#bandersnatch headcanons

[ritmanispunk]

My random Colin Ritman headcanons

Some headcanons I have about Colin that no one asked but I wanted to share because the brainrot is real.

First of all, he's autistic. 100%. I dare you to look at this boy and tell me he's neurotypical.

Uses mainly masc/neutral pronouns (twinning!) but also doesn't really mind if people refer to him using fem terms.

Definitely in the aroace spectrum + bisexual/romantic.

Has a short sleep routine and struggles with sleep deprivation, in the sense he just "forgets" about sleeping sometimes and spends nights awake working on his games or just doing anything else until someone reminds him he hasn't had a proper sleep in a full week. Also he's a light sleeper.

That being said, he often takes naps during work. Sometimes not even because he has to due deprivation but because he just wants to. And because he can. It annoys Mohan a bit but he only really snaps him awake when he has dozed off for too long or when he finds him napping on the couch at his office.

Has a non-monogamous relationship with Kitty (Subtly promoting my Colin/Kitty/Stefan agenda) but before Stefan he didn't really engage in anything of the sorts with many people because it's hard for him to connect with others emotionally or find anyone interesting enough.

Has painted his hair in many different colors and likes to change it from time to time.

He enjoys goth & post-punk bands (the list he gave to Stefan) so I like to think he's very into goth culture and dresses in goth styling sometimes.

He's a film nerd and is very into horror movies (especially cosmic horror) and psychological thrillers. He also likes experimental/surrealist productions (doesn't play about David Lynch). Same goes for literature.

Talking about literature, he's a fast reader. Like really. The type of person to finish a 500 pages book in 2-3 hours.

He's also a comic books and mangas nerd (RIP Colin Ritman you would've loved Neon Genesis Evangelion).

He learned coding mostly by himself and he's a major in game design.

Speaking of which, he's a very good drawer/artist. Most of the art concepts and sprites of his games were made by himself. He also likes to draw his own comic book stories and publishes them under a pseudonym.

He got heavy into the rave scene in the 90s, and also became a fan of grunge bands/artists.

If he was born around the internet era he'd be very low-profile and use it rarely only to make controversial statements about politics (since he's an anarchist) and post his conspiracy theories.

And that makes most of it! I have some others but I think this would become way too long lol. But feel free to share your thoughts and own headcanons as well bc I love to see other people's perceptions about him :)

[pilebunkers]

In hypotheticaly AUs where 621 is owned/defrosted by the various factions instead of Walter, they name their AC...

JABBERWOCKY for the Redguns.

KANGAROO COURT for the Vespers.

DENT DE LION for Branch.

[catboymoments]

If the entire archipelago (or at the very least the central island) is called “Jabberwock Island” (like Jabberwocky), it genuinely makes me wonder if the smaller islands are also named after Wonderland creatures. Like ��Bandersnatch Island” or “Momerath Island”.

This is actually a really good headcanon and I wanna steal it now

[bandersnch]

Good morning beautiful doodles and happy friday eve!

I hope everyone has an amazing day! i'm going to be working on some headcanons and stuff for both bandy and julie. i'm currently writing up information on the bandersnatch itself and how it correlates to lineage and how he's passed down. so i should be around! maybe. idk, i'm still kind of jhskjsdjh and not wholly myself.

if you need me, my dm's and discord is always available to moots ( @ mfkntreestars , lemme know who you are if you add me ).

PLEASE HYDRATE AND MEDICATE. eat and get some fresh air. love yourselves because you're all so fuckin amazing and i love all y'alls faces xoxo

[thekimspoblog]

It would take hours to actually articulate what happens in the penultimate chapter of my "Sheepdog" fanfic, but let me see if I can try.

A major thing Jimmy and Kim bond over is their shared interest as cinephiles. And I haven't seen many fans discuss this, but to me this suggests that both of them actually have a pretty terminal case of "main character" syndrome. They've both watched so many movies, that this is the only frame of reference for interpreting their reality, and this is the driving force behind why these two act like assholes. Jimmy is the more obvious example, given that so much of what he does during the various montages is needlessly convoluted in a way that only makes sense if you assume that amusing himself is his top priority. But I'd argue Kim does this too, just not with as much self-awareness.

Everyone within the narrative rightfully thinks this pair is unstable. But the delicious irony is that this insane view of the world is correct. And we know it's correct because we're watching these events unfold after all. And I just love the level of cosmic horror that this brings to the metanarrative: Wouldn't it be terrible if a narcissist's attitude that you were just a bit player in their story was justified? Wouldn't it be terrible if your free will was an illusion, because you were always created as a scapegoat to be sacrificed? Wouldn't it be horrifying if there was a God, but this god would be happy to reward terrible behavior as long as the violence was entertaining?

Now here's where this goes from regular headcanon to completely cracked:

In the final chapter of "Sheepdog", the fanbase of Breaking Bad is confirmed to be a malevolent supernatural force inflicting its collective will on the narrative. And specifically, Kim is confronted with the fact that she made a covenant with this entity at the end of Season 5 (securing her own longevity in the story by promising to harm others) and in Season 6 she tried to break this contract with the Devil. But it's too late to back out: Her destiny was to use the money she got from killing Howard to join the upper class, and hunt bigger, more dangerous game from there. We were promised a story of oligarchs meeting their demise. We were promised a story of a vengeful woman remaking the world in her own vision of perfect justice, and after having already taken two lives, she has no choice but complete the ritual by taking five more.

After mulling over her options, she accepts that the world as she knew it will come to an end unless she shoulders this burden of playing the villain. There are thousands of good, normal, people in the universe of Breaking Bad, people that she can't help but see as valuable human lives even after being told point-blank that these are just tertiary characters, but all those characters can only continue to exist so long as one person is fulfilling the titular goal of this franchise.

So when this character returns in "Slippin Kimmy" there is something decidedly OFF about her, even more than before, and the above is why. She doesn't remember the specifics of the lucid dream, but the intuition that she is a doll on a stage never leaves her. And even if Jimmy claims to understand, she knows he can't, not fully anyway. I remember once reading a think piece which described Anton Chigurh as "someone who doesn't even enjoy doing evil, but simply feels a grim obligation to serve as the hand of fate (. . .) the product of staring too long into the abyss of the modern age", and on some level I am going for a more toned-down version of that. Having seen the rest of her life laid out for her, Kim knows she has a lot left to look forward to which will make enduring all the horror worthwhile, but even if she's not happy in this role, it doesn't really matter. A humble existence just isn't in the cards for her.

This also would suggest that Iris is some sort of antichrist figure, but eh... it's even more complicated than that.

Also why yes, I am ripping off whole aspects of Dolores Abernathy's character arc! Thank you for noticing!

[millionsnife]

//self indulgent xiv au headcanons

amon's a fuck and knives let him experiment on him to protect vash by taking the brunt of them and not telling vash what was going on

this means he's got a weird-ass mix of dna cocktails floating in his system.

the list includes but is not limited to dragon and bandersnatch

bandersnatches are just really weird fucking tigers so he makes tiger sounds sometimes including purring and chuffing

the dragon dna means sometimes he just does a Big Predator Rumble at things

the fangs are natural but the dna modifications means they're a bit larger and sharper than they should be

[whatthedormouse-said]

♢ main ♡ bio ♧ face ♤ muse ♡ wishlist ♢

about:

This is a sideblog, and I follow back from my main @grimmusings. Please direct IMs there, since it's easier for me to keep all my messages on one blog. It's also easier to start interactions with me there, where I regularly post open starters and meme prompts. For a full list of rules, see my main. Honesty hour questions will largely be answered IC and treated as anonymous unless signed by a muse.

Mallymkun is a canon character from Alice in Wonderland, and her portrayal is a mix of headcanons, various books, and movie lore. All details vary based on verse, and I'm happy to write her into crossovers or AUs.

default verses:

storyverse: Any events that take place in Wonderland, where Molly is either a soldier in the King's army, the rebel officer who slayed the Bandersnatch, or a dormouse trapped in perpetual tea time (usually found napping inside a teapot).

fableverse: When the storybook worlds collapse, Molly finds herself in a contemporary town called Fableton, where she's finally free of the magic of Wonderland and the curse that turned her into a dormouse. Deciding she no longer wants a life of violence, she attends college to become a nurse. (bio)

[sirensaves]

IC TAGS

╰ ⸻ ✟ 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖙 : MIRROR IMAGE ( if there's a god˒ it's fucking me ) ╰ ⸻ ✟ 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖙 : AESTHETICS ( it's a trick˒ it's a trap˒ the evil's not in my head ) ╰ ⸻ ✟ 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖙 : HEADCANONS ( the sutures in my head keep getting ripped out ) ╰ ⸻ ✟ 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖙 : MUSINGS ( so shut your mouth before i fuck it ) ╰ ⸻ ✟ 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖙 : INNER THOUGHTS ( these open wounds are the thoughts that I can't stop thinking about ) ╰ ⸻ ✟ 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖙 : WARDROBE ( give me back my hoodie ) ╰ ⸻ ✟ 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖙 : PLAYLIST ( alepsa play ... ) ╰ ⸻ ✟ 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖙 : NSFW / USFW ( the way you fuck˒ the way you taste ) ╰ ⸻ ✟ 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖙 : SHIPPY STUFF ( i love the look on your face when i'm tempting you ) ╰ ⸻ ✟ 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖙 : CHARACTER STUDY ( that's all i'll ever be unless you set me free )

╰ ⸻ ✟ 𝖇𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖎𝖙 : BANDERSNATCH ( i feel the rage & just can't hold it )

[a-deed-without-a-name]

You’ve outed me.  How dare you.

Now everybody who follows me for my kink and my brotherfucking is going to know I had a brony stint.  Shameful.

Anyway.

My long, stupid thoughts are below the cut, so continue if you want to have your day ruined.

I’ve spent an awful lot of time thinking about pony!Hannibal.  I’ve got drafts of him and pony!Will doodled in my sketchbook.  Ponies are the only thing I can draw.

He lives in Baltimare.  He was born in Lithuwhinnya.

I’ve headcanoned him myself as a unicorn - one with visible racial differences from an Equestrian unicorn.  Longer, slightly curved horn, tail closer to a donkey’s than a horse’s, just ‘cause I like stuff like that.  I figured he’d be a unicorn because in Equestria, the majority of nobility seem to be unicorns, and because I figured it’d be hard to be a surgeon without the benefit of the telekinetic field unicorns have.  Pegasi seem to have prehensile wings that could also do the trick, but it seems like it’d be hard to fit those inside a patient’s body cavity, and plus, how do you get latex gloves (or the Equestrian equivalent) over feathers?

But.  Hannibal being an earth pony makes sense, in a very arresting way.

First of all, the strength he’d need to be able to pose and manipulate bodies the way he does.  Yeah, sure, you could do that with unicorn telekinesis, too, but while Hannibal is very content with distant manipulation in some cases, sooner or later, he wants to get in there.  He wants to rip and tear.  He wants to touch, to bite, to feel blood and dead flesh against his hooves.  He is a constant juxtaposition of the sanitized and civilized against the feral and animal, and I think *having* to haul victims around physically would bring him a great deal of satisfaction.

Means he has to use his mouth more, too.  For everything.  It would be his primary weapon, rather than defaulting to magic or to the horn as a lance in a pinch.  Also, I mean, sure, hooves.

Second of all: it’s another layer of camouflage, just like Bandersnatch said above.  Obviously the Chestnutpeake Ripper is a unicorn.  An earth pony could never.  He fits the profile in every other respect, but...

Third, it makes him an incredible success story.  I would imagine there aren’t many earth pony surgeons out there.  Hell, maybe he’s the first one.  It gives him that extra layer of hardship to have overcome, that extra glow, that extra fame.  It makes everything harder.  More impressive.  The life he has chosen to live, been compelled to lead, is at every minute a challenge to be overcome.  It hones him like a knife.

And fourth, tying in to the second and third, it makes him an automatic injustice collector.  Just imagine the kinds of things ponies say about earth ponies in the circles he moves in.  Just imagine the kinds of comments ponies make to him, when they first see him.  “’Doctor?’”  Looking him up and down, staring openly at the center of his forehead.  As if he might be hiding a miniature horn under his forelock.  “Of what, exactly?”  Medicine.  Psychiatry.  “Are you sure?”

So, yeah.  It makes sense.  

I still like him better as a unicorn ‘cause I like unicorns and I like drawing unicorns but that’s me.

Ask me about all the other thoughts I’ve had about pony!Hannibal.

Hanbil ponie be upon thee

[stvlti]

On touch: some Bandersnatch headcanons about Stefan Butler’s touch aversion

Stefan doesn't like being touched. He's used to being not-touched, he's used to having his personal space, the distance between himself and everyone else makes him feel safe to get lost in his own thoughts and indulge in his extensive daydreaming. It startles him when people tap him on his shoulder, pat his back, (and when he was younger) tousle his hair, and then he gets annoyed. Even when he sees a hug coming from a mile away, he still doesn't like being pulled into a hug. He can count on one hand the people in his life he's trusted enough to let them touch him. (His dad isn't one of them.)

Handshakes are safe, so that's what he opted for when he first met Colin. He needed that, a type of touch that he has control over, after nearly jumping out of his skin when Thakur decided to grab him by his shoulders and steer him over to Colin's desk. Later, when Colin clapped a hand on his shoulder consolingly on his way out ("wrong path, mate"), Stefan flinched as well, although after the initial anxiety he registered The Colin Ritman was touching him and that brought him a different sort of shock 

As time went on though, Stefan got used to some things. He almost expected it, expected Thakur to grab him by his shoulders, expected Colin's warm hand holding his own briefly in a handshake, expected Colin's palm on his shoulder, or both hands cradling his neck holding up his lolling head in the middle of his living room in the middle of the pulsating neon lights--

Mostly, he expected Colin's touch, his presence hovering near by. Stefan almost looks forward to it if he's being honest. He is still annoyed by Thakur's loud voice and loud personality and the way he would grab his shoulders with just a little bit too much force behind them (his hands that are clearly used to roughhousing and would always knock Stefan off balance). But Colin, though. Stefan looks forward to Colin's reassuring hand on his shoulder, or on the small of his back when Stefan stumbles just a little too much, or on his forearm pulling him out to the balcony, he looks forward to these touches, and it feels wrong, slightly, when in some timelines Colin doesn't touch him. 

It's not all in his head though. At some point, Colin realises Stefan is just as aware of the multiple timelines as he is. There's a sort of comfort they both find in the repetition sometimes, Stefan knowing the exact second Colin's going to chime in and help Stefan defend his decision to refuse the offer ("he's a lone woodsman. I'm the same" always gets to him, even as he knows Colin better than anyone in the company it's something else to be compared to a genius), and Colin knowing that Stefan can finish his sentences word for word 

They get really comfortable in each others' presence in a way that is no longer just coworkers sharing easy conversation, but not quite to the point of friends who hang out regularly outside of work either... It's a strange and unique sort of understanding that only they can make sense of? they can't put it into words, but they don't need to; Colin's touch says a million different things, the same hand on his shoulder, squeezing just so to say "I gotchu" in one life can be a grateful "nice to see you again" in another life, or in the restarts after Colin chooses to jump, a weighty, remorseful hand to say "I'm sorry".

[oflcvers]

DATING COLIN RITMAN INCLUDES:

i didn’t forget about my man colin

he’s a great lover and very in tune with your feelings as your relationship grows

you come home from work and he just knows how you’re feeling, like some sort of sixth sense

“how was your day today love?”

“it was fine”

“are you sure about that?”

and y’all just talk man, he’s such a good listener too. you could talk about the origins of the pythagorean theorem and he’d just retain it all bc hey, my baby talking everyone hush up

literally has the same energy as the john mulaney skit when he cries out: ‘thAT’S MY WIFE’ bc that’s colin

that being said, he is a workaholic, especially when you’re gone. it’s incredibly difficult to pull him away from that monitor until he’s 110% sure he’s done for that day

sometimes he’s up until way past three and you have to step inside his office and kinda coax him out

“colin, you need to sleep”

“i’ll sleep when i’m dead”

and as soon as you hear that you march your ass in, plop down right on the desk in front of the monitor, and stare at him until his resolve breaks or when either of you passes out

usually, you fall asleep first, hanging off his desk and half pressed into him

and colin just chuckles to himself before shutting his stuff down, scooping you up, and bringing you to bed bc ‘the loml is always right, why do i bother to fight them?’

your date nights are so cute??? colin’s honestly a gentleman: ready to hold the door open for you, pull your chair out, let you slip your arm in his, etc etc, all that cute stuff. he treats you with the respect you deserve and doesn’t settle for less bc you shouldn’t either

god your self-worth and validation are so important to him, he will actually fight you if you think any less of yourself

he’s incredibly adamant on surprising you each and every date; he plans them all out to give you some sort of wonder or intrigue

and the dates never disappoint, even if it’s just getting dinner; he’ll find a way to make the night memorable

your opinions are incredibly important to him, even if you aren’t familiar with his work or strategies tackling his job

but he’ll always pop by to ask:

“what do you think of this level design?”

“how are the pixels? too grainy?”

“would this character make sense with the game?” and so on

he thrives on feedback and every time you answer he’ll smile, lean in to give you a sweet kiss before scurrying off and calling out a ‘thank you’ over his shoulder

he’s great with kids btw (duh)

colin is the baby whisperer; he knows exactly how to lull them back to sleep, stop them from crying, and all that good stuff

he was a midwife in an alternate universe change my mind

hence why he’s so incredibly calming? like he knows just what to say and do to relax you

feeling anxious? nervous? ready to have a mental breakdown? “c’mere, doll” he’ll croon, opening his arms up and letting you slip onto his lap

lots of chaste kisses as he rubs his hands up and down to your elbows before giving your waist a gentle squeeze

you are soothed like a baby wrapped up in a blanket within minutes, it’s actually kinda amazing?? you’re actually in shock the first time, staring at him bewilderedly like ‘how tf did you do that?’

and he just gives you a knowing smirk before giving you a smooch

i guess i’ll do some nsfw headcanons too??

colin is an excellent fuck and knows what he’s doing

incredible head game, absolutely show-stopping

loves to tease before oral. includes wet kisses on your inner thighs, playful bites to keep you on edge, and slow, languid movements of his tongue to figure out what you like

he’s probably is into some sort of voyeurism and wants you to sit on his face 24/7 too

his favorite position is doggy style; he likes it rough. gripping your hips for dear life, biting down on your shoulder blades, and thrusting into you with all he’s worth. but his absolute favorite way to fuck is doggy style where the two of you face a mirror. that way he can watch you the whole time, see just exactly what he does to you, and watching you squirm and hide away when he makes lewd comments and talks like an absolute scuzzball

he refuses to cum until you do. no faking either, he wants to make sure it’s better for you than him. he gets off on getting you off, ya feel?

afterward, he’ll collapse on top of you, the weight of his body adding comfortable pressure on you until you too buckle under the mattress

you end up passing out but the two of you make a mean breakfast together the morning after. but past noon, when the two of you are ready to leave bed and start your day up

on this blog we love and stan colin ritman thanks for coming to part two of my ted talk

[miotalee]

Whoever said that Colin is "canonically" married to Kitty is a liar liar pants on fire. This statement has irked me ever since I read it. First of all, they're not wearing any rings. And secondly, when Colin introduces Kitty to Stefan he doesn't call her "my wife", not even "my girlfriend". It's just "Kitty".

You call me crazy for rejecting heteronormative sentiments, but don't come and tell me that there isn't room for interpretation within the whole Bandersnatch narrative.

Ok, you can prove me wrong now.

[vargskelegore]

if modern!colin ritman had a youtube channel it would be a channel where he reviews games and also bashes nintendo for their bad business practices change my MIND

[imaginesbymk]

Dating Colin Ritman Would Include...

Requested

smoking and taking LSD with him

he often disappears and you constantly worry about him

you’re not very fond of stefan and you find him weird and responsible for colin’s actions

running your hands through his blonde hair

owning cassettes

your shared apartment with him is cluttered with records, plants, posters, and of course, his drugs

it’s quite big enough and he makes it look like you two have the money for it

he’s the first one to wake up and he leaves for work in the morning without kissing you bye or anything

not that it mattered, he still loves you

owning matching headphones

not really getting his video game programming techno-stuff

your relationship isn’t sunshine and rainbows

it’s melting sunshine and rainbows due to the LSD

chilling on the balcony with him at night

he’s pretty snarky but in a playful way

“who the fuck is jerome f. davies?”

he tosses the heavy biography book at you

no pda, only when you guys are alone he gets affectionate here and there

his boss really likes you because he thinks you’re as cool as colin

testing out colin’s game ‘nosedive’

getting addicted to video games because of him

[autisticheadcanonsdaily]

Stefan Butler from Black Mirror: Bandersnatch is autistic!

[theyre-gay-because-i-say-so]

Today’s LGBT+ Headcanon is;

Stefan Butler from Black Mirror: Bandersnatch-Gay

Status: Alive (Dependant)