#bc i did JUST buy a second copy of it to throw at someone

[nukenai]

My semi-normie reptile-having friend just asked me if I have any Switch games I would be ok with letting her borrow (and stressed I could have them back immediately if asked, otherwise after she beat them, etc). She said she got bored of what she had and... oof... bought both pokemon scarlet AND VIOLET in the bundle thinking they were like, complementary games... BIG OOF. She said Legends Arceus is like her favorite game she's ever played and she's played it through like 3 times now.

I'm lending her New Pokemon Snap, Friends of Mineral Town, Kirby Star Allies, and Mario Odyssey if I can find my copy. I think my sister still has it lol.

She also said she "can't afford" more games right now because of Christmas (she has 2 young kids, single mom). She busts her ass as a nurse and is also like still in school (for nursing) so I'm considering sneaking a $30 eshop card in one of the game cases for her. I told her about Okami and she added it to her wishlist but I wanna let her buy what she wants lol.

Also I think getting her an eshop card would be less insane than buying Mario RPG for a third time and throwing it at someone. Right?? RIGHT????

[kenananamin]

Nanami as a girl dad

Nanami is a girl dad, I will not argue or fight on this but if you think he's not... i got news for you ANYWAYS these are my Nanami headcanons as the best husband and dad and what he would do as a girl dad during pregnancy, birth, and actually raising the baby

takes a personal day off work to take you to your doctor's appointments then takes you to brunch and a movie. will hold your hand the whole time

fought HR/managers/supervisors/ANYONE for as much paternity leave as he could get

asked if he could work from home bc he doesn't want to miss a single moment of your pregnancy or newborn baby

sits on the floor to talk to his baby girl and holds your tummy saying that he's holding her hand

made 20 copies of the sonogram picture and kept them all. there's a copy in his wallet, behind his phone case, in the glove compartment, and in every suit jacket pocket close to his heart. he likes to brag about his girls (you and baby)

comes back from the store with more diapers and wipes bc "we need to be prepared"

bookmarks blog posts talking about how to bond with your baby

reads every book he can and asks the doctor more questions than any other dad who comes into the office

will ask anyone he trusts for advice, but gets defensive when someone tells him to do something differently

takes naps with his head on your lap and his lips touching your belly

has two hospital bags ready in the closet but has an emergency one in the trunk... just in case

does not sleep the whole time you're in labor even when the nurses tell him to "rest before the baby gets here"... that gets him more excited and doesn't let him sleep

tells you to dig your nails into his arm if you need to when you start pushing. kisses your entire face when the baby starts to cry and rushes to the nurse holding her to ask if they could stamp the baby's feet on his shirt/gown before cleaning her (a/n: my dad did this with me and it is the cutest thing ever. we still have the gown with the tiny feet stamped on there)

carefully takes off the shirt/gown and immediately wants to do skin-to-skin contact after you hold the baby first

follows baby to the hospital nursery and takes pictures of sleeping baby to change his wallpaper

changes wallpaper every two days bc "she did something cute" or "sticking her tongue out" or "giving me the stink eye"

loves waking up with her at night bc besides letting you rest... it's daddy-daughter time so don't interrupt

demonstrates what tummy time is while she lays on her baby bouncer (you laugh bc it's ridiculous and she's only a couple weeks old)

buys scrapbook and disposable cameras to start an album (the first of a hundred probably)

buys special clips for crib blankets to be tight and immovable around mattress bc he kept reading about possible suffocation

either way, does not like for her to sleep in her own room so he buys an extra baby moses to put in your room

has an extra diaper bag in his car bc he likes impromptu trips to let mommy rest

sulking when he has to go back to work

finds remote job within the next month

sits baby down on his lap while be works and she plays with her toy

throws an intimate 1st bday party first then a second one the next weekend to invite anyone he's ever talked to and brag about his family

literally kicks his feet and giggles with his daughter then stands up to be the most intimidating man to anyone else

tears of joy when you're pregnant again and sobs when they say it's a girl

carries his girls with him everywhere he goes

is proud that he's raising strong women who will learn how to fight for themselves. keeps reminding himself that he's raising the next generation and that fuels a fire deep inside him

let's the girls play with his hair and put all the clips they can find around the house on his head

lets his fingers and toes be horribly painted while he reads the newspaper and leaves the house with those nails

gets teary eyed on the first day of school and waits outside the school the whole day for a week (paid time off used)

can only do simple pony tails and braids but loves waking the girls up, sitting them on his lap and doing their hair while you get them dressed

making cute lunches for the girls with you is one of his favorite parts of the day

likes dressing the girls alike or the same and has a strange obsession with buying them overalls

loves playing barbie with them and lowkey has a favorite barbie

goes toy shopping behind mommy's back and tells the girls that this is the only secret that they can ever ever keep

randomly brings back flowers for every single one of his girls

takes his girls (you and daughters) on group and individual dates

makes the girls sign a contract written in crayon stating they "will love daddy forever"... frames it and puts it in his office

cries tears of joy AGAIN when you're pregnant with another girl... and looks for a bigger house

rips off door side where he was marking the girl's height and puts it in the new house. he did not believe in marking/tracing it on another thin piece of wood and said he wanted the original

takes everyone out for dessert every Friday and checks in on each kid to see how they're feeling and if they're ok

never misses a single game, recital, rehearsal, practice, ANYTHING

takes his daughters to their first self-defense class

does not believe in violence and does not condone it... but will first ask the girls if they won the fight (strongly insinuates that he will be disappointed if someone kicks their ass)

corrects the girls when needed and has a special look to tell them to stop messing around

later goes to apologize if he ever uses the look

will ask the girls for a sleepover and will throw every blanket on the floor to make one huge bed

tells the girls to follow him as he does repairs around the house or on the car bc they "need to know how it all works and how to deal with it"

is shocked when you're pregnant again (even though he likes to do a certain something that leads to babies) but is REALLY SHOCKED when it's a boy this time

reminds the girls that they have to be nice and helpful with their brother

starts all the reading and bookmarking all over again, but his time on how to raise a gentleman

raises the best little dude and let's the girls show him everything he has shown them so far

okaaaay okay i know i said he's a girl dad and a girl dad only buuuuut Nanami would raise the best little gentleman ever. AND IMAGINE A MINI NANAMI?!! ... but he's still a girl dad first and foremost

extras:

would absolutely praise his wife and randomly thank her for giving him a family

will wear a disguise and follow daughters to first date

refuses to parentify any of his kids and wants to let them be kids

constantly reminds them that they only get to be kids for a short amount of time then they have to be adults for the rest of their lives. so be silly

is always down for a quiet drive if anyone needs to clear their head

dreads the day when he will no longer he able to carry his kids on his shoulders

has already made mental plans for every possible situation the kids may create, even the absolutely crazy ones his brain has imagined

is very open w the girls and talks about safety in intimacy

leaves cute notes during bad or iffy days and writes motivational quotes on their mirrors with dry-erase markers

loves when you say he's a dilf

tries to talk to them about the stock market

passes his budgeting king crown to the kids

feels super cool when his kids brag to their friends about him, even puffs his chest a little bit

[bentosandbox]

Ambience Synesthesia tutorial blog

rambled this out because I didn't have inflight wifi otw home and the turbulence was too crazy to draw

Buying the ticket

erm so they only dropped the tickets like slightly less than a month before lol kinda insane

The concert tickets were sold on Damai so you need a CN number or know/pay someone with one who'd buy it for you which is what I did by recommendation (A tier 1280 + 400 'service fee' [apparently it would have been cheaper if they only helped you half way or something but i wasnt gonna risk running into a payment hiccup so]) Iirc they sold it in two batches but I don't remember the ratio split between first and second wave…

I got a ticket for 5/5's afternoon show (so the second last performance), I DID meet an oomf who said they managed to snag a ticket for themselves on their own (without a Professional Ticket Snatcher) so its not too impossible to attain on your own I think??? (I didn't get a CN number until like 2 days before I flew back home soo)

Professional Ticket what?? Uhhh apparently there's a whole industry/scene for this you look for listings on xianyu/taobao etc for people to buy on your behalf, you have to give them your real name and identification number (so for foreigners it'd be your passport number) for verification purposes during entry so yknow yea

getting there

You could cab directly to the venue but my friend signed us up for the free shuttle bus (they had freebies last year but not this time) and before we boarded they gave us like free water and bread (apparently free raincoats too on rainy days) which was nice of them but also insane because. the venue doesn't allow you to bring food/drinks in so a lot of people were leaving A LOT of unopened bottles near the gate and I saw a venue staff just throwing them all into the bin (HOPEFULLY JUST TO CARRY THEM AWAY IN ONE GO AND NOT FOR STRAIGHT DISPOSAL….) They drop you off near the venue but you don't go in directly, there's a 'Doctor break room' where most people are seated waiting to be ushered in batches into the venue, but also a lot of people standing around on one side of the room swapping/offering merch

merch swap

ive been told this is a very concert culture thing but i feel like its kind of different because a lot of these are so high quality ike…you could sell them at Artist Alleys but here they are just distributing for free if you have a E2 60 blorbo lmao or whatever (there seems to be a tiny…? minority that prints official art but most of them seem to be handdrawn/made)

i was too unprepared for this lol i did exchange some of my old stickers (missed out on a collapsal plastic fan bc my brain lagged when the guy asked me and i went to my auto 'sorry i dont have any merch' response' :( regretted this bc the room got a little hot from the amount of people in there and i was wearing like 3 layers with that fan on my mind)

from people watching a lot of trades are arranged beforehand on weibo/other sites unless you're willing to yell WHO WANTS TO TRADEEE/anyone wants freebies (a lot of people were also wearing 'Feel Free to Swap Merch/Ask for Freebies' tags) which i was definitely not brave enough to do lol… met up with an oomf i got to know from last dec when i attended an arknights only and they gave me some birbs and charms (bottom of post), there was someone who got a free LGD zine and charm from me bc i posted on wb that id give a free copy to anyone with a Mod 3 swire/swummer LMFAO

I had 2 more people to meet but, uhhh so I bought an esim for mobile data and it would intermittently lose signal here and there which was a little annoying when getting coffee but it just died entirely when i reached the venue and it was kind of Dire because i was waiting for one more friend who was coming over from the fes and i couldn't contact them lmao. told the friend i came with to go in first because I thought if my food got confiscated at least my oomf could see it beforehand LOL

waited outside in a light drizzle for an hour trying to trouble shoot my data to no avail and ended up borrowing a staff's wifi hotspot to get my entry qr code (I actually bought a second data roaming plan on my local sim but i quite stupidly did not check the country coverage and only learned later that night that 'Asia' doesn't cover China kuxiao) she was so nice i was (bow emoji) so sorry to trouble you im a stupid gaijin and she was like no its ok enjoy shanghai!! pien

spent a good 30min next to this board praying for data to no avail

the show

erm anyway because of that clownery above i more or less missed the first piece (the one w the goated hoho) but at least i wasnt the guy next to me who went for a bathroom break right before starset came up

The live singing this year was definitely an improvement I think… I can't really remember the setlist off the top of my head but I'm sure someone else has already listed it out, there were a couple of new pieces that weren't related to the concert groups like a Babel/Kazdel?? one sung in Latin, a Victoria…? one (in victorian ofc) also an Amiya (? just remembering by the visuals they used lol) one in Japanese

ohh yeah so almost every track would start with like a faction logo transitioning in from 3d to 2d which was cool but also amusing because it was honestly bringing quite the 'I will Make Your Company Logo Into 3D Fiverr' vibes

Since I missed the first piece idk if any of The Dreamer(s) got 3D models but The Pilgrim(s why are they all singular) had Kaltsit playing on that piano (there was also a replica of that piano on stage the white one complete with 'Arknights' text on it lmao) and Siege being cool running around in 3D (and ofc Eureka during her denpa number) it was very cool but man... its a pity the other characters in the group just get their live2d png during the beginning and effectively get sidelined lool compared to say Phenomenal Agents idk if i like this tradeoff but that eureka bit was so good sheesh #NOVAFIVE⭐ULTRALIVESWEEP

The other stuff was really great too looking at you Lone Trail medley…!!!!! I might be wrong but I... assume... you're encouraged to karaoke bc they always show the lyrics on screen… I couldn't even hear myself anyway but it was very fun singing songs you can't get on joysound/etc with a whole crowd going at it too (even if most of them would only sing 1-2 lines of the chorus)

Mary Clare did Radiant (they had the lyrics scrolling on the sides very cool) and iirc the Throne group's song...? Radiant was so fun live

Starset did Monster > Telescope and when the latter ended they were like Bye! and we(?) started yelling ENCORE--awkwardly because idk how they do it here (I was half expecting it to be JP style 'an-call-roo' but a bunch of us just yelled en-core en-core here and there until they returned to perform Infected) speaking of yelling.. between every piece when they had to switch sets people would just yell memes or skill names (like Dage's) to pass the time or sth i barely caught half of whatever they were memeing about

did i forget to mention anything else uhhh originium rock turntable for Guide Ahead's boss theme/Dossoles Lobby and they had IS4 medley live throat singing very cool also the dancers they got for silbenherze's boss theme good stuff...

iirc after starset was like a behind the scenes video of how HG prepared for AS and a recorded lowlight video saying some stuff that i forgot LOL just some thank you message basically. 9.5/10 bc no missy/shu EP live

i just realised i forgot to display all the merch from the A tier ticket but w/e. light stick photo ft. merch swaps/gifts from friends and strangers 🥹 (the iffy lenticular card was literally dropped into my bag by an iffy coser (wearing the LT outfit..?!) while waiting for the cab LMAO)

[erectionsandtea]

Poly party summer fun headcanons, part 2 ! 😀 (this got way too long so I’m posting it as it is, and if I get more ideas, or if you guys want to send me anything 😉, I’ll either reblog this post or make a new one.) Enjoy!

(part 1 can be found here)

Amusement park: (these are based on amusement parks I have been to since they're all I know, lol)

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

- they go early so they can do everything (twice) but they also stay until it gets dark bc El wants to see all the lights

- one of her favorite rides is the big ship that swings back and forth because it feels like flying

- Max, Lucas, and Dustin take El on her first roller coaster ride, and it's super scary but she also loves it (Robin and Nancy go, too)

Lucas and Dustin scream like little girls on the roller coaster and become the butt of many jokes about it (most of them from Max)

Max and Lucas would totally try to kiss for the roller coaster camera (idk why okay, stop me) but the photo would look absolutely ridiculous and Max’s hair is fuckin EvERYWHERE

El uses some of her money to buy a copy of the photo (she buys a copy of their photo from every ride, it's a lot of money, but the others help her out with it), and when she gets home, Will helps her make a collage of all the photos that she puts up in her room

- El also wants caricatures, but they don't have enough money for everyone (so she just gets one of herself). Will watches the artist, who gives him tips on how to do it so he can draw some for El later (and he totes does bc good brother vibes)

- they do the ferris wheel last bc it is super romantic (even more so at night), and everyone wants to go with everyone else. Max wants to go up every time someone else does bc she wants to try to spy on them, lol

Groups, in order from side to other side (sitting, not riding order):

for her very first time: Max/El/Mike (her two bffs, aka her bf and gf)

Mike/Will

Max/Lucas

Dustin/Suzie

El/Max/Lucas

El/Mike/Will

El/Mike

El/Max

the guy running the ferris wheel is just like “you kids again???” bc they keep just getting off the ride and going straight to the back of the line to go up again, but eventually they have to stop bc the park is literally about to close and they’ll be kicked out

- there's also a haunted house ride and El absolutely has to ride with Mike bc when she is scared or feels like she's in danger, he's always been the best at making her feel okay again. She clings to him throughout the ride, but ends up laughing at how cheesy not-scary most of the effects are.

- as exhilarating as the drop rides are, El doesn’t like going on them too much but she can do it like, once. maybe twice.

- Lucas and Max, and Dustin and Will, like that ride that’s like the ferris wheel except you’re in a cage and you can manipulate the cage (by spinning it and stuff) to take you upside down. Dustin and Max do it too much, like to an extreme, and Will and Lucas are like “stop, the world is literally spinning” and they’re very disoriented when they get off

- there’s a rapids ride, and since the rafts are big enough to hold 8 people, the whole party is able to go together in one, and then the teens can go together in another one. they totally get sprayed by bystanders. 

- there's a shooting game (like where you go through a tunnel on a track, and targets pop up and you shoot them)

Lucas is the best and El rides with him bc the best should introduce the newbie, and she has so much fun, it's nothing like the guns she's experienced in her previous (lab) life.

Max and Dustin fight really hard to be second best.

Mike and Will go together and compared to the others, they suck, but that's okay they have fun anyway, and they joke about their own terribleness.

- Dustin buys those deep-fried snacks (you know the ones I mean) and he is literally the only person in the group that likes them (okay, not true, Robin can handle them, too)

El, against the advice of the others, wants to try those snacks bc she’s never heard of anything like that before, and the first time she takes a bite, her face goes through a range of like 10 emotions bc she’s being assaulted by flavors-

but after she manages to swallow it, she’s like “wow, that was amazing” and the others are like “...you serious??”

Mike is just like “that is disgusting and I’m not kissing you after that lol” and El is just like “but...why?” (he totes does tho, he doesn’t give a f, he’s kissing his gf bc he just can’t resist the cuteness)

Nancy, even though she doesn’t necessarily like it, can totally handle taking a bite and finishing it (like that beer from season 1) and Robin is like “that’s impressive, band geek” and Nancy’s just like “I’m not in band” (idk lol)

- El wanting to try EVERY food but the others have to cut her off bc it’s so expensive and she will get so sick

- Mike being a good bf and holding souvenirs bought by his bf and gf (Will totally buying a sweet little something for his awesome mom) (El totally doing the same thing to remind herself of Hopper, but she keeps it in her room instead)

- Lucas also being a good bf for the same reason but complaining about it, lol

- everyone goes on the log ride (you might know it as the flume) bc there isn’t a person on earth who doesn’t like that ride, and even tho she knows about the impending splash, El is still super surprised when it happens

Groups, in order (front to back):

El, Mike, Max, and Lucas (Max is explaining to El over Mike’s shoulder that “you absolutely HAVE TO be in the front, it’s the best way”)

Suzie, Dustin, Steve, and Robin (irrelevant but don’t tell me Robin sits in front of Steve, there’s no fuckin way, she’s not his gf, also Steve and Dustin just have to sit together bruh)

Will, Dustin (bc obvsly he goes on again), Nancy, and Jonathan

Mike has his arms around El like he thinks he’s going to protect her from the huge spray of water (but his skinny arms won’t protect shit lol) and he somehow manages to make a decent photo come out of him kissing her cheek while she is simultaneously screaming (good screaming)

- everyone loves the bumper cars (Jonathan and Suzie hang back tho, to hold everyone’s stuff and cheer from the side)

Max, as the only one (sans teens) who has actually driven a car before, rides with El so she can teach her how to do it

her and Lucas (with his passenger Will) are automatically in competition with one another (”you’re going down!” “no, YOU’RE going down!”)

Robin, riding by herself, goes after Steve and driver Nancy (who’s surprisingly good at this)

and Dustin (passenger Mike) gangs up with Robin to take on Steve and Nancy, which makes Nancy even more determined now to destroy both of them

Steve’s a little afraid of Nancy when she’s like this, lol

eventually Dustin and Robin are like “okay okay, we’ll stop! jesuschrist, how did you get so good at this??” (but also they are just in total awe of Nancy) and they just go after each other instead

- El doesn’t like spinning rides (too dizzy and they totally make her tummy “feel weird, like there’s a storm in it” “uh oh, you’re nauseous, El” “naw-shus?” “yeah, like sick, here, sit down for a minute”), but Will loves them and he’s there for her

- the sky ride (the one that takes you from end of the park to the other), groups:

Mike and Will on one side, Max and El on the other (the seats are basically little cabins, seats for 4 people)

Lucas and Dustin on one side, Jonathan and Steve on the other

Robin on one side (she totally takes up the whole double space, putting her leg up), Nancy and Suzie on the other

- carousel ride! (during the day)

El wants the prettiest horse

Max gets the most badass thing which is like...a wolf??

Lucas and Dustin ride only bc there’s a game where you can try to throw rings into a hole while going around (they each get one in by pure luck but otherwise suck). they don’t really care what animals they get, they just need ones that move up and down. Dustin gets a cat with a fish in his mouth, and Lucas ends up just picking a rabbit before everything is taken and he doesn’t have a choice anymore. The others fuckin laugh at the image of Lucas riding a rabbit

Suzie gets another horse

Will gets a lion which doesn’t move up and down but he’s okay with that, he’s kinda just going bc everyone else is

Mike gets stuck with a horse bc he was at the back of the group and by the time he gets there, every other non-horse animal is taken (but they joke about how he should have gotten the non-moving giraffe, taken by Steve, bc it’s so tall and gangly like him lol)

Nancy gets a horse

Robin takes the wild boar bc “dude that is the most badass animal on a carousel I have ever seen!”

Jonathan stays behind, no matter how much the others beg, but he takes lots of really good pictures (including the one time Dustin gets the ring in the hole and then cheering, then also him and Lucas high-fiving, and the various couples exchanging really cute looks, and El having the best time ever bc she’s never been on one of these before)

they go on the carousel one more time near the end of the night and this time Jonathan gives in and rides with them, but he sits in one of the benches that’s just there for the parents), and he still takes pictures as best he can without getting up and moving

- photo booth photos! (I’ll leave the silly face ones up to your imagination)

El and Max (one super close hug with faces pressed together, one kiss, one silly faces, and one smiles)

Will and Mike, but Max and El totally burst in for like, the last 1.5 pictures, it doesn’t ruin them tho, Mike and Will just ignore them (one nice smiles bc they’re like “what do we do??”, one hug, one kiss being interrupted by the girls in the background, one candid laughing while the girls wave at the camera)

Will and Mike again (one candid of Mike holding the curtain shut to make sure no interruptions and Will laughing, one kiss (non-interrupted), one silly faces, one just being super cute and close together and leaning on each other)

Max and Lucas (one smiles, one kiss, one of her pretending to look tough by putting him in a headlock or putting a fist next to his face like a punch, one that was supposed to be funny faces but instead is her looking off to the side where Mike has opened the curtain and stuck his head (with his tongue out) in as revenge and Lucas with that look of “dude, really??” on his face)

Dustin and Suzie (one kiss, one smiles, one nose-to-nose, one super close together leaning on each other cute)

Mike and El (one smiles, one kiss, one of him like surprise-trying to pull her into his lap kind of thing idk and her just looking super surprised but happy but also Max is in the background ruining YET ANOTHER picture, and one candid of them giggling about the previous picture with their foreheads pressed together almost nose-to-nose)

Mike and El again bc she wants non-interrupted photos (one with her actually sitting in his lap this time (she did this beforehand so he wouldn’t scare her again with the surprise-pulling thing), one of them pretending to look all hoity-toity like super models, one with her arms around his neck and his arms around her waist and they’re all close and cute sort of candid, and one just like the last one except they’re looking at the camera and smiling)

Will and Mike and El (one with Mike in the middle while his gf and bf give him a kiss on each cheek, one with El hanging over Mike’s shoulders in sort of a half-piggyback and he and Will are laughing, one with Mike and Will kissing while El makes a funny face at the camera, one of them all making funny faces at the camera)

Max and El and Mike (one with El in the middle, Max’s arms are around her waist almost dipping her backwards, her legs are up in the air (as far up as they can go in the tiny booth) and her head is tilting back onto Mike’s shoulder with his arms around her shoulders and he’s pressing a kiss to her hair, one with El kissing Mike’s cheek while he and Max make funny faces, one with Max behind them and her arms over both of their shoulders pulling them all close and their faces squished together with this super big cheesy grin while Mike is laughing at El’s funny face, one with Mike and El kissing and Max sitting next to them making the 👌🏻 symbol and winking at the camera, bc she just has to get sassy)

Bonus, more teens:

- Robin takes Steve on all the crazy rides (aka drags him, makes him go, etc.) They both get a little sick, but for her it's totally worth it (for him...not so much)

- Dustin and Robin get along hella bc he joins them on the crazy rides and is just @steve like “what are you, a pussy?”

- Nancy has to remind Jonathan that the kids will be FINE, and they don't need to hover around them all evening, "let's go enjoy ourselves"

- Nancy likes roller coasters, CHAnGE mY MInD

- Steve and Robin totally scream when they go on the drop ride together, except Robin’s scream is more “holy shit, exhilarating and so exciting! whooooo!” while Steve’s is more “this is fun but also I’m totally gonna die!!”

- Steve is a boss at those games where you have to throw something at/into/onto a target and he wins a stuffed animal

- Robin is p decent at those games too, but she’s not a match for the king (she comes close though, they actually turn it into a competition to see who can win more stuff)

- Nancy kicks butt at that game where you shoot a spray of water and make the target thing rise to the top or race or whatever (any shooting game, really), you know what I mean (Jonathan fucking fails, sorry Jonathan)

- Steve totally wins that game where you swing a mallet and try to ring the bell. Robin doesn’t win but she gets way closer than they thought she would and Steve’s “wtf”. Dustin is also stronger than he looks, and even tho he doesn't win, he can at least lift the (smaller) mallet, which is more than any of the others can do.

- Robin HAS to do that game where you try to climb the flat, almost horizontal rope ladder to the end and she doesn’t even make it halfway before she falls, but it’s hilarious

- Nancy also tries that game after some goading from the others, and she makes it farther than Robin (about halfway) but still fails fantastically. And then she takes a bow.

[curious-menace]

The rogue gallery members general reaction to encountering the batman who laughs and his creepy ass Robin's.

ok id like to preface this by saying that red death batman straight up crucified riddler and decapitated scarecrow and the batman who laughs is MUCH worse than red death batman. 

i want to enjoy the dark knights metal but it is needlessly fuckin complicated with all this multiverse oververse omniverse shit. maybe i just don't have the galaxy brain necessary to get it so i apologize if this is all wrong 

(also i know its canon that the batman who laughs has no rogues gallery left, either because he killed them or joker killed them before he turned but hey ho hypotheticals it is)

also no one talk to me about kiss fan lookin riddler from this verse. im not ready. 

Penguin

i think his first reaction was to laugh. Batman’s finally gone and he took joker with him. I mean he literally calls him "bat gimp". I seriously doubt he anticipated the fallout of batman becoming some sort of hideous joker hybrid. he still chuckled when he started seeing the news. someone calling themselves “the batman who laughs” and “the darkest knight” then he sees the robins, he even recognises damien and it makes him a little sick. he books the next flight out of goodwin before things get too hot. 

shame goodwin was burned to the ground to stop anyone leaving gotham. 

with everyone inside. 

Twoface

i dont think its an exaggeration to say he was absolutly fuckin horrified. it's rare that harvey and two face agree on something, but this bastard has to go. the murder and mayhem he could tolerate, hell even killing the other rogues, some of them needed to be stopped. but having to look at this creature and know it was once bruce? harvey knows better than anyone its a fate worse than death to be trapped in your own mind with someone else running the show. they do their best to stop the darkest knight, bring all the hired guns they can to the fight but it wasnt enough. Harvey dies, but at least he went out trying to do the right thing.

Poison Ivy

She sensed him coming, her flowers screaming at her to save herself. part of me wants to hope she took one look at that abomination and noped the fuck out of there to slaughter swamp or something. but we know ivy, she stands her ground like a tree planted by a river. she looks people like batman and joker right in the eye and down the barrel of a gun and says “no, you move” Shes not a good person, but in this verse she might as well be the hero of the story, maybe the only meta human in gotham who stood a chance against him. The batman who laughs was scared of her and thats why she had to die. if she’d just minded her own business she might still be here but no. She dares the batman who laughs to come for her, she’s going to take him out. for what he did to her plants, to gotham, to HER home and HER friends. unfortunately for her ivy was one of the first on his kill list. She doesn't go down without a fight. ironically it was her human qualities, the human drive to help people that got her killed. she heard one of the robins crying and went to investigate. the batman who laughs doesn't care about those robins, he’s got a basement full of jokerized kids to throw at people. 1 to trick her and a few more to hold her down while he doused the lot of them with weedkiller and gasoline then poof.

i doubt the botanical gardens will ever be the same. 

Scarecrow

part of me wants to say he’s loving this. He’s enjoying all the suffering and sadness and fear as the batman who laughs murders everyone and everything from the dandelions upwards . but he cant, not just because he’s not the one causing it. this is fear without meaning or purpose, this is killing hope so thoroughly that there is nothing left for people to fear, not even death. he’s not so foolish as to think he wont also be on the batman who laughs chopping block. so he makes himself scarce, works on a toxin that might be able to stop him or even slow him down so someone has a shot at it. Jon knows hes going to die, its only a matter of time before that thing calling itself the darkest knight sends one of his minions to his doorstep. He’s been working on something to try and help the rabid robins. he has a small soft spot in his cold obsidian heart for kids and looking at these creatures makes him physically ill. 

he thinks hes made a breakthrough, thinks he’s finally got a formula that will effect batman and the joker and hopefully, whatever abomination they’ve become . he decides theres no time like the present to try it out when word of the other rouges deaths reach him. he’s the last one left and thats....well its scary. His surprise attack works, the robins go down without a fight, screaming and scratching at their faces, their throats and each other. regrettable but if he stops the darkest knight now, maybe jon can help them. Just when he thinks he’s got him, scarecrow goes down. so close, he falls at the finishing line, his toxin having as much effect as a gentle summers breeze. Much like the original scarecrow , the batman who laughs likes using guns. For jon however? he makes an exception. poor scarecrow gets eviscerated by his own scythe, pilfered from arkham asylum by the batman who laughs. gotta love the classics, right?

Riddler

Riddler was second on his kill list. only because the batman who laughs knew how much it would annoy riddler not to be at the top. He’s another rogue who stood a chance of stopping him if he really tried. sadly edward is nowhere near as altruistic as harvey, and could never be as strong as ivy. He likes to think his escape is for everyone's benefit. live to fight another day and all that. He learned from harvey and pamelas mistakes, took one look at this new batman and his creepy kids and said “fuck that noise” and tried to run. except he didn't really try. god if he’d only gotten out of the city, he would have been the only rogue that survived. the batman who laughs looks at him like a pathetic insect, unworthy of notice. he’d have killed riddler eventually, maybe put him in a riddle with no answer or a trap with no escape for extra irony points but he wasn't about to stop the little green cockroach from skittling away.  but of course, riddlers ego got in the way; he just HAD to try and best this new batman, no matter how much he scared the shit out of riddler he just HAD to try. and of course, pride comes before downfall. 

The batman who laughs helpfully provided riddler with some rope to help break his fall. 

Harley Quinn

some part of her was happy to have joker back. he was different, scarier but she was used to the abuse. what she wasn't used to were all the kids. she recognised damian wayne but didn't quite put the pieces together to realise it was bruce under there. she thought maybe he was just a random casualty . she tried hard to look after the kids but they act like animals rather than humans, there was nothing she could do.As time went on she found it harder and harder to sit at the right hand of this clown prince of horrors. harley has always been along for the ride, but how are you supposed make the whole world laugh if everyone in it is dead? i dont know what happens to harley in this world. either she leaves and much like joker, the batman who laughs fails to notice, shes killed by him because he was bored or she does when the world is destroyed by barbatos. either way, no happy endings here. 

Thanks for this incredibly depressing ask Ghostly T-T

im kidding, im kidding it was fun! it makes me wish i knew what the everloving FUCK was going on with this verse so i could enjoy it properly. the only comic store i know of has been closed since like march of last year and i don't know what im looking for on amazon to actually order them. i have 1 issue of nth metal but it was interesting enough that i want the collection.

if anyone knows what the collection is actually called hmu bc i wanna buy it. 

yes i could read it online but i like owning the hard copies. 

got something you wana talk about? send me an ask or a dm!💜💙🧡💛💚❤️

[lwjstiletto]

wangxian au where lwj is a popular hand model and wwx is an independent jewellery maker [Part 1]

[Twitter thread version]

wwx is a go-getter kind of guy. he likes pretty things and pretty people. so his job is a win-win in that he makes pretty things for pretty people— well mostly

lately all his brain has churned out is designs that only the very nice old ladies in his neighbourhood indulgently buy from him

he’s grateful for it but nevertheless it’s been disheartening looking for the elusive muse for his next project

jiang cheng only sighs whenever he mentions this and rants about how if wwx just LISTENED to him and actually put effort into commercialising his bestsellers instead of hyperfocusing on one body part/gem/technique and hopping from one product to the next; and in general just making his business a chaotic mess where clients couldn’t guess what he would put out next, that he would have a better shot

but ofc wwx sighs even more at this and just goes ‘but jiang cheng~’

what kind of argument even is that? but jc lets it go bc wwx supplies him with endless half-finished projects that are complicated-looking enough to give his students a good challenge when drawing still life

so anyways, wwx is still making old lady jewellery and being generally pitiful when he stumbles across an intriguing article on twitter

—•—

lwj on the other hand has been fastening and unfastening his cufflinks for an hour straight. that’s pretty much status quo for hand models who have to spend hours on end either doing repetitive gestures or holding completely still

lwj doesn’t mind though, he has always had steady hands and dextrous fingers, practically an advertiser’s ‘wet dream’ as his agent, nhs, puts it

said agent pulls him aside when it’s finally time for his break. nhs looks harried, which isn’t out of the ordinary, but he’s also not meeting lwj’s eyes which sets of alarm bells in his head

“okay before i tell you,” nhs starts without prompting, “promise not to fire me.”

lwj doesn’t narrow his eyes, but the twitch of his eyebrow is close enough, “i will be fair.”

“that’s not a-“ nhs sighs, “good enough i guess. do you remember that photoshoot you did with da-ge a few months back?”

lwj nods. how could he forget? it had been... an experience for sure. it was a photoshoot for a book cover for a popular teen novel

and while lwj didn’t meet fellow hand models often, he had come across other ‘parts models’ as they were called

spending the better part of two days caressing nmj’s abs was... by far not the most unpleasant job he’d had as a hand model

nhs holds out a copy of the novel for him to see. the cover they used is from the second half of the photoshoot where they took a few wider shots

lwj sees nothing wrong with it. it’s a standard cover, if a bit lewd due to all the... ab touching. in fact the entire cover is just nmj’s abs and wide shoulders

lwj doesn’t think his hands serve any other purpose than obstructing the view in the poorest attempt to keep it pg. still he fails to see the problem

nhs wrings his hands together, “there was a blog post about it. do you know anyone named su she?”

lwj thinks for a moment, then vaguely recalls the name with a sinking realisation

—•—

wwx is still thinking about the article when jin zixuan comes to drop jin ling off at his apartment. unprompted, wwx asks him, “do you think i could sell feet pics?”

he can see jzx’s soul leave his body as he drops jin ling’s overnight bag on the pavement. wwx’s favourite new hobby is dropping these bombs on jzx and watching him dissociate from reality as he tries to answer wwx’s insane questions with logic

being a father has changed him. a few years ago he would have just slammed the nearest door in wwx’s face

“why... do you want to sell feet pics? is your business not going well?” jzx asks, and actually looks concerned. well, now wwx feels bad

“my business is just fine.” wwx says grumpily

“really? jiang cheng and yanli seem to think otherwise.”

“you eavesdropped on them didn’t you?”

jzx is entirely unashamed, “i’m just concerned.”

“again, my business is fine!”

“you know if you ever needed money-“

wwx turns jzx around and pushes him towards his car, “don’t you have things to do? get jin ling out of the car seat, it’s getting late.”

since the peacock has acquired immunity to his teasing by straight up being ~nice~ to him, it’s only fair that wwx sends jin ling back with so many new toys that they will take up at least a whole corner in his unnecessarily gigantic home

—•—

lwj meets his brother for iced tea at a cafe near huaisang’s office. lwj does not like iced tea but has deliberately kept this from his brother because lxc loves it and has made it his personal mission to try every iced tea flavour he can get his hands on

it is also the easiest way to lure his brother out of his busy schedule. lwj knows lxc would take time to meet him anyway, but he wants lxc to indulge in something he likes once in a while

“wangji, you seem restless.” lxc says, concerned

lwj takes a tentative sip of his black currant iced tea. it’s abhorrent

“do you remember su she?” lwj asks

lxc, “the one from your cello class?”

lwj nods

“the one who broke his string and his bow in the same day?” lxc asks, almost looking amused

lwj winces, “yes.”

“did he ever come back to the class after that?” lxc asks

lwj shakes his head, then taps the glass with a gloved finger

“has he been bothering you again?” lxc asks seriously, “if he has-“

“it’s-“ lwj sighs, “complicated.”

before lxc can make assumptions, lwj unlocks his phone and shows it to lxc

lxc reads silently for a minute or two, then his eyes widen. “he posted this on the novel’s discussion forum?”

lwj nods

“how did he even-“ lxc says, then pauses in thought, “is it because of the cello class?”

“mn, perhaps.” lwj says, “he saw the book cover i did with huaisang’s brother. he is a fan of the novel.”

“so he went and researched the models who were on the cover?” lxc frowns, “how did he even find that?”

“my name is public information.” lwj says, “it would certainly be hard to find, but it is available nonetheless.”

“are you going to be okay?” lxc asks.

“i am worried it will impact your reputation. my job is not... conventional.” lwj doesn’t meet his brother’s gaze

“wangji, that is the least of my concerns. you did not want to do conventional modelling by choice.” lxc says

he isn’t wrong, lwj hadn’t wanted to have his face photographed, it had never appealed to him. no matter how many compliments he received on his looks

his popularity started and ended within the advertising circle and nhs never offered him jobs he didn’t want. putting a face to his popular hand modelling career was not an ideal situation

especially since it had reached a lot of the novel’s fans who’d begun discussing him on other social media platforms

“i will handle this.” lxc says, “this is not right. you especially drew up contracts with advertisers to avoid this situation.”

“brother-“ lwj starts

“he should not have posted pictures of you.” lxc isn’t even drinking his iced tea, lwj notes

“it is already out. there is not much we can do.” lwj says reasonably

lxc doesn’t quite seethe but he doesn’t touch his iced coffee again

—•—

wwx finally admits to himself that he may be experiencing a slump. he hasn’t touched his tools in two months and his work bench has acquired a thick layer of dust on which jin ling drew a frowny face with his fingers then immediately tried to lick them

and what does one do when lacking motivation? harrass his brother in his cushy office at the university of course

to his credit, jc lets him prace around and poke at his things for a solid ten seconds before snapping at him. which means he and jyl must actually be worried about him

“wei wuxian” jc says through clenched teeth when wwx has pushed the paperweight on his desk to the very edge, trying to see how far jc would let him take it

ah, so not worried enough to break into his house at night, wwx notes

“so, do you think i could sell foot pics?” wwx uses his favourite new icebreaker

jc puts his head in his hands like wwx put the worlds’ weight on his shoulders. if he listens closely, he’s sure he can hear a repetition of ‘why why why why’ in jc’s head

“why...” jc forces himself to say

wwx shurgs with a grin, “i read an article about it. apparently a lot of people are into feet.”

“into... feet...” jc says

“yeah like they get off-“

jc holds up a hand to stop him, “i get it. did you come all the way across the city to ask me this?”

“yes and no.” wwx says, “i wanted to ask if you could draw me some.”

“some... feet...?” jc is going to kick him out soon, wwx can feel it

wwx places his chin in both his hands and tries to look pitiful, “isn’t it better than me buying foot pics? think of how that would reflect on you if anyone found out.”

jc feels a headache coming on, “please tell me you’re using them as reference to design anklets or something.”

wwx laughs, “of course! what did you think?”

jc glares at him, “i will ban you from campus.”

wwx bothers him a bit more and then gets thrown out more gently than he has come to expect from jc, still not sure if jc will actually fulfill his request

and maybe it’s because his luck has been down for too long that life took pity and decided to throw something good at him, he turns the corner to see one of the most beautiful men he has laid his eyes on

his attention is focused on the folder in his hands, and it’s late enough that there are no students milling the corridors. this is probably why the aforementioned beautiful, stunning, abolutely breathtaki- man manages to walk straight into wwx

several things happen at once. wwx sees it coming unlike the other person, so he reaches out to steady him. turns out there isn’t much need of that because the man gets his bearings back alarmingly fast for someone caught by surprise

the folder in his hands does not have similar balance though, and falls to the floor, splattering it’s contents halfway across the hallway

the man looks... well neutral, but the speed at which he drops to his knees lets wwx know that it’s not something he wants wwx to see

which, of course has the opposite effect. when wwx looks down to see the photographs that have not yet been put back into the folder- he is left speechless for once

the immediate and most obvious explanation is that this guy is an art student who is using these pictures as reference... but of course wwx’s first thought is Oh mY gOd this guy has a hand fetish because his talk with jc is still fresh in his head

once that thought is in his head, wwx notices a number of things in quick sequence

this dude looks uncharacteristically nervous for an innocent art student, and he’s wearing GLOVES like a CRIMINAL who’s STEALING pictures of those pretty hands from an art class for his own pleasure

art students don’t wear gloves, especially not in the middle of summer! and no one can possibly require that many pictures for just one body part

satisfied with his reasonable conclusion, wwx opens his mouth to accuse the man only to realise that he is upright once again with all his stolen pictures securely in his folder

“are you stealing those?” wwx asks straightforwardly

the man actually does seem to be caught off-guard for longer than two seconds this time

then he proceeds to walk past wwx

“hey wait!” wwx blocks his path again, “i get it, you know? we all have needs and i’m totally not judging you for it. but there are sites for this stuff.”

the man finally looks at him, and wow he’s even more attractive than wwx first thought and his eyes are so pretty and- he walks past wwx again

wwx, yet again, catches up to him and decides that walking beside him is more effective. “good quality photography like that is usually quite expensive you know?”

the man continues to ignore him so wwx grabs the folder in his hands and gives it a good yank

“what are you doing?” the man finally speaks. even his voice is nice. wwx is sure people would send him hand pics for free if he asked

“returning this to the rightful owner.” wwx holds the folder out of his reach

the man takes a deep breath, then pulls at one of his satin gloves- SATIN, how did wwx not notice that- and holds his beautiful hand up to wwx’s face

wwx’s brain immediately short circuits as he thinks ‘maybe ~I~ am the one with a hand fetish’ because that’s... one pretty hand

one... familiar hand. the same even tone, smooth skin and long, elegant fingers with perfectly manicured nails...

while he stands there, gaping like a fish, the man snatches the folder out of his hand and starts walking away with quicker strides

by the time wwx’s brain reboots and the realisation finally sinks in- he has finally found the muse he has been looking for- the man is already gone

—•—

lwj admits that he is... slightly stressed out, and is definitely showing enough signs of it that nhs has caught on

“you went to visit wen qing yesterday.” it’s not a question so lwj doesn’t answer. “did you perhaps run into an old acquaintance?”

lwj shakes his head, “it is not what you think.”

this sparks curiosity in nhs which is a toss up between better and worse than the implication that lwj’s stress stems from accidentally meeting su she at the university

“did you run into a fan?” nhs asks and it’s actually a reasonable concern since lwj wants to avoid even being /known/ at all costs

lwj shakes his head. he trusts nhs which isn’t as surprising now as it had been to him years ago when he had agreed to give nhs free reign over the work he chose for lwj

“somebody from the university knows of my identity.” lwj says finally.

nhs seems to think it over, “it was inevitable. even after taking down the blog post, people are still curious about you.”

lwj wants to tell him that it’s actually his fault but he stays silent as nhs continues his train of thought.

“you’re exciting because people have seen you without actually seeing you. you’ve worked with big brands and celebrities and it normally wouldn’t spark interest-

- but unfortunately for you, you are attractive. it will die down after a while, we just have to ride it out for now.” nhs concludes.

lwj nods, feeling reassured. nhs is usually right about these things, which is why lwj regards him so highly

he has a video shoot for some fancy kitchen installation company after that, and he tries not to think about the man who accused him of stealing his own pictures while he very slowly chops a mango on the surely unsanitary granite counter

he’s working with a photographer he knows well, one of the best in his line of work. song lan has a good eye for what would look enticing in an advert and doesn’t make him do weird, suggestive things like kneading dough in slow motion. lwj suppresses a shudder at the thought

after cutting enough magoes to feed ten people, the shoot finally wraps up and one of the PAs on the set holds out a basin for him to wash his hands in

the warm water is soothing to his aching fingers and he lets his hands soak but not for longer than a few seconds to prevent his skin from pruning. he then rubs the special concoction that is his version of the best moisturiser and puts his hands in soft cotton gloves

song lan comes to greet him after and expresses his sympathies about his pictures making rounds on the internet

lwj’s eyes widen ever so slightly, “you know of it?”

“my boyfriend is a fan.” he says with a fond shake of his head, “otherwise i’d have no idea.”

luckily before lwj can start to panic, nhs trots up to them and the conversation ends there as he’s dragged to his next shoot

—•—

“for the last time, i don’t know your ‘guy with pretty hands’.” jc says, exasperated. “what’s with you and body parts nowadays? if it’s a kink thing.. please rethink your life.”

wwx sighs. he knew going to jc was useless, but at least it confirmed his suspicion that the guy isn’t an art student

however, that makes the task of finding him and then begging him to model wwx’s jewellery harder. because yes, wwx has spent the last five days cooped up in his workshop making complex hand chains

now if he only had more than a memory to draw inspiration from...

it’s frustrating. wwx should have at least asked for his name and number. how can he be this stupid?

“very easily.” is jc’s reply to this

“jiang chengggg.” wwx whines, “i have to find him or my creativity will die a horrible death.”

jc looks like he is ageing before his eyes. “if i ask around the staff will you promise to only come to my office during emergencies? you’re freaking my students out.”

“yes!” wwx agrees enthusiastically, then frowns. “freaking them out? i’m so nice to everyone!”

“you tried to get at least five of my students to draw your pretty boy from description.” jc deadpans, “they think he’s a criminal.”

“a criminal after my heart, aha!” wwx says with finger guns.. and gets thrown out by jc for his efforts. it’s less gentle this time

a few days later, jc calls him, “apparently ‘his identity needs to be protected’. is he actually a criminal?”

“he was wearing gloves...” wwx mutters, “i’m kidding! not about the gloves, but i don’t think he’s a criminal.”

jc makes a doubtful noise on the other end. “well, whatever. so yeah, anyway, i can’t get wen qing to tell me anything. you can come bully her yourself if you dare to.”

“why does it have to be wen qing?” wwx groans, “she’ll roast me on low flame before she tells me anything. why couldn’t it be wen ning— wait. wen ning probably knows him too. jiang cheng i’m a genius!”

jc hangs up on him but it doesn’t dampen his spirits at all. he’s so close to finding him.

—•—

shoots where he has to hold objects for an extended period of time are already unkind to his muscles, but holding objects with /postures/ is even worse. his fingers are so stiff after his seven hour shoot with swarovski that when one of the assistants on set hands him a cup of warm tea, it slips right through his grip and shatters on the ground unceremoniously

everyone freezes, and then start to buzz around him, asking if he is feeling unwell or if he needs to sit down. because lwj never drops /anything/. it’s in his job description NOT to drop anything

god, lwj hates jewellery shoots the most

nhs hears about this, ofc. lwj suspects he can be at multiple places at a time. so lwj is neatly packed into a SUV and sent away to get a relaxing massage and manicure

lwj would usually put up a fight but his muscles have been aching for days and nhs has theatened to text his brother at least three times this week. he doesn’t want to risk a fourth

wen ning, the meek but kind masseuse greets him with a bow, “lan er-gongzi, are you well?”

lwj nods, and is about to ask about wn as well when he hears the door of the masseuse parlour bang open behind him

“you!” comes a shout and lwj turns around, alarmed

the man who accused him of stealing his own pictures is standing there, pointing a finger at him

“if i was unclear the last time, i did not steal those photographs.” lwj says

the man seems stunned for two seconds, then frowns. “steal.. i know that you didn’t steal them.”

lwj nods, then starts to walk further into the parlour- except for the hand that grips and brings him to a stop. lwj would usually rip his hand away, but the slight pressure sends pain shooting up his arm

and lwj definitely didn’t realise how stiff his muscles were until then. he must have made a noise, a mixture between surprise and a wince, because the man lets go immediately

“are you okay?” he asks, looking alarmed

lwj closes his eyes to compose himself

“wei-gongzi, what are you doing here?” lwj hears wen ning ask

“i came to find him.” the man replies

lwj’s eyes open in shock. find him? does he know of lwj’s identity? is he a fan of the novel? this has gotten way bigger than either lwj or nhs predicted if people are actively seeking him out

“i think you have misunderstood.” lwj says, projecting a calm exterior even though he’s feeling a little cornered. cornered.. by a single person... what has his life come to?

but today it’s one person, next... he doesn’t even want to think about it. he has never wanted to be in the public light and does not want the /crowd/ and god forbid- the /noise/ that comes with it

he had gotten comfortable in the happy equilibrium of popularity and anonymity- the only thing which had lured him into accepting this job and has kept him in it thus far

... and it seems to be crumbling right before his eyes

“what? no i haven’t. i wouldn’t forget your face.” the man says, “hey stop running away-“

but lwj is already walking past him to exit the massage parlour. he needs to call someone. nhs most probably. or a cab.

the other man is speedy though, and blocks him right at the door, extending his arms and legs to cover the width of the opening as if lwj was thinking of sneaking around him. (he was, but that’s not the point)

“okay maybe i’ve come across as creepier than expected.” the man says, “but i swear i just want your hands!”

[wen ning shakes his head furiously in the background]

the panic lwj feels must be enough to be showing on his usually blank face, because the man backtracks

“i mean- no- that came off as even creepier oh my god. i’m not a serial killer, i promise.”

[wen ning makes a big X over his head with his arms]

the man takes a deep breath and actually seems to think before speaking this time, “hi, my name is wei ying. i’m a jeweller by profession. what’s your name?”

“move aside.” lwj says.

“do you promise not to run and actually hear me out? because it was so hard to track you down, god, it took me a week!”

[wn texting nhs: pls come and save lwj i think he’s about to faint]

“a week...” lwj says, “you tracked me down for a week?”

“no! i mean yes but not in a stalker way!” wwx seems to be having a mini meltdown, “you know just nice good ol’ asking around about the cute guy i saw at the uni... not... stalking...”

luckily lwj’s phone begins to ring, cutting wwx off. [wen ning is very thankful for this. he doesn’t think having the police here would be good for business]

“brother.” lwj says, still a little strung up

“wangji, i’m almost there.”

“what?”

“huaisang told me you were ill,” lxc says, “and i was in the area so i told him i’d take you to the doctor.”

lwj turns to give wen ning a scathing look. “he exaggerated. i’m fine. you don’t have to come here.”

lwj doesn’t think his brother will take the fact that he has acquired a stalker well

“i’m outside.” lxc says

lwj resists the urge to sigh. he’s going to strangle everyone in this room, then himself

“i’ll be there in a minute then.” lwj says.

“i’m making my way to the parlour.” lxc says, disregarding him completely

“brother i can walk.” lwj says calmly. murder is on his mind.

lxc hangs up on him. lwj actually sighs this time.

“if you don’t want my brother to report you, you need to move aside.” lwj says to wwx.

wwx opens his mouth as if he wants to continue to dig himself into a hole, but then moves aside degectedly

then he removes a business card from his wallet and puts it in lwj’s shirt pocket.

“you can look me up, i’m not lying. i really am a jeweller and i’d like to work with you.” he says

before lwj can protest, lxc is already at the entrance, carrying what looks like half the pharmacy in a paperbag

“wangji.” he greets, and then pauses to nod politely at the other men, “let’s go.”

lwj follows him silently

—•—

wen ning sighs and flips the sign on the door to ‘closed’ resigning to the fact that wwx will remain a permanent fixture on his floor for a while

“so you thought he was a creepy thief and now he thinks you’re a creepy stalker?” wn asks.

wwx, who has told him all of this between groans, groans again.

“do you... want a free massage?” wn offers

“yes.”

lwj fights the urge to touch his shirt pocket while in the car with lxc.

“you need to go to the hospital wangji, you don’t look well.” lxc insists

“i will eat every medicine in that bag if you drop me off at huaisang’s office.” lwj replies

lxc looks alarmed, “you’ll definitely need to go to the hospital then.”

“i will eat every medicine in that bag if you /don’t/ drop me off at huaisang’s office.” lwj amends, neatly closing all the loopholes

“at least let me come with you.” lxc says in his last ditch attempt to find out exactly what has left his brother so rattled

“i will eat-“

“fine okay. i just worry about you, you know? you never tell me when something is bothering you anymore.” lxc says

“if it is important, i will tell you.” lwj says. he doesn’t want lxc to worry but also doesn’t want to lie.

lxc nods, accepting this, then turns the car around

—•—

“wei wuxian.” nhs raises an eyebrow at the card lwj has placed on his table. “this is the man who has been stalking you?”

lwj nods.

“are you certain?” nhs asks, looking conflicted.

lwj gives him a look.

“okay, okay! just making sure!” nhs says, raising his palms in defence.

“you know of him.” lwj states.

“well,” nhs says, “he didn’t lie to you, he really is a jeweller. he is very elusive though. he tends to drop these groundbreaking collections every fall and then disappears.”

lwj tries to align the man he met today with this talented, cryptic jeweller persona. if they really are the same person, then perhaps unhinged genius fits him better.

“if he’s serious about working with you...” nhs gets a gleam in his eyes that lwj doesn’t like. this is /not/ how he pictured this conversation going. he’s slowly but surely developing a migrane

“look, i’m never going to force you to do anything.” nhs says, “but will you let me speak to him first? i want to know if this he’s the real deal of if we need a restraining order.”

restraining order. this is escalating way past lwj’s mental capacity at the moment.

nhs seems to see that, “you need to go home and rest. i’ll have a masseuse meet you there. let me handle this.”

he says it with such firm conviction that lwj has no choice but to trust him, so he nods.

[Part 2] [Part 3]

[gotatext]

by this point im p sure u all know the drill.... i’m nora, 23, she/her, gmt and tonight matthew im going to be greta o’driscoll, a terrible person but a hot one which frankly makes it almost ok. here is her pinterest..... this intro is literally just copied n pasted frm the last time i played her so soz if u’ve read it like 10+ times.... 

「 diana silvers. cis-female. 」have you seen greta o’driscoll around yet? i hear she decided to be in POTENTAS for their SOPHOMORE year as a CRIMINAL PSYCHOLOGY major. the 20 year old SHEPHERD is known to be tenacious, magnetic, capricious and evasive. ➨ the muse is written by nora, she/her, gmt.

was adopted as an infant. had two foster moms and two older sisters so always surrounded by women. lived in a boarding house, very much like the one in 20th century women, with lodgers coming in and out all the time, mostly artsy young women because her gay moms were both high school teachers trying to set up their own arts collective. one of her moms left when she was 4, n she doesn’t really remember her.

while living with entirely women made her super into catlin moran and the guilty feminist, as a teenager she often let boys walk all over her bc she just craved male attention jst bcos she’d never really experienced it. saw it as something aspirational, like sitting in the back of chad’s second-hand truck while he drove you to macdonalds and offered you and his five friends with identical haircuts weed was the height of being cool to greta, she wanted to be their dream girl, even if it meant compromising her beliefs

was always a really sporty bitch. it started with a junior athletics squad, which turned into athletics and cheer, which then became athletics, cheer and hockey until she basically was doing a different activity every night. she came to see her body as a tool that she could make work for her if she trained it up and this attitude’s always kind of stayed with her that as long as her body is strong she is capable of anything. runs every day. 

bubbly bitch but also massive snake. metaphorically and literally, always shedding her skin. loyal to few, ruled by none, out for herself, babey!! every place she goes, she becomes a new character, someone who’s a figment of her imagination, as if each city is repertory theatre and she’s a character actress, so as a result som ppl think she’s called rita, some ppl know her as margot, she just flicks through identities like nobodies business.

left school at 18 n went backpacking around the states making money in the casinos by being a shot girl (yeehaw) and trying to make it as a mysterious 1920s widow with a smoky voice, a dark secret n a heart of gold, looking for love in the big city. all she found was producers and acting agents who’d promise her stardom n actually just fuck her in a motel n then ignore her calls.

TW domestic violence, TW gun, her watershed moment came when she met luke in sioux falls while she was working at a strip club. he was a few years older and had a car, and they kind of went from seeing each other to being that super intense couple who are just necking all the time.

they got engaged like 3 months after they met n rented a flat together, much to her family’s annoyance but she was 19 so there wasn’t much they could do. their relationship was super super intense though, often really heightened and when they fought it could become quite violent, but she’d pass it off as just him being really passionate.

one of their fights got really heated and greta threatened him with the gun he kept in the glove box of his vauxhall corsa, but the safety was off and she accidentally shot him. she pleaded self defence in the trial n cos of the amount of times she’d been hospitalised for various concussions n things like ‘fallling down the stairs’ the police were like yea… pretty watertight evidence that he was a bastard who [chicago voice] had it coming….. 

she’s now under witness protection, rehoused in livingstone as a sports-scholarship student, due to the amount of police involvement in the area, it would mean should one of luke’s family members try to track her down, she’d be relatively safe

massive sports fanatic. plays tennis. on the cheer team. was a track superstar in her high school. honestly just that sporty bitch, you’ll see her doing lines at a party at half four and then on your way to your 9am lecture you see her running across the park like a fresh fucking daisy who is this bitch. maybe it’s maybelline, maybe its coke.

massive feminist. low key quite scared of powerful men bcos of her ex. wants to start a female only lesbian commune bc she misses her childhood in a south dakota boarding house and has endless support for women. honestly annoyed that she is attracted to men, would so be 100% gay if it was a choice. cuffs her jeans and can’t drive. is That bisexual. skateboards. wears backwards caps.  i hate her 

isn’t a foward-planner, however. greta prefers to leave her options open, play the field, live in a spontaneous manners so her study style is mostly cramming a few days before a test, or staying up all night writing an essay on a massive adrenline boost powered by red bull or probably adderall, scribbling (or typing) furiously into the night.

has an addictive personality. seems unable to do anything in a small dose, she has to let it utterly consume her. with sports, she’s fiercely competitive. with alcohol, it’s never a shot, it’s a whole bottle – wine or whiskey – she’ll be table dancing before the night’s up and making out with someone she’ll regret in the morning. 

not afraid to go after what she wants !! ambitious academically and romantically thirsty !! she loves the adrenaline of the chase. when someone’s easy to get, she becomes bored. very bisexual and very proud of it. feminist as fuck nd part of a queer representation in the arts group which holds fortnightly meetings to discuss lgbt representation in film, literature, art etc.

old soul in a young person’s body. all the shit that has gone on has kind of aged her. she’s quite cynical about everything now. always smoking smoking smoking. very edie sedgwick in that way.  little girls skirts bought for next-to-nothing at the market because she’s skinny enough to get away with it, barely long enough to cover your bum, and then the ugliest baggy sweater you’ve ever seen thrown over it.

likes old things. old books, old music, old houses, it reminds her of happier times like when she wasn’t alive. buys all her music on vinyl and has a gramphone because “The Sound quality is Better” kfdsjj.

super into pop art and andy warhol. puts female friendships above everything but at the same time, would fuck her best friends man

her clothing style is like…. vintage thrift store but make it preppy. berets and cute hats, neck scarves, large fluffy cardigans or like those leathery jackets with big suede fringes on them, mini skirts (very 70s), and knee high socks or boots. quite often she’ll be in sports kit, maybe a cute tennis skirt, n when she’s feeling casual she’ll wear like, a talking heads tshirt with a pair of mom jeans and converse, but otherwise, the library is her catwalk.

aesthetics:

a bubble of pink gum on chapped lips, mom jeans, a beaten up pair of adidas, denim jackets, strawberry laces, knee-highs, chapped lips, peeling sticky plasters, split knuckles, bruises you try to cover with concealer, stick and poke tattoos, hot coffee, sleep caught in your eyes on a lazy afternoon, kissing girls, cigarette smoke shrouding you like a veil, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, the red string of a thong peaking out purposely from jeans, leonine arch of your back and that stellar smile that says ‘you have no idea who you’re dealing with’, a rucksack permanently packed for the move, a streak of red across your lips, roller blades, cut knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your mom wouldn’t take you, kate moss posters lining the walls of a teenage bedroom, his name scrawled in rage across the pages of a diary, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

wanted plots

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! former best friends separated by sports rivalries ! sporting friends who are on other teams but who she absolutely loves playin against!!! 

since greta literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships

 girls from the cheer team who she’s like, weirdly intimate with like the shower together but its not a Thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

and I want like, fellow criminology students who are like?? how is this bitch still passing?? i swear she goes out every night?? 

she works part time at a fast food restaurant, i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry. 

ppl she did a few modules with ie. art history, bio-med, film studies, before changing course and somehow sort of remaining in touch with

 ppl who she runs track with. 

someone she’s trying to make a zine with. 

here’s a list of plots on her old blog if u want any of them w her.

would love plots of any type, throw them all at me please, i cnt wait to interact w all of u. like this if u want me to message you about connections / plots! xo

full biography if u can be bothered

trigger warnings: drugs, domestic abuse, gun.

you never meant for it to happen. you��d heard the stories, of girls who let their man walk all over them, and thought to yourself “i’ll never be one of those girls…” the kind that eat low-fat yoghurt and drink slim fast to shred a few extra pounds because he said she was getting round in the tummy, or the ones who spent their evenings tied to a kitchen sink drinking wine while him and the boys played poker, wishing god, if only I could get out of here. not you, not you raised by strong women, four bright shining beacons. single mother with her hard-as-nails attitude and her stony glares, elder sisters (twins) one ginger, one blonde, one doctor, one lawyer, both determined to take a bullet to the brain and a hammer to the patriarchy before they let a man touch them without asking. you were always so inferior, so insecure and small, like a bird (like a sparrow) with blonde plaits down your back sucking tropicana whilst your busom buds sucked dick, their lips permanently ripe with stories of their sexual exploits, fake tan and glittered nails whilst you sat in the unbroken egg of virginity wondering what it was like to be loved. one day you found out.

lily milligan’s parents gone and a free house for the night, bottles of ouzo and tequila swiped from your mother’s liquor cabinet thinking she wouldn’t know (she always knew) your legs, hardened from pep squad, slut dropping on a kitchen table because the boys thought it would be fun to get the quiet girl drunk. you’d never had a sip before that night. band t-shirts, denim shorts and the split soles of rotten converse that you refuse to let go of, you still clutched with both hands to your youth, but in a tube top now (borrowed from alice carmichael who had a sister in college) and a short tennis skirt, your feet not in trainers but in thigh-high boots. uncomfy as hell but lily said you needed to look sexy. you didn’t know if you wanted to be sexy. you didn’t know what kind of girl you were, if you were even a girl at all. but robbie looked at you like he knew exactly who you were, like he knew you better than you knew yourself, and his lips had the pink cupid’s bow of a movie star, and his hair was dark locks, curling like a mane. his hands were soft, and suddenly on your waist, and after three more shots his lips were on yours and his name was the only sound in your head and on your lips as you lost it in lily’s college sister’s bedroom beneath the glare of a T-Pain poster. you bled for what seemed like hours, his hand still in yours, kissing on the sofa as truth tellers and dare devils continued to spin a bottle of unprecedented youth. you thought it was love. robbie was the one. he loved you, you knew it, how else could someone be so soft? but soon he grew bored, scrunched up your paper heart and set it alight. then came the tears, the hatred, the ‘fuck robbie, in fact, fuck all boys.’ and that you did.

you were known for being easy. any boy could be yours for a night, as long as he promised to love you for those few short breaths and pants before you cried yourself to sleep. you felt poisoned, but poisonous as well, as if by ensnaring these young boys you were gaining power over them, and not the other way around. soon it started to work. they’d want more, but you’d deny them it, sick of sucking off silly schoolboys, they’d call you a tease, a vixen. maybe you were, but you couldn’t help but want older men. you got the history teacher first time, him bending you over his desk to sneak a hand up your tennis skirt as the after-school clubs carried on next door, unawares. love didn’t exist, not for you. it was nothing but a game for pretty young girls to play, bubble gum in their canines and a hand tugging at the hem of their cheer skirt.

there was so much anger inside of your small body, ‘beware of boys and their hook-like words’. hockey helped. there was something formidable about the feeling of a stick like a weapon in your hands and the thwack it made against thighs in the heat of a scrum - “slipped, sorry!” - you’d utter with a snakeskin smile, millicent quinn knowing that you’d hit her on purpose because she shagged robbie at that party last week. she couldn’t prove it, cobbled acne on her forehead turning green with disgust. ben came into your life like a car crash. two years your senior, with a baseball jacket and shoulders like a god. he became your personal hero. on the pitch, he was lethal. together, you could bring anyone to their ruin. each day after last period he’d be waiting in his car. you’d leap into his arms like a girl-half starved, love me, love me, love me, your heated kisses the envy of every junior girl. he was yours for three blissful years, utterly yours, and you were his, his star-spangled girl, and he was your knight - you were both the same, playing games, always difficult to predict. it was a shock to all when he proposed, high-school sweethearts find love in south dakota.

the engagement was a bittersweet affair; three months – you barely out of your gingham print skirts and into a graduation gown, him, a surly quarterback towering above your sisters, cigarette at his lips and a scowl like a fart in a lift. they hated him. so did you. but you were eighteen and in love, and he fitted the cookie cutter mould. everyone wanted him, and you had him. you had him and you were happy, happy, happy, and he loved you. he said he’d give you the world, anything you wanted hand-picked and given to you. instead, he gave you a jack russell terrier and a flat you couldn’t swing a cat in, wallpaper peeling like the rotten bits inside of you, the bits that only he knew. and you got tireder and tireder of the sad excuse of a life he’d picked out for you, him out doing god knows what to pay the bills, and you dancing on tables to pave your way to stardom, and this was love, this was real, until the shine wore off and your fresh-faced, dimple-cheeked cheerleader facade faded and the ugliness started to reveal itself, the whining, the petulance, the sharp-tempered cruelty, the mind games, the need to always win, win, win. he was dull, he was boring, he was nothing like the boy the girls had said he was and no chiselled six pack could hide his lack of anything remotely interesting, your patience wearing thin until it snapped like rubber, a rucksack on your back, running shoes on your feet and the joint bank account emptied into your eighth grade birthday wallet.

you built your small fortunes working the casinos of sioux falls, a crimson dress and an attitude to match. bookish archie with his little dipper freckles was fun for a month, before he became just as dull and dreary as the rest. a three hour bus and you were in minneapolis, bright eyed and bushy tailed, fresh meat ready for the pickings. a hostel here, a friendly co-worker’s sofa there as you made what you could by taking off your clothes and shaking your ass like you were back in pep squad, doing what you did best. you met your fair share of creeps, and soon it was back on the road to escape a wide-eyed stalker and a restless itch for more. milwaukee, chicago, you made the roads your own. log cabins and lodgings, and the occasional motel, a beaten up pick up truck purchased at a scrap merchants – you got a few miles out of it before it bit the dust, and when you finally set it alight after nights spent lounging across the driver’s seat, a parka tucked over you as a duvet, you were sad to see it go. you’re nomadic by fault, never attaching to place, people or things, creating a new personality in every place you go like a character actress; each town is a different repertory theatre, and you’re the star. a compulsive liar, you even fib about your own name, to some you’re ellen, nineteen, bookish, a law student who likes smoking and cosmos. to someone else you’re rita, you’re twenty five and look young for your age, like smoking, comics and fucking in public places.

in the bright lights of michigan, you found charlie, sweet charlie, too good for you, though you let him spoil you while he thought you were the small town girl of his dreams. next came abigail, who was fun until the jealously kicked in, and then luke, gorgeous luke, dangerous, exciting, who despite his temper, despite the fights, despite bruises down your spine and your teeth marks on his arms, loved you with the strength of a wild fire. there was destruction in your wishbones, a savageness from the field, from the pitch and now somehow in his arms, you were godly. he was cruel, he was careless, and he refused to fall at your feet like so many other boys had, which only you made you want him all the more. you were rage incarnate. you hated him so fiercely you thought you might kill him, so he played the only card you wouldn’t predict; proposed.

the house you shared was a backstreet flat in detroit, you making your name as a downtown singer while he footed the bill with pills. they had a drug for anything these days, to dull the senses, to pick them up, to drive you to insanity or pull you out of the madness hole. the two of you lived like criminals on the run (you never told him that you were, living out your days as the enigma he wanted you to be), you with your voice like caramel and fishnet legs. you were his and his alone until his hand was at your throat and the gun was in your hands screaming at him to stop, stop, stop, until a bullet stoppered his brain, crimson staining linoleum as you cast yourself out like lucifer. self defence was decreed the moment they saw your violet neck, black tears and headlight eyes and mind screaming red, red, red like the pom-poms you shook so willingly in school and the insides of his skull. you were gone, and “you” was born, renamed “greta”, boxed, shipped-out, and next-day delivered to livingstone where under witness protection you were a student, blank slate, fresh-faced in a place where no one knew your name, doing what you always did and starting again.

[kimjoongs-main]

ohshc au - jaemin

continuation of this au

↳ requested by: this anon gave me the idea so thank you my sweet~

↳ type: bullet scenario

↳ warning(s): n/a

↳ a/n: happy 18th birthday dream boy, i hope the members shower(ed) you with love and support today! i love you very very much jaemin ❤️

ahh yes, na jaemin aka the host club’s leader aka the host club’s king aka the host clu—okay you get the idea here

jaemin’s a third year along w jeno, hyuck, and renjun but the club has been around since the beginning of his second year

at first, everyone else was kinda hestitant to go along w jaemin’s idea of starting a host club, but once they heard his reasoning they agreed

the club had humble beginnings, only a handful of guests would trickle into the music room after school, curious to see what the club was about

but the next time they came in, those guests brought their friends and their friends brought their friends and pretty soon the host club had an impressive turnout

the guests were just entranced by the dreamies and their ability to charm them, but jaemin was on a whole other level

the majority of the guests who would come were usually his regulars and trust me, jaemin had a LOT of regulars

but he didn’t seem to mind, the more the merrier right?

this boy is so cheesy it’s disgusting but his guests love it sooooo

however the other members hear it from him so often that they’ll occasionally throw a pillow at him or stuff his mouth with cake to make him shut up cough renjun cough

he’s in charge of the club’s daily concepts and it’s both a good thing and a bad thing, good bc he always comes up with themes that entertain the guets, and bad bc the costumes are fucking ridiculous slfkskwk :’))

but the others smile thru it bc the guests’ happiness is their number one priority

jaemin tries to make sure every guest leaves happy, no matter if they’re his guest or not, and so far he’s succeeded......until now

a new girl had come into the music room one day, she had just transferred from a different school and heard from her classmates about the host club and decided to check it out for herself

and the second she entered the room she was met with jaemin holding a red rose in front of her as he smiled brightly and flashed her a wink

“well hello my darling, i haven’t seen you around here before. what’s your name?”

the new girl kinda just scrunched her nose and rolled her eyes, much to jaemin’s surprise, and she walked past him, moving deeper into the room

jaemin looked after her worriedly but let it go as soon as he heard his guests calling for him

the entire time, the new girl just stood in the far corner and observed everythimg thru narrowed eyes

it eventually came to a point where everyone was aware of her presence and they all became uncomfortable

jeno walked up to jaemin and whispered in his ear “hey jae, what do we do about her? she’s making the guests feel awkward” and jaemin gets up and says he’ll handle it

when he walks over to her, he plasters a gentle smile on his face again “is something wrong, lovely? why are you here by yourself? would you like to—“

“you people disgust me” she hisses

jaemin freezes and so does mark and hyuck, as they were the closest ones

“i’m...i’m sorry?”

the girl huffs and uncrosses her arms, pointing an accusing finger at jaemin “you guys are basically manipulating these girls, telling them how beautiful and lovely they are, but you don’t really mean it do you? admit it, you guys are just doing this for yourselves right? to see how many girls you can score?”

at this point the entire room has their eyes fixed on jaemin and the new girl, and renjun has heard enough so he gets up and stomps over to them

“you’ve got it all wrong, that isn’t what we’re about! we’re not doing this to get girls, you can’t just walk in here and assume—“

renjun was interrupted by jaemin holding his hand up and giving him a look, then he turned back to the girl with a serious look on his face “i apologize miss, but i’m afraid you have the wrong idea. the club’s foundation isn’t built on what you’re accusing us of. if you wish to know, then i’d be happy to speak privately with you but not now, i have guests to keep company.”

jaemin then turned around to walk back, but not before he looked over his shoulder one last time “you’re free to stay if you like, but if you’re just going to stand there and stare at everyone, then i’ll kindly ask you to leave, thank you”

the girl chose to leave and for the rest of the day, the members and guests were in low spirits

when the club closed for the day, jaemin went home by himself, which was different from his usual antic where he’d take the other members out for some food and just hang out, but today seemed to rlly bring him down

all everyone else could do was sadly watch him walk down the street to his house

the next day wasn’t any better, after the new girl’s outburst the other day, fewer guests came to the music room that day

when asked why their friends didn’t show up, they said that it was bc of what happened

and to make matters worse, rumors started spreading around the school about how jaemin was actually a player and he only started the club to make easy money and meet girls

of course none of that was true, but jaemin chose not to say anything, much to the surprise of everyone else

“jae, you know those rumors aren’t true so why aren’t you saying anything to defend yourself?”

jaemin just smiled at his friends “do you guys believe those rumors?” and they all shook their heads vigorously, making jaemin smile wider

“good, then that’s all that matters. people can say what they want about me, their opinions don’t matter. as long as the seven of us know the truth, then that’s all i need” he patted chenle and jisung’s shoulders before slinging his backpack over his shoulder

“besides, we still have some guests who continue to enjoy our company, wouldn’t want to keep them waiting right?”

when the seven of them walked into the music room, they were surprised to see you standing by the door

mark was the first to greet you “oh, hey y/n what are you doing here?”

you were the a member of the newspaper club and due to low fundings, your club leader had you go out and find out what you could about the host club and write a juicy story about them

he claimed that if you could create a story that exposed the club for who they really are, then the school would buy more newspapers which meant more funding for the club

you didn’t wanna do it, considering you were really close with mark, but you had no choice if you wanted the newspaper to survive.....so here you were

“oh um...i’m here to do a story on the host club....f-for the school newsp—“

“forget it y/n, we know what you’re up to” hyuck cut you off w a sneer and you winced, but before you could reply jaemin walked up to you with a small but dazzling smile on his face

“a news story about the host club? that’s fantastic! i’m in” and everyone’s just like what the hell jae you just said—

“i don’t care what people have to say about me, but i’m not going to let anyone slander our club’s reputation, so i’m willing to do this” he looked back at me “under one condition”

“and that is??”

“before you publish your story, i want to read it first. i won’t say anything about it, i just want to read it. do we have a deal?” he stuck his hand out and you stared at for a second before shaking it “.....deal”

jaemin grinned and clapped his hand on your shoulder “well, it’s a pleasure to have you here y/n”

for the next few weeks, you’ve been attending the usual club hours and observing how the hosts interact with the guests, occasionally asking them questions about the club and how it works

you’ve been attending their club meetings too, but to your surprise, all they do is discuss a theme for the next day and then jaemin takes you all out for some food and just hang out

one time, you were curious as to why jaemin and the others continued on w the club despite the rumors so you decided to ask

he ponders your question for a moment before he looks at you with a gentle look on his face

“because we’re all invested in this club y/n, the other hosts have become my second family and making our guests happy is what we all love to do. it’s not for the money or the chance to meet girls, but to make someone’s day just a little brighter”

you wrote down his response, but you were a little shocked to say the least, you didn’t expect that to come from him

a few more days pass and now you’re just about ready to edit and publish your paper, but it’s not quite what you expected

you were sent to write a juicy, gossip story about the host club, but instead all your notes said good things about it

the time you spent with the hosts, especially jaemin, opened your eyes and you realized that those rumors were untrue, the host club wasn’t some way for the members to meet girls, and jaemin wasn’t a player at all

he genuinely cared about everyone who walked into that room and made it his goal to have them walk out happier than when they walked in

you thought about it for a moment before you knew what you had to do

later that night, you pieced the story together, making sure to include every little detail and the next morning, you handed jaemin a copy

but to your surprise, he gave it back to you

“i thought you wanted to read it before it was published?”

but jaemin shook his head and shoved his hands into his pockets “nah it’s okay. i’ll trust your judgement”

you were left speechless as jaemin reached up to ruffle your hair, smiling at you once more before walking to class

later that same day, you published the article with a headline that said: “the truth about the host club”

and when you bumped into jaemin in the hallway, he waved a copy of the newspaper in your face and chuckled “i knew i could trust your judgement y/n, thank you”

thanks to you, not only did the host club gain most of its guests back, but the newspaper reached a new peak in fundings bc of the amount of copies that were sold that day, it was a win-win situation

as for jaemin, the rumors about him stopped circulating thru the school and everyone finally knew the his real motives

even the girl who had caused the whole thing came in one day and apologized sincerely for making assumptions

after the article about the host club was published, none of the hosts really got see you around the school anymore

but one day

it was another normal day for the hosts when they heard a gentle knock on the door

mark opened the door only for you to walk inside

the hosts all greeted you warmly

“hey y/n! long time no see, how’ve you been?” hyuck asked

“i’ve been doing great, and i can see you all feel the same”

they all smiled at you before jisung piped up “whatcha doing here y/n? are you doing another story on us?”

you smiled “actually no....i came here as a guest”

seven pairs of eyes widened in shock at your statement

“i hope you guys don’t mind”

“of course we don’t mind y/n!” chenle threw his arm around your shoulder “alrighty then, take your pick! which one of us is more your type?”

you looked around at all their faces before your eyes landed on jaemin

you smirked “well, i’ve actually been really interested in the princely types lately so..”

[local-raccoon]

#VD9suitcontest entry!!

Ahhhhhhh I made a few of them bc they just kept pooling in my head. It’s kind of embarassing bc they go from “hmm yeah” to “im trying and failing” and justttttttttttttttttttttt  wanted to made them and thats it lol.

Under the cut bc It’s just too much!!

Check out the super cool zine @bnhavillaindeku-zine is making!! The staff is hella cool and the rewards are hella amazing. They all deserve the world and more (!!!!!)  This thingy is for their suit contest in which we gotta design Izuku’s villain suit.

The links are here!! Pre orders end on September 9, you still have a few days left!!!  Go go goooo!!  PO’s page || Shop page

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The modern ninja.

Hoodie – A simple black hoodie. He wears a bullet-proof vest underneath it.

Pants – Loose fitting pants for mobility and just being comfortable.

Knee guards, arm guards and gloves – The three of them are police-standard. He got them from an actual police gear shop. They are pretty simple but useful.

Throwing knifes – He has a great bunch of them, was inspired by Stain to use them… and to mock him too.

Mask – It’s so totally not a mask, just a too long scarf that got mutilated once or twice. It has an awfully drawn smiley face that is supposed to be mocking All Might’s.

Boots – The only difference with the knee and arm guards is that he painted them red. He loved his red shoes, you see. They are pretty heavy, too.

 Au background (or whatever this is)

A world where Izuku got tired of being treated like garbage and decided to take the matter onto his hands. At first, he was just a vigilante, leaving alone the heroes and having a little bit of hope that they were different. He was wrong. Once it became clear to him that most heroes where almost as bad as villains, he began to target heroes too.

He’s a sneaky rat. His tolerance levels went down to 0. This Izuku is aggressive, sassy and petty af. He’s done with everyone’s bullshit and the only person he tolerates at this point is his mother.

He might or might not be affiliated with the league. Maybe he doesn’t trust them much, but they are useful, too. (He might or might not have a quirk too.)

His costume mocks All Might, Eraserhead, Stain and the Police, bc he’s a lil shit.

He is always ready to fight and set the world on fire.

--------------- I think villain Izuku would go for a more useful oufit than a flashy, interesting one. (but at the same time i disagree with myself) sO The point in this suit was to make it out from stuff you can get from actual shops. I don’t know if it happens everywhere or my hometown is weird, but in here there are shops where you can get actual military gear, excluding the guns, ofc, but you can go full militar gear and it’s... a bit expensive but not too much. So i was thinking Izuku (or anyone, really) could do just that and nobody would bat an eye???

and even if they did, there are some places that cell construction gear and they work almost the same as military gear. U can get some nice and sturdy knee guards and it would be totally normal.

In this AU idk if Izuku is with the league or not, if he has a quirk or not, but i’m inclined to think he actually does both. And is a villain mostly out of spite and revenge.

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(see how they go from hmmm to uhgggg)

The bartender. (aka the one i gave most though)

Hair – Gelled to the side and tamed to the best of his abilities.

Shirt – A normal white dress shirt. Has tons of them ironed and ready to use. Rolls the sleeves up so they don’t get stained or in the way.

Pants – A pair of black slacks. Has tons of them too, they are surprisingly comfy.

Shoes – Moccasins. All black and meticulously cleaned. They shine.

Appron – Part of the bar’s uniform. Nothing special.

Gloves – Black leather fire resistant gloves with red palms. Used to hide the scars in his hands. (I really liked V!D9 Izuku’s gloves, didn’t have the heart to change them)

Scars – Has a lot of them on his arms and back.

 Background/whatever.

Midoriya Inko is dead. It was the heroes fault but no one would believe the ‘traumatized child’ it happened. Izuku is sent to a quirkless orphanage and develops a passive-aggressive personality. He makes a plan and starts working to make it reality. He’s never actually adopted, even if he does have some interviews, he’s just not interested. So he stays with the old man that takes care with of the orphanage and sees how the world is even crueler than he initially thought. The old man sees the way he is being silently consumed by his rage and hatred, tries to help but somehow they end up having similar ideals and turn into something like partners in crime. The old man says he’s “too old to actually give a damn”.

 He opens a business with the old man’s help and the money left to him from his mother. It’s a simple café in the day and a bar in the night. It’s pretty small and totally average. The only thing that catches attention are two plates in the front door that say “Quirkless welcome” and “Uniforms not allowed”.  He doesn’t allow anyone in uniform inside his business. No heroes, no villains, no police officers. Of course, people try to give him shit because of this but he knows the laws and that, legally speaking, he’s not doing anything wrong. Nobody can touch him.

 Izuku is more like an informant type of villain. This doesn’t mean he can’t take care of himself, of course, your biggest mistake will ever be to underestimate him for his looks. He focuses on getting information and working it on how ever it favors him. He isn’t afraid of going against other villains nor heroes. Not even the League. It takes him some time but he manages to set up his own network, getting information on both heroes and villains. The first thing he does is to expose all the heroes that where involved with Inko’s death.

Nobody really knows he’s the one to get the information, though. They think he’s just The Bartender, the messenger. What could a useless, quirkless nobody do, anyways?

 He takes his status of quirkless and uses it to his advantage with the best of his capabilities. Anything to fulfill his goal.

 The worst kind of villain are those who actually use their brains, after all.

-------------------- Escentially, my entry on the “Villain Izuku with an actual suit” trope. Initially, i though of him being something like Kurogiri’s partner, they both would make plans and make sure no one mess up. But then i though “Izuku would be totally capable of doing this all on his own. He just needs the right motivation.” and what better motivation than hate and having nothing else to lose.

An i really like bartender’s outfits lol.

I also headcanon that this Izuku knows how to use an unexpected amount of fire arms. (guns, rifles, shotgus, etc) and would never hesitate to shoot a bih. But i didn’t have the time to draw him with them (guns are hard ot draw!!) so i’m just leaving it here :/, hoping it somehow counts.

This Izuku is actually quirkless, everything he does is thanks to his brain. He learned how to break apart both information and people. bC I THINK IZUKU COULD DO IMPRESSIVE THINGS WITH OR WITHOUT A QUIRK.

/breathes/

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The Street fighter.

Hoodie – A green plain hoodie. Used to hide his body and just how buff he is.

Face mask – Cheap and with little probabilities of it falling off or untying.

Loose pants – Easy to move in.

Knee pads – For support and protection. They are just normal Knee pads.

Sneakers – A pair of comfy and durable sport sneakers. The little short absorption they have is good enough.

Bandages – His hands are bandaged in the same way of a boxer’s. He is seen with constant injures on his face because he is a street fighter. His arms are scarred because of fights too.

Hairstyle – Has an undercut and dyed hair. Usually, he dies the top black and leaves the roots green, sometimes dyes it all black. Changes them constantly so people won’t be able to relate him with Inko.

 Bakcground:

Not much to say. I just wanted to draw him as a street fighter.

He ran away/got kidnapped at a not-so-young age (10-12???) Didn’t saw a reason to go back/didn’t want to be found so he learned how to fend for himself and fight. Works in an underground fight center as both a fighter and information broker. He’s fast on his feet, even without a quirk, and can pack a punch strong enough to knock someone out in seconds. Specializes in speed and precision. It’s better to know where to punch and how hard that just punching mindlessly.

 Always parkour’s his way out of bad situations. The most frustrating villain/vigilante the police has dealt with. Has personal issues against Eraserhead because he’s the only one that can almost match his pace.

------------------

I JUST WANTED TO DRAWN HIM AS A BRAWLER HASJDHAJSDHASD

He’s part of another villain group and quirkless. He fights with only kicks, punchs and sTREET SMARTS(!!!!). Parkoúr is a thing. He probably breakdances too, bc he can. A kind of-free man living the live as a thug.

Idk what else to add here. Maybe just that i got inspired with the sneakers lmao lOOK AT THEM IM PROUD. they came out way better than i was expecting. The pose too, how did that even happened.

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SO THATS ALL. Thank you for coming to my pep talk/whatever this is.

Pls buy a copy. it’s a very cool zine. Here are the links again:  PO’s page || Shop page 

Uhhhhhhhhhhh.  Yeah, bye.

[joons-expensive-gurl]

My Honest Opinion on 2018 BTS

Disclaimer: I am not making this post to hate on BTS, BH, or even ARMY. I, myself, am a huge ARMY, I love our boys so so so much and everything I’m about to say is just my own opinion. Please respect it. It’s okay if you disagree and if you want to share your own opinions, that’s fine. Please don’t send me hate, I only want to talk about what I believe is the truth. Also a post-writing comment, I get pretty angry so yeah... don’t read if you get triggered easily. I’m pretty blunt this evening with my feelings regarding BTS and BH.

~^*^~

So, I’m going to begin this pretty bluntly by saying that this past year has been pretty disappointing for me as an ARMY. Despite BTS being able to perform at the BBMAs, win another award there, do all of this amazing stuff internationally, LY: Her and LY: Tear have let me down in terms of BTS albums. At the time of their releases, I hyped up the songs and the albums, but truth be told, my LY: Her album isn’t even on my phone - I haven’t even put the CD into my computer and I didn’t even bother buying LY: Tear though I do plan on getting it simply for Anpanman, Airplane P.2 and Paradise. These two albums have been, in my own opinion, some of BTS’ worse works (including Expensive Girl and Trouble).

This is not BTS’ fault. I do not blame them at all. This is all down to BigHit slowly becoming more power and money hungry as time goes on. I mean, BH has even let Homme flop (I haven’t heard anything about them in a long time so I’m guessing they disbanded bc BH only care about BTS). You see, Wings was the last great album BTS ever produced. It featured a song composed entirely by every member, sung only by every member and gave them all their own little spotlights. We also got TWO songs dedicated to ARMY, the iconic Cypher 4 and Am I Wrong. All of these songs were all phenomenal and this comeback took my breath away. Never mind Boy Meets Evil (I love it so much) and Ofc BS&T, their last amazing title track.

You see, after Wings, this is where BTS’s fame really began to pick up overseas. Sure, they were huge in Korea, but EXO are still considered the nation’s boys (even after Ko Ko Bop and Lotto...) but all of a sudden, all of the world knew BTS. This lead to Bang PD doing something pretty fucking stupid. He drove BTS into mainstream western music. This is where we got the upbeat (yet pretty generic) Not Today don’t get me wrong I love Not Today, it still had some of BTS’ vibes but it was the first deviant of many and one of the best, most emotional, heart wrenching BTS songs Spring Day. When the LY albums were announced, BTS’ fame was skyrocketing. BH wanted to appeal to these new international fans and gave us LY: Her, an album which seems great at first, but once you realise that all of the songs are just... well, I’ll break them all down.

First we have Serendipity, the intro that confused the fuck out of me. Since BTS began, Intros have always A L W A Y S been done by the rap line, and Outros done by the vocal line. I love Serendipity, but I hate the fact that BH strayed from giving us the rap line intros. I always look forwards to them on the albumbs but I guess we won’t be seeing them again so... then we have the title track DNA which in my opinion wasn’t anywhere near BTS style at all. It was catchy, yes, but it was a fucking stupid boppy love song that new ARMYs hyped. It was overplayed and I eventually came to accept that I didn’t like it. The next song we have it Best Of Me - a collab with The Chainsmokers. I like the Chainsmokers since I’ve always been a fan of EDM and I do enjoy their sound, but Bh deciding to collab with them is just... no. Again, this took away BTS’ individuality as an artist and it was just another western bop. I never really liked it so... Then we have what I like to call the Secret Love Song to Kim Namjoon 보조개. If I’m being completely honest, this song was my favourite. But after a few plays, it became repetitive and... yeah... I kinda don’t enjoy listening to it anymore. Again, it’s another western-styled EDM like DNA and Best of Me. Pied Piper is actually a pretty decent song. I enjoy the fact that it’s a bit of a shade-throwing song to ARMY but at the same time BTS telling us they care enough to tell us to get on with life. I can’t complain about it. It’s a little unusual with the flute, but I do like it a lot. We are going to skip the Skit because it features Jake Paul and I hope he rots in hell ((: our next song is MIC Drop which for some reason people think is the final cypher?? Like , are you stupid? It’s not called Cypher, so it’s. Not. A. Cypher. I like both versions, the original and the Steve Aoki/Eng version and it’s the last song that keeps to a BTS vibe. Again, no complains. Then we have Go Go, which I love but hate. It’s a great song, but... so many people complain about it that I kinda just don’t want the hastle of going to YouTube to listen to it. They have bragging rights, let them brag. That’s how I see Go Go. Moving on, Outro: Her... I didn’t like it. Like I said with the intro, it just doesn’t feel natural for a BTS album to have rap line doing the outro. That’s probably just me. I always skip Her because it’s just... there’s something I don’t like about it but I couldn’t tell you what it is. It’s alright as a song but it’s nothing special. We also have the other skit but I skip it because of my lack of knowledge of Korean so yeah. And then there’s Sea. Can we just for one second acknowledge how good of a song Sea is? And BigHit has the fucking audacity to make it a hidden song?! Like, it’s full of metaphors, it’s beautiful and just almost a great song. The only issue I have is how long it is but I can get over that.

So, the songs were kind of repetitive, and Pied Piper was the only song I thoroughly enjoyed that didn’t have any outside influence. A lot of the songs in Her were just trashy westernized bops that I don’t think suit BTS, any of their personalities or the whole HYYH/Wings theory that BH have been making. Like...? You gave us BS&T and then decided MIC Drop was a good addition to the MVs? It made no sense.

Anywho, I did enjoy Her but it’s definitely not up there as one of my fave BTS albums. Honestly, despite being a little disappointed, I looked towards to Tear. Well... until it came out. I know I hyped it up. I know I said I enjoyed the songs but now I don’t listen to the album at all, I skip all of the songs when they come on shuffle because in my opinion, this is a bad BTS album. Bad. Let me talk you through the songs.

First we have Singularity. Again, I hate the idea of vocal line intros but I’m gonna have to put up with it so whatever. Tae’s voice was drowned out by the music a little, and I really REALLY enjoyed the MV. It was slow, sensual and I enjoyed it... until y’all nasty ARMYs got your hands on it and decided to make it House of Cards 2.0. Just a quick FYI, Singularity is a sad song and you should respect Taehyung’s artistic input. House of Cards was made to be sexual-er and that’s why it’s okay to sexualise it. Do not sexualise Singularity. I kinda stay away from it now because of ARMY. Anyway, we get to the bane of these past few months, Fake Love. In a honesty, I don’t love it. The MV felt like a recycled BS&T in some places and it felt too poppy and not so much BTS for me. I loved Hoseok’s parts in it but that was about it... Next up is The Truth Untold and truth BE told, this song surprised me. I expected some angsty EDM track because of the collab with Steve again but instead I was pleasantly surprised with a beautiful ballad. But, this is literally due to my own musical preferences, I’m not really into ballads so I don’t listen to it very often. Next we have 134340 (Pluto) and while I do enjoy listening to it, it was a recycled Whalien52 if it had a child with Pied Piper. I said it. The lyrics are beautiful and I think Hoseok’s part was phenomenal but other than that, it’s just a recycled, old BTS song because clearly BH is running out of ideas and restricting BTS in terms of their input in their albums. Then there’s Paradise, one of my favourite tracks. A little EDM-y, very sensual, a great base, and the message is cute. But, it’s a westernised song. I think it would have suited a group such as VIXX or maybe even EXO a little better, it didn’t give me BTS vibes at all. It’s a great song but it’s nothing I would have expected from BTS. And BH are at it again with Love Maze. The first 5 seconds I like (the piano with the distorted “I’ll be in love maze”) and then after that, it becomes a trashy, EDM, westernized song. Again. Can someone tell Bang PD to stop it? I didn’t like it from the off and I probably won’t ever. Next we have Magic Shop which is just another EDM-y westernized song so you can imagine my feelings towards it. Now we have Airplane Pt.2, a pretty bomb-ass song if I do say so myself. I loved the erotic, Mediterranean vibes, the Tango-y kinda feel, the bragging lyrics, everything... except Hoseok’s fucking verse. I know it’s pt.2 but WHY IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK DID THEY RECYLE A VERSE FROM AIRPLANE. I hate that they did that. I hate it so god damned much that it pains me because it’s such a good song but Hoseok’s verse lets the whole song down. Jin had lines, there was Namjin involved, it was so close to being a great song. And next we have Anpanman. I’m not even gonna bother saying much because I love this song. It was the diamond of the album. It saved the album. End of discussion. And then we get to the song I hate most of all - So What. You guessed it, a trashy, EDM, carbon copy of a westernized pop song. I hate it so much. It has no BTS vibes, clearly the boys didn’t have much of a choice about it and I really don’t like the song. I’ve listened to it once and that was when I first listened to the album as a whole. Then we get to the outro I promise I won’t complain about the whole rap line vocal line thing again I guess the outro is okay. I mean, I love the dark vibes but it’s not the best rap line song out there. The chorus is repetitive “You’re my tear, you’re my You’re my Tear,” And it gets boring after the first verse. Plus Yoongi’s verse was annoying af because of all the autotune that they put on to ruin his natural, beautiful voice so yeah.

You can tell I didn’t like Tear. At all. It was just a whole pile of EDM, westernized shit with one good song put in and Singularity at the beginning to mask the pile of shit that it is. I can’t express how let down I was with the past two albums.

BigHit have done this. They have turned BTS into a giant money making machine. They are turning the boys away from their golden eras (I Need U, Run, War of Hormone) and moulding them into the “perfect” westernized Kpop group. All BH care about is money. That’s why all of the songs have been almost a 180 to BTS’ vibes and the album has been a let down. I understand people’s styles change. Look at EXO, they started with Wolf (a bop btw) and just came out with Sweet Lies, one of the best non-title tracks in Kpop (IMO). But this style that BTS have suddenly adapted has had nothing to do with the boys themselves. This has been done by the executives at BH to cater to the new audience of 12 year old, ignorant, uneducated girls who have no idea what BTS really stand for in the long run. The same boys who used to write 90% of their lyrics definitely do not anymore and it breaks my heart. Instead of beautiful lyrics like in Tomorrow, it’s trashy love songs like DNA and Fake Love. The money focuses on elaborate MVs and don’t you fucking dare get me started on the pricing of new merch. All 4 albums together cost over £100, the summer package in Spain is almost £70. Just one album on its own at pre-order is now almost £35/40. Don’t you dare tell me that BH isn’t getting greedy. I got my D&W album for less than £10. I got my MBMILp1 for £20, Wings for £20 and LY: Her for £25. See the correlation? Fame goes up and so do the fucking album prices. I couldn’t ever afford to spend £30 on an album plus shipping. I couldn’t even ask my parents to do that for a birthday or even Christmas present. It is a waste of money. All albums I have from other artists and companies have never been over £25 either. BH and Bang PD are becoming greedy. They want more money, for more elaborate MVs for more fans, for even more money. I know someone has to fund Tae’s Gucci style but let me tell you, even if albums were priced the same as D&W, BH would make more than enough profit.

BTS clearly have no input anymore in their albums, they are forced to work under a management slowly becoming more and more corrupt. BH is no saint and you can see that through the most recent albums. It’s the same, repeated, overly cliche bullshit EDM tracks. Some songs have been good but I have been so let down that I almost always forget about them.

If LY: Answer is such a disappointment to me, I really will have to reconsider my status as an ARMY. I won’t watch BTS become some carbon copy of a perfect boyband in America for BH’s sake. Never. They came from nothing, they worked their way to the top and now they have just brought out two very disappointing albums. Nothing will ever compare to HYYH or Wings. BH has become too greedy. It isn’t about BTS anymore - it’s about the money they make.

[ronanlyncx]

the best parts of the dream thieves (featuring me crying pt. 2)

part one

- “Ronan was everything that was left: molten eyes and a smile made for war” 

- Ronan’s second secret #gay

- Gansey: “i would have thought you had more muscles. Don’t feminist have big muscles?” i just want to punch him can someone please punch him

- gansey calling ronan an incredible creature #gay 

- “The elderly made ronan anxious” bitch me too!!!

- Ronan wanting to race kavinsky in the pig and adam is like dude no there is like 5 people in here we weigh too much and ronan goes: “noah doesn’t count” “Hey!” “You’re dead!” i love these nerds

- Gansey: “am I in your dreams?” Ronan: “Oh yes, baby” i hate him jsjksksk

- “Ronan sometimes dreamt of Adam, too” #gay

- Gansey and Ronan going to get orange juice at 3:32 am 

- “Unlike some people, my sense of worth isn’t tied into my occupation.” “Ooooooh,” Orla crowed… she traded her Henrietta accent for a gloriously snotty version of the Old South. “Someone’s been hanging out with Richard Campbell Gansey the third too much.” orla just came for blue’s life holy shit 

- “Jane!” “It’s a wizard in box.” “It will do your homework.” “And it’s been dating your girlfriend.” “Are you all drunk?” hey quick question wtf am i reading

- “Why is the tea so good here?” “I spit in it” Blue Sargent is an icon

“Blue Sargent was pretty in a way that was physically painful to him. He was attracted to her like a heart attack.” not to sound like a cheesy white lady or anything but this shit breathtaking bro

- “What do you want, Adam? What do you need, Adam?… Freedom, autonomy, a perennial bank balance, a stainless steel condo in a dustless city, a silky black car, to make out with Blue, eight hours of sleep, a cell phone, a bed, to kiss Blue just once, a blister-less heel, bacon for breakfast, to hold Blue’s hand, one hour of sleep, toilet paper, deodorant, a soda, a minute to close his eyes. What do you want, Adam? To feel awake when my eyes are open.” PROTECT THIS ANGEL GET HIM SOME TOILET PAPER WTF (also notice how what he wants continues to drop in difficulty to acquire this is so sad i’m literally a mess) 

- “You be careful, Adam Parrish. ‘Cause one day you might get what you ask for. There might be girls in Henrietta who’ll let you talk to them like that, but i’m not one of them.” i really love this woman

- “He [Gansey] was bare-legged and sockless in his Top-Siders and very clearly a real human, an attainable human, and this, somehow, made Ronan want to smash his fist through a wall” #gay

-  “Adam thinks he saw an apparition at his place” Ronan eyed Noah, “I’m seeing an apparition right now.” this entire relationship is just ronan roasting noah have you ever seen anything so pure

- Noah freaking out about the glitter in the snowglobe #angel

- Ronan paying Adam’s rent i am alive

- Gansey comparing Blue to a platypus

- “He threw me out the window!” “You’re already dead!” amazing

- Blue wanting to get Adam high so he can relax seriously someone let this boy take a nap

- Noah: “Is crack the same thing as speed?” 

- Ashley not going into St. Agnes bc she “refuses to participate in a ceremony that doesn’t allow equal spiritual privileges to women”  NICE

- Ronan dreaming kavinsky a replica of his white sunglasses after kavinsky gave him a copy of ronan’s leather bands #pettygay

- “and he was the boy with the most beautifully interesting car and the most savagely handsome of friends, Ronan Lynch” #gay

- Gansey: “I love this car. I should buy four more of them. I’ll just open the door of one and fall into the other. One can be a living room, one can be by kitchen, I’ll live in one…” what...the fuck

- Declan coming to give gansey a new battery for the pig and Ronan actually doing the most™ “He hurriedly sprawled back in the seat, throwing one jean-covered leg over the top of Adam’s and laying his head in a posture of thoughtless abandon. By the time Declan arrived, Ronan looked as if he had been asleep for days.” this is so extra omfgggg

- “His [Declan’s] gaze followed his brother’s leg to where it rested on top of Adam’s, and his expression tightened.” dude ronan even your brother is noticing your crush u gotta do better

- Gansey thinking that Ronan tried to kill himself after all this time and then finding out that Ronan was attacked by a dream demon thing #shook

- Gansey and Ronan fighting a different dream demon thing with a box cutter and a crowbar how are these children alive 

- “She [Blue] wore a dress Ronan thought looked like a lampshade. Whatever sort of lamp it belonged on, Gansey clearly wished he had one. Ronan wasn’t a fan of lamps.” This is the least subtle homosexuality metaphor i have ever read in my life (also: Gansey crushing on Blue #nice)

- refer to this post 

- “Let’s just go on before Gansey has time to say something that makes me hate him” lmao

- “The air was stained permanently with the pleasant odor of Ronan’s childhood: hickory smoke and boxwood, grass and seed and lemon cleaner. ‘I remember,’ Gansey said thoughtfully to Ronan, ‘when you used to smell like this’” #gay

- Dream toaster

- “I am being perfectly fucking civil” #iconic

- “Don’t fucking swear” #iconic pt 2

- Calla preforming arial yoga through the continuation of Ronan’s reading 

- The entire time they are on the boat adam and gansey have the biggest hard-ons for orla and blue wants to die/kill them and ronan is disgusted 

- ronan complains about the heat like 600 times i love my dramatic son

- Gansey finding the skin of blue’s calf more “tantalizing” than orla’s entire torso boiiiii if u dont get!!!!!

- “Blue cheerfully spit a mouthful of brown water on his boat shoes.” she’s doing god’s work

- “He was struck by what a glorious and fearless animal Blue Sargent was.” I’m emo

- “Gansey, pacing next to his ruined miniature Henrietta, set his eyes on Ronan. There was something intense and heedless in them. There were many versions of Gansey, but this one had been rare since the introduction of Adam’s taming presence.” The fact that adam calms gansey down is so pure and i cannot believe this is canon (also: blue also calms gansey down... i love my bisexual son)

- Gansey being badass asf when him and ronan go to confront kavinsky about breaking in the apartment and ronan going super heart-eyes 

- also i am convinced that this scene is dick’s bi awakening

- “…Gansey leaving for D.C. without him was unbearable. They had been a two-headed creature for so long, Ronan-and-Gansey. He couldn’t say it, though. There were a thousand reason’s why he couldn’t say it” #GAY

- “While i’m gone, dream me the world. Something new for every night.” #REALLYGAY

- no one in fox way can work a cellphone maura literally had to get blue to make the gray man’s voicemail work

- Ronan blowing a kiss to gansey and adam when they are flying away in the helicopter i fucking hate him jsjsjs

- Helen asking if Adam wants to go into the whole foods with her and adam just stares at her. me too buddy

- “’Pigmy Pouters. Feisty ones!’ Gansey mouthed Blue at Adam. Adam let out a little wail of helpless laughter.” adam parrish laughing: a concept

-  Blue finally admitting to herself that she likes Gansey while laying in his bed

- “I’d ask you out, if i was alive” “i’d say yes” :(((((

- the fact that adam’s dad actually pushed my manz down the stairs at one point i will personally fight robert parrish

- “This is Adam Parrish. Shake his hand. He’s more clever than I am. One day we’ll be throwing one of these shindigs for him.” MY HEART

- Adam literally filling up a whole page describing helen #bi

- when helen asks why ronan wasn’t with them, adam and gansey both get the mental image of the house burning down lmao

- “you gonna race with those shades on, you Bulgarian mobster Jersey trash piece of shit?” he’s so elegant with words!!!1111!!!

- Ronan thinking Kavinsky is beautiful um this is gross but #gay 

- Gansey calling Blue to calm him down just because she makes him feel “uneven and shattered” im fucking emo

- Kavinsky calling gansey literally anything BUT his name: “Dick three” “dick dick dick” “Dickie”

- Ronan figuring out how to master his dreams and then leaving kavinsky #scammer

- to be honest i cannot believe helen and gansey managed to convince adam about the hondoyota with the literal SKIT they used 

- “HEY, OLD MAN!” “Ronan!” ANGELS

- ronan apologizing for wrecking the pig and Gansey actually not believing his ears.

- “Hey, Churchill tried to negotiate with hitler.” “Did he?” don’t argue with boat shoe about history this man will rip you to shreds

- pink switchblade

- “Times circular, chicken”

- BLUE GOING OFF ON ADAM IM JUST ABOUT TO QUOTE THE WHOLE ROAST

- THE WHOLE ROAST: “Politics! I have no interest. Voting? What? I forgot my apron. I think I ought to be in the kitchen right now, actually. My rolling pin-” “i didn’t know that you-” “thats my point! did it even occur to you? You wouldn’t have gone someplace without Gansey, though. You two make a grand couple! kiss him! (lmao) Well, i don’t want to be just someone to kiss. I want to be a real friend, too. Not just someone who’s fun to have around because- because I have breast!” GO OFF BITCHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Adam calling Blue a raging feminist like do boys not know that this is a complement like yes this is the angle i am going for thanks for noticing

- Gansey and Blue’s first drive together #i #am #emo

- “Jane, in this light you... Jesus. Jesus. I’ve got to get my head straight.” MURDER ME

- When Adam woke up at fox way after being asleep for 24 hours or whatever he drank four glasses for pomegranate juice and three cups of tea and then left in the span of ten minutes. i know sometimes these kids act like they are 50 years old but....this is a teenage boy 

- “It was against Ronan’s nature to appear overly interested in anything.” HES SO EXTRA 

- Grey man: “But it wasn’t personal.” Ronan: “It. Was. To. Me.” :((((((((((( also i’m pretty sure neil josten said the same thing to that police officer one time i love parallels. 

- “when ronan thought of gansey, he thought moving into monmouth manufacturing, of nights spent in companionable insomnia, of a summer searching for a king, of gansey asking for the grey man for his life. Brothers.” kill. me. 

- kavinsky dying #goodshit 

[deliverydefresas]

i just want it to be you and me forever

I’m late to the party I know, I know.

someone tell me what this is bc i have no idea, lmao (for real)

“We both came here to buy the same movie but there is only one dvd left let’s Split the cost and watch it together i have popcorn at home.”

“I’m telling you I’m 100% fine, Nina. You don’t need to ditch your date because of me.”

“Are you sure, Luna? You just broke up with Aaron, Gastón and I can reschedule any other day.”

“Again, that’s unnecessary.” Luna, at this point, had lost count of how many times she’s said this the last ten minutes. Nina was her best friend in the whole world, and she loved her a lot, but she could be overbearing when she thought she needed her. “I’ll just watch a movie, order pizza, maybe drink some wine and be extra fine by morning, okay?”

Her answer wasn’t good enough for Nina, “so you aren’t 100% fine right now?”

“That’s why I said extra fine, N.” She has to giggle because she can just picture her best friend trying to come up with reasons to appear on her doorstep and give her the ‘there’s many more fishes in the sea’ pep talk. Finally, Nina sighs and she almost dances in the middle of the street because it’s not a daily occurrence for her to admit defeat so quickly.

“Fine, then. What movie are you watching?”

“I was thinking of Grease, but I left that at my parents’ so I’m buying another one; there’s a DVD Shop four blocks away, and I’m almost there right now.” She chirps into her phone, almost skipping her way to the shop.

“Too lazy to drive to your parents’ house?”

“More like, too lazy to have the ‘I broke up with my boyfriend that you never even met, no mom, I don’t need to cry, and no dad, I don’t want you to “beat him up”’ talk, y’know?”

Nina laughs at her words and that cheers her up even more. It’s not like she’s heartbroken (because she’s not, she didn’t even like the dude that much, honestly) but making other people happy always made her happier, too. It felt nice to know other people smiled and laughed because of you.

“Did they even know you were dating someone?”

She snorts a “no” and almost trips on someone else’s foot, apologizing profusely when she sees it’s a lady carrying a baby. Nina calls for her attention thirty seconds later, “the only ones who knew were you, and Gastón by association. Oh, and Ámbar.”

Nina sounds surprised at this, “you told your cousin?”  

“It wasn’t on my plans,” she admits, cringing a little at the memory. “You know subtly isn’t my forte, so really, me asking her how to dump a guy was kind of a given.”

“I can’t picture Ámbar giving good advice on that.”

“She didn’t,” Luna’s glad she’s only a block away now, if she continued to laugh she’d either pass the shop or trip again and knock a baby off a mother’s arms, “she told me to text him ‘I’d rather lit my hair on fire than to keep on dating you’.”

Nina’s gasp makes her laugh harder, “no!”

“Yes!” by then, she’s already in opening the door to enter the shop, scanning quickly were the ‘musical’s’ section is at, “look, N, I gotta go now. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

“Fine, but we’re still on for lunch. I’ll pick you up at 11.”  

Luna hums in agreement, “that’s alright. Bye, Nina, love you!” She waits until she hears a faint ‘I love you too!’ to hang up and turn into search mode. Five minutes later, she’s looked at all the movies under the ‘G’ letter twice and still hasn’t seen John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John anywhere. Just as she’s about to give up and look for help, a guy walks her way and skims over the ‘H’ section and easily pulls out a copy of her movie.

Without meaning to, she’s gasping, “how did you do that?!”

The guy looks startled for a second, until he notices it’s her who spoke and then he’s smirking. Luna’s torn between checking him out (the guy is cute) and scowling at him (his smirk gives her the ‘he’s an asshole’ vibe) so she decides to do both at the same time. Her scow falters a little when she confirms that he’s, in fact, cute and around her age; unless he’s like her and looks younger than his actual age, which could be bad because over thirty years old kind of freak her out even if she’s halfway there.

“How did I do what?” he’s asking her, his smirk growing a little when he catches her eyes checking him out.

“Find Grease, I’ve been looking for it for five minutes, it wasn’t with the rest of the ‘G’s.” Luna looks at him once more, noticing he looks quite familiar. “Have we met before?”

His eyes hold amusement at her question, and he obviously can’t hold back a, “in your dreams.” He chuckles when she glares at him, “I think we live in the same building, you look familiar too.”  

“Oh.” His chuckle turned into a laugh at this, and she feels the tip of her ears getting warmer, “what about the movie?”

He looks down at the movie in his hand, smiling sheepishly once his eyes return to her face, “I hid it under the ‘H’ yesterday. It was the last one and I had forgotten my wallet so…”

“So there’s not another one available?” She feels disappointed. Luna really wants to watch it, but there’s no way in hell she’s driving to her parents’ house just for the DVD. She could try to omit the boyfriend news, but she knew that they’d tell her to stay for dinner and eventually the feeling of guilt would appear and she’d end up spilling her guts to them.

He hesitated for a little, before telling her “no”.

“Great.” She’s pouting, and she knows it. But she really doesn’t want to spend the evening with her parents, as much as she loves them, and she refused Nina’s offer so now she’s out of plans and will have to spend it zapping through channels and hope she finds something at least a little interesting on a Wednesday night.

“Uh, if you want we could, um, maybe watch it together, um…” he speaks and pulls her out of her sulking, realizing a second later that he’s asking for her name.

“Luna. I’m Luna.” She offers him her hand, squeezing his slightly when he accepts it.

“Matteo. Nice to meet you, Luna.” He’s smiling, and she’s temporally distracted because he’s no longer cute, but very, very pretty.

And then she remembers his offer, “um, I don’t know about the movie, though. I can always watch another thing, honestly…” Matteo looks a little dejected by this, his smile dropping a little, and she can’t help but feel a little bad.

“It’s okay, I just thought I’d offer. I have great popcorn at home and everything.” He’s cringing as soon as he realizes he’s offering popcorn to lure her to agree.

“Great popcorn, huh?”

“The greatest.”

She thinks it over for a moment. Her brain knows it’s more cons than pros; neighbor or not, she’s just met him and knows only his name (not even the full one), that he lives in her building, that he apparently likes Grease and that he’s got great popcorn. Not exactly the best information. However, her hormones are telling her to agree, that even if she doesn’t know him that well this is the opportunity to.

“Hey, it’s cool if you don’t want to. I could always lend it to you after I’ve watched it.” His offer is nice, and logically speaking, it’s a great chance to see him again. But she wants to see it tonight.

“No, I want to, it’s just…” the I don’t know you hangs in the air and he smiles again, looking all pretty again and she’s super ready to ignore her brain.

“You can call a friend and tell her you’re with me if that makes you feel better. I promise I’m not a creep, or a murderer, and you’ll be completely safe; and I won’t get offended if you do, Luna.”      

She’s sold.

“Okay, fine. But I’m paying for the movie too.”

His smile turns into a grin and he nods, pointing to the cash register, where a bored teenager is waiting for costumers. “Shall we?”

-           

Twenty minutes later, she’s texting Nina she’s with him and they’re going to watch Grease together, as well as his full name (he’s a Balsano, no middle name) and the number of his apartment (turns out he’s just one floor above her), and to call her three hours from now to check up on her and save her if needed.

She’s surprised when Nina responds with “you finally met him?”

“what do you mean?” she texts backs quickly, confused.

“he’s one of Gastón’s bffs from Oxford. He’s been living above you for months.”

“WTF??????”

“where do you think Gastón went after dropping me off at your house?????”

She doesn’t respond after that, because Matteo appears from his kitchen with a bowl full of popcorn, two sodas and two bottles of water. Now that she knows he’s the same age as Gastón (only a year older), she’s lowkey glad he’s not over thirty years old. It would have been weird.

Luna waits until he’s seated next to her to ask him, “you know Nina and Gastón?”

Matteo looks just as shocked as she is, and then he puts two and two together, “you’re Nina’s Luna?”

“I’d like to say ‘you’re Gastón’s Matteo’, but neither of them has talked about you.”

He smiles at her, offering her a bottle of water, “I’m not surprised. I only met Nina twice, and she was mostly quiet and letting Gastón talk about our time in Oxford. He was the one who mentioned you the most.”

She blinks once, twice, and grabs the bottle from his hand, “really? Weird. Gastón usually leaves us alone within ten minutes of us being together, says our language confuses him.”

“He’s very grateful Nina had you while he was away. I think he believes that without you around she’d given up on their relationship without trying first.”

“Probably,” she admits. Nina needed to be encouraged a little to go after what she wanted; it was worse when she had been younger, but now it rarely happened. She was very proud of her.

“So, why Grease?” he asks after a moment, throwing some popcorn in his mouth.

“I could ask the same thing.”

He shrugs, “it’s a fun movie. The music is good, too.”

“You like the music?” she doesn’t know why she’s surprised, half the population knew at least You’re the One That I Want.

Matteo grins, “Faculty of Music, graduated with honors. Had to take a whole curse on Musicals.”

She’s impressed, and a little thrown off at this, “oh, I just assumed you studied Economics, like Gastón.”

“Nah. We were in the same dorm on Freshman year, rented a ‘flat’ the next year. Have been close ever since.”

“And you followed him to Argentina after graduation? Truest love, Nina should be jealous.” He knows she’s teasing him, and he laughs with her.

“She should. I’m gonna steal her man so fast she won’t even notice until last minute.” Matteo pretends to flip his hair, she’s laughing harder, “I didn’t really follow him, though. I lived here a couple years before I went to England, then went to Italy for a year, and came back.”

“Your Italian accent hasn’t gone away, yet.” She noted, grabbing some popcorn off the bowl. She also noticed the movie had been ready to play for over twenty minutes, but none had reached to press play, or seemed in a hurry to do so.

“I wasn’t even born in Italy, but in Paris. My parents are Italian, so I caught their accent, only lived in Milan five years and that was enough for the it to stick. I spent some time in Spain too, that’s where I learnt Spanish.”

“That’s so cool.” Even if her words could appear as sarcastic, her tone and expression said otherwise. Matteo’s cheeks turned a bit pink, but his face remained unaffected.

“So, you never told me why you wanted Grease.”

“I broke it off with a guy, decided to watch a movie that made me happy.” She shrugs it off, but she notices how he seemed to stiff a little at her comment. He’s about to apologize for bringing it up, however, she shakes her head, “no, it’s okay. I really didn’t like him that much, the six weeks we went out I just wanted to lit my hair on fire than to keep on dating him.”

“You should’ve texted him that.” Matteo jokes, and again, she notices how he relaxes after she’s spoken.

“My cousin, Ámbar, told me the same!”

“She’s smart, you should’ve listened to her.”

“I thought it was the pregnancy hormones talking but I think you’re as crazy and mean as she is.”

“What can I say? Great people think alike.”

“Crazy people think alike, you mean.” They both laugh and take a minute to catch their breath.

Luna takes it as time to put her feelings on check. It’s weird, honestly. She feels so… connected? In sync? Comfortable? It’s not like she doesn’t hit it off with other people easily, because she does, quite a lot really. She’s sociable, she’s nice and she has a natural charm, but most of the time it’s more platonic than anything.

Matteo doesn’t feel platonic enough to be in that category.

The popcorn is getting colder and he asks if she’s ready to watch the movie. She says yes.

It’s not until Rizzo pushes Sandy and Patty Simcox lands with the trashcan that it hits her.

“Matteo?” he hums in acknowledgement, turning his head from the T.V. to look at her, “was it really the only movie left?”

His eyes shine with mischief, but his smile and expression try to play it as innocence, “of course it was. If they had more in the back, though…”

[top1course]

Proven Copywriting Formula That Works – The Structure of Persuasive Copy – Dan Lok

Dial lost part of the workshop the most important part so, keep your energy High, dude up on me okay can you do it yeah it’s okay I wouldn’t be doing my job if I now you learn something, basic principles what I want to do is I want to give you a formula, that you could walk to even take home with so you can when you’ve cracked myself a message to Candice just follow this step-by-step, and I’m going to also do a demonstration what I’m going to do, you can see up before, bad Coffee, after I use exact formula and see the after and then I’ll show you the results again some behind-the-scenes, stop you like that, so what am I companies, coco PC real estate with the number one real estate school in British Columbia, so before he’s our website you can see it’s a typical website yes, Set of corporate branding yes so on average the website most of the time you get us news, referrals, so on our website we only get about three new students among that’s pretty pathetic yes., how many thing we can do better than that, yeah that’s my perception that we could do better than that, so on average this is bringing it’s nice you could say it’s nice, but you look at a number is that nice, now it’s not so nice, so his what, the magic building blocks of cells copy that sells products like crazy, how many recognized that’s also a headline, yes, the magic the building blocks of sales copy that sells apocalypse racing, so, and there are 10 steps I’ll go through them pretty quickly, your headline, opening, you have credentials, yep offer, yeah bullets give testimonials, valid justification risk-reversal call to action, an emergency those are 10 building blocks, 10 golden blocks, now depends on what you still sometimes I might have more to the building blocks before now I just want to give you, formulaic approach, to this, headline opening credentials offer bullet testimonios, dollar justification risk-reversal called action, urgency, how many building blocks, 1010 abees, headline opening don’t worry about writing them down so much okay cuz they said would Falls post up on the website, but for now just know they are how many steps 10, so let me give you the two quick headline effective reading strategies, they’ll probably 20-30 different headline template but when I was just want to give you to two of my favorite, common ones I use, the first one is called State the claim as a question, did the Cleavers what, yeah so it would be who else wants to, black, who else wants to, a proven headline or would you like to, Who else wants to or would you like to throw you say to claim as a.

Question ask a question, question, so, he is our new page, which is a squeeze page and then squeeze page, are we asking it snow from that corporate look, do this, let me read the question for you would you like to make a fifty thousand hundred thousand half-a-million in the highly, lucrative real estate market in British Columbia, and his E-boat where would you send your friends out of secret to getting your, inside real estate license, and then here again it’s a benefit inside a secret I’m giving him something for what, for free, inside a secret also and other proven headline inside of Secrets 2., to getting your real estate license in the fastest time, possible, is there a benefit yes or no, so I can see, question headline, Next one is linked to subject music, meaning., people read news because they want to know what is, needle, so when you enter conversations in the mine and you answer the question what’s Neal it captures the attention so people love to dance, discover new things that are new and interesting and want to keep you know what was going on so you think about it, what is a tin in when you log into your Facebook, let me send that before, how many clicks, yes, nosey Parker, but that’s what I mean new, naked News worth it so you could use introducing, announcing, discover, blank, discover, discover, squeeze page after they often, this is the page that would take them to and I don’t see this is a chunk of their the cells paid by the cells page is law, i’m going to break it down song by chunk, So why, real estate, discover, discover the life-changing career where you control your schedule and you determine the lifestyle for you and your family, let me ask you a question what we sell is basically real estate classes helping, people to get their real estate license you got that right, do you see any of that in the headline, no, why not because, why do people want to get into real estate, make money and also, freedom, so I’ll meet with that lightning to headlights and noticed I did not say look at the top right corner I did not say, want to come to our class, no one more money and, call this number, benefit, and this a video as well, remember they never read anything at first they never believe anything at first and then ever do anything at first, keep this in mind, i never read anything at first never believe anything in Thor’s and never do anything at first so you have to say hi, Yes, that’s the first step, and the purpose of a headline is not yourself, what is the purpose of headlight the purpose of the headline is to get them to read the first, paragraph, that’s it, a lot of marketers and make a mistake and try to sell everything in hell I know, the purpose of the headliner to get them to what, with the what, with the first so what’s the purpose of the first paragraph, to get them to read the second paragraph, that’s it, you want to take them through this logical sequence, if you hold attention then there’s three things that they’re doing sticking to do next, sticking a scheme scroll and skin, we’re talking about website, they going to skim scroll and skin let me ask you a question isn’t that what you do, Something from the picture it so some of the words paperwork what jumped.

Yes, so scheme scroll and scan, and then you have to besides your headline now you have what I call you opening your what, come on you what opening yes, the opening set the criteria is that what, the criteria from whom the letters intended and what they stand to gain by reading it, what they stand to gain by reading it says the criteria, just opening hey you know what, i caught your attention, now you are paying attention, opening paragraph, this thing is about Isabel, opening paragraph, and the best way I like to do it. Sometimes it’s a question sometimes it’s what I call, did the picture, imagine, sandusky case, imagine setting up your own setting your own schedule and making more money from a single deal than you’re making it a whole year working for, For someone else., imagine, burning your current income adding a side income working part-time if you choose to you might also be thinking is the key, i’m entering the conversation that’s going on in their mind, should I take real estate should I change career, how should I do in one of the steps is it difficult that Santa Claus isn’t that what they’re thinking put yourself in their shoes yes, so, you might also be thinking yes I understand that the booming BC Real Estate industry is a highly lucrative Market, how can someone like me with no partition in real estate no excuses no experience earn in a year, good question, then I go into the money, number three, doodle block number 3, establish, credibility, fidelity, establish credibility, sognare answer the question with this chunk, why should, i listen to you, Why should I listen to this what this person has to say, why should I listen to you, the credibility, so there you can go into a little bit above, little bit of me copy your credentials your expertise declines your path, okay cuz now you’re hell on you hold them and you’ll be opening now you know exactly what that you know that, i’m in the right place, now OK Google who who are you, okay that’s what you do is that make sense, listen to what I have to say, so in this case we go through why don’t we tell them why go BC Real Estate School, with a more successful real estate licensing program busy with over 1500 + successful students, over 12 years, i would have used a specific numbers but frankly we have no idea, otherwise I would have used, 1576 I’m not so sure, So I don’t want to just put affect, so that way a little video and we talked about what mixes difference six weeks or less guarantee real estate licensing, number one rule to success program pc-98, pics of success rate 90% of students take a class pass exam, 11:15 and also Curry employment, helping them find a Brokers off today, they take the class, here I’m explaining to them what makes us different from every other school does that make sense, so credentials, credentials credibility, number for you want to make an offer you want to make it right, offer, how to solve the problem exactly do you gain by buying what you have, make him an offer, how we going to solve their problem, jaime solve the problem, and here we got the most flexible convening class options, we offer the most flexible convening class options to get you, aSAP, and then we show them different locations we have but he’s a lot if you cannot come to life classes or you have a very busy schedule and roll, Another online class option that’s okay to I don’t want to go to Sri I don’t want to go to Vancouver.

That’s okay do it online, does that make sense, the best coffee you would anticipate on Jefferson that you’ll Park the prospect my house, can you handle them ahead of time, you didn’t answer the question if they’re reading your stuff it should be, how do you know, how do you know that’s what I’m thinking, and your answer them down. It makes them feel comfortable, yes, number five bullets, now I’m not talkin about that I pull it in that again, bullet a bullet is a brief statement that identifies a single benefit, off a byproduct service, you know how you have to work at the boiling point, That one statement that’s what I’m talking about, and work, so a brief statement, so here’s an example, wego3, and he the courses we got, enjoy isn’t so he’s what you start with Isis Kobe 6s classes, easy to use, simplify chapter summaries, tickets exactly what you need for exam and reduces your study Time by month and reduces stress, feature, easy-to-use simplify chapter summaries, he’s exactly what you need and reduces just study Time by months reduces stress, that’s a benefit, got it, and I don’t want the math Bible that has the answer to every math question on the exam, yours to keep, and help you make money with when you’re making deals after you exempt okay that’s cool, okay done for you answer key for your 20 mandatory assignments require before taking exam, you’re guided step-by-step off the way and you’ll given the correct answers and then we go through there go BC mock exam, Cummins with wheel life questions updated on a monthly basis with the most recent Center, personal planning, bullet bullet bullet bullet bullet bullet, what again, number 6 testimonials, third-party verification that your solution does what he claims to do again on the consumer, i’m skeptical how do I know you’re telling the truth, as far as I’m concerned I just don’t want Pawn on Lyons Co website, i don’t know, i’m not come to give you my credit card information so some testimonials, what other people have experience, what other people can say about your product and services write this down, all the people, can say about your product and services, infinitely, more powerful than what you can say about, what you doing, infinitely more powerful, so we have some, testimonials for here, if he sees what others like you, A succeeding with Kobe’s real estate and then we show video testimony beerus at the moment so ideally you want to get, video testimonials, with a testimonial, yes a picture, a picture, and more specific the better if it’s just like, you know your stuff I really enjoy., you know John totsi, if it’s the full name, if it’s the city there from if the occupation, the most specific and detailed the more credible, you getting it, so testimonials are powerful, number 7 key, value justification, people always have this skill in the mind Wayne, if I spend this money is it worth it, apples to Orange, if I compete at my problem, i don’t want this problem if I can spend the money, my palm goes away very quickly, is it worth it was at this scale, dwayne, so you want to talk about how valuable your product service solution actually is the user, Highlight the value to your offer.

And do it in a way that contrast, the price in a stable way meaning, how can you make it a no-brainer for them, how could you make it, dad, they can easily justify the price, how do you make it that it’s a no-brainer, this is this is easy this is a no-brainer I want to do this, okay, so here’s how we did it, we sold them, a shocking, 63% of students in Westchester for the UBC, real estate exam, never shop at exam and you don’t even try how could this be true and we show them this is a pot of s***, you got to study on your own, 1000 pages of, stop, if you want to pass exam, this is us up you got to study, and we purposely show different pictures, you see how small the font, And all passive writing, pat is so boring to read, we showed him this, he’s what UBC gives you, and then we go go through you know you busy gives you 1000 page textbook and 20 minutes away assignments to complete., david Goes to just how much stuff, now I want to make money in real estate, i got to go to 1000 pages to stop I don’t want to go through that right, and then we show them he’s always have, you can do this, all you can do that, i think even tell them basically your three options here, press option, i’ll read this, you can give up on your dreams, and all the benefits of being a self-employed real estate professional, and continue doing what you do a little bit of pain right, if you paint, but let’s be frank you wouldn’t have read up to this point, If you wanted that, psychological trigger, write this down, association, but let’s be frank, you wouldn’t have led up to this point, if you wanted that, it means, yeah it makes tens if I went up to this point I should buy this, you getting this, you’re here because you believe that you deserve a better career and lifestyle, that the one you have now, yeah, second option is that you can study on your own, again is very tough and time-consuming with all the shortcuts we know, and this is an option for people who are strong and studying complex legal Concepts math, equations in Order series, that’s not me I don’t want that, offer options in Roanoke in a course to give you step-by-step guidance on exactly what to expect when example, wBC textbooks, this is what you need, one fin binder, wonder the book, 1 math book, that’s it, it’s a brilliant a what, yes, that’s how we sell, that’s how we sell, risk reversal, risk reversal can you turn on the volume, the longer you’re guaranteed the more orders you’ll get and the less likely that you received refund request will risk reversal one, objections I hear from multiple nerves but then I’m afraid of author guarantee, that you know people take advantage of me and that they were sent back my stuff, listen to rip me off let me answer., okay let me answer that for you you are going to get ripped off, guarantee, but you get so much more sales it doesn’t matter, so if you’re making this much cells, and you have no problem no refund this and that okay that’s a baby makes that much more cells, and you get this much refund doesn’t matter, it does not matter, So no one is going to happen but you get so much more sell so much more revenue is irrelevant.

And if your refund is so high effects of probability, what does that mean, your product sucks, so let’s not fix the guaranteed us fix the product, let’s get real, that’s what I’m talking about, so if you believe in yourself, you stand behind you stand behind what you sell yes or would guarantee, absolutely, 30-day money-back guarantee so after 12 years in business I’ll soon to averaging not impressed, take a class tickets if you don’t pass will give you money back, riversimple, we want you to pass exam because we’re selling results will tell me what, results, money back guarantee a big wheel seal, and the number 9, call, to action, call to action, now okay, now you give me your your case, yumi’s cells argument, you’ve captured my attention, You’ve establish credibility you show me other people just like me has experienced results, i can see exactly how going to solve my problem, i also know how this thing work I can see the benefit now exactly what do I do what do you want me to do, you want to make ordering as easy as obvious as possible, you wanted to call, give them a call free number and big print, you wanted to click on link make sure the link is obvious clickable and as possible, common sense right, common sense, call the action, so he’s walking out, 995 live classes they could do that, what online classes only 695 in the comfort of, most people know that they can take it from home now, will a little coffee there, in the comfort of your home or office at a time that works for you even I give them the feature you can take it off, But I also give them, just to make sure to get it do this from home, oh okay I can do this right, i want to make it obvious, i want to make it obvious, and he is the last step, urgency, so now I know the price I want to buy, why do I want to buy now and that’s what’s missing in most offers yes, hell yeah hell yeah GIF deadline by which, to take action in order to get the special deal, because people procrastinate, you thinking of product you’re thinking of getting it but then you wait for few days to procrastinate and then you don’t buy, how is thunder before we all have, procrastination kills, cells, tequila sales, you got to give them a reason why they need to buy now, yes Nathan we tell them that, countdown for maximum time we we summarize the offer and give them, The other about the bonuses they going to get the top that you would, nCAA video how many seen that they had like the video right, so let me just show you the video real quick so it’s summarized everything that we have, dennis coming out., do that deal with her, i see a lot of, online, yes, and they seem, yes so in this case we are not Trotwood promising it’s the price that we might increase, we’re not saying you know you come back, we don’t have any classes anymore, we’re saying you get the bonuses cuz we sent him a text books and everything, we sing with Cupid at this price, that’s what the offer is, and we are going to test you see it depends on what time you going to be my test different prices and I-95 right now, What is a student season ticket to law students.

When my phone is at 12:35, so you see that that’s why they want to act so let me show the video, alana, are you looking for a new career why you looking for the easiest way to earn thousands of dollars every month working parts, do you enjoy working with people and making your own schedule, if you’re born in mind that you probably thought about joining the booming real estate industry in BC, as a real estate agent you have the freedom to work whenever you want, you can also make you money if you want to, and it is a career where you can make six figures even if you have no prior sales ask experience or education, and yes the money is really good imagine, what would an extra 100 thousand to $500,000 mean for you, What cause your money and freedom do for your friends and family, studying for the real estate exam is the biggest challenge you have a 1000-page book of complex real estate, this is a problem because it takes too much time and energy to study on your own, make more money, that’s why you love go BC Real Estate, 4/12 years more than 1,500 real estate agent, gobezie give you instant access by putting you on a bass Tracker didn’t license and just 6 to 10 weeks, with a 90% pathway Bill BC Real Estate is the number one real estate licensing school in BC, fitness program you get the most current industry knowledge and exactly what you needed to pass your exam, the best part is when for proven system you are guaranteed to be licensed the first time taking the exam, your money back, if you have a family to take care of if you have limited English skills or if you’re working full-time living love how fun and how, Online training, our goal is to get you a new life real estate as soon as possible, enroll today and get license back, so the video, hamilton got the pretty cool video, okay I saw Whiteboard video Amaya, samara and her company made that for me, pretty cool, how do they make it I have no clue, like they say it is crazy but it’s cool so this is for people who don’t want to read, this is so you know what you really watch a 2-minute video you get exactly, you can see, exactly what we do in 2-minute video, and here’s the thing, the video script, isn’t that also copywriting, it’s all copywriting, i could have seen video same cool graphics, but if my coffee is not compelling, not going to work, Knocking at work, nEC if you actually watched, but but, you would see it it follows a logical secant line benefit what what’s in it for them, so here the result, went from 3 students a month to 45 new student in October alone, death of 1500 percent increase, and October is not supposed to be a great month, that’s, the power, of copywriting, that’s the power, off your written work, that’s The Power of knowing that, you know what when you have mastered the skill and when you, hire someone who has this skill, that’s a difference, i don’t want to take credit for that page you might think I’ve no I didn’t like that Stephen would that be, but give him a lot of loss, so, knowing this is a skill that you now, engine in toolbelt then now you know go out there you already know way more than most business owners, Way more than business owners.

The power of the written words, okay thank you very much and I’ll see you next time, 10 * your finances 10, times your business 10 times your marketing 10 times your life hit the subscribe, play button now,

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Riverdale TV Show Review Episode 4 by Andrew Buckley

Let me start by explaining the relationship I have with Archie comics. I lived in the UK until I was 17. Archie comics didn’t exist over there. But I visited Canada with my family several times between ages 8 and 13 and was spellbound by these thick comic books being sold at the end of every grocery store checkout. I loved the comedic elements of the Archie comics, the diverse characters, and the relationships throughout. The characterization of a bumbling Archie, Betty the girl next door, Veronica the rich girl, Jughead the anti-teen, Reggie the asshole, and so on . . . all magical in my tween/teen mind.

When they announced a reboot of the comic book in 2016, I was skeptical. But it turned out to be amazing. When they announced a ‘dark and gritty’ TV show based on the comic with a murder as the centrepiece of the first season, I rolled my eyes. Please note, I do not roll my eyes lightly. I was more than skeptical. It sounded stupid and miscalculated on every level. So imagine my shock upon watching the first episode and being completely blown away to the point where I’m now thoroughly addicted to the show. The story, the characters, the twists, the turns, the cinematography . . . yeah, that’s right, cinematography! It’s not Stranger Things level beautiful, but it’s damn sexy. Needless to say, my inner tween is extremely happy. (please note, I’ve tried to have my inner tween surgically removed but apparently he’s attached to some very important internal organs, and so he stays).

With that lengthy, pointless, and sometimes meandering preamble out of the way, on with the review!

RIVERDALE - Chapter Four: The Last Picture Show

For an ensemble piece, this show certainly knows how to hit all the right emotional points with a scary amount of accuracy. On the Trilogy Spoilers Podcast http://www.andrewbuckleyauthor.com/trilogy-spoilers-podcast, Chris Morris and I have often talked about the other CW shows (Arrow, Flash, Supergirl) and how they tend not to drag out storylines. The same goes for Riverdale. While the Jason murder story is ongoing, the Archie-Grundy love connection got wrapped up this week (as far as we know). And it all happened hot on the heels of Dilton’s statement that he saw Grundy’s car by the river on July 4th. Dun dun duuuhhh!

This throws Betty’s super-sleuth (possibly paranoia) into overdrive and she quickly puts two and two together when she sees Archie and that dreamy guy from 90210 having dinner with the seductress in question. Betty’s meticulous diary-writing (therapeutic tool?) tips off Mrs. Cooper, who has no sense of personal boundaries, and we’re left with a bizarre pedophileish mexican stand off.

To jump to the heart of the matter, no matter what Miss. Grundy’s tragic backstory entailed, she was 100% in the wrong. I know some critics of the show have been appalled at this particular storyline and that our all american red-headed teen is messing around with his music teacher. My music teacher was old, overweight, had a very thick mustache, and a rage issue. I feel like I would have been more musically inclined had my teacher looked like Miss. Grundy. Not to say there’s any correlation between the sex appeal of music teachers and the consequent aptitude of their students . . . I think I lost the thread. Grundy is a child predator, just look at the way she ogled the two students at the end. If I had to guess, I expect we’ll see her again.

Grundy, or whatever her real name was, is run out of town by Mrs. Cooper whose main motivation is to pour a large amount of hate all over Archie, though I can’t honestly figure out why. Apparently she hates gingers because of what Jason did to Polly. Which brings me to another sideline (bear with me) - Who is Polly Cooper?!

We don’t see her. We don’t see pictures of her. We haven’t seen her room. We know she was in a relationship with Jason, that she had some sort of breakdown, that she’s only really ever referenced by Betty and her Mom. I have a theory that doesn’t quite add up, but I believe Betty may have a split personality and that Polly was the ‘other’ personality. Betty passionately asked in this episode “What’s my name?!” and then there was that whole deal with the wig and the maple syrup last week. AND, don’t you think it’s interesting the contrast that’s developing between Betty and Veronica. Ronnie is meant to be the stone cold bitch, but Betty is actually the one with the dark side (she broke into a car and stole a gun, that sneaky interview with Grundy . . . did I mention maple syrup?!). It’s almost like she has another personality showing through! Whhhaatttt?! Yeah, I have no proof. But I’m sticking with this theory for now.

Back to the show. Grundy’s gone. Arch is upset. His father is incredibly understanding. I feel like maybe there’s something in Mr. Andrew’s past that helps him relate to his son’s dilemma and subsequent heartbreak, but kudos to the old man for giving his son the appropriate amount of support and a literal shoulder to cry on.

While supporting Betty in her investigation of Miss. Grundy, Veronica has her own set of problems. Her mother likes meeting with shady-looking bikers behind dumpsters and not for the usual reasons that people meet with bikers behind dumpsters (so I’ve heard). This all comes down to the central driving force behind the Lodge family - Money! Mr. Lodge paid some bikers to bring down the property value of the Twilight Drive-In so he could buy it cheap, destroy it, and probably build some ugly monstrosity. What confused me here was that Hermione when along with it and initially lied to Ronnie about it. I assume she gets money out of it. Sure, she has a job, but I mean, she still has a butler. I don’t think Smithers is working for free. There’s a lot going on with the Lodges that we’re not seeing yet. Either way, Mr. Lodge’s plan works, resulting in Veronica having a bit of a moral attack over the ethical dubiousness of her family. But that slides nicely into our main storyline of the week, and my favourite character.

This part of the story was heartbreaking for me because in one fell swoop it revealed a massive backstory for Jughead with only a few lines of dialogue and the visual of an empty bed. Up until this episode, Jug has been the one giving the closing cliffhanger narration. This time around, Betty has the mic but it’s the visual pieces featuring Jughead that drop the cliffhanger this week.

Throughout the episode, Jug was determined to save the Twilight Drive-in, which I wrongly assumed was due to both his love of movies and of a classic version of Riverdale. Not so. After he passionately petitions to Mayor McCoy to save the Drive-in and then to Archie’s dad to delay the demolition of the property, it seems pretty obvious that the place has a special place in our burger-munching hero’s heart. But it’s more than that and I hadn’t realized it until this episode. We never see Jughead’s family. We only ever see him at school or at Pop’s. And now we know why. Poor Jug is homeless as soon as the Twilight is destroyed.

It didn’t just represent childhood memories, it was a place of sanctuary, his home! The revelation that the leader of the local biker gang is his Dad tells us a lot about his character and, while opening it up to speculation, firmly cements Jughead’s story as one of tragic beginnings, and someone who lives on the outside of the Riverdale cliques.

It’s the delivery of these emotional moments with individual characters that tie the show together and entices the viewer to watch more (That and everyone’s hot. But then, it’s the CW. It’s a prerequisite). It’s those moments that allow us to overlook and accept the cliche-ridden Cheryl Blossom and the stereotypically gay Kevin (although I loved his scenes this week) because the show’s storyline carries so much wonderful teen angst-ridden drama!

I don’t know that Riverdale can keep delivering the goods every week with the same consistency as the first four episodes, but I’m definitely hopping in the jalopy and going along the ride!

Stray Thoughts of Awesomeness . . .

- We got to see Midge! Briefly! She was making out with Moose at the drive-in.

- Kevin and Biker Teen making out!

- To recap the end of episode narration cliffhangers so far:

- The first arrest happened on Tuesday (paid off, Cheryl was briefly arrested)

- Jason wasn’t killed until a week after he disappeared (ongoing)

- Chuck is suspended and the ripples wouldn’t be felt until much later (ongoing)

- Jughead is homeless (ongoing)

- Where was Ethel this week? Was she eaten by the demogorgon? #JusticeForEthel

- Who tore up the Sheriff’s home office? Who had the motive?

- How long are we going to have to wait for Jughead to find a puppy and name it Hotdog?

Andrew Buckley attended the Vancouver Film School’s Writing for Film and Television program. After pitching and developing several screenplay projects for film and television, he worked in marketing and public relations, before becoming a professional copy and content writer. During this time Andrew began writing his first adult novel, DEATH, THE DEVIL AND THE GOLDFISH, followed closely by his second novel, STILTSKIN. He works as an editor for Curiosity Quills Press.

Andrew also co-hosts a geek movie podcast, is working on his next novel, and has a stunning amount of other ideas. He now lives happily in the Okanagan Valley, BC with three kids, one cat, one needy dog, one beautiful wife, and a multitude of characters that live comfortably inside of his mind.

Andrew is represented by Mark Gottlieb at the Trident Media Group.

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