#bc i am judging myself

[hesitationmarx]

hey tumblr is incest acceptable if it’s between consenting adults and done without the chance of pregnancy? obv if so it depends on the degree of relation, age differences, etc, but “my friend” is rly wondering if there’s, like, thoughtful discourse on this

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[kinos-fortress-2]

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sketches....

ok maybe i am a bit insane for them

[truethes]

with it being 8pm on a sunday i've come to realise it's the perf time to really discuss my goals for the future of my blog(s). in particular, the art of communication.

something that's really come true from when i came back from my hiatus in 2020 are my views when it came down to dynamic. from going multiship with multiple versions of muses, i've found a lot more joy in writing dynamics wherein me and my partner as both shipping with one version per single canon portrayal. it's a rule i've held for a good few years now, and ultimately one i wish i wouldn't change for the world, but ultimately lately i've noticed a pattern my end in which i really want to tackle this year, which i hope will also make you guys all feel a little bit more love, whether we're in the middle of plotting something, having a dynamic in the works or already have dynamics on the run.

i'm going to stop worrying about being too much.

this might sound a little crazy, but i have briefly mentioned before my experience with a mutual i had in the past (pre my hiatus return in 2020) where a friend admitted they stopped talking to me because i was being too much and too fast in my replies to them in direct messages. which has haunted me in every single friendship / chat / plotting session i've had with mutuals before this year. i hold back sometimes, with a lot of art / musings / etc hidden between my aes blog and my twitter. while i don't want to come across as though i'm going to be in my mutuals dms all the time overwhelming them, i want to spend more time messaging my friends for things that made me think of them, for people i wish to plot with / am plotting with because it reminded me of our plot / dynamic etc. me being a slow writer wont change any time soon, but i really am not lying when i say i do not suffer from any kind of friendship / interest decay when i don't hear from someone after some periods of time, nor if i dont message for that time period of time - so i want to show that love a little bit more than i usually do x)

if it does get too much, please don't be afraid to let me know or take breaks. i will totally understand your decisions either way!

[teddybeartoji]

Picture cheating on gojo… 👀

How would he react/feel?… (In detail pls 🫣🙏)

i will not picture that👍👍

[icewindandboringhorror]

I've referenced before how I have a big google document to keep track of every media I've ever seen in my entire life (just for reference because I like to track everything possible lol… I am the Data Collector), but recently as I was updating it, I thought of actually evaluating them to find out random percentages (like for example, out of Total Shows Watched, what percentage did I finish vs. stop watching, what percentage did I like or dislike, etc.)...

Evaluating these things is made easier by the fact that I already place everything on each subsection of the list into 6 broad ranking categories, so I don't have to go back and guess to figure out how I feel about them or anything. The categories are: Ranking 5 - overall best* (despite some criticisms of course because I'm too much of an Analyzer to ever find anything Perfect lol) Ranking 4 - more positive than neutral, but not good enough to be 5 Ranking 3 - either the good + bad negate each other, OR it's just not memorable/interesting in any way enough to be ranked higher or lower (this is the Default category ALL things are placed in if no other rank applies) Ranking 2 - maybe a few redeemable elements but largely more negatives than positives Ranking 1 - So bad that it circles around to being fascinating to observe in some way (not necessarily Funny, or Good, but just interesting somehow) Ranking 0 - Bad in a genuinely frustrating or obnoxious manner

*("best" primarily defined here as most interesting, rather than most good in a technical sense, or some other measure. I tend to value more highly whether there's something novel or thoughtful about the worldbuilding, tone, writing, base premise, etc - than about whether it's actually executed perfectly.)

And here's the amount of shows that have so far been placed into each category -

TV shows ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 20 shows ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 28 shows ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 114 shows ~ Rank 2 (mid low) -33 shows ~ Rank 1 (low low but intriguingly so) - 14 shows ~ Rank 0 (iredeemably low) - 2 shows

This would make for a total of 211 TV shows overall. However, there are 57 shows within these list marked as "didn't finish" (typically meaning I quit on the very first or second episode - but log them still to keep a record that I at least had a brief view of them).

So my total of genuinely fully watched shows would be more 154. 211 Total, but a More Accurate Total of 154.

Counting them all and using the Total Number Of The List (211) -- that means roughly 9.5% of all total shows I have ever watched (or at least attempted to watch) have been Mostly Good, 13% have been Moderately Okay, 54% have been either entirely Forgettable or some mix of good + bad that lands them right in the Neutral Middle, 15.6% have been Mostly Bad, 6.6% have been Bad (but in an interesting way), and 0.9% have been Terribly Bad.

Additionally, I didn't even get past the first two episodes of about 27% of the total.

Sooo, discounting ones I didn't finish, my total TV shows ever watched in my life would be about 154 (maybe give or take a few, assuming I might have forgotten some from very long ago).

But instead of entire life, let's just say this is the total for 'About 20 Years' (so, not counting very early childhood when I likely wouldn't remember things I saw/have no detailed recollection of them (like for example, I'm sure at some point when I was like 4yrs old I must have seen an episode of Spongebob or something, but I have zero distinct memories of it, can't quote anything of it, and barely recall the premise - so I don't count it on the list, etc.)).

In that case, 154 divided by 20 would be roughly 7.7 shows a year.

Which is actually surprisingly low considering that I often have stuff on in the background for hours whilst I make sculptures and do costumes and stuff (maybe I should have also marked some distinction between 'things I fully paid attention to' and 'things I kind of half listened to whilst sculpting', but that would further split the categories too much probably lol), but I guess a lot of that is youtube videos or random documentaries, so .. eh.. maybe I get it being lower.

Now, doing the same thing for movies-

Movies ~ Rank 5 (highest) - 4 movies (3.4% of total) ~ Rank 4 (mid-high) - 12 movies (10.3% of total) ~ Rank 3 (neutral/default/meh) - 91 movies (78.4% of total) ~ Rank 2 (mid low) - 8 movies (6.8% of total) ~ Rank 1 (low but interesting) - 1 movie (0.8% of total) ~ Rank 0 (irredeemably low) - none in this category (0%)

That makes 116 for a Total (Actually Remembered) Movies Watched In Lifetime (Or At Least In 20 Years).

116 divided by 20 is roughly 5 or 6 movies a year (I feel this has probably been skewed though by adding everything since like elementary school onwards, as I remember a lot more movies from child/teen years.. Whereas, the past 3 years I feel like I've barely seen maybe even 5 movies?? lol). I also have "Didn't Finish" marked on 18 of them. Which means I quit halfway through about 15% of the total movies.

So, a for broader summary stuff..

I seem to be less forgiving to movies than tv shows, by far. Which makes sense to me, I guess, because I love elaboration and details, so "short form" things that only last an hour or two are often lost on me a bit. My biggest complaint with movies is indeed usually walking away just wishing there had been more exposition, more scenes where characters are doing nothing, more "mindless bantering" conversations, more Quiet Downtime and Lore Elaboration and so on lol, so... of course most 1-2hr films end up feeling a bit Not Enough To Draw My Interest/Nothingy to me.

If you count 5 and 4 as "like" and rankings 2 to 0 as "dislike", then for TV shows I at least somewhat liked 48 of them, and at least somewhat disliked 47 of them.. So it's almost exactly the same lol. I'm just about equally as likely to find something bad as I am to find something redeeming about it. But overall, the largest chance is that I just won't really care much for it at all and it will be tossed into the 'neutral' pile, forgotten forever. Movies have a bit better of a balance, "liking" 16 of them, and "disliking" only 9 of them. So I'm slightly more likely to enjoy a movie than to find it annoying - though still VASTLY more likely to just not find it anything in particular, possibly not even finishing it.

ANYWAY.. this is vague and literally pointless, but like I said, I just really find information fun. Like my document where I've rated every apple flavor I've ever tried (like 40 of them now?), or reviewed every oreo flavor (32?), or ranking data from my entire 10 years of Trying To Make Friends process (out of 100 people, roughly 8% chance of a moderate compatibility, 3% chance of high), or etc. etc.. I love to have random pointless things to analyze I suppose lol.

I doubt anyone tracks things in their life in this same exact way, but I'd be interested in hearing any at least somewhat similar data !!! (like, how many TV shows you watch a year on average, and what percentage of those you like vs. dislike (if you keep track of that sort of thing), etc.)). I guess it might be easier with movies, since I think some people use those websites where you curate a list of movies you've seen and you can rate them or something, so maybe the numbers are already available on those places. :0

[universalsatan]

okay like. i haven’t read a lot. crippling undiagnosed adhd and probably memory issues have kept me from consuming books since like elementary school. i probably finished one assigned novel in high school and i finally finished a whole novel for fun last year. i’m churning through moby dick slowly atm, but as a decent editor and writer and hence someone associated with the writing community and seeing those booktok recs or whatever…

girl tell me why the first book i open. starts with a fucking. spotify playlist. like, i was Aware that these books were wattpad-level. but i didnt think it was THAT wattpad holy shit

[imaginethathaikyuu]

because im curious

[theflyingfeeling]

I hate it here sm

[nylongenesis]

Im just rambling my heart out rn bc im like this but listen hear me out. I think Tim is aromantic. hot take I know but as an aro person maybe its just me but I see a lot of myself in his flirty chatter and playful gestures. In my head he does it as affection, as a way to stretch his wings and engage in a bit of fun banter, and of course, to get what he needs. I inherently see his tendency to draw the eye of people in order to obtain information as a gesture rather detached from the inherent concept of romanticism. it displays a nature in which one understands romance and appeal on a surface level, but does not feel it themselves. I think he likes traditionally romantic stuff. He calls himself a hopeless romantic. He kisses his friends on the cheeks and he treats Sasha as a lover would treat their spouse but they are not dating and both of them know this. He spends passionate nights with people and leaves feeling satisfied. But if you confessed romantic interest in him he would give you a horrifically awkward, apologetic look and let you down easy. I think he was devastated by the realization in his youth. I think beneath all his affection and smiles and toying remarks he knows he will never truly be able to have the romantic relationship he always dreamed of having, because what he desires simply does not exist. I think he indulges in the little things- passing glances, playful flirts, romantic comedies, nights on the town, to taste what he cannot have- and even moreso, to enjoy what he *can* have. To enjoy the fact he can do so comfortably, openly, without concern for what it may look like or if it's really romantic or not. Perhaps he has grown to be happy with the way he lives. Perhaps he is content to be in his lovely queerplatonic relationship. Perhaps he distantly wishes he could be a better partner because he knows he will never meet the standard. I think he loves so strongly, so powerfully, that it simply is not something that could fall into romance. It just isn't. But he loves all the same. He loves so passionately, like a fire, but it is not romance. it is simply love. Tl;dr personal hc is that tim is romance-positive aro (unless it comes to romance aimed at him) and is bisexual. Bc we need more alloaro rep. and more romance-positive aro rep. And i see myself in him.

[fridayyy-13th]

just wrote a poem about platonic love and amatonormativity and turned it in for an assignment. the metaphor i used could not be more straightforward. let's see how it gets misconstrued in class tomorrow.

[noirandchocolate]

Judges keep asking for my phone number so they can hit me up and access my largehuge brains and writing skills. This is the second time in a damn month that I've been asked to come to oral argument on a case and then advise the panel afterward/help with their opinion. I have! Made a name for myself!

[angelstrawbabie420]

1 epic thing my autism gave me is complete lack of shame around my interests/hobbies like obvs unless it is something bigoted ala harry potter there is nothing anyone can say that will stop me from feeling zero embarrassment from participating in it and i cannot be bothered by being told i am “cringe” like my brother in christ there are far far more important things to focus on/be aware of as a person such as not being a piece of shit so if ur issue with me is my interests i cld not care less who give a fuck. ykwim.

[crystalflygeo]

jhgfcdvgbhnjk but here's a lil thought to chuckle over, but imagine accidentally introducing li to the whole 'daddy kink' shebang when you accidentally call him that. cue him looking increasingly confused because??? did he??? misread the relationship??? ( he is confusion and panicking and questioning is existence, your honor ).

now you have to spend the next few minutes telling him that no, no this was a strictly sexytimes thing, li stop developing a crisis pls.

NO BUT LIKE THIS IS SO FUNNY SCGVASHVCJHANJK-

So like fun fact I don’t really like daddy kink, I don’t. It makes me kinda uncomfy idk why?? But when the fandom started calling Zhongli “geo daddy” from the start I jumped right in since it was funny, like it’s just a joke, right? fast forward 2 years and I can unironically call zl that what is life this man can get me into any kink is2g it has happened multiple times already //head in hands but I still very much treat it as a joke/tease?? It still gives me asdcvghbjk vibes personally?? ( I much MUCH prefer sir/lord/master ehe//SHOT) Zhongli is the exception anyway

Zhongli has you pressed on the couch, lips claiming yours passionately as you groan and try to pull him impossibly closer. Your hands finding purchase on his dark locks, your legs parting to make way for him, before rubbing one of them sensually against his side and around his hip.

His breath hitches as the heavy kiss stops for a moment. It's certainly starting to feel hot and you want all those layers off.

Your hands fumble with the intricate clasps of Zhongli's coat while his hot breath tickles at your neck. He nibbles and sucks there, effectively making harder your goal of getting his coat off, you huff frustrated.

Zhongli chuckles and pulls back a moment to discard the article of clothing himself, draping it over the back of the couch, before leaning back to pepper you with kisses and nibbles. His pelvis rubs against yours with a slow drag and you let out a breathy moan at the feel of his sizeable bulge.

"Ah! P-Please... daddy..."

The word slips out without even noticing, but what you do notice is how Zhongli stills on top of you, petrified for a few seconds.

Oh.

Oh no...

Your eyes widen a little and you blush profusely as you stare at his equally shocked expression. You really haven't talked about this, or even mentioned it before, maybe he finds it odd or uncomfortable?

He pulls back again and you barely contain a frustrated whine. Your legs still parted around his lap, splayed enticingly on the couch when in reality you wish you could just curl up into a ball, embarrassed.

"I'm- I'm sorry it just came out, I-"

"Do you... see me as a father figure, y/n?"

You almost choke.

"W-What?!"

"I'm" He coughs into his fist, a pink dust over his cheeks. "I know I'm... far older than you but..."

Oh this is not happening.

You just lie there, mouth agape, incredulous while looking at him stumble over his words.

"Have I... been misreading our relationship and your affection for me?"

He looks straight up distraught and you're not sure if you want to cry or laugh.

"Stop- No. Li." You scramble to sit up. "Listen, it's... i-it's a kink thing..." You explain, feelings your cheeks heat up.

"... an... incestuous fetish?"

You want to die.

"Zhongli!" You squeak mortified. "NO! Nothing like that, sweet Celestia!" You drag a hand down your face. Great, now both of you are looking really uncomfortable, the mood has been killed, and you actually have to explain a daddy kink to this 6000 years old God.

“I’m just not sure-”

You sputter and frantically move your hands in front of him. "Alright just- stop, stop- stop talking. Before my face gets any redder and this gets any weirder. I-I'm sorry I blurted out that one on you, alright? Now..." You inhale, oh boy here it goes. "It's... kind of a dominance thing. I like t-that you're... older, and stronger." You try to word out carefully. "So you take care of me, of my needs, and you protect me." You mumble. "S-so you're my daddy, I'm your baby. It's exciting."

He... doesn't look very convinced.

You huff.

"Alright, you know how I like it when you call me little one? When you use pet names and tell me I'm good? It's sort of like that... it's dirty talk." You bite your lip, shuffling on the couch a little restless.

Zhongli looks pensive now, a hand to his chin and his brows frowning cutely as he usually does when considering things.

Is he still overthinking things? You sigh and your shoulders and head sag in defeat.

"You know what? Please, just forget about it don't start having an existential cris-"

His hand then tips your chin up and he leans in to whisper at your ear, voice deep and velvet smooth.

"So, you want daddy to take care of you, baby?"

A shiver goes down your spine.

He pulls back and stares at you with a mix of amusement and wonder. Seemingly fascinated and proud of having gotten such a strong reaction as your entire face flushes red and you stare at him speechless.

He chuckles good-naturedly. “Like that?”

Now that's just not fair...

"Y-You can't just...!"

"Oh? Was that not-"

"Do it again."

[cukrkandl]

are there any classics (whatever your definition of that is, actually) that have strong aro/ace/queerplatonic relationship vibes?

[icewindandboringhorror]

Everytime I face a new character limit on a website that didn't have them before/used to have really long ones... AUGHHhhh the modern social media world was not made for people like me (lovers of details, rambling, elaboration, thorough explanation, and nuance)