#bc after last volume?
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You know, when they said “you never stop learning things about yourself” I don’t think they meant five consecutive years of having a new identity crisis.
#sophomore year of high school: am I queer/aroace? yes#junior year of high school: am I trans? yes#senior year: am I autistic? almost certainly yes (that’s just me having imposter syndrome it’s definitely a yes)#last year: not questioning anything just coming to terms with being physically disabled#and now my friends are saying I have hpd and I’m like hey just because I maybe (the wording is vague and I’m autistic and I hate it) fit the#diagnostic criteria doesn’t mean I HAVE IT#it’s vague and idk how much I relate to it but I relate to a decent amount of it very strongly#but like I wasn’t even neglected as a child (that sentence really says volumes abt my friend group) I have other family issues but idk how#that would be related to attention seeking like is it really just all bc I was just a really lonely child?#like I was an only child with autism and adhd and I didn’t have a friend group I felt truly secure until fifth grade after which we all went#to different middle schools and then it wasn’t until like sophomore year of high school okay maybe this is worse than I thought saying it#out loud…#I know I have anxious attachment#I know I very much have that#but like.#I’m just a theater kid it’s fi- *sounds of me being hit with a pillow by my friends*#yeah#this is kind of a vent atp#autism#neurodivergent#disability#yeh#the heir speaks
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finished rewatching skip beat and maaaan i forgot how horrible the finale was like it rlly just ends in the middle of a story arch who does that i'll forever stay mad
#like yes i remembered my frustration and theres a reason i bought the manga volumes after that bc i needed to know what happens#but while watching right now i didnt even realise i was already on the last ep bc the plot wasnt giving Finale#urgh#rambles#skip beat
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unnecessary comparison of the day!
volume 5’s release of one of asuna’s chapters changed the subject of her stan twt cancellation posts from mona to miyu (of frusu)!
#there are also minor dialogue changes from the piccoma release to the volume versions but still~~~~#though ngl i love how asuna is the one who has received the most dialogue changes out of everyone in the series lmao#she received one in vol 2 when. like. no one else did iirc#ily asuna frusu i wanna k n o w your after story auauaauaaaaaaaaa#but. man. now im faced with a tough decision for vol 4.#do i or do i not have asuna cuss mona out in the name of localisation or should i just tl directly?#bc so far i’ve tried to tl asuna based on vibes and such as much as possible (instead of direct tls) sooooo#i just. wanna do her justice mannnnnnn. she’s a dumbass but she’s *my* dumbass yk?#but aside from that… i gotta try my best to come up with tls for the variety show segments auaaaaaaaa#i think my little theme of attempted alliteration would work? im sorry appare☆manten you’re sunny⭐︎skies now#hmmmmamamsmmdmdkdjdmdjdjdjdjse im sorryy im goinggngngng insaneeeee from the lack of lxl album shipping updates auauauaaaaaaaaa#p l s ship my album i n e e d to inject meoto into my veins#pls cmonnnnn you cant just suddenly up the shipping price by 20 bucks and *not* ship it on timeeeee#im gonna e a t d h l if it’s the last thing i do#m. maybe it’ll ship if i finish tling the vol 3 bonus chapter today (delusional) i hate waiting for parcels smmmmmm#ok insanity over i think i should get some dinner bye
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I am enjoying red hood: the hill, but it's kind of driving me crazy how after they did all that shit in Gotham War, they immediately tried to sweep it under the rug with joker: the man who stopped laughing (even tho the issue wasn't really resolved over there), and now giving Jason a series set in the past so it doesn't have to deal with the fallout...DC please...
#ramblings of a lunatic#dc comics#I heard someone say that the next installment of dc vs vampires is seemingly the last thing Matthew Rosenberg has lined up at DC#which is a shame bc after reading his red hood: gotham war tie-in issues i think he has a pretty decent handling on Jason#the complicated and oft times contradictory line he walks between what violence is necessary and what isn't#but his sympathetic elements and charm are still on display#sigh. i need to read task force z don't i#one day I'll read under the red hood in full to get a taste of full on villain!jason#if i stick w/ GA past the phsycial volume i own I'm bound to come across him again and see if ppl are being normal abt the mia thing#idk I think jason as a character has somewhat suffered due to the fact that his character development was very much connected-#-w the n52 reboot#which worked at the time but now that a lot of that continuity is being brought back#it's making ppl realise that we didn't get a true ''jason putting aside differences to try and work w/ the batfamily'' arc or moment#although I do remember him being anti-heroic in the final crisis tie-in?? with kyle and donna right????#i honestly think jason just needs a bit of tlc and introspection and this new storybeat provides a cool outlet for that#(someone talk to me about my red hood idea/pitch pretty pleasseee)#and definitely some cleaning up of his continuity (maybe after some more universe altering events. sigh)#but instead of hopping right on that when they have the opportunity we're getting an (admittedly fun) flashback series#in which jason is more of a co-star than headliner#bwahhh
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Despite all odds, I have arrived home safely👍
Turns out that the earlier goop was the better goop. The adderall goop. The adderall has worn off now though. So I am. Very incredibly out of it.
But I am home. And I will take my quick shower. And then I will climb into bed.
I do need to eat. But... later...
#speculation nation#im the special kind of tired where im more tired than hungry#which is to say my every cell is yelling at me to get some fucking sleep.#and i dont think id be much more successful at eating rn than i was this morning.#i ate. half a can of chef boyardee. which was half bc i was so focused on typing and half bc i could barely stomach it.#so i at least ate Something. but not as much as normal.#i did have an ensure in the middle of the day. so theres some nutrients too at least.#i'll eat after i get a few hours of sleep. when the edge is no longer so desperate.#and hopefully i'll be able to stomach things better then.#honestly have all nighters always been this hard or am i just getting older? i havent actually pulled an all nighter since uhhh#well there was kind of one on dead dad day. but that day sucked just in general.#last time i think was april '23 when i read t.rimax volume 9-14 within a 24 hour period while also finishing a final presentation.#even then tho i got like 2 hours of sleep. it was still pretty rough though.#like ok i guess those times were pretty awful and also i did get at least some sleep. which is more than today.#so it makes sense for me to be in worse shape rn. i also didnt get as much sleep the night before last as i wanted to#i got... ...maybe 4 hours sleep??? ummm. which isnt a good thing actuslly. no wonder im so fucking exhausted.#i can barely type right now i will be honest. it was so hard to bike home. it took all my focus to not drive off a bridge#or get pushed into traffic by wind. oh boy the wind sure did try.#then i almost tripped down the stairs at my apartment after grabbing the mail bc i Briefly was focused on my mail 🙄#barely present. total mess. but at least im home. and i already did all the thinking i need to do today.#i was brave. i perservered. i was tempted to give up around 6 am ish but i was like No. this is getting done TODAY.#so i did it. i turned it in. and i so bravely did my in class work for my 2nd class. even though i was so mentally not present the whole way#i did my thinking... i am home... rest soon.#actually its kind of funny im lying on my couch rn and i think if most other ppl were in my current state theyd fall asleep right here.#but the power of my insomnia is so. powerful. i am not at risk of falling asleep without meaning to.#only time thats ever actually happened are like. a handful of times i was like. the most tired ive ever been in my life. etc etc.#in fact idk how well i'll be able to fall asleep for my nap. i certainly couldnt last night despite how hard i tried.#hopefully this time... i am truly tired enough....pls i need to rest i am so tired 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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Been thinking about inuyasha a lot lately
#mainly bc one of the FA endings came up on my shuffle#after reading the manga that was such a bastardization but the music slaps#but yeah it took them 150 episodes (subtract filler) to do 36 volumes#and they did the last 20 volumes in 26 episodes and then put EVERYTHING OUT OF ORDER!!!! EVERYTHING#and so much they skipped :((((
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feeling weird mixed feelings atm and I can't really logic them away, ig? on the one hand I'm completely apathetic about it. on the other hand there's a part of me that's absolutely horrified that I could do something like that. the fact that it's still a consistent low-level pain the whole time also doesn't help. anyway those kinds of thoughts are then making me want to harm again to cope with them but also a) it's manageable and b) I currently have a deep horror of self-inflicted pain after the last few days apparently.
#more specific blatherings in the tags so im gonna get them below the read more in case anyone doesn't want to read it#tw sh#because yes this is about the last few days and im gonna add a few more words to get the rest below the read more#the fact that while they aren't as deep as i've ever gone before they are unquestionably in volume far exceeding any#before. not that i count at the time or anything but there are at least sixty new cuts from the last week so no wonder it's painful#but yeah it's just. an interesting emotional feeling once the pressure that triggered them is gone#i don't know i don't understand myself really#glad i have a psych appointment monday really#if i didn't have one booked i'd probably be booking one about now#also bothered by how visible the ones on my wrist are going to be.#hopefully the redness will go away soon bc i don't think they're quite healed yet#teatree oil is helping tho so hopefully they won't be TOO obvious#the location means that yeah they will be visible but hopefully not too too much#and after all i have only for-sure hit the fat layer twice. maybe a few other times. there are a couple taking ages to heal atm#so they might've idk. and i haven't gone any deeper than that#honestly with the wrist ones the fact is that it was blunt and i couldn't#sharpen it at hte time. perhaps tmi but yeah this may have saved my life and or my hand function#but i might be overstating it. anyway apparently that was three weeks and one day ago?? wow#guys that entire day i was convinced i wasn't going to live to see the morning. the WHOLE DAY#i literally have a commie newspaper on my desk currently because they tried selling it at uni and i was so existential i was just like.#'what is life. what is money. who cares' and bought it. see this is the funny story i referred to. i can elaborate#personal#puddleglum hours#tw suicide
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#i treated myself to the last 3 volumes of my love mix-up for my after xmas treat#and i finished reading it today and i’m so ;-;#i remember buying the first volume on a whim and then never reading it for months#bc i didnt think id actually be into. i think i bought it to get some discount deal#but i finally gave it a chance last year#and so have slowly collected and read the 9 volumes#and it really might just be my fave series ive read in a while ;-;#its so sweet and fun. and the i love the art#anyways i think my goal or whatever this year is to finish off all the series ive started and never finished for no reason#not really an important goal but i just leave so much unfinished and it annoys me 🧍🏻♀️#personal#no point to this post other than to say just how much i loved this series ;-;
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as we can all see, the bsd brainworms got me. so i am adding bsd to the manga collection chart 🫡
#i haven't really connected it even READ manga in so many years#and then i realized that i only owned one (1) volume of haikyuu while i was binging it#and that the anime likely wouldn't go as far as the manga does#(it should only be these next 2 movies i believe?)#so i wanted to be able to actually read the whole story#so I've set off to stop by the bookstore every week before trivia (since they're on the same road anyway) to buy 1 volume every week#or that's the goal but since it's a used book store after a certain point there won't BE volumes i don't already have#BUT now I've added bsd (and it's light novels) to this#alas i do actually have a good but if bsd manga already though#despite having more actually READ IT i do have the first 9 volumes of mana and 5 light novels cksjjcjsjcjjsjc#anyway#🫡#this means if they don't have a new volume of haikyuu i will look for one of bsd instead#and if they have neither i will simply not buy anything#now i just need to figure out the timing bc i was WAYYYYY too early last week fjsjjvjsj#shh ac
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Manga and merch haul from today!!
#prince's talk tag#went to a street fair in the city and ate a bunch of expensive food but they tasted good so im not too mad#and then i hit up kino and bnn for books#bnn was doing their buy one get one 50 percent off so that made me get more than i was planning on getting#most of these are just the next volume(s) i needed to read#witch hat did have the first two volumes of cooking spin off but i wasnt sure how worth itd be#like my boys are the stars but last time i read a chill cooking manga i wasnt as into it and ended up dropping it#so im afraid of that happening here#the eclair series i was interested in bc its a bunch of yuri one shots and i only had bleue and blanche and didnt know there was more#so imagine my surprise when i saw two other colors and i think the first one before they started naming it after colors#i got scared for a second bc i thought i accidentally bought eclair twice but i was confusing it for bleue so there were no dupes#another thing i was surprised to find where the cds in the first pic#i have the osts of the og games but not their remakes so ofc i had to get them#i just need FES and Royal and im all set (i got reload's on mercari)#went back to the place i got the blind boxes and i was trying for Luka or Kaito and i got Wonderland Luka but Computer Len#im not mad i got Len bc he is my son but i do like how Luka's looks for it but theyre pricy so i didnt want to buy too many#now if i could wonderland!kaito and computer!luka id be happy#also did the gachapon machine and got a snow miku keychain which you can see on the book in pic 3#its really cute i like it a lot
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re: you reading name of the rose: did you watch the movie as well? do you tend to seek out adaptations of novels at all and do you have a preference in which order you watch/read them?
i haven't and i didn't know there was one!
if i read a novel and like it and then sometime after that a film version is released, i will often watch it. however, i don't usually seek out adaptations that were released before i read the novel. (exceptions where i read a book and then looked for film adaptations that already existed: i did seek out film adaptations of the count of monte-cristo (though sadly i still haven't found the french miniseries that sounded so interesting). and i've watched several adaptations of jane austen's novels.) so i probably won't watch the name of the rose movie unless i hear something specific about it that intrigues me.
in general, i'd rather read the book before watching the movie, but i don't take this to the level of refusing to watch a movie if i haven't read the book yet. i'm trying to think if there are any cases where i watched a movie and liked it and then sought out the book, and the only one that's coming to mind is reading volumes of the natsuyuu manga after having watched the anime. which just tells you how much i love natsuyuu!
#what an interesting question! i never really realized how strong this pattern is for me#like i knew that i prefer books and that i have watched a lot of film adaptations of books that i like but i didn't realize#a) that i almost never go back in time to see if any adaptations were released from BEFORE i had read the book#and b) the only time in the last six years (according to my spreadsheet) that i've watched something first#and then gone back to read the source material is natsuyuu#(i guess i also read the first volume of ranma 1/2 after watching the anime but that was only bc it was a french translation)#asks#not anon#books#film#thank you for the ask <3 very thought-provoking!!#have you watched the name of the rose movie? would you recommend it?
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i cant write that fic for real btw because that would mean charles would replace dj and i cant do that to my baby girl
#but we can imagine how that fic would go. extra practices to work through plays etc that end up with charles and pierre up close & personal#they have an easy natural chemistry that presents like friendship until pierre makes a dirty joke to him in the shower and charles cant sto#thinking about it because it....makes his dick jump a little (he's so grateful for the barriers between the showers he'd never live it down#suddenly their ''chemistry'' feels different because charles wants to kiss pierre. or wants pierre to kiss him. and nothing on the field#changes but this is BIGGER than on the field which means charles is twisted inside-out thinking about how his desire is presenting.#meanwhile pierre is off doing like. the espn body issue. being involved in sexy/scandalous ad campaigns#and it's driving charles up the WALL!! because he can't say anything genuinely. he can joke about it though. bc that's safe.#so maybe he makes a passing joke tease/comment that pierre realizes is flirting and after practice he corners charles in the film room#and is like ''did you like my shoot?'' or w/e but he's so close that charles knows he's not just asking to be a tease. so he doesn't answer#and pierre kisses him a moment later so it's not even like he'd have a chance to give a serious response anyway#but i digress. they make out for the first time in the dark of the film room with last week's game tape playing low-volume behind them
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oh man. did i tell you guys my dad is a sci-fi author
#hes not super mega famous or anything but hes written. many books#<-- forgot the exact number#he also isnt doing too bad in terms of social media followers#i remembered bc of somethign i was gonna say in my last post#as an example of my family taking turns being an obnoxious dork so everyone else can act like theyre suffering#basically every year just after thanksgiving#my family puts up the christmas tree and decorates it etc#and my parents always take a bunch of pictures of us decorating etc#so my mom goes to take a picture of me. and my dad jumps into frame to do a stupid pose holding the star topper above his head#and i of course cringe really hard (played up of course - i have lived with my father for all 18 years of my life and am unfazed)#so now every year we recreate that picture#but#the original picture went on the be the cover of#[casually checks his amazon]#a whole series#(3 individual books + a collection of all 3 in 'one handy volume')#it's a version cropped to only contain his face + it's covered in a wall of brightly colored text#but it's there#i cant decide whether to mention his name bc#i dont mind my tiny following knowing who my dad is#but if his notably larger following finds my blog. no thank you#if he joins tumblr ill rb from him for the bit but uh. my dad's name is insider exclusive knowledge#for people who are so desperate for scifi content that theyd dm a random mcyt blogger about it#(also yes he may join tumblr. hes been asking me about how it works n shit)#his entire marketing strategy is to be a massive dork btw#he says it himself - he goes on twitter or tiktok and just acts like an idiot#and people think hes funny#i also think hes funny but dont tell him that#and he just makes sure to regularly mention his books/direct people to his page where he keeps links to his books#okay i have to get ready for a party im going to im gonna stop talking about my nerdass dad now
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up next on chapter 36 of idol sengen… _(:3 」∠)_
#(my toxic trait is that i’ll complain about my work endlessly but still end up doing it anyway… eventually.)#there’s rant 1 (ft. a need to deduce what asuna is saying in full) and rant 2 (which is available in full but still…)#there’s also another mona-rambling session in chapter 38… that im not touching with a 50 foot pole#(all you need to know for that mona-rambling [about frusu] is that mona’s frusu oshi is all of them)#(and that she thinks miyu is like *the* pinnacle of centres in idol groups)#(also someone won a junior dance competition but idk who bc it’s obscured lmao)#can i outsource these panels for a corn chip lmaoooo#m. maybe i should’ve actually worked on this while i was still unemployed last month huh…#bc excuse me company wdymmmmmm im starting work next monday?? the interview was just this monday hello?#ig the interviewer was legit when she said ‘so if i asked you if you can start work next monday—’ huh…#sigh… maybe ch 36 next month then… i’ll do my best over the weekend thoughhhhh#seriously though why is this volume so text heavy l m a o i really wanna get to chapter 40 but…#and then there’s the hard to clean text boxes which… aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#…though i guess i should just count myself lucky that the chapters are still short enough to fit into a single post (with the image limits)#but dang. i just realised that my manga sengen thing has a page on manga updates lmao#who put it there lmaooooo and why is it only up till vol 2? wait. no. what. why does it link to manga.dex#bc dang. someone really had the time to dl the thing image by image? no wonder why they stopped after vol 2…#guess i might as well say why i dont want people to reupload my tls… since we’re in the final stretch and all#so. aside from the obvious ‘idw the creators to find out about it’… i probably made a ton of mistakes while tling it. esp in the early chaps#so i’d like to. y’know. have the chance to update the tls where possible. i’ve done that a couple of times already tbh.#like with rippei’s name post-vol 4 release. and some of the typesetting is p. gross in the early chaps tbvh#i swear tling idol sengen has made me incredibly conscious of grammar and typesetting like you wouldnt believe#esp with official tls… fan tls will always be perfect to me no matter how wonky the wording bc it’s hard but honest work yk#official tls (esp a.i tls) get no concessions from me bc it’s their job that they’re getting paid to do yk.#in any case (if you’ve read this far) if you see any mistakes in the tl please lemme know~~~ please dont hold back on your criticisms ok~~~?#just sound ‘em out in dms here or sth. don’t worry~~~ i won’t eat y’all if you try to correct me~~~~~ unless you’re the md reuploader (jk)#and ik i disabled comments on the other blog (or tried to at least) but that’s bc idw bots to flood the comments bc that’s annoying as he—#anyways sorry for the idol sengen wait (if anyone was waiting for it…) i’ll improve on my work ethic… tomorrow. maybe.
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guy who speedran the vocal melody for a second cover in 1 day cause theyre gonan be gone all weekend with no computer............
#i havw to help my mom sell at renfaire so i cant work on anything while im out..... cant even draw.............. its ok though...........#i do want to use my own bank on this but after previewing it w my old bank its like. mm probably not that one#its a tripitch with limited range and inconsistent volume and bad pronunciation and real bad noise (might clear that out sometime though)#honestly my pronunciation now probably still isnt gonna be the best but what ever..............#the old bank is definitely charming since i dont have that tone anymore but its also hard to work with. i had an old venom cover i might#finish with it sometime though!! its really just a matter of finding songs around the A3-E4 range bc it can't go much beyond that#i might have to record a new bank when i get back caaaaaause the old bank is. so crusty. its been 5 years it might be time#my range is wider now! unfortunately that also means! more otoing! so i need to learn to use setparam now#(i did not know it existed when i make my last bank so that one has never been fully otoed) (woops)#ideally E3 to D5 which would mean 5-6 pitches. whic is gonna suck a little to record so thatll probably be multiple sessions urgh#probably going 5 because past that might kill me but more would definitely Sound Better..#spooksposting
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genuinely tho me jumping right into reading volume 9 of trimax and then volume 10 (and then most of the rest of the manga) on the night before i had a presentation at 9:30 am (that was entirely not prepared) was literally one of the most unhinged decisions ive ever made
this is what a hyperfixation does to a person
#speculation nation#like that experience was transcendent. i will NEVER be repeating it again but it sure was something#crying 5 times in a night chugging my monster perusing the wolfwood tag tearfully as i listen to the same sad song on repeat for an hour#struggling to get myself to work on the presentation but continuously going back to the manga bc it was SOOO GOOOD#me being like 'im gonna need a few days to process and heal' after reading volume 10 but then after an hour just. starting reading more.#gettign only 2 hours of sleep bc i was like 'ok i need to recover from crying Five Times and then i will focus entirely on this'#literally what is wrong with me lmfao. this sure was something.#this was literally just last week. i can hardly believe it.#this happened on tuesday/wednesday. i spent wednesday recovering. then on thursday i was like 'ok time to write'#there was hardly ANY wait time before i jumped into my next writing project#bc i had the idea after volume 10 but waited until i finished the manga to see where would be the best time to implement it#& that shit with the plants was the PERFECT time. i knew as soon as it happened that That was what i was gonna use.#wrote chapter 1 within a day (while working) then chapter 2 within a day (while working)#then chapter 3 within 2 days (while working AND doing family stuff)#guys i havent had a proper day off of work in over a week bc i covered on tuesday and came in on wednesday and covered on sunday#uhm. sunday before yesterday. i think my last day off was actually uh. the thursday before? a week and a half ago.#and im not getting a day off until thursday. two whole goddamned weeks. i am having a fucking time for sure.#and what do you know that coincides with The Time. oh i dont think it was even thursday. when the fuck was my last day off#uhmmm. oh haha it was that tuesday. aka the 18th. i havent had a goddamned day off since the 18th.#head in my hands. i am losing my fucking mind.#literally unhinged. and it makes sooo much sense now lmfao.
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