#bc i DO want to talk to friends and interact and be social. however the horrors (chronic illness) persist

[mamawasatesttube]

i keep thinking there are people on here i would love to like. add on discord and actually talk to more. but then i think to myself well i should wait until i can get my meds so im actually feeling better and more up to being social. but at this point that's not happening for another few weeks at the least so uugghghghghhh.

[xf-cases-solved]

today we are sitting in our office at 6 in the morning thinking about...

that scene in "squeeze" that everyone knows by heart, where mulder asks scully, "do you think i'm spooky?" and it's very cute and weirdly sexually charged like all of their interactions are, but also that scene is really important to their character development actually??

this is episode three, and with the understanding that these two are unhinged and kind of speedrun the whole "i would die for you, you're everything to me, you jump i jump, etc" thing, ostensibly they're still getting to know one another, and, more importantly, mulder's still trying to gauge if scully is hashtag legit. like, his gut tells him that, yes, for some reason the fates aligned and made it so the shadow government fucked up real bad and actually sent him an ally instead of an enemy (and also she's not hard on the eyes either, just sayin'), and also she held a security operative at gunpoint for him just one episode earlier, so i think by this point he does genuinely trust that she doesn't have a secret agenda

what he is LESS certain of, however, is whether or not she is going to want to stick around once she fully understands just what a fucking bummer it is to be fox fucking mulder, resident hoover building loser. like she is this literal genius agent and medical doctor, who's professional and hot and kind, and she could easily have an extremely promising career ahead of her, and he doesn't think she understands just how detrimental it is for her to go all in with him. and this case, with these by-the-book buddies of hers, is the first time they are really facing that issue head on

going back to the aforementioned scene, mulder is testing her. through that whole bit, he's testing her. ("why didn't they ask me about the case?" "bc they're my friends and they're more comfortable with me" "why would i make them uncomfortable?" "bc of your reputation" "rEpUtAtIoN?? who has a reputation???") like he is trying SO hard to get her to stop talking around the issue and just say "they think you're a fucking freak, mulder," which ofc she won't, which is why, when she gives him the perfect set up with, "they think your theories are..." he IMMEDIATELY swoops in and asks, "spooky?"

and then he looks her in the eye and asks, "do you think i'm spooky?"

and he says it in his joking tone, but i fully believe that there is a genuineness there. he already knows before talking to colton and his cronies how the conversation is going to go, and he doesn't care, bc he doesn't care about their opinions, but he DOES care about her opinion, and i think that scares him. i think it's been a very, very long time since he last gave a shit about what someone thought of him, and he's extremely uncomfortable. i think that's why he goes so hard just seconds later with the straight faced "aliens are actually grey" thing with colton. he doesn't do it to taunt colton, or for his own amusement, but bc he wants to show scully flat out, "this is what they think of me, and this is how i am going to act in response. can you handle it? can you handle being a social pariah? or do you think i'm spooky?"

the theme comes up repeatedly in this episode, actually. he outright admits to being territorial over her, but in the same breath gives her permission to work on the case with colton instead of him, bc he KNOWS what a shit meal she's been served by the fbi, pairing them up together, but then she's like, "hmmm, idk, i think you must know more than you're saying and i wanna know what it is," and he is so delighted, bc not only does it mean that she's really committed to finding the truth, not just closing the case as fast as possible, but it also means that she's choosing him over them, and that N E V E R happens

but later in the episode he also makes the remark about how in thirty years she'll be "head of the bureau," which is another peek into his mind grapes, showing us that he's still very stuck on this idea that working with colton & friends is going to make her suddenly come to the realization of "oh wait, what am i DOING with this loser??" he's afraid of that happening, and he's afraid about the fact that he's afraid of it in the first place, and bc this is mulder and scully we're talking about, and neither of them are physically capable of saying what they're feeling, he just keeps making jokes and quips and being a dick to colton (who deserves it, but still), bc the alternative is admitting to scully, "hey, i really like your company and would kind of really very much like it if you didn't leave me for the cool kids agents," and he's not going to do that. not just bc of the vulnerability aspect, but bc he would view it as selfish, bc he fully believes that being stuck with him is bad for her (lol i wonder if that will become a theme throughout the entire series ha ha)

but anyway, turns out his worries are unfounded, bc it turns out scully will take being mrs. spooky over climbing the career ladder any day

"do you think i'm spooky?"

"no, i think you're a fucking nerd, now shut up get me my own desk. if we push them together we can play battleship, and then later we can get to know each other carnally"

or something

they're in love, your honor

this is only episode THREE

unhinged

[coolingrosa]

Need some help cuz im writing something and idk how to write Geno. Could u tell me how you write him or some tips and how he is diff from classic??? I tried writing him and he just acts like some random dude

Also hot take: Geno x Dream (btw what would be a good ship name for them)

Hey! Geno as a character is a lot more bitter and manipulative than Sans. He’s confident only because he has no reason for being shy and embarrassed when he’s lost so much hope and respect for himself. He knows he’s a “bad person”, and yet still manipulates people anyways b/c he sees no redemption for himself (pulled from his source.)

How I write the guy: I usually write Geno in ships or post save screen, when he got his happy ending and he’s on the surface. In those scenarios, I write GENO to be a lot quieter than Sans and kinda just observing everything. He doesn’t really give his input on a lot because he subconsciously doesn’t believe he’s allowed to after what he’s done (this only extends to his FAMILY. I see him the absolute opposite in relationships. Slightly emotionally abusive in those, but I purposefully pair him with characters who are equally toxic that they end up just balancing each other out. Nightmare being an example.) With strangers, I see him as closed off and very fake. Because he’s so observant, he will clock you a lot quicker than Classic, and will only step in if you interfere with his happy ending. He’s fiercely protective and will lose his goddamn MIND if one of his friends/ family gets hurt (this includes Frisk EXTRA bc he does NOT want them to ever reset). He’s kinda like Error but quiet and reserved, only being kind and soft with those he cares for and then dry and blunt to everyone else. He’s passive towards children of course, but if you’re an adult, he will full on ignore you with a blank face and hide behind Papyrus while on his phone or shove Frisk in front of him to do the talking. Because of this, he DOES tend to cling in his own way. Not because he doesn’t wanna be alone or he’s scared of losing someone, but because he does not want to deal with social situations on his own. He will not leave the house or his lab to go to the store unless he has someone that will walk with him.

When he IS forced into a position where he has to talk, he’s dry and keeps up the fakest smile ever. His laugh is literally robotic and he’s a master at making anyone around him uncomfortable enough to leave the convo on their own with how closed off he is. He, again, has no shame and will go on his phone while talking to you with one worded responses. He’s not a fun guy to try to talk to, and he doesn’t have many friends outside of his family and the monsters he knew prior bc of this. Goodluck even trying to FLIRT with him. He will never be interested. You’d have to be in the WORK.

However, in Roseverse, he doesn’t get his happy ending, so I’ll try to pull from that experience. In RoseVerse, Geno was forced into the God of Limbo role after Reaper was desperate to keep him from dying when he attempted to leave the save screen, so he’s a lot more bitter and cruel to everyone, even those he cares for. The only expeditions are Error and Fresh since Fate and Destiny attempt to shove them into a brotherly dynamic, and he pities the two bc all three are very uncomfortable with this situation. He’s kind to Error and patient with Error, but even then, he’s pretty quiet and isn’t one to smile. I think he’d act like this in the Save Screen too, minus with his interactions with Frisk where he does act kindly to them (both to manipulate them, but also bc he does have a soft spot for them)

Geno with a child or in a family dynamic would be a lot softer. In BlackCoffeeVerse, Geno and Nightmare DO have a child named Haze who he’s very gentle with. GENO is rude and blunt towards Nightmare (they love each other I swear nightmare just needs someone to put him in his place) but very soft and sweet to his child. I think any child that comes from him or is under his care would be the expecting to his rudeness and manipulative tendencies. He’d see them as all the remaining good in him, and would be determined to protect them and shield them from everything- including his own cruelty.

I’ve seen a bit of GENO and Dream flying around and I think it has so much potential! I think a good ship name for them would be Ichor, which is the golden blood of gods!

[avonne-writes]

AH i would loveee to hear ur jealous bucky headcanons (hs au) bc like u mentioned that everyone knows they're together but what about before they do! and what about new students! and in university when they're in separate schools - i think bucky would get super touchy but also i can imagine him not even picking up on it or maybe gale is the one that doesn't pick up on it idk what do you think!!!

omg and what was their conversation like when they weren't 'out' but were like talking about the idea of being out bc depending on the vibe of their school it could be a big deal or maybe not what do you think!

Thank you so much for the question! 🩷 This got long, so I'll post about the second question separately. 😊

In high school, before they come out

This is the period of peak obsession. The only thing on Bucky’s mind is Gale. They're both 15, which is a moody age anyway, and they're not very good at regulating their emotions yet, so Bucky is jealous all the time. He's by Gale's side at all times and tries to gatekeep him.

He keeps asking Gale (none too subtly) what he thinks of the other boys Gale knows. At this point in their lives, Gale loves the possessiveness, because he never really had anyone who was this interested in him. So, he always teases Bucky a little ("he's fit, I guess", "I like his jokes"), before reassuring him ("but you're fitter", "but you make me laugh the hardest") and then reaping the rewards (kisses, cuddling).

College

Bucky's jealousy is less general and more targeted by college. He’s only jealous if he feels that his position is threatened. He doesn’t try to insert himself in all of Gale's social interactions, and he’s happy that Gale makes so many new friends.

If he thinks someone doesn’t even stand a chance (like George), he’s not actively jealous. Sure, he’ll passively assert that Gale is his, but not because of that other person, just because he likes to show it in general.

If he does feel threatened though (like with Alex in the first few months), he reverts to high school behaviour but nastier. He can’t stand not being there at any event or outing if Alex is going, he keeps prodding at Gale to know what he thinks about the man, he tries to gatekeep the deeper parts of Gale from him.

However, Gale doesn’t enjoy this behaviour anymore. He pushes back, tries to discourage Bucky from coming with him or doesn’t tell him that Alex is coming and fights with him.

Later life

Bucky's jealousy becomes less about possession and more about belonging. By that I mean, he takes more into account how his jealous behaviour will make Gale feel, even at risk of letting someone get closer to Gale than he likes. He just wants Gale to be happy.

That doesn’t mean he’s not going to be sour if someone gets too close. He makes a moody comment or two, Gale asks what his problem is, and he’s mature enough now to actually say he’s jealous. Gale always reassures him (even if he actually has a reason to be jealous, like with that one guy in Switzerland 😬).

In social situations, his jealousy only comes out in him being more physically affectionate with Gale than usual and his friendliness towards the threat might be forced. But thankfully, he grows out of the gatekeeping for the most part.

[smoothiedreams]

Bakugou/kirishima headcanons time!

I have nothing to do on my miserable life so why not

[This might include some relationships each character has on their individual daily routine, friendships are real, not only ship can u believe it? I tend to forget haha]

First of all, they train together, like on gym, Bakugou enjoy hitting things with all he got but he can be real moderate when training other exercises. While he is on the treadmill kirishima is training calisthenics, and while bakugou practices boxing punches and karate moves kiri is there lifting himself on some beam.

Kirishima likes bakugou's shoulders and arms a lot, he thinks they are maily attractives. Bakugou likes kiri's chest and belly, nothing more mesmerize than his boyfriend's tummy.

They usually take combat classes with uraraka. She and kiri are gym bros, eventually sato joined them and bakugou surprisely is very calm during these times. He does his exercises alongside them but doesn't necessarily exclude himself, they are all enjoying each other's company at these times of the day.

Bakugou and Sato end up forming a light friendship, they don't talk much but share interactions related to cooking frequently.

We can't forget that Bakugou's parents work with fashion, he inevitably ended up becoming a stylish person himself without noticing. He kinda have a streetwear aesthetic, a bit gotic sometimes. Kiri however likes clothes more colorful, he is a summer boy but also has his streetwear side.

Bakugou is gay, just it, simple as can be. He is demiromantic tho. Kiri is pan/bi.

They private times aren't just penetration, they like touch, intimacy, likes kisses and just rubbing up against each other or giving a helping hand. (I feel kind of weird having thought about this but it seems like I need to highlight my thoughts in this simplistic perverted world).

Abt positions, bakugou usually is topping - not because of any strange straight gender role u might think- he just find more joy on giving pleasure for his partner, and Kirishima is always more willing to receive this adoration ( he might feel powerful for holding confidence in having this relationship with bakugou ).

Kirishima is the big spoon. He always has bakugou grapping his waist and melting into his arms as he sleep peacefully against his chest, at least this is how they start the night, bc when they wake up bakugou has Kiri sprawled out, half-thrown on top of his chest, with his face aligned in the crook of his neck, and somehow Bakugou's arm is now the boy's pillow.

Bakugou is an introvert with limited social battery so is common to see he just chilling out on the couch with jiro, each one on the phone and listening music. Sero sometimes sit with them to just vibe.

Kiri despite having the bakusquad is usually seemed hanging out with momo, asui and SHINSO. Yes, our boy gotcha friendship with him! (someday I'II dissect my thoughts and understand why I want them all to be a small group). He and momo are extroverts dragging asui and shinso tho mostly watch their interactions, that don't mean they don't talk as much as them, they just prefer to add interesting and spicy comments or facts.

Kaminari jokes on being their third wheel, he is right.

Ashido helps kiri on insecure moments, encouraging him on his relationship. She is almost the mom friend, almost.

Bakugou likes chemical. Kirishima likes biology.

Bakugo's dad and kirishima go fishing sometimes. They both are terribly distracted by any conversation.

Bakugou's mom is flustered every time kiri is eating her food bc he always is praising her cooking skills. it's usually her husband who gets all the praise because she herself recognizes that his food is amazing, so he is the one who cooks usualy on the house, but she assures to be the chef when kiri is coming.

Beginning with: kiri has two moms bc this headcanon just makes sense. The two managed to win over Bakugou with their kindness and strong morals, he is extremely more restrained around them.

How and who confessed? It will be extensive.

They are partners even before being in a romantic relationship, so it was on one day that bakugou finds out how good is to them being in such a synchrony, imagine how much more easy it would be if they were more... them BOOM! Existential crisis with a sexuality crisis that lasts two minutes for him to come to a consensus that he doesn't care about falling in love with a boy, but rather wants to have a relationship with anyone. He struggles for a week and ends up agreeing that yes, he wants to stay by shitty hair's side, so he will take it as he has been taking it, just existing. If in any parallel universe Kirishima asked him to go out with him, Bakugou could take that opportunity, but he was fine with how things were. And then he wasn't. The class had just discovered that Present Mic and Professor Aizawa were a thing and everyone was excitedly talking about how good it was to have someone to lean on and share things with in the world of pro heroes. Kirishima, mina and uraraka were talking about how much they admired their relationship, and Kirishima lets slip that it's even a little envious of them by having the courage to get deeply involved with someone. He jokingly says something like "Bakugou, can you believe it? That maybe one day someone could be my significant other like that? Being heroes and everything else we aspire to." "is to much to ask for haha." bakugou replies, "you better think of harder wishes to grant shitty hair." Mina then is like, "Don't go throwing words like this because Bakugou might take it as a challenge", uraraka adds with, "He already think its to easy." THEN some defiant and provocative instinct of bakugou is activated and all inhibitions are thrown to the air without him realizing it, "STUPID EXTRAS! being by his side is something that I am already taking first place in, it isn't even a challenge!"

Then somehow..."Would u easily turn into my boyfriend as easy as you make it seems bakugou?" - "stop saying dumb things shitty hair"- "You said it first!" - "if u wanna me to take responsability u have to take courage to ask me out" - 'but we already went out!" "..." - " WE ARE DATING" - " WE ALREADY ARE"

I know this was long and a bit confusing but I hope you enjoyed my thoughts lol

[dilucqwq]

aaaa another diluc simp <3 can I request some general dating headcanons for him pls? I just know he'd be a total sweetheart as a boyfriend ;-;

ofc <33333 i love this man sm he’s adorable

Diluc Dating Headcannons

A/N this is my first time actually doing this bc i’ve been on and off of tumblr bc of school so plz excuse any mistakes!

This man is emotionally constipated I literally can’t lie

Ofc then there is beautiful amazing radiant stunning y/n who steps into his life one day ✨✨

Probably doesn’t catch feelings right away, you’ll have to develop a friendship with him first

After that bro falls so hard for you

Like, where were you in his life before??? When did you get so damn attractive in his eyes???

He’s a demisexual

He’ll want to confess but he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship he built with you

Due to the encouragement of his friends (or peer pressuring of Kaeya and Venti) he’ll eventually confess

(i have this personal headcannon that it was on Windblume bc i find that so romantic)

When y’all start dating he’ll be super protective (bc he’s made enemies and doesn’t want them to target you)

He’ll try his best not to be overbearing tho

He still does worry a lot and will need reassurance that you will be fine

Very shy about PDA, however will interlock pinkies while walking out in public

As the relationship develops he will start to hold hands and even hug/kiss you in public (if you’re comfortable with it)

Visit him while he’s working in the tavern! He’s gonna have this grumpy face while working when he’s stressed (especially with Kaeya and Venti around) but when you walk in all tension melts away

Thinks you are an angel sent from the heavens

At home, he will want cuddles from you, he needs to de-stress after a long day

Will do his best to have dinner with you every night, and he tries to let you know if he can’t make it

Never forgets important dates. Birthday? Breakfast in bed with his schedule cleared out so y’all can spend the whole day together. Anniversary? Flowers next to your bed stand and a romantic dinner later while watching the sun set

Speaking of breakfast in bed, this man can COOK (have you seen his specialty dish? I’d eat that man’s meat 😋 )

On special occasions like those, he will want to cook, it makes it seem so special <3

Doesn’t get jealous easily except with Kaeya

Will try to communicate about this (or any issues) but this man hasn’t really had any social interaction since his father died

He’s trying bc he doesn’t want you to be upset at him and believes that y’all can talk it out

plz be patient with him :(

If you do get along with Kaeya, he will do his best to mend his relationship (My ragbros heart </3)

Whispers “I love you” into your ear in the mornings

Says it sparringly, however, so when he does say it, it feels all the more special

Will always check up you when he can

Always gives you small trinkets that reminds him of you

Never throws out any gifts you give him (you found a cecilia flower you gave him pressed in between the pages of his notebook)

Does his best to always make you smile bc he doesn’t want to see you cry

Overall he’s such a sweetheart 12/10 would recommend <333

[lunathegalacticwolf]

Random Dandy's World headcanons I have

Rodger and Teagan are Toodles' parents. However, she's adopted, which is why she often refers to them by name. (teacase aaaaaahhh)

Sprout is chubby bc yes.

Finn has a really low pain tolerance. He would cry over stubbing his toe.

Shrimpo is secretly extremely protective over Toodles. If anyone harmed her, he'd kick their ass.

Glisten is a gay uncle figure to Toodles. So is Boxten. (jewelrybox go wee)

Sprout and Cosmo have a crush on each other, and while they never made it official, they act like a couple. (fruitcake go brrr)

Shelly = Vee's pookie (hehe shellvision)

Shrimpo is extremely touch-starved, but he refuses to ask for hugs, cuddles, headpats, nose boops, kisses, etc and he hides when he has mental breakdowns or panic attacks. (angst hehe)

Tisha has OCD. If anything is out of order, she HAS to fix it.

Toodles = AUTISM

Coal is spayed, but neither she nor Pebble know that and they want to have puppies. (no, they're not related in any way. If you headcanon that they are, that's fine, but keep in mind that in my AU, they're not)

Sprout has a fluffy leaf tail that wags when he's happy. He doesn't even bother to deny it.

While Cosmo is really good at baking, he CANNOT cook actual food for the life of him. Give him a microwave pizza and he'll find a way to set it on fire. He always has to ask either Ginger or Sprout to cook for him, or he just gets take-out. How many wrong ways can you use a microwave? Cosmo's done them all.

Boxten struggles with social interactions. He never talks to anyone he doesn't know unless he absolutely has to.

Boxten has glasses. Even though he's supposed to wear them all the time, he usually only wears them when he has to read something because he thinks they make him look like a geek. (insecurity alert)

Scraps and Goob are Boxten's cousins.

Dandy has attachment issues. He gets anxious when a friend stops talking to him for too long (aka a day 💀)

Toodles is really stupidly strong despite her age.

Shrimpo claims that he hates cats, but he secretly owns one.

Boxten knows Japanese. He learned it from his oldest brother.

Boxten is also the youngest of nine brothers and sisters.

Tisha is the type of person to run herself ragged just to keep things clean and in order.

Finn is nineteen years old and he's still afraid of the dark.

Boxten can't handle chocolate very well. Ironically, he still enjoys eating it. (me lmao)

When Connie and Looey have sleepovers, Looey tries to kick Connie off the bed in his sleep.

Coal is extremely lazy. She'll stay in one spot for hours.

Pebble sees himself as being the same as wolves. The only real difference is that he has Dandy to feed him.

When Toodles is picked up, she'll screech like a pterodactyl. She hates being picked up, unless it's Rodger or Teagan.

Rodger was thought to be mute as a child due to not having a mouth, but he slowly taught himself how to talk. Due to this, his grammar isn't the best.

Dazzle is slightly shorter than Razzle, so the two of them walk a bit funny, but it doesn't cause them pain and that's all that matters.

Despite not being in Brightney's book club, Razzle does enjoy reading, but he's not the biggest fan of Dazzle's reading tastes, so it usually puts him to sleep.

Gigi teases Cosmo and Ginger by saying they're dating. (They're not though, this isn't- well, I am in Alabama, but you know what I mean!)

Rodger calls Toodles 'sunshine' bc yes.

Shrimpo is a big back. Not as much as Toodles, but he could be in his bedroom with 30 bags of chips all to himself at any time-

Toodles has a little fluffy tail and paw beans on her hands and feet because yes.

Looey's tail usually never stops wagging, so if it does, something is very wrong.

Finn used to cut his shoulders and thighs when he was younger, but he doesn't do it anymore and he's nothing but happy now. He doesn't even bother to hide his scars, since Gigi told him it's a sign he went through something tough, survived it, and came back stronger.

Rodger has a country accent bc yes.

Shrimpo likes dandelions. Even though they're technically weeds, he thinks they're beautiful and they calm him down during his mental breakdowns.

Looey identifies as non-binary. While he's okay with he/him, he prefers they/them pronouns.

Boxten likes sitting in boxes. He finds it comfortable.

Boxten and Poppy have been best friends since they were practically babies. They're inseparable.

Toodles likes to sing in the shower.

Astro writes in his diary with a glittery gel pen.

Cosmo owns and wears Hello Kitty socks, though he's embarrassed about it.

Looey tackles and wrestles people to show affection.

Connie makes Your Mom jokes.

Dazzle is really scared of dogs.

Rodger has fallen asleep when working several times. Like Tisha, he tends to run himself ragged.

Sprout won't pass up the opportunity to spend time with Cosmo, and even hides when he's sick to do it. as soon as Cosmo finds out, he's the one to take care of him until he gets better.

If you don't like the ships that I mentioned, that's totally okay! Just don't be rude about it and if you feel like they get too shoved in your face, let me know nicely and I'll take a break from posting anything ship related. ^^

[llycaons]

VS ep14/15. written as I watched 😭

ANNE! a girl character, oh boy! she seems to harbor impure thoughts of theft...oh I cannot WAIT to see how that plays out. I love her big goofy smile too hehe. I wish we had more women in this show! like. any female warriors, too. usually I feel like there's at least one...

the 'love' thing with the priest is a bit dumb imo. vikings knew what love was. like. they have family members and friends. it's kind of strange to see christianity positioned as a moral faith in comparison to the norse pagan faith, when like...we KNOW how much destruction and suffering christians and christianity has caused over the next thousand years.

it's kind of funny to hear the extremely simplistic 'if you don't obey god and jesus Just Because you will literally be tortured for eternity' because honestly that's how a lot of christians do seem to think and try to scare their kids with. so. accurate

OH HOLY SHIT.......oh. okay. yeah. yeah this show does not pull punches

going to be honest murdering an entire village in cold blood and then praying for their souls is kind of. like. offensive? hypocritical? however the villagers are also christian so um. at least there's that

I really like how anne's hands are animated - dry and cracked. she's not a wealthy young woman, or enduring this weather comfortably. also she has the exact same backstory as lin wanyue from fgep so I briefly imagined her she disguising herself as a man joining the army to murder all the danes and then marrying an english princess. I'm much more interested in her interactions with thorfinn and canute tho - just because thorfinn wants revenge on askeladd, that doesn't mean he's not complicit. and just because canute's life was theoretically at risk and he never physically hurt anyone, that doesn't mean he played no role

apparently she doesn't come back tho 😔 my kingdom for a single major female character...I miss ylva too honestly

also canute yelling at the priest for doubting god was like. buddy you are not endearing yourself to me😭 he and thorfinn truly are SO different so I'm really interested to see how their relationship develops. that line about fathers seemed to make him think - norse paganism and christianity truly do 🤝 over the patriarchy

ALSO does the priest know thors? did thors have a run-in with christians? what WAS that?

ragnar is soo funny he's such a mother hen like 'young man you need to eat vegetables' and thorfinn (poorly socialized, never talks with kids his own age, lives to kill, hasn't been parented in a decade) is like FUCK OFF I"LL EAT MEAT FOR EVERY MEAL IF I WANT TO, but then immediately caves bc he wants food and does have a job guarding this guy. ragnar is honestly very different to what you'd expect from his big tough guy design

thorfinn eating well-cooked food for the first time in ???? and clearly being genuinely emotionally touched by it and probably remembering his home and family is so. oh man he's right there isn't he. just under the surface of his aggression and antisocial behavior is that kid. he just needs a little coaxing. some unconditional affection. to stop killing people. this scene is so warm and domestic 🥺 and aw man canute being punished by his father for his hobbies...for class reasons but also it's GOTTA be for gender reasons right. like. you'd assume. and ragnar supporting and loving him...god that makes what's about to happen even worse because I did NOT see that coming at all holy shit? ALSO his DAD wanting him dead? that means thorfinn is going to have to protect him? will askeladd tell thorfinn? doubtful...man this is a complex political situation playing out huh bc askeladd wants canute in power so he can ensure the safety of wales. also another DUEL is coming up!!!! I'm sure thorfinn won't kill askeladd tho. too early. im sure askeladd has far more to do in this story before then

also thorfinn immediately holding a knife to the messenger's throat when he opens the door who's like CHILL OUT DUDE IM JUST THE MESSANGER...like LIGHTNING quick. that was real badass I did enjoy it I love speedy knife fighters hehe

[crows-of-buckets]

finally deciding to make an about me post yippee yay!!

Hi my name is Crow! Most of what I reblog is fandom stuff, and I jump between fandoms quite frequently <//3 I have a few that I tend to come back to regularly however (Somehow I manage to have a dragon age obsession at least once a year. it is very consistent)

If I don't respond to something, it is either bc 1) I genuinely don't know what to say and social interactions terrify me, 2) I was too tired to respond to something when I saw it then I promptly forgot about it or 3) got anxious and convinced myself that the person who sent it hates me or something. Deepest apologies I'm just awful at stuff like that and have pretty bad anxiety I do try though <//3

I block very very generously! If you do end up blocked by me it may not be for any actually bad reasons, you could have just worded something in a way that mildly annoyed me, please dont take offense to it lmao. Me and the block button are madly in love, and I do not hesitate to press it. This is mostly just to curate an experience that is fun for me, and also to avoid me getting overly mad about random bad takes i see. Bigotry of any kind is not tolerated and you will be blocked.

I tend to ramble on about my ocs a worrying amount. As of right now, I am rather focused on my dragon age ocs, but i also have personal ocs and ocs for other fandoms

About tagging

Generally I try to tag things appropriately, although sometimes i am not the brightest and forget. If I do that's my bad I'll normally notice before too long

I tag all my art as "#my art". If you only want my art stuff, I have an alt that is solely for reblogging all my art. That is @bucket-of-crows

My rambling tag is "#crow rambles" half the time this is me yapping about my ocs, other half is me complaining about something lmao

I tag my ocs using "oc: *oc name*" as a way to organize stuff. I also use "worldstate: *worldstate name*" for dragon age worldstates, since I have a few. Any posts I make about my ocs/oc playthroughs is tagged "#my ocs"

While I don't tend to reblog sexual stuff, anything with excessive nudity is tagged as "#nsfw" just to be on the safe side

I tag all Dragon age: The Veilguard spoilers as "#dav spoilers" I will try to keep this up for as long as I can however I have forgotten to tag it a few times. I also tag anything critical of the game as "#dav critical" Anything critical of other dragon age games / bioware as a company is typically tagged "#bioware critical" or "#da critical"

About my ocs

Im gonna ramble about my ocs a bit, so I'll put this under a cut so this doesnt look too long lmao

This is still a work in progress bc i accidentally posted it. Whoops. Anyways, this section is unfinished sorrgy

Aviae Surana

(she/her)

Aviae is my main dragon age origins oc, and I talk about her quite a bit. Shes specializes in spirit healing/arcane warrior/battle mage. Technically she also takes a little bit of levels into keeper, but I don't really consider it one of her canon class since I never use it with her like I do the others.

She romances Morrigan, and does the dark ritual with her. She puts Alistair on the throne due to her distrust of Anora. She feels guilty about it, but she would do it again in a heartbeat. Her closest friends from Origins are Zevran and Alistair, but she considers all of the people she traveled with dear friends. From the Awakening crew, Anders is practically family to her (they grew up in the Circle together, and shes always considered him like a brother), and Nathaniel becomes someone she ends up relying on. Her and Justice also get along very well, even if they butt heads on occasion.

For important decisions, she sided with the mages, made Bhelen king of Orzammar, made a truce between the Dalish and the werewolves, helped Redcliffe and saved Connor without Isolde dying. She kept Avernus alive (I'm still in the air about whether she allows him to continue his research), let the Architect live as well, and saved Amaranthine. Vigil's keep stood its ground with the upgrades she had provided it.

This is my girl! Sadly I don't have a better reference for her current canon outfit (she has an old outdated reference sheet though), so this will have to do.

In some of the older posts, I refer to her and Alistair as exes. Sadly, while this is a fascinating dynamic, it is not canon anymore. As much as I love Alistair, Aviae would not trust him enough to fall in love with him due to him having trained as a templar. Eventually they become close friends, but never more than that. She is part of my "Mage rights" Worldstate. I tag all of her posts as "oc: Aviae Surana"

Relationships with companions:

Alistair: These two. Most fucked up friendship ever happens between these two. At the start of the game, she's wary of him, due to his templar training, but the two eventually become close friends. Of course, this is completely fucked up by the Landsmeet. Aviae originally tells Anora that she will support her (this is a bold faced lie), and does NOT inform Alistair of her deceit. Then, once actually at the Landsmeet, she puts Alistair on the throne, sucessfully twisting the knife in both alistair AND anora. Two birds one stone, as they say. Trying to make up for it, she promises to help him lead, to stay by his side and advise him. This placates their relationship for a while, making them a bit less awkward around each other. However. However. Aviae lied. Well, she didn't MEAN to lie. But when the final fight is over, Aviae's mental health tanks for the worse, and she struggles coping with Morrigan leaving her. She feels guilty over being alive, all that shit yada yada. She doesn't even stay in denerim a week before she ditches and travels with Zevran (well. It was more of Zevran going "Aviae my dear friend, if you stay here it will kill you. Do you want to stab people. Would that make you feel better. Lets go stab people"). This completely shatters what little of a friendship the two had. When Awakening rolls around about three months later, their reunion is. Tense. And awkward. For everyone there. They don't properly have a conversation after this until many, many years later.

Morrigan: Ohhh these two. Now that im sitting here trying to type something up nothing is coming to me but man. They both longed for freedom most their life; Aviae from the Tower, and Morrigan from her mother. Aviae ends up with a small crush on Morrigan from the moment they meet, and it only grows as time passes. Morrigan takes a bit longer to accept her feelings, but eventually they enter a relationship. Despite the fondness they hold for each other (not that either of them are willing to say it), they argue quite a bit throughout origins. About the mages, about the elves in denerim, about the anvil. Somehow they always end up snapping at each other during this time. Despite it all, they both care so so deeply. And it terrifies both of them. They both have problems admiting how deeply they care (aviae because of growing up in the Circle, Morrigan bc of a multitude of things lmao). On the Eve of the final battle, Morrigan and Aviae do a ritual to keep her from dying. Morrigan admits she plans to leave, and Aviae is hurt beyond words. Despite this, she promises to come after her, and gives her the Warden's Oath (necklace containing blood from the joining) as a token of her love. Morrigan leaving does a number on Aviae's mental health, but the two reunite at the Eluvian and go to raise Kieran together.

Lelianna:

Sten:

Wynne: Aviae respects wynne quite a bit, but lord do these two bicker. Aviae is very anti tower, and there were many camp nights where they argued over the topic. Despite this, she did look to Wynne for guidance on many matters.

Zevran:

Oghren:

Loghain: Loghain was executed by Alistair

Anders:

Nathaniel:

Justice:

Velanna:

Sigrun:

Lucio Hawke

(he/they) (probably) (its not like hes figured it out yet lmao)

Relationships with companions:

Carver:

Bethany: Died leaving Lothering

Varric:

Aveline:

Anders:

Isabela:

Merrill:

Fenris:

Sebastian:

Tallis:

Selene Adaar

(she/her)

Relationships with companions:

Cassandra:

Varric:

Solas:

Sera:

Vivienne:

Blackwall:

Iron Bull:

Dorian:

Cole:

Lelianna:

Josephine:

Cullen:

Morrigan:

Ena de Riva

(he/him)

I WILL BE DISCUSSING VEILGUARD SPOILERS IN THE SECTION YOUVE BEEN WARNED

Relationships with Companions:

Solas: I can confidentially say that Ena hates this man with a passion. There is not a single moment where he even considers trying to redeem him. His contract was to stop the Dread Wolf. He has no intention of trusting a target; hes not THAT stupid. After Solas' trick with the blood magic is revealed, Ena is PISSED. Solas was tricked by Ena to keep the veil in tact.

Varric:

Harding:

Neve:

Bellara:

Lucanis:

Davrin:

Emmrich:

Taash:

Revari Mercar-Surana

(they/them)

Tyrian

(he/him)

Varamis

(she/her)

Other Ocs

Some ocs I either don't have a lot of content for, or dont post about enough to warrant me giving them their own section, so I'm going to put their tags down here. All posts about my ocs are tagged as "#my ocs". Some of these ocs may eventually get full sections if I get the motivation for it

Athiman Mahariel (he/him) (Dragon Age)- Morrigan romancer who made the ultimate sacrifice. Tagged as "#oc: Athiman Mahariel"

Veloura Mahariel (she/her) (Dragon Age)- Leliana romancer who got Alistair to do the dark ritual. Tagged as "#oc: Veloura Mahariel"

Viara Hawke (she/her) (Dragon Age)- Merrill romancer who sided with the mages. Tagged as "#oc: Viara Hawke"

Yvette Hawke (she/her) (Dragon Age)- Isabela romancer who sided with the mages. Tagged as "#oc: Yvette Hawke"

Zel (he/him) (Dragon Age)- Part of Selene's mercenary group. Has an au where he's Inquisitor, but that one isn't canon. Dorian romance. Tagged as "#oc: zel adaar"

Vashoth (she/her) (Dragon Age)- Part of Selene's mercenary group. Tagged as "#oc: vashoth"

Solmummer Adaar (she/her) (Dragon Age)- Josephine romancer. Tagged as "#oc: Solmummer Adaar"

Tyrian (he/him) (Pathfinder WOTR)- Tiefling, Daeran romancer, Lawful good turned Neutral good. Mystic path went from Angel to Legend path. I do actually have a lot of posts about him I just don't feel like writing a blurb about him

Uvara (she/her) (Pathfinder WOTR)- Dhampir, Arueshalae romancer, Chaotic Good, Azata. Tagged as "#oc: uvara"

Watcher Nyxtra (she/her) (Pillars of Eternity)- Pallegina romancer (the lack of a canon romance cannot stop me), tagged as "#oc: watcher nyxtra"

Arphae (she/her)

Grisvald (he/him)

Kaid (he/him)

Zayan (she/her)

[fatuismooches]

Hello Smooches

What if I appeared in your ask box with family stuff again?😘 This time my victim is Pierro (I just need to cope w/ fact that hydro men hate me and I lost 50/50 to Jean)

So to be Pierro's child there are few variants on how you appeared. Maybe you survived Khaenri'ah with him (with your other parent dying there) or he picked you up after you were abandoned (like with Kaeya) or his current lover somehow, miraculously managed to convince him to start a family. Either way - after downfall of his homeland, Pierro is extremely protective of anything, what's close to him, so while he can't stay with you for long, drowning in endless work, you're always protected. Fatuus won't dare to disobey Tsaritsa's right-hand man (bc if they do there's a certain doctor or marionette waiting for them..)

Sadly, because of their father's status, child is feared as well. Most likely they grow to be very lonely, only really interacting with some harbingers and maybe Childe's family as well, because he felt bad for them and asked Pierro's permission to let them meet his family. Your father won't show it, but he's oh so happy when you return and tell him about how nice Childe's relatives were !! And you even made friends !!

As busy as he is, Pierro tries to make time for his child. He plays chess with you and no, he doesn't lose on purpose, what makes you think that? He also reads bedtime stories for you (either if you can stay awake until he return home or you come to his office specifically with this request). He has low and raspy voice, so you fall asleep quickly. Pierro will never forget how he was reading a silly fairy tale and a fatui soldier came with report, but he didn't notice them.. Talk about awkward

Speaking of awkward situations, very rarely you can end up on harbingers' meeting, when you fall asleep in Pierro's office and he doesn't want to leave you or you came to him before meeting and refused to leave, of course promising to stay quiet (well, these adults speak of lots weird and boring stuff, according to you, so you probably fall asleep rather quickly) or something else.. Harbingers are like ?? 🤔🤨😳?? the first few times, but then they get used to it

Another random thought, but imagine smol child hiding in their father's coat. Considering how lonely they grew up, they're probably shy as well. Or they just want to warm up, because it's too cold in Snezhnaya. Then, someone makes c/n a mini version of harbinger coat..

When it comes to studying, Pierro is demanding, but not to the point of making you know everything perfectly by studying endlessly. Child ends up very knowledgeable

Pierro genuinely tries his best at fatherhood. He can come across as cold, overly busy or too demanding and to some extent it's true. However if he was a father, he'd always manage to give you all the love and time that's left in his frozen soul </3

-🥀

WE ARE READING DAD PIERRO FLUFF TODAY PART 2 😤😤❤️ What if i gave you a little kith for providing me with this lovely fluff 🥀 anon?? 🥰

Only the most qualified and strongest agents are asked to guard you, it's one of the greatest missions and honors you could be granted as a Fatuus (which is kind of funny 😭) Some of them are just confused about why they're asked to protect a mere kid but once they hear it's Pierro's kid, they're like 😨 oh! So at this point even your own protectors are scared of talking to you in fear of upsetting you, and it's very hard for a Harbinger's child to make friends in general... :( there aren't much people your age in the palace too... but of course big bro Childe saves you! The ginger has seen you around only a few times, but he can't help but feel bad. A little kid who already looks so lost and lonely, it makes him sad :( If he has to set up some playdates with you and his younger siblings, then so be it! After that, Pierro genuinely thanks Childe, because social interaction is very important for growing kids... and he loathes that he can't provide it himself.

Poor reader, they're never gonna beat their dad at chess 😭 As soon as you think you got one of his strategies figured out, he's already on to another one! I imagine you got grumpy left quite a few times 😭 Ouhhh the bedtime stories... 🥺 you come to his office with a book in hand with the biggest puppy eyes and he can't help but give in! Reader infiltrating the meetings real 😭 You wanted to learn more about your dad's work too but then it got so boring... how can he listen to these people drone on for so long?! The Harbingers don't say anything but just give Pierro a knowing look.

YES. Reader literally just pops out of Pierro's coat out of nowhere and people usually get hella spooked. And when they try to speak to you, you just slip right back into the shadows. You love your tiny coat so much, because it makes you look like your dad :3 Pierro may not be the best dad, but he's certainly not the worst... he will put in as much effort as he can and that's what counts.

[djpachipikachu]

omgomg i’m so interesting in you usagi/tmnt iteration!!!

okok first what’s like.. the starting point/inciting incident of the story if there is one?

second what are the characters personalities/inerests like?

HAIIII excitedly kicking my legs

the start of the main plot is when usagi goes back in time and is forced into the tmnt’s era of time ,,, he accidentally comes across an ancient relic in the woods with spot (these woods are made of massive ancient trees with equally expansive entangled roots , like if the ocean itself had been a forest instead of filled with water it is kinda horrifying) and it takes him and spot back to the tmnt era , before the relic itself was even created

i do plan on making a comic for this so it wont start out immediately like that but itll have some like . oneshots/episodic comics of usagi’s adventures before that happens, similar to usagi yojimbo’s way of storytelling

PERSONALITIES!!!! WEEHEEE!!!!!

usagi:

most similar to usagi yojimbo, a mature but still like . silly kinda guy ! in the usagi era he takes joy in chatting with people he meets on his travels, incredibly polite, loves to tell stories of myths and gods to children

although most of his days are spent alone with spot , his steed (spot is like horse sized)

he tends not to attach to people or things very much because he knows how easy it is to lose everything, so as much as he enjoys talking to people, he keeps his distance.

he doesnt dedicate himself to being a hero or anything … he will help if he feels people need the help but all hes really trying to do is survive on his own

hes basically like a formless side character . forced bystander in this story

its for the character development i promise

leo:

cold

hes the leader/general of an army, a bit harsh in his personality, doesnt want to be approachable or get close with anyone

hes stern and quiet and kind of a workaholic, his brothers think he needs a life outside of being a leader and Only a leader

tired ! so very tired !

a lot of shit that he internalizes

however a very strong leader and strategist, he is well trusted by those who follow him and they know that his main priority is to get everyone out Alive, more than fight for their cause

he protects fiercely , just insanely bad at showing it . the worst at social things out of all his brothers easily

forced to be an adult at a young age so he never rly got the chance to form a personality outside of his responsibilities

she likes reading in her lonesome though

raph:

PASSIONATE ! ABOUT MANY THINGS !

theyre the sibling that goes out the most and interacts with people on personal levels the most out of everyone ! they have a good rep in the general yokai public !

they do have problems with anger but a lot of the time they channel it into training newbie recruits , the main motivational speaker , they know how to encourage and pump ppl up

a bit recklessly bouncy in how they fight, imagine rottmnt mikey’s energy with mutant mayhem raph’s enjoyment of fighting

the most down to earth out of all their siblings . arguably the most mentally stable out of necessity

they love feeding pigeons and they teach lion dancing to a children’s dance group in the city !

donnie:

obnoxiously gen z . good god . insanely chronically online . most similar to mutant mayhem donnie

he doesnt go out like whatsoever Partially bc he has chronic fatigue syndrome and its easier for him to just stay home, partially bc his brothers are over protective of him and dont want him fighting in the war

so he helps from afar, piloting drones, targeting firearms into battle, building gear for everyone

he likes engaging in arguments online . most exciting thing to him . little fuckass teenager this guy

kendra is his worst online enemy and rival but also like . his only friend . rly sad . joking is his coping mechanism

he loves researching and learning things, it takes up most of his time when he finds a topic to extensivelt research and take notes on

his main interests are the usual coding, engineering, etc As well as the inner workings of mystic power

mikey:

most sociable next to raph !! a very altruistic spirit

he’s most similar to idw mikey i think , most upbeat and relaxed kinda nature !

However . he’s not at all as emotionally aware as any other iteration mikey

he’s very strong in his opinions, stubborn about being right, can very easily fall into a black and white point of view about things, its hard to get thru to him

he loves to dance the most, its how he uses his mystic power

whew okay yeah they might not be the Most accurate bc im still ironing out the main traits but here they areee

[vintagealloy925]

nerd!reiner - gn reader pt.2

some people wanted me to continue, so here it is! thank you guys for the love. pt.1 here 

the next lab, reiner tries really hard to make things normal. i mean really hard. like it is so incredibly obvious that he doesn’t know what to do, but he clearly cares.

the second he mentions some extremely obscure show that you said you liked, you knew he really was sorry. he’s just not sure how to interact with most people, so you try to be as normal as possible too.

after lab, he walks with you and tries to talk. you stop him and tell him that it’ll be okay, and you admit that you just thought he was attractive and wanted to get to know him better.

he’s stunned.

he’s not attractive? why would you say something like that? 

so he immediately assumes you mean as friends, even though he wants so much more. but you are just so beautiful, so interesting, such a lovely person, that he thinks you can do better.

but when you invite him into your dorm again, he won’t lose this opportunity. he comes in and immediately tells you what he considers to be the most embarrassing thing about himself.

“i’ve never had someone... pay attention to me before. i’m sorry if i don’t know what to do. all of the friends i have, i’ve known since i was a kid.” he says

‘he just wants to be friends’ you think to yourself. that’s fine, you suppose. maybe he already has someone special.

so the two of you just sit in your room, watching a movie. at an awkward distance apart. you don’t dare remove your eyes from the screen, but he can’t stop stealing glances at you.

every time you giggle or have some sort of reaction to the movie, he smiles. eventually, he decides to try something risky.

he does that stupid yawn and put the arm around your shoulders thing.

to his surprise, you look up at him and smile, lean into his, and kiss his hand. he thought you would push him away. you aren’t interested in him.

and you thought the same thing.

soon, you guys start talking over the movie, ignoring the epic fight scene on the screen. the conversation takes a turn, and suddenly reiner is listening to you talk about your last partner and how they were not that good to you.

on one hand, reiner wants to scream out that he could treat you better. he would buy you anything you wanted. post you on his socials every day. hold you hand everywhere he goes and never, ever, look at some other person. you are all he wants.

but he also knows that he has no idea how to act like a boyfriend. i mean, he’s never even kissed someone, much less been in a relationship.

but he is willing to try. for you.

he kisses your cheek, trying to comfort you, which leaves you both blushing and quiet.

he thinks he messed up, you can’t believe he feels the same way as you, but you know you have to do something about this.

so you kiss him.

he gets all flustered and his mind is running a mile a minute and can’t help it but to say:

“ireallylikeyouandiwantyoutobemypartnerbuti’veneverhadonebeforebutipromisei’lldomybest.”

how does he talk so fast?

but now he’s your boyfriend! and he is faithful to his promise

he got you your favorite coffee/drink the next day and brought it to you before your first class, almost making him late to his own.

the best listener in the world. like any time you want to vent or just ramble, he is all in

in your lab, he does all the hard work, not that you can’t, but he wants you to be able to relax.

you worked out today and your muscles are sore? massage time

buys you dinner at least once a week, and desserts like ice cream almost every day.

and he is trying to get better with physical affection

after the first kiss, he can’t get enough but also doesn’t know how to approach it

he will, however, not hesitate to play with your hair, no matter the length. if it’s long enough, he will braid pieces without thinking (yes he learned how to braid how bc of gabi, no he does not want to be praised for it don’t make him nervous)

he also loves cuddling together. any position is good with him. will have you sit on his lap in front of people. he does have a slight thing about claiming you as his ;)

but as time goes on, he finds so much comfort in you and your presence. you make him so happy, and he makes you happy too.

everything he does is in the hope that it will make you happy and proud

[changing-into-me]

not to sound entirely insane, but like "female socialisation" or whatever the fuck combo'd with autistic masking has shaped the way that i'm able to make friends and everything in my now adult life. the concept of female socialisation is controversial which i understand and can get behind because that isnt exactly what it was for me? it was more that for the first twelve years of my life i had the expectations of being a girl going into womanhood thrust upon me. so it's just more about having more expectations placed on the way i acted, "boys will be boys" but no that isn't very ladylike, young woman! so it was more stuff about smiling more and being more friendly and personable. but with my autism i was picking up patterns and learning how to socialise with people and how that was working for me! and it was working! in highschool everyone knew i was trans and weird so cishet guys didnt hang out with me, which i was fine with bc the guys i went to school with were disgusting.

however. after graduating everything was different. i am generally perceived as a cis man nowadays by everyone i meet which for the most part i dont really mind. im proud of being trans and try as hard as i can to signal that im trans to other queer people but thats another thing entirely. the problem with this is that i dont know how to interact with guys the way a guy does. ive found that it doesnt matter the way i interact with women, because im kind of faggy but polite so i dont have much trouble befriending women which is great, shoutout to my girls. the trouble is small social things guys do. this has been exacerbated recently for me bc ive started a new job after a year of working in one place where people kind of knew i was a little strange and i'd laid down my roots and they accepted me and it was nice. but my new workplace is a lot more male-dominated. so the guys are more comfortable being dudes and shit, but i dont know how to do that. i never learnt how to do that. and so im becoming an outsider again because i simply don't know how to act.

guys are more about stuff thats happening or stuff they're interested in and i dont have many conventional male interests like gaming, or sports. im interested in cars and starting to learn about finance but i dont have enough knowledge on those things to talk about them with guys. guys do these fucking handshakes that i dont know how to do. they all have their own different ones and expect me to know how to do all of them. the worst thing is that im just socially awkward, shy, and speak quietly. "you can't make friends with everyone pebbles!" I KNOW I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO GET ALONG WITH PEOPLE IN MY WORKPLACE 😭

[fantasticcloudcreation]

Good things:

- these pants were too tight on me last thanksgiving, tried to wear them and ended up changing bc it was uncomfy tight, however today they fit fine/almost loose in the waist even after eating so much and perfectly baggy around the thighs :) wore them all day and they're comfy and perfect :)

- I get to spend the next 3 days hanging out with my family and probably won't have any time to work on projects so I'm gonna get as far as I can with it tonight and then let it go and relax and enjoy the festivities

- thought about getting hair dye/makeup etc but haven't done any of it so I'm just gonna be regular + normal but you know what I'm still cute !!!!!

- feeling kinda anxious about this 2am start time situation but you know that's a whole week away and I don't need to worry about it yet!!! It'll be fine and I'll probably have fun with it!!!

- I helped my mom pick out a cute Christmas tree today

- I'm getting to wear all my cute winter clothes + layers + accessories while I'm here which is always fun for me

- I actually didn't gain any weight over the past 2 months (didn't lose any either but that's ok ! )

- isn't it great that my problem right now is "too much enthusiasm, not enough time" like time is relative and I can choose to make time for whatever I want to prioritize; noticing moments of stress/tension = noticing areas of life that I can choose to improve; right now I'm here and it's time to rest & relax & brainstorm for the upcoming year but for now there's no pressure, just have fun :)

- I was feeling grumpy about having to go back to Miami when I low-key just wanna stay here and make crafts all winter but now when my cousins ask what I'm up to next I've got an actual plan and a rough idea of what's going on for the next couple months

- cute neighbor boy is back in town, I should talk to him more lol. Also many cute people on this dating app if only I can handle the whole "responding to messages" thing. (I love getting high and playing around on dating apps at like midnight lol that's weirdly fun for me. ) I am breaking down my social anxiety one little interaction at a time :) also, cuties at work !!! I get to see my friends again in like a week and a half !! Last year I didn't see anyone from November - March and went into a huge spiral but this year I'm staying busy & that's so exciting!! Also cutie lover boyfriends asking me to visit them around the country and I might actually make an effort to do that this year?? We'll see lol.

- I'm in a state with recreational marijuana which means I can stop rationing this gummy stash that I got back in September lol I can just eat them and crochet all night and buy more before I head back to Florida

- yes there are things I want to change/improve about my life but realistically, this year compared to previous years, I'm in a really good spot :)

[companionwolf]

Hello all! I've consolidated the responses so far to my call for 'core selfship / ficto experiences' in relation to my 'having a f/o' solo journaling ttrpg project-- I want to let you all see what's been offered so far and also explain a bit more about what a solo journaling ttrpg is! (:

That explanation and the ideas offered below the cut, because otherwise this is a long post. For anyone this post breaks on, please forgive me.

To start, what's a ttrpg? It's short of table top role-playing game, sometimes called a physical game. If you've ever heard of Dungeons and Dragons (D&D), you know what a table top game is!

For those who haven't, table top games are basically like if you took playing pretend and gave it some rules-- or didn't. The world of TTRPG games is vast and encompasses a wide range of games from super crunchy structured rules with Lots of dice and math to games that are less than one page and super loose and free-form-- some don't even use dice!

The difference here is that most people think you need a group to play tabletop games. And if that's the experience you want, that's true. However, clever gamers have made rules and ways to play games by themselves! Some people emulate the person who runs the game using a generator, while others do games more guided by prompts. This latter one is what I'm doing-- it's called a journaling game.

Journaling games have a basic core of the idea that you / your character journals their experiences as they play (or after, if you don't want to interrupt your flow). Usually the main mechanic is generating prompts off a list using dice or card pulls, but some of these games also include mechanics like ticking boxes off, gathering resources, and making choices.

I'm still trying to figure out what mechanics I want in my game. Obviously there will prompts, but everything else I'm workshopping-- right now I've been gathering data, in the form of looking at other solo games for how they handle their gameplay. Sadly none of the things I've looked at quite fit what I want, but they're useful enough that I've began a design document.

In terms of themes - I want to touch on longing, distance, intimacy (not essentially romantic), and self love/etc. I'm also toying with the concept of a eventual expansion that allows you to play as your F/O, but I need a base game first, so that's just an idea right now.

Anyway, here's what folks have suggested as ideas so far --

- longing yearning etc

- knowing there will never be physicality / hearing their voice / etc

- loving someone you cannot touch/etc

- the self love aspect

- imagines, headcanons, etc

- interacting with f/os source

- community or lack of

- dealing with feeling shame/etc or being picked on/etc for selfshipping

- dealing with jealously/difficulty 'sharing'

- aking things related to your f/o (example: wedding albums)

- easy source eod joy and comfort

- knowing songs and art f/o would like

- finding things that are stressful LESS so because talking about it with f/o would help

- the cute guilty pride of 'I like this character' 'me too I actually self ship with them'

- having a friend who understands when no one else is around (even if they are from media)

- daydreaming

- trying to get yourself to dream about them

- always knowing exactly what to commission someone for

- spending money on f/o related things (merch, other items that remind you of them, comms)

- selfship when the relationship is something you'd never want irl

- using selfship to figure out what you want (in a relationship for example)

- social aspect (assumptions people make, the selfship community)

- dreams about your f/o

- f/os helping against self negativity

- feeling like they're present in your life (and or imagning them with you)

- feeling insecure (bc you can't get confirmation f/o returns/would return feelings)

- freedom of headcanon and making S/Is

- becoming in a way part of another world

- never lacking someone to talk to

- the painful remembrance that f/o is not real and cannot really do X for you (X = have your back, for example)

- self generated serotonin

- becoming familiar with the shape of their face

- getting your daydreaming muscles back up to strength

- analyzing songs through a new lens

- feeling both love and loneliness in the community

- writing letters to your f/o (maybe even writing some 'back' from them?")

- buying clothes to say you stole from them

- feeling your f/o loves you no matter what and will be there for you always

- gaining comfort from your f/o on bad days

- being able to tell f/o anything, from interests others may find weird to traumas and beyond

- f/o helping you overcome anxiety and boosting self esteem

- creating because of your f/o (art writing etc)

- re above: selfship as a creative outlet

- the interplay of selfship and kin

- relating something mundane to your f/o and thus it becomes special

- using your f/o to motivate yourself ('f/o would want me to take care of myself')

- self made f/os aka OC f/os rather than media ones

- seeing your f/o get bashed or misinterpred

- fear of ridicule

- daydreaming but it becomes problematic (ie it interrupts getting important tasks done etc)

[ebitenpura]

Shae and Eight are a funny pair to me bc I absolutely think Shae stomped up to the Alliance and went give me all your best warriors and every head turned to Eight in the middle of eating a sandwich who then proceeds to make this face bc he was so close to having a long break from work

Also, since Echani are historically Mandalorian rivals, I feel as if the move to take on an Echani as an ally in the middle of a Mandalorian civil war looks very controversial as if Shae is willing to use help from anyone even if it's shameful because she's so desperate to win/have overwhelming strength on her side, even if it means selling out to old enemies. Shae however, is rather contemporary, so she doesn't care about how it looks traditionally--he's one of the most skilled of their ilk, incredibly effective against other Mandos, and from the Alliance and that's all that matters to her.

Eight on the other hand, does feel a bit out of place, but he gets to make his ancestors proud and slaughter a bunch of bucketheads, so he's more than willing to finally fight an enemy that wants to die like warriors. He's not doing it out of his own interest though--Lana definitely sent him to keep an eye on those "predators" and possibly assassinate either Mandalore if needed, but that's not a high priority on his list and he deferred to Shae mostly since she made it clear she just wanted a good hunting dog to accompany her. And that's what he does best: kill who he's asked to, and protect.

Even more dog motif! Funnily enough, Vizla is the name of a bloodhound breed. So they're both just barking at each other, wolfdog and bloodhound. This is why Eight hates talking though. Every time he speaks up, someone goes "I'm not listening".

As charged as it feels to have her as his temporary leader, they work well together, especially since Eight prefers a no-nonsense make-myself-clear person of authority to just use him without frills attached. The posturing and social game of the usual Sith back home was more than a headache, and her directness makes it easier for him to not have to make decisions where they're not asked for or needed. Unlike Lana, who makes so much effort to try to appeal to him that it annoys him that she'd pretend to be his friend instead of getting to the point. Which isn't her fault for wanting to be close to her right hand, but to him it feels very mixed-- that she can't decide whether to treat him like a person or a weapon.

On a tangential note, I really like the idea of Eight interacting with Mandos a bit more than I did my first run; I feel as if the shared history between them and his own people makes for mutual curiosity and his odd appearance really uh, shone in the midst of all the armor.

In other words, I think Shae's mando camp all started petting him en masse.