#bc i will wash. one of my spatulas.

[orcelito]

I finally took out my trash 💪 and now I'm gonna make some grilled cheeses. Im a grilled cheese bitch again

[immeasurablesaladagere]

hihi!! this is my first time sending a rq so i hope i am doing it right … also i am SO srry this is so weirdly specific and strange but i was wondering if I could request a drabble/fic abt agere chase where he like .. struggles with eating . like hes got ritualistic rules abt it, gets freaked out/scared of certain foods, and feels rlly nauseous after eating but (insert cg) makes sure he eats and helps him calm down after (even though it’s super hard for him .)

(cg house or wilson maybe?? or both??? im not sure ..)

Ah, a fear after my own heart. Based this off some of my own fears about food, specifically chicken bc sjsdfhsj it's just one of those things y'know?

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Word Count: 1377

Summery: Chase has a fear of eating chicken he hasn’t cooked himself and is worried he’ll get food poisoning, and his anxiety gives him a tummy ache. Wilson helps him calm down.

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“Supper’s ready!”

Chase gasped and scrambled to clean up his toys. He was starving, and he didn’t know what Wilson had made for dinner, but it smelled really good. 

He sat down at the table in front of his jungle placemat with his name on it. It was just him and Wilson for dinner tonight because House was called back to the hospital for their case. He wanted to go too, but House made him stay because he was already small. Wilson said they’d have to save some dinner for him in the fridge, but leftovers were never as good once they were in the fridge. And they could go bad in there and get all gross.

A bowl of pasta was set in front of him. 

“Here you go. I hope you like chicken Alfredo!”

Chicken? He stared at the little strips of chicken in the sauce, and his stomach flip-flopped. He hadn’t seen Wilson cook the chicken. Did he cook it in big pieces, or did he cut it up? If he didn’t cut them up then there was a bigger chance wasn’t cooked all the way, and then he’d get sick. But he didn’t want to be rude, because Wilson made him a nice dinner and was looking after him, so he smiled and used his manners like he was supposed to.

“Thank you, Wilson.”

He took a forkful of just the noodles and took a bite. Did Wilson wash the spatula while he was cooking it to get rid of the raw chicken germs? What if he didn’t and now the whole meal had raw chicken germs in it? He’d already taken a bite, was he going to get sick now?

The noodles felt heavy in his tummy. Could chicken make you sick that fast? Big-Chase didn’t think so, but he wasn’t so sure.

He took another bite, still no chicken. It tasted good, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the chicken and it was making him feel icky. Wilson’s gonna notice you’re not eating it. 

What about the counters? What if chicken juice got on the counter and wasn’t cleaned up, and then it got on Wilson’s hands, or the parsley, or a spoon?

He picked at a piece with his fork to check the colour inside. White, like it was supposed to be. Wilson’s a doctor. It’s probably safe. He put the piece in his mouth and swallowed it as quickly as possible before his brain could make him want to spit it out. It felt like a rock going down to his tummy.

But even smart people could mess up food sometimes, his brain whispered. His fingers felt shaky around the fork.

“Robbie? What’s up?” 

Chase startled. Wilson was looking right at him. 

“Do you not like chicken Alfredo?”

He must have been staring at his food too long, and now Wilson thought he didn’t like his dinner. He felt guilty. He did like it, but his stomach was still doing flippy-flops and it didn’t feel very nice.

“No, I like it.” He said quickly. He took another bite to show him, then felt even more guilty when he felt himself wince. 

Wilson chuckled softly. “Buddy, you could’ve just told me. Do you want me to make you something else?”

“No, I really do like it, it’s just… chicken.”

“You don’t like the chicken?”

Chase shook his head, cheeks turning pink.

“You’ve gotta help me out here, bud.”

He poked a piece of chicken with his fork. “Just… don’t wanna get sick.”

Wilson looked at him like his face was a puzzle. He shrunk into his chair. “Get sick..? Oh, you’re worried it wasn’t cooked all the way? I made sure it was before I added the sauce, it’s okay to eat.” He assured. He didn’t sound upset, but Chase felt bad anyway.

“No, but…” He struggled to explain, “I always cook it by myself, jus’ to make sure. M’sorry.”

Wilson shook his head and took the bowl. “Don’t be sorry, that’s okay. I can make you something else. How does a peanut butter and jam sandwich sound?”

That did sound better, even if it wasn’t a dinner food and he was probably already gonna get sick anyway. He nodded. “But, um… could you please… wash your hands?” He trailed off sheepishly.

Wilson smiled. “Sure, no problem.”

A few minutes later he had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a clean plate. He didn’t feel very hungry anymore, but he made Wilson make him a whole new dinner so he wasn’t gonna be rude this time. He ate the whole thing while Wilson finished his pasta, and by the last bite his tummy really wasn’t happy with him. 

“You can go play again, I’ll get the dishes.” Wilson said.

Usually he wanted to help, but he didn’t feel good anymore, so he just nodded and went back to the living room. He grabbed his stuffed puppy and sat down on the couch, curling up with one arm around his stuffy and the other wrapped around his stomach. Please don’t be sick, I don’t wanna be sick. He buried his face into his stuffy and tried to take a deep breath. His whole body felt wobbly even though he was sitting still.

He sat like that for a long time, trying to focus to the sound of Wilson doing the dishes instead of his tummy. Everything felt rocky like a boat and he was starting to feel like he might puke. He was definitely sick, he had to be. He whined.

Eventually the sounds of dishes stopped and Wilson came to find him.

“Robbie? What’s wrong?”

Chase swallowed thickly. “‘Don’t feel good…” He mumbled.

Wilson made a cooing noise. “No?”

“D-Does that mean m’sick?”

“Well, maybe, but I think we should run a differential, right? See what else it could be first?” Wilson gently rubbed his shoulder. He leaned into it. “Have you been feeling like this all night, or just since you ate?”

“Jus’ since dinner.” Another wave of nausea washed over him and he squeezed his stuffy harder. “Wilsoonnn…”

“I know, I know, it’s okay. You were shaking a little during supper. Were you maybe feeling scared about getting sick?”

Chase nodded. He felt so awful, he just wanted to cry. “M-Mhm.” 

“Alright, shh. I want to try something, okay? Can you sit up a little bit?”

“No, no, I don’ wanna…” He whimpered. He would be sick, he knew he would. He knew he wasn’t being good, not eating his supper and not listening, but he didn’t care. He just felt so icky and he wanted it all to go away.

“Okay. Then you just stay like that, but we’re going to take some big, deep breaths okay? Follow me.” Wilson took a long breath in and held it, waiting for him. He tried his best to copy, and then they both let it out. “Good, now do it again.”

Wilson kept telling him to do the deep breaths over and over. In, then hold, then out again. At first all the air in his belly made him feel worse, but slowly, the more breaths he did, the more his tummy calmed down and he didn’t feel like being sick anymore. Wilson explained that his brain was making him feel sick because it was scared, and that it was trying to protect him so he shouldn’t be mad at it, but he still thought that was a really mean way to protect him.

He let out a big yawn and released the death-grip on his stuffy. “Sorry, puppy…” He whispered to it.

“Are you ready for bed, kiddo?” Wilson asked. 

He nodded. He was really sleepy.

Wilson grabbed the folded blanket on the end of the couch and fluffed it out over him as he laid down.

“There you go. I’ll leave the hall light on for you, and I’ll be in my room if you need anything, okay?”

“Mhm… Mum?”

“Yes?”

“Sorry I didn’t eat dinner. It was good, promise.”

Wilson smiled softly and gave him a gentle pat on the head. “Thank you, but it’s really okay. Besides, more for House when he comes home, right?”

“‘Guess so. Goodnight, Mummy.”

“Goodnight, Robbie. Sweet dreams.”

[blizzardfluffykpop]

Skatepark

Summary: Your boyfriends pick you up from your bakery to go to the skatepark together. 

Oneshot

Fluff, Established Relationship au

TW: Skateboarding Injuries (cleaning wounds & blood)

Word Count: 2,566

Accountant! Hyunjae X Baker! Reader X Skate Shop Owner! Eric (Milric) 

[A/n: So, Eric posted some photos from the US tour on 7/31 (which I bawled to but vv unrelated) and saw Eric looking like a skater dude next to Hyunjae who looked like he worked a high-paying office job on the curb. And originally, it was just a little silly thing for me to dream up to Kebbi about two of her biases. And I made the reader a baker bc that was fun. And if it wasn’t for her bringing up baker! Younghoon. This idea might have not made it outside of our chat. So, a very special credit and thank you to @jinkoh for inspiring the fic and helping further it.]

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Younghoon looks up from the counter he's wiping down when the bell rings above the door. He looks over and sees Hyunjae and Eric walking over. He gives them a big smile as he throws the rag over his shoulder, “Oh! (Y/n)'s in the back making blueberry muffins! But I'll let them know you're here!” They both nod as he heads to the back, where you’re setting the last wrapper into the pan. You tell yourself, “Okay, last pan!” as you start pouring the batter into each tin when Younghoon goes, “Hey, your boys are here.” Your eyes widen with excitement as you quickly scrape the bowl with the spatula. “Really?!” He laughs, “Yeah.” You put the bowl down, “Can you tell them I'll be just a moment? I gotta switch the muffins around.” He nods and leaves. You get an oven mitt, grab the cooked muffins, and put them on the counter before setting the last tray in the spot it left. You pick up the hot tray off the counter and put it on the rack before removing the oven mitt and washing your hands. You wipe your hands dry before retiring your apron, leaving the kitchen. 

As you come through the swinging doors, you ask, “Younghoon?” And he perks up, “Yeah?” “You can take care of the muffins, right?” “Of course!” “And then after the last one goes on the rack-” He cuts you off, “I get to close the shop?” You roll your eyes as you nod, “Make sure they all head into the cooler before you leave, okay?” “Alright, now shoo before they eat all of our honey lemon cookies!” You look over to see your two lovers eating two cookies each. You laugh before grabbing yourself two. Before walking out from behind the counter and wishing Younghoon a good day. You join your lovers, “Okay, where are we off to?” Eric grabs your hand eagerly, and in between bites, he says, “To the skate park!” Hyunjae holds Eric’s hand, guiding you three to his car as you eat your cookies. You brush off the crumbs before getting in and sitting in the passenger seat, knowing full well that Eric was going to sprawl out with his skateboard next to him. And sure enough, you watch as he does in the rearview. You buckle in as Hyunjae shifts into drive, pulling out of the parallel parking spot. You ask Hyunjae, “So, how’s corporate?” He grins, “It was an easy day for once!” Eric gasps, “No way!” He nods, “Yeah, I got to sit back and stare at my computer all day.” And Hyunjae asks you how the bakery was, “Well, I was mainly just making muffins today for Muffin Monday.” You can hear Eric’s excitement before you see it, “Any mango?” “Have you checked the fridge?” He gasps, “Really?” “Yeah, I made a special batch for the three of us the day before.” Hyunjae looks back in the rearview mirror at him, “You didn’t eat one of yours yet?” He pouts, “No, I had to run to the skate shop... Haknyeon lost his key. So, I didn’t even have time to check the fridge.” You smile, “That means we all get mango muffins for dessert!” He grins, and you ask him how his work was, “It was easy, just mainly kids coming in for new wheels today.” You scoff, “Really? You guys had such easy jobs today.” Hyunjae instantly retorts, “As if making muffins isn’t the easiest for you…” You laugh as you surrender. 

Hyunjae parks the car, and the three of you get out, “Do either of you want to skate today?” You shake your head, “I’m whooped from muffin making.” And he nods, but Hyunjae goes, “Yeah, only if you skate with me!” Eric grins, “This is why I always come prepared!” He pulls out a second board, handing Hyunjae his spare before grabbing his hand and rushing them into the park together. You shake your head at them, the two always eager to play. You sit on the bench and watch as Eric helps Hyunjae get into all his gear before Eric puts only a helmet on. And you listen, “You remember what I taught you, right?” Hyunjae nods and gets on the board with ease. Eric encourages him, and they both wave goodbye to you before heading over to the bowl. You watch them drop in, with Hyunjae letting out a little yelp as he does. The two carve around the bowl while you stretch out, letting your joints finally rest after continuously using them for the past six hours. 

While Hyunjae is still rocking in the bowl, Eric pops out and skates over to you, making a quick stop in front of you. “Do you want anything, babe?” You smile, “A water would be nice.” He smiles as he skates over to the vending machine and gets you one. He returns, kicking up his board and sitting beside you to watch Hyunjae skate, “Here you go~” “Thanks, love.” He gives you a kiss, and you two talk for a second. When you hear a little shout of, “Er-Eric!” You peek over and see Hyunjae struggling to get the momentum up again to pop out of the bowl, and you both let out a little laugh. Before Eric goes, “Duty calls!” You shake your head as Eric raises his hand to the sky as if he’s the skateboarding superman and drops in. You peer over to watch him help Hyunjae get the speed back up and help him out of the bowl before popping back onto his board. 

When Hyunjae shakily makes it out of the bowl, you pat the bench, “Come on, you deserve it…” He laughs as he removes his gear before falling onto the bench beside you. After you take another sip of your water, you ask, “Water?” He hums and takes the bottle from you before drinking some. He puts it on the ground for the two of you, and you both watch Eric. “You did well in the bowl this time!” He grins, “I’m improving.” You hum, “I think so.” 

“I’m surprised you didn’t want to practice that new trick you mastered.” 

“You mean the Ollie?” 

“Yeah.” 

“It’s so fun, but I’m too tired, honey.” 

“Promise us, we’ll see you be cool next time?” 

“Promise.” 

When another voice from beside you say, “We’re holding you to that!” That’s when you see Eric standing beside the two of you. “How did you get here so quietly?” He smirks, “I’m a pro.” You laugh, “I guess so. But I promise.” And the two of them grin and tell you, “Good.” Eric smiles and goes, “Okay, now you guys gotta watch~” You both nod and watch as he heads to the other side of the skatepark, hops up onto a rail, gliding across it. And when it ends, he lands a flip off of it. Hyunjae mutters, “He’s so cool…” You laugh as you agree, “He is.” 

You watch as he heads to the cloverleaf bowl, his favorite. He blows you each a kiss and waits for you two to catch and keep them before dropping in, causing you both to giggle. You watch as he comes back up, doing a 180° turn. He picks up speed and skates around the edge of the cloverleaf. His grin makes you both happy as he rides around before heading back into it. He pops out and lands an ollie before skating along the edge of another piece of concrete and pop shoves off of it. 

You lean your head against Hyunjae’s shoulder as you watch Eric skate around. And ask, “Did you get your lunch?” He kisses the top of your head before answering, “I never leave home without it.” “What did Eric write you?” And he sings, “Sting like a bee, honey~.” You both giggle, and he asks, “What about yours?” You laugh as you remember yours, “Make your treats full of love, love.” Which makes him laugh, and you ask, “Do you think Eric grabbed our lunch note?” Hyunjae hums and goes, “Let’s find out.” “Babe! What did our note say?!” And Eric skids to a halt as he grins, “Skate on, Babe!” You both grin, and he does too, before pushing off to continue skating around, using the empty park to his advantage. You three were the only ones at the park today, but considering it was an early afternoon on a Sunday, it wasn’t surprising. Hyunjae rests his arm around your shoulder as he watches, “I wonder if Eric will show us any new tricks today.” You hum, “Maybe?” You watch him do a few kickflips before he drops back into the cloverleaf. 

It all happens so fast. One second Eric’s up, catching his board in his hand with a giant grin on his face as he spins in the air. And the next, his board slips out from under his feet, and he starts falling without it. You both watch in horror as Eric lands on his side. Since you’re the only ones in the park, you both can hear the echo of his shirt ripping as he presumably skids down and his pained groans. You both spring into action, rushing over to the cloverleaf, and find Eric clutching his knee and arm. You call out, “Nothing broke!?” As Hyunjae slides down into the bowl. You hear his voice break as he answers, “No…” You nod, “I’m gonna get the car!” Hyunjae throws his key up to you. And you catch it and run over to the car, pulling it up to the gate that leads out. 

You pop open the back seat door, and while Hyunjae carries Eric over, you grab the two boards and water you three left behind. When you get back to the car, you put the boards on the passenger side floorboard before hopping into the front seat. You check the rearview mirror as you click your seatbelt in and see Eric’s face shoved into Hyunjae’s stomach as he cries. Your heart sinks as you get your mind into gear and quickly drive the three of you home. You get out first, opening Hyunjae’s door before going, “I’ll meet you two upstairs?” Hyunjae nods as he gathers Eric in his arms. You rush up the stairs and unlock your apartment door, leaving it unlocked so Hyunjae can easily open it. 

You get out the first aid kit and clean your hands, prepping for a bloody and crying Eric. It wasn’t often that he got injured since he’s been skating since he was a kid. But when he did, it was messy. And this time was no different. Hyunjae carries him into the bathroom, and you hear him softly coo, “It’s okay, babe…” He sets him on the bathroom counter, and you give him a small smile, “Let’s get you all cleaned up, babe…” He sniffles as his tears stream down his cheeks, and he nods. You peel his ruined shirt off, and he gasps from the sting, and you quickly apologize, “Sorry…” He nods, and thankfully it’s mostly surface level on his left upper arm. 

When you grab the disinfectant spray, he recoils, “It’s not going to hurt, is it?” You shake your head, “It never has before…” He gulps, “Positive?” You nod, and you spray it over his wound, and he winces even though it isn’t painful. You clean it up with some cotton pads, carefully go over the deeper cuts. You start bandaging him up, and he lets out a little sigh as you finish up. But as you go to clean his knee, his body shivers as he lets out a sob, and you look at him, “S-sorry. It just stung when you… when you moved the air in the room.” You nod, careful not to make another gust, “It’s okay, babe. No need to apologize. I’m going to spray your knee, okay?” He breathes in deeply, trying to control his tears as you spritz the disinfectant. You notice how deep it is and look up at him again. You ask, “Did you land mainly on your knee?” He nods and hisses as you wipe away the dried blood. And he's a bawling mess all over again as you patch him up. You look at Hyunjae and see him leaning against the doorway, watching you two. He gives you a fond smile as you clean Eric's wound, and you smile back over at him. You start dressing his wound and kiss Eric’s bandage knee. Hyunjae comes over and kisses Eric’s bandaged arm, “We gotta kiss it all better, right?” Eric sniffles, “Y-Yeah…” 

Hyunjae leaves the bathroom and comes back with a soft shirt and sweatpants. “You want help into them?” He nods, and you both carefully take off his shorts and help him into the soft sweatpants, careful not to rub against his newly bandaged knee. Hyunjae helps him slip the shirt over his head and carefully over his wrapped arm. When his fluffy head pops out, Hyunjae and you share a look before kissing his cheeks. And his ears turn red, and you tease, “Now you blush, babe?” He pouts and lets out another sniffle, and you both can’t help but kiss his pout away. “Would a mango muffin make you feel all better?” He sniffles before nodding, “That would be nice.” You both help him into the living room as he lets out little hisses of pain, walking over to the couch. You sit beside him as Hyunjae gets the muffins, and Eric cuddles up to you. 

Eric leans his head against your chest, letting out a sniffle. He says, “My left side hurts bad, love…” You gasp as you run your fingers through his hair, “Did you scrape that too?” He shakes his head, “No… just in general.” You sigh, “Oh… I know, babe.” You kiss the top of his head as Hyunjae returns, “A muffin for each of us~” You take yours, and Eric happily eats his with the mango juice Hyunjae got him. 

As the three of you finally relax, you idle into easy conversations. “You were so cute, blubbering with tears.” And Eric scoffs, “I was not crying.” You laugh, “Oh, you so were.” He shakes his head, “Nuh-huh.” Hyunjae smirks, ruffling Eric’s hair, “You’re cute when you cry~” And Eric pouts, “I wasn’t…” You both giggle at his antics. You place a kiss on his cheek while Hyunjae places a kiss on his forehead. He scoffs again and crosses his arms over his chest. The action causing him to hiss in pain, but you both knew what he wanted. So, you both roll your eyes at him, and you grab his chin and bring him into a kiss. He sighs in contentment, and you both break away before Hyunjae quickly cuts in, pulling Eric’s chin towards him to kiss. When they part, you pout, “Where’s my kiss… I haven’t gotten a real one all day...” And Hyunjae laughs at you before grasping your chin and pulling you in for a kiss. When you pull away, Eric’s pouting again, “I want my injury cuddles...” You both grin at your scraped up lover, and settle happily around him, careful to not brush against his scrapes. And he settles further into the couch cushions and into your guys’ comforting holds.

[chronicallyblogged]

My friend was curious how the world was alive to me. She asked what a spatula would say. So I told her.

Spatulas aren't very defined and tend to speak more in notions than words. If they get knocked to the ground or are left dirty they are sad and upset. I have multiple spatulas and sometimes one in particular wants to be used. Sometimes one wants to make a certain food, even if i don't want that food. Or to be washed again, even if clean. Or they will want to go in the strawberry holder instead of the cow holder and vice versa.

Then she asked about art. So I told her.

Art can be anything from vague notions suggesting colors or shapes to fully formed pieces speaking to me about what they'd like to look like or where they want to be displayed. What they think about a show or what I'm doing.

Then she went quiet. Then changed the subject.

I think being met with discomfort and mini rejections like these is part of why I learned to eat my feelings. Other people don't understand that I view something as alive so when I react as if they are they get upset and shut me down. Eventually I just learned to shut myself down. For example my therapist doesn't think I allow myself to feel grief. But when you befriend your headphones. Play their favorite music. Take them with you to see the world even if you know they won't be played. Then someone steps on them by accident and they die you aren't permitted to grieve. If you grieve its an overreaction, it's a guilt trip, it's going to far. So eventually you kill the ability to grieve, to feel empathy, to form healthy attachments.

I haven't shared this with my therapist in full detail bc I dont want to be shut down. Even psych professionals don't get this. The only one who has is my psychiatric nurse and she understands I enjoy the depth this gives my world and do not need to be medicated out of it. That that would be more distressing. I probably will tell my therapist soon though.

[xoshepard]

me and my gf went to the grocery last week and i needed a new spatula but they didn't have the type i was looking for, but i ended up buying some new frying pans bc my old one has been sticking when i make omelets, and i asked her to wash them but i only had brillo pads which we were both 😬 about bc that's not rly the type of thing you wanna wash these nonstick pans with

separately, i teased her about using my hair ties but then i explained that i was probably losing them on my own in actuality and i just didn't like using new ones bc they put a lot of tension on my hair

i have a cold rn so i asked her to bring me some supplies yesterday and as she was leaving she was like "oh here" and gave me a bag with a spatula that was exactly the size i was looking for, a pack of sponges that i can wash the nonstick frying pans with, and a pack of bigger hairties for thick hair so that it won't tug on my scalp :') not to mention 2 different types of dayquil and nyquil and two different types of tea

also i said "amongus like a fungus" twice in a row in voice (for reasons that make a little sense in context but not much) with her just now and she quoted a meme about speedrunning the stages of grief bc your partner said some dumb shit and you're realizing you still want to fuck them LMFAO

[the-kr8tor]

RAW EGGS?? DON'T GIVE HIM SALMONELLA WHEN HE'S HUNGOVER Daily Hobie HC! I'm really nervous cus I've been invited to a sleepover- so maybe maybe not there may not be a daily hobie hc tomorrow..we'll see:.) Baking for Hobie is always chaos. It's about to be Yuri's birthday soon, and you wanted to bake a cake for her, with Hobie joining to be a menace. Since you were attempting to make a chocolate cake, you gave Hobie the instructions as he watched you set up the equipments. His eyes briefly skimmed over the instructions, before tossing them over his shoulder playfully, claiming that you both didnt need it. Hobie watched over your shoulder as you mixed the batter, reading out the instructions to make it. While you asked him for the next ingredient, he'd read out in a monotoned voice to 'let your boyfriend called hobie brown eat some of the batter'. Unfortunately, his attempts failed. However, his luck spiked when you put him in charge of making the icing while you pre-heated the oven. He shamelessly would scoop up some icing with his fingers and pop them into his mouth, enjoying the sweet chocolate flavor. Hobie scooped up a dollop of icing with one finger, beckoning you over. Holding you against him, he chuckles as you try to fight him away and failing as he gently spreads the icing along your lips like lipstick. Before you could lick any off, he quickly presses his lips to yours, licking some of the icing off of your lips, humming at the added sweetness. As he pulled away, he licked his lips with a chuckle, holding you close as you held a lovestruck expression on your face. You had to practically pull Hobie away from the icing, or else he would've eaten it all when you poured it into the piping bag, the cake already in the oven. However, to satiate his craving for sugar, you quickly thrust the spatula towards him, allowing him to lick off the icing. While the two of you wait for the cake to finish baking in the oven, you teasingly lean over and lick some of the icing off the spatula, earning a pout from Hobie as he turns away, keeping the icing for himself. He stops himself from completely melting upon hearing your laughter as he slowly turned around, licking up the last of the icing from the spatula, before washing it. Once the cake was ready, this was now going to be the most difficult part, since Hobie had already proven himself to have no control when it came to the icing. Coating the cake in a layer of icing was surprisingly tame, with Hobie watching and spinning the cake for you. However, when you begin piping the swirls, was when Hobie decided he wanted to nick some. His fingers expertly swipe the topping swirls off, quickly putting it inside his mouth and looking at you with an innocent expression. Giving into his antics with a sigh, he chuckles, thinking he'll finally get some of that sweet icing. He feigns offence as you suddenly pipe a line of icing down his nose, which was messy as he instinctively scrunched up his nose in response. As revenge, Hobie leaned close to your neck, before rubbing off the icing from the bridge of his nose to your chin, smirking towards you as he swallows a laugh at your slow turn. Let's just hope Yuri doesn't mind the spiral toppings on her cake getting more messy as it went on around...(Hobie's fault) -🐦‍⬛

HAHAHAHAHHAHAH I HEARD THAT IT WORKS FOR HUNGOVERS!!!

Daily Hobie HC!! ❤️

Ooh have fun! I'm sure you'll have a great time!!

*inhales* oh this is some good shit right here

GAHHHHH WHY CAN'T THIS HAPPEN TO ME I WANT TO BAKE A CAKE WITH MY BELOVED PUNK

LMAOO 'let your boyfriend called Hobie Brown eat some of the batter' that's so real of him

It's all fun and games until he ruins my cupcake swirl. me:

That's alright tho i forgive him bc he's too cute to be mad at for a long time lols

Hobie putting icing on R's lips then kissing it of them is 😳😍😍🥰🥴🥴

BAHAHAHAHHA him nudging the chocolate off his nose to R's chin! I'd retaliate by squeezing the rest of the icing on him lmaoo

Yuri won't mind as long as you don't tell her why it's messed up!

Food fight!!!

[thepringlesofblood]

banana pancakes: 1 banana, 2 eggs, dash of cinnamon (to taste), salt & vanilla optional. ripe or overripe bananas work best but if its edible it'll be fine.

smoosh banana into banana paste w fork (in a bowl but it doesn't have to be a mixing bowl it can be a normal bowl)

stir in eggs thoroughly

add cinnamon (i usually do a heavy pinch/1 tsp but its up to you)

if you got em, add a drop of vanilla and a dash of salt

cook in frying pan like you'd cook smaller-than-average pancakes.

CAUTION: they are much more delicate, and stick more easily - use a lot of butter/oil, even on a non-stick pan, and be careful when flipping to get as much of it as you can on the spatula before you flip it.

I usually eat these w a small-medium amount of butter w/out maple syrup bc they're so sweet naturally. (for comparison - when i get normal pancakes i smother that shit in butter & maple syrup. these babies actually stand on their own really well)

bam. banana pancakes.

gluten free, dairy free, nut free, soy free, one bowl one pan one spatula one fork, it's 3 things and if times are desperate you don't really need the 3rd one (cinnamon).

variants/tips under the cut

tumeric - add a lil pinch of tumeric (1/8 tsp) and a dash of salt and black pepper. if your spatula's white or you put them on a white plastic plate it WILL stain tho. my mom does this one bc her doctor wants her to have more tumeric in her diet and i gotta say its pretty tasty.

oatmeal: add 3-4 tablespoons (≈1/4 cup) oatmeal, ideally quick-cooking or other small grain oats. gives them a bit more body, especially if you only have time to make one thing for breakfast and you need some grain to start your day. not as flavorful but gets the job done - all 3 major food groups are accounted for (protein - egg, fruits/veggies - banana, carbs/grain - oats)

other spices: if you don't have cinnamon, no worries, just be sure to add a lil salt. other things that can go well in here include: vanilla, nutmeg, cardamom (but really only a tiny pinch), cloves (again, tiny pinch), a light drizzle of molasses, almond extract (tiny tiny drop), tumeric & black pepper (see above). dried ginger doesn't tend to go well unless paired with something stronger, and sesame seeds/poppy seeds get burnt before the the pancake is actually done cooking.

halving this recipe is very easy if you only have half a banana or one egg! that said bc it's only two things, you really can't substitute anything except spices.

mix-ins like chocolate chips and blueberries tend to not work out bc the pancakes are so thin - if you're going to be mixing anything in, make sure it's very finely ground or chopped.

you could use an immersion blender or food processors or something to smoosh up the bananas but i dont have one so i can't vouch for that technique. i just do fork and it works great, plus you can wash off and reuse the fork to eat the pancakes w once you're done, save on dishes.

don't add sugar. bananas, especially ripe ones, are sweet enough, trust me.

Do any of u have decent recipes that are like 5 ingredients (not including spices) and take 45 mins or less to prepare i gotta stop eating sandwiches for dinner

[cherryblossms]

i'm honestly at my wits end rn.

my brother, whom is 30 years old, has taken to lying to my mom about me. he used a brand new spatula that's specifically for fish to flip his eggs a couple days ago, left it on the hot pan and it melted the handle. it's a spatula that he's used a couple times, each time i've told him not to use it because it's for something specific, not for what he's trying to use it for, but he doesn't care. so i messaged him on discord to tell him to stop using that spatula, it's for fish, and he melted the handle of it. all he said back was 'oops'.

so while he's out there cooking eggs again and my mom is in the kitchen with him, he starts in on how he couldn't find a normal spatula ( they all had been cleaned and were in the dishwasher to be put away in the morning, he just had to open it to see them ) so he used that fish one. then he goes 'and liz freaked out on me, yelling at me, blah blah blah'. so i had to go out there and show my mom the receipts and say 'is this freaking out? am i yelling? it's not, right. he's lying'. bc of course i have to, everybody knows i do not like being accused of things i haven't done. and my brother just goes dead silent.

he's been accusing me of a lot of things lately bc he doesn't want to take the blame for leaving messes, not throwing his garbage away, using dishes or pots and pans without washing them, etc. but like... i don't lie??? i'm almost 33, i'm not a little kid who's afraid of getting in trouble. i have no fucking reason to lie??? it's also his garbage that he's saying he threw away but somehow it's laying on the floor in the kitchen, as if i took it out of the garbage and just tossed it on the floor. like that doesn't even make sense??? make it make sense, pls.

and my mom just says he's spent the last 5 years living alone, he's used to doing things his own way ( but she'll still yell at him when she's reached a certain point ) and i'm like... well, yeah, i get that but he's also had fire control go into his room numerous times in those five years because his on campus dorm/apt was a mess and a fire hazard and he was almost fined for the messes he leaves and ended up getting a huge ass fine when he graduated bc of the state of his apt when he left. he lives in our home now, he needs to do things how we do things and keep things clean and clean up after himself and not just say 'oh, i'll do it later'. if i have to get yelled at for wanting to eat while my food is still hot instead of washing the pots and pans i used to cook before, then he needs to be held accountable for his laziness, too.

i am just so tired of his excuses and his laziness.

[nathank77]

11/16/24

6:53 p.m

She refused to go the hospital thank God. They got her in a chair and they told her if she falls again she's getting taken by force....

While she was walking around, Riley licked her sandwich like crazy. Funny enough she didn't actually eat it or steal it but she was licking it. I told my mother and told her not to eat it and that I would make her a sandwich bc Riley eats her fucking poop. And she ate it anyways.

I took a shower finally and got my last load of laundry in the washer. I'm never going to get my poison ivy clothes washed. Maybe next laundry day. I want to do them last for obv reasons.. but by the time I can wash them, it'll be like 8 p.m and I cannot fucking wait to take xanax and fucking go to sleep. And I'm not getting up to pee my body can go fuck itself.

My hallucination has been so much worse today bc of my lack of sleep... I've hallucinated more since I woke up this morning to now than I have in 3 FUCKING MONTHS. At least... not getting enough sleep severely effects my fucking auditory hallucinations and it makes me want to throw myself off a fucking Cliff. You have no fucking idea how fucking bad it's been. It might as well be fucking March or even January for christ sake.

I just want to fucking sleep and my bladder can fuck itself. When I get 7 hours then we can fucking pee and lay there tossing and turning for 2 hours. I cannot afford to lose hours of sleep. If it was like this everyday I'd be fucking dead.

I found some bins and organized my room pretty nicely. I'm trying really hard to make my room the most roomy it's ever been. Like it's sorta a studio apartment. I have that area where I put my water bottles when I was buying them filled with water gallons, plates, bowls, bread, v8, spoons, etc. So it's hidden off in a corner.

But ever since Riley got here and I've had gloves everywhere... and shit everywhere bc i moved my Mouthwash and tooth brush in here bc I was worried liv was rubbing it on the toilet bowl or something after that weird snapple incident.... so my room became more and more cluttered.. obv I had that wire pit under my desk it's still not great but it's better and when I do finally game I'm going to make it look similar to how it was.

But I've had my gym clothes on my original Xbox and my going out clothes I've already worn on my dresser. And the gallon water the one I'm using sits on my other dresser... with my juice.... so it got a little cluttered bc of the gym and Riley. Also with my sponge sits in a cup next to my Xbox bc I don't want my mother fucking using it... that's why i bought my own to wash my own dishes which has helped me work on one of my ocd issues... I just wash my pan and spatula.. but I have no where to put my sponge other than in a cup next to my xbox...

It's not perfect. And I swear once I get my capture card out and hook some shit up it's going to be more messy... but I also found another bin and I'm going to put my gym clothes (since I dont sweat there anymore since I stopped running) and my going out already worn but still clean clothes in the bin next to my Xbox so they aren't spread out all over my room making everything messy..

I also grabbed another bin to put my gloves in. All my vinyl gloves and my hyper tough gloves (minus the poison ivy ones that are stored in my room under a piece of furniture bc I dont know what to do with them.)

The other problem is since Riley got here I've been using my laundry basket that was holding my old glasses I was going to donate. I've been using that as a laundry basket which makes my room look messy... eventually anyways... and I had to move my old glasses to my storage hanger in my closet which is the only shelf I have left unfortunately... but I won't be getting new clothes any time soon bc I'm fucking poor. Eventually I'll donate the glasses and get new shirts and spread it out a little... and if she ever leaves I'm start using the hamper in the bathroom again. I'm afraid she's going to pee on it or something if she breaches my barricade.

I also got to get washable nitrate gloves or rubber gloves so I have gloves i can use around the house.. the hyper tough gloves you can feel moisture through.... I need about two pairs so I can fucking use one for cleaner dirty things and one for super dirty things.. and then I dont need gloves you throw away.. I've went through 300 pairs in less than a month and trust me I try to use them in a efficient way but ocd is hard to live with...

Anyways look at how awesome my room looks in the area I was able to fix up, NO MORE WELCHES JUICE POP BOX AS A FUCKING WIRE BOX 😁

My dresser is a disaster but I'm working on it...

[cyansbakery]

Fluffy hotcakes

Take as many eggs as you want, depends on how much you wanna make. Separate whites from yolks. I do this by hand bc its so much easier (and satisfying) to just roll the yolks a lil bit in my palms and then wash my hands. Also they get separated so much better. I see so many baking videos and shit where theres still white on the yolks and it drives me insane.

Leave the whites for later and whisk up those yolks. Add as much vegetable oil as it will need to double the volume. Like if you got a cup of egg yolks add a cup of oil. Dont be stingy with that shit. This is for shitty and old pans. It will save your pans. It also adds moisture to the mix so like even if you got those fancy expensive non stick pans, the oil goes in anyway.

Add the same exact amount of sugar. It doesnt really matter if its white or brown sugar. Sugar is sugar in this house. If its sweet, pour it in babeyyy. (Powdered sugar dont work tho, that shit got starch in it, will fuck up the batter).

Choose your milk. Any milk works. (Yes, breastmilk too, if thats what you want). This recipe has eggs so it aint vegan but it Can be Lactose Free. I use vegetable milk or lactose free milk for everything bc i dont like shitting myself, thank you very much.

Start sifting in three times as much flour. This is a 1:1:1:3:3 ratio, folks. One cup of yolks? One cup of oil, one cup of sugar, three cups of flour, three cups of milk. Im making up the measurements as i write. I dont measure shit when i do this, this is for your convinience, not mine.

Whisk up that flour in small increments to avoid clumps and add your milk as you go. Cup of flour, whisk, cup of milk, whisk, cup of flour, you get the gist.

Leave it to rest. Get those whites back and whisk them up till they form peaks. We're making sugarless meringue. Dont do the bowl upside down trick, its the sugar that makes that not slide right off the bowl, check if it stays on the whisk. If you wack if against the bowl and some of it stays stuck youre good. If theres still some liquidy shit on the bowl keep going. Its gotta be all foamy.

Check the batter, tt should be thicc but it should fall easily from the whisk when you get it out. Kinda like glue. Imagine you're whisking up glue and how slow it wouod fall from your whisk but wouldnt be stuck in it. Thats how its gotta be babes.

Wash your whisk and put it away you dont need it anymore. With a laddle nudge the whites into the batter and softy fold it in.

Once mixed youre ready to start laddling up into your pan. Dont move that shit, let it fluff up and once it stops bubbling use a spatula to flip it over.

Bone apple teeth

[sureuncertainty]

hmmm it’s a feeling really Bad about the friends i lost back in May kinda night again

[knockknockknockingonhootysdoor]

Apple Pie Recipe:

Listen, a big portion of you voted for it so now you get recipe. @yardsards Tagging u specifically bc u like recipe

Ingredients

All Purpose Flour

White Granulated Sugar

Dark Brown Sugar

Unsalted Butter

Salt [Unrelated to Butter]

Cold Water

Apples [Between 6 to 8 depending on size]

You can use traditional Granny Smith Apples. I prefer Honeycrisps or Jonagolds.

Clover Honey

Date Syrup [Optional]

Lemon/Lime Or Bottled Lemon/Lime juice

Cinnamon

Cardamom

Star Anise

Nutmeg

Pumpkin Pie Spice [Optional]

Egg [Optional Wash]

You can use premade pie dough for this if you don't have the spoons for it, but I've included how to make a dough as well. Preheat your oven to 400°F before you do anything, please.

Pie Dough

1.5 Cups of AP flour in a bowl, add 1tsp of salt and 1 tblsp of white sugar into the bowl and whisk. Cut 2 sticks of butter into smaller cubes or thinner slices if its fairly hard, then scatter it into the bowl. As opposed to a whisk, use a rubber/silicone spatula to cut and mix the butter into the flour. Often I find using a clean hand to mix gives me the best results. Then add 1 cup more of flour and mix again, adding cold water as you are mixing the dough. I would estimate around 6 tblsp of water, but follow you heart and your dough's texture. It should hold itself together without crumbling. Once its to the correct texture, roll the dough into a ball, wrap it in saran and place in the fridge for abt an hour.

Filling

Wash and peel your apples [6 to 8]. I use baking soda to get any dirt off. Some ppl prefer the skin when having apple pie, but I dont lol. I cut them to about 1/2 sizes, but follow you heart, nothing needs to be perfect. You should be looking at roughly 4ish cups of apples. You just want to be able to fill a 9in Pyrex/Pie tray. Place ur cut apples in a large bowl so we can get to shmixing.

We are adding now 1/2 cup of white sugar, 2/3 cup of dark brown sugar, 1 tsp of Cinnamon, 1/4 tsp of Nutmeg, 2 shakes of Cardamom, 3 Shakes of Pumpkin Spice seasoning, and literally one tiny pinch of ground Star Anise.

I can not fucking emphasise enough how little Star Anise you need for this. Like a breath of Star Anise will be plenty. I grounded Star Anise in my coffee/spice grinder and it has never left it. Literally any more than one pinch of Star Anise, you are looking at an apple licorice pie. Please learn from my mistakes.

In a separate little bowl, combine 1 tblsp of Honey, 1/2 tblsp of Date Syrup, and 2 to 4 tblsp of Lemon/Lime Juice.

Important to note: You're adding citrus to help the sticky of the honey/date syrup, but the date syrup isn't mandatory. You can put the juice and honey straight in with the apples. I just find it easier to mix like this.

Add this combination to ur apple mixture and let sit for about 5 minutes. You'll find the apples will get watery. At this point you are going to add 2 to 4 tblsp of AP Flour to the mix to thicken. Now ur filling is complete.

Pie Assembly

If you are making the dough yourself, take the dough ball out of the fridge and on a lightly floured surface, evenly split the dough in half. You are going to knead each piece about 15/20 times, before rolling it out to about 1/4 to 3/16th thickness. You can see how stretched out the dough is by placing it on the bottom of ur pie tin and seeing how to dough falls. Once the one piece is ready, place in the bottom of your pie. The other rolled pie dough you can cut into long strips to make your latticework. Or if you dont want to lattice you can just make it a flat piece.

Before the filling, I spread softened butter and a sprinkle of sugar at the bottom. Just for a littlw sweetness. Pour in your filling, and make sure it's not, like, too over filled. You want it to be no higher than the rim of the pyrex/pie tin etc. Either apply your lattice or the flat pie dough (be sure to cut little openings at the top).

You can either use butter to brush onto the top or you can use an egg wash (egg, beaten with 2 tblsp of either milk or water). After, sprinkle just a little bit of sugar and cinnamon on the top.

Place in the oven [That u preheated at 400°F] for approx 35 to 40 min. I set a timer for 30min and continuously check it after. You may find the filling will boil through your lattice. This is normal. You want to just make sure you don't burn the crust. You're looking for a golden color. Then remove and let it sit to cool for 10 minutes before serving hot with some vanilla ice cream, the best way to eat apple pie. ♡

[all-you-need-is-paul-mccartney]

The Couple Next Door IX (Roger Taylor x Female!Reader)

Find Part Eight Here

A/N: Surprise! I’m briefly back from a year-long Hiatus and I have one chapter for TCND, one for ATU AND a George Harrison one-shot I’m just gonna drop and then probably disappear again for another few months. I’m also finding it even more difficult to write for Roger seeing as I’ve kinda been listening to nothing but The Beatles for the last fifteen months and I really only hear Queen at work, so that’s gotta change. But I am very sorry about the LONG wait. I really do appreciate you guys, and I think you’ve all waited quite long enough to find out what happens next...

Summary: Roger and Y/N spend the morning taking care of Bobby; they talk a little more about the future and come to the conclusion they both want the same thing.

(Let your imagination run free, bc this can be either Canon or Borhap!Roger)

WARNINGS: Swearing is probably a given at this point, self-doubt, mentions/ suggestions of sex (advise you to avoid if you’re under 18), and I usually revise when I’m stoned so there’s probably some typos in here too, sorry.

Rated T for Teen-- (I feel like a video game rating smh)

Bobby was crying again.

Granted, it was about seven in the morning, and he did sleep for the rest of the night.

Roger was the last of the both of you to wake up; not because of the crying-- he didn't even hear the crying-- but he was wrapped up in the blankets with you, and you were trying to remove yourself from his grasp.

"Don't leave," Roger grumbled as he pulled you tightly against his chest, eyes remaining closed as you whispered back to him.

"But I have to go. Baby's cryin'."

Roger loosened his grip on you, much to his dismay, and you slipped from his embrace, leaving him cold, and alone.

"Come back, Baby..." He really hoped his gravelly plea would entice you to return from the nursery after tending to Bobby, and although you were probably against having sex in your friends' bed, he figured there was no harm in testing the waters.

"That's not how that works when you have a baby, Rog. The day starts now."

Roger groaned in protest, but as he rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, he revealed to himself that you were no longer in the room, and the baby's cries settled when he heard your voice float down the hall from the nursery room.

Roger, as much as he didn't want to, tossed the comforter off of his body, and after rising to his feet and combing his fingers through his hair, he shuffled out of the bedroom and made a beeline to the stairs.

He was glad he was familiar with John's kitchen; because he was certain you had no idea where anything was, meaning he would be the one preparing breakfast that morning, and the one following it, most likely.

Fuck it, he would (try to) cook you up seven different meals a day if you asked him.

Anything for you.

He put the kettle on, and moved to the pantry in search for John's teabags, yawning lightly as he pulled the door open.

Nothing in the pantry really stuck out to him as being a good breakfast that morning, so Roger ended up migrating to the fridge after retrieving the tea, where his eyes fell on the carton of eggs on the bottom shelf.

He settled on making French Toast for breakfast seeing as he, according to you, made the best French Toast in England.

So he got to work whipping up some eggs and pulling four slices of bread from the bread box on the counter-- but not before he got one of Bobby's bottles out for you, warmed it, and placed it on the kitchen table.

Roger was frying the French Toast in no time, and he hummed gently as he busied himself with focusing on the now whistling kettle, and when the right time to flip the toast would be.

"... I thought you were still in bed," your words were sudden, and it made Roger jump a little. But when he realized it was only you, Bobby in your arms, his mouth contorted into a dopey smile.

"Nah," Roger turned the pan's burner down a little, and after he flipped the French Toast, he set his spatula on the counter, turning to face you.

"I was gonna let you sleep in, since you were so reluctant on waking up," you explained with a yawn. "But here you are awake, and making breakfast before me."

"Well it wouldn't be fair then, would it? Me sleeping in while you've all this work to do?"

"I don't know, would it?"

"I really don't think so, Dove."

He felt pride swell in his chest when pink dusted your cheeks at the sound of your new nickname, and he took this chance to swoon you further by pulling you in gently by the elbows, and he enveloped both you and Bobby in his embrace.

"Beautiful..." Roger's voice was barely a whisper as he touched his lips to your jawline, and you responded with a soft exhale.

"Even when you've just woken up," Roger mumbled against the skin of your neck, lips curling into a smile, "you are the prettiest goddamned thing I've ever laid eyes on."

"Mmm, down, boy," you purred back jokingly, taking a small step back. "Baby still needs to eat."

"Well yours is coming right up," he teased, "and Bobby's is already at the table." Roger pointed to the bottle on the other side of the room before tapping your rear. "Take a seat, and I'll bring your food over."

You didn't have to be told twice. You took a seat at the table, and although Bobby was growing a little agitated, it was short lived when you put the bottle of milk in his possession.

Roger, not five minutes after you sat down, joined you at the table with your French Toast and your mug of tea, made just the way you liked it, of course.

"'S the right tea, yeah?"

You took a quick look at the label hanging from the mug.

"Yep." Your eyes squinted after letting the label fall where the string tied to it would let it. "Y'know, you've been making my tea right for months, you don't have to check to make sure you're right."

"You know I'm always gonna make sure it's to your liking."

"And I love you for it."

"Hopefully for other things too. I'm not just good at being your barista."

"Oh, don't you worry. I'm not overlooking your other good traits," you smiled as you brought your mug to your lips and having the first sip of tea of the day.

As Roger sat down next to you with his own plate of food and mug of tea, he decided to wait on Bobby to finish so he could eat with you.

So, naturally, he took the time to evaluate again what kind of situation he was in.

There was nothing like watching you care for Bobby. Roger had known you for years, and not once in his life did he ever think he would be sitting next to you at breakfast while feeding a baby, whether or not the child was his own, or yours.

The whole scene looked too good to be true, though like the previous night, Roger just drank in the sight of you putting all your love and care into a child at breakfast with him.

How did you think you weren't cut out for being a mother?

This was in your nature.

The domesticity of the situation made Roger a little emotional. This was the closest he'd ever gotten to experiencing a breakfast with a family he'd built, and he spent every passing second filling his mind and heart with the beautiful sight before him.

"Y/n, you would make a wonderful mother." Roger's words left his mouth faster than his brain could register what he'd said.

You looked to Roger from Bobby, cheeks and tips of your ears darkening, and Roger was talking again before he could realize it and catch himself.

"Any man would be so damn lucky to have you. I honestly can't believe you stick around me still."

Your face was feeling real hot, now. Roger's head was still lagging behind his words, and clearly, he wasn't done talking.

"You could be out building a beautiful family right now, but instead you're babysitting with your best friend who you also occasionally sleep with. I just... I don't understand."

It took you a second to respond, but Roger didn't blame you. Honestly, he didn't even know what he would have said if he were asked the same question.

"... Well, I love you, Roger."

Your words were simple, and Roger knew your statement was nothing but platonic, but that didn't stop his heart from pounding against his ribcage.

You'd said those exact three words to him minutes earlier, but the context of the conversations contrasted their meanings.

"But we promised each other at the beginning of all of this that we'd be fine giving up pursuing family life if that means living with one another..."

"... You sound unsure, now."

The atmosphere felt heavy, and it was almost as if Bobby had known making noise wasn't in his best interest. He decided to finish eating at the right time.

"... It's not that I'm unsure. It's just..."

Roger waited patiently for you to answer, but you had noticed Bobby finished his milk, and you took the bottle from him.

You burped him, and placed a pacifier you pulled from your pocket in Bobby's mouth. You must have gotten it from upstairs before you came down.

"Let me," Roger offered his arms out for the baby, and you let him take Bobby. You'd stood up and moved to the sink to wash the bottle.

Meanwhile, Roger, who'd also gotten to his feet, was slowly walking around the kitchen. He was praising Bobby for finishing all his breakfast, insisting he was so proud of him, his smile wide and gaze adoring as he evaluated the child in his arms.

"It's just that. There. The way you're behaving with him," you turn to face Roger, finger pointed at him. "The way you're treating him as your own."

Roger's mouth opened and closed a few times, but after shutting his jaw for the third time, he decided the best thing to do in this situation would be to keep quiet.

"You'd make the most wonderful father, Roger. The way you behave with Bobby, god, the way you behaved with Raymond the other day," you sounded frustrated, and all Roger could do was watch you pace the kitchen, his sheepish face now a deep red.

"It's just that I would want the father of my kids to be just like you. I wouldn't settle for anything less."

Roger opened his mouth again to speak. He felt like his chest was on fire. Your thoughts were becoming painstakingly parallel to his, Roger had noticed. He couldn't get any words out before you started speaking again.

"Like you said last night, this job is giving us a chance to experience what it'd be like to have a family... and maybe I'm upset I did throw the chance to have all of that away."

You looked like you were on the verge of tears, and all Roger could do was watch you and listen to what you had to say.

"Roger, I hope you know you will always have a special place in my heart. You're my family, you have been for the last five years of my life, and there's no doubt about it. But being able to have a child..."

Your hands ghosted over the robe's fabric covering your definitely unpregnant belly. "... I think I want to have children."

"... Y/n I hope you know I feel exactly the same way."

And then everything was clear.

Roger understood where his band was coming from.

Getting married to you would solve all your problems.

He knew what the both of you were thinking in this new moment of silence, but there was absolutely no way Roger was going to fall to one knee and propose to you right now when he wasn't even romantically involved with you.

And he just felt it would be very inappropriate if he took this moment to spontaneously ask you on a romantic date with the intentions of courting you.

"Listen, Y/n," Roger finally built up enough courage to break the silence. Bobby cut him off with a short cry, and Roger immediately started swaying the baby in his arms. Sure enough, Bobby's agitation ceased, and Roger could continue, keeping the movement going.

"Just because we're living together without families now doesn't mean we won't be able to have families, say, five to ten years down the road."

At this point, although it was necessary, Roger didn't really want to mention the discomfort he felt when imagining you falling for someone who wasn't him.

Your eyes were big and sad, lip pouted as you considered Roger's words. "... are you sure?"

The idea of you and him having to move out of the condo Roger risked the both of your love lives for didn't sit well with him.

You'd be gone making sweet love to some lucky asshole who probably didn't deserve to be in your presence, while Roger goes on a bender, gets ahold of some weed and coke, and sleeps with enough girls to distract him from realizing he'd thrown the best thing in his life away-- you.

He didn't want you to think he thought you were selfish. The last thing he needed right now was to feel guilty for making you feel guilty.

So he just nodded. "No house isn't forever anyways." When you didn't respond to his little joke, he sighed.

"Y/n, we're still so young. You don't have to commit yourself to anything like that just yet. Enjoy being able to go out drinking with me every weekend, and sleeping in on our days off. Your chance to start a family will come when the time is right."

You let out a shaky breath. Roger was actually a little surprised with how well you were keeping yourself together.

But his actions put the both of you here, and to see that this conversation nearly reduced you to tears had Roger drowning in guilt, even without the help of mentioning any of his inner conflict to you.

"I just hope you're right." Your voice was broken and your fingers were tangled stressfully in your hair.

"Hey," Roger's voice had gone soft again, his rocking slowing to a halt, and you looked up to find him with an open arm, awaiting your touch.

You slowly unravelled your fingers from your hair, and you gave into the hug not moments later. Roger pulled you to his chest tightly, his free arm occupied by the baby.

"Y'know... I made you French Toast to start the day off good." When you didn't say anything in response, Roger pulled away from you just enough to look you in the face.

He was giving you that same look he did at the Garrison's again; that unreadable gaze he'd achieved with those big blue eyes that seemingly bored holes into your very soul.

His free hand slipped up from your back to your neck, and he leaned in to just touch his lips to the corner of your mouth.

So close, yet so far away.

It wasn't before long that he pulled away from you, but Roger just couldn't keep his eyes off you.

"You come sit down and enjoy your French Toast, Dove. I've got Bobby."

"But--"

"Please?"

Roger knew he'd convinced you as soon as he said that magic word. Though you took a moment to look from the bundle in his arms to the breakfast you really were dying to dig into, you eventually sighed out a gentle "thank you," before taking your seat again at the table.

He came around and kissed the top of your head. "Enjoy, Honey." Roger took a seat next to you, Bobby still in his one arm, and the both of you ate your French Toast in relative silence for the first few seconds.

"... God, you really do make good French Toast, Blondie." Roger was smiling now. At least you were talking again.

"I only improved my cooking skills for you, y'know," he admitted with a mouthful of his food, though he didn't sound ashamed of it.

"And thank God for that. Cooking every other night sure beats cooking every night."

"You can say that again," Roger mumbled before shoving the last of his breakfast into his mouth. You still slowly ate away at your meal, and Roger was making funny faces at Bobby in between taking sips of his tea.

The telephone in the living room started ringing, and you stood up to go get it, but Roger immediately dropped his fork and grabbed your wrist.

"Nuh-uh. I just finished eating. You still have a little bit to go. Take Bobby and I'll get it." You scooped the baby up without another word, smiling when he opened his eyes.

"Can you at least bring back his rattle from his play pen?"

"Can do, Princess," he called over his shoulder as he approached the phone.

"H'lo?"

"Roger?"

"Oh, hey, John!" Roger tucked the phone's handset under his chin, carrying the telephone in his left hand so he could get Bobby's rattle.

"Isn't it a little early to be up?" Roger glanced at the clock, which read that it was quarter after seven.

"Biological clocks. Just wanting to checking in. Is Bobby okay? Has he been any trouble?"

"No, of course not! He's doing fine, John." Roger tucked the rattle in his back pocket when he found it, and returned to the writing desk where the phone was meant to stay.

That was something he loved about you. You always bought him pyjamas with pockets. The concept was cool, and being able to use them was even cooler.

"Y/n's got him in the kitchen right now," he explained, taking the handset again with his now free hand. "We're all just finishing up breakfast, actually."

"Oh good. How is she?" John paused for a second, his voice dropping a little lower. "... How are you guys?"

Roger made sure his voice was a little quiet, as well. "John, this may have been your guys' best idea ever. I don't know why I was against this in the beginning."

"Really?! What's happened already?!" John, everyone would have guessed to be one to avoid certain kinds of gossip, though when it came to Roger's business with you, he liked checking up on that.

"I told her about all that family stuff."

"And?"

"And, well..." Roger set the phone back onto the desk and scratched the back of his neck. "... She may or may not be having the same problem," he mumbled.

"So... so you both want a family?" John tried clarifying.

"Yes."

"Then why are you two not together?!" Roger slipped away around the corner into the main hall with just the receiver so he was a little further away from the kitchen. He didn't want you hearing their conversation, or John through the receiver.

"Well I'm not asking her here!"

"Then where? And when?"

Roger knew John was just getting excited, and his questions honestly had Roger brainstorming every possibility when it came to asking you.

"... I don't know, yet," Roger said after a while of thinking. "But soon. God, it needs to be soon." He didn't quite know why he was pressuring himself to ask you sooner than later.

Maybe it was because he was scared someone much better and more deserving of you (or alternatively, a selfish prick) was going to waltz in and steal you from him just before he had you for sure.

"Do you need any help with that part? I can get Fred and Bri--"

"No no no, it's okay, John." Roger leaned up against the wall of the hallway, fingers tapping the handset absentmindedly with his eyes squeezed shut for a moment.

"You guys have already done enough, really. I... I think I'm good on my own from here."

"Well, I'm glad," John expressed to Roger. "It's not every day you need to help Roger Taylor get with a girl, y'know."

"This is different, and you know it."

"I just like to tease," John defended, and Roger could even hear a smile evident in his words.

"Anyways, Veronica and I will be home tomorrow around noon. Y/n's got our number. You two take care."

"Of course, you too," Roger was making his way back to the writing desk.

"Thanks. Oh, and Roger?" John added quickly.

"Hm?"

"If you two end up doing anything, for God's sake, please wash the sheets."

As John was speaking, you'd walked into the living room with Bobby in your arms. "We're gonna go and have some play time, now! Yes we are!"

Roger was too panicked by your presence to even realize you weren't paying any attention to the phone call, and he hoped to God you didn't hear a single thing John had said. "Yeah-yes! Laundry. Will do."

He nodded his head once, though John couldn't see him, and after saying their good byes, Roger hung up the phone.

He turned to where you were in the living room. You were looking in the play pen for something, and Roger suddenly remembered the rattle in his back pocket.

He pulled it out hurriedly and held it out to you. "Shit! I'm so sorry about that--"

"Don't swear, Roger," you took the rattle, a smile on your lips you both knew you were trying to frown away. "There's a baby here."

"What? He doesn't know what that word means."

"Well, the more you keep saying it, the more of a chance he has at that being his first word, and I do not need the Deacon Family hunting us down for teaching their kid swears." You looked from Roger down to Bobby, shaking the rattle gently and grinning when Bobby squealed happily and reached out for the toy.

You took a seat on the couch, and played around with Bobby while Roger went back to the kitchen to do the dishes.

From 7:30 AM to about 2:30, all that really happened was play-time and lunch, something Roger prepared. You offered to do the dishes, but Roger wouldn't allow it. He just suggested you put Bobby up for his nap. He'd fallen asleep in your arms during play-time, like he did with Roger the night before.

The both of you thought it was crazy Bobby would just fall asleep rather than cry, but honestly, neither of you were complaining. Quiet baby for the win!

Roger just finished putting the last plate on the drying rack on the counter as he listened above for your footsteps leaving Bobby's room. He dried his hands off with the dishtowel hanging over his shoulder after turning off the faucet.

From behind, Roger felt a pair of arms slowly circle his body, and he smiled warmly at the feeling of you pressed against his back.

"He asleep?"

"Mhm."

Roger's smile only widened as you inched your palms up his chest. He turned in your arms and pressed his hands against your hips, inching you closer as he leaned back against the kitchen sink.

"Well, what do we do, now?" Roger asked. He sounded like he was up to no good. With the sultry look in his eyes and the way the smile on his lips looked like he was repressing a naughty suggestion, he knew you knew he already had something on his mind.

"Well, I mean," your hands slipped up into Roger's long hair, fingers tangling themselves between the strands. "Anything, really."

You knew what game Roger was playing, and you loved how cute he was, thinking he was going to have you on your knees for him.

His eyes shamelessly raked over the top half of your body, and he squeezed his hands, still at your hips.

"What'll you be doing with your free time, Roger?" You took one more step closer to him, and he pulled you the rest of the way to him so your groin was flush with his.

"I'm looking right at her."

He was already strained against his jeans, and you just offered a smile, fingers tightening their grip in Roger's hair.

"Mmm... I kinda like the sound of that," you admitted lowly, half of a smile on your lips. You shifted your hips from side to side, and Roger tried to pull you even closer.

You rolled your hips against Roger again, and the cheekiness in his face fell with a look of long-awaited relief, and his head dropped to your shoulder.

One of his hands moved up to grab you by the back of your neck, and when he lifted his head to look at you again, his second hand dragged upwards from your hip to squeeze your waist.

Roger lifted the hand by your neck, and combed your hair back with his fingers. His eyes fell onto yours for a brief moment, and you could have sworn there was something he tried to tell you there.

You just couldn't read him.

But he didn't care. He pulled you in close again, and his lips were on yours.

You'd kissed Roger before. Not in public, but definitely in the bedroom. And they weren't very scarce. Honestly, if Roger's lips weren't somewhere else on your body, they'd be on yours.

But why was this feeling different from all the other times he'd kissed you?

He was being a lot less forceful and needy than he usually was.

His grip wasn't tight on you, and it wasn't like he was crushing you against him as if indicating he needed more of you, now.

He was holding you rather, and the hand at your waist circled around to press against your lower back. The hand on your neck shifted a little forward so Roger could gently slide the pad of his thumb down the column of your throat.

The both of you were holding your breath, and Roger was the first to pull away. The both of you sucked in some air, and before you could even draw in a full breath, Roger's lips were on yours again.

He pushed towards you, guiding you backwards until your back was flat against the refrigerator. His warm hands grabbed for yours and he pinned them above your head by your wrists.

Okay. This, was something you were used to. But there was nothing that could have prepared you for when Roger's hands loosened their grip on your wrists, and he was lacing his fingers between your own.

Your hands felt very small in Roger's. How had he never noticed that before? What else had he neglected to realize about you?

In that moment, he felt you pull away to breathe, and he looked down at you worriedly, fingers frozen, yet still laced with yours.

"I- uh... I-I'm sorry--"

"No no, don't be. It's okay," your response was very rushed, but you didn't skip a word.

There was about a minute of silence, your hot breaths mingling in the space between your lips, though your gazes were locked with one another, and you couldn't look away.

"Did-uh... did you want me to... to stop?" His question was gentle, almost sincere-sounding, but he still made no effort to move from his place.

"No. God, no." And as soon as you'd answered, Roger closed the space between the both of you again, his fingers unwound from yours to grab you by the jaw, and you just held his waist, pushing your body as close to him as he would let you.

He shifted around a little, and moved his leg between yours. You could feel his mouth bend into a smirk against yours, and he began to apply pressure to the apex of your legs with his knee.

Before long, as much as you wanted to resist it, you fell to Roger's submission, and as you waited for him to grab your waist and put you wherever, he hesitated for a second, and dropped his hands from yours.

You opened your eyes again to find Roger, face red, and staring at your chest. Not in an ogling way, but more of a method to avoid looking you in the eye.

He could tell you were looking at him, and he shifted his gaze to you. He itched at his hands awkwardly, mouth opening and closing as he tried to explain himself.

You just waited. You gave him time to think, and he had an answer for you sooner than either of you would have thought.

"I just... I wanna try something else. I don’t want to control you like I do every night."

It wasn't much of an explanation, but a good beginning to a demonstration.

"Will you come to bed with me, Y/n?" His offer was gentle, yet confident, despite offering a hand out hesitantly.

When you dropped your hand into his, all of the tension in Roger's being relaxed, and he quietly led you up the stairs, past the nursery, and into John and Veronica's room.

Before you could say anything he gently explained that he'd do laundry later, and then he pulled you in for another kiss he'd been waiting to give you since the last one.

Roger pulled you closer to him, hands cupping your face as his lips began to desperately chase after yours. You kissed Roger back with just as much vigor, but then he slowed the movements of his mouth, and guided you backwards until the back of your legs hit the edge of the bed.

Roger helped lower you down onto the bed, and he leaned over you, dipping down to kiss your lips again. He knelt between your legs, and pulled them up around his waist so he could lean in even closer.

You felt his hands squeeze your hips, and he pulled at your bottom lip with his teeth. You hummed lowly, your eyelashes kissing your cheeks as Roger pulled away ever so slightly-- just enough to pull his shirt off of him, and close the distance between your bodies again.

You tangled your hands into his hair, and he hummed in approval before pulling back just once more.

"I'm sure that's hardly fair..."

"What?"

"This," Roger tugged gently at the hem of your shirt.

"Why's yours still on?"

"... I never said it had to be."

Roger exhaled, and slowly pulled your shirt up over your head after you raised your arms to help him out a little.

He placed the palm of his hand over the smooth skin of your belly as he stared at your bare torso. And before long, he dipping down to kiss you again.

You reciprocated his actions, wrapping your arms around his neck and tightening your legs around his hips, to which he rocked himself against your core, and then---

Bam!

The headboard hit the wall, and Bobby woke up.

"Nooo..." you squeezed your eyes shut as the baby's cries began to reverberate down the hallway.

"Fuck!" Roger groaned, eyebrows knitted together helplessly as he climbed off of you. You both knew it was Roger who technically woke the baby up, and it was just silently agreed on that he went to put him back down.

"Dammit to hell, those separated headboards."

Roger opened the nursery door, and made his way to the crib in the corner of the room. Bobby's cheeks were wet with tears, and Roger's heart sank. "'M sorry, little guy. C'mere. Come see uncle Roger."

He picked the baby up and rocked him back and forth, though it wasn't exactly doing much, so Roger took a seat in the rocking chair on the opposite side of the room, swaying the both of them with a push of his feet.

Bobby's cries settled, and Roger felt proud of himself. Sure, he wanted to get back to what he was doing before, but instead he took his time in making sure Bobby was comfortable and not in need of anything before he drifted off to sleep again.

Bobby played around with Roger's fingers a few moments after his agitation ceased, and he couldn't believe how large his hands were in comparison to Bobby's. He was once that size.

A little while later Roger set Bobby down in his crib, and the infant was out. The drummer smiled at his accomplishment. He didn't even need your help.

With that, he left the room without a sound.

He stepped into John and Veronica's room, and closed the door quietly behind him. He was in the middle of turning on his heel when he stopped dead in his tracks.

You'd taken some of the pillows off the bed and wedged them between the wall and the headboard to keep the bed from making noise.

You were also splayed out on the bed in a lot less clothing than he remembered you in when he left.

With a teasing beckon from your finger, Roger knew three things were for certain.

1. You were the smartest woman he knew.

2. You were the most gorgeous woman he'd ever laid eyes on.

3. He, the Roger Taylor, had fallen madly, and helplessly in love with you.

-------------------------------------

A/A/N: Again, you’ve all been waiting long enough for the next chapter, so here you are. i hope you all enjoy, and if my response is great with this one, I’ll see if I can spit out another one soon <3

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[junewild]

may we have your cupcake recipe? <3

HELL YEAH, thank u anon. i’ll give you vanilla, citrus, spice, and chocolate cupcakes & if you want anything else let me know! this is going to be stream-of-consciousness rather than linear recipe, because unfortunately that is how i bake. if you want a linear recipe, let me know which particular set of pieces you want and i can write it up for you. i’ll even guesstimate times and such.

BEFORE YOU READ FURTHER: this is very long. if you are not into cupcakes, bookmark this for later when you suddenly decide to make cupcakes and keep scrolling. now with new added read more for additional readability <3

making cupcakes takes me about two hours if i’m doing two batches or an hour and a half if i’m doing one. it might take you a little longer the first time because you don’t quite know what order to do things in or how long everything takes. i like to start my fillings first because they take longer to be ready, then turn on my oven, then mix my batter, then make the frosting while cupcakes are baking.

SUPPLIES

you will need: a cupcake tin, cupcake wrappers, at least one large mixing bowl (2 is recommended to avoid a lot of washing dishes between steps), a hand mixer or a lot of elbow grease, spatula, whisk, small bowl, a small grater or microplaner, a piping tip + bag (or just a plastic bag with a hole cut in one corner) and at least one saucepan or small frying pan. measuring spoons/cups are useful but i’ve tried to include thicknesses and alternatives so you can eyeball it if you have to (i usually do, just because i know what i’m looking for lol)

you will also need some of the following (check your specific cupcake type to find out which): a box of cake mix or ingredients to make your own cake mix, cream cheese, condensed milk, butter, powdered sugar, lemons/limes/oranges, chocolate, vanilla extract (real is recommended; i know it’s more expensive but the increase in quality is worth it if you can), lemon extract, heavy cream, pumpkin pie spice (or at least nutmeg + cinnamon), and fruit of your choice.

CUPCAKE

okay so: box mix is fine. it’s good. great, even. as long as you do this: replace the oil with butter. add an extra egg. i don’t care how many eggs it calls for. i know it feels like a lot of eggs. add an egg anyway. add a sprinkle of extra salt. a tsp or so. you’ve already made a good cupcake!

vanilla:

add a tablespoon (about three capfuls, if you don’t have measuring spoons) of REAL vanilla extract if you can afford it (or i really like the vanilla paste that has specks of bean in it. 10/10)

citrus:

one teaspoon (one capful) vanilla extract. two-ish teaspoons of lemon extract. zest of one lemon. zest of one orange (i like blood orange particularly much) or lime. replace 1/2 cup of the water with lemon and lime or orange juice. add about a tbsp of extra sugar.

spice:

two teaspoons pumpkin pie spice (you can see the spice in the batter without it discoloring the batter) + one tablespoon vanilla extract.

chocolate:

it’s already perfect xoxo. JUST KIDDING. add a tablespoon of vanilla extract.

instructions:

these ratios are for 24 cupcakes. take your cupcake pan and line it with cupcake papers. you can grease the top of the pan if you’re anxious, but it shouldn’t be necessary, especially if you have a nonstick pan. then just mix your batter until it’s not particularly lumpy and fill your cupcake papers about a third of the way full. a quarter cup measure is easiest for me to use bc the amount that easily comes out of it is about the right amount & it drips less than a spoon does. then i like to use a spoon to push the batter up the sides a little so it holds the fillings better.

FILLINGS

you can mix and match the hell out of these, honestly. i typically do cheesecake in everything & then fruit in vanilla or citrus cupcakes, specifically apple or cranberry in spice cupcakes, & chocolate in vanilla or chocolate cupcakes.

cheesecake:

one package softened cream cheese + 10 oz (2/3 a 14 oz can) condensed milk. stir on low heat until smooth, then add 2 teaspoons vanilla extract. DON’T add sugar. it’s not supposed to be very sweet.

fruit compote:

literally just half a cup or so of frozen or fresh fruit. i’ve done this with raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, cranberries, apples (fresh and cubed is best), and peaches. anything is fair game, honestly. i want to try stewed kumquats and plums at some point. if frozen, add a tiny bit of water. if fresh, add about as much water as you have fruit. squeeze some lemon and lime in there. add sugar to taste. for the apple spice mix, add another teaspoon of vanilla and a teaspoon of pumpkin pie spice.

IMPORTANT: you do NOT want this to be sweet. this is NOT jam. it should be a little tart when you taste it. if it’s not thick enough, slurry a tbsp of cornstarch in a little bit of cold water and stir it in. it should be thick enough to not drip off of a spoon when you turn it upside down.

ganache:

heat a cup of heavy cream on very low heat. i like to do a double boiler: saucepan half-full of water, bowl full of cream in the saucepan. when the cream is warm, stir in most of a package of dark chocolate chips. stir HARD—whisk the shit out of it. DO NOT let any of the water get into the bowl!! you want the ganache to be gloppy when you lift it with a spoon—it has to not soak into the cupcake mix.

instructions:

so you have your 1/3 full cupcake wrappers with the batter spooned a little bit up the sides. using a small kitchen spoon, drop a spoonful of cheesecake into each cupcake. then top that with a spoonful of ganache or a spoonful of fruit compote (or both! it’s your kitchen!). spoon batter over the top and down the sides. fully covered, it should come to just under the top of the cupcake wrapper—i usually have 1/4 to 1/8 of an inch grace.

pop that in the oven according to the box instructions. i usually find that cupcakes with fillings take the longer time listed, rather than the shortest one. when your time goes off, touch the top of a cupcake. if it feels firm (think: ripe plum; you can push on it and it’s soft but it doesn’t cave in), it’s probably done. you can also put a toothpick down one of the sides, rather than the middle. pull your cupcakes out of the oven, put in your second batch, and set these aside to cool.

FROSTINGS

there are two frostings that go well here. i tend to like buttercream for vanilla and citrus and cream cheese for apple spice and chocolate. your mileage may vary. this is where the sweetness comes from, without overwhelming the cupcake!

buttercream:

let two sticks of butter (one unsalted and one salted) soften on your countertop. DON’T melt them. when they’re room temperature and you could mold them with your fingers, put them in a bowl. a mixer is best for this stage, but you can do it with a whisk and spatula if you’re determined, have patience, or can switch out with someone else. whip the butter a little. add five cups of powdered sugar, a cup at a time.

for a vanilla cupcake, add a tablespoon of vanilla extract (or vanilla paste! the specks are SO cool looking!) and use heavy cream to even out the texture until you think it’s pipeable (you’re looking for “holds its shape without being Chunky”). for a citrus cupcake, add a teaspoon of citrus extract and lime juice until it’s pipeable. two sticks of butter is too much, but one stick usually isn’t quite enough, and i prefer to have extra to practice piping with.

cream cheese frosting:

let one package (8oz) of cream cheese soften on your countertop. mix it in a bowl until smooth. add about four cups (3/4 a regular water cup, i think) of powdered sugar—again, we’re looking for “pipeable without being inflexible”. add a tablespoon of vanilla extract/paste and use heavy cream if you need to soften the texture at all.

both of these frostings take coloring very well. something that i personally love is doing a sort of gradient, where i’ll add red to one side and mix it well, yellow to another side and mix it well, make some orange in the middle, and leave some white here and there. then spoon from each section into a piping bag and voila, free beautiful swirls. you can also use a knife to frost your cupcakes, but i think piping is fairly easy to pick up on if you try it a few times, and it makes your cupcakes look that much more professional.

instructions:

make SURE your cupcakes are COOL TO THE TOUCH before you frost them! pop them in the fridge if you’re in a hurry! a single layer of piping should be enough, but decorate if you want. icing sugar is pretty. don’t go too overboard with sprinkles—they make it hard to eat.

voila! cupcakes.

SUBSTITUTIONS

i have made these gluten-free, dairy-free, corn-free, vegan, etc etc. gluten free box mix is fine. your own powdered sugar (powdered sugar + tapioca starch) is great. you can do a coconut milk pudding instead of cheesecake or ganache. you can do baking soda + vinegar instead of baking powder (1/4 tsp bs + 1/2 tsp vinegar per tsp baking powder). if you’re allergic to fruit, i am SO SORRY for you but please try the chocolate ones. you can substitute any extract, any flavor profile, any combination of ingredients. if you’re using a commercial egg substitute, just add an extra 1/4 cup of it. if you’re using flaxseed, just add an extra tablespoon of flaxseed + 3 tablespoons water.

it may not come out exactly the same as the standard ones, but my friends with dietary restrictions still swear by them. i have never brought cupcakes home from a party. i don’t think anyone who’s ever tried one has not gotten a second helping. people who swear they aren’t cupcake people love these cupcakes. (it’s because they aren’t overly sweet or moist or dry and they aren’t one-note, because the fillings add complexity of texture and flavor. there you go, now you know how to describe your new cupcakes to people).

congrats! you’re about to be everyone’s favorite party guest!

[corpseyhusband]

hi i’m really fuckin stressed i just moved into my uni residence yesterday and i’m trying and failing to organise my room and my parents called because my uni fees are way higher than they should be and we don’t know why so i need to find out what’s going on and i need to do laundry but i can’t do it without a student card and i don’t have it yet and tomorrow i need to buy a bus card bc i have to go to ikea but without a student card i can’t get student discount and i need to get a printer but idk how to set it up bc my parents helped my sisters move into their unis but bc of covid they can’t help me so i need to figure it out on my own and i’m trying to meet new people but now i think they think i’m just annoying and needy and i really need to make friends and i’m worried that my best friend at home is depressed again and there’s nothing i can do about it from all the way over here and i miss him and i miss all of my friends back home and i miss my parents and my pets and i need to fucking get up bc it’s almost 1am and i need to clean my pot and pan and plates and jug and spatula so i can cook tomorrow bc i only had 2 meals today and one of them was cup noodles and the other was a bun from the supermarket and also i bought a toaster bc i thought i needed one but turns out i don’t even need one bc there’s a communal one so that was a waste of money and i can’t even return it bc i opened it and the only bread i could get is fucking massive so i was gonna freeze half of it but i forgot to buy ziplock bags and i also forgot to buy a lock for the communal fridge and cups and kitchen scissors and shower soaps and conditioner bc i’m still using tiny hotel ones that r basically empty and fuck i forgot to take my antibiotics yesterday do i take two today to make up for it or is that bad and i need to go wash my pots now but i wanna wait until it’s later so that no one sees me because for some reason i think that washing shit in the communal sink is embarrassing even tho i know it shouldn’t be and no one gives a shit and also i don’t wanna bc it’s fucking summer and it’s boiling so i’m in my pyjamas which is like a playsuit type thing so i gotta wear a jacket over it if i go outside so i don’t accidentally nip slip but then i sweat so much and i’m already boiling bc the rooms don’t have ac but i have a fan but i couldn’t clean it properly bc i don’t have a screwdriver so there’s still gross dust clumps on it amd it’s probably making the room grosser and i just want to fucking cry but i’ve cried too many times this week i should be happy i should be excited this is what i’ve been looking forward to for the last year of my life but it’s just so much and i’m so overwhelmed and i need to sort my room out bc the clutter is making me more stressed but i need to sleep bc i’m sleep deprived and i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing with my life

[tsukkisbean]

24 cakes pt.1 | oneshot

pairing: tsukishima kei x fem!reader

genre: fluff, mildly suggestive

warnings: none!

a/n: so this kind of turned into a oneshot but oh well. i also tried to make it so that you could technically read the two parts separately if you prefer fluff/smut over the other but idk how well that worked out. anyways, pt 2 has been scheduled to come out in 2 hours. n e ways TSUKISHIMA BEST BOY!! also this is a reupload bc my original post disappeared. if you already saw this NO U DIDN’T

the smell of smoke engulfs your apartment and you quickly run to slide open your balcony door. turning on your heels you make your way back to the kitchen. clambering atop the counter you try to wave the air clear with your palms. when the piercing sound of the smoke alarm finally cuts out, you plop down, letting your legs dangle over the edge of the counter.

your eyes land on the stovetop where your burnt creation sits. you let out a frustrated cry. you’ve made this recipe more times than you can count on your fingers because somehow they’ve all ended up in disaster. first, there was the time you underbeat the whipped cream, and ended up with a sticky mess. then there was the time you accidentally knocked the batter onto the floor. not to mention the time you dropped the cake right as you pulled it out of the oven.

this time you had gotten so wrapped up in your phone call with tsukishima you didn’t realize that your oven timer was going off. by the time you had come to your senses, it was too late.

you rub your temples in annoyance. despite starting weeks in advance to make sure you had the recipe down, it was now the day of your boyfriend’s birthday and you had yet to successfully finish the recipe even once.

taking a quick glance at the clock, you push yourself off the counter to throw away your burnt masterpiece and begin pulling out ingredients once more. tsukishima was supposed to be over in a few hours, so if you wanted to have enough time you had to start now.

you’re about to combine the dry ingredients together when there’s a brisk knock on the door. dusting your hands on your apron, you make your way to the front entrance. you swing your door open, and slam it shut just as fast. 

the knocking starts up again, this time more persistent and more aggressive. your fingers fumble with the door chain, sliding it into place before cracking the door open ever so slightly. you’re about to peek out into the hallway, but before you can get a good view, your visitor tries to force the door open further causing you to jump back in surprise.

“y/n? what the hell are you doing?” the person on the other side says, irritation evident in their voice. when you don’t respond they speak again, this time with a much softer tone, “y/n please let me in. are you okay?”

“mhm” is the only thing you manage to squeeze out though it sounds more like a squeak. gently pressing the door closed again, you remove the chain to let your visitor in. when your boyfriend comes into full view, you flash him a bashful smile, “sorry, kei. i was just caught off guard, i thought we agreed that you’d come over at 9pm.”

the tall male scoffs, raising his hand to give your forehead a flick, before perching forward to press an apologetic kiss against the red mark, “nii-chan got held up at work so he won’t be here until tomorrow.”

you try to pull off your best scowl, only to have him to snort at you, “so? are you going to let me in or are you going to keep making faces at me?” he cranes his neck to look past you, his height giving him a clear advantage.

reluctantly, you step aside and he lets himself in, removing his shoes and changing into his slippers in the process. as the two of you step into the kitchen, you avoid eye contact, already able to picture the smug expression on his face.

his arms slip around your waist, face nuzzling into the crook of your neck. despite the sweet actions, the nuance in his voice says otherwise, “aw y/n were you trying to bake me a birthday cake? you really shouldn’t have.”

you pull away from him, sticking out your tongue in response, “fine in that case i’m going to make this strawberry shortcake for myself.” you tap your chin pretending to deep in thought for a moment, “or maybe i’ll ask yamaguchi if he wants some.”

you expect a snarky remark but he says nothing, instead he strides over to one of the drawers to pull out an apron. you watch as he hooks the bib around his neck, and fastens the string around his waist.

he picks up the recipe by the corner, letting it dangle in the air. he shoots you a questioning look but you shrug your shoulders and snatch the paper out of his hands. “so i’ve already tried to bake this recipe a couple of times, it’s bound to have a couple of stains here and there.”

“how many times is a couple, really? three? ten? fifty?”

you mutter something under your breath, fingers fiddling with each other. tsukishima leans in closer, cupping his ear with his hand, “sorry, can you say that again?”

you roll your eyes, this time your voice at a normal volume, “twenty-three.”

this time tsukishima laughs with his whole chest, using his pointer finger to gently push your head, “twenty-three? i’m surprised you haven’t burned the entire place down.”

placing your hands on your hips, you challenge him, “what? you think you can do better?”

he shifts in his spot so that your eyes are level with his, “oh i know i can do better.”

with that, he snatches the recipe back from you, doing a careful readthrough of each step. you watch as he scoops a cup of flour, neatly levelling it with a metal spatula. just as he’s about to pour the flour into the bowl, you lunge forward, bumping your hip against his side. a white cloud rises into the air, coating the both of you in flour.

tsukishima grabs you by the wrists, clicking his tongue in annoyance “tsk, do you really hate losing that much?”

you feign innocence, flashing him your sweetest smile, “sorry, i lost my balance.”

unable to think of a comeback he releases you, turning his attention back to the task at hand. as works through each step, you shadow him, interjecting a few comments every so often.

wrapping your arms around his waist, you rest your face against the side of his body, “are you sure that’s soft peaks it’s looking a little runny still”

he tilts the bowl towards you, lifting the mixer up so you can see how the egg whites droop over slightly, “yes i’m sure.”

you take your chance again when he moves onto the next step, “be careful not to add the sugar too fast or-”

but to your dismay he’s already one step ahead of you,“then the stiff peaks won’t form, i know.”

in a last resort to try and distract him, you throw in one last punch, “are you really sure you want to fold your meringue in now? it’s looking a little soft still.” obviously fed up with your antics, tsukishima grabs the metal bowl, flipping it above your head.

instinctively, you duck your head down and cover your head with your hands. cracking an eye open, you’re met with his usual smirk. and so, you shuffle over to the other side of the counter situating yourself on one of the bar stools.

you watch silently as he works through the final steps with ease. once the cake is placed in the oven he turns his attention back to you.

his long frame leans over the kitchen counter and kisses the tip of your nose, “sorry, but it looks like this is just one more thing that i’m better than you at. although 24 cakes does seem appropriate for today’s occasion, huh?”

you huff, crossing your arms against your chest, “technically you’re not finished until the cake its cooked, iced, and decorated.” turning your head slightly you side eye him, “besides you may be better than me at some things. but you’re definitely not everything.”

a sly smile appears on tsukishima’s face, “oh yeah? i can think of plenty of things that i can beat you at right now.”

your palms hit the counter as your body shoots out of its seat, “oh yeah? let’s go then. right here, right now.”

(a/n: if you want to read the smutty ending of this then please check out my blog at 3:00pm pst (in 2 hrs)! i’ve scheduled the next post for then. otherwise read on hehe.)

your entire body quivers under your boyfriend. never have you wanted to scream at him so bad before. but you bite your tongue and hold yourself back for the time being. there was no way you were going to lose to him, not when you had so confidently declared that you were going to beat him.

“left hand yellow, y/n.”

you let out a triumphant yell as your hand is already planted on a yellow spot. but the feeling is short lived when you realize that you now have to maneuver yourself to reach the spinner. it’s obvious your boyfriend is thinking the same thing from the way he shoots you a smile.

but you refuse to lose, not when you’ve held out for this long. before your hand reaches the spinner, a blaring noise fills the room.

the two of you look at each other, and this time it’s you who shoots him a knowing smile. he glowers at you as he twists his body to stand up. once he stands up fully erect, your arms and legs give out, your body crumpling onto the floor.

as you lay there, a delicious scent fills your nostrils. automatically, you rise to your feet, skittering over to join your boyfriend by the oven. he takes notice of your presence, and defensively holds his arms out, “don’t you dare come anywhere near my cake. you might ruin it.”

your mouth hangs open, reaching out to give his chest a playful shove, “hey i’m good at baking. i just had a few…mishaps.” your voice trails off momentarily, “plus i just beat you at twister, so technically we’re tied for today!”

tsukishima clicks his tongue, obviously irritated at the fact that he most likely would have won if it weren’t for the timer going off.

“let’s play another round, loser has to wash all the dishes.” he extends his hand out to you.

grabbing his hand, you give it a firm shake, “you’re on! prepare to lose, kei.”

your grip loosens but before you can completely pull your hand away, you’re tugged against tsukishima’s body. in one swift motion his lips capture yours in a chaste kiss. after a moment, he pulls away slightly, letting your lips brush against each other as he speaks, “whatever you say, love. but just remember today is my birthday.”

a/n: hello!! i’m putting my final author’s note here just because i didn’t wanna spoil the ending hehe. anyways i hope you guys liked the ending now i’m thinking about doing twister hc with haikyuu sooooooo look out for that :)