just give it a few minutes.” It takes more than a few, and by the time you’re both cleaned up and comfortable under the sheets your bodies ache from the strenuous activities. His arms have found a home on your body, your head buried in the crook of his neck, peppering tiny kisses on his skin as he slowly massages your shoulders and neck. 

“Are you okay, Jushiro?” He hums in response, he’s never felt better in his life, he’s sure.

“I mean physically. Your health is my top priority, I’d hate to have strained your body tonight.” He chuckles then, energy beginning to return in a sleepy haze.

“I’m fine, my love. I’ve done much more, physically, while I was feeling a lot worse. This won’t put me out of commission. I promise.” You lift your head, leave a peck on his lips.

“You promise?” He nods, brushing a few strands of your hair out of your face. His returning kiss is deep, long and knocks the wind out of you. There’s no doubt in your mind you are in love with this man.

“I promise.” With that, you relax in his hold once more and allow your mind to fall into the throes of sleep. You think you hear a soft snore as your consciousness slips away, but that’s not something you need to think about.

BONUS:

You’re slowly pulled from your sleep by a steady, rhythmic thump. You know the sound, but your subconscious can’t quite place it. You’re only half awake when a voice filters through our brain, and it’s far too late when it finally dawns on you that it’s the voice of another captain, their footsteps approaching far too quickly for comfort.

“...missed you at the meeting so I’m just coming to check-” the door is only halfway open, and even by then Jushiro’s quick reflexes have a sheet covering both your naked bodies as you lay there stunned, your wide eyes meeting the slowly widening eyes of Captain Kyoraku of the 8th division. He blinks, eyes flitting between you and Jushiro, a knowing look crawling itself onto his face.

“Well well well, would you take a look at that. Congrats Jushiro, you’ve finally told her.” The other captain peers at you, and you bow your head in shy greeting.

“Good morning, Captain Kyoraku.” His smile is wide and joyful.

“Mornin’ sweetheart,” his eyes transfer over to Jushiro, “The meeting wasn’t anything important, you’ve already been excused from it.” Jushiro sighs, both from relief and irritation.

“Thank you, Shunsui, but we are both very naked and I’d appreciate it if you closed the door.” The pink-clad captain chuckles and tips his hat down to cover his eyes.

“Of course. Have a good day, lovebirds.” The door shuts and his footsteps recede into the distance. You suppose those surprise visits from the Captain of squad 8 will be approached a little more cautiously from now on.

[childotkw]

can we please get a snippet of the Grindelwald!Harry AU?? Maybe Gellert tracks Harry down and like wants to apologize for being absent but Harry’s like you’re not my dad!! And Gellerts like o.O my son hates me so much that he won’t even acknowledge me.

orrr something about exactly WHY everyone thinks Harry’s Gellert son

Or literally anything. I’m obsessed

This is the first thing that popped into my mind 😂

——————————

“I’m sorry - what?”

Albus took a calming sip of his tea, humming in appreciation at the pleasant taste, before placing it back on the saucer and looking at the young man across from him. There was nothing of Gellert in him, not in looks or personality or even in the flavour of magic that emanated from him; and it only solidified the suspicion in his mind that this was not the long-lost son of his old friend.

Certainly, Gellert never would have allowed such a…gobsmacked look to cross his face.

Amusement bubbled merrily in his gut at the expression on Harry, though. This was a man that had never learned or never cared to mask his emotions before, and it was refreshing to witness someone so unashamed or concerned over how he was perceived.

Albus had been spending far too much time around politicians lately.

“I said that for someone rumoured to be Gellert Grindelwald’s son, you were remarkably easy to find.”

Harry’s eyes - a brilliant, lovely green - suddenly narrowed and sharpened. He still did not resemble Gellert, but the abrupt shrewdness of his gaze was as dangerous as it was compelling. Albus hid his smile behind the rim of his cup.

“Grindelwald.” It wasn’t even a question, just a flat repetition.

“Oh yes,” Albus said, more jovial than the situation perhaps warranted. “The wizarding world is positively abuzz with news of your existence. It’s quite a scandal.”

“But I’m not Grindelwald’s kid,” Harry replied, with such aggressive honesty that it made a well of fondness appear in Albus’ chest. Truly, it seemed he had stumbled across a wonderful gem of a human being. Even just this brief conversation told him all he needed to know about young Harry’s character.

He took another sip, waiting deliberately to see where this would go.

Harry inhaled, his lips already opening to say more - when he just stopped and huffed. His eyes pierced Albus, and some weary amusement snuck on the other’s face. “And you know that,” Harry said, rolling his eyes and sighing. “You just wanted to see how I’d react.”

Marvellous! Not only a sincere man, but one with a clever mind. There was a temper there, Albus had been able to tell that after Harry’s initial response to his arrival - the bright burst of anger in his eyes when he first saw Albus, the way the green darkened, his jaw clenched and his fingers twitched - but it was tempered by such an overwhelming blanket of kindness and good humour.

He should get out of the office more often.

[iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia]

Hiii, I saw that you made a hc about mc with a unexpectedly deep voice but what about a mc with a unexpectedly high voice

Also: you're cool and when you liked one of my posts I almost passed out

-🦴

The Arcana Mini-HCs: MC with a surprisingly high voice

(O.O bone anon, please don't pass out, I want to like so many of your posts c:)

Julian: immediately tries to test his impersonation skills and imitate it, only for his voice to crack like a pubescent boy. Apologizes immediately and doesn't bring it up again (keeps thinking about it)

Asra: thinks it's precious and wouldn't change it for the world. occasionally asks you to use it to play pranks on misbehaving customers by feeding you lines and then pretending it's him talking

Nadia: froze. did a double take. tried to hide it by asking another question so she could hear your voice again. blushed and spend the rest of her late night visit trying not to squeeze you from cuteness

Muriel: he didn't pay attention to your voice until he started paying attention to you, at which point it didn't sound unexpected any more. If you ask him, he says it sounds like birds chirping and he likes it

Portia: her first impulse was to assume that you were mocking her because of how often Julian used to mimic her in a high pitched voice. Now she just keeps trying to see how high you can sing

Lucio: though it was hilarious as a ghost and kept calling you a child because of it. Had to find a way to backtrack and recover from that when he started developing not-so-childlike feelings for you

[nurgletwh]

Update part two (this is the rest of it, there isn’t any more… at the moment O.o).

February 2024

It took all of two days for my BP to return to my ‘normal’ (the value I expected and where it’s been for a few years now).

It took over a week for me to feel mostly better, and two to approach feeling normal.

Chug away through the rest of the month, but I’m not energetic at all.

March 2024

Nothing super-exciting, although I slowly but surely feel more and more drained—almost exactly the way I felt when I went in because my blood sugar was high. Which was very confusing, because it was great.

Late March-April 2024

I felt awful again. I could barely get the energy up to do anything, and I was back to sleeping all the time. 14-16 hours per day on the weekend, falling asleep in my chair when I got home from work, waking up enough to crawl into bed and go right back to sleep for the night. Which also adds up to 14-16 hours per day.

Warning: diet talk

———

Remember how I started Ozempic? It does weird things to how I perceive hunger. Add that to how well I remember to eat and…

At some point I realized that in the last three days the only things I’d eaten each day were a couple of pieces of toast w/peanut butter for breakfast, nibbled on jerky for lunch, and maybe ate some more toast for dinner.

Thinking back further, I couldn’t figure out a recent time frame where I had done better than that. I had weighed myself in early February, and remembered wondering if dropping 25lbs. (11.3kg) in eight weeks was a good idea.

Shit.

(FYI: no*, it isn’t.)

So I got my exhausted ass out of the house and grabbed a case of Ensure, multivitamins, and other snacky crap I knew I’d eat. My goal was to get things back together enough to get the energy to start fixing my diet, nothing more. I knew aiming higher wouldn’t work until after I could do something besides work and nap.

(*Experts recommend an initial weight-loss goal of 5% to 10% of your starting weight within 6 months. For me, it should have taken nearly seven months to hit that 10%. Granted, these rates are for ‘unassisted’ dieting.)

———

It took all of three days for me to feel significantly better. Not great, but better. I still didn’t have much energy, but my sleeping patterns altered drastically. I was still napping after work, but I would wake up two hours later and accomplish something before going to bed. I didn’t accomplish much, but it was more than sleeping and more sleeping.

Things slowly got better, but again, getting to “ok” was faster than getting back to “normal.”

I know I dropped off the face of the earth, but it felt like every time I announced that things went wonky but I was feeling better now and put out a few chapters, things would blow up again. I wanted to make sure things were better this time.

Which was a poor choice; I should at least have posted something that said I was fucked up but working on it. I apologize for that lack of communication, although things did blow up again…

April 26, 2024

TORNADO.

A FUCKING TORNADO WENT RIGHT THROUGH OUR WORKSITE.

FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK!!!

I know I posted about it. It wasn’t very strong (HA!) by the time it came over the hill and destroyed the house at the top of it, merely (MERELY!!) tossing over a few rail cars and flipping a few semi-trailers.

We got lucky. This very same tornado absolutely wrecked Elkhorn (west of Omaha, NE).

I’ve stated I live and work in the Omaha area, so I’m not too worried about posting this, but here is an overlay of that tornado’s path on top of Apple Maps with my little blue dot while sitting at my desk.

May 2024

Most of May went fairly smoothly. I even got a little writing done!

Unfortunately, I had fallen so far behind on projects at work during all of the above that I was now trying to get caught up. Said project was over four months late at this point. I was working a bit late (not crazy-late, but about an extra hour most days) while still drained, so I didn’t have a whole lot of extra mental energy for writing.

I was, however, finally back to plotting and planning! Yay! Progress!

Until… (is anyone shocked at this point?)

The Friday before Memorial Day I felt a bit drained.

I woke up Saturday with a headache, feeling achy and sore. It didn’t get better, so I took my temperature around noon. 100.1ºF.

Wonderful.

I took a Covid test (that’s my default action to feeling crappy now), but it came back negative. Note that I wasn’t coughing, and I didn’t feel particularly short of breath or anything.

Nothing improved over Sunday, but it didn’t change much, either.

Same for Monday (Memorial Day). But this now made three days with a fever (also three consecutive negative Covid tests).

I agreed to @grumpyoldsnake’s and their friend’s demands to get my ass to a doctor the next day if I still had the fever, although I really wasn’t feeling too bad other than achy. Note: still no coughing (I promise this is important).

I woke up in the middle of the night when I heard something that sounded like a goddamn goose in my bedroom.

Have you ever woken yourself up by making some weird-ass noise that you then can’t duplicate? Even though you know you made it?

I was able to duplicate it. Without much issue. It fell under “well, that’s odd,” and I went back to sleep.

A bit later I woke up to a different weird noise, but I was sidetracked by what I heard and felt after I coughed a few times. My chest was making a sound like a freshly opened pop can. When my mouth was open, it was even worse. I could feel it bubbling away (it didn’t hurt).

Fuck.

Guess what?

PNEMONIA!!

Fuck my life.

Prior to Friday, I hadn’t been sick. They tested me for the flu; that was negative.

Pneumonia is almost always a secondary infection, not primary. You have a cold, or Covid, or bronchitis, and it turns into pneumonia when bacteria settle into your irritated bronchi.

Me, on the other hand…

I never really coughed all that much. Reviewing the blood oxygen data from my Apple Watch, I could peg when the infection started really kicking in, although it looks like something started about a week prior to that (when I did a round-trip plane trip, spending five or six hours on a plane and in an airport two days in a row…).

It took a week to get to a place where my breathing to start feeling easier, nearly two before the oxygen levels started crawling back up.

I did start coughing.

And coughing up… liquid. It was the weirdest sensation. I’d cough, and end up with a mouthful of what felt like slightly thick water. It didn’t really taste, and was nearly colorless.

I coughed that shit up for nearly three days.

I never coughed up the stuff that had any sort of color, although it did get thicker and more ‘traditional’ for stuff you cough up when you get sick. Which puts to lie that you can tell you have a chest infection by the color of the crud you cough up. :-/

It took another nearly two weeks after finishing the ten days of antibiotics to feel like my breathing was normal. The first day back to work was one hell of a reality check, though. I hadn’t been moving around much, and I knew I was short of breath, but I made it all of fifty feet from my car, then about ⅓ of the way up the stairs to my office before I had to stop. I couldn’t catch my breath and was dizzy.

That was the first time I thought, “that could have killed me.”

Not walking up the stairs, but what led to me standing on the stairs, gasping like a landed fish.

It was emphatically hammered home when I made a joking comment to a coworker that it thankfully wasn’t that bad.

Her response?

“Oh, no. Your x-ray was bad.”

>.<

I’ve been getting better. My nutrition went sideways again due to being utterly distracted, but I think that is fairly understandable. :-P

I refuse to say “I’m doing fine now!!”

Fate doesn’t need the temptation.

I hope to get back to writing. I hope even more that I can tackle the monster my inbox has become (both at AO3 and my personal email, which has been just as neglected).

Take care, everyone. Stay healthy.

[satureja13]

Ji Ho's Therapy Game It starts -> here

It's a two day ride to the east from the Castle to Goldshire and the Princess took her time to get to know her future subjects. The Royals need the good publicity after the righful Heir had to leave. And the folks liked her a lot. Like Ji Ho in real life, the mermaid princess radiates sunshine and gives everyone around her the feeling of being welcomed and accepted and loved. It just feels so good to be near her. The word had spread that Princess Jihovere would visit Goldshire and so the Mayor and the dwellers already awaited her eagerly. (Well not exactly everyone, given Martha's face ^^' Is she jealous?)

Vendor: "The Princess is here!" Stefan: "She's even more beautiful than on Social Bunny!" Sara: "Aouwww I love her outfit! I bet the Queen chose it!" Mayor: "Welcome your Highness! We are delightfully at your service!" Martha: "Tch!"

After they greeted each other, the Princess showed the photo of the statue around and asked if anyone had seen this man. She didn't tell them who he was, though, to not turn them against her (should they still believe the hate posts about the reightful Heir's descent are justified) and to not start unnecessary rumors about her supposed marriage with Prince Caleb. One step at a time. The Mayor told the Princess that, a while ago, a handsome stranger visited Goldshire who looked alike the statue. He had no money and made a secret about his status so they quickly sent him westwards to the Castle so the Queen could verify his status. Mayor: "I hope he didn't cause any trouble at court? We would be devastated if." Princess Jihovere: "No. Not at all. He is a dear friend who went missing." Mayor: "Oh. We should have treated him better then. I apologize. To be honest, he acted like a criminal and he insisted to work for the sculptor! No one works for the sculptor." Princess Jihovere: "Don't worry. You did nothing wrong." And since Vlad found his ingame version molded in stone, they still need to know what happened to NPC Vlad after Vlad left Goldhire and logged out - so she also asked about him, but everyone claimed there hadn't been another stranger around lately... weird.

Meanwhile Stefan cared for Yang Mal. Which is also weird, the Princess expected Lou to. But he wasn't around and his shop was closed...

The dwellers prepared their most famous vegan dishes for the Princess and they had a delicious meal together. Sara interrogated Princess Jihovere about the latest fashion trends at Court. Gia laughed: "Let her breathe ^^' " But the Princess didn't mind. (Martha in the background still sulking ^^')

When the Princess asked about Jack, the mood turned gloomy. Everyone here likes him and they hope he will return back to Lou soon. They are so sweet together 💞 But no one had a clue why Jack ran away.

Suddenly an upset rooster interrupted them and shooed them loudly cackling over to the Sculptor's shop.

Where the bat was! But the shop was closed too and Sara told Princess Jihovere that the Sculptor left Goldshire to visit his partner in Bacalao Bay. She also spilled that many here think the Sculptor is acting suspicious. He is a witcher and it is said he keeps company with the underworld - demons and stuff. Hence anyone in their right mind refuses to model for him ö.Ö'

Sara sent the route to Bacalao Bay to the Princess' phone. It isn't far away.

It wasn't that late and Princess Jihovere said goodbye to reach Bacalao Bay before dusk. It sounds too promising to lose any more time! Maybe the sculptor knows how to find the demon that stole Jack's heart! After the Princess left, the village folk met in the pub to discuss the Royal Visit. (No photo of Martha and the Princess ^^')

They posted their selfies with the Princess on Social Bunny and got lots of likes and reblogs for their sweet pics🐇👑💖 And (almost) everyone agreed that the kind and beautiful Princess was the, by far, best choice to marry their future King. (Whoever it may be o.o)

And the radio in the Lion's Pride Inn was playing:

'When I'm lonely, well, I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you And when I'm dreamin', well, I know I'm gonna dream I'm gonna dream about the time when I'm with you When I go out, well, I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you And when I come home, yes, I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who comes back home with you I'm gonna be the man who's comin' home with you But I would walk five hundred miles And I would walk five hundred more Just to be the man who walked a thousand Miles to fall down at your door'

Let's hope the Princess comes home with her King 💕

I'm gonna be (500 miles) - The Proclaimers What a coincidence, again a MV with Johnny Depp. This song was the title track of 'Benny and Joon' in which he played Sam. (This is also the song that played in a loop in Marshall Eriksen's car in How I Met Your Mother. And: the song that played in a loop in Rita's truck when the Boys went on their first weekend trip to Henford! ^^')

The Therapy Game Master Post with the sessions and places so far is -> here

From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest

Current Chapter: 'Who killed Jack?' from the beginning ▶️ here

📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 17-22 ~ 23-28

[irisisasiren]

Oh and I apologize I forgot to mention the niji member but if it’s alright can you do Ike?? (And just incase you don’t do angst, maybe any fluffy scenario with Ike on stream will be okay❤️)

I’m sorry if this sounds like a lot 😭😭 I really love your works <3

Fluffy moment with Ike on stream

A/n: hi hello^^ thank you for the request, I'm happy to write your requests✍️(◔◡◔)

Summary: The clippers decided to clip some of you two best moment together as an anniversary gift from the Quildren and F/n (fan name)

There's have been a lot of clip of the both of you and Ike on Youtube lately since it's your anniversary gift from the fans so I present to you "THE BEST MOMENT OF IKE AND Y/N":)

【IT TAKES TWO W/ Y/N】N/N and Eek date stream (I was screaming my ass of when I wrote this:3 and it was inspired by Millie and Ike collab)

"Ike?"

"Yes, darling?"

"What do mean this our dating stream O.O"

"I thought that you agree to do a date stream:("

"I- ahem... I did said but I THOUGHT IT WAS NEXT WEEK>:0"

"Oh ... Hello chat^^!" *completely forgot the thing you said*

"YOU SAID THIS IS JUST GONNA BE A COLLAB STREAM!!!>:("

"A- thank you for the 10, toastie_bread!"

"OI!"

【THE CLOSING SHIFT】Let me warm your body and soul~

You were just for moral support bcs Ike ask you to keep him company since he was less scared when you're there with him

"Y/N! they have a lot of pastry and they even have your favorite too!!!:0"

" Wa.... Maybe our next date should be at the cafe "

*giggle* " You're sometime too cute, darling"

"A- no you:0"

" No you>:0"

【KARAOKE】It's showtime:D

You were doing a karaoke stream and Ike's in the chat

"Oh~ Come on, baby. I wanna get down.... with your body with me~."

Y/n's gloves: AAAAA TSKR!!! :_y/nLove:

AbO: EYYYYYYYY

Ike Eveland🔧: TSKR!!! :_y/nLight: :_y/nheart:

*After you finished your singing*

"Ike? Aren't you suppose to be sleeping right know?"

Ike Eveland🔧: don't mind me, just watching;3

[roguelov]

dream and hob meeting gojo would be hilarious lol

but also the corinthian meeting nanami?? and them just staring at each other like O.O (I always say the corinthian is the white versuin of nanami, at least physically)

or imagine dreams and hobs confused faces when they see y/n talking to toge and understanding whatever he says

maybe they walk in on her training with the students or another sorcerer and see how strong and powerful she is and they're just like, "damn, she's hot"

bonus points if before seeing her fight, the two were like "she's our cute little soulmate and we need to protect her at all costs" just to see her rip apart a curse or beat someone in a fight without breaking a sweat lol

Oh my god yessssssssssssssssss

Corinthian and Nanami switching glasses (much to the dismay of Nanami who just wants to go home but Yuji begged him to do it). Dream approach Nanami during this time and says ‘Corinthian it is time we depart’ and Dream does a second glance and immediately apologizes (the kids are dying with laughter)

You taking with Toge definitely gets Dream and Hob to do a double take but what if in the Dreaming Toge’s curse technique is nulled so he can speak freely? It would be so adorable and how you and Dream encourage him to talk and how no one will be harmed

Gojo meeting them would almost end in Dream sending Gojo off into another realm you cannot convince me otherwise. He will be a worse than a yappy kid with a million questions that just spiral more and more out of control

And when Dream and Hob see you train they always pause and are always amazed by you. And when they saw you fight a curse for the first time? Heart eyes and a dash of fear. Like you three were out about trying to have a date when you saw the cursed spirit and immediately leapt into action, they try to stop you or intervene as well but it was too late you annihilated the spirit and they were left in awe. You then walk over grab their hands and continue on your date as if nothing happened

Also also not you and Hob comparing scars and swapping stories of how you got them. And Dream will kiss each of yours and Hob’s scars telling you both how happy he is you are both alive

[byierficrecs]

hello angel! i am so sorry you’ve been struggling so much. i wish i could take it all away.

you are truly so sweet and do not deserve what is happening, i might be able to donate around 10$, and i can get that figured out soon, sorry it’s not much, i am unemployed lol o.o

being more positive, are there any movies you’ve watched recently that caught your interest? any new interests in general?

please keep going, we are all proud of you and are all rooting for you! i hope you heal soon. <3

hello ~! apologies for the late reply, been sulking for the past few days u.u thank you so much for the sweet message !! it means a lot ;-; as ever, only send in as much as you can / want, okei ? don't stress too much about me :(

onto the happier stuff, i watched the entirety of "heartstopper" s2 the other day ! have also been rewatching "the end of the f***ing world" lately ~ as for movies, i recently rewatched my favourite film ("the crow"), but other than that i haven't watched anything in a while :S if anyone has recommendations please feel free to send them in x.x

thanks again for the lovely ask, and sorry for taking a few days to reply :( you're far too kind ;-; <3

[strawberyblogs]

Stray Kids - Dating Lee Felix - Fluff Headcanons 🥭

Love language: TOUCH ALL THE WAY!!! He would love to scare you by a from behind bear hug out of nowhere. He'd like to be making as much physical contact with you as possible, like holding your hand in a line, wrapping his arm around you, or even just a good ol' fashioned cuddle sesh.

He'd 100% write songs for you and about you. He'd be a little bit shy when showing you because the songs would be very vulnerable, but just show him support and he'll open up more about those sweet romantic things.

DANCING!!!! Felix would be the type to try to embarrass you by dancing in public to whatever music the mall is playing, but you'll find it so adorable that you couldn't even be mad at him.

Follow up to the previous one, on a very romantic date, he would like to do some formal ballroom style dancing with you. If you were a little bit nervous at first- because come on. He's so hot and right there in front of you, so close. He would guide you until you got more comfortable.

Gift wise, he would appreciate and like to give you more sentimental things than expensive things, which is great because I doubt any of you guys' reading are millionaires. He'd like to make you gifts instead of buying them, because you can't put a price on love. (Corny I know I know)

He'd be pretty quick to introduce you to the group, but very hesitant to introduce you to the public. He probably wouldn't at all for your own safety, because we all know how toxic some fans can be about idols dating. He really cares about you and doesn't want anything bad to happen to you, so he'd be really good about protecting your privacy.

After a fight, he would at first avoid the topic in case you were mad because he would be worried that you'd leave him. However, after some time he'd approach you and apologize, and would treat you to something afterwards so you would know that he cares and that he wants to give you the time of day.

You guys would have to move around a lot for tours and offers. He would have a lot of fun treating you to exotic restaurants and finding underground tourist attractions. If you're the type who doesn't like to travel, he'd make sure to check in on you often, despite his busy schedule so that you wouldn't feel neglected or get lonely.

Jealousy isn't really a problem for Felix. He sometimes will get jealous if you're giving a lot of attention to another guy, but he trusts that you'll be loyal to him, so he normally will just laugh it off. Under worst circumstances, he would probably wrap his arm around you, as to "claim what's his".

For dates, they would be SO chaotic. Like trespassing on a random playground and just running around like idiots or going on a snack raid to target super late at night. There would be maybe one or two moments of calm, but calm is boring, and Felix is fun!

That pretty much concludes the headcanons for Felix. This is my first time writing for real people, so let me know if you guys (my single viewer o.O) would like to see more of this! I loved writing this, and my commissions are (almost) always open, so don't be afraid to send any requests!

~ 🍓

[narilgc]

𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐀 𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 . . . but i don’t regret the thing that i did !! hello all, i’ve been keeping this under wraps for the past few days but on a whim i’ve decided to bring on my second ( and last, i promise ) muse for the ride !! with that being said, it is jada here, max’s mun, but this time i’m presenting to you the wonderful im nari !! she was my initial idea before max, but i loved her too much to get rid of her !! i’m so excited for her to be here and i really hope she’s well received as well !! i’ve been slow on his acc for the past few days, and she’s the reason why, but now that i’ve gotten my life ( mostly ) together & things are running just fine again !! anyways, her profile’s here, and below you can find some general trivia on her as well as connection ideas !! oh, and like this to plot ! 

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 :

from damyang, south korea !!  a v small agricultural town & was born into humble beginnings - a seamstress for a mom, and her dad a farmer !! so she lived on a small farm when she was younger and was raised with pigs, cows, and goats as pets !

she helped around the farm her whole time she lived home, so she has a lot of life skills t & knows all about caring for animals and tending the farm !

they weren’t well off by any means - they had a small income to spread thin between all those people - but they made it work !! she never felt truly slighted as she knew their situation, in fact in her own way, she was spoiled in the best way she could be given their predicament.

raised in a household full of boys - she’s the youngest w a family of 6 loud, rowdy boys.

so in a way she’s more of a tomboy, used to roughhousing and all her sibling’s antics !! she’s also used to doing a lot of heavy lifting around the farm so has surprising strength for her size.

on the other hand, being the youngest & only daughter has upped the girliness !! she’s used to being babied so knows all about acting cute & her mom was always using her as an experiment for all her clothes !! was raised on handmade dresses her mom made in all sorts of intricate patterns & loved it !!

has been an actress in the making for a g e s !!! it all started when she was a really young kid, her mom would let her watch the tv in the tailor shop so she’d have something to do while her mom was at work !!

so there was this drama “a rolling hills romance” ( which i TOTALLY made up lmao !! ) that she absolutely loooved !! it was about a farm romance and was one of the only ones she saw that wasn’t taking place in the city !! it just got her in love with acting in general though, she’d eventually memorize scenes from all the dramas she’d watch and recite them out of the blue !!!

eventually it got her into theatre acting, which was her favorite !! she started watching broadway shows from abroad, memorizing the songs even though she didn’t always know what they were saying. but she just loooved the whole thing, and when she was in middle school she joined her school’s theatre department !

this is where the majority of her english skills came into play - she would memorize the lyrics, and though she didn’t really know what they were saying after a while she began to understand some words !! so while her pronunciation is pretty good from mimicking actors, she lacks the vocab to really use it !!

so she’s really hesitant to speak in english, because if people hear her speak they think she’s a lot more fluent than she is & it lands her in awkward situations !! so she mainly just ... doesn’t do that lol !!

i can’t believe i forgot this when i first wrote this !! this is a very vital part of her character omg !! her first “acting debut” if you could call it that was for a chocolate commercial when she was 8 !! basically she was in this christmas commercial for peppermint chocolates that got on tv and everyone in her town went crazy !! she like goes and delivers these chocolates while singing jingle bells and it’s wholesome and cute and swet !! it wasn’t that big at all lol but for their small town it was, and to them she’s a sort of small celebrity for it !! i’m sure some people might remember the commercial but notlike .... her yk ?? because that was her first and last role for a while lol !!

anyways !! she’s always been self-conscious of her looks - she felt like she wasn’t pretty enough, and limited her confidence. so at 16 she got 2 part-time jobs to begin saving up money, and at 17 she went to seoul to get a nose job & jaw reduction surgery.

and things seemed to be great after that !! she was confident, gaining more friends, but the real excitement came when her mom read online about an audition for legacy and jokingly asked if she wanted to do it. 

legacy had never even be on her radar !! she had always heard her friends talk about them for idols, but she had never thought of them as a company that accepted actresses. upon reading though, she was hooked !! she begged her parents, and they originally rejected the idea because they thought it was one of her phases. however, after much persuasion, they allowed her to attend auditions !!

she never expected to get in, she wanted to do it more as an experience than anything. but to say it was a shock was an understatement !! but she was so so incredibly happy.

had a hard time adjusting initially - she was only 17, and almost right after getting there she had to spend her birthday alone since she hadn’t made any friends yet. and although she’s naturally outgoing, it was really hard for her to be social at first because she was surrounded by so many more people than she was used to !!

for the past few years nari’s been doing general idol training, though that’s about to change !! she’s significantly improved her dance skills ( which were nearly nonexistent prior to training ) & gotten a lot better at her singing !! but her heart’s still deep into acting, and she knows that she wants to do that as well as some modeling !

she still suffers a lot with her self confidence, and there’s a lot of pressure for her to do well ! in school, because she’s the first of her family to go to university, and as a trainee, because she’s risked so much for it & doesn’t want to disappoint since her family has v high expectations for her !

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 :

a little lovebug !! she’s literally so loving and accepting of everyone - definitely, someone you can come to talk out any issues, she listens & provides support, free of any judgement !! also v keen on skinship i apologize in advance

she’s come out of her shell a lot since she got to seoul, but she’s still a little shy if she doesn’t know you well or is put in a situation w a lot of people !! pls be patient with her ^^

like max, she’s got a lot of energy in that little body !! but she actually has adhd so a lot of it isn’t really by choice. it frustrates her a lot because it limits her focus & has the tendency to make her restless. it was worse when she was younger, but has gotten better as she’s gotten older and she takes medicine to keep everything in check.

she’s also got v low self-confidence, she’s never been satisfied with herself and constantly wants to get better !! despite the surgeries, she’s still got a lot of insecurities both physically and not, but keeps them bottled up a lot bc she doesn’t want to burden others !! ( i want to shake her !! ) bc of that, she takes both criticism & compliments very seriously, she’ll turn all red if someone gives her the smallest compliment but will also overanalyze & judge herself if she gets critiqued. 

in fact her surgery’s almost made her more self-conscious, as she now feels that all the opportunities granted to her are because of her looks post-surgery. the worst insult she could get was she’s only succeeding because of her looks, because she’s worked so hard on her skills and she wants them to be what takes her forward, not something she had to pay to get.

despite that, she’s the true definition of a happy virus !! on the outside, she’s almost always smiling, and when all the other stuff doesn’t get in the way, she is on the inside too !! always trying to look on the optimistic side & give people a fresh perspective !

on that note she’s v childish, and sometimes she has to remind herself w younger trainees coming in she’s being seen as more of an example and needs to be ~serious~!!

the duality is real !! in performances, sad / angry scenes are actually her specialty, and right after she’ll just spring up and smile like what’s up guys !!! a lil creepy when she goes from sobbing to giggling so she’s learned to transition a little better lmao !!

she always wanted to be a youtuber, but never got the chance, and by the time she joined legacy she wasn’t allowed to have an account. so now she has these little vlogs she does to send her parents ! they’re mainly of her getting ready, hanging out with friends, and practicing ( all out of training hours, ofc ) so she can often be found seemingly talking to herself, even though she’s really recording videos !! 

though being an idol wasn’t her initial dream, she adores the music. her love for the kpop genre has made the last few years more bearable, and girl crush concepts are her absolute favorite !! she’s been religiously keeping up w future dreams like she’s still just a fan back at home, and you’ll catch her humming all around the company building !!

in fact, prior to joining legacy, she had a fan blog for all her faves where she would provide commentary called ri raves !! it was ... a sight !! 

she’s pansexual, and leaning towards girls !! it’s something she’s really shy about sharing bc of the fear of judgment, but if she tells you know you have all her trust !!

a little spoiled tbh !! she’s got the youngest child syndrome BAD, and since she was the only girl she’s used to things being done for her !! not in the bratty way, it’s just made her a little lazy and she loooooves attention and being doted on.

don’t let her appearance fool you though !! she’s got surprising strength ... strong woman do bong soon’s not her favorite show for no reason !!! all those years of defending herself from her brothers’ teasing had to come in handy, you know ?? we’ve got a black belt in hapkido here folks !!

definition of a theatre kid, starts bursting out into songs she loves out of nowhere omg it’s embarrassing ?? also overreacts about everything omg the world is on fire according to her !! she’s gotta faint dramatically !!!

she’s got the jeolla-do dialect, and prior to working on her standard dialect it was veeery prominent ! it makes her say a lot of words differently than someone from seoul might, and after realizing she was one of the only ones with it she’s been trying to make her speech sound more like standard korean nowadays.

she’s taken up sewing from her mom, and especially loves embroidery !! so she always loves upcycling & spicing her outfits up !!

definitely has a unique fashion sense because of it - in addition to that she’s very frugal, and favors thrifted clothing !! she’s got a mix of vintage, chic, and artsy style !

 a rule follower !! veeery unlike max, she tends to stick to the rules out of fear of what will happen if she doesn’t, because she has way too much on the line to quit now !

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 :

acting buddies ?? i know there aren’t too many, but even if that’s not your muse’s preferred career path, any muses who have a passion for theatre are welcomed as well !!

someone who unlike her, is v wild and lives on the crazier side !! she’s constantly going into a responsible panic when they’re around and they’re always trying to get her to loosen up !!

someone who co-stars in her little vlogs to her family !! hey, if you can’t be youtubers for real you might as well pretend, right ??

someone who made her adjustment to seoul easier as she transitioned from country to city life !! they’ve lived in seoul for a long time / their whole life and know all the best spots to show her !!

someone who’s clothing she likes to spice up, she’s always embroidering or adding pattern to their clothes to give their outfit a little flair !

someone who knows her past her happy side, who she’s got on speed dial whenever she’s feeling down and needs someone to talk to, and vice versa !!

someone who she came out too, be it on purpose or by accident, and it’s caused her to grow really attached to them bc it’s one of the most personal things about her !

a girl she’s got a crush on but is terrified to tell !!! like yes you’re pretty .... but these things are never easy !!! she’s gonna tell you .... eventually !!

and ofc - exes, flirtationships, summer loves, anything of the sort !

someone she lowkey fangirls over ?? she still hasn’t accepted the fact that she & the other trainees are kinda on the same level, someone she’s kind of became a fan of and can’t really function around them ??

by some crazy chance, this person has come across her old kpop fan blog at one time or another and won’t !!! let !!! her !!! live !!! it !!! down !!! will you accept her bribe and swear to never bring it up again ??? please ???

someone she doesn’t like ??? this is v rare but ... for one reason or another, she can’t stand them and transforms to a completely diff person around them !!

someone who made the mistake of teasing her a little too much or insulted her so much that she just straight-up tries to take them down !!! v unexpectedly !! bonus if it’s someone way out of her fighting capabilities !!

more ideas coming when i create an official plots page !!

[hero-israel]

Thank you so much for answering that giant, loaded question; I honestly have no idea how tumblr let me send such a long ask, but I appreciate you taking it in good faith, because it was 100% genuine. o.O

Thanks for the the source recommendations, I will definitely be looking into them. I am also interested in conservative sources for my own edification, but mostly asked about left-leaning ones so I can cite them to skeptical leftists if need be.

Part of why I asked the question is because every time I try to talk to non-Jewish leftists about Israel, I always feel like I have to add a disclaimer of "I know Israel has done some Bad Things, but..." and lately I've been questioning whether that is even a necessary thing to concede. So far no one has shown me anything real that is uniquely terrible or even on par with, say, the US. Anyway, sorry for long ask #2; I appreciate what you do here!

It is an easy trap to fall into, because society is so weighted towards antisemitism that defending Jewish rights and equality makes you look weird. One feels an urge to compensate, to look more "normal," by saying "Okay, my close friend's FB friend, maybe I just corrected your Gish Gallop through eight different racist conspiracy theories, but you can still trust me, I'm not one of THOSE Jews, I know Israel has done all kinds of fucked-up things like ____." Bonus points if one then feels obligated to give an idealized fanfic solution to the conflict.

And I DO know Israel has done all kinds of fucked-up things. That's what countries do, especially countries with giant military sectors. My side doesn't need to be perfect for me to denounce racist lies; the truth has no entry fee. Perhaps more importantly, I don’t like introducing the fucked-up things Israel has actually done because I have seen for myself that they are not well-known or cared about much by "critics,” and until I see those “critics” admit they were wrong and apologize (lol) for their false accusations and conspiracy theories, why do their job for them?    

Israel’s actual wrongdoings are relatively less-known precisely because Israel’s opponents see it as an evil horror movie monster that has to die at the end, as opposed to a mundane country with mundane problems and - God forbid - mundane remedies. An extremely online white socialist failson in CUNY can't blame his own sense of cheated destiny on something Israel did in 1958 and then apologized and built a memorial statue for. They need an open case, reaching into their own lives, elusive and unfalsifiable. They need what the Jews always were.

[peachyysugaa]

enhypen maknae line as e2l troupe requested by anon

– sunoo

how you became enemies: sunoo is so friendly i don't see how he can make any enemies ;;-;; maybe if you're also a bubbly person, it's an unspoken but real bubbly person competition? JFLGAKLJA basically you just send smiles to each other and everyone thinks you're good with each other, but they're actually lowkey menacing o.o'

"hi sunoo! ^^" is actually ugh you -_- and "hi y/n!! :D" is really try me biss :D

how you became lovers: the both of you eventually become tired of this weird competition you have going on and decided to finally talk to each other. after that, you two start over, become closer and even become best friends that slowly develop feelings for each other!

let's be honest, people were already shipping the two of you, so to see you two finALLY dating makes everyone so happy to see their it couple come to life.

you close your locker door to find someone behind it. this someone was none other than your notorious rival, kim sunoo, with that stupidly charming smile of his.

"hi y/n!" he says to you. usually, his words are laced with a hidden poison, but this time, you detected none of that. raising your eyebrow, it prompts him to go on. "can i talk to you for a moment?"

"sure!" you agree with the best smile you could muster. to outsiders, it may look cordial, maybe even just two friends talking to each other, but the two of you knew that it was far from friendly. nevertheless, you follow him into an empty classroom, where the two of you drop your smiles the moment the door closes. "what is it, kim sunoo?"

he lets out an exasperated sigh. "you know what this is about, y/n, don't give me that."

rolling your eyes, you cross your arms over your chest and shift your weight to one foot. "maybe i do, but i want to hear you say it."

"fine, fine," sunoo says with his hands raised. "i just want this stupid competition of ours to end."

"oh thank goodness you're tired of it too," you admit relieved. "i don't even know we started this anyway."

"whatever the reason, it's all over now," he replies, for once with a genuine smile on his face, for once directed towards you. if you said it didn't make you feel even one thing, you would be lying. you're hyperaware of every move he makes as he takes a few steps closer to you with an outstretched hand. "truce?"

"friends," you claim with your own grin and shake his hand. without knowing it at the time, this was the start of not just a brand new friendship, but also the start of blossoming feelings between the two of you.

rest of the maknae line under the cut! <3

line break insurance please ignore and enjoy!

– jungwon

how you became enemies: jungwon always managed to overshadow you in Everything, which prompted you to become angry/jealous of him. he, on the other hand, never meant to uptake you in a lot of things. he just knows what he wants and follows his own path and intuition, so he sees you as a friendly rival. not knowing that you hate his guts, jungwon treats you fairly even during the time the two of you went head-to-head for student council president, which he won, making you his vp.

he admires your hard work, but he doesn't know why you treat him somewhat coldly though he just brushes it off (much to your dismay)

how you became lovers: as pres and vp, you have time to get to know each other, but jungwon's kinda oblivious to your disdain for him and he just compliments you often because he admires your hard work! i think jungwon's the type to also remind you to take breaks because he sees how much you do and he doesn't want you overworking 🥺🥺 you notice how much he cares for you despite being president himself and your hate for him transforms into equal admiration!

he confesses to you first because you're a little slow on picking up that he likes you.

"y/n-ssi," the voice calls to you, prompting you to look up from your paperwork. upon lifting your head, you see that the person is indeed the student council president, yang jungwon, your longtime rival.

"yes, jungwon-ssi?" you reply, with a little sting to your tone. if he noticed it, he paid it no heed as always and simply walks forward to your desk, placing a carton of your favorite drink from the vending machine.

"don't overwork yourself, it's getting late," is his blunt answer before walking away. you just stare at the drink sitting on your desk as he's going out the door but peeks back in, appearing very catlike. "and y/n-ssi?"

"huh?" you say rather lost.

jungwon chuckles at your agape face. "you always stay longer than you should. if you end up working until dark, come by my office. i'll walk you home."

with that, he shuts the door softly while simultaneously opening a new door to your heart that was beating way too quickly for your own good.

– niki

how you became enemies: niki's got that class clown vibe down PAT. he plays way too many pranks on you, which sets you off. when you two are in the same room, everyone has to deal with your bickering. well, more like niki's verbal teasing and your nagging responses. needless to say, everyone knows your relationship with the prankster and knows by now to leave the room if the two of you are there together.

in truth, niki has a crush on you, but he didn't know how to express it. pulling pranks is his love language 😔💔

how you became lovers: just like one of the hyung line members, he takes it too far one time and actually makes you cry. he feels so bad that he panics and decides to fess up to you.

he asks his hyungs for advice before leaving a bunch of gifts and a letter for you to read because he's not sure if you want to see his face. either way, he's waiting for you at a park bench so that he can tell you his true feelings in person.

there's a quick rap of knocks on your front door before your mother tells you to go answer the door. getting up from your bed and wiping your tears away, you're still hurt from what riki had done to you at school this afternoon but get up anyway to see who was there.

peeking through the hole, you're confused when you see no one. instead, you open the door to a stuffed version of your favorite animal and your favorite snacks. when you pick up the items, you see that the envelope attached to the animal is real and has your name written on it. closing the door, you quickly open the letter and scan through the handwritten note to find out it's an apology note, from the one and only nishimura riki, the very source of your tears.

it was sincere and moved you enough to get changed and run to the park where he said he would be waiting for you. when you arrive, he indeed was sitting where he said would be, but he stands up slowly, mouth agape from your appearance.

"i..." you take a moment to catch your breath from running while he walks towards you to meet you partway. "accept your apology, riki."

"y-you do?" he blinks a few times as if to make sure it's not just a dream.

you just nod quickly and finally straighten your posture while finally taking in the right amount of oxygen. "yea, now tell me what you wanted to say. why couldn't you say it in your letter?"

"well, i..." he pauses, not thinking he would get this far. you wait as he tightly closes in his eyes to muster up his courage. "i've liked you all this time, y/n. i'm sorry i couldn't express that properly, but i'm willing to start over if you would let me."

hyung line version here!

[svnarintaro]

middle blocker/libero cuddling hcs !!

a/n: you guys really do like m writing about cuddling :// so gotta do some funsies 

tsukkishima kei

- he thinks he is too good for cuddles in public

- the moment you two are alone he will nudge at you until you give him what he wants 

- he likes spooning you

- or having lie on him

- he likes cuddling being a quiet time

- like meditation 

- he likes listening to all the sounds of breathing so he will hold you close and tell you to shut up when you try to even talk

you had your head pressed against tsukkishima’s chest, the sun was down. you heard how calm his heartbeat was, he was slowly falling asleep with the weight of your head on is body. “kei..” you mumbled out only to have a soft voice groan out, ‘shut up’ to make you quiet down. 

you silently giggled at his reaction. the two of you had a solid date that day walking around and shopping. you could practically see how he was seeking sleep at the moment. you reached up to cup his delicate cheeks and smiled. he took off his glasses and kissed your lips.

hinata shouyo

- ball of sunshine here likes to be held 

- he also just likes being physical with you 

- he likes to giggle a lot 

- a chatter box here loves to tell you all the reasons why he loves you 

- he loves telling you all the things he finds beautiful about you

- his favourite position is spooning 

- little spoon but he does all the talking as he kisses your fingertips 

“y/n..” hinata whispered in hopes to not scare you. you hummed to indicate that you were listening to him, “do you know how much i cherish you?” you hugged him a little tighter, “shouyo.. you tell me all the time..” you giggled out as you nuzzled your head into the back of his head. 

“i don’t think that there are any amount of words that could describe how much i love you,” he breathed out as he kissed your fingertips. you felt his chapped lips. “sho.. you sap, look at me,” you smiled and you came face to face with him and you kissed his nose. “i love you too.” you loved him and rested your chin on his head and cradled him in your arms.

yamaguchi tadashi 

- i am actually a total believer that he is actually a big spoon

- he likes holding you instead of being held

- he is a total softie alert 

- he likes holding you in his sleep 

- he does drool but if he gets any on you he will apologize and do anything for you the following morning 

yamaguchi and you finally got home form a long game, “y/n.. i don’t know why you do this anyways.. i barely play-” you shushed him and smiled at him longingly, “tadashi i go because i support you in everything that you do.” you hugged him as tight as you could to show that you were totally serious. 

“i’m not the star player you know y/n.. i don’t want to waste your time..” he sighed out as he patted your head. “tadashi, if i am with you my time is well spent,” you kissed his cheek the two of you drifted off to sleep in each others arms.

tendou satori

- chatterbox 2.0

- his legs move a lot 

- i know he is a person that would tell you all the things that happened

- he teases you relentlessly but in a cute way 

- he is the type of person that likes to keep you close but then when you need to pee he will let you go 

- he likes putting stupid movies on the background as the two of you make fun of the movie together 

- ushijima has walked in on the two of you once and he just said ‘nice’ and left

“tori why are we watching shrek again?” you groaned out, “correction.” he sassed and snapped in a z motion, “it is shrek the musical. you heard that? the musical.” he hopped into the bed and wrapped his arms around you. “i feel like i am dating a child.” you sighed out as you got comfotable in his arms. 

“well you signed up for this months ago~ and now you’re attached to me~” he peppered kisses on your face, “tori.. let me watch.. i’m mad at you..” you groaned and playfully pushed him away. you felt his body continuing to press against you, “y/n you know that i just want to have a fun a time with you here with me~” the red head teased and kissed your forehead. “tori we are practically with each other cause you are that clingy,” you teased back. “all to be better for you my dear.” he smiled and cradled you aggressively as the two of you watched the rest of the movie.

nishinoya yuu

- he likes facing you 

- like he loves to just look at you 

- compliments until the end of time 

- he likes being super intimate but the moment you get into his face and tell him how attractive he is he blushes 

- he likes cuddling a lot but the most memorable moments is when he just wakes up he gets all romantic

- he will stroke you r cheek in pure admiration 

the light peaked through the blinds, after a night hanging out with noya late at night the two of you crashed as soon as you two saw a couch. your back ached in pain but you let it go, “hey there you little munchkin why are you up?” a voice broke through your train of thought. 

 “you’re the one tat wanted mcdonalds at 3 am you idiot,” you complained as you cuddled closer to the libero, “well in my defence.. yeah i got nothing,” he pressed his lips to a think line. you laughed at his empty mindedness and kissed his cheek, “for you..” you looked into his eyes, “i would do anything for you.” and the two of you cuddled in your little world for as long as you pleased.

yaku morinosuke

- he is actually a big spoon o.O

- like he will refuse to be a small spoon 

- cause he never wants to be belittled for his height 

- but he just wants to hold you 

- i know for a fact he likes to cuddle with the window open so you can come closer

- but in reality he is the one tha moves cause he gets colder

“can we close the window?”  yaku asked as he moved closer to your body, “yaku you literally opened it an hour ago and now you want it closed?” you teased as you saw his face slowly turn into a subtle pink colour, “i- i didn’t mean to.. y- you know..” you saw as you embarrassed him even further.

“you just have been so stressed lately yaku..” you patted his back and played with his hair, “i’m getting worried here.” you admitted and sunk deeper into his warm body. the boy chuckled as he cuddled you even closer, “don’t worry.. you relive me from all of my doubts and worries..” he kissed your nose as he gave you the warm smile you’ve known forever.

[caramelcuppaccino]

i wanna know all fun facts about your trip

very bold of you to assume i'd remember anything my pretty fairy baby but i'll try just for you lemme think

1) the first thing that comes to my mind is a man following me in florence<3 he stopped when i called my friend and stopped in a crowded place but yeah

2) the moment i turned the street and saw duamo di milano i thought ‘damn, maybe life is worth living’

3) i was panicking because i really wanted someone to take my pic in front of duamo but i was on my own as you know but as i was looking around a couple approached me and asked me to take their pics and they took mine in return<3 saved my life honestly

4) my roommates were so cute!!! i quickly made friends with both of them and what i liked the best was that they gave me my time when i needed but when i wanted to be with them they accepted me!! an introvert's dream

5) THIS WAS MY FAV PART so there were two drivers and a tour guide and all three of them were turkish jdndisnskw and because thanks to(!) db i was a little late to the bus, the guide told me to sit behind the driver's seat so during the whole trip i heard their convos djskekwkkw so after some time drivers change, and the second driver didn't know i was turkish and he was angry at something and he was swearing a little kddkkswn then the guide said something to me in turkish and the driver was too stunned to speak skeajbxidnwlwnw he scolded the other two and was like why didn't you tell me she was turkish?!?!??! and during the whole trip whenever any of them said something bad they kept apologizing and i was treated like a royalty because i was travelling alone, turkish and a woman fndkdnekh

6) the guide genuinely thought i was older than him even tho we are probably at the same age or HE is older than me kdknsajkhk i think it was because i was travelling on my own y'know? and he kept calling me abla with respect all the time djcjskej it was funny and i enjoyed it honestly. abla means older sister but it's also like noona/unnie in korean. a lil turkish lesson here for free

7) i kinda fell in love with the waiter in the restaurant in milano where i ate my first pizza in italy. he was so kind and welcoming i even gave them 5 stars on google djdneksnkw

8) i video called my mom whenever i was in a big important place<3

9) seeing colosseum was actually my childhood dream

10) everyone i met was kind and welcoming (expect from that one place where i ate tiramisu, they were kind but kind of made fun of me and it wasn't good for my anxiety at all eheh) and it made me so happy<3 honestly at some point it was like being in my city in turkey because we're also sea people you know?? or like mediterrian people so i was like wait o.O but shout out to italian people thank you for being so kind and welcoming and cheerful honestly it helped me so much<3

turns out i remember some stuff dkdnisndjd i hope they are fun and interesting enough if not i'll yeet myself

[redenzione]

The Favourite: Esra/Ozan

Been a hot minute since I wrote anything. But these two just won’t quit me. Despite the show doing the utmost to prove these two don’t belong together. Hopefully we have come out of the worst of it and there won’t be any further stupid ‘misunderstandings’ due to an overall lack of communication. What a waste of 10 episodes. 

I’m of the belief that these two know how to get hot and heavy. The eye contact the comfortability, the lip biting! That rain kiss where they were all over each other? *Chef’s kiss.* 

I know I can do better, but the below is a first entrée after a few years off, so I'll ease myself into it. Any mistakes are my own. 

If you like what you read and have requests - feel free to ask, I can’t promise anything quick as this has taken weeks to get out. O.o 

Word count: 3500 (approx)

Rated: R16 (slight smut, dirty talk, references to sex) 

Based on this quote from the show (loose English translation): 

'Esra, don’t. You know perfectly well that that dress is not any ‘regular dress’ ...It has been my favourite...for a long time’

The first time Ozan had seen Esra in that dress he was pretty sure his brain short-circuited. 

And she wasn’t even wearing it for him. 

He was sitting in the café late at night, Esra’s mother liked to keep a table open for him while he was studying and Esra had come back from her date, cheerful but informing her mother that whoever she had met up with definitely wasn’t ‘the one.’

It wasn’t till she was out of sight and Menekse had hit him on the back of his head that he had managed to come out of his stupor. Having completely missed Esra’s greeting to him and any chance to seem less like a fool to the object of his affections, he had stammered out an apology to Menekse and quickly gathered his things to leave without even offering to help close as he normally would have. 

Everyone knew of his infatuation for her, no doubt even Esra herself knew, only out of kindness and pity did she show him any attention, even if it was just to see her a few nights every week when she was working or coming back from a date. 

He was absolutely resigned to loving Esra from afar for the rest of his life, being that awkward neighbour through the periphery of her life until she got married and moved away. There were some days where he couldn’t wait for that to happen, it would be agony to watch but all he had ever wanted was for Esra to be happy and if she wasn't around then he would be able to move on with his own life. Marry, have a family and maybe he could eventually forget her. 

At the moment, however, no other woman existed in his brain as a possibility other than Esra, to his own Mother’s chagrin. She had pleaded for him to ask someone, anyone out unable to fathom why no one would want to date her son. He had managed to way-lay her by focusing on his studies. 

Then he would be expected to make some kind of effort, the rejection he could handle - it was the jeering laughter and mockery that made it unbearable. 

Why would anyone want to date Ozan Korfaly? He had heard time and time again. And he knew the answer. 

Because he would never love anyone quite as much as he loved Esra and no woman deserved to be second-best in their husband’s eyes. 

Or, at least, in the dead of night when he couldn’t sleep - that’s what he pretended. 

¬¬¬

The second time Esra had worn the dress, Ozan had found himself almost immediately and uncomfortably hard. It was a reaction he usually managed to stifle when being around Esra - especially as a teenager when she had found her own personal style included wearing short dresses designed to do nothing but both make and ruin his day. 

Sheer willpower had kept him out of the more embarrassing situations, but occasionally his reactions managed to get away from him, usually when she did something out of the ordinary. Like stand too close, or wear a dress like that and then bend down in front of him. 

She was meant to be picked up for another date, but her date was late so she had decided to spend the time waiting by sitting down at Ozan’s table and telling him how he should not do this when he dated as it was terrible behaviour and she expected better of him. 

So flustered by the fact that she had chosen to sit down with him to wait, he had promptly choked on his meal and dropped his fork. Esra had responded by quickly jumping up and moving to his side to thump his back, once the food was dislodged she had bent down to grab the fork off the floor so she could replace it.

He had turned to thank her only to find his eyes directly in the path of her breasts as she rose to stand, his eyes stayed staring down to the floor as his brain whirred through the many reasons why she wasn’t wearing a bra while she sashayed away leaving him to stew in his own disgrace and arousal. 

He didn’t meet her eyes as she returned with a new fork and had mumbled out the most insincere ‘thank you’ the land of Turkey had ever witnessed. Ten minutes of awkwardness followed as he refused to raise his head and mumbled out one-word answers to Esra’s ever-growing annoyance. He praised Allah when her date finally decided to show up and whisk her off. 

Once she had departed, his head hit the table making all the cutlery and dishes clang slightly as he tried, mostly in vain, to sear the image out of his brain. He was already a degenerate when his imagination came to Esra Erten, the last thing it needed was further validation. 

He didn’t go back to the cafe for a month and 45 days. It was the longest he had ever gone without seeing her - he had never felt more miserable, not even when his Father had up and gone. 

It wasn’t until two years later, the third time she wore it, for their anniversary, that he was able to finally compliment her on it, with no grace at all, which she took in stride.  

And a few hours later he was taking it off of her. If there was one thing he found surprising about their marriage, other than the fact that it actually happened, was how natural and easy their sex life was. 

Their first time had been fumbling and filled with quiet laughter as they both admitted they had no idea what they were doing, but committed to figuring it out together.  

A year into their marriage they had easily found a rhythm that suited and despite him still being unable to compliment her smoothly he made up for it in other ways. 

¬¬¬

The fifth time she wore that dress he had to watch himself, they were divorced for long enough that the dress should not have had that kind of an impact on him anymore. 

But Esra knew exactly what she was doing. She knew what that dress did to him because he told her and she had witnessed it first hand. One night, not long after they were engaged she had complimented him on the colour of one of his shirts. They had lapsed into silence when he realised he didn’t know how to respond to his intended, basically saying she found him attractive in something. 

Esra had looked at him expectantly and then with exasperation had asked him if there was anything he liked that she wore. 

She rolled her eyes when he managed to stammer out ‘anything’ and looked at him pointedly, clarifying if there was anything specific. 

He managed to look anywhere except at her and knew that his ears were red but in the end, he did mention one particular dress he was fond of for very specific reasons. 

She now yielded that knowledge like a sharp blade, piercing through every memory he had fought so hard to forget, taking him back to a time where he didn’t know what unhappiness felt like. 

And now that unhappiness was so piercing he could feel the bitterness creeping up to solidify all of the cracks in his walls that she was trying to batter down. 

He had felt like the luckiest man in the world when she wore that dress. Mostly it was brought out for the anniversary of their wedding or his birthday. Moments of his life when he had been the happiest he could ever remember - because she had been in those moments.

It was the worst kind of glaring reminder that once upon a time he didn’t have to hide the fact that he wanted to take it off her, now he was back to where he started, dreaming about what could have been but only worse - because he knew and had lost it.  

He knew what was under that dress, his hands had explored under that dress, in their most passionate moments sometimes it hadn’t even come off and in some of their most tender, he had slowly removed it, doing his best to revere every part of her while doing so. 

If she had caught him staring more than once at her figure in that dress that night she didn’t let on. She then had the gall to claim there was nothing special about it later the next day, that she wore it for no particular reason. 

Lies.

She knew full well - as the fourth time she wore that dress, it had been his birthday, he had felt far more courageous than he was well within his rights to be and had ended up fingering her at the restaurant they were at.

What's more, was that she had let him. 

It was a memory so vivid he remembered every detail. Down to what the person sitting three seats behind him was wearing - not that it was important. Esra had walked past that table on the way back from the bathroom and the man sitting there had followed her stride all the way back to their quiet booth. 

Ozan remembered that mix of insecurity when the man raised an eyebrow and quiet masculine satisfaction when that raised eyebrow turned into a scowl as Esra kissed him on the cheek for ordering her favourite dessert instead of his own.

She had squeezed his hand in thanks before starting to take slow bites of the fruity dessert, their hands had remained entwined before she lowered them into her lap. The tips of his fingers lightly grazed her knee and while she remained oblivious to what the soft skin did to his nervous system, he remained acutely aware that if he moved his hand up by a few inches they would be entering dangerous territory. 

He had thought of it before, of course, they hadn’t however discussed anything of the sort, they hadn’t needed to. He was in no way displeased in any way thus far about their bedroom activities and hoped that she felt the same. 

Nor did he want to do this regularly. They’d had a little bit too much to drink, it was his birthday and the candlelight made Esra glow, she looked radiant and he wanted to see her come for him - sooner rather than later. 

He leaned in slightly and braced for what could potentially be a gigantic mistake, he kissed the side of her head and gently inhaled her perfume, letting his fingers gently stroke the skin on her thigh. She hummed slightly and he felt her lean sideways into him as his other arm came up around the back of the booth so that she could cuddle directly into him. 

‘Nice?’ he whispered, unable to keep his tone light, Esra took another small bite and smiled up at him, nodding. ‘Would you like some?’ She offered him a forkful and he smiled before shaking his head, ‘no, thank you,’ he met her eyes, ‘I plan on having something else for dessert.’ 

Her own gaze widened at the implication and her glow became rosy as she dropped her head down, ‘Ozan!’ she gently chided at his candour, suddenly shy but he knew from her tone she wasn’t displeased by what he inferred. 

She was still smiling, even if she wasn’t looking directly at him and he stroked her knee with his fingertips a few times before slowly removing his hand from hers, she looked up at him in surprise and he kept her gaze before gently drifting his fingers up her thigh and under her skirt. 

‘Ozan!’ She whisper-hissed his name again and he immediately stopped moving. She didn’t look scandalised or horrified, maybe nervous but also intrigued. 

‘No?’ He asked gently, ‘not here, at least?’ 

She stammered slightly which amused him, Esra very rarely hesitated over something to say which meant he wasn’t in ‘no’ territory. He gently traced circles and patterns, occasionally his fingers brushed her underwear as he waited for her to decide. 

‘Wha - what do you want to do?’ She asked quietly as she took another bite, she didn’t meet his eyes but her cheeks were still pink. 

He kept his fingers where they were and leaned in ever so closer to her to gauge every reaction from her exquisite face. ‘I would really like to get down on my knees and taste you while you are having your treat.’ 

Her inhale was sharp as he paused and considered his next words, ‘but that won’t be possible - not with everyone here watching. I don’t want someone else to see you come, Esra. I want those moments to myself.’ 

Her eyes flickered around the restaurant as though she had forgotten where they were, he extended a finger to run down the centre of her underwear and she bit down on her fork a bit harder than necessary. 

He let out a playful sigh and let his other hand curl in the tips of her hair, ‘instead, I suppose I shall have to prepare you.’ 

She removed the fork from her mouth and looked at him, ‘prepare me?’ she asked, confused. 

He nodded, ‘I want you so wet that you drip down my fingers,’ her inhale was shaky and the fork hit the plate with a jolt of movement. ‘So that when we get home, I can have you immediately.’

She moved her legs together, as though trying to create unconscious friction and he took the chance to move her underwear to one side and run his fingers down her slit.

He could feel how hot she was, how she was slowly opening for him. ‘I want you to beg for me to let you come here,’ his wandering digits found her clit and he gently toyed with it as she let out a quiet, short whimper, relaxing her legs even further.

He adjusted his hand so that his thumb was resting near to where her bud was and then his middle finger ran up and down her slit, covering her in her own wetness, ‘you know that I won’t let you Esra, but I want you to burn for me - like I always do for you.’ 

He gently pushed in one finger and watched as Esra bit her lip hard to avoid making any sound. He watched her tongue soothe over her bottom lip, he ached to kiss her, he eyed her lips as he spoke again, ‘very good, sweetheart - can you feel how you’re nearly ready for me?’ 

She didn’t respond and kept her eyes trained on the half-eaten dessert in front of her, he grinned to himself, the lip bite had been the first tell, she was trying to keep focused, to not let anyone know what they were doing. 

He gently removed his hand away from her and her eyes directly moved back to his, searching wildly for why he was stopping. He smiled down at her and brought his fingers to his lips. He could see the shine of her on his fingertips and smell her essence. 

He could see a faint tremble as he savoured her taste and her hand suddenly clutched onto his thigh, ‘we need to leave.’ She stood abruptly, he grabbed her hand and coaxed her back to sitting, ‘Esra, we’re not finished.’ He smirked at her, fully preparing for her to settle back in, instead, she moved her hand to rest over his heart. 

‘No, Ozan - we’re not finished. Not by a long shot.’ She whispered very quietly, eyes focused directly on him as she spoke, ‘because you are going to take me home, you are going to clean me up with your mouth and make me come at least twice before I may decide to sit on your lap and ride you into such an oblivion that you forget your own name.’

He sat there dumbfounded by the innocent look on her face and the dark, sultry timbre of her voice that he had never heard before.

Her fingers curled down across his lap as she leaned in to give him a lingering kiss, ‘you’ve prepared me so well Ozan, don’t you want to enjoy the fruits of your labour…’ she asked eyes knowing and so coquettish as she took a grape from her plate and offered it to his mouth. 

He managed to take the grape between his lips and raised his hand to call for the cheque as she sat back, immensely satisfied while he fumbled trying to eat the grape and explain to the waiter to hurry. 

¬¬¬

The sixth time she wore it was the last, and only because he had ripped it when removing it from her. So much so that it was irreparable.

Thankfully she hadn’t minded, they had worked each other up into such a frenzy that she had returned the favour, the buttons of his black shirt had pinged off and ripped down the middle when she tore it from him. 

Besides, she always looked best when in his clothing as demonstrated the next morning over breakfast. 

For the first time in many months, they were both single, he was divorced, finally, from Chagla. 

Cinar, in the end, was unable to fully trust Esra, especially when it came to him and she had turned down his proposal. He had learned that little nugget from Musa, who had heard it from Zeynep. 

He and Esra had been doing well as friends, not dissimilar to their teenage years, except there was now the added carnal knowledge to throw a spanner in the works. Here and there they had had the odd moment of chemistry. Too long looks, a touch of the arm, back or shoulder to steady or waylay. A warm smile as something triggered a memory. 

He had intended to wait a little longer before upping the ante, because as he had learnt, painfully, seeing Esra with someone else was not something he would be able to tolerate for too long a period. 

But they’d had a moment during the week where they had bumped into each other around a tight corner at work, he had steadied her and he noticed her eyes glaze over as she smelt his cologne. Their eyes had met and hers had flickered down to his lips ever so quickly, he would have thought nothing of it - but then she had bit her bottom lip. 

At his sharp inhale, because they both knew what that lip bite meant, she had dashed, stammering something about reports for Pinar.

Then she had shown up later that week to their launch wearing that dress. Between the dress and the lip bite in one week, he hadn’t stood a chance.

And so they found themselves at their house, technically he had it built but it was her name on the papers, not that she knew that yet. They were slightly tipsy and completely enamoured with each other in a way they hadn’t been for far too long. 

It was as though nothing could separate them now but they still couldn’t get close enough to each other as such, their clothing was in the way. Shoes had been kicked off, he had all but demanded she take her hair down and she had slapped his hands away when he tried to undo the buckle on his belt, complaining that he was taking too long and did it herself. 

She wasn’t wrong, he was taking too long, his hands were shaking and he was having difficulty multitasking between undressing himself and touching Esra’s skin. They hadn’t made it to the bed in the end, the rug had been soft enough as had the living room couch. 

Esra made some noises about replacing them, he had responded by suggesting to swap them for the unused ones that were in their bedroom. She had started to imply something about them finding themselves in a similar situation, but had broken off with a grin and deep blush as he pulled her tighter to him and kissed her deeply. 

As she started to doze he tucked in the blanket over them a bit tighter and started to gently played with a few strands of her hair, he didn't think she would ever understand how much she meant to him. 

Which was okay, he knew now that he didn’t have to go to such extremes like last time. He knew Esra better than anyone and this time apart had taught him far more than he thought. Esra still needed to learn about him, but they had time and in many ways, she knew him better than he knew himself. 

Whether she had worn the dress for him this time or for herself didn't matter, she was here in his arms and they had managed, despite every obstacle thrown at them, to get back to this point. 

He had never, growing up, imagined that his life could turn out to be like this. But somehow, the most beautiful girl in their area had chosen him. Not once, not twice but now for a third time, she had chosen to be with him and right now he was in his favourite place to be. 

Anywhere, with her next to him. 

¬¬¬¬

[seokmins]

as are you!!!! you're so so sweet 💚 i haven't read the webtoon, but the series was so good! they're making a season two o.o

absolutely!!! like if you enjoy doing it, who cares? 💚 thank you so much for your kindness, it's appreciated 💚 don't worry!! i will not be going anywhere, i won't stop making gifs unless my hands fall off or something 🤣🤣🤣

sorry for the late reply!! my broadband internet is temporarily broken because some builders accidentally snapped our cable, we're waiting on someone coming out to fix it <3 hopefully it's fixed tomorrow for us :))

Absolutely a darling you are 🫠💕 and ooh yes a s2 that's so exciting and also really hopeful for a series hehe

And Yas even if u ever need to take a break (gently cradles ur hands lol) I hope u stick around <333 ik a lot of ppl, me included, love seeing u on Tumblr 💕

And pls never apologize for responses!! I take 58490202 years to reply 😩😭 and naurrrr it's always a pain when builders do that jdkskkwow altho I'm glad it's at least nothing too serious! Have a good rest of the week and drink lots of water darling mwah