#bc as much as i want billy to run away from his dad and be strong

[bigdumbbambieyes]

i heard the Lolita 1997 audio that’s Dolores screaming at Humbert and immediately imagined:

Billy being caught with Steve by Neil and immediately losing it, yelling and taunting his father for his gayness, for the way he loves a boy when he isn’t supposed to, watching the way Neil’s face turns red and his father is so close to snapping because Billy’s disrespect and disappointment is reaching new heights

so in the height of his breakdown, Billy screams through tears and a raw, trembling voice, as if he’s begging, ‘murder me! murder me like you murdered my mother!’

and if it weren’t for Steve, Billy would’ve died that night

[serialadoptersbracket]

Round 2, Match 30: Kazuma Kiryu vs. Yuugo and Lucas

Submitted kids:

Kazuma Kiryu: Haruka, Ayako, Eri, Riona, Izumi, Taichi, Koji, Mitsuo, and Shiro

Yuugo and Lucas: My guy. [They have] like 60. I'm not gonna list them all.

Propaganda under the cut! (Spoilers ahead!)

Kazuma Kiryu:

1. “There's a pretty big section of one of the game that's entirely about taking care of all those kids and it's all really sweet !”

2. “How the fuck did he get 9. There’s like 6-8 games where he’s the main character and he adopts haruka rlly early, but then in one game in the middle of the series, in the beginning like opening scenes he’s like avtually fuck it I’m adopting an ENTIRE orphanage/eight WHOLE children. (not a bit like. He actually did that) he’s the silliest billy badass old man. Grampy Kiryu also, bc haruka has a kid now.”

Yuugo and Lucas:

Yuugo: “I LOVE THIS RAT MAN SO MUCH ok so he starts off not wanting anything to do with these 15 children (ik i said 60 but they come later) who showed up at his doorstep because yk his entire family was killed and he's afraid of loving someone in the same way again. So he tries to push them away but oh boy these kids are clingy and also they found the emergency detonator and threatened him with blowing up his house.

Here's the thing though one character arc, the reuniting with his friend who he thought was long dead, and the rescue of an entire hunting ground full of kids later raising these kids literally becomes his new purpose in life. Along with Lucas (his aforementioned friend who I'm convinced is married to him) he helps teach them everything he knows about surviving in such a hostile world, things he himself had to learn the hard way which cost a lot of his loved ones his life. Before these kids showed up he was hopeless and without purpose. He didn't know why he was still alive and even contemplated ending it all. But all this changed when he adopted these kids.

Lucas: Anyway imagine watching your entire family die in front of you because you got trapped in a human hunting ground run by man eating demons, so you start a rebellion by recruiting kids in the hunting ground and teach them how to use guns among other things. That's what Lucas did!! :D

Anyway it's pretty much confirmed that he's the kids' confirmed dad, there's like 2 scenes where they outright call him their father. But I disgress.

Much of what I said in the Yuugo propaganda applies to him as well, he teaches the kids all he knows about survival which he had to learn the hard way and would protect them with his life. The difference is he's been doing the parent thing for a lot longer, he literally RAISED the Goldy Pond kids.

Both: First off: gay marriage. Second: The way they know exactly what it's like to lose loved ones due to inexperience and how they went "yeah no way in Hell this is gonna happen to these kids we're gonna prepare them for The Horrors" was a 2 person thing you think it's easy to take care of 60 children and homeschool them? Third: This is spoilers btw. They go and do a Die Hard (infiltrate a building that's been completely overtaken by the enemy and take it back from the inside) just so their children wouldn't have to live with the trauma of killing an actual human being.

I wish they were my dads.”

[toxicanonymity]

raider and lincoln x lana

I love getting song comparisons. 🖤 ik there are some i haven't posted bc i don't know them and wanna check them out first to add context like @javier-penas-wifexx420 has done here.

Raider Joel Joel saves you from his men but claims you as his own and takes you with him. Left in Lincoln (dbf x virgin) He's a neighbor your dads trust to look in on you while they seek treatment for Frank.

@javier-penas-wifexx420 asked:

DUDE ok so I remembered what someone said abt what lana songs the jolkemons are. I feel like specifically Raider and Lincoln are so lana coded. Raider is ultraviolence and Lincoln in honeymoon.

I feel like Raider being Ultraviolence is pretty understandable bc of how he his and how he treats the reader. Songs that really remind me of him are

ultraviolence- “he hurt me but it felt like true love.” “Loving him was never enough”

shades of cool- “I can’t fix him, can’t make him better”

Sad girl- “but you haven’t seen my man…he’s got the fire and he walks with it”

Pretty when you cry- OFC RAIDERS DACRYPHILLIA HE THINKS WERE SO PRETTY WHEN WE CRY

old money- “those summer nights seem long ago, so is the girl you used to call the queen of New York City” reminds me of how sweet pea is really disconnected from her old self and her old life, she belongs to Joel now so that’s like her only identity. Sad but also kinda hot🤪

“If you send for me you know I’ll come and if you call for me you know I’ll run.” Sweet pea is at the point where she’ll listen to anything he says and will do whatever he wants, she’ll follow him anywhere and honestly same.

And NOW, Lincoln and honeymoon. I feel like this one isn’t as obvious and some ppl might disagree with me but NO. Lincoln IS honeymoon. Honeymoon is one of Lana’s most treasured albums and if you really listen to it and focus on the subject matter it can be argued that it’s darker than ultraviolence. And while Lincoln Joel seems really sweet and loving, just like how honeymoon comes across, he’s actually really dark and just as dangerous, if not more than Raider. The album honeymoon describes intense and passionate love, kind of IRRATIONAL you could say. The album outlines just wanting to get away with your lover and be together forever *cough lincoln*

I feel like honeymoon displays a sort of desperation and a willingness to do anything one needs in order to be with their lover and I think that’s reflective of both Joel and peaches. Also in the music video for one of the songs on the album lana drinks kool-aid which is a reference to heaven’s gate and i feel like the whole expression of “drinking the kool-aid” is very accurate of left in Lincoln cause peaches is def drinking that fucking kool-aid.

Also honeymoon takes a lot of influence from older music styles, older aesthetics (the art deco aesthetic from the 20s) and in general older references and since Lincoln is almost 60 i feel like it fits him. Honeymoon is rlly jazzy and I’m p sure you said he likes jazz lol. Lana mentions Billie holiday in one of the songs and Joel would def play Billie holiday for peaches.

THE SONGS

honeymoon: “we both know the history of violence that surrounds you, but I’m not scared there’s nothing to lose now that I’ve found you”

Freak: “life makes sense when I’m with you. Looking back my past it all seems stranger than a stranger” THIS IS SO PEACHES BRO LIKE WHAT. Honestly freak is very much a left in Lincoln song. Anyway.

Religion: “you’re my religion, you’re how I’m livin…when I’m down on my knees you’re how I pray” very them, Joel is in charge of everything, peaches answers to him, looks up to him for everything. He’s her whole life now

The blackest day: “ever since my baby went away, it’s been the blackest day”

This song is one of the most left in Lincoln songs, I imagine this part references jessie leaving and her being all alone without him.

“Because I’m going deeper and deeper, darker and darker, harder and harder. Looking for love in all the wrong places.” After she was left in Lincoln™️ she was all alone and things got a lot darker, causing her to look for love anywhere she could find it.

24: “there’s only 24 hours in a day, and half as many ways for you to lie to me my little love” there’s a lot more lyrics in this song that are relevant but I think especially this one because it’s like wtf is Joel doing when he’s not with peaches?? And he’s obviously lying to her and I think she’s started to gain more suspicions (at least I hope so bc homegirl is IN TROUBLE)

Swan song: this one is the second to last song on the album and I think it is very relevant of left in Lincoln. The song basically says that all the two lovers need is each other. If you think about it, Joel just desires an eternal honeymoon with peaches, just the two of them together FOREVER

“Nothing could stop the two of us if that’s what we want, we could just get lost”

I feel like this could even be something Joel says to peaches. Like he’s just like as long as we’re together it doesn’t matter what happens. Also the “if that’s what we want” reminds me of Joel manipulating peaches and tricking her into thinking it’s all what she wants and she has a choice🤩

And I feel like a lot of the songs are very peaches coded: Terrence loves you, god knows I’ve tried, music to watch boys to, don’t let me be misunderstood

ANYWAYYYYY sorry for writing so fucking much I’ve j been thinking abt this for awhile esp the Lincoln honeymoon connection bc it’s so interesting and I love lana and your fics ❤️

-------

Toxic: This is amazing!! Thank you so much for the thoughtful analysis. 🖤 also it is killing me not to spoiler.

[lunar-beauty]

okay so i’ve always found the dynamic between steve & his old friends to be rlly interesting so i’m rlly glad to have stumbled upon this post. and your take is so well analyzed too! tommy being the one behind the whole king steve persona, mostly as a way to maintain their status makes a lot of sense cause as s2 showed, it isn’t something that steve rlly cared much about. probably cause the whole popularity thing came easy to him, cause of his wealth, looks, and athletic ability. while tommy on the other hand seems like the type who’d struggle with gaining popularity and do whatever it took to maintain it once he got it.

i do think that tommy & carol were shown to care about steve though. during jonathan and steve’s fight, carol encouraged tommy to jump into the fight to help steve and he was about to until steve told him to back off. and tommy was the one who helped steve run from the cops, which he didn’t have to do at all. and the fight between tommy and steve only started bc steve was yelling at carol, tommy’s girlfriend and he stepped in to tell steve to back off.

tommy’s quickness to throw steve aside also felt to me as more of a defense mechanism. he probably really hurt that steve was choosing nancy, who he hasn’t been with long and had presumably cheated on him, over his old friends and was covering up those feelings with anger. not saying tommy and carol were in the right here, i just like looking for depth in one-note antagonist characters lol. also, tommy’s line about steve “running away like he always did” always stood out to me and that being something steve’s dad had once said, makes a lot of sense and i’m totally considering that canon from now on. as for the whole tommy was the one who intentionally used billy to get back at steve is something i 1000% agree and that’s what i thought happened while i was first watching s2 as well. steve being willing to cut him and carol off so easily, definitely struck a nerve in tommy. after losing steve, he probably ended up losing some of his popularity and latched on to billy as a result in an attempt to regain it while also getting back at steve.

i do have to say though that i disagree that steve went to nancy’s house because he thought he was in the wrong. i personally saw that as steve wanting to try and fix things, even though he still thought he was right for being mad (“what the hell am i apologizing for”), cause he loved her and didn’t want to lose her. and the whole shitty boyfriend line felt to me as steve realizing his shortcomings (not being able to realize how badly nancy wanted to get justice for barb or see how much guilt nancy felt about what happened) and also trying to make the breakup go easier for nancy. even though rlly, he had no reason to do so and was a good boyfriend.

hey guys it’s me again back on my bullshit <3 wanna hear my theory about how tommy created king steve? warning it’s like 2800 words long okay let’s go!

Keep reading

[inafieldofdaisies]

𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 | Season 2, Episodes 7 & 8 | Review post & Thoughts on season 3′s potential

I don't know how I feel about the finale of Made for Love, I genuinely liked the direction the season was going in and then the last 2 episodes happened. They left me with what I can only describe as an yucky feeling.  

The whole season gave off vibes about Byron getting some type of redemption. You have so many scenes showing he’s trying, that he does have feelings for Hazel, but needs to work on his issues and realize the error of his ways and how many messed up things he did.

They fed us so many cute scenes with him and Hazel, showed her having doubts about betraying him, she would make the first move and hint at having feelings for him. There was hope. False one, sadly.

I wasn't a fan of Byron’s character in season 1 at all, his actions were problematic, things started to shift with season 2. It managed to make me feel bad for him, especially after seeing him try to make an effort and showing a glimpse into his feelings. Billy’s acting is so amazing, he bought something to what can end up as super unlikable character, there was humor and rawness to Byron.

You have him face what seemed like a very unpleasant thing for him, something he kept hidden and avoided: going back to his childhood home, staying the night there because Hazel insisted, even after he wanted to flee. They finally talked, bonded even. 

I get Hazel has a hard time trusting him. Still I felt like the final two episodes just went off the rails and basically destroyed whatever was built so far...

For context: Byron ended up copying Hazel’s consciousness and uploading it together with his own.From there the Other Byron & Hazel went rogue, or shall I say Other Hazel came up with a plan to do some body snatching and took OB along for it. Byron ordered to have Hazel’s copy deleted, he was confident they’re making progress and didn’t want to ruin things. He got taken over by OB instead.

Other Hazel took over Hazel’s body and let her father unalive himself (note: it was Herb’s wish bcs he was sick), he was ready to leave Earth. Hazel was forced to watch it happen, unable to stop it.

Hazel then started to fight back, trying to gain control of her body again. Once she managed to do that, she decided to betray Byron by not letting him get his body back, instead leaving the passive and naive Other Byron in it while Byron is trapped within, forced to watch and is on the verge of disappearing. Hazel is pregnant with Byron’s baby and running HIS company. She treats Other Byron like sh!te too (telling him it’s none of his business when he asks about her day.)

I get Hazel is angry over her father and wants revenge, but I felt like full on blaming Byron for what happened to her dad and not even letting him explain the whole fiasco was a bit much, especially since it was Other Hazel that created the mess, she was the one wanting to take over. I saw him copying her consciousness as more of a plan B in case Hazel decides to leave and things between them don't work out, in a way he'd still have a version of her.

Not to mention her father made the decision to leave, it was his choice, he didn’t want to suffer anymore, he was confident Hazel is gonna be alright. It wasn’t like Other Hazel poisoned him. 

Like Hazel, I get it, but Other Hazel didn’t actually m-word him, okay? Herb wanted to leave, she didn’t trick him into DRINKING POISON! Byron didn’t do want your dad to die either.

Having your “good” main character suddenly become the villain in this way is weird. I get the show likes to make bizarre turns, but those two episodes took away all meaning from whatever progress Byron made. Instead of getting redemption of a problematic character, you get almost complete ruination of the heroine. The decision she made was so messed up, she had other choices, especially after claiming she wants to do good by taking over Byron’s company. Keeping her dad on ice, leaving a door open to bringing him back to life when *he wouldn’t want it*, is yet again messed up.

Getting revenge on Byron fueled by her father’s death was questionable, trapping him in his own body and forcing Other Byron (who was in love with Other Hazel who Hazel killed) to stay in their miserable marriage was even worse. A f-cked up marriage that would soon have a baby involved too. Not only did she punish Byron, but she’s actively punishing OB as well. 

As others have said: after 6 months of marriage the light from OB’s eyes is gone, the emotions are off. It’s like keeping a $ex robot as a husband at this point. 

The reveal Byron isn’t himself wasn’t a twist either, like from the second he’s on the screen you can tell it’s Other Byron, way before the eye twitch is shown as a hint. The romance lover in me is crying at the “dad” scene, ngl. It’s such a missed opportunity for an actual happy ending as series finale.

As an ending to the season Hazel could have:

1) Talked it out with Byron, gave him a chance to explain since she was so into testing him prior and showed she has some type of feelings for him if she had doubts about betraying him. Then decide if she trusts him, etc.

2) Let the agency handle Byron and his company... take him down as she initially wanted. 

3) Leave the marriage, start a new life without Byron, raise their child in a good environment. 

An alternate thing I expected to happen: Byron & Hazel team up to get back their bodies and take down their Other versions. They talk sh!te out eventually.

From reading interviews on what we can expect if the show gets renewed, I don’t have much hope for s3. I still hope the writers rethink things and that s3 would get back on track, focusing on what was left unexplored in this one. Making Hazel into a villain is just dumb in the long run, especially after they fooled us into thinking Byron is getting a redemption which turned into him getting fecked over for something he didn’t even intend to happen. Are we to expect they’re eventually gonna be okay as a couple now that Hazel has gone “an eye for an eye” on him as a way to restore “balance”? And what about the poor baby? 

[polyghostfacehours]

billy and stu at pride with y/n? what would that be like? since its june and all. (i feel like they wouldn’t go but let’s pretend that with enough whining from y/n they agree) i love the way u write them btw. doesn’t feel out of character at all :)

Thank you! I try and keep them as much in character as I can, and spend an ungodly amount of time analyzing their scenes in Scream (it's how I noticed Stu's little mutilated doll project in his attic lmao, I went frame by frame on that shit.)

Poly!Ghostface x Reader at Pride!

So 1996 Stu and Billy wouldn't go to Pride that was anywhere near Woodsboro. But they would be willing to go to one a reasonable distance out of town for you, where Billy's dad wouldn't be able to spot him.

And Stu happens to know which one they would attend. He has an estranged gay aunt who he adores, but isn't allowed to visit often due to his parents' prejudice. She's the biggest supporter of your relationship and is more than happy to let you guys stay with her during the time!

Billy would be too nervous and ashamed to wear any particular flag apparel, but Stu goes absolutely buckwild. He doesn't even care if someone he knows sees him because it's not like they can out him without them outing themselves by being there.

If you are trans, they will both wear trans flag apparel in solidarity. Billy wears a pin, and doesn't care who sees. He may struggle with his own identity, but when it comes to you, he holds nothing back. Stu will have a whole line of trans snap bracelets going down his arms for you. This includes the transmasc and transfem specific flags.

You guys take a ton of polaroids together to put in a photo album later.

Stu brings a mixtape of songs to play that he feels fall in line with the spirit of Pride, and when he finds someone with a boombox, he hands it to them to play while you guys drink and loiter in that area.

Anyone with working eyes could see that Billy is uncomfortable at first. He has that characteristic blank expression and keeps looking around awkwardly. Your heart warms when you see people going out of their way to make him comfortable and by the end of the night he's laughing with the drag queens!

Someone explains demisexuality to 90s!Billy and his mind is blown bc wtf that fits me even more than Stu's bi one

You guys run into another poly throuple and holy shit are all 3 of you blown away. You guys had never ran into any other poly people irl and had only read about the topic on some websites on geocities. This experience really solidifies in your minds that what you guys have is real and true and right

So moving on to some MODERN AU stuff.

Billy and Stu absolutely attend the nearest Pride, no questions asked. Billy's dad is still prejudiced, but Billy cares significantly less because it's 2021 and fuck that be gay do crime.

The minute you guys graduated high school you immediately moved to the big city(I headcanon New York), that has a large LGBT community and presence.

Billy still struggles with his identity but a lot less, and Stu. Oh Stu. Stu absolutely is in PRIDE mode at all times tbh. He always shows you guys off on social media, does PDA in public, and is just proud of you guys in general. At Pride he is absolutely decked head to toe in Pride apparel. He dies his hair and paints his face + chest for the occasion.

Billy is still incredibly subdued, and doesn't really dress up. To him, his sexuality and polyamorous relationship is no one's business but his own and those involved with him. He celebrates his pride by just being there, and maybe wearing a couple of pins or necklace.

You guys wear matching poly pride necklaces that say "Im their boy/girlfriend". Stu gets a temp. tattoo of 3 figures on his right arm that look like those restroom sign figures lmao. Billy hates it lmao.

If you are pre-op transmasc and want to go shirtless but are too nervous to, Stu is your hype man. he will paint anything you want on your chest and assure you that duh guys go topless all the time and youre a guy so whats the problem dude.

If you are transfem and want to wear a short skirt and need help tucking properly, Billy will help you in anyway he can. He won't even be horny about it, he know how important it is to you. It's one of the moments he's most gentle with you.

Stu makes friends easily already, but seeing him at pride was a whole 'nother ball game. His interactions almost seem a bit more....genuine? He's more at ease somehow, as if the stress of acting like a cishet dudebro in his small conservative town that just doesn't understand him or his murder tendencies just...melts away.

If you are bisexual/pansexual cis woman and they hear anything about how you're "bandwagoning" and "theyre just straight women who make out with girls at parties sometimes" then they will go absolutely feral on them. Their girlfriend belongs at pride just like any other queer person fuck you.

Billy gets maaaad jealous when you or Stu get inevitably hit on. Deathglaring the leather daddy flirting with Stu, kissing you in the middle of a conversation with that cute queer biker girl. The works. But of course he absolutely revels in how many people hit on him. he could never resist an ego boost.

If you ever feel uncomfortable for any reason, you'll have to let them know. They're gonna be mainly absorbed in themselves and exploring what's around them, so they're not gonna be super attentive at the time. And honestly, Billy would probably notice but won't do anything until you say something because he's selfish and wants to keep having fun. So speak up!

[lesbianlovelanguage]

More Hades!Billy and Persephone!Steve bc I can

Steve:

Even before he consciously knows about his past life, he has this unexplainable connection to nature. When he was a kid he was constantly running off into the forest, not that his parents ever really cared, though he had a nanny once who threatened to lock him in his room of he did it again.

When he grew older (think like 8th grade-freshman year) wandering the forest wasn’t quite enough for him. He wanted to grow something, see it bloom to life because he took care of it and nurtured it. He builds a small garden off to the farthest side of the backyard, almost out of sight except for from his bedroom window.

He grows anything he can get his hands on, from black-eyed susans to small cherry tomatoes. His favorite thing though is his carefully maintained strawberry bush.

He doesn’t exactly remember how he became King Steve. He does remember that his father found his garden and burned it all, while screaming at Steve that gardening was a woman’s hobby and Steve needed to find something better because he wasn’t raising a fucking fruit cake.

Steve goes to his first party that night and gets absolutely wasted. He doesn’t remember much, but suddenly that Monday Tommy Hagan is crowning him Keg King and begging him to join the basketball team.

Seems manly enough.

Billy

When he was a kid, he loved collecting rocks. Running back and forth as the tide brought in new treasures he could show his mom.

Then she passes away. He stops collecting rocks.

Billy’s affinity turns into dark and shadows. No not in an emo or goth way.

It’s just that there’s a sense of safety in the dark. Even when Neil’s home, Billy can slip out his window and wander the dark empty beaches.

Its also the only time he feels like he can still see his mom, watching over him, standing just outside his view.

And then his dad married Susan, and Max came into the picture. He’s not sure about this whirlwind of fire, but he kind of likes her. Until she accidentally reveals Billy’s biggest secret to Neil.

He tries to remind himself that she’s just a kid, she didn’t know any better. At least she knows some first aid. Then his dad makes them move to Hawkins, and suddenly his dark beach haven is gone and the forest is full of unknown.

But one night, when he knows Neil was gonna be particularly drunk and nasty and Susan had taken Max to the movies so there would be no buffer, he decides the unknown is better than what waits for him at home.

He feels a pull in his chest, tugging him towards a quarry he remembers hearing about some dead body showing up there. What he doesn’t expect is someone else sitting on the very edge of the cliff, seeming to be plucking petals off a flower.

I was gonna post this later but eh, fuck it.

@ariaaadne @hannahhsolo @neonponders @somuchanemoia I hope you like it, ty for the push to actually write some of it 😂

[total-lost-boys-simp]

SCREAM QUEEN Book 1: Conventional Final Girl

Stu Macher x reader x Billy Loomis

Okay so basically let’s just cut to the chase, the main character “(y/n)” is Sidney Prescott’s little step sister, yeah? Well what happens when she takes Sid’s place as the final girl? A whole lot.

Disclaimer: this follows the movie very closely with little change other than the reader insert portions, so like I’m not trying to be like “Oh yeah this is all me” bc it’s not (RIP Wes Craven 😔🙏🏻🕊⚰️)

—————

Epilogue

—————

Previous Chapter / Master List

  It's been what, about a year? I still have these bone chilling dreams about the boys. One minute we'll  be close watching a movie like Friday the 13th, Pieces, Maniac, or even Sleepaway Camp. The next I'll hear the phone ring. Quickly I'll say, "I'll get it," and move myself off the couch leaving a space between the boys. The person on the line will say, "Hello (y/n), it's been a while," instantly I could recognize it as Ghostface. Looking back at the couch the boys would be gone, no trace of them ever there. "Who is this?" I'll ask, even though I know the answer all too well. I'd hear a laugh on the other line before being yanked back into someone's arms. Looking at who it is I'll be filled with dread just seeing the masked killer as they raise the knife over their head. Suddenly I'm being pulled away by a blood covered Billy saying, "We have to get help!" When I look back for the murderer we stop at a door...

   Looking forward I'll see ghostface yet again but this time he's taking off the mask to reveal himself as Billy looking in my direction with that crazed Kubrick Stare. "We all go a little mad sometimes," he says before raising a gun that barely misses me. That's when I realize it's not me he's aiming for. The person he does shoot changes every time, for instance, it could be; Sidney, Tatum, Casey, Steve, or even Principal Himbry... but they say the same thing each time, "Save me (y/n)," before they bleed out on the floor. Next thing I knew both Billy and Stu come charging at me, tossing me to the ground. They'll hold me down as they run the Buck 120 all along my body. They shout nonsensical things in my face. And when one of them raises the knife above their head and plunge it into my body, everything just goes white.

"Hey, earth to (y/n)?" I hear Randy call me from the counter.

"Hm? What's up?" I asked, snapping my head in his direction leaving my thoughts behind.

"You've been staring at the shelf for almost fifteen minutes," He complains

"Guess there's just too good of a selection?" I said with a false smile and a shrug.

"Yeah sure, just up and pick a movie already," Randy said, rolling his eyes.

"Jeez did anyone ever tell you that patience is a virtue?" I laughed out as I snatch up a copy of Amityville Horror.

"Still staying away from slasher?" Randy asks, a sympathetic look in his eyes.

"Yeah, they just remind me too much of that night..." I said, look down and scratching my arm.

"Anyways...What are you and your dad gonna do tonight?" He asked, trying to change the subject.

"Hmm? Oh Neil just wanted to stay in and watch some movies, maybe order some pizza?"

"He adopted you over half a year ago, start calling him Dad for once!" Randy said, cackling at his own words.

"Yeah yeah whatever, see ya later!" I shouted as I left the store.

So much has happened since October of last year. The day after 'That Night' Neil told me he didn't want me or my mom to ever be scared again...so he married my mom and adopted me. None of us see it as replacing Sid, my father, or even Sid's mom, if anything we see it as a better way to remember them and keep them close to our hearts. The town held a mass memorial for all of the victims. The individual funerals were hell. I just wanted to say goodbye to my friends but there were reporters and news vans at every turn.

   It's never been the same after I, not only lost Tatum and Sindey but also... Stu and Billy. I get it, I shouldn't have anywhere near a soft spot for those two but I do. I don't excuse anything they did because it tore apart almost everything that made me happy in the world. That doesn't mean I don't see why they did it. Billy was hurt and driven mentally insane once his mother abandoned him due to the affair. And Stu, oh god I can't imagine what Billy did to force him to participate in the killing spree with him. Does that excuse their actions? No. Do I still miss the boys they used to be? Absolutely yes.

  I like to think that had they not run away on 'That Night' they would've been sentenced but also would've been able to get the psychiatric help they really needed.

"Neil, I'm home!" I shouted as I opened the door. No response.

Mom was out on a business trip so I already knew she wouldn't be home.

"Neil?" I called out again, suspicion rising in my voice. No response again.

"Are you here?" I asked, looking around the living room, the kitchen, upstairs in his room, Sid's room, my room, every room in the house.

"Neil?!" I called out again this time with frantic breathing and hot tears itching at my skin.

"Oh woah, woah, kiddo it's okay!" Neil came from around the corner running to me.

"I thought- I thought you were gone! That they took you! Where were you?!" I asked, clinging to his sleeves and he pulled me into a hug.

"Shh shh, I was in the garage working on the car Kiddo," He said as he rocked me back and forth.

"I already lost Sid and Tatum... I don't want to lose you too, Dad," I said as I thought back to how I found Sid and Tatum at Stu's house.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm okay, we're okay," He softly said, trying to calm me down.

"Ya know what, you got a letter on the counter, looks like it might be from a family member, go take a look," Neil said as he ruffled my hair.

  Going downstairs I look on the kitchen counter, sure enough there's an envelope with neat and somewhat familiar handwriting. Huh no return address, I thought to myself. I'm careful not to rip the paper as I open the envelope. As I looked inside I saw a few polaroids and a folded paper inside. Taking the polaroids out ran my blood cold. One of them was a picture Mrs. Riley took of Sid, Tatum, and I from our final sleepover. The next was of our group at the fountain, all of us, but Sid and Tatum's faces were crossed out and small Ghostface stickers were placed over Billy and Stu's. The last two were pictures of me, Stu, and Billy on Stu's couch at one of our movie nights. Placing the pictures down I look at the paper... on the folded front said; To: (y/n), from: Yours Truly. The letter itself said;

Dear (y/n),

  It's been a while. We've really missed you. How's your mom, oh and Neil? We just wanted to check in and let you know we're doing fine after you killed us. Or well, almost killed us. You're wondering how we're still alive, Right?

  Well for starters, that knife? It was a retractable prop, a bit of a let down since you didn't actually get to stab Stu, right? Then that gun, we switched out Dwight's bullets for blanks while you ran to his car. Really explains how Randy lived. You most likely knew that already. Also when you kick someone against a coffee table, you should really check their pulse next time.

  We hope you haven't gotten too comfortable thinking we're gone for good because trust us baby, we're not.

P.S. you should pick up the phone.

Sincerely,

Yours Truly

  Just as I finished reading the letter I heard a ringing from the telephone in the lounge area where Sidney got the call the night we were attacked. Cautiously I walked over to it, fear in my chest making my heart race and my palms sweat. "Hello?" I asked, swallowing nothing out of pure nervousness.

"Hello, (y/n), miss me?" Asked an all too familiar raspy off pitched voice.

"Oh shit."

[dastardlydandelion]

So...what kind of horror movie would you write featuring the Hargrove/ Mayfield family? (That you haven't written already lol)

oh boy, u may regret asking me this bc i am indecisive af and i can’t pick just one!

two that i'm actually writing are max as (g is for) ghostface killer in the abcs of neil’s death and also the max + tory nichols werewolf movie fic outlined here. also some more misc gorror junk bc i’m a demon and esp horny for susan wearing blood splatter. but more ideas commence below:

horror movie #1: another creature feature! awhile back @lucdarling sent me an ask abt max + billy hiding smth from susan and her like, playing along, pretending she doesn't know, and one of the scenarios that popped in my head was them keeping a baby bat as a pet. max finds it and she’s only like six or seven, and she thinks it’s going to turn into a vampire. so here is that scenario except horror edition: baby bat is actually a vampire type creature. not rly a vampire like, what’s prolly popping into ur head, like an undead human like dracula or smth, but like a bat monster that sucks blood.

billy being a lil older doesn’t actually think the bat is going to turn into a vampire. he makes fun of max for believing this, but he helps her take care of it anyway bc he thinks it’s cool. susan, like in the non-horror version, knows abt the bat but plays dumb bc she’s feeling a lot of guilt abt max’s difficulty adjusting to the blended fam (as of rn tho, neil has yet to reveal his abusive nature. the red flags are not yet red, more of a brownish maroon, and he is on his best behavior almost all the time, showering susan + max with affection and keeping the swears out of his mouth when he scolds billy in front of them) and knows the lil furry baby makes her happy. she tacitly cleans up after the bat whenever the kids miss a spot (bats poop a lot, dude) and distracts neil, deterring him from discovering it whenever he gets close.

baby bat gets rly big rly fast. and the older it gets, the more it starts to look monstrous. it still has bat features but it’s just like, different. its fangs grow suspiciously long, its hooks grow suspiciously long. its feet are elongated. a dorsal ridge emerges from its spine, spikes at first just flesh but soft fur rather like peach fuzz eventually sprouting. billy catches on that smth is strange abt this animal when it's as long as his forearm after two wks and still growing. he nearly shits a brick when the bat is clinging to his sweater one day and he steps in front of a mirror and only his reflection looks back at him— no bat.

max laughs at him all like, “stupid brother, ofc there’s no reflection. nosferatu is a vampire, vampires don’t have reflections.” 😂

susan catches a glimpse of the thing when nosferatu crawls out of the home max built it in her closet the same wk billy realizes it doesn’t have a reflection, and also almost shits a brick. she doesn’t know what it is, but it’s NOT a fucking bat. not a normal one, anyway! cue a comedy scene where she’s chasing it around the house with a butterfly net and it’s always one flap *ba dum tss* ahead of her, flying just out of reach. she suddenly regrets not getting rid of it sooner, scolding herself for ever allowing her daughter to keep a wild animal.

she can’t catch it. max comes home, susan tells her she needs to get rid of it. max cries, flips her the bird, refuses. billy tho…billy has mixed feelings. he loves nosferatu but he’s worried it’s going to get dangerous. he loves his dad and his dad is dangerous too. he’s stressed out enough, always on edge, knowing that one way or the other, neil is going to hurt him again. he’s already waiting for his dad to hurt him, he doesn’t need the added stress of waiting for nosferatu to hurt him too. and while max is 100% nosferatu’s favorite, it likes billy too. billy’s been handling it since it could fit in the palm of his hand, it trusts him much more than it trusts susan and doesn’t know any different when billy takes it out of the closet when max isn’t around.

billy frees nosferatu at an abandoned farm. there are always bats flying out of the old silo adjacent to the dilapidated barn. while he knows nosferatu isn’t a *normal* bat, it’s still bat like enough that he thinks it might make friends and be happy here…

yeah, that doesn’t stick. before long, nosferatu is feasting on that colony. leeches the blood out of a couple bats nightly. the number of bats increases with nosferatu’s size. meanwhile, max mourns her missing friend. she’s sullen af and won’t speak to susan at all. she thinks susan is the one who got rid of nosferatu. billy never fesses up and susan doesn’t contradict max’s assumption bc she wants the step-siblings to get along.

neil, meanwhile, is getting more comfortable. those maroon flags are slowly but surely brightening to scarlet. he starts sabotaging susan’s plans with her friends, trying to keep her around the house more and more, quietly but steadily eroding her relationships with other people. he’s getting more visibly aggressive when he disciplines billy. he curses him out with a virulent venom that dunks susan’s stomach in ice water and scares max so badly, she runs to susan and hides behind her even though she’s still so mad that susan got rid of her beloved baby vampire.

nosferatu’s appetite surpasses what the bat colony can offer. it’s like the size of a ten yr old human child now. fucker’s big. it doesn’t just have fangs on top, but tusks on bottom. it can’t go out in the sunlight anymore, the sun sears its flesh. it misses max a lot and before, it wasn’t strong enough to fly back to her house. but now it is. it’s extremely strong, actually.

so bc it's hungry, nosferatu grabs a snack along the way. some nameless rando, it swoops down and sucks dry. nourished and much happier, nosferatu makes its way back home. patiently waits outside of max’s bedroom in the moonlight, tapping its hook against the window until she wakes up. initially max is a lil startled— nosferatu looks so different, there’s a beat before she recognizes it— him?? yk, ig it’s male, the og nosferatu was a guy. sure, why not, nosferatu is a boy now.

once she realizes who it is, she is so! happy! max opens the window and embraces her friend. she isn’t freaked out by the blood on its fangs. she’s always known nosferatu is a vampire, albeit, she was thinking he’d look more like dracula than this bat-monster-thingy.

nosferatu moves back into max’s closet. it hangs upside-down from her rod by its weird, elongated feet. we get more shots of nosferatu sucking rando ppl dry at night, tho he remains gentle with max. when max drags billy in to show her he came back, nosferatu is less friendly with him. he’s not aggressive with billy, but he is standoffish. nosferatu’s thought process is somewhere between human and animal. he doesn’t quite cognitively understand that billy took him to the farm with the intent of getting rid of him, but he does understand that the last time he clung to billy, billy left him alone and never came back. max puts two and two together, and realizes it was billy who “stole” her friend. she yells at him a lot, he yells back, she then ices him out.

billy acts out bc he’s upset. runs away, thinks he’s going to find his mom…the cops find him first and call neil. neil is rly embarrassed and pissed abt the whole thing. he breaks down and beats billy in front of the mayfields for the first time. nosferatu smells the blood and it’s time for the main event! we love dead!neil, yes, we do.

nosferatu flies out the closet and right into the living room where billy’s bleeding and teary but biting his lip so they don’t actually fall. susan’s covering max’s eyes but so shocked and tbh, FRIGHTENED, she doesn’t move a muscle beyond that. neil’s got the belt raised, preparing to bring it down again, and nosferatu smashes right into him. neil stumbles, turns back to see this freaky monster looking thing. proceeds to whip the belt at nosferatu. tries to fight him off with the belt and it doesn’t accomplish much beyond pissing him off more— nosferatu, like most classic vampire types, has a healing factor!

max rips her mom’s hands off her face in time to see her pet sink its fangs into her stepdad’s throat. nosferatu sucks neil dry. billy’s a little dazed, not quite frightened. susan is just dead ass frozen, too scared to scream, even. nosferatu crawls over to billy and nudges at him, making sure he’s in once piece and forgiving him in the same go. max darts over and that snaps susan out of her stupor, but she isn’t as fast as our blood-sucking bat monster.

nosferatu stretches his wings out and with a truly impressive wingspan, hugs both of the kids. <3

horror movie #2: a haunting! this one opens with a bang. it’s a tragic horror, beware. we’re in hawkins post s3. billy died at starcourt mall. neil’s obvi had a longstanding abusive mindset and abusive behavior, but he rly takes his grief out on susan and max. mostly susan. she does her best to protect max however she can, whether that means shielding her w her body, sending her out of the house, getting neil’s goat to inspire his ire in max’s place, etc. but sue simply isn’t around all the time and when she isn’t, but max is, well. yk.

one day neil comes home early (bc he lost his job for a violent outburst, tbh) and discovers susan packing a suitcase.

sue fights hard. she rly does. but neil is bigger, heavier, crueler, and to boot, he caught her completely unawares. he kills her. and no, no it’s not some accidental thing where neil makes one bad move rage-blind. he strangles her with his belt. she’s clawing at his arms and making these horrible choked, trapped animal noises. thrashes and twists her body with everything she has trying to get him off but he’s so strong, his grip is unrelenting, and she's growing weaker, lightheaded with the lack of oxygen. strangulation can induce incontinence and when susan blacks out, her piss streams to the hardwood— neil hears that as much as he felt the clawing and heard the noises, even now he could stop, but he doesn’t. he just. doesn’t think his wife has the right to leave him, esp not after his son just did.

neil burns the body and the suitcase in the woods while max is at school. max has been spending as much time as she can (and often with sue’s prompting) outside of the house, so it actually takes her about two days to realize her mother isn’t around. neil tells a pretty convincing story about how susan abandoned them, voice saturated with apology and sorrow. he takes her out for a fancy dinner and promises he’s going to be a better father-- that being a better father is the least he can do now that her mother abandoned her and they are alone in their grief.

max doesn’t know what to think. she’s been preoccupied with her own grief and pain. she finds it hard to believe her mother would just leave her to neil’s wrath. she has a lot of hangups with susan and anger toward her for marrying neil and not getting them out sooner, but she’s also old enough to realize there would be risks involved with that. it’s hard to reconcile the memory of her mother just last wk pinning max to the wall to protect her from neil’s blows with her own bod just abruptly taking off without a word in the middle of the night. but hey, maybe that’s why susan left. maybe she got sick of protecting her, maybe the pain got to be too much and she turned tail.

but also…it’s early october now, abt three months after billy’s death but still fairly warm outside. yet neil is wearing long sleeves. neil never used to button his collared shirts all the way up, and yet. every collar is buttoned. also, mom’s car is still here. why would mom leave without her car?

that ceramic pelican she loved so much is still here too, on the mantle in the living room. it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing she would leave behind, she's had it since max was a baby.

max almost wants to believe neil because she’d rather her mother abandoned her than be dead somewhere, rotting in a storage locker or a hole in the ground. under the earth with the worms, just like billy. max has the worst feeling low in the pit of her gut. she thinks she knows the truth. she thinks abt going to hopper and hesitates bc she’s not sure she could handle it if he actually found smth. or what would happen to her if he did, where she would be sent, who she would end up with.

this movie would be more on the ambiguous end of things. an arthouse horror, if u will.

the days turn into wks and neil is crawling in his skin. the viewer isn’t sure if the shadows he’s seeing, always, always susan-shaped shadows, are of a ghostly nature or if he’s just hallucinating out of guilt. but the signs gradually point to the former— that smth paranormal is indeed going on. bc those scratches and bite marks susan left in his skin?

they do not heal. they do not get infected. they do not become necrotic. but they do not heal, either. days turn into wks and the wounds still look fresh, like she just left them moments ago. neil can’t wear light colors anymore because his wounds weep red into the fabric. he isn’t just seeing susan’s shadows either, he’s smelling her.

he washes his sheets and pillowcases a dozen times and the scent of her shampoo, her lotion, it’s like it’s woven into the fibers. he walks into the hallway and chokes on the aroma of susan’s perfume. he wonders if max is screwing with him, if max figured it out and she’s trying to torture him into a confession. one day he stomps off to max's bedroom, furious, adamant on confronting her. he grabs her doorknob, prepared to yank it open and then lets out a yelp, jerking his hand back with a sudden sharp pain.

it feels like a bee sting (which would be esp bad for this fucker in anything i write, bc i headcanon him as being allergic). but there’s no stinger. no injury. nothing. neil is freaked out enough that he backs down.

max, on the other hand, is getting gentler signs. when she turns the radio dial in the camaro, it’s somehow always her mom’s favorite songs that come thru the speakers. when she goes to pull clothes out of her drawers in the morning, she discovers that the things she’d just shoved inside in wrinkled balls are perfectly folded, neat as a pin, exactly like how susan always folded. susan was always fond of cardinals and suddenly max is seeing cardinals, pretty red cardinals, in just abt erry tree and shrub.

neil wakes up one night to his wife’s voice whispering “boo” right in his ear. he throws the covers off and discovers ashes in the bed. he doesn’t smell susan’s shampoo or lotion anymore, he smells the kerosine he’d poured all over her body.

his wounds still won’t heal. whenever he looks in the mirror, he catches a glimpse of susan walking past behind him, peering at him from her peripheral. he whips around, heart hammering, but there’s never any tangible person there.

max is almost certain her mother is dead at this point. neil’s been so bizarrely nice to her lately. she never believed in ghosts but her experiences with the upside-down broadened her perception of reality. she doesn’t know how else to explain the songs, the cardinals, the folded clothes. the way that these days, whenever she does feel fear toward neil, it just fades away. her fear melts like popsicles in the sun, immediately replaced by the sensation of a warm, maternal hug, as if arms she can’t see are trying to reassure her she truly doesn’t need to be afraid of him anymore.

in fact, max feels so unafraid of neil and brave, that one night she calls him out on it. he’s grizzled and unshaven in his recliner, beer in hand. she steps in front of the television he’s vacantly fixated on and folds her arms across her chest.

“you killed my mom, didn’t you?”

quick as a flash, neil leaps to his feet. he brings his arm back like he’s going to strike her and susan’s ceramic pelican on the mantle explodes into shards. the lights flicker, the television program cuts to snow with a static roar. every other knickknack on the mantle rattles and framed photos tumble off the wall.

neil very wisely lowers his hand. he slumps, boneless. he doesn’t say a word. max sees the answer in his eyes. it’s the dead of night and she snatches the camaro keys off the hook, marching out of the house, slamming the door behind her. it’s the dead of night and she doesn’t care. she’s going to blow past every stop sign and pound on the chief’s door until he opens up. and fuck, i just realized if this is post s3 he’s supposed to be in russia. shit. i don’t watch this show, but i know abt russia bc i DID watch the clips of that demogorgon that i rly hope isn’t stuck in captivity!! okay, but let’s pretend that didn’t happen?

it’s an au?? i mean, errything i write is always technically an au anyway, bc when i write stuff susan has an actual personality and billy isn’t *completely* abhorrent. okay, so it’s an au and mr. hopper didn’t blow up and un-blow up in russia. he’s still here. so max drives to his house.

she pounds on the door so hard this guy snaps outta bed, thinking someone’s trying to bust it down. she tells him neil confessed to killing her mom. it isn’t true, exactly, but he didn’t have to. so it’s a helluva grim drive back to cherry lane, this time in the cop car.

but when they go inside, chief prepared to arrest neil, no need. neil’s hanging from the belt he strangled susan with, shirtless for the first time since that night, erry seemingly fresh furrow and bite mark on full display. below his dangling feet is a map, the area he burned susan’s corpse in circled in red marker. did he kill himself or did the ghost do it?

up to u, we soundlessly cut to credits without a concrete answer to that question.

horror movie #3: crossover special! stranger things meets the chilling adventures of sabrina. sequel to that fic i wrote where susan makes out with lilith, queen of hell, and lilith kills neil for her. sue officially joins the church of lilith. bc in this ‘verse the church of lilith actually happens after caos s2 instead of the nonsense that was s3 and the inconceivably godawful migraine-inducing shit-fest that was s4.

killing neil was lilith’s only freebee. susan isn’t a witch, she’s a mortal, so in order to reap the other rewards of worshipping the one and only mother of demons, she has to fornicate with the witches and participate in the sacrifices!!!

this is, uh, well. it’s p much a porno, dude, sorry. 😅

this is just an excuse for susan to have sex with lilith, zelda, marie, hilda, big witch orgies + susan. witches bathing in the blood of their sacrifices, susan so nervous and timid but unable to deny her desire. the witch’s dressing her in their gothic garb.

how does the rest of the fam get it on this?

max joins the church too. she has more age-appropriate conduct with sabrina and the weird sisters, and what have you. just smooches and over-the-clothes groping, and whatnot, even tho the weird sisters, at least, would be interested in going further if given the opportunity.

billy dies in starcourt again, so he gets revived in the cain pit! hilda is the one who goes to him after bc she’s been in the cain pit many a time (i am still BIG side-eyeing zelda for repeatedly murdering her sister since childhood). hilda understands how jarring it can be to come back. suddenly alive!billy is freaking tf out but she brings him inside the mortuary, wraps him up in a big blanket burrito and they have a talk. hilda explains that he’s going to be okay and rubs his back while he tentatively sips the hot chocolate she made.

after billy’s calmed down, she brings max and susan in. max and susan can’t do as much magic as the caos witches— they’re mortals, after all, it’s not in their nature —but they’ve gained some abilities thru being in the church, following the rituals, and being carnally involved with the immortal witches. max happily shows him some of her new magic tricks.

horror movie #4: another crossover with caos. heavily inspired by creepshow episode s2e1, model kid (which i already v blatantly referenced in the last axe snafu update and i’m not ashamed, bc it’s a good series i love v much).

billy picks max up from the byers’ place rly late one night. it’s dark and the weather is bad and okay, yeh, he might be a little high. and a little concussed. he pissed neil off pretty bad the other day and okay, actually he’s defo concussed bc he doesn’t even remember what he did wrong!

needless to say, they take a wrong turn somewhere. they end up in greendale. at first max is pissed. she yells at him a lot! yells so loud hilda can hear them thru the walls of dr. cerberus’s comic shop/diner. she goes outside to see what all the fuss is abt, hilda never rly ignores youth in need. we love hilda, she deserved so much better…i’m getting distracted, okay, back to the story.

hilda ushers them inside. max is like, “ooh, comics? horror junk and comics? nvm, i’m not mad anymore.” she pats billy’s arm and wanders away to go check stuff out! hilda makes billy sit down. caos canon established that she’s psychic, at least when she wants to be. she smells the weed but she also sees his life, his trauma. billy doesn’t remember what he did to piss neil off or the abuse that followed, but hilda sees it clear as day.

he’s rude and cranky w her when she probes a little too much for his liking. hilda gently but firmly reprimands him and gets him a milkshake on this house. then she goes to check on max. she steers max to a v particular section of the shop, the one that sells model kits. now, max isn’t *huge* into model kits BUT they are p neat and she enjoys them well enough. more so when the weather is nasty and she can’t go outside. or when she needs smth to do with her hands (a trait she shares w susan) to distract herself and ease some of the anxiety when she hears her brother being beaten or her mother being shouted at.

max is actually rly impressed by the array of models. vintage ones and newer ones. monsters, slashers, final girls, tiny accessories like knives and bloodied heads. but when she gets to the paint-your-own shelf, her jaw drops to the floor.

there’s one that looks just like neil. unpainted, plain gray vinyl, but undoubtedly her stepdad. the expression on the five inch figurine is one frozen in fear.

“i think that one’s calling to you,” hilda prompts her, with the softest smile.

max blinks away her bewilderment altho she still can’t speak. she turns to hilda and turns her empty pockets inside out. hilda just waves her hand. she tells her it’s on the house. that it wouldn’t be fair if she gave billy smth on the house, but not max.

speaking of billy, when he finishes his milkshake, he’s suddenly totally sober and healed!! no more high buzzing in his blood. no more pounding headache or concussion fogging his mind. he doesn’t feel his bruises anymore, rolls his sleeve up, and realizes they simply aren’t there anymore. like they dissolved off his skin.

albeit it’s muttered under his breath, but billy does thank hilda. then he and max are on their way. max shows him the suspiciously familiar figurine in the box. this night cannot get weirder.

max knows what to do with the model kit. she does. she isn’t sure how she knows, but she does. she grapples with it for a long time. neil’s the closest thing she has to a dad these days. and things aren’t bad all the time, ofc.

sometimes neil gives max a ride when mom and billy aren’t available. sometimes he brings her ice cream entirely unprompted. neil’s the one who picks max up off the sidewalk when she wipes out super bad on her skateboard, carries her inside and then later to the car when her cut doesn’t stop bleeding and she ends up needing stitches.

but most of the time he sucks. she can’t rly be herself around him. he's indifferent to her interest at best, scornful at worst. he would hate all her friends. he scares the shit out of her when he’s angry. he doesn’t have a problem belittling her mother in front of her, tearing susan to shreds and making her out like she’s lower than dirt, the most worthless person on the planet. doesn’t have a problem beating billy in front of her or glaring at her with the promise that she’ll be next if she dares to voice her dissent.

max doesn’t always want to do what she knows she’s meant to do with the model. bc she's kind at heart and bc on the good days, she genuinely does have mixed feelings toward neil. never enough to hope he'll be better, he's proven he won't...but maybe enough to hope he won't get worse, either.

then comes the night neil breaks ribs. bad, like we’re talking, a-sharp-spear-of-broken-rib-punctures-billy’s-lung-and-he’s-coughing-up-blood-bad. that’s a trip to the emergency room. in the days that follow, at her next dnd meeting w the party, max places the fully and attentively painted model of her stepdad on the table. normally her pals would protest her derailing the intended game, but they can sense it, yk, that smth is different.

max takes over as dungeon master to the protest of no one, all other mouths sealed as if bewitched and spellbound. she narrators a scene where the demogorgon devours neil and uses the demogorgon piece and the model for demonstration.

when max returns home, neil is strewn across the house in gory chunks and torn wallpaper curls around massive claw marks.

[lucifers-favorite-pen]

How The Obey Me Brothers Would Do in a “The Forest” AU

Fandom: Obey me

Pairings: None

Warnings: Swearing, idiocy, mild gore

The Forest was just released for the new Oculus headset, and Levi could NOT pass up this opportunity. However, it’s just his luck he got his hands on a cursed copy of the game, and ended up sucking the House of Lamentation into the game! Here’s how our favorite boys faired in the universe of “The Forest”

Lucifer:

Is pissed.

Bitches about it heavily

Is irritated that he has to find and wrangle a digital son now as well as his siblings. 

Would definitely help everyone else build a little shelter before nightfall, but would be grumbling about how much work he has to do at home and how far behind this would put him. 

Doesn’t let MC lift a finger and is 100% a mother hen the whole time. 

Seems inconvenienced by the whole cannibal thing, until he realizes magic doesn’t exist here and he has to use his melee fighting skills to kill them. Skills that are a little rusty...

Teams up with Beel to be the camp dads and take care of everyone

Super paranoid about the stability of the walls and the house at the beginning

Dies from eating a poisonous berry. He didn’t know he could be affected by poison in this game.

Over all, does his best to keep everyone alive, and feels really bad when someone dies. 

No longer feels bad when he learns that the worst thing that happens is you lose all your stuff and you respawn. 

A solid 7/10 job. Probably dies a few times due to someone else being an idiot, but is a pretty good survivalist when push comes to shove. 

Mammon:

Is also pissed

He was in the middle of counting the grimm from his latest modeling gig when he was sucked into the game.

Bitches and moans with/at Lucifer, but tries to build and maintain a shelter.

Who’s Timmy?

I don’t think crows exist in the game, but seagulls do and they all land on his fingers and he makes friends with them.

Is very upset when one of his brothers kills a bird for food or to simply carry around its head as a trophy. 

Sees cannibals and tries to trade with them with the grimm he has in his pockets.

Dies on sight.

Now when he sees or hears cannibals he screams and cowers behind MC 

When they go away or the screaming stops, he stands up straight and dusts off his jacket “Psh, I wasn’t afraid! I was trying to comfort you from behind! YOU were the one afraid”

After a while in the game, he gets his shit together and honestly kinda kills it. 

This is the avatar of greed, you know he is going to gather and horde so many valuable resources and then guard them with his life. 

“Mammon I’m hurt please stop hissing at me and let me have the medicine bottle”

*hiss* “You can have ONE pill and ONE pill only”

Over all, the definition of “They had us in the first half ngl”

8/10 for managing the group’s food and resource stores so well and only dying a fuck ton of times. 

Levi

...oops?

Feels quite guilty, but is also secretly pumped to immerse himself in the game.

Was extremely skilled at this game IRL and tries to explain how it works to everyone else, but they’re all so pissed and no one’s listening.

“That’s fine, who would want to listen to a yucky otaku like me anyway!” 

Magic doesn’t exist here, but that doesn’t stop Levi from yeeting himself into the ocean and turning into a giant sea monster while his brothers complete the game. 

They don’t want his help? They don’t want to know that the cannibals can’t swim and that they’ll be safer if they build a boat and live in a boathouse on the water? Fine. Then Perish <3

That goes for Timmy too, fuck that kid. 

Doesn’t want MC to suffer tho, so he’ll kill a few sharks and throw them up over the wall with his tail. (I’m assuming that if the game is released for Oculus Rift that they will get their shit together and also make sharks edible)

Is having a grand time taking over the ocean. 

Will sometimes go to shore to visit MC. Everyone is confused as to where he has been and how he is thriving. He just smiles and jumps back in the water.

10/10 strats. Never once dies. Tells everyone what they were doing wrong and how they could have had it easier when they beat the game and are back IRL out of spite.

Satan

Angy

Is throwing things in their spots while building the shelter, but is still helping

Spawns in with the book he was reading in his hand.

That book is eventually stolen from his grasp in the night and used as kindling for the fire.

Lucifer explains that if he didn’t steal his book they all would have died. 

Satan does not give a fuck

“Use the kid’s stupid fucking drawings you dipshit!”

“I can’t they’re story items!”

Goes on a rampage and kills so many deer, effectively feeding the group for a week.  

Sees the cannibals for the first time and thinks “same” 

Pretty good fighter and pretty resourceful when it comes to making armor and weapons. 

Outfits MC with the all of his prototypes and tells them to go run at a tree

“How do you feel, MC?”

“Like I ran at a tree with a deer skin on my chest”

“Interesting”

Very upset at the whole no magic thing, but will work with it.

Over all, 7/10 job. Dies a couple times from cannibals and the other monsters, but makes it to the end.

Asmo

Oh dear. 

Oh dear this sweet summer child. 

“Why are we looking for this child when he’s so ugly?”

Is distraught and so very upset this is happening to him. Cries variations of “woe is me” for the first five hours of game play

Does not help build a shelter

Does not help gather food and resources

Does not help period. Only whines. 

Sees cannibals sprinting and jumping towards the shelter and pushes Lucifer in front of him

“Take him! I’m too pretty to die!”

“HEY!”

What follows after the first three days is a slow decent into madness. 

Ends up butt ass naked for the majority of the game because the clothes he spawned in with were ripped to shreds and “No animal skin clothing in this world is good enough to adorn my perfect body”

Starts speaking to the animals and becomes friends with all of them like a Disney Princess. 

The animals come to his aid when he lets out a specific shriek that calls them to his side.

Spends his time weaving flower crowns for MC, his brothers, and his animal friends. 

Everyone knows he’s snapped when Beel brings back the dead body of a cannibal and Asmo dips his dirty little finger into an open wound and wipes the blood on his lips. 

“I just love this shade! Don’t you?” 

5/10 job. Dies multiple times from trying to befriend hostile animals, but also has an army of woodland creatures at his disposal by the end of the game.

Beel

Bro you know this mans is about to make this game his bitch

Spawns in with a cheeseburger.

Eats the cheeseburger.

“I have a son?”

“I HAVE A SON :D”

“Where is my son?”

Honestly the thought of Beel in this game is so sexy like I’m simping so hard rn 

Grab your water skins and buckle up bc it’s about to get thirsty up in here y’all

A shirt? Beel doesn’t know what those are anymore

He crafts one of those shoulder harnesses out of hide and bone and sticks a bone shiv thing on the forearm 

Don’t mess with this demon when his dinner and his family is on the line.

Is not afraid of anything except the death of his loved ones.

Cannibals? Nah, dinner.

Other monsters? Nah, dinner. 

Full shirtless lumberjack mode with Lucifer, and later Mammon, when cutting down trees in the forest. MC is drooling. 

Definitely makes a game out of how many trees they can all chop down before giving up.

Plays knuckle bones with Belphie and MC using real knuckle bones. 

Doesn’t want to share his food with the others but will if they didn’t get anything to eat that day. 

Chef Beel. That’s it that’s the post. 

10/10 job. Only dies once throwing his body over Belphie’s sleeping one to save him. 

Get’s annoyed when he finds out Belphie was fake sleeping

Very sexy. Would watch. 

Belphie

Nah dude no thanks 

Alexa play “Wake Me Up When September Ends”

Alexa play “Billie Jean”

“And the kid is not my son”

Get’s so fucking pissed when he finds out he can’t sleep without everyone else deciding to sleep too so he just lays down with his eyes closed and hopes for the best.

Doesn’t help with anything unless someone asks him to

Even then he’ll roll his eyes like brat and slowly do it

An actual sloth

No like he clings to MC and Beel like a sleepy sloth 100% of the time

He can’t find any cows and is sad so he settles for the local deer instead. 

Fake sleeps through most of the whole thing, paying monster and cannibals alike absolutely no mind. Beel will take care of it.

Freaks the fuck out when Beel dies on top of him and goes into a rage and kills everything in sight. 

Very sweet reunion when he realizes that they just respawn.

No longer pays death any mind and continues fake sleeping. 

0/10. Virtually useless. 

Masterpost

[ragegrove]

but I wanna know all the replies to the Childhood Asks 🥺

you asked for all  of them so you shall receive all of them bc you got bestie privileges. ( haha true, but since i got a few asks curious about billy's childhood-- i decided to do them all on one post )

*   𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌  𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐃  𝐀𝐒𝐊𝐒.    /   status:  always  accepting  memes  

@flayedprincss . . .

what were they like as a child? the  polar  opposite  to  what  he  is  now. summer  was  creeping  in  and  school  was  about  to  break  loose,  that  meant  more  time  spent  at  the  beach  and  more  time  to  do  all  those  fun  things  his  mother  promised  they’d  do  while  they  were  chatting  down  the  boardwalk  and  billy  was  talking  his  mother’s  ear  off  like  pure  usual  when  it  was  just  the  two  of  them.  things  always  fell  silent  at  home,  he  never  spoke  much  at  all  when  neil  was  in  the  house.  he  was  becoming  too  old  to  hold  his  mother’s  hand--  almost  going  for  seven  this  coming  november.  but  he  was  used  to  it  and  he  had  an  attachment  to  his  mother,  it  might’ve  been  an  only  child  thing.  or  maybe  it  was  just  a  thing  he  wasn’t  ready  to  grow  out  of  yet.  he  loved  it  when  there  were  too  many  people  around  and  his  mother’s  sweet  voice  would  say,  ‘hold  my  hand  billy’,  like  that  evening  walking  down  the  boardwalk.  he’d  smile  and  fingers  would  cling  to  her  hand,  then  right  as  they  were  entering  the  seashell  shop  an  elderly  man  was  stepping  up  on  one  of  the  steps  before  he  tripped  and  fell.  billy’s  jaw  dropped  and  concern  filled  his  blue  eyes,  “look,  mom.  shouldn’t we  help  him?”  he  quickly  questioned,  he’s  going  to  spring  into  action  regardless.  “of  course  we  should,  billy.”  he  hurries  and  takes  the  old  man’s  hand,  using  all  the  strength  he  has  in  his  arms  to  help  him  up  then  with  the  aid  of  his  mother  taking  his  other  hand  they  get  him  up  just  fine  and  unscathed.  “are  you  okay?”  small voice,  that’s still  so  concerned  about  him questions the elder.  “i’m  okay  thanks  to  you...”  smiling,  he  looks  so  impressed  and  surprised,  “what  a  sweet  young  boy  you  are.  you’ll  grow  up  to  be  a  fine  young  man  one  day.”  it  leaves  billy  grinning,  happy  and  feeling  good  he  helped  someone  and  got  complimented  like  that.  that  day  he  hoped  he  would  grow  up  to  be  as  awesome  as  that  man  said  he  would  be.  ….ten  years  went  by  and  he  wasn’t  that  same  boy  anymore. the disaster he had become since that spring day.

what was their childhood like? did they have a good one or a bad one? torturous.  always waiting  for  the  next  blow  up  between  his  parents,  when  he  could  only  hide  between  the  trashcan  and  kitchen  counter  for  so  long  before  he  had  to  come  running  to  save  his  mother  from  his  father’s  wrath.  he  always  knew  when  it’d  happen,  too.  at  six  years  old  billy  would  listen  for  the  change  in  his  father’s  voice,  it’d  raise  to  a  certain  notch,  his  heart  would  leap  out  of  his  chest  and  then  he’d  come  charging  with  fear  pounding at his rib cage but  the  need  to  save  his  mother  from  being  hurt  overpowered  that.  there  were...SOME  days  that  could  go  good.  when  neil  had  to  stay  out  at  work  later,  it could  just  be  him  and  his  mom  at  home.  he’d  sit  on  her  lap  while  she’d  band-aid  his  knees,  she’d  baby  him  and  he  loved  every  second  of  it.  he’d  say  the  kids  at  school  pushed  him  down  but  in  truth,  he  caused  his  scraped  knees  himself.  for  attention.  other  good  days  were  either  surfing  with  his  mom  or  her  showing  him  things  on  her  car--  underneath  the  hood  where  the  interesting  stuff  was.  she’d  show  him  the  basic  things  and  he’d  ask  a  million  questions.  or  when  she’d  make  them  simple  sandwiches  but it felt like a grand dinner because  they’d  make  a  blanket  palette  in  the  floor,  spread  out  crayons  and  markers  and  color  in  coloring  books  with  scooby doo or designs  of  cars.  “that  one,  mom.  that  one  is  going  to  be  mine  and  i’ll  share  it  with  you.  i’ll  let  you  ride  my  car.”  he  giggled,  pointing  at  the  one called a Chevy ‘CAMARO’,  he  was  coloring  it blue  outside  the  lines.  “okay,  billy.  you  buy  us  that  one  and  i’ll  be  the  happiest  girl  in  the  world  to  ride  a  car  like  that  one!”  that’s  what  he  loved  about  his  mother,  she  encouraged  him.  he  felt  like  he  could  do  anything  and  that  one  day  his  dreams  really  would  come  true  of  having  the  coolest  car  in  the  world--  this  camaro.

where did they go to school? were they a good student? what was their favorite class?  he  went  to  school  in  california  all  of  his  life  until  half  way  into  high  school.  he  was  a  good  student  all  up  until  his  family  split  up  and  then  he  started  developing  issues  on  trying  to  concentrate.  he  went  from  a  timid,  sweet  little  kid  who  did  his  work  and  never  gave  any  teacher  trouble  to  acting  out  and  failing  everything  on  purpose.  detention  started  becoming  a  normal  thing  by  junior  high  every  friday,  blowing  off  homework,  talking  back  to  teachers  and  getting  in  fights  with  kids  who  picked  on  him  or  kids  he  just  didn’t  like— whenever it suited Billy’s sudden mood swings best.

what kind of hairstyle did they have?  his  hair  was  much  shorter,  he  didn’t  grow  it  out  until  the  end  of  junior  high, when all the long haired rock n roll bands emerged to the music scene and he wanted to look like that too.  it  was  way  more  blond  than  it  is  now,  a  bunch  of  sunshine  colored  curls  piled  cutely  on  top  of  his  head.

what did their childhood bedroom look like?  it  was  painted  blue  with  orange  curtains,  orange  was  trending  in  the  70s.  he  had  a  blue  and  orange  quilt  with  basketballs  and  teddy  bear  faces  across  the  pattern  from  age  3-7.  carpet  was  brown  and  he  had  shelves  next  to  the  bed  that  had  his  basketball  trophies  on,  stuffed  animals,  (his  favorite  teddy  bear  stayed  stuffed  under  his  orange  pillow  so  his  dad  couldn’t  destroy  that  one  in  case  he  ever  wanted  to  take  his  anger  out  on  his  special  things),  his  seashell  collection.  then  in  a  wooden  bench  that  sat  at  the  foot  of  his  bed,  he  had  basketballs  and  tons of toy  cars  piled  in  it.

did they have a favorite toy? why? what was it? do they still have it?  the  teddy  bear  his  mom  gave  him  when  he  was  a  baby,  he  just  formed  an  attachment  with  the  thing  like  he’s  always  done  with  things  he  really  loves.  he  thinks  he  doesn’t  have  it  but  it’s  actually  stuffed  in  one  of  the  boxes  he  hasn’t  unpacked  since  moving  from  california.  he  thought  his  dad  finally  found  it  and  threw  it  out,  but  it’s  been  stored  away  in  an  old  shoe  box  this  whole  time.

what was their favorite fairytale?  he  didn’t  like  fairytales,  he  liked  books  about  cars. (of course, lol.)  anything  to  do  with  cars  he  was  interested.

are there many photos of them or not?  they're  scarce.

did they have friends? how many? who were they? are they still in contact with them?  he  couldn’t  keep  friends  because  he  became  super  hostile  about  people  around the 5th grade. then in high school, he just automatically became popular for being the cutest guy in school and a really good basketball star. still, he had no real friends-- only people he'd consider as friends wasn't his fellow jocks but his fellow rock n rollers. anybody he could jam to rock music with, was his closest thing to a friend. but  there  was  one  girl  he  had  a  crush  on  in  9th  grade  who  he  considered  someone  he  was  relaxed  with.  that  was  fleeting,  however.

what kind of tv shows were they watching in their childhood? what was their favorite one?  from  3-6  he  loved  sesame  street,  then  when  he  was  getting  older  and  into  bigger  kid  cartoons  he  enjoyed  the  pink  panther,  tom  and  jerry,  flinstones,  scooby  doo.

what were their hobbies? do they still have any of them?  cars,  basketball,  surfing.  all  things  he  still  loves  to  do.

what was their favorite game?  tag  and  truth  or  dare.

was there any kind of food they hated? why? has it changed later in life?  cheeseburgers  or  pizza  with  toppings,  now  he  likes  both  with  plenty  of  toppings.  he  hated  broccoli   and   peas  and  still  hates   those.   he   never   has   preferred  pancakes,  he   likes  waffles  way  better.

did they have a crush on someone in their childhood?  there’s  been  a  few  girls,  but  it  was  a  dark  haired  girl  in  9th  grade  he  was  really  after.  it  didn’t  work  out  but  in the end he  found  better  qualities  in  a  girl  similar to  her  once  he  moved  to  hawkins--  heather  holloway.

[yikesharringrove]

Saddest billy hcs? I have one where he gets sexually abused by a lifeguard as a kid but never told anyone because he’s scared

I think you sent that to me, bc I for sure wrote one that was that. It’s here. (TW for mentioned sexual assault in the ficlet)

Okay, I’m gonna do this like I did the Steve one. Strap on in.

Warnings for mentions of child abuse and some allusions to substance abuse. There’s one labeled with a TW that deals with self-harm, some suicidal ideation, and substance abuse if you squint real hard

Billy’s a crier. He cries when he’s sad, angry, frustrated, happy, all the time. Neil knows this

They left California bc Neil found out Billy was dating/kissing/screwing another guy and you cannot change my mind

Billy genuinely thinks he’s never going to see 30. He doubts he’ll even see 25. Between Neil, and the fire inside of him that burns way too bright to be sustainable, he figures he’ll be a die young kinda guy

He was chubby as a kid. Neil often called him “Lard Ass”.

We see a lot of Billy using things his father has said against him, against other people, like in the flashback thing in season 3 when Neil calls him a pussy, and then he calls another kid a pussy, basically see above.

Sometimes he refuses to touch Steve for days on end because he is still so disgusted with himself for their fight and how much he hurt him and feels like he doesn’t deserve to touch Steve

Lucas was the first person he apologized to after That Night. Then to Max, then to Steve, then to Mrs. Byers

Hopper pulled him over once for speeding. Bily was shaking their entire interaction and Hopper decided to let him off with a warning when he noticed the red mark on his jaw

TRIGGER WARNING I go back and forth on this one. Sometimes I can picture modern Billy self-harming, but he tends to lash out more than put it on himself so I really don’t know. Sometimes it makes the most sense and sometimes I feel like he’d just be vaguely self-destructive, like party too much and do whatever drug he can get his hands on and drive drunk and just think like ‘if I die I die’

When he gets out of his dad’s house he goes down a big scary road of self-destruction bc he literally doesn’t know how to control himself outside of fearing for his safety from his own father.

Body issues? Body issues.

He has a very weird relationship with himself. He absolutely hates himself and who he is as a person, but he also thinks that he’s the best in all ways and swings wildly between both attitudes

The scar on his eyebrow is from his dad’s class ring. Billy buys an eyebrow pencil to fill it in because while he thinks he looks hot, he also really hates looking at it and knowing why it’s there

The first week they moved to Hawkins, Billy drove to Indianapolis and went on a bender for three days bc he just couldn’t deal with the fact that this shitty town has his life now.

His room has almost no furniture bc he was only allowed to bring what he could fit in the Camaro. He bought himself the couch and his bed frame second hand once they arrived in town

The first time Billy saw Steve was in between classes. Billy walked into a classroom on his first day at Hawkins High, and Steve was talking with the teacher and looked like he was about to burst into tears, and Billy noticed he was holding a failed test, and kept talking about how hard he studied, and his only thought was that he wanted to hold Steve and kiss the sad look off his face, and it was like a block of ice settled in his gut. He hates himself for liking guys, and that’s the whole reason they had to leave California, and he can’t do that here, Neil would kill him this time. He resolves to be nothing but fucking aggressive to Steve if they ever cross paths again because he needs Steve to hate him. He doesn’t have the capacity to stay away from him, he needs Steve to want nothing to do with him.

Steve of course ruins everything by forgiving him and falling in love with him and generally looking Like That so really Billy never stood a fucking chance

Billy has called his dad “Dad” less than five times in his life. It’s always “sir” or he calls him “Neil” when referring to him behind his back

Billy knows the exact date and time his mom left and that whole day is always really shitty for him. He usually spends it in the middle of a bender so he doesn’t have to think or feel about it

Billy felt absolutely disgusted by the group of moms by the pool, but figured if he didn’t play into it, they would start to ask questions, and rumors circulating about him fucking married women were probably better than the rumors about him fucking guys soooo, swings and roundabouts.

Teaching swim lessons is actually one of his favorite things he’s ever done. He can connect with the kids and he likes that kids just speak their minds and are kinda weird sometimes. It was nice to focus on them, too, and not their mothers ogling him from the sidelines

He came out to his mom a week and a half before she left and he often wonders if that’s why

His dad is ex-military and his plan is for Billy to join up after high school. Billy’s plan is to run away before then.

So, here they are. A lot of them kinda deal with the same stuff, but basically, yes.

[anonthenullifier]

Fic request for touristy Maximoff family? (bc Vision's 'drunk' awkwardness in Wandavision ep 2 where he apologised to a handrail, is something that I as a Brit intensely and deeply relate to, and it reminded me of them hiding out in the UK in IW which also made me v emotional- they deserved better!)

Thanks for the ask! They really did deserve better and hopefully might get some happiness at some point. I hope you enjoy their family day trip!

***

“Where are the witches?”

Vision folds the map into a square and slides it back into his fanny pack, nonchalance embedded in the action  “Oh, there are no witches.”

This isn’t what Billy wants to hear, “You said this is Witch House.”

“I did, yes.”

The conversation circles back around, “Then where are the witches?”

“Well technically there were never any true witches here in the first place.” Billy stares at Vision, betrayal drooping his mouth down into a deep and unforgiving frown. A history lesson isn’t going to save the moment, and yet her husband tries, determined to share the two weeks worth of research he’s conducted since they decided on the trip. “It is called Witch House because it was owned by Judge Jonathon Corwin who presided over some of the witch trials. Now, though some like to say witchcraft was rampant at the time, it in fact was -”

“But I wanted witches.” This is true, it was Billy’s only request—spooky witches to be precise. “You said there’d be witches.”

Tommy isn’t fully invested in the trip, having voted to go to an amusement park for their fall get-away, but he never passes up an opportunity to pile onto a complaint. “Yeah, where are the witches, dad?”

“Salem has far greater historical value than just the witch trials.” Not a smart tactic, which Vision realizes as soon as he says it, face scrunching up at the misstep while the gears in his eyes rotate furiously to the left signifying he’s attempting to figure out how to regain their confidence. “Um, from my understanding there may be some modern day witches in the village who provide tours and demonstrations. We can stop by once we have seen everything.”

This earns some consideration from their ten year olds. “Real witches or like herbal tea witches?”

Tommy piggybacks on his brother’s question, “Will they turn Billy into a frog?”

“No one is being transformed into an amphibian,” Vision reassures them.

“Lame.” Only a half hour in and the L word is out in the open, a new record for the Maximoffs.

Wanda rolls her eyes at the rebuttal and studies the building in front of them, a foreboding tiered facade with black wood trim that would fit right into a horror movie. Briefly she wonders if it was always black or if that was added to enhance the supernatural identity the town developed once they realized the tourism potential of their sordid past. If ominousness is what sells here, she knows how to reclaim their trip. “Vizh,” her husband meets her gaze,the exasperation of parenthood making him seem particularly desperate for her thoughts, “There was at least one witch you can tell them about.” Confusion crinkles his brow, “Agatha.”

Realization dawns, as if he had blocked out all memories of dear old Agatha. “Ah yes Agatha Harkness.” The name falters on his lips, uncertainty making residence in his body with the wringing of his hands.  “I am not sure they are old enough to hear about-“

“You owe us a witch, dad.” Tommy is very dedicated now, a grave frown on his face and an arm wrapped tenderly around his twin’s shoulders. “Billy deserves a witch.”

Vision folds, shoulders inching down in submission of their desires. “Agatha Harkness,” it is not that they have had bad experiences, per se, with Agatha, but she always intersects with their lives at moments of both wonderful highs and crippling lows, which is why Vision seems to weigh her name so heavily. “You will not see the name Agatha Harkness in any of the books about Salem.” Wanda can feel Vision mentally shut the books of information he’d acquired for the day. “She was a witch, a real one and very powerful as well as very old.”

“How old?” Billy’s eyes are shining at the change in tone for the trip. “Like ancient?”

“Positively ancient.” An enormous grin erupts on Billy’s face, while Tommy stands unusually rapt. “There are accounts of her presence all the way back to 10,500 BC, there are even rumors she was involved in the lost city of Atl-”

A cloyingly sweet and chipper “Excuse me,” breaks the story and the atmosphere. The voice belongs to a short, blonde haired woman in a puffy vest and flannel shirt, “I couldn’t help but overhear your tour and was hoping we could join.” The we is a man a few years older than the woman, his gray mustache thick enough to hide whatever his feelings are about the request.

Vision’s lips part and then close a few times, hand half raised as he processes the intrusion. “Oh um, this is a uh private tour,” a nervous, placating smile tries to shoo away the couple. It doesn’t work, neither does his, “Terribly sorry for the confusion.”

Typically on their trips people come up to them because they are Avengers, but Wanda doesn’t detect the same motivation from the couple, neither seeming to actually recognize them. The husband appears a bit concerned about Vision’s appearance while the wife assumes it is for show, “Oh well, you just seem dressed the part, you little devil,” Wanda tries not to laugh, something Tommy fails at, chuckling at the way the comment wilts his father further. Whoever this woman is ignores the reaction, soldiering on ahead as if it is her job to get what she wants. “And you are giving this beautiful family such a lovely tour. We’d love to join in.”

Vision weighs his response, eyes first surveying the very clearly matching sweatshirts they are wearing, this year’s travel theme the Maximoff Bunch. Each of them has a navy sweatshirt with Cambria font declaring their role-- Vision’s sweatshirt (that is real clothing, not molecularly manipulated so that he has a keepsake from their trip) is emblazoned with Papa-ya, their less than thrilled 10 year olds are sporting ones labeled Bil(ly)berry and Tommy-rillo, and Wanda’s deviates a bit with Mom-osa, Vision crushed to not find a fruit close enough to mom to complete the bunch. This should be enough to convince this woman that they are all a family and not a tour group...and yet she just keeps smiling sweetly at Vision until he gives in. “We’re happy to pay.”

Now Vision turns towards Wanda, searching for a response or a rescue. She doesn’t get a chance to help, Tommy speaking up first, “Fifty a person fair?”  

“Thomas I do not-”

“Completely fair.”

The glare from Vision assures their son that they are going to talk about this on the ride home, Tommy’s impulsivity almost always at odds with Vision’s desire for control and planning.

Vision turns towards the couple, hands clasped tightly in a sign that another apology is on it’s way but it is stopped by Billy recentering their attention to what is most important. “How can Agatha be so old?”

Faced with numerous smiling and eager faces, Vision seems to accept his newfound role with a deep, soundless sigh, “Well, she is a very powerful witch, one who even survived the Salem Witch Trials.”

“No way!”

“Very much so. Let us return to 10,500 BC first.” Now that he is free to regale them with history, albeit seasoned with a heaping amount of occult, Vision finds his element. They learn about how Agatha came to be in Salem, about the Witch House and the judge who dwelled there, of the frenzy that occurred in people pointing fingers at anyone who was suspicious or merely disliked. The boys are enraptured listening to the tales of injustice and prejudice and, as they move from the Witch House to the hill on which many witches were burned at the stake, their little tour group increases in size, a trail of eight people joining on.

Surprisingly her husband takes it all in stride, welcoming each new person and asking their name. What really seems to excite Vision is when their crew asks questions. One of the newbies stops him during his soliloquy on what behaviors were deemed witchy. “Is it true that witches danced naked?”

Vision’s charm is on full display, lips cocked to the side as he shakes his head at the idiocy of the past, “Merely a salacious rumor because titillation is more convincing than honesty.”

A voice from the back of the group declares, “That’s because history is written by lonely men.”

Without missing a beat, her husband nods appreciatively at the running commentary from this particular guest, “A very astute observation, Taiyah, yet again. Now let’s turn our attention back to the Court of Oyer and Terminer.”

As the tour keeps moving through the harrowed landmarks, Billy is at the front, always just to the side of Vision, soaking in every word of information. Tommy, on the other hand, oscillates between the front and the back, eventually deciding to stick with Wanda. “This is starting to get a bit lame.”

“Your father and brother are having fun.”

His annoyed sigh seeks companionship, which she won’t give because she’s enjoying herself as well. “It’s just so much talking.” It is more than Tommy is ever willing to listen to, his mind and body always seconds, if not hours, ahead of them all. “Where’s the excitement?”

Sweeping the environment is a key aspect of missions and right now Wanda has assessed that the majority of the group are crowded around a tree, listening to the story of how Agatha supported parts of the trials out of a need to cull the weaker witches and remove her competition, it is a dark aspect of the tour, barely a sound existing to interfere with Vision’s explanation of the witch’s intentions. “Watch this.” Tommy stares at Wanda as she lifts her hand, scarlet undulating around her fingers, and then she flicks a finger, the tree trembling mightily despite no breeze to speak of. Several people gasp, one woman screams, and instantly Vision locks eyes with her, not one to ever be deceived by her influence. She expects irritation at disrupting his story, but instead there’s a little spark of mischief in his swirling irises, an almost imperceptible uptick to the left corner of his mouth that takes all her energy not to go and enjoy.

“Don’t you all tell us not to do that?” Tommy’s voice is bated, eager to figure out if their limits on use of powers in public is about to be lessened.

“No one goes on a witch tour without hoping for a little bit of magic.” The shit eating grin on his face is almost a perfect replica of Pietro’s and one she can’t help but mirror. “Just watch and learn.”

***

By the time they reach the Witch Village, the agreed upon conclusion of their tour, Vision can’t get a word in edgewise, the entire group riled up, swapping observations of the branches that moved without wind, the sense of dread that engulfed their minds at the guilty verdict of Agatha, or the heat they felt when the pyre was verbally lit. It’s this sense of awe that makes not a single person listen to Vision’s insistent, “Sorry, please, I do not want your money. Please, keep it for yourselves.” Instead of listening to him, everyone shoves their payment into the cup that Tommy so helpfully procured from the concession stand nearby.

Once all the people are gone, it is just the Maximoffs once again.  “Was that sufficient in witches?”

Billy’s enthusiastic nods sends his hair bobbing with glee. “So awesome.”

“I have a question,” this comes from Tommy, who has already bought an ice cream cone with their earnings, the swirl of chocolate and vanilla towering up from his fist, “would we have been considered witches back then?”

“Well,” Vision’s arm snakes around her waist, pulling her until their hips are touching, the pride in his voice wrapping her even more snugly with his affection, “your mother already is a stunning one.”

“Gross.”

“And I no doubt would be viewed as inherently supernatural and thus evil,” something that is said with levity instead of the usual depths of despair that accompanies Vision’s grapple with humanity. “The two of you would also be suspect, simply from your parentage but also, well-”

“So the answer is yes?”  Vision concedes with a nod. “Great, wanna go take a picture in the arm thingies over there?” They follow the ice cream cone as it points them towards a small square where people are taking turns putting their heads and hands through the holes.

“That would be a pillory,” Vision helpfully defines, but neither of their sons are listening, having already taken off to join the line for the photo op.

Wanda takes their brief solitude to encircle his waist with her arm, squeezing him tight and kissing his shoulder. “You have fun?”

His arm moves to rest along her shoulders, “Surprisingly yes, it was a bit exhilarating to have a truly captive audience.”

Wanda hugs him tighter, “Good.” Billy and Tommy wave them over, only ten people now ahead of them in line. They look so carefree, jostling each other with whatever it is they are bickering about now, their happiness with the day unashamedly stitched into every movement. Given who they are, Wanda is glad they are alive now and not during a time of greater hatred. Which brings her mind back to the woman who made the tripa success. “Vizh?”

“Hmm?”

“When do you think we should let them meet Agatha?”

They stop, Vision sometimes unable to think and walk at the same time, and the toil in his mind is palpable even without her powers. “I believe,” he too takes in their sons, a fluttering smile on his lips the longer he stares, “it might be best she remains a story for a little bit longer.”

[something-tofightfor]

Also 😂😂 I feel like the kid ask demands the following

OC: I want a baby

Din: oh my gosh. Steal one [thats what happened you can't tell me it didnt!!!]

OC: I want a baby

Billy: billy russo has left the chat

OC: babe?!

OC: I want a baby

Ezra: a baby baby?

OC: the alive kind

Ezra: a human baby or a small furry whiskered baby

OC: either or (I have never seen this movie. I got 5 minutes in and then riddle with guilt about all the things I Should be doing )

OC: I want a baby

Benjamin: i'm baby

OC: I want a baby

Jack: I'm gonna veto that /yeehaw OR

Jack: when the time is right

OC: I want to have a baby

Logan: we have to finish game of thrones

OC: seriously

Logan: do I sound like I'm kidding

OC: I want a baby

Javier: good for tax returns (I have also never seen this show asjdhdks)

OC: I want a baby

Caspian: I want us to go to sleep at a normal time. Guess neither of those are happening

OC: I want a baby

Ryan: we only have like $12 combined

These are all in good fun 😘 not meant to offend anyone who actually does want kids. Just... everyone knows we like, like 67% of this list bc these people are human trash fires. Who are absolutely not stable enough to raise small humans. Babies are great at derailing life 😂 or plots, but kids don't fix things. That said I DO appreciate so much how you and a lot of other writers have made it like, word of god that Logan loved Emily so much and that everyone stays true to "grumpy solitary traveler adopts a chaos child" as sort of Din's whole schtick

UNDER A CUT BECAUSE LENGTH:

Real talk, the "i want a baby" text trend always makes me laugh. I didn't send one to my BF, and instead told him out loud one day, and his response was "I want an Amazing Fantasy 15, which costs less than a kid" and then proceeded to tell me that if I was serious it wouldn't be with him. (AF 15 is the first ever appearance of spider man and it's roughly a $200,000 book in GOOD condition, and a half million in GREAT condition) But as for the guys:

Din's is half correct; he wouldn't want you to steal a child, because then people would be after you, but I could see him telling you to keep an eye out for one in need. Billy peacing out ASAP and going no contact ... 10000000% accurate Ezra having a pet makes me feel all mushy inside because I feel like giving that man ANY sort of domesticity is such a good outcome for him. (i can't say much else if you haven't seen it, because I don't want to spoil the movie - but if you get a chance please watch!) Benjamin ... just wants to be loved and I feel like he wouldn't want toshare right away and if you saw my most recent post... he needs just as much care as a kid sometimes, so... you are not incorrect.

Jack i can hear him saying that he vetoes the idea. That's very Jack. I think he would have made a good dad - but I also think it would have changed him a LOT as a person, and I'm not sure that as a Statresman, it's the right time ... so the second half checks out, too. Logan ... oof. Yeah, that's about right, too. I can't see him wanting to share anyone he finally chooses to love like that; I truly think that he enjoys his lifestyle too much - and if he DID have a kid, he wouldn't want to have a nanny care for it - so he would HAVE to change. I DO though, think that his fears of being like Jim are totally unfounded, and that he could be a really good dad ... but it's not on his list of priorities. Javi and his tax returns, ahahaha. He seems like the type of that would have waited until the last possible second to fill out his returns. and all other important paperwork - but DAMN if he would use an advantage like that. I don't think he would have wanted to risk having a baby in Colombia - but he'd be just a little more open to it when his life calmed down slightly. I don't think that was ever in the cards for him - and there's SO LITTLE actual information available about the real Javi that it's hard to tell... but during the time of Narcos? Definitely not a good idea for him. Caspain ... poor man just wants to sleep after dealing with King Stuff all day, and I am right there with him. Ryan ... my version of Ryan and reader have considerably more than $12, but I still don't know about introducing a kid. Definitely not while he was traveling, because we see what happens to Cowboy and Ginny... and how miserable it made Cowboy. I agree with you about the trash fires. Wholeheartedly. I also think that they mean well most of the time (With the exception of Billy.) Raising children isn't easy, and I think that that's why so many of them in canon did not HAVE kids of their own (I know Caspian has one later) and instead focused on found family. You're right again when you say kids don't fix things, and it's not fair to use them to TRY to fix things or change someone. Logan being the Best Uncle Ever for Emily - and literally DOTING on her whenever he could SHOULD HAVE BEEN canon. I'm thankful, too, that so many writers decided that was the case, and are running wild with it. Her main male influence seems to have been William, which is a GD mess and a half... and I want to change that indefinitely. And as for Din and Grogu? Chaos child is the way I will address him from now on so thank you for that. And that grumpy man smiles ALL THE TIME under that helmet at Grogu, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

[icecreamkink]

so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe 

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence ....  but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad 

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that 

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured. 

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot”  that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird. 

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN 

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

 the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute  

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased  

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong! 

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid 

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene 

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit 

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve  done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better 

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT 

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that? 

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK 

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is       

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation,  and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like   Like them, as in, personality wise 

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues, 

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

 demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

 carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon, 

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast 

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory        miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying! 

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

 and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses? 

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

 tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :( 

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that    but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting??   ?  ??    ??        ?                ?    ?          ??                  ?    ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture...  uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@  johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart. 

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY 

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out 

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

 ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd 

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

[reversecreek]

snickers feverishly at myself for bringing in a 5th... who do i think i am? unstoppable? invincible? suddenly ripples my titanium plated pecs. maybe so. u can find her pinterest here n her playlist here. 

* margaret qualley, cis female + she/her  | you know bradley milligan, right? they’re twenty-four, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to looking for knives by dyan like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole snow angels trampled through by your father’s footprints, casually reading a newspaper that’s catching flame & stubbing a cigarette against the wing mirror of a parked cop car thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is november 11th, so they’re a scorpio, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her  )

HISTORY:

bradley has this memory of meeting her grandmother for the first time n everything in the room was frozen still. even the air. she didn’t feel like she cld move n she got the impression this is how it’d always been in the milligan lineage. the only thing that was allowed to act of it’s own accord was her grandmother’s eyes as she tracked every slightest flinch of muscle. when her father left the room her grandmother reached out and took bradley’s hand n bradley looked at this like it was smthn she’d never seen before until her grandmother leaned close and all she could stare at was a nicotine stain on one of her front teeth. “he’s cold, isn’t he? he’s always been cold. i don’t think he’s mine.” bradley could tell from how tight she held her hand that he was. she could tell by the way she smiled as she said it, too. the way she felt obliged to smile back.

growing up in a huge white house in aquila drive w pruned hedges sounds idyllic n looks it too. swanky cars w tinted windows in the long driveway. always men filing in and out under the cloak of night wearing expensive suits n smiles worthy of a politician’s billboard. bradley’s mum alyssa thought so too n that’s hw she got into this whole mess tbh. tony milligan is very good at advertising. he cld package a jarred human heart as strawberry jam and convince u to spread it on ur toast if he wanted to. he could make u smile politely as u ate ur own. 

alyssa ws this very pretty blonde kind of mysterious presence in a room. everyone wanted to kno her story or fk her but noone rly treated her like a person more just like a puzzle to solve. john green syndrome alert..... literally manic pixie dream girled bt on turbo charge. there were vague whispers she’d run away from home when she appeared in town out of nowhere bt nothing concrete. tony decided he wanted to crack the case n once he set his mind to something there was no changing it. they wound up embroiled in a whirlwind romance. head over heels. he came at romance hard and fast as a freight train. alyssa knew he was into shady things but not quite the full extent of it n honestly she didn’t care bc she wanted security n a family to call her own n tony promised that. they were married within a year. 

tony came frm money bt he wanted to carve his own path n make his own legacy. destined fr greatness he’d tell her. we’re destined for greatness. it sounds nice doesn’t it! alyssa thought so too.

(drugs mention tw) slowly over the yrs he essentially forged his own crime organisation tht only grew. he opened a strip club down the seedier side of irving called ‘no angels’ n this became the front thru which his gang ran drugs in the back (predominantly coke n they pride themselves fr having a Superior Blend apparently) as well as laundering cash n this also was kind of their home base to hang

(abuse tw) their marriage increasingly lost it’s shine n alyssa came to realise she’d been sold a lie n she didn’t rly know this person or what he was capable of right around the time bradley was born. by then it was kind of like Wow i am rly in this n there is not an exit door huh. i won’t go into details bt things were not good at all. bradley witnessed n experienced a lot of things she shouldn’t have growing up. she didn’t understand why other kids drew home in all these different coloured crayons like they were bright places to be. she didn’t understand why everyone got so excited when the bell rang at the end of the day bc she just felt sick. she rationalised tht this was normal when she was younger bc sometimes kids talked abt the monsters under their beds giving them nightmares n she thought mayb they were talking abt their dads too. as she got older she realised tht actually her world wasn’t the same as anyone else’s n she also realised no-one wld ever be able to tell her why. she started becoming friends with the angry feeling in her chest tht she used to try and swallow around this time. often she’d wander the mall for a while to put off going home. smoke on random park benches. watch trains rattle thru town from the vantage point of a random rooftop. 

(abuse, missing person implied, murder implied & grief tw) when bradley was 12 she woke up and all of her mum’s clothes were gone frm their drawers. no shoes anywhere. a framed photo of them at the beach holding bradley as a baby vanished from over the mantelpiece. when bradley asked her dad what was going on, tony essentially said “it was exhausting her. being here. being your mother. she didn’t want to do it any more, so now she’s gone” n then he hugged her. little details leaked into the mix over the yrs. at one point tony dismissed her as having flown overseas to a foreign country to drink in the sun like she’d always wanted even tho alyssa always told bradley she liked the snow best (once she even walked outside as it fell in a thin lace nightgown when tony was out n when bradley said “mom you’re gonna get cold” she only tugged her down and made her do snow angels until her lips looked blue). the most significant memory bradley can never shake from her head is her mother cupping a yellow tulip at the park n saying she hated them. when bradley asked why she only turned and smiled at her as she stroked the hair from her face n then said “because they look so happy”. after bradley’s mum vanished a long flower bed at the bottom of the garden was suddenly overrun with dozens of freshly planted yellow tulips. whenever bradley looked at them out of her window she got this sickly feeling in the pit of her stomach like she was visiting a cemetery. she suspected what had happened to her mum (especially as rumours circulated within tony’s organisation abt alyssa being unfaithful with someone tht used to work fr him) bt she cld never bring herself to truly accept it. thus she ws stuck in this strange purgatory state of not-quite-anger at her mum for “leaving” and not-quite-grief.

bradley rly started to transgress in school after her mum was gone. alyssa was always kind of a character when she’d pick bradley up (wasn’t doing well n acted kind of ‘eccentric’ i suppose u cld say) so tony managed to spin it all as a child acting out in the wake of an unfit mother uprooting n abandoning. bradley became........ interesting. JKHGFSSKJGHFSGHSKFGHFG. she’d snap n resort to violence very easily. very desensitised to it. students were kind of scared of her tbh. as this progressed into proper high school she got in w the more rowdy popular crowd solely bc she was so fking.... wild for lack of a better word. rly would just do anything fr the thrill. had no sense of ‘i shouldn’t do this bc it’s dangerous’. partied harder than anyone. bit back harder than anyone. no filter. hung w a lot of guys honestly bc they had less morals n either found her scariness cool or wanted to fk <3

(hospitalisation, depression & drugs tw) she’s had. a few stints in psychiatric institutions fr various reasons tbh. missed a small chunk of her senior yr fr this but it wasn’t widely known just kind of rumoured. she showcases a lot of similar symptoms to her mum who struggled w severe depression (which was difficult to cope w when ur husband was often pouring ur prescription down the drain fr kicks) n in order to compensate fr the lows she takes a lot of things to kick them into highs. drinks n snorts too much. bradley i love u bt i’m begging u to seek healthier coping mechanisms......

as the yrs went on (especially once alyssa had gone) tony rly started trying to integrate bradley into the business side of things...... she literally. is named bradley bc he was expecting a boy n he was like well let’s still call her bradley. n had in mind she’d still fulfil the role he wanted her to of being his little protege so to speak.... both sexist n ugly all in one fell swoop...... an example of this is he literally. bought her a mint green switchblade for her 14th birthday n named it tinkerbell bc it would “die without attention” aka using it. tht sounds like a healthy gift to give a child tony congratulations sis <3

in an ideal world bradley wld have gone to uni to study psychology bc she jst wants to know how the fk her dad is literally like that bt she probably stuck around n is now managing no angels along with billy n marco (billy’s in her dad’s gang n is, u guessed it, a cunt, n marco is his sort of right hand man so to speak) bc tony’s in the closest neighbouring city overseeing a second ‘no angels’ opening up there to expand into a franchise n widen their income margins. bradley wld also be sort of used as a honey trap type deal once she got older if they needed to lure ppl places n sometimes still is bt it depends. the guys in the club all know not to mess w bradley bc she’s tony’s daughter n literally kind of scary herself sometimes bt there’s also this certain allure tht comes with being the boss’ daughter n it kind of comes across in how they act or talk abt her. yes i will kill them all n no i won’t feel bad abt it <3

think that’s kind of all u need to kno history wise... blinks one eye out of sync w the other..... runs to personality

PERSONALITY:

a phrase i wld always use to describe bradley in old intros is “like a cup of black coffee with one grain of sugar that u don’t taste until the last sip”. also dark chocolate. lime. liquorice. she’s an acquired taste n i feel like u either love her or u hate her. 

cannot express how unpredictably chaotic she is..... frequently throws a drink in a stranger’s face jst to start something bc she’s bored. loves to hurl cheese slices across the room so they slap onto someone’s face out of nowhere. likes smashing things. stubbing cigarettes out on faces in framed family photographs. will literally pick a lock n then smash the window besides it to defeat the whole purpose just bc she found how neat it was boring. does anything fr the adrenaline n thrill. gets into far too many fights n fights dirty. probably been thrown out of every bar in town at least three times. banned from a bunch too.

she’s witty bt she has a dark sense of humour..... can be quite mean.......... loves to roast ppl for no reason........ honestly has some nathan young frm misfits aspects in that sense like jst seems untouchable emotionally n like she doesn’t take anything seriously n is fking outrageous about it.....

has this quality abt her tht kind of scares herself sometimes. it’s like she recognises parts of her dad in her. she’s very perceptive (bc she’s had to be over the yrs trying to read every micro-expression of her dad’s to predict what’s next) n like emotionally intelligent in a way which is ironic bc her own emotions r just an absolute minefield.... bt. she can read people quite well. gets this eerily calm look abt her sometimes n it’s jst like god what’s. she thinking. what’s she’s gna do. i’m shaking. a cool n controlled kind of rage can often be scarier than the explosive type n bradley does that well. grits my teeth n tugs on my collar....

very strong on the surface. hates being vulnerable. has this ingrained idea that crying is childish or rly any kind of emotional display within herself. 50% not taking things seriously 50% angry. tht’s how she comes across....... internally? whole different story. bt ppl don’t see that.

very cavalier abt some things. will flash her tits n not even think abt it. jst very out there...... one of her closest friends is a homeless man named joe who wears neon purple fishnets on his head n loves to spit on ppl from over an underpass. finds eccentric ppl like this funny n surrounds herself w them. loves to be kept on her toes.

LOVES driving stolen cars down the wrong side of the highway. it’s a lot.

fiercely loyal to a fault to a select few bt if u wrong her personally this can switch pretty quick. quite a force to b reckoned w n will hold a grudge. bt like. if ur a Chosen One she’d bury a body for u no questions asked. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS

deals to u: bradley isn’t like full time into dealing bt she does do it sometimes.... treats it kind of like a hobby bc the lesser ranked can do tht shit as far as she’s concerned bt.. sometimes also jst gets bored n is like. why not. might be chaotic. mayb they’ll try to rob me <3 we love the thrill <3 or like..... if ur friends w her she’ll deal to u n no she will not do a friends discount <3 or if she does there will definitely be some sort of stipulation attached <3

high skl crew: if ur muse is local n ws an absolutely demonic hell spawn in high skl tht went to 1974547254 parties n was outrageously chaotic n rude then. bradley probably was friends w them <3 her friendships tend to be surface level bt they’d definitely go out a bunch bt whether they actually knew a lot abt her life is debatable bt we could explore options fr this

people who work at no angels: no angels is her dad’s strip club in irving that she kind of helps to run now. it’s kind of a shifty environment. the place where ud have an outrageous bachelor party. u go for the first time w a fake id n u get served bt u also get ur wallet stolen n ur convinced someone spat in ur drink n u also kind of think there might b a hit on u now after u made eye contact too long w a broad shouldered man smoking in a back booth. scary environment. testament to her dad as a person. maybe ur muse is a dancer there or works the bar or security or whatever u name it....

ma’am are u ok?: ur muse found bradley passed out across two bus seats one time in smudged dark eyeliner a silver slip dress n the world’s chunkiest combat boots this town hs ever seen. sometimes she winds up in spots like this when she goes too hard n it’s absolutely dangerous n reckless bt that’s jst bradley <3 mayb they forged an unlikely friendship frm this strange meeting or maybe even? dare i say it? a romance? opposite worlds colliding? good influence? let’s go crazy. release ur inhibitions. feel the rain on ur skin.

hook-ups: bradley’s cavalier abt this stuff..... very unemotional typically..... mayb we cld do an unrequited thing that wld be angsty n fun altho i won’t lie i don’t kno if she’d be the one to catch the feelings.... she rarely sleeps over bt once when she woke up in someone’s bed she hiked over to straddle them carefully as possible so they wldn’t wake up n then pressed her knife to their neck as a fun little surprise where she said boo when they opened their eyes.... she’s a lot clearly.

watermelon slugger, hiiii: bradley has this habit where she gets a bunch of watermelons n then goes to a rooftop n throws them over the edge to watch them explode when they hit the pavement.... maybe ur muse almost got hit by one once n were like WTF???????? another quirky meet cute moment like the bus one <3 can’t stop w them <3 maybe she randomly invited ur muse to do it w her when they were like. a stranger of f the street. she was bored. decided to adopt them as a science experiment. we cn elaborate on this probably....

ouch charlie: similar territory bt she also sometimes shoots pedestrians w a bb gun from rooftops. mayb ur muse wld always get hit by one on a certain route they walked n finally one day they saw her head ducking down behind a ledge n then they see her in the street one day n are like HEY IT’S YOU............. WTF? n bradley’s like ya i’m christ risen again it’s a lot to take in i know...

rly jst anything... mutually destructive friends... exes.... in one rp a character tried to get close to bradley so he cld write an expose all book about her n her family which i found so fking funny so i’ll request that again.... people she’s fought.... ppl whose gf/bf she’s fk’d n it’s caused enemy status.... someone whose place she broke into and shaved their eyebrows off in the night only to draw them on again in crudely thin permanent sharpie lines.... roommates cld be fun n sexy i’d love that actually.... jst anything rly. go wild. kisses everyone tenderly on cheeks.