#bc frankly my memory is so shit these will be helpful to have

[onyxhellebore]

My mother is engaging in some real Mrs. Bennett behavior and I am losing my MARBLES.

[howlingguardian]

hi hello i just wanted to let you know that i just binge-read your butcher!Taylor story and holy crap. wow. i'm amazed by how relatable you've managed to make the Butcher personalities—many of them, specially Firecracker, Nemean, Anchorage and Tactical, make me feel a bit like "and there, but for the grace of God, go I"—if it weren't for my heaps of sheer dumb luck (and the fact that this is isn't Earth Bet, obviously), that could have been me. it makes the entire story super interesting, and makes me kinda hope for the time Amy manages to get those letters to their destination—i really hope they get some closure, and not just Flinch's family. This last chapter—aside from making me despair about the cliffhanger—was really sweet: i loved the Amy interaction and I agree with Anchorage's Grandmaw that good food heals all, and helps always. I also really loved the Sophia, Taylor and mall guards interaction as well—Taylor was right in calling those fuckers out, and idk whether or not you're white, but you get internet cookies for that. I'm also a fan of Danny and Taylor rebuilding their relationship, Danny visibly getting better, and how despite Taylor gaining a newfound confidence bc of the Butcher's memories & life experiences, she isn't magically over what the Trio did to her—they still affect her, even if she's better equipped to dealing with them. It makes her more believable as a character. I'm also deeply curious about T—I'm hoping for an interlude from his POV eventually. He's been right there through a lot of it, and he's stuck by Taylor, and we don't really know what's up with him—there are some hints about helicopter parents who are overly supportive, but it sure stands out how he hasn't really told them he's a cape, which makes me think they're more overbearing than supportive, but I don't know. The way in which he covers himself in metal sure feels like burrito-ing in a security blanket, times 10. My heart goes to Vicky too—what she's going through sucks, hard. And I really appreciate how you've made an effort to make Brandish come across as a total bitch who has her reasons—she's not totally irrational, just differently rational. Really comes across how she's very obviously talking from a place of trauma and not casual cruelty. Also loving how you humanized Manpower—made it real clear even the "well-adjusted" capes are a lil fucked in the head (/non-pejorative—so am i, frankly). And I *really* love your Assault. I'm kinda hoping he breaks lines and has some words w Elpis, off the record—just because I really like him, and as someone who also has some misgivings abt the Gov, I'd like to see what Assault is thinking—that bit where they referenced Assault's past as Madcap as his "misspent youth" really made me grind my teeth.

This has been enough ranting I wager but anyways, the point is: awesome story, I love it, tahnk you for writing it!!!

Holy shit, this is, by a wide margin, the longest ask or message I've ever got. Thank you so much! I'm working on the next chapter as we speak, and it's going to be a big one!

I did aim to try and make the point that the Butchers, like a lot of villains, did not just decide to turn to a life of crime for shits and giggles. Many of them were forced into it by circumstance and spiralled down to stay alive. In the right environment, they'd have thrived.

The letters too- those will play a part, showing the Butcher's human connections and emphasising that they are human themselves. Even if they are currently disembodied voices in the head of a tenage girl.

Tarquin is... honestly, thinking some things about myself, I think he's got elements of myself in him. My parents aren't so hovering, but I do get the idea of putting up a facade to hide your vulnerabilities.

Characterisation is important in fanfiction, and maintaining nuance can make or break a story. Sometimes it's fun to exaggerate a character's personality, but I wanted to stick close to canon, so it's very encouraging to hear you approve of how I've written Vicky and Brandish and Manpower and a lot of other tricky characters.

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoy Here Comes The New Boss! The next chapter's coming out sometime this week, but if you can't wait until then, you can try my spin-off Hostile Takeover for a bit of fun.

[orcelito]

I think I cried harder today over my dad's jackets than I did at his deathbed. That was a miserable time of course, a memory that will likely be seared into my brain until I die, but I cried... I think a normal amount, all things considered. More than I ever usually do of course, but I typically don't cry At All. All this free crying is certainly surreal.

The jackets, though. I was put in charge of doing his laundry, because we don't want to pack up dirty clothes. I was expecting it to be unpleasant bc my dad's dirty clothes - gross. But really, it was much more unpleasant in that... those were his. It felt wrong to touch them. Felt wrong to treat his jackets as gross. Because they were just his jackets. They weren't even in the hamper. And then I was remembering him wearing them, and then I was crying. Again. And again. Weeping over these damn jackets.

Then I found a shirt on his bed that still smelled like him. It smelled like a Hug From Dad. And that set me off crying even harder.

In total, I think I cried like 6 times within 40 minutes. It took me that long to finish sorting the damn clothes bc I just. Was a wreck. Like, what are you supposed to do when you're living life like normal, vaguely hopeful bc you're taking steps to secure your own happiness, and then 4 days later you're sorting your dad's laundry because he fucking died. Suddenly. Without a goodbye.

And you have to worry about his lack of a will (even under an ideal situation, only 2 heirs and no conflicts between us, probate's a fucking Bitch), and arranging the funeral, and prepping his obituary, and picking out pictures, and writing a speech bc you want to talk at his funeral, of Course you want to talk at his funeral, but even just thinking about anecdotes you could share has you crying yet again.

I've cried more times in the past 3 days than likely the entirety of last YEAR. And that's WITH my cat, and uncle, and family friend dying. Those all hurt, my uncle most of all, & I was real fucked up over it. But this? This was my Dad. Likely the person I'd have named 2nd closest to me in my life, second only to my sister. He wasn't perfect, but he did so much for me throughout my entire life. All he wanted was to raise us to be happy and independent. And he accomplished it, we're getting by without him, but we still wanted several more decades with him. He was only 57. We should've gotten several more decades with him.

But here we are now. Playing investigators to his life, digging into all his shit, trying to find documents and take inventory of all his things, and learning Many things about him in the process. In his lockbox of sensitive documents, like his SSN and birth certificate and all that stuff, we found an old letter. About a decade old now, written in my hand. Right at the very top, we found that he'd kept the letter I wrote to him telling him frankly about my struggles and the things I wanted him to do better. He kept it. He tried to take it to heart. He looked at it again, sometime more recently than all the rest of the documents. That was on top.

His love for us is evident everywhere. The pictures he has hanging up all over the place, majority of them with us in them. The old fathers day cards placed on display in his bedroom bookshelf. The gifts we gave him, even stupid little knick knacks, placed around his apartment with pride. I wish we'd taken more videos of him. I don't want to forget the sound of his voice. I don't want to forget his smell either, the smell of a Hug From Dad, but I still tossed that shirt into the wash even though it felt like saying yet another goodbye.

It's the suddenness that hurts the most, I think. We were planning on having him help me finally get my license this year. My final words to him, the last thing he would've seen from me, were messages asking up on whether he'd called his car insurance company to make sure there wouldn't be problems. I should've called him more. I don't know if I'm going to learn from this.

I cut my 2 weeks off early to have time to grieve and to work on things for the funeral and settling the estate. The last thing I'd wanna do right now is selling fucking bubble tea in a job I already decided to leave. So here I am without a job, though with potentially two life insurance policy payouts to come. Inheriting half his 401k. Inheriting couches, knickknacks, keepsakes, paintings, art pieces, maybe even his guitar and other furniture if we can figure out what to do about space (I don't have room for this furniture, I don't know if I even have room for the couches, but God do I want to keep so much of this furniture). It has me even considering keeping one of his guns, just one. A tiny little revolver, it sits so comfortably in my hand. I don't even want to use it for anything. I just want to have it, keep it stored in a drawer with its ammo kept separate. I don't like guns, but this is a part of him. He loved collecting guns. He was about as responsible with them as someone can be, keeping them locked in a lockbox and impressing upon his children the importance of gun safety (I've known the basic gun safety rules ever since I was a little kid. Of course, of course, of course.) It reminds me of him. It's horrifically easy to have a gun in Indiana. I apparently don't even need a permit to carry anymore. (I have no intention to ever carry this in public.)

It's all a cycle. Business, grief, thoughts about my future. Round and round, like the most nauseating carousel in existence. I don't know how I'm still so functional. My skills with compartmentalization have been my lifesaver.

And im just thinking about the story my dad's best friend shared today. About a friend of theirs who lost her father. She reached out after hearing about my dad to share his words with her: "it's okay to grieve, but don't make his death your life".

He explicitly referenced himself in this, saying if he were to die suddenly that he wouldn't want us to define ourselves by it. Grief is expected, but he wants us to be able to move on. He's always wanted us to establish ourselves and make ourselves happy. He wouldn't want to be a weight holding us back from that.

So every time I start to feel guilty for thinking about having nicer furniture or using his life insurance payout to fund the rest of my college, I remind myself of that. Thinking about the material isn't a bad thing. I'm only human. And in the end, he'd Want me to be thinking about it. He never intended to die, certainly not without warning like this, so he would've only encouraged me being pragmatic about it all.

He only ever wanted us to be happy. So I need to do what I can to live up to that.

I love him. I miss him already.

[daydream-cement]

Can I make a request please? Fern and Larissa have been through the shit together. Could you write a piece where one of them is having a nightmare about [insert traumatic even from stately sequoia or cedars have eyes here] so the other tries to wake them up, only to end up getting smacked in the face? Angst and fluff bc I love them ✨💕

Nightmares

Larissa Weems x OC (Fern Rogers)

Authors Note: Hadn't even thought of this! Thank you anon!

The vines pulled you down. They were back. How were they back? You tried grasping for anything to keep you above ground. These vines feel thorny as they rake across your arms and dig into your body. You couldn't help it when you cried out in pain.

Your eyes search your surroundings wildly, maybe someone can save you. You see Larissa and the girls, but the vines are grabbing at them two. You need to get to them. You need to save them. There was absolutely nothing you could do but watch the loves of your life perish before you.

They were all screaming and crying in pain. The sight was absolutely unbearable. It was far more painful than any what you were experiencing physically.

You awoke with a start. Your hands finally broke free from the vines, sending your hands flying outward, one of them hitting something. Your heart broke when you saw that you struck Larissa as she was trying to wake you from the nightmare.

She pulled her lips between her teeth, choking down the pain so she could look after you, "Honey, are you okay?"

The memory of the dream came flooding back and you broke down into sobs, leaning into Larissa's chest. You were beyond happy to see her alive and well. She didn't ask you what the dream was about and frankly you were too worried about speaking it back into existence. You cried and cried and she pulled you up into her lap.

She rocked you back and forth, hushing your sobs. Larissa was incredibly worried about you and she felt tears pricking at her own eyes. You hadn't woken up from a dream like this in years.

"The girls. I want to see the girls." You mumbled into Larissa's chest, but she heard you loud and clear.

Larissa pressed many kisses to your forehead and wiped the tears from your face, not risking the chance of the girls seeing you so upset. You didn't have to go to them, however. The soft creak of your bedroom door brought forth two little faces.

They smiled sleepily when they saw the two of you sitting up in bed with the light on. Before they could state their reason for being there, Larissa held out her arms, "Come here, my babies."

Both of them came up to the bed, Althea crawling up from the end and Violet holding up her arms for Larissa to pull her up. Larissa now cradled Violet between the two of you and Althea rested her head in your lap.

"We couldn't sleep." Althea's voice was quiet. You ran your fingers through her soft blonde hair. You couldn't believe how comforting it felt to have all of your girls here in bed with you.

"I had a nightmare." Violet mentioned, keeping her face buried in Larissa's nightshirt, "Althea took all of my Legos and you didn't make her give them back."

The innocence of her dream gave you a wonderful reprieve from the disturbing sights you witnessed in your own dreams. Larissa quickly responded to Violet's dream, "Honey, you know Althea would never do that and we would make her give them back if she did."

"Can we sleep with you?" Althea asked, giving you the saddest puppy-dog eyes you had ever seen.

"We will all have to squeeze in. Especially if you two keep growing the way you are." You answer with a smile.

Althea and Violet snuggled between Larissa and you. She gazed over the top of the girls' heads and her eyes said everything you needed to hear. She loved you and the girls loved you. With that, Larissa turned over in bed to shut the light off.

You stayed up just a little while longer. You wanted to listened to the quiet breathing of your family. Your fingers danced over Althea's cheek, then Violet's. Just happy to have them close to you.

They weren't going anywhere.

[commaclear]

I'm curious about the whereabouts of engagement/wedding/promise rings in htid. Tbh I really wanna keep this short because I have four wip google docs open on my laptop and the last thing I need to do is write something that won't help me finish those, but that probablu won't work the way I want it to. Anyways

In htid there's four, maybe even five people who are part of this whole ring thing. The first one I wanna talk about is Sally, bc she's hot and traumatized and I feel like she'd throw a knife at my head if necessary. I know that technically she should have at least two rings, but I get the vibe she only has one and even then I doubt she got it in the traditional sense.

Sally only got married because she got pregnant, so I get the feeling that Fundy was the engagement ring. That being said, I feel like when you've got a relationship with two teenagers, there's a possibility that she has some cheap promise ring that Wilbur stole while they were at the mall together one day. He probably awkwardly presented it to her in the food court, and the memory is heavily skewed in Sally's head because she's over romanticized it in a sad attempt to stay in love with the man incapable of loving her.

I actually believe that she's done a lot of lying to herself for the sake of living in the safety of delulu land. I mean. I don't think. I know. It's very obvious. No one comes out of a relationship like that and still glorifies it without obscuring some details.

Anyways, Sally's probably got some long since oxodized shitty infinity ring sitting somewhere in a box. And then of course there's the formality of a wedding ring that I'm sure she did not get on the wedding day itself. It's probably not a lot, and she probably didn't receive it until well after Fundy's birth. Before their little courthouse marriage, Wilbur probably asked her if she wanted a ring, and she probably told him they needed to save money for the baby. Although, I'm sure she managed to convince herself she'd still get a ring as a surprise because Wilbur always was a bad listener. It was the small sliver of hope that was handcrafted to hurt by a little girl who dreamed of a grand white dress and a nice arrangement of diamonds.

I'm sure she eventually got a ring. And she'd probably taken how long it took a little personally, but she came around to the idea fairly quick. I feel like she still doesn't really take it off. Back then money was tight enough for the small little thing to mean the world to her, and even though she knows she could buy herself something way better now, the sentimental value is too much to even imagine removing it. She's probably been asked why she still wears it by plenty of people, Fundy and Jared included. And I'm sure she always takes extra care to remove it whenever Wilbur's around.

Now I'm pretty confident in saying Wilbur doesn't have anything more than a simple wedding band that he was very relieved to stop wearing. He's not quite sure where it is, and frankly, he's not trying to find it. He never really felt all that great wearing it. It felt more like an obligation than something he wore proudly. Quackity's probably seen it before, but he knows enough not to ask Wilbur about.

Wilbur honestly got some shit with rings and jewelry altogether. I feel like when he tried buying Sally's ring, the person working at the store seemed so judgmental and obnoxious that he shudders every time he sees a jewelry store. He also doesn't like that love is measured by how much of a diamond a man can afford. And he doesn't like walking around with expensive jewelry either.

That being said, I feel like Wilbur would be more than willing to face his fears if Quackity ever showed interest in anything from one of those stores. One of the main ways Wilbur communicates his love and affection, as well as how he tries to fix his guilt, is through gift giving. Wilbur doesn't really like himself, and he often assumes others don't like him either, so he attempts to make up for what he believes he lacks by spending whatever he can on them. And I'm sure that ties into his whole thing with being a foster kid and knowing how a single good gift can change how you perceive someone.

I feel like Quackity is pretty anti-ring after Karl broke off the engagement. He assumed it got lost in the car accident because Karl had probably taken it off, but he eventually finds it on his nightstand. It kinda puts the whole situation into a shitty place. Slime's probably asked Quackity about it a billion times, and Quackity eventually gets tired of it and puts it where Slime won't find it.

Wilbur's probably seen the ring before, and it made him feel incredibly shitty because something tells me the ring is rather flashy in comparison to anything Wilbur's even given or received. Wilbur kinda hates it because it's just another shitty reminder of how much Quackity must've loved Karl, and he'll never live up to it. It is also a representation of how much Karl was worth to Quackity, and Wilbur doesn't believe he has nearly enough to be deserving of something so extreme.

This whole thing is stupidly long and a mess, and I really need to go work on my own shit. But it's the best I could do

Also last ask you asked me why I have rusty scissors in my shower. And like. It's not like they were rusty in the beginning. I use them when I need to cut something. Sometimes you just need to switch things up, and rusty scissors are good at that. Ever stab a bottle of conditioner [Question mark] Ever cut a random piece of hair off[Question mark] That shit's refreshing. Also excuse the lack of question marks. I'll figure it out later. Turns out the question mark key is open. Shit's wild

-Quackity Analysis Anon

Ooooh, excellent question. I'm gonna run down this one at a time.

Wilbur: First, Wilbur had a chastity ring. He got it from his super conservative foster home and lost it as quickly as he could when Phil adopted him, but the memory of wearing it and what it stood for stuck with him for a long time. He and Sally did have wedding rings and a proper ceremony (before the Fundy was born), but everyone knew it was a shotgun wedding. Sally was very obviously pregnant at the time.

Sally: Sally did actually have an engagement ring, but Wilbur's experience of buying it was worse than you might think. As soon as her parents found out about the pregnancy, Sally's dad had a long talk with Wilbur about "doing the right thing" and then took him out to buy Sally an engagement, which he then paid for. It was humiliating for Wilbur, who gets a nauseating wave of anxiety whenever he goes inside a fancy jewelry store now. Unlike Wilbur, Sally still has her wedding ring, stored away in her jewelry box never to be worn, but never to be thrown away.

Quackity: He and Karl exchanged promise rings a few years ago, and for a long time after the cheap ring started oxidizing, Quackity wore it as a necklace. Once they got properly engaged, the promise ring necklace was moved to safe storage.

Karl: The doctors had to remove his engagement ring when he was hospitalized, and somewhere between hospital moves, it got lost. Karl was confused to wake up without it, and now it hurts to look at his left hand. He lost the promise ring a few years ago too while washing dishes, so now he has nothing.

The stuff you said abt Wilbur and Quackity's feelings toward rings is just so spot on actually, these men have Issues

[rens-denn]

Heeeeeeey~

Hi.

Not me sulking around in headspace whenever I was mentioned >:/

I was basically assigned to complain about last night and the shit that happened =_=

I'll still do it though, even if like. It's interrupted or whatever. Or uncomfortable because motherfucker is here because ✨weekend✨

So the essay will be under the cut :/

Motherfuckers wanted to try and rewrite the memories, btw. Which kinda goes against our instinct to preserve and archive shit, but ig that's why I'm here to rant and rave and riot >:/ Idk we write shit down a lot if it's important to us.

So yeahh! Time to fucking spill the bullshit.

Who really cares if it's unreasonable or not, bitch it's called fucking unhealed trauma.

So. B asked us if we want to go out to the store. Cool, right? Like, yeah sure fuck it, I don't have anything much going on. We were watching S and his friend (R at this point bc he's a recurring side character) play Sekiro before but ended up leaving to do some shit on the comp, so not like we were really doing much.

Told us to put on smth warm. First reaction: literally most if not all of our clothes need to be washed. But sure bud, I have *something* warm. So grabbed our secondary sweater, and then jacket from the cat-invaded room (plus anything else might've wanted or needed, like our wallet despite never using it :/)

Motherfucker was in call with his community friends and gf a while before wanting to go out, and we got ignored from small things to ask or mention or joke. Ok, cool... /s. Then the fucker says after like 5-10min of talking "btw I'm gonna reconnect on my phone" meaning he's STILL gonna talk to em when we leave!

Ok. Fuck you? MOTHERFUCKER WAS STILL IGNORING US AND HE TOOK SO LONG TO GET UP TO GO BECAUSE OF THEM!! LIKE BITCH YOU'RE THE ONE WHO INVITED US TO GO OUT. YOU'D THINK YOU'D TRY A LITTLE HARDER??? {Me when the narcissistic traits act up /silly/j}

Then it was little things for a bad start: couldn't find our earbuds (found after the whole fiasco/debacle/whatever); didn't know for sure where our gloves were and they werent in our jacket pockets (couldve been in our room and frankly I dont fucking like going in there with the cats so I wouldnt go back in if I could help it); and then B started to command us. EXCUSE YOU??

Honestly the commanding shit is the most infuriating fucking thing. Motherfucker is barely acknowledging we exist AT ALL, yet he acts like he has a right to tell us what the fuck to do? Mf when u say ur diagnosed bpd maybe you also have some other cluster b shit goin on (which might influence yk the reason for some of his panic attacks recently considering what he's said during em :/)(not that its like inherently a bad thing, I(we) probably got shit too; but like FUCK, lowkey kinda worried about how that shit would affect him without a therapist or smth to aid him through it for recovery)(if bro doesnt want to get better is a problem but like the panic attacks can induce/worsen his epileptic seizures for him. So I'd like for him to have less panic attacks? I'm sure he would too :/ I just don't know how the fuck he would want me/us to help through the panic. We don't want to fuck up more and hurt him or risk his health for this shit.) <-the excessive parentheses text was not intentional but like this is a rant and a vent and I can do whatever the fuck I want so fuck you.

Anyways. Yeah uh he told us to do shit as if it was our fucking job. As if he expects us to obey completely, to comply with that shit. Fucker is also autistic so like tone is hard for him and I'm just gonna assume thats for both speaking and listening. So yk when he says it how he does, it pisses me off! :)

Grabbed the fucking umbrella because we have to comply >:( and we dont know if it's raining or not. I didnt care to want the umbrella but he cared a lot. The umbrellas will cause issue later. When we went to put our shoes on he was ALREADY OUTSIDE OF THE APARTMENT!! DUDE WAS FUCKING TALKING TO THEM THE WHOLE TIME!! Ok!? So not only was he commanding us, BUT THAT WAS THE ONLY TIME HE SPOKE TO US OR ACKNOWLEDGED US AT ALL‼️

Shit's fucked up dude! He was already all the way down the stairs when we went out!! HE ALSO FORGOT THE KEYS AND FULLY EXPECTED US TO BOTH GET THEM AND HAVE THEM??? Bitch. This will also come to bite us both in the ass later. So I closed the door, no lock bc no key and also S and R were still home playing the game, they'd probably let us in. In hindsight I probably should've realized we couldn't get back in the building without the other key, but I was pissed off, you expect me to be rational when I'm being fucking ignored??? No, I'm a petty bitch >:/

The entire walk TO AND FROM THE STORE. WAS SHIT.

Motherfucker talked to his friends the ENTIRE time, and had his umbrella like he didn't care at all. Only time he seemed actually present irl was crosswalks, otherwise he was just enough to keep walking along like a fucking drone.

I either tailed him or was beside him when we were going TO the store, and any mix of front, behind, and beside when heading back. Mostly front because I did not like tailing him anymore, and being beside was HARD because UMBRELLAS. God, it was so FUCKING annoying because of the mandated spacing of it. That shit would hit trees, fencing, and (rarely) other people. More commonly our umbrellas would brush together which was annoying as FUCK.

IN store was also not great. Didnt know what we were getting, but it kinda felt like (and often feels like) he was being inconsiderate anyway. Because yeah he'll get smth with us in mind, but more in a both of us and not singular us way (him and I, not solely me (us)).

The reality is there's kinda no winning usually because either he asks us and we get pressured into a yes or no, or he asks us to pick something and just WATCHES, which has sent us into panic multiple times. // Ideally we would be able to get something by ourself, while he's looking away, but we also stress over the price of things, even if its just one single item we want--especially because HE is ALSO very conscious of how much things cost, especially since he's usually paying for it. Even if we could get something ourself, which is basically never gonna happen, we won't be guaranteed to ACTUALLY get it.

Skipping past the fact that even in store was annoying as fuck (walking simulator)(+ having to hold shit occasionally besides our umbrella :/), the no keys? Yeah that's next pretty much. B called S to get let in, only to find out the dude left with R to go somewhere (later found out is was apparently a restaurant; reason is probably related to their friend's wedding that they went to earlier in the day {congrats to them!!}).

Backdoor was the option to get in. I was basically trying to lead B, who had fucking ignored me to see if S would explain instead. Bullshit. Then he fucking TURNED TO GO TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BUILDING THAT DIDNT HAVE A KEYPAD TO GET IN??? Fucker ignored me!? He's so fucking lucky someone left the building on that side, because we were able to get in far quicker + easier. I'm lowkey pissed off about that now but whatever. We got in.

To make this section a *tad* shorter: Apartment was also locked, naturally. B proceeded to continue spouting commands, asking if my data was decent and then telling me to install Uber, and to give him my fucking passcode. I was beyond frustrated and we broke down, which he was trying to get me to suppress essentially, which is COMMON AND STILL BULLSHIT!! Fucker has no regard for my feelings and would rather I didn't have them, I swear. Need to take a cleaver to his throat.

He took my phone and went to get keys from S, and left his phone that was at 3%. All I could do was check the time (and answer one call from him) so safe to say it was a hell of a lot of nothing to do.

This is when talk of rewriting memories happened, by the way. We'll say whoever is 'host' or the mask or whatever, which is probably NOT 🌼, is the one who suggested it. We needed to bide our time and, frankly, wanted to just be done with everything. It started with just. "Internal conversation with a blank slate fragment" type shit. Which, frankly, NOT GOOD? Like I get you desperately do not want to have these feelings and experiences affecting you right now, but maybe don't try and intentionally split or force shit on an unsuspecting fragment??? [memory alteration convo was trying to make it so we actually just went out alone and did stuff, to help feel more independent. Which has plot holes because nothing would be in character for B, but the decision with that was "ah well just forget about that," just act like we did it solo and were fine. Dumbasses, honestly.]

👑 was mentioned at one point, and he was kinda just in his study ig??? It was thought up and therefore made as a place for him to sit and read or write or whatever. To exist. I was mentioned too, and nearby, and was told to essentially go away (it was nicer than that because we're trying NOT to be assholes to ourself; to me especially. Just a "we need space" thing, which is true.) I know it was just so we didn't dwell on the issues that afternoon, btw. Eventually 🌼 was being brought to front, anyways, because. Well. Could use some positivity. I was the one who got off call with B afterall, when he mentioned he got hurt, so the idea was "he's gonna be in a worse state than he was before, and it probably isn't good to still hold a grudge and be mad/bitter when he's here and hurt, so if we can just. Pretend things are fine, then it'll be easier." That was the thought process, essentially, so they were in front (and *sorta* regressed?) and trying to be alone. Couldn't afford emotional bleed, so they tried grounding themself more. I left pretty much, because my memory of it is pretty damn fuzzy for some stuff (atleast offhand?). Like ALMOST blackout levels of fuzzy.

We kept note of the time, and it took about an hour, as opposed to a possible two or more hours, and we finally got inside. Put away the stuff he bought. Did have to help him up the stairs (atleast to stand) and had him using the umbrella(s) as a cane so he would have an easier time moving around when he did. Stuff immediately after that is pretty... wiped, for me. I know it wasn't ME acting anyways so meh. Makes sense. I know we made a burrito tho, or one for us both since he couldnt get up.

Blah blah, blurry time-space, eventually R and S got back to playing their game and we watched. Mainly spent a lot (and I mean a LOT) of time helping B through his epilepsy/seizures and stuff. We ended up having multiple panic attacks past halfway through it, which sucked ASS. Atleast it got us sympathy from B (who wanted to try and help us through but really we can regulate on our own fairly well so it was kinda pointless).

^ This is what was mentioned on collective main btw ^

SO YEAH YESTERDAY WAS PRETTY FUCKING SHITTY AND WE GOT REALLY FUCKIN HURT EMOTIONALLY AND MENTALLY AND SHIT BUT YKW ITS FINE BECAUSE NOW I'VE WRITTEN IT DOWN AND WE CAN LET OUR BRAIN FORGET IT NATURALLY IG IDFK

We end up forgetting a lot of events and details but not the hurt as it piles up. Sometimes specific details can be recalled. But overall we just remember "you hurt me multiple times" p much. It's whatever. The good thing about journaling and shit is that we have a record of it somewhere, atleast.

Ok, I've said my piece, I did the stupid fucking intentional rant/vent thing that was asked of me. Praying we dont get a headache, and that it isn't bad if we do.

[tigirl-and-co]

Hi I'm the guy who drew gohan! I wpuld love to know about the movies :]]

Awesome!!! this is a list I made for a friend after having watched every special and movie, but I keep it on hand for myself bc I have bad memory :3c

the list is in chronological order, so no need to worry about accidentally spoiling yourself!

-World's Strongest (really good if you're a fan of kid Gohan. This one is REALLY in its own timeline, so if you're already at Namek you're good)

-Bardock: Father of Goku (BARDOCK MY FAVOURITE DUBIOUSLY CANON MAN!!! Best watched DIRECTLY after Goku defeats Frieza)

-cooler's revenge (ehhhh I think it's just okay but some people really like it. Can be watched any time after Goku returns to earth)

-Super Android 13 (honestly the movie itself is mid, but it's got SO MANY ICONIC MOMENTS and also it's only 45 minutes. This is where 'DON'T YOU LECTURE ME WITH YOUR THIRTY DOLLAR HAIRCUT!' and the Goten-erasing dick punch is from. Can be watched any time after the androids are activated)

-Broly: The Legendary Super Saiyan (I think this is the longest of the Z movies. It's divisive in the fandom but I think everybody needs to see it at least once. It's also probably the most 'HOLY SHIT THAT'S SO COOL' of the movies. Frankly it's worth watching for that alone, no matter how you feel about Broly as a character. Can be watched basically any time in the android saga, it's real weird in the timeline)

-History of Trunks (the most heartwrenching of I think anything in dragonball. So good. You will cry. Best watched immediately post-cell)

-fusion reborn (really really gorgeous but is... kind of a nothing movie. Watch if you are dying for an interesting villain or really really really need to see Gogeta, otherwise don't worry about it. takes place mid-buu (also this movie is infamous for the Dictator scene))

-Wrath of the Dragon (pretty good if you like the more character-oriented stuff, but otherwise is a tad generic. Fleshes out kid trunks a bit, which is nice. Definitely top 5 for me, but I love seeing aloof characters defrost so it might just be my bias. Post-buu I think)

-Battle of Gods (I actually haven't seen this one, but everyone says it rules, so... It's the start of Super, so Post-Buu saga!)

-Super Broly (THIS MOVIE IS SO GOOD PEOPLE WERE SCREAMING IN THE THEATRE)

-Super Hero (this movie is good, but to me it is The Best One as I am a piccolo and Gohan fan. Pan is here and she's very cute)

-GT: A Hero's Legacy (the very very final thing, chronologically. Just a cute special about Goku's great great grandkid. No GT knowledge required. Pan is there)

I hope this helps! there's a lot of movies, and it can be really overwhelming if you're just getting into it! There's a couple DB movies as well, but i haven't seen them since like 2015 uwu; I remember Path to Power was pretty good but honestly I wouldn't worry about any movie not on this list until you know you're a diehard

And even then, you definitely don't have to watch all of these, either! these are just either the ones I personally love, or the fandom has a general love for.

OH and idk if you're doing dub or sub- if you're doing sub, you can go ahead and skip Android 13 bc the dub is the reason that movie is fun

have fun!!!

[pageofsuns]

i have some thoughts about cyrus' horse (and muriel's too!) in muriel's route because world building yada yada you know how it is. disclaimer that i know nothing about horses and im working solely with my imagination and realism means nothing bc this is a story where you fight the devil. so here's a really long post about HORSES

(route spoilers obv)

at the beginning of the route, cyrus is scared of horses. she's never had to ride in the 3 years she's been alive, and anytime she's seen them in the city they've huffed at her and she's decided just to give them a wide berth. she's always been INCREDIBLY wary.

when nadia says they'll be riding horses south, cyrus pales and begins wringing their hands, babbling incoherently to try to calm themselves as she and muriel make the walk to meet the horses.

muriel's horse is a massive, stunning black clydesdale named osiris. he's calm and gentle, a pure reflection of muriel.

cyrus, on the other hand, has been left a palamino akhal teke horse named apollo

he's one of nadia's favorite horses in the palace stable, he's reliable and notably has always been one of the easiest horses to work with.

osiris takes to muriel quickly, mostly just happy to be there, relaxed as ever.

cyrus tentatively offers their hand for apollo to sniff

but something about cyrus sets him off

he immediately bucks his head forward, knocking cyrus on their ass in the dirt

apollo is jittery and excited and suddenly extremely rowdy

cyrus has always been good with animals, this is unprecedented and WEIRD

with some coaxing and comforting from muriel, he's able to calm apollo and help cyrus onto the saddle

the first couple days of riding are far from smooth, to say the least

apollo seems to have taken so much interest in cyrus that he keeps trying to turn his head far enough to see cyrus, and keeps accidentally slamming his whole head into them

he'll start jumping and running sporadically and cyrus just holds on for dear life

a handful of times apollo bucked cyrus off just to turn around and lick their face as they lay in the dirt

this supposedly calm-natured, dignified, beginner-friendly horse has become far too excitable to have an easy ride

what cyrus first thought was aggression and anxiety is actually just him being excitable and, frankly, a little shit

cyrus decides she wants to bond with apollo, so will take breaks from riding to walk alongside apollo

after weeks of traveling together, they're pretty much best friends

he and muriel take time to braid flowers into their horses' hair while they walk

cyrus riles apollo up like a dog with zoomies

whilst muriel and osiris look on in poorly veiled admiration

while traveling through the forest on foot, cyrus and apollo share berry snacks, every other berry going to apollo

when lucio leaves after the first fight, apollo intercepts him at the entrance to cave practically growling, but after lucio swipes at apollo, the two horses flee back to the palace

cyrus is DEVASTATED and worried sick until asra informs them the horses returned safe

when they return to vesuvia, they're sure to make a stop at the stables to see apollo before continuing on to the masquerade

days have passed since the masquerade went to shit, tent-vesuvia is in full swing around muriel's hut, and up walk osiris and apollo to muriel's hut, disheveled and looking hungry

apollo, being a "golden horse", was lucio's first pick out of the stables

the second his stable was opened though, apollo knocked lucio to the ground and took off out the door, osiris following suit after his friend

apollo proceeds to then be the horse cyrus rides into battle

jump ahead to the games

obviously apollo cannot be one of the horses in the line up, it wouldn't be fair

but when cyrus sees lysinger, it hits like a truck

the memories come flooding back

the reason apollo acted so strange when they first met was because he knew cyrus before they died

apollo had been a novelty animal in the red market, a golden horse that was practically untameable

cyrus was able to "liberate" (see: steal) apollo from the vendor

nadia graciously allowed him to take apollo to the stables at the palace where they would proceed to train together

slowly, apollo and cyrus grew to be a team. he went from viciously wild to the perfect partner horse

eventually nadia was able to start using apollo as a beginner friendly horse because of how well trained he was

cyrus would visit apollo every day, but as times grew more dire, they would see less and less of each other

cyrus helped him get more accustomed to the stablehands, having the foresight to see that her time was on the horizon and she wouldn't be able to see apollo anymore

he grew antsy without them, but with some help from the stablehands, was able to become one of the best horses nadia had in her stable

in lysinger, cyrus sees apollo, which is why he's the horse he picks for the games

after all the dust has settled, apollo and osiris move to live outside muriel's hut, pretty much free range

just like the chickens, the horses are more like neighbors than anything

gay horses (they're in love) but anyway

any time muriel and cyrus travel south, they take osiris and apollo, making the trip with a lot less goats this time

and thats. all that i have, i think. in conclusion, i'm not a horse person and have never ridden horse irl and know literally nothing about them i just cant NOT make deep connections with animals teehee

[heartfluttered]

if your school has previous mocks available, get them first or yell at your teacher LOL 😭🙏 make a list and go down practice exams. if you’re in a rush, take a look at practice exams and ask yourself if u can solve it / think of the method you would use to solve the q and then check the answer key. you can build up a list really fast thru this. after three-to-five exams, u get the feel for what you need to work on. and then you can run through practice exam questions catered to the topic and hw/notes related to it. it kinda depends on what subject too tho bc this is a stem type of method 😔🫶

i have a really specific way i study for humanities (😐 history……..) thru active recall and brute memorization. i try to memorize everything i can and then give friends my notes for them to quiz me on them. this method is good if you have a strong memory 😭😭😭 or decent notes 😭😭😭

(if u do ib… i can lend u some of my history notes from last may 😭😭😭 )

and lastly!!! pomodoro method!!! is good bc it works for my terrible attention span and it’s nice to have a lot of study breaks to help u regain focus.

(😔💪 pls sleep as well. sleeping is v important.)

HUUU TY FAYE..

that first tip sounds rlly good i typically spend time doing the entire practice before checking answers which takes. way longer than it should SDLFNMSJS i think i’ll do that!

i take ib but don’t take history ( im a psychology student ( ඉ_ඉ ) ) i have a friend who kinda needs help on history tho so if it’s alright w u i’d appreciate those notes! ^^

my memory is frankly shit which is! bad for psychology and ESS but i’m making my way through :’D i do the ‘giving friends notes to quiz me on’ thing alrdy & i’ve heard of pomodoro but never personally tried it so i’ll test it out :Dd

tysm faye!! (ˊᵕ͙ૣᴗᵕ͙ૣˋ)♡ i’ll make sure to get that sleep :’Dd insomnia sucks but i’ll figure it out ೕ(•̀ᴗ•́) ty for the tips!

[shallowrambles]

Ben and Lisa and Lisa's devastating pursuit of normal

Ben is on the nose. He's literally named "son," and he acts like adult!performing!Dean, rather than a nuaced 3D person at first. Like Ben doesn't act like a real child. In fact, Ben seems awkwardly, gleefully wrought, like a bad red herring. I mean, a kid loving AC/DC? Leather jacket? Not even Dean liked these things. He aped them from John. Kids from this time are into Spiderman. Ninja-Turtles. Ben is sketched obnoxiously, even by SPN writing standards.

Lisa's weird, impulsive clingy behavior is best explained by either thinking Dean's the father for real or needing him to be, in order to sell a lie to herself. There's some weird stuff about her. Lisa looks loaded, financially wise. There's family money or at least help on the downpayment. She rented a bounce house for a kids' party. That $100-200 even by today's standards. Yikes!

My girl was a young yoga instructor with an unexpected pregnancy...kinda hard to make things work without some help. We know her sister is in the picture, but is she estranged from her parents? The grandparents are nowhere to be seen. Something is off about her family life. There's no Ben-with-grandparents photos. Dean played golf, but not with his father-in-law? Weird. They look like a golf-with-granpa family. That looks like a golf-with-granpa house.

So, taking it further than that, Lisa looks like a gal who knows how to use BC and condoms, and she'd def use that with a rando stranger. Unless she couldn't afford BC, which means... hmm. So, how did she get pregnant? Coykd it have been potentially traumatic? Maybe she knows who the actusl father is. That's what the stammering blood test is about. She needs to convince herself that the real father...isn't. Because it's shameful. She'd rather it be Dean instead. Perhaps? It's an interesting thought.

On a strategical front, even Cas knew to use Claire against Jimmy. Michael would have absolutely jumped into Ben, rather than dig up Adam. Frankly, Dean and Cas erasing Ben's memories when he's a potential vessel would be strategical suicide, dooming Ben to live in a world as a vessel but without any warning/protection about avoiding angelic manipulation.

So that leaves options:

If you say yes, Ben is Dean's kid, you have to then consider that A, Michael is just stupid (unlikely), or B, he's kind and wouldn't use a kid (even more unlikely)

If you say Ben isn't, then either A, Lisa is tragically fixated on Dean (not unusual for cool!girl writing in SPN), B, Lisa is using Dean to cover her own trauma (thematically consistent), or Lisa and Ben were mind-whammied beforehand to fit a particular aesthetic for Dean (ick).

The second scenario looks more likely. I prefer option 2. And furthermore, if we're going to harp on AC/DC and leather jackets being "heritable," that's all Lisa. It's Ben who shares Lisa's tastes. She introduced him to leather jackets and AC/DC, because Lisa also apes what she looks for in a man. If a single weekend was her best after a near decade, and a year with a paranoid was that good for her, something's up with her life. She needs "normal" too much. Tldr; Lisa desperately wanted normal more than even Dean did because her life was already broken.

Maybe she needed a weekend where a man wanted her for her, not for money or whatever. Maybe it was the LACK of lindness in her life that made Dean sooooo special and the "best night of my life" shit is a smokescreen she uses to ward off this truth? Maybe it was she who desperately needed a normal apple pie family life w/o shame. Any man would do so long as they tried to make it work; so long as they were kind; anything to make Lisa appear normal.

That's a good argument as any why Lisa needed to play house so badly.

Being a cool!girl is an act. You put up with shit because you know it's the only way to get table scraps.

Lisa is the superior pretender, and Dean had no idea because he was young and perceived normal folks as "having all their shit together." Lisa's pretending is beaten only by Bela Talbot imho

P.S. Ben's not John's either for same angelic reasons as above. However, he might be Arthur Ketch's.

[neonapocalypta]

(Mostly) First Impressions of Eternal Filena

CONTEXT: Another thread repost from my twitter during my original batch of Takeshi Shudo stuff I watched while being ill in March. Of course, these are edited for any grammar and anything that didn't need to be there w/ hindsight. This time, I actually had to add stuff in the form of notes. I gotta get back on this watch, I've just been down so many rabbit holes this year. I had also watched cosmos pink shock, but never got around to talking about it despite loving it. I look forward to talking about these shows more someday. (And pretty soon for one of them...)

---

I knew getting ahold of a lot of Takeshi Shudo's early work was gonna be a challenge, but at least according to Wikipedia he did a lot of uncredited work throughout the early 70s. What a shame, even if it seems like he was just a helping hand.

Lucky for me I guess I've seen enough of the guy's work that I can usually tell what he might have written. He has a distinct style from what I've sampled so far. [NEW NOTE: This is in relation to some of the earliest shows he worked on as a writer. I had been having trouble finding his proper credit online for individual episodes he wrote. I had watched those before watching these ovas. During these shows I'd just have to watch an ep and guess if he'd pop up in the credits. I was right pretty much every time. What a nice memory.]

So far, my favs are Radio City Fantasy and Eternal Filena. Radio is a cute love story in twist with a drug trip. Filena is also a love story about two people that have to come together and make shit work.

Filena has 3 versions. The light novel (I can't read it.) the game, and the anime that was never completed. The anime is still worth watching, it has some cool visuals and frankly I love Lila and Filena a lot, so its an added bonus for me. I'm not sure which version is closer to Shudo's LN. My guess would be the anime since it seems like he had more involvement in the writing, but I'm only guessing. The game feels almost has a road trip vibe and is quicker paced compared to the anime.

I know the claim about Prof Ivy being a Lesbian was debunked recently, so its cool to be able to say Takeshi Shudo has written a lesbian couple. I know there's talk about Filena being a trans man, and I think that's valid. Though it seems like this is mostly talked about from the perspective of the game, where their character is written a bit different than the show. (Less openly affectionate, more traditionally masculine personality)

Also, if Filena is a trans the ending of the game is pretty terrible then, forcing them to wear a dress when they don't want to. (Aka forcing them to conform to women gender roles in this case.) I'm not saying that's why I think Filena isn't trans, I'm saying if they are, that's a really shitty ending for a trans guy. Epesh bc Lila, their partner, is making them wear it.

My guess is that Shudo intended them to be a lesbian couple. Rn having access to the novels would be really helpful. If you've never read a Shudo novel, at the least the Pokemon ones are written a lot different than most books. Most people would say he's a terrible writer, but I disagree. At least in those books you can feel his brain throughout the page. No one else could have written those books in that exact way. He has a voice, lets say, and I'm sure the writing style is the same in the EF LNs. Either way, I think it's so cool to have a series from the 90s that lets people speculate about queer identities and there's viable text to provoke discussion.

It's also cool to see how our main couple is treated. They live in a world where they're slaves and are only seen as entertainment. Together they see each other as loved ones, work ingas a team to create a better future for themselves. It's something you have to read/play to completely get what I mean and I think the anime is better at showing this aspect. But trust me, there's a warmth to their relationship past the romance. (no matter what type of couple they are.) With it being a romance, makes it better. Double for gay interpretation. It doesn't feel it was written to be "Lesbians be hot" but more "This is a couple". Even if in Shudo's novel they don't end up together (they do in the game.) or it goes any other way in the end, I still really respect how they're written.

MORE END OF THE GAME SPOILERS: They become queens at the end. Like Lila is on the throne with Filena. Based.

I'd love to keep talking about Filena and Lila at length bc I think they're great, but I don't want to spoil anything else. Btw the game is on the SNES and never got localized (i WoNdEr WhY?) so Filena being either a gay woman or a trans protag is pretty cool considering the era. Fuck, her being a woman protag by itself was a big deal for that era as far as I know.

*Btw not saying the Queer themes are the only reason this wasn't brought over. I could guess several like how it looks like FF or how its an adult property, and more. [NEW NOTE: I think I meant it looks enough like Final Fantasy that investors wouldn't want to risk it being in competition with those games. tbh that coulda made it a better candidate for an ENG release during certain times as well. I was just spit ballin' but it bothered me enough to add this note. While we're here, I think between it's adult and Queer themes, and also coming out in 95 is most likely why it stayed JPN excusive. I should have mentioned its late release date (for the SNES), but when you're sick and on twitter things slip through the cracks I guess.]

The game has a fan translation and there's a recent lp that shows it off. I'd say check it out if you like that era of JRPGs in general. Personally, for English speakers at least, the game then the anime is the best way to go since you'll get a full story first.

There's several reasons I like one version over the other but that's small shit and I've written enough for now. I wasn't planning on this thread becoming about Filena but I guess it is national Women's day [At time of writing] and no matter Filena's gender, Lila is a queen.

Also sorry if I get anything wrong. Espesh about Shudo's career. Info on the english web is not great. Like some websites say Radio city was his first work at 18, but it came out in 1984 and he was born in 1949. If I get anything wrong, I'll correct it.

i got a lot more Shudo stuff I've seen and want to see, so maybe next time I'll post more about Radio city. This was meant to be a small update thread lol.

[thatgirlonstage]

Sticking this below the cut just bc it’s going to be spoilers for the very very end in detail rather than just live react stuff

Okay. Okay. Left ENTIRELY ambiguous whether James had figured it out before the collar snapped on his neck or only got it afterwards bc of getting more memories back/the power of the collar or whatever, and I think I need to calm down and sit on it for a bit. But my thoughts are like. I am so strongly inclined to believe that he knew, for a LOT of different reasons (not least of which is, if Will has felt this extremely heightened connection between them since day 1, WILD to believe James hasn’t been having a similar experience and couldn’t perhaps figure out what that means). And frankly, I feel like if he 100% hadn’t known, we would’ve gotten a really unambiguous line about it in his POV chapter. Instead we got — and forgive me, audiobook, so I’m quoting from memory here — we got a line about how James didn’t think he would help the light or the light would help him, but “Will had asked him to”. Which, I just can’t help but note, makes no indication of whether Will is part of the light. Only that he had asked James to join forces with them and James had agreed, because it’s Will. And his whole flashback and revelation moment ALSO does not contain a super clear “oh shit, Will is the dark king” moment.

I feel like the biggest argument AGAINST him knowing earlier is that it kinda negates Will’s whole panic attack moment at the end—if James can just be like “no, you idiot, I’ve been following you for weeks before this thing got back on my neck and I’ve known the whole time” then Will can’t really argue that James is only on his side due to compulsion from the collar. Which could make the ending weak in retrospect. But that will wildly depend on what Pacat does with book 3, how & where he starts it, what the shape of their relationship and the plot is moving forward.

For now I’m gonna stay on “this motherfucker knew” I think

Anyway: holy shit tho

JAMES ST CLAIR

[atherix0]

This is the time where we collectively find out how long I can make this ask because OH MY GOD

FIRST OF ALL as someone who loves horror I've always really loved the imagery of a safe place, ESPECIALLY in the day, being empty. A place that should have people in it just. Empty. *The streets were empty*.

Also they way you write fight scenes continues to be magnificent. Even without the flair of Scar being there, Grian's got his own flair to the way he tries to fight back and fails. And somehow grian getting KIDNAPPED is gonna be even better than them finding him half dead [or maybe,,,,all dead] on a boatem alleyway but also. Imagine. Imagine if they went looking for him and he was just a body in the road holy SHIT

OH AND THE TORTURE! The ripping at each other, Grian seeing red?????????/ I'm all in. All hands on deck, I can literally F E E L how good the rest of these chapters are going to be

[👀👀 the blood on the glyph was a nice touch]

OHOHOHO 'THEIR' FAVORITE VAMPIRE, I SEE.

oh mumbo my BOY oh my god yes cause Scar is just sitting there like "haha im definitely not going to panic" and mumbo abandoned that at like, the hour mark s2g. Oh my god the way you went back in time and had the realize things were happening prior to the glyph being activated with blood is genius but, once again, imagine if somehow they hadn't been alerted to it and suddenly scars hand is just *burning*-

oh my god Mumbo just shadow walking to Scar's home too its a good thing they went to aqua town before this because the absolutely insanity mumbo would have fallen into because Scar is like the only thing keeping him from ripping into grian's poor manager for answers. Imagine if he had to wait for scar to teleport and then just like. found blood on his own. My god.

Also as a side note i really love how shadow walking is less like teleporting and more like being funneled?????? truly that cannot be a comfortable method of transportation and yet here they are anyway.

Oh and the way Scar uses his magic here is INCREDIBLE I mean like - he's pushing magic in, pushing magic out, having to keep Mumbo from getting caught in all of it, waking all of Boatem back up, AND finding MEMORIES????????? I *LOVE* that explanation for the earlier boatem history lesson he gave grian bc I assume that's what he was doing there, too

FERAL FERAL FERAL FERAL FERAL!!!! AHHHH mumbo my BELOVED look at you GO oh my GOD - just standing there, getting darker and darker and yet Scar *trusts* him oh my *god* please just get engaged after this. Please admit a whole lotta things.

Also I reaaaaaaaaally love how you use the curse words for emphasis in this story it is GENIUS. I dont normally subscribe to the idea that characters should only be allowed to curse like once or twice to get their point across [because that advice often ignores character intention and vocabulary] but it works REALLY well here. It's so striking because Ive gotten used to the fact that the hermits dont cuss in their videos and most people dont make them cuss in fanwork, really a smart move.

OH THE BLOOD ON THE GLYPH BURNS SCAR, ALSO GENIUS because now Mumbo is holding him so gently to HELP and this man just wants to rip apart like. 500 people. But he's being SO gentle with scar PLEASE just admit you like each other at a more opportune time.

DOC MY BELOVED everyone's my beloved but DOOOOOOOOOOOOOC was not expecting to see Doc here but frankly, so smart to stick some of the characters as '''bad''' guys but have them not be bad. oh my sweet doc my poor man because this coven wants power and lord if Doc isnt power lmao and him telling grian to hide the glyph, I love him

ALSO THEY CLIPPED GRIANS WINGS AND I REALIZE I DIDNT MENTION ANYTHING ABOUT IT EARLIER BUT OH MY GOD

Leave it to Grian to be kidnapped over his blood and be like "I think we can save the turned vampires here, actually". Also frankly, doc's broken things was a great mirror to the utter chaos that happens later on wow

FERAL MUMBO MY BELOVED THERE YOU *ARE* AGHHHHHH YES also Grian just standing there and letting Mumbo kill somebody [well, a lot of somebodies in a sec] magnificent. Perfect. Mumbo really knows how to pick em

God and Scar, also, trying so hard to keep such a level head but you know underneath all of that masking he's doing he's been panicking for god knows how long and is just better at not showing it on his face.

Obsessed w grian "Well I wouldve felt bad for you but. um." sir I love you.

ALSO the way you wrote the chaos of the scene while still including visceral detail is GENIUS and I am taking NOTES because I've got a chaos scene like this in my novel that I have been struggling with and wow wow wow

Also Grian you delightful little bird you are such a GOOD fighter WOW you know, no wonder he killed his gods. He's got the skill to show it.

AND MUMBO JUST RIPPING INTO PEOPLE THIS IS EVERYTHING IVE WAITED FOR AHHH ITS PERFECT I loves him. I loves him your honor. The way he just slowly slips to become more and more inhuman, how he loses himself entirely by the end AH its everything.

Please know that i was sitting here practically screaming "grian let him dribnk your blood GRIAN LET HIM DRINK YOUR BLOOD-" for like a solid minute and then actually had to cover my face with a pillow and scream because SCAR is letting MUMBO drink his BLOOD wow. Did not see it coming yet. It's perfect. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

And poor Doc man, he's just like "Uhhhh yall good" and no. No they are not. I mean yes they are but no. And Mumbo is treating Scar as a mate and just DRANK from his NECK on the old BITE MARK so that it's HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS bite mark now??????????? Gay, your honor. Mates, your honor. GET ENGAGED

I just love that Mumbo, half delirious, is like "Yep. Yep. Right here's good *snatches Scar down*" AND GRIAN JUST SITS THERE IN HIS GAY THOUGHTS WATCH MUMBO *DRINK SCARS NECK FROM AN OLD BITE WOUND OH MY GOD* and hes PLEASED about it, please for the love of god SCAR

There's something about Mumbo being a threat even coming out of a blood loss fueled delirium and lying on the floor that is just magnificent in every way. Hair thrown out behind him, blood still on his lips, still looking like a fucking mess with Grian and Scar trying to collect themselves in a room full of dead vampires, and mumbo is still a *threat* god bless him.

OHOHOHOHOHO hello Scar, tired, need to be in the manor, mhm mhm. Right. I just love that he's like "I finished with this coven business so I've come here to Definitely Just Talk About The Coven Business" right mhm. Obsessed with the fact that grian AND mumbo BOTH offer the manor up too like. MMMMMMMMMMM mmm mmm please the three of you are so deep into it

Mumbo whisking Scar away to make him sleep because everyone including tubbo is lecturing him about sleeping is everything to me. Mumbo, stood in the guest room where Scar sleeps, starting at HIS mark on SCARS neck to replace the Bad Mark tm that was not His AH and to be mixing his feelings between guilt and pride is everything

But also Mumbo proving that he's not totally competent in reading this relationship they've got going on because not only does he wrongly thing that Talking to Scar about his Feelings would push Scar away but also that Grian doesnt feel the same way??? Mumbo please use that fae blood to power your brain

AND THEN TO FINALLY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO MUMBO MY POOR MAN WOW no wonder he's still a threat when he lying on the floor recovering from his injuries, man is threatening. Crush your sire w shadows, perfect. Everything I could have wanted except that I want to crush her again. Poor Mumbo's got PTSD, understandable, but my poor man.

AND THEN THE FACT THAT HE'S RISKING EVERYTHING TO FIND THEM AND FINISH CRUSHING THEM LIKE A BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUG because their very EXISTENCE is a threat to his MATES, PLURAL, EVEN IF HE DOESNT REALIZE IT YET [Well. He does. But he doesn't] MUMBO YOU GLORIOUS CREATURE YOU truly this is the vampire politics that made me love Castlevania I LOVE where this is headed. and the way Grian reacts to this news????? and only makes mumbo love him more??? And then they have their little gay bonding moment of being in love??? everything I couldn't asked for, totally worth being up at 3:30, wow. wow wow wow. I'm gonna try going back to sleep with all of this just racing in my mind.

But also 👀👀👀 I did notice the fact that Grian got withered and it didn't eat through him with nearly the zest it got Scar, and Scar used Fae magic to keep it from eating him alive. Oh Grian, little godlings, whatcha doiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin. between that and his clipped wings Grian is having a TIME and truly I cannot wait for them to awaken whatever is about to happen.

Also. SHOCKED the askbox didn't cut me off. How far down can this thing go.

HAHA me dropping a whole 4 chapters at the same moment <3

My answers might not be as detailed as usual bc I am super tired today and have work in two hours so <3

This one is really long so read more <3

YEAH me too, liminal spaces are just wild and I love them as a setting <3

Ahhhh thank you so much <3 I always think my fight scenes are lacking so this makes me feel better thank you <3 HAHAHA Mumbo and Scar would have never recovered from that <3 <3 <3 It's wild that Grian being kidnapped was the better of the options so <3

Think Grian is going to just lie there and take it? Aw heeellll no <3 He's gonna fight back tooth and talon, which is exactly what he at least tried <3

[Haha blood magic my beloved <3]

OH HO HO YEAH indeed, THEIR favorite Vampire~

Scar be like "level head level head" and Mumbo is just "I am going to tear this town apart" hjfsdjkfsd that's Scar's masking coming in handy again <3 Oh yeah no there is no way Mumbo wouldn't wake up, find Grian gone and start getting anxious about it- no note, no sign that Scar is in town, nothing, just gone? Haha yeah no that won't fly with him they would totally realize something is wrong and Scar take one step in Boatem and is just like "the fu-" hjfdsk ACTUALLY that was the way Scar was going to realize something was happening, but then I wanted to show Mumbo reaching out to Scar about the situation so <3

Mumbo just like "this is faster let's git" lmao it really is, because Scar would have arrived at Boatem like 10-15 minutes later just to find Mumbo absolutely feral and freaking out and panicking worse than he already was <3 Finding blood and GRIAN'S FEATHERS all alone- hfdskjfds

Ahahaha teleportation isn't the most comfortable either, Scar is used to it so hardly notices teleporting (same for Mumbo with shadow walking) but yeah- it was important to me that these two things be different even though they have roughly the same end result <3

This is one of the reasons I had to establish him as being powerful, despite his limitations jgffdlk because mans did a LOT in just a few seconds <3 YEAH in that history lesson I did try to hint a little that it was actual memories they were looking at by the amount of detail/how real it all felt and the fact that it showed events that Scar would actually cut off (figures dissolving into magic moments before their death would have been seen) instead of simply implying like he might have had it been just an illusion so~ It also doubles as a way to emphasize Scar's, and Elves' overall, connection to the world around them, as he's drawing out the memories of the very land beneath their feet so <3 I love writing about Scar using his magic hjfsdlkfds

Scar really saw murder in Mumbo's eyes because his MATE has been TAKEN and HURT and they have no ANSWERS and he trusted Mumbo to not hurt him even in that mad state <3 And he was RIGHT because Mumbo LOVES HIM but Scar doesn't KNOW THAT AND HJFSJKS-

I know the Hermits are PG and I do want to be respectful of that but also these characters are adults and in stressful situations and serious adult relationships, I think they're allowed to say fuck when things are going bad <3 I'm glad it doesn't bother you, I always make sure to put a warning in the tags of the fics that have cursing in them because I do know some people don't like it <3

It was ALSO important I think to remind people how fucked up the Covens can be and that there are other victims besides our lovely trio <3 Doc is just HHHH I love him and want him to be safe and he just wanted to go home to his family but it's far too late for that </3

Blood magic is a very tricky thing, most people fuck it up and Scar certainly did not intend for the glyphs to be activated using blood <3 So one side of the connection is active using blood and his side is not... magic is all about balance <3

YEAH Mumbo even feral and angry and panicked and all murder-y sees Scar in pain and just- hjfdsjkfds so gentle so <3

YEAH THEY DIDN'T WANT HIM TO TRY FLYING AWAY IF HE MANAGED TO ESCAPE JKGDKS

Grian is such a good heart, the moment he realized Doc and some of the other Coven members were victims too he went "save them" and just <3 Haha thank you~! <3 Not like Doc needs them anymore, this mans is getting *therapy*

YEAAHHHHH he finally gets to be feral and tear things apart and remind everyone around him that he's really not human anymore <3 Grian just watches him rip these people apart and is just thinking "my love <3 my hero <3" and then he helps hjflsdkkjfsd

Oh god yeah, imagine if he didn't work for the Council and had never been in this kind of situation before and wasn't nearly as good at masking as he is- oh man he'd be an absolute mess hjfdslkfds-

I mean Grian is such a mood on that, like he sees what looks like a genuinely loving relationship between two Vampires who had him tortured and threatened Mumbo and is just "serves you right" so <3

HJFSJKDSJKFS chaos scenes are so much fun and I just hjfjkds I'm so glad I didn't lose any detail or meaning in the chaos <3 thank you thank you hhhhh <3

If Grian hadn't been taken by surprise and shot in one of the most painful non-lethal places a person can be shot, there wouldn't have been a story because he would have ripped that Vampire apart with his own two hands <3

YEAH he keeps just enough sense to keep track of Grian and Scar but he is not human anymore and this really highlights it and they both love him anyway and just want to help him and hjfhjdj <3 And he's feral and angry and so protective and just hjfdjs

HAHA I had originally planned on Grian letting Mumbo feed on him but A, he's so injured and even as a godling his blood isn't that much different from a Natural's right now so it would take a LOT of his blood to heal Mumbo, and B, I don't want Mumbo to know yet that Grian has the hints of non-Natural blood <3

Scar was silently freaking out about it bc he was about to let a Vampire feed on him, even though he's recently had a traumatic run-in with being unwillingly fed on, but it's MUMBO and Mumbo is too injured to safely move and Mumbo is also in this feral semi-conscious semi-catatonic state and he TRUSTS Mumbo to not hurt him and really it's just a little bite on the arm no big deal a little Fae blood to help heal his wounds faster right-

YEAH HAHA Grian is just like "woah wait oh my god" and Scar is panicking because the man he loves is biting him on the NECK and Grian is just WATCHING and they're both having very Gay Thoughts about this and just hjfgdsjkfg GRIAN THINKING IN THAT TWISTED LITTLE HEAD OF HIS just PLEASED that Mumbo has basically marked Scar with a very visible bite on his neck and now when he looks at that scar they're all gonna remember MUMBO biting him instead and just hjgfdsjkgds they're all such disasters I'm-

Doc really be like "tf did I just witness I think I should be scared and I think I am ok he's hissing at me to leave I better leave before I die ok" hjfdslkfgds mans has had a hard life and even being rescued he gets the bad end of the stick hjgfdjkfgd

YEAH HAHA Scar offer his arm and Mumbo being semi-conscious just looks at him like tf no and then, cuz Scar was wearing his work clothes including his hair braided down his back and his neck was exposed, seeing that old bite mark from a different Vampire and just HJSVFJKS I may have hinted before that Mumbo would do that hehe <3

Oh god yes, that's the power of absolutely being a Lord and a proper Lord at that- none of this rinky dinky weak-ass mofos relying on their mates or the twisted ones who send their followers to their deaths, he is protective and he is a THREAT at all moments, don't get too close on a normal day but when he's like this- hjfdjkfds literally bleeding out on the floor and Doc knows not to get anywhere near close hjkfgdsl

Hahaha and they really went "nope <3 sleep" lmao Scar is so tired and needs so much rest <3 HAHA "offered" that was a fucking demand <3 I feel like you're gonna go absolutely feral the first time Scar ends up sleeping in Mumbo's bed hjfdslkfs THEY ARE SO DEEP IN <3

Scar, being an Elf and only sleeping once every five days, being lectured about the importance of the very little sleep he already gets <3 Mumbo just being like "yeah time to go to sleep come on" and just hjkfdk HE FEELS GUILTY FOR DOING IT BECAUSE SCAR OFFERED HIS ARM NOT HIS NECK BUT HE ISN'T SORRY HE DID IT AND JUST HJFSDKJS now it's HIS mark and jhfklkluglf-

HJKFHSKJFDJLKFS YEAH lmao <3 he thinks Grian would be against it because he's a possessive little bird but he hasn't yet realized that Grian would be for it BECAUSE he's a possessive little bird jfgdlsf ALSO he's not 100% wrong about it pushing Scar away, bc Scar is oblivious and doesn't realize Grian's caught feelings too so if either of them confess without the other all he sees is his best friends' partner confessing to him without him knowing that they BOTH feel this way and Scar loves them but he isn't that kind of person </3 So Mumbo is absolutely right that Scar would have distanced himself out of respect for Grian, they BOTH have to tell him at the same time or else Scar will feel like he's hurting their relationship and just fhjkdsgjkds-

Mumbo won't let them take everything away from him again <3 magic when it is first developing can be a scary and unpredictable thing <3 Mumbo is terrifying, he's a threat and he's oh so protective and even other Vampires are low key afraid of him, the first time he ever used his shadow magic he DESTROYED his Sire, and he may have taken out some of the Coven on his way out <3

HE WILL PROTECT THEM NO MATTER WHAT even if it puts him on that Coven's radar again <3 he absolutely intends to finish what he started nearly five centuries ago, this man will take on the world if it means his new family will be safe <3

Grian, who knows nothing of Vampire politics or values, hearing Mumbo confess to all this and just being like "you were well within your right and I don't blame you, I will stay by your side no matter what" and just cfjykfif Mumbo falls even more in love and gnkfdnhg lays it all out for him to hear, loves everything from his greatest strengths to his greatest flaws and they are equally matched in their love and just fnfjgjifgkf

Haha well I hope you slept well after all this <3 I was up til 3 am to post it so I understand hahaha <3

👀 👀 haha Grian is suffering rn but one day he'll make them pay <3 I can't wait for the moment he 'awakens' it's gonna be so much fun gdgnnhfg

Tumblrs ask box has no power over the feral Mumbo enjoyer <3 haha ngl this took me an hour to answer I'm literally finishing it on the car ride to work and this delights me <3

[skiller0dani]

Bad Girl| Ethan Nestor

MASTERLIST YouTube Masterlist

smut requested requests info

hey guys it's been a while! Got this amazing request recently and I had to write it asap. love you all xx

Ethan didn't have many rules for you, but the most important one by far was to not bother him while he's streaming.

With the two of you keeping your relationship a secret there's just too much that can go wrong. He's live so if you came into the room, people could hear, rumors could start. More than anything Ethan wants to protect you so you coming into his recording room while he's streaming is completely out of the question. Normally you respected this rule without question, it was his YouTube channel after all, so he got to call the shots. More than that however, Ethan called the shots in other aspects of your life.

When it came to the sex, he called the shots in that too. But you always did what he said, and frankly, you felt like being a bad girl.

All day you've needed him, from the very second you woke up and the gentle morning sex he'd provided wasn't nearly enough to satiate you. You still felt that uncomfortable throbbing from between your thighs, and it lingered for most of the day. Any attempt you made to get his cock resulted in a soft kiss on the head and a "sorry baby I'm too busy today."

You laid back on the couch, irked to all hell. How could Ethan not see that he was depriving you? You pushed the heel of your hands into your eyes and groaned, your pussy was damp and aching and there wasn't a damn thing you could do about it. Spencer sat happily at your feet chewing on a squeaky bone. At least one of you was happy.

You heard Ethan laugh from inside his recording room, he was currently streaming Among Us. You feel so frustrated you want to cry and when you glance at the clock you feel like crying all over again. It's only 1:30, and Ethan is only 20 minutes into his stream. Meaning at this rate Ethan won't be able to help you until later tonight. You whined to yourself, snaking your hand under the sleep shorts you were wearing. Your fingers found your clit and you began to rub small circles just like Ethan does. It does little to nothing to relieve the pounding in your core. Only Ethan can.

You stand from your spot on the couch to go grab a bottle of water, hoping that some cold water will help calm you down. You lean against the counter, sipping at the cold water when you remember the night before. Ethan had come home from filming with someone he doesn't know very well. The recording session was frustrating and he hadn't gotten any good footage, meaning the entire day was a giant waste of time. By the time Ethan had gotten back to the house he was beyond frustrated and the first thing he did was bend you over the kitchen counter and slam into you mercilessly. You feel a shudder run down your spine at the memory and you groan softly in annoyance. You're not going to survive the day like this.

You went upstairs and into your shared room with Ethan and sat on the edge of the bed, you're always such a good girl. You followed every rule and every command without too much complaint. And today Ethan told you to wait. His rule today was to be a good girl and wait for his cock until that night. But damnit you're so turned on right now you feel like you're going to combust into flames.

You don't want to be a good girl today. You feel like breaking the rules.

With a smirk you stand from the bed and creep down the hallway, nearing his recording room. Once you're stood outside the door you feel a rush of adrenaline rush through you, you've never broken this rule before. In all 12 months of your relationship with Ethan, you've never interrupted him while he's live streaming. You almost turn back but when you hear Ethan groan in annoyance it sends tingles down your spine and a fresh wave of arousal dampening your panties. Gritting your teeth you quietly open the door and watch as Ethan's surprised eyes flicker to you for a second.

You bite your lip and sink to the floor, luckily Ethan's desk doesn't have a back so you easily crawl underneath it.

Being careful not to bump the desk you slowly crawl in between Ethan's legs, and he instinctively spreads his legs wider for you. When he glances back down at you, you feel heat rush through your entire body at the angry look in his eyes. He raises a warning brow before turning back to the game and for a second you consider leaving, but the pulsing from between your legs stops you. You bite your lip and reach forward, carefully unbuttoning Ethan’s jeans and slowly pulling his zipper down. 

Ethan tenses, his heart hammering in his chest as he does his best to act natural. This isn’t a regular video, he can’t edit anything out. This is being broadcasted live to nearly a million people. When he feels your dainty hands reaching into his jeans he sucks in a breath through his teeth. 

“Ethan you okay?” Bob asks, unfortunately for Ethan they decided to play Among Us with proximity chat on. Ethan clears his throat, “yeah stubbed my toe.” He lies but he knows it doesn’t sound very convincing. 

You wrap your hand around his hardening cock and you nearly moan when you finally free it from his jeans. The sight of it makes you even more wet then you were before, it’s hard and precumming. It’s beautiful. You lean forward instantly and wrap your lips around the head, sucking softly. Ethan clenches his jaw as he focuses all of his attention on the game in front of him. He keeps his eyes firmly on the screen because he knows if he looks at you it’s game over. Ethan would end the stream and have you bent over this desk in less than 30 seconds if he saw the beautiful sight happening under the desk. 

You keep your lips wrapped around him as you suddenly take all of him in your mouth. Ethan gasps softly in surprise, and this is when he notices the comments on his stream. 

Ethan flashes a smile to the camera, doing his best to pretend he doesn’t notice that every single comment is about him and not about the game. Embarrassment floods through Ethan’s body as he keeps his eyes on his monitor. You continue to slide him down your throat, and Ethan’s eyes briefly flutter shut. When one comment pops up, Ethan panics. 

what’s wrong Ethan???  he looks like he’s in pain  someone should tell the other people on the stream bc ethan does not look okay right now ethan are you okay? 

Shit. Ethan continues to ignore the comments, when did his fan base become little detectives? You bob your head down the full length of his cock, taking him into your mouth fully. It’s becoming increasingly harder to keep the sounds quiet so that nobody notices. When you swallow around him Ethan groans softly, “fuck.” 

does eef have a girl over?? ;)  omg ethan’s totally getting sucked off rn ngl ethan looks super fucking hot 

“Ethan?” This time it’s Mark. You pull off Ethan and smirk as you pump his cock with your hand. The arousal is coating your thighs at this point and you nearly moan out loud just thinking about what Ethan is going to do to you after this. 

“Ethan I’m getting some pretty interesting comments on my stream about you,” Jack says with a teasing tone to his voice. Ethan remains quiet, he doesn’t trust himself to say anything casually. “Got some company Ethan?” Jack says causing a chorus of laughter to ensue afterwards while everyone waits for another round to start. “His silence is...suspicious.” Steven adds through the laughter. 

Unable to focus any longer, Ethan releases a breath he’d been holding as he finally glances down at you. The sight before him stops him cold, you’re sitting on your knees with his cock in your mouth. Your breasts are spilling from the tight tank top you’re wearing and he can see the damp spot forming on the crotch of your shorts. His pupils blow wide as he quickly ends the stream and turns off the camera. The second he’s sure everything is shut off he pushes back from the desk and yanks you to your feet. 

“You think that was funny?” Ethan growls when he sees the smirk on your face. In an instant Ethan has you pulled over his lap, “you think it was funny to suck my cock when I was live? I can’t cover any of that up baby.” Ethan says, his voice low as his hands find the waistband of your shorts. 

“I need you.” You whined as he yanked your shorts down. Ethan hummed in satisfaction once he sees your glistening pussy. “Yes I can see that.” He hums, spreading your lips apart so he can look at you better. 

“I just fucked you this morning baby girl, you couldn’t wait? I’m pretty sure I told you to wait until tonight.” He says, the dominance beginning to seep into his tone. You moaned in delight when you feel Ethan spank you hard. “I couldn’t wait Ethan, I needed you now.” You explain, with a pout on your face. 

“Now all my friends know what a dirty girl you are, and now so do all my fans as well. We aren’t going to be a secret anymore baby, you just outed us.” Ethan explains, his fingertips brushing through your folds. You whine desperately as you try to grind back into his hand, but he pulls away. “It was time baby, oh my god Ethan please just fuck me please.” You plead shamelessly. 

Ethan continues to rub the globes of your ass as you moan and wriggle in his lap, “hm I’m not sure you deserve it now baby. You didn’t listen to me, I’m not sure you deserve my cock anymore.” He says, a small smirk on his face when he sees the look of pure desperation cross onto your face. “No Ethan please, I’ll listen now. I-I will I promise baby!” Ethan taps on your hip, signaling you to stand. Once your stood in front of him you moan again, you’ve never seen him look sexier then he does right now. 

His hair is messy and his chest his heaving, but the best part is between his legs. His cock is hard and his legs are spread wide, and the heated look Ethan is giving you makes you want to melt into the floor. “Go wait for me in our room.” Is all Ethan says, and you immediately scramble out of the room and down to hall to yours and Ethan’s bedroom. You sit on the bed and anxiously wait for him, your entire body buzzing in anticipation. When 10 agonizing minutes pass Ethan finally opens the door, his jeans still opened. “I’ve thought of a fitting punishment for you Princess.” 

Ethan walks to his side of the bed before sitting down, pulling you to stand in front of him. “Since you don’t seem to like my rules, why don’t you be in charge then baby?” Your heart sinks, and you immediately shake your head. 

“But I love it when you’re in control, I love following your rules.” You argue but Ethan shakes his head with a teasing smile on his face. 

“I seem to have lost my authority, you don’t listen to me anymore baby. So you try being in charge, tell me what to do.” Ethan reaches forward and yanks you towards him. You fall against his chest, your lips a hairs length from him, “boss me around.” He whispers and you swallow a thick lump in your throat. You stand again, feeling anxious and unsure of what to do. Normally Ethan tells you what to do, but he just relinquished all control to you and you already hate it. 

Ethan watches with knowing eyes, he knows already that you have no idea what to do. “Well? What do you want me to do baby?” Ethan asks, watching the blush crawl up your neck and tint the edges of your ears. You tremble, “um...I-” you feel your throat close as tears well in your eyes. In a second Ethan is pulling you into his arms, smoothing your hair down and pressing kisses to your head. You melt into his embrace while he mumbles loving words into your hair. “I’m sorry baby I didn’t mean to upset you.” Ethan whispers, pressing soft kisses to your head. 

“Is that how you felt on the stream? Embarrassed?” You ask hesitantly and to your dismay, Ethan nods. 

“Kinda, but it’s okay baby.” You lean up to press a kiss to his lips. 

“I’ve learned my lesson, I promise. I know why you make those rules now.” You say softly and Ethan brushes hair out of your face with a small smile. “Can you be in charge again?” Instead of answering Ethan flashes you a smile before pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

“Lay down baby.” In an instant the heat floods through your body again as you scramble to lay down on the bed. Ethan stands and swiftly yanks his shirt over his head, and motions for you to do the same. Sitting up you quickly pull your shirt off, watching as Ethan kicks his jeans and boxers off as well. Ethan hovers over you, and you feel his cock nudging at your entrance and in an instant you spread your legs wider for him. Ethan slides just the head of his cock into you and he stills. You wriggle your hips, “Ethan please,” You beg in a gasp. 

Cupping your cheeks, Ethan turns your head to look him in the eyes. “No more bothering me while I’m live got it?” He says and you nod instantaneously. With one sharp thrust, Ethan slides the rest of the way in and both of you release a moan. Pressing his lips to yours he begins to thrust into you and you feel the heat building already. You wrap your legs around him, locking your ankles behind his back as he slowly picks up speed. Ethan pulls out, “bend over.” He gasps and you move to bend over the bed, already missing the stretch his cock provided. As soon as you’re bent over in front of him, Ethan grasps your hips and thrusts back into you. 

Your face is pressed into the bed as you cry out softly, Ethan slamming into you again and again. “Fucking took my dick in your mouth in front of the entire world, you’re lucky they only saw me. If anyone else saw how beautiful you look with a cock in your mouth I think I’d lose my mind.” Ethan growls and you can only moan in response as your fists twist the sheets in your hands. You feel the coil in your abdomen winding tighter and tighter and when Ethan reaches around your body to softly pinch your clit you’re crying out and convulsing around him, leading him to his orgasm as well. You collapse against the bed and Ethan rubs a hand up and down your back before gently pulling out with a wince. 

He helps you into bed and lays down next to you, pulling your bare body against his chest. “I’m sorry I embarrassed you.” You say softly, but Ethan merely presses a kiss to your lips. 

“Only a little, I couldn’t be bothered too much I mean you were sucking my dick. Doesn’t get better than that.” Ethan shrugs, causing you to blush. You sit up when Ethan stands from the bed, reaching around for his clothes. 

“Now if your unusually high sex drive has been fully satisfied, I have some explaining to do.” Ethan teases, causing you to giggle. With a kiss to your sweaty forehead Ethan is exiting the room, and you lay back against the bed with the widest smile stretched across your face. 

[expired-blueberries]

wrt that post- in it you brought up the point that OS Kevin 11k was the point he was farthest gone, and I LOVE that, but thinking about what he must've gone through to get to that point... oh, god. (this isn't like an entire point or anything lmfao i just had to bring it up bc it drives me insane)

anyway, knowing what we know/assume of kevins life, assuming that his "parents" are rooters... it honestly brings to mind the question of if he would even WANT to reconnect with his birth family... like, especially however long hes been gone from them (in my mind, him being gone from them for even longer would be good because it would erase any prior memories he has of them, like, say, if he was taken as a baby, then of course he would know hes had his powers since he was a baby but wouldnt know what his birth parents look like), that would be sure to make it hard to go back, for a multitude of reasons. they couldve moved, something couldve happened to him since he was gone... or, the one i think he would be MOST afraid of... they arent good people. sure, they arent rooters, but what if theyre bad people? what if by reconnecting with them he would just be jumping back into the fire? offering himself up as the proverbial golden goose? a sheep to the wolves? even if, say, he has GOOD memories of them, has only been apart from them for a few years, i almost venture to think he might be wary to reconnect just because his trust in, well... EVERYTHING would be completely shattered. of course, that could also be the REASON he would want to reconnect, since if he remembers them being good people then he would be desperate to surround himself with them, surround himself with whats REAL. but either way, i think the fear would be there. i think he would think he has to do it alone, while simultaneously needing someone to be there with him. (i think it would have to be ben - gwen is a great girl to bring home to your parents, but she isnt the most reassuring person in the world one on one. she would probably ring the doorbell before he even had a chance to collect his nerves).

as for kevins mom... while great that kevin could at least unlock her memories with ease and not have to worry about her believing him or having to convince her... for her, specifically, what a fuckin hellacious thing to deal with. like, she GRIEVED HER HUSBAND, she MARRIED A PIECE OF SHIT GUY (and ill ignore every wog statement saying that she got with him before devin died idgaf lol) AFTER HE DIED, her SON got RUN OUT OF HIS HOME BY HIM (and also maybe her, maybe,)... and it was all for what? so that her son could be tortured, used, abused, treated more like cattle than human. though it wasnt something, im sure, she could have prevented, being only human and without knowledge of those plans or access to any tech which could prevent it from happening, i feel like she would HAVE to blame herself. its not her fault, but what emotions would she even have left? 17 years of life down the gutter, and all she was was a forgettable rook on the board. even if she doesnt blame herself, just the fact that she would have to come to terms with her life being so severely and majorly fucked with... if she finds herself turning to a vice or twenty, though i would worry for her, i certainly couldnt blame her for it. and, too, if harvey were a rooter and she werent, learning that she MARRIED one of her sons tormentors.... woof. get the woman a drink.

(max's history with his partners is so insane to me in a good way. he has an AWFUL track record with partners. phil, victor, devin.... phil, it seems he either wasnt aware of being a piece of shit back when they originally worked together or it wasnt as bad and maybe max even worked with him in the bullshit a few times, because, frankly, max isnt an angel as we well know, and though i hate to say he would do something awful... well, he was more-or-less an absent father to his own children and seemingly wilfully stayed away from helping his dead partners son, so the shoe might fit. and while max might have grown as a person somewhat after the plumbers disbanded, the bar was pretty low. and then, you have victor, who... stole the nanochips. not the worst offense i guess (ignoring the catastrophe that couldve been unleashed on the world and even universe had the swarm grown more), but max did personally train him, so, uh..... and then devin, who didnt do anything wrong but also died in the line of action. seems like if you want to survive as a plumber, your best bet is to do things wrong - and, if i may be so bold, i would venture thats the truth. remember the boot camp uaf episode, where ben was awarded a medal and good grades for constantly ignoring the rules and his instructor? compare that to his partner/friend, tack, who nearly had his arm taken off by a bomb if ben hadnt saved him? if you want to be good and be a plumber, i guess you wont live long. this topic kind of went off on a splinter route for me lmfao but original point: max is fucking awful at keeping partners lmfao mr. commitment-phobic over here. i cant remember if it was said whether he trained driscoll or not, too, but damn... can you imagine lmfao)

back to the original point of the convo... well, at least one that we mentioned in the original point; i feel especially that argit's going back to the general street rat way he was, in color of monkey and also in the future when hes a corrupt politician... i dont know, it seems like they dont know how to write neutral-leaning-good characters. either theyre good or theyre bad. by the time argit was the president of the world (still a weird choice in my eyes but whatever), he should have fully been comfortable with being good and kind and all that stuff. he even knows kenny well enough for kenny to call him UNCLE ARGIT and give him a hug when they see each other!!! hes close to the tennysons!!! its just... weird choices. if ben doesnt like argit, which it seems he doesnt in the future, why does argit know his kid? what?

"We don't even know how much of Kevin over the course of UAF and OV is actually Kevin" - damn thats fucking chilling. who IS kevin when he isnt being manipulated and puppeted around? who IS kevin when hes free to be himself, all the good, all the bad, all the undeniably HIM that he wants to be? i dont think cannon or wog would ever say that kevin wasnt his authentic self (as much as he could be) during the series, because that would just leave too much unanswered and then they would have to spend time on him and not on ben, the main character of the ben show, but god... can you imagine? at the start of ov, he left bellwood. by the end of ov, i can see him leaving friedkin, just so he can really go and find himself. for a while, being around ANY tennyson might create some complicated feelings for him. but no! we dont see it! we dont see any lingering effects! kevin is still kevin, just kevin who is, i guess, free of brainwashing! dont think about how he still becomes 11k! dont think about how even after all of this, this STILL isnt the end of the bullshit for him! dont think about how kevin is, without a doubt, the most favoritest and specialest little punching bag wog has!! dont!!!

Annoying thing with the Rooters arc is that we never do find out what the fuck the Rooters had planned in the long run. Because the first-and-foremost matter is destroying Ben, yes, but Servantis may as well be holding up a big glowing neon sign saying "this is step three in a greater, larger plan". He grabs Kevin in the first episode of the arc and is talking about using him to make more amalgams, when discussing Kevin seemingly coming back into the fold he describes him as 'coming along nicely' like this is just a step in his training, when he sends the kids out after him in the flashback he refers to the Rooters 'subtle manipulations' and how Ben can't fuck them up, he's literally forming a group of hybrid child soldiers as if he couldn't just snipe the fucking 10-yo as he walks out of his elementary school, or fucking recruit him like the Plumbers already end up doing.

This is not shit you get from someone whose entire deal is 'this one child is too dangerous to live'! You don't see 'child has superweapon' and go 'well then I'll have to transform myself, my staff, and a host of children into hybrids through painful experiments and then train and damn near mindcontrol the children into going and killing the kid'. You don't talk about plans for making more, you don't talk like when the chips are down the big problem is the kid might get in your way, or like the kids you've sent out to kill him are still in training.

These fuckers had Intentions and Plots and they got completely dismantled before we could get an actual answer on what they were longterm.

[thosch3i]

Hi hi! So the lost tombs and chronology all super confuse me. So tlt2 ended on a cliffhanger that was not resolved by tlt3 which is ultimate note, but now there is another tlt3 that I am guessing is made by the same studio as tlt2 (but not UN) that actually follows tlt2? And it has the same WPZ as tlt2 (but sadly different WX, ZQL though I’m sure these guys are great). You seem to know what you’re talking about so I’m hoping you can help!

UN also ended on a cliff hanger so I’m wondering if they’ll get a sequel from their studio that comes before tomb of the sea.

ahhh hello anon! yes ahaha the dmbj dramas are certainly very confusing--because they keep switching the screenwriters/entire production team between dramas. huanrui did tlt1 (2015), tlt2 (2019), and the sequel to tlt2 (2021). they're also technically the production company for un (2020), but linghe did like all the directing/casting/writing so its significantly different in tone and quality from the other dramas huanrui produced. npss (dmbj author) did sha hai (2018) and tltr (2020), with sha hai being in collab with linghe, so you can see lots of parallels with un and shared cast. (gonna add that i dont know much about the m9 because that’s not what im personally interested in, so i’m only going by stories with wu xie & the iron triangle.)

unfortunately, the dramas pretty have no continuity as a result of all the weird shit and multiple studios doing different dramas and messy stuff going on behind the scenes. the author's production company currently has all the rights back for filming future dramas, which is......imo, a good thing for book fans who love the author but a 😬 thing for book fans who like the original story more than what the author is now doing with it. I'll uh avoid saying too much opinion stuff though so no more on that 😅

that aside! yes 云顶天宫 “explore with the note” part 2......is the direct sequel to tlt2 and done by the same studio. unfortunately the writers are different and im not sure how much of the production team is the same either. idk how much you know about the novels so brief summary here--for the chinese version, the main story has 9 parts split among 8 books (though the official eng tls have each part being a different book) with some important content being as follows:

official eng title “cavern of blood zombies” (first time wx goes into a tomb, first t3j meeting)

official eng title “angry sea, hidden sands” (xisha seabed tomb, introduce a-ning)

official eng title “bronze tree of death” (bronze tree in qinling, wx & lao yang solo adventure)

official eng title “palace of doom” (heavenly palace on the clouds, introduce bronze gate)

official eng title “deadly desert winds” (golmud, introduce hei xiazi, desert, rainforest, tamutuo)

official eng title “graveyard of a queen” (the rest of that arc, wu sanxing & xie lianhuan reveal, jade meteorite, amnesiac xiaoge and escape, sanshu vanishes for good--also i think the official eng tl covers a couple chapters of the beginning of the next part too)

阴山古楼 (searching for xiaoge’s memories in banai, miluotuo cave, i think introduction of wu erbai)

邛笼石影 (auction/hotel iron triangle fight, introduce xiao hua & xiuxiu, wx & xh on the mountains alone while pz & xg go with granny huo)

finale (rescue from zhang family mansion, changbai mountain goodbye, 10 years promise)

after the main story are the main sequels:

zang hai hua (tibetan sea flower; unfinished & abandoned) covers wu xie a few years after xiaoge has entered the gate, searching to understand xiaoge’s past

sha hai (tomb of the sea; unfinished & abandoned) covers wu xie’s plan to wipe out the wang family, after zhh

chongqi (reunion: the sound of the providence) covers wu xie’s lung disease and how he recovers from that, set after they pick up xiaoge again from the bronze gate. thunder city and everything.

灯海寻尸&万山极夜 (still updating on wechat) don’t worry about this one since it’s still a WIP lol

btw between sha hai and chongqi there’s also ten years later (a short story) that covers how wu xie and pangzi pick up xiaoge from the bronze gate and take him home

the dramas Do Not Connect To Each Other At All, which the exception of tlt2 & tlt2 pt2 somewhat, but they go in this order:

盗墓笔记 / the lost tomb 1 (2015): covers part 1 but with major OCs and filler, and includes the auction scene from part 8 for some reason, so introduces xiao hua early.

怒海潜沙&秦岭神树 / the lost tomb 2 (2019) technically “explore with the note”: covers parts 2 & 3 but with major OCs and filler, introduces xiao hua & xiuxiu (and hei xiazi briefly) early. last couple episodes also cover the beginning of part 4. not a direct sequel to tlt1 despite being done by the same studio.

云顶天宫 / heavenly palace on the clouds (2021) technically also “explore with the note”: covers part 4 with major OCs and filler (and the same changes carrying over from tlt2). some episodes are identical to the last couple episodes of tlt2. works as a direct sequel only if you ignore the last couple episodes of tlt2 that take place in the snowy mountains. (those episodes of tlt2 were filmed after this drama was filmed, and im still not sure why they dragged the wu xie and xiaoge from tlt2 back to changbai mountain to film those episodes.)

终极笔记 / ultimate note (2020): covers parts 5-8 with minor OCs and minimal filler, also introduces xiao hua & xiuxiu early. the only adaptation that resembles its source material most of the time.

沙海 / tomb of the sea (2018): covers the second sequel with major OCs and filler. includes some bits from zhh and the short story “three days of silence”.

重启之极海听雷 / the lost tomb reboot (2020): covers third sequel with major OCs and filler.

in addition there is the prequel series mystic nine (2016) and side movies for the dramas that the author produced. there is also a single standalone movie--time raiders (2016) that is....well it’s. very strange. it’s fully subbed on youtube if you’re interested?

the best way to watch the dramas is to assume each one is its own self-contained AU set along different points of the dmbj timeline because even the dramas the author himself worked on don’t have continuity LOL (and with the exception of ultimate note & sha hai most of the time, also assume most characters are pretty OOC from the novels).

i uh regret to inform you though, that ultimate note will not be getting a sequel unless the author magically decides to not care about making money anymore and sells the rights to film the finale to linghe or something ^^;;;; it’s....unfortunate bc un is the most highly-rated dmbj adaptation on douban by A Lot, but it’s an adaptation that the author had literally nothing to do with whatsoever.

more information on some of the side movies/stage plays/manhua/donghua here.

summaries of the main novel stories (currently through zhh) here.

edited mtl (some of which has apparently been looked over by native cn speakers) of the novels following where official eng tls end here. (there are many scattered extras as well.)

you can get the official eng tl books/ebooks on amazon or elsewhere(?), but if you have problems purchasing them or like you just dont wanna support amazon or something, dm me off anon. (also i dont want to be mean but frankly the official tls are kinda bad too ^^;;;)

a rough timeline (spoilers galore) for the dmbj novels here. (fair warning im not 100% sure how accurate all of this is--they put three days of silence as 1991 but looking at the info in zhh, it seems like it should have been before the 1950s...but it’s more than fine as a general overview.)

anyway i hope that was helpful in some way? dmbj is a Very Confusing thing to get into ahahaha, one of my twitter mutuals has made a few carrds if you think they might be helpful: book, dramas (slightly out of date bc it says heavenly palace hasn’t aired yet), ultimate note (got its own carrd by virtue of being the only adaptation aside from sha hai sometimes that most og book fans acknowledge lol ^^;;;)

also anon if anything wasn’t clear or if you had more questions feel free to ask again sorry ahahaha im kinda tired rn @.@