#bc I literally couldn’t choose between all of these options

[valewritessss]

Say what you want about thinking Percy only remembered Annabeth because Hera left her in his memory but for the love of everything just let people have their romantic little headcanon

[k0yaz]

Bro the first time I played ddlc (w no prior knowledge) I was so confused about why I couldn’t romance monika 😭

I literally repeated the first chapter so many times just because I was confused on why I couldn’t spend time w her compared to the others.

Pls drop either hc’s or a one shot abt this happening and Monika’s reaction.

Preferably w an afab reader but GN/amab is also cool

agony of her solitude.

Pairings: monika x fem!reader

CW: sfw, female reader, spoilers for ddlc obviously, short baby fic, horror themes, monika being scary bc she’s awesome like that, mostly written from monika’s possible perspective so it’s not how I feel about the characters it’s how she saw them mid game I think, possessive themes, a little unhealthy but this is monika in the original ddlc not ddlc plus so she only cares about the person behind the screen, pre act 3 monika, not proofread.

A/N: HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT I ACTUALLY GOT A DDLC REQUEST I HAVE BEEN WAITING A WHOLE YEAR FOR THIS IM GONNA EAT MY PILLOW RAHHAHHSDBDB also why would I write amab reader no offense to the guys reading my thing but I’m so fucking fruity for the whole literature club idfk under what conditions I’d write amab reader anyway THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING DDLC 🕯️

Various tabs of the console filled Monika’s vision, a perplexed look crossing her face as she stared at the files counting your replays. Her chin rested between her thumb and forefinger, pondering why you had looped the first chapter over and over, confusion racking her mind as she continued to search for a possibility. Perhaps your game glitched? Or the code wasn’t working properly?

“Why does she keep repeating the first act..? There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with the script..” she muttered under her breath, clicking her tongue in mild frustration. Reaching up, her fingers gently swiped along the console, trying to view all the recorded replays of the first act in a desperate attempt to seek the root cause of your game loops.

Monika intently traced the the contents of the digital code, reflections of the binary patterns and script mirroring into her emerald green eyes with each tap into a different file. Each movement of your mouse seemed…off. Your clicker would often stray off to the side, deviating from the displayed choices of Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri, while tracing it up and down as if you longed to find an alternate option.

She merely squinted her eyes at the replay of your mistakenly mindless gameplay, tilting her head in confusion as this pattern was repeated and prevalent across all your replays of the first chapter. That was until she stumbled across a particular point into your gameplay, her own body growing somewhat tensed as the repeated choice reflected across every replay of Act 1. Every single time. Monika paused for a brief moment, unsure on whether to feel elated, or confused in that moment as her hand rested onto her chest and clutched the fabric code of her blazer.

She wasn’t just getting her hopes up..right?

The choices presented themselves before you on the screen once more, depicting all four of the literature club members’ names in seperate pink boxes. Even after returning to this moment constantly, you remained utterly confused, eyes fixated on your screen with your pupils drilling into the pixels like a deer in headlights.

You felt fairly disoriented from the little chime noise emitting from the game every time your mouse hovered over one of the boxes, inching your face closer to the screen illuminating your face and splaying streams of light all across your desk. Your expression contorted to one of mild annoyance, brows furrowing and wrinkling your face up as you could only feel your shaky palm gripped atop the mouse. Why couldn’t you choose Monika? Why on earth were you restricted to the three girls you didn’t show any interest in?

Clicking on her name once more, you were met with the same dialogue spewing out of the line of text in game. That it wasn’t necessary to help her prepare for the festival. It was completely incomprehensible as to why this game wasn’t allowing to choose the route of the character you had your eyes on, making you scoff as a wave of irritation continued to bite at you.

Monika’s eyes widened upon seeing each brisk movement of your mouse, carefully examining how it clicked on her name each and every time it popped onto the screen as an available option. The script of the game barred her from having a route path, on top of that bestowing a near god like power within this digital world she was coded into. It was torture. The flashing colored lights burned her skull, the endless piercing screeches shattering through her ears as she was discarded into the void. Only knowing that she was trapped in a fictional world, believing she was the only one who was real.

A near unnerving smile stretched her lips, pursing them shut to mask her boiling excitement. You had been her only escape. Every time you opened up the game, she was freed from the agony of her solitude. Monika’s hands rested along the edges of the console, breathing out a content sigh. Her eyes flickered to your mouse jittering in possible frustration from the lack of response to choosing her once more, warmth seeping into her heart as she longed to snatch you to herself right then and there.

Ah. She had someone who actually desired her presence. Someone who wanted to spend time with her. No worries, (Name). You’ll be hers before long. Just be patient.

She snapped back to the game, her face seemingly more lit up, yet her sprite kept it as still as a rock as she stared straight into the screen. Her sprite was there while she tweaked the console and spoke to herself, but maybe she could finally rest for once. She could rest easy and let you play knowing you’re only set on her. Monika smiled to herself, hands grasping her elbows as she glanced over her statue of a sprite standing in for her there.

Her gaze over the protagonist made her nearly scoff from annoyance. His sprite repulsed her. Everyone else could have that piece of trash separating you from her. Monika only wondered to herself how gorgeous your complexion could be once she gets the chance to lay eyes upon you in person. If only she could crawl through the screen and wrap her arms around your neck in an embrace to feel your warmth.

It was only a matter of time. She just had to wait for you to reach the third act, and you were all hers.

“Don’t worry, (Name). Just wait a little longer and play through the game. You’ll be with me soon enough.”

A/N: I LOVE THIS I LOVE DDLC OH MY GOD IVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR THIS YOU DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS GAME IVE NEVER LEFT MY DDLC PHASE AND I LOVE MONIKA SHE ATE FRFR

anyway this was fun to write :)

[korraofthereef]

SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE AN EDIT OF TIMEBOMB TO “Not a lot, just forever” by Adrianne Lenker AND ILL LITERALLY GIVE YOU THE EXACT WAY TO EDIT IT I DON’F EVEN NEED CREDITS I JUST WANNA SEE IT

Not a lot, just forever

honestly this part is optional but I feel like the audio is too much of a kickstart to start with the line below

And your dearest fantasy

stick with me on this. So it’ll be Ekko heaving and conflicted in this scene:

For the entire duration of the lyrics until it’ll transition into the next set of lyrics where… (continue reading under the next lyric)

Is to grow a baby in me

it’ll tradition to Jinx’s face in that scene also for the entire duration of this set of lyrics:

Then slowly fading into the next scene of… (continue reading under the next lyric)

I could be // a good mother

(For the “I could be” part)

Isha running towards Jinx when Vi is abt to kill her (!)

(Now for the “a good mother” part)

Jinx holding onto/trying to push away Isha when held under Vi’s fist.

So the faces are like a parallel of scenes. I would have really liked for the clip shown directly above of Jinx holding Isha to come right after the scene of Jinx on the ground after fight Ekko because then the parallels would’ve matched better but the edit needed more clip transitions and more clarification so it’s kind of a must with this order. So if y’all could maybe make it very clear it’s supposed to be referencing a parallel that would be amazing (!)

And I wanna be your wife

For every syllable we’re gonna transition to a different scene with young Powder and Ekko specifically with these scenes in this order:

I tried my best to explain the syllables=scenes lmao

So I // hold you // to // my knife

(For the “so I // hold you” part)

We’ll start with the quick panning from one scene to another because the lyrics go by quick in this part of the song—so we’ll start with the scene of Jinx holding her gun during “So I” before cutting to Ekko standing there all angry during “Hold you”

(Now for the “to // my knife” part)

The reason I separated the lyric is because “to” drags on for about the same amount of time “my knife” is sang for. So it’ll be the part where Ekko is charging at Jinx with his board and stealing the hex orb thing, then quickly panning to the part where Ekko is getting the upper hand in the fight as he leaps towards Jinx.

Kind of like the first part of the entire lyric block where thy change scenes in between the double slash mark (//)

…also I know all of the clips in this part are very out of order from the actually scene in the show but it needs to be like this in order for a complete poetic masterpiece…

And I steal // your letter

(For the “and I steal” part)

Nowwwww is where Ekko will be looking up at the mural of Powder in the Firelight Base because it’s supposed to be sort of suggesting that he stole one last memory of Powder:

(Now for the “your letter” part)

This is just the second half of the explanation above. It’s just the mural y’all. And honestly, use whatever clip of the mural you want like you could use the one where it’s zoomed in on Powder’s face, or you could use the one where it’s a wide shot that captures Ekko and Vi in the frame.

This is obviously the close up on Powder on the mural,(which is preferred) but honestly if you guys are going through the trouble of making this edit then choose whatever clip for this part bc I’m eternally grateful.

Not a lot // just forever

Because I’m running out of the amount of photos I can add to a post, I’ll merge both side of the double slash lyric scene separation (//) into one photo for explanation

The top clip of young Powder and Ekko will be running for the duration of “Not a lot” and then after that lyric has passed, then the bottom scene of them fighting it out as their older selves in real time will play for the duration of the lyrics “Just forever”

Intertwine // some together

I couldn’t really choose one parallel scene from the finale fight because there’s so many so you guys just take your pick from the groups.

P.S. the scene on the top with the the one playing during “Intertwine” and the scene connected on the bottom half with be the one playing during “Some together”

(I’ll repost with the final photo bc I’m at my photo limit 😭)

ANYWHOOOOO

I was thinking that all the clips should start with high velocity and then quickly move into slow motion for the clips especially because they’re short clips and they’ll go quickly… yeah if you don’t understand what I mean, I guess what I’m trying to say is make it twixtor and then speed it up at the beginning so it’s like smoothing transitioning Ykwim??

Feel fully entitled to transition the clips however you want, you can fade into other clips for more drama idk. Just suggesting slo-mo clips because the scene are short 👍

[italeean]

HI ELLE! CONGRATS ON THE FOLLOWER MILESTONE 💖💖💖

And this event sounds so fun so I had to send in something (no pressure ofc ^-^)

Description: I literally had to go around asking my friends to describe me bc I couldn’t think of much besides that I’m an introvert and pessimistic about myself lmao. So from the intel I’ve gathered: I’m shy, friendly, kind, care a lot about those closest to me, and worry too much about things. My interests are pretty boring, all I do is play videogames (mainly rhythm games nowadays) and watch anime occassionally, although I can get very passionate about them. I don’t have much of a preference to the people I surround myself with, as long as they can handle my more reserved nature and respect my boundaries.

I am a lee leaning switch :3

And I’d like to choose genshin impact as the fandom. I started playing not too long ago and it’s been my new hyperfixation.

With a romantic relationship with a male character!

Oh and my name is Sakura!🌸

I hope I did this correctly kahdjahdjahsh

Have a good day/night‼ And take your time!

Sakuraaa 🥹💕 After months of inactivity, I'm taking back the reins of this event and I'm more than ready to match you up with your special someone hehe ✨️ Thanks for your patience, e spero ti piaccia il mio lavoro 💚🤍❤️ (and I hope you'll enjoy my work) 🍡 *hands you the dango to eat while you read*

🔮 Without further ado, your match is... KAZUHA

🔮 Why did I choose him for you?

1. You say you're pessimistic about yourself, and this little ray of sunshine is the perfect way to bring some light in 2. He's delicate and soft-spoken, which won't make you feel overwhelmed by endless talking 3. He's super perceptive, which means he'll understand how you're feeling without you having to tell him, which can be hard sometimes when you're an introvert 4. If you play rhythm games, he might play a tune with leaves to match the rhythm you're playing in the game! That would be so cute... 5. Even he's usually a ray of sunshine, he can have his bad days, especially when he thinks about Tomo, and you'd be able to support him quietly thanks to your personality and your emotional baggage 6. Kazuha is a generally quiet person, so expect many, MANY successful sneak attacks... and if your sides or ribs are sensitive, you'll be in for a bumpy ride 7. He's the personification of gentleness, so he'd be sure to inquire about your boundaries without you even needing to tell him anything 8. He likes the sound of your laughter even more of the song of the wind between the leaves, so tickling you is one of his favorite ways to "bring some light into your pessimism" 9. I feel like he'd LOVE to blow some air into your ears or pepper kisses on your neck if those spots are sensitive 10. He also does mind a few pokes if he needs to be cheered up... and if you do that to get his attention, he'll get the hint and proceed to tickle you as much as you'd like!

🔮 Tickle scenario

Kazuha couldn't ask for a better morning than this. Azure sky with some fluffy white clouds, the music of nature made by the wind that caresses the leaves, lying on the grass in silence with his eyes closed...

... and you.

You and him had started dating a few months ago. He was the best thing that had ever happened in your life, and he thought the same about you. You two didn't need loud love, your relationship could be compared to a warm, soft cocoon. You expressed your feelings through little gestures and by being there for each other.

Unless you were bored.

Don't get me wrong, Kazuha loved every aspect of you, but when you were bored, you were quite the handful. Little pranks, pokes, silly jokes... you would try everything to distract him, and that's what you wanted in that exact moment.

Calling him was an amazing option, since he was a samurai with an astounding control of all his senses, but where was the fun in that? You surely could do much better, so you got up, making as little noise as possible, and approached him with your hands shaped in claws ready to attack.

His eyes were still closed, perfect. You just needed to attack. 3... 2... 1... Now!

Or so you thought...

As soon as your fingertips came in contact with his ribcage, you felt something gripping your wrists and in a fraction of second, you were on the grass, facing the blue sky and a white-haired guy with an ominous smirk that you had learned to fear.

"Were you trying to wake me up, love?" He asked in a sweet tone mixed with a hint of playfulness, "Alas, your reflexes seem a little sluggish, like a lethargic bear cub." He tsked with no annoyance in his voice, just a little mocking.

"Maybe you're the one who needs a little awakening, aren't you, little cub?"

Before you could make up even the faintest argument to object, his hands started zapping your sides with ruthlessly, relentlessly and with the meticulous precision provided by the knowledge of every single spot that made you squeak, squeal or even snort.

"Ka- wahahahait nooo..!" You begged, but your pleas fell on deaf ears, as the tickle assault only increased in intensity. You attempted to swat his hands away, but that was futile as well. His reflexes were much faster than yours.

"Not good, your reflexes don't show any sign of awakening yet. Such a lazy little cub..." He joked, enjoying the blush that invaded your cheeks because of the nickname, "Do we really need to take extreme measures to make the lazy cub arise?"

Your eyes widened in shock and glee, and your laughter became much more nervous. "No no nohoho w-we dohohon't... we don't need to..! Please we do-" Not even Kazuha's refined lexicon had a term to define the high pitch of your scream, and the samurai knew this was his stop signal.

He raised his hands and helped you sit up while you were gasping for air, using his Anemo vision to create a gentle, refreshing breeze for you.

When you recovered, you looked at him with a gaze that meant war and pronounced the words: "I swear to the Seven Archons, I'll get you back."

Your warmongering glare was met with a smug, playful one. "Come at me then, cub, and show me your awakened reflexes" He chuckled, getting ready for a day full of combat.

[kamiversee]

I'm in tears. The way Choso says the reader makes him feel wanted... That's heartbreaking considering she literally can't choose between him and another guy who's done so much to hurt her. That one chapter when he says he hopes he can be enough for her to want him and only him ... yet he still feels wanted?

Just goes to show how this man has experienced no love at all. The fact that he's even an option is enough to make him feel wanted??? God. I was so down bad for her ending up with Choso but honestly, he deserves so much better than her.

I'm so conflicted. Don't wanna break pookie's heart but fr he needs a better girl. But still god, can't have reader ending up with Gojo. I am team sugupoo at this point. She doesn't deserve Choso. Not that any of it is really her fault, but he deserves better than all this drama.

Mini yap sess:

1. I get wym but while she can’t choose between two guys, note that Choso had a father who also couldn’t chose between his two women. After being raised in such a way, it doesn’t bother Choso as much as you may think it would.

What bothered Choso about having competition was how said competition spurred onto him— he takes a break from the girl he likes and when he’s back, it felt like she was trying to replace him almost

It’s slight but Choso feels like because he’s even an option in the first place, that says she wants him. Also, before she arrived at the cafe, she did tell him she was thinking about becoming his gf so yes, he feels wanted ^.^

2. Idk if we can say she’s all that bad to begin with? Aside from the way she overlooks Gojo’s red flags and instead has compassion for that man, the reader is simply a product of her environment.

The very fact that she doesn’t see Gojo as a villain even after all he’s done is simply another thing Choso would probably like about her. Think about how Yuji still smiles even through what he deals with :)

3. He does deserve a woman without the drama but said drama isn’t her fault at the end of the day so to push Choso away bc of something she couldn’t even control is actually rather sad for her especially since she’s always found peace in Choso :/

HELP I SAID MINI YAP SESS AND ENDED UP GIVING A NORMAL ONE😭😭

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

https://www.tumblr.com/twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat/742399552248840192

To answer your question as to who mari would be in this I raise you two options: if you were to make a sashisu x reader omori au (including nanami and haibara) reader could either be mari OR…. reader could be basil…bc imagine the survivors guilt😭😭

ANON????????? YOU’RE LITERALLY INSANE?????? YOU CAN’TTTTTTT DROP SUCH A BIGBRAINED CONCEPT IN MY ASK BOX AND EXPECT ME TO BE FINE 😭😭😭😭😭

no because this ask has been haunting me since i saw it ………. the potential here………… we’re gonna have to Discuss this. in depth. anon take my hand 🤲 hold it tight so we don’t lose each other in the brain rot

first of all SASHISU X READER OMORI AU ARE YOU INSANE??????? THAT’S SOOOO GOOD WHAT….. u little genius why do i lowkey wanna write this now 😞

okay so . this is just me spitballing …. but …… what if. omori!shoko… kel!haibara……. basil!gojo….. aubrey!nanami and hero!sugu🤔🤔🤔 what do we think anon. honestly i just got kind of attached to shoko being omori but i could see sugu taking that role too !! still, he reminds me a lot of hero :(( the guilt he feels…. all that leftover love for mari that he tries to turn into something good by becoming a doctor…..,,,, the way he returns to keep the group stable. it just makes sense to me!! i feel like he would bear the most guilt over reader’s death, blaming himself for not noticing anything… :(( he absolutely hasn’t moved past it but he’s trying so hard to keep himself intact.

and honestly nanami and haibara are kinda self-explanatory… haibara is Literally kel and emo nana reminds me a lot of aubrey !! i could see him being so attached to reader as a child and just being so angry over it all yk???? lashing out at everyone. he loved them so dearly and saw them as an older sibling and he can’t stand the idea of moving on from any of it.

and ohhhhh basil!gojo…….. he’s so. so so so guilty. so terrified of everyone leaving him. this is one i’m a lil unsure abt but i can still see it yk??? him and shoko bearing all this silent guilt, keeping it from suguru…… gojo being so attached to you but choosing to bear the guilt along with shoko… because he’s The Strongest and he couldn’t let her bear that kind of sin alone . DO WE SEE THE VISION……….,

ok but alternatively….., sugu is omori and shoko is hero 👀👀👀👀 sugu who shuts himself away from the guilt …… represses it ………. gojo who bears the sin of reader’s death along with him. because they’re best friends who share everything. and shoko being the glue that keeps them together in a way… that shows up when things get ugly…. hero being a doctor is also so fitting. and her silent suffering over reader’s death that she doesn’t let anyone see……,.,,,, shoko/reader canon idc

and then obv the final confrontation between sugu and gojo……, sugu and himself…….. ”you loved her and you killed her.” I FEEL ILLLLLL tbh this version feels so much more fitting 😭😭😭 omori!shoko still has a special place in my heart tho. but just imagine the final battle between sugu and gojo… letting go of their guilt when they see each other in the hospital ….., sighhhhh. this au makes me so emotional T_T

[ameliora-j]

Aaron Hotchner finally took a page outta Rossi's book and got with a black woman and his life was forever changed. He always felt like there was something missing, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. He talked to Rossi about it one day and he told him that he'd been in his shoes before meeting his second wife. Hotch took it with a grain of salt before a chance encounter had him revisiting the conversation. Everything was different for him from the first conversation and she made everything better for him. Vibes? Leveled up. Music taste? Leveled up. Casual styles? Leveled up. He already had BDE before her, but she took him to a whole new level and he worships the ground she walks on. He dotes on her and is super soft with her, but when it's time to do it (😏) he's rough, but gentle. He's slutted her out a few times though, she didn't know how big of a freak he was until they finally got super comfortable in their sexual relationship. Long story short, he's a whore, but only for his princess 🥰 (sorry that was so long lol)

DO NOT EVER BE SORRY I’VE BEEN FUCKING WAITING FOR THIS ONE

content: spicy (no smut but suggestive), mainly fluff though!!

he’s so so respectful and he honestly didn’t think much would come of it when rossi set him up with you. the both of you went into this blind date thinking that maybe you’d have a new friend or perhaps a hookup but not much else. but the second that aaron hotchner laid eyes on you, he was a goner. you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever set his eyes upon.

he couldn’t help but stare at your lips as you spoke, and he was completely enamored with every single one of your features. he makes sure to tell you that every chance he gets, too. he loves to learn new things about your culture and what all the slang means. you giggle everytime you use an aave term and he gives you a clueless little “what’s that mean?”

he pays for your hair!! sugar daddy!hotch is my favorite hotch! all he asks is that you send him 3 options to choose from and he sends you the money for it. and then when you come home, he greets you with a gentle “can i touch it…?”

teaching him your wash day routine and eventually he becomes so well versed in it that you let him do it when you’re too tired or to lazy too. eventually he starts memorizing how long you go in between wash days and asking if he can do it for you and it quickly becomes his favorite time to spend with you.

helps you take down all of your protective styles and is just so so gentle with it. when you’re cuddling and you’re head is on his chest, you constantly worry that your hair is in his way (when it’s out natural). always self consciously saying “i’m sorry, i know my hair gets in the way and trying to smooth it down.”

he just shushes you and gently grabs your wrist muttering “stop that, it’s beautiful” as he kisses your hair.

THE BDE AND THE STYLE CHANGE ABSOLUTELY. aaron is already a dilf there’s no question. but once you start dating him? he ditches the t-shirts and polos, you get him a nice silver chain that he constantly has on and help him up his shoe game. you have millions and millions of matching pairs of sneakers (paid for by his credit card ofc bc he’ll be damned if he lets you spend a single cent on absolutely anything).

you are first and foremost a strong independent black woman who doesn’t need a man, and aaron absolutely respects that,, but when you’re with him? you’re a spoiled princess and he won’t hear anything else. he’s literally the only one that can both tolerate and fix your attitude.

say you’re used to toxic relationships and arguments, so immediately in a disagreement you start with the push back and the yelling and the attitude. aaron let’s you rant and vent and scream at him and then j looks at you with a raised brow and asks “are you done? cus i’m prepared to have a conversation and work this out when you are sweetheart.”

or or or or smth petty like you’re j annoyed with the whole day and you snap at him? within seconds he squeezing your jaw and glaring down at you asking “who the fuck do you think you’re talking to like that?” you lose the confidence quick as you squeak put a quick apology.

rossi starts to notice the changes in aaron. in his attitude, his style, the way he carries himself. rossi just leans over to him and chuckles out an ‘i told you so.’

aaron makes a mental note to thank david as the two of you are laid in bed, he’s putting your hair up into your bonnet and dragging you to his chest to watch a movie—jack snuggling up between you guys when he finishes up getting ready for bedtime.

aaron hotchner belongs to the black women if you think otherwise smd

[cinnamonest]

Since people actually liked it here's the continuation of the modern Xiao camgirl!darling post I cut from the original, as promised, most if it's under a cut. Here’s the original post. I didn’t think people would actually like the camgirl concept so I thought I was rambling too much and cut this part out lol but here it is now!

Tws: derogatory language/female slurs, mentions of reader being a cheater, reader is promiscuous, murder, incel-y mentality (our modern boy would be a 4chan user, look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong) and mentions of upsetting realistic things, this one's darker than the first part. If you're bothered by other modern stuff for being too realistic best avoid this too probably, involuntary pornography ---------- Coming up on one year since you gained your most loyal subscriber, you get a rather... Unsettling request. He has something he would like this month, in fact, he adds a few hundred to the regular amount (he's been saving up just for this) and asks for just the answer to one simple question. What's your name?

Your real name, he clarifies. He doesn't need a last name, nothing like that. It would just... Make him feel closer to you. He avoids using the term "anniversary," even though that's what comes to mind. He also doesn't tell you that he already knows, that this is just a test of your honesty. For someone who's so cautious, you would think you would think to give a fake name whenever you go to coffee shops for them to yell out, or change it on the packages you get. You hesitate. And it would be easy to give him a fake one, yet, you don't really think about it too much, you kinda think about that as an afterthought, what you should have done, but your very real name is typed out and sent before you really process it, and you feel a sort of unease, but it's already sent. No big deal. He can't do much with just your first name, right? If your name is common, you feel pretty safe, but even if it's a rarer one, surely there are other people with it, right? He's happy though. Kinda surprised, really, that you didn't lie to him. Maybe you trust him?

You're not stupid, you know something is wrong, you're becoming paranoid. And you connect the weird feeling to him, bc he goes radio silence for several days leading up to finally taking you. This dude who used to respond to any messages you sent within 10 seconds suddenly... It's like he disappeared? He hasn't responded to anything you send him ever since you said your name. You send him messages saying you haven't heard from him in a while and you're worried... The way you word it makes it sound like you're worried about him, but you both know that's not what you really mean. You're hesitant and suspicious of every guy you meet. You buy pepper spray and start carrying some around, you nearly spray a poor guy who you thought was trailing you, turns out he just lives in your building. He makes note of it. He watched you buy it, and is quick to realize you always hold it in the same hand. That must be your dominant hand, that's an important mental note for the future, since you're more likely to try to attack him with that hand. He'll remember. He has a note in his phone with information like that. Height, weight, birthday, social security number, parents' names, school she graduated from. All in little bullet points. He adds dominant hand to the list. He's not worried at all really. Already watched you struggle to carry packages he could lift with one hand, your strength doesn't cross his mind as a threat. At first he just doesn't know what to say, and that's why he stops responding, he feels too awkward but... He starts to enjoy the weird feeling of power the whole situation is giving him. You're worried, you're constantly paranoid, and it's because of him. Now you finally understand the same feeling you inflict on him, how you consume his thoughts every waking moment of every day. It used to irritate him that you held so much power over him, while he meant nothing to you. Now, the tables have turned. You're forced to have him constantly in your mind, whether you like it or not, just like you are in his. It's giving you what you deserve. It gives him a feeling of significance. He matters, even if it's not in a good way. And he keeps telling himself that once he's all you have, he'll matter even more. He's smart enough to realize that if you're paranoid, you might have mentioned him by username to someone else, so to ensure he knows what to do from this point, he has to sneak into your apartment at night as you sleep. It's so unbearably tempting, you have no idea -- you're right there and so vulnerable. He has to hold himself back because he knows that if he so much as touched you, he couldn't hold back. But it's torture, standing there so close, watching your chest rise and fall as he fiddles with the phone. Even when he unlocks it with your thumb, he tries to hold the phone from an angle to do so, even if the skin of his hand grazes yours, it would be too much. You have a lot of contacts across your messages and a bunch of different apps. You have one guy in your online chat you've exchanged far more messages with than anyone else! Hundreds upon hundreds of messages, and huge paypal cash drops, who the hell is -- oh, wait, that's him. Nevermind. But, to his pleasant surprise, he's the only one of your... customers that you regularly talk to, the rest just have a few paypal notifications or clarifications on your policies, but no actual conversations like you have with him. Of course, that's literally part of your deal, he's literally paying for it, but it makes him happy nonetheless. But as he goes through your personal messages, he finds that you are... in no shortage of options. Like, holy shit. It was kind of expected. You *are* really pretty, that's how you have so many followers after all, but this is a lot. So many contacts named some variation of "DO NOT ANSWER!!!" or "creepy guy that forced me to give him my number at the club", etc etc. Plenty of unsaved numbers texting you to never get a response. You've ghosted enough dudes to make your place haunted. It's... kinda awful, really. It also kinda hurts his heart a bit more than he expected. You have so, so, so many options, even without the cam thing, he's more insignificant than he even realized. ...Well, for now, at least. He'll be significant to you soon enough. And then you seem to have a sort of "boyfriend of the month" deal going on, aside from that. Plenty of male-name contacts whose last exchange is a "don't talk to me again!" message from you, plenty of messages corresponding to the same time as those to your girl friends about how you can't find a good guy and every relationship ends badly. How unfortunate. See, it's because you choose bad guys. You probably go for dicks and not.... well, he can't exactly pull the "nice guys like me" mentality, he doesn't delude himself into thinking he is one. He's lucid enough to realize that most nice guys would not be sneaking into your house and standing over your sleeping body to stalk your phone as they make plans to kidnap you. He knows he would probably fall under the classification of a creepy guy. He's just too far gone to care. Still, he would be so much better to you, he tells himself, not a cheater or a player like you complain about. To say he resents those kinds of guys -- ones that can do the unthinkable and actually talk to girls, let alone successfully, only to be assholes, and yet girls like you still go for them -- is an understatement. You're basically just a slut, you probably ignore all the guys that would be nice to you, just like all those internet forums he reads talk about. Typical.

Well, those forums also make fun of guys like him who pay for girls like you, but he can't blame them. It *is* kinda pathetic. There is one dude you talk to, though, now. Current boyfriend of the month, from the looks of it. You have a little heart emoji next to the name. He knows it's kinda pathetic that something so simple and insignificant sets him off, but it does, makes him pout and grind his teeth and curl his other hand into a fist. It's so unfair. Some dude you barely know gets to fuck you, and you haven't even known him nearly as long as you've known him! He doubts this dude -- hell, any of your boyfriends -- has put in the same amount of money that he has into you. They fuck you practically for free. And that, unfortunately for you, only solidifies his decision. If you're fucking some dude for a month because they buy you dinner every now and then, if we're going by that scale, then you owe him quite a good deal of pussy. Any hesitancy or guilt he had about the whole thing is gone. And he's a little mad. Keeps grumbling to himself that you're just a loose whore, fucking so many people and putting yourself out there on the internet. He wonders if they even know about what you do. Probably not, you probably don't tell them. Yeah, that sounds like what you'd do. Really, you're kinda lucky that someone like him is so willing to commit to you, since you are a slut. You don't deserve it, but he loves you anyway. And you'll probably have the nerve to be ungrateful for it too. Sigh. On the bright side, by some miracle, it would appear that you have not told any real-life people about him, you haven't sent out any hey if I disappear you should probably look into this creep type of messages. But he can't afford to have you doing so in between now and when you move in with him, so, he decides he has to act within the next 24 hours. While he's here, though, he decides to do a quick sweep of your place. Makes note of what snacks and drinks you like, what brand of toothpaste and shampoo and the like you use, so he can buy some for you. Maybe you'll adjust better if you have some of your favorite things. And then, after days of silence, he sends you a message, says it's fine, his internet went out for a few days. He means it to reassure you, but somehow it makes you feel more uneasy. He has everything planned out, or so he thinks. But you deviate from your usual schedule. When you leave work or class, you don't go home, you go somewhere else, first. How strange. Maybe picking up groceries? He follows from a distance. No, looks like you're going out to eat...? Maybe you're meeting friends or family or -- no that's a guy. Fuck. You must have planned this just earlier today, since there were no messages on your phone. It makes a bitter feeling rise in his gut. He hates that he can't get close enough to listen to your conversation. Well, he hates the whole thing, sits there and seethes the whole time. Watches you through the windows in the parking lot, thankfully you chose to sit outside. Feels his eye twitch and his hand clench every time you smile and laugh. It takes way too long. The fact that you split the bill feels like a punch to the stomach too. Shouldn't you be used to taking guys' money? Oh, and what's this...? This guy isn't the picture on boyfriend-of-the-month's contact. Well, well, well. You really are a whore. See, it's a very good thing he's taking you off the market. You're probably a reckless heartbreaker too. He's doing all the other men of the world a favor by taking on such a burden as you. And it makes him feel far more justified in keeping you locked away, since he has every reason to believe, now, that you'd run off and fuck someone else if given the chance. Halfway through, the guy briefly gets up and runs to the bathroom or something. While he's gone, he sees your face fall a bit. And then he sees you look around. You turn your head from one side to the other. Your eyes scan the area. You shuffle uncomfortably and you bite your lip and your eyebrows furrow. You're scared. You feel like -- no, you know you're being watched and it scares you. That makes him a little happy, for some reason. He wouldn't be sure what to do if you went home with the guy, but thankfully you don't. No big deal, this was just a bump in the road, he still beats you back to your building and he still goes through with the original plan. Even better, now that it's even darker outside. If anything, now he's got extra aggression and testosterone in his blood, running over the events in his head and going through some... very forceful and violent fantasies. The message he sent had you uneasy, and it's also how you immediately know what's going on when it does finally happen. You keep telling yourself you're being unnecessarily paranoid, that it's nothing, maybe that guy actually got his life together or got a girlfriend or something. Things like... What you fear, don't happen in real life, that's stuff that only happens in movies and stuff. You keep calling it that or it in your head. That won't happen to you. It's not going to happen. The series of events that play out in your head, scenarios you try to push out of your mind. Sure, in the movies it always takes place in the stairwell, but that's fiction, so you go up the apartment stairwell as always. You're not gonna let a bunch of B-grade old films scare you. And it's always some dude standing and waiting, but that nice young boy that you've never seen before is just leaning against the wall, scrolling on his phone, he only glances up for a second as you pass by, he's not a threat, you're being paranoid. You flash a smile and a little wave as you walk by, he doesn't return either, just looks back down at his phone. See? This guy doesn't even care, you're being paranoid for nothing, you tell yourself. But as you make the turn to go up the next set of stairs you hear the click of a phone being put on the lockscreen, a few metallic footsteps ringing out in the open hall and echoing, coming up right behind you, but for that split second you expect a tap on the shoulder, maybe he has a question, it's not like movies, it's not like movies, you're not gonna get a cloth shoved over your face and--- Well, it's not exactly like the movies. You were prepared, but it all happens in one motion - one hand grabs the hand with the spray and twists it, making you drop it, the other wraps some material over your mouth. You were prepared enough that you don't gasp in surprise, you hold your breath and thrash, but it doesn't make any difference, you wiggle and writhe for a few moments but can't even begin to break free, eventually succumb to the lack of oxygen and take a deep breath. It takes a few seconds to settle in, it's not so immediate. You instinctively panic and thrash again, but he has a complete iron grip. The dizziness takes a second to set in. He huffs a bit in frustration and says stop moving, it's fine. It's definitely not, but it occurs to you that that's not something a kidnapper looking for any potential vulnerable girl says. It's a poor attempt at comfort. It's someone specifically looking for you. And if that wasn't enough, he says your name. Your very real name. Maybe it was a mistake to tell him after all. But the worst part of it all is that there's not a single doubt in your mind, even in your panic you have the realization, it's definitely him and this is literally exactly what you were afraid of. And it's the last thing that goes through your head. And once he's got you out cold he just takes a sigh of relief. He may have been very neutral faced to you, but in reality he was incredibly nervous. He hasn't exactly made or used chloroform before, our boy is operating on YouTube tutorials here. He's got adrenaline pumping through his veins and carries you with his arms trembling. He's on autopilot carrying you out, but his mind is also consumed by holy fuck I'm touching her she smells so nice she's so warm her face is so close I'm actually touching her-- you get the idea. He feels bad about taping your hands and feet together and putting you in the trunk of his car, kinda. It feels too much like what a really bad person would do to a girl they didn't care about, like he's a trafficker or a murderer or a criminal or something, but that's not true at all. Sure, he's still mad at you for being a whore and all that, but it feels improper, he just has no choice. It's late at night, but he can't risk getting pulled or being at a stoplight and someone seeing an unconscious girl in his backseat, so, trunk it is. But once he's home, to his tiny little downtown apartment (he'll probably be able to move into a better place soon, since he's not paying you tons of money anymore), he takes a quick check to make sure the coast is clear, and drags you out, up the stairs, all the way into his apartment, sets you down on the bed, where you'll be staying. He even washed the sheets and cleaned the place up a bit for your arrival. You probably would not like to see what this place looked like before the five trash bags worth of cleaning was done. He'll probably be more motivated in the future, though, since now he won't be so depressed all the time. And then the adrenaline of the fear of being seen is over, and that's when it sets in that this is real. It's very, very hard to hold back. You're real, in the flesh, he can reach out and touch you with his hands! It feels like a dream. And he realizes he can take this opportunity to do things he would be far, far too embarrassed to do when you're awake. He takes a few minutes to do just that, cautiously reaches out to poke your face, and then run a hand down your neck, your skin is so soft! Your hair smells so nice, he lays down beside you and runs his fingers over it. Puts hands on your body and just lays there in awe of the fact that you're real. He's pretty certain he's never actually touched a human female before now. Everything about you feels soft. Weirdly feminine, which is something very foreign and confusing to him. And he kinda uh... Loses it. Goes buckwild with just taking in every aspect of you. Again, since you're unconscious he can be gross and entirely shameless about it. Peels your clothes off and runs his hands and mouth over every inch of flesh, takes the tape off your lips and presses his tongue into your limp mouth until he's forced to let go to breathe, fingers you and tonguefucks you and sucks on your nipples and your neck. Lays pressed against you and just breathes in your scent. It takes every ounce of self control he has not to fuck you already. But he does jerk off a few times. That way he'll last longer, so it's a win-win. And then... you twitch. Tape goes back over your mouth. And then, you twitch again. And this time, you make a little "mm!" under the tape, you start trembling and he sees you try to pull your hands apart. You whimper. It sounds scared and distressed. He feels kinda bad, but it also makes him hard, and that outweighs any guilt by far. Besides, it's what you deserve after what you did earlier. You tortured him mentally, it's only fair. On the good side of things, you suppose, you don't have to worry about the usual fears one would have over such a situation - you're fairly certain he's not going to kill you, nor sell you. In fact, the bed you wake up on is pretty soft. You're naked and the tape is uncomfortable, but... At least he was considerate enough to give you a blanket. He does care about you, after all. First thing he says is asking if you're awake. Can you hear me? You hesitate a moment, and then you nod. He's a bit new to this whole abduction thing. He wants to make sure he didn't pull a muscle or something with the tape. So... Do you hurt anywhere? Does your head hurt? Oh, right, the tape. He's not stupid either. You have to promise you're not going to scream. In fact, he's angry enough about earlier that he gets a bit meaner than he originally told himself he'd be. If you scream, I'll make you regret it. Understand? You nod, so he takes it off, holding it close in preparation in case you were lying, but you don't actually answer him, you're silent again for a minute, then just ask a question of your own. You're that guy, right? He's silent for a few seconds, there's no need for any clarification. Finally just says yeah. You just breathe again. Silently. Finally you summon the courage to ask him what he wants with you. And why are you doing this to me? And his answer is fairly simple. What do you think? You don't say anything for a minute, and neither does he. He's not good with words, and you don't really have ones for this situation. It occurs to you that offering to pay him to let you go is probably not the solution. After all, this is the guy that's dumped unimaginable amounts of money onto you, you couldn't even come close to paying him back. You figure maybe, after he gets what he wants... well, you get the courage to ask.  Is there anything... that I can do o-or... anything that will make you... are you gonna let me go, after you....? And the answer is, again, simple, but the one you did not want to hear. No. He's a blunt boy, so he doesn't beat around the bush, but he doesn't torment you by keeping anything from you. In fact, he's already rehearsed this speech a few hundred times in his head. He just wanted to make sure he's very clear so there's no misunderstanding, and while he likes some discomfort in a vengeful sort of way, he doesn't want you to be too freaked out to where you have a panic attack. He says he's just going to... keep you here. He has the things you'll need. He got your purse with your keys, so he'll even run to your apartment after this to go get some of your stuff. You don't need to tell him which number, he adds, he already knows which apartment you're in. He needs you here, he says. And he makes sure to add that it's your fault. If you were never out there selling yourself in the first place, this never would have happened. If you're good, he can make things a bit better for you. But you need to go ahead and accept that you're going to be staying and that no amount of begging or offers is going to convince him to let you go. He can be nice to you, he promises. A better boyfriend than the others. You just have to be a good girlfriend -- you know, obedient and sweet and do what he says. Just like you always were when you talked to him. Just keep being sweet like that and doing the things he tells you to do. You would argue that the terms boyfriend and girlfriend are not appropriate descriptors of the sort of relationship he's creating, but you keep that thought to yourself. Instead, you ask, How long are you going to keep me here? Which is a dumb question, since he's pretty sure he already made that clear. Forever. -----

There's a double homicide in the area. Takes place on the same night, and the same diameter of knife is used, so police believe maybe the two incidents are connected. Especially because they do have something in common, one girl. She was romantically involved with both of them. The girl in question's apartment has been vacated, very suddenly, and the girl has disappeared without a trace, taking things with her from the looks of it, so police believe she may be responsible, but other than that, they have no leads. A few weeks later, a video circulates all over the internet. Some famous camgirl finally started making porn, apparently. Just one video, but the description (which was totally written by her, it has to be since it's written in first person right?) says something about how she decided to quit camming, so this video marks the end of her career. She got into a relationship, so she says in the description, so she has to quit. It's roleplay porn, apparently, she's doing a good job at the acting. All tied up and gagged and getting fucked by some big-dicked guy holding the camera. He's silent, but she's making a ton of noise, cums several times. Really good acting, the fear and desperation in her eyes looks so real. Talk about going out with a bang. It gets a lot of likes. Tons of comments about how sad people are she's quitting. And of course, a lot of comments say, what a lucky guy.

[wkngsnds]

You know, I wish we had the option to condemn Urianger and G’hara during Shadowbringer; the closest we get to that is telling Urianger “No more lies”.

Straight up, “I cannot forgive you” or “I cannot trust you anymore”

“Oh but they feel so bad and Ghara was planning on sacrificing himself 🥺🥺”

I don’t care, they fucked us over for the “greater good”, because they knew we wouldn’t and couldn’t say no to saving the first and the source. They knew we wouldn’t sit idly by and let the calamity happen. They took advantage of the fact bc we are the WoL/champion, and just assumed we would handle the responsibility. I think they’re great characters, but to ignore the fact that they manipulated us, and refused to let us properly choose between life and death when it’s our lives doesn’t sit right with me. Chances are, it would have been a nearly identical playthrough if they were just transparent with us from the get go. This is also the second time Urianger has done this to us; baiting us and the Warriors of Darkness just so we can use our crystals to give light to Hydaelyn. All that talk about feeling guilty for his arrogance and manipulating everyone in post Heavensword and defying fate yet he’s back on his bullshit. Even in Endwalker, he doesn’t really acknowledge using us and exploiting us— only his guilt for Minfilia, the Exarch, Moenbryda, and it’s like??? Umm?? Did you forget the death path you agreed to put us on a few weeks/months ago? We literally almost became a light warden because you thought we could handle it. He never truly apologizes to the WoL, and I wonder if he thinks we’ll just get over it, so he doesn’t bother. He definitely opened up to us, but (in my opinion) he’s not a good friend. Not yet, anyways. Mind you, I simp this man but it would stupid of me to ignore these major flaws of his.

We’ve been through too much up to that point, (we probably have some degree of trauma(s)), just for others to take that autonomy away from us. For other characters to do “what’s best” for us, and not allowing us to have a say. It’s also a meta critique in the lack of choices we have in the game play, and our dialogue choices not having much influence on our relationships with characters. We’re forced to be this goody two shoes, happy go lucky type of hero with no room for grey morality. Yes, we can be snarky and rude but it’s not the same. There’s only one path and we get roped around back into it even if we try to diverge. Hell, the game acknowledges this in one of the aether current blue quests.

I think that’s why Y’Shtola shot up to my top favorite characters— she was already a great character, but she was the only one before the reveal calling Urianger and the Exarch out on their bullshit and how they were hurting us by keeping us in the dark. Alisaie as well, for that matter, though she was already top fave.

[watchmegetobsessed]

VALERIE - Part V. (Harry Styles)

happy sunday loves!! part 5 is here, buckle up bc we are getting down to business here!! thank you so much for the nice feedbacks, it’s always so moving and inspiring to read your thoughts, so please keep them coming! even if it’s just some gibberish rambling, those are the best haha! now let’s jump right into part 5, we are heading into the christmas mood and im so excited for yall to read this part!! enjoy!

word count: 6.1k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

By the time November nears its end you officially become a couple with Marcus. It happens gradually, two more dates follow your first one, and then on the third one you agree to test the waters of the possibilities between the two of you exclusively. 

Marcus is a great guy. He is funny, caring and smart, always listens to you and cares for even the smallest details about you when you’re talking. He is great company and never fails to make you feel appreciated and wanted. Exactly what you’ve been looking for in a guy, Rosa really hit the nail on the head this time. 

You easily fall into a habit with him. Fridays are for date nights, sometimes you go for little trips outside the city on Sundays and he never misses a chance to send you flowers throughout the week. He is just the type of guy that’s always there to cheer you up with something whenever the days start to weigh down on your shoulders. 

You even have dinner together with Rosa and Steven one Saturday evening, Rosa keeps giving you those ‘I told you so’ eyes whenever Marcus kisses you shortly or places his hand to your waist. You mostly just roll your eyes at her, not wanting to make a big deal out of the two of you, but Rosa knows how long you’ve been trying to find someone. 

What’s a surprising turn is that you start seeing Harry more. Intentionally. You have no idea how it happens, but it does and you’re not mad about it. Some days you grab lunch together whenever he is in the neighborhood, some days you go shopping with him when his sister doesn’t have the time. Harry is a problematic shopper, he takes a long time to decide on clothes so usually you are the one that forces him to choose and finish before all shops close. 

When he has had a rough week and you happened to call him for whatever reason, the two of you agree to meet up for drinks at his place, then end up playing UNO for hours, slowly emptying out two bottles of wine.

It’s starting to get harder to imagine what it was like when things weren’t like this with him. When you were getting anxiety from just the thought of seeing him or having to talk to him. It’s like the both of you are showing a different version of yourselves to each other and you have to admit you enjoy being friends with him. 

He keeps his habit of teasing you and making jokes about you though, but you don’t mind it. He is not doing it in a mean way with the attempt to piss you off, but to make you laugh and start a playful war where you both throw insults at each other until one of you runs out of it and just starts laughing. You feel a kind of dynamic building between you and him that has a way better effect on you than the continuous killing you were doing before.

You can tell Rosa is thankful for the change as well. Whenever she sees you interact with Harry without making a grimace or have that face that screams how badly you want to hit him, she is relieved that she has one less thing to worry about and Valerie will have two amazing godparents who even like each other.

Christmas is always a big parade in your family. Your mom and your aunts always want to celebrate together so in the past few years it has become a tradition to rent a place out that has enough space for the whole extended family and spend three days there from the 23rd to the 25th. This year your dad found a huge cabin in the woods with ten bedrooms and seven bathrooms, just the perfect size for you all. It’s gonna be your parents, Rosa and Steven with Valerie, Aunt Monica, Aunt Teresa with Uncle Andrew, your cousin Etta, her husband Joe and their two kids, your other cousin Lily with her husband Jeremy and their daughter, and lastly you and Harry.  Though your mom urged you to invite Marcus along as well, he could join you for longer than a dinner, since he was already set to fly home to his family.

“You sure he can’t stay for at least the first night?” you mom asks on the phone one evening. You’re stirring the sauce in the pan. holding the phone to your ear with your shoulder so you have both of your hands free.

“Yes, I’m sure. It’s fine, he can come for dinner and then leave later.”

“I get it, but it would have been fun if he stayed,” she sighs, clearly disappointed that she couldn’t change what’s already set. If you’re being honest you don’t mind that Marcus is not staying for the night. You haven’t been dating for that long, you feel like it would be a little uncomfortable to have him there the whole time. A dinner is perfectly fine as a starter, since he hasn’t met anyone else from your family other than Rosa and Steven.

“Anyway,” she sighs moving on, “Have you figured it out how you’re gonna get there?”

“I don’t know, I guess I’ll tag along with someone.”

“Well, I think you should ask Harry. Everyone else is pretty packed already. Rosa and Steven won’t have any extra space with Valerie this year.”

You nod, even though she can’t see you. These past years Rosa always offered you a ride for the holidays, but even when they brought her over for just one night their car was jam-packed. No way you’re gonna fit in there so you are left with Harry since Marcus can only come in the afternoon.

“Sure, I’ll ask him.”

You shoot him a text that day and he replies right away that you’re welcomed in his car, though he won’t be able to take you back since he is leaving early in the morning on the 25th since he is flying back to the UK to his family. It’s fine, you think, you’ll just probably just tag along with aunt Monica back to the city, she always gets her a car for these occasions. Though it’s not your ideal option, she is not the best partner for rides, because she is a fan of smoking in the car, but you don’t have much of a choice. 

“I’ll call you when I leave, okay?” Marcus tells you on the morning of the 23rd. It’s early, barely seven, but he is up because he needs to work a little today and you are finishing up packing since Harry will be here in an hour to pick you up.

“Sure. Drive safe,” you huff sitting on the edge of the bed, staring down at your suitcase that’s still not closed, clothes are sticking out on the side and you’re sure you’ll have to sit on it to pull the zipper.

“See you later,” Marcus says before you end the call. 

It’s rather comical how you try to close the suitcase but you only care about the fact that you eventually succeed. Only minutes before eight you are packed and ready so when you get Harry’s text that he is outside you can leave right away.

Seeing you with your big suitcase he hops out of the car and rushes to help you.

“How long are you planning to stay, Y/N?” he chuckles lifting the bag up and you just shrug your shoulders with a smirk. You’ve alway been a heavy packer, no need to try to cover it up.

Harry throws your stuff into the back of the car as you take the passenger seat. His phone is hooked to the car, a playlist of his own playing gently through the speakers and you’re surprised to catch on the Christmas feeling in the songs.

“Are you in the spirit?” you ask when he gets into the car.

“Like to set the mood ahead,” he chuckles starting the car and off you go. 

Ridiculous to think about it, but it’s actually the first time you sit in the same car with Harry or see him drive even. The way you two used to be was not quite ideal to have you locked up in such a small place as a car. But now you have nothing against spending the almost hour long drive with him. 

“Can you pull out the navigation when I leave the highway? I’m not sure where exactly I need to head,” he asks you, eyes fixed on the road ahead of him and nodding you open the app on your phone so his can keep on playing the music without the voice of the navigation interrupting it. 

“Excited to spend your first Christmas with us?” you ask. Though Harry was there at several family events, it’s his first Christmas since becoming Valerie’s godfather. 

“I am,” he chuckles, nodding, hands gripping the wheel gently. He is a natural driver, easily working the car, the kind you feel completely safe next to. As Baby It’s Cold Outside comes on a smile stretches across your lips as you start gently bop your head to the song. “I’ve heard crazy stuff about Christmases at your family,” he adds glancing in your way for a second.

“Like what?”

“I remember when Steven told me about his first Christmas with your family. You remember that?”

Searching in your memories you tried to remember when was the first time Rosa brought Steven along. They dated for two years before they got married so it’s been about five years since then, but as you think hard the memory of that specific year pops into your head making you laugh as you nod.

“Oh, yes. The year Aunt Monica almost burned the Airbnb down,” you sigh grinning at the memory. She brought some special kind of cigars that year that were told to be curiosities from somewhere fancy, but they ended up the literal worst quality, flaming bits were falling out them all the time when she would smoke one, almost making the rug catch on fire wherever she went. Best thing is that she was already drunk on the liquor so she didn’t even notice, there was always a person on Aunt Monica duty, following her around, making sure nothing burnt down. 

“Steven said he had a moment when he thought about bailing,” Harry tells you and you gasp, because that’s new information.

“Really?”

“Yeah, but like only for a split second after your dad walked in on him naked in the bathroom. That was kind of the last straw. Luckily Rosa could convince him to stay. Guess it all worked out at the end.” Harry smiles as he stares ahead of him.

You can’t imagine a version where Rosa and Steven don’t end up together. They met through a mutual friend not long after Rosa had a nasty breakup with her scumbag ex. Steven was there to put her back together and be her partner as she found herself again. The change and positive impact he had on her could be seen every day and you were so thankful to him for helping your sister find her way out of such a dark place in her life. It didn’t take them too long to start dating and he proposed a little more than a year later. You still remember how Rosa was screaming in the phone when she called you that evening telling you that Steven proposed. They are quite literally a match made in heaven. It’s been your goal in life to find this person in your life though you haven’t had much luck with men so far. Ironically, if you were in a room with every man you were ever involved with in any kind of way, Harry would be the only one you’d want to talk with. If you had to make this exact same choice just months ago you would have chosen to run out screaming. 

“Maybe this year it’s your turn to get horrified from us,” you laugh, sinking down a little in your seat as you adjust the seat belt. You’re still quite far away from the cabin, you might as well make yourself comfortable. 

“I think there’s not much that I haven’t witnessed yet. I was walked in on at the bathroom once too, but it was your cousin, Etta.”

“When did that happen?” you ask with a heartfelt laugh.

“I think it was last summer at one of your nieces’ birthday party. Luckily everything was already tucked away when she basically barged in.”

“She didn’t miss much,” you tease him with a smirk and your witty comment catches him by surprise.

“Are you saying my dick is not imposing enough to be worthy of peeking?” he asks with raised eyebrows and you’re happy he is driving. His intimidating look would already burn right into your skin by now, but he is forced to watch the road instead. 

“I mean, if you want to put it that way…” you continue, but a laugh escapes your lips.

“Take that back, Y/N,” he orders, sneaking a hard look at you before turning back ahead, but you can see the small smile hiding on his lips. 

“Or what?”

“Or you might find yourself in a war you don’t want to be involved in,” he warns you, but his words don’t quite have the effect on you he wanted. Because in a heartbeat you find yourself feeling… excited? Thrilled? Even curious about his means behind his words. 

“Wouldn’t want to lie, so…” Pretending like you’re sorry you shrug your shoulders as Harry gives you a look that makes your stomach churn. Now either you are gonna have some fun teasing each other or… you just threw yourself into the arms of the Devil himself. Either way, you’re certain Harry won’t leave it in that.

Turning your head to your window you can’t keep your smile contained as you think of the fact that how big of a lie it was. Harry is surely not a guy who should ever worry about any aspect of his manhood. You’re talking from experience. 

***

The cabin is absolutely gorgeous, just the perfect place for a cozy family holiday. Hidden from the busy roads with a secure gate and tall trees on both sides, the back of it is facing a majestic view of the valley and the evergreen covered hill in the distance. With an interior straight from the pages of a magazine, you need just a few moments to adjust to your surroundings upon arriving.

“I saved a nice room for you, Harry!” your mother gushes the moment she sees the two of you walk through the front door. You huff in annoyance.

“And what about me?” 

Harry chuckles giving you a smug grin. “Guess you’re just second after me.”

“It’s his first Christmas with us, he deserves the better room,” your mom shushes at you, making your eyes roll instantly. It’s still hard to believe Harry has this kind of charm over most people.

After greeting everyone who is already there, your dad, Aunt Teresa and Etta with her family, your mom walks the two of you down one of the hallways that leads to several bedrooms. She stops at the last door with an excited grin on her face as she opens it revealing the bedroom behind it. 

You instantly understand why she thought this is the best one. The view is absolutely breathtaking, the gentle noon light is flowing into the room through the floor to ceiling windows, the king sized bed facing them so when you wake up in the morning the first thing you see is the endless sea of evergreens on the side of the hill. Not to mention the room has its own bathroom, not many of the other rooms are blessed with that. There’s a spacious shower that has enough space for at least three people in there and it’s one of those fancy ones that can make you feel like you’re having a shower in the middle of a jungle, mood lights and bluetooth speakers attached to it.

“No fucking way Harry is getting this room!” you gasp as you look around, taking in the luxure your mother is willing to hand over to him.

“Jealous, much?” he smirks, throwing his sports bag to the bed already ruining the neatly made sheets. He does not deserve this.

“Mom!” you huff turning to her, but she has made her mind up already.

“Your room is nice too, don’t worry Honey. Let Harry have this one!”

“I really can’t believe you are taking his side,” you grumble under your breath, folding your arms on your chest as you take one last look at the stunning view. 

“Come on, Y/N. He is a guest!”

“He is not! You said it yourself he is family now!” you retort and Harry just laughs behind you, so you shoot him a murderous look over your shoulder, that just fuels his entertainment.

“Don’t be silly. Your room is the second one on the right from here,” she smiles at you. “We are gonna take a walk around once everyone arrives, so get settled by then!” she informs you before walking out. 

“Hey,” Harry’s soft voice makes you turn around. “You can have the room if you want.”

Your eyebrows rise at the kind gesture, it’s very not like him, even now in your friendly state, so it’s quite odd that he is willing to switch rooms with you.

“No need,” you shake your head grabbing the handle of your suitcase that you abandoned at the door.

“You sure? It doesn’t matter where I’m sleeping, really.”

“I’m not gonna deal with my mother’s scolding if she finds out I took your room, so you can totally stay.” 

Harry chuckles as you head out, but stop at the door to have one last word with him. “Though I might occupy your bathroom, that shower looks nice.”

“All yours,” he grins before you walk out.

***

By 11 am everyone arrives and the once quiet cabin is now buzzing from life, children running around, Valerie’s babbling shoots through the spacious living area where Rosa set her crib up, your mother is already making preparations for dinner while most of the men are circled around the pool table having a beer since no one has to drive for the rest of the day. 

“When is Marcus arriving?” Rosa asks, eyes on Valerie who is absolutely destroying something that once were an elephant maybe, but she’s been ruthless with the poor animal, chewing and throwing it around all the time, so it’s not just a grey, fuzzy mess.

“Sometime before dinner. He has some work to finish,” you tell her pulling your legs under yourself on the comfy couch.

“And explain again, why isn’t he staying for the night?” she turns to you with a puzzled look.

“Because he is going home to his family early in the morning tomorrow.”

“Okay, but he could have just left from here, didn’t he?”

“It’s… complicated. It’s better if he just goes back home tonight and then leaves from there in the morning.”

What you leave out of the whole explanation is that you didn’t really invite him to stay the night as well. Sounds horrible and ridiculous but you didn’t think you’d have felt comfortable with him staying. You’ve been dating for only barely more than a month and though things are going well, you felt like starting with just a dinner would be a better idea. Marcus didn’t question why you didn’t offer him to stay, it seemed like he was fine with just coming and then going after dinner. 

Does this make you a bad girlfriend? Maybe, but you value your comfort and feelings more than to ruin your favorite holiday with your family. 

Just as you mom said, once everyone is settled in their rooms for the upcoming three days, the whole gang dresses up to have a walk around taking the welcoming little path that runs around the cabin and is smooth enough for Valerie’s carriage as well. Your nieces and nephew are quick to surround Harry and nag him to join them at the front, exploring the woods surrounding the path. It seems like he doesn’t mind it and gladly takes part in the adventure, also secretly looking after them so their parents can have a break and enjoy the stroll in hopes the walk tires the kids out enough that they’ll willingly go to bed in the evening instead of whining to stay up late. 

You’re walking with Etta next to you as she tells you about Hannah’s latest dance competition when you spot that Harry and Oliver, your nephew, Etta’s other kid are suspiciously whispering around pointing in your direction. At last Olly nods and runs up to you showing a quite thick piece of wood into your hand. You look down at him confused.

“Thank you?” you tell him a little unsure what it’s all about.

“I found it in a bush, I want to take it home. Harry said you’ll keep it for me because you have a good hand for thick and hard sticks.”

You almost choke on your own breath, as Olly just carelessly runs back ahead to join his sister. You immediately look over to Etta in fear that she heard what Harry told Oliver, but luckily she was talking with Joe turning back, not really paying attention to the conversation you just had with her son. If she did, Harry probably wouldn’t live by now.

Speaking of the devil, you look in his way and that annoying, smug grin is right there as he nods in your way saluting before he shows his hands into his pockets and turns back around to catch up with the kids. 

That disgusting piece of shit really went into the depth of teaching something secretly dirty to your nephew as a way of payback for your comment in the car earlier. He surely wasn't just joking when he said you’d pay for what you said. And you have a feeling he is just getting started. 

***

Aunt Monica is like a legend in your family. She is the oldest between your mom and her sisters, already in her sixties, but in the heart she still feels like she has just turned twenty. She never married, but had several men in her life, love affairs, short flings, but none of them lasted for more than a year. 

“Why would I settle when there’s so many fish in the sea?” she once told you, her iconic Chanel sunglasses sat on her nose as she sipped on her martini. 

She has worked many jobs throughout her life, she was once a dancer, she waited tables and even worked as a TV host at one point in the ‘80s. She was the true free spirit of the family, her sisters often questioned her sanity, but you think there’s nothing wrong with how she lived her life, enjoying it to the last bit. In the early ‘90s she was seeing a millionaire, probably the only man she would have given her lifestyle up for. Unfortunately, they never married, the man passed away due to his heart problems, however, since he had little to zero family he left basically everything to Aunt Monica. Money, house, cars, business, everything. Being the smart woman that she is, she handed over the business into professional hands but she is still the owner, so the money is still flowing even though she could have lived happily on the money she inherited without ever having to work a day. 

She seems a little odd in your family, but she has always been a loving aunt to you, a caring sister and she never fails to take care of her loved ones. She is the one to pay for all these Christmas getaways, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to stay in places this nice.

“What’s all the money for if I don’t spend it on my family?” she always says when someone questions if she is fine with paying for everything. Your mom and Teresa have tried to convince her to let them at least pay for part of it but she wouldn’t even listen to them. 

She likes to have her own, sometimes odd ways in life. She definitely has a drinking problem, but not in a dangerous way. You have never seen her completely wasted, she just likes to keep things buzzing and always have a drink on her whenever she needs the extra fun. Because of her past she has the greatest stories about meeting famous people back in the days or how soldiers used to try to win her over when she was just a teenager.

“Oh, those things happened,” your mom told you when one day you questioned if you could believe all the crazy stories Aunt Monica tells you. “She was like… the star of the show. Used to hate living in her shadow, but I can’t blame her for enjoying life and doing the things I was too afraid to do myself.”

Now you’re sitting in the sunroom that faces the amazing view behind the cabin, the Christmas tree is standing tall in the corner, beautifully decorated in white and beige. Valerie is snuggled up to your chest as you gently rub her back and you listen to Aunt Monica tell you about how a literal captain once proposed to her after just three days of knowing each other.

“He was a gentleman, but a beast in the bed, Y/N. I’m telling you, men in uniform are just a different level of satisfaction.”

She sighs deep, taking a sip from her margarita that’s definitely not her first drink, and you just laugh nodding.

“He was begging for me to go to Italy with him.”

“And why didn’t you?”

“Who said I didn’t?” she asks with a pretentious hurt look turning to you and you just laugh. You should have known the story would go this way. “I accepted the offer, only turned down his proposal when we sailed off and then we parted as soon as I stepped onto the land of Italy. Broke his heart into pieces, but I was too busy enjoying the Italian summer.”

Harry comes in and hands you a bottle filled with juice that probably Rosa sent for Valerie.

“Thank you,” you smile at him shortly as you adjust the little girl in your arms and hand her the bottle.

“Young boy, have you ever proposed to someone?” Aunt Monica asks Harry who stops in his way as he was already about to head out, but now he walks back to the sofa where she is sitting.

“No, not yet,” he shakes his head.

“And how do you think you would if the time came?”

You watch Harry think to himself at the odd and quite random question. It’s not really something you would have ever asked him, but now that there’s the chance to hear his answer you are listening curiously. 

“Depends on the woman I’m proposing to,” he replies after a few seconds.

“How would you propose to Y/N?”

Your eyes widen as you turn to your aunt with shock all over your face. You definitely didn’t want yourself dragged into this.

“Aunt Monica, that’s--”

“Shush! I’m just asking theoretically. Wanna hear his answer.”

Harry’s eyes wander over to your sitting figure on the sofa as he leans onto the back of the one in front of him. You can feel the heat crawling up on your neck to your cheeks under his burning look and you just know he enjoys how nervous you got from this simple question that wasn’t even asked from you. 

Licking his lips he moves his eyes from you over to Aunt Monica who is still waiting for his answer.

“Something romantic, but not too grandiose, I know she doesn’t like being in the center of the attention that much. Maybe…” Tapping on his chin you listen to his words and without even realizing you hold your breath. “Maybe on a hike with a nice view. She would be admiring the view when I get down on one knee and as she turns around I pop the lid on the box.”

What bugs you is that it’s an awfully accurate description of how you’d imagined your proposal. He was right about many aspects, like how you don’t like being in the center of attention. No idea how he nailed so easily, but he did. 

Glancing down you pretend to be busy with Valerie who is still peacefully drinking her juice, eyes wandering around the room relentlessly.

“So you really look to satisfy her deepest fantasies, careful about even the smallest details. Women appreciate it,” Aunt Monica nods, completely oblivious to how uncomfortable she just made you feel.

“Thank you, I do like to satisfy women,” Harry cheekily answers with a smirk, eyes locking with yours for a moment as Aunt Monica lets out a laugh at the dirty comment. Before you could bite your tongue a retort slips out of your mouth.

“What a shame you don’t always succeed.”

Harry’s eyes turn from playful to dark pretty quickly and you enjoy the victory over him. Your comment in the car earlier already wounded his manhood, now it’s another stab right into his… crotch. It’s the least he deserves after what he taught poor Olly.

“That I don’t believe. He seems like an absolute pleaser.” Aunt Monica winks in Harry’s way who just smiles at her shyly, but you can tell your comment is still bugging him. 

“I think Y/N knows that too herself, am I right?” He tilts his head to the side and you stand your ground with holding his gaze and not looking away.

“Don’t be so sure about that,” you simply say, just when you hear your mom calling out for you. “Would you take her please?” you innocently ask walking up to Harry, holding Valerie out for him. You can tell he is looking for a witty comeback, but he has nothing just yet, so he is stuck with keeping his mouth shut as he takes baby Valerie from you. You gift him with a sweet, but definitely spikey smile before leaving him there with Aunt Monica. 

***

Dinner is already almost ready, you’re helping your mom and Aunt Teresa in the kitchen with the finishing touches, Joe and Harry packing out the wine bottles from the rack Jeremy brought them in, the two of them examining the bottles with such professionalism you almost believe they have the slightest idea about what to look for in a good wine. 

“Should we open some red or white ones for tonight’s dinner?” Joe asks your mom who is the master chef when it comes to the dinner.

“Red would suit better,” she answers. “Are they sweet?”

“Some, yeah,” Harry nods holding up a bottle and checking the label.

“Great. Monica loves that too,” Teresa chuckles as she adds some salt to the mashed potato. 

“And Y/N too,” Harry adds, not even looking up, but he successfully attracts your mom’s attention with his comment.

“She does?” Harry looks up and sees your boiling anger plastered all over your face, so of course he chooses to take it further.

“Oh, yeah. She can drink like a gallon. Wine drunk Y/N is like a whole different person.”

“I told you so many times not to get drunk, Y/N. It’s not too ladylike. When was the last time you saw her drunk?”

“There were plenty of occasions,” Harry exaggerates and you could kill him right there. “Though last time it was the tequila that got her wildin’.”

That damned smirk of his is making your hands curl into fists and for a moment you tell yourself it’s okay to punch him in front of your mother even if she’ll probably disown you for such behavior. 

“Y/N! I have told you a million times that you need to know where your limits lie!” she huffs shaking her head at you while you clench your jaw. Back at it with the lessons about getting drunk. She’ll never get over it, not even when you’ll be forty. Why does it matter to her so much? Sometimes she is the one to get you started, but then she gives you the dirtiest looks when you have one too many. She should just get used to it now. 

“She surely likes to have fun when she has had a few drinks,” Harry continues smugly. “Remember how much fun you had at Rosa and Steven’s wedding?”

“Oh, God! I remember how drunk you were that evening, I could have killed you!” your mother growls and you roll your eyes at her.

“It wasn’t that bad. There were a lot more people who got way more wasted than me,” you try to defend yourself folding your arms on your chest. 

“That doesn’t change that you were too,” she says with a hard look. Great, now she is mad at you for something that happened literally years ago. Kudos to Harry for ruining her mood.

“She wasn’t that bad,” Harry adds and you look in his way with suspicion. “She was a delight when it was time to get her to bed.”

Your mouth almost hangs open, but it seems like you’re the only one understanding what he really meant by that. Luckily, beside you and him, Rosa and Steven are the only people who knows what happened between you and Harry that night, so it’s no surprise no one else catches on the hint.

“You were the one who took her up to her room? Sorry if she was a burden,” your mother sighs and right at that moment you wish the floor would just open up and you could disappear forever. Harry’s satisfied grin is the evidence that he just won another round of this nasty war.

Just as you open your mouth to try and move the conversation to another field you see a pair of headlights pull up to the driveway. Everyone turns to the window as Marcus’ car parks down last in the line. As you step away from the counter you see the confusion in Harry’s eyes about the new guest.

“Oh, amazing! He is here!” your mom cheers, seemingly instantly forgetting about how she was dragging you just a minute ago.

“Who’s here?” you hear Harry ask, but you’re already out of there, heading to the front door to greet Marcus.

Just as you walk out into the cold evening air you see him get out with a warm smile on his lips. You wait for him at the door, arms wrapped around yourself and as he reaches you he places a soft kiss to your lips. 

“Hey, how was the drive?” you ask him.

“It was fine. I didn’t arrive too late, right?”

“No, we were just about to set the table. Come on in, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

He takes your hand in his as the two of you walk inside, all eyes immediately turning your way at the arrival of your boyfriend.

“Everyone, I want you all to meet my boyfriend, Marcus. He is staying for dinner.”

Your family members walk up to the two of you, shaking hands and introducing themselves to Marcus who smiles at everyone politely, trying his best to remember all the names and information that’s thrown at him all of a sudden. Everyone seems delighted to have him for dinner, the kids instantly make him promise he’ll play a card game with them after dinner and he happily says yes to the invitation. 

You can tell your mom is proud that finally both of her daughters are spending Christmas with a man by their side and you’re almost certain your dad took a liking to Marcus the moment he mentioned he is into fishing.

Everyone seems excited and happy for Marcus, there’s just one face that doesn’t fit in the line of joyful smiles. Harry stands quite far from the two of you and only gets closer when he shakes hands with Marcus. His cocky grin is long gone from his face as he keeps his hard look on your boyfriend who is chatting with everyone. Standing next to Marcus, your hand still holding his, your eyes lock with Harry’s and there’s an unknown, burning feeling in your gut when his hard gaze holds yours. The sudden change and cold act gets you wondering what’s really going on in his mind. He is the first one to look away and you watch him walk into the kitchen and disappear from your sight before you force a smile on your lips and turn back to Marcus.

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[youranxiousnerd]

Today was rough so I watched In a Heartbeat and sobbed.

Anyway here are some extended thoughts. I’ll post my Climb thoughts... eventually.

“We'd choose Seblos in a heartbeat!” Me too, DisneyMusicVEVO

“But you keep it all bottled up” do NOT listen too In a Heartbeat after crying bc you can’t talk to people.

11 seconds in and I’m kinda crying

20 seconds in and Seb is like “yep, i forgive you, how can i stay mad at that pretty face and pretty voice.”

STOP SEB LOOKING DOWN AND SMILING

“I’ll be right here whatever happens” that’s a promise, y’all.

Carlos’ look at Ricky and him smiling “go be gay, i support you!”

“Awe, he chooses me in a heartbeat”

Seb is ‘rolling his eyes’ and smiling and Carlos is so serious. Like “yes, I choose you.”

“You’ll never dance alone” shoulder shrug

“Let’s be gay and be dance partners for life”

Carlos getting the chair makes me feel things.

Ricky is just ‘straight’ look me in the eyes and tell me Richard Bowen is straight up vibin.

“How crazy I am, somehow you understand.”

Carlos has been the butt end of the joke for so long but with Seb he isn’t. I think Carlos is very self aware about how intense and “crazy” he can get during rehearsal and life but Seb is still with him, even after the chaos. 

“Yep, this boy is a little crazy but he is mine.”

Pulling the chair forward.

Carlos is giving Seb the option to hold his hands. He puts them in the space between them and doesn’t grab.

“Seb has his hands, I repeat Seb has his hands, initiate phase two: dancing”

Seb’s eyes on “this is magic”

I have literally been thinking about this bridge ALL DAY

“Don’t you worry, you can trust me, I won’t lose you” WHY IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT THIS?!?!?!

The Seblos version of “I would have come for you. And if I couldn't walk, I'd crawl to you, and no matter how broken we were, we'd fight our way out together-knives drawn, pistols blazing. Because that's what we do. We never stop fighting.”

pls go read Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo.

Seb is grinning so damn much.

“But all I know is everything that I need. I have with the boy who chose me”

In other words “I don’t need anything as long as I have you... not even a tony award.”

Them figuring out their hands and then saying “screw it, lets lead together”

THEY’RE SO SOFT DAMNIT

they’re having so much fun

I don’t do ballroom dancing, but it seems like Carlos is “showing” Seb off, if that makes since? Like letting him be the receiver to the turns.

Carlos fixing Seb’s tie absolutely destroys me every time.

“Wanna spin?” “Yeah, o-” Whoosh

Alternate title: Seb Matthew-Smith smiling for two minutes and twenty six seconds

Alternate ALTERNATE title: Seblos being in love for two minutes and twenty six seconds

In Homecoming, they’re swaying softly. They’re both a little scared, both very nervous. In In a Heartbeat, they’re not swaying softly. They’re comfortable with each other, even when they’re just getting over a fight.

The difference between this dance and the homecoming is small but so different. 

Just a little reminder that you are loved and you matter and being you is okay because you are you and you are special and full of magic. Just be you because you are enough. 

[dilfmas]

Haha I agree with anon they couldn’t have done a better wlw couple as mayla but like you said what we meant was if they wanted to us to only worship their couples and not mayla who is superior they could have tried to create one of their own.

But yeah they could have tried (that would have been something at least) but they would never had done better (or even good) than mayla. Because when we see tiffax and jolal… I don’t understand what people see in tiffax… like max doesn’t know tiff (the only thing he knows about her is that she’s a bitch) and in a week he sings a song declaring his love to her… like you said the only thing there is between them is attraction. We never know what push them together apart if it’s physical attraction (and that’s not what an iconic couple could base their relationship on).

About jolal, they had quite a good build up in s7, but in s8 jo is sooo mean, what makes them fall for each other? We don’t know.

So yeah they could have tried and at least we could accord them that but what would have been better is if they had developed mayla in a healthy way and if they had not wanted to break them up at any cost.

yeah totally agree, they never could have done better than mayla but at least they could have tried lmao

and like with tiffax/jolal… i have this conspiracy theory that anyone that genuinely enjoys either or both of those ships just genuinely doesn’t actually like or respect one of the characters in them skdkskd

like with jolal, it’s obviously be bilal bc jo took over his season and was so horrible to him, like if you love or respect bilal, i cannot understand why you would want him to be with her??? like yeah i think jo went through a personality transplant between s6 and 7 and i think s6 jo with bilal would be great (like i did actually like them in s9 bc i felt like jo was way more like her original character in s9), but while their buildup in s7 may have been good, the way they actually got together was just bad skdkdk

and with tiffax, i have to assume that you have no respect or actually like max, because for one he also went through a personality transplant between s6 and s7, but like not only does the way they start have to be based on attraction, but max literally chooses to defend tiff over one of his best friends like skdkd also anaïs, tiff’s best friend, is transphobic, and on top of all that, isn’t there that whole thing where max said he wasn’t ready for sex and then tiff showed up with a sex toy like 💀💀💀 like it does not make sense to me how you could love or respect max and also ship tiffax skdkekd

but yeah they had every opportunity to either rebuild mayla in a healthy way or make their own wlw ship to try and replace them as they chose neither option lmao

[andromedarune]

Hello! A nsfw for Leon please! His female s/o has a new job that has her wearing stockings and heels. He didn't see her leave that morning, so when she meets him, Raihan, and friends for dinner, he is shook. S/o: what a day, I can't wait to take these (stockings and heels) off! Leon, not thinking: I can do that for you S/o and everyone: ... (Raihan is crackling) Leon, still going: or I take everything else off and leave those Cue terrible blushing and the pair leaving early. Thank you

A/N: Okay, THIS is a cute fucking prompt! I mean, even though it took me like 4 days of agony to write (don’t ask me why, bc I can’t give you an answer lolol), I really think this was a super fun prompt. But I’m not too sure if what I’ve written was decent or the idea you had in mind, but I tried! I hope it’s readable!

“Uniform” - Leon x Reader

“When’s your lady supposed to get here?”

Leon swatted Raihan’s shoulder, trying to ignore the rising urge to look around the area one more time.

“She’s just getting out of work, probably. But it’s not too far from here so she shouldn’t be long.”

Ah, fuck it. Leon glanced around, scanning the plaza one more time. You said you’d be joining the two of them later that day. Leon let himself smile just a little bit at the idea of the three of you finally getting to wind down after a busy day, watching the sunset from the fountain in the middle of Wyndon. Most people were returning home by now, so the three of you likely wouldn’t be disturbed. It was a perfect way for him to finally spend some time with his two best friends.

When you and Leon first started dating, he was actually a bit worried to see how you would interact with some of his friends. Sure, you were nice and sweet to most everyone, but he had dealt with plenty of partners that turned face wickedly fast if they felt that Leon might care for someone else more. So far, that definitely wasn’t the case with you. You were nice to literally everyone - one of the main reasons he couldn’t help but fall in love with you. It was nice not having to choose between a romantic partner and your friends.

That being said, it was always a spectacle when you, him, and Raihan got to hang out together. Most of the time, it’s just you holding the boys back from doing something insanely stupid (like the time they considered jumping in an elevator, or the time they wanted to jump into a pitch-black Dynamax hole to see how deep it was). Sometimes, Raihan would decide to mess with Leon and joke with you; it eventually became a running joke that you would leave Leon for Raihan and run away to Cinnabar Island in Kanto together. While Leon was more than confident that Raihan wouldn’t do that and that you wouldn’t leave him, the man couldn’t help but get that little twinge of worry in his chest. You always said that you loved his shyness when it came to displaying affection in public, and you always said that he was the best partner you’d ever had. So why was he worried? Little bits of jealousy would spike up in his chest everytime Raihan jokingly wrapped an arm over your shoulder, or picked you up off the ground in a tight hug. You always reassured him that you and Raihan were just messing with him, and he knew for a fact that you weren’t cheating, so why was he worried?

“What’s with the face?”

Leon turned back to his best friend, trying to erase all evidence of his troubled thinking.

“What face?”

Raihan snickered, leaning back on his hands as he gave the champion a toothy grin.

“That face. You’re all scrunched up like you’re pissed or something.”

Leon slapped a hand over his face, giving it a quick rub before dropping his hand back down to his thigh. The dragon tamer belted a laugh, nudging his friend in the shoulder.

“Come on, mate - what’s the matter? Don’t tell me you’re worried that your girl is five minutes late.”

“It’s not that,” Leon said a bit too quickly, shaking his head as Raihan turned his body to fully face the champion. “It’s just… I don’t know. I’m just… worried, I guess.”

“About what?”

“About… Like… I don’t know. I can’t help but think that I’m not doing enough for her. I mean, she moved all the way from Wedgehurst just to move in with me, and she had to get a new job here. She’s changed her entire life just to be with me, and I - I don’t know - I feel like I’ve hardly lifted a finger.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Raihan slapped Leon’s shoulder, gripping his friend as if that would assuage his fears. “Mate, come on. She’s doing all this stuff because she loves you. And give yourself some more credit: you were the one who helped her get that job in the first place, and you’re always trying to find the perfect gifts for her. Besides, if she really had a problem with the relationship, she would’ve said something by now.”

Leon managed a nod. Raihan wasn’t wrong; after all, he’s usually the first person Leon goes to whenever he needs help finding a gift for you. And while Leon mentioned that you didn’t necessarily need to work, that he’d take care of you financially, he was also incredibly supportive when you affirmed that you still wanted to work. He called in a couple favors, and eventually landed you an interview at an esteemed business firm. Today was your first day, and Leon wanted to hear all about it, hoping that you liked it well enough. Where were you, anyway?

“Besides,” Raihan pulled back, opting to gaze up at the orange sun that was working its way behind the tops of skyscrapers, “she’s totally stuck on you. I know we probably mess with you a bit too much, but believe me when I say that she’d sooner shoot herself than break her commitment to you. And I wouldn’t do you dirty like that.”

That was just enough to pull Leon’s spirits up a tad. He offered a kind look to his best friend.

“Thanks, Raihan. I needed that.”

“But you could stand to be a bit more brave.” Leon pursed his lips; just like Raihan to build up Leon’s ego before knocking the wind out of his sails. “I mean, you two hardly ever hold hands in public. Much less kiss. How’s anyone supposed to know that she’s off-limits?”

Ah, well, Leon couldn’t refute that. He nodded, resting his hand on his chin to debate more on that idea. However, the sound of heels in the distance caught his attention.

“Hey guys - sorry I’m late!” Leon spun around, eager to meet your vibrant eyes, only to nearly choke on his spit at the sight of you. “I didn’t realize how slow I was in heels.”

Leon never really considered himself an outfit kind of guy. He always appreciated your extra effort in how you dressed sometimes, but internally he felt that there was nothing better than seeing you down to the skin. However, with those black stockings that no doubt had a garter belt attached, and that brand new pair of black pumps, he was beginning to reconsider.

“You, in heels?” Raihan snickered, ignoring the blank expression on Leon’s face. “That’s a change.”

“I know, I know. Trust me, I would’ve rather worn my flats, but policy says that girls have to wear these dumb heels and skirts. But at least it’s cute.”

“Totally,” Raihan elbowed the champion. Leon blinked a couple times, struggling to focus his eyes on your well-made face and not, well, everything else. Definitely not the blouse that draped like fine silk around your chest, nor the tight pencil skirt that hung perfectly around your curves. But oh Arceus, those stockings and heels…

When it became obvious that Leon.exe was still troubleshooting, you let out a small sigh, trying to distract yourself from the way he seemed outright hypnotized by every movement your legs made.

“Yeah, but I’m exhausted from wearing this all day. I can’t wait to get home and take these damn stockings and heels off.”

Leon blinked.

“I can do that for you.”

Raihan snapped his head towards Leon, a surprised smile on his face at the boldness of Leon’s words. You practically flushed red from head to toe. A part of you wanted to race over there to smack Raihan, who was desperately covering his mouth to hide his snickers, but the other part of you was a bit nervous to get within arm’s distance of your normally shy boyfriend. But Leon didn’t seem to be thinking, as he continued.

“Or we can just get rid of everything else and the tights and heels can stay. Take your pick.”

You could only stare back with a bewildered smile, unable to force the corners of your lips down. Normally you’re the one embarrassing him in public, and now??? Raihan continued to laugh, having to shove his head into his hands while Leon kept a serious expression.

“Y-you’re… you’re kidding, right?” you tried to laugh it off.

“No. Pick one.”

You squeaked in surprise, shooting your eyes down to the pavement below to try and steady your beating heart.

“Th-then… I guess… option 2?”

You could hear Leon chuckle from where he resided, and eventually felt him swing an arm around you once he got close enough.

“Change of plans - Raihan, you’re on your own, mate.”

You attempted to cover your face in your hands.

“L-Leon!”

Raihan gave a thumbs up. You could only cling to your overexcited boyfriend as he dragged you down the street, ready to take action for his bold words. Leon was really starting to like the idea of you coming home to him in that outfit everyday. And judging by the flustered grin on your face, he figured that you were, as well.

[asotin]

tobirama might be madara and other thoughts tobirama doesn't want to have

(i tried to organize this and not to get too repetitive or go on a huge tangent about the details of hashirama and tobirama’s strained sibling relationship beyond the way they tie into tobirama and madara, but it’s a ~3k monster and i am but a simple nerd)

ftr i don’t think that everything here is the correct interpretation of what was happening, but i do think it's how tobirama saw things

to get to why tobirama is shit scared of madara, i think you have to begin with when they’re kids and look at his relationship with hashirama because that’s where the seeds of bad choices to come are planted

1.

tobirama prioritizes hashirama. he can think for himself and doesn’t completely follow hashirama’s directions, but lbr he works within the framework of the things hashirama wants and builds. if hashirama had changed his mind and decided that peace was unattainable, tobirama wouldn’t have left him to start a village on his own. he would have stayed with his brother and kept fighting

madara and hashirama being pulled apart started all the shit, but it was tobirama and izuna who tattled and made that happen

why was tobirama following hashirama in the first place? because butsuma told him to? fuck no. he followed hashirama for the same reason izuna followed madara: his brother has been sneaking off without telling him. hashirama is keeping secrets, even from tobirama

you know what makes you feel like shit? guilt

tobirama made hashirama miserable because he did what he was supposed to do and told butsuma about hashirama’s secret friend (read: he did what a jealous kid does and tattled)

from the start of their friendship, hashirama chose madara. he had to stick with tobirama because they’re brothers, but hashirama wanted madara to be in his life because he liked madara

sure, hashirama chose to die before he chose to kill tobirama but what if those hadn’t been the options? what if madara had told hashirama to choose between madara and tobirama?

both of their younger brothers get killed by madara’s family, but hashirama won’t stop talking about his friend who he should have killed but won’t

tobirama killed izuna like he was supposed to but hashirama won’t kill madara

you know what else feels really bad? the possibility that the brother you love and built your life around might hate you but you can’t be sure one way or the other

hashirama is ready to abandon everything for madara, but he doesn’t really acknowledge tobirama. one of the things tobirama is known for- being a sensor- only comes up later, when hashirama mocks him for not noticing that orochimaru has hashirama’s cells. it's sort of brotherly ribbing but because he's never been shown doing that before or joking with anyone other than madara, it feels more barbed than it normally would

hashirama in general kind of ignores tobirama until they butt heads

maybe it's because there isn't a parallel character to tobirama, but tobirama’s scale of someone’s worth is based on hashirama being at the top, while hashirama doesn't think about tobirama at all outside one moment in the flashback where he thinks about wanting to keep his brothers safe

hashirama, who trusted a stranger because he was playing in a river, doesn’t think much of tobirama, and that’s where the fear starts

why doesn’t hashirama like him? what isn't tobirama seeing?

why can’t hashirama forgive tobirama for telling butsuma?

why was it wrong for tobirama to kill izuna when izuna would have killed him?

madara, who wanted to build konoha and loved hashirama (even if you read it as platonic, if they don’t love each other, what the fuck is up between them bc that relationship wasn’t built on superficial trauma bonding), can be forgiven for turning against the village

why is what tobirama did worse than what madara did?

why does hashirama get so fucked up about madara even though madara tried to kill him, but he gets mad at tobirama for being wary of the people who’ve been trying to kill them (and who they’ve been trying to kill) for generations?

the fear of being replaced by madara is already there, and it only grows as hashirama mourns himself into an early death bc he wouldn’t have done that over tobirama

now add to that what happened when madara turned against konoha. more accurately, what didn’t happen

i’m repeating myself here but if tobirama and hashirama had worked together (if hashirama had called for him to help because tobirama has no business hopping into a throwdown between hashirama and madara and he knew it), they could have subdued madara without killing him (technically madara didn’t die, because izanagi or w/e but they didn't know that). hashirama didn’t want to kill madara. he explicitly, specifically did not want to kill madara and only did after madara pushed him into it

so why didn’t hashirama ask for tobirama’s help? if he’s at the point where he’d kill anyone who threatened the village (which i don’t reeeeeally buy as true bc it feels a lot more like something hashirama told himself to make killing madara less, you know, devastating) wouldn’t he prioritize stopping madara as soon as possible? he never showed any doubt in tobirama’s abilities, so if he wasn’t scared of his brother getting killed, why wouldn’t he call tobirama up?

because he doesn’t trust tobirama

hashirama doesn’t distrust other people. he wants to be friends with anyone. madara was attempting to stir up an insurrection, and hashirama still tried to keep him in the village. but he won’t rely on tobirama

so the fear expands

you know what tobirama doesn’t have? friends. a romantic interest. anything for himself as he grows that isn’t wrapped up in hashirama

this man likes rules. that was how he imagined the ideal ninja world. people make agreements and abide by them

if the founders era is an analog to the sengoku period ie the end of the muromachi period, which it is, then it’s worth noting that at this point in its history, real world japan was transitioning from the system of multiple heirs to a single heir. that wasn’t necessarily the oldest, but when one of your kids is a fucking brick shithouse with a kekkei genkai that’s never occurred before but rebellious and the other one is a genius who would be willing to follow through on your family’s blood feud but a) is loyal to his brother and b) has the charisma of a clammy handshake, who are you picking?

no way did tobirama expect to be made heir and imo he wouldn’t have wanted to be. hashirama is good at being the emotional leader and rallying people bc they like him. tobirama isn’t that interested in being the powerful one bc he’s more of a kingmaker

but you know it occurred to him that butsuma should want him to be the heir. hashirama isn’t exactly reliable and he sure doesn’t want to kill uchihas. tobirama would and he’d do it well

even the he doesn’t actually want the role, when you’re like 16 and your brother who you think is naive and lbr incompetent gets picked- something nobody does bc tobirama is, you know, a dick- it’s going to feel significant

so the fear grows more. he doesn’t want to be the head of the clan, but if he’s the one who could carry out butsuma’s plans, why is he still the second choice?

2.

speaking of butsuma and childhood trauma, it’s kind of interesting that tobirama winds up dealing with uchihas the same way he defused butsuma, philosophically

in terms of their behavior, to a traumatized kid who never made any uchiha friends, uchihas could resemble a certain senju, you know?

volatile, self-prioritizing, self-cannibalizing (fighting within the clan, not literal flesh eating), powerful by standing on the backs of others (no way was fugaku the first to think 'i'll show my kid what mass death looks like and that will make him strong.' the sharingan awakens through painful experiences, and uchihas are even more obsessively devoted to their clan than tobirama is to his. but paradoxically, they were ready to double down on inbreeding and blinding themselves to use izanagi, so they wouldn't be above deliberately exacerbating the trauma their kids couldn’t escape anyway for the sake of getting an edge)

to an adult tobirama, the uchihas sure could seem like a clan of butsumas, huh

how did tobirama deal with butsuma? he got in between him and hashirama. and how did butsuma react? he left to cool down (but i’d bet he never really repented, esp bc hitting hashirama wasn’t surprising to any of them)

what does tobirama do with the uchihas? he gets in between them and konoha. if they’re angry with him, they aren’t angry at konoha. he gives them something else to focus on- and tobirama likes rules, so it isn’t that much of a reach to say he’d think that being trusted to be the people keeping the peace was actually an honor- and relocates them. now they can cool off (but their fundamental nature will never really change)

i definitely don’t think most of that is conscious, but you know. he didn’t trust his father and if that’s who he relates the uchihas to, that’s fertile ground for another type of fear

butsuma was fine letting tobirama’s brothers die. what’s to stop the uchihas from letting konoha die?

konoha is entrusted to tobirama. again, though, he isn’t hashirama’s first choice

now he’s afraid of the village falling apart because of madara and his family (read: because tobirama can’t keep them in line) and hashirama’s dream will die because of tobirama

3.

you know what’s a bad idea? fucking around with corpses. you know what else is a bad idea? war crimes. you know what tobirama’s got a lot of? bad ideas

tobirama is intelligent and more concerned with the end result than the way to get there. he has a backwards idea of what protecting people means and a brutal approach to making peace. he loves hashirama (not like madara does but still, you know. he does love his brother)

the major difference between tobirama and madara is the sharingan, which should put madara in a separate class, but the thing is, tobirama is butsuma’s son

you awaken the sharingan by getting hurt. you’re butsuma’s son by learning to do the hurting

there’s a persistent fear that can grow with that knowledge, which i think tobirama wrestled with until he decided it doesn't actually matter- except for the fact that it would matter to hashirama. coupled with the fear that hashirama sees butsuma in tobirama and that’s why he won’t trust tobirama, that isn’t something tobirama could think his way out of

he might be doing the same thing butsuma did, causing harm for nothing

that fear is further compounded by the knowledge that madara would have destroyed everything and tobirama could do the same. without hashirama to argue with him, tobirama can do what he thinks is right. he knows more about making systems that last than hashirama did, so he’s going to put structures into place that will make sure the village survives

the thing is though, tobirama is well aware that madara isn't cruel for the hell of it. he says flat out that madara is dangerous because he loves so much; that intense love got twisted without madara wanting it to be (more below). he let it happen, but he didn’t just choose it

madara isn't just dangerous because he's strong. he's dangerous because he's the only person even hashirama can't just push around and he's personally invested in what he's doing. he believes that what he’s doing is right; he’s invested in being right

he’s following logic. it isn’t good logic by any stretch, but he isn’t just causing chaos just to cause chaos

tobirama follows logic, too. it’s better than madara’s logic because almost anything would be

he’s living his life for the purpose of maintaining hashirama’s dream. tobirama wanted peace, too, but he doesn’t call konoha his dream. konoha is hashirama’s dream. konoha is hashirama's village. tobirama is just trying to make it work

after all, he told butsuma and killed izuna. the least he owes hashirama is the village he wanted. not fun how hashirama would but run better because tobirama knows better

and lbr tobirama is also the second choice for the villagers. constantly standing in hashirama's shadow and feeling the distance between how loved hashirama was and how distantly appreciative the villagers are of tobirama could perhaps be alienating

4.

tobirama can’t protect konoha from madara because he knows he couldn’t beat madara on his own. hashirama and madara know that, too. everybody knows that if it came down to it, a fight between madara and tobirama would go in madara’s favor

madara has the same attitude but about the inevitability of people hurting each other

tobirama can’t control madara. madara can’t control people

the only way to be safe around something you can’t control is to destroy it

tobirama understands madara better than he understands hashirama. hashirama’s dream is impossible. it’s based on thinking people are better than they are. madara isn't right, but he isn't entirely not right

madara was the biggest threat to konoha, and because tobirama isn’t hashirama, he can’t do anything about that except, as the time between hashirama’s and his own grows, understand madara better

5.

this isn’t canonical but it isn’t non-canonical and i think it works so it's going in

tobirama’s palette swap happened because he found out how/why uchihas’ get the sharingan and in his child soldier brain that doesn’t know anything about genetics (but maybe did???), it seemed like a very sound idea to, you know, try to traumatize himself into developing a sharingan as a senju

but he has the wrong ¼ alien’s blood so he doesn’t get the handy dandy cursed eyeballs. what does he get?

obviously, he got his iconic look, tumblr user asotin. you just mentioned the palette swap

i did, and he definitely got his new style. but he got more than that

specifically: a terrifying insight into what uchihas have to feel when they awaken the sharingan. bc he didn’t get the eye upgrade but he did fuck himself up enough to flood his chakra system with pain and turn his eyes red (sadness makes you pale ig? he’s a nerd so maybe he just stayed inside and didn’t eat well. idk and that part is just to enhance how much more he looks like an uchiha than hashirama, who got the ‘be careful who you call ugly in middle school’ bonus)

the amount of emotional distress it took to get there? the shit he had to make himself watch? the things he had to make himself do?

if an uchiha feels that kind of pain just to form the basic sharingan, which isn’t as fucked up as the mangekyo, then please consider how that would feel to a kid whose coping mechanism is repressing

6.

there are rules about what you do in war and in society. tobirama likes rules. tobirama thinks rules will keep peace

so how could he justify violating almost all the rules to make edo tensei? i would like to propose that it isn’t just hypocrisy or machiavellianism taken to an extreme that made it acceptable to him to do everything that must have entailed. i propose that it’s all the fears above and a trauma response that everybody and their grandma knows now but they probably didn’t in the ninja sengoku period:

if you think i’m bad, i may as well be

in his conscious mind, tobirama isn’t bad. he’s necessary. the whole time he’s hokage, he’s doing what needs to be done

in trying to do what a good brother would do, in accepting that there’s something about him that’s malfunctioning, in accepting that his brother will never approve of him, tobirama accidentally became the worst parts of madara

madara did what he did out of love for other people. he’s got the mangekyo and a dead brother. tobirama knows what it’s like to get the first sharingan. how much worse must it feel to get the mangekyo?

tobirama is dispassionate and logical. he isn’t an uchiha. he values kagami and the other, unnamed uchihas who could overcome the curse of hatred, but that's also a condemnation of himself

tobirama couldn't overcome his own hatred. he’s worse than they are, and he knows he is

everything tobirama tried to do better, he made worse. his legacy, the students who carried on his work, nearly destroyed konoha

if hashirama had been forced to choose between tobirama and madara, it would have been better if hashirama had chosen madara. everyone is thinking that

madara betrayed hashirama because he loved so much it turned him against hashirama

tobirama betrayed hashirama because he didn’t have enough love, and every time he’s looked at madara, he’s seen his own inadequacy

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

today on the “am i the asshole?” reddit:

the body education page that i follow on fb posted this yesterday and i was grossed out. when will men stop trying to police girls/women’s choices and bodies??? can someone please explain to me how a 13yo choosing to use/a mother showing her daughter how to use tampons is sexualising a 13yo???? i’m pretty sure you’re the only one who thinks that, mr AITA.

like i could concede and say that 13 is a bit early for tampons... because, hell, i still don’t use them often, or at all if i can help it; and i’m in my 20s.... but if your daughter is comfortable with them at 13, then good for her. and also. if she’s asking about birth control, maybe she’s having trouble with her period pain??? maybe she’s asking early- a few years early to boot- to know the options of birth control she has when she’s old enough? that’s a smart kid. not a child who is “using it as an excuse to become sexually active.” because i didn’t even ask my doctor about birth control/the pill until i was literally 20!!! and that was because i had shoddy asf sex ed in catholic school, that dodged around the pill ALL THE TIME even in science class- which is the one place where you’d think catholic school could teach sex ed on an okay level- but they didn’t. or maybe she wants it just for acne? that’s another reason i went on birth control: to help get rid of my bad cystic acne caused by my painful periods/fucky hormones. and it did the job.

i didn’t even tell my friends about my period pain until i changed schools at 16/17. or even tell my family until about 19/20. mostly this is all because i didn’t know how to word it. and at the time, i didn’t know if my friends in catholic school from years 7-10 would have believed me- since i did have a fairly iffy attendance record that i’m pretty sure they were sick & tired of covering for me with excuses like “flu” etc nearly every month.

the fact that your daughter is asking about the pill or other BC options at 13 is brave imo, considering that i was too awkward to even talk about it with my own doctor- YES. MY OWN DOCTOR- until i was an adult.... and this is coming from someone who had to skip school nearly every month throughout high school; because her periods were so fucking debilitating and painful that she couldn’t move or was literally physically throwing up most cycles that she didn’t want to go to school for a week to a week and a half- so that she could avoid questions from both her fellow students and her teachers.

the reason i had to ask for birth control in the end at 20 was because i realised that if i ever got a good grad job or an internship in sydney... i couldn’t be found passed out on a fucking office bathroom floor (like i was doing in 2012/2013 at tafe/technical college when i forced myself to go so as to not affect my attendance record to risk failing years 11 & 12) at least 1hr 50mins (instead of 25mins at tafe) from home at the shortest travel to central syd- trying to ease my period pain with the coolness of the tiles- along with staff freaking out like “are you sure you don’t need medical assistance or an ambulance???” or “your periods can’t be that bad. suck it up, get up and get back to work.” like thanks, janet from the social media accounts team. how about you have my fucky ovaries instead and tell me how you like it??? but anyway. me? experience the pure mortification of dealing with that on an internship??? no fucking way. the thought of throwing up on my boss’s/supervisor’s shoes just bc my periods were like “good luck holding down your lunch 😅😁!!!”???? utterly horrifying.

i needed birth control. i absolutely NEEDED to go on the pill (or get an IUD etc etc). and thank god i fucking admitted that to myself and my doctor at that point. because otherwise, i wouldn’t be able to function during my period week- like at all. but with the pill??? it’s gone. all gone. except for the headaches and bad cramps. but they’re few and far between now. as is the throwing up- which happens once every blue moon. but. i can do shit. i can move. i can exercise. i no longer absolutely dread the arrival of my period every month, like i did in my teens. it’s been a great turn around for my mental health/well-being and my social life; as well as and my overall health and well-being.

like, sir, if your daughter has periods like my periods were in high school..... that’s probably why she’s asking about the pill/other birth control. because most of the time, taking multiple advil tablets at once, and sometimes twice a day.... and then laying in bed all day because your period pain and headache etc are that awful that it’s better if you don’t have to fucking move or think all day..... is no fucking way for a teenager to live her life. literally dreading your period every month bc you don’t know just how bad it’ll be, is no fun for a teenage girl, either.

obviously i’m making huge assumptions about this guy’s daughter. but still. the guy is a fucking asshole. plus if you think that your wife is sexualising your daughter by showing her how to use tampons, you’re the one with the fucking creep issue. not your wife.