#bc i'm tired !
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#down the rabbit hole#again#new vegas#vulpes inculta#courier oc#sketch dump#bc i'm tired#I'm sketching directly with fineliners and pen to try to speed up my drawing#last one is digital#censoring bc i've had banned posts before
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https://www.tumblr.com/stinkypossum/737728910883749888/yeah-i-love-doing-gingerbread-houses-dont
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because we all know you probably are gonna see this anyway, i’ll tag you. @eddiesbuttcheeks
miles. miles, miles, miles. there are so many things i could say about you and to you. but i’m pretty sure i’ve said them all.
you constantly play the victim yet you’re the one hurting people left and right. you blame it on a mental illness that i know many people have, but they don’t act the way you do. i literally stopped being friends with you because i couldn’t handle being your therapist and you flew off the handle. you called bee a bitch because she was talking to me. which at this point, i hadn’t even called you out. i had just ended things with you.
its exhausting being friends with you. i bet its even more exhausting dating you. you hate me so much because i saw you for the monster you truly are. i have many people on my side, many stories i have heard including my own. my own irl friend saw how shitty you were and that was even before i stopped being your friend.
you don’t take responsibility for your actions. you hurt people again and again, but the minute someone calls you out on it, suddenly you’re the one being hurt. we’re the ones who are hurting you. you block people and then make shitty apology posts that say nothing of value let alone an actual apology.
do us all a favor and grow up. your therapists aren’t helping, your medication isn’t working, and tumblr is obviously making things worse. i personally don’t care if you get better or not. i just want my friends to stop being hurt by your decisions and my heart goes out to your kid. he doesn’t deserve the shit you put him through.
also you’re ugly as shit dude. please stop posting your cosplays. our eyes are fucking bleeding.
ps i have never once sent you anonymous hate, because i want you to know it’s me. i’m on your mind 24/7 but you only cross mine when you hurt someone i care about. unfortunately it happens more than it should.
and for all the people who are kissing his ass: jasmine, winnie, kara, ivy, everyone else because i can’t name you all. i hope you eventually can open your eyes and see the damage he has done, but i don’t think that’s possible. especially since one of you has already told me how much you dislike him but the minute you and i break up, you’re on his dick.
your bestie,
stiles
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i feel like we should go back to enjoying kpop without nitpicking every tiny detail maybe that would heal me
#anyone in#bc i'm tired#i just wanna jam to music and watch silly people do silly stuff#also kinda realized while writing this that going back might not be the best way to say it because#i don't think there was ever a time where kpop stans were truly just vibing and NOT picking apart everything about idols....#000
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reblog to give ur mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head
#i can't reblog this from everyone so this is just me giving all my mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head#if u see this#*muah*#soft lil kissy on the head#and if u don't want one u can have a head pat#or i can lovingly send soft lovey vibes your way#all options are valid#idk i just#need to spread some love today#i'm tired and sad and stressed#so i'm giving u all some love#bc i need to fill myself with more of it#love u all hope u have/are having a good day#mutuals#not stargate
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dadkarios doods sponsored by my stress migraine
#bg3#baldur's gate 3#galemance#dadkarios#gale dekarios#tav#and ft cyra's fancy cane!!#the only thing that got mabel into the world was cyra knowing she couldn't kill gale until it was over#and of course she's just a smaller version of gale bc life isn't fair#i'm so fucking TIRED bc i had a job interview today and my body has just come down from being in panic mode all week#these were almost done days ago but i was in a Lot of pain and we didn't have any painkillers
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i'm sorry but i don't think we should call this the "autism website" when there's still posts with tons of notes mocking people who:
struggle with social skills / have anxiety around social settings
are unemployed / unable to work certain jobs
have intense or "age-inappropriate" interests
haven't had certain life experiences that are deemed universal/essential
struggle with personal hygiene
don't have any friends or dating experience
don't go outside much or at all
take things literally / don't get sarcasm/jokes
have unusual ways of speaking
generally aren't "normal"
#+ other things i'm probably forgetting rn#i know most of these apply to other disabilities too but i wanted to focus on autism bc of all the 'autism website' stuff#it's genuinely disturbing to see someone go 'lol autism website'#and then in the next breath be like 'omg look at this loser who [literal symptom of autism]'#but i guess when these people talk about autism they don't mean actual autism#but the tiktok style 'just a bit quirky but still able to assimilate into abled hegemony with ease' autism#i'm just tired of the hypocrisy#autism acceptance month is over now it's time for autism wrath month#being disabled on tumblr can be fucking awful sometimes. might take a break for a while bc i just don't have the energy to deal with it#autism#actually autistic#actuallyautistic
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Gravity Falls magmas I hosted. Have fun looking at everything!
Some close ups of my stuff:
#be prepared for these tags.#the book of bill#gravity falls#dipper pines#mabel pines#bill cipher#stanford pines#ford pines#stanley pines#stan pines#soos ramirez#giffany#rumble mcskirmish#wendy corduroy#pacifica northwest#dipcifica#yes the ship#billford#baby bill cipher#human bill cipher#various of them.#trans dipper pines#waddles the pig#fiddleford mcgucket#i'm getting tired#tails ended up on here bc of my icon#magma art#rovers art#artists on tumblr#the post broke ummm oops i fixed it now.
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Hello, a little rant here. I don't know whether people are becoming insensitive or I'm just taking things very seriously these times, but I beg of you, when I post about an update on the situation in Gaza, or about a lost life or any piece of news that is most likely horrifying and heartbreaking, do not repost or reblog with "yikes" or "real bullshit" or whatever goes in the same line. It just makes it seem so trivial when in fact it's world-shattering. Not to mention the horrible edits I see on Instagram/tiktok.
I literally came across an "Instagram reel" of my friend's UNCLE (who lost three of his kids, and was saying his goodbyes while they were in body bags), it was edited into a reel, with the effects and changing colors and the trending sound of the song "daylight by David kushner". I was speechless.
I know people show their solidarity differently, I know this. Especially through music, I've literally been listening to Samer songs as well as "Telk Qadieah", etc. But the edit I saw was way too much. I don't know how to explain it, because I've seen many reels of Palestinians in Gaza grieving and I thought it's important to share them but this one is different. It was like the edits you'd make for characters from a TV show or movie that died or had a sad storyline.
I don't know, maybe I'm overreacting but I genuinely feel like I'm going crazy. With everything going on and how it seems like some people are living in a parallel world rn.
I hope I don't get misunderstood, I'm not talking about the general clips with sometimes sad songs on them, I'm talking about certain edits the people started to make that are so weird and insensitive. Like the people they're editing aren't real, like they're some entertainment material.
#I'm not good with words honestly i just am tired#i might even delete this later bc i never share personal stuff here but still#text post#gaza#palestine
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I did it. I called my parents, told them they need to use they/them for me for us to have a healthy relationship, and it worked.
My dad said his love for me is unconditional and he's invested in getting this right. My mom asked in a strained tone how this affects my relationship with my husband, how she's supposed to refer to me with people in her life, etc. (best case scenario given how abysmal this convo went with her a year ago). And we ended it all with our life updates and "I love you"s.
Since it took a lot of research to find articles more suited to adult children coming out as trans/nonbinary, here's the list of (primarily non-aggressive) resources on terms and mindset I texted them in case they can help anyone else:
Itchy sweaters: An ally’s guide to understanding late-in-life pronoun and gender changes (new pronouns = softer sweater metaphor)
Your adult child just came out as non-binary. Now what? (terminology)
The Wonderful World of Gender: What It Means to Be Nonbinary (terminology)
What Does It Mean to Misgender Someone? (terminology)
8 Things I’ve Learned Parenting a Non-Binary Kid That Might Help You (acknowledges parent's emotional response)
Edit:
OMG Y'ALL MY MOM JUST TEXTED THIS
"I know I was quiet in today's conversation but you are my child and I love you and support you. I want nothing but happiness and a healthy life for you!!!😉😀"
#trans#coming out#nonbinary#agender#genderqueer#I'm singing from the rooftops y'all#while also feeling very tired#celebrated by getting an outfit from both& bc I love their sleeveless T#sweeping victory#now everyone in my daily life respects that I use they (or fey)#happy pride 🌈
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anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...
#not a shitpost#serious post#ask to tag#tw trauma#cptsd#c-ptsd#and if so we should TALK about it#because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays#like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc#bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times#and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd)#because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact#2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc#3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation#and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie#4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories#and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong#weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards#i got lucky there#also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons
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As promised I went ahead and continued my "ghoul guide" with a part 2 (part one linked in replies)! This one covers stuff specifically with a made up lore guide of in-world ghoul stuff as if they were a sort of unique magic entity.
This one wound up way longer and had to be split so expect a third final one eventually lmao. for now though... I'm gonna take a break and yell. Bonus extra info plus the transcript under the cut!
ID in ALT text!
Bonus note: While not portrayed in the guide, it’s important to know a detail about ghouls’ origin called “memory echoes”. While ghouls are formed from humans past who lose all memory of their previous self while maintaining an assumed personality from before, at times certain instances of events, actions, items, and otherwise can trigger these “echoes”. Echoes are very rare, but a valued treasure to ghouls; they make them feel more connected to their past and more “human”. Upon triggering an echo, a ghoul will become completely listless, unable to respond or react until the echo has completed, usually within seconds.
“Memory echoes” are described as blurry faded memories that often show featureless shapes and colors, but a very strong “feeling” of a Deja-vu of the moment. They feel viscerally real and can have a mix of the senses i.e. touch and smell, but produce no recognizable faces or imagery of the self. No ghoul has ever reported fully remembering one, nor any semblance of their true past beyond the haunting leftovers.
Begin Transcript:
A Compendium of Hell’s Derivates
While there are many theories on the demonic nature of ghouls,
The true source is surprisingly Human.
Souls cannot be recreated; rather, they’re Recycled and Reborn
The cycle of ghoul creation started for unknown reasons…
But one thing is Certain:
Natural forces do not change easily.
Raw elements collide with the fuel of life itself until one connects
by His command
A violent injection of pure elemental magic
Rewrites and erases all memory and one’s past, drastically altering the soul…
These new powers lend to the powerful allies of the ministry,
However….
… new powers are a dangerous toy.
While coined as “Feral”, new ghouls would better be designated “Raw”, “Unbound”, and “Lawlessly Dangerous”
First formed, they are still elements;
Torrential, Aimless,
Incapable of coherent thought or rules
-but with time, coherence returns to the individual
Who grows much like a life cycle’s stages without necessarily aging.
The overall cycle is the same per ghoul, yet varied enough each rises differently…
First form: “Raw” – Second form (1): “Feral” – Second form (2) – Third form: “Stabilized”
Catalyst, violent, poor formation – Unaware, wild, chaotic – Conscious; can act like oneself; less raw – fully formed and recognizable
The first form, “Raw”, is notably so violent the devil himself does not release them until stage two.
The second form in stage one of a “Feral” ghoul is much like the forces of nature; free willed and wild, understanding minimal speech.
Take caution: they can be mischievous and cause decent damage.
In the second stage of a “Feral” ghoul, they behave like typical people; however, they’re still very free and may choose to never fully stabilize.
Note: you can tell they’ve reached this stage by presence of a tail and civil habits.
If desired, a ghoul reaches the final form: “Stabilized”. They’re transformed into a stable humanoid body, a form less powerful but safer.
Note: Talented ghouls can change form at will in this stage between secondary Feral and Stable.
When it comes to location, each form is most likely to be found:
Raw: Hell, contained
Feral (Stage 1): wilds/natural areas
Feral (Stage 2): wilds and civil areas
Stabilized: anywhere people go
Seeing feral ghouls is not uncommon, and can even be considered lucky!
They tend to provide free protection to keep their home
Ghouls can only stabilize via ministry ritual;
One can assume they’re ministry members if stable, even off duty.
Ghouls are uncommon, but found most places if looked for;
This seems especially true near ministry placements.
Ghouls only form from adults and don’t “age” traditionally, yet they’re still mortal
Deceased ghouls do not seem to return or recycle.
Summoning intentionally pulls only second stage feral ghouls or stable ghouls from anywhere,
They don’t always like this however (see other guide).
The cycle of ghouls serves a main purpose – as forces for the Dark One, in return for rebirth
However, there are two channels through which they serve.
1) Natural defense against corrupted holy magic
Non-stable ghouls defend at will naturally where they live
2) training to fight, protect, and uphold the ministry’s efforts in the name of the Devil.
Contrary to belief, summonings cannot grab from “nothing”;
Like the creation of a ghoul,
Their element, once developed, is what becomes pulled by nature
The force of such pull is incredible,
A disorientating test of will so great…
…it can render even the most sound minds rather violent.
This is why while some choose to stabilize, others may not;
But should a mind change, they can be freed or re-summoned.
Alternative to wild summoning, one can summon from trained ghouls over feral;
Many ghouls are trained for ministry positions all over, but any can be summoned if unassigned.
Though stabilized, unassigned ghouls are not contractually bound to anyone until assigned.
They’re great for extra work hands and being able to know what kind of team mates you’ll get without leaving it to chance.
Summoning any ghoul however reverts them to feral form, and the challenge to tame them remains the same.
Just because you know a ghoul does not mean an easy summon.
Finally, be warned: forcing unwanted breaking or upholding of a summoning contract
Will have dire consequences.
Aside from rarity of an element, there are “power classes” within each element.
Tiers:
Rarity of an element does not equal strength.
The break down is as follows:
Rare – extreme and dangerous power. These ghouls earn a specialized title.
Quite strong, stand out in their class and very sought after.
Most common tier; average and decent powers that are expectable.
Weak powers, but some uses are applicable.
Uncommon – ghouls who possess little to no powers. Ghouls in this tier may at times suddenly change power tier without warning to any other category.
S-Tier ghouls are quite rare and a sight to behold- truly, they embody nature’s power.
End transcript.
#ghost bc#the band ghost#ghost band#nameless ghouls#papa copia#cardinal copia#papa emeritus iv#sodo ghoul#rain ghoul#phantom ghoul#dewdrop ghoul#mountain ghoul#swiss ghoul#aurora ghoulette#cumulus ghoulette#cirrus ghoulette#papa terzo#papa emeritus iii#omega ghoul#cardinal primo#cardinal secondo#papa nihil#sister imperator#ghoul guide#comic#long post#jhopoouughhghhhhoughh. i'm so tired. and there's still gonne be one more. lol HELP!#aether ghoul
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he looks so good in glasses i'm too stunned to speak
#btsgif#btsedit#dailybts#userdimple#raplineuser#userpat#useremmeline#annietrack#usersky#tuserandi#usermaggie#usersevn#heyginkgo#creatyoon#uservans#userpris#seokjinedit#kim seokjin#bts#*#i know that practically everyone giffed that#but i needed to#besides i wanted to experiment with sharpening bc giffing from yt videos is some kind of russian roulette and i'm freaking tired of it#looks decent#me thinks
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#worufu draws#i'm so tired guys#so so very tired#so this is where i am mentally#had to rush a lot of it bc ngl i did have a little cry whilst drawing this#as you do#treasure planet
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me, a responsible being, working on the coding project as I should vs. me, a dysfunctional shithead, getting distracted by reading about brains (once aGAIN damnit (it's my favorite "I need to study my field but bc I should do that it's an impossible unthinkable feat now, so I'm reading about something else to fool my brain I'm still being productive"-topic))
#but after my thesis me & brains have been on a break bc got tired reading abt them during that (bc I had a topic that sorta allowed me to#sidetrack to brain stuff also) but seems I'm over the brain overload now#yay? i guess#also no one who actually studies medicine/brains/etc. yell at me abt wikipedia and like ''why are u studying that like that''#I'm just going through the wikipedia & reading article abstracts path; nothing serious#also my procrastination has reached inhuman levels like it's a full-time job now#bc I have like a chill week's worth of work to do and then I've done the courses for my bachelor's degree#but sending in that ''heyy i'm done with the courses let me graduate''-thing fills me up with sO MUCH anxiety & dread I'm working so slow#now (even tho couldn't send that in for like a month bc gotta first wait the courses to be graded and stuff so in actuality I should#not be slowing down even a bit bc I need to finally be done with this damn degree asap; gotta move on and should've ages ago (it's actually#super bad how late I'm with it (1.5 mf years jesus christ; I'm not even like a little bit proud abt getting a degree anymore like I'm sorta#just embarrassed if I have to tell ppl like ''yea I graduated'' bc dude ?? only now?? u were supposed to be done with that 1.5year#ago what have u been doing (fuck if I know) so I'm keeping it like ''if anyone asks'' basis)))#(the tags and parantheses started a life of their own lol sorry abt that)#studyblr#studyspo#bookblr#booklr#study#november 2024#2024
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Made a whole ass piece of Astarion + my tav but I didn't like how the whole thing turned out 🫠 so I'm cropping and sharing the only part of it I'm happy with
#the lines on this man. they're scratching my brain just the right way#bg3#astarion#astarion ancunin#baldur's gate 3#sleepyscribble#oc.nawen#nawen didn't turn out the way I wanted her to tho 😭 tragedy of the century#but I'm tired of struggling w this I'm letting it rest#maybe I'll revisit the idea later w a different pose/composition#the idea was to have the two in some really lavish silky robes and jewelry living their best lives post game. bc they deserve it <3
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