#for ex I had an exam due today

[whyoneartheven]

suddenly I have realized my bad habit of procrastinating has become a nearly debilitating fear

[sortagaysortahigh]

Operation Exemies to Lovers | Cregan Stark

A/N: Now yall know i have not written and finished a fic in a hot minute so sorry if this reads a bit wonky. Yk I'm an enemies to lovers and exes to lovers girl, so why not combine them both into a modern!cregan stark fic? Also, this is dialogue heavy as that's kind of my thing, if it's not yours, welpt keep scrolling boo I aint mad!. I also fixed the inc*st family tree so you'll see that in this as well (i'll prob keep it for future modern AUs). Anyways lmk what you think and enjoy! Also, I suck at summaries so I pull quotes from my fics, sorry not sorry pookies

Summary: “So y’know those sappy novels Hel’s always reading, anyways I asked her about them and she had one where the two main characters were like totally at ends with each other but their friends were like ‘nah they should be smashing’ so we think, based on our research and our scholarly source-Helaena, we should force them to be around each other until they finally talk it out! Or well, y’know-f*ck it out”

Warnings: cussing, spelling and grammar errors (sue me!), kissing, mentions of smut/allusions to smut but no smut, arguing, Alyssane Blackwood slander (sorry girl), somewhat mean!reader, this is an AU where Aegon's not a bad guy!!!! just a clown <3, mentions of an ill parent, Baela be hitting Aegon (he earned it!), Aemond is still missing an eye sorry to the Aemond girls

Word Count: 6.4k (period I stuck to keeping it short and sweet)

Modern!Cregan Stark x Fem!Reader

“He’s staring at you again” you scoffed, rolling your eyes, doing your best to focus on highlighting the passages about the few Westerosi Civil Wars that had happened centuries ago. It was already difficult enough to focus in the crowded library, midterms were killing everyone. 

It wasn’t a shock for the once quiet and almost empty library to be packed, especially with student athletes who were desperately catching up on their studies in attempts to pass all of their midterms, write endless essays, and practically beg their professors for extra credit via email. 

You should’ve been able to focus on the task at hand, studying with your best friends Baela and Rhaena for your upcoming history midterm, the exam itself would focus heavily on the several majors wars that shaped westerosi society as a whole, and would even include the transition from government leadership as a monarchy into a democracy. 

Hell you’d even have to describe what was once known as the ‘Iron Throne’ and its historical significance. Truthfully the large metal hunk of junk was now sitting in the King’s Landing Red Keep Memorial Museum.

Usually the library was the easiest place for the three of you to study, it wasn’t as loud as your fourth floor flat in one of the student apartment buildings off campus, it was usually pretty clean and well kept, plus every resource you could possibly need was somewhere within the large building. 

However today, your usually comfortable red leather-lined chair felt stiff and was making you hot, not to mention the lack of air flow and increased temperature due to the amount of body heat on each floor, then the lights were either too bright or too dim, and all you wanted to do was slam the books shut, grab your laptop and leave.

“Let him stare.” you muttered as you tried to keep your gaze on the text in front of you, however it was getting increasingly difficult as a very specific pair of eyes were practically burning a hole into your side. 

Gods, he was so obnoxious.

“I don’t think it’s healthy for you to hold onto the grudge against him, of course he totally earned it! I’m not downplaying your emotions but anytime he’s around you stiffen up like a virgin afraid of dick” your jaw dropped at Baela’s words, now staring at her, brows furrowed in shock.

“Baela! You can’t say things like that” Rhaena almost immediately swatted at her sister’s arm, shaking her head before tucking one of her loose locks behind her ear. “You really take after father sometimes.” 

Baela simply shrugged, glancing back at the two tables that were usually empty, now they were filled with six of the school’s hockey players, all spread apart with a plethora of books, laptops, pens, and notepads covering the tables. That’s also not counting all of their bags laying on the floor besides their chairs. 

“I get that you two broke up on not so good terms, but you should be showing him that you don’t care about him! Not that he makes you so angry you’re about to explode like a bomb in Mario Party”.

With that Baela turned her gaze back to her laptop, however at the sound of several texts chiming in at once to both Baela and Rhaena’s phones, you knew that their cousins had texted them once again. It made sense that they’d all shared a group chat, especially considering how close in age they were, and how large the Targaryen/Hightower/Velaryon family was. 

Of course the first time Baela had broken down their family tree you were incredibly confused. Her mother Laena Velaryon was married to Daemon Targaryen, who happened to be the uncle to her cousins Jace, Luke, and Joffrey’s mother Rhaenyra. 

Now, Rhaenyra was married to Dr. Strong (or just Harwin as he’d asked you to call him once at a family gathering you’d been invited to, to which you quickly declined as he was your Literature professor), but based on the Targaryen’s political status within Westeros, their sons took their mother’s last name, not their father. 

Then comes Aegon and Aemond, now truthfully you’d met Aegon your second week of classes a few years ago when he’d caught you off guard, asked for your number, then got mad when you’d ghosted him after finding out he had a girlfriend! (Shame on him, truly). But you actually ended up being pretty good friends with the goof. 

Anyways, Aegon and Aemond were the children of Rhaenyra’s best friend, and now sister-in-law Alicent Hightower who married Rhaenyra’s only brother Baelon Targaryen. 

It’s also important to remember that throughout this entire family tree, which was in fact drawn out on construction paper for you, Alicent and Baelon also had two other children, Daeron and Halaena, both of them attending Sunspear University together. Then of course Rhaenyra and Dr.Strong (Harwin), have two much smaller sons, Aegon and Viserys, which was even more confusing considering you’d already met an Aegon.

Rhaena and Baela shared a look, and it was a look that worried you, so of course instead of being rational and brushing it off, you clenched your jaw as you slowly turned around, making eye contact with none other than your ex-boyfriend who’d been leaning his head against his hand and staring at you with what could only be described as a mournful lovesick expression.

You rolled your eyes, quickly turning back around before anyone else would look at you and do something that would probably piss you off. 

It also didn’t help that the cousins texting Baela and Rhaena were also seated at the table with your ex boyfriend. 

“Jace said that Cregan wants to talk to you but you blocked him, I don’t think you want to know what Aegon said, but it involved an eggplant emoji and a bed” you rolled your eyes, letting out a deep sigh while sitting up straight and shaking your head.

“He’s apologized a million times and has yet to tell me why he decided to go out of his way to not only break things off with me and tell me he still loved me in the same damn sentence, then go out the same night and end up on Aegon-Aegon of all people’s instagram story sucking face with that Blackwood bitch while she was on his lap.” 

You let out a cynical laugh of sorts, rolling your eyes once again. 

“Tell Cregan Stark that I’d rather fuck Aegon after one of his alley-way vomit sprees than ever talk to him again” however, before you could focus back on your studies, an amused laugh came from behind you before the chair next to you was pulled out, only for you to meet the gaze of Aegon Targaryen himself, a lopsided smile on his face with his brows wiggling in a playful suggestive manner.

“Well if I knew the easiest way to get you into my bed was to go drinking until I’m sick then I would’ve invited you out sooner baby” with that he leaned closer while making kissing noises, only to be met with your hand shoving his face away.

“Aeg, for the last time, she doesn’t want you like that” he feigned hurt at Rhaena, sliding back into the chair with his hand over his heart. 

“You wound me dear cousin! You wound me!” then he sat up straight, now looking back at you “so I was sent over here as a trusted messenger. My boy back there, you know him quite well, if y’know what I mean-” he wiggled his eyebrows up and down again, then you shoved him “-anyways, Cregan has been like all sulky and heartbroken and he really misses you. And he doesn’t want anything to do with Alysanne! She came onto him!, so can you give him another shot?”

With that you simply shook your head, quickly packing your things up while scoffing. 

“Tell your “boy back there”-” you spoke with air quotations “-that if he really gave a fuck about me, he shouldn’t have dumped me after two years for no god damn reason, then fucked that Blackwood bitch-who by the way is a fucking whore!” 

Your outburst was met with the looks of many, Rhaena quickly clearing her throat watching as you packed your things away. “What she means to say is, she doesn’t want to talk to him. I think it’s too fresh still”

Aegon scoffed “it’s been four months people! Four months! The summer ended, it’s a new semester, I think she can talk to him now” he glanced around the table, eyes widening as he watched Baela grasp quite the hefty textbook while glaring at him.

“Baela don’t hit me! I’m just saying! Listen-” but before he could finish you’d already gotten up and mumbled that you’d see them at home while you walked away.

Aegon paused, watching as you walked away, blatantly checking you out for a few moments, then you’d disappeared. He then turned around and motioned for someone to come to the table, this is what led both Jace and Luke to walk across the room and now sit where you were sitting and in the last empty seat of the table.

“Listen, we’re all tired of being caught in the middle of this awkward divorce alright. So we came up with a plan!” Baela shook her head while Rhaena sighed slightly.

“No offense Aeg, but your plans are always horrible, need I remind you of Aemond’s missing eyeball?” Luke winced slightly, remembering the day he’d accidentally hit Aemond in the eye with a firewood poker when swinging it behind him.

Truthfully, Luke had no idea Aemond had entered the room when he and Aegon were ‘dueling’ one another, however he’d felt his poker hit something, and he heard Aemond’s loud scream of pain. 

They’d all been kids when that happened, and to make it worse it occurred on their grandfather’s birthday when everyone had traveled to King’s Landing for a large birthday dinner/family holiday.

“She’s got a point there Aegon, but-guys-we all came up with the idea together!” Luke placed his hands on the shoulder of his cousin and his brother, smiling widely while Baela and Rhaena both shook their heads in disappointment.

“Okay, you win, but if the idea is bad, Baela’s going to smack Aegon with that textbook, so pray it’s not bad” they all nodded, Aegon scooting back slightly.

“So y’know those sappy novels Hel’s always reading, anyways I asked her about them and she had one where the two main characters were like totally at ends with each other but their friends were like ‘nah they should be smashing’ so we think, based on our research and our scholarly source-Helaena, we should force them to be around each other until they finally talk it out! Or well, y’know-fuck it out”

He paused to take a quick breath “But we can’t let them in on the plan, otherwise Cregan’s gonna be all like ‘oh my god no she hates me, the love of my life hates me I can’t torture her, blah blah blah, I’m so nice and honorable, blah blah’ and she’s gonna be like ‘fuck that, I’ll kill him for fucking that Blackwood bitch and dumping me for no god damn reason’. Also I don’t think he ever fucked Alysanne-but I did-niether here nor there though!” 

Jace and Luke looked at Baela and Rhaena as if they were waiting to be yelled at by their mother, meanwhile Aegon smiled and nodded after his long winded explanation.

Rhaena spoke first “y’know honestly, your impression of her is pretty spot on.” Baela nodded her head in agreement before adding in “but if this doesn’t work, and she finds out, she’ll want to kill all of you and Cregan. I’m sure you all have realized being on her shit list isn’t exactly the best”

Jace nodded, glancing back at Cregan who was finally focusing on his statistics work with a stoic expression on his face. “Listen, if it doesn’t work and she kicks our asses that’s fine, but we at least have to try! I mean come on Rhae you told me that she cries over him still! And he’s no better. There might not be tears but he’s so long winded and mopey”

He then sighed, patting Luke on the back “I think this is our best shot. I mean c’mon they’re some of your guys' closest friends, and Winterfell over there’s my best friend that I’m not related to-oddly enough they’re pretty rare these days. They used to be so happy together! Now look at them both”

Baela sighed, nodding her head as she finally set the books in her hands down “she’s definitely not really herself anymore. Maybe if it doesn’t work, then at least they’ll both get closure from their relationship”.

Aegon smiled, nodding rapidly again “see! You guys get it!. Also don’t tell Aemond either, y’know he’s too ‘I’ve got a stick up my ass’ sometimes. We can call it operation-uh what’s the book trope that Helaena called it again-one second everyone!” he paused, grabbing his phone from his pocket before quickly calling his sister.

“Hey Hel, yeah yeah I’m good, what did you call that book again! The one where they were like forced to be around eachother then fuck it out and get married and shit?” 

Several hundred miles away, Helaena was grasping her nose bridge as she let out a deep sigh, her brother truly was a character.

“Oh-okay! Got it-thanks so much Hel, love you too! Give Daeron my love and remind him to wrap it up with those Dornish baddies!” with that he hung up the phone before meeting Baela’s disgusted glare.

“You’re so gross, Aeg. And stop saying the word baddies-you sound so cringey!” he simply shrugged at her.

“Anyways, now that we’re done being rude and judgemental to our baddie eldest cousin who’s super smart, funny, and beautiful, we’ll call it operation enemies to lovers!” 

Rhaena raised a brow “wouldn’t it actually be exes to lovers? Since they’re exes? I guess they might also be enemies based on the way she wants to wring his neck-and not how she used to-” with that her eyes widened as she slapped a hand over her mouth.

Jace sighed “don’t worry Rhae, we already know about the shit he let her do to him. Young love, what can I say” 

Aegon nodded his head, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively once again, then he slightly elbowed Luke, who met his gaze with a laugh before they both spoke in unison “kinky innit”.

“Anyways-are we doing this or not? I’ve got a history midterm to study for and you three are interrupting it, and it’s bad enough that Aegon already made the smartest person we know leave” It was clear that Baela was losing her patience.

“Oh come on Bales! Y’know if you’re still interested I can set you up with ol Benji over there, heard he’s a freak in the she-” there it was, the book smacking him in the face “-ow Baela! Jesus! You’re just like your dad! Mean and ever so beautiful to look at” he winked.

“Gross man, she’s our cousin!” he shrugged “didn’t stop our ancestors, okay fine-fine! I didn’t mean it okay! Shit. you all are so violent. The blood of the dragon I guess”.

-

Three days have passed and the TarVelTower group chat had been in constant communication about ‘operation exemies to lovers’ with the additional confused replies from those that were not present in the library that day.

They were planning a game night, it was something they’d all done in the past, inviting their other friends to come along as well for drinks and a night of utter tomfoolery. Baela and Rhaena had done everything but swear on the Old Gods themselves that Cregan wouldn’t be there, meanwhile Jace, Luke, and Aegon had to practically beg Cregan to come to Jace’s for the game night.

It was also a plus that most of them lived in the same building. Dragonstone University wasn’t that large, not compared to other schools such as Sunspear, Driftmark, or even Harrenhall-although it was rumored that Harrenhal U was in fact haunted, that’s probably what brought so many to the school in the first place.

Baela and Rhaena had to drag you out of your bed after your post-class nap and usher you into the shower, stating that you ‘stunk of outside’, which was rather rude considering your only classes today were virtual. 

They’d mentioned the game night several times, and each time you asked if Cregan would be there, they’d said no, which you found a bit odd considering Jace was literally his best friend and probably closest confidant. Maybe his father had come down from Winterfell again, but you were thankful that he wouldn’t be present to ruin your mood.

All you had to do was take the elevator up two floors, so all you did was shower and throw on a pair of sweats and one of Aegon’s many discarded team sweatshirts. It had his number on it and even after washing it what felt like a million times, it still smelled like his overly strong cologne that he claimed ‘the ladies love’.

He’d also told you that maybe you were an ogre for not loving it, which of course even further solidified your friendship with the moron (lovingly).

You took time to braid your hair, knowing that you’d probably wake up hungover without a want or a need to brush it, so this was just easier. Then you’d foregone makeup, knowing you truly didn’t care how people saw you, especially not your friends. 

Of course the one thing you’d always contemplated wearing sat on your desk, the thin gold chain adorned with a small charm in the shape of a howling wolf. It was as if it sat mocking you because almost everyday you’d stare at it while getting ready.

You’d worn it everyday for a year after Cregan gifted it to you. He randomly showed up at your door one day, slightly out of breath, a wide smile on his face with his disheveled hair pulled back. One hand rubbed against his short beard, while the other held a small black gift bag. He looked as if he’d run here, then was contemplating the decision to run in the first place.

Then he’d kissed you gently, a smile you rarely wore now, adorned your face then.

When you invited him in, he was quick to follow, shutting and locking your door behind him while you made your way to the small kitchen, grabbing him something to drink as he caught his breath.

Then as you spun around to hand him the drink, he held the bag out for you, practically forcing you to open it (it wasn’t forceful at all, rather when you declined opening it immediately, he didn’t hesitate to place the strings of the bag between his teeth before picking you up, then plopping you down onto the couch, soft giggles leaving your lips when he climbed right on top of you.).

You remembered him watching as you opened it, he held himself up overtop you, while you easily pulled the small jewelry box out of the packaging, then when you opened it he looked almost nervous, as if you wouldn’t like it.

But you’d kissed him, pulling him down into your lips, thanking him between rushed kisses. 

You shook your head, snapping yourself out of it before grasping the necklace and shoving it into one of your desk drawers. Out of sight, out of mind, you’d tell yourself-until you’d go looking for a pen and see it again.

Rhaena’s voice knocked you out of your thoughts completely, she stood in your doorframe, her posture a little too straight, which would’ve normally thrown you off, but you couldn’t focus on that, not when you were trying to shake off the feeling of heartbreak.

“You ready? I’ve got the snacks already packed to bring up, you’ve just got to grab our blankets. Baela’s already there helping set up. Aeg said he’d give her twenty bucks if she’d actually arrive earlier than him for once” you laughed at that, shaking your head slightly.

It was no secret that Aegon and Baela were incredibly competitive, and as cousins, they had what could only be described as a sibling rivalry, always trying to one up one another when they could, and making stupid bets over random things.

You actually liked that they were all so close, when you’d befriended Rhaena, you never thought that she and her sister would come with a large family that would welcome you in with open arms.

“Yeah, just, let me-um-get my shoes, yeah my shoes. Sorry” you were mumbling and stuttering as you walked to the shoe rack beside your door, slipping your feet into your fuzzy slippers before following Rhaena to the living room, grasping the small pile of throw blankets before the both of you left your apartment. She was quick to lock the door, then you both headed upstairs.

You were still technically early when you arrived, and as you entered the apartment Aegon was handing Baela a $20 bill, while she smirked. Luke was laying on one of the couches on his phone, Jace was putting drinks in the fridge with the help of Benji who honestly looked happy to be there. Meanwhile Aemond sat reading whatever random philosophical book he’d chosen for the week, and to your surprise, Helaena was pulling what smelled like cookies out of the oven.

“Hel! You’re here!” she smiled when she saw you, placing the tray down before meeting your embrace. “Yea, I actually was visiting my parents and Aegon picked me up earlier.” you smiled at that, you enjoyed her company, even if it was a rare occurrence. 

By the time everyone was settled in, around forty-five minutes had passed, and everything was nice. For the first time in a while you weren’t on edge, which was definitely noticeable, and you’d actually managed to relax into the large bean bag below you. Even if it did remind you of a certain someone.

Then, it was as if you’d summoned the asshole himself.

Jace was quick to shoot up and walk to the door, glancing at his phone nervously. Then he opened the door, nervously laughing for a few moments.

Then you spotted him. Not before Aegon, who was already tipsy, had managed to shoot up from his spot on the ground “Cregan! Glad you could make it man!”.

Baela and Rhaena watched as you let out a deep sigh, it was clear you didn’t want to ruin the night, so you simply turned to face away from the door, burying yourself further into the bean bag, covering yourself in the throw blanket as much as you could.

It’s important to mention that the bean bag happened to be big enough for two people, and for a long time, it’s where you would sit with Cregan, well technically, given his size, you’d be cuddled up together, and now, as his gaze found you ignoring him on that bean bag, the gloomy cloud that followed him around had resurfaced.’

After a few tense moments of silence, everyone commenced what they were doing.

Aegon, still standing, held up a deck of cards.

“For today’s game night we’re gonna need to partner up! Rhaena, you’re with me tonight! I need your smarticle particles!” you blinked slowly, Rhaena was usually your partner. Then you sat in silence as you watched everyone partner up.

Baela was shoved into Benji-literally shoved by Aegon. 

Aemond chose Luke as he stated their team needed “balance”, which actually made a lot of sense considering Aemond was always somewhat brooding, and Luke was a ray of sunshine.

Jace glanced between Helaena and Cregan, but when Baela shot him a pointed look-missed completely by you-he chose Helaena.

Which of course left you with the one person you wanted nothing to do with.

Rhaena tried breaking the ice, watching as Cregan awkwardly sat in the armchair beside the beanbag. “It looks like our old winning team is back together!” you were the first to scoff.

“Hey! They used to cheat!” you couldn’t stop yourself from responding to Aegon “actually he waited until we broke up for that”. As you spoke, everyone’s eyes widened, meanwhile you remained in your spot, staring at your phone, mindlessly scrolling through instagram.

However, as good of a guy that Cregan Stark is, you were the only person that was ever able to bring a different side out of him. You two rarely fought, but when you did, it was almost catastrophic and usually ended in very rough sex, or a heartwarming apology after ignoring one another for a few days. 

But you’d never broken up, you both took time to cool off in whatever way you needed.

Things are different now.

“For the last time, she came onto me! I’ve told you this thousands of times!” As he raised his voice, the frustration in his tone was evident, and his accent sounded thicker than usual-a key indicator that he was upset. So instead of backing down, you scoffed, now looking at him, fury evident on your features. 

“Yeah because a man your fucking size was so easily overpowered by her right! She just waltzed right up to you and beat you into submission or something?! Oh fuck you Cregan!” 

The two of you held eye contact, anger and frustration evident.

Aegon slowly sat down, leaning towards Jace and whispering “I think it’s working”, meanwhile Jace shook his head, having been witness to the few fights that you’d actually had with Cregan in the past.

“What would you have wanted me to do, I was shitfaced! Was I supposed to shove her to the ground and tell her to go fuck herself?!” you nodded your head at that, now sitting up, even closer to him than before. He stared down at you as you stared up at him.

“Yeah actually, that’s the best fucking idea I’d say you’ve ever had!” he scoffed.

“We weren’t even together and you hold that against me! Still!” That's what sent you over the edge.

“You fucking dumped me for no god damn reason, told me you loved me, and then went and fucked that Blackwood Bitch! The same fucking day! As if I meant nothing to you, we were together for two years Cregan! Two fucking years!” 

He heard the crack in your voice, everyone did. As you stared at him, he could see the way your eyes glossed over, he knew you too well. He knew the tears were coming.

“I tried to talk to you-you didn’t wanna hear anything!” you shrugged, gathering your things as fast as you possibly could, now looking anywhere but him.

“You don’t fucking deserve to talk to me you asshole”. Then you stood up and did what you always do in these situations, you ran away and left.

He was left there in shock, staring at the door, jaw clenched while he watched you leave. 

“Well that’s one way to start a game night” 

“Aegon shut up!” cue the smack “Ow! Baela! Stop hitting me! Go hit Benji, he likes that shit!-ow! Seriously?! Jace and Luke, get your cousin!”

Then in unison “she’s your cousin too!”

And finally, Benji piped up “is she talking about my cousin?” 

Instead of watching you waltz away, Cregan stood up, grabbing his things and mumbling his own apologies. Then he left, he knew exactly where you lived, so instead of taking the elevator, he rushed down the stairs, trying to cool off. 

When he stood in front of your door, it felt like a routine, something his body was so used to. As if this was muscle memory for him.

Then he knocked, once. No response. 

Twice. Nothing. 

Three times-maybe third times a charm. Nothing.

He stood there, his forehead leaned against the door. Cregan Stark was not a man of regrets, hell he prided himself on actually being a good guy, he was raised to be respectful, to be kind, to be strong, Stark men were not assholes. They weren’t childish, they weren’t selfish, they were supposed to be honorable in every way.

But here he is, leaning against his ex-girlfriend’s door, still in love with her, full of regret for ever breaking things off. He hadn’t even explained himself. He wanted to-he’d tried that day, but you stormed out, tears that he’d caused flowing down your cheeks. 

Then he felt the door shift, and you stood there, wrapped in the same blanket, eyes red as you stared up at him.

Gods, all he wanted to do was tell you he loved you, that he needed you, that you made him feel whole.

“I don’t have any fight left in me Cregan. It’s been months, why can’t you just leave me alone.” 

“Because I love you.” you sighed, shaking your head “no you don’t. If you loved me you wouldn’t have left me.” 

Sure you might’ve been being dramatic, but truthfully, you’d been heartbroken for months, following your breakup you’d lost ten pounds in two weeks. You’d never felt worse, and now, you were starting to feel alright, but it was no secret that there had been many nights full of tears, hugging a sweatshirt that you’d never washed, hoping to preserve the smell of his cologne.

“Can you just fucking listen to me for five minutes, please, I’ve been trying to talk to you for so long, just please-let me talk to you” you shrugged.

“Why?” he blinked a few times, taking a deep breath, running a hand through his hair-hair that you used to always touch, forcing him to sit between your thighs while you braid his hair, laughing when he’d complain, or when he’d do poses for you after you’d finished.

“I love you, I’ve never stopped loving you, I go to sleep at night and my dreams are filled with you, your smile, your laugh, even your fucking frowns. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything. My heart fucking yearns for you. I can still feel the way you used to hold me, the way your breath felt against my neck, Gods, I think about you 24/7! I think about everything that I did, the way that I screwed up-I screwed us up. I love you! I’ll scream it from the fucking rooftops if that’s what you want!” 

You didn’t bother wiping away your tears, instead you stepped aside, leaving room for him to come in.

“You want to talk then talk.”

Then he walked inside, and shut the door the same way he used to. 

It truly was muscle memory, the way he walked to the couch and sat down in the same spot he was always in, then he waited for you.

He watched as you slowly sat next to him, still wrapped in a blanket like a sad burrito-Gods he spent too much time around Aegon. He didn’t hesitate to wipe the tears from under one of your eyes with his thumb, repeating the action on the other cheek.

“I didn’t want to break up with you. I never wanted to break up with you. My father’s-well he’s sick at home, I was going to leave, go back to Winterfell to take care of him, to take care of everyone. I just-I didn’t want you to be alone here, and I didn’t want to be your long distance boyfriend that you only ever see on fucking facetime. I just-I couldn’t do it.” 

You were silent, watching as he broke slightly, his voice cracking at the mention of his father, then at the mention of you being alone. 

It was no secret that Cregan and his father were close, you’d met Rickon Stark twice, and each time he’d embraced you with open arms and a warm heart. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he shrugged.

“Because, I’m supposed to be strong, I’m supposed to know my duty to my family, I’m supposed to be there for them, and it was hard-hard to say that I had to leave you for an unknown amount of time. I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to go a day without seeing you, you make me crazy in the best way, even now, whenever I see you on campus my heart practically flies out of my chest. Seeing you at my games, you’re like a ghost haunting me.” 

You slowly nodded, listening to him, watching the way he’d blink away his tears, the way his brows would furrow and jaw would clench slightly. 

“My dad’s the one who told me to stay. Told me not to throw my future away, that he’d be alright, y’know he’s a fighter-always has been. Told me to get my girl back-” he let out a small chuckle, the laugh laced in sadness “-but I think she doesn’t want me back. I went back up after we split up, just for a week, and he told me I was an idiot to leave it all behind. A full ride to Uni if I kept playing hockey? The girl of my dreams? Called me a bloke before he told me that he’s okay, he’s not letting go anytime soon” 

Cregan hadn’t been looking at you, he was focused on his hands, fists clenching slightly as he tried to swallow his own emotions. He hadn’t noticed the way that you’d been inching closer, not until your arms were wrapped around him, head leaning against his shoulder.

“You could’ve just told me from the beginning. I would’ve been your facetime girlfriend y’know? Would’ve figured out a way up there”

The familiarity of it all was what made him break, a small sob leaving his lips while you held him. It didn’t take long for you to shove him further into the couch and climb into his lap, the same way you used to when all you wanted to do was be as close to him as possible.

You held him, sat atop one of his thighs, arms wrapped around his shoulders while he cried into your shoulder. His arms gripping your waist, holding you against him. 

This is what should’ve happened all those months ago.

“I’m sorry for being a bitch” he laughed at that, and you felt his small smile. Meanwhile you ran a hand through his hair, fingers dancing through the dark locks before slowly running against his scalp. Your other hand traced small circles against his shoulder blade, you missed this.

You missed him.

“You weren’t a bitch-I probably deserved that.” you scoffed, moving back slightly, now holding eye contact with him as you brushed his tears away. “I was a bitch, I was the biggest bitch ever.”

He smiled, shaking his head “She really did come onto me. I did push her off-” you shushed him “I know. I believe you, I just-I dunno. I was hurt, then I saw that and it just stayed with me. I figured you dumped me for someone else, someone better-” he cut you off with a kiss.

It was so gentle, so soft, so sweet. Then he pulled away “there’s no one better than you for me. I’m sorry I wasn’t honest. I just-I didn’t want to look weak and I didn’t want to leave you and-” you shushed him again, this time holding a hand against his mouth.

“Shut the fuck up Cregan Stark.” Your tone was light hearted as you shook your head “You’re not weak for having emotions, and you aren’t weak for wanting to care for those that you love. Don’t be stupid, we’ve both been stupid enough.” he nodded his head, then you slid her hand down, now caressing his face, your thumb lightly pulling on his bottom lip.

“I missed you” you smiled, a small giggle leaving your lips.

“Based on the way you stare, I could tell” he rolled his eyes “gotta commit your beauty to memory somehow” you slightly shoved his shoulder “you cornball!” 

“I missed you too loverboy”

Then you kissed him again, a slow, passionate kiss full of emotions, smiles, and even a few giggles. He then slid his hands under your sweatshirt, and you quickly pulled apart, letting him take it off, leaving you in just your bralette, then his lips were on yours again.

Before anything else could happen the front door swung open, startling you both, leading to Cregan’s grip against you tightening, meanwhile Aegon and Jace both hit the floor, while Luke stood there awkwardly, Rhaena shook her head, and Baela looked as if she was being held back by Benji. Meanwhile Helaena and Aemond were nowhere to be seen.

At least until they moved closer to the doorway, both of them shaking their heads and muttering “fucking Aegon” in unison.

“I told you guys it would work! Look at them! Kissing and close!” Aegon still spoke, even from the floor while Jace was on top of him. Then Jace slowly rolled off, letting out an ‘oof’. 

“Were you all eavesdropping?” Aegon blinked a few times at your question, glancing back at everyone else. Then you noticed the flush on Luke’s face and Rhaena’s awkward expression. Plus Jace was nodding his head. 

“Why did the Gods make him our brother?” Aemond shook his head “I truly do not know.” 

“So are you two back together now?” 

You sighed, standing up and grasping Cregan’s hand, pulling him towards your bedroom.

Cregan glanced back, still laughing at the scene “yes. Now please, fuck off mate”

With that you pulled him into your room and locked the door.

“They’re all the worst” he nodded his head at you, he’d expected you to pull him into your bed, however you walked towards your desk, rummaging through the different drawers until you found something. 

You glanced at him “can you help me with this”, while holding up the necklace.

“I’d be honored” you rolled your eyes, a bright smile on your face while he walked over, taking the necklace then as gently as possible, clasping it around your neck. Then he left a line of open mouthed kisses from below your right ear, to the edge of your shoulder. 

“I love you” his voice was soft, a whisper, almost as if it was a secret shared between the both of you.

You smiled, spinning around, one hand now on his face, the other on the back of his neck, fingers tracing circles through his hair. “I love you too”

-

Taglist:

Girl it dont exist LMAO

[alizayildiz]

Announcement: I don’t know who sent me a request bc it was anonymous but girl if you see this I misse posting too. But my exams are over and I’m back on posting regularly. I have to write a few requests on Wattpad and I’ll upload them on tumblr too!

This one is especially made for you!

Summary: Kenan’s thinks you can’t come to watch his important football game due to both of y’all’s schedules. However you manage to surprise him.

„Miss Yildiz, what a beautiful surprise that you showed up" Coach Montella spoke as he pulled me into a hug.

I don't know since when but it's gotten into a habit that everyone calls me by Kenan's last name. Not that I mind it, I quite enjoy it and to be honest Kenan does too.

Yildiz.

"Well, I try my best to support you guys" I speak as Coach Montella and I walk towards the VIP Lounge of the Allianz Stadium in Berlin.

After the Turkish National Team won 3:1 against Georgia they now play against Czechia. Normally they would play against Portugal but something came up with them and now it's Turkey vs. Czechia.

And normally I would be in New York City right now having a photos shoot for Victoria's Secret. A massive brand with a good name.

But I decided to reschedule the photo shoot. It costed me many nerves and phone calls to reschedule it but in the end I managed to do so.

I wanted to support Kenan through this entire European championship and that didn't work from the beginning on.

Because I missed the opening match against Georgia, he even scored a goal. So now I try my best to make up for it.

Kenan has always been my biggest supporter at everything you do in life. So it's only fair that I'm his biggest supporter too.

As Coach Montella talks me through the details of  today's match I can't get my mind of the fact that Kenan's ex girlfriend Karlotta will be here too.

I absolutely despise that girl not only for what she has done to Kenan but also for that she has done to me.

„So five minutes before the game ends security will walke up with you to the pitch, is that alright ?" Montella speaks looking at me for an answer.

„Absolutely, yes, thank you" I speak smiling at Kenan's coach before the man leaves.

As I walk around the VIP lounge I make myself comfortable, one hour until the game stars and two hours till the game ends.

My outfit was simple but yet elegant, knowing that Kenan prefers if I walk around more elegantly than slutty.

After plugging my phone into the charger I open my Spotify playlist, good thing that these VIP boxes are sound proof.

Not so sound proof when Kenan fucks me in here though...

Opening the refrigerator I pull out a redbull and wash myself some fruits like strawberries and cranberries.

After placing them nicely on a plate I walk to the couch and let myself fall on it.

Gosh, sitting feels good.

I grab my iPad from my handbag and start to work online.

~

As planned I got done with everything I had on my to do list for today.

As I stood up I looked down at the pitch, the Turkish National team singing their national anthem.

Kenan was the tallest player in the team, he was also starting in the first eleven lineup. After finishing singing they positioned them for team pictures.

In the first one Kenan had the post serious face ever, probably because he thinks I'm in New York and not here at his game.

The second picture turned out more motivated, still his smile dropped instantly as the cameras got away from his face.

The Czech people took their time with their national anthem as well as with taking pictures.

While Kenan positioned himself on the pitch the Czech players waved as fans.

Kenan made a quick prayer and so did Arda and Hakan.

All three of them praying for good luck on the match.

During their prayers the commentators of the match called up the line up from both teams. First Czechia then Turkey.

I looked at the big screen and let a a high pitched yell as I saw Kenan's name on it. The stadium loosing it too as soon as they saw him.

Kenan looked up to the VIP box where I was sitting every few minutes, before and during the match.

It's like he knows I'm here. I know that he possibly can't even see me from down there but my gut feeling tells me he does.

Kenan has this gift to spot me whenever I am, he just feels my presence.

As the referee whistled the first half of the game started. Clearly Turkey had more dominance.

In minute 25 Bariș Alper Yilmaz scored.

Two minutes later Kenan scored.

The stadium went loud fans jumped up and down yelling his name. Kenan held up both his hand and then placed on his heart. Dedicating his goal to the Turkish fans.

Clapping both of my hands together I smile down at the football field.

With that Kenan breaks Cristiano Ronaldo his record. What a great success he achieved for his career.

I pull out my phone making photos of the remarkable moment.

Then seven minutes after Kenan scored Arda scores.

3:0 it stands.

Turkish fans are going wild while Czech fans are watching their team loose.

Coach Montella jumps up exited and kisses each of the three guys on their heads, hugging each of them.

Fifteen more minutes pass and then the first half ends. 3:0 for Turkey.

~

"Miss Yildiz, it's time to head to the field" the security guard spoke as he pulled me out of my thoughts.

I sept half break arguing with Karlotta and how she should just leave me and Kenan alone because she and he are in the PAST.

But what if they aren't, and he just lies to me ?

I gather myself following the security guard.

4:0 for Turkey, Hakan scored a goal in the second half which is about to end in exactly five minutes.

As we passed trough different VIP boxes and different hallways I finally was on the pitch.

Behind the barrier but close enough.

And like always it didn't even took Kenan more than thirty seconds to spot me.

He was on the other end of the field and immediately came up running towards me.

The referee had whistled a minute ago so the match was over.

As the cameras focussed on Kenan running towards you fans and commentators applauded at the two of you.

Kenan was not wearing his jersey anymore he pulled it off himself as a form of celebration, so did the rest of the Turkish national team.

Jumping over the barrier he pulled you into his arms giving you thousands of kisses on your forehead.

"Kenan" I chuckled between laughs.

"Did you watch the whole match ?" He asks out of breath.

"Yes Baby, and I'm beyond proud of you" with that Kenan pulls you into a kiss.

I didn't care if he tastes like sweat or even smells like it I just wanted to feels his lips against mine.

The fans going crazy loud even congratulating Kenan on pulling such a beautiful girl like you.

Kenan he let go of you.

"I love you, that's the best surprise you could ever do for me" not even letting me time to respond he crashed his lips on mine again, depending the kiss.

One of his hands had a firm grip on my jaw while his other hand travelled down to my lower back.

Totally worth rescheduling my photoshoot.

Fans were busy taking photos of the two of you and so were you and Kenan.

He's the biggest golden retriever boyfriend ever so he absolutely adores posing for pictures with you.

As he gave you a kiss on your forehead you closed your eyes enjoying the moment.

What a luck that your camera went off in that exact minute. The most wholesome picture ever of the two of you just got made by your phone.

A jealous Karlotta standing in the crowd, eyeing the two of you.

[tyunni]

🦢̼ࣳ 10:36ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ( you're just a warm body to hold , at night when i'm feeling all alone )

Genre (𝐈): heeseung x fem!reader , angst , exes 2 nothing. Warnings (𝐈𝐈): toxic relationship , y/n is overly obsessed with heeseung , mentions of somewhat making out? not properly proofread so there might be grammar mistakes ! Word Count (𝐈𝐈𝐈): 1k+;

𝒜uthors note: 2 may posts in a row is absolutely mind boggling! this is for @jlheon 's bea event, very fun to write! (i'm not quite sure if I'm past the due date, if i am just consider this a normal drabble! today is my last exam so i was busy all day yesterday ㅠㅠ)

Laying in your bed at 10:36 PM, your eyes brimmed to the top with hot tears that feel almost as heavy resting atop your bottom eyelashes as the feeling of your sinking heart is when you finally realize that love is, indeed, pain.

You think about him. He and his beautiful, round, chocolate eyes that once looked at you so curiously despite the bags under weighing them down, how his slanted nose turned red when the cold air hit his face, how soft he felt under your fingertips when you traced each and every one of his features. Back then you felt as though every dent and imperfection in your fingerprints fit perfectly against the texture of his skin, connecting like puzzle pieces every time you stopped the motion of your wrists and rested your palm against his cheek, your own curious eyes greedily taking in every little detail about the boy in front of you. His ravishing, charming smile that would make its way onto his face when he caught you admiring the shape of his lips was far too alluring for you to notice the slight twitch of his eyebrows, a saddened expression replacing the one of mischief and genuine desire of fun.

That’s all you were to him, fun. But to you, he was everything. The way he would smile against your skin, his big hands resting on the small of your back as his guidance towards his lap ended victoriously, with you situating yourself on his thighs and giggling at the ticklish feeling of his dark locks dancing against your sensitive neck. The thought of that, back when Heeseung was still yours, usually made your heart flutter and your knees go weak, but now that it’s nothing but a memory, the same butterflies that would roam around your stomach happily now gnaw at the enclosure and slowly climb up your throat, your palm swiftly slapping against your mouth to stop them from escaping. Dizziness and nausea came naturally after your mind would get flooded with the thoughts of Heeseung, you felt every symptom of food poisoning in the wake of swallowing Heeseung’s rotten heart with a proud smile on your face. You felt sick, love sick.

After an hour of laying in bed, trying to drown your sorrows with your own tears, you decide to call him. The past month you had had your ex, if you could even call him that, on dial almost every night, his warm embrace like a drug you couldn’t get enough of. Your shakey digits press against the numbers on your screen, and with just one click you were officially crawling right back to him. Heeseung decline your call, which means he’s on his way to you, again. You need him, again. He’ll come over and lull you to sleep with his soft touches, again. Next morning you’re going to wake up to an empty bed and pretend this never happened, again.

After a while you can hear the creaking of your door, indicating Heeseung has entered your room and has returned to you.

“y/n,” you feel your bed sink as he sits right beside your balled-up form, letting out a deep sigh at the all too familiar situation. “We can’t keep doing this, y/n.”

He had said those exact words the night before, and the night before that too, but this time it feels different. This time you know he’s right.

“I know…” your croaky voice seems to be only tugging at your own heartstrings this time, only you feel sorry for yourself. Sorry for the sad, depressing joke of a human you had become after corrupting and molding yourself into nothing but a heart that beats for another, lungs that breathe for someone else, and a mind that slaves away only thinking about one person.

Heeseung kicks his shoes off, climbing into your sheets, body facing you, “this is the last time, okay?” his finger finds its way under your chin, tilting it upwards for you to face him. You look into his eyes, you see nothing. It’s empty, he has lost all feelings for you, even the feeling of pity that you were so desperately clinging onto, disgusted with the shell of a person you had become in the process. You had lost him, completely this time.

“‘Kay…” you sigh, the breath you let out a mixture of relief and sadness as you sink into his arms and feel your skin bleed into his own for the last time. For once, you don’t melt under his touch, for the little warmth he secretly held for you has now completely evaporated and instead replaced itself with the ice-cold wall he had put up between you two despite your bodies remaining pressed up against each other.

He kisses the crown of your head, leaving a light peck on your forehead right after. “Goodnight, y/n…”

You look up at him slightly, The lovey-dovey nicknames he once called you had completely left his vocabulary tonight, instead your name fell past his once-red lips that seemed to have turned blue under the low illuminance of your nightlight. You feel alone, even with the one you desire right in front of you. His arms wrapped around you hold no weight to them, only your blanket keeping your body warm. Yet you still hold on. You clutch onto him dearly, sobbing into his chest, your hands that had the hem of his t-shirt balled up into a fist now roam around his back as you pull yourself impossibly closer to him, your lips find their way towards Heeseung’s to capture them for the last time, desperately swiping your tongue against his lower lip for him to let you in and dance his tongue against yours, but he doesn’t.

And now you know, you understand, that you’re holding onto a pale, ghostly, blue corpse.

You pull away from him after you feel his almost bony fingers gently stroke your hair. He shushes you, pulling you closer to him and humming a soft melody that can only be described as the requiem of your love, with no one but you to adorn yourself with the color black, cry and pray for it, and watch its casket get buried six feet underground.

©tyunni please don't copy, translate or repost any of my work!

[stanfanfiction]

Taste of You - Ken x fem!reader - PART THREE

Edit: multiple parts have been uploaded and can be found on my pinned Masterlist on my profile :)

For anyone who might want to skip the panic attacks/trauma response bit of the story and just enjoy all the smut (which I absolutely understand and would absolutely lose my mind if someone unintentionally got triggered by my story), I have put 🫶s all along the top and the bottom of the section of the story. So it’s super easy to just skip that entire section and enjoy what you had originally come for :)

Warnings: 18+ / V1rgin Ken / slow burn / smut smut smut/ losing virginity / P! In v! / oral (m! Receiving) / fluff / angst / mental health/ panic attack / purse-snatching incident / hard day for the reader / caretaking Ken / shower play / trauma response / ball touching & sucking / size k!nkk / praise K!nk

You hopped in your classmate’s car, slamming the door shut, attempting you not look like you just ravaged by a living doll inside your house.

You classmate saw through your bullshit immediately. Zoey leaned her head back and laughed out loud, and you looked at her, knowing your ruse was up, and laughed, too.

“Is it that obvious?” You asked.

Zoey pulled down the passenger seat visor mirror and opened it for you. That’s when you saw how flushed you were AND the giant hickey forming where your neck and shoulder met. “OH FUCK.”

Zoey laughed again, putting her purse in your lap. “Glad you know you’re having a good time again,” she winked. “My concealer should be in one of my purse pockets.”

You found it and started dabbing it onto the bruise.

“So who’s the blonde?” Zoey asked, nodding towards your condo. You turned to look and saw Ken staring out the window, smiling, waving at you. Oh god.

You smiled and waved back. “Go, please, go now. He’ll come out and want to talk if you don’t.”

Zoey stepped on the gas and you watched Ken disappear in the side view mirror.

“Tell me about your new man,” Zoey coaxed.

“Later,” you giggled. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“Mmm, fiinnee,” Zoey exaggerated.

🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 (Beginning of trauma response section)

Class was easy but also torturous. You aced your exam and were out of the classroom within half an hour, and stopped for another coffee at the campus cafe on your way to your next class. You wanted to be back with Ken. You hated how fast he had turned your world upside down, especially dealing with the aftermath of a really scary relationship that you were still slowly working to heal from. You had been in the midst of a mental collapse when Ken showed up in your life. You now wondered how much of an unconscious decision inviting him into your home had been about possibly just not living alone so you felt a bit more safe.

You got through your next class decently easily, considering how boring the lectures were in this one, but kept spacing out for some reason today. Your memories with your ex kept ravaging your mind despite how hard you fought them, and it was difficult to focus on taking class notes. The professor called on you to answer a question and, despite feeling like you knew it, answered incorrectly, and that got into your head, making you feel even worse about, well, everything at the moment. You were so grateful when the professor announced everyone could leave and reminded when next week’s homework assignments were due.

Zoey texted that she had a family emergency and wasn’t able to drive you home as you left the classroom. You sent her your best and told her to let you know how you could help when she needed it. You decided to take the bus, which didn’t drop you off super close to your condo, but it was closer than walking from campus. The bus took ages, as there was a huge traffic jam on the road leading up to the bus stop. When you finally managed to get to the station near your house and got off, a masked man jumped out from around the corner of the building you were walking around with a knife and started ordering you to throw him your bag, approaching you swiftly. You screamed, whipping the heavy book bag into the criminal’s face as hard as you could before turning on your heel and sprinting away. The criminal was knocked down by how hard you had managed to hit him, and thankfully your scream alerted an couple other passerby’s and they started yelling at the guy, who stood as fast as he could and ran in the opposite direction. Once you knew he was definitely out of sight, you slowed your pace a little, finally at the last crosswalk that separated you from your home.

It had rained while you were in class, and as you were able to cross the street, a car zoomed by way over the speed limit and you got doused with a muddy puddle. You stared ahead in disbelief, but grit you teeth and began to walk home a little faster. You hadn’t had a panic attack in awhile, and didn’t want to involve Ken in any of the shit you were suddenly battling again in your head, AND after having just a kinda stupid day. You calmed your breathing as you approached your home, wanting to just shower in peace and hopefully calm down and not worry about anything the rest of the day.

You entered your condo dirty and exhausted. Ken was in the doorway, grinning, like he had been standing there all day. You looked up through wet eyelashes at him to see his demeanor change instantly, walking towards you.

“What happened?” He was so concerned. His hands danced around, trying to figure out what to do, reaching for your book bag then retreating his hand.

“I just….hmmm,” you worked hard to keep your composure. You didn’t want to break down in front of him. “I just need to shower, and, uh, then we can….whatever…”

He heard the defeat in your voice, and he looked so concerned. “How do I help?”

You smiled a little. “There’s nothing you can do, Ken. Just one of those days.” You patted his arm. “I’ll be fine, just need a bit.”

“Oh, okay,” Ken paused, glancing towards the bedroom. “Uh, so, I need you to close your eyes when walking to the bathroom.”

You eyed him. “Why, Ken?”

He seemed distressed. “You’ll see, but later. Can I cover your eyes?”

You were too tired to play games, even though he was being sincere. “I’ll just close my eyes, you can guide me to the bathroom.”

Ken nodded, looking determined. You closed your eyes, offering him your wet hand, and he slowly helped you get into the bathroom, closing the door behind the two of you.

“I can open my eyes now?”

“Yes.”

He stared at you, sad, looking helpless.

“Can I help you get these off?” He reached for your wet clothes.

You gently stopped his hand. “I’m good, Ken. Thank you. I just need a moment alone.”

He looked a little crushed, but nodded, still learning how to navigate this new emotion coming from you.

“Okay, y/n. I’m, uh, I’ll be just outside the door if you need anything.”

“Thank you, Ken.”

You peeled off your wet clothes we he closed the door, shivering from feeling so cold. You turned the shower on to hot, leaning your hands onto the sink counter as you breathed intentionally, still trying not to cry. You needed to cry but felt scared too, but for whatever reason you weren’t sure why. You walked into the hot shower, focusing on enjoying its warmth and began to lather the dirty off of yourself, shampooing your hair, staring towards the floor the whole time.

When you were finally clean, you leaned your head into the wall, slowly allowing yourself to finally leak some tears. Your head spun, and then the sobs came quick and hard. You sank down onto the tile floor, your body heaving, and your wrapped your arms around your legs, hugging yourself as you experienced your release.

You heard the shower door open. Ken stood there, naked, and walked into the shower with you, closing the door. You stared up at him with bloodshot eyes, trembling lips, the shower water falling over your figure. You could see him racking his brain on what to do.

He sat down beside you, the side of frame gently touching your own, as the shower wasn’t big enough to allow you enough space to not be in bodily contact. He copied your stance of hugging your legs, and looked down at the floor.

“I’m not sure what is wrong, but I didn’t want you to be alone.” His voice echoed softly in the tiled room.

You felt safe. It was sudden, it was amazing, and it made your heart ache even more somehow. Shame racked your entire being and you began to sob again, Ken sitting quietly next to you, and his silent company somehow made it easier to experience your pain.

He allowed you as much time as you needed, and when you began to calm down a little, exhausted more than ever, you covered your face with your hands, mortified. You felt Ken’s hand gently touch your forearm.

“What’s wrong?” He asked so tenderly it made you want to cry again.

You shook your head. “I…can’t…”

He waited patiently for you to finish.

“I’m sorry, I can’t talk about it right now,” you said between shaky breaths.

Ken nodded. “That’s okay.” He paused, before asking, “I just want to make sure it’s not something I did to you.”

You looked up at him now, his beautiful face gazing down at yours. You shook your head. “No, Ken. You have only been wonderful to me.”

His anxiety relaxed, and he nodded again. “Whatever it is, I will keep you safe.”

You had no idea why he said that, but maybe somehow his intuition was way more evolved than you realized. A few more tears ran down your face. “Thank you, Ken.”

“I want to help.”

“You are helping.” You sniffed and leaned your head on his shoulder, allowing his calming presence to relax you a little.

🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 🫶 (End of trauma response section)

Ken looked over and saw the bruise he had left on your shoulder area earlier that day. He looked alarmed. “Who did this to you?”

You laughed now, and he startled at that. “You did. When you suck too hard sometimes, you can bruise my skin. We call them hickeys.”

Ken stared. “I…didn’t mean -“

“I know,” you wrapped your arms around his. “It doesn’t hurt, I just have to cover it up when I’m out. Well, I guess I choose to cover it up.”

“Why?”

“It’s kind of an indication that I’m having sex with someone.”

Ken looked confused. “Is that a bad? That people would know?”

You paused, thinking. “I suppose not? It’s just not something a lot of people want others to randomly know, I guess. Hickeys can also be seen as marks of ownership.”

“Ownership?”

“Yeah, like a kink thing. Kind of a, I’ll leave a hickey on you because I want others to know you’re mine.”

Ken’s wheels were spinning. “Kink thing…”

“I’ll explain kinks later, if that’s alright.” You put your chin on his shoulder now, looking up at him.

“Uhh, so, people will see your hickey and assume you are,” he lowered his voice, “mine?”

“Well, not specifically ‘yours,’ as they don’t know who you are, but it could be seen as an indication that someone marks me as a means of calling me their own.”

“Ah.” Ken was working hard to appear nonchalant, but you definitely noticed him processing that information.

Your exhausted state of mind was causing your body to slowly come down from the day, and being this close to Ken, feeling he sensitive he was to wanting to understand you and the world around him was such an easy turn-on. You reached a hand over and placed it on his chest. His pecs swelled when he in-took a sharp breath at your touch.

“You’re so kind to me. Can I return the favor?” You traced your finger down his sternum. A small moan grew from the back of his throat

“You’re sure?” He asked, although suddenly struggling to keep his composure. You LOVED how easily he was turned on by you.

“Mmmhmm. Want to make you feel good.”

“What would you like me to do?”

“What would you like *me* to do?” You repeated back to him, your hand now reaching for his cock, which was already hardening.

“I…don’t…if you are tired -“

“I’m not too tired for you.” You kneeled, turning his face in your hands. “Let me take care of you, my sweet boy.”

That did it. In one swift movement, Ken stood up, bringing you up with him into a standing position. He pressed you into the shower wall, the slight sting of the cold tile awakening all of your senses.

“Gonna make you wet for me,” he said, hooking one of your legs around his waist and holding it there as his now fully hardened cock began rubbing in-between your folds. You moaned loudly at the sparks that exploded in your abdomen.

He reached around with his other hand to grab your butt and you giggled a little when you realized this was his first time really touching you there. He discovered that he could maneuver your hips to move in rhythm with his own this way, and he moaned in awe as he watching your two bodies move together.

His breathing was becoming louder now.

“What do you want, Ken?”

“Just want you,” he shuddered, rubbing into you harder now. You moaned loudly at the way his cock was beautifully massaging your clit. “Just so desperate for you.”

You put your hands on his chest. “Why don’t we take this to bed?” You asked, wanting to be able to pleasure him while he relaxed.

Ken shook his head at first. “Need you now,” he said, hips beginning to buck a little faster, then he slowed his pace, remembering something. “Ohhh, oh yeah. Yes.” He stopped his movement. “Okay, yeah we should go to the bed.”

You cocked your head trying to figure out his change of mind when you recalled he had asked you to close your eyes on the way to the bathroom.

Ken turned off the shower water and stepped out, wrapping you in a towel first so you would stay warm. He hurriedly dried himself off and then tried to help you, which made you laugh, as he only got in the way, but your laugh made him smile, and that felt good to see.

“Okay,” he said, reaching for your hand but then pulling back.

“What’s with the sudden shyness?” You asked.

“Just want you to be happy.”

“I’ll be happy. Can I see now?”

He nodded, then reached back for your hand, which you accepted. He opened the bathroom door and you stepped into the bedroom, and your heart melted.

Ken had put candles on the bedside tables, different colors, all lit, and the bed was covered in fresh rose petals. You looked at him.

“You did this?”

He grinned, pleased to see you liked it. “Yeah. I found this app thing called Pin Interest and uh, looked up things girls like, and I found a picture of something like this. I didn’t know what color you liked best so I got all the colors I could find,” he said, indicating the candles.

You giggled, wanting to correct him that the app was called “Pintrest,” but decided it didn’t really matter. “You went and got all this?”

“Yeah, I took the cash you left for me and went shopping. Although,” he looked confused again, “three different people gave me their phone numbers on the way there and back. I’m not sure what to do with them? Am I supposed to call them about something?”

“Forget the numbers, Ken.” You laughed, and pulled him towards the bed. “Okay, lay down.”

Ken shook his head, and picked you up bridal style. He got onto the bed and placed you in front of him so your back was pressed against his chest and torso, and he reached for a cup on the bedside table.

“You always make this when you seem stressed after class, so I made you some when you got into the shower.” He handed you a cup of your favorite hot tea with a sliver of lemon, just the way you always made it. Had he paid this close attention to you?

You felt like crying again. No one had ever thought about caring for you this way. He wrapped his arms around your waist contentedly as you took a sip.

“It’s perfect, Ken.” You smiled up at him, eyes teary. “*You’re* perfect.”

He looked so happy at you, and reached forward towards your cup. “I just want you to feel loved.” He felt like a wall behind you, secure as you leaned fully back into him, and he rested his chin softly onto your hickey.

“I do,” you wanted to say, but something in you chocked the words down. Instead, you turned to kiss him, and he kissed you back. His kisses were so wonderfully warm and soft. When you two pulled apart, he reached a hand near your cup.

“May I?” He asked.

You didn’t know what he was asking to do but you nodded anyway, and he dipped two fingers into the tea, stirring them around in it for a moment before bringing them up to your lips. Ahhhh, he discovered he really liked his fingers in your mouth. You took them between your lips and sucked on them while Ken watched as his pupils dilated. You licked them for a moment before letting them free, and he looked like he was in a daze.

“Remember how my mouth felt on your cock?’

He nodded, silent.

“Would you like me to do that again?”

“I do. Been thinking about it all day.”

“You’re so patient, you deserve to be rewarded.”

Ken made a soft sound at that, and you decided you’d have to keep praising him the rest of the night, he was so hot when he reacted to it.

You reached over to set your tea down, Ken loosening his grip on you just enough to do so, then tightening it again. You pushed at his arms.

“I need to get up so I can pleasure you,” you purred.

“MMhmm. In a little while.”

You gasped when he hooked his legs underneath yours, ankles wrapping around yours, and opening your legs for him.

“Ken, it’s your turn, remember?”

“Gotta make you wet first,” Ken his fingers back into your mouth, and you knew this was already becoming addictive to him.

“Ken, I promise you, I’m plenty wet,” you said when he pulled his fingers out a moment later.

Ken shook his head. “Don’t want to hurt you,” and with your saliva on his fingers, he began running his fingers up and down your vulva, from opening to clit.

Your head fell back onto his shoulder, and if your eyes had been open you would have seen him gazing adoringly at you. His fingers teased your entrance, dipping in only the tiniest bit before circling it and then going back up to rub on your clit.

“Ken, please,” you begged, your legs shaking a little. “Please let me just pleasure you. I need to. I need to right now.”

“Later.” He pushed two fingers inside of you, curling them right as he entered, and immediately hit your g-spot, causing you to cry out.

“Ken, Ken, Ken…” his name on your lips like a prayer. He was hypnotized by you. You squeezed hard around his fingers as he sped up the pace, holding you in place with his legs. Fucking hell if he wasn’t a virgin you would force him down, ride his face until you collapsed, and then make him fuck you until you lost control over all rhyme and reason.

“Fuck you until you lose what?”

His voice startled you but you couldn’t be bothered to full re-enter reality with the way he was touching you. “What?”

“You were mumbling.”

Oh fuck you couldn’t even trust your thoughts to yourself. You needed to gain back control which would take great difficulty as he swirled his fingers inside you, deeper, feeling every crevice he could find.

“Need you to stop,” you gasped. “Please.”

“Why?” He asked, slowing his pace the tiniest bit.

“Because I want to orgasm on your cock.”

He stopped then and you opened your eyes, watching him contemplate how that would feel.

“The way you squeeze and spasm around my fingers…”

“Yes,” you reached behind you and gripped his throbbing member in your hand, “but around here instead.”

He finally decided to listen and slowly removed his fingers from you. You decided to make him happy and sucked your juices from his fingers, and he shuddered again watching his digits disappear into your mouth. You released them, then looked up at him firmly.

“Now lay back like a good Ken.”

His eyes glazed over a little and he immediately complied, laying down, the rose petals on the bed moving around the two of you as you straddled his hips.

“What would you like first, sweet Ken?”

“Anything you’ll do to me,” he choked out as you rubbed your wet vulva over his cock and ran your fingers down his lower abs, those fucking perfect muscles flexing in time with his spasms.

“Good Ken.” You leaned down and, continuing your slow rubbing on his cock, kissed from his lips, down his neck, to his chest which was heaving with heavy breaths. You smirked at him as the tip of your tongue traced one of his nipples. He grabbed your hips and bucked into you, and you smiled now as you began licking and gently biting him there.

“Ohh! I can’t..fuck, y/n, what….this feels so…” he groaned when you left his nipple for a moment to suck hard on the area of his peck above it, using teeth and staring up at him as he watched you mark him. When you pulled back, the small bruise was already beginning to form, and his eyes shone at you. You realized then maybe marking him for fun might not have been the *best* idea, since he had reacted the strongest to the idea that a hickey represented someone claiming someone else….but you decided you’d figure that out later.

You continued down his abs, licking up and down and he gripped your hair tightly when you reached down to hold his balls.

“Y/N!” He cried, his entire body shaking a little.

“You’re doing so good, Ken. Taking everything I’m giving you so well. You’re handling it all so, so well.”

He regained a little confidence at that but lost everything again when you took his member into your mouth, sucking hard at the tip before lowering your mouth as far to his base as you could. He trembled and made the most wonderful noises you had ever heard, your free hand firmly gripping his base and moving in time with your mouth.

“It’s…..ahhhh! It’s too much,” he gasped shakily, and you paused softly, removing your mouth from him, and climbing back up onto his hips.

“Are you okay, sweet boy? Is it hurting you?”

He stared up at you, and he looked so innocent, so overwhelmed. “I’m trying,” he promised.

“You don’t have to try. This is supposed to feel good.”

“It *does* feel good.” It seemed he wasn’t gaining back any control of his body despite the break from you pleasuring him, and he began to tremble. You took his lips in yours, intentionally moaning into his mouth, and he kissed you back so hard, with so much love, you swear you felt it full your entire being.

“I don’t want to disappoint you,” he whispered, face flushed.

“Why on earth would you disappoint me?” You asked, brushing back a hair from his forehead. He looked so emotional, and then you understood. You had been intimidated and felt oddly shameful and sad your first time, too. You just hadn’t thought that a man could feel the same way, at least it hadn’t crossed your mind until now.

“Everything you are feeling,” you said softly, Ken hanging on your every word, “is normal. But there’s no reason to feel bad about any of this. You’re safe. All of you, all of this, it’s beautiful. It’s special.”

He stared at you, so much trust in his eyes.

“Would you like me to keep going? Or should we stop for awhile?”

He shook his head, running his fingers up and down your back, giving you such a lovely shiver.

“I want everything. I want you.”

“Are you sure?”

He nodded, small, but certain. “Please.”

You smiled at him. You promised yourself you’d be gentle, and you would. You wanted to make this beyond amazing for him. You held his cock, huge in your hand, and thought for a second about how maybe you should have let him finger you a bit longer to stretch you open, but you would definitely make do. You lined him up underneath you, and placed his hands on your hips.

“I know it’s your first time, but I’m going to ruin you for anyone else,” you stated. Ken had no idea what you were talking about but assumed since you were the one saying it that he would love it.

His eyes grew wide as you achingly slowly lowered yourself onto his tip, and his hands gripped your hips so tightly you knew you’d have fresh bruises when this was over. That made you feel so turned on that you lowered yourself further, keeping your eyes on Ken, making sure he was alright with everything as it was happening. He cried out when you fully bottomed out onto his cock, and you moaned loudly as how long and thick he was. You definitely *were* in pain, but FUCK if it wasn’t so incredible and you were soaking up every moment of it.

“You okay, my sweet boy? Are you taking all of this like a good Ken?” You lifted yourself back up, almost letting him fully out of you before lowering yourself back down, having you balance yourself with your hands on his chest because he was causing you so much pleasure but still adjusting to his size. Ken’s head rolled back into the pillows, shuddering, hips twitching underneath you.

You were going to fuck him out of his mind. You began moving a little faster and he spit out the most incredible noises and half-coherent words.

“You are so….ah…bea - I ohhh….tight…you’re so TIGHT…I’m…so good…y/n…it’s, ahh, please, please…”

Your hips moved faster once you were physically able to stand his size, and you panted, focusing on keeping a steady pace as his whole body writhed underneath you.

“Mmmm, you fuck me so well,” you gasped, and he opened his eyes - those gorgeous, blue, being fucked-out-of-his-mind eyes - and looked so proud and happy that he was able to make you feel this good. The fact that he was still so focused on your pleasure when he was literally experiencing intercourse for the first time made you even hotter, and you began bouncing up and down on his cock.

He yelled out in surprise, hands shaking, and you removed them from your hips to your breasts, which he took between his strong fingers and squeezed, your head falling back and you letting out breathy moans.

Ken started getting close to his climax and you could tell, he was becoming even less coherent, and his hands moved around on you, trying to find somewhere to grip but not knowing where to land. You realized he looked a little scared. You leaned forward but didn’t stop your pace while you fucked him.

“Are you okay, my Ken?”

He didn’t answer, just took both of your wrists in his hands. You slowed your pace now, and placed both of your hands on his face. As always, he relaxed a little, his face brightening, and he leaned his cheek into one of your palms.

“Can you help me finish you like this?” He closed his eyes, taking in your scent as your hair fell a little into his face, but he nodded. “Can you put your feet on the bed, bend your knees?”

He complied, and now his cock was buried *deeep* inside of you, both of you moaning loudly in unison.

You kept your hands on his face. “Are you ready, sweet Ken? My good Ken?”

He opened his eyes, completely lost in you.

“Yes, please,” he whispered. You began riding him again and shuddered so hard he had to grip your hips to balance you. He was so fucking deep from this angle you swore he might hit your cervix.

“I’ve got you,” you soothed as you regained some composure and got back into a steady pace. Ken was panting now, every muscle tensed and fucking fuck he was so goddamn strong and chiseled and flawless. He almost yelped when you took a hand back to reach down and press into a spot directly above his cock. You had learned this from a sex magazine ages ago, about how men had a special little “g spot” too to a degree in their groin area there, but had never tried it. Apparently the magazine was telling the truth because Ken seemed to lose all control after that.

He bucked up into you, hard, and you screamed in a mix of pleasure and pain, chanting his name over and over again as you swore your voice would become hoarse from how loud you were having to be to release some of this internal pressure. You felt surrounded by him - his body, his energy, the smell of the rose petals around the two of you mixing with his scent. You were in heaven.

You squeezed your eyes shut as your orgasm hit hard, washing over and over and over again, and if you had been looking you would have seen Ken smiling up at you right before he lost all control himself - feeling you squeeze and spasm around him, hearing you yelling his name over and over again, watching you experience intense pleasure because of him, while on top of him, with him inside you. You were beautiful, so beautiful. He fucked into you fast and hard, chasing his orgasm that exploded his entire being into fireworks, his vision seeing stars as he lost any idea of how he was moving or what was happening around him, only that he felt SO so amazing, and that you were there with him. He sobbed your name as he rode out his pleasure, his body going limp the moment he was through.

You both worked to catch your breath, eyes focusing on each other, and you smiled, exhausted, down at him. He smiled back, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. You were so thankful he didn’t seem scared or embarrassed by it, because you knew that it meant he felt safe.

He whines, visibly unhappy, when you pulled yourself off of him. You laid down next to him on your side, facing him, your body spent. He turned on his side, too, and hooked your leg around his waist, then wrapped his arm around your torso, holding you close. He thrust back up into you completely . You yelped, grasping his strong arm in shock.

“Wanna stay here,” he mumbles, trying to look dominant but his expression being obvious that he was hoping you wouldn’t make him leave. To prove his point, he pushed himself impossibly deeper into you ever so softly, but now it was your turn to see stars, and you felt like you would cry now.

“Please, Ken,” you begged. “I’m really tender right now.”

“I know,” he said, barely moving his hips but still stroking his still rock-hard cock in and out. Goosebumps covered your flesh.

“How are you still able to do this??” Tears actually begun forming now. Your body was telling you it couldn’t take any more but somehow it was, and you couldn’t seem to manage to make yourself push him away no matter how loud you yelled at your body to do so.

“Am I not supposed to be able to do this?” He asked genuinely.

“Most men can’t…ahhhhh…” you faltered, your head falling into his chest as his cock rubbed every inch of the top of your opening, your g-spot getting perfectly stimulated with the rest of your muscle tightening around him.

“Most men can’t what?”

“Do this again so soon,” you choked.

“Mmmmm.” He acknowledged his understanding, then placed a kiss on your forehead. “But I’m not most men.”

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[sugarikiz]

ɪ ᴀɪɴ’ᴛ (ᴀᴍ)ᴡᴏʀʀɪᴇᴅ ʙᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ

in which you find yourself not wanting to bother riki with the fact that you’re really stressed out about your upcoming finals but he figures out how bad your anxiety is once he finds you on your desk, silently crying with your head in your textbook the day before the first exam…

[Contains Comfort and established relationships, pda as well]

WARNING mention of toxic relationships and mean exes

• release date ~ 24/04/2024 in my country

• FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF FLUFFFFFFFFF

• idol bf!riki x reader

• oneshot

• now playing : I ain’t worried, by OneRepublic

•! reblogs, likes and comments are really appreciated! they make me happy <333

tags: @mandukkul @copyhanni @nikiswifereal27 @stariikis @ad0rechuu @copyhanni @jungkit @rk1stars @rikihqq @wonryllis

ENJOY READING THIS AND PLS LIKE REBLOG AND COMMENT!

NOT PROOF READ PLS DONT MIND ANY SPELLING MISTAKES!!!

You repeatedly tell Riki that you’re okay and that you’re not stressed about your finals but deep inside, you knew you were lying….

It hurt you each time that you had to lie because you knew that if he found out that you were lying, he would get really worried as to why you lied to him. So, you put on as real of a brave face as you could when inside, you felt like sobbing into rikis shirt while he gently holds you, silently comforting you with just his presence, but because of his packed schedule he has as an idol, you didn’t feel like troubling him with such a small problem, little did you know that holding your stress in would lead to you sobbing into your textbook on your desk.

You had never felt so much anxiety before an exam since you were a straight A student your whole life, and had never gotten a grade below a B and that B was only because you caught a viral fever and were barely able to write your test.

You hadn’t gone out of your room all day, let alone eaten something and because today was one of Riki’s few off days, he was at home, but because your door was locked, he tried all ways to get to you without opening you door and invading your study time… calling out to you, messaging you, calling you on the phone, knocking, but no response. He knew you were studying for your exams but he knows that you don’t normally skip meals, especially during finals.

He decides to knock again. He gently calls out your name while knocking on your locked door, only to be met with soft sobbing on the other end of the door. He, as a last resort, grabs the key to your door and slots it into the keyhole. The sight he was met with was a very heartbreaking one. You were sobbing into your science textbook, hugging your knees, your hair covering your entire face. You were still in your pajamas and were looking very pale.

You only noticed he was in the room when he gently collected your hair in his hands and tied your hair into a ponytail with a scrunchie that was on your still unmade bed. You look up at him with bloodshot eyes, which looked like you’d been crying for hours. He pulls you into a soft embrace, so gently, that one would believe that you were made of glass. You cry into his shirt, tears staining it but he couldn’t care less. All he cared about was you.

He pulls out of the hug, and looks at you so lovingly, his own eyes glossy due to the fact that you were crying. “Why didn’t you tell me, y/nnie, I could’ve helped…” he softly says. “Ki, I knew how busy you were and, well, I haven’t told you about this yet, but the reason I was so distant when we first got together was because my ex, he was so toxic and would shout at me if I went to him with my worries, he would get so mad and argue with me so much that by the time I left him, I was scared that all men were like that… but then I met you, and I lost that fear, but I still have a problem telling people about my feelings….” You reply softly towards the end, more tears welling up in your eyes. as if the look in his eyes couldn’t get gentler, they got more glossy as he pulled you into his embrace once more…

“Oh, yn, I didn’t know you went through all that on your own.. But next time, please tell me what’s bothering you and there’s no need to lie at all, I’m always going to be there to help you and listen, okay?” He says into the crook of your neck. “Thank you”, was all you could muster after the hours of crying. He pulls away a bit after a while, and then gently gives you a kiss on your lips, closing the gap on between your lips and his. He lifts his lips away from yours and laces your fingers into his, pulls you up and mumbles something about making instant ramen, which you genuinely needed, because, as mentioned earlier, you hadn’t eaten all day.

As you slurped your ramen up in record speed, Riki watched in adoration… how could you look so pretty even after crying?

You finished your bowl of ramen,and attempted to get up to put your bowl into the sink, but were pulled back into your seat by Riki, who insisted that he puts your bowl in the sink. You gave in, knowing that he was not going to let you go, and sit back down.

You were lucky to have a boyfriend like Riki and you would always be okay, as long as he was there with you…

END!

@ms-no1kpopstan’s not yours. Please do not translate, steal, plagiarise, or repost without my permission… pls send an ask if so, and it must have my credits if so.

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG translation] Joker Out singer opens up about kissing on set and other details of the new film

Interview with Bojan Cvjetićanin and Katja Predan. Original article was written by Sonja Javornik for Novice Svet24, published on 6.1.2024. English translation by @varianestoroff, proof read by TWT klámstrákur.

The new Slovenian film 'Kaj pa Ester?' is targeted primarily at teenage audiences, but Tosja Flaker Bercet's fun, relaxed film will also appeal to older audiences. And it looks like the film will be a hit not only in Slovenia, but also abroad, as fans of Joker Out from all over Europe are waiting for the film to come to their cinemas - the male protagonist is played by the much-loved Bojan Cvjetićanin.

Bojan Cvjetićanin and Katja Predan are the leading actors of the new teen movie 'Kaj pa Ester?' (Photo by Šimen Zupančič)

In 2021, after a long search for the main character, the director invited Bojan Cvjetićanin, the lead singer of a band that was on the verge of success at the time, to audition. Today, Bojan would not have had time to record due to concerts in Europe and other projects (their new album and concert film 'Live From Arena Stožice' is available on www.jokeroutband.com), but back then, it was not a problem for him, so we can admire him in the film alongside the excellent Katja Predan and other young co-stars.

The film is about Ester, who is not pleased when she discovers that her ex-boyfriend, who wants to rebuild their romance, has enrolled at the same high school. Kaj (played by Bojan) tries to show his love for her with romantic gestures, but his moves impress his classmates more than Ester. Ester finds herself in a difficult situation, as her classmates are mean to her because they think she should give Kaj a second chance, but instead she agrees with a friend to act like a lesbian couple... The Ljubljana premiere of the film took place at Cinemaplexx and the whole crew came to see it. Before that, we had the exclusive opportunity to talk to the two main actors. Bojan was five minutes late, but given his frenetic schedule and mild cold, we didn't blame him. Over tea, he and Katja were happy to look back on the filming and joked around, jumping into each other and generally getting on well.

Katja, you are 24 years old and finishing your third year of film directing studies at AGRFT¹.

I'm still one exam away...

So you prefer to be behind the camera than in front of it?

Actually, it was good in front of the camera too. (smiles)

How did you get this role?

That's a good story! I was waiting for a friend who was half an hour late for a drink. But I was sitting at another table, with a friend from high school, when Tosja joined us. He introduced himself, and I told him I knew him. He told me they needed another actress because they were filming something and offered me to come and try it out. I wasn't interested at first, but then I thought that it must be a short film and it wasn't that big of a commitment. When I arrived, I found out that I was auditioning for the main role!

Do you have previous acting experience?

I was in a theatre group, I acted in a play, and then I started directing. That was in the first year of high school. In college I acted in our rehearsals when we were filming, but now I hope to get another chance.

In the interview, Bojan and Katja also revealed - he had his first crush in kindergarten, she had her first boyfriend in high school. (Photo by Šimen Zupančič)

What kind of projects do you want to do as a director?

The ones where people talk a lot (laughs). I'm interested in love themes and situations where nothing special happens and the relationship gets boring.

What was it like working with Bojan?

We've worked together very little because we split up in the film, so we're not a couple anymore. We had two rehearsals together and they were very nice. But we did hang out a little bit.

Can we even project ourselves into the film? The plot itself is absurd, because you want to break up with Bojan - the Bojan who is currently the idol of young girls in this country and in Europe!

Tosja, please write what happened before that! (laughs) Surely Ester had a good reason to leave him.

Have you been dumped by a girlfriend in real life?

Bojan: Absolutely! I wouldn't say I was dumped because I didn't have many girlfriends. But I have been rejected...

So could this happen to you?

Yes, especially when I was as old as Kaj.

How did you land in the film as an actor?

I've always been interested in playing, but due to time constraints, I can't commit to it much, even if I wanted to. When I was invited to audition, I had a free summer. I'm a fan of the series 'V dvoje', one of the writers of is our director Tosja, and the creator was Luka Marčetič, who then also worked on the film, and there are a few other crew members as well. It was an honour to be able to work with them because they created my favourite series.

They don't hide that it was a lot of fun on the set: "We had as much fun as we could. It was relaxing." Photo by Šimon Zupančič

In the film, you are exactly as you were in real life - they haven't even changed your hairstyle. How so?

I have a lot of contracts that say I can't change it. (laughs) No, it's a joke! Tosja was pleased with my appearance. The film is interesting because the 15-year-olds are played by 20-year-olds and older.

How much time do you have now that you are a European music star?

To be honest, very little. Three days ago I returned from the last tour of the year. I have a cold, of course, so it would be very convenient if I had a couple of days to lie down, but I have the whole premiere day today and tomorrow, a concert on Saturday, and on Sunday we go back to the studio for a week. Then we've got a few more gigs, then we're moving to London for two months, and then we've got a one-month tour. Then we'll probably go to Germany for a month to record the album, and then we'll have another tour soon...

We won't see you much.

Exactly, because there's too much of me everywhere now. (smiles)

How was it on set?

Bojan: It was great for me because I knew the whole team from before.

How did you and Ester* meet? (*T/N: They probably meant Katja)

Bojan: Through mutual friends, maybe even through Mila...

Katja: Haven't we known each other since primary school? Or from the audition for Vičstock?

Bojan: Yes, indeed! Katja was one of the organisers of Vičstock at Vič high school, and I was in one of the bands that wanted to play at the festival. And we did play at Vičstock. We actually know each other from ninth grade - like our characters in the film.

The stars of the new Slovenian teen movie shared with us some interesting facts from the filming of it. (Photo by Šimen Zupančič)

What are you willing to do for love, Bojan? Because your character is very committed in the film to get Ester back.

I have a little wish to find love again, for which I would be willing to do such a big thing. It seems to me that I have not felt that since primary school or the beginning of high school.

Was your first love fatal? Like Kaj's?

Katja: Yes!

Bojan: In my opinion, yes.

And how did your first love end?

Bojan: Ask me if I have a girlfriend.

Do you have one?

Bojan: No. (laughs) I told you that I have been rejected in the past. But I had my first love in kindergarten.

Katja: I remember my first boyfriend from high school. We, of course, had to hide our relationship from everyone, in case we broke up afterwards and embarrassed ourselves. That way nobody knew we were in love and nobody asked anything when it was over.

Have you ever hidden your love?

Bojan: No, I'm like an open book.

Did you have fun during the filming or were you focused the whole time?

Bojan: We had as much fun as we could. It was relaxing.

Katja: I just remember that Diana and I used to rehearse scenes and kiss all the time, thinking that that would keep us in the role...

Film director Tosja Flaker Berce with the cast of 'Kaj pa Ester?': Katja Predan, Bojan Cvjetićanin, Mila Peršin, Suzana Krevh, Veronika Železnik, and Diana Kolenc. (Photo by Mediaspeed)

Have you also been kissing a lot?

Bojan: All the time, but only when the camera was on (laughs).

What did you think of the script?

Katja: For me, the biggest question was why they went their separate ways in the first place, but looking back, I understand Ester more and more.

Bojan: (playing offended) What are you trying to say?

Katja: (laughs) Yeah, he was probably too fixated on her.

What are the differences between you and your characters?

Bojan: The biggest difference is that as a young boy, I was not a loner like Kaj over the years. Kaj wanted to spend time with Ester more than anything, and I see the key problem with their relationship as the fact that it started to suffocate Ester. Ester, in my opinion, wanted to get away from this one-to-one, one-person, all-day contact. Of course, we're young in the film and you have doubts about your first real romantic relationship, but it started to suffocate Ester...

Katja: ...that there is nothing else.

Bojan: Anyway - Ester is not cool, neither is Kaj. She sits at home and plays 'Krofki'² ('Doughnuts').

What do you do in your free time now?

Katja: I like to read and I'm quite similar to Ester in terms of my nerdiness.

Bojan: I like reading too. If I have time during the day to do something, I like to relax as actively as possible, ride a horse or go-kart, fish... In short, something to get the energy out of me. I'm not good at fishing at all, but it calms me down a lot.

Do you like being so busy, travelling so much?

I wouldn't say I have a big problem with the workload. But it is very tiring to travel a lot. Some of the tours have been designed so that we travel by tour bus, which means that I can sleep in a bed in the bus all night between locations and at least be rested the next day.

But is it good quality sleep?

For me, it is the best in the world and I am thinking about how to recreate this rocking coffin at home. Very small and tight, but the best. But if the connections on the tour are by plane, like we had now, for example, when we flew ten times in seven days, it means you only get about four hours sleep a day. And that exhausts you.

What about packing each time?

I've already got it all worked out! Now I don't even take things out of suitcases, I take the shirt from the top and put the dirty things in a bag somewhere at the bottom. I have two big suitcases at home to change.

¹The Academy of Theatre, Radio, Film and Television (Akademija za Gledališče, Radio, Film in Televizijo) is the only higher education institution in Slovenia that trains at university level for professions in theatre, film, radio and television.

²The game 'Krofki' is a made up videogame, played by characters in the movie.

[starillusion13]

My Muse

Pairing: Hongjoong x f!reader

Genre: Friends to lovers, fluff, College Au

Warnings: orphan (nothing else).

W.C: 3k

Note: Thanks to the people loving my works and supporting them. I love to read your reviews in my dms so feel free to dm me. Thanks for joining the event.

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Request from @lunehong

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere

💟

*under the cut*

The university classes are meant to be fun and boring consecutively.  Well, how you are experiencing them is depending on the memories you are building for you to remember. The morning classes are always being cursed by you and your friends because of your lazy asses not wanting to leave the bed. The afternoon classes are always tiring to you as you keep telling your friends every five seconds that how hungry you are and might die of this pathetic hunger. The over-dramatic self of yours.

Aside from all these usual aspects of life. There is something else tingling in your life or maybe a someone. University campus is really a vast area with different faces, some you remember and some you don’t. There is one face which always catch your eye is the campus heartthrob, KIM HONGJOONG.

He is the topper of your university and also well known for his charming and intelligence in many other fields like his designs are showcased in fashion department, he has his own composing team for the art and music department and so on. He is the icon for an all-rounder student of this national university. Apparently for being so talented, he is known as the perfect walking man who has come out of every girl’s dream. A perfect man with a pointy nose, flawless attractive features with black brown mullets walks around the campus just like every girl’s dream man has come to reality. Well, you also belong to these girls but maybe a bit more than them.

He is your best-friend.

“Hey! Y/N.” Your cause of suffering has finally arrived while you were just trying to pass through the crowds for next class and avoiding every chance to meet him.

You halted in your path to turn around and face him. You give your brightest smile to him just to get an excited and bright look from him. Those smiling eyes and that smile is the reason for your suffering. He is your best friend since high school and you both were inseparable since then even some people have claimed sometimes you to be a couple which you both waved off by laughing loudly at them or showing them your true friendship and annoying friends both of you can be when together.

This was all fine until the incident happened in the mall last year. You were supposed to go on a date with your boyfriend that day but later that evening you found out the ugliest truth about him cheating on you so you called your first go-to escape, your best-friend Hongjoong to cry your heart out. He without wasting any second time, arrived to your house when he stayed with you whole night just to comfort you and hear about your rantings on everything possible. Next day, he insulted your ex and exposed him in front of the whole campus and that’s when your perspective towards him changed. The friendship between you both started to have some tension of falling it apart. Well, this is only from your side because he still sees you as his best partner for every situation to go through and a perfect best friend.

“Hi, Joong. What are you doing here in this sector of the building now? You probably have the music production meeting with the professors.”

“Ah yes, I still have and will go after meeting you. I came here to ask you whether you are free today after classes or not.”

Hongjoong asking you whether you are free after classes? Oh! He is your best friend so you should not think so afar. It’s just regarding your upcoming exams. Right? He just wants to take all the due notes on the classes he had missed.

“I don’t think anything important is there rather than going home to eat and take a nap.” You both laughed at your reply.

Hongjoong seems to scan his surrounding as if to catch any intruder who is trying to interfere in your little moments. He turned his attention back to you.

“So do you want to hang out with me later in the nearby market or to any place you like. We don’t get much time for us and it’s been so long we have shared our life updates with each other. I miss you.” He tried to give you his puppy eyes and pouty look which you found so cringey that you hit his arm laughing. Other girls would have got heart attacks if he ever done this to them.

“Stop it joong. This does not suite you. You are the dreamy boy of every girl in this campus so you need to maintain your high profile and an attractive image.”

No Joong, please don’t change. I always want you the way you have ever treated me, the way you have only showed me your particular phases that no one has ever seen and will get to see. You can call me selfish but I want all these just for myself and to let you know that Joong I am different from every girl. I am your girl. Maybe just as a best friend at least.

Hongjoong stared at you with an amused glint in his eyes as if he is seeing a comedic scene unfolding in front of him. He always finds your ramblings cute and especially when you are a bit annoyed with something and complaining.

“So, are you not one of those girls as well?” His question caught you off guard for a second but then you played it cool. He is smirking in the wait of your reply.

“Of course not.”

“Why? Don’t you find me cool like they see me?”

“No. You are just my annoying friend who always teases me whenever a boy tries to approach me and then you scare the shit out of that boy.” You looked up a little because of the height proximity to show your glare at him.

He again laughed on your act. “They are not good for you.” His expression suddenly shifted from goofy to dark. His jaw look so tensed and bright eyes are now dark.

“Yeah sure as if you are good for me.” You whispered it so that he cant hear you. You just smiled tightly at him “Thanks for caring but I have to go now and I will then see you in the evening.” You waved at him and with quick steps you went to your class.

“You really can’t see it Y/N right?” Hongjoong chuckled sadly and looked up at the sky.

A blue bird was searching for a shelter moreover a home to protect herself from the upcoming storm.

“Everyone has a home to shelter themselves but I have a shelter but not a home.” He left the scene with a single tear rolling down his eyes.

“Hey Joong, so are we going now?” You are so excited to finally spend some time with your best friend after so long.

“Yes, we are going to your favourite park. Remember the one where we first met? I have got some snacks with me so that we won’t be feeling hungry.”

 “Omo how thoughtful you are.” You faked gasped and put your hands on your chest just above your heart. You can feel how fast your heartbeat is even when you are trying to act normal as best friends in front of him.

“So, lets sit by the side of fence, the view will be nice during the sunset and you can click pictures of it to save it for later.” Spring sunsets are always so beautiful and you both like it so much that no matter wherever you are, both of you take your time to cherish it.

Settling down by the side of the fence, both of you are sitting on a outdoor mat with your belongings kept aside and you facing towards the river to take in the beautiful view of the park as its your favorite meanwhile Hongjoong had a quick call with a professor.

“I miss spending time with you here. I still remember how we both met here when one evening your mother was late to pick you up and you were sitting on the bench with a scared face.” You averted your gaze towards the more beautiful view, towards Hongjoong. The boy is smiling at you with his sparky eyes and how bad you want to hug him right now. He is looking perfect under the warm essence of dusk and in the surrounding of spring season.

“Me too….” You replied still mesmerized by his presence beautifully so close to you.

“What happened? Are you thinking something? Are you hungry?” Hongjoong asked you in a very concerned way in which you simply smiled his way.

“It’s okay Joong, I’m okay.”

“Y/N?” his professional deep voice which he only uses when to confront with your exes or meeting anytime for the first time. He never uses that voice to you but maybe you were wrong.

“Hm?”

“You are bothered by something and I can clearly see the effect on your face.” On his remark , you cupped your face with both of your hands and close your eyes tightly to face him with an excuse other than explaining how you feel different meeting him alone now when you see him more than just best friends.

“No Joong, you are just overthinking. It’s nothing like that.”

“Come here.” He is now sitting facing the river with legs resting straight and leaning his upper body on his two arms on both the sides. His face with no expression asking to move towards him. You are sitting with your legs crossed with a towel spread on your legs and eating your favorite snack.

You didn’t understand why is he calling you towards him so you waited for him to say anything further. He extended one of his arms towards you which you gladly accepted with your own. Suddenly he pulled you towards him and make you sit on his thighs. You attempted to complain for his actions because he always does something like this out of his childish acts with you but you find it difficult for you to control your feelings for him in this situation.

You mentally scolded yourself to feel his actions like differently but this was all normal for both of you since childhood. Your questioning look asking him to speak why is he pulling you like this and waiting for him to clarify your thoughts.

“Now tell me Y/N, what is bothering you?”

‘You Hongjoong! What do you think? You are thinking you are helping me in this situation? You are making it more difficult for me.’

You pushed him and run towards the fence and hold them tightly to calm your heart with your eyes closed. It was always so nice meeting him before and spending time with him and ranting about each other’s life but the conditions are no more similar.

You felt someone hugging you from behind and resting his chin on your right shoulder when suddenly he spoke breathily.

“Why are you so easy to read Y/N?” His smiling lips hovering near your neck, this feels make you feel so safe in his embrace.

“What are you saying?” you nearly whispered but still audible for him to hear clearly for so close proximity.

He made you face him by turning your body. Your body resting on the waist level fences and his leaning forward when he put his arms on top of your hands on both of your sides holding the fence.

You looked up into his eyes to understand what does he mean by reading you easily.

“Why don’t you say it directly to me? How long do I need to wait for it?”

“Huh?”

“Why are you pretending not to understand?”

“I- “

“Do you like me?” His expression explains everything that he is not joking at all even he wants a valid reply from you that moment.

“I don’t know…….” You are avoiding his gaze when deep down you know how much you are lying in the moment when you want to hug him tightly and scream how you don’t want to lose him to someone else and make him yours.

“If you can’t say it then let me tell you Y/N, I like you. No wait I love you.” His right hand lifted up to your face to cup the side of your face.

He continues, “You are the reason for my life. I asked you out today not just because I haven’t met you for so long but to finally let out my feelings to you. I don’t know when I started having these feelings for you but I am happy that they are not atleast late.”

“Hongjoong, I have to-“

“Let me say mine first then I will let you to say all your parts.” Maybe he is your bestfriend but he always has this demanding aura whenever he is serious.

“I don’t like when you tell me that boys are trying to hit on you and whenever anyone approaches you with a proposal. I don’t want you to be someone else’s girl. You are my girl. You are my muse. All these designs and songs you see around and the recognition I got from them are inspired from you. It’s all because of you. I never had anyone to call mine as I have been raised in an orphanage till middle school and the family adopted was always too busy to spend time with me and that’s why I always play alone in that park when one day I met you.”

“Don’t you feel afraid of heartbreak if I reject your feelings for me?” You confidently ask him.

“No.”

“No?”

“I know your reply and I wanted you to feel the same for me and that’s why I waited so long just to realize that our feelings are mutual.” He is smiling at you happily which is hurting you more as you still haven’t said about your feelings for him.

“How?”

“Your act of ignoring me when am around. You avoiding eye contact whenever you are telling something private convos. Your jealousy visible on your face and in your actions when girls literally drool over me. Its so simple to read you and trust me I loved it. I enjoyed your possessiveness over me and I want that to feel when we are together not as bestfriends but as lovers.”

“I know….. I have to say you that I like you more you know. You don’t know how much it hurt to see with your classmate roaming around the building and people gossiping you both as a perfect couple when here am left back with feelings for you which I cant even tell you.”

“We are just working on same project you know nothing more.”

“Yes I know but people make up so much stories at some point they hurt you know. I tried to convince myself that I should not feel like that for my bestfriend but I failed miserably each time and fell for you harder.”

Hongjoong hugged you and caressed your back of the head. “Thanks for not giving up on your feelings and that’s why I got the chance to express myself to you.”

“I like you Hongjoong.”

“Oh that’s it?”

“Huh?”

“I love you because you are the poetry to my arts, you are the muse of my life to inspire me to proceed with life in a right way and always being my home but….”

“But?”

“You just like me?.....” He mimicked a sad hurtful expression and you realized what he is referring to.

“Joong! You are playing with me again. Okay listen I love you. Happy?”

“No.”

“Now what?”

“Kiss me.”

“…..Joong”

He gives you a small peck on the lips. “I have to seal the bond when I got the opportunity.”

You hit him on the chest and went towards your belongings on the ground to pack them for you and him. He watches you intently standing there.

“Wont you help me?” you asked him.

“With what?” An amused glint in his eyes and a mischievous smile dancing on his lips.

“Hongjoong!”

"Y/N!"

He laughed and proceeded to wrap up everything.

“Y/N? What are we now?” You both have your backpacks on and standing facing each other.

“Bestfriends?”

“But bestfriends don’t kiss.” You become shy when you realised few minutes back Hongjoong kissed you. He comes closer to you and pecks your lips again and then kissing your forehead, he holds you gaze when his hands cupped your face.

“um I am your muse so you are my artist then are we contracted partners?” You joked a bit to calm down your heartbeat. He laughed along with you because the way you were embarrassed with your own joke.

“You are my girl and I’m yours.”

“Mine.” You smiled at him heartily because finally you know you don’t have to lose him to someone else and now, he is completely yours.

Your bestfriend and also your man. Oh maybe your artist, come on you are his muse.

You hugged him tightly which he happily returned you with keeping you in his embrace. Under the thousands of blinking stars in the night sky, there is a beginning of a new love story.

[raptorsaurusmelain]

Let me show you... Youtube - chapter 26

I was a little burn out after my project but @boba-tea-fish comments gave me strength to write a chapter today. It is a mental health centered chapter.

Warning : no proof reading, English is not my mother tongue.

If you are interested in reading this fic, the tag "#twst lmsyy" will give you all the chapters.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

It was like a revelation for her. [Of course, that is the only explanation. All those weird whispers, those sounds… Plus, my ex ?? Couldn’t I choose someone else ? Like Morgan Freeman ? At least he could narrate my life with his beautiful voice.]

She sent her crochet flying. She was angry at herself. How could she even let her mental state become this wrecked ?

She laid down. The duvet and bed weren’t comfortable anymore. It was as if she was laying on the ground in the middle of the hallway of Ramshackle. It was hard. It was cold. If it was a sound, it would be like scratching metal. Disturbing. Strident sound. A call for help. What she didn’t know was what aspect this call for help will sound like in real life.

The tonic made an effect a few hours later, allowing her some kind of relief for her neurons. It was a night without any dreams or nightmares. It was just like passing out, like Crewel promised.

When she woke up, she had slept for approximately 5h, which was not a lot for an ill brain.

She stood up. She felt like her body was in a numb state. It was going to be a hellish week to survive until the doctor appointment.

She moved little by little to wear a pair of black leggings and an oversized t-shirt. The bare minimum. She wasn’t feeling like putting on make-up. She would be ugly for a week. Or more, if it stayed. It was going to stay, she knew it, but she was lying to herself because she needed to feel better fast. For Yuu. For Grim. They needed her.

She went out of her room and prepared breakfast. Yuu arrived in their school uniform, Grim by their side.

The woman smiled at the view. “Are you already going back to school ? You could stay a little bit longer at home, you know.”

Yuu smiled in return. “No, I have to go back to school at some point. I want to be able to survive in my environment, so I need to learn as much as I can. Like you said.”

The oldest blinked. [I did say that but I wasn’t expecting it to have an impact on Yuu…]. Victoria nodded. “Alright, if you think so. Who am I to stop you ?”

They went to school, hands in hands. All 3 needed strength in their own ways. Yuu needed help to cross the school gate. Victoria needed help to be able to work for the day. And Grim just needed help with his grade. It was exam season soon, they needed to pass. She needed money to shelter them, so they wouldn't be thrown out.

Before school started, she dropped by Crewel’s desk.

She looked left and right before entering the teacher’s lounge, hoping that Crowley and Trein wouldn’t be there. She didn’t need useless stress or nagging today. Or for a few days. Let’s make it a week.

Crewel saw her doing her little shenanigan. “Searching for someone ?”

Victoria was happy to see him. Like genuinely happy. And it showed on her face. “Dr Crewel ! I wanted to thank you for the tonic.”

He looked at her in silence for what seemed to be hours. She asked, doubtfully. “... Yes ?”

The man asked. “Did you wake up late ?”

The woman blinked. “No… Why ?”

Crewel bent to watch her closely. “You’re not wearing any make-up today. You look… Dead.”

She blanked due to the honesty she was facing. Then Victoria answered carefully. “Yeah, I didn’t feel like a living being today.”

He continued to scrutinize her, until he rectified his posture. “I know you looked cute, with your make-up and all, but despite being bare faced today, you are still cute.”

Victoria blinked a few times before saying. “I thought I was dead ?”

Crewel smiled. “A cute dead.”

Tagged : @boba-tea-fish @hipsterteller

[a-heart-like-a-sparrow]

May 20th, 2024 - Clear Day

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮

I saw an ex-friend from elementary school. I don't know if he saw me. I didn't say anything anyway. It was very awkward. I basically hid from him the whole hour I was at the park.

He went to school today. Finally. He got a haircut! His face changed a bit with it. But it looks good on him. I like watching him play football. And see him smile.

I passed my Chemistry exam. I only have two more left before the end of the term. I hope all this shit ends soon, I hate it.

I lost my earcuff. I could only wear it once and it disappear. But like, literally disappeared. I was so desperate that I even try to make GNOMES give it back to me (Y told me to do that). It didn't work.

Well, I guess I'll have to go back to the store and look for the same one. But there was another earcuff that had a skull, it was pretty cool. I might get that one instead. Or both. $3000 is not a lot... right?

(It is.)

I tried to watch a movie last night but MAX wasn't working well. Tonight I'll try again. Not I'll watch "Gilda" (1946). Heh, an English teacher I had had the same name. She was very nice.

I feel like posting something on Instagram but I don't have any pictures to do it. I actually have one, but I'm saving it for later. I wanted to take a photo of the sky at school but I couldn't, there were too many people.

I should do my Economy homework...

In the morning. It's due tomorrow at 9 PM. I've got time.

Rest well.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✮

[pinkiepiebones]

Hi! I absolutely love your writing, you always have just the right blend of angst/emotion/humour which makes your writing so enjoyable. You asked for prompts, so if you’re still taking them, may I request a Renfield and Dr Seward interaction, set in the novel/movie timeframe?

Okay first of all I'm ???!!! I love and appreciate your kind words so much!!!!

So here's the thing- 1) I'm not good at the book's timeline and B) the 1931 movie is very much not based on the book, and Renfield 2023 is based on the 1931 movie, not the book, so I have a different version od Seward in my head. In fact, Renfield met a Doctor Seward in my fic Scar Tissue...

Anyway, I still want to send you home with something in your bag, so-

-

Robert never liked doctors. He had grown up in an era, in a village where leeches were still considered good medicine. He never told Rebecca that; she'd never let him live it down.

Today she was driving him- as she often did when she was available, as Robert never learned to drive and did not in fact own a car- back for a follow up with a withered old ex-Mafia doctor.

Doctor Seward.

The name still sent jolts of dread up Robert's spine. Several decades ago he had been found in the belly of a merchant vessel, the Vesta, his grip on reality more than deteriorated partly due to the thrall of Count Dracula, and partly due to the weeks he had been confined in the cargo hold, guarding Dracula's coffin and eating the occasional rat that dared to venture too close to him. The sailors who found him took him to the sanitarium- fucking awful name for a fucking awful idea of a place. There he had been placed under the care of Doctor Jack Seward, and, later, Professor Van Helsing. Admittedly, Robert didn't remember much of his actual treatments, if any, in Seward's sanitarium; his attempts to remember were mostly blotted out and filled with the howling of wolves and the feel of cold stone stairs...

"Robert! Jeez dude, you're freaking me out."

Robert startled back to the present. He was still sitting in Rebecca's car. She was standing by the passenger side door, looking at him over her sunglasses. She had parked in the cracked and sun-baked parking lot in front of a desolate-looking strip mall which housed a nail salon at one end, a pizza parlor on the other, and in the middle a nondescript office from which this Doctor Seward, present tense, worked. Robert clambered out of the car and Rebecca put a hand on his arm. "You okay? We can blow this off if you want."

"I'm fine," Robert lied. "Just remembered something."

Rebecca frowned but trusted him. She led the way into the office. The inside had wood-panel walls and sickly yellowing floors and had the uneasy atmosphere of a cheaply made 1980s horror film. Or even a cheaply made 1980s courtroom drama film.

The receptionist barely looked up from her very important nail filing and waved Robert and Rebecca back. Rebecca fumbled for Robert's hand and squeezed.

"This is just a little follow up," she said as much for him as for her. "No X-rays this time." She let go and sighed. The first visit had scared her. Seward had shown Robert- and her- that Dracula's blood had never healed Robert fully, it had just zipped up his skin and set his muscle and bone tissue into spasms of replication, resulting in pockets of tissue masses inside his body. Seward had expressed genuine concern for Robert's pain and wrote him a prescription for it. And now they were back in the same exam room, with the same old magazines, only this time Robert wasn't in one of those silly paper gowns.

Doctor Seward shuffled in before Robert and Rebecca could start talking, which Rebecca was thankful for. He looked just as ancient and wrinkly as he had been when they first met, like a super-dehydrated Mister Potato Head.

"Mister Renfield," he said gruffly, extending his hand for a shake. No sooner had he gripped Robert's hand he turned and greeted Rebecca. "Not wife nor girlfriend."

"Rebecca," Rebecca said sternly.

"Hm."

Doctor Seward turned his attention back to his patient. "How you been, Mister Renfield? How's the pain?"

"Oh, um." Robert was sitting on the exam table. He looked down at his shoes. "I can definitely tell a difference in my day-to-day activities, thanks to the pain medication your prescribed."

Doctor Seward adjusted his thick glasses. "So, no more bizarre injuries that require a vampire's intervention?"

Rebecca stood, suddenly, and spoke. "Okay, enough bullshit. How do you know about that? Last time we were here, you called Robert a familiar. You know something, so spill."

The old doctor looked at Robert, who gave a little shrug and nod. Doctor Seward chuckled. "Well, Rebecca, it's not a big twist. A long time ago Mister Renfield here was a resident of Seward's Sanitarium." Rebecca stared at Robert, who nodded and managed to give her an apologetic 'sorry I didn't tell you about my time in a sanitarium' look.

"That Seward was my father."

Robert nearly fell off the exam table. "The fuck?" he exclaimed, then immediately after, "shit, sorry, I'm just-"

"Fuck," Rebecca agreed.

Doctor Seward nodded. "Yeah. After pop died I was tasked with going through his papers, y'know, what to save and what to toss. Found his old notes about Mister Renfield." He gave Robert a shockingly gentle smile. "Sorry for not bein' up front about this. Figured you wouldn't want to be reminded of my pop and your time with him."

Then, Doctor Seward returned to his gruff self. "Aright, clear out. The Invisible Man's coming in for X-Rays soon."

In the car, barely out of the parking lot, Rebecca gripped the wheel tight. "This is some fucking weird shit, Robert."

Robert was looking out his window, partially daydreaming. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean is," Rebecca sighed, turning in to traffic, "that it's really weird that this Mafia doctor I knew about from my policing days just so happens to be the son of a doctor who treated you? That's weird!"

Robert made a noncommittal noise.

"It's like someone's trying to write your life, but that someone's also kinda lazy, I guess."

Robert snickered. "Well, if my life was being written, I'd certainly give the writer five stars for effort."

Rebecca rolled her eyes. "You're just saying that so the writer is nice to you."

Robert made a noncommittal noise.

[marvin-wtf]

✨HANNAH MONTANA TICKLE HEADCANONS✨

¿Why make Headcanons from an old Disney Channel series? The question here is… ¡¿WHY NOT?! It's one of my favorite series even today, and of course I have tk headcanons that I haven't had the chance to talk to anyone. I recently found this community, so…here it goes! I hope you like it.

P.S: I comment about my bad English, I use a translator, this is not my first language, sorry :(

Miley Stewart | Hannah Montana ⭐

Ler

Well, clearly he's going to tickle you until he finds your weak points, once he finds them he'll exploit that area until he notices you choking.

Normally I wouldn't use teasing and tickle talk, but with his girlfrien-EHEM best friend of his Lilly is an exception.

He uses tickling as a way to make someone who needs it feel better, although he would also use it to get some gossip or information that interests him, he would do it by gently stinging the ribs and then inserting his fingers.

His favorite victim for tickle fights is clearly Lilly, she loves to surprise tickle him, though she would never mind doing a little to Oliver to punish him after saying one of her stupid things.

Lee

Its most sensitive points are the sides, as soon as you squeeze them it is already squealing and twisting.

In her childhood, she was always teased by Jackson in sudden bouts of tickling due to the difference in size, at least growing up, her brother would think twice before doing it again.

She secretly loves tickling, when her exes tickled them, with her look she cried out not to stop.

Oh no...

Here it comes...

MARVIN IS GOING TO TALK ABOUT HIS FAVORITE CHARACTER, DON'T LET HIM DO IT

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Lilly Truscott 🐕

Ler

It adores to moving the fingers opposite to his victims as form of anticipation, of this form, the fact was that it discovered the foible of Miley.

She loves tickling teasing, she's an expert at that, she'll make fun of you until you're as red as a tomato.

When she sees her best friend sad, she doesn't hesitate to cheer her up by tickling her until she sees a genuine smile on her face.

DON'T LET HIM TALK ABOUT THIS DON'T LET HIM TALK ABOUT THIS!!! AAAAAHHHH

OHOHOHOHOHOH...

Lee

SHITTTTTT ¡¿WHERE DO I START?! HIS LAUGHTER IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL, SHE WILL SQUIRM AND ASK YOU TO STOP EVEN THOUGH DOESN'T WANT YOU TO REALLY DO IT.

OH BOY THIS IS MY FAVORITE HEADCANON DO YOU NOTICE THAT VIBE? HE'S A FUCKING GOLDEN RETRIEVER, WHEN HER STOMACH IS TICKLED SHE'S GOING TO MOVE HER LEG AS IF IT WAS A PUPPY RECEIVING CUDDLES, MILEY USUALLY TAKES MUCH ADVANTAGE OF THIS.

HUHUHU, DID I MENTION THE STOMACH IT IS NOT LIKE THAT?  CLEAR THAT IS HIS MOST TICKLISH POINT, SHE WILL HOWL OF THE LAUGH AS A SMALL AND ADORABLE PUPPY.

Of course he's going to kick and bite as soon as he can't stand the tickling, although none of that is on purpose, it's a reflex.

It's not about tickling but did I mention she's a golden retriever puppy? Please just watch every frame of the series, she has a tail and cute ears that always stay up.

HEHEHEHE AN EXTRA BETWEEN THEM TWO, I ADMIT IT, I SHIP THEM WITH ALL MY SOUL, THEY ARE MY OTP, SO FROM HERE WE WILL USE THAT THEY ARE GIRLFRIENDS, OK?

Tell him yes to shut up please…

As I already mentioned in other points, they love tickle fights between the two of them.

The one who starts the fights is usually Miley… and she ends up losing.

Of course, if she manages to attack Lilly's stomach, she will win easily, that's why she knows how to protect that area first of all.

Normally their fights end with both of them laughing slightly as they look into each other's eyes, then they say I love you… and maybe there are kisses involved.

Lilly always manages to stay on top of Miley, don't let the size difference fool you, the blonde puppy is very strong, with a few movements she will manage to subdue her girlfriend.

THEY LOVE AND TICKLE THEMSELVES TOGETHER THE END.

Thanks for reading this, I really should be studying for an exam I need to take in a couple of weeks, but they have me here writing headcanons.

I hope that they should like reading this, I put all my heart.

Anyway, see you soon 😺.

[sankyeom]

hii belle how have you been? it has been a long time since we talked how have u been tell me everything

my life has been eventfull so life update

1 i broke up w my now ex bf

it was a long time ago tho like 2 months ago?? he liked someone else and we broke up we ended up in good terms im not mad bc its his feelings we dont control that shit yk?? so im not mad im dissapointed he didnt tell me earlier?? bc ik he had feelings for atleast a week saurr yeah

2 mental health

my mental health has been shit i got suspended from school and that really took a toll on it (people pleaser😽😽 and burnt out gifted kid) im on my last 2 weeks of school and im so fucking stressed i have a chemistry exam on wensday that im so lost on i have my astronomy final a week from now i have a project to finish for next week and a paper that is due wensday that i think i lost i cried 4 times today bc of the stressed im just so tired im exausted

3 writing

i have been more consistent w my writing i have 3 series going on rn (one im still writing) but it has been truly an escape for me and im lowkey proud of myself

4 volleyball

im now training in volleyball i have training 3 times a week its very insanely frustrating bc im so bad and it drives me insane

i think that is it?? idk but yeah how have u been pls tell me juseyo

love auri💐

hi auri my dear, it’s so good to hear from you!! 🥰

first of all, i’m so sorry to hear about the circumstances of your break up, that sounds really tough and i feel for you. hopefully, you’re doing well on this matter and realise that you are so special and wonderful. you’re stronger than i am for not being mad, i would definitely be in a different place. 💛

i REALLY get the whole burnt out gifted kid thing, it’s honestly so rough and confusing to be in school in that situation. mental health is such a hard thing especially when there’s a lot of academic pressure on you, and i hope that you will be able to find some time for yourself after your final exams and projects are over. i wish someone had told me that my worth doesn’t come from academic perfection a long time ago, and i hope that you can start to build a healthier relationship with academics in the future. you can do it, i believe in you!! 🥰🥰

remember to take lots of breaks and do something that you love to reward yourself for finishing your exams, even if you aren’t 100% happy with your results. 🦋

i’m so glad that writing has been an escape for you!! i think it’s extremely important to have hobbies and things that you do in your free time that are just for your own enjoyment. hopefully it will help a little with your mental health 🌷

i’ve been alright! my finals week just started and i have a lot on my plate, but once it’s over i’m going to have nearly a month of holidays to decompress and relax a little bit 😊🌸

i have really been lacking in the writing department recently, i’ve just been lacking a lot of inspiration and i haven’t been able to write anything because i’ve been so busy with school, tutoring, my internship, and college transfer applications. hopefully my next quarter will be less busy since i’m only taking three classes, and i think i should have more time to write and update here!

[parksprout]

Sprout Journal 11/3/24

Hey Tumblr! There's some stuff I wanna talk about today, so I'm going to do a lil journal entry. I was doing journaling at home with pen and paper, but frankly my handwriting is so bad and I use my hands like that so infrequently that I was cramping before I got even close to writing all of my thoughts out each day. So I decided I'm going to put my thoughts that I can share out like this, it can be somewhat of a log of my own self growth! And also keep me a lil sane if I'm struggling again.

Today has been a really good day, actually! So I was on a really successful diet for about 6 months during which I got a 3rd of the way to my overall weight goal and built a bunch of muscle. Then, when I started college full time, I basically stopped altogether. I didn't gain any weight back, but I have been plateaued (least favorite word to spell omg) for a looonggggg time. This week, I've been finally eating how I want to again. My go to breakfast has been

Overnight oats: 1/2 cup of unrefined dried oats 1/2 cup of 2% milk 1 whole banana cut into thin slices 1 tablespoon of honey

Honestly I had it on like the 29th without any banana or honey and that SHIT WAS ASSSSSSS. It was so bland, but I hate wasting food so I downed that slop anyway and felt siicccckkkk ough. Honestly it's been really hard to eat lately due to my current tweak out sesh (breakup stuff) and forcing myself to down that was terrible ToT. This new version with banana and honey is AMAZING THOUGH LIKE ITS GENUINELY TASTY?

After I ate that I went to work and... honestly? As much as I hate my co-workers? It was really good to see them today. They may be bad people, but they are all really attached to me. I have been giving them all life advice for so long because I thought I had it all figured out, and it's very funny being on the opposite end of things now. I specifically asked them if they think I was being silly for reaching out and breaking no contact with my partner (they are my ex but... ugh it doesn't feel right to say that, it makes my stomach hurt). I explained to them why, how, and when I did it and... they actually supported me, they are the only ones in my life who think that reaching out was anything but a mistake. I probably asked 12 people about it and only those three felt like... maybe I'm not wrong for trying to continue the conversation more than we did. Either way, they responded yesterday and we've been talking a lot today. Us talking naturally doesn't mean we're automatically back together, but it might be a new beginning of sorts regardless of what the end looks like. I'm feeling hopeful that we might be able to talk things out and heal, but I can't say anything for certain for now and probably won't be able to for a long time.

I can say that... I found out today that they were thinking about me too. When they started replying to my texts today I snuck out of work to sit in the back of my car and just... take in what they were saying, and respond. They took a picture at work that had my name on it... that made me cry real, fat tears for the first time since this happened. It's strange how I had been sobbing but my cheeks stayed dry, but the moment I talked to them and saw a glimmer of us in their life I started bawling in the back of my own car.

Today is also the first day I've rested instead of heading to the gym after work since this all started. Oh my god my body is so sore. Right now I'm planning out the rest of my night and physical activity is NOT on the agenda.

- After I post this I'll give myself a bit more time to rest and relax - Then it's time to work on homework! First I have to practice for an oral exam I have tomorrow in Spanish class. Then after that, I have both a presentation and another project in Archaeology due on Friday ToT I also have this re-write of a short story for creative writing that I need to work on a second draft of - Then I want to work on OC stuff? I have some ideas for a sleep token OC that I wanna work on, and also I think I can refine my OC's for DnD, my personal writing projects and more somewhat? I think it'd been neat to try and draw them myself sometime soon - besides that I don't think I have plans. Maybe some video games or reading if I have extra time!

Thank you for listening tonight tumblr, you're the realest <3 if anyone sees this, I'm still looking for more mutuals! I wanna learn more about people who share my interests, don't be a stranger :3

[sempiternalsunrise]

~just some venting~

So. I had a breakdown today, lol. Cried my soul out to my boyfriend that I'm overwhelmed with the whole situation.

My sister returned back into my life after years of low contact. She got away from her controlling (now ex) boyfriend. And I really wanna support her all the way but his shit drains me. I have some baggage about an abusive ex too (had therapy for 6 years, haha) and this is situation is stirring it all up. I've been more or less paralysed for the last 7-10 days (actually don't know exactly).

I need to do shit for my mums wedding (I'm a bridesmaid) and I need to study for exams and have a deadline for a paper at the end of September. And I can't get shit done. I feel guilty and terrible but I can't do shit. I cry when I don't have something that's occupying my mind (some series, anime or youtube video) and I feel like I should maybe see a doctor and get some prescription but I'm so scared of the side effects. I already lost my libido once due to the pill and I don't wanna do that again. I also don't wanna gain weight (I'm afraid my boyfriend would think I'm less attractive)

I'm having this feeling or urge of 'I want my mom' but it's not my mum that I want. I just wish for someone to love me unconditionally and also let me feel like that. And my mum isn't exactly the lovey-dovey kind of human. (she's not a bad mother but not a good one either)

I just wanna be okay. I wanna be happy. I wanna excel at my studies. I wanna have a future to look forward to. I don't wanna be haunted by my past anymore. I wanna let go of the ghost of him.

[teenmomcentral]

Here are some of the major (and minor but interesting) ‘Teen Mom’-related things that happened over the last few days...

Leah Messer Passed Her Real Estate Exams; Her Sister Victoria Says “In Your Face” to Leah’s Haters 

Leah announced on Wednesday that she has officially passed both of the exams required to become a real estate agent in her home state.

Leah celebrated the achievement by posting a pic from one of her many, many professional photoshoots, captioning it with her achievements, which now include completing the Real Estate Salesperson Exam.

Over the past few years, Leah has shared her desire to enter the real estate world, but during a 2022 episode of ‘Teen Mom 2,’ Leah attempted to take one of her required tests but was unable to, due to a “system flaw.” Leah was criticized months later for still not taking the test. 

Last month, though, Leah told her Instagram followers that she had passed the state portion of her real estate exam, but still needed to pass the national portion of the test. 

West Virginia requires that its real estate sales agents complete 90 hours of coursework before they can even take the exam. The four classes required are Real Estate Principles & Practices (30 hours); Real Estate Law (20 hours); Real Estate Finance (20 hours); and Real Estate Appraisal (20 hours). The applicant must score at least 70% or higher in each class in order to be eligible to take the exam. 

Now that Leah has passed both the state and national portions of her exam, she has 90 days to apply for her real estate agent license. 

Leah’s sister, Victoria Messer, took to Instagram on Wednesday to not only congratulate her sister but to also drag all of the nay-sayers who didn’t believe Leah would actually complete the task she set out to do. Victoria told the haters that she is very proud to say Leah, did, indeed, “finish through” her exams. 

“This is for all you a**holes who like to troll the Internet and for the a**holes outside the Internet that liked to talk s**t and say she wouldn’t ever finish through with her real estate, y’all all just got smack in the face!” Victoria wrote in the caption of Leah’s “businesswoman” headshot. “As of today she has PASSED and she is now entering the real estate world!”

Victoria then seemed to get in a dig at Leah’s ex-husband, Jeremy Calvert, by implying that Leah takes care of their daughter, Addie, solo.

“Soo beyond proud of her for accomplishing this and taking care of her three girls and one child she takes care of all by herself and doing a damn good job! Keep going, keep shining, keep growing!! Love you infinity.”

Ashley Jones’ Mom, Tea Chapple, is Getting a Divorce

‘Teen Mom’ grandma Tea Chapple is getting back into the dating scene. 

According to The Sun, the mom of Ashley Jones filed for divorce from her husband, Roosevelt Chapple, last week. 

Tea has since gone on to confirm the news herself on social media. 

“Many thought I would never do it but I love myself more… I filed for divorce,” she wrote on Facebook. “I thank Yah for the strength it took. Long overdue and thankful I’m escaping with my sanity and what’s left of my heart.” 

As viewers saw on a recent episode of ‘Teen Mom: The Next Chapter,’ Tea told Ashley that she had also been “constantly fighting” with Ashley’s stepdad and was concerned about the impact it was having on Ashley’s younger sister Rosie.

According to court papers obtained by The Sun, Tea is requesting sole custody of the couple’s 11-year-old daughter Rosie. She is also asking for $512 a month in child support, and $300 a month in spousal support for the next four years. Tea stated that a visitation schedule for Rosie and Roosevelt has already been established.

Surprisingly, Shen Williams— the mother of Ashley’s husband Bar Smith, shared some kind words with Tea this week regarding her recent split. 

“Prayers to her I been there,” she commented on the @TeenMomFanz‘ Instagram post about the divorce. “When I went thru it I took a beating publicly and I’m private. I would never wish this on anyone nor should they endure judgement. Prayers for her healing.” 

Cory Wharton Wants to Have More Kids With His Girlfriend Taylor Selfridge

Cory says his baby-making days are far from over. 

In a new interview with The Sun, the father of three revealed recently that he wants to have more children with girlfriend Taylor Selfridge, who made her return to ‘Teen Mom’ this season

“I definitely want another kid or two,” Cory revealed. 

As fans of ‘Teen Mom’ (or The Challenge) already know, Cory and Taylor are parents to two daughters: three-year-old Mila and one-year-old Maya. Cory also shares six-year-old daughter Ryder with ex Cheyenne Floyd. 

While Cory is currently living that #GirlDad life, he says he’s determined to father a son. 

“I want a boy. You guys know I need my boy,” Cory said. “So it needs to happen.” 

Cory seemed to insist that this need to father a son is partially due to Ryder recently telling him that she didn’t want to play sports and instead, wants to pursue singing and dancing. 

“I said, ‘Oh my heart!’ But I’m going to support her no matter what,” he said. 

While Cory plans to continue adding to the population in the near future, he doesn’t plan to put a ring on Taylor’s finger anytime soon. 

“No, we’re good right now, but we got some things coming out in the future,” he said. 

Former ‘Teen Mom 2’ Grandpa Eddie Rivera Has Remarried

Jo Rivera‘s pops is once again a married man. 

The former ‘Teen Mom 2’ grandpa shared photos to Facebook over the weekend featuring he and his new bride at their wedding.

(Jo nor his wife, Vee Torres, have posted any photos of the newlyweds’ nuptials to their own socials.)

According to the couple’s wedding website, Eddie married a woman named Ysabel, and the nuptials took place in Union, New Jersey, on Saturday, September 16.

Longtime fans of 16 and Pregnant and ‘Teen Mom 2’ may remember Eddie and then-wife, Janet Mantalvo, often appearing alongside Jo and Kail on the show. The couple’s other son, Junior Rivera, was also featured in early seasons. 

Eddie and Janet divorced in the early 2010s. Janet has not remarried.