#but also I’m only one PK and even my sibling doesn’t necessarily agree with me
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No Nuance November
(nuance/additional thoughts located in the tags):
People who decide to become pastors/reverends/preachers/etc. probably shouldn’t have kids.
#exvangelical#I say this as a PK#but also I’m only one PK and even my sibling doesn’t necessarily agree with me#and I do come at this from a Christian lens#grew up super conservative Christian#so it may be different for those who dedicate their lives to religion in other religious traditions#but bc of the mandate of religious leaders in Christianity#it causes those who choose that life to be neglectful of everything and everyone else in a vast majority of the cases I’ve seen#‘deny oneself’ is the name of the game#but by doing so#and by giving 100% to the church#you have nothing left for yourself and even less for any potential spouse or children#so it becomes at best neglectful#and at worst extremely abusive#it also puts your children in an awful spot#where the majority of the congregation sees the children of religious leaders as ‘special’ or ‘holier’ or ‘more blessed’ in some way#which leads to some weird self image stuff#and also causes a lot of doubt and shame when you can’t be perfect but are unfortunately human#I do think there are some pastors who are able to see their role as just one part of themselves and still be present in their lives#but that is a minority at this point in time#I honestly don’t really believe in dictating what relationships people can or can’t have#so I actually would never practically support a rule like this#but I do think it’s important to listen to PKs about this#the majority of pastors are not PKs themselves#and then unknowingly send their children into this lion’s den of religious trauma#and then complain when their children don’t want anything to do with the church as adults#it’s pretty telling that every therapist I’ve ever seen is like ‘oh yeah I see lots of PKs’
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