#bc i sometimes do look like i have an agenda (which is mostly just to get the picture taking over with)

[creatureprofessor]

my happy face means smiling w my mouth completely closed, a habit i picked up when i was wearing permanent braces and was really self-conscious about it, and my lips are on the thinner side to begin with, and i scrunch my eyes real small, to make my eyes look less asymmetrical. i also frequently clasp my hands in front of my torso and hold them there as a sort of idle animation. so on pictures i'm featured in usually look like there is a short, round-faced plotter somewhere near the side who sniles so sneetly.

[puckpocketed]

get ready for avs essays, babeyyyyyyy!!! 

so i’m actually completely fine with it if you don’t find nate compelling but since you bring him up, i will start with him. 

the thing about fortnite gamergirl nathan mackinnon is that he is like. very talented and reasonably conventionally attractive and also soooooooo cringefail. he’s the league mvp and a stanley cup champion and he has a gorgeous fiancée and he’s rich and he’s smashing through joe sakic’s franchise records left and right.... and he’s succchhhhhh a loser (affectionate). he’s uncomfortable all the time. he doesn’t know how to act. he’s pretty private but also he’ll just Say Things that are way too personal with the exact same tone he’d use to. i dunno. tell you what brand of sneakers he wears. he’ll also reveal things about the most private man in sports, squidney crocsby, that are way too personal—and sid apparently is fine with this because he continues to be boybestfriends and next door neighbors with the guy.

everyone thinks he is soooooo serious alllll the time (in spite of the fact that he is goofy and silly when he’s out with the boys) but it’s just a combination of a) his face just looks like that b) he’s just intense in general. he’s equally unchill about how much he fucking loves the boys and how much he loves his tiny dog. and c) mostly we see him when he is at his fucking job? and when he’s at work it’s All Business. don’t make him do dumb social media shit or ask him stupid questions about whether or not he thinks preseason is too long, he’s! busy! come back when it’s puppy day. 

he’s so focused on being working harder and being better and improving everything about his game and yet!!! he cannot win a faceoff 💖 he trains with squidney all summer! every year!! you would think he could learn something from the guy. but no, he doesn’t even seem to try to win faceoffs sometimes. he’s also. not ? defensively responsible? i do not exactly expect him to play like kopitar, here. i don’t even think he should waste all his energy backchecking; like, that’s not the thing we need him for. but idk from a guy who is sooooo fucking smart about hockey, a little more situational awareness would be nice. just a thought! like, if he wanted to be better at things, maybe he could get better at the things he’s terrible at? (but whatever, this gives me more of an excuse to push my ondřej pavel -> big boys’ club agenda). like. nate is an elite 1C—except that he doesn’t forecheck and doesn’t defend and one of his wingers (jonathan drouin) is actually the playmaker and the other winger (mikko rantanen) has to take all his faceoffs for him 🥰 

his one and only love language is trying to convince the boys to come play with him (jo, jack eichel, mitch marner, jo again). he doesn’t like late games, because he doesn’t nap. and he doesn’t nap because he can’t sleep during the day. and he can’t sleep during the day because he drinks too much water, so he has to piss too much. babygirl, why would you volunteer this information 💕 he tells people to call him “the dogg” and then they do. he says awkward sentences that rewire my brain. he should be cool, but he isn’t!!!!! he extremely fucking isn’t.

this is my natemac thesis, you can take it or leave it (said with love!!!!! there are other players i am significantly more invested in getting people on board with). i think many other people can speak more eloquently than i can about everything impressive he does on the ice. but he’s one of my special little guys bc of everything else

i have no idea what to do with all this <3 I'm here because he just bonked my ducks into oblivion - im hoping this cures his dogboy depression (it was becoming so wretched that it had started leaking into my curated feeds) - and it made me think of this ask which i've been marinating. hello!!

fortnite legend natemack is the exact age to have grown up in the heyday of COD xbox lobbies, do u ever think about that . i think about that now. do u think natedogg is his gamertag. rpf people are you writing gamergirl natemack AUs yet? has that happened yet? (sorry i don't. i don't have any clue what tropes are popular. im just throwing stuff at the wall <3)

nate is an elite 1C—except that he doesn’t forecheck and doesn’t defend and one of his wingers (jonathan drouin) is actually the playmaker and the other winger (mikko rantanen) has to take all his faceoffs for him 🥰

^craziest description of a 1C i've ever heard AND the most compelling he has ever been.

also thank u for not makin some kind of eating disorder joke amongst all this. it IS that serious (to ME) and people do this so much and i think they're not as funny as they think they are <3 (<- WHO SAID THAT!!!)

MYE two cents looking thru a writer/narrative lens: just, like, skimming whatever the hell comes up about him, he strikes me as someone who is very sincere. i get that everyone calls it "intensity" but i think sincerity has its own power. idk. i think he's very brave for wanting what he wants so transparently and wholly. <3 fortnite legend nathan mackinnon you are in my crosshairs......

[seongminiz]

no PLS yess.. also i don’t want to yap AT you i want ur opinion plsss more switch!matthew i think the dynamic between dom!jiwoong and switch!reader, switch!matthew goes crazyyyy like especially if the 3 of u live together or like matt and y/n are roommates and jiwoong visits… a LOT.

matthew can be a great dom sometimes but also he is such a good subby boy. i feel like he is/could be very obedient to jiwoong and would definitely be sooo flustered and dumb and bratty if jiwoong was provoking him.. like maybe y/n isn’t dating either but jiwoong knows matty likes you, so he’s always flirting with you and coming over to hangout just to piss matthew off but he also knows matthew would never make a move on you on his own because he wouldn’t want to make jiwoong mad at him >:(((( so matthew waits until jiwoong sets up a time for the 3 of you to “get to know each other better” but he’s so mad that jiwoong is getting to touch and kiss you, despite knowing that matthew has a crush on u so he gets so desperate and mean and ultimately subby for you because he wants you so bad that it hurts and he’ll do anything he needs to, to have you, even if he ends up humiliating himself <333333

i just kinda have a fantasy of legal zb1 members like jiwoong, and hanbin, and zhang hao cucking matthew (i think he would go crazy for it, he’d deny it but it’d be such a turn on for him)

- 🧁 anon

no bc even tho i keep pushing the soft dom!jiwoong agenda ,, maybe he was the real mean dom all along bc he lovessss to see matthew getting all upset but not being able to do nothing bc in the end u r not together so ....

went kinda crazy with this one woopsie so im putting the rest under the cut

n tbh cant even blame him bc matthew would look soooo cute all sulky n upset n doing anything u ask of him just bc u got a little too touchy with jiwoong in front of him ,, deep down he loves it tho („• ᴗ •„)

taking from what u said like almost at the start of ur ask , lets say u n matt r roommates , n jiwoong comes over often - sometimes just to hang out with the two of u (mostly just u while matthew sulks in his corner of the couch n acts like a kicked puppy until u give him some attention) , usually to have threesomes . n then theres the secret third option , which is when u - insanely oblivious abt matthew's crush - dont rlly feel like fucking both of them . thats cool thats valid , but instead of going to ur roommate/fwb/pseudo-situationship u decide to just call jiwoong .

he'd be so enthusiastic abt it bc to him thats a double win : he gets to fuck you AND he probably somehow gets to piss of matthew in one way or another

while u , still oblivious as ever , think u r doing a nice thing by giving matthew a heads up abt the fact jiwoong is coming over , poor poor matt thinks u r so cruel .... not only r u fucking his #1 arch enemy , you're also rubbing it into his face like its nothing ?!

clearly , the most reasonable thing for matthew would be just leaving for a walk or something until u r done with whatever u need to do . except matthew is anything but reasonable , n as much as he hates to admit it he does get off to the thought of jiwoong having u all to himself n fucking u in another room while matt cant even look at u , let alone join in .

which is why he'll probably find himself right beside ur door , listening to ur moans as jiwoong fucks u and desperately jerking off to all the sounds u let out . maybe in the hopes of either u or jiwoong catching him once u r done .. he wouldn't mind getting punished for being a dirty little perv :3

also the last thing u said REALLL SO REAL

[sanderssidesthehouse]

Casual observer of your gradual slip into obsession with Anxceit so I'm wondering if we could get your shipinions? (For the ask meme.)

I would love to give my shipinions!

I actually wasn't that into them until I started making those playlists (master post, anxceit link), but now I can't stop myself. There's just so much, so many possibilities, and no answers to be had (yet).

They are currently exes to me. It could be healthy, it could be toxic, it could be left in the past. Something I've said before that I think it sums it up well: "Maybe it's about what was. Maybe it's about what could have been. Maybe it's about what is. Maybe it's about what could never be."

All I know is that it's devastating and tragic but also has the potential to be the most beautiful love story you've ever seen. And if not, I'm a fan of toxic yaoi, too. I literally can't lose.

Another quote from me: "I absolutely need to know what Virgil’s deal with Janus is and if it’s anything like my theories bc there are so many ways that could go, all of which being angsty and fun. Like did Virgil assume something and spiral? Could Janus not manage to tell the truth when it was important? Was it a single incident or many? I am unwell about them."

I think it would be amazingly angsty if after all this time they still knew each other best. Like maybe they don't know each others current favorite foods or movies, but they know each others deepest fears and how to calm each other down and what each others most formative moments were. I like the idea of them having deeply entrenched history.

They are prime for 'bad thing happens and suddenly you're the person I turn to and it's different now but I never stopped loving you and we'll have to work through that all later, but for now please just hold me' or 'we still have a lot to unpack but I trust you with this thing that is important to me bc I know you can and will do it'.

Them both having protecting roles is very interesting and it would make so much sense if that's why they had a falling out in the first place. I explored one possibility of what that would look like in Why Do I, excerpt here: "The thing about Deceit- Janus- Self Preservation, whatever you wanted to call him, was that he had one singular agenda: Make sure Thomas gets what he needs and then what he wants, regardless of who he has to cut through to do it. And so, once upon a time, Virgil ended up with a knife in his back."

A second excerpt: "And whenever something happening to Thomas would make Virgil freak out, Janus would have Thomas lie it away." I wrote while thinking about how lying can affect anxiety and Anxiety. When you lie, there's always the chance of getting caught, which can potentially be more stressful than the thing you lied about, and if you get caught too many times, it's the boy who cried wolf which would also be a very anxiety inducing situation bc what if you really need someone to believe you?

There's also the fact that this would increase avoidant behavior. Janus CANNOT defer to Virgil if he wants to keep c!Thomas safe bc long term that would be disastrous to his health. Sometimes things that are good for you are scary. But this in particular is related mostly to their jobs so they shouldn't be taking it personally, especially since 'dark' sides know better than anyone that they can't help what their jobs are, they just have to do them.

I feel like I'm just going to end up talking a really long time only to end up no where, so I'll end this here, but absolutely ask me specific questions if you want to know what I think bc I have so many thoughts.

[xaieia]

Candies and curses will be alive even in 2025... The work you do for this gandom

Anyway, some Molly headcanons?

aww I'm flattered thank you

now come off anon so i can thank you personally bc srsly getting this ask warmed my heart

I honestly feel like I don't do enough publicly sometimes since most of the stuff I do rn is writing which I don't post, but hopefully I'll have some more stuff for everyone next year.

still, Thank You :'>

anyway, Molli HCs

13

Bi (solely bc her hair looks like the bi flag and nothing else lol)

Actually isn't interested in a candymaking job but stays there for a bit to make sure Candy King recovers to a decent mental state, then lets Benny take over the role.

Closest with Lilly out of all the mansion residents, because they both have an interest in magic , but also pretty close with Benny

Despite being very popular at school she chooses to keep a pretty small circle of close friends and is just pals with most other people

Likes sour candies the most (though of course, she will take almost any candy you offer her lol)

She's been friends with Suzie for less than 3 years (otherwise she would've met Olly prior, I imagine) but they're already very close

Doesn't have a concrete idea of what she wants to do in the future (but like she's got time so it's fine)

Being in the manor did scar her (mentally) a little, but she tries not to show it and mostly deals with it on her own (but Olly's there to support her too)

She's also pretty stubborn but unlike Hector it's not in an unconstructive way, more in a "she will follow her stated goals to the end no matter" she's fine with switching stuff up until she finds something that works

I think she ended up keeping most of the weapons and charms she got in the manor but gave a few away to other people (generally Olly or the other manor residents)

still maintains some sort of contact with Hector and Paige though not as much due to obvious reasons

And as I am a Molliver shipper I must spread my Molliver agenda

Molli was the one who fell first

[inchidentally]

ouuhh that's not…

I swear I read it three times and looked through their blog hoping they were joking alfhaslfkh nope

BUT I do not want anyone to engage with this so I'm hiding the link - not just because it's ridiculous but because the best way to confine rpf ship drama is to leave it alone. (edit: so I lied abt this asofgsalfga I did reply to one person but only bc they put it in the main tags) I don't rly like blocking but I also don't want to have to create a million filtered tagged posts on my dash - and tbh I don't think anyone I've blocked will care anyway. this way I can still see carlando content for fun but none of the fandom nonsense.

I'm mostly posting this bc up til now I rly wanted to set aside the behavior of the fandom to continue enjoying carlando content but I just can't be bothered anymore. between the larrying and the rampant, disgusting casual misogyny - and ofc the competing with which friendship or fake ship blorbo 1 and 2 are "happier" with asgfjsalfglja. and it's not just this latest thing I get sent tweets and posts abt whole agendas to "prove" that Lando isn't "happy" with Oscar/Martin/insert man who is currently considered threatening to their concepts of Lando's relationships. some ppl even friendzone Max F and Lando and pretend Carlos means more to Lando than him so there's no limits to the insanity.

so for me atp there just isn't enough about carlando to make it worth constantly being reminded that the way too many of it's fans truly believe that these are two men are either as close to each other as they are to their real, acknowledged close friends and/or in a secret gay relationship, that their girlfriend(s) are cold-hearted PR plants/escorts rigged by an evil all-controlling PR department and once the blorbos are freed of homophobic forces (oh god Carlos' old tweets tiktokboom) they can finally have the kind of toxic heteronormative version of a queer relationship that is right with the universe.

like, rpf is only meant to be for fun and more important it is meant to be kept away from anyone involved/the general public !! but when ppl's delu results in the actual women these men choose as their partners being at best aggressively cropped out of pictures and videos* and at worst stalked, harassed, their families and employers harassed, abuse and slander left in comments sections on popular social media and team pages - yea carlando laughing together sometimes and slowed down bro hugging isn't enough lol

it’s also slightly the fact that if you picked a bunch of Lando’s reactions to Carlos and Daniel and no one knew context clues then no one would be able to tell which one he’s reacting to. Carlos/Daniel teases Lando, Lando shriek laughs and goes red, James Corden style gay innuendo, slightly tense undercurrent of men wanting to one up each other with jokes, iterations of bromance that are half sincere and half for the cameras, hashtag hashtag. Lando goes to Daniel's ranch on a whim, dando is special. Lando goes to Carlos' sister's huge society wedding, carlando is special. Lando's family likes Lando which makes carlando special. Lando and Daniel share mutual friends outside of racing which makes dando special. like, it's the same dynamic just rotated around at different times. I enjoy both ships to a certain degree but I'm kind of mystified at ppl choosing to see them as super deep and meaningful and worth fighting over.

side note g o d do I fully embrace that ppl who do these ship competitions and larrying nonsense have ZERO interest in landoscar bc we love Lily and support Lando in his many probable conquests - and bc the Lando and Oscar dynamic isn't a big bromance for the cameras and has no fake gay for fangirl consumption.

like yes pls absolutely consider landoscar inferior to carlando if it means they stay away from inventing conspiracy theories and saying they "just have a bad feeling" about Lily and start attributing everything Lando has achieved to his teammate instead of himself.

also I could be SO incredibly mean using charlos vs carlando and the difference between PR and the public trying to tear one apart but it persisting vs PR and the public being a major factor in the other persisting at all. or the fact that charlos does everything ppl want carlando to do. but there's no point spending more time on people who think that two adult men - who've both said they're as much rivals as friends and the bromance is more what the public sees - are laughing in metrically different and lesser degrees of happiness with their new teammates vs a former teammate.

like, as long as I can now not be exposed to those opinions then they have a perfect right to express them. god knows I'm not saying my blogs is worth a damn but at least I don't trash anyone's gf or try to stunt on other rpf ships for no reason

tl;dr I'm p much done trying to make carlando worthwhile for me to rb or post about. I enjoy seeing it on my dash for myself but that's it! no one will be affected by this change lafhlsahf

*I know there are a few ppl out there who do this bc they have a no-private life policy on their blogs and that's np. they aren't die hard carlando fans tho.

[j2zara]

for the ask game!! 📚 💭 👖

Sorry these took all day i've been out and Tired as hell but thank u!

📚 Do you read your own fic?

I try to not feel embarrassed that the answer is yeah bc like I think if other ppl reread their own work it would make sense!!!! Like I would not judge at all and honestly co-sign rereading ur own shit. I literally tell ppl that the reason I write is bc like. It’s basically the chance to craft your own perfectly tailored special interest to share with others. So like. Why wouldn’t I like it? (And this was especially true when I was trying to write original stuff which is why it’s so frustrating I never finish anything. But also a little true now too. This whole weird cloneverse was the product of my dumb thought experiment “what if the clones were people who had the capacity to be just as tragic as Jace). It’s got everything I like in it. I try to tell myself anyway. In practice it’s like. Argh.I kinda go through periods where I like. And this is usually after I JUST posted. Wanna do other things but end up distracting myself by rereading the thing I just made over and over. And then I forget it exists and often in my mind it’s like. Oh I don’t wanna read that i think bc I have residual feelings of like. Idk embarrassment I guess? Like I convince myself it’s old and probably bad but sometimes when I’m glancing at old things I write for. Refresher purposes (usually on cloneverse lol) I end up getting suckered back into rereading it like oh hey is this actually. Good?

Anything older I mostly haven’t looked at in a while bc idk. I’m very hard on my old self. I did reread my Reddie sky high au thing and went. Hm this is actually fun I like this. Most of my IT stuff is like. Ok I think? This is kinda related but I JUST got a comment on a talent swap I wrote for DR and I literally haven’t updated the thing since 2018 and I feel so bad for abandoning it but. Part of it is bc I think if I were to come back to it I would wanna redo some of the old chapters and I feel so pained looking at the early chapters. I keep telling myself I’ll get to it. My Mukuro and Hiro proxy sibling agenda deserves it, they deserve to be best friends so bad, I’m sad I abandoned them. 

💭 What is a headcanon you have about your own work?

This is such a funny question bc I’m such a goddamn blabbermouth so I feel pretty confident that I’ve already posted so much cringe abt the headcanons for cloneverse. Like. Technically J3’s personality started as a headcanon in that i was like “oh, Porter was flirting with J3 the entire time he was falling in love with J2”. 99% of the time if i feel compelled to say it i will just say it? Actually you know what? I just thought of one that might be kinda schmaltzy and i feel bad for not saying its a 100% certainty but in my heart Ankarna grants all the clones some form of true life but it would probably be some fucked genie deal where its like there’s a reincarnation au or something. Like they have to find each other again or something. Very Hadestown Orphydice anybody got a match coded. Genuinely b/c J4 wishes she was never Of Jace she gets what she wants and its like good/bad. Bc i can never stop putting the clones in the torment nexus I don’t know if that’s completely stupid

👖 Are you a planner, plantser, or pantser? Is it consistent?

I try so hard to be a planner bc I’m so frustrated by my pantser process. Like. Idk i tend to just ride momentum but without foresight you end up going in directions that can be kinda formless and completely wrong and idk. I have such hard time finishing things b/c of this i think. But when I try to plan I’m also so bad at it i don’t think I’ve ever finished a real and true outline before I start. I want to be the kind of person that has clean outlines but. Idk. So by default I guess I’m a plantser bc I do have docs full of notes but my notes are always super messy and like. Idk what I’m doing evolves so much while I work that half the time the notes end up not even accurate to what I’m aiming for. Worst of both worlds life

[almostvermin]

who wants loredrops/outline for my shizumafu actor au thats not about shizuku or mafuyu in the slightest (it is shuffle units. yes it is lovin beats and yes they live together

chapter one: the you i recall

shiho pov (wednesday)

minoshiho hanging out, chatting

mino playing project diva, shiho mostly watching (just being comfy in each others presence)

shiho remembers ichi

regrets being so preoccupied w/ someone who just went offline during the few times shizuku was home

winces at the mental mention of shizuku

between perfect grades, perfect looks on stage and camera, and a perfect personality, shiho's rough aggression and fading passion fell flat

not the best sister to have for your mental health

however hsihos also a shitty sister in return

rememebrs she hasnt called shizuku in months

decides to try and call her that evening

two hours later

mino attempting to help hona cook. failing.

shiho escapes the smoke and remembers to call shizukus private number (reminded by terrible cooking)

voicemail

fuck. try again

leave a voicemail this time. hey sis im sorry we havent caught up recently id like to talk if you have the time via text is ok too i just want to make sure youre ok yknow after you looked after me for so long and like i know were not as close as we couldve been and im sorry for that yeah? ok cool uh text me whenever i'll make it work around your schedule

fuck she rambled and got choked up

mizuki enter. heard all of it. you ok bud

no but its whatever because minori is burning down the kitchen

mizuki suggests heading out for the evening. shiho would like that but is expecting mizuki to suggest shopping (painful when you hate mirrors bc all you see is a flawed half baked version of your sister)

mizuki suggests live house instead. happens that its one of the ones they perform at sometimes. wink

ok alright lessgo??

chapter two (the regret i hold so dear)

shiho pov (wednesday)

standout performance.

shiho does NOT WANT them to see her

vbs performence.

shiho does NOT WANT saki to see her. mizuki wants to catch up with an and because they also perform here sometimes noone questions it when mizuki drags shiho into the performers area

mizuki and an chat, an and shiho exchange a few words

saki and shiho eye each other warily and keep their distance

unforch for everyone iori wants to get involved

tono twins agenda. iori gets into an argument w/ akito about arata. saki steps in and yells at iori for like. three minutes.

shiho very quickly and visibly remembers how hot saki is and proceeds to ignore that.

iori sulks off and spots shiho just standing next to mizuki w/ nothing to do

proceeds to pick a fight bc shiho wouldnt join standout

shiho Cannot Do This today and pretty much just takes it until saki comes along and points out mio is RIGHT THERE BABES chill out

shiho thanks saki and saki returns it with a "this doesnt mean i like you i still hate your guts"

why wtf did i do i thought we just drifted apart

do you not remember what happend to ichika. its like at least a third your fault.

WHAT HAPPENED TO ICHIKA??

ooooooo did you not know. fuck. uh bye toya save me (vbs drag an and haruka away from their gossip sesh w/ mizook)

they get back and minokoha are like yall went to a vbs live w/o us?? traitors?? but shiho shoves past them

shiho texts saki like tenma what happened tell me rn or i'll ask hoshino ans sakis like yeah babes u might have problems w/ that

they call saki cries shiho comes very close to it

they agree to keep it from honami which is kinda hard bc lvb practically live in the same house with three rooms and paper thin walls (they do all visit their parents still for like two or three weeks like yall they aint graduated) (theres more deets about this but its in a google doc somewhere)

chatper 3 (dead in the water)

kohane pov (thursday)

kohane figures something Is Up with shiho and goes to look for her

overly detailled description of The House (honakoha room, mizumino room, shiho room, kitchen, one bathroom one bathroom + shower) (shiho gets a solo room bc shes there pretty much full time. mizukis also there a lot and minoris not so they share)

shiho is Not In The House

kohane texts the gc all panicked and no-ones seen her

she runs around all nearby livehouses and cafes looking for shiho (it is raining though and also like 2pm)

finds shiho fucking drenched, phone dead, sitting in a bus stop. she looks like she hasnt felt an emotion in weeks

she sees kohane and looks like shes about to cry

they sit in the bus stop for a long while and talk about a lot of stuff and shiho doesnt mention shizuku but kohane knows, somehow, and

and when they'd sat for long enough and the bus never came, kohane took her hand - rough and calloused, nails cracked and chipped, made for punching walls and tearing apart people and smashing hearts like glass - in hers - smooth like silk, soft and warm, nails delicately painted in two colours, a light pink and a crimson, alternaiting, made for taking photographs and scrapbooking and writing calligraphy, hands that had vollenteered to join something so fleeting and passionate and violent at its core that it might break everyone involved just like it did before, apparently - and she realised she was staring, just as shiho was. this tiny flame between them, that they'd ignored long enough. in all honesty, shiho was the reason she ever got involved in this. [insert recalling ans first performance here and how fuckn. scared she was.] she sighed. "c'mon, babes. lets get you home."

"wait is mizukis slang rubbing off on you. fuck no no no." cue laughing

kohane, tiny hampter she is, drags back this big ass sopping wet wolf and forces said wolf to shower and eat a proper meal. showering not pictured because this is kohane pov and kohane much as she is gay is not a creep

chapter four (could we rest on common ground)

shiho pov (sunday)

mizuki drags shiho out of the house (where she has been moping pm since thursday) to a party. not her style but wtv

mizukis only going bc of an, shiho learns.

however an dragged out akito because she didnt know if mizuki was going or not.

mizuan frolick off to go get drunk (theyre both just about 18 dwdw this is set in early november) leaving akito and shiho behind

they stand there awkwardly holding red solo cups for a minute. ok well shiho has a can of beer but akito has a red solo cup.

wait why. hes still 17. shiho simply does not bring up the fact she is also 17.

they begin to gossip. shihos never met arata and wants to know about iori's "dumb gay twin", in iori's words. (ignore that iori is also gay and dumb). akito only talks about arata in the sense that he is a massive fucking bastard

by this point he decides actually yeah i need a drink

he briefly mentions that souma gave toya sampling lessons (see: walk on and on) and he has to be at least partially greatful to arata for introducing the two bc yknow while toya is amazing (quick gay tangent. shiho turns into homophobic dog meme.) he wouldnt be as confident to become the groups offical composer if souma hadnt helped

then he asks how shiho knows iori anyway and shiho explains she works as a stand-in bassist at live houses pretty frequently (which akito didnt know bc he mostly frequents voice only live houses rather than those w/ live music) and got to know iori's band pretty well, though not as much mio bc she was standing in for mio. this became more frequent and shiho finds out that mio just up and quit the band because her and iori were going through a rough patch, and iori invited (read: demanded) shiho join, which she refused

akito asks how she knows saki and if theyre on speaking terms yet (he wants to collab he thinks this emo bassist is cool (read: he made a friend) (this is rare)) and shiho thinks they are? they met in middle school right before saki was in hospital but they drifted apart as soon as she got out because the friend that was holding them together (dont say commited suicide girlirpops. brain-mizuki stfu) ditched them. (thats not better girl. brain-mizuki stfu)

they talk about music (akito infodumps about radder) and decide yeah that collab would be cool. (ignore the fact that kohane and minori will faint on the spot.)

the two talk for a while longer, eventually conversations turn to akito complaining about his sister (ena we know her we love her). shiho tells him to be greatful that his sister is around and returns his calls. akito responds that is sounds like they have diffrent types of dysfunctional siblings, which gets a giggle out of her. (when was the last time she laughed, properly?)

mizuan turn up, shitfaced and covered in hickeys. akishiho grimace at each other and take their respective lesbian. b4 they leave, shiho just about works up the courage to grab akitos number under the guise of that potential collab (made a friend) and on the way back mumbles something about if you (mizuki) throw up in my bed again i am ditching you on the street.

chapter 5: normalicy is changing, for the both of us.

shizuku pov

finally finds time to call shiho back

uh uh uh write this later (havent planned very thouroughly but there are Vibes)

they talk about like. futile things. to distract themselves from just how broken their relationship is.

chapter six: trust me, baby, you'll do fine

mizuki pov

i have no clue what happens here but chapter two was supposed to be mizook pov but i changed it to shiho and we need a mizook pov

note: must be at night. like 11pm maybe?

they are In the Kitchen. shiho is making depression ramen at 11pm

everyone is "asleep" (phone time in bed) and mizuki goes to get water (talk to shiho somewhat privately)

mizuki calls out shiho on avoiding honami and asks her why shiho is edging around the topic and mizuki decides not to push it because she can read people unlike everyone else in this fucking house

oh and shiho refuses to talk about shizuku

on that platonic mizushiho agenda folks

mizushiho hug scene. btw.

end it off with a "wait theres some people id like you to meet" (jumpscare the readers w/ discord next week)

chapter seven: don't think too hard about it

shiho pov (sorta)

got added to a nightcord server by mizuki (who thought it would cheer her up)

kanade (k), ena (not clickbait!!), mizuki (qt pie), airi (professional h8ter) <- spelling intentional on my part but not airis, mafuyu (anonymous), minori (riririn), honami (k's bbg) <- set by mizuki and she doesnt have the heart to change it, shiho (bunny) <- name changed by mizuki and she cant switch it back bc no admin

chatfic style

chill chapter. no sads.

mafuyu primerially responds via a single multisyllabaic word

ena and airi flirt in general and mizuki tells them theyre too single to be in a server with TWO yuris

chapter eight: connections like a web of lies

mino pov

shiho is texting akito (bc they friends now :D)

minori is a spying bitch and leans over her shoulder only to discover that shiho is texting her cousion

wtf shiho??

the explaination "we were chaperoning lesbians at a party together" makes even less sense

she messages akito like "hey dude are you friends with an emo bassist with light blue hair" and hes like "yeah the one in your band" and shes like "were you chaperoning lesbians together??" and hes like "thats one way of putting it i have a photo one sec" and minoris like "SINCE WHEN IS YOUR HAIR NEON ORANGE???" and hes like "since i dyed it like. four years ago. yknow to look more like the rest of the family" and she is shellshocked then it hits her "wiat youre shinonome from vbs" and hes like "were you not going to shows to support me" and shes like "no im there to simp after kiritani haruka the same as i have been since i was like. five." and hes like "oh yeah i forgot youre a chronic lesbian"

shiho is fucking wheezing this is the funniest shit shes seen all week

(note: ena is ginger in this and shiho has light blue hair not grey. cool? cool.)

chapter nine: we'll be alright as long as we keep on trying

shiho pov

shiho and shizuku meet up in person

they talk about when they were kids, and how everythings changed

shizuku laments how she has to be here in disguise and wishes she could just be more open with everyone

shiho asks after mafuyu eventually and shizuku starts rambling like a lovesick victorain

"so the rumors are true then" "i dont go on twitter for a reason shii"

shiho mentions the way the bills are split (i.e. she pays a third of everything and hasnt told anyone) and how she hates decieving people. "and when they move in properly, because they probably will, im gonna have to tell them all and theyll be upset with me for lying."

shizuku doesnt have an anwser for her but tells her she will never have to worry about the amount as long as shes alive.

when shiho gets home shizukus wired her more than enough to make six months of rent

chapter ten: ghost girl dancing on the rooftop with me

august 10th. saki pov.

texts shiho pretty much outta the blue.

"hey, tomorrow is her birthday. she'd be turning 18. i've been celebrating it for her, would you like to join me?"

they go to the gravesite with gifts for her. saki brings a phenny plushie and champange (it is her 18th birthday after all) and shiho brings a (recent) miku album and a geranium boquet (https://static.miraheze.org/projectsekaiwiki/b/b3/4koma_60_en.jpg)

they do a toast to what couldve been and pour three glasses. bittersweet yknow.

they play the miku album (they figure she hasnt heard it yet)

there isnt any flowers or a wreath from her parents. they came at night, too, so they had the whole day. saki figures they just pushed her to the back of their minds and forgot. "just like they did when she was alive".

they almost have a gay moment but saki stops it and tells shiho that "not here, not today."

chapter eleven: revealed in an instant

shiho works hard to cover her tracks but life360 works harder

honami pov

making food at 2am. (everytime she adds an ingredient, the voice in her head says something like "im going to hell" "im a glutton" "ill be wider than i am tall b4 long" even though shes literally making egg fried rice)

shiho comes back from graveyard. its like 2am. honami is cutting spring onions for the egg fried rice.

she wouldnt meet her gaze, keeping her back facing the door. "why are you back so late?" "i- i cant tell you." "why not?" "i promised." "promised who?" "i cant tell you that either. i wish i could, hona, but-" honami sighed, setting down her knife, and sprinking thinly sliced spring onions over the two bowls of egg friend rice. it'd always been her go-to comfort food. "sit down, shiho. we need to talk."

and they talk. honami pokes about why shihos been avoiding her and it takes very little poking for shiho to come clean about it all (saki and ichika)

honami stared down at her bowl. she'd barely touched it. "go to bed, shiho." "are you sure? you look like you could use some company." "yeah. yeah, i'm sure." shiho squeezed her shoulder as she walked past, and honami waited until she heard the lights click off before practically sprinting to the sink, gripping it like a life support, staring at her reflection in the muddy water. (the sink, of course, was soaking a cast-iron pan that minori had managed to set on fire.)

well, this was her reflection. a girl who barely squeezed by as "chubby" and couldn't do anything right and who's grades plummeted the moment she tried to do anything else with her life who barely fucking graduated and is currently trying to keep it together and make ends meet with her failing band and her part-time job and her girlfriend (yet another thing wrong about her) that she didn't deserve and is now a murderer.

she wished she couldve been born right, or maybe just not been born at all, but she was here now and she had to stay positive. just until their big break.

i havent planned the rest of it yet but. teehee :3

[briskunt]

honestly? yeah I would believe you

oh hell ya bc i am surprisingly passionate about this

i’m going to be real i understand vtubing is mostly based on idols, right? but i feel like the designs of models and how hard people lean into them is very reminiscent of drag artistry because of how impossible they are irl. i regularly see fuufuuchan in different appearances or presentations—legatus, archivist, alan, all forms of ovidia just to start—and like, the experimentation of gender and presentation through different characters itches something in my head that screams character comedy king a la jarvis hammer

and it goes on too. it’s very easy to see gavis bettel as a drag king. ironmouse as a fashion queen due to her many models. i see vtubers regularly drop music, do dances once they’re 3d/on games, y’all’re two lip syncs away from a pageant sometimes i swear

of course there’s intersections as well like ike and aia being drag race fans. i love seeing those two and their interpretation of gender! because vtuber models allow fashion that wouldn’t be possible in real life as WELL as the divide between the real world (flesh) and digital (vtuber) it allows a lot of room for people to be glamorous and interpret or critique gender (and other subjects) through that. for example ike’s crossdressing in flesh and in his vrchat model isn’t with an agenda in mind but makes his audience reconsider what their own definition of masculinity is. aia’s latest outfit is very inspired by magical girls and more specifically the military (style!!!) influence of their outfits and that goes hand in hand with how the lore associated can very easily be considered a statement on mental and physical disability. and so performing her own gender in an outfit that is influenced by the magical girl genre (which gets pretty sapphic pretty fast), military style (which alludes to strength, obedience, vigilance, etc), and invisible disability is So drag dude

hm. maybe i should make a post on aia’s lore and disability idk

anyways one of those two does his own thing regardless of heteronormative rules of gender because he wants to, not because there’s any underlying message about it, and that is a valid and real performance of gender. the other has a story associated with a look that bends heteronormative gender and advocates for a cause, and that is a valid and real performance of gender. and considering how drag is ultimately a critique of gender as well as society, people, etc through gender presentation, ya. they’re doing drag

i’m a believer that lip syncs are the foundation of drag but not a requirement. drag is fundamentally entertainment in general. so that’s how you get drag artists like divine who was mostly an actress but also did music. i’d also argue chappell roan, orville peck, lady gaga, lil nas x and dolly parton also fall under the umbrella of drag bc of how they incorporate their appearance into performance, and ofc bc they were also inspired by drag

so like, when i see unnämed’s 3d debut, what is fundamentally different from adore delano singing and playing music in drag. at some point we have to recognize things like changing colors, flame effects, etc are all extremes that contribute to an overall Look

and i won’t lie, i don’t have a lot of accessible drag near me so boulet brothers’ dragula is my favorite show. so we see artists in all sorts of entertainment fields: music, stand-up, stunts, fashion, acting, dance, merchandising, modeling, comedy, art, hell even ttrpgs. i can think of more than a few vtubers that have done or regularly do these things. if you dig biqtch puddin’s digital drag show streams then boy do i have news for you, as well as the many other drag artists that do youtube or streams

and if you REALLY want to get into the gender theory of it all then porcelainmaid is RIGHT THERE.

if you see drag artistry as putting on a character then doppio dropscythe, vox akuma, twisty amanozako, fulgur ovid, and pretty much every holo vtuber would count (and to a lesser degree every corporate vtuber)

if you see drag artistry as an element of an entertainer’s performance then mori calliope, finana ryugu, ren zotto, aster arcadia and uki violeta would count

if you see drag artistry as aesthetic/style of the person behind the screen then k9kuro, quinn benet’s vtuber model, cyyu, randon neuring, and porcelainmaid would count

but the point i’m trying to get at here is that drag blends appearance and entertainment together by satirizing or emphasizing gender, right? and that can be entertaining through all sorts of mediums which includes standard vtuber activities like streams. of course it’s up to the vtuber themself to declare themself a drag artist or not but if i woke up tomorrow and saw gawr gura added “bio queen” to her twitter bio i… really would not be surprised

so if someone could edit the “after a long night of hooking” audio on top of zali’s debut lore i’d appreciate it

[purplebirdsees]

Warm-up 1: Whatever - Part 1

Hello! I am Citron! Yes, again!

Remember my notes? If yes, good job! If no, why?

Thanks!

(citronslation: basically, this is kind of an excerpt of this piece of fiction, written by my boy tsuzuru. you don’t need to read it to understand this one but pls do bc quality of life u get me yeah. ok. thanks.)

(footnotes were not made by tsuzuru, unless stated otherwise) (theyre mostly itaru)

Children, without exaggeration, are horrible beings.1

It’s always those kids you just stumble on, maybe in a convenience store, or in an absurdly long line from the cash register, or even during church, especially during Sunday Church (my parents aren’t Catholic, but my grandparents father’s side is). As soon as I step foot on the Church’s white and gold tiled floor, my immediate response is to look around on every single pew for someone who may look like my age. I’d feel relief if they were sitting out of sight, but if they weren’t.… Well, usually, I’d try to avoid eye contact as much as I can, but whenever I accidentally glance at them, they’d always have that smug look, with the straightest posture, and the loudest, most obnoxious singing. Sometimes, when they’re near enough for me to hear, I’d catch a few words they’d whisper loudly to their parent. Usually, it would be along the lines of, ‘We’re going to (insert fast food chain name here) after this, right?’ like it added to this nonexistent leader board on who is the best kid in Church.2

I could go on and on about my horrible Church experiences, but somehow, none of those were the ones that struck a nerve more than that one time in a bookstore.

It was a week before classes started, and as much as my parents wanted to scrounge as much of last year’s school materials, the pens and notebooks either had only a sliver left of its use or was completely depleted. Mom had to double check it though, as she gathered all we had in a cardboard box. After her third inspection, she said she could debone the frayed used notebooks to separate as much of the blank papers to make new notebooks. Which was the reason why she decided that dad was the one who should do the shopping instead, which in the end he did do, but we had to try to convince her that the old and used were completely unusable and should be left to retire. After a few prying and pleading, we were able to sell the whole box to the waste courier.

I was appointed to go with dad to the bookstore; the others had to help mom with the kitchen… and to make sure she won’t chase the waste courier and end up blending up all the notebooks into a pulp to make new paper.

She did this before, but her faux notebooks were extremely unusable because the paper was too thick, and for some reason, felt a little wet and made the ink bleed into the pages. During the first week of classes, my school bag smelled of wet dog, and every time I had to take down notes, I wish I didn’t. The moldy smell would make my seatmates turn their heads away from my direction. Even the resident class clown once remarked how ugly the cover of my notebook was, saying it looked like his grandmother’s post-chicken pox skin, puss and all. One afternoon, just as I was about to arrive home after school, I remember passing by Tadoru and Meguru sitting by the riverside, their backs hiding their guilt ridden yet determined faces. At that point I knew, and the absence of the wet, moldy dog fur smell was enough evidence.

Like an unspoken vow, we made sure we never, under any circumstance, let mom DIY anything. 3

-----

1 Understatement. They’re dickheads, actual hellspawn. I have never met a kid who was genuinely kind, they ALWAYS have an agenda at the back of their pea-sized brains. I’m qualified to say this because I’ve been a tutor example? Sure, but im tired so no (actuallly I don’t have to prove myself you literally juST READ A PRIME EXAMPLE WHY)

2 When they say yes, ding-ding-ding! Wow! His parents ACTUALLY love him enough to buy him food! As if that isn’t the lowest bar, bare minimum a parent should do f[word redacted due to profanity] mot[word redacted due to profanity] why don’t I f[words redacted due to vulgar language] mom then once im your step dad ill kick[words redacted due to vulgar language] space until yo[words redacted due to vulgar language]eath

3 [tsz] wording feels awkward/weird

part 2

[subskz]

How we thinking about pegging skz? Hmmm??? Any thoughts maybe?

- 🌼

many thoughts indeed hehe not sure if you meant which of the boys would be most into it or what it’d be like for each of them but here are my ramblings

i think felix minho and jisung would like it the most! lix loves feeling small and completely under your control so positions where he’s at your mercy and exposed (like full nelson) would be really exciting to him, but he’d definitely need to be holding your hand or gripping on to you in some way the whole time, he wants to be wrecked and used but he’s still an affectionate clingy baby <3 definitely the type to wrap his legs around your waist if he’s under you

with lino, maybe it’s just my spoiled rotten pillow princess minho agenda talking but i think that when he subs, he’d be a huge bottom bc in his mind if he’s gonna be that vulnerable for you then he deserves to be rewarded for it. he’d have little shame abt whining for you to do all the work, laying there without lifting a finger for your pleasure or his own…that’s simply the price of getting him pliant for you (plus he looks and sounds so pretty how can you really resist ♡)

i see jisung as very needy and desperate in a pitifully endearing way but he’s also quite a pleaser so i think he’d like riding you the most, he’s a natural born entertainer after all he loves to put on a show for you 💞 you holding his tiny waist as he bounces on your lap and basks in your attention would be ideal for him, though there will always be times where he overwhelms himself and starts begging for you to step in and help him out hehe

i think chan, binnie, and hyunjin would be a bit more hesitant at first mostly due to shyness. channie especially has a hard time receiving pleasure without feeling guilty abt it so it’d take a bit of reassurance on your part, and binnie might have to battle it out w his pride a lil bit lmao 😭 i think all 3 of them would still really enjoy it though…binnie would turn into the whiniest baby on earth he wouldn’t be able to get enough of all the focus you’re putting on him. knowing that you get off on seeing him like this would do wonders for his ego, it’d make him feel so special and loved esp if you’re praising him and doting on him every step of the way

channie would be more of a flustered blushing giggling mess than usual but i fully believe he would enjoy being cared for like that. similarly to bin it’d make him feel so loved, it isn’t often he gets to let loose like that and rely on someone else. sweet baby would like it very soft and gentle, he’s already barely holding it together so don’t tease him too much 🥰 he’d have a very hard time looking at you though haha expect a lot of hiding behind his hands or burying his face in ur neck

and as for hyunie once he lets go of his initial embarrassment he’s absolutely hooked. it doesn’t take long for him to forget any misgivings and become a complete…well, whore for you, esp if you get a lil rough with him 😽 bend him over and tug at his hair while you take him from behind and he’s a goner, gasping and moaning and rutting into the mattress with absolutely zero shame

jeongin and seungmin might be a little less open to it, esp seungmo bc he can be pretty shy and reluctant to be vulnerable in his own way (not so much emotionally, more in the sense where he doesn’t want to appear as anything less than composed) plus he straight up refuses to do things sometimes if he thinks it’ll be embarrassing lmao 😭 he would likely prefer a position where he’s facing away from you to avoid getting flustered, like laying on his tummy so he can push his head into the pillows to muffle his moans hehe. all in all probably not his favorite thing~

in yeni’s case i think he’d be more willing than seungmin. he’s shyshyshy but he’s also very curious and very eager to please, so he’d definitely wanna try it at least once, even if he feels a lil awkward abt it. his reactions would be super cute, your every move would make him jump and gasp and let out breathy lil sheepish laughs <3 i think he’d like it from time to time but would probably prefer topping

[tofumedic]

hewo! for the affections number.. 16 is so cute.. would u be able to do headcanons of all the demon bros with it? if not, can u pls do levi then !

The Brothers + Simeon with #16!

16. taking a photo of them smiling or in their element

(lucifer's is here from a previous ask! and bc of that i added simeon only for having some lil funnies i hope you dont mind <3!!!)

Mammon

His collection is the largest, he flaunts it like collectables like cars or like Levi's figures. It is literally one of his biggest flexes and will use them like trading cards never wanting to send them in group chats or privately bc he took those ones get your own human >:(!

He will however hold his phone directly in one of their faces, waving the screen around to show how he has so many good ones.

He uses them for call screens, his lock screen, his home screen, any widget he can other than the Goldie one. He's a menace about it but do not call him out on it he will buy a second phone to use in the public.

Anyways, anyways for actually taking photos..

Mammon always takes too many, as in he will take a bunch within the same timespan because he doesn't trust his hands not to shake, so if he just takes a lot at one time so he can delete the others and save the best ones

But he just ends up keeping all of them, just favoriting the best or separating them into two albums of "valuables" and "treasures" depending on the quality.

Usually they will all have a small blur, him too excited at seeing whatever expression you wear, whether its a smile at seeing him purposely acting dumb or you enjoying a hobby.

He feeds a lot of unfiltered second hand serotonin off of you! Please do not disturb his "I have just had a very bad brotherly bonding experience, I must cope by looking at my photos of my human- No I'm not smiling already shut up"

Leviathan

Levi will use photos of you like wholesome memes so they carry the same energy as the hang in there cat poster, using different heart overlays and nice quotes

His are also a mixture of blurry but also high quality photos, for ones he takes.

This is because seeing you so dedicated or when you smile in his direction, his heart does this weird jumpstart the palpitations making him feel heavy yet light at the same time almost like a peach and its pit.

But he has a preference to use either this small tripod(he has it as a preparation for going to live shows) or a timer so its set away from him as he calls you over, its his own little trap.

His favorite, the majority of his collection, are those! It's photos of you being in frame with him in it as well because there's just something about how all that happiness of yours is completely focused on him, your smile as you walk over towards him sometimes blurry and mistimed so its only you entering the corner of the screen but you can tell how he takes your attention.

When getting in fights about who has the best photos, he will drop ones that are different hugs of him in your arms like he was a newly one plush. Mammon especially gets pissy about these as well as Belphie and Asmo.

If you can't turn your camera on when he calls or if he is locked in a raid that they're losing he would ask you for a selfie also, never requesting anything special other than just yourself but his favorite is when you send just smiles or videos of the which character are you filter :]!

Satan

Satan often tries to hide it, saying he's taking a photo of himself or checking his hair, maybe even going as far as saying the text on his study notes are too small so he has to hold it in front of his face so close.

Think about cowboys, shooting from the waist. That's him when you're too far away, maybe with a brother or during class or eating. He will scribble out his brother or purposely have the other cropped out of the shot.

He does have a lot of you when you're just turning around to face him and then your reaction, he can't resist the temptation of taking your attention when he's bored or waiting for his next book order to come in before he goes back to the cat behavior of only seeking out attention when he deems it necessary and otherwise pleased for a period of time.

He loves the ones where you look at him before he's ready, these are just slightly shaky from him jumping or pressing the button in an embarrassed panic at your smug yet happy expression.

Has definitely done the cut a hole in a newspaper and put his camera to it to look out like it was some camouflage but he's first, smiling much too hard and trying not to laugh at it, and second had seen it in multiple old movies and shows you had watched together.

Satan, speaking of movies, quite enjoys you in low light. On movie nights where your face is only illuminated by the projector screen and the photos turn out a bit grainy, there's something so romantic about you just existing in such an atmosphere. These ones he does like more when you're focused, looking far off with a small pleasant smile on your face at the soft plot of tonight's pick.

Asmodeus

Asmo will send you them all the time, he's like your own personal Devilgram manager he will even edit them for you and send the before and after of those photos too (MC: when did u take these??? Asmo: ,';p)

He will always have such good angles of you, from your side, from above or below, a 3/4, or full portrait, your silhouette. He may have one for each basic one at least though his favorites are above and below, these are the most personal feeling to him.

Usually these come as him trying to get your attention, bothering you with his phone and purposely leaving the little shutter noise on so you hear every single one while you're just trying to watch a DevilTube video or do something else.

Him snuggled into your side post cuddle just to lean up, phone in his hand and a menacing giggle, it's the first thing you see waking from your drowsy state is him on top of you trying to get cute pictures that he can use as teases as if something else was in progress.

Or ones where you roll on top of him, just trying to get up to see the dumb little flash as an alarm instead of his cute good morning kisses to your face(those are actually used to buy more time with you because he is allowed to be a little selfish as a treat)

He also has them set as his lockscreen and homescreen, these being photos of you together so he can have the best of both worlds, himself and your happy smiling face. He just finds it so cute, whenever you want an audience to see it he's in the first row.

Sends them to the group chat with his brothers to start some chaos

"My~ Isn't my dearest MC just the cutest?" Asmo has sent 28 attachments.

Beelzebub

His collection isn't one of the best out there but it is unique and keeps him content and happy, pleased.

He likes having photos of you for when you two are separated, it makes you feel closer to him and him to you

His may have some of the least blur, hands steady you work on something separately yet aware of the soft stare that was bearing into the side of your head.

He may forget sometimes about the sound so when you get the rare notification from his electronic betrayer it is free power to tease him, asking him if he wanted your attention or if he just took a photo of you and to be honest, then his photos if you let him continue for that setting are a little blurrier on your fine details. He's embarrassed.

He likes these more than ones with just your smile because then he isn't as satisficed because then he's thinking about how nice it looks in person and your laugh and when you let out a sigh being tired from your work, it'll be a cycle until he gives up and goes to see you in person.

But he likes the ones of you in your element very much and photos of you in general, saying that looking at them makes him feel "full"

He means to say complete, he's content and pleased and delighted and he has a reminder of you existing, that you're real and not a midnight sleep walk hallucination.

Belphegor

He has the smallest collection but next to rest, Beel, and his appearance he is mostly focused on capturing photos of you when he can.

He didn't get to really know you as long as his brothers have so its only fair he gets to spend more time with you than them until he's equal, and then some because you're really comfy and you make his twin happy? and then on top of that you make this face when you are concentrated and you smile different depending on if you're gonna laugh or if you're confident.

There's so much he has to memorize, he's rather demanding with having the attention so he may continue this personal agenda of his.

A lot of them are from similar angles, from laying with him in different positions but everything feeling relatively the same, normal. These are usually after he has woken up, not before he goes to bed so either it's your soft good morning smile, or your surprised "how long have you been awake" face, or you still asleep on your own.

Many of them often have his bed head just barely visible at the bottom, usually having laid on top of you and just using his selfie camera and angling it up to see you take up more of the screen.

For just being a pillow that moves a lot you definitely are photogenic.

He doesn't send his photos of you to chats but will save photos sent of you from everyone except Lucifer.

Simeon

PLEASE applaud.

It takes him such a long time, but Solomon gave him the idea saying it was something sweet you would also enjoy the concept of. So he is doing his best.

He will see you, just existing and his heart will swell, needing to pause a moment before kindly asking you to hold that thought and pose as he turns on his phone, maneuvering to the camera and trying to get it to focus on you perfectly.

It takes him a few minutes every time but he is getting better at it but his reaction is always the same, smiling at you showing up on his phone screen waiting for the picture to be taken.

He never can be sneaky about it unless he asks for help to get your photo, sending Luke on his biggest mission yet, a photo after he asks you what you thought of Simeon's cooking knowing you'll have that sweet face of genuine thought looking back on it.

But he has yet figured out how to turn the sound off and almost always accidentality flashes you up close, it's so bright.

He has the most blurry photos, and that's not on purpose but when he asks you to look at them with him so he can coo about how happy you look or how serious, its endearing with the blur especially as they clear up a bit continuing the timeline of photos.

He really does his best to have these mementos of you.

Is delighted when you surprise him by putting his favorite one of you as his home screen, he's so grateful let him match with you he wants to be yours too!

from this prompt list!

[pianjeong]

congressional debate zukka au

this is inspired by @owlsantuary‘s post i was a congressional debater in hs so here u go

sokka is captain of his school's debate team; he joined as a freshman bc he was like "a club that lets me expound on my opinions for five minutes straight? yes plz" and was good enough that he made captain as a sophomore when the previous one graduated

- the idea of "politicking" is really important in congressional bc it's how you get people to support your bills if you wrote them, or if you have a really good argument and want that bill to be higher on the docket (bc sometimes you run out of time)

- sokka absolutely OWNS at this bc he's that guy that everyone wants to be friends with and half the people he talks to don't even realize that he has an agenda

- he also makes actual friends with the people from rival schools bc that's just what he's like

- his assertiveness sometimes gets him into sticky situations bc ppl get offended by him cutting them off during question time, but it's usually bc theyre trying to run out the clock and he is NOT having that

- i always led tongue twister exercises at the start of every competition to get our voices warmed up and im imagining sokka and his team SHOUTING the "betty bought a bit of butter" one in the middle of the hallway and getting weird looks (if you haven't heard of it look it up it's HARD)

- he always gets full points for pathos (yes that's a real thing) bc he'll tell jokes abt his teacher dads or his sister but then he'll turn around and make his dumb joke into a big-picture argument about the value of education or something; sometimes it backfires though bc he makes a joke at the wrong time

- i think he’d struggle with arguing for opinions he doesn’t agree with…bc he has CONVICTIONS and is basically physically incapable of arguing against like. a climate change bill or something

- this means that he sometimes scores low bc he only argues what he agrees with

- zuko is research captain for his team, which happens to be no. 1 rivals with sokka's school

- he is the master of the rebuttal bc he loves nothing more than tearing holes in people's arguments

- he isn't the best at being adaptible if the debate takes a turn away from what he predicted/researched for, and he does have problems with looking down at his notes WAY too much (youre allowed notes but youre meant to make as much eye contact as possible), but he always shows up with exorbitant numbers of sources and flattens people with FACTS

- when he's not speaking he is the most awkward of the awkwards and he despises politicking bc it makes him feel self-conscious; this means that he honestly doesn't have v many friends besides his own team but at the same time everyone Knows Of him and the "oh SHIT zuko sozin is in my debate room im so screwed" whispers are real

- he's better at arguing whichever side of the debate is available instead of only sticking with his own beliefs, which allows him to rack up a ridiculous amount of points bc he's speaking every ten minutes

- he's also at least co-author, if not singular author, of like 80% of the bills his school submits for debate (which also contributes to everyone knowing his name)

- sokka and zuko had definitely heard of each other before they actually meet; sokka bc of zuko's Reputation (tm) and zuko bc ofc he'd know of the captain of their biggest rival

- also bc they're always getting called up at the awards ceremonies for best speaker awards (and best bill for zuko)

- they do NOT understand what's so great about the other...but also are Looking Respectfully bc debate requires formal wear and ofc zuko shows up in a tailored three-piece suit and sokka's probably wearing his dad's old suit but makes it look good anyway

- this changes the first time they're assigned to the same room and sokka bounds up to zuko to introduce himself and immediately stutters bc o god cute boy cuter up close and zuko thinks this is precious but also has no idea what to say and blurts out something dumb and then they both sit down and look Determinedly Away

- zuko is very surprised when he finds sokka is actually kinda funny and even tho he thinks that him only arguing one side is disadvantageous he's also v impressed by the strength of it (and oh my god a good family relationship what???)

- sokka is floored by zuko bc his speeches literally sound like poetry with sources (insert that line from rwrb that's like "'see attached bibliography' is the single sexiest thing youve said to me")

- and THEN...they both get to go to the captains' lunches which is where they really sit and talk for the first time over pizza and sodas and maybe exchange numbers :0

- there is definitely "fraternization with the enemy" talk from their teams mostly joking but also sokka youre CAPTAIN you cant do that hes ZUKO SOZIN PLS STOP (spoiler: he doesnt care)

- it takes ages and ages for them to progress past being friends but they always sit together at captains' lunches and sometimes their teams....sit close at awards...and they trash talk and flirt across the bleacher dividers......

- it all comes to a head at the state competition which both teams make it to and they're both REAL nervous the night before and run into each other in the hotel lobby and it turns into them sitting up half the night talking and theyre both exhausted on competition day but it's ok bc coffee is a thing

- and then oh shit....sokka qualifies for nationals and zuko doesn't but someone else on his team does......and everyone expects zuko to be mad about it and sure he's disappointed but also hes just so happy for sokka that it kinda overshadows it

- they sneak away from the celebration dinner that both teams just Happened to be at the same restaurant for (actually, the sponsor squad aka iroh, hakoda, and piandao definitely planned this) and make out outside and tell their friends to fuck off when they come looking for them; they've both been dancing around this forever they deserve it

[jonnnysuh]

hello again lol. thanks for peeping my about me page, and no worries! it’s taken me a while too, and i still need to watch the videos you sent. i’m literally overwhelmed by the content i want to watch before school starts tuesday o_o but i could never hate you omg (i will get to the videos though. i have them all saved!!)

his character def shines brightly! your Q made me think back to in the soop when he would just walk around with his headphones on, happily existing, enjoying simple pleasures. i think i admire his ability to be content without doing much. “talks like he’s in the process of thinking” 🥺 i love that description

AHHH THATS THE VIDEO 🥺😵‍💫🥺 i was looking through my svt album and realized i screen recorded it. the tweet i originally saw was captioned: “he’s literally just opening a bottle of beer but you know he is actually capable of taking care of you and that makes my head spin a little” and i—

just like you said, mingyu can do anything and it works on me. i will simply spiral out of control if i let myself bias him. although… i did start the exact same way with jeonghan and that didn’t turn out sustainable for me lmao. you saying he’s waiting for me is dangerous. i can’t hold myself back if he’s expecting me >.< “sometimes mingyu does too much” *aggressively nods*

how seungkwan gets left out of the conversation is something i will never be able to understand

seokmin: his spirit! s coups: embodying his role as a leader… protective leader😵‍💫 jeonghan: being domestic 🙇🏽‍♀️ hoshi: unapologetically loving what he loves. (i also have the SOFTEST spot for hoshi. he can do anything and i’m a puddle on the floor)

i’m glad you mentioned never seeing them be awkward with one another. i want what they have :(

hoshi would make me feel better about my weirdness lol. supportive weirdos which is basically everything i want

oh golly imagine having the opportunity to chat for an hour :( ahhh what would you ask your biases??

the message in you are is transcending languages 🥺

wait i love that lol. are you canadian?? i am onboard with haechan channeling the 90s vibe ~00 liners and haechan enthusiasts agenda

my mind just spun over you connecting similarities between my biases o_o idk if this sounds weird but i think i bias people with different personality traits bc it fulfills different ~needs…there’s a better word for needs but i will roll with it

YUTA’S TATTOO ok i am coming to you whenever i need to scream about yuta. and the belly button ring too (let a girl breathe pls)

hoseok is so :( i adore him. that line brings me so much happiness. he’s literal sunshine. i love that that’s the moment you remember with blackpink. i remember seeing that clip before i knew anything about them, and i was immediately fond. let me know if those baby feelings grow.

i’ll be back to share thoughts about the videos. happy wednesday! and thank you for encouraging words <3

hi again S!! omg school starts so soon but I hope you got some rest during the break,, and dw I'll always be here when u get to the videos. Thank you for also linking me to videos on my other post :-) v much appreciated

Exactlyyyyy he is just content in his own little world. And ahhh I should probably get into watching In the Soop,, i feel like i'm missing some quality content.

That Mingyu video lives in my head rent free. He looks like "Yup, I got this. Don't worry" and siodjasdisadsoaid !!!! I'm gonna drive myself crazy over a lil video again. I definitely see what you mean. Biasing Mingyu is a dangerous game but I feel like the day you'll convert will be inevitable LMAO. Also??? I noticed you mostly bias/favour Virgos (Yeonjun, Jinyoung, Mark, Jungkook) and as a fellow Virgo, I approve. (Also to flip it, I seem to bias a lot of Aquariuses... Aquariusai? Aqua-people?? ((like what u are)) like Johnny, Jungwoo, and Vernon)

All your descriptors for your svt faves have me like 🥺🥺🥺 but Jeonghan's made me giggle a bit. He can be domestic but he also knows how to put them in their place by talking back and I appreciate that. What S Coups said in his Hit The Road episode had me cryinggg. It breaks my heart that he felt like he had to push himself to perform and he felt guilty for putting his health first 🥺. DK's spirit and energy is contagious omg. When they said he's the group's happy vitamin they didn't lie. The soft spot for Hoshi is so real!!! I also love that he loves what he loves. He's so energetic as well and it's so much fun to see him fully immerse himself into things so I 1000000% support the fact that he would probably support encourage your weirdness . (Also this video of Hoshi was the beginning of me looking at him like 👀) I hope one day you find a friendship group that allows you to be whoever you wanna be <3

Omgggg I actually made a list of things I would ask Jay B, Mark and Bambam (although the latter aren't my biases). Here's a few.

Jay B:

You find inspiration through picture taking. Do you prefer taking pics on your phone or on your camera?

Are you a natural born leader or was this a position you had to grow into?

Do you prefer writing, producing or singing the track more?

How would you describe your childhood?

Mark:

Was the chance to be the leader ever presented to you? Now with 7 years of experience with them do you think you could’ve handled it?

Did you ever feel the pressure of pursuing a more conventional Asian child career path? Doctor, nurse, lawyer, etc.

Do you still know how to play the violin?

What is something you were often homesick for?

Bambam:

What article of clothing do you mostly feel like yourself in? Least?

Favourite dish your mom makes?

I would probably ask Vernon how he stays so grounded or if his head gets squished when wearing headphones. As for the others, I'm not too sure what I'd ask them but I'll probably go to bed tonight thinking about it. What's a question you'd ask your biases?

Yessss I'm Canadian. I've been going back and forth on revealing where I'm from but fuck it I'm from Toronto. (OH I JUST REMEMBERED if I ever got a chance to talk to Mark Lee I'd ask him where in Toronto he was born. It would be a FLEX if me and him were born in the same hospital or something LMAOOO) Where are u from? (if you don't wanna say that's okay too!)

"my mind just spun over you connecting similarities between my biases o_o idk if this sounds weird but i think i bias people with different personality traits bc it fulfills different ~needs…there’s a better word for needs but i will roll with it" I think that's the beauty of the kpop community! You become acquainted with different kinds of people and figure out what sorts personality traits you like/don't like (not limited to kpop idols) and u can see people who are somewhat of a reflection of u (at least the perspective idols outwardly show to the camera).

YUTA'S TATTOO IS ICONIC YES PLS I AM ALWAYS AVAILABLE TO SCREAM ABOUT YUTA. DID U SEE THE VIDEO WHERE I THINK JUNGWOO POKED YUTA ON THE BELLYBUTTON FOR A GAME BUT YUTA LOWKEY JUST GOT IT PIERCED? AND YUTA WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN??? BUT HE WAS TRYING TO HIDE IT???? I'M SCREAMING RN. I also like how the BlackPink fruit video was a core moment for both of us LMAO. As it should be. And yes I'll definitely let u know if Yeonjun sneaks onto my bias list.

Happy Friday! The week is almost over and school is coming soon but I hope you're well-rested :-)))

[awakenatmidnights]

aftg hc where they visit a ghost town because i can't see why not????

andrew: take a guess, come on, it's not hard. of course this motherfucker had to pick every single lock in the town. the weird thing about it? he picked the lock, looked around the inside of the house and if he didn't find what we was looking for he just left. what he was looking for, neil didn't know. (also he might have locked neil inside each house more than a couple times, relishing every time he got out after just a few seconds wearing the most unimpressed look on his face) ((++ also, the thing he was looking for in the houses? graffiti. sometimes he found real, beautiful paintings, other times just dicks. well, he wasn't there to judge. better take what he could get.))

kevin: spent the three weeks prior to the trip researching all kinds of facts about the town and made sure to tell everyone every single detail about them ["someone once pushed their newborn from these stairs" "how the actual fuck have you even gotten this information kevin-"]. and to repeat it a few more times just in case, you know. for the people in the back. not because he couldn't stop talking about it, nah-uh. not him, wrong bitch.

dan: needless to say. pictures. pictures of everything. pretty flowers, the panorama with the mountains, last century's street lamps, old street signs, everything. and yes, she sure as hell climbed throughout the highest houses to make the picture fit more into the ✨aesthetic✨. that building is too tall for her to climb on it you say? fucking watch her. she can and she fucking will.

neil: at first he couldn't make out why everybody was so excited about this trip. i mean, what's so exciting about an abandoned town? people used to live here, now they don't, what's so special about it? he just followed andrew around for a while, listening to his probably made up ghost stories, making out with him in the deserted streets and basically living the dream until he figured out his own thing to do, which is? every single illegal thing imprinted in the what-you-can’t-do-in-a-ghost-town global agenda. stealing souvenirs, writing on the walls (in most cases something related to exy or a simple ‘hi:)’ bc this boy has no sense of civility smh), stomping on the rotten floorboards. you know, the basic. he also wanted to stay the night just so he could traumatize aaron and kevin but one can’t have everything, can he?

matt: found a random cat in the streets and proceeded to gave them food, water, his dorm keys, his heart, fifty bucks, every single thing he could find in his (dan's) bag. AND when the cat started purring in his hand oh boy was he gone. if someone asked him literally anything about the trip, the only thing he’d be able to talk about would be the damn cat. after he ran into it he couldn’t give one single shit about the town and he still strongly stands by that.

allison: she did not come to play, i can tell you that. when they got there some fucker had the guts to laugh at her 6 inches heels (about 15cm for my fellow europeans like me) and not only she made sure to kick him in the balls with said heels, but also managed to go back and forth the entire fucking town with them. not to demonstrate the fucker something, but because she can. the fucking power she holds. (++ insert here renee being a big lesbian™ watching her from afar)

aaron: he literally walked (mostly) alone around every single corner of the town ["aaron we're ready to go home, where are you?" "at the church" "there is a church????"] and asked kevin for the creepiest, weirdest facts about everything. it was a win-win situation for both of them, really. he is a sucker for these things and as he SHOULD leave him alone 😤

nicky: tried to follow aaron around for a while before realizing he was lost in his own world, so he got back to the others after no more than half an hour. he then proceeded to complain about having to walk so damn much because it shouldn't be an exy training and this should be their day off from the court for fucks sake. he also takes a lot of pictures and selfies for erik, and if he then spends the night skyping and laughing with him about every time any of the foxes slipped or fell in the concrete, then nobody has to know. (yes, he caught kevin slipping on camera. no, he hasn't showed him yet because he's too good of a soul to die this young. his words, definitely not mine.)

renee: she was everywhere at any given time, nobody still knows how. she helped matt feed the cat, walked around with andrew and neil, listened to kevin rambling all over the town. also, they only realize this the day later when talking about the trip, in the comfort of their dorms. dan lets casually slip something like "i was just about to fall from those stairs, thank god renee was there to catch me haha" and just laughs it off til nicky's like "??? what are you talking about??? i've been with renee almost the whole trip and you were literally in the opposite side of the town?????" and when they turn to her for explanations she just gives her most loving, innocent smile. today it's still unknown what really happened and they're not so sure they want to know anymore.

[[hey! editing this just to let you know that you can find the actual pics of the ghost town i visited here!!]]

[redevenir]

faintheart in the dark

hoshi x reader

wc : ~ 1800

a/n : @tearsofsyrup let’s just say it’s for you dear, since your tiger agenda blog inspired me. i wish you the best as usual, and hopefully this will feel like a little treat after a good day! not at all a horror au bc that dumb fucker doesn’t know what fear is anyway. Very self indulgent. Also I didn’t proofread so sorry for the faults! 

The bus ride is quiet, a nice relief after Soonyoung’s busy day. Still, it’s not as satisfying as it would be to go home, cook up something quick and warm, drown himself under the shower and crash into his bed. He wonders when he became like that. Working for school after working for a minimum wage, and feeling like this is it. The bus stops pass one after the other until he finally reaches the humanities’ campus. Despite his fatigue and his hunger, he wastes no time in going to the cafeteria – it’s almost closing hour and he knows how annoying last minute customers are – and makes his way directly toward the library. He mindlessly watches the humanities’ building as he passes by. He notices the glass door of the library, goes in, allows himself a brief nod of the head to whoever is at the front desk – maybe a new one ? And they still haven’t fixed that broken ceiling light. He heads to the history of art section, he takes his things out of his bag and sets them up on a table, his pencil case, his notebook, takes out an imposing History of rural theater from the shelves and resumes to work. The pipes are unusually squeaky, but he manages to focus on his task, takes notes for his paper. There is a charm to his subject, he thinks. It is a nice change, to be able to talk about less conventional art, a more popular one. It reminds him of home. He allows himself a quick look over the rest of the tables. A usual, empty Tuesday night. The light flashes in irregular patterns. There are enough others so it’s far from dark, but it is annoying enough to distract Soonyoung from reading. Sighing, he scans the hall again, as a treat. Far away, in the medieval History section, he notices your bag and his lips twitch upward. It’s true you chose that Colors from the Middle-age class, but it’s so unexpected he keeps forgetting about it. Jun sometimes reminds him when he talks about whatever assignments the professor gives you. It’s still weird to think that you and Junhui see each other every week, regardless of Soonyoung, whereas he would go out of his way to go the same parties as you, to get a chance to see you. He closes his eyes, just for a bit. Once he’ll be done, he’ll come over and say hello. As a treat.

When Soonyoung wakes up, he is in the dark. He narrows his eyes in hopes of seeing through, and notices the flickering light by the entrance. Pressing his lips together, he rubs his fingers on his temples. There is no point in staying any longer. He doesn’t bother to look at the time on his phone, puts everything back in his back, leaves the history of theater on the table, and, before leaving, tries to remember where the bathrooms are. Following his foggy intuition, he slaloms among the tables, bumping a few chairs on the way. There is something unsettling about being there after hours. Libraries are supposed to be quiet places for sure, but the dark silence in which he is really far from his habit. He licks his lips, tries to be careful, and with a yawn he reaches the corridor. The soft green light of the emergency exit illuminates it. Here is his way out.

Dum. Dum. Dum. The sound of your heart is deafening. Your bronchi burn, yet you try to control the rhythm of your breathing, the sound of it, even though the alarm ringing in your head shrieks there is no time for this. From what are you even hiding yourself? Sweat runs cold down your spine, you smell it. You want to go home. You want to get out. You want to slap Soonyoung and you want him to pay for a fucking well-deserved brunch. No, you want him to ask you out on a brunch. In an attempt to get a hold of yourself you hide your face in your clammy hands, close to your nose to mute the sound of your fear. Nothing is heard but your restrained breath. One, inhale, one two three four five, six, exhale. You try to change the focus of your mind. You close the toilet seat and sit on it, swallowing saliva. You press your finger on your temple, all trace of sleepiness long forgotten.

Sometimes, Seungcheol says you’re dumb. It’s true. You are. You think back to where you left your belongings, earlier, and that essay on red pigments. Hopefully no one will steal it.

You were already in the last bus when he had called you, voice loud and way too urgent for your state of mind. Asking where you were, and if you had seen Soonyoung or not. You knew very well who Soonyoung was. Jun’s roommate, a theater kid. Phases out a lot, cute. Even though you’re both humanities’ students, you barely see him on campus – you assume it has to do with your respective part time jobs taking up most of the free time you have. But you meet at parties. It feels like whenever you go out, he’s always there, and you usually spend most of the night with him, talking until you stop feeling your head and catch yourself staring at him. That’s when you go home. Dizzy, happy, horny. The feelings linger a few days, until obligations push them out at the back of your brain again. Yet, every now and then, when you are free enough, you remember how vibrant it is to be with him and your skin becomes a boiling veil and your head is full of colors.

So when Seungcheol asked you if you had seen Soonyoung, you told him you had, he was working at the library tonight too. And when he asked when he left you told him you didn’t know – your bus line ends before the library closes, and he was asleep on his table when you left. You heard Junhui’s Oh my god in the back and began to chew on the inside of your lip. And sure enough, they had asked you to come back for him, just in case. And when you had arrived back at the library, all lights off and dark, you had known it was not going to go well. From breaking a window to get back in to the rush of adrenaline induced by the flashlights of the security agents you’d noticed outside, you felt your evening spiraling in a very wrong, irrational way. You didn’t know the library as well as you thought, lost your way of few times, until exhaustion, the fear of getting caught and and increasing worry about Soonyoung’s whereabouts had you disheveled and hiding in the bathroom for a lonely brainstorming session.

Until you hear the flush. The sound of falling water crushing your train of thoughts – you hadn’t even noticed someone came in. Noticing your little cry of surprised, a very tired voice asks who is there, and you give up. Trying to make up a story that wouldn’t make you look like a lunatic, you stand up and push the door open with your feet, wondering how high would the fine be for breaking into the library – and mostly breaking that window.

Only to face Soonyoung, eyes wide, drying his hands with toilet paper. Your mouth agape, you let out a sigh. Your heart skips a beat, maybe because of him, maybe because you’re dead. You feel the embarrassment soaking in. He watches as you close your eyes, lower your head, biting your lips with a little, uneasy smile. You twist your finger until your knuckles are white, licking your lips one last time before clearing your throat.

« Sorry, hum, sorry about… That, I guess. You don’t look at him. Apparently Jun got worried about you and they asked me to check if you were okay… So I-I hum, I, hum, I came back and got scared wandering in the building… Hum. »

You hear your name in a whisper. Two warm hands cup your face, their heat on your frozen ears. They pull you a bit until you gently bump against his chest. Soonyoung whispers your name again. You feel his warmth, and you smell the sweat of his day at work. The soft fabric of his sweater hugs your cheek and you restrain yourself from leaning in more.

« I’m alright, fell asleep, that’s all. His left thumb gently strokes your cheek. Don’t you work morning shifts ? » You shoot him a surprised look from his shoulder, long enough for him to meet your gaze.

« I do. Why do you ask? » He feels your uneven breathe on his lips, it’s warm and shaky. He should kiss you now, but there are fireworks in his head, still in awe at your apparition. His hand goes to your hips, hugging you for good. He then softly takes your hand.

« Let’s go home. You can crash at my place, he tugs at your hand and you hum in agreement. Quick, he makes sure you’re not looking at him as you both head out the bathroom. I’ll call for you tomorrow. To tell them you’re sick. » He avoids your eyes before you can meet his. You should ask him more. You should refuse. Both of his offers. You watch him as he opens the fire escape door – of course – and you watch his hand holding yours. You say nothing and you walk closer to him until you arrive to the bus stop. Sure enough, your bag’s still there, on the floor, where you’ve thrown it the same way you’ve thrown your hours of sleep away. You ponder and you ponder, and Soonyoung looks at you an your face doesn’t look too bad so he doesn’t push you.

« Okay then, let’s do that. I’ll sleep at your place, and before my shift you call them saying I’m sick or dead, as you please. » He smiles and it’s like dawn already.

« Don’t you want to go back ? After, I mean ? I mean, to keep working there ? »

« I’ll do it Jesus style then. » He laughs and you finally look at him again. Even now, as you sit on the bench and he stands right in front of you, he still has your hand in his. He shifts his balance, holding your gaze, and how many times did he get the occasion to kiss you ? Proper occasions, not intoxicated ones. His free hand reaches to cup your face once more, the tips of his fingers caressing greasy strands of your hair.

He really should kiss you now.