#bc i keep using the same one over and over

[thatbitchery]

HOW TO SCHOOL ; A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE BY A CHAIN SCHOOLER.

Given I've been in school for 21years continuously now I'll say at this point I'm a professional in the art of schooling x studying, at least the ADHD ver. Random tips;

Go to your strengths and align with them. If you're a thinker go to the thinkings the math the Eng Lit or Lit the Calculus the classes that require for your to think. If you're a knower go to the knowings the history the Geography the Religion the Biology etc. If you're a doer go to the doings the Math the Physics the IT the Business. Go where your strengths are why suffer.

Your reputation does, in fact, proceed you. Teachers are just people and like people they are biased. School is for networking 190000× more than it is for education. And teachers are people too that can and should be networked with. If you need me to teach you how to build a reputation in school I will.

All rounders make it farthest. My formula is - one sport that does what I need it to (volleyball for cardio) and do everything in my power to be captain (I've always been). Two, a club that ticks my boxes. This has always been journalism club for me I knewww I wanted to be in journalism and communication early. Being part of the school paper (was chair in high school and editor in Uni). Leadership of student body (House captain for me. In high school. Wanted Library captain so bad but heh. Could be just being in the student council. My tip, high rank low responsibility) and take part in the most mediocre activity around (for me was Christian Council. All we did was nothing). It's the basis of- Who are you? And in life who you are is more important than what you know. Or better - what do people know you as? Keeping in mind it follows you. How people see an ex beauty queen isn't the same way they see an Ex head of student council. Also the busier you are the less time you have for all that. Alll of that. That drama thing you keep getting caught up in. + Your networks are wider so you skip the loneliness tax ie the number of things you do because you're lonely. The scrolling. The getting clingy and attached to random people that give you attention for 6 seconds. The dating people you don't even like. The over eating and over spending and- loneliness tax. We know it. Some of y'all on Tumblr rn paying it.

Always. Always. Alwaysss look your best in the most natural way possible. The world does not take kindly to unkempt women and it also doesn't want to know you pour energy into being kempt. What does this have to do with school? If you're below 25 likely you've spent 3/4 of your life in school. That's a lot of time for people to be taking jabs at your appearance or bullying you or talking hell behind your back or not coming into your space because there's no value attached to it (bc girl to girl, before you hit 25 your only value is your beauty. Again why I don't want you to date). Just make your hair and skin and nails and steam your clothes and don't look homeless it's that easy. And don't wear the eyelash extensions that look fake or the fillers or the red lips or- as natural as possible. It's school. Unless you want slaaat treatment .

Use your syllabus. I can not explain enough how much this is the way to study. Every start of semester your professor is required to release the syllabus. It has topics, subs and objectives. You see the objectives? Use those as study guides. By the end of that topic you should be able to answer the objectives if framed as questions.

Pre- during- post. You study the material pre class, on the day you'll have the class. Just go through it try answer questions. During class you listen and make side notes. After class you make the notes in writing and then go to the questions. If there are YouTube or Video or Audio explanations listen to them after making the notes and make sure you know what they're on about. DO NOT SLEEP if you know for a fact you can not recall it all. Scary hour night ver- get a pen and blank paper, offhead use objectives to write all you remember, go through the notes one more time. Thank me later.

Brown Noise White Noise- this is bs. Do what works for you there's no study noise that's standardized. I need to listen to cars and people talking noises to study some people need to listen to white noise I know someone that listens to Kpop some need no background noise so no one cares. The one rule is- IT CAN NOT BE IN A LANGUAGE YOU UNDERSTAND. The background noise CAN NOT BE IN A LANGUAGE YOU UNDERSTAND.

Niche. The niches are where it's at. Don't know what language to learn? Norwegian. How many people you know have self taught Norwegian. Exactly. If I said I speak french and someone says they speak Norwegian, automatically who sounds more disciplined and interesting? See the class that has 5 kids? Take that one for extra creds. Swimming? Deep sea diving. Stand out. Stand out.

Information retention happens in activity. Study sitting recall walking around or running or cleaning etc. The science is when you're active you need to be 10× more alert because your body id constantly scamming for threats and when you're sitting you signal to your body you're safe sooo why would it be that alert? Do your active recall on your morning jog. not yoga not activities meant for relaxing. (PS biohacking is a whole superpower and I'd teach you but I don't agree with the popular methods {when have I ever} and given my autism they probably only work for me so find your ver. Andrew Huberman is so extensive on this)

Have a signature. Sit same spot daily , have a same scent, have things that make you memorable and are associated with you. Why does it matter in school - for the exact same reason it matters everywhere, coupled by under 25 that's where you spend 3/4 of your life?

Mind the business that pays you. Stay in your lane, do your thing. Never commit to one group of friends and talk to everyone. Don't play social justice warrior matter of fact if you have to play a role move all the way over to Blair Waldorf Alison De Laurentis kind of bitchy but without being queen bee that's. Lmao. What is that. Do your thing and go home. Hang out with as many people as you can. Don't commit don't pick a side mind the business that pays you.

I'm begging you to be financially smart. Unfortunately there's no standard for this so we can work it out one on one I have all the time in the world pre August we can do it.

Boys. Stay. As. Far. Away. From. Those. I don't want you to date girls either I don't want you to date at all idc where you swing but generally I want you to know what ever a man does the women closest to him will pay for it. Even just *friends* yes be acquaintances yes hang out but NEVER let a man be a part of your identity all his problems will be yours but ×10 by associations. You see how Rihanna said 'your wife in the backseat of my car' when it's the man that messed up? that's life. THATS LIFE. Whatever a man does, the women around him will pay for it 1000×, and it's almost impossible to shake out a man's social imprint on you. Even just by vicinity. In the least literal sense of the phrase, fuck all these men.

[yesimwriting]

omg irl (personally) i would get so fed up with armand like... nothing's ever straightforward with you... there he goesss with his ulterior motives.

I love how you describe Louis' worry in the latest chapter, because as anon requested, it is the crashout of all crashouts BUT its so sublty written and kept between the lines (big kudos to you) because Louis is not burning and killing 20% of the vampiric population like he did in paris BUT there are hints/implication present that he absolutely would do something much worse to protect and/or avenge bestie reader.

And it really shows during the part after the phonecall when he's thinking to himself. Him repeating Josh's name like a mantra??? Girl his last victim was in the year 2000 but im sure he's willing make sure josh will never use both of his wrists to operate a car ever again lmao. Also, being an english speaking foreigner, i'm usually able to keep my accent at bay but i know damn well that Nola accent was HEARD through that damn phone. This reminds me of that older brother vibe ask of yours you wrote before. We all know he booked a flight arriving after sunset so he can personally drive and pick her up from the airport. Also stand as close as possible by the arrivals so she doesn't need to carry her luggage with a broken wrist.

His worry over the medication that makes her drowsy??? Omg Louis loves her so much its sickening what the hell. I need to see Daniel catching bestie in 4k, casually snoozing peacefully with Louis bc she feels so safe and i need daniel to snap a picture to blackmail louis with it later. (the 70 year old senior is louis younger brother confirmed by jacob anderson himself lmao)

The one hundred thousand over set price for her painting reference???? So Louis doesn't even know, I wonder where armand is keeping the painting. I also wonder what his intentions are with reader. Like... what are his feelings, is his interest romantic, platonic, sexual or something completely different.

Now bestie reader is so gen z and i know for a fact the people in this generation will see bullshit from miles away. (we've been trained by social media) I love the idea of armand being the manipulative gremlin that he is and reader just seeing straight through it. She's a baddie we know damn well she will CLOCK HIM the second he tries to shift the playing field. And I know he'll like it too. Just look at him and Daniel. (rip non book readers, devils minion will give you whiplash)

SIDE NOTE: i love the moment in the show when armand is retelling his story of the trial in paris and Daniel questioning how tf a five hundred year old ancient did not have the ability to stop his own coven. Daniel's smug face and the deadpan "Or what?". Daniel GO GET HIS ASS.

Daniel and reader would get along so well.

side note nr 2: i apologize for the bomb i just dropped in your inbox.

omg what a fun ask <33

i love armand, but in real life i'd be so over the theatrics of it all 😭 like yes you're playing chess and we're all playing checkers we get it!! no one will think you're less mysterious if you just answer the question omg

thank you for mentioning the louis thing! i'm glad you liked how i set it up bc i wanted his worry/frustration to be apparent but i still wanted it to feel in character. ik he's not opposed to greater crash outs (like the paris thing for my girl claudia ✊) but i also think that even when he's upset he understands time and place to an extent. like claudia's very intentional killers deserve worse than a guy who has done something relatively minor to reader on accident. however, it's still important that he very much would do the same if not worse for bestie reader if something actually bad happened to her, so i'm glad you read it that way!!

the josh thing pls 😭 i almost didn't have bestie reader give the guy a name bc she knew how he'd react. also i think that while louis isn't chill with murder, knowing that it'd be so easy to hurt someone who he thinks deserves it isn't an easily dismissible thought. i don't think he's jumping to hurt/kill everyone that's wronged bestie reader, but i do think it's an intrusive thought. the wrist thing 😭 i can see louis reacting like that if he was right there, but i feel like louis would only plan out violence if someone seriously/intentionally hurt reader.

this is going to sound off topic, but bare with me for a second. i haven't delved into this yet, but friendships can be just as complicated as romantic relationships, and while i'm committed to louis and bestie reader always being completely non-toxic, that doesn't mean their dynamic is simple. a major thing that complicates their relationship is the way that they worry over the way the other perceives them.

bestie is worried that louis perceives her as fragile and therefore fleeting and unworthy of long term attention. she's scared of being seen as a hindrance and as a burden. louis is worried that one day everything will click for bestie reader and she'll realize that he's a monster. so he's doing all he can to not demonstrate violence in front of her.

anyways, all this to say that he's not going around attacking people partially bc of his values but also bc he doesn't want her to associate violence with him.

also, total side note but this dynamic is actually what leads to reader and armand bonding. louis loves her so much and the thought of losing her is so distressing that sometimes he censors himself a little too much or treats reader like she's extremely fragile. armand doesn't. yes, this is because it's easier to risk losing someone that isn't the your emotional support human, but also bc he genuinely thinks she's capable of handling it. he'll tell her every (non-incriminating) vampire story ever in full, gory detail and reader is fascinated.

the accent comment is killing me 😭 ik that nola accent was HEAVY over the phone. reader felt those words in her soul.

and yes he’s AT that airport and he’s happy about it too lol.

also yes louis loves her sm 😭. ofc he was worried about her all alone on drowsy medication. that's the light of his life! what's he supposed to do if something happens to her? go back to only talking to his companion and occasionally a journalist accidentally moonlighting as a divorce lawyer??

also omg daniel and reader interactions are a need!! daniel being described as louis's younger brother is so important to me here omg. i love daniel and louis's relationship sm, and i just know daniel is ready for someone else with common sense to be sitting in. daniel looks at bestie reader like that one meme that's like 'you're the only bitch in the house i ever respected'.

the picture concept is so cute 😭 might have to write that into a scene bc i can see daniel seeing louis and reader asleep and at first being like ? and then taking the picture to bring it up later.

YES THE PAINTING REFERENCE i'm so glad you noticed!! i was so excited for it lol. i mentioned this in another post briefly, but i think armand's lowkey disgusted with himself for purchasing the painting bc it's a physical representation of the fact that he finds reader interesting. even before louis, before he knew her, he found something about her interesting, and bc he thinks reader has dismissed him, he wants to pretend that he's never thought about her at all.

i don't want to spoil where the painting is (it's not a major spoiler lol) but armand still has it and it is somewhere secret.

omg armand's intentions with bestie reader 😭!! i'm going to give you a short answer and then a long answer bc his feelings for her evolve slowly.

short answer: he has a really intense hate-crush on her. she's so beloved and perfect and basically the sun personified. he wants to consume her soul, he wants her to not exist, he wants her live forever, he wants her, he wants her to be just as obsessed with him so that he can calm down. she's an affliction. she's a blessing. he's going through it.

long answer: at first, he resents her bc she's taking up all of louis's attention and love. then, he starts to wonder what is so perfect and wonderful about her that has louis absolutely enraptured by her existence. then, he tries to win her over for his pride, and then..well...it spirals.

there's also the underlying benefits of getting reader to care more about him than louis bc then louis can't leave him without losing reader (most delusional and unrealistic part of his thought process tbh).

as far as end goals, he's a little lost bc all of this was an accident <3. it gets to a point where louis and reader are so intertwined, armand thinks he deserves to be with both of them. he's entitled to a matching set.

bestie reader's gen-z-ness being the reason she can see through everything armand says 😭. omg. in my head, she likes louis and armand together so when she realizes something is up she's like oh no. bc she obviously has to tell louis but she's not happy about it. lowkey on a subconscious level she doesn't want to not have armand in her life so she's like :(.

still calls him out tho bc she's loyal and also bc his lies are so egregious it's hard not to. i can picture her being lowkey sneaky when armand mentions saving louis, like feigning confusion and asking something like "just so i'm clear, isn't lestat also technically a powerful vampire? and wasn't he also in the building?" just to start something but also as a way of sending louis subliminal messages to lock in and open his eyes.

also i can see daniel realizing bestie reader knows something is up and looking at louis and being like "come on...i know, armand knows, even the girl that was really happy to be talking two minutes ago and now can't stop staring at the floor knows..." 😭

omg and armand liking being called out. this is for sure when his obsession with reader peaks. also, this hasn't come up yet, but i picture bestie reader as being very perceptive and when she argues with armand over small things she accidentally clocks him with next level reads that she'll never know how accurate they are. i'm talking reads so accurate, louis is immediately stepping in between them bc he thinks it's so over for her just for armand to let it go. (might need to write a drabble featuring this)

armand's love language to reader is not killing or torturing her for calling him out. it gets to a point where louis is like ? girl i've seen you kill people for implying what she just directly said?? if louis ever notices that something is going on with armand in relation to bestie reader it's bc of a suspicious lack of attempts to physically hurt her fr.

(also total side note, but bc you mentioned devil's minion, i just needed to say i love devil's minion era sm.)

omg in response to your side note, i LOVED that moment so much. "or what?" had me gagged. on the GROUND fr.

daniel and reader would get along so well. two divas coming together to maximize their joint slay. they're sitting around the penthouse giggling over the vampire drama like they're the immortal ones 😭.

also,, never apologize for sending me a long ask!! i'm currently very hyperfixated on iwtv and this was so fun for me! if anything, i'm sorry for how long this response was 😭💗

[loveanddeepsecrets]

They say three’s a crowd…

Synopsis- How Zayne and Caleb would one up each other when all three of you reconnect

tags: headcanon, jealousy; angst, no comfort :’( mostly gn, but some hcs imply an afab+ fem! reader

I don’t know if the LI’s will ever officially interact with each other in-game, but if they did, this is how I’d imagine Caleb and Zayne’s relationship dynamic

I’d imagine they’d make jabs at each other based on time spent vs time lost and sometimes using their own expertise as leverage. They’re both quite decorated in carriers especially being so young. Both try very hard to keep things amicable. They’re alike in many ways, and the feeling of responsibility to care for you is no exception…

- When you’re sad, Zayne would try lending a listening ear but before he can respond, Caleb chimes in with just the right words and inside jokes to make you smile again.

- When you’re getting ready for dinner, Caleb would be in the kitchen preparing your old favourites, then Zayne hovers over advising the best food substitutes as he reminds Caleb of your heart condition.

- When you’re suddenly feeling under the weather, Zayne would have you lay down and go to fetch a blanket, but Caleb steps, pillows and a blanket in hand explaining that you always need 3 pillows and a fuzzy blanket to help you fall asleep on sick days. He follows up with turning on the TV and choosing your two’s favourite comfort movie.

- On an afternoon stroll in the park, you’d stop and admire the blue hydrangeas, leading you and Caleb to reminisce about the many summers spent together. Zayne would then passively recall that one summer day all three of you spent at the florist shop and mentions the bushes he has of the same blue hydrangeas in his backyard (did anyone else clock that?!) and invites you to pick your own bouquet on your way back.

- At the start of your picnic, you pull out an apple and excitedly ask Zayne to show you how he peels it in one go. While he does this, Caleb examines the species of apple and goes on about how sweet and thoughtful you were to bring his favourite. He then remembers the exact orchard your class field trip went to when he first tried that specific Asiatic apple, and says he’ll take you there to go apple picking come autumn.

- On snow days, you’d sometimes visit the ski lodge. Caleb being a natural athlete, picks up on it pretty quickly. He hates to see you struggle, so he has the both of you back onto the small slopes. Zayne later passes by holding his and your snowboard, saying something along the lines of “That should be enough training for today. We did come here to have fun, and it would be hard to do that if you’re already sore from just one activity.” He’d then invite you to ride the ski lift to test if you still remember everything “Coach Zayne” taught you.

- During your cycle, Zayne would recommend and demonstrate the best stretches and positions to alleviate cramps, only for Caleb to walk in and insist the stretches he learned were the better alternative. Further explaining that he learned them from his fem colleagues during training for the Farspace Fleet.

- On one night with a vivid sky illuminated by the full moon and bright stars, the three of you lay on the grass searching for constellations. Caleb would share memories of the first time you two saw Orion’s Belt under the glass ceiling in grandma’s attic. Zayne stretches his arm out to you and suddenly feels the cool jade pendant he carved and begins to recall how beautiful the moon was the night he gave it to you. He then says a full moon is another one of the many things that remind him of you.

A/N: I often thought abt Zayne while completing Caleb’s story. I wondered if Caleb felt jealous at all when Zayne and MC reunited, and it led me to think about how all three of their relationships might have changed now that they’re adults. It actually hurt writing this bc they both deserve the kind of love they have with MC :(

***If anyone who actually writes, decides to make a real fic from this pls tag me so I can read it! I’m not a writer, so I’m limited to little blurbs like these

Dividers

Artwork

[mosselines]

this did modest numbers on tiktok, i hope y’all like it too! here’s my…

✨dazai headcanons✨

but they’re all rlly specific & weird

(coming from a cosplayer who’s been in the fandom since 2016)

he has an astigmatism that went untreated for so long he’s now partially blind in his right eye. he needs glasses but hates his old pm pair and never wears them in public. he’s too lazy to get his prescription renewed/hates going to the doctor so they’re not even up to date for his vision

that’s why he’s a bad driver— he can’t fucking see

he drives/reads better if he closes one eye

mori forced him to get braces after he formally joined the port mafia. he had a lisp for the first few months and would blackmail ppl if he did it in front of them

he hid his bad vision for a long time, but mori eventually noticed and forced him to get glasses too. he fucking hated wearing them and “accidentally” kept breaking each new pair mori got

after that, mori got him contacts but he would lie and throw them out just to be defiant (totally not bc they squicked him out)

he originally started wearing his bandages because no one would touch him bc of his ability

he has awful tan lines bc of his bandages, his face and hands are tanner than the rest of his body, but since the sun can permeate light clothing/bandages he also has random splotchiness all over his body, especially his shoulders, arms, & back

in 15, dazai got so excited he was 5 cm taller than chuuya bc he was always the one being bullied for being short/malnourished before they met

at 16, chuuya grew slightly faster than dazai and started teasing him. dazai freaked out and started wearing lifts for a brief period of time. he was researching poisoning techniques to reduce growth right before he finally got his own growth spurt <3

he has chronic insomnia and is a scarily light sleeper. usually gets anywhere from 3-6 hours of sleep a night

he constantly has dark circles under his eyes as a result

whenever he shares a bed with chuuya, he’ll sleep twice as long as normal. at first, chuuya would get mad bc he was a huge brat to try and wake up, but now he lets dazai sleep in as long as he wants

his sense of taste is abysmal, which is why he likes really salty/spicy food. they’re the only flavors he can actually taste

he doesn’t decorate or furnish his ADA apartment because he’s scared that once he gets attached to the place, it’ll get taken away

he constantly beats himself up for not thinking to take odasaku’s coat with him. he bought his current one because it looked similar

he refuses to touch any of his pm salary, so it’s just kept accruing interest and is actually obscene at this point. he asked ango to “handle it” and cover banking stuff under the condition he gets to take out any expenses he wants. it irritates ango to no end that dazai won’t do anything with it

the day kunikida finds out about dazai’s pm bank account will be dazai’s final day on this earth

when he was 15 he was unironically into screamo bc “it screams for me when i can’t.” thought linkin park was super hardcore & his favorite song was “numb” (fucking loser)

he NEVER brushes his hair. like he doesn’t even own a fucking hairbrush or comb until chuuya has a conniption over it and starts keeping one at his apartment

whenever chuuya tries to brush his hair, it’s like trying to wrangle a feral cat. they’ve gotten in physical fights over it that always end with dazai pouting for the next hour while chuuya laughs at how flat his head looks without the rat’s nest

uses dollar store 9-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/bodywash/motor oil. it’s ocean breeze scented! :)

he’s had the same fake driver’s license since he was 15 and never bothered to get a real one

he actually has decent medical training from spending so much time as mori’s apprentice. about the same level as a battle medic would have. capable of stitching wounds & performing surgery, but not as good as yosano even without her ability

yosano has tried to reach out and bond with him about their shared pasts a few times, but he always comes up with an excuse to leave. she eventually gave up on asking

one time, he got badly wounded and had to be treated by yosano. she had to sedate him because her ability doesn’t work on him, and he called her mori the whole time. he doesn’t remember, but she never forgot and stopped trying to spend time with him

[aciddrattboyy]

Mσσɳʅιɠԋƚ

┆ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ - "you and aki have a... complicated relationship. one you both know will end in heartache even if you cant stay away"

ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇ ꜱᴛᴀᴛꜱ: ★ Starring: Aki H. x F! Reader ★ Run Time: 2k ★ Genre/Warnings: [Rated R: Adult Film/Drama] angst, smut, fingering (f!receiving), penetrative sex, crying while having sex, emotional sex ★ someone who had found me thru my old ao3 acct requested that i upload my older works so anon this is for you !! that being said absolutely NONE of it is edited/read thru bc reading my writing makes me want to vomit. pls enjoy :p

▶▶

“i knew you’d be out here,” you sighed, walking past the sliding door that led to aki’s balcony. there he was sitting, a cigarette sitting pretty on his lips as he looked out at the city. aki takes a drag of it, blowing it out slowly before tapping the end of it over the ashtray. 

“how’d you get in here,” he mumbled as he fished in his pocket for his pack of cigarettes, routinely handing you one without another thought. you take it, dragging the other chair over next to his before sitting down with him.

“i asked denji to keep the door unlocked before he went to bed,” you answer simply, patting your pockets for a lighter that you don’t seem to have. “can i see your lighter?” aki nodded, quietly pulling his lighter out and handing it to you. mumbling a thanks you fumbled to start the lighter, hand shaking slightly. once you finally get the cigarette to light, you wordlessly hand the lighter back to him, taking a long hit. 

“you shouldn’t be here,” aki’s voice was low, steady as he spoke even though the tension between the two of you continued to grow. 

“i know,” you said quietly, taking another hit. “codependency is a funny thing isn’t it?” you kept your eyes out on the lights of the city out in front of you, not having enough energy to look aki in the eye. 

“y/n what’re you talking about,” through your peripheral, you could see aki looking at you, his eyebrows furrowed. you opted for closing your eyes, tapping your cigarette against the arm of your chair.

 “well you’re dependent on these cigarettes aren’t you? you look for these whenever you feel stressed, tired, depressed - basically anything even though you know it’s bad for you,” you tilted your head up, rapidly blinking to keep any tears at bay. “i’m the same way, except it’s not cigarettes i look for.” it was quiet for a moment, a cool breeze drifting by as you tried to figure out how you were supposed to word what you wanted to say next. 

“what’s going on,” aki’s voice was unusually soft, a type of gentleness you’ve never received from him before. this caused you to open your eyes, looking at him with a weary smile. 

“i’m quitting public safety,” although you tried so hard to keep it in, tears began to silently fall down your cheeks. you saw something change in aki’s expression, although you couldn’t quite put a name to it. “i didn’t come here to try to convince you to quit with me. i know you are too focused on your goal,” your voice was strained as you kept eye contact with him. without too much of a second thought, you took his hand in yours. “i came to tell you that you better not even think of fucking dying,”

using your other hand, you began to wipe the tears that now seemed to be flooding out in a nonstop stream. sobs begin to wrack you body as you curl into yourself. too distracted by the sound of your own sobs, you didnt even register the feeling of aki rubbing circles on your back. 

“y/n look at me,” he cupped your face in his hand, tilting your head up to look at him. the sight of his glassy eyes was enough to shock you enough to stop crying. cigarette long forgotten, he moves his other hand to wipe the tears off of both of your cheeks. in this moment aki knew what he was going to do would be incredibly selfish. he knew this would be a horrible idea that would hurt both you and him. but seeing the desperate look in your eyes was enough for him to want to throw it all away. within an instant his lips found yours, kissing you just as desperately as you looked only moments ago. 

without wasting another second you kissed him back just as passionately, tangling your fingers in his hair as you squeezed your eyes shut tightly. the kiss was messy, teeth and tongue clashing as the two of you tried to show the other all the feelings you kept buried. aki only broke the kiss when he absolutely needed to take a breath, leaning his forehead against yours as he panted against your lips.

“this is a bad idea,” you murmured with a dry chuckle as you traced his bottom lip with your thumb. “this is a very bad idea,” slightly hurt by your words, despite knowing how true they were, aki was about to pull back. was about to maybe give you one final hug before sending you home. but as soon as you felt the slightest shift in his position you grabbed his arm. “but we already came this far…”

“we don’t have to go any farther,” he spoke softly as his lips moved against yours. he was willing to go as far as you wanted tonight. knowing this would be the last night you would ever see each other.

“i want to.”

you weren’t sure how you ended up in aki’s bed, a blur of bumping into furniture while kissing messily being the only explanation you had. here you were now, under aki as he absolutely worshiped your body. leaving wet kisses over the expanse of your collar bone and neck, he began unbuttoning your shirt. his shirt, along with your jacket were tossed somewhere along the path to his bed.

“aki,” you called softly, carding your hand in his hair to try to pull you away from your neck. he immediately got the message, placing his lips on yours as he finally got your shirt completely off, tossing it who knows where before bringing one hand to grab at your breast.

with neither of you wanting to break the kiss, the both of you struggled to get each others pants off, giggling into the kiss at how much harder you were making this for yourselves. after finally managing to shed off your pants only the thin material of your underwear remained. experimentally, aki pushed his hips down onto yours, pulling a moan out of both of you at the warm feeling og long awaited stimulation.

with a cautious roll of his hips, aki couldn’t help the small whimper that left his lips. burying his head into the crook of your neck, he continued to rut his hips into you, earning moans and whines from the both of you. 

“aki- please-,” your voice was filled with a desperation that you were embarrassed to admit you had. covering your eyes with your arm, you bit your lip, trying not to make too much noise as he pressed into your clit. with a shaky hand, he pulls your panties to the side, experimentally swiping ahead along your slit. gripping onto his shoulder tightly with your free hand you tried to keep your hips from bucking up into his touch.  

you could feel aki’s ragged breath fan against your neck as he slowly pushed one finger inside, cursing against your hot skin when he felt your fluttering hole clench around him. it didn’t take long for you to start begging for more. which he happily obliged, pushing two fingers in and curling his fingers upward and into the spongy spot inside of you. when you felt his thumb brush roughly against your clit you let out a small mewl, thighs trembling softly as the pleasure continued to build up. 

growing impatient, you snake your hand between your bodies and cup his erection, squeezing softly. you turn your head just a bit to whisper in his ear.

“i want you aki,” your breathless voice seemed to bring aki back to earth, causing him to lift his head to look at you. there was a certain pain in his eyes that you knew both of you would be feeling for the foreseeable future.

“yeah?” he asked softly, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip as you nod your head. “okay- okay needa grab a condo-” you grab onto his arm as he reaches toward his nightstand drawer, shaking your head timidly. “y/n that’s a bad idea,” his voice was soft, as he hovered over you.

“you can use one if you want,” you squeeze his arm weakly, trying to offer a comforting smile. “im just saying we don’t have to… i trust you aki,” the shadows on your face from the city lights being filtered by his blinds made your features look so much softer. he took a moment to take in your face, trying so hard to commit every little detail to memory. 

he exhaled shakily, placing a chaste kiss on your lips before pulling away, taking off his briefs before sliding himself back between his legs. you sit up, leaning against your elbows as you take in the sight of his hair cascading around his head, covering his face completely as he kept his head down.

he shifted closer to you until the backs of your thighs rested snuggly against the top of his. raising his head, he studied your expression before his eyes trekked down your body, all the way down to where the two of you would soon be connected.

“ let me know if you need me to stop,” he mumbled as he held onto your thigh, other hand languidly jerking himself off a couple times before running it between your folds. “oh fuck,” slowly, he began to slowly push himself inside you. 

you whimpered out his name, head thrown back as you felt him shift over you, leaning over slightly to place his lips on yours. you were tight around him, walls clenching as he pressed into you. gripping onto the sheets under you, you sat up, leaning back on your hands as your mouth chased his. he placed a hand against the nape of your neck with a sort of tenderness you knew would be the first and last time feeling it. he placed his other hand on the small  of your back , shifting your position until you were straddling his lap, chests pressed together as he bottomed out inside of you. 

you wrap your arms around his shoulders, burying your face into his neck as you tentatively lift your hips before dropping back down. your movement elicited moans from both of you as aki moved his hands to your hips.

smothering kisses all along aki’s neck, you began to move your hips with his help, soft pants and whines leaving both of you as the muted sound of skin slapping clouded the room. no words were spoken for a while, too scared to verbalize feelings and wishes that could never be fulfilled. 

aki brought his hand down to your lower abdomen, using his thumb to rub at your clit as he continued to help you fuck yourself on his dick. you clawed at his shoulder blades, a string of whines and calls for his name falling on all too eager ears as your thighs started to tremble. 

“ gonna cum aki,” you felt tears well in your eyes for a multitude of reasons. the three word phrase was on the tip of your tongue and you so desperately wanted to say it. he swore under his breath at the feeling of you clenching around him so hard.

“go ahead yn, let- let go,” his voice was strained, almost sounding painful as he exercised all restraint to not cum inside you when he felt you cum around him with a high pitched whine. he didn’t last long, quickly lifting you off of his dick, and jerking himself off until he came all over your stomach. 

your legs ached as you continued to sit on his lap, heads resting against each other as you both came down. when reality began to sit in you felt the tears pooling in your eyes again. 

“aki i-”

“don’t,” his voice definitely sounded very pained now, his hands balled into fists on your thighs. 

“i’m sorry,”

“y/n please don’t-” you quickly cupped his face in your hands, tilting his head to make eye contact with you. through the light sneaking in the otherwise dark room, you could see the tears slowly falling down his cheeks. 

“i’m sorry,” your voice cracked as you tried to blink the tears away. “aki i love you.”

i hope you enjoyed !! reblogs/comments are very appreciated <3 ʟᴏʙʙʏ ﹕ꜰɪʟᴍᴏɢʀᴀᴘʜʏ 𝄃𝄃𝄂𝄀𝄁𝄃𝄂𝄂𝄃

[mqriuss]

kpop idol au yuzuha x fem idol!reader (Part 2)

jesus christ there's not a lot of you but i expected like two people to read my rambling BUT IM GLAD THE FEW OF YOU THAT READ IT ACTUALLY LIKED THE KPOP IDOL YUZUHA so here's more !!

part 1

i can't keep calling the character's members of your group/your group member/yuzuha's group members, so we need to give them names!!!

... i sat here for like 5 minutes i can't think of group names SO let's just move on to member's names lmao (feel free to give me group name ideas!)

your group members:

you

eunjung

sunhee

miyoung

hyunjae

yuzuha's group members:

yuzuha

haeun

haejung

yunhee

kyungmi

ok now that that's out of the way

your fans love it when you and yuzuha's groups make a comeback at the same time cuz that means they get sooo much interactions during the promotion era.

like music shows are so fun. the fans and shippers are so well fed bc you and yuzuha are (suspiciously) close with each other, the amount of photos and videos you have together are endless. and i haven't watched these in a while but you know when idols like vlog themselves for their youtube channel? yeah, best believe yuzuha will always appear on your group's channel and vice versa.

"oh, and there's y/n," sunhee says, panning the camera over to you. you were eating a snack while getting your hair done before your performance. looking over to the camera sunhee held, you did a little wave. then someone else's head pops into view, "yuzuha is here too for some reason," sunhee snickers, knowing exactly why she's here.

"hey, guys! lemme borrow y/n for a sec, okay?" yuzuha grins, waving at the camera.

username01: sunhee sounds like she knows something we dont

→ username02 replied: it's like i can hear her smile from behind the camera lmao

also, don't forget the tiktok challenges! with every comeback, each of your group's fans are always always expecting the two of you to make tiktoks with each other's new songs.

username01: chat it's been days why haven't we gotten a single y/nzuha tiktok challenge

username02: if we don't get y/nzuha doing each others' tiktok chalenges i will seriously end it all

username03: my theory is that y/n and yuzuha fought over something so it's taking them long to make a tiktok

→ username04 replied: NO WAY they were interacting just fine on the recent show

→ username05: you may never know, idols are good at faking smiles

yet here you sat with yuzuha on the inkigayo stairs, laughing together when she showed you the comments your desperate fans were making.

"oh my god, you're right! they literally expect it from us now," you say in between laughs. it's no wonder this was how fans reacted—i mean, you two were always one of the first to post tiktok challenges. so you purposely tried to mess with the fans by giving them absolutely no content this time around to see if they'll notice.

and like, what were you expecting? of course they'll notice!

y/nzuha shippers are the worst because they genuinely feel like their ship is real. like gayer and realer than any other kpop ship out there, and you and yuzuha feed into it so much. even though you were rivals, this shipping thing is actually beneficial to both of your groups. almost all of your group's fans are also fans of yuzuha's group and vice versa bc of your ship. your duo with yuzuha is even more popular than the duos in your respective groups.

ok anyways, so you and yuzuha finally get up and decide to make some tiktoks together and you decided—after depriving your fans of y/nzuha content, you were going to release ALL the tiktoks you made that day. two of them were your group's respective tiktok challenges, then there was like one thirst trap, two of the tiktoks were like those couple trends—yes your fans went crazy and that is an understatement, and then another random tiktok dance challenge.

username01: they disappear for days AND THEY COME BACK WITH A FEAST

username02: y/nzuha nation, how does it feel to suffer from success?

username03: what the FUCK i was literally just talking about y/nzuha doing this chalenge AND THEY ACTUALLY DID IT... y/n or yuzuha has got to be my oomfs

→ username04 replied: y/n is more likely to be oomf methinks

username05: Y/NZUHA THIRST TRAPPING ON THE OFFICIAL ACCOUNTS SOMEBODY HOLD MY HAND

both you and yuzuha lurk on social media a lot and it's to see the fans reactions to basically anything, you're both hardworking idols—seeing what the fans like and absolutely milking it—in this case, y/nzuha. it's just a cute thing at first like "aw look, yuzuha and y/n used to be on that traumatizing survival show and they're still hanging out and really good friends."

and then it started getting serious like you weren't just a duo anymore, you're a ship. well, you have been since the survival show but with your debuts, you both started getting more fans and as a result, more shippers.

the both of you just look at each other, already plotting different ways to make fans go crazy. your managers had to stop you guys from posting a really really suggestive thirst trap one time, even your members have to give you guys warnings every now and then like you two better cool it!

you also have known for a while now that views aren't really authentic anymore in the kpop industry because of the streaming stuff. your rivalry with her doesn't really show when they announce winners at a music show. but your fans do get a bit of nostalgia when you guys post content together.

username01: this video of yuzuha and y/n is literally just them trying to outsing each other

→ username02 replied: if they ended up in a group together, we could've gotten another girls generation song where every vocalist outsings the other

→ username03 replied: ACTUALLY THO cant we just merge their groups? can they collab already?

or like you know how sometimes, you don't see idols putting in that much energy into each other's tiktok challenges? (no shade btw)

yeah, that could never be you and yuzuha. in every video, fans have noticed you guys have to glance at each other while dancing. giving looks that say "i'm doing your choreo better than you are."

oh your rivalry would also show in variety shows. there isn't really any room for rivalry in terms of music and popularity 'cause you can hardly control how fans view you and if anything, you both are always so supportive of each other's careers. so when you get a chance to go against yuzuha, you take the damn chance.

variety shows are definitely nostalgic for the fans 'cause you two refuse to team up with each other for games unless you were assigned to the same team. fans eat it up so much, there would be so many clips going around on tiktok, instagram and twitter.

while we're on the topic of rivalry, ISAC is a big day for y/nzuha nation.

when everyone finds out yuzuha was the head of the kyūdō club in high school, they're immediately expecting her to win in archery. but you practiced longg and hard to go against her.

now imagine the fans reactions when they find out yuzuha herself helped you train for ISAC lmfaooo

i think that's all the rambling i have for now but here's a bonus: new fans or non-fans of your groups mistake your ship name for y/n x kazuha of le sserafim instead of yuzuha and it's the funniest day on twitter ever. y/nzuha stans attacking them for not knowing it's yuzuha and all 💀

you share a selfie with kazuha after that day for funsies. let's just say, you kinda... sorta... maybe started a little fanwar. but y/n x yuzuha shippers aren't the only ones getting a little jealous. :)

[drunkwithmouthwash]

There was something that made me think for a while: if she was first intended to be Anya's partner, how u came up with the idea of her being with jimbob at some point? I would like to know bc there's a big gap there n all. I mean, a healthy to unhealthy gap. It made me curious abt the reasoning! Also I didn't rb before your post sorry for that 😩

(Sorry for late response dear)

I guess that decision was affected by my own personal feelings towards the characters during the creative process :’) The first time I watched a let’s play of MW, I was left feeling very protective of Anya and I HATED Jim with a burning passion. So, originally, Sammy was gonna be an ex-military, roughed and kinda buff, and she was going to protect Anya (here’s a rough sketch I made of that, plz don’t mind the anatomy or flawed perspective, I was experimenting 🤣)

But as days went by… You know, I kept having MW in the brain, and started to realize that the one that had actually made a VERY PROFOUND IMPACT on me had been Jim. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, and thinking about him would make me so angry. Like, I really, REALLY FUCKING HATED him. But it got to a point in which I was like “…Wow. I don’t know how long it’s been since a character has made me feel something so intensely.” And then I started to appreciate him more for the character and the villain that he is. He is SO WELL DONE, like I bow down to Wrong Organ. So… little by little, love started to bloom from that hatred, and I wanted to use Sammy to express those feelings :’3 (Don’t be fooled tho, the love and hate I feel for him go hand in hand and neither replaces the other. I still hate him for his actions in the game and rejoice whenever I see fanarts of him getting what he deserves, lawfully or violently, but I love him as a character all the same, and who am I kidding? I do find him physically attractive, he’s my type lmao).

Now, in regards to Jim and Sammy’s relationship, I’m obviously well aware that Jim is not a sweet pea, and that if they were to be together romantically, it would be a terrible, terrible relationship. Since Sammy is a self insert, I decided to have her know better than to stay with him, and, well… that reminded me of a personal experience that I had with an ex boyfriend of mine :’) Thankfully, my ex was NOT NEARLY AS BAD as Jim (it would be like comparing a newborn tabby kitten to a full grown tiger lmao), but I still knew that he was no good for me and that I deserved better, so I broke up with him. However, I was still so madly in love with him, and stayed in love with him for around 10 years 🫠 I went to therapy, “got over him”, and then cried for him again the next time I saw him. Took me a LOOOOOT to finally get over him for good, but I was able to have closure. And, well… I decided to base Sammy and Jim’s relationship on that. She knows she deserves better, and she’s not afraid to hold him accountable for the things he says and does, but deep down she’s still very much in love with him (and those feelings will ultimately doom her) YwY

Anyway, I should probably wrap this up before it keeps getting longer 😅😅 I’m so sorry

Thank you for coming to my ted talk ❤️

[krismckrismckris]

@a-120 watch this

[s0fter-sin]

something people just don’t think about is how often chronically ill and disabled people just don’t have access to good food. not healthy food, good food; well made, tasty meals that don’t come from a jar or a freezer. how many of us are housebound or can’t drive? delivery services only offer within certain distances, if you live outside a city they aren’t an option. many people don’t have the energy or ability to cook for themselves if they have the skill to begin with. many certainly don’t have the ability to learn how. it’s something that goes completely unnoticed, just the opportunity to have a good meal and how much that wears you down

[sergle]

There's something about like. A certain genre of posts / Online Opinions about insecurity/depression/misery/complaints that are so unhelpful that they wrap right around to being straight up hilarious. and it's the ones that are more or less written to the tone of "Feeling bad? That's gross!" Like, just so you know, don't voice your insecurities/ have low self esteem, because that's offputting! You're gross and weird. Don't be insecure about that, though. That would be stupid if you felt insecure about people disliking you for being insecure. Not attractive. You should be thinking about being as attractive as possible. You shouldn't make comments about suicide, even if you're suicidal! Keep those thoughts entirely to yourself. Make sure nobody around you knows you're thinking about this. It would Make Them Uncomfortable. It's better to keep these thoughts in your head where they can fester. Don't post OR talk to friends with complaints about you feeling miserable or depressed. Tbh people who are sad/upset a lot? Kinda a red flag! You are probably miserable because you're a bad person and you've brought this on yourself. If you don't have friends, it's because you're awful to be around. Easy! Solved the problem for you. And no, there is no nuance to this, got it? So, make sure to feel bad about feeling bad, but don't feel bad about it, because, well, that's just gross. And annoying! You might've wanted your brain rotted thoughts to be Peer Reviewed, you might have just needed to vent- you might've been hoping for some comfort, to get things off your chest. Well, don't! Don't talk about thoughts or feelings that are negative with your friends, you'd be burdening them and that's only meant for THERAPY. #SponsoredbyBetterHelp #MentalHealth like, DAMN. that's so helpful. you're so good at helping. I um really liked the part where these are all hard and fast rules that encourage keeping feelings bottled up and keeping your friends at arm's length. That's really funny of you.

[hanzajesthanza]

i think it would be really funny if regis had a kind of fucked-up haircut

“he could save everyone except himself” but like with regard to the barbery, and not the surgery. kind of like when chefs don’t cook very well for themselves. or when fashion designers wear sweatpants all day.

but moreover. i think the aesthetic effects of a bad haircut would help to dampen his natural lugosian allure and good looks. to reduce any potential suspicions

[airenyah]

Hey so do you know where I could find this acting manifesto of yours?

I usually try and avoid publicly expressing my opinion on things like this but I recently saw some people commenting negatively on his acting again and I’m starting to doubt my own judgement.

I’ve truly never had a huge problem with his acting but I keep seeing people using really harsh words to describe his prior and current work. I genuinely think he’s doing a good job in THK but these comments sometimes make me think I’m missing something.

That conflicts with the fact I know at least three people he worked with on THK specifically had positive things to say about his acting too and I trust people who do this for a living to know what they’re talking about for the most part.

I guess I’m just looking for your post to have a more detailed perspective of the opposite viewpoint to “he’s a terrible actor” to help affirm some of my thinking so I’m more confident in my positive opinion of his acting.

Overall though I’m enjoying everyone in this show but for me I’m specifically enjoying the four mains the most. Kudos to them honestly.

(Disclaimer: Obviously everyone is entitled to their opinion but the harshness of some of the opinions took me off guard a little.)

fuck these people. they don't know shit.

(mind you. this manifesto was written based on his performance in just star in my mind and hidden agenda. his 2024 shows weren't even out at that point. in fact, thk hadn't even been publicly announced yet. you can see from the start there is talent in this boy if you actually know what to look out for)

bonus: i rant some more in the last reblog

[copepods]

i love suns and pebbles canon dynamic in my head its kind of weird and fucked up and i wish more people depicted it as that (tag ramble incoming)

[lemongogo]

need 2 find myself again in 2025 . tbhwu

[orcelito]

Shino raising his dead friends and friend's dog from the dead with the power of bugs as one friend's cousin watches [not clickbait]

[walking-loather]

When it comes to hygiene tasks and self care with disability and chronic illness, its pretty much a constant case of: don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.

Basically: it's better to do something, than to do nothing at all.

TLDR: Just because you can't do something "properly" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all. Do it half-way. Do it shitty. Do it barely. Do it on a technicality. But do what you can. Just try, because doing something will help you.

If you don't have the energy to scrub your body with a sponge, just rub soap over your skin with your hands.

If you don't have the energy to wash your whole body with soap, just hit the places where sweat accumulates, or where you're smelliest.

If you don't have the energy to wash with soap AT ALL, just sitting in water is better than nothing. It will wash away dirt and oils.

If you can't bathe or shower at all, a warm wash cloth is your new best friend. If that's too much, then try bath wipes. They're a bit bigger than regular wet wipes, and a bit more heavy duty. They're designed to help keep bed ridden patients clean in hospitals.

If you don't have the energy to dry yourself after a bath or a shower, just put on a bathrobe and get into bed. If you don't have the energy to get dressed afterwards, just don't. It can wait until you can.

If you don't have energy to brush your teeth for two minutes, honestly, just a cursory scrub is better than not doing anything.

If you can't brush your teeth twice a day, brush in the evenings. It will help take away the build up of food from the day.

If you don't have the energy to brush AT ALL, honestly, just take a cloth and wipe the plaque off your teeth. Rinse with mouth wash after if you'd like. Something is always better than nothing.

If you can't floss twice a day. Try once. If that's too much, try a few times a week. If that's too much, try setting aside a day once a week as a goal. If you can't keep a schedule, do it when you're able to. Hell, I keep some floss next to my bed so that if I forget and don't have the energy to go get it, I can just reach over.

If you can't iron your clothes, don't bother. Wrinkles are fine. Wear jumpers over wrinkly t-shirts. No one will know, and honestly, most people won't even care. If it's really wrinkly and it's A Big Deal And It Needs To Be Ironed, here's my life hack. Step 1: take a spray bottle, and spritz the item of clothing (while you're wearing it is easiest) until it's lightly damp. Step 2: use a hair-dryer on the clothes until they're dry. It gets rid of creases like nobody's business, it's easier than lugging out the iron and ironing board, and you get to have nice toasty warm clothes afterwards.

If you can't fold your clothes, try just hanging them up. It's less commitment. It's quicker to do. Granted, you need to have the space in order to do this, but it is also good at helping you downsize, and lets you visualise exactly what you have.

If you can't put your clothes away, invest in a couple of laundry baskets, and then just keep your clean clothes in the baskets. You can then separate washed clothes into underwear, pants, and shirts baskets. You can just leave them like that. I'm giving you permission to never fold your laundry again if you can't. Just leave it unfolded. Who's going to care? Something is better than nothing. If you can, try to put those baskets into your closet so that you can keep the clutter out of sight, and give yourself a more restful environment.

If you can't separate your clothing out into different categories and wash them "properly" (whites, warm tones, cool tones, darks, delicates / switching between hot & cold washes / paying attention to laundry instructions on the label) then just don't worry about it. If you cold wash your clothes, colours won't bleed. Maybe gradually over the course of dozens of washes there'll be some changes in hue, but it's really not as high stakes as the One Red Sock In The Whites Turns Them Pink trope makes it out to be.

I've pretty much come to the point in my life where if a piece of clothing can't survive the washer and dryer, then it's just not meant to be. I colour separate my clothes, and if I have the energy/remember I'll take my bras and jumpers out of the washing machine to drip dry. But otherwise, I leave it to the universe.

If you can't separate out your recycling, then don't. If you have a large amount of rubbish you need to get rid of but the idea of separating it out properly is stopping you from doing so, then just don't worry about it. I know it's not ideal, but if you have garbage in your room/house and you need to get rid of it, please just get rid of it. Don't let the problem get bigger and harder to deal with. Don't let "doing something properly" get in the way of keeping your living spaces clean. Please. Give yourself understanding.

If you can't wash your dishes, get paper plates. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it is better that you eat food than skipping meals. It is better that you have a clean kitchen, rather than having dishes piling up and making it harder to look after yourself.

If you can't prepare meals for yourself keep making the tasks easier and easier. If you can't do recipes, then simplify. Use pasta sauce from the jar instead of making it. Eat canned soup. Buy food you can just stick in the oven. If you eat fish fingers and microwave veggies every night, it's better than not eating anything at all. It's better than having to fork out money on take-out. If you need ready-made meals, then get them. If you're literally just eating a raw cauliflower for dinner; 1) I see you, 2) me too, sis, 3) something is better than nothing.

These are the basic things you need to do every day to function as a person. They are your activities of daily living. Brushing your teeth. Bathing or showering. Using the bathroom. Getting dressed. Eating. Drinking. Sleeping. Keeping your environment clean. You don't need to do these things perfectly, but they need to happen in order for you to have a decent quality of life.

And it breaks my heart, because I know that so many disabled people can't do these things every day. I'm not saying this to guilt or judge, I'm saying that these are basic needs; you deserve these things. These things bring dignity. If a disabled person is unable to do these things, it diminishes their quality of life. It robs them of dignity.

If you need help to do these things, Its okay to ask for help. It's okay to need help. But if you can't get that help and you have to do these things by yourself -- or you just plain want to be independent and do it without help-- then don't hold yourself to standards you can't meet.

Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Even if it's not perfect. Even if it's not done well. Do what you can.