#bc all of the major ones I have that last a long ass time always include me combing through a filmography honestly so

[daincrediblegg]

oops I'm getting in on this train

[destielembarker]

SFW & NSFFW ABC’s: LOGAN HOWLETT x Fem!READER EDITION

tags: FLUFFY, THEN EQUAL AMOUNTS NOT, cuddling, crying reader, fighting, blood, angry logan, pain kink, biting, hair pulling (m! receiving), no use of “y/n”, reader has a pus$y, cheating (mentioned), dirty talk, x-men characters, wade wilson, 18+ (let me know what else i need to add)

notes: i have severe adhd so be prepared for these not to be answered in the way they were intended but the appreciation is there all the same. also shitty grammar bc i decided to be a STEM major. please comment if you enjoyed!! love hearing your opinions.

SFW alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

This mfer does NOT do pda but that doesn’t mean he isn’t affectionate. You’ve grown to be okay with it. When it’s just you two in yalls bedroom in the mansion, he will never take his hands off you. Always following you to each room like a lost puppy. You’ve had to kick him out the bathroom a few times bc he says he doesn’t care but come on! He tries so hard to use his words too but it never comes out quite right so he sticks to physical touch.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

His hard ass dismissive attitude makes it hard to be friends with him and he knows that. ‘Push everyone away so you never get hurt’ kinda situation. But you bond in making fun of people. you both giggle when Scott trips over a chair and hell, if you’re gonna be mean, might as well do it together. The moment that solidified it between you two is when you had been in the mansion for about a week but never seen Logan before. You walk into Xavier’s office where he was chatting with Jean and you immediately blurt out “Nice hairdo dickhead!” and he, without missing a beat, responds, “Nice forehead fuckass!” and he mocks your fake gasp.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

This man doesn’t cuddle, he cages you in, in literal adamantium bars. He wraps his entire body around you and holds on tight like it’s his last time. You’re also smaller than him so his stomach is curled around your back and once he’s asleep, there’s no fucking way you’re moving his arms bc they are so heavy. His legs also braid between yours so you’re immobilized. You’ve had to explain a few times that he gets hot at night and breathing is a necessary function but he doesn’t change.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Bachelor of what, 200 years now? (he’s got some bad habits) He’s very weary when it comes to settling but mentioning a nice place in the woods peaks his interest. It takes a lot for him to admit that’s what he wants but when he does, you know instantly he isn’t just the type to settle with anyone and you’re special. He’s dated yes, but he usually plays the typical male card on some house work tho. He handles a majority of the outside work while inside he doesn’t care for much. Which is ok bc he allows you to be a stay at home wife bc of the nature of his work and he wants you to be as safe as possible.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

It ain’t logan if it doesn’t go down in flames. and shit it would. He would definitely hit you where it hurts saying things like “I never loved you, you were simply accessible and easy!” and “Why do you care so much about me when I care so little about you?” and shit. it causes so much pain and resentment you’ve rather him cheat on you at this point.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Oh this a long long long wait but you two ain’t rushing to get hitched. He must first feel you’re worthy to keep around first because he ain’t just giving his heart away willy nilly, he’s been hurt multiple times and so have you. But after you almost died on a mission trying to save him he knew you were the one. And hell you’re already doing what married couples do now just without the kids, ceremony, and rings. He knows you’re his and you know he’s yours. You suggested the idea of rings but he claimed he would lose it so don’t waste your money on it. but you two mark each other up in other ways to set your claim so…

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

He’s like a big dog that forgets he isn’t a lap dog. You’ve had to remind him he’s bigger and stronger so his seemingly small nudges from him feel like big pushes. He learns quickly and is soft and gentle and considerate too! Kinda same situation for emotionally, he’s a man out of his time so men didn’t really show emotions back then but he knows to keep you around, you gotta hear some type of verbal conformation of his love. He starts slowly with “You look nice today.” then slowly evolves into “I’d rather die than not spend another day with you in my life.” and that’s about as gentle as it gets.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Aside from running hugs (check my last post) he is such a good hugger. Remember what I said about PDA? hugs don’t count. He will wrap is arms around your neck and just stay there while he has conversations with the team. Seeing each other after two weeks? He will pick you up and swing you around after he gets back. He loves to pick you up to hug your middle to hear your heart beat while you hug his head. but sometimes he squeezes too much making you without oxygen.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

This comes after a year of yall being together when you had a massive argument about his relationship with Jean. He is always flirty with her and it makes you kinda jealous, so you confront him about it. He gets defensive and finally blurts out. “I DONT LOVE HER. I LOVE YOU.” and the room goes silent. You both stare at each other for a minute then you just smile and walk out. Not a ‘i love you’ back or anything because he was being a dick. But, eventually it comes later that night in bed. He gets so happy he cuts off your air supply from the kisses and hugs.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

If there’s one major thing that makes him different than the other guys you’ve been with, it’s his possessive jealousy. If another guy does so much as come within 3 feet of you he puts himself between you and him. At the grocery store checking out, and its male cashier? He will do all the talking and paying. And don’t get me started on Scott teasing him about taking you away from him. The claws come out and you have to grab him before he launches himself in Scott’s direction.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

This man and his kisses. I don’t think there’s a place on your body he hasn’t kissed. All over you from the very top of your head to the bottom of your feet he loves it all. And don’t get be started on the ‘racing home from a mission to meet you in your shared bedroom’ kiss. It’s more of a long drawn out sloppy make out session. Half the time you meet him at the door to your shared room and he can’t even say hello before you’re all over him. Where specifically does he like to be kissed you ask? This is the sfw section so use your imagination on that one.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Strangely enough this gruff exterior man loves kids. He prefers if they can walk and talk unless they’re y’all’s. He is such so interactive too. With his increased stamina he loves to tire them out by asking “do you wanna race?” and thus he runs those suckers out so they sleep and you two can do adult things.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

He’s very quiet and grumpy. It starts with him rolling over towards your side of the bed. whether you’re awake or not he kisses your forehead or lips. If he has any extra time he will wrap his body around you and grumbles, “Good morning beautiful” and just hums when you stir awake. He isn’t much of a talker in the morning so you both just place soft kisses on each other until you meet each other in the bathroom for your morning shower together.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Similar situation as morning, depending on what the occasion is. If you’re hanging around the kitchen having a drink with Jean, Scott, and Ororo; he loves to talk and wind down with them then eventually both of you stumble to bed. A lot of kisses and cuddles. Some nights are shared with the both of you watching a movie, cuddled on the couch making occasional comments. He does turn into a grumpy old man when he gets tired so usually you turn to physical affection instead of verbal to keep him happy.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Oh this man has lived and loved. He has double the life time of memories that are fuzzy sometimes so something might remind him of something and tell you about it. I don’t think there is enough time in your life to hear everything there is to know about this man. Your relationship didn’t start on a long emotional outdraw, but, a hot heated physical relationship, then-turned-soft situation. Having to pry into his head about how he feels about certain things usually is how you learned what you do know about him.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Anger isn’t the right word when you piss him off. Annoyed is more like it, at least that’s what you think of it like. You know he isn’t really angry because if he was those claws would come out more often. But from an outside perspective he’s saying things like “Shut the fuck up.” and “Stop speaking for 5 goddamn seconds.” and you know he doesn’t really intend harshness, just annoyance. It depends on the situation if he is patient tho. If it’s a serious situation, he will snap at you. If it’s a lovers quarrel he will sit you down and talk about it (with his dick in your mouth)

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Logan doesn’t forget any of the smallest details about you. One time you off handily mentioned that you don’t like tomatoes, so when he makes you and sandwich, he remembers no tomatoes for you. It was a tiny gesture but it was so sweet. He knows you like it quiet in the morning and loud music at night. He knows everything, even your favorite brand of tampons.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The month you first met was probably his favorite because all you two were doing was bickering. He would always say he was teasing you but you genuinely were spitting harsh remarks which he laughed off and dismissed. You knew he was attractive from the moment you two locked eyes but the constant arguments lead to a unusual rage that lied somewhere between frustration and hunger. Eventually, one night, it built so much in your body you started drunkly yelling at him, and he started laughed which pissed you off even more. So you marched across the room to smacked that smirk right off his face, that’s when he grabbed your wrist before it collided with his face and shoved you against the wall and started aggressively kissing you quiet. You were so angry trying to push him off but your body got the best of you and your fingers traveled to his hair to pull him closer to deepen the kiss. One thing lead to another and you woke up the next morning in his bed with nothing on.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Go back to J for reference. but he is aggressively protective of you. Claws out anytime he senses something might take you away from him. You attempt the same for him but you both know with his advanced healing and his aggressive behavior, nothing can get to him. And hell, you tried to protect him one time and you almost died, so he usually takes control of physical threats. Verbal threats? He loves to watch you argue with other people about how “taken” he really is, and he stands back with his arms crossed and smirks.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

God forbid you lift a finger on everyday tasks, he always growls and pushes you out of the way. dishes? laundry? cooking? He doesn’t say anything but comes over and takes whatever you’re doing and motions you to sit down. There’s only so much “I got this!” or “Let me do it!” you can say before he stops responding and keeps rinsing the plates in the sink. Where you differ is dates and anniversaries. You love all the “lovey dovey shit”. You never took much interest in any of the romance before but seeing him surrounded in rose petals and candle glow creates such a perfect contradiction you have to keep doing it. You can’t decide if he really likes it or not but he always grumbles and smiles everytime you do something romantic so you keep doing it.

You both really don’t do big gifts but sometimes you find something like a leaf shaped as a heart or a zippo with your initial and a heart around it in a gas station and gift it to him. He does similar things for you just to let each of you know you were thinking of one another when you’re away from each other. The only big gift he does unprovoked is get you a beautiful engagement ring.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Beard trimmings in the sink. Use his claws for unnecessary things which leaves scratch marks on things (there’s only so much you can touch up the paint on the wall before you give up.) Smoking in the house. Leaves the toilet seat up. Works too much. Tracks mud in the house with his work boots. He makes growly noises at night which sometimes stirs you awake. HE SNORES. (not a bad habit but it happens)

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

He doesn’t try to but he’s just naturally beautiful. the hair the beard he tries to keep trimmed but he doesn’t really care because you tell him everyday that he is the most physically attractive man that has ever crossed your path.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Definitely. The yearning in his body that he feels when you’re apart for an hour, let alone weeks while on missions is enough to kill him. You know he can’t call you because of spotty service on missions but you still like to send him selfies and he’ll respond when he can with hearts. He isn’t really technologically advanced so that’s what you get but, you know he is smiling on the other end.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

You have a small cat, that he found, that absolutely LOVES him. He acts like he hates her but she always screams and runs towards him when he gets home. She will climb up his back and sit on his shoulders and rubs her head all over his ears, back of head, and face. You get mad at him everytime he swats her off so he just allows it now. Everytime he sits down she is right on his lap. You knew she loved you when he first brought her home after he found her on the side of the road but she loves him even more. Slowly you find him baby talking to her while he makes dinner and eventually he starts referring to her as yalls baby. He knows you would do anything for him, but you do EVERYTHING for this cat so mutual respect is formed.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He hates pop music. Hates high pitched noises. Hates strong smells. Hates getting rained on & having wet clothes. Hates when you do poppy clicky noises with your mouth. hates people who chew with their mouth open. Hates annoying people in general. But everything about you that previous partners have been annoyed about, he loves. (having to unlearn not to keep parts of yourself from him takes a long time.)

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

For the first couple of months he told you that you shouldn’t sleep with him because of his nightmares can get so bad that he can accidentally stab you. Well that that ain’t got shit on your insomnia so youre always half awake enough to get out of the way if he does start thrashing. Plus your king size bed is big enough to roll out of the way and not hit the floor.

After a while his restlessness slowly evaporates because he feels so safe around you that the nightmares begin to fade. You both learn that you both get a restful night if you’re cuddled in his arms. No half touches, full on koala on your back. he is big and heavy and it does get hot at night but he doesn’t care, he just pushes the covers off (it helps both of you don’t sleep with much clothes on anyway) and curls around you tighter. It took a while to get use to, but now you cannot sleep without it. His two week long mission returns are met with your dark circles under your eyes. You told him multiple times it’s okay because he is saving people but he can’t help but to feel bad.

  ❈

  

NSFW alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Jesus christ if you can get a chance for him to stop fucking you for 10 minutes he might partake in aftercare. His stamina is INSANE, he might get a little winded after 3 rounds and give you a break. but after he cums the first time, he is rock hard 5 minutes later. but afterwards you’re too tired to even care what happens but it’s usually met with lots of kisses, check in questions, and obviously cuddles. he is so physical touch driven so if he doesn’t say it, he’ll definitely show it.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes his hair so he keeps it a little longer so you can grip onto it while he eats you out or aggressively making out with you. and he has said multiple times in the beginning that you’re not pulling hard enough so you YANK on his hair which invokes a loud growl from him and starts driving his tongue deeper inside your cunt. that’s when you learn that soft touch’s aren’t doing it for him anymore.

His favorite part on you is your torso. whenever he can he will wrap his hands around your middle and pull you closer to him. your torso can be grabbed anytime he wants to move you or throw you around so his hands will always trace your sides with his fingers and hold you down.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Pls refer to my older nsfw post about this man but to recap this man is absolutely different in terms of his semen than any other man. the fluid production in one ejaculation is probably twice the amount of a normal person. AND it’s thick and potent. the amount of sperm cells are also doubled than a normal person. it’s more of the consistency of liquid glue but without the sticky factor. it sits heavy inside you after one round and you know he isn’t finished.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He has a AGGRESSIVE breeding kink. he loves to fill your cunt filled to brim with his cum, he presses on your slightly bulged lower tummy to watch the cum drool from your cunt. you both know that IUD isn’t going to hold up much longer so he keeps mentioning things like, “i hope our baby gets your eyes.” and “Do you think we would put them in soccer or baseball?” and you always laugh it off but you’re at the point in your relationship with him that whatever happens, happens.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Bitch, “is he experienced?” is an insult even to think about. Logan Howlett is two hundred fucking years old. and he is a WHORE. you have enough self respect that you don’t even ask what his body count is because you know it’ll be in the high double digits if not triple digits. he knows every person is different but he knows exactly when he hits the spot on his partner and runs with it. you’re no exception. usually your younger partners in the past had to be taught how to please you. he doesn’t, he watches you closely and hit all your buttons plus more the first time you slept together and continues to do it each time.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Oh he loves to watch you ride him. not because he gets the most sexual pleasure from it but because he loves to sit back and smoke his cigar and watch you struggle to keep moving. his cock is so big it pokes out your stomach below your belly button and he loves to rub his hand over it while thumbing your clit. also gravity moves your cervix lower inside you so his tip is nailing it everytime you take him completely. it hurts and he has bruised you a few times but it hurts so good and he loves to watch your thighs shake and hear your whimpers of “Lo please help.” “i can’t do it by myself!” and he just chuckles and deeply growls, “You got this baby girl, keep using me to please yourself.”

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

This man doesn’t fuck around (hehe get it.) no but seriously, he only gets humor from watching you grow more and more desperate for him. he will tease you for a while but once he is fully inside you something takes over him and he begins to get more feral. he bites, he growls, he scratches, and he sucks on your neck claiming you as his. No time for jokes.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He is fuzzy like a kitten and it doesn’t stop on top of his head. his chest, arms, thighs are all covered in black/brown hair. like his face, he keeps his pubic hair trimmed but not too tight. you have to watch when you give him kisses all over his body because you end up sputtering hair out. of course he likes to watch you struggle and pull spit covered hair out of your mouth after you suck him off.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

You both lost the niceties very quickly into your relationship. it’s immediate pouncing onto one another the moment you two are alone. he pulls your hair back from your aggressive make out session causing you to whimper stating, “You want daddy to fuck you now?” he says looking into your eyes. “p-please!” you cry back and immediately he starts ripping off your clothes.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

His sex drive is so fucking high it’s insane. when he is on missions night one he’s already got his cock in his hands thinking about you. if you’re in the same time zone he will send you pictures with the caption “Thinking about you ❤️”

Any other person would disgust you but he has you so whipped that your mouth waters everytime you get a new dick pic from him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Blood play, do you know how giddy this man gets when you’re on your period and he can eat you out. you found it extremely weird at first but seeing the tip of his nose, beard, lips and chin covered in blood when he pulls back to get some air and has that feral terrifying look in his eyes it sparks something inside you. he also likes to mark you with claws. you both know how sharp they are and your lack of healing factor can be fatal but that’s what makes it all the more fun. he is currently sketching his name into your thigh one slash at a time. waiting for that to heal and scar over till he moves on to the next letter. right now your thigh looks like:

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He will take you whenever and wherever he finds fit. you have told him numerous of times that if charles finds yall he’s kicking you both out but that doesn’t stop him. wherever anyone is out of eyesight he will pull you aside and beg for it. empty classroom? laundry room? theater room? he doesn’t care.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

The sight of any outfit on you that exposes more skin than usual. little mini skirts and crop tops are his weakness. when you bounce down the stairs into the kitchen for breakfast wearing a old band shirt you cut into crop top and some black denim shorts he almost drops the hot pan he’s holding. which scotty laughs at and he quickly whips his head to him saying, “shut it.” while slowly turning back to you gawking at your exposed tummy.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He doesn’t share. Wade will definitely have asked one night but that resulted in having to buy a new rug for the living room because of the amount of blood wade’s wounds dripped everywhere. he spent at least 10 minutes stabbing him everywhere before Wade said “OKAY, i tap out. i get it. she’s yours.” while you giggled on the couch nursing your third cosmo that wades heavy hand poured.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Logan’s favorite quote when you first got together was “I don’t eat your pussy for your pleasure, I do it for mine.” and shit does he live up to that. he’s so good at it and his tongue gets so deep inside you. his entire mouth latches onto your clit and sucks. you joke he goes blind when he eats you out because he absolutely makes out with your sopping pussy saying, “wrong lips asshole!” which results in him reaching over your torso and wrapping his hand around your throat and pinning you onto the bed while he continues to lick your entire pussy with a flat tongue. he uses both hands to thumb your folds wider so he can get deeper inside you while maintaining eye contact. he loves to kneel on the floor beside your bed and prop you up on pillows beforehand because your elbows usually give out. he loves to watch your face twist and scrunch and listen to your needy whimpers. he keeps conversation to a minimum but occasionally he will pull away with a spit string still attaching his bottom lip to your clit saying, “MY pussy always tastes so good for me. you’re MINE.” and goes right back to what he is doing making your head throw back in pleasure. he abruptly pulls back and smacks your ass, “Fucking watch me.” he says harshly. you snap your head up looking at him with wide eyes and he gently blows onto your swollen clit making a tear drip from your face in full pleasure alone.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

I don’t think this man believes in the term “slow” anymore. whatever he does in life he has to do it quickly. Sex is no exception unless he is purposely teasing you. After a particularly bad night where you two were non stop arguing you decided the only way to resolve it was some good old fashioned hatefucking. this lead to a trip to the OBGYN the next day because of the severe bruising on your cervix (i told you he was big.)

It started with some mild discomfort during sex then felt like something heavy landed on your stomach. you immediately yelped in pain which he surprisingly reacted quickly and concerned. “N-no more. Hurts.” you said through tears and sniffles. he immediately pulled out and started asking a bunch of questions and apologizing while wrapping his body around you hugging you tightly. he grabbed your shirt and your panties and helped you get dressed. he put on his gray sweatpants and crawled into bed beside you. you were curled up on your side facing away from him.

“Hey honey, talk to me. what’s going on?” he muttered softly into your ear, curling around your back. “I don’t know Logie, h-hurts.” he took a deep breath and shivered on the exhale. the thought of actually hurting you, hurt him. you knew that.

you rolled over, wincing in pain, to look him in the eyes. “I love you.” you mumble while making eye contact with his fearful eyes. he smiled and brought you into a big hug. “I-I love you so much baby. I don’t remember why we were fighting-g but i don’t care anymore. I wanna make sure you’re o-okay.” he sounded like he was going to cry.

“I’m ok baby! We’ll get it checked out tomorrow. I don’t remember why we were fighting either. I love you that’s all that matters.” you say against his bare chest.

he lets out a shaky sigh and chuckles a little before kissing the top of your head and relaxes his body off to sleep with you still wrapped tightly around him.

that’s when you both learned to take it easier.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

You hate quickies but most of the time it’s easiest way to calm this horn-dog down. sometimes in boring meetings he will come up behind you, wrap his arms around your middle and slowly rub his hard-on against your ass. that’s when you turn around and look over your shoulder and give him a look of “really?” and he looks down at you with a very serious look on his face and nods slowly. that’s when you both have to excuse yourself from the meeting in Xavier’s office to a nearby empty classroom.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

You think it’s a risk everytime he opens his mouth. straight dick-to-mouth thinking. he says the nastiest things that he doesn’t recall afterwards.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can cum 3 times without feeling tired. you’re suprised more often than not about how much cum his balls can actually hold. it feels like a huge load inside you each time and you joke it’ll start leaking from your nose if he’s not careful.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Oh no he doesn’t allow you to use toys. you’re a strong independent individual but this is his one rule. nothing else should give you as much pleasure as he does. you suggested a bullet vibrator clit one time but both of you agreed it isn’t as good as his thumb rubbing circles on your clit so he threw it out. he allows you to finger yourself when he is gone to take the edge off but your fingers are too small and doesn’t reach where you like it so it enviably leaves you more frustrated than before.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

If you could change one thing about Logan it would be his ability to tease you for so long. he brings you right on the brink of giving up and calling quits out of pure frustration alone before he slams his entire length into you. he knows how bad it pisses you off but he brings it out on occasions. he makes you cry most times about how bad you want him inside you and he loves to watch your makeup run down your face.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

If you were an outsider who didn’t know what was happening and started listening inside yalls bedroom you would think he was pretending to be a rabid bear. he growls, groans, huffs and moans when he is inside you inbetween his breathy voice asking “Does my baby girl love her cunt filled with daddy’s cock?” “you’re so fucking tight, shittt.” and “stop fucking squirming and take me.” he doesn’t try to be quiet either. like i said, when Logan fucks he turns into an animal. he only cares about you two.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Logan Howlett likes to be choked. you already think he loses brain function when he fucks well this makes it ten times worse. he stops talking and turns to soft grunts and his hips snap harder than before. it’s sometimes a trick you use when he is being too vocal and want him to just fuck you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He loves his tight black boxer briefs with some name brand across the top waist band. but if not, he’s commando, some days which you told him is weird but he just laughs you off stating, “easier access to you.”

Also he lovesss his stupid white tank top under his shirts. you call it stupid because jesus christ, every curve of his huge muscles on his abs and pecs are exacerbated by these tank tops. he has caught you drooling mid conversation when he casually walks around with it on.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Animal i tell you. he doesn’t give up. if he had it his way he could be straight fucking for 5 hours without a break. you’ve had to remind him a few times “Honey it hurts. i’m tired.” and weather he feels he’s got his fill or not will elicit a response like, “I’m sorry honey is daddy too much for you? Do you need a break?” or “Shut the fuck up. you’re going to appreciate whatever I give you and you WILL say thank you afterwards.” while snapping his hips harder into you. Most days the latter is preferred.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It takes him a while to actually settle afterwards. he needs to make sure you’re comfortable, not in any pain, cleaned up, and warm wrapped around him before he can settle and drift off to sleep.

[p0rk-guts]

HUSKER!!!! Husk. Whatever. THIS OLD CAT!!!! ^ - ^

comparison + breakdown ⬇️

Look idk what possible lore reasons there could be for Husk having bird wings and tail feathers whether it's hidden somewhere online or to be determined later in the show even though I can't for the life of me even guess why they're there (if you've got any hc's tho I'd love to hear em) but I just got rid of em entirely, at least for the time being. Declutters him a little. They're definitely a little much.

And I've always hated those buttons on his chest fur... Are they part of his pattern.... Are they hot glued on...... What is it with Viv and melting clothing and flesh together.........

He also does NOT look 60-70 like at all (pretty sure that's canon but I just got it off the wiki) so I tried to remedy that by giving him more wrinkles and creases. He's a Persian cat thing now bc some of them really do be lookin like mustache wearing old guys fr. Also his neck fluff is sorta supposed to allude to facial hair w/ some greying sprinkled in! He's officially like... 62 now. + He's fatter bc 1) beer belly 2) Persian cat build and 3) Vivzie twink fatigue

Husk's outfit is objectively silly for his grown ass to be wearing but I like the hc I've seen around as that being a stipulation in his deal with Alastor where he figuratively and literally "took the shirt off his back". Considering how as an overlord he had a nice suit and he (possibly. Definitely In headcanons) doesn't even like showing off sinner features, or his body at all, especially not in such a way. Is this canonically the case? Probably not. But hey 🤷🏾‍♀️

I made some comparatively minimal changes there. I undid his tie bc man's usually drunk and doesn't have the energy to fuss with it. I also gave the ends a bit of a spade shape. The clasps on his suspenders are meant to be clovers and there are still hearts on his hands. For the diamond face... I kinda tried to put it into his tail? But that's kinda iffy so 3.5/4 card faces achieved 👍🏾

Turned his top hat into a more flat wide brim hat that i could NOT for the life of me find a name for... Just wider fedoras I think? but they seemed to be kinda popular at the time. For my Husk, as an overlord he occasionally wore a fancy top hat when he was showing off, and now this is like. His downgrade replacement he's got to wear. + Some playing cards tucked into the hat band!

Made those yellows his primary colors bc in my rewrite greed is gold and I definitely think that would've been one of his major sins in life. Also a bit of gluttony too, which I made orange, so I added some of those tones in there. Allsoo after fussing with the colors for literal days I stilllll kindahateemalittle BUT IT'S FINE. I'll figure it out

And that's all for him!! Realized I forgot to put the little anti Viv banner on my last post but then again idgaf fr it's whatever. If you don't know I hate her you'll learn before long

And, of course, dvelopment sketches 4 sticking around!!!!

Ok that's all bye ✌🏾🧍🏾‍♀️

[kyojurismo]

★ — deliveries !

character : katsuki bakugo

summary : who knew the delivery man was such a cute guy who also happened to be interested in you?

tags : normal au, fem!reader, 2k words, aged-up characters, mention of toxic boyfriend, pining i guess? fluff, not proofread of course bc i’m a coward.

notes : hello !! i’m so happy i was able to write a one shot for this concept, i’m truly excited to share it w the public and i hope it is alright and that it makes sense ^_^ i love soft katsuki so yeah. have fun reading this piece and thank you as always for taking the time to stop & check my works out <3

special tag : @doumadono ♡

“please, just this once!” eijiro begged his friend. “go to hell,” katsuki sounded very decisive about it. his friend was trying to set him up with someone once again, failing of course. “plus, i’m busy with work,” he added in a gruff tone. he finished putting his jacket on and sighed, noticing it was time to go to work. “that’s just an excuse, you finish working around 9,” denki received a glare as an answer and that was enough to shut him up.

working as a delivery man was a pain in the ass sometimes, the majority of people he met were all shitty customers who always complained about him being late and stuff like that, but in reality, katsuki was very dedicated anyway and delivered everything with care, as quickly as possible.

that’s basically how he found himself standing outside your apartment door. he huffed when after his third time knocking no one was coming to open the door.

katsuki was able to hear a loud voice before the door finally opened. there was a boy standing in front of him, visibly annoyed.

“how much?” he spat, already opening his wallet. “hah, sorry man. i have to delivery this to…” katsuki then glanced down at the name on the post it, calling out your name. “fine. i’m not paying for any of this shit anyway. [y/n]!” he muttered before barking out your name, making bakugo cringe at his manners.

you rushed to the door, trying to fix the t-shirt you just finished putting on. your cheeks were warmer since you felt a hint of embarrassment because of your boyfriend’s behaviour.

“hi, sorry. how much is it?” you asked in a much gentle and softer tone, offering katsuki a smile. he found himself staring at your face for a couple of seconds more, admiring your features before he blushed and looked down, trying to hide his red face. “it’s uh, 10$,” he said, glancing at your hands moving to retrieve the money. “right… here!” you payed and took the small bag and pizza from his hands, his eyes unable to leave your face.

“um, enjoy your meal,” katsuki said then, nodding at you. “thank you so much,” you smiled at him sweetly before closing the door.

the fuck just happened?

─────────────────────

your sweet smile and your eyes never left bakugo’s head. he found himself still thinking about you, and a part of him hoped he would have the possibility to deliver you something else in the near future.

the rational part of him knew that you had a boyfriend — a shitty one, if he were honest, but the egoistic part of him hoped you would break up, he was a douche anyway, right?

that wasn’t the point anyway, as long as he was able to see you that would do. for now.

his inner desire to see you again was easily satisfied around two weeks later.

he cleared his throat and knocked on your door, a strange feeling of excitement filling his guts as he waited for you to open the door.

when you finally showed up, you were wearing a sweater and a pair of shorts. he gulped down and tried to focus on only your words, as if ignoring your face would be possible.

“oh um, you’re the guy from the last time… thank you for your quick service,” your words caused his heart to flutter while katsuki quietly stared at you. “10$,” he spat, before cringing in his mind. “okay…” you rummaged through your wallet and then payed, retrieving your food from his hands.

in that moment your soft skin touched that of katsuki, who felt as if electricity just travelled through his body. his mind going blank for a moment before he realised you were talking.

“s-sorry, what was that?” he definitely blushed now and you found it adorable. “i said thank you, bakugo-san,” you pointed at the small name tag attached to his jacket on the front, making him nod then. “no problem, enjoy your meal,” he said as he always does after delivering the food. his eyes lingered on your sweet face for a moment longer before he turned around to walk away, embarrassed enough.

you chuckled while closing the door, finding bakugo adorable for some reason.

─────────────────────

you saw bakugo again, and again, and again. you always tried to make small conversations, like speaking about how it was freezing outside and he was out there working anyway for example. but bakugo always kept his words short, probably because he was busy and didn’t have the time to stay outside your door to talk.

a part of bakugo wanted to push him to ask for your number or something, but another suggested that you were just kind because he was a delivery man, delivering the food you ordered — it was the least you could do, right?

on the other hand, you found him attractive and surprisingly he didn’t seem like a jerk. you recently broke up with your now ex boyfriend, convinced by your friends that he was too toxic and that it would only become harder and harder to get out of his grasp.

after a month of trying to avoid calling and getting your food delivered, as you tried to forget bakugo and focus on your life, you found yourself putting down the phone after placing a new order. you sighed and glanced at your friends sitting on your couch, chatting lively.

“you held back from calling because you were trying to avoid the delivery man?” momo glanced at you, more in a surprising way. mina was clearly judging you though. “no, it’s just that i tried to spend less on delivered food,” you casually shrugged, avoiding their eyes. “alright, but what if he’s still working there? like, would you say something more or just pay and say bye?” kyoka asked then, making your heart skip a beat.

“w-what?! of course i would simply do that,” you felt your cheeks warming up and momo chuckled, seeing through you. “you don’t have to feel bad about finding another man interesting, y’know? it’s not cheating or anything,” she said then, her voice was soft and soothing. “momo’s right! plus, no one said you have to marry this delivery man,” mina patted your shoulder in encouragement.

your friends were right, you shouldn’t feel bad.

“i wanna see him though, can i open the door?” kyoka begged, making everyone laugh. “of course you can’t,” momo said between laughters.

you were interrupted by the doorbell and you literally jumped on your feet, an anxious feeling growing in your chest. mina noticed and pushed your wallet into your hands before rushing you to open the door.

you took a deep breath and opened it, preparing yourself to meet bakugo’s face. your growing smile suddenly fell when you met a redhead boy standing outside your door.

“oh, hello! you’re [y/n], right?” he asked in a cheerful tone, smiling. “y-yeah,” you nodded, a bit taken aback.

did bakugo really stopped working there?

“alright, then these are yours!” kirishima smiled even more. “it’s 16$, miss,” he informed you and you nodded. you gave him the money and took the pizzas from his hands, thanking him with a smile. “enjoy your meal!” kirishima waved at you before turning to leave.

“uh, wait!” you called for him, biting your lips. “is um… bakugo-san still working there?” you found the courage to ask him, pushing the feeling of embarrassment aside. “oh, kacchan? yeah! but he caught a cold, so i offered to cover him at work. a common friend owns the place, so…” he explained with a genuine smile, as a sense of relief filled your chest, your heart beating fast. “right, i see. thank you,” you smiled at the redhead, he nodded and then waved at you.

your friends heard the whole conversation and started cheering you on, promising that you would be able to see him again very soon. they also convinced you to call again in a couple of days and hope you would see this bakugo guy again.

─────────────────────

you were sitting on the couch while fidgeting with your fingers, an anxious feeling growing in your belly as you waited for your dinner to arrive. well, more like for bakugo to arrive.

you felt stupid for a moment, you were a grown up not a teenager anymore. why were you acting like a middle schooler who has to meet her crush? that’s very, very stupid of you.

what if he doesn’t like you at all?

you jumped in your seat as you heard the doorbell and basically rushed to the door to open it, almost tripping over you feet.

there he was.

bakugo turned his head to look at you and noticed how nervous you were. “h-hello,” you gripped the doorknob tightly as you swiftly checked him out, before meeting his vermilion eyes. “is everything alright?” katsuki found himself asking, tilting his head to the side as to study you. “yeah, no. i mean, yes!” you covered your face with your hands, sighing deeply as you felt like your heart was about to jump out of your chest and run away to hide. you should be the one hiding somewhere in shame.

katsuki smirked and pulled his hat lower, trying to cover the growing blush on his face. he thought you looked cute, all flustered for some reason.

“so… the usual,” he said then, gulping down. he was here to deliver you a pizza after all, not to make conversations. “uhh,” you tapped your pockets for the wallet and a fresh sense of embarrassment filled you as you realised you forgotten the wallet in the kitchen. “w-wait, okay… i’ll be right back,” you glanced at his face and then turned around, running to the kitchen.

katsuki took a deep breath and bit his lip, trying to muster some courage to ask if you wanted to go out with him sometime.

you gripped the wallet in your hands and closed your eyes, praying to stop being clumsy and embarrassing and actually succeeding in asking him for his number. you then quickly went back to the door and cleared your throat.

katsuki watched closely your every action, as his heart started beating faster and faster as the moment to leave approached.

it’s now or never.

“listen, i think that–” “can we exchange ph–”

you two stopped talking and simply stared at each other for a couple of seconds before averting your eyes, your cheeks growing hot as katsuki’s whole face turned red. katsuki mentally kicked himself and then cleared his throat.

“what was it you were tryin’ to ask?” his eyes searched for yours, even though you were too busy staring at your feet. “i thought maybe… we can exchange uh, phone numbers?” you asked timidly as your fingers tortured your old wallet due to your nervousness.

bakugo fought himself from reaching for them and stop you and simply nodded, feeling a sense of relief. “yeah, sure,” he offered you his phone and watched you saving your own contact and send yourself a message.

“alright, here’s your dinner,” he said as he retrieved his phone with a hand and giving you the pizza with the other. you nodded and then handed him the money too.

“thank you as always for your service. please take care, it’s pretty windy outside,” you timidly said, holding his gaze for a couple of seconds before looking away again. bakugo blushed and cleared his throat before nodding. “ah, ri– thanks, enjoy your meal.”

you closed the door and pushed out all the air in your lungs, as you could finally relax. you walked over the kitchen before realising he was about to say something too, but you didn’t asked to continue too.

a notification from your phone caught your attention and you reached for it, opening the messages app.

how abt friday at 7 pm ?

you smiled as you looked down at the message, feeling a warm feeling filling your body. your fingers moved quickly over the screen to type out your reply to bakugo’s message.

sounds good !

[demonbarbers]

so high rn so sorry if this doesn’t make any sense i’m just so emotional about josh and annaleigh and this production so i’m gonna ramble a bit about what i love about it and them. ok. enjoy.

the thing about sweeney todd is that it’s mean. it’s a mean show. it ends on the cruel irony of 2 officers bursting in on toby slitting sweeney’s throat, surrounded by 2 other bodies and one in the oven; on johanna watching her father die holding her mother and not even knowing it. everyone is an abuser or abused, and there is no hope or redemption to be found. and it fucking rules! it just rules. it’s so fun to indulge in our basest pleasures for nearly 3 hours, delicately served to us by one of the greatest composers who’s ever lived.

and every major production takes the bile and cruelty inherent to the material and runs away with it. like- just look at this swedish production from 2006, directed by vernon mound. or the last time it was on broadway, directed by john doyle:

productions tend go smaller and nastier, more intimate, in keeping with the spirit of how sondheim originally conceived the piece. (side note: i LOVE when they do that. my ideal sweeney has buckets of blood and visera right in your face)

the original production of sweeney was MASSIVE, but that came from hal prince. hal couldn’t really get an emotional foothold on the material until he found within sweeney an extended metaphor for capitalism and the industrial revolution; people literally eating people and the machine of capitalism grinding everyone up. revivals also tend to seize on the brechtian class elements, like this absolutely gorgeous korean production from 2019 directed by eric schaeffer:

sondheim, meanwhile, always objected to readings of sweeney as brechtian- it was all a farce to him, just a good, nasty time at the theatre. he approached it as a horror fan who wanted to write some fucked up stuff, which is maybe now some of the best art is created. but hal made it into epic theatre.

(if u don’t know what epic theatre is or what brechtian means google will explain it better to u than my ridiculously stoned ass can rn but im just focusing on one aspect of it rn: the distancing effect. basically, emotionally distancing the audience from the characters and the material so that everyone is engaging with the work on an intellectual level as opposed to an emotional one)

obc sweeney is an alienating show. it’s so fun and brutal and deeply felt, but these characters are grotesque. they’re cartoonish in their cruelty. just look at their makeup! john doyle also embraces the distancing effect; his revival is actor-muso, so we’re pretty aware at all times we’re watching a show. it’s all so cold, and the only warmth to be found is in the humor. and it rules. it’s nasty. i love it. this is the show i fell in love with.

all these things have become inherent to sweeney over time, all teased out of the greatest broadway show to ever exist; visceral horror, cruelty, coldness, and class commentary.

but this revival is just.. it’s warm! it’s lush! it’s romantic! and i don’t mean that in the sense of lovett and sweeney (tho this is the warmest they’ve ever been towards each other in any major production i’ve seen). i mean that it gestures at and plays with romanticism.

my biggest critique of this production is, in doing away with the brechtian elements (sondheim just cheered), it also does away with overt class commentary. it’s all still there in the text- turpin is a corrupt judge, beadle is effectively a sheriff, sweeney and lovett are working class, the beggar woman is homeless- but as a director tommy kail seems… uninterested in any biting political commentary, to put it generously lmfao. and i hate so much how little of it there is to be found in this revival, bc you can still Do It without invoking brecht. but i’ve long made my peace with that. i wanna talk about what i love.

and what i really love and what kept me returning to it (beyond the fact that it’s sondheim, and it’s sweeney, and josh groban is so stupid fucking hot) is how human everyone is. the entire production, from the ground up, is built around taking these characters and their pain seriously.

the ensemble all have incredibly period accurate costumes, unique to each character they’ve crafted (fun fact even the swings have their own unique costume that’s only seen when they perform). gone is toby as a mentally disabled man child with an oedipal fixation on lovett. in gaten’s hands he’s a young teenager, aging out of being a cute urchin and just looking for a mother. in daniel’s hands he’s beaten down young man with a limp and a genuine love for lovett.

ruthie’s beggar woman has developed DID after a brutal rape and the trauma of institutionalization and homelessness. she’s not played for laughs, even if sometimes the audience chuckles, and she makes u feel guilty if you ever did laugh at her situation. daniel yearwood leans so far into anthony as a sweet guy completely unaware of the story he’s actually in to the point of comedy. maria is just a revelation as johanna, all nerve and tension and bloody nails from years of self-harm. it’s easy to lean into johanna as a princess track, but ~crazy~. and maria plays jo as mentally ill and traumatized from years of incesteous abuse, but it’s not a pastiche or a praody of it. jo feels human in a way i’ve never seen her depicted before. i love it. maria bilbao u have my heart forever for this.

and then josh and annaleigh…. ugh!!! annaleigh really captures the avarice at the heart of lovett, but still brings in enough genuine moments of humanity and compassion that you find yourself (like sweeney and toby) endeared to her. lovett is always cruel and can only love through manipulation, but annaleigh’s lovett is a woman who makes small concessions. bit by bit, piece by piece, she erodes whatever goodness she had inside her until nothing but her desire for sweeney is left. she’s a woman who’s used seduction to get her way, and it’s easy to envision that when lucy returned from turpin’s, she shamed her for “giving it away” without getting benjamin back. she’s a monster! and yet, when she dreams of a better life, you feel it. when she holds toby in her arms and cried at her perfect little life unraveling, you feel it. annaleigh makes you laugh so hard she gets under your skin and stays there, exactly how lovett seduces sweeney in ALP. and there it is- identification! the complete opposite of alienation. we’re in it with them.

and then there’s josh and his sweeney… i really feel like his sweeney is undervalued. annaleigh steals the show. she won the drama desk for a reason. it’s a legendary performance. but josh…. man. i just. i keep returning to josh’s open wound of a sweeney over and over again. i think he’s probably had this take bouncing around in his head for years. they smartly leaned away from sweeney as this embodiment of rage and physical menace, which surprised a lot of people. but instead leaned into sweeney’s grief in a way i haven’t seen any major production do. josh’s sweeney feels like a man who was put on this earth to be a father and a husband. there’s a buried sweetness to him and you can still see benjamin barker in him until the very end. i keep calling him “kendall roy sweeney” bc it’s the closest way i can covey to other ppl what josh is doing here. he’s all big sad eyes and suicidal ideation, tragedy and twitchy hands. he’s so deeply pathetic he just endears himself to you. i want sweeney to succeed more than ever before. even though he spends all of act 2 killing people and being a shit father and thus killing benjamin barker, i still find myself wanting him and lovett to get away with it. and when the reveal comes, and even worse the betrayal hits- that this woman who he let into his life and body and who, in some odd way, became a friend, lied to him this entire time- it hits like never before for me.

i just love it all so much. i’m so happy it exists, so happy this revival does something so new! sondheim has said sweeney todd is a show about obsession, and it is. this revival supposes: what is the difference between love and obsession? what if the two look the same?

i think often of this quote from luca guadagnino’s suspiria (a masterpiece btw): “Love and manipulation, they share houses very often. They are frequent bedfellows.”

to me, that’s this revival in a nutshell- the thin line between love and obsession, and all the blood spilled in between.

[hyunin]

hiiii everyone, this blog hit 1k followers the other day 🥹 tysm to anyone that has followed me here over the years! i'm sure at least a third of my followers are dead blogs from my suju (🤮) era in 2013 before i returned to gifmaking tumblr in 2020, but so many of you joined me once i returned and i'm so thankful for everyone that has reblogged my content and chatted with me and followed me up until this point! 🫶 i wanted to write some fun lil messages for my mutuals and pals below the cut, as well as shout out some people i don't necessarily speak to but like having on my dash also 💗 if u aren't mentioned on here and we're mutuals that doesn't mean i dislike u it just means i'm stupid and missed you 😭 before i get into the messages i also want to ask anyone who can to consider commissioning me for a gifset or writing by donating at least €10 to this fundraiser and sending me a screenshot of your donation! more info on that via this post. thank u so much again everyone!!! 🥳 (edit: i don't think half the mentions in this post are working so please check to see if you were mentioned even if you weren't notified!)

@redvelvetcult hi ele 🫶 i know we don't speak as often anymore but i'm always so happy to see u around and i love you <3 thank u for running yangjeongin with me even if it has been in spirit for 99% of its run LKJSDLFKJSJLKFD still wouldn't be the same without u @bataranqs hi kid! this is going to sound so lame but it's been rly fun watching u grow up over the years through awoo9, every time u use our weird ass humor it's so much funnier coming from u. thank u for hyping up everything we all do, especially my writing!! i really appreciate it and u @anyujins iwin...whew....LLKSJDKLFJLSKF i'm rly happy that we're a lot closer now than when we were last time i made one of these posts. i think we are anyway?? i forgor...but either way ilysm, thank u for your support when i've been going insane over the years and it would appear both of the stories of our love lives that we've been following for so long will have a tragic ending. LJKSDFJLKSLK but i hope we can be friends for many more moments of insanity to come and that we have more good news than bad news to share w each other soon. in the meantime it's always rly fun to talk to u and i am glad i have u in my life @miyawaki ver. i appreciate u v much if only bc u are a major provider of quality shitposts on my dash, u also being into kpop and giffing is a bonus. u are also so funny even if u are also MEAN!!!! it's funny most of the time. and u have also supported me a lot in ur own ver way over the years, and i can always count on u to give me feedback on giffing and such. i'm so happy for u that u are going to uni again and i hope u have so much fun but also don't forget about us 🔫 🫶 @seulggi gfx queen minya! u deserve a shoutout if ONLY bc u are carrying the gfx side of kpop tumblr on ur back fr. and i love seeing what u make on my dash. but u are also an awoo9er so i will give u a long AWOOOOOOOOO of appreciation ❣️ @meongppangz RI omg idk what account is best to tag u on so i tag u here. i rmr the last one of these i made i was like 'hope to talk more under better circumstances' and now we talk nearly every day LJSDFLKSDF i love that for us. thank u crazy person gc for bringing us together fr....love that we can bond over loving ggs and also hating collecting pcs and any other random shit of the day skz is doing. and giffing ofc. talking to u always makes me happy so i hope we continue talking and being friends for a long time to come 🫶 ily. also i'm going through my follow list for this in order of oldest blogs first and i just discovered y'all were one of the first skz blogs i followed. how cute @curiosityjams hi drea, we haven't spoken ages but i wanted to shout u out individually as well because i still enjoy seeing u on my dash and i still consider us friends 🫶 fellow eunbi stan...i will never forget waiting for the 2020 election results w you LMAO abt to do it all again soon...but i hope you're well and hope good things continue coming to u 🙇‍♀️ @hyunjinz agnes, backbone of stayblr that u are, i love u!! i know we don't Personally speak much at all i still feel like u are a dear friend of mine. you were one of the first ppl to support my skz content and i think you're that for a lot of people on stayblr and i think that is so sweet of u and also important for the community. u are so brave for going through the tags all the time and reblogging everything i do not have that kind of energy but i'm so glad u do!! i miss ur gifs but i'm happy that you're still around even when you don't gif. we're some of the last remaining pre-kingdom era skz ccs left 😱 so i will always appreciate ur company here <3 @innielove hi vi, i just want to say i love that u are giffing skz again. i've probably missed a lot of ur sets bc i'm bad at checking tags and dash but when i DO see them i'm like omg vi's gifs r really looking better than ever. thank u for returning to us 🫶 u have also actually been on stayblr for a long time so i'm always happy to see some of the oldies (can u believe we are oldies now...) back on the dash 😌

@kazuhas MS KALE it always makes me happy to see u on my dash here. ur gifs are so lovely and so are u!! i know we mainly know each other from off cc tumblr 🫣 but i wanted to give u a shoutout among all of my other tumblr beloveds bc ily. it's what u deserve @seo-changbinnies marie...another fellow stayblr hag at this point...u are still one of the funniest people on this site i swear. and i'm so glad u are still here and making gifs and blessing us w your funny tags. i hope u always stay just as insane, i love u for that <3 @seungs HI MIAAA we don't talk that much anymore but i wanted u to know that i still always love seeing u and your gifs on my dash 🫶 @felixies luna, legend of stayblr that u are 🙇‍♀️ i think ur work largely goes unappreciated by the fandom but u are an icon for keeping createskz running for all these years despite everything going on in ur life. tysm for your service 🫡 @huiracha marie huiracha...this is how i refer to u in my head btw. like 'huiracha' is ur last name. LKJSDFKLSKLD we have barely spoken but i want to give u your own shoutout just for surviving and continuing to gif on stayblr as long as u have. veterans' discount fr @hyunsung hi mona 🫶 we haven't spoken in a while either omg but i am still always excited to see u on my dash when u gif something or reblog something from me i'm like omg that's my friend mona :D SDKJFSJKLDF so thank u and i hope you're doing well 🙏 @hyunpic VILMA HYUNPIC...u know i am so glad we are better pals now. u are so funny and fun to talk to but also the sweetest ever!! thank u for always listening to me and being kind to me and also making me laugh. every time i feel like an rper named their hyunjin character something dumb i am glad i get to report it to u. some things only u will understand and appreciate. LKJSDKLJFSKLJFKLFD @sungtaro eri <3 we don't talk much anymore and maybe we NEVER HAVE??? but i have always felt like u are a dear friend and beloved mutual. i love seeing u on dash even if we don't have too many groups in common anymore. ur content is always lovely and so are u so we will always be pals as far as i am concerned 🫶 @exocean hi mo!! i must admit i don't have much to say but i wanted to mention you individually because you are so sweet and i love seeing u around and u deserve to know it <3 @hyumjim i don't even know what to say (positive) u know i am so glad ur squirmy wormy tag on one of my hyunjin sets brought us together. idr if we have ever properly spoken like via dm but bc u follow me on all my accounts i feel Seen by u....nd u haven't unfollowed me yet so god bless u. i always enjoy seeing ur thoughts and the posts u put on my dash whether they be a funny text post or someone's hot take getting dismantled or something Thought Provoking. my dash is definitely a better place because of u so thank uu 🫶

@wolfchans lau the Actual backbone of stayblr tysm for ur service fr. without u providing files for us i genuinely believe most of stayblr would be lost. not only do u do that but u are also genuinely very kind and make great content so i appreciate u so much!! thank u for making stayblr (and my dash) a better place @hyunebear hi adri i gotta admit i didn't even realize u were back on tumblr until i was going through my following and saw that u posted recently akljsdflkjdsf goes to show how much i'm on my dash...but i wanted to mention you individually even though it's been so long because you have genuinely touched my heart a lot and i will never forget ur compliments 🙏 ok maybe i did forget some of them word for word. but i will never forget how sweet u were to me. how about that. so thank you and i hope to see u around more!! i probably have to be on my dash more for that tho huh... @romanceuntold hi jen 🫶 i miss u on stayblr i'm ngl but i'm also still glad to see u on my dash through all your phases. you are such a warm and kind person and another person who i will never forget being so sweet to me. thank you and i hope you're doing well ❣️ @wearehappiness sidrah <3 the fact that we were both on stayblr but met properly on pc ig first is still so silly to me. me intending to wait on ur mail to get to me then being like 'stayblr perk i'll send ur mail rn' after i found out u were here LKJSDLKFLJKSF but you are suuuuch a sweet person who makes lovely gifs too. i miss ur gifs also!! and just you in general. wishing u the best in life always 💗 @mybodyfails hi oli 🫶 another person who has been soooo sweet to me, i'm so glad i got to help w leeknoween and i still have all the freebies u sent me from it preserved safely in my freebie photocard binder 😌 you are always lovely to talk to whenever we do, and thank u for reading my fic too despite zombies not being ur thing i appreciate u!! @strayklds / @facethesuns em i just think it's so funny that we like didn't speak before i invited u to the gif streaming server and i just did that on a whim bc u passed the vibe check and now i feel like we are good friends. despite still rarely speaking KSLDFLSDLKF but i love that for us and love ur gifs and seeing u around always 💞 @neohyune hi fae <3 i know us speaking is like a very recent development but i also wanted to mention u individually to thank u for your help 🙏 i need to write more of my fic tbh...but i Will be checking our conversation again for Notes. you also seem like a very sweet person so i would love to talk to u more in the future also 💕 @linoyes another very recent friendship (yes i am calling it that already) in my life, but thank u for your generosity, let's meet that fundraising goal together 💪 i hope we're also able to talk more outside of this context too. i just have a feeling i will have a lot more to say about u once i make another one of these!!

i'm ngl i don't know how many of you actually follow me here and i don't have time to check everyone's username individually so i'm just going to list a bunch of blogs i follow who may or may not follow me JKLSDFLKSDF but y'all make my dash a better place, thank u for all u do! 🫶 feel free to talk to me anytime too

@dazzlingkai @theseulgis @joytual @anyujin @cchuu @cherry-heartss @boynextdoors @hyunchans @ambivartence @minzbins @everglowz @chogiwow @ttathinker @minhosblr @minho-knows @yang-innie @leegahyun @bu99erfly

[tom-whore-dleston]

(moodboard or fic or whatever you’re feeling up to bby)

i crave seeing this man be put in situations you wouldn’t automatically think to put him in, so give me frat boy!adam warlock who only joined because his parents made him, ya know legacy and all that + the philosophy student who is the opposite of someone you’d ever see at a frat but gets roped into helping him pass a class!

Creations: select a hottie + scenario/AU/trope/prompt** and I will a playlist/moodboard/fic (please specify the creation you are requesting)

join the celebration!

hjasfghjkdhga now hold on bc fratboy!Adam sounds so hot I'd drop the last bit of my morals for 24 hours with him 😩 I have a million headcanons running thru my mind rn so we'll start off with some light appetizers 😜 sorry this took a million years to write and that its so frickin long 😭

First and foremost, Adam wears crop tops and short shorts unironically and he fuckin ROCKS them! All the other frat boys don't look as good as him

He also wears gold chains bc why tf not

His parents met in the partnering fraternity and sorority that did charities and events. They then got married and had Adam straight out of college. Since the birth of Adam, his parents had it set in stone that he would work hard to attend the same university and join the same fraternity as his father.

As an underclassman, Adam genuinely enjoyed the frat life. His parents were proud of him. He was dating Gamora, the most popular girl in the sorority and of course another legacy. He was basically set to become president of the fraternity by his senior year.

At the beginning of his junior year, his whole world flipped upside down. His father died suddenly, and Ayesha was having a hard time grieving. On top of that, Gamora left Adam for Peter Quill, current president and Adam's arch nemesis.

All this caused Adam's straight A's turn to straight D's. With Quill as president, he threatened to kick Adam out the fraternity if he didn't bring his grades up.

And this is where you come in.

You are the top student in yours and Adam's philosophy class. It kinda helps that you are a philosophy major and always leading discussions during lectures. All your classmates were annoyed of you talking the professor's ears off, except for Adam. Without anyone's knowledge, he would jot down your talking points in case they would be useful in the future.

After the second exam of the semester, he finally approaches you after class, asking you to tutor him. Without hesitation, you agree, mainly because you have always seen him in your classes and found him attractive.

During your study sessions, you both got to know one another, realizing you have more in common with each other than Adam did with Gamora. He eventually confesses to you that he didn't care all that much about the frat life and he willingly agreed to rush because of his parents. You reveal to him that your parents practically disowned you after going to a college away from home and majoring in anything outside of law or medicine. You and Adam almost shared a kiss that night. That was until your best friend and Gamora's step sister, Nebula, came home from work.

Adam invites you to one of his frat parties where you're stuck to his hip the whole time. A drunk Quill encounters Adam, constantly harassing you throughout the night. Fed up with Quill's antics, Adam and you finally leave.

That was until Quill said, "Once you get tired of Adam's dumbass, you know where to find me. It won't be the first time a girl realized I'm ten times the man Adam Warlock will ever be."

Adam was ready to beat his ass, but you pushed him to the side, strutting towards Quill and back-handed slapped him across the face, sending him to the floor. You stoop down to Quill's level, muttering through gritted teeth, "You're right. Adam will never be you because he isn't some scumbag like you." Then, you took someone's cup of beer and poured it all over Quill before leaving with Adam.

As Adam was dropping you off at your apartment, he pulled you into a heated kiss and thanked you for standing up for him. When you shut the door behind you, you did a happy dance which Nebula caught you in the middle of. This, then led to you both staying up the rest of the night to spill the details of the party until you and Adam kissed.

Next week in class, Adam surprised you with your usual coffee order from the cafe on campus. On the coffee cup, there was a message that wrote:

"Dinner and movie at 7? I could use a study break :)"

Your face was warm from smiling so hard. You couldn't wait to finally go on a real date with Adam and neither could he.

Adam showed up to your apartment with a bouquet of flowers. You had to do a double take because it was the first time you haven't seen Adam wearing shorts and a crop top. He wore a buttoned shirt with jeans and his hair was neatly combed back.

"What happened? Did you run out of shirts that show off your abs?" You joked, leading to Adam picking you up and spinning you in the air before kissing you sweetly.

"Gotta look nice for my girl, you know."

You raise an eyebrow, taking the bouquet from him. "Your girl?" You curled your lips inward to hide the goofy smile on your face.

"Is it okay if I call you that?"

"Only if it's okay for me to call you my boy."

The date proceeds and it consists of a lot of hand holding, kissing, and you laying your head on Adam's shoulder. At the end of the date, it was obvious neither of you wanted it to end. While making out in his car, Adam reached for the bottom of your shirt, trying to pull it over your head until you stopped him.

Adam's face was full of concern. "I'm sorry, I should have asked if you were okay with this. I don't want you to think-"

You interrupted him by pressing your lips to his. "Don't worry, Adam. You didn't do anything wrong." You looked over at the window of your apartment, realizing no light came from inside. "Do you want to come inside? Nebula is most likely out for the rest of the night."

With that, Adam followed you into your apartment. You two barely made it into the bedroom before your hands and lips were all over one another. You fucked on the sofa before moving to the bedroom to cuddle.

As you were dozing off, Adam whispered, "I think I'm gonna quit the frat."

Now you were wide awake. "Why? I thought you loved it."

"For a while I did. I felt like I had to care for my parents. Now that we are halfway through junior year, none of that matters anymore." Adam paused to move your hair out of your face. "Besides, I'm thinking about applying to work at the cafe. My girl deserves all the free coffee I can make her for the rest of our college years."

"You are the sweetest." You kissed Adam on his forehead. "Whatever you want to do, I'll support you along the way."

[deluluzai]

Oh shit I completely forgot about the PM exchange thing.. anyway so here are my thoughts???!

Ok so first of all, we can be delulu yknow?? Everything will be resolved somehow and no one is going to the PM! Everyone is happy. I mean doesn't Asagiri always pull the least expected thing??

Second of all: no one is happy let's break it down member by member

Yosano: she ain't going.

Kenji: ok yknow what? I think the PM could benefit from his powers, and innocent personality! But aside from that, Kenji isn't really focused on, so the chance of this might be low, but still, reasonable.

Tanizaki: OKAY I saw someone else say this and I AGREE! Ofc it's the same thing with Kenji, it would be random asf for him to be the big sacrifice but! Tanizaki managed to trick the PM a few times with his ability! So this would make a lot of sense! I think the chance of this is higher honestly.

Kyouka: Ufff, guys idk... I mean she was in the PM not too long ago and she's focused on a good amount... This would make sense, knowing that Atsushi can't just steal her away anymore but... for a loooot of time, in the beginning of BSD, it was a whole back and forth thing with Kyouka getting to the PM, then escaping, then getting back, then escaping. So not only would the series fall back to that again, the PM might've just given up. Still, I feel like this has a 50/50 chance of happening, depending which way Asagiri wants to go.

Kunikida: As much as I don't want it happening, it might just happen.. I can't really say much about this one. Kunikida is smart, organised and loyal to the ADA and would die for them. But then again, he wouldn't stray away from his ideals and go off killing people and torturing them. I don't think this has a high chance of happening, I mean there's still a reasonable chance, but, it would be hard to work with him yk?

Atsushi: honestly, aint no way. I mean yes, the first major thing in the series was about the PM trying to catch Atsushi for money! But then again the relationship with the PM (mainly Aku) changed drastically for him! The guild isn't offering money to the PM for atsushi anymore, and Aku and Atsushi work together anyway! And mainly since he's the main character, I don't think he's going to have his POVs in the PM, since I think the ADA is going to get more focused on, and his relationship with Aku. NOT TO MENTION the fact that Dazai would DEFINITELY get him out of there bc??? His mentor?? Going down on the same path as him? Also as Aku? Killing people and basically becoming the person he promised Oda not to be anymore?? Aint no way.

Ranpo: Yeah... i could see it. But then again I don't. Because yeah it's reasonable for the PM to choose him, and since Ranpo is being focused on a lot currently, and it would really impact his story - Ranpo is then again a smart-ass brat who wouldn't even use his "ability" in the PM, especially since it's more helpful for detective work and not mafia work. So I have no clue about this one honestly, It would be interesting character arc but how would that like... work?

And lastly..

Dazai: Ah god, I wrote him last bc I don't know what to say! I mean most people I've seen guessed it was him going. And honestly? Fucking reasonable! Like why WOULDNT Mori pick Dazai? Like yeaaah he's scared of him, but throughout the series he asked Dazai a lot of times if he would come back! It would make a lot of sense! Especially since Dazai became older and wiser. Honestly the only big thing that's holding be back from actually betting on Dazai is that... would asagiri really put him back there? Right now? I mean, look, guy was in jail this entire time, barely goes back to the agency and boom, back to the PM. I think Dazai is going to be again crucial for this new arc, especially in Atsushi's character! I think, writing wise, Dazai shouldn't go back. But then again it's the most logical thing! I have so many thoughts about this.

Or then again Asagiri could just pull the most craziest shit that none of us were expecting so-

[valscodblog]

-ˏˋ♥̩͙♥̩̩̥͙♥̩̥̩ ⑅ 𝕯𝖎𝖆 𝖉𝖊 𝕸𝖚𝖊𝖗𝖙𝖔𝖘 ⑅ ♥̩̥̩♥̩̩̥͙♥̩͙ˊˎ

Alejandro x OC

Warnings: Vulgar language, mentions of sexual themes (no smut but like...talks of having sex-), major mentions of death bc this Holiday revolves around death, descriptions of a character's death, i headcannon that Alejandro had a little sister who died to terroriest and that's why he joined the special forces.

SOOOO IT'S NOVEMBER BITCHESSS AND I'M MEXICAN SOOO!!! I'm writing about day of the dead and what MY family usually does for it. So...welcome to my family's herritage!

also, disclaimer: I always fall asleep when the fucking holiday starts bc i stay up until 3 am backing con mis tias-so i just wrote sum random during the ending-

Tags: @needa-sum-luvn @thebunnednun @writing-with-moss @seconds-on-the-clock @staytrueblue @karlachismylife @tendermanismybaby @devil-in-hiding (if you want tagged just let me know in the comments!)

Dia de Muertos...Day of the Dead. The one and only day Maria truly looked forward to. She always went all out for it-because she has lost so many loved ones it felt wrong not to. Una fiesta, Una Ofrenda...todo. She loved it all...and her love for the holiday only got bigger when she married Alejandro. Who, of course having lost many people he loved as well, asked if they should get a bigger ofrenda-to which she said yes. In short, let's just say...it took up a whole small room in the house.

"Maria-Mi Amor...we have a lot of familia, no?" Alejandro said, his arm wrapped around Maria's back. She laughed and shrugged. "Ohh, Si...but I like a big family! As long as, you know...they like me too-" "Mi mama loves you, don't worry, she's just old and well, a little judgy." "Aww, it's okay, Alejandro. I love your mother, she's sweet, really," Maria said, loosing herself of his grip and saying, "well, if we're going to take food to your Papa y Mi hermanito, I have to get ready-you too." Always and forever the early bird, this one, Alejandro thought smiling. He nodded. "Claro que si, mi alma. Go on, get ready. I'll be in in just a second." He stood, facing the Ofrenda, and soft smile on his face. "...Mi hermanita would've loved her," he mumbled gently. They even shared a name, his sister and her. Marita and Maria...ha. Funny, He thought ad he walked out of the room.

He walked into the bathroom and saw Maria doing her makeup-Skelton style in honor of the holiday. He smiled and asked, "think you could help me do mine, Mi Vida? I'm no very good at the art stuff." Maria didn't reply, but she did tap her foot twice. An old habit she used when she couldn't talk. Meant yes. So Alejandro decied to do his hair in the mean time, throughly brushing it since they were hosting a huge ass party later that night and Maria would've given him la chancla for not brushing it. He split it on the side and smoothed it.

Maria made the last night on her face and nodded. Her hair was n't going to be up tonight. Oh no, it would be down. She took the brush from where Alejandro had laid it down and ran it through her hair. "Just let me brush my hair and I'll do your face paint, Amor." "Claro. No rush." Maria looked at her husband and blinked. "No rush? I have to get cooking soon, and you said you wanted to visit the graves before we started!" and this is what made Alejandro scared of his wife-unlike most women, Maria could argue whilst doing things and not lose track of her thoughts or actions. No, she'd be performing whatever task perfectly in even more so Spanish.

Alejandro put his hands up an surrender. "Okay okay, yo-" KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK! "...Alejandro Juan Pablo Vargas-" "No, I didn't invit anyone earlier than you said to! I don't know who's at the door." "well go answer it, you idioto!" "ayy, okay! I'm going, dios mio!" Maria sighed heavily as Alejandro walked off. He answered the door and Rudy was there, smiling as he stood in a full mariachi outfit. Alejandro blinked. and then blinked again. Y otra ves. "...Rudy? Que paso?" "Nada-just thought I'd drop by to see how you two were doing." Alejandro sighed and whispered, "She's a little...stressed, you could say-" "ALEJANDRO! WHO'S AT THE DOOR?" and both men jumped.

"Rodolfo!" he called, back, yaking Rudy inside of his house. "Save me, por favor." "...I...Don't think i can save you from tu esposa, Amigo. You married her-said your vows before God and everything." Alejandro sighed and rested his forehead against Rudy's shoulder. "Yo seeeeeee." he groaned, before getting back up. Maria came out with the face paint and said, "Just as I thought. Both of you don't have face paint. C'ere-ahora!" Rudy listened and walked over. "Pretty makeup, Mari." "Aww, grasias, Rudy." and she sat him down on the couch as she readied the paints.

Alejandro sat down next to Rudy and Maria started on his first. "Prolly would've helped if you shaved first, Amor..." Alejandro put and eyebrow up. "Ey? I thought you liked my stubble?" "I do, I do, it's just in the way of the paint. It doesn't look as smooth as mine...ay, oh well. All the ladies don't need to see you looking good anyways because your married." and Rudy laughed, so Alejandro. Maria gave the pair a smile and continued to paint her husband's face. "...hmm, do you want it plain or sugar skull?" "...whatever you think, Mi Luz."

and so Maria started painted little colorful swirls and dots on his face. Once she was done she did the same to Rudy-matching with Alejandro because he requested it. "You know every skull is different, right?" "Yo se-but Alejandro's looks good. Muy beuno."

Once they were all done, Maria quickly cleaned up and ran into the bedroom to throw on the first dress that came to mind. A simple yet elegant black dress with red, light yellow, and gold marigolds. She then added some skull earrings and elbow long black gloves. She chose a traditional hat with a black veil and, with this addition walked out of her room. Once back in the living room, Alejandro nearly choked on his own spit.

"...Maria...Maria, que-que es esto?" He asked softly, rnning his hands up and down her arms lovingly. She smiled, knowing how he meant the question, and said, "What I'm going to wear." It hugged Every. Single. Curve. The dress did, and it left Alejandro drooling like a mutt. "Mi-Mi Amor, por favor...how come you didn't wear this to our wedding!?" He blurted, and Maria laughed, "Ayy, Ale! I'm not going to wear black to a wedding! Plus-the theme was White and Blue! Our favorites." "Well, Cariño...I dunno whadda say, you look stunning."

Maria giggled, "Ay, Alejo. Such a way with words you have...no wonder why I love you, hm?" and, out of now where it seemed, Alejandro tired to kiss her. He always asked but jeez-this time he didn't. "The makeup, pendejo!" "Ayy, to hell with that! My wife looks like a fucking snack I could devour in one whole bite!" "Mi Amor-Rudy's right there!" "So? He's heard me say worse-" "Alejandro Vargas!" Maria laughed as she pushed her husband away, re relented and sighed. "Fine-I'll wait until we're alone in the shower. Then I'll fuck you-" "VARGAS!" "Hmm? Mi Amortia, Senorita Vargas?" "Cállate!"

Maria laid down three conchas and two cups of flan. Her brother's favorites. She smiled and said, "Hola, Gordito..." Alejandro snorted. "You called him that?" "Alejandro he weighed eight pounds when he was born. Everyone called him that." "...Explains." Maria smiled and whispered, "He also used to sneak food at random times over at our father's. He was the favorite there." and Alejandro laughed. "Oy-Alejandro. Donde esta su hermanita?" "Ahh...Marita is...aqui." He pointed a couple of rows up and Maria's vision landed in a small little headstone with the name "Marita "Sol" Vargas." Maria smiled gently and asked, "Older or younger?" "Younger..." "Mhh..." They stood in silence for awhile before Alejandro rubbed Maria on the back and said, "Don't we have to get cooking?" "Oh shit-your right!" and then they walked to Alejandro's little sister. Well...her grave, more like. He laid down two chicken legs and a three pieces of 'pan de muerto.'

"Hola, Mi Solita...Como estas?" he murmured gently as he did so, Maria smiled. "Cute name for her...was she bright?" "Ooh, Si. Smart too. Very smart...I miss her." "...beuno, you know she's not gone right?" "Yo se, Mi Vida. She's in our hearts...and will still be here after we're gone if we past down her story to our kids, si?" Maria nodded and rubbed Alexandro's shoulders. "That's right...yeah...You wanna stay here for a little while longer?" Alejandro nodded. "Yeah...I do...you can-" "Me too." And Alejandro relaxed and wrapped his arm around his wife's torso.

"AYYYY, MARIA!" Sandrea squeeled as she threw her arms around Maria, Maria hugged her back and grinned. "It's been so long Rea!" "Ayy no, pero Si!" and both ladies laughed. "Maria, como estas?" Alejandro's father asked, Maria nodded and let the older man take her hand and kiss it's knuckles. "Muy bien, grasias, Senor Vargas." Hector nonded and Alejandro's mother glared at her husband. It wasn't a secret she didn't really appreciate how he acted with other women. Alejandro quickly walked over and said, "Ma! Hola!" And put his arms around Maria's waist. No secret that Alejandro didn't like his father either.

"Ayy, Mijo! Bien, muy Bien! Feliz día de muertos!" She said, smiling fondly up at her son. He smiled back and let go fo his wife to hug his mother. His father sized him up and huffed. "Eres grande nino, ¿no?" Alejandro rolled his eyes. "No, Papa. Soy Chiquito." His father scoffed. "Hpph, okey!" and walked away as if he owned the place. Maria could see Alejandro fuming and quickly said, "Uhm...Senora Vargas? Quedes un poco de comida?" Alejandro's mother smiled at Maria and shook her head. "Ay. no...Uhmm...Diet!" she said, and Maria's eye twitched. Maria knew that Alejandro's mother knew she was fluent in Spanish but his mother always seemed to speak English to her because she used to live in the US-and even then they spoke Spanish to her in Texas! Maria just smiled back and nodded. "Okay!"

Alejandro had followed his father the moment Maria began to talk to his mother. "Oye-Puto." Hector turned around and quirked a brow up. "Que?" "It's not a secret that I don't like you, is it?" "...I guess not, no." His father was, by default, on hundred percent Mexican-he just grew up in Florida and therefor didn't know much Spanish. He could understand it though. "Well-I'm tolerating you for one fucking night only, Pendejo! Solo uno noche! Fuck it up and you'll never get to see the kids." "Pfft, what Kids? You'll porbaly end up getting them killed, like your sister-"

"Hector! Qué carajo?" Alejandro's mother shouted, waking her husband. He grunted and glared at Alejandro. "Just remember...your in my house, Cabron...Y mi casa no son tu casa." and Alejandro walked away, fuming. His eyebrows scrunched together-that is until he say Maria. Dancing and having fun with her (and only trusted) family members. "Mhh...Mi Vida, que pasa?" He asked, slipping behind her and taking her cervesa. She laughed gently and said, "Nada..." "Mhh, okay...I told my dad off, finally." "We heard." "...Good. Tio pedro needed to hear that." "Ha!"

Maria turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Wanna dance conmigo?" "Oh, Claro." His arms went around her torso and they started to sway, pausing every now and then to sip off of Maria's beer.

As the sun went down, the party got louder and bigger and then, as soon as it was dark out, everyone flooded the streets of Las Almas and los ninos ran around with sparklers and other handheld noise makers. Maria giggled as some of her younger cousins joined in the fun with their friends. "Tia Maria...do you think I'll see Titi this year?" Maria's littlest cousin asked. Trevor. He was around four, she thought. Titi was a hairless dog as old as time that had passed the previous year. Maria hummed and shrugged. "Well if we do...we won't see him like we did in this life." "Huh?" "He'll be back...but stronger and more playful! He won't act like an old dog...oh no, he'll be acting like a little puppy!" "Really? Why?" "Por que...Será un Alebrije-a spirt guide."

and Trevor grinned and ran off. Maria giggled softly and watched the kids play and felt her heart fall, just a little. "Tres anos...y no ninos...tsk tsk, no es beuno..." she heard from behind her. She didn't turn around, knowing it was Misses Vargas talking. "Ma, por favor! Lo estamos intentando!" Maria blushed at the lie Alejandro told his mother and thanked god she had painted her face. "Alejandro-Por favor. If that were true you'd have at least two of them running in the streets by now!" his father said, and Maria groaned quietly. Why were Mexican families like this?

The yelling went on until the stroke of midnight, which was when Maria really got into festive cheer. "Alejandro-Alejandro Vamanos!" she said, grabbing her husband's arm and running out onto the streets. They ran and ran until the reached la plaza, where they saw Rudy with he new girlfriend. "Oye-Rodolfo!" Alejandro called, waving over. Maria waved too, Rudy and his girl waved back but then Alejandro and Rudy had to hold onto their hats becuase of such an intense wind gust. "Ha ha! It's my sister callin' me stupid!" Alejandro joked, but he was grinning happily. Maria was too. "No-es mi hermanito saying he likes you!" she joked back, and she and Alejandro laughed together for a whole minuet and a half.

It was these kinds of nights that made Maria realize she loved Alejandro...to an amount that words couldn't describe. She looked up at him. He wasn't looking back, he was shouting over the crowd to Rudy, who was shouting back. But Maria gazed at her husbaned and whispered the words, "You really did save me...didn't you?"

Alejandro looked down at Maria and asked if she was drunk, she shook her head and He smiled at her. "...Could i get that beso now, Mi corazon?" "...hm, i dunno, Mi Amor.." "Por favor Mi Linda?" "Mhh, claro que si."

He leaned down just as another gust of wind blew and this time...the mariachi bands started playing their music and the dancers started dancing along with the crowd. Alejandro lost his hat to the mercy of the wind, but crared about un sombero when he was kissing his ermosa esposa?

"Lo se..." "Heh heh, y yo tambien, Mi Amor...yo tambien, Mi Pistolita."

[pitchlag]

Rvb19 thoughts in no particular order

Yeah so. I still think s13 is The capping point for me and all that comes after is hypothetical/simulations or whatever.

First of all. No, you fucking don't get to separate Grif and Simmons.

Having the groups act hostile towards each other (or just the Reds against Caboose again) right after Chorus was a a big enough of a crime already. But those two are a package deal.

So what the fuck even happened in the SoC fight? Why would they let Tucker just walk out in the aftermath? I guess Carolina booked it to go after him bc why else would she leave Wash alone again, after he was supposedly injured?? Also Doc dying, wow rude. Donut and his VA are free to enjoy their break but where' was heeeeeeee where'd he goooooo he was barely mentioned at aaaalllllllll >:(

Sarge's death speech was surprisingly long and clear even though his lungs were probably pierced, cauterized or no.

On one hand I have a hard time seeing Sarge dying peacefully in a bed instead of in battle but he didn't have to stay at that doorway after they got back. He didn't have to die there. I'm glad he went back for Caboose though cuz that is one his boys (even if he's a dirty Blue).

Grif and Simmons talking about him at his grave was pretty good scene and so was the campfire reminiscing one but again, Sarge didn't have to die and I refuse a world where Grif and Simmons would go their separate ways like that. No wonder Gus and Geoff were shocked to find out this was the last season.

I got so excited the second I recognized Tex's knuckle crack ;o;

So close to a proper Tex and Caro combo, though I do get that they wouldn't work well together because of their history and different fighting styles :( Still, even if AI boosted, Tucker shouldn't be anywhere near good enough to go against both.

Also they got Kathleen back for Tex, John Erler for North and Samantha Ireland for CT??? Couldn't have seen that coming. Also Miles was aight doing Elijah Wood's voice but I guess a lot of it was helped by the voice mods.

Beta may have been "a failure" and Sigma is a bitch but his speech at her felt really off. She was still a major part of Alpha and the memories of Allison were the reason the rest of the pieces came to be in the first place. The Meta collective tried to catch her both in cases of the og Tex and Epsi-Tex, so Sigma full on rejecting her and the rest not reacting at all was really weird.

"This time, I'm not based on his memories, I'm based on theirs. And I always kicked their asses." A nice change of pace re: Beta as Alpha's/Allison's "failure". ....

Chex has embedded itself deep into my brain, so of course I Felt Things seeing them interact one last time fr fr. Tex finally got to go out with some agency of her own, yet we've come a full circle, they're back together again as Leonard and Allison. At least one good ending. Easily the best part of the movie.

Security working from home extremely funny, but the bit went on for too long and video calls w/ technical issues bc haha relatable feels like an overdone trope already

Felix being included as a part of the Meta was kinda weird? He never really interacted with the armor or the AI to warrant it I think.

Niner and Sheila :)

No Junior :(

So uh. Tucker got no closure re:Epsilon's death and just kinda. Walks it off after the possession is over? After Wash and Memory!Doc had that talk about the things an AI in your head does to you??

Speaking of Wash:

I know he's always been linked to memory and I actually like how they handled his brain damage in the Shisno Paradox, but I just have a very different image of how he feels about the PFL folks in the aftermath. To me Carolina always seemed more like the type to feel regret over how things went with PFL; she was kind of in a leadership position, had her tragic relationship with York and she felt taking down the Director was her duty.

Wash did arguably have a lot more positive ties to others than she did during the Project, but he was ready to burn it all down while in Recovery duty. I always thought he would have a lot harder time moving past his own trauma of getting left behind to get back to the good memories. Regrets about Doc I can kinda understand since they had time to work together while at Chorus after Wash's villain arc was over, but again, the man carries a grudge like it's a badge of honor. He didn't exactly get closure with his former teammates, aside from collecting the AI from their dead bodies after he'd been left alone following the fall of the MoI and after South shot him in the back. It's interesting how differently Shisno trilogy and S19 handled how Wash and Carolina feel about the whole thing, but I'm glad they stick together regardless. I love their relationship so much.

Wash staying silent when the recovery unit is broken..... Ngl I'm kinda obsessed with how he and Epsilon never got closure

I still don't have interest in checking out Zero....

Woulda been a lot better if they just let Trocadero do the music :( As predicted, the movie OST lacked the personality the series OST was built on and somehow including one track from them felt a bit of an insult. A reminder of what could've been. Also I didn't like the "oohh this part is super loud because movie" bits

Tragically obvious how rushed the production was and how they had a lot less people and resources to work with

If Shisno was a mixed bag of some high highs and a lot of lows, this was relatively steadily ok. Some dips, at least one peak. Not nearly as good as what precedes it but. ok. I can take it as one possibility

Sigh. The funky space marines are finally free. (I'm not, these fuckers seem to continue to fail evacuating my brain)

[ninicaise]

@bacchantbroccoli what the people want the people get!! warning though i am not a fan of the girlboss queen perfect tragic dead woman so get ready for some messy disaster mothers. also i did not intend for them to be this long so i had to split them a little for readability.

hennike lore in my head:

marie-antoinette ass character. marie-antoinette-esque. marie-antoinette core. etc

didn't have a filter in the most innocent way possible, didn't fit in with the subtlety of veretian court politics which is part of why laurent is drawn to damen's tendency to say whatever the fuck he was thinking most of the time.

auguste had to do a lot of the heavy lifting raising laurent partly bc she was sick a lot and couldn't always get out of bed and partly bc she saw auguste was so good at her and aleron's job she sometimes decided he could handle the whole thing. was young when she was married off so she tended to be a little self-centred; she didn't have time to grow out of being a child before having children herself.

despite this she did the best she could and tried to bond with them especially academically and creatively, and tried her best to include kemptian culture in both of their educations. speaking of;

she tried to raise her kids bilingual but it didn't last long bc aleron didn't like that as he is basically a cartoon villain. she put up with a lot of shit from aleron in general bc marriage love duty which resulted in auguste putting up with a lot of shit from Everyone Ever All The Time bc kingdom love duty which lead to laurent putting up with the regent's shit and being ridiculed in his own court for so many years. bc family love trauma status.

maybe if she still had the tendency to always say whatever the fuck crossed her mind by the time she realized she was being poisoned then things would've been different.

hypermenestra lore in my head:

this is a messy one okay basically choices were made and they were not the best ones.

first thing about hypermenestra is that was sooo loving so adoring so protective of kastor to the point of being overbearing. permissive. keep that in mind.

didn't mind whether kastor was going to be king or not but after a few years she got used to the idea so damen was a huge shock to her. she tried not to let it show too much bc egeria was her friend and whatnot but kastor could tell. being only child for the majority of his childhood usually coddled and not having much demanded from him given they were still lowkey hoping from an heir from egeria but still being told it was likely he was going to be king was a DISASTROUS choice on both theomedes and hypermenestra's part and on top of that hypermenestra was a piss poor liar. kastor Noticed.

she was not cold towards damen but she was not motherly either bc she didn't see it as her responsibility (which. was she wrong).

she could see kastor being a little bummed at the whole situation and tried to cheer him up by telling him he would've done a better job than damen at ruling anyway, this one time she went as far as ignoring damen being in the same room as her bc kastor was in a mood. often called kastor her 'little king' once or twice letting a 'my true king' slip which. had its consequences.

must stress this is not bc she was resentful of anyone, she just didn't want kastor to be sad or frustrated or any negative emotion ever and she didn't know how to deal with it. she was in absolute agony every time she saw kastor have the slightest fucking frown it was honestly incredible to see.

overall had no intention of creating a coup but ultimately theomedes loved her so much and was so permissive with her that she loved kastor so much she was so permissive with him that kastor decided he could do whatever he wanted. ironically, damen never got that permission, and when he realized in slavery that he had been taking something that wasn't his, he accepted it gracefully and with dignity, and decided to give it back with ease.

+ egeria lore bc i started thinking abt my one true rightful queen of akielos:

did not want children for a long time. she fully understood the responsibility that having a child meant and fully believed she was not ready. used a lot of contraceptive methods for a few years and it really messed up with her system, unfortunately.

probably would've made the best mother of the lot. ironic isn't it.

had an incredible vision. could see shit coming from miles away which gave her a tendency to jump to conclusions too quickly and accept no other information + be a bit too much with criticism. this got an unflattering reputation for a few years, added to the fact that she was also very private very cold very tactical for an akielon, and thus very lonely.

it's not that she didn't care for people and she wasn't cold, or harsh, just stoic. she wasn't exactly an approachable person. in fact, the only time she was seen with true softness on her face was the first and only time she held damen in her arms.

got along better with hypermenestra than theomedes. she thought theomedes was a little thick and lacked insightfulness and she knew theomedes thought she was basically insane. mostly their marriage was one of mutual tolerance. hypermenestra on the other hand was very eloquent even though she tended to agree with everything egeria said in the end. couldn't keep a damn opinion but at least she understood egeria when she talked.

kastor though, big fan. egeria loved that child’s wisdom, was more of an aunt figure to him at the time. she got kinda sad when kastor stopped talking to her after she got pregnant, but she understood it.

in truth very little was known about the late queen. nobody dared to get close enough to really know her. and well. queen egeria was so lovely, so dedicated, knowledgable and clever, gentle and playful at times, even. had anyone taken the time to know her, to truly see her, she wouldn't be just another tragic royal death now. damen asked around and though he didn't come to this exact same conclusion, he got the feeling there was something missing in the way people spoke about his mother. had he known her, he would have truly seen her. he has a tendency to want to see past appearences, still.

[yaraaflor]

is there a reason you like dickhelena? what's your ideal idea of a relationship between them - a shorter thing or do you see them working out

omg tell me how this ask has been in my inbox a whole ass month and i never saw it... my bad anon i wasn't ignoring you lol i just never get asks ig. anyways! answer got long so it's under the cut.

dickhelena my beloved... well first of all i do NOT see them ever working out as a like. super long-term married couple type thing. i think their relationship could be functionally good in a lot of ways but they will always have a fundamentally different view of killing and the ethics of it. and i don't think dick would ever be able to fully get past that. like... how do i put this... i think he would be able to get over it TO A POINT out of love, but it would always be a source of tension between them, and at some point the issue would be forced, either by helena killing someone or them disagreeing about somebody else killing someone. i don't think dick's no-killing morality is quite as strong as bruce's, but it's not nothing to him. and i also think he would take issue with the why of it all - like helena killing people bc she believes they cannot be reformed, as opposed to like. idk kory who comes from a different culture and has had to kill her own oppressors.

and also i think bruce would be a permanent issue for them. like helena has a super complex relationship with bruce (and ofc dick does too but he's always going to be loyal to bruce, as his father figure), and bruce sure as hell would not approve of their relationship. which, dick wouldn't let bruce just trample all over his love life, but. at a certain point, having your SO and your family at odds with each other can become exhausting.

BUT just because i don't think they would last forever doesn't mean i don't think the relationship would be meaningful. i think they could have a lot of fun together, if they let themselves, and i think they could make each other happy for a time.

i think a key part of dickhelena is, even when they disagree, they're not incapable of understanding each other. they're both children of gotham who have lost a lot to violence and are trying to help others avoid that. and unlike a lot of the other bats, they both try to maintain an ordinary life and job alongside their vigilante work. they both have soft hearts and hard heads. the way they show it is pretty different, but it's there.

and i mean part of the draw of the relationship to me is the complexity of it. of being at odds about one or two major issues, but compatible in so many other ways. of having a kind of love-hate, flirting-fighting dynamic, and a bit of a messy history. but despite that, seeing the good in each other, and still seeing it even when things are over.

there's something to be said, imo, for relationships that don't work out, but don't end with bad blood either. like it's those relationships that often help people learn and grow, and i think they get overlooked in fandom a lot. for understandable reasons! we all have an otp we want to be in love forever. but for dick and helena, i think of them more as like a 'we didn't work out but it's not because the love wasn't there' type thing. love isn't always enough to make things last and that's important to realize.

....looking back i feel like to a certain extent my answer might not be satisfactory here bc a part of my reason for liking dickhelena is like... i just do? lol. like i love both their characters and i like them together and i think they have a certain chemistry that i can't really put into words. and i understand that not everyone feels that way about them which is fine.

but yah. sorry for making you wait for this anon lol

[evansbby]

*POYT 5 UPDATE* + some general chit chat lol

lmfao at the way I thought I could contain this beast of a fic under 30k words. I’m at 29k words rn and still have 1.5 scenes left to write plus the epilogue… so it’s safe to say it’ll be longer than 30k words.

Also if anything has made me doubt my writing, it’s this fic. I just… I want it to live up to expectations so bad that I keep going back and editing it. And that’s made me hate parts of it and I panic bc I don’t want to change it but then I do but then I don’t and I just… UGH! I just want to be 1000% happy with it but I feel like that’s impossible at this point.

One thing I hate about my writing is the way I just go on and on and there’s so much unnecessary preamble, so I always go back and try and edit all that out. Like delete all the random extra wording I use and just try and get to the point faster. But then even that’s hard bc every single thing I’ve written in poyt 5 is just so relevant to the story!

Now I have so many doubts bc maybe I should’ve split it into two parts, maybe I should’ve changed the plot and done it different and I just… IT’S TOO LATE TO CHANGE IT and honestly I’m happy with my original plot but I’m also scared of how it’ll be perceived. Bc I remember a few people were critical of the Bucky spin-off and like… with how much effort I’ve put into this 30+k fic, I think I’d actually cryyyy if people perceived it badly.

BUT THEN the rational part of my head is reassuring me that it’ll be fine… that I’ve genuinely worked so hard on it that it can’t actually be as bad as I sometimes think it is. Bc I’ll read it and not think it’s “epic” enough to be a fitting conclusion but like… this isn’t GOT we’re talking about it’s just POYT 🥲😂 and POYT isn’t meant to be epic, it’s meant to be heartwrenching and sad and emotional… which I think it is!!

Ultimately, I’ve stayed true to my original idea. Of course I’ve made minor changes along the way (plus one huge major change to the ending that I had originally envisioned but we’ll discuss that once the chapter is out heheh). BUT YEAH, this is all just mindless mind chatter and insecurities and I’m just writing it all down bc it’s better to get your feelings out isn’t it…

I guess my worst fear is people saying that the fic was draggy, that it got too tedious and long for them, that it got boring halfway through, that it wasn’t what they thought it was going to be, that I let them down, that i bit off more than I could chew and now I haven’t given them a satisfactory conclusion. And I honestly don’t know how I’d defend myself to all this criticism if I got it bc I genuinely tried my best.

But let’s also remember that I started writing this fic back in January. And other writers know that when we reread our work we always want to change it or tweak it or in hindsight we know we could’ve written it better. And I HAVE tweaked it since then and rewritten and edited and all that… but I’ve kept the plot bc I have faith in it… this is the story I want to tell.

And I realise that writing all this is kind of insane and I know people are side eying me and rolling their eyes but guys I’m just putting my emotions down and I’m genuinely scared. I’ve always said that whenever I post a new chapter of poyt, it’s insane the way my heart beats and my palms get sweaty like I SWEAR to you I have a whole ass panic attack each time I post but it’s always vindicated by the amazing feedback so it’s a win win

HONESLTG reading over this word vomit I feel like I sound insane but genuinely I’m just trying to get my thoughts down. I guess I’m just super insecure about this last chapter but honestly, anyone in my position would be?? Right??? I just hope you guys love it. And the characters are believable and you think the writing is good

Okay I’ll stop now byeee

[isa-ghost]

Hey Isa!! So I haven’t really been following the QSMP, I’ll admit, but I heard about the recent angst of the “Cage for a cage” situation, and I’m very intrigued! What are Philza and Wilbur’s stories in the QSMP? I’d love to know more! Also where could I find all their footage to catch up?

Well Wilbur's sorta yeeted into the void bc of Lovejoy things, so there's not much to talk about on his front. He has his egg daughter Talullah, who Phil is looking after and has adopted as his own at this point bc its been months, and that's kinda it as far as major keypoints go for Wilbur lore. That and he canonized (or tried to?) him/Phil father/son dynamics again. Haven't heard much from the community if we accepted that as canon or as a Wilbur Bit Because Of Course He Tried To Canonize That Again.

Phil lore on the other hand. OUGH. I don't know where to start, it feels like so little and so much at the same time. Which is funny bc this motherfucker is so allergic to lore despite being a bomb ass rper (I have 11+ years experience rping, this man is rp veteran approved). I get timezones exist and whatnot & he's usually 3-4 hours into a stream already by the time he gets on QSMP to begin with, but he dodged so much of The Horrors for so long. This week has been an outlier and the crows are suffering thriving.

As far as his lore (in a simplified tldr) goes: Ancient bird man wired for nothing but survival gets plopped on a weird island with other English speakers & Spanish speakers. Shit Is Weird And Continues To Be, but all the islanders make friends with eacg other. They're *emotionally slams fist on table* levels of tightknit. Phil especially is always so ready to help anyone out. Timeskip a month or so, Island Federation decides to play matchmaker and then make said matches parents. They're given a dragon's eggs because Dragon Gone ??? Phil acquires egg kid and raises them to be a careful & loving powerhouse like himself (& then later gets second egg kid who's meant to be Wilbur's) only for the island he's stuck on to throw every wrench at him they can in the form of mobs, federation people, trivial ass tasks given by said feds, and more. The longer things go on the worse they get, and ancient man's biggest weakness is his two kids who keep getting used against him. But ancient bird man is an anarchist, this federation can pound sand. Federation doesn't like that! Ancient bird man get punished. (And that's skipping chunks of things, but I have the memory of a peanut so I'll leave better summaries to someone better equipped.) Also when he's not experiencing the horrors he has at least 4 other men thirsting for him at any given time and he donowalls their advances beautifully while also playing into their flirting and thirsting at the same time because he has No /R Thoughts, Only Goddess Wife and egg children. Goddess wife also encourages his unintentional yaoi-ing.

I DO know you can catch up on QSMP lore via the official recap channel "QSMP Info" on YouTube! There's two videos out so far so the recaps aren't caught up to date yet, but they're made by the admins of the server, so they're thorough and accurate.

There's also a Phil VODs channel that's run by one of the most devoted PEGS (Philza Early Gang Society, Phil's offline chatters <3) in the crow community. I'm sure they have every single QSMP vod uploaded (but strap in, Phil's not a 1-3 hour stream andy, he's a 5-8 hour stream chad). Most times, he does Hardcore first then QSMP later (though I think a few times while playing TOTK he'd get on later too so ??? Good luck?) so realistically despite being a 5-8 hour stream chad, there's only 2-4 hours of QSMP in the vod, you just gotta skim through the last half of the vod. For reference, you'll want to search for vods from March 22nd, 2023 to now. That's how long QSMP has been going. It'd be laborious to fish out every crumb of QSMP stream time but I do genuinely think it's worth it just to see how things on the island develop and why so many people are screaming about The Horrors every day.

I'm sure you could also scrape around YouTube for like. Fanmade recaps, perhaps even Phil-centric ones, though I'd be wary of ones that have character analysis rather than just the plain ol stream content a) because they won't have every bit of footage & b) Sometimes People Are Wrong About Characters. You could also dig for clips of major moments (Phil has some on his Phil Clips YT but they're mostly funny) but that'd probably not give you the whole picture if you wanna be slamming your fists on the table and screaming like a monkey with the rest of us LOL.

There's also plenty of livebloggers who scream as streams progress, so check out some tags maybe. The main one is probably #qsmp liveblogging but that'll be any & all member POVs so it's not the most helpful resource but an idea nonetheless. You'd probably be better off looking through #qsmp philza or #q!philza or something, you'd just have to sift through creative works, memes & shitposts too.

Any crows who follow me that might have more/better resources are welcome & encouraged to reblog or reply to this and add Phil lore summaries (and your character analyses bc Phil mains are trustworthy) or more things to check out in order to get all the Good Shit Lore(TM) btw!

(Reblogging might also help this reach crows who DO have more/better suggestions or the capability to recap Phil lore thoroughly, so please do that. :] )

[stormyweaver]

Lots of venting below, but sometimes it's hard for me to jot it all down in my journal. Plus it's my blog so I can post whatever, fuck you.

Last night was... difficult. I think I slept 3/4 hours, which is about an hour less than I usually do. My mind just wouldn't stop racing.

I don't know why I feel so isolated in every space I inhabit. I know parts of it (my difficulty with trusting people, feeling like I'm never 'authentic' enough, trying to make my personality palatable to EVERYONE and then feeling like a husk at the end of the day) but I've noticed a pattern that's very disturbing to me.

I never speak up for myself. If something bothers me, I never say anything. Until I do. And it either comes out in a way that's civil, or I just completely blow up.

But it seems no matter WHAT way I say it, me speaking up for myself almost always ends in losing that friendship/relationship/etc. I let go of basically my biggest friend group this year because I expressed feeling left out, and was given verbal reassurance that that wouldn't happen - and then it did happen.

Ever since then (late May?) I've basically felt like I can't maintain any kind of friendship or relationship with anyone. I get triggered at even the perceived notion that someone doesn't want to be around me. I make friends at work, but then those drop off too, even when I'm giving all the effort I possibly can. I see people with friends and I get so viscerally jealous and hate myself for not being able to have that with more people.

I am so grateful for the friends I do have, the majority being on here. But there's a part of my brain that constantly tells me 'You're one bad take or one wrong joke from losing them'. That doesn't seem normal to me. I want to ask my therapist about it, but now that I'm starting this new job, and her latest slot is typically taken, it's hard to get an actual bi-weekly or even monthly appointment down.

When we did have our (short) introduction meeting, she asked me who my support system is, and I couldn't really give her a definitive answer. I don't really have anyone in my immediate area to rely on. It's literally just me, and the friends I have online.

I try talking to my dad, or my sister, or my paternal grandmother and it feels so empty and hollow bc, while my sister can at least empathize with me, the other two will just say 'Praying for you!' and send me like, 25 dollars. I don't... I don't want money? I need a support system. And I don't know how to express that. I don't know how to express to the people in my life that I'm so jaded, and anxious, and depressed, and miserable that I can't even sleep at night with how rapidly my thoughts are racing, with how negatively I think and react.

I've been trying so hard to come to terms with the fact that maybe I'm just broken. That I'll never have a 'normal' life and a 'normal' thought process. But I feel like there's a difference between not being or feeling or thinking 'normally' and feeling like I'm being punished for every time I don't adhere to what everyone else says I should be doing.

The only thing that gives me any real reprieve is journaling, writing and reading. But I've become such a solitary creature over the years. Even when I try to befriend people who I live with, or work with, or go to groups with... it's like I can't get my own head out of my own ass long enough to make a genuine connection. Or I get ghosted.

I don't know how to figure any of this out. I don't know how to re-program my brain so it stops sabotaging every little chance I get at happiness. I don't know how to express how I feel without crying and sobbing because my emotions hurt so much to even convey to my therapist.

I'm so angry and sad and insecure and afraid. And I'm so, so very tired.

[ilcantodelsoleil]

hiii so i had to sit n think abt these But there are some Miscellaneous stsg hc <3

geto always had some sweets on him to give to gojo at any moments and they're always his favourite flavour (which I've decided is strawberry)

^ relating to that, couple of weeks after defecting he finally found a shop owned by a sorcerer so one of the first thing he bought was gojo's favourite candy. it was very much a subconscious decision. he kept them with him.

SIMILARLY gojo used to drag geto always for food after mission bc he wanted to help with the aftertaste of curses

so canonically gojo is a digimon nerd so when they used to have sleepovers* they'd watch it together ( Digimon Data Squad was airing out in 2006 so it's perfect ) and many times they fell asleep with cuddling

* their dorms were opposite each other and Trust they tried to convince yaga to let them share a room officially. it never worked. unofficially tho they practically stayed at geto's room 80% of the time when they were in the school

initially they didn't get a long bc middle class country boy geto thought gojo was just a rich spoiled brat who happens to be powerful, his perspective changed gradually however the catalyst was listening to gojo go on a physicis tangent as he was training his technique.

For gojo whoever what made him actually get attached to geto was getting his ass kicked by him in hand to hand combat. yes he's embrassing like that.

barely a week into their friendship gojo ended up customising his uniform to match geto's

this is more of a ramble but I always imagine that it's was geto falling first and recognising his crush for what it is meanwhile gojo is super oblivious abt and genuinely assumed this is just how friendships are (bc this is his first time having someone be his person) he only realised it as something more after the kfc breakup

all of these are canon actually i am not taking no for an answer. i just know for a fact geto was like me and hated strawberry bc of the artificiality of the taste but he'd always get strawberry for gojo no matter what. i am a major proponent of them sleeping in the same room when gojo would actually let himself sleep. GOD PHYSICS NERD GOJO IS SO GOOD I LOVE MY DIGIMON LOSER 😭😭😭😭😭😭 OH THE LAST ONE YOURE EVIL I LOVE ALL OF THESE THANK YOU SO MUCH 🥹🥹🥹🥹