#bc i can’t show affection properly and how i love people

[2truehearts]

today’s hardest pill to swallow is that i deserve to be happy

[ghostgraveyard]

I feel like I need to clarify. I like the whole “The Jedi code is like an itch; their compassion leaves a trail.” thing but more as a ‘values that the best and most true Jedi hold’ and that sort of futile idealism people believe applies to the jedi as a whole.

But I hate when people take that line and use it as a reason to discount people arguing against the Jedi.

Like you need to see the difference between ideals and values vs action.

I love that u love ur jedi and what they stand for, but i need you to understand that the jedi actually SUCK and thats okay (for you to like them in spite of such). Stop trying to convince people of their goodness bc for sure, some of them are good, but that doesnt make them representative.

The jedi fell bc they were a working part of a corrupt system and u literally can’t take their responsibility for that away just bc u wunna hold their hand and giggle. Root for them but dont talk to anyone amidst your delusion where the meow meow jedi can do no wrong. Do you understand?

“Their compassion leaves a trail…its like an itch” and I would see so many people use it like “See? The jedi are peak perfection and good!” and im like, “No! They arent! Anakin’s entire origin story is a prime example as to why!”

This was unironically canon:

Anakin: tries to literally do the most for one ounce of approval

Obiwan: 😐 your desire for praise will be your undoing.

Anakin: 😦

Can you not see he is DESPERATE for something he’s done to be recognised. His inner child is begging to be seen. His outer child is doing its best to be worthy of it and every time he thinks “this is it, this time—“ he’s basically smited.

Anakin knows love and affection through the eyes of a slave. Blunt honesty and proof through care and being there (action) and staying through thick and thin. He doesn’t need you to burn down a planet because that’s HIS love language, thats how HE shows he cares, not how he needs others to show it.

Because he feels he’s not good enough—burning down a planet, in his mind, shows the people he cares for that he would do anything for them of it’s in his power to do so, and that he really means it when he says he loves them. Grand gestures are how HE shows love because he feels like anything else is as inadequate as he is

Being abandoned and never told he’s loved and cared for is a big reason his affections and attachments turn obsessive. He’s never been given anything concrete, he’s never shown that people care in a way he can understand. They think “I said hi to him and spoke up for him and trained him and gave him camaraderie—thats proof I love him” and think Anakin can properly differentiate it between duty and not.

He thinks, “my master is my master but he only cares for the Jedi and I can’t live without him but he could without me bc I’m a burden and will never be good enough or perfect like Obi-wan” bc Obi-wan isn’t honest with himself or Anakin, and you can see this etched into the very lines of his story no matter where you look.

He doesn’t say “i love you” to Anakin’s face until he’s literally chopped Anakin’s limbs off and left him to die on Mustafar, and even then it’s ambiguous. Anakin understands there is SOME sort of affection between him and Obi-wan that goes both ways but in the end, he never feels like he can truly tell Obi-wan anything without being shunned, misunderstood, or lectured, when all he needs is someone to talk to and hold close without fearing theyll leave him behind when he disappoints them.

One of the only people to ever outright tell Anakin what they feel was his mom, and she ended up dead bc Anakin was told he was being irrational about her and his visions of her death; and the fact that his mother was one of the only people to ever tell him she loved him and was proud, and that she was one of the only people who would never turn her back on him when he wasnt perfect (bc she thought he was perfect anyway. Her love for anakin was unconditional whereas everyone elses’ seemed to be very obviously conditional) and that terrified him bc following her death, the only other person left was Padmé, in their very unhealthy, very suspicious, co-dependant romance.

But even then, since she was the ONLY ONE he knew for sure how they felt, he was terrified something would happen to her and that she would leave him too—be it through death or finding someone to replace him (visions + irrationally believing she and Obi-wan were having an affair). He was obsessive and possessive and I honestly can’t blame him, especially from a psychological standpoint—and even more especially, from a child psychology standpoint. He was never given a reason or a chance to nurture any secure attachment style, especially when faced with the first 10 years of his life as a slave? Yikes.

He was obsessed with his relationships because he never had anything else to hold on to (from his perspective), and do you know who took gleeful advantage of that? Palpatine.

Anakin only wanted to be good enough, to make people proud, to give them a reason to tell him they love him. And maybe the one person he wanted to lure in the most was Obi-wan, who viciously shunned him for that, even when he would sparsely give anakin the praise he wanted so desperately

Anakin said, “I beat you! I won!” All giddy and self-assured after a spar with Obi-wan and instead of allowing that feeling of accomplishment, of the desire to make his master proud, Obi-wan just looked at him and said with shame, “Your need for praise will be your undoing,” and in the end, he wasn’t wrong. It was a self fulfilling prophecy.

Because in the end. The only person left who told Anakin he was proud was fucking slimy Palpatine, the dark lord of the goddamn sith.

Unfortunately, a lot of explicitly pro-jedi/jedi apologist fandom participants like to “interpret” the Jedi code themselves. They make these incredibly long-winded, well thought-out posts explaining the meaning and how it works in practice and how the jedi embody this—BUT they never actually consider or address the literal canon aspects. Things we actually see with our eyes: the novelisations, the games, the shows, the movies.

You’d think, therefore they must be, right? Wrong. You say this is what the Jedi are like and while that’s beautifully wonderful and I wish you were right—that’s literally not what happens. Literally not what they’re like at all. It’s actively part of the plot.

I think your interpretations of the code are great but you act like that’s the reality we’re actually living in. You act like that’s what the shows tell you, rather than just what you want to believe based on your own interpretation of the code itself (ignoring lack of congruency we sometimes see in the shows or movies).

My point is, you can love the jedi while acknowledging their VERY obvious flaws. The flaws that destroy them, corrupt them, misguide them, make them terrible people. The flaws that cannot be retconned by one writer saying “its an itch” while pretending Anakin’s “Anakin Skywalker is dead. I killed him” makes up for the horrible things Old Hermit Kenobi does with luke.

So yeah.

Lets at least be real when we’re loving who we love.

[elendsessor]

not here to start shipping discourse nor am i down for involving myself in it but i really want to point out the misinterpretation of certain knowledge/god ships at least on the standpoint that it’s “healthy” and not problematic, and how that negatively affects the themes of 5/5v.

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of incest and manipulation because yes that’s actually present in the game

what koshishu is becoming painted as in the fandom scene is really concerning and perfectly highlights the problems within the community okay. ignore the massive position of power koshimizu is in and how he sees v in a brotherly light

the protag is susano-o’s knowledge, therefore susano-o

guess who susano-o’s brother is

tsukuyomi

and guess who tsukuyomi is

koshimizu

the difference between aoshu and koshishu comes down to not just the framing but how aoshu is interpretive. there’s no real answer as to what it does and doesn’t count as, but it’s also genuinely healthy, especially since the entire relationship is based on proper communication.

not only is v and koshimizu’s relationship more one-sided/begrudging and clearly fucking uncomfortable (battle animation comparisons please look at them), their means of communication is symbolically strained, plus they’re literally fucking siblings. that’s like. the actual one thing that does get heavily implied about them more than the uncomfortable situation.

if you want to draw or write controversial content, then fine. freedom of expression and all that jazz. but don’t ignore what they are.

generally the big issue with how the god/knowledge pairings are framed particularly in fanon but in some ways canon is that they’re seen as inherently romantic because of the soulmate thing. not all of them are. good chunk of them are a power dynamic where one’s taking advantage of the other for their own gain (ex lahmu + sahori being. yeah. and abdiel wanting god’s approval through religious supremacy thus using dazai as a means to an end). the ones that aren’t or grow to be more than that are there, yes, but that’s the exception rather than the rule. yakumo and nuwa come to genuinely love one another. aogami caring for the protagonist grows beyond obligation. while not present at all in canon of creation, vengeance shows yuzuru and koshimizu as both wanting to protect those who can’t protect themselves and a sort of eventual familial dynamic.

the story of 5 and vengeance is that of different relationships—the healthy, the unhealthy, and the strained. despite how the term relationship is often used, a relationship varies. it can be familial, platonic, romantic, or some other option. having bonded souls is something not only mainly seen as romantic but also is a trope primarily used for romance. this is entirely fine, yet again this isn’t the only meaning behind it.

again don’t think canon helped as well. yakumo and nuwa are definitely heavily pushed as romantic and they’re the one nahobino pairing you see the most of. moments in the game (mostly subquests) involving gods wanting to force v into becoming their knowledge doesn’t have a lot of consequences outside of giving you a reason to fight them. for the most part, though, the game doesn’t paint everything as romantic just bc soulmates.

it’s also really important to acknowledge the bad sides of the more unstable pairings. romanticizing everything does enforce the idea that unhealthy relationships are okay which does lead to real people getting hurt because they’ll think being in a toxic scenario is fine. if you’re writing about them, please appropriately tag them.

the pairings are insanely interesting, yes. i would love to see more about them. i’ve come across fics that do, in fact, properly handle the subject of unhealthy dynamics or one-sided love for someone in an unhealthy age/power gap. it’s a good talking point and makes for excellent character studies. don’t ignore what the more controversial ones actually heavily imply, though, and what it stands for thematically.

[lemonhemlock]

Honestly I think I hate Cersei because she thinks she is some mastermind while she isn’t. Tywin and how he keep holding power for so long is very interesting, btw I love Tywin and Kevan dynamics. Jaime is my fave i just love his storyline. As for Tyrion, there are 2 of them. The book one and the show one. Show one I hate. Book one I kinda enjoy because he constantly flirts with darkness. I don’t buy show Tyrion poor misunderstood meow meow. And I hate that they did the same with show Aemond. That’s why I prefer Aegon and Daemon. From the beginning you know where they stand, there are no attempts to make them sympathetic bullshit. Stop whitewashing characters in order to make characters more sympathising for audience. The reason why the Joker, Soprano Family and Roy family from Succession are so great is because they aren’t portrayed as some poor people being victims of their circumstances all their life. Aemond wanting to console Jace at Driftmark? What the fuck is that? Also giving him sexual trauma made me laugh. The show made it clear I and everyone else is meant to feel sorry for him but I just laughed at how pathetic they are. Like you have weak Viserys, pedo Daemon, rapist and drunkard Aegon and traumatised and with only one eye Aemond. So yeah, the winner of who should be the fan favourite is clear. Instead of showing the 4 of them as bad and letting people choose who their favourite is, they create 3 of them in unsympathetic light and make one of them #1 victim and the other 3 as monsters or weak men. Sorry but I hate the narrative where I am being shown down my throat who I am supposed to love and who to hate. Especially if 3 out of 4 characters are doing terrible things and only one behaves properly until starting the war. I really can’t wait for Aemond to burn Riverlands, most stans would leave his fanclub and began to see Aegon is not the worst guy out there. I just hope TGC won’t stop playing Aegon until the moment Aemond will show everyone what a legit psycho he really is.

idk what to tell you, anon, this is not exactly the blog for cersei haters. i've always found this prevailing tendency of enjoying jaime as a character but disliking cersei to be very strange, bc their POVs are so intertwined and they are as delusional & "awful" as the other so i don't really see the point here. it's a choice i would personally interrogate bc more often than not it has some v unsavory roots. cersei can be just as funny as jaime and he can be just as unhinged as her. also cersei's dumbness is greatly exaggerated, she does have some good ideas and a knack for getting out of tricky situations (some of them of her own making, yes, but she's hardly the idiot fandom likes to paint her as). fans sure love to think they would have made better decisions had they been in her situation.

she also suffers from getting a POV so late in the game, in comparison to her brothers, and is way more affected psychologically by the death of her son than jaime is + the prophecy hanging over her head. she's basically having the worst mental health crisis in AFFC and getting judged for not being Machiavelli's Prince

as for the rest of the message, as i've said in a previous post, i see this desire to not allow characters to be anything other than cardboard villains very reductive and not smth i'm personally interested in fiction. narrative bias and needless demonisation at the expense of others is one thing, but, generally-speaking, why is it somehow superior if they only receive dark traits instead of being humanized & muddled? why is it better writing if aemond is only shown as a psycho killing machine? are the literature gods going to get angry if he tries to be polite one time? the roy siblings weren't coddled by the narrative but they were also shown acting like human beings (clumsily) trying to connect with people

also no actor is going to turn down hbo money and the opportunity to appear in one of the most viewed shows of the year, so i don't see why tgc would stop playing aegon, unless he were fired. these people are professional actors, they may not like or agree with certain character choices but they don't have the luxury of turning down jobs bc of their character is not "true to the text". they still have bills to pay.

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

oof yeah, the person who put hsy down? that’s upsetting. esp since hsy is my favourite and the only reason i preserved throughout a lot of the arcs was the promise of seeing more hsy later on. i want to give hsy some love now so i’ll be writing hsy focused yhk propaganda !! (bc i can’t stand seeing hate simmer and sit there unresolved. i get the other person might just prefer yjh and kdj, or they might just dislike hsy in general. and that’s fine !! just,, not here please?)

hsy is a pathetic cringefail but so are the other two it’s fine. we love them the way they are !! even if they’re all terrible at communication. she IS pretty btw, not as pretty as the other character canonically maybe. but i am charmed by her little mole and her silly short hair. i need the other two to also be charmed by her little mole. she needs kisses, i mean like all of yhk needs kisses and hugs and affection so like. but like she also needs love and affection and it’s heart wrenching how much she loves and cares for kdj. again i can’t say for yoohan but they’re like, the besties who you think could not be besties but they are. like what if we were both touch starved people and the other touch starved person we mutually love and care for is being a fucking idiot again… but yoohan is also what if i annoyed you so much we would get into an arguments every ten seconds. BUT ALSO what if instead of giving into ur violent desires you should go along with my annoying schemes. domestic yoohan is also great, gremlin loser and her malewife who refuses to let her eat her lemon lollipops.

hankim is like horrible. they make me sick (/affectionate). like why… how can you fit so much longing and affection and loyalty and gratitude….., how can you stand that? how can you choose a single person over everyone else? (this again, extends to yjh and kdj’s relationship. this polyship is rlly just a triangle of longing and want and affection and loyalty and gratitude.) sighs, the things yoohankim does for each other… genuinely, i don’t think anyone could do the things they did if they didn’t genuinely care for and love each other. the way that they genuinely, could not have done the things they did if they didn’t have so much love and affection and care for each other… yoohankim…. you utter fools…. what are you doing……

hsy being purposefully annoying and irritating to the people around her bc she quite literally doesn’t know how to properly express stuff and she would rather show everyone why they should leave so at least when everyone /does/ leave her she can say it was on purpose… she’s so so lonely. and she sees these other lonely idiots and goes “huh” and tries to drive them away bc being alone is easier and nobody actually cares for her and getting people to leave on her own accord is easier to handle than people leaving on their own… but these lonely idiots just keep accidentally bumping into her instead of permanently leaving and oh god now she’s roped into all this shit but fuck. they’re actually growing on her and oh god what is this does she actually care for them? it’s horrible it’s embarrassing. until she finally gets it in her head that some of these people actually does care for her. and now there’s this spark of loyalty and care. she wants these losers to survive with her, no matter how much she acts as though it’s only for her own interests (which is a part of things but i think she genuinely does want the safety of these ragtag group of losers she’s been roped into, why else would she stick around? even at times when it would be better to go and do things alone?) she cares, she cares so much, she cares so much because she’s been alone for so long and there are people who finally care abt her and she cares too. in fact she cares so much, esp for kdj bc in all honesty kdj might’ve been her first friend? she cares so little for the world, and cares so much abt the people closest to her… she would give the world to kdj… she is so, so tired of these idiots. she loves these idiots too much. she wants love and she gets it …..

ok that last paragraph ended up more abt hsy rather than yhk BUT!! i just love her…. (also take my words with a grain of salt. i still haven’t finished the webnovel my info is half from the source and half from reading spoilers of people sobbing and crying and also maybe a quarter of it is self projection)

in conclusion: yoohankim r idiots. they are fools, they throw caution to the wind. they lose so so much for each other. and i love them all so much.

-Toon (going to sign off on all my asks now to make things easier)

god the amount of love you put into this... thats really sweet and i love her too now.

again, idk if the person putting her down actually hates her, its hard to read intent through text, maybe they were making fun of her affectionately? it read as hatred to me hut i could be misinterpreting.

that said i adora asks like this, people just pouring their her out for the ship or character they care so much about 💖💖

[coreytravelogue]

Victoria, BC, Canada - July 30, 2022

I feel like such a hypocrite right now, or even a procrastinator. At the beginning of the year I was all about taking chances….roll the bones….get out on the road again and see new places or visit old favourites.

As of right now the only trips I have made were in the first 4 months of the year and neither were places that are very exciting. Not like the trips to Toronto, Whitehorse, Fort Mac and Australia of yester year. I made one long weekend trip in January to Victoria and spent my April long weekend in Edmonton. Yeah not very exciting eh? Today I am making my second trek to Victoria. Will more than likely go again 2-3 more times before the year is over.

I love Victoria but I can’t help but be disappointed in myself for not traveling more but I have my reasons. I was naive to think things would just suddenly start to get back to normal this year and while we are inching closer to normalcy I feels as though certain things have just gotten worse or just gotten more unreasonably expensive.

Travel has gotten more expensive to where I had to use my air miles just to fly to Edmonton. It’s about 50-100 bucks more to fly now to fly to Edmonton even. Not counting most airports seem to have become a shit show with airports especially the one I hate the most Pearson airport being insanely busy and ineffective. People losing baggage, flights cancelled, flights missed none that are a passenger’s fault only the airports and airlines who did not prepare properly for the return to normalcy. One can only hope that things return to normal by the time I go to Newfoundland but I have my doubts. I am only thankful my flight to Newfoundland goes through Montreal instead of the dreaded Toronto Pearson which is the worst airport in Canada right now but that doesn’t surprise me. It wasn’t well ran even before COVID. I will be returning to Vancouver through there but….again one can only hope things are not shit there like it is now.

So the airport shit show on top of how expensive things are right now has lead me to decide to just spend another year saving and biting my tongue but with inflation right now even the acting role that has me being paid more than I ever expected I could be paid right now it is still not really enough to save the way I want. I can’t help but think if I was still in the shit house I would be saving an incredible amount of money right now but my mental health would probably be worse than it already is right now and it is fairly bad. I would also probably be physically affected from the mold growth.

Even these Victoria trips I second guess myself despite it still being fairly affordable. 40 bucks for a round trip on a ferry, if I book far in advance and during the low seasons I can get my typical hostel room for 70 bucks a night though it really is just enough room to walk in and sleep. It’s still affordable for me. I question myself going because of saving money but even being on the ferry right now I feel a little bit of a weight lifted from me. I really needed to get the fuck out of Vancouver. The last 3-4 months have been very stressful and incredibly lonely for me though I won’t really be seeing or meeting anyone this week. I full expect to be alone this long weekend as I am anywhere I go ever. To expect anyone to go anywhere with me would be expecting to much at this point.

Roll the bones has been a term as well as song that has stayed with me all through the year. I definitely haven’t taken chances this year by traveling. I feel as though I have been taking chances or trying to change in other ways.

This month I decided to challenge myself to have a dry month, a month without beer during the point of the year where my favourite beer is in season, during the month where my favourite brewery is making my favourite style of beer.

While I did not accomplish my dry month completely I can say in the 29 days of July thus far I only got drunk once. That in of itself is an accomplishment though I still feel ashamed that I did it. I will more than likely drink tonight and tomorrow but I feel that through accomplishing being dry for most of this month during the hardest point I could choose I have the mental tools to be more dry than I have in the past 14 years. One could hope at least.

I am starting to redefine roll the bones in a way I don’t want to say because I don’t want to jinx it the way I have the original but also because let’s face it. I am a damned coward though so many people say I am it, that I have a strong will and strong in general. Yes I do have a strong will when I use it, I can be strong when I need to be but people really don’t see how cowardly I am at certain things but then no one sees me in general.

Either way while this BC Day long weekend is all about eating lots of French toast, buying records/cassettes, walking the only city I feel could be my home if I could afford it and just not think of life in Vancouver it is about rolling the bones again in another way. Doing nothing changes or solves nothing.

We cannot make time run backwards but we can spur it’s course forward with our own hands. Shazbot nanu nanu

[1224cm]

-

[seokjinsonlyone]

this what i think bts love language is

a/n: this just my thoughts besties i ain’t do no formal type of research or nun just let my lil imagination sprint 🥸🤪

namjoon:

physical affection/words of affirmation

okay so i said physical affection for one bc like he seem to like initiate contact with people around him a lot

like in interviews he be having his hand on whoever next to him thigh or like when he be performing if it’s someone next to him he throws his arms around them a lot

not to mention like whenever jimin or jk or whoever start feeling up on him he never rejects it or makes a face or anything like yoongi does he just accepts it

like there’s so many stage clips where jimin will come and rest his chin on joon’s shoulder and he just lets him

or jk will just start touching on him some way grabbing his arms or sumn and it doesn’t phase him at all

another example is like on day 2 of sowoozoo when tae randomly came and linked arms with him and hobi during mikrokosmos hobi was like 🥴🥴 but joon was just 😌

and then there was that magic shop muster moment when jk was talking about how much he loved joon and how he was his beginning you know as president of the joon fan club does and namjoon couldn’t help but to go over and give his number one admirer a hug you know the moment

same thing with compliments he lowkey be eating them up

like you know how whenever hobi gets complimented he be like “😶 don’t say those things” joon don’t do that

like when they was asked to take their jackets off during the butter shoot and namjoon was like yeah okay and everyone started hyping him up and he was just 💁🏼‍♂️😜

and again on day 2 sowoozoo when he pushed his hair back from his forehead and everyone went OHHHHHSWJJSJS SEXY NAMJOON and then he decided to murder us all by tilting his head back on top of that adding insult to injury i would insert the picture but for my mental health i will not

and again whenever they talk about him being such a great leader he never shies away from it doesn’t cringe always accepts it so you know it must mean a lot for him to hear those things

aside from that tho he’s such a poetic person

like he is definitely involved in an intimate affair with language so there’s no way he wouldn’t appreciate you verbally telling him how he makes you feel

like just think about how many times he’s said he wants to sit down with each army and listen to their story

that being said if this was your man i think you’d definitely have to both show and tell him how you feel

like if he was about to head out for work you definitely got to kiss him before he leaves

and if you on the phone with him the last words you’re saying are i love you

and he’s definitely gonna cherish it each time always gonna have that cute little smile dimples caved in his cheeks bc you love him and he feels it

seokjin:

acts of service/words of affirmation

alright so ngl the reason i said acts of service for seokjin is like almost 100% based on his reaction to tae setting up that birthday event for him where he had his friends send him messages

he talked about it for WEEKS like he was genuinely so moved that i just like he has to love it

and then there’s like how much he bothers jk to like do simple stuff like i’m specifically thinking about that one moment in bon voyage 4 when he was sitting down at the table and called jk to help him up

and then there’s also little things he does for others like when he peeled tae’s tangerines for him or when he offered to feed yoongi bc he was driving or how he always offers bites of his food before even gets a chance to taste it

now i say words of affirmation bc he always searching for a compliment

my minds going to when jk hurt his foot and jin was pushing him in the wheelchair and kept feeding him lines to say about how he was such a good hyung and how he loves him

or in the behind the scenes for the boy with luv video and he kept tryna get tae to compliment him for being witty

and my boy never misses a chance to introduce himself as worldwide handsome

even though he does a lot of those things jokingly there are moments when he’s serious too about giving compliments and shy when he receives them like in those be interviews when he called jk a singing genius and jungkook was talking about how he had the most range and he got all ☺️☺️

or that moment from in the soop when he was comforting yoongi about like not having regrets and when yoongi told him he wanted to be like him just those kinds of moments let me know words are important to him

which just made me remember how hard he tries with his lyrics and how important they are to him like when he was writing awake and he talked about how he kept getting rejected but he was super insistent bc it was important for him to sing the words he wrote and don’t even get me started on moon i just-

anyway jin done said many times he is a man of the present so if you’re with him you gotta actively show/tell him

if you’re at the store pick him up some gummies

if you know he’s got a long day ahead of him maybe pack him some snacks to take with him in the morning

if his hair looks nice tell him

send him messages throughout the day even if he can’t respond immediately

he claims he’s a man of the present but whenever he takes a moment to reminisce the past he’ll look back and know just how much you care about him

yoongi:

quality time/acts of service

listen as much as this man loves spending time alone the time he spends with others means a lot to him

like how he always go fishing with jin even tho he ain’t particularly fond of it

or how like in in the soop he had made plans to play games with jimin and did so extensively

also from in the soop when he had spent most of his day outside reading but then he had heard everyone starting to make the theme song and immediately ran to get his equipment to record and what not

not to mention his poem from the end of that one run episode where they went on like a mini trip or whatever and he was like “what a relief that we have seven members. what a relief that we have each other.”

like being all together is important to him

like i just think about that one scene from one of they movies ion remember which one but they were all gathered around the table and it was when he had told them how he actually hurt his shoulder and they was talking about how they was worried about jk and how he need to come out his room and it’s not even the content of the scene but just like the fact that he ain’t have to be there but he was

and also can’t neglect to mention how he whined for y e a r s about how ain’t nobody come to visit him on set when he was filming the videos for his first mixtape like mans wouldn’t let that go and then how touched he was when they made appearances on his daechwita set even if he couldn’t express it properly

and how he begged for them to make cameos in the video and how happy he was when jin and jk did

and he doesn’t ever forget to mention whenever him and hobi hang out he’s like yeah we went for a drink and dinner and talked and blah blah

he loves it when people make an effort to be around him

now acts of service i got this all on a whim okay like… listen… we all been there we have all watched an ideal type video on youtube don’t lie okay

and up there it be like he want someone to bring him food in the studio and take care of him and stuff like that and in this case the math maths

you really can see that in how he treats others

like just the other day i saw a gifset somewhere and the boys were like yeah yoongi always takes care of us he don’t make eye contact tho

not to mention how he always cooks for them when they go on trips

and even though he ain’t give seokjin his song yet we know it’s coming! eventually!

and whenever they be ganging up on jungkook yoongi always the first one to be like “stooooppp you gon make him cry”

my baby just always be doing little things for others to show he cares okay 🥺

so if you got with my baby you gotta take care of him 🥺🥺🥺

he really needs someone that understands him bc he not gonna say anything

if you’re all hanging out together make sure you’re by his side so he knows you want to be there with him

if he’s busy stuck in his studio drop by even if you just end up laying on the couch he’s gonna appreciate you just being with him

and bring food my baby getting buff he need all the veggies and protein he can get

hoseok:

receiving gifts

i really had to think about this one but once i connected the dots yeah it makes total sense

like he looooves shopping loves getting stuff so when other people give him stuff i know he just 🥰🥰🥰

hobi lights up when he gets gifts they don’t always have to be big but i know he very much appreciates them

like how in the army corner store festa video when asked to bring something meaningful to them he brought those figurines which was the first gift a fan gifted him

which makes me think about how those limited edition figurines dropped and hobi was like i need to get one for namjoon and then namjoon was like i need to get one for hobi and so they ended up with like two of them or something like that

also from festa in the little photo booth mission every time he won a prize he was like yaaasss omg and was thinking of ways to put it to use like when he got that picture frame he immediately stuck them film strips in it he probably got it hanging in his room or in his studio by now tbh

and i think it was on the canada run bts episode where jk bought him those slippers and he was super happy

even when they were in hawaii and him and jin were hungry on the bus and he asked jin for gummies like ofc jin had to get on his nerves first but when he finally gave him his snacks he went from 😐 to 😚

or how he still has that change purse that namjoon bought him in malta (probably still got the money in there too tbh)

speaking of malta got me thinking about how tae went out of his way to win hobi that flamingo bc he said he’d never seen one and when tae gave it to him he went parading it around telling everyone that tae won it for him and then said he was gonna put it in his studio

and he got that chicken leg pillow they gave him from you quiz on the couch in his studio

and i think it was from the 2020 winter package he was so happy when jin bought him those ugly little troll elf things with the hat you know what i’m talking about

and he commented like three times when jungkook drew that picture of him for his birthday

and we know mans be giving gifts too

like how he got yoongi that coffee truck on the set of daechwita

and when they were on the speak yourself tour and he went out shopping on a day off and bought jin a sweater or something

and how he slaved through like 2 or 3 lives making bracelets for the members and then gave it to them on the bang bang con live

and the most devastating one of all when they had to give each other gifts i think it was on the run episode with all the water games but i could be wrong anyway and like most of them gave each other gag gifts like their merch or whatever but hobi gave jimin (and the rest of the members) a cd for his song promise it had a little photo book in it and everything 😭😭😭

so like whoever gets with this fine specimen gon have to throw a few dollars together to make sure this man is kept

not really i’m sure he doesn’t expect you to sell your car for a gucci peacoat or your soul for a rolex

but if you did decide to save up for some time to get him a little extravagant gift i know he’d more than appreciate it

more often than not though it’d be the little things that got to him like if you bought a simple t shirt from the store but then kinda like upcycled it drew little doodles on it wrote “i’m your hope” somewhere on it there would definitely be a picture uploaded of him on weverse or twitter wearing it

or if you decided to compile the pictures of you two together into a scrapbook or something he’d keep it somewhere accessible like in a drawer in his desk in his studio and flip through it with a little smile on his face when he’s missing you

and even if it was something even smaller than that like say he mentioned in passing that like idk he was out of eggs or something and you bought him some he just might marry you

jimin:

physical affection/quality time

the first thing that comes to mind with this for jimin is how he comforts his boys

like there’s so many behind the scenes clips from tour where like jk or tae will be upset with their performance and crying and jimin would be the one to come up behind them and hug them and wipe their tears

same concept for that one moment in bon voyage 3 when they told him that tae was crying and he just kinda hugged him and wiped his tears and hovered around him to make sure he was okay

or when they left hobi at the gas station in bon voyage 4 and then went back to pick him up he still hugged hobi even as he was laughing evilly

also in bon voyage 4 when they went on that helicopter tour and they was on the mountain and him and tae tackled each other and was rolling in the snow

and he is just like always in jk arms like he just jumps on him for no reason like in that video where lee hyun is acting as one of bts’ management

also in the behind from i think when they were practicing for the 2019 bbmas i believe at some point jungkook was holding that man spinning him in circles or sumn like that

and there’s also that one comeback show when him and tae were in the comic book cafe and they were just cuddled up together looking at tae’s phone practicing english i think

and on that one joon live when him and tae crashed and just caused a whole lot of commotion i’m pretty sure at one point they were cuddled on the couch and then jimin told tae his breath stinks and tae proceeded to open his mouth over the air purifier

anyway clearly he is a man with hands

but he also is someone who loves to spend time together it’s important to him

like i just think about how when they had their “break” back in 2019 he talked about how he just traveled the entire time and he went with various friends and family

and i’m pretty sure it was bon voyage 3 when they were doing their friendship trips and trying to make fresh pairings or whatever he was like i don’t think there’s any surprising pairing with me and it’s like… that’s true

like you got minimoni, minimini, jikook etc… all tried tested and true man gets around his band

and he’s the main one who’s always like “yeah bro we should live in the dorms until we’re 50”

and he always talks about how he can’t be alone and how he’s always gotta be doing something with someone

and his lives!!! his lives!!!! when he spends time with us it’s always so intimate and personable

like you can’t tell me that i ain’t have dinner with him and jin after a show in the hotel room and we drank off camera even after the staff told us we couldn’t 😤🤚

there’s also that time he went live and someone said they had some kind of condition and then he took it upon himself to look it up and try to find treatments

just liiiike whenever he goes live every minute counts bro and yes this is me trying to summon him bc we ain’t had a solo jimin live since october and i know they super busy but i miss 😓😓😓

so for this mans i just feel like you just gotta really be with him

just like he makes every second count you have to as well

like he’s gonna want to have your full attention and you’ll definitely have his he’ll be obsessed with you tbh

however he doesn’t always have the time and his schedule definitely isn’t the most accommodating so he’s gonna want someone to put in the effort

but as long as you make sure he knows you’re all in he’ll always meet you halfway

taehyung:

words of affirmation

now this one has been stated explicitly multiple times and he’s admitted it himself

specifically during let’s bts in their segment within the segment and namjoon was like taehyung the kind of person who grows from compliments

and i ain’t even got the right words to express how i feel about the smile he couldn’t help when hobi had them all tell tae that they like him

not to mention the story he told during the festa video last year about how he always tried his very best to get hobi to praise him and how disappointed he was when hobi didn’t get it

and i may be tripping but didn’t like earlier this year he didn’t post on weverse or twitter for like a month or so because he wanted to keep seeing us say how much we miss him???

and in bon voyage season 2 when they had to write letters to each other and he wrote his to jimin and then cried when he read it

there’s also a moment in bon voyage 4 when he and rm were about to sleep in the same space and he asked joon if he could cuddle him and joon was like 🥴🤚 how bout no and tae was like you do like me right? and rm was like yeah of course but let’s not cuddle bro

also in that weverse magazine interview they did he talked about how depressed he got when they weren’t able to perform and he only felt happy for a while when he was able to communicate with us

and in turn he’s very verbally supportive as well

like at that one fan sign they was talking about bon voyage and they asked army which season they liked better 1 or 2 and someone said 1 and taehyung was like “😐 now why would you say that bc namjoon won’t even in that” even though really it was only like 1 or 2 episodes he missed out on

and like he’s always hyping seokjin up like when they were doing the map of the soul 7 comeback live and jin was talking about how he wasn’t a good dancer and taehyung was like 😡 don’t say that bc it’s not true you’re good and you always been good

and in the let’s bts thing again it was important for him to let jimin know that he likes him best like they really are best friends y’all 😭

and when he talks about how much he loves suga’s raps

and that moment in the soop when he set up a date for him and jungkook to talk out whatever tension they had or whatever

and how during those individual be interviews he had hobi flustered when he complimented his passion for music

and he always be saying like the most comforting stuff on weverse letting army know he’s there as a source of comfort at all times even when he can’t be

like this man is literally the creator of borahae meaning that we’ll love and support each other for a long time

so if you get with tae communication is key!!!

you gotta tell him how you feel about him

if you’re out and about and see something that reminds you of him? tell him. if you like his hair that day? tell him. if he does something that pisses you off? tell him. if you miss him? tell him. if you love him? tell him.

like y’all gon talk about everything and nothing at all some days you’ll be discussing aliens and parallel universes other days you’ll be like discussing the future of your relationship

and ya know he a busy man so you not always gon be having long and drawn out heart to hearts so i think he’d love it if you just sent messages throughout the day something that let him know you were thinking of him even if it’s just a picture of a possum you chased down or if you spammed him with tiktoks you thought he’d like

he’d be looking at his phone like 🥰🤳 thinking about how much he loves you

jungkook:

physical affection

now this lil menace right here is touchy

always down for a cuddle

like on the canada episode of run when they were about to pick out rooms and he was like firmly latched onto hobi on the couch while they waited

and when they were practicing home for the magic shop muster and yoongi sat in the arm chair and immediately jk sat in his lap and tae sat in his lap

or how in in the soop after they were done eating he just went and latched onto jin’s back

and how tae had went to go wake jk up that one time and they ended up falling asleep

or how jk had went to wake up jimin that one time and they ended up falling asleep

there was just a lot of jk cuddles going on in in the soop so i’ll move on

let’s talk about the pool water debate run episode where in the end jk decided to latch onto jin’s back yet again

i’ll take this moment to mention the jinkook moment that lives in my head rent free for no valid reason it’s from the life goes on countdown video where they were reading the post cards and he was wearing that big pink sweatshirt and jin was wearing that pink and black bomber jacket and jk just grabbed jin’s arm and held onto it and played with it and when he was done he just threw it away i… i think about that moment a lot there’s an entire section in both my head and heart dedicated to that moment anyway continuing on

i’ll talk about that time they were backstage for a show and they had them blow up mattresses and suga was minding his business resting and jk just rolled up and moved his legs and laid beside him and then hobi decided to pile on top

and whenever they’re on stage he’s always the most delighted when joon would suggest a hug he’d be the first one over there nose scrunched up giggling he loves it

there’s also many instances in interviews and lives where he just can’t keep him hands to himself

just like that last butter live when tae ended up with a crown of forks thanks to mr kook

and he never misses an opportunity to feel up joon

which makes me remember that time he kissed namjoon on the forehead

and he is just always carrying jimin for some reason

so in conclusion… physical affection

and if he was your mans you’d be on the frontlines of receiving all he has to give

not necessarily in public or around a lot of people but in a space where you both were comfortable yes

you’d just have to accept that when you’re standing around he’s going to give you a shoulder/neck/back massage for no particular reason

and he will latch onto you in different positions for extended periods of time

and you gotta do the same! like that’s your man! go give him a hug! a kiss! let him know you love him

cuddle up to him while y’all chilling watching tv

hold his hand while y’all talking

just like grab onto him and never let him go

he’ll be hoping you don’t

[seita]

― they take your virginity.

ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs: ʙᴀᴋᴜɢᴏᴜ, ᴛᴏᴅᴏʀᴏᴋɪ, sʜɪɴsᴏᴜ + sʜɪɴᴅᴏ.

can i request a headcanon of bakugo, todoroki, shindo and shinso taking his s/o virginity... idk if you write about virginity but I’m just soooo  curious and I like your headcanons  ─ anon

⤑ 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐝. | 𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬

»»   ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ──────  ««

i absolutely write about virginity! thank you so much, i hope you like these as well!

― katsuki bakugou.

≻ he’s definitely got some experience. ≻ he’s more of a relationship kinda guy vs a one night stand type. ≻ so when he says that he can wait for you to be ready, he rlly means it. ≻ he’s had to wait before and he’s cool with it. ≻ he doesn’t need to have sex by any means. ≻ tho it’s rlly fun and he finds it much easier to show his love and affection physically rather than verbally ≻ it’s fine. your happiness comes before his dick. ≻ so when you finally tell him you’re ready, he’s excited!! ≻ like he can finally show you what he’s been holding back. ≻ he wishes he could say he was gentle but ≻ gentle truly isn’t in his nature. ≻ he’s a rough kind of guy, it’s who he is to the core. ≻ but he makes sure you’re prepared with extra lube and everything. ≻ it may not be the soft, sweet candlelit first time girls often daydream about ≻ but it’s exhilarating and pleasurable all the same. ≻ he does his best to make sure you feel good every second of it. ≻ your pleasure comes before his and he works extra hard to make you feel good. ≻ afterwards, he makes sure to take care of you. ≻ you can give him some criticism if you’d like but he won’t particularly ask you anything beyond if you enjoyed it, if you’re okay, and if anything hurt.

― shoto todoroki.

≻ honestly it’s probably his first time as well so he’s a bit clueless. ≻ he never really dated in highschool and then when he became a pro, his schedule became so busy, he just never really got to properly date. ≻ plus there were a lot of women who just wanted the bragging rights of fucking Pro Hero Shoto. ≻ and when he rejected them, they typically bailed because they weren’t getting what they wanted. ≻ it hurt his feelings a bit but when he found you, he was amazed. ≻ you had laid it out for him that you didn’t want to have sex with him because you were a virgin. ≻ and he was more than happy to go along with it, revealing he was too. ≻ which was a shock because like ≻ top 5 hero and incredibly good looking? ≻ as a result, your relationship wasn’t built on physical intimacy beyond kissing. ≻ it wasn’t until the two of you were dating for a while that you finally came to him to let him know you were ready when he was. ≻ he was nervous, to say the least. ≻ as a result, the first time is a bit clumsy. ≻ he’ll constantly ask you if you’re okay and what he should do next ≻ you obviously know your body better than he does so he’ll touch you were you indicate you want ≻ or touch where it seems you like it the most. ≻ “right theres” or “that feels good” goes a long way with him. ≻ he’s a fast learner so by the end, he’ll already have picked up on a lot of important things for future use. ≻ he’s more concerned about you so he’ll reject anything where you offer to touch him or suck him off or anything. ≻ save that for a later date. ≻ he truly just wants to focus on you. ≻ afterwards, he’ll just hold you and silently cuddle with you. ≻ he’s a bit embarrassed and shy ≻ so wait a while before talking about it with him hehe. ≻ he’s also a little insecure, scared he didn’t do as good as he thinks he did and you were faking it or something. ≻ reassure him a bit and all will be well. ≻ he’s willing to learn everything necessary.

― hitoshi shinsou.

≻ being your first is not something he takes lightly at all. ≻ he doesn’t let it get to his head nor does he think of it as some ego boost. ≻ for him, it’s important because he knows the first time can mold your entire outlook on sex for the future. ≻ he thinks it’s sweet you’ve been saving your first time for so long. ≻ where most people lost theirs in highschool, you never fell into that trap ≻ instead, you waited for a steady relationship before deciding. ≻ and it just so happened pro hero hitoshi shinsou was The One. ≻ and he was entirely grateful that you trusted him like that. ≻ he’s sweet and slow with you definitely. ≻ he wants to make sure it feels good and intimate for you. ≻ this isn’t him fucking you to get either of you off ≻ he’s doing this to make you feel appreciated, safe, and loved ≻ after the two of you get used to having sex he’ll start bringing his normal rougher dominant side into it ≻ but the first few times are filled with hand holding, slow caresses, and deep thrusts. ≻ he makes you cum but doesn’t overstimulate you. ≻ he doesn’t want this to be a more overwhelming experience than it already is. ≻ afterwards, he’ll talk to you endlessly and provide pretty thorough aftercare ≻ he’ll take a bath with you and massage your body to ease away any aches ≻ he’ll ask what you did and didn’t like and promise not to do anything again if you didn’t like or files it away if you did like it. ≻ he’ll hold you close and give you sweet, chaste kisses while telling you how much he loves you and thanks for you trusting him.

― yo shindo.

≻ he’s had the most pussy out of all of these guys. ≻ he’s a one  night stand type of dude when he’s single. ≻ and he’s pretty hot and charasmatic. ≻ and strong. and a pro. ≻ so he’s got ladies lining up for blocks for one taste of his dick. ≻ aaaand he’s taken his fair share of virginities as well. ≻ but when he gets with you and learns how you’re just not ready at all ≻ can’t lie he’s a bit bummed ≻ and he honestly thought the relationship wouldn’t last bc he didn’t think he couldn’t live without getting his dick wet ≻ and he may be kind of a jerk but he’s not a cheater by any means so no worries there ≻ but then he realizes how much he actually really likes you ≻ to the point he doesn’t even think twice about the fact the two of you can’t have sex. ≻ but once you do let him know you want to go that final step ≻ oh boy, he is hard in his pants so fast. ≻ he’s experienced and calm. ≻ he knows what he’s doing and he’s confident as well. ≻ he’ll finger you and eat you out. ≻ he’ll draw out foreplay until you’ve cum a few times before putting his dick in. ≻ he won’t let it last too long because he knows you won’t have the stamina for it. ≻ so it’ll be over quicker than he usually is ≻ but you’re grateful bc even the foreplay wore you out. ≻ afterwards, he’s pretty lively. ≻ he’ll joke and tease you a bit ≻ but he means no harm, he’s just trying to get rid of the intense tension left behind. ≻ when you’ve fallen asleep, he’ll turn into a big softie and whisper sweet nothings that have been on his mind the entire time while you can’t hear.

»»   ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ──────  «« 

© all content belongs to seita 2020. do not modify or repost.  

[moemammon]

could i please request the obey me ! boyfies with an s/o who is like & chubby ? they get insecure about it (like being tall + chubby) and really are body-insecure to the point it’s like super frustrating too bc they want to express themselves through their outfits but absolutely hate clothes shopping and will break down bc of the amount of people, the clothing sizes, and being upset after trying things on... thank you so much!!

The Demon Bros react to a Body-Insecure GN!MC

(Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. This is something we hear all the time to the point that it almost feels dry and cliche. But! Just know that there's NOTHING wrong with the way you look, despite all the media we see centered around the world's idea of beauty. Beauty is subjective, and not eternal. Just be you. The best 'you' you can be!)

Lucifer

Do you REALLY think an age old demon would see anything wrong with what you look like? He's constantly surrounded by beauty, anyway, in the form of demons and angels alike

Besides, Luci isn't shallow enough to base his affections for you purely on how you look, so you don't even have to question that.

But he does recognize that you don't see yourself in the same like as he does, and he's so, so patient with you. After all, he can't have the love of his life doubting their self worth. The Avatar of Pride won't be having that.

Lucifer takes the time to tell you, everyday, what you mean to him. In the quiet moments when you two are alone, he'll guide your gaze to meet his own, and starts going down the list of the things that make you beautiful.

"To think you'd be self conscious about something like this.... Do you think I'd settle for anything less than perfection? Let me remind you again why I love every inch of you, MC."

Mammon

Taking up modeling gigs means Mammon's seen just about every body type under the sun, so do you seriously think he's that worried about the way you look?

He's a little slow to read the room, so it takes him a while to realize that you're self conscious. But when he tries taking you clothes shopping one day, and sees you're on the verge of tears after trying on two outfits, he gets the clue.

NOW he's being extra as hell in showing you how much he likes you. You start waking up to texts telling you how beautiful you are (with the obligatory threat that you'd better not show his brothers), he keeps putting his arm around you in public, and when he can muster up the courage, he'll even tell you in person how good you look in the outfit you're wearing.

He even starts sending you links to websites he visits to buy clothes. There's some good ones that have a wide range of customization options, and a pretty diverse size chart! It's not so bad if it's online, right?

"Anyone who's worthy of being around THE Great Mammon is worth a million grimm, understand? I don't really get all the fuss about yer body, but... I think ya look fine the way ya are. So smile a little more, alright?"

Levi

Levi can relate when it comes to body insecurities. He's a layabout, and the only exercise he gets is when he's forced to get it. He doesn't think he's much of a looker compared to his brothers, either.

So when you tell him how you feel about the way you look, he gathers up every ounce of otaku™️ strength to tell you that there's nothing wrong with your height, or weight.

He DEFINITELY values personality over looks, and even then it's not like he finds you unattractive. Seriously, he doesn't get your worries at all. Are you sure you can see properly..? They say staring at screens too long can mess up your eyesight, so maybe he should stop forcing you to watch so much tv with him?

And guess what? Levi can sew. Go ahead and bring him the clothes you wanna wear, and he'll get em fixed up for you! Or if you want something custom made, he's got you! Leave it to the master weeb and his endless cosplay knowledge! ✨

"L-Like in anime! It's boring to see the same body types all the time and it's nice when they change it up, s-so....Uh.... Anyway, I like everything about you, okay?! Your body is fine the way it is!"

Satan

According to his nerd calculations, you have no reason to be insecure.

Jokes aside, Satan listens to your concerns and handles them gently. No two people look alike and the world is full of different body types, so who's to decide what is and isn't beautiful?

As he sees it, you're healthy and happy, and isn't that all that matters? He can't take away your anxieties about shopping, but he CAN help you find things you would like to try out. He's pretty sure he has a book that teaches a spell for altering clothes in an instant....

Satan tends to think on the logical side of things, so you can trust that he isn't just saying nice things to spare your feelings. He means every word when he tells you how perfect you are in his eyes.

"Of the billions of people on earth, do you really think anyone can say what 'beauty' is? MC, you're perfect the way you are. Should I write a book about all the wonderful things I love about you?"

Asmo

If there's anyone who can appreciate all body types, it's Asmo. What can you expect from the Avatar of Lust, who's seen all there is to see? If anything, there's more for him to love~!

And his affection for your body isn't even entirely sexual. It's all about aesthetics! He loves every dip and curve of yours, from head to toe!

He knows you find it difficult to find clothes that suit you, so he's started having your clothes tailored. You're a little confused when he randomly starts taking your measurements one day-

Later, he returns to you with all those outfits you kept staring at a little too long, all tailored to your body type. Asmo has CONNECTIONS, baby. He's gonna make sure you find everything you could possibly want. He knows how crucial it is to express yourself through what you wear!

"Didn't I tell you you'd look great in that? I'm never wrong when it comes to fashion! And MC darling, you look as stunning as always! Ooh, I just love the way this accentuates your body~!"

Beel

Beel only has food on the brain, so he's the least likely to care for appearances. He loves you for your heart, because that's what matters the most to him. And when you're happy, he's happy!

He loves the look on your face when you smile at yourself in the mirror, and he wants to see that more often. So when you express your insecurities about your body, Beel has a plan of action in mind.

He hoists you up and settles you onto his bed, first grabbing your thighs, your hips, your torso, your arms, and ends all the touching by cupping your cheeks. His hands are warm with affection, and you could already feel yourself melting into his touch.

He looks you in the eye with that deadpan expression of his, pressing a soft kiss to your temple, and a potato chip to your lips.

"No matter how you look or what you wear, you're still the same MC that I love. Every part of you is just fine, so why do you worry so much about it? I'll remind you over and over if I have to."

Belphie

Um??? That means he has more to hold?? when you guys cuddle?? You're warm, you smell nice, and he loves you. Literally where is the downside to any of that???

Belphie takes your worries with a grain of salt, but he knows how insecure you are so he doesn't brush them off. He DOES however tell you that you're worrying yourself to death.

Also, do you really think a man that sleeps all the time is going to have washboard abs? Belphie definitely has a little chub here and there under those baggy ass clothes of his.

Speaking of clothes, he thinks you should just wear whatever makes you comfortable. You're wearing those clothes for yourself, aren't you? So just wear what you like.

"There you go again, talking badly about yourself. Geez.... I guess I'll just have to hold you in my arms until you realize how silly you're being. Come here."

[bendarius]

the way the initial reaction to s4 was blown to be because of brooklynn and kenji. not saying it isn’t justified as i get ppl can be uncomfortable w it, but the fact is that it wasn’t about how darius wasn’t really given the space to show emotion even as the main character. he’s the youngest and has the overwhelming pressure of being leader while dealing with loss and the season told us no he did not notice other people having nightmares implying that he doesn’t have them (they could’ve said “wait, the others are having nightmares *too*?” but they didn’t). for gods sake dreamwork’s post about “this is what a natural born leader looks like” That boy is traumatized beyond belief

why are they so afraid to show us him suffering the traumatic effects of the events that have happened so far. And anyways i started off with mentioning the fan reaction at first because when i first watched it i didn’t notice it until someone pointed it out. and man, when that was brought to my attention…the proportion of people angry over the ship vs over how darius was treated in writing. like i like camp cretaceous for diversity. i love the fact they have a black character as the main one. but they’ve been treating darius like he’s indestructible. He’s 12/13 how are you going to treat the main kid like this

1.) the responsibility of keeping 5 other people alive. he’s just a kid and even older people would have that eating away at him. did no one try and comfort darius about ben aside from yaz. no one just asking how he was doing sure they brought ben up but more as a “we all think about him” moment. knowing how critical darius is of himself why weren’t we given moments where it focused more on his guilt. we got one nightmare in the first episode and it being brought up in the reunion but…the lack of clarity we have on his feelings aside from the one-off Yeah he feels guilty okay back to survival really bugs me the more i think about it bc it clearly stuck w him enough to affect his self sacrificing mindset

2.) nearly died on the boat! he almost drowned and got eaten by a mosasaurus and i know the boat ship wrecked immediately after and they’re all “used to being at risk for death” but why did they all agree to let this kid down. no one but kenji jumping in to save him like it’s nice that they show him as not the one that always saves people but. Him being the first to ask if they’re alright when they wash up on the island. no one asking if he’s okay after suffering the water (honestly howd they all get on the island without drowning or getting eaten they were pretty far but that’s another thing).

3.) bringing up his dad only to have darius use him as a device in his lie and having kash discount that as a lie! i get that man is terrible but doing that to darius esp w us knowing he’s still grieving (cause there’s no way he’s gotten over it even if it’s been 6 months. stacked trauma on grief = Not Processed Properly!). and having darius only bring his dad up for that purpose when grief is still fresh. Man. Man i just think about it and i get pissed

4.) was held hostage by a white man. i get it. he’s bad but the amount of times darius had to appease that man made me so sick. the simple act of being held hostage is traumatizing in itself and he was with this horrible ass man who tortures dinosaurs (one of the last connections he has to his father), being watched over by robots nonstop even when he’s trying to sleep, knowing that if he makes one wrong move kash could easily decide to kill him; this emotionally volatile man, Almost having to contribute to the project before brooklynn hacked BRAD-X. it’s like they can only show him be vulnerable if he’s in physically precarious situations where his knowledge can’t save him

5.) during that part we dont see darius process the situation in his own time. sure there might’ve been a crunch where it would’ve interrupted the plot but you know what? we didn’t need all those brooklynn and kenji scenes either. s3 worked so well bc we had equal time in all the dynamics they wanted to show us and from the start of s4 that was clearly skewed (the fact that romance wasn’t ever a big factor in jwcc and just. the amt of screentime). we didn’t get to see darius being comforted by someone other than brooklynn for less than a minute about the tension between kenji and him, and we don’t even see ben and darius interact. not even through ship goggles. yaz and sammy were shown talking aside from the large chunk that brooklyn and kenji took up. Why not darius feeling distraught over how kenji is treating him. i’m just saying if there was a time issue and bc of that not being able to focus on how darius is feeling, MAKE TIME. that’s how i’d understand b/k being brought up as much as it did; bc it intrudes on darius’ time and the equal spread of dynamics. they couldve added in a moment where darius had time to himself in his designated bedroom while hostage (which we don’t get to see. why) and thinking to himself. What was he eating during his time there. all we are shown is how much he’s suffering bc of the things he’s forced to do to survive under kash but he still doesn’t break. he has to keep going

6.) i’m hoping this overt treatment was only for this season bc they did show his dad feelings (if only for a little s1-2) and his feelings of guilt toward ben (s2-3) but while this can be interpreted as him repressing his emotions for the sake of keeping the group going, we haven’t been shown that in a specific moment. this is all still speculation even as obvious as it seems to me as a viewer i’m just trying to make sense of what they’ve given us in canon. can we have darius show us how he himself is feeling without having it based off another person

the one thing i enjoyed is darius having been given space to finally have to choose between dinos and his friends. he may have had his eyes set on the obvious choice back when he was arguing with sammy about releasing that dinosaur, and i can see how he’d be stuck between the big picture of the right thing vs the local right thing (although it’s strange how thatd usually be a choice made in a healthier mindset where you’re given the space to think abt morals rather than a need to survive in which the obvious choice would be to save your friends. perhaps it can be explored as a way for darius to hold onto his sense of self/his father) but i’m glad they showed there’s not always a compromise which is what they had darius do in the past 3 seasons. that was a nice moment, i had thought….until immediately hes in the hostage situation, having to lie about his father, and deciding to stay in the hostage situation (seriously. ben and yaz the only ones logical enough to say NO to his plan…my favorite trio for real). and you know it’s nice that they gave us ben and darius’ arcs reflecting off one another, but the fact that ben feels like he progressed more than darius (from his identity confusion to finding himself, and from “i don’t want to hurt by leaving dinos behind again” to “i will open up despite the vulnerability”) having two different starts and endings…i don’t know. feels really off. technically all the kids are main characters but darius was introduced as the main main one. s3 gave us some emotional vulnerability when he was fighting to save ben, desperate not to repeat his mistakes, and this was one of the times where he gets to confide in someone (the other being sammy while he was being critical of himself before she tries to say it isn’t his fault and he immediately counters her with Get to the boat. so. not rly) and while it’s a Woo ben and darius bonding moment giving fuel to how they can understand and confide in one another, i just wish that wasn’t the only instance and we had another one where darius got to talk about his dad and all the complex feelings he must be having. it makes sense for him to repress it to keep moving forward in fear of not being able to function but that’s all speculation. as a kid whose brain is still malleable (like the others but since he’s the youngest) he should NOT be left to do this i just know he’s fighting inner demons

my point is: even if he wasn’t a COMPLETE plot device in this season like how people are saying (not complete bc as little as they were we got peeks into his psyche. Even if it was only for a minute total adding up), i totally get why they do say that because the ratio of his inner struggles vs what the show focuses on is so skewed. as the main character, shouldn’t we have more insight on how he’s feeling aside from having to speculate off things given to us in s1? and from the way the fanbase treats this boy sometimes, like multiple people saying they didn’t know that darius was the main character because of how much of the fandom is focused on other things…yeah. alright. like 2 people i saw talking abt his treatment this season whats w that. maybe this fandom treatment in itself is a sign of how much the show itself doesn’t flesh him out as much as it should, but i can easily counter that considering how much the fanbase fills in the blanks with other topics. i’m holding out for s5’s treatment in hopes they actually spend some time exploring his feelings and that this was just so they could have space to introduce elements, but it’s a flimsy hope because they had the space to explore other campers feelings and just. urghhhhhh.

[elysianslove]

Please wrote more surrogate fics please . could I request one with SakuAtsu or could you just start a series on these. If you'd me comfortable with that. That on IwaOi surrogate fic brought me so much joy. I can't even describe it.

oh my goodness i’d love to!!! it makes me so happy knowing you liked it cause like,,, idk why it’s just special to me :) also im so glad you asked for sakuatsu bc these two ships are basically my favorite jhfgbsj. and yesyes i’d love to have a mini series with like little scenarios of each ship <333

this was insanely long. like insanely. 

content warning; artificial insemination, pregnancy, haikyuu manga spoilers, gay people being happy idk 

being iwaoi’s surrogate 

BEING SAKUATSU’S SURROGATE 

↬ it took forever to even get them together, so with a duo as indecisive as them, it’s imaginable how long the decision to raise a child together took. it took a long, long while for that transition from enemies to lovers to be final, and even then, they hadn’t realized how serious their relationship was until they were off getting married and then suddenly wanting a child? 

↬ it was something atsumu brought up out of the blue, just casually as they sat side by side on the couch. “wouldn’t it be nice if we raised a child together?” and it stuck with sakusa ever since. he didn’t know why he was obsessively thinking about it as much, but it’s all he could think about. literally. anytime he so much as thought about atsumu with a child, and a child of their own too, his stomach did a thousand and one flips. sakusa was never the biggest fan of children, and he knew that neither was atsumu. but, this would be different, wouldn’t it? Still, he tried to remind himself of the cons; they were pro-athletes, they didn’t have time, they didn’t understand the weight of the responsibility, were they even ready for something like that? somedays it was too tiring to take care of themselves, of each other. were they ready to be responsible for a whole life, someone dependent entirely on them? it seemed too— unrealistic. like something he could only hope to dream about, and just dream about.

↬ until he thought of atsumu with a little kid, a spit image of either one of them, sitting on his lap, giggling and laughing and squealing in glee. and so he decided, there will always be cons, he just has to see if the pros outweighed them. and honestly, they did. they were pro-athletes, sure, but that also meant they were financially stable, and could provide for a child, properly. they were mature now, knew each other very well, and had adapted to living with one another. they had family and friends all around. the kid would for sure grow up loved and cared for, and him and atsumu would add another person to their family. it really seemed like a dream, but this time, an attainable one.

↬ so as he ate dinner with his lover, he blurted out, “let’s raise a child together,” and atsumu honest to god choked on his food. he asked sakusa if he was serious, if he meant it, if this was real, and sakusa’s answer was yes to every single one of his question. yes, he was serious; yes, he meant it; yes, this was real. as real as can be.

↬ they both already knew they wanted a surrogate, and it didn’t matter who was the father. so long as the child was theirs.

↬ finding a surrogate was, well, a pain, to put it into perspective. sakusa was so picky about the “requirements,” if you will, and atsumu was suspicious of every single woman, it was kind of ridiculous really. he just “didn’t trust that they wouldn’t run away with the baby!” in his words. atsumu suggested sakusa’s older sister, which seemed perfect in his head, but sakusa refused, claiming it was 1. extremely weird, and 2. he doubted she’d say yes, with her own life to handle.

↬ and it finally, finally, came to atsumu: he could always just ask, well, you. he had met you during his college years, and since then, he’d been coincidentally crossing paths with you ever since then, and you’d even managed their msby jackals team at some point. it was weirdly ironic how he’s coming back to you, kind of like fate.

↬ so he suggested it to sakusa, and for once, the latter didn’t really have any way to object, except, “what if this inconveniences her?” other than that, you were the perfect candidate. they knew you well, trusted you, knew they could rely on you. and atsumu was sure you wouldn’t run with the baby. with regards to the inconvenience part, well, they could always just deal with that when the time came.

↬ they invited you over for some breakfast two days later, after they’d thought about it properly, endlessly, and figured you were their best option. it was weird seeing them so nervous when you first arrived, like they were breaking up with you or something. atsumu barely ate with how nauseous he felt, and sakusa spent the entire time watching you eat instead, hands fidgeting and legs shaking. it was really weird, but you didn’t bring it up, letting them take their own time to tell you whatever it was they wanted to tell you, because obviously, they clearly had something to say.

↬ after breakfast, you sat in their living room, just watching the tv quietly, until sakusa offered to get you some water. you weren’t really thirsty, but you agreed anyways, unsurprised to see atsumu rise from his own seat a minute later with a, “be right back,” as he headed to the kitchen. you could hear them bickering and whisper-yelling, and if you weren’t starting to grow as nervous as they were, you would’ve had it in you to laugh. they returned looking like they were bearing the most daunting of news, sitting down on the couch perpendicular to you. atsumu’s hands were sweaty and intertwined tightly together, while sakusa tried to remain as composed as possible. it seemed like the dark haired man would speak up, finally, parting his mouth with a deep breath.

↬ but it’s atsumu that blurts out, “please have my baby!— our baby. please have our baby.”

↬ honestly, your first response was to laugh, in disbelief, as you clutch your glass of water. but then you see their faces — god they looked so goddamn scared — and you realized that, they were really serious. they really wanted you to carry their baby for them. holy shit?—

↬ you were mostly speechless after that, stuttering as you ask them to please explain, you’re honored but are they are, have they thought about this? properly? in depth?

↬ to your surprise, they really knew what they were doing. they’d done their research, and thought about a million other options before deciding that you were the best one. they also repeatedly told you that you didn’t have to do this, and that they didn’t want to guilt-trip you into doing it either. they wanted you to say yes only if you yourself wanted to say yes, and if this wouldn’t negatively affect you or halt your life in any way. you were the one that was going to be carrying the baby anyways, weren’t you? at the end of the day, this was all about you.

↬ you asked them for time to think about it, and reminded them that it wasn’t a no. you just wanted to make sure you were making the right decision whichever that ended up being. a few days later, you call them, asking them to meet up one way or another, and atsumu’s even more nervous than he was asking you; not even sakusa’s gentle lips to his temple or large hands soothingly rubbing at his back or his kind words could help him. sakusa himself was insanely anxious. in his head, it seemed like your ‘no,’ would finalize everything. that it would really mean no hope in having a child of their own, their very own.

↬ you invite them over to your home, and the kettle is already boiling when they arrive. you make them tea and make small talk if only to delay the inevitable. but, to each of their surprises, you take a deep breath and say, “i’d be honored to carry your baby for you,” with the brightest, warmest smile. sakusa has to bite his inner cheek to will himself to not cry, because he can’t believe you said yes. you agreed. you’re going to carry their baby. him and atsumu were having a baby.

↬ atsumu doesn’t stop himself from throwing his arms around you, collapsing on top of you in tight hug that you kind of can’t breathe, but you let him, and you laugh when he thanks you for saying yes, that he’ll “be forever in your debt.”

↬ it’s the happiest you’ve seen either of them.

↬ when you’re done with the process of insemination (of course, atsumu does joke that the three of you should go the natural way and have a threesome, to which he earns a smack from his lover and a smack from you, at the same time), the three of you just have to wait, really. it’s the longest period of waiting you’ve ever had to do, but you try to be patient, as patient as you can be. when you wake up one morning and throw up, you look at your period tracking app to see if maybe you were pms’ing. except, you weren’t. you were late. like a good three weeks late.

↬ immediately, you’re booking a doctor’s appointment. you wait to tell sakusa and atsumu after confirming your suspicions, because you don’t want to raise their hopes up for nothing. they’ve already been swimming in a pool of doubts ever since the insemination, calling you everyday to check up on you and ask for any progress. when the doctor confirms your pregnancy — holy shit you were pregnant — the first thing you do is go over to their house. you know it’s not the best idea to show up unannounced, but with how long they’ve been waiting, and how much they’ve been wanting this, the more and more you fed into it, you couldn’t wait any longer to tell them. you arrive, and the moment sakusa opens the door for you, you gasp out, “i’m pregnant.”

↬ sakusa’s quite literally frozen in shock, his mouth pressed in a thin line with eyes wide open, while atsumu walks over and goes, “oh hey,” in greeting before noticing sakusa’s face and just ???? “what’s going on?”

↬ “i’m pregnant.”

↬ “you’re what?”

↬ you show them with tears stinging your eyes the results of the test you’d taken at the doctor’s, and atsumu grips the report so tightly, like it’ll disappear if it slips only slightly from his hands. sakusa’s still in shock, trying to process everything. it takes him a good while before he can function properly again.

↬ the pregnancy itself is a lot smoother than you’d imagined. iwaizumi, as their athletic trainer, although not well versed with pregnancy, knew a lot about health and taking care of yourself in general, so he made sure you were always eating right and healthy. he even accompanied you once when sakusa and atsumu couldn’t, to the doctor, and made sure to ask him specifically what you should and shouldn’t be eating. all of the olympic/national team are more excited than anything. they’re insanely protective over you, and always pamper and care for you you when they can, whether that be back/neck/shoulder massages or giving you their food when they notice you eyeing it or letting you lean entirely on any of them for support as you walk. granted, they do make fun of you, especially the bigger your stomach got, but they mean well, really. suna once made fun of you and, because of the hormones, and because he was genuinely just mean, you started to cry. since then, suna swore off bullying you, at least until you gave birth.

↬ osamu is beyond ecstatic to become an uncle. he’s so excited it makes atsumu incredibly emotional. he goes with his brother on trips to ikea to buy a crib and gifts him an insane amount of baby clothes and always begins a conversation with, “how’s the baby?” every time you’re around, osamu’s hand can be found resting on your stomach, soothingly rubbing, excitedly grinning when he feels a kick. he is just so happy for his brother, he could cry.

↬ you ask them if they want a gender reveal when you find out or to keep it until the delivery of the baby, but they’re both insanely impatient (even though sakusa does try to convince atsumu to wait because it’ll be exciting, he himself isn’t even that convinced of that and they just ask you to tell them). with the help of osamu and his and atsumu’s parents, you organize a gender reveal party. the moment he sees the pink smoke, atsumu cheers so loudly it makes you laugh till your stomach hurt. sakusa’s grinning wider than you’ve ever seen him, grabbing atsumu’s face and kissing him, before pulling you into a tight hug. it’s literally the cutest thing ever, everyone just cheering loudly around you and celebrating with you.

↬ when you go into labor, you’re with neither of them, but with osamu, aran, and kita. they were staying the night at a hotel since they had training away from where they lived, and you were spending the night at osamu’s because the fathers of your baby really didn’t want you to be alone so close to your due date, and who better than osamu? your water didn’t break, but you kept having contractions. you were brushing it off as normal pain at the start, but they started to get worse, and closer together in time. kita, because he’s kita, had been keeping track, and told you how far apart your contractions were. to which you went, “contractions?!”

↬ aran’s calling sakusa and atsumu as kita grabs your bag as osamu grabs his keys and helps you to his car. you really couldn’t have been around a better set of men, because they were perfectly composed the whole time, helping you breathe and stay calm by staying calm themselves, reassuring you that you didn’t need to worry and that you will get to the hospital in time. they did flinch every time you screamed or cried out in pain, but aran held your hand the entire drive there, and kita guided you to steadying yourself as osamu drove as fast as he could.

↬ the issue was with sakusa and atsumu. to say they were freaking out would be an understatement. they were positively losing it. atsumu’s anxiety was louder than sakusa’s, but the latter’s was clear as ever on his pale skin and clammy hands. they were so annoying in the delivery room, literally faring worse off than you, who was pushing a whole baby out of her body. when you finally gave birth to a healthy baby girl, atsumu sobbed and sakusa cried in his hands, so maybe it was alright after all.

↬ they literally couldn’t believe their eyes when the nurse handed you the baby and placed her on your chest. she was so, so tiny, so beautiful, and theirs. honestly, you couldn’t hold back your own tears at the sight of her, and at their reaction to her. you held her in your arms as they thanked you, over and over and over again, for the biggest blessing they could ever receive.

↬ despite the fact that you were simply their surrogate, sakusa and atsumu knew they couldn’t just separate you and your baby, and neither could they just take her home all of a sudden. so for the first few months, you stayed in their guest room, but the baby slept in her own room. it was more difficult than you expected it to be when you were leaving her to go back to your own home, but they promised you repeatedly that they’re not really taking her away. it wasn’t as if you couldn’t visit at any time you wanted to come visit her. but at the end of the day, you knew what you had been signing up for, and that she was their daughter.

↬ she grows up to be a gorgeous woman. she’s interested in volleyball, sure, she’d been raised with volleyball players everywhere around her, but it’s not her immediate passion. atsumu thought he’d be more upset about that than he actually was, because he found out that it didn’t matter at all what she wanted to do. hell, if she wanted to do nothing at all and stay home forever with them, he was 100% on board with that. whatever made her happy and healthy, he was okay with. she grows up to be really close and really comfortable with both of her fathers, and they make sure with every passing day that no matter what, she can always come to them. and she does, about every little thing. and each and every time, they listen and advice and guide her properly. a s parents, they’re a perfect balance of strict and lenient. they set and raise her to never cross those boundaries, but otherwise they give her complete freedom. they respect her privacy, her decisions, everything.

↬ there was a day when she came back home from school, and they had taken a biology class for kids, where a teacher had explained periods to them. obviously, as curious as ever, she’d asked her dads about it, because she didn’t really get it. she wanted to know the how’s and the why’s and the what’s and the when’s. with every passing second atsumu had felt his lifespan shorten. eventually he suggested they call you, who she knew as her ‘aunt’ for the time being, since you were a woman and nobody would really explain it better than you. when she did get her period eventually, and had to sheepishly and shyly ask her dads to go to the store for her because she needed, um, supplies, atsumu lost it. sakusa had to try and calm him down all while laughing as he got ready to go to the store for her, because the drama of miya atsumu never gets old. he just couldn’t believe she was already getting her period. what the hell! what the actual hell!

↬ of course, he proceeded to embarrass her by telling osamu, telling sakusa’s parents, telling his parents. not cool :(

↬ when she was old enough, especially to understand the concept of being a surrogate (oh my god the sex talk was a whole other insufferable thing), they told her about you, and that you were actually her biological mother and not just an ‘auntie.’ she tried to be angry at them for keeping it from her, but she was honestly more excited about finding out than anything. it brought the two of you closer together, and for the next mother’s day, she organized a whole brunch for you, her and her dads, got you a gift, flowers, everything. yeah, you did cry.

↬ you genuinely have never been more satisfied and thankful for a decision like this one, ever, especially because of how much of a blessing the outcome had been.

can u tell this isn’t my first time thinking about this. ever since i posted the iwaoi one i’ve been wanting to do a sakuatsu one, but i didn’t really know whether anyone had enjoyed that or would want more, so thank you for sending in this ask!! love u all mwah <3 

[samisanaveragewriter]

Tenya Iida Headcanons

okay listen, this man is slept on and i will die on this grave as an iida simp

he's really inexperienced in life

especially in relationships

honestly the version of iida we get rn is the more laid back one

in middle school he was more of a stickler for rules

after stain he kinda can't say "stick to the rules" without being hypocritical

but he still takes his duty as his class rep seriously

after stain he really wanted to give up the position of class rep

aizawa told him that he couldn't because so many people depended on him

he didn't want to do the paperwork

anyway as a general partner he's really sweet

no one really touches on this but his family is loaded

so his love languages include acts of service and gift giving

i mean he wanted to avenge his brother how more "acts of service" can you get?

the fact that he's loaded allows him to properly give gifts

he loves helping you study

and he's the one getting high end snacks for some study dates

he loves receiving physical touch tho like please hug this man he is touch starved

like yeah his family would give him affection but it was super fucking in between

since his parents wouldn't always be there bc their hero work and just general agency stuff

sometimes they would leave tenya with tensei, that's why they're so close to one another

but tensei would only give him head pats or the occasional hug

he respects your boundaries tho so at the beginning he's always asking if he can hold your hand or hug you

once your relationship progresses he'll basically treat you like a teddy bear he's had since he was a child

he's private about it tho

so expect to be mildly yeeted onto his bed for cuddle time

gETS REALLY EXCITED FOR CUDDLE TIME

he has it in his little planner too like he has to get his weekly cuddle time or else he gets cranky

one of the way he shows affection is play-wrestling with you (again, tensei's fault)

almost never arm chops around you because he's so comfortable around you

his arm chops are reserved for being flustered or in a classroom setting

his arm chops are actually tensei's fault too

one day when he was babysitting he was practicing arm signals

it just stuck with tenya since he was still impressionable

okay back to the planner point

he has two: one on his phone and one on an actual book

he likes to create his own planner spreads bc its a healthy way he can micromanage without being overbearing

actually really insecure about being overbearing towards his classmates, please let him know you appreciate him as a class rep

is a closet romantic

has read pride & prejudice multiple times because he loves the romance

tensei has a picture of 13 year old tenya dressed up as mr. darcy (will give it to you if you ask)

he still has bad days with tensei regardless of their "perfect sibling relationship" and comes to you to vent about it

sometimes vents to you about a lot of things actually bc he's never... really had someone to vent to

he only really focused on school so... he didn't really have "friends", acquaintances more like

it wasn't until UA where he got such a good group of friends

loves any and all nicknames you give him

you could legit call him sonic and he'll get all giggly bc he's YOUR sonic

mans can play the acoustic guitar (again, really romantic)

he's just a gentle giant please love him

[plan-d-to-i]

1-people forget that in the universe MXTX created it is stated that YZY's situation is not normal, it is a patriarcal society so wives don't keept their names nor do whatever the fuck they want and they certainly don't humiliate their husband without even being told off, she's uniquely horrible and JFM is uniquely spineless. i always think JFM did love and worried about WWX but that last interaction he threw him under the bus to appease JC so his last memory would cement that he did love him

2- bc he didn't have more time to keep trying to make him understand and i always wonder how things with JC could have been fixed, easiest would be having had the balls to get rid off YZY early but if he divorced her (or got her killed lol) would JC have been different? or would he resent him even more for not protecting his mother? idk i feel like JFM was cursed from the moment he accepted to marry her and i can't help feeling bad for him

LOVE THIS. So I agree w like 99.9999% only my feelings over JFM change every five minutes. I never hate him but I vacillate wildly between i feel like he could've done more and ig he was himself a trapped in that situation so it's unfair to hold him fully accountable.

Madam Yu is an undeniably violently abusive woman who has married a kind, non-confrontational man. Most of JFM's flaws are only seen as 'flaws' instead of qualities because they framed as ineffective against someone as rank as her. I wouldn't even say he's spineless, because he does cancel YanLi's engagement for fear that it will make her as unhappy as his own marriage made him & effectively stands against his wife's demand on top of also passing on a very beneficial alliance w Jin Clan. (In fact Jin GuangShan is way more reluctant at the thought of taking this news to Madam Jin.)

Abusive relationships have their own dynamics so it's hard watching from the outside how JFM's resignation to his circumstances and avoidance are ineffective against, someone like YZY who materializes like a storm cloud to rain her venom down on everyone, especially WWX. Because WWX is not only bearing the scars piled on his back from YZY's whippings/'discipline' but he's trapped in a perpetual balancing act between JFM, YZY, jc and to an extent Yanli. He has to make JFM proud/see the value in keeping him around & at least in the beginning of his stay with the Jiangs we know he always tries to eat/take less than he needs, but he can't be so good & talented that jc feels threatened or set Madam Yu off. At the same time Yanli rewards him with soup and affection when he takes the fall for jc his first day there. This definitely establishes a pattern wherein WWX sees his usefulness within the Jiang sect in diverting punishment for the failings of those around him, especially jc, to himself. She also repeatedly asks him to just accept jc’s shifty behavior as a representative of his affection... bc she's a huge fucking enabler, which probably doesn’t bode well for how she’s come to interpret affection.

As for YZY she's the only one who paints herself a victim, when it's clear she's the instigator of the conflicts!!!! She’s literally the bad guy, boss, fly in the ointment etc. There's a lot of gaslighting in her interactions with JFM so I'm confused as to why people think that of everyone she's the reliable narrator or some poor sad victim of an uninterested husband??? She clearly does as she pleases in Lotus Pier, yells at JFM in front of Servants, accuses him of fathering a child with his friend's wife, she whips the head disciple for imagined infractions with a spiritual weapon! and pretty much just chills w her ladies when she isn't busy spewing venom wherever she goes. WITH NO REPRECUSSIONS. If JFM had been a woman and YZY the man I'm sure all her cringe stans would be frothing at the mouth to drag her(yzy) to hell by the balls.

People love to accuse JFM of favoritism towards WWX or showing him more affection. To me it's clear that for JMF, WWX is simply an extension of his father/friend & ultimately a subordinate in the Jiang household. JFM clearly cares about jc, it's not his fault that jc doesn't get it, and it's not his fault that YZY is always poisoning their relationship. JFM for his part is still trying to guide jc towards how he's meant to occupy his future position as Clan leader, quite gently too considering jiang cheng was berating WWX for saving their allies... I’m sure if anything JFM hoped WWX’s morality and sense of right and wrong would rub off a bit on jc & why wouldn't you want someone immensely talented and loyal and devoted to the well being of your son and family around?? JFM did a nice thing getting WWX off the streets but that doesn’t mean he also didn’t think WWX could be a good friend to jc who when WWX is first brought to Lotus Pier has ZERO friends, and was likely to remain with zero friends considering his personality. Only someone like WWX who is forced by circumstances, & his kind nature & gratitude to the Jiangs would be in a position to befriend him. So I think it's laughable to say JFM favors WWS when WWX was the sacrificial lamb friend/pet JFM gifted his son. Not to mention that the only person who says JFM doesn't properly value jc is again YZY. Ofc jc takes to like a duck to water because he's cut from the same cloth as his rancid mother and it's much easier to blame WWX for all his failings and misfortunes than to take a good hard look at himself or ever take responsibility for anything. jc doesn't do self reflection. There isn't any scenario where jc would have been a good person. He's lacking basic human empathy. His view of the world has him as its center. He can only relate to things as they concern and affect him and he doesn't even possess a modicum of honor that might keep such selfish impulses at bay.

To conclude, I totally agree. JFM cursed himself the moment he let himself be coerced by YZY and her Clan into marrying a person whose character and values he knew ran so deeply counter to his and his Clan's own. Sure enough under the control of jiang cheng, the original spirit in which Jiang clan was established is gone. It's a place devoid of warmth that people are scared to visit lest they be confronted w the screams of people being flayed alive.

[moostaronce]

Uninterested

Request: Hey wassup may I request a Jinsoul x fem reader where the reader was super loving and caring in the relationship but they suddenly saw the "Let me introduce idols" ep 5 where Jinsoul said she likes someone who isn't really interested in her. This makes reader get hurt and act cold towards Jinsoul bc she's scared she'll leave her and Jinsoul gets confused. Angst and fluff please, thank you <3

Pairing: Jinsoul x Fem Reader

A/N I hope this is to your liking!

"Sol!"

You come bounding into your girlfriend's arms the moment you see her and she receives you with even more excitement. The usual ritual that the two of you fall into without fail. The massive hug you share is only matched by the passion in the kisses you share when you get to see each other. She doesn't complain when you come crashing into her full force or when you dote on her 24/7. In fact, Jinsoul surprises herself sometimes with how much she loves being loved by you so hard. Not once has she ever had to question your love for her, because you show it in everything you do.

When you pull back, it's just enough to look into her eyes, chin on her chest, and a smile on your face. The other BBC staff brought the girls a little late so you and the rest of the makeup and hair staff have to move quicker than usual. Luckily for you, there were only 6 out of the twelve girls today. Unfortunately for you that also meant you needed to cover 3 different faces in less time than usual, but you're a pro so it's all good. Today you came up with a plan of action to move quicker, today you were in charge of the unnie line in age order while your colleague covered Heejin, Hyejoo, and Yeojin.

"Hey to you too." Her smile gives you warmth as you completely pull away. Now that your moment was over, you put on your game face and looked around until you spotted Kahei.

"See you later babe, duty calls." You give her a pack on the cheek before making your way to a clearly tired Kahei and gently guiding her to your chair.

"Why are you two so grossly adorable?" Jinsol turns her head to see Hyejoo looking mildly disgusted before Sooyoung puts her in a headlock from behind.

"Oh don't be such a love hater Hyejoo. They're just the right amount of cute." Heejin comments before sitting in the other makeup artist's chair.

"Yeah, don't be like that to your unnie." Jinsol squishes her cheeks when Sooyoung lets her go with a flourish of laughter.

"Seriously though you guys can be a little gross, I think it's cute." Sooyoung comments.

She watches Jinsol look over at you with adoration. In her mind, there was just no reason for you to be so perfect for her. She constantly finds things to love about you like right now. The concentration that takes over your face and the sweet smile she can catch you giving her members while you do your damndest to make them look even better for the cameras, consistently reminds her of how deeply she loves you.

"She has no business being that pretty," Jinsol grumbles under her breath, but Sooyoung definitely hears it. She nudges her friend fondly and just goes off into a different conversation.

Time actually seems to fly by as you finish up Kahei, then Sooyoung. You and your co-worker go pretty much at the same pace so when Jinsol finally sits in your chair, Yeojin sits in hers at the same time. You don't speak to her right away, you just give her a small peck on the lips before you get started. Jinsol looks up at you and pouts, trying to guilt you into another kiss.

"What's the face for?" You stand back, head tilted to the side.

"You call that a kiss?" She reaches for your hips to bring you down on her lap but you gently smack her hands away with a serious expression.

"You'll get kisses after work. Right now I have a job to do so be a good girl and hold still." You turn to start grabbing the products you use for her and Jinsol has to resist the urge to protest because she knows you're right.

The entire time you do her makeup Jinsol's eyes hardly ever leave your face. Periodically, she'll pucker her lips in hopes of you giving in but you don't pay her any mind. She doesn't try to speak because of the look in your eye when she tries to flirt with you while you're working. When you finally finish and start to pack up your things Jinsol stands and pulls you into her arms. You never mind when she wants to display her affection for you, but the moment she tries to lean in you aren't having it.

"Jung Jinsol!" She startles back and loosens her grip on you just enough for you to duck out of her arms and glare at her. She looks at you dumbfounded.

"If you mess up my hard work before you even get on set, I'm not kissing you at all."

Your threat shakes her up just enough to have her sputtering but she doesn't have time to properly respond before they are called in for their interview. They have another event with the full group after this is over so you pack up your bags except for your pouch for touch-ups. For now, you just have to watch backstage with the other staff before it's time to meet up at the next location.

For the most part, you just sat and relaxed. The atmosphere was pretty chill until Jinsol said something that hurt your feelings.

"I think I like people who are not interested in me," Heejin speaks up.

"Oh, that's right!" Jinsol nods along.

"It's a little much when someone expresses interest first." Heejin continues.

"Right." You're a little shocked to see Jinsol nodding and responding in agreeance.

You've never heard her even allude to being overwhelmed by you, yet right now you're overthinking every move you've ever made. Was she just pretending to like you back this whole time? Or if not, will she grow tired of you? You shift uncomfortably in your seat and nonchalantly glance around.

No one else seems to notice your discomfort so you just sit quietly until it's time to go. When the members make their way back, you're all packed up and ready to go. Jinsol comes to you immediately, lips puckered and hands around your waist. When she leans in, all she's gets is your cheek.

Jinsol steps back and looks at you sideways but you're too busy grabbing your things to look at her.

"Baby? What's wrong?" Your girlfriend begins to worry when you don't answer or look at her. Her mind races as you leave for the next location with the other makeup artist.

"Baby?" She practically whimpers at you but you're already out of earshot. She turns around to see the others looking at her concerned. You couldn't really be mad about earlier right? She was only playing around but what else could you possibly be upset with her about?

"Maybe she's just not feeling well?" Yeojin chimes.

"Maybe." Jinsol doesn't know what else to say.

-------------------

When they arrive, you're already working on Chaewon. You're usually in charge of yyxy for ot12 events so Sooyoung and Hyejoo agree to try and figure out what's wrong with you. Jinsol on the other hand can't help the little feeling of jealousy growing inside of her while you giggle quietly with Chaewon. You hadn't even glanced her way when she came in but you looked up and smiled at Sooyoung and Hyejoo.

Deciding she had some time to spare before it was her to have her makeup redone, Jinsol slides up to you and asks what's wrong directly in your ear. You jump in surprise and turn your head only to realize just how close she is to your face. Seconds feel like minutes when you see her looking at your lips, and you almost kiss her. But then you remember your fears from earlier.

"Nothing, I'm fine." With that you turn back to Gowon, leaving Jinsol to pout at your side.

She leaves you alone for the rest of the day and is even more disheartened when Sooyoung and Hyejoo come back with nothing but shrugging shoulders. The hope that you'll be back to normal tomorrow stays with her but a week later and she's still confused. You never want to kiss or cuddle and when she tries you just avoid her. As a matter of fact, it feels like you're avoiding her period and it's making her upset.

It weighs on her mind until she can't take it anymore. She misses you and wants to understand how you're feeling so she calls you with a serious tone in her voice. It's not a request but a demand that you be home when she arrives at your apartment, so you are.

When she crosses the threshold you make no moves of intimacy towards her like you usually do and she huffs with frustration.

"Do you want to break up?" It's not the speech she had practiced and planned, in fact, it breaks her heart to even say. Her voice cracks but it seems to snap you out of whatever you were under.

"What? No!" Panic sets in so deeply, you feel it in your bones.

"Then why are you acting so weird Y/n? You just seem so uninterested lately." She gets worried when she sees the tears building in your eyes and the sniffles you let out.

"But I thought that's what you wanted. You said you like people that aren't interested in you, so I thought you might be getting tired of me."

At first, she's confused. When had she ever said that? It's clear that she said it because you look so sad just thinking about it. Then she thinks back to the first day you began acting differently and things start clicking into place.

"I didn't mean anything by that! I was just agreeing with Heekie because I know that's how she feels." Jinsol begins slowly closing the rather large gap of space you put between you. She moves as calmly as possible to give you time to back up if you want to, but she's really not sure her heart could take that.

"I love you and how you treat me. You have no idea how good it makes me feel when you get excited to see me. I love that you always want to show me love just like I do for you."

As she speaks and walks your head hangs low while tears spill silently down your beautiful face. When she's so close that her feet are right in front of your, Jinsol wraps you in her arms. It takes you a moment to reciprocate but you do. The hug you give back is so tight that it lets your girlfriend know very clearly how much you missed her. You're so warm that it brings tears to her eyes and soon she's crying with you.

"Please don't do this again. I thought you fell out of love with me." Jinsol's words were followed up with a gut-wrenching sobbing sound that made your own tears fall that much faster.

"I won't. I'm sorry baby." You whisper to her.

You continue to hold each other until you have just enough strength to lay down together on your futon. Jinsol is usually the big spoon but it was clear she needed to be held, so that's what you did. Before either of you know it, you're both knocked out. You're only awakened hours later by the call from Loona for Sol to come back to the dorm.

[dahlwatchesmiraculous]

Y’know.. I’m starting to think adrien would be more afraid of rejection from marinette than marinette from Adrien

We already know adrien’s definitely got feelings for marinette but is fighting them bc he doesn’t want to ruin their friendship, but I can also see him fighting his feelings for her bc he’s afraid of rejection

He definitely seems like the type to be like “how could marinette like me when there’s nothing special about me” even though he has the attention of so many people in Paris. But since marinette has proven herself to be a v genuine person compared to all those other people fawning over him, he probably feels like he could never reach her level or be as good as marinette for her to properly like him (even though they both have hearts of gold)

We have evidence of this in at least four episodes. First, Gamer, when he’s like “I’m so lame compared to you.” He’s ALREADY establishing how highly he thinks of her so early on. And in the season 2 finale when he tells her he has permission to go to her tasting but then panics bc he thinks she didn’t make enough pastries for him??? As if she didn’t include him in her definition of “everyone”?? Here he’s revealing that he feels like he’s not special enough to her. In Gorizilla, when everyone thinks she’s his girlfriend, he says it as if it’s something to be embarrassed about, almost as if he could never expect her to be comfortable or okay with dating him, and because she’s unable to articulate her actual feelings, it comes across as if his assumptions are correct, that she’d never actually want to be anything more than a friend to him. And lastly, puppeteer 2, when he gets so sad at the idea of her not liking him as a friend. Obviously this is proof in general that he really values their friendship, but when taken into consideration of his crush on her, he probably feels like if he can’t even be a good enough friend to her, then why would she like him as more than a friend?

We could also argue that when he tells plagg “she’s just a friend who loves fashion” he easily believes this bc he accepts this notion that he only has value when he’s on display (as his dad’s perfect model) and not as an actual human being, so when she says it’s only for fashion purposes it makes more sense than the possibility of this amazing girl having feelings for him. Additionally, in the same line he says “besides there’s Luka” he can accept that she’d fall for luka way more than she’d fall for him, bc he perceives luka as a much more desirable guy than adrien could ever be (despite all his qualities??? But of course he doesn’t care for his own qualities bc he feels like they’re just things that serve his dad’s image of Adrien and not who Adrien really is inside)

And on the note of Adrien‘s qualities and everyone fawning over him—he doesn’t care about those people obsessed with him bc they’re only obsessed with the person his father shaped him to be, they’re not really in love with the person Adrien wants to be—the real him. That’s why he’s always brushing off or disregarding people calling him amazing for his fencing or piano or languages, bc those are all things his father wanted for him and not what he wanted. So he feels like his father has crafted this image of him that everyone loves, but the real him couldn’t be worthy of any love bc his father doesn’t know/see/love that side of him. AND this could be why he’s afraid of rejection from marinette bc she especially doesn’t know who he really is, she wouldn’t think he’s as special as the boy his father has forced him to be. (This could also be why he shows some hints of jealousy in frozer and ~maybe~ desperada, bc Luka has the freedom to be himself without fear of being judged or seeming unimportant , a luxury that Adrien does not have unless he’s behind the mask)

So when it comes to him finally acknowledging his feelings for marinette, he’d probably first deny that she could ever like him bc “how could marinette ever like someone as lame as me” and then he’d convince himself that he couldn’t act on those feelings anyway without risking their friendship which he values so much. I’m also not taking any of season 4 into account (since I haven’t seen anything yet lol) so any recent updates in adrienette could affect this analysis, but I do think he’d first struggle with his feelings, grappling with the possibility that marinette has feelings for him.

And I know that marinette’s scared herself out of confessing to Adrien so many times because she’s scared of rejection, but overall I think she’d be able to handle a potential rejection more than adrien (especially bc she has a way stronger support system than he does :/), so even if she did tell him and he rejects ber, she knows that she’ll be okay and will eventually get through it. But for Adrien, he already has very little support around him, that a rejection from Marinette really could break him.

Adrien would genuinely fight his own feelings for her because he’d never be able to accept Marinette reciprocates those feelings, because he doesn’t think he’s worthy of her love (or anyone’s, really) and because he feels so unworthy of love, a rejection would reinforce that idea, and he’d rather avoid that potential reality entirely than accept his own feelings.

Okay I feel like I’ve just been repeating the same thing over and over, so I’m gonna go sit in a corner and cry for my poor boy ;-;