#basically i think f+c probably needed like a couple more episodes but that's a whole nother post so idc. I'm fine with jt

[kingofdinosaurs]

personal take on the fionna and cake ending is that I'm actually kinda fine with simon not having a scene with marcy in the credits. not because they're not important to each other or anything, the star was basically an entire episode about that, but like. from the very beginning of simon's involvement in the miniseries it's like made clear that the support system he HAS is like. 3 people one of whom is also in desperate need of support and the others just... can't always be there. marcy has a life! the tattoo scene mattered because she was HAPPY! she's got her own stuff going on! i liked that the credits seemed to be more about simon reaching out to other people than about relying on the support he already had, because part of the issue was that that just... wasn't sustainable. it's good that he's finding people and meaning outside of the people he knew before becoming ice king. he's moving on, for real. he's actually living life, instead of just... existing.

[supercharmed-forever-mine]

Today I will be addressing SuperCorp and some of the issues that have been floating around about fandom. And I will be saying some stuff that both is for it and could be used against it even though I am ultimately a super big supercorp fan. Like it says in the tags you're free to express your opinion but they will not be changing mine but I am always open-minded to opinions that can actually be explained and eloquently expressed (receipt's needed) and aren't just basic. Also just so what is noted I have been a part of this fandom since the first episode I have literally shipped Kara with everyone from Lucy to Cat even James.But Lena has just stuck out the most for me but I'm Equal opportunity.

Number #1, Lena's character in no way shape or form has ever been xenophobic she has never once shown any hate towards aliens her problem with Kara in season 5 Wasn't because she was an alien it was because she was a "Super" like Kara could have been a flying purple fucking octopus from the planet of shzjxfdf and Lena wouldn't have gave two fucks but no she was a "Super"but let's dig deeper on that point if we really look at why she was mad it wasn't even the whole alien aspect it was because she wasn't told and no I don't think she's entitled to it but I do think it played into the fact of a trust issue she has with the fact that people would think she would be just like Lex if she had been told Sooner. Which is disproved in 5x13 (also personal note: I also think she wouldn't have reacted half as bad if Kara had just told her that night at game night or the next day when she wanted to probably still would have been pissed but not to the same extent). But okay with that being said I do disagree with the kryptonite entrapment torture scene and basically half the s*** she did in season 5 it was shown that she truly can tap into her Luthor side and be dark when wanted but fortunately she does always return to the light and in all fairness it has been shown several times that Kara has a dark side of her own that could rival the luthors.

Number #2, I do disagree with the abuse of actresses and actors just because of a ship and or character they play don't blame them it's just a job they have I think Melissa and Katie do a beautiful job of bringing Kara and Lena's characters to life couldn't imagine anybody else playing them.

Number #3, I also will say about the reason bombarding of comments on Nicole's social media at least I saw the video via tiktok in that video was fucking hilarious I love Nia, Dreamer,and Nicole in general she's funny and beautiful and is an advocate for everything good in life and well it is normal to even ask other actors if they have the scoop on anything it does not mean we need to be bombarding them in videos on something relating to their character or their love of something a simple comment or so maybe but what I saw NO.

Number #4, The William of it all well I think though his character seems like a nice gentleman he also seems to be bland as hell also I did not know he was a POC to be honest I thought he was a tan white man and we'll be doing further research on people in the future as I can learn from my ignorance also but unrelated I did not know that the woman who played Maggie was apparently just a tan white woman I thought she was of some sort of Hispanic descent but apparently not according to various things I've read on here tonight... But anyways back to William I feel like a lot of people might have perceived him as a white man therefore that might play into the whole scenario of people hate that they just want two white woman together when it proves if she was a man they wouldn't give two f**** about it whether that's true or not I don't know but mine two cents.

Number #5, I will never bash someone for being for or against a certain ship and or character and well I am allowed to certainly disagree with their opinion all opinions are valid because we all see the world a different way some see it bright and shiny and others like I'll admit myself see it through the glasses of trauma. And I think that's why we all have the opinions we do most of the time when you like a shipper character it's because you relate to them somehow even if it's the most minor thing to someone else it might be huge for you. You never know what the person on the other side of the screen is going through in those characters or ship or fanfiction might have literally saved their lives.

Sidenote: Like okay personal story I was been both mentally and sexually abused as a child so I relate to both Kara and Lena respective childhood trauma so that draws me to them. And I kind of see them both as the opposite attract trope (two side of the same coin) because well we never fully get over trauma Kara had a great support system with the Danvers whereas Lena didn't get that with the luthors I mean sure she had Lex at first but even that was only to a certain extent because of his psychopathy that was starting to manifest he couldn't perceive human emotions the same as Lena who in my opinion is just a big mushy nerd who can be a badass when needed as evident by the season 6 episodes after she's quit L-Corp she's constantly trying to help out inventing new stuff and she's wondering how Nia's suit works and it just shows that she just has a curious mind and also she looks happier even with the guilt she feels over Kara's phantom zone incident when Nia called her a part of the family that smile could lit up a city all she's ever wanted is to belong and I can relate to that therefore to her.

Number #6, I feel like this should have been addressed in earlier number but as far as sexuality goes I would want to believe Kara is pansexual because of everything I've ever read and saw I don't believe she perceived sexuality like humans do because of her Kryptonian upbringing for the first good chunk of the life. Like even though she says she's not gay in the first episode, A. It was the first episode so they didn't even know where the story was going in future seasons if they got them also that means maybe she just didn't perceive herself as the Earth's definition of gay. B. Even in the first season she made a comment about how she bought Lucy was gorgeous and hell she would date her. C. She made some comments about Irma and other woman that don't sound totally heterosexual and don't get me wrong women can admire the beauty and intelligence of other women without it being sexual but as a bisexual woman it just struck a cord in me you can tell the difference when it's coming from a straight woman mouth. Now on the subject of her and Lena strictly I do think there are instances of "queerbaiting"because just because you perceive they haven't been promised to us doesn't mean that some of us haven't picked up on things or the fact that they're simply queerbating because somehow they do hype up Kara and Lena to keep a nice chunk of the audience who ships them mainly those of the gay variety interested in the show which is also considered queerbaiting. Also the fact that they've been called sisters or family or my personal favorite "that's what friends are for"doesn't mean crap because honestly at this point the overuse of friends just sounds more like they're trying to convince themselves than us.*** Also I don't know about you but even on the basic level of things they've done I've never shown half those feelings towards my friends and the ones I have it's because I started to think of them as more than friends.

Now with Lena's sexuality no they have never shown her as anything besides straight canonically but don't get me wrong she totally sends off that college experimentation vibe especially with Andrea for some reason but that may just be me.

Number #7, my main point is let's just be kind to one another because guess what there is toxicity from every ship in a fandom there will always be shitty people on both sides and then there will be those of us who just want to see the characters together for one reason or another and yes I'm not afraid to admit that part of my reasons I want to see two gorgeous woman kiss sue me LOL.

Number #8, the conclusion of my rant is that how about we leave the hating to the ones who want to do that and the rest of us like adults or whatever your age is in the fandom that has any type of maturity behave because I truly do wish the best and in the end well I hope they end up together I'm realistic that they probably won't especially due to the CW Network motto of "homophobia and racism"because they've already broken up several good gay and interracial couples on that show. But at the end of the day my true wish is just that all of the characters end up happy and healthy.

Best of luck to all shippers out there anti and supercorp and or any other couple alike may we try to make it out of this with a modicum of sanity and even if they fail us we always have fanfiction thank you and good night.

[chalkrevelations]

Episode 31 of Word of Honor, and in many ways OH MY GOD YES, but also, no, show, wtf?

As in, wt actual f is going on? Literally, what is happening?

(Spoilers, so scroll away and come back later, if you need to.)

So, first thing’s first: I feel like this one may end up a bit short, because a lot of it is likely to be just a bunch of keysmash flailing? (EDIT: No, I just came back up here to the top from the bottom, because this is NOT AT ALL any shorter than usual.) I’ll attempt a bit more than exclamation points and worry over whether my poor heart is able to take this, but we’ll see how it goes, because the first thing I’m going to do is say I knew it! and I told you so! I knew you weren’t planning to die, Zhou Zishu. I did call you a liar after Ep 30, and I was right. I mean, what’s the point of having the terrifying master of the Ghost Valley as your boyfriend husband if he’s not going to rescue you after you’ve been kidnapped for attempted ravishment by the evil prince? And get you the best wedding present ever, i.e., a bunch of new disciples? Omg, Zhou Zishu’s face when Wen Kexing finally calls himself a disciple of Four Seasons Manor! (I think he’s so overwhelmed, he doesn’t even realize when WKX calls him “shixiong” a minute before that!) Wen Kexing’s tiny pained smile that he just can’t seem to help when ZZS lays his hand on WKX’s head! That long shuddering breath ZZS lets out, and the way his shoulders just drop, like he’s finally let go of a huge weight! (The worry this brings me, because there are five and a half episodes left, my dude, and your husband is a troublemaker, and I would not be getting complacent, if I was you.) The fact that WKX has knelt to ZZS and called him zongzhu in front of the Ghost Valley contingent – there’s gotta be some political implications to that. Horseback riding! The way WKX keeps holding (up) ZZS! Lol at WKX being all, you all can leave now, we can take our honeymoon alone from here! ZZS knew he would come (I told you so)! Their smiles! Their soft little faces! (Merciless killers! How so fucking adorable?) The hairpin! MARRIED, Y’ALL. Censorship? I don’t know her. ANYWAY, that’s all just a bunch of flailing reaction to the first almost 20 minutes of emoporn. Also, Zhang Zhehan, you should not do suffering so pretty. It makes me feel like a bad person for still enjoying your face so much when your character is in so much physical and emotional distress.

Secondly, show. We need to talk. You should not be this opaque. I’m trying to piece together everything that’s happened in (vaguely) chronological order:

Sometime before dying (before breaking his heart meridians?), Han Ying tells Wen Kexing about the Four Seasons Remnants back with Prince Jin. All of Ep 30 happens, with Zhou Zishu and Xie Wang both making a mess of Awful Prince’s/Yifu’s plans. Xie Wang, the rest of the Scorpions, and the Ghost Valley team retreat back to a lair. Which lair? Who knows, at this point. Cao Weining talks to Fan Shishu. (He explicitly tells this to A-Xiang.) But does he also confront Mo Huaiyang? Because I feel like it must be significant that we get the same turn of phrase to describe Zhao Jing’s relationship with Xie Wang – asking a tiger for its skin – from Mo Huaiyang to Fan Shishu, and then attributed to Cao Weining when A-Xiang quotes it to WKX in the same ep. The show even emphasizes this for us to catch by drawing attention to A-Xiang’s use of it via her struggle to remember the idiom properly. (A. This episode’s convo between Mo Huaiyang and Fan Shishu, which is when we see Mo Huaiyang actually use the idiom, happens AFTER Cao Weining and Gu Xiang leave Gentle Wind Sword Sect. I went back and checked, and it is Mo Huaiyang who uses it, not Fan Shishu. B. In this same convo, Fan Shishu says he still needs to explain all this to the disciples somehow, so C. Was there a prior, unseen convo between just Cao Weining and Mo Huaiyang in which Mo Huaiyang practiced his excuses on poor, hapless Cao Weining first?)

Anyway, Cao Weining then goes to A-Xiang, who’s lit. and fig. in the dark at this point, in her rustic cabin outside the gated community. I notice Cinnamon Roll already has his bag packed. He is done. He lays out the current political web, and A-Xiang seems pretty sure of Liu Qianqiao’s ultimate loyalty to WKX. This is probably important in what happens next. Gu Xiang and Cao Weining decide to run away and elope but then … get captured and taken to the lair. On purpose? A-Xiang did see Liu Qianqiao with Xie Wang in the Secret Cave, standing shoulder to shoulder with Du Pusa as an apparent top-tier henchwoman, and she probably expects to be protected, but this seems like a pretty big gamble. I suppose you don’t survive the Ghost Valley without learning to take some risks. A-Xiang then leads Xie Wang and the Ghost Valley contingent to WKX (at burned-down Four Seasons Manor?) to, she says, let WKX take down Xie Wang. She notes Xie Wang’s use of some potion to control everyone – I assume the Drug Man potion, and I assume the monthly antidote is what’s keeping everyone in the Ghost Valley from going full Drug Man?

WKX and Xie Wang confer in secret. Probably about how much they both hate Awful Yifu. I mean, I assume Xie’er still hates Awful Yifu at this point, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? Probably a key point here: WKX is hiding whatever this was about from his husband. My dude, why are you still like this? I guess that explains the pained cast to that tiny little smile earlier. WKX then takes some of the Ghost Valley contingent and coordinates with the Four Seasons Remnants back in Prince Jin’s territory to rescue ZZS. Husband safely rescued, WKX now heads back to Ghost Valley, to … abdicate? He promises A-Xiang he’s going to come back safely, and my dude, I’m trying to believe you. I really am. I’m trying to have as much faith in you planning to be back all along as I had in ZZS not planning to die in Jin Palace all along, but here’s a key difference: HE LET YOU IN ON HIS PLAN. Which you were a key part of. I find your secrecy, by contrast, concerning.

Other things:

Love the little moment between Gu Xiang and Liu Qianqiao and Luo Fumeng when Beauty Ghost and Tragicomic Ghost turn to Xie Wang in righteous indignation and want to know what the fuck he thinks he’s doing to their little girl. Compare the reaction of these two moms to Happy Ghost being all, “Nope, this is a complete and total in with Wen Kexing right here in a pretty pink dress.” The show continues to draw a fairly bright line between the characterization of the women in the Department of the Unfaithful - who are terrorizing certain people, true, but also watching out for each other after ending up down on their luck – and the general run of men in Ghost Valley, who are basically rotten sociopaths straight out of Batman’s rogues gallery and will sell you out in a minute for their own gain. Yes, this has been made fairly explicit in Wen Kexing’s and A-Xiang’s commentary in past eps and later in this ep about trying to get the Department of the Unfaithful out of the line of fire while not caring if the jianghu burns down the rest of Ghost Valley, but this isn’t just favoritism or a whim, just some fond memories of Luo Fumeng being kind to them a couple of times in the past. I think there’s some commentary here on the kind of men who are so far gone they find themselves outside the bounds of “civilized” society and the kind of women who do – how much easier and quicker it is for a woman, that it could be any woman in the wrong circumstances, and how much further gone a man has to be than a woman to be considered a “devil.” We’ve seen these supportive interpersonal relationships among the women since Gu Xiang “adopted” her two girls in the first handful of episodes and told off Lovelace with the threat of Tragicomic Ghost – and the show is continuing to show it, not just tell it. It’s one of the things I’ve found frustrating about Wen Kexing a couple of times in past eps, when he’s trying to get A-Xiang’s two girls, or other women from the Department, to just leave and go do something else – I feel like even though WKX realizes their circumstances and their personalities are different from the rest of his Top Ten Devils, he’s not fully comprehending that they literally have nowhere else to go, that if they had any other options, they wouldn’t have ended up there in the first place. He called the two girls “puppies” when he talked about A-Xiang having to take care of them, but as Ghost Valley master, who’s enforced the independence of and protections for the Department of the Unfaithful, he’s walking away from his own basketful of puppies. Not to mention, this is one of the vanishingly small places in this particular version of the jianghu that we’ve seen women have any autonomy and power. I … think there may have been a few young female cultivators in Yueyang Sect, but while I’d have to go back and watch to be sure, I remember the Hero’s Conference being a whole bunch of men throwing their … weight around. Anyway, I also love that it looks like A-Xiang tries to kick Happy Ghost in the shin, because of course she does.

Visually, they had a cool thing going on there with the Tian Chuang behind WKX falling in concert with WKX lowering his fan, but they didn’t quite coordinate it enough, and then they cut away too soon. Bah. It was set up to be a very cool visual, if only they had committed to it. Meanwhile Duan Pengju, this asshole, omg. He’s trying to pull off the Collar of Evil and is not succeeding. Srsly, his Collar of Evil is droopy. It doesn’t stop him from monologuing like he’s the actual villain and not some sad-sack lackey. You showed the correct amount of amused disdain during your interaction, but I can’t believe you left him alive at the end of it, Wen Kexing.

I wasn’t really feeling Jing Beiyuan and Wu Xi up until this ep when Jing Beiyuan was teasing A-Xiang about her lack of shame over running away with her lover. OK, fine, you can stay, Qi Ye. Also, wow. Speaking of lack of shame, I can’t believe you just accused your husband of bride kidnapping right in front of everyone’s salads, because that is totally what just happened there.

So the band is (almost all) back together, minus Chengling, who has definitely found out in the worst possible way that one of his dads is the terrifying master of the Ghost Valley that massacred his family and sect. So, this should go well.

Lol at Xie’er lounging in Wen Kexing’s Ghost Valley master seat like some kind of consort. He’s already got a husband, Xie’er. One that would not be happy with a concubine running around, I think. I do wonder what the full scope of their plan/understanding is, bubbling away under this stare-down.

A note – WKX’s hair is styled differently in this ep in the Ghost Valley master scenes than it has been before. Previously, those side bangs were further forward and a little bit chunkier, which, I think, narrowed his face and also helped emphasize the wild-eyed look. They’re wispier and back further, now, which I think softens his face, even when he’s trying to look imposing. Makes him look more, dare I say, human.

And now, I’m going to go have a few Han Ying/Bi Xingming thoughts, actually. God, those months after ZZS left, can you imagine what that was like for them? Han Ying having watched those nails placed in Bi Xingming’s shifu in the first ep, and then having to turn around and go to Bi Xingming and tell him that ZZS was gone, with the seven nails in him? Both of them trying to hold the Four Seasons Remnants together – and then Ying-ge comes back one day and says he’s found ZZS? Mutual aid and comfort, my dudes. Also some projection. I’m just sayin’. Meet me, I guess - this kind of sideline action and extremely rare pair thing is how I tend to roll.

[xlovelybeanx]

✭ This show has completely wrecked my mental game up - so you know what I have to say to that?

...

✭Let’s write cute fan fiction about it in hopes that it’ll cure the sadness right out! (I doubt it..I have been crying over it for the past few months.)

✭Spoilers ahead! If you have not seen past episode 9, please do not read. If you still wanna read, that’s completely fine <3!

✭Also this is my first time writing something like this! I hope you guys like it.

——————————————————————————

Title: “Smile, my sunshine.”

Ship: AshEiji

Summary: Ash’s mind had been torn apart from that night - the night where he had to do such a disgraceful thing to his best friend - and has been restless ever since. Luckily, Eiji knows the right way to keep him happy.

WARNING: This is a tickle fic! There are mentions of death, and grief. Please be mindful when reading! Also, art doesn’t belong to me. (I wish I could draw like that.)

——————————————————————————

“Oi, Ash.”

Eiji pounded on his door once more, his tone growing frustrated with every time he had to come back and pound on this stupid door. The frown on his face was clear to see from miles away and his eyes were narrowed so low that he was afraid that he might end up breaking the door with how intense he was staring at it.

There would be no need for him to feel this way if somebody - Ash Lynx - would actually get up and go on with his day. Of course, if Eiji was in that situation, he wouldn’t want to get out of bed either - but Ash couldn’t act like the world was ending. He had to live on because life was ... just worth living.

And because somebody made breakfast, Eiji thought angrily to himself before grabbing the knob and twisting it harshly. Walking into the younger male’s room, everything looked ... almost perfect. Bed was made, curtains were semi-open, and the rest of his stuff was laying in a neat pile - just the way Eiji liked it.

But that lead the question - where was Ash?

Eiji almost went to call out his name, but stopped as he heard the soft trickle of water coming from the shower. Slowly making his way to the sound, he opened the door to find a sleep deprived child sitting in the tub with only his black underwear on. ... the elder’s eyes almost filled with pity. Walking over, the black haired boy tried to figure out what’s going on.

“Ash, talk to me.. did you get any sleep last night?” he asked, petting the top of his head softly. The blonde shook his head, a blank stare still stuck on his face.

“I couldn’t,” he admitted, wiping his eyes with a force that was even surprising to him. “...I c-couldn’t.. think about anything but him, Eiji...” the younger broke down in sobs, covering his face with his hands, feeling the soft patter of water on the back of his hands. It somehow seemed to comfort him, if only a little.

It would make sense that he didn’t get over Shorter’s death that quickly. But to think, for a guy to be almost broken over something he watches everyday - it tugged at the black haired boy’s heartstrings in a way that nothing has ever done before.

“...you should’ve just talked to me,” Eiji mumbled into his ear, closing his eyes as he rested his head on his shoulder. “I’m here for that reason, you know.” Ash looked up, his jade green eyes filled with an indescribable pain.

“I know..” he said, wiping the last of his tears on his wrist. The other nudged Ash’s arm and pointed toward the door. “...why don’t we cuddle so you can fall asleep?” He immediately shook his head. He looked as if he was going to die if he fell asleep - hence him sitting in the tub and hoping that it kept him awake.

“I’m not leaving you in the tub.” He crossed his arms, standing back up. The other leaned against the wall, blinking a couple of times to force himself to stay awake. Ash immediately looked up at him - there was a bright aura coming from him, as if he was the embodiment of sunshine itself. The other exhaled quickly, standing up with shaky legs. “..woah! Woah, careful now,” Eiji said, grabbing on to Ash’s arms when it seemed like he was going to fall.

“...I’m okay,” he said as he wrapped an arm around him. “Sit down,” Eiji ordered him as he sat on a seat they keep in their room. The younger obliged, reluctantly, watching as he got a towel from the bathroom and started drying his hair.

“...you’re depressed about ..it, aren’t you?”

The question caught Ash by surprise.

“...of course I am. .. he’s always been my best friend - I don’t think I’d be who I am without him. ...but when I saw you getting attacked by him, I knew I couldn’t just.. sit there and do nothing. I-It was so hard to pull the trigger. ..I almost couldn’t do it..” before he had realized it, the gang leader had been throwing out his feelings to the boy who stuck by him the entire time. “...I know I didn’t know Shorter that well,” Eiji started, finishing with his hair and moving down to his body. “...but I could tell how much he meant to you. Probably much more than me,” he said jokingly, hoping to brighten the mood. The blonde’s expression hadn’t changed from the sad frown he had on since he shot Shorter.

... what could I do to make him laugh, Eiji thought as he continued drying. Then he hit across something - something spectacular - and if it was true, well, maybe he would be able to get Ash out of this depressive situation that held him hostage.

“Ash~?”

“Eiji,” he mumbled, trying to be snarky and failing.

“Can I do something?”

“...sure, go ahead,” the blonde yawned as he stretched upwards, his whole body arching into the best stretch he’s ever had. This is when he took the time to seize his opportunity.

Eiji’s fingers travelled directly to his ribs, soft and delicate not to hurt him but to drive him wild with laughter instead. The reaction was instantaneous; Ash let out an unmanly squeak while one arm shot down to protect himself, the other to cover his mouth.

“...ohohokay, mind explaining that noise, Ash?” Eiji couldn’t keep himself from laughing like an idiot - the gang leader’s face was entirely red and he shook it, unable to say anything at the moment.

“Playing the strong, silent type, eh? Lucky for you, I win tickle fights with my sister all the time so I’m prepared. But the real question is, are you?” From Ash being so weak from not sleeping all night, he was actually quite surprised when the elder picked him up to the best of his ability and threw him on the bed, sitting on his waist with a snarky grin on his face.

“Ash, say, do you think you can smile? Just for me?”

“...please don’t,” Ash mumbled, his eyes closed and his whole face bright red - he didn’t want to know what came next.

“Don’t what?”

“Tickle me!”

Eiji’s grin only widened as the boy fell right into his trap. This is exactly where he wanted him to be - and he was playing right into it, too.

“Tickle you? Well, why didn’t you just say so?”

And so 10 fingers descended on the blonde’s poor ribs, ever so gently scraping across each and every singular rib.

“..h-hey! Waihihihit-! Stahahahap that-! N-No!” Hysterical giggles poured out of the blonde’s mouth. Eiji was so surprised by his squeaky laughter that he almost just stopped tickling him to begin with - ...he found it honestly quite cute. The way his head was thrown back, the bright red blush on his face.. it was so cute.

“...oh? What’s wrong? Does it tickle? How badly? On a scale from 1-10?” The teasing tone dripped with every word he said, and it didn’t stop there. “..broken already? My little sister can handle more than you. Beaten by a girl? Seriously? That’s pretty frustrating isn’t it?”

And it made it 100 times worse.

“CUHUHUT IHIHIHIT OHOHOUT! EIHIHIJI! F-FUHUHUCK! STAHAHAP!” The blonde was now squirming profusely, shutting his eyes tightly as tears pricked on the corners. Oh god, what had he found himself into it? Him? Tickled to death by the weakest, most kind, most gullible person he knows? That’s just unfair at that point.

“..hmm, I wonder what happens here.” Eiji quickly stuck his hands underneath of his arms, expecting a small reaction. The reaction he got was anything but small.

Ash shrieked, his hands collapsing on his most sensitive spot and trapping his friend’s hands there. Eiji’s eyes widened in surprise, smirking along with his friend who was basically getting tortured in front of him. “Ah, Ash, ...I can’t do anything when you trap my hands like that, you know. You have to get them out.” He said, wiggling his fingers faster.

“YOHOHOHOHO BIHIHIHITCH! FUHUHUHUHUHUCK!! STAHAHAHAHAHAP!! PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE!”

“...hmm, let’s see, are you happy yet?”

“YEHEHEHEHES! FOHOHOR GOHOHOHODS SAHAHAHAKE, YEHEHES!”

“... and are you gonna come straight to bed so you get enough sleep?”

“I CAHAHAHANT- I HAHAHAHAVE A JOHOHOHOB!”

Eiji dug his fingers into his friend’s underarms, furrowing his eyebrows. Ash jerked, throwing his head back once more as his whole body shook with ticklish agony.

“I said... ‘are you gonna come straight to bed so you can get enough sleep?’”

“FIHIHIHIHINE! WHAHAHAHATEHEHVER! NOHOHOW PLEHEHEHEASE STOHOHOHOP!”

And just like he said, the other stopped with no hesitation, leaving a bright red teary-eyed man laying there, gasping for breath. “...w-whahat.. the hell, Eiji..” he mumbled, covering his face.

“Your laugh is quite cute,” Eiji said softly into his ear. “...Don’t expect me to forget about this~!” The other laid down on the bed, pulling the blonde to his chest as he pet the back of his head, watching him melt into his touches as if he were some sort of animal.

“..can I ask you a selfish favor, Eiji?” Ash whispered, burying his face within his chest. The other nodded, smiling softly.

“...stay.. by my side. Please.”

“You don’t have to worry- even if the world turns it’s back on you, I’ll stay by your side. Forever.” Ash slowly closed his eyes, drifting into a peaceful sleep as he felt satisfied with the answer he got. Eiji leaned down and gave him a kiss on his forehead - something he’ll forget when he wakes up but something Eiji will treasure forever.

“.... always smile, my sunshine.”

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Hope you enjoyed this! I’ll be doing more in the future when I get more confident. .. thank you for reading! <3.

[glumpiglet]

Close Encounters of the Beej Kind (F!ReaderxBeetlejuice)

Uh hi everyone.. K This started as a request but then i took another look at it.. And it didn’t even do what was asked and I was like … i might just post this as a fic.. So here we are! Many apologies to that person, hopefully this could be a bit of a compensation and it WILL be answered I promise!

To anyone asking for a pt 2 to my ghost s/o I definitely have more to do with that one…we got a WEDDING TO PLAN MY DUDES….. Eventually..i'm trying to get these requests done (which are Always Open ;) ) and I want to do a second date to my Dew fic. I’m very a stop and go writer, I like to try and keep these to a 3-4k length...sometimes that can take me 2 days… sometimes 2 weeks. Lol you know the struggle. hope you enjoy this one. Stay lovely out there hotties.

Warning: Beej is a voyeuristic, thieving little trash boi and there’s some swearing… That’s all.

It started out an average day when you officially met Beetlejuice.

Moving into a new place alone was always so much work. The organizing, the packing, the stress. It would be ultimately worth it, you realized. This would be the first time you lived alone, no roommates, no family. You were a real, genuine adult now.

Laughable, you thought, as you shoveled the spoonful of cereal into your mouth before returning to your controller. There might still be unpacked boxes around you, but sometimes video games were just higher on the priorities list.

The whole ordeal was almost over with. What was left was pictures to hang up, you bought a bookshelf that needed to be built… Nothing crazy. Lucky enough there wasn’t too much of a headache. 

That came surprisingly after the move-in. 

It wasn’t something you voiced out loud, but you were sure the place was haunted.Believing in ghosts was a difficult subject for you. Having had… Things happen to you when you were a child, whispers of your name in the basement where your mom would do laundry. You had an argument once on New Years at a friends house because you were certain you were hearing someone in the house. 

Ghosts were like Religion or Big Foot to you: Not a firm believer but definitely had some ‘need more answers’ kind of person. The human mind was a confusing piece of machinery. It came up with all sorts of insanity.

Still, a list was started to be compiled of odd occurrences in the short time of living here. 

One day, you had been binging a couple Buzzfeed Unsolved episodes ironically enough when you should have sworn you could hear low-pitched laughing in your living room. Not from an adjacent apartment. Like it came from right beside you on the sofa. Pausing the video you listened for any more sounds. Complete silence greeted you and couldn’t tell what would have been creepier: if you had heard the laughing again or the quiet. Deciding to not finish the episode, you turned the t.v off and sat there in the quiet room for a long time 

There was an odd smell in your apartment. You didn’t notice it when viewing the place but every morning you woke up to a pungent, musky odor that almost made you think your neighbours were smoking weed or living in garbage. The smell came and went throughout the day, sometimes wafting over you so unexpectedly you swivel your head to see what was behind you. Nothing was ever there.

Things were disappearing. At first you thought it just got lost in the mix of moving. Some cheap jewelry. Old photos. A hairbrush. It wasn’t until your clothes just started disappearing that you became troubled. 

As you were for sure your panty drawer was being raided, you couldn’t figure out what the fuck was going on. You checked the dryer to see if you accidentally left any behind, you were a forgetful thing. It wasn’t impossible that your underwear had simply.. Disappeared. You tried to chalk the whole thing up to paranoia. You had been celebrating with the new apartment and was drinking a bit more than usual. 

Blame the alcohol. Blame yourself. Anything to not think about the possibility of an actual haunting.  

Not until a hot autumn night did you get any actual proof.

Sleeping nude has always been a thing for you. Your parents would scold you as a child for walking around naked. Leaving your windows wide open as you changed. They basically had to force you into pajamas. You didn’t want to be a nudist or anything, there was just something constricting about wearing clothes to bed. Pants were unbearable, anything with long sleeves suffocated you and god forbid if you ever wore socks. Even in Winters. 

Living alone meant you slept nude nightly, even had the insight to splurge on some silk sheets finally, it was literally the best sensation you had ever felt. It was still unbearably warm in September and you had not been wearing much clothing since you moved in. You were saving up money for an A/C unit but it would probably be snowing by then. Slipping between the cool covers, you sighed as you drifted as you usually did, that space between sleep and dreams where your brain was beginning to shut off….

In a split second, the desire to open your eyes overtook you. Hovering above you was a large, dark figure. Clear as day. No mistaking it for something else. 

Struck still with terror, the intruder didn’t see your wide, open eyes apparently, leaning down over your vulnerable body. In your restlessness, the sheets had been kicked off, leaving way too much exposed skin. Looking horrified, your skin began to break out in goosebumps, perking your nipples. The air to scream wasn’t finding you.

You heard a sound. Growling, like a dog. Vulgar, nasty sniffing noises were blowing from the beast, like the bellow of a forge. This was a nightmare, you clamped your eyes shut. If only you could pinch yourself… Striving to find the will to move your arms, fingers. Anything.

The shadow spoke. It was like gravel hitting the pavement. Striking and rough. 

“MMmm.. So sexy...”

That was it. His voice snapped something in you and you felt yourself come alive. Jumping up in bed, you had screamed in panic, stumbling to your light to reveal an empty room. 

In the terrified state that found you, pacing, in your robe, in your kitchen. Waay to wired now to return to bed. You had decided that night it was a dream, a type of sleep paralysis. No way in hell did your new apartment have a poltergeist.. Some demon?! No fucking way.

The idea of buying something: smudge the house, a ouija board, had crossed your mind. Before you realized what a terrible idea that was. If this was real, you weren’t communicating with it. 

You weren’t thinking about it. Not at all.  

Fate was funny, however. Destiny or kismet, whatever you want to call it. With every weird occurrence, it never occured to you that slowly but surely it was getting worse. 

Not one week after the whole night terror debacle, did you catch someone in your bedroom.

As you said, average day. Meaning you stayed out in the living room, trying to find the energy to be productive beyond sitting on the couch, playing. Glancing at the clock intermittently, watching as the morning shifted into afternoon. You sighed and put the controller down, compromising with yourself. 

Okay, get the boxes out of the closet. Put the shelve up and unpack three boxes then you could return. Sounded fair. 

Walking into the room, reaching the closet, you leaned your head in to find the boxes, and heard a bump. Thinking the sound was just coming from something you hit in the closet, you continued reaching further in… Clothes shuffling made you pause. Turning towards the sound of an impulse, you gasped aloud as you took notice of a man opening your dresser drawer.

“Holy Fucking Shit!”

The first thought in your mind was he was a burglar. Afterwards, you had to chuckle at the idea, he was definitely not dressed for a B&E; terror made funny things make sense.

Grabbing the first thing in your reach, the contents of your vanity. You began hurling them at the now stunned creature, hands up on his chest, eyes wide in surprise.  

“Get out, Get out!” Practically shrieking in the small bedroom, you backed up to the wall, trying to find the courage to escape. In your hysteria, you failed to notice something.

The items were flying right through him.

Adrenaline pounding through your body, making your head throb. He wasn’t doing anything, just standing there, confusing you through the panic.faintly you looked down and saw what he had in his grip. One of your shirts. 

You had broken out in a cold sweat. Feeling like you were going to be sick. 

“I’m serious guy, I’m gonna call the cops!” The booming voice you tried was being to sound more wilted, your heart was about to burst from your chest. Tentatively stepping a few more steps towards the door, brandishing the thing in your hand like a weapon, no matter it was just a mascara bottle. 

“Uh-....yo-...” He continued to blunder through a breath, like a match striking against sandpaper.

You didn’t notice him pocketing your clothing. You dropped the thing in your hand.

The voice... That deep, dark rasp. You had heard it before. In your living room… In your bedroom.

Great timing, you couldn’t catch your breath. Gasping for air you slid to the floor, clutching at the ground for some balance.

This was not happening. This couldn’t be happening.

Every ration, logical, scientific part of your brain screamed for solid facts. The Afterlife wasn't proven real. Death was unknown. This wasn’t a movie and he wasn’t Casper. This was NOT a ghost. This was a human being, totally alive, uninvited in your home. 

Watching with sight blurred around the edges, he was approaching you slowly. Clenching your eyes shut, you cowered in on yourself as you waited for the attack.. This was it, this was how it ended.. You could see the headlines now.

‘Local Girl Found Dead: No Witnesses. No Suspects.’

Family would never know what actually happened to you. Search for answers until they found this creature and the vicious cycle would continue. 

The stench got infinitely worse as he approached, and your eyes began to water with more than fear. 

“Hey, hey.. Breathe, breather.” 

His voice was calm… Forced but calm and you didn’t take the bait. He was just playing with his prey and soon would sink his fangs in.

“You can actually see me?” 

His voice was incredulous. A happy tone that made you look up, he was doing something odd. Not acting frightening in the least, not attacking. He was talking to himself. Angled away from you as he gave himself a pep-talk..What?

“Okay calm down… Play it cool….” 

His eyes met yours. He rearranged his features to appear to be.. Smoldering.. He looked to be trying for suave.   

“Heyyy.”

Not what you expected. In any other circumstance, you would have laughed. The air wasn’t found to make the sound. Instead you choke on your tongue. “..I-...Wh-”

That was all you could get out. It seemed his speechlessness had traveled through the room and now possessed you.  

There was a knock on your door. It was the sound that brought you back to reality. The normalcy of a knock meant you had to interact with a human. You raced towards the door, ready to cry out in panic.

Retching it open, your breath caught in your throat.

It was your attractive neighbor. You had talked to them a total of three times including the time the landlord introduced you. In your hyper aware state, you couldn’t even reach in your mind for their name.

“..Hi.” You said breathless, wondering how much of a mess you looked. Attempting to discreetly pat your hair down, the neighbor explained their hearing you screaming, wanting to make sure you were okay. 

On the tip of your tongue was ‘No, actually. There seems to be a poltergeist in my bedroom. Do you have the number of any good priests?’ But what came out of your mouth was surprisingly calm and normal. You were so sorry, you were playing and sometimes could get a little loud and competitive, you’ll try and keep it down.  

Feeling the back of your head prickle, it seemed now you had obtained the power to tell whenever it’s eyes were on you. Great. 

Seeing the ghost peeking from around the corner, not subtle at all in the ordinary background of your apartment, his contrite countenance almost making you smile. The words left your mouth before you could catch them.

“..Can you not see him?”

Your neighbours' confused silence answered. You took a deep breath, savouring this human interaction. Alrighty then. 

“Gotcha! Sorry, I get spooky around this time of year.” It wasn’t even October, six weeks until Halloween, but it seemed to do the trick. 

Sharing a laugh with the neighbor, you expressed your desire for them to enjoy their weekend, and bid them goodbye, promising to be quiet. Hoping they didn’t notice how fast you closed the door.

You turned back around to regard the ghost.

It.. Certainly didn’t look how you imagined it. 

He looked worse.. Dirty and disheveled in a striped suit, you tried to picture how he might have died and carefully watched as he shuffled forward. Wide, yellow ambers glittered at you.

“Listen.. I know we didn’t get off on the right foot, but… You can see me.”

“Yes.” You had to clear your throat, the voice that came out of you was dry and cracked.

“Stop saying that, please. Why can I see you?” He stepped closer to you, head tilting and you had the space to break free into your living room, walking backwards as he stalked you.

“Beats me, sweetheart. Breathers are usually so self centered they never notice the dead.” You plopped down on the sofa, processing that bit of information. So it was all real. Ghosts were among us. Unbelievable. 

He began to fiddle with the cuffs of his jacket, you almost wanted to ask him to sit down, the nervous energy you felt from him not helping with yours. What do you offer to a ghost for comfort? Smooth as always you blurted out the first thing.  

“So… You’ve been haunting me. You were-”

Sudden, potent anger flushed over your skin. It came together. Your underwear. That night. This pervert!

“Have you been watching me sleep?!” You felt yourself screech before trying to lower your voice, remember the promise to the neighbor. Shooting up from your seat, the ghost floundered under your glare, eyes flickering towards the ground, refusing to look at you.

Lowering your voice to a dangerous whisper, the anger was making you brave. You began to advance on this deviant spectre. Realizing you had the daily source of your misfortune in front of you fueling your fire. 

He had been around the whole time, through your daily routine like… He was your boyfriend or something. As uncomfortable as that was, maybe he couldn’t help that, but you drew the line at theft.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?! I don’t care, ghostly apparition or not, that’s just rude! Stealing my clothes?! What do you have to say?” 

“Woah-woah.. I-I’m sorry! I just… You’re so…Hey!”

Continuing your pursuit despite his stuttered protests, you found yourself standing up close. The closeness was pungent, but it was becoming kind of bearable as the minutes passed on… Up close he was.. 

Strangely handsome, your brain chimed in for you. Not the fucking time!

Arms crossed tight, you glowered at him. Unexplained, you waited for his answer. Obviously he wasn’t going to hurt you. This stupid, smelly, handsome ghost had had plenty of opportunity, you thought sourly. 

“Look, this really isn’t going the way I wanted it to. You’re the most interesting breather in this hellhole……. I’ve been stuck here for so long, but if-if you want.. I’ll stay away...”

Deciding to proceed with the first bit of what he said: going the way he wanted? You watched as he began to slump away. He was muttering to himself again.

“Probably go down and haunt Mrs. O’Reilly in 2B. Heard she got a new pacemaker...That could be fun”

Viewing the sad spectre slink away, the rage was strangely dissipating. Maybe it was the down tilted head, the kicked puppy expression, the idea of this dude with poor little Mrs.O’Reilly. Something made you call out. 

“Wait.”

He perked up almost comically, twirling back towards you, having to bite your lip to keep from smirking. Maybe this ghost wasn’t so bad, he was certainly interesting. Entertaining. Handsome. Shut up brain. Didn’t mean you forgave him yet. He was giving you every piece of clothing back. 

“Did I tell you to go away?”

“Yeah.. Earlier..” His fingers twitched together and now taking notice of how open and earnest his expression was, it was making you smile. Right, when you were freaking out. Could you be blamed? Now it seemed implausible you were ever scared of him.

“Okay, well that was then, this is now. Let’s start over, I’m (Y/N).” On reflex you held your arm out, and kept it there before you thought better of it. Why you were attempting to shake hands with a ghost was beyond you, but as this was of course the weirdest thing to ever happen, what else could be done that didn’t make sense? 

He, with rapt attention, reached forward and you watched in astonishment as his hand drifted slowly through yours. The sensation was an icy buzz shooting up your arm, tingling through your neck into your brain, even your scalp felt the jolt. You felt like you just been electrocuted. 

Both of you shivered at the contact. The air was filled with a growl and once again you were transported back to you in bed and him above you. For the first time.. You felt yourself throb in pleasure at the memory rather than fright. This was slowly becoming dangerous, you could feel it. 

“Ooo… That’s different.” 

Studying him as he glowed green, he began to lewdly run his hands down his chest...Down his thighs.. Your eyes snapped away, suddenly very interested in your own hand..Certainly different.

“I like it.”

“So…. Have you been here the whole time?” You asked, desperate to change the subject in a strangled voice, turning away so he couldn’t see your burning face. This was dangerous. Impossible. Not healthy. Deciding to let this ghost stick around perhaps wasn’t the best instinct.  

“I’m not sure you’re gonna like the answer to that, babes.”

Revolving around to ask him what he meant, you paused at him... Flushing pink. Definitely not. 

[sunnykeysmash]

The connection between Brian LeFevre, death and macdennis/sunny meta

In my time obsessing over sunny recently I ended up noticing interesting stuff that I’m gonna try to show here, that was greatly expanded in s14 and that I believe gives us great odds over whether dennis will be acknowledged as gay in s15 or not. 

Thesis: There has been an ongoing dichotomy, or “choice”, for Dennis, between Brian/Death/Son/Mandy and Dennis/Life/Love/Mac. Additionally, there has been purposeful ambiguity between what is sunny meta and what is dennis meta in season 14, enough for me to consider them one and the same in most cases. Information which puts Big Mo under a completely new light.

Long analysis under the cut.

Basically, Brian has been symbolically linked to death, thanks to an extensive use of metaphors and parallels, because Brian represents the death of Dennis’ identity. Not a true physical death, but the death of Dennis as a person.

Starting from the very beginning, of course, Brian is a dead guy.

In Dennis’ Double Life, it’s established textually, metatextually and visually that Dennis has an actual mirroring double life (Mandy vs Mac, Brian vs Dennis) and is stuck between the two of them.

This is also thanks to the heavy callbacks to suburbs. Here’s an excerpt from a previous analysis of mine explaining it:

(read more here, seriously I recommend it)

During this episode Dennis’ actually eventually fakes Brian’s death to try to get out of trouble, which is the second clear link to death for the persona.

It doesn’t work.

Mandy: “You can open your eyes now, I know you're not dead.”

Which also works as the first acknowledgement of Dennis not really wanting what the Brian life entails, as it’s a character death as much as it is the death of Dennis’ true wishes. He is not dead, he is not Brian, who IS dead.

Then, as he holds his son, something changes inside him. Suddenly, he is a father. His emotional involvement in choosing between the two lives changes drastically with this.

Nevertheless at the end of the episode Dennis is once again presented with the clear choice, which from this point forward I will address as Son/Death vs Love/Life, he looks at the RPG looming in the background and decides to go, not before a long hesitation and stopping immediately when he thought he was being asked not to go, showing us where his heart lies.

This, him choosing to go away, is because at this point in time, Dennis is still not in the right headspace to accept the right path for him. As Chop will put it, he feels “lonely and needs to do something extreme to feel special”, most of all though he feels lost. The conflicts that started in Boggs and Suburbs still make him unsure, and the presence of his son makes him feel like he has to be better for him, despite himself.

As he goes away, Mac blows up Dennis’ Range Rover with the RPG, car which is later in New Wheels metaphorically linked to Dennis’ identity.

Basically, as Dennis chooses Brian’s life, his actual identity dies.

So during the first half of season 13, he is nobody. He is not Brian and he’s struggling to be Dennis. He’s trying to get back into his old identity, desperate for any semblance of control and to belong, so he ends up looking like a caricature of himself, or rather, precisely who the gang thinks he is and who they see him as, not who he truly is.

New Wheels perfectly shows Dennis desperate to belong when he finds a new group of people, he tries on a whole new and different identity, which isn’t entirely him, but that at least feels welcoming enough. But it’s also a showcase of what Dennis truly wanted, which is to be acknowledged and seen by the gang, but particularly by Mac, feel like he matters to them and to him.

I say Mac specifically because the framing during the beginning scene seems to be fixated on a behind-Mac perspective on Dennis, almost like the conversation were happening just between the two of them, like Dennis was talking to him specifically when he pleads for questions.

These are all different shots, not the same one.

By the end of the episode he finally becomes himself again. And that’s that for s13.

Another thing worth pointing out though is that Dennis apparently has not been kicked out from ND, he himself says “I may go back” in New Wheels, and although in context it sounds more like an empty threat, it’s not empty because he can’t go back, it’s empty because he doesn’t really want to, as can be guessed thanks to his tone. This is because it’s then reinforced at the end of Chop with these lines of dialogue:

Charlie: “I can't believe how quick you gave up Poppins' puppies, though, you know? You didn't even think about keeping 'em.” Mac: “Well, that's a lot of responsibility, Charlie, right? And plus, there's no doggy paternity test to actually prove that they were Poppins' puppies in the first place. But, hey, if Poppins wants to stop by and say, "What's up?" and, like, be a dad for while, he's gonna. Or he won't. Dennis: “Yeah, that's how I do. That's how I do.”

Because of this, it can and should also be argued that the choice I am explaining in this analysis is something that Dennis still has to make, because he is, as it stands, still stuck between the two lives, and he has to settle on one, so choose between them, in order for the struggle to end. During all of s14 he is stuck trying to figure out which of the two he should choose, which is also the cause of his growing frustration. Currently speaking, getting a little speculatory here, I think everything feels like death to him, which is why he is having such a hard time deciding. He obviously doesn’t know the outcome of either option, because he’s not the audience or RCG, which means either of them can potentially kill him, and they both feel like they might to him.

Now, in season 14 is where all of this (the dichotomy of Death/Son vs Life/Love) starts to really become prominent in metatext, and this happens as the episodes start to purposefully confuse meta about the show itself with meta about Dennis. Let’s go through it in order one episode at a time, as that’s easier for me to dissect.

First of all, the backwards message at the end of all season 14 episodes, which is this:

“They leave but they all come back”

Is already a clear example of what I’m talking about. Is it about the show because of the false ending of Big Mo which actually ends with the message that “they’ll never stop doing sunny”? Is it about Dennis coming back from North Dakota? Unclear, but that’s entirely on purpose.

Episode 1: The Gang Gets Romantic

Now, there isn’t any clear connection to the choice as far as I am aware, but it is a first approach to the themes of romantic love, death, sons, as a whole. In this episode, while Frank and Charlie are paired with a father and son, Mac and Dennis get paired with a couple mourning a son (Dennis Jr, the “son” in the metaphor, is dead, but more in general it’s pointing to them slowly healing from the Suburbs conflict in my opinion though).

As a bonus fact, Charlie+Frank have always been set up to mirror Mac+Dennis. It is explicitly said in the Mac and Dennis Break Up commentary, and it shows in a bunch of episodes such as Dines Out, Chokes, or hell that one time Frank got a Charlie mannequin. Anyway, word of god, they are parallels.

TGGR presents us with two plotlines that mirror each other while going in the exact opposite direction, and the mirror element is the “structure”. Charlie and Frank’s plotline follows the romcom tropes closely, its structure, and is thus rewarded with a positive ending. Mac and Dennis’ plotline struggles against them (since the tropes are applying to Mac+Dennis, not Dennis+Lisa and Mac+Greg), which is why their plotline resolves negatively.

At the same time, this episode can have a sunny meta interpretation.

In this perspective, the Mac+Dennis plotline is the option for RCG to end sunny and each do their own thing, while the Charlie+Frank plotline is the option to keep it going, and at the end they conclude with the C+F one, seeing as it’s the option to keep going, which is ultimately what RCG wants.

So when this dialogue happens:

Mac: “You think they're gonna give us a bad review?” Dennis: “Yeah.” Mac: “I guess we're not gonna get that romantic comedy ending after all.”

It is about RCG choosing not to end the show (supported later by Big Mo), as it would not provide anything positive.

Or this:

Dennis: “It just feels like a lot of effort, and it feels desperate, you know what I mean? Like, I never put this much work into banging some cute meat.”

It can be interpreted as the effort to win an Emmy, especially since the Mac+Dennis plotline is the tired one, the one that’s failing.

And then when Alexi and Nikki say they’ll be back “next year”, and Charlie yells back “I love you!”, it can be interpreted that metaphorically Alexi and Nikki are sunny. Which also creates another link between love and the show continuing, or “staying alive”.

Finally, all the talk about “structure” and “acts”, particularly the three act structure, is a writer’s process, which also serves as an additional link to the RCG meta interpretation.

Episode 2: Thunder Gun 4: Maximum Cool

This episode leans heavily in the dichotomy, through various pieces of dialogue.

Starting from this:

Girl: "So, this is the midpoint twist. Thundergun finding out he has a son." Frank: "He has a son?" Girl: "Yes." Frank: "But how is this the twist? I mean, because he's got a kid? I mean, he's probably got a thousand kids, all the raw-dog loads he drops."

Which also calls back to the episode prior, where Dee’s role is called “diversionary plot-twist at best”. Now, all these words, midpoint and diversionary, imply an endgoal that is also opposite of what the twist shows.

The twist, obviously, being that Dennis has a secret life with a girl and a son.

It continues:

Dennis: “We’re feeling a lot of outrage right now, you know, because we want something, and we know we deserve it, - but we’re not getting it. [...] I wanna cling to the way things were, but they’re done. […] Let’s run from this.”

Being now aware of the metatext from Big Mo, once again, is this about RCG not getting an Emmy, being discouraged and wanting to end the show because they’re feeling stuck? Or is it about Dennis running away to North Dakota after he realizes in DDL that things have changed permanently despite Mac’s attempt at keeping them the exact same (the apartment restoration)?

The ambiguity that connects Dennis meta with Sunny/RCG meta continues.

Finally:

Dennis “No-no, you guys don’t get it. It’s a cliffhanger. Yeah? It’s a cliffhanger. We’re gonna find out what happened to John in the next movie, Thunder Gun 5.”

Dennis himself going against what is metaphorically his choice in DDL.

Let’s actually look into that, into what happens to Thundergun. 

He sacrifices himself for his son, and dies in the process. Said film is then leaked by the gang and the audience hates it, so the franchise decides to “go back to its roots”. Very clearly sunny meta, but it can absolutely also be seen as Dennis meta. Dennis hating his choice (his thunderson ending) and deciding to come back (go back to his roots).

Additionally, Dennis literally says “give me dong or give me death” at one point, which in the context of all of this feels rather significant, you know?

Episode 3: Dee Day

Surprisingly, and thankfully for me, not much that I can see.

There is this:

Dennis: “And who cares about her feelings anyway? Nobody, that’s who. What about my feelings? Now, that’s interesting, okay?”

Which implies something going on with Dennis’ feelings, and which will more substantially be addressed by Jumper when it’s implied that Dennis tries to completely disregard them when it comes to choices, but other than that, really not much else.

Episode 4: The Gang Chokes

Once again we see a Mac+Dennis and Charlie+Frank parallel conflict. Charlie and Frank resolve their own with words (that mirror Dines Out) while Mac and Dennis resolve theirs with actions, while also solving the much bigger conflicts started by Suburbs (again, check out the other analysis for more context on this) and DDL. 

It should also be stressed that Chokes starts by saying:

Charlie: “Uh, guys, I'd like to raise a glass to Frank. Frank, another year has gone by since you came into my life.”

He’s making a toast, which implies that they are celebrating their anniversary, as they were in Dines Out, and so the parallel becomes not only implied in dialogue as I’m about to show, but direct. It is unclear whether this is also a monthly dinner for Mac and Dennis or not, as I don’t think it was ever specified one way or the other.

As for the parallel in dialogue.

In Dines Out:

Mac: “I didn't have your back before, but now I'm gonna be the wind beneath your wings.”

In Chokes:

Frank (to the Waiter): “Hey, you had my back. Now I'm gonna have yours.”

and

Charlie: “Look, Frank, I'm sorry, dude. I screwed up, man. I should've saved you, and I'll always save you from now on, I promise.” Frank: “Thanks, Charlie. I knew you had my back.”

With Brian representing a death for Dennis, it is implied that what Charlie and Frank are saying in words is supposed to be fully applicable for Mac and Dennis, as there is a parallel between Frank almost dying by choking and Dennis almost dying by going to ND.

Therefore, this is about Dennis going to North Dakota and how he wanted to be stopped, “saved” by Mac. This is Mac apologizing, Dennis accepting the apology, and them implicitly moving forward from this conflict in their relationship and for any similar ones in the future if they present themselves. Mac learning the tools to deal with it, “I’ll always save you from now on”.

Which in a way further solidifies that the option that isn’t Brian, Death, Son, Mandy is fully intended as Dennis, Life, Love, Mac. Mac plays a role in the second option, so when choosing life, love, etc, Mac will be involved. As he is the savior in the context.

Continuing on Chokes, the episode itself again focuses a lot on death, both real and perceived, and being saved. There are three main points for this.

First point: Frank’s death.

So, he almost dies and no one helps. Sound familiar? It’s what happened when Dennis went to ND. As a result of no one helping him, Frank lashes out and decides to move out and distance himself. It is then shown that Frank keeps missing Charlie and comparing the Waiter to him subconsciously. It is constantly shown that Frank rejects Charlie’s attempts at helping him despite actually needing him. Which is also what applies to Mac and Dennis, throughout the episode Dennis is shown needing Mac’s help and taking it while verbally refusing it.

Charlie proposes to chew Frank’s food, Frank refuses his help, Frank chokes, Charlie doesn’t help.

Mac constantly helps Dennis, Dennis starts to push him away, Dennis “dies” (chooses to move to ND), Mac doesn’t help.

The episode concludes with the acknowledgement that they should’ve helped, and with the offended part forgiving the other.

Second point: Dee’s death

She witnesses death and is subsequently enthralled by it, seeking thrill by living on the edge. We can draw a parallel to Dennis’ enjoyment in “living in another man’s skin”, you know, “getting off”. It’s how Dennis started the double life he then got lost inside after all, it gave him a thrill. Then, it happened to him exactly what ends up happening to Dee. She experiences real death, is scared shitless by it, and decides to never do it again, going as far as to say this:

Dee: “I saw the other side. I didn't like it. I hated it. It was just blackness. There's nothing there. It's just dark. That's it. Just lights out. I don't want to do that anymore. I don't want to live on the edge. I don't want to die.”

So once again the choice rests on LIFE, it is like this for Dee, as it is for Sunny, as it is for Dennis.

It’s also interesting to point out that Dee is rescued by a third party, after Mac is able to say “No”; as if symbolically that is what should’ve happened to save Dennis, back when he was about to go. A “no”, to stop him.

Third point: Dennis’ death

Dennis witnesses Frank dying and no one helping him and is immediately reminded of his own situation, which he then proceeds to discuss when at home, with Mac. Thanks to Dennis making this correlation we can once again assume that it is meant to be interpreted as a nod to the ND twist. Not only this but it then keeps linking Dennis to the concept of death and being saved.

This dialogue happens:

Mac: “I would've stepped in, but, of course, I was taking my cues from you.” Dennis: “Why?” Mac: “Well, you didn't tell me whether I should save him or not.” Dennis: “But why? I mean, why do I still have to tell you what to do? Why do I still have to order your dinners for you? And why is it up to me to decide whether or not you're going to save a man's life? You know what the problem is? I can't depend on you. I can't depend on anyone. You know, I mean, if that had been me choking tonight, no one would've saved me.” Mac: “No. I would've saved you, Dennis. I would have saved you. If you told me to.” Dennis: “Oh, Jesus Christ if I told you to?”

Dennis is clearly still upset about no one helping him when he needed it, which is, no one stopping him from making the worst decision of his life, a well established metaphorical death, and is projecting this frustration by applying it to Frank’s situation.

Later on, again:

Dennis: “Christ. I feel like I'm dying.” Mac: “Just let me help you, Dennis!”

Then:

Mac: “Look, all the gluten and the sugar and the dairy just wreaks havoc on his system, you know? And it makes him so weak. And then he's gonna depend on me to take care of him, to bring him back from the brink of death.”

Or “from making a wrong decision”.

Continuing:

Dee: “But if you want Dennis to really depend on you, you’re gonna have to save his life for real.”

And:

Dennis: “So you were still gonna rely on a decision that somebody else made, only, this time, you were potentially gonna kill a man?”

In which Dennis is once again, always without fail, the dying man, and Mac the person who saves him, or tries to. Dennis is very adamant in wanting Mac to choose for himself, which is surprising for a man so “obsessed with control”, and specifically it ticks him off that Mac’s decision was once again gonna provoke the death of a man because he couldn’t take action.

All this implied connection between Dennis, North Dakota and Death reinforces the Death/Brian aspect, while also reinforcing the Life/Mac one, as it is Mac that is supposed to save Dennis.

Episode 5: The Gang Texts

A shorter one, but here things get a little interesting, because the dichotomy is highlighted by one particular joke.

Mac: “Bathrooms at zoos are, like, big Grindr spots for closeted dads.”

Mac says this, then later on, in comes Dennis, a dad, and if it weren’t enough, it’s Mac himself who points to the situation once again by asking if it’s a “grindr thing”.

So going with this, his particular struggle (Death/Son vs Life/Love) is being highlighted with a very fitting choice of words, as he is a dad, and so... also closeted. Going with this. These are the words chosen to describe him in the joke, and it ends up being very telling overall.

Episode 6: The Janitor Always Mops Twice

Nothing, pretty much. lol

I’m gonna use this empty space to write that I just realized that Mac is even more linked to the theme of romantic love because he gifts the RPG specifically on Valentines Day.

Also, generally speaking, Dennis leaving would imply the death of the show, so that’s another way in which dennis meta and sunny meta are linked, because every time one is referenced, the other is automatically implied. The show cannot exist without Dennis in it, and Dennis cannot exist if the show ends. And if that’s not enough, in Big Mo they outright link the end of the show to actual death, in a lot of ways that I’m gonna look into in a bit, so once again, remember that.

Finally, Dennis is very adamant on Mac acting in s14 because if Mac were to do it, he would basically make the decision for Dennis, something that he used to do all the time, if you recall Mac and Dennis Break Up.

Episode 7: The Gang Solves Global Warming

The subject itself can be considered a slow death of sorts, so it feels especially significant that it’s Dennis the member of the gang who cares most about stopping it, despite not being able to because Mac doesn’t help him.

That’s not the only reason he fails at the end though.

He keeps trying to be rational and keep feelings out of it, to rationalize with the situation, which is what ultimately crushes him, as that’s impossible long term.

In this episode, he keeps getting mad at Mac for not taking action and instead trusting God’s will.

Frank: “Where is your God now?” Mac: “He will reveal himself at some point.” Dennis: “Well, is he gonna do it before all these people revolt and destroy the place?” Mac: “I don’t know. I don’t question God’s will. If he wants to destroy the Earth, that’s on him. - I support it!”

I think this is stretching it a bit, but this can also be read as Mac accepting Dennis’ decision to leave despite hating it. Dennis is also frequently presented as “God” so it would make some sense.

The crowd “not wanting to stop” and rioting can be read as sunny meta also, though that’s also kind of a stretch to me, I’m pointing it out.

In the end, the whole episode Dennis and Mac keep arguing about action vs inaction, with Dennis insisting that Mac should take action and being distressed when he doesn’t. They also keep arguing about rationality vs God, something that will come up again in Jumper, surprisingly.

Episode 8: Paddy's Has a Jumper

Now, starting from the very obvious, because that’s what’s easy to me, the jumper is called Bryan O’Brien, and if that doesn’t scream Brian=death, then boy I don’t know what does.

Not only that, but the episode spends a significant portion really stressing and beating you over the head with the fact that the jumper is paralleling Dennis.

Not only is Frank mistaken for the father, but Dennis’ dialogue as a whole really insists on this in multiple points. But again let’s go in order.

Discussing his motivations and intentions:

Mac: ”I mean, maybe God is testing us.” Dee: “He's not gonna do anything. This is a classic cry for help.”

Plus, this episode feels like a writers’ room. When they say stuff like:

Charlie: “It doesn't matter if he wants to or he doesn't want to. He's not gonna die falling from that height.” Dennis: “Whoa. Hard disagree, pal. You could absolutely die if you jump from that height.”

This to me sounds equally about RCG discussing the choice for themselves (implying they did at one point consider outright killing Dennis, or at least argued the theoreticals of it in the writers room, as in “would he actually even die with a decision like that?”) as it is the characters arguing the ND thing in the metaphorical sense, with Dennis insisting that a jump would be fatal while the gang thinks he’s completely fine. So, again, the jump represents him moving to North Dakota, as we’ll see.

Also, in general, the whole episode sounds like RCG arguing over whether they should pull the plug on their own show or not (”become a suicide bar”, because again, without Dennis there is no show, if he chooses death, so does the show), RCG themselves stuck in Dennis’ choice. In particular with the whole “Could he? Would he? (choose one or the other?) Should we?”.

But in addition to this, the algorithm, actually algorithms in general, are once again something that Dennis uses regularly to solve his own problems (D.E.N.N.I.S system, hello), which is his downfall.

Dennis: “Based on the analytical conclusions that we draw here, we're gonna be able to come up with a mathematically-accurate, non-emotional answer to all of our questions. Okay? We just need to think like a computer.”

Speaking of rationality vs feelings.

Mac: “Let's not bring science into it. Okay? I mean, this is life or death. This is God's territory. All right? I mean, there is no science.”

Now, this is very important because it allows me to talk about another thing. If it hadn’t been clear enough by now, this choice Dennis is presented with is also one between rationality and feelings.

Choosing to care for your son and move to ND, that is the rational choice, and rational is everything Dennis has always tried to be, especially in this episode and in Global Warming (which also mentions God a lot!).

But throughout s12-13-14, as I have highlighted in this post so far, we have seen where Dennis’ heart lies, his feelings.

It is funny to notice that both in Global Warming and in Jumper, Mac is the half who keeps arguing for the side of religion, of faith, of feelings, while Dennis keeps arguing for the side of rationality, of objectivity, always wanting to keep feelings completely out of the equation.

Dennis: “I think I have a way that we can solve this argument without human emotion mucking it all up.”

Then:

Charlie: “I think what we learned is that there's no way that the jumper's gonna die from this height. You know? So there's no reason for us to do anything about it.”

Once again the gang not recognizing the gravity of the situation and choosing inaction, to which Dennis seems unsure and wants to do more testing.

Ok so, here’s where things get interesting, the biggest parallel links between Dennis and Bryan are brought to light as they are looking through his social media.

“Yeah, it looks like he likes to travel. He was recently on a cruise.”

Referring to how Dennis actually liked being in another man’s skin in general, and he was recently away to do just that.

The Gang: “Okay, so it looks like he's got a lot to live for.” “He's eating food.” Dennis: “Or-or-or is he? Because is-is that just what he wants you to believe?”

Once again it’s Dennis counterarguing, specifically on the points that sound most like himself, though this irony is lost on him. This also once again sounds like RCG discussing Dennis as a character and how the choice would actually impact him and has impacted him.

Generally, speaking about Dennis, everyone thought he was gonna be fine because on the surface, his choice in the s12 finale sounds like a pretty sweet deal, and exactly what Dennis has supposedly wanted ever since The Gang Misses The Boat, though even that episode itself proves that it simply isn’t what is right for him.

“He's hardly a child, but he's still hanging on to his youth. That suggests to me that maybe he's got some daddy issues. Abandonment, abuse.”

All things that perfectly apply to Dennis and that give us interesting insight on him.

“But recently the girlfriend, she's disappeared from his pictures, which tells me that, uh, she probably broke up with him, you know, because of all his father issues, and 'cause he's an alcoholic, and because of the copious requests for butt-eating, which, she was thinking was more of a one-time thing, and he was thinking, this is a thing now, like, from now on.”

Disregarding Dennis’ surprisingly canonical love for getting his butt ate, lol (despite how that could count as more indication of where his true feelings lie, knowing RCG and what their writing intentions might be), he brings out alcoholism out of seemingly nowhere, another thing that again confirms the link between Dennis and the jumper, Bryan.

Dennis: “Basically, what we've concluded is that it would actually be good for the bar if this guy jumps and dies. So the answer to the question of "should we get involved?" is actually yes. [...] You see, we've already established that this guy wants to die and that it would actually benefit our bar if he dies. Now, of course, from an emotional standpoint, we feel as though we should get involved, we feel as though we should save this guy, but the algorithm is actually telling us that that does not benefit anybody.”

This feels to me like Dennis realizing mid discussion that he should pick rationality aka Death, for the greater good, but being emotionally incapable of actually making that choice because of his feelings, and so implicitly pleading the gang to help him do it, to get involved and push him.

It also sounds like RCG coming to the conclusion that the algorithm, aka the show’s FORMULA, is telling them that Dennis ending up in the bad option of said choice is what would normally happen in a show like sunny, although they themselves don’t really want to go through with it.

Charlie: “Can I say something, though? I think this is for the best. You know what I mean? Like, we were going down a road I was not totally comfortable with.” Dee: “You guys want to go back to watching our show?” Charlie: “Let's get back to our show.”

So, a couple of things here. The jumper does not jump, he chooses life, which implies the same fate for Dennis. Coincidentally, pay attention to how the gang calls it “our” show, not like, “that” show, because this is, at the same time, RCG being glad of the decision to not end the show and kill Dennis off.

But here’s where things get real FUN, because the Melon is also used as a metaphor for sunny. Generally speaking, smashing it would’ve been ending it, it’s not a coincidence that the melon represents the jumper, they’re all one and the same.

Cricket: “Guys, why the hell are you wasting a perfectly good casaba melon?”

Why end a show that is doing perfectly fine?

Frank: “Where's my melon? Where's my casaba?” Dennis: “It's right here, man. Why do you care so much about this thing? What is the deal?” Frank: “It's where I stash my Maui Kush.” Charlie: “You hide your weed in a casaba melon?” Frank: “Yeah. In case the cops ransack the place, you got to find a good, unsuspecting spot to stash your drugs.” Mac: “Pot's pretty much legal now. You don't really have to stash it anywhere.” Charlie: “I don't think you have to hide it, man.” Frank: “When did that happen?”

Ok so, this might be the most speculative point I’m going to bring up, but I will anyway, because it’s my post and I do what I want. I think they’re talking about gay subtext here. It is simply something that is kept hidden (thus, subtext, duh), and that they don’t really need to hide anymore. The reason I think this has a metaphorical value is specifically because of how Charlie words “I don’t think you have to hide it, man” which beautifully applies to a Dennis who is still in the closet in the year of the lord 2020, if you catch my drift. Plus the whole situation reads kinda with a weird vibe in general, almost forced. You have to consider that they chose to include this dialogue over stuff like Frank bragging to Dennis about meeting Jackie DeNardo. He doesn’t bring her up at all, actually.

Mac: “Maybe that's, like, part of the problem of taking the humanity out of decisions.” Dennis: “Perhaps the science just isn't there yet.”

They acknowledge that any choice should be made following your feelings, not like a machine, and Dennis agrees with the point. Now, I don’t know about you, but to me Dennis agreeing that sometimes considering feelings in certain situations is necessary is something HUGE. Of course it is for the thesis I’m arguing, as it implies Dennis following his feelings when making the decision he is currently weighted by, and we know where those stand, but it is huge just in general, also. Dennis usually doesn’t do feelings, at least, he tries to repress them usually.

Cricket: “Where did we land on the casaba?” Dennis: “I think you can eat it, man. I think we're done with it.”

Basically, with the tinkering over, and a decision being made by RCG, they can hand it to Cricket (David Hornsby) to write the season finale.

Episode 9: A Woman’s Right To Chop

The salon’s insigna, pictured above.

This episode is full with dennis/sunny meta (which doubles as abortion meta, so bear with me), but it also has a son=death link once again, as “Poppins” is pregnant and were she to have the puppies (which are later directly used as a metaphor for Brian Jr as I already quoted in this post when explaining why Dennis could technically return to ND) she would die.

Poppins himself is linked to Dennis metaphorically, and as we all know it is a dog that simply does not die.

Mac: “Poppins! He came back! My dog came back!” Dennis: “How the hell is that dog still alive?” Dee: “Yeah, Mac, why don't you just put that poor thing out of its misery?” Mac: “Put him down? What, are you crazy? This is my dog, Dee. I love him.” Dee: “Well, he doesn't love you. Comes around every three or four years, eats a bunch of batteries or whatever, takes a giant dump on the floor, and then leaves again.” Mac: “Dee, Poppins comes and goes as he pleases 'cause that's his right as a male.”

Once again Mac is responsible for keeping him alive, and he does so because he loves him. As for “he doesn’t love you”, I mean, it’s Dee, the Gang’s perspective, of course they think that. They also thought Dennis had no feelings. But we know he does, they are why he came back after all.

Dennis: “And if we decide to leave, we're gonna leave. Yeah, 'cause that's nature. That's tradition.” Dee: “That's bullshit. Traditional roles are ridiculous, and they're made up by men.”

The episode discouraging the option of leaving from Dennis.

Now, cutting hair (while yes, abortion stuff, I’m not talking about that here) can also be interpreted as both a metaphor for ending the show, or Dennis cutting ties entirely. It works for all of them.

Dennis: “With luxurious locks like yours, it could take, oh, three, four years to grow back to its current length. Yeah, if it ever grows back.”

Ending the show with all the risks that it would imply, because it could take a while for them to get another show to get off the ground and a new thriving fanbase (years to grow back hair), that is, if it ever happens.

With relationships as established as those Dennis has, it could take years for him to find other people he can be close with, that is, if he ever finds them.

Dee: “Will you please leave these poor women alone? They're clearly bored and lonely and needing to do something extreme in order to make themselves feel special.”

That just screams “reason why Dennis went to ND” to me.

It’s also funny to consider that the episode as a whole is about choice.

And it’s also interesting that in this scenario Dennis is arguing to stop them from having the choice of “ruining their life”, which sounds rather dramatic and also like a lot of self projection on his part.

Reading the script, it also came to me that other people having a say in whether a haircut is made or not sounds like fans having a say in whether a show ends or not, so there’s that.

So, the burping in this episode is a metaphor for emotional pain.

In this case, Dee wants to get the haircut simply because she can, without understanding the ramifications of her actions, and this upsets Frank who actually does understands. He once had long beautiful hair, cut it and gave it away, and it never grew back. This fits in all three metaphorical perspectives, once again. In the end she ends up getting a haircut anyway, despite people trying to stop her, and ends up with a substitute wig that looks pretty much the same.

Dee: “I'm getting the haircut. I'm getting it.” Frank: “Don't do it, Deandra. You'll regret it! I'm telling you!” Car salesman: “What was that all about?” Frank: “Just trying to save a life.”

This is yes, a metaphor about adoption instead of abortion, but it doubles as Dennis meta for everything else we have discussed.

Not cutting, not jumping, not running away, is saving a life. It all works towards the same message without neglecting the episode’s main message.

All in all, I feel like the parallels and metaphors in this episode are only surface level, and the rest works to make the plot and the abortion stuff make sense. It is still significant though, it’s there.

Episode 10: Waiting For Big Mo

Not even gonna try to make sense of all the metaphors in here as I don’t even think they necessarily make sense at all.

The point of it all here is simple, and it is once again sunny meta as much as it is Dennis meta, which ends up being very important.

They always play the game guarding the base, never letting themselves have fun but following a clear formula (word actually used in the episode), because that is simply what has always worked. They have it down to a science.

Yet the desire to have fun keeps messing with it, getting them lower on the leaderboard, and so on so forth. 

Dennis is afraid that this will bring on a death, if they can’t guard their base from Big Mo, so he keeps discouraging fun, and asks people to stay on track, manipulates them to reach this goal, even if it makes him miserable.

This is about Dennis keeping his perfected facade instead of following his feelings as much as it is about RCG following the formula instead of having fun with it. For Dennis, the goal of doing this is being perceived as perfect, being accepted, belonging. For RCG, the goal was winning an emmy and staying relevant.

So the episode starts by painting having fun (feelings in Dennis’ case) as something that will bring an inevitable death, which must be how it felt to RCG (if you don’t follow the formula they’ll cancel your show) and how it felt to Dennis (who knows what would happen if you opened up), which is what led him to make the wrong choice in the first place, to avoid getting hurt. 

Except the episode then proceeds to make fun of that very notion:

Mac: “Who cares if we're losing?” Charlie: “Dennis said, like, if we leave the base, death is gonna come in the form of a fat kid who's gonna turn us into fart ghosts or something like that. So I got to stay.” Mac: “What?” Charlie: “It sounds crazy now that I'm saying it. Dennis explained it a lot more better. Dennis, we can't leave the base, right? That's the deal?” Dennis: “No. Frank was right. Rutherford B. Crazy's real name was Larry Takashi. Yeah, and he was the founder and owner of Laser Tag Fun Zone. Well, apparently, he killed himself.”

In the episode, Frank is the first to reveal the news to Dennis, and he doesn’t believe him. Up until that point in the ep, he had been using Rutherford/Larry (is it a coincidence that he also has two names? I’ll let you decide) as inspiration for himself and to keep going with his plan to win, the guy was always working towards his goal tirelessly, never having fun. His family hated him, he had no friends, he was completely alone. He died alone and miserable.

This part of the episode in particular feels very heavy, as we notice that Dennis (and it isn’t random that he’s the one having this revelation) is the only one who’s sitting, looking visibly shocked.

Now, Larry Takashi is based on Larry David, creator of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm. This isn’t only obvious because of the first name, but also because Larry was the person who Rob met that convinced him to not end the show.

He said this to Rob:

“Don’t be an idiot. Never stop. Just keep doing it. One, because it’s the greatest job you could ever want and two, because if you do a final episode they’ll just destroy you for it.“

So it’s easy to assume that this character is an homage to him.

Anyway, Dennis has this realization, and it feels important that he’s the one having it, as the whole season has been subtly about him and his choice, him feeling like he has to be a father but secretly wanting to be Mac’s “leading man”.

Dennis: “I mean, the guy was miserable. But he spent his life building this empire, and it all meant nothing? Shit. So Rutherford be rich. Rutherford be successful as all hell. But you know what else Rutherford be? Rutherford be right. Because it all means nothing if you're not enjoying it.”

This works both ways, and is the right message, but it then gets twisted into “choosing death on our own terms”, obviously for the sake of tricking the audience with a fake finale; as we now know, they have actually chosen life. The dialogue continues to be specifically about sunny.

And with that, it segues into the fake finale, with them saying “time to end the game”, “goodbye base” and all of that.

And it seems like with that they’re giving up, accepting death as something that will happen regardless, ending the show. Saying “screw it, we won’t let others cancel our show, we’ll end it on our terms if that needs to happen”. Or in Dennis’ case “If I’m gonna have to live a miserable life might as well directly kill myself” as, again, so far the implied death of choosing Brian has been METAPHORICAL, the death of Dennis’ identity. Not, you know, real.

Whereas the show ending would imply his eventual real death.

But that’s not how it ends.

“Oh, what? You thought we'd gone? You'd like that, wouldn't you? We ain't going anywhere. We're never leaving, you little piece of shit.”

They’re never leaving. And so, by progression of the metaphor, neither is Dennis, of course, which implies the choice of the other option. Dennis, Life, Love, Mac.

So as the show chooses to live forever, then so should Dennis also choose the option for life, and everything that it implies with it.

And this is why all of this talk about meta and symbolism was very important for me to make, because this is the logical conclusion I have reached.

Logically speaking, for me, this is where all the signs seem to be pointing, and that’s very exciting.

Because as RCG chooses to keep their show alive, they are also choosing to have real fun with it, and this seems to imply that they won’t stick to the formula as closely.

So in a way, Big Mo, as this fake finale, does end up representing the end of sunny as we know it, if I’m reading into it correctly. It ends up being a proper finale and send off, but sunny is not over because of it. Only the one we are used to, whatever that means.

So not only is Dennis choosing that, but it seems RCG might be taking some real artistic liberties or whatever, not be afraid to sink down in the leaderboards anymore but simply do what they please.

So... macdennis? Well, come back to me in a year and we’ll find out together. That is another reason why I made this post after all, to look back at it in the future and see just how wrong or right I was.

Let’s see how Rob chooses to embrace sunny.

[bezgoesboo]

––  m i c   t a p !    “ an’... ohp !  we’re live ! ”    

               r u s t l e   r u s t l e . . .   

“ well, if you’re listenin’, welcome to another episode of witchin’ hour, in which i’ll do a real valiant job of wastin’ your precious time. 

                             we got the tunes, we got the loons, and the night’s fresher                              than a pack of fuckin’ mini mart twinkies. yep. i’m bez.                                                              whaddya say we get jinkie with it ? ”

or, alternatively:  my name is linc, this is bez holmes, and i hope you brought your schnazziest seatbelts ‘cause, oh bud... you’re in for quite the trip.

( timothee chalamet, ghost, he/him & cismale ) is that ( another one bites the dust ) by ( queen ) playing? guess ( killian beelzebub holmes)’s comin’ in hot! heard folks say the ( twenty three ) year old ( local radio host ) was at the thanksgiving fair, ( throwin’ darts at the balloon wall with his buds ) when chaos ensued. during the glitch, ( he was killed by one of his best supernatural pals he was tryin’ to talk down while everyone else was bookin’ it to the woods, but ain’t the faintest clue he’s dead… yikes ).

b a c k g r o u n d    .  .  .

the autumn of 1959 brought the youngest holmes sibling into existence and knocked out their mother in one fell swoop. killian beelzebub holmes was born to mr. holmes and his late wife at precisely 3:33am just before an uncharacteristically frosty dusk.

mrs. holmes chose the name killian long before her second-born ever killed her, so... heh !  joke’s on her !  bez’s pops didn’t have the heart to call him *cough* er, killian, so the family settled for the next best thing so they could still honor his mother’s wishes: beelzebub. except... well. that still was a lil problematic, given the timing of his birth. and callin’ beelzebub on class attendance? not exactly the best look. hence, the nickname bez was born, and he’s been goin’ by it ever since.

bez has an older sister lee and the two are as thick as thieves. growin’ up, they always kept their father on his toes –– wherever the holmes kids go, trouble follows.

mr. holmes served as county sheriff until he was killed by his second wife when bez was 13 and lee was 14. lee went back to art school after the local police department covered up the bear out as a fuckin’ armed robbery gone wrong. lee ‘n bez were sworn to secrecy, but nothin’, not even authoritative men in police badges, can erase the image of stepmonster slashin’ dad to bits and lettin’ him fall face first into a plate of spaghetti.

bez never liked stepmonster to begin with, but killin’ their dad was the kicker. lee returned to art school and bez struggled to keep the peace in the household. the bitch stepped up the loving stepma act until a year later, when she wigged out again ‘n landed him in the hospital for a couple days. after that, lee returned home, ‘n it was officially holmes vs. mama bear.

movin’ out was the dream, but unfortunately, mr. holmes overextended when he bought this nice shiny new house for his new wife ‘n kids; most of his insurance money went to getting the house out from underwater, ‘n the rest went to funeral expenses. so... the kids were kinda stuck with her. still are.

bez never let himself be stupid enough to dream ‘bout leavin’ letum falls. he likes it here. he’s got his people. throughout school, he romped ‘round with the cool kids. hung out with all the supernaturals. in fact, you’d be hard pressed to find bez holmes chillin’ ‘round anyone who’s actually human. contrary to his sister, his father’s death didn’t turn him off from supernaturals –– if anythin’, it made him desperate to prove to himself just what a wildcard stepmonster was.

after high school graduation, bez pestered his way into workin’ at the local radio station. what started as a simple soundboarding gig morphed into hostin’ his very own show, the witchin’ hour, on which he talks about letum falls’ spooky happenings and engages with live callers. he’s got a sleep with me bit –– callers name celebrities, fictional characters, or even existing locals bez has to seduce via song and cheesy pickup lines. basically, the whole show’s a hangout with bez –– more often ‘n not, he’s high as a bird. so the witchin’ hour’s got itself a steady cult of listeners. bez loves every second of it.

he’s got a reputation for bein’ sexually ambiguous. he was outcasted pretty young as bein’ a lil... off? never into sports. liked to paint his nails colors sometimes. borrow lee’s shirts. his dad never raised issue with it, but stepmonster definitely had her reservations. still does. bez holmes is a kid some fathers told their sons to steer clear of. for fear of, bez’ll laugh as he tells ya, spreadin’ it around.

labels are for chumps, he’ll tell ya, mid-cigarette drag. size y’up real good. odds are, if you’re attractive ‘n mysterious in some way, he’ll fuck ya. ( not countin’  six months of abstinence in 1980 when he was convinced everyone he fucked wound up dyin’ two weeks later... there were a string of incidental deaths. but honestly, sometimes ?  he thinks ‘bout it. )

fuckin’ klutz. yeah, he skateboards. yeah, he looks cool doin’ it. yeah, he’ll even wear his shades while he’s doin’ it at night. but surprise him? make him laugh? he’ll trip over his own two feet.

addicted to cinnamon waffles, enough syrup to drown atlantis a second time. he always haunts the local diner. when he’s not there, he’s likely playin’ pinball or skeeball at the local arcade, or slurpin’ down a rootbeer float and annoyin’ the living shit outta earl at the mini mart.

if it’s illegal? sign him up.

he owns a shit ton of thrifted clothes. lots of chunky jackets, v-necks, rings, necklaces. funky pants. he’s recognized around town by his crazy curls. they’re never tame. he’s always lookin’ artfully disheveled. smirkin’. stealin’ looks.

t h e    f a i r     .  .  .

bez was hangin’ out with his supernatural buds ( wanted connections )when all hell broke loose. he was actually makin’ a fool of himself with balloon darts, but he made a ten buck bet he could win a stupid hat.

while everyone else ran, bez tried to talk down one particular friend ( wanted connection ) who was tryna keep themselves from attackin’ him. he got so far as to get ‘em calm, place a hand on their shoulder. lean in to look ‘em in the eye real close. 

“ hey man, hey now. listen. y’don’t gotta do this. killin’ ain’t punk, ‘kay? y’hate blood, hear me? i believe in you, ‘n even though you serve killer looks –– you’re not a killer. ”

even in the face of death, this kid fuckin’ joked around, and... basically this friend slashes his throat and ripped his heart out right after bez managed a hopeful smile. talk ‘bout a magical fuckin’ friendship.

lee and dean hollis took bez’s body with them when they fled the scene.

bez woke up a few days later in the woods near the fairgrounds. he wandered ‘n wandered, almost in a sleep-like trance, ‘til he reached dean’s house. walked in, blinked right at the guy. they exchanged words, albeit bitter ones, before bez left and walked on over to the radio station. did his show like normal, like he’d never even died. no memory of the glitch. no nothin’. 

heads on over to earl’s mini mart like usual. but earl won’t check him out. earl isn’t hearin’ him. so he fuckin’ leaves with a bag of doritos and a big bottle of mountain dew. runs into his boyfriend, xander chapell. all’s fine ‘n well. he’s overjoyed to see the other male. everythin’s normal.

the next mornin’, he slinks home. finds lee cryin’ in her room. pieces it together and thinks it must be dean hollis. must be ‘cause of that asshole.

c u r r e n t l y    .  .  .

ain’t nobody got the heart to tell this poor kid he died. he’s dead. and since he doesn’t know he’s a ghost ?  he thinks wakin’ up near hose weird ass woods, near the fairgrounds ? it’s all a dream. he thinks the worsened insomnia ? ah. that’s just the weather. ‘n when his hand sometimes goes through things ? when people sometimes don’t see him ? some witch is probably havin’ trouble controllin’ their abilities.

stepmomma has a hunch bez’s spirit might be hauntin’ the house. she keeps tryna sage it. tryna figure out what’s gonna help get her stepson to the beyond. ‘cept bez doesn’t know this, and lee’s playin’ damage control.

he’s still so hopelessly in love with xander, but neither of these two goons have actually shared that with one another. it’s all in the looks. the touches. and now... there’s an added bonus that bez is dead –– technically a goner, unless he never resolves whatever’s keepin’ him here. which, y’know. he won’t. ‘cause he’s got no clue.

can he please get a waffle ?  now some of the waitstaff won’t serve him at the diner ! the fuckin’ nerve !  it’s really okay because he’s got duffy ‘n georgia there to help him out. but damn. no one’s ever been this cold ‘cause of his off-color humor before. what’d he do ?  lord knows.

weird shit’s happenin’. people in town are actin’ strange. something’s up. but then again, somethin’ always is. so bez doesn’t mind it. keeps on hummin’ his stupid tunes. carries on with his show. the radio station producers are scared shitless ‘cause like... this dead kid keeps goin’ on the air. what kinda cruel joke is this, huh ?

c u r r e n t     c o n n e c t i o n s  .  .  .

older sister – lee holmes.  the holmes kids are revered and feared. always up to somethin’... tragic, what happened to ‘em, but lordie. that dead sheriff raised some weird kids.

low key love of his life – xander chapelle.  they started dating a few months ago and bez... never... expected... this. he ain’t the feelings type, no sir. but xander lights somethin’ in him. somethin’ new. yeesh. now you’ve got him all fluttery.

chaos crew – maya shen.  partners in crime, in an endless pacman and pinball war. they’ll beat one another’s scores back ‘n forth and back ‘n forth, never ending. bez is fascinated by maya’s family line ‘n all. she’s great to have ‘round, too, when he’s got a hankering for a cig but needs a decent light.

row, row, row your boat the fuck away from me – dean hollis.  dude was pretty cool, ‘til y’know... he fuckin’ dumped his feelin’s on lee and skipped town. yeah, football. yeah, nfl. cool beans, huh? what’d he have to go and fuck with his sister’s heart for? and now that he’s back and lee’s actin’ weird... bez knows he’s the cause of it for sure. and he doesn’t like it one bit.

grew up together – georgia duchannes.  bez, lee, ‘n georgia all grew up peas in a pod. mr. duchannes took over the role as sheriff because he sniffed somethin’ fishy goin’ on in the department and wanted to protect bez ‘n lee. bez gets a real kick outta georgia, ‘n folks even thought he had a crush on her back in the day. which is hilarious. ‘cause everyone ‘n their mother always knew georgia’d end up with vanetten.

the case he’s gonna crack – teejay vanetten.  bez always liked vanetten, thought he was a chill guy, y’know? a lil’ vanilla, but hey. not everyone can be as ace as him. the dude’s always been a lil’ defensive around bez though, ‘cause of georgia. bez thinks it’s funny. plays into it sometimes, just to get a rise outta him. after the glitch, it becomes clear teejay’s goin’ through something not human, so bez is tryna get lee on board to help this guy figure out his shit.

w a n t e d    c o n n e c t i o n s    .

the best supernatural friend who killed him.  bonus points if things get, like. real fuckin’ angsty.

past hookups.  bez has gotten around. guys, gals, non-binary pals. sex is sex.

supernatural kool krew.  this squad has a runs with wolves kinda vibe. bez might be the glue that holds it together. keepin’ up with supernaturals as a human, though? fuckin’ full time job.

avid radio listeners / callers.   i... would love for some routine callers? maybe some peeps he knows from around town who he has ongoin’ banter with on the air?

goofy gays.  all the gay vibes, just... we need a power gay squad mmkay?

enemies.  i’m sure bez is on a lot of people’s shit lists. he speaks his mind. he goes outta his way to be a nuisance. but he’d just find this whole thing abso-fuckin-lutely hilarious.

music jam peeps.  music is a huge part of bez’s everyday life. he listens to bands more than he listens to people. ‘n he dabbles in some musical shit himself. piano, some songwritin’ here ‘n there. nothin’ too major, but it’d be cool to have some pals who also feel as connected to music as him. he does, after all, run a radio show.

post-glitch connections.   dude roams ‘round letum falls a lot now. he did before, too, but maybe there are some people who knew of him but didn’t know him before who’re now startin’ to talk with him? ‘cause they can see he’s a ghost, ‘n they feel bad? i dunno. at this point, bez is startin’ to yammer on ‘n on to whoever’s gonna listen. maybe they just see one another in odd ass places. like earl’s mini mart. or the arcade. or maybe this person’s willin’ to speak to someone for him when they’re doin’ that stupid ass ignorin’ game again.

[aboysbestfriendishismum]

FanficAskGame: C, F, X and Y.

C: What member do you identify with most?

There’s a tiny bit of me in every single character of mine, from Angie to Melanie. But it’s no secret I relate more to Miss Pacifico.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

I’m choosing an Eddie/Angie dialogue. I love their interactions and they’re not that easy to write because I tend to have Eddie talk too much, whereas he’s a man of few words. So whenever I’m done with one of their dialogues I feel proud of my work! This is also pretty representative of them and their personalities, as single characters and as a (at that point, future) couple.

***

[Chapter 43, Angie’s POV. The whole gang is in a club watching a concert and Angie’s dad is there too. Eddie has just embarrassed Angie not recognizing her father and acting jealous. They’re watching the show by themselves and Eddie tries to confess her his feelings]

The set goes on and Eddie’s behind my back the whole time, resting his hands on my shoulders from time to time. And for me prana, ki, meridians and chakra were, are and always will be nothing but a bit pile of shit, but the heat Eddie’s hands radiate is real, it goes through my spine, travels down across my legs down to my feet, then goes back up to my head, giving me really annoying goosebumps. Apart from that, my dad even managed to spot us in the crows and take a couple of pictures, all with a smart-ass smile on his face. Did Eddie notice?

“Anyway, I really like being with you” he says during a break between songs.

“At concerts for sure, I don’t block your view”

“Haha shut up!” he says grabbing my shoulders once again.

“And I’m comfortable to lean on when you’re tired” this time I turn around a little more, making eye contact with him, and at the same time pat him on his hand, which he immediately takes away.

“I’m sorry… see, I’ve been really all over you recently… I mean, literally”

“I can also be a small ladder when needed”

“Anyway… what I wanted to say before is that I’m not just at ease with you”

Ok, now comes the moment he tells me I’m such a good friend, that he’s comfortable talking to me, because I can listen and it comes natural to him to open up, that he feels better after we talk, that he feels understood and not judged, etc.

“Mm mh?”

“With you I…” Eddie stops because the band starts playing again, but then goes on, speaking at a little louder volume. Do we need to discuss this right now? Sure, he probably thinks it’s better to talk about something like this with the diversion of the concert, as if it was just chit chat between friends at a show, rather than sitting around the table and talk about the matter like it was some big deal. “ With you, I feel like home. And it’s not something to take for granted, because I’ve never felt completely at home, not even at my place. I don’t know if you understand…”

“Yes! More or less…” I go back to my previous pattern, quick answers and turning my head just a little, keeping my eyes on the stage.

“It’s like with certain songs, I don’t know if it’s like this for you too. Those songs you turn to whenever you need to feel safe, cuddled, soothed, backed up, understood. Like, I don’t know, Bruce Springsteen”

“So… I’m Bruce Springsteen?” I ask after being silent for while, not because he shocked me, but mostly because I liked the idea of putting a dramatic pause right there, I think it sounded good.

“Hahaha in a certain sense, yeah. I don’t know if it works the same for you with music”

“Yeah, but not with his music”

“You don’t like Bruce Springsteen?” Eddie grabs me from the shoulders more tightly than he did before and turns me around 180 degrees until I’m facing his inquisitive eyes.

“Sure I like him, of course I do, he’s the Boss, but…”

“But?”

“But I think I can’t appreciate him fully yet, I think it’s too soon”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a long talk and it’s also not easy to do it in the middle of a concert” I half yell, still with my back at the stage.

“I have a good hearing”

“Ok, well… I believe there are artists you can fully comprehend if you don’t have enough experience, if you haven’t lived enough”

“So I appreciate him 'cause I’m old?”

“Hahaha no! Well, yeah, but not exactly. It’s multilevel”

“It’s… what?”

“Oh let me think about it… it’s like… it’s like The Simpson’s”

“The Simpson’s?”

“The animated series on Fox”

“I know what The Simpson’s are, but… what’s the point?”

“The point is it’s great, a masterpiece, one of the few good things worth watching on tv. And literally anyone can watch an episode and appreciate it because it’s  multilevel”

“That is…?”

“That is it has more levels of understanding. There’s the main story, then humor, then different parallel comedy stints and a list of quotes and references, more or less famous, more or less hidden. A few weeks ago I saw this episode where Mr Burns was running for governor and there was this scene which basically was identical to the speech scene in Citizen Kane, and of course you must have seen the movie to get the reference and if you get the reference the suggestion works. But what if I hadn’t seen that movie? Would that have prevented me from understanding the scene on the whole? Not at all, I’d have understand what was literally happening, I’d have got the literal meaning, but I’d have missed so much, I wouldn’t have enjoyed all of it. And that’s how it is for me with Springsteen, I feel I’m missing something, that there’s some emotional reference I can’t get yet and that prevents me from appreciating him completely. It’s the same with Bob Dylan, I lack some levels”

“YOU DON’T LIKE DYLAN?!” Eddie’s literally screaming now.

“Dylan is huge, but I think I’ll appreciate him more in a few years. And between you and me, I can’t wait” I state right when the song ends, then I turn around towards the stage and clap and cheer at the band.

“What you say is right, but isn’t that the case with any artist and any work of art?”

“Yeah, but it’s stronger for some. Some artists just bring the baggage of a whole iconography with them, they always carry that burden on their shoulders, and Springsteen and Dylan aren’t just themselves: they’re themselves plus what they represent, they’re lifestyles, they’re whole lives, and it takes time to take a life and make it completely yours”

“See, it’s things like this too. This kind of conversation. The fact we talk about these things, it’s just… I love all this”

“Screamed conversations throughout concerts?”

“Yeah. And tell me one band or artist that’s home to you” Eddie insists, still talking into my ear behind my back.

“The Cure. And The Smiths” I answer without hesitation.

“I’m pretty sure Robert Smith and Morrisey can’t stand each other”

“Nobody can’t stand Morrissey. Even Morrissey can’t stand Morrissey”

“And you don’t need more life experience to understand them, right?”

“Nah, their music floats around in the limbo of pure eternal teenage, it’s the beginning of life. No, it’s the wait, the wait for your life life, waiting for it to finally start, for real”

“Ok… so The Cure and The Smiths”

“If you add Patti Smith you’ve just verbalized my personal Holy Trinity”

“Robert Smith, Patti Smith, The Smiths… there’s a whole lot of Smith in your triad”

“If I ever hit my head, go into a coma, wake up and decide I want a child, I’ll call him Smith or Smitty”

“Or you should just get married with someone whose surname is Smith”

“Yeah, that’s just what I need, more selection criteria to make things more difficult for me in social interaction and life”

“I like you, Angie”

“I like you too” I distractedly answer, trying to understand what the singer from Inspector said that was so funny to make the crowd suddenly laugh.

“YOU ARE MY CURE” Eddie unexpectedly yells into my year as soon as the band starts to play again. I roll my eyes. You just need to find yourself a girlfriend.

“Nah, you should see a therapist for that, a good one”

***

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

Since there’s no single character I torture, I could answer this multiple times. I do not enjoy making her suffer, not regularly at least, but I had to give Meg a jolt so she would understand she has to get her shit together.

Y: A character you want to protect.

I’ll protect Jeff and Laura forever and ever.

Thank you baby! 

[bienmoreau]

The Dork Reads Lightning-struck Heart: Charpters 1-6

It has begun!  @lio-zehel & @glitterghost​ this is basically just the notes i made on my phone as I went so sorry for the total lack of rhyme or reason to it or much referral back to the actual text for context XD 

Gary. The gay hornless unicorn who snorts sparkles out his nose

The introductory villain asking politely if he can get back to monologging his story. 

Why the casual bestiality. Like. I probably should have see it coming from the gay talking unicorn. but still.. 

Also so far this feels very very like one of the tripper episodes of The Magicians.. not that that’s a bad thing.. just odd the read.

The waviest. 

Chapter 2. Please don’t make my nipples explode. 

So much swearing. 

Aaaww caring parents.

....And pink pointy shoes. Because why not.

“I like your shoes.”

“Thank you little one. I made them [...] I like your face”

“Thank you big one. My parents made it when they got married. I was a honeymoon baby. Whatever that means”

DOES HE HAVE AN OFF SWITCH JFC!??

Aww SUPER SUPPORTIVE PARENTS and a pink shoed wizard (who will be very violent if crossed)

JFC sam is so bossy.

She checked me over that I wasn’t injured before she injured me.

He thinks I’m wicked awesome and I’m the future kings wizard. And then I will curse you both so hard you will have extra fingers coming out of your faces.

And damn supportive parents. Making sure their idiot child will look his best for his crush.

Aww brutal.

“That’s rough buddy.” At the whole prince / Knight situation.

Yes. You are being an awkward asshole

But dw you’re definitely not as big an asshole as Justin.

Oh my god. This has been going on for 47 minutes.

I swear he says the wants to touch people with his mouth way too frequently

These chapter names are so disconcerting

Needless to say I looked like a HIGH END prostitute (is that.. is that the look you go for for a royal feast)

I’m like an advertisement for circumcision. ...........um..

-

I could make it look like an accident.. I’ve done it before.

-

He looked like he should own several brothels.. and now the outfit suddenly fits the situation...

Why. Why would wink at the king?  Why.

Wtffffff why is the king flirting with Gary. This is so weird.

Gay unicorn @ the literal King: “You look like a walking daddy fetish”

WHY!?

“YAAAAAAAAAAAY”

JFC WHY. WHY WOULD HE DO THAT. WTF I HATE IT.  I HATE THIS. WHY. HORRIBLE. HORRIFIC.

OH SON OF A BITCH WTF. WHY KING MAN WHY. NOT COOL AT ALL. OH GOD THIS IS SO FUKING AWKWARD. I HATE IT. I HATE IT WITH SO MUCH OF MY BEING THIS IS NOT OKAY.

(Someone in the audience said “yaaaaaaaay” and started slow clapping). I hate it.

“Your flower gonna get eaten”. why?

Aaaahhhh!!!! “Simple. I’m asexual” YES THEN ACE WIZARD FOR THE WIN!

Ummm... there’s not mpreg in these books is there... like.. there’s not right?

The totally bizarre aggressive confidence sam has is genuinely terrifying

Omfg. Why would he advertise like that!?

Okay but. So like I’m annoyed and worried because I’m pretty sure y’all are fans of Justin (and idk probably ship him with Sam). And like I’m only a couple chapters in but I like Ryan. And idk why I haven’t see any of you mention him. So like wtf is he going to do to reverse all this set up? Like it totally reads as/feels mutual.

Like. What’s gonna happen? ‘Cause it’s making me nervous.

You’re adorable with your angry glitter.

—

Now. Tell me more about myself.

Ryan would laugh and I would laugh while I withered on the inside. Is probably one of the realist things I’ve ever read.

This book is like a completely inexplicable info dump. Like we’ve had almost no world building but there’s is so much happening all the time. Every other sentence has so much going on it’s like effort to actually fully comprehend the intended take away.

“Your segway was clunky and I am embarrassed for you.”

I love how sarcastic everyone is. It’s so much fun

So. Much. Confidence.

“Who was Todd trying to intimidate?”

Really Sam? REALLY?

Ryan is so protective.

-

Silence.

“Sweet gods”

JFC sam.

J. F. C. Sam!

Poor Todd. Poor poor Todd. Sweet boy.

DONT FUKIN PAT HIS DICK SAM!

Also why the weird gender switches when they’re talking abt marriage?

JUST BE QUIET SAM!

JUST SHUUUSHHHHH!

Awww Ryan knows his allergies.

(Also. Brutal allergies. Duck and blueberries are both lovely.)

Poor Todd.

also why does Todd keep repeating blueberries?

Ryan is definitely enjoying this fiasco at least a little bit.

The waiter practically ran away. “I like him. Very quick service”

PHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

“the tip of your sword is poking me [...] you’re getting it all over me.”

And of course. What this car crash of a date really needed was dark wizards. Of course. At least it means Sam might not talk more

- “I like your eyebrows”

Okay. Never mind that then.

“I didn’t accidentally cast an invisibility spell on the walk over”

K but. Like. Ryan is smitten right?

“Nice? That’s not a ringing endorsement.”

“I like your ears.”

“Everyone has ears sam”

Poor Sam. What an obtuse fool.

Did he just talk his way out of a fight by accident?

Oh maybe not..

Ayy he’s a badass fool

I really enjoy how the magic is written/written about. It’s got a really nice feel to it as a magic ‘system’

Also like.. bruh.. it is not painfully obvious the Ryan is his anchor/cornerstone?

It was all gonna be fine.

IT WAS NOT FINE!

[scrawlingskribbles]

yyyyYYYYYY'ALLLLL I had a freaking intensive dream about Rad Likes Robots and I kinda wanna cry???? ;;;;w;;;;

[[It’s a long ‘un this time too j f c;;;;]]

*snorts* I mean I've had that episode & all of its impossible-possibilities on my mind for days now lmfao so I suppose it was only a matter of time until I dreamt about it. But I never expected it to be anything like THIS omfg!! I'm not sure if this counts as a Prophecies from the Canon Radmond Universe one because like... there wasn't anything with me watching it from outside this time like I had with the others? This time it was Literally like my dream had pressed play on a new episode lmfao IT WAS SO INTENSE AAAAAAA BUT ANYWAYS:

Okay, so, it started with Rad all alone closing up the bodega, and it was like evening/twilight so getting pretty dark out already but he somehow still saw some movement over at Boxmore---3 shapes sneaking out of a side door and then booking it off down a nearby street, and Oh Boy Wasn’t That Suspicious. So Rad of course was like "oh jeez wth is going on here this Can't be good" so naturally he went to follow after them & got a little bit lost but eventually he did catch up enough to see them again & saw that it's---surprise-surprise---Darrell, Shannon, and Raymond.

But they didn't seem like they were doing anything awful---yet---just walking along and talking and teasing each other and talking about some kind of betting or something. Rad couldn't really hear them that well because he was keeping his distance so they wouldn’t notice him as he kept following, because even if they seemed okay for now he simply couldn't wrap his head around the thought that they could be up to anything that wasn’t Bad ((jeez Rad did u not learn ANYTHING from Mikayla?? ://)) so he kept following them to see where the heck they were headed so casually at this time of night and probably stop them if he had to, like a ~true hero~. 

So after a while of unexciting following them down streets & mostly back alleyways they rounded another building & when Rad got to the corner he accidentally slammed right into them because they'd stopped & waited for him. They were all like glaring at him AND RAYMOND WAS ACTUALLY CARRYING A JETHRO THIS WHOLE TIME ((not in the baby carrier tho; I weep TuT)) and Darrell was just like, "alright LOSER, you've been stalking us for blocks, what gives?? Don't you know it's creepy to follow people??" and Rad was just like baffled like, "???? excuse ME but when I see a bunch of Boxmore bots it's never a good thing, so I was trying to see where y'all are headed. Care to enlighten me now that I’ve actually got you talking, save us both some time and get it over with before it starts?" 

The bots all made a face & Shannon crossed her arms & snapped, "That's none of your business. Now leave us alone." and Rad was like "uh-huh, that's a totally believable argument. Wow, I never thought if it that way~! You're right, that's completely answered all of my questions, thank you~!" but of course that was super sarcastic and so Raymond was just like "We're not off to go do anything bad, if that's what you're worried about." And Rad was like, "Uh-huh. That's totally believable, too. Definitely not what bad guys say right before they go do something bad. *scoff* Do you really expect me to believe that the Boxmore Trio---err... q-quadrio? ((is that even a real word???? x,D))---isn't up to trouble? C'mon, what bank or store or warehouse ya gonna rob? What poor innocent victim ya gonna terrorize? What Evil Errands is Buttman having you run for him in the middle of the night????" ((even tho?? it was still kinda light outside so it wasn't THAT late??)) 

And Shannon & Darrell were like completely fed up already & totally ready to start throwing down but Raymond grabbed onto Shannon's shoulder ((bc he only had one arm bc of Jethro ;w;)) & he was like quiet & thoughtful for a moment before going, "Maybe we should just take him with us?" & the other two were like !!?!!?!????? (and so was Rad honestly x,D) but Raymond was just like, "Well clearly he's not just gonna take our word for it, so he'll just end up following us anyways if we leave him be, and I don't wanna get into a fight before we even get there, so..." He dug into the backpack that Darrell had been wearing this entire time & threw a dark blanket/cloak-thing at Rad & was like, "You want proof that we're not doing anything bad? Fine. Come see for yourself. But don't let anyone else see you; they're not gonna be as tolerant of a hero like you as we are." 

And then they all turned and started walking again without another word so Rad had to scramble up off of the sidewalk & put the cloak on & start following them again & the whole time he was just thinking to himself like "???? so it's SOME KIND of bad guy meet-up then---still doesn't sound good you know!!" But he was actually really curious now and kinda secretly super grateful that they were actually letting him come along?? because honestly why should they but whatever he wasn’t going to argue.

So the siblings all went back to talking and completely ignoring Rad’s existence until they got to a seemingly random side door of a building & followed the steps down inside, and it was like... idk, a fight club, I guess???? x,D Like an underground wrestling/MMA type-thing meets those robot wars/battles??? Like the thing in BH6 yanno, but I know that it's a real life thing too lmao I just dunno what they're called x,D The thing where people make robots & then fight them?? lmfao you know what I mean.

 So like, it was a bunch of different robots ranging all kinds of sizes and colors and builds all crowded around a ring cheering & stuff just having a great time while two other robots battled it out in the ring lmao. And like, because they're robots it was like, battling to the DEATH okay, like you only had a winner when the other robot was in pieces lmfao it was brutal and I freaking love it x,D

And Rad of course was just like "?????????? UMM??" bc what the heck is THIS, are these ALL a bunch of evil robots all crammed into this tiny space?????---but immediately the Boxmore bots got swept up in the energy & were all grinning & cheering & having a great time along with the rest of the crowd & Rad was just so bewildered & Confused. After a while Raymond leaned over & was like, "The real rounds are gonna start soon, so if you’re going to stay and watch then find yourself a good spot and don't let anyone find out who you are. And, hey, who knows, maybe you'll even enjoy yourself~?" And then they were gone & Rad was left alone in the crowd, but he did what he was told because he was So out of his element here but he was still so curious (and still a Bit suspicious tbh) that he definitely didn’t wanna leave, so he found a good spot & settled in just as the lights dimmed & an announcer voice came booming outta nowhere to welcome everyone to tonight’s tournament & announce that the fights were about to begin so all the robots that would be fighting needed to make sure they signed in to the roster/bracket ASAP so the night could begin. 

And yeah basically it was just the robots all facing off & fighting each other x,D I think it had like different sectors/levels too, like so it could try to keep the unfairness to a minimum by not putting the simpler Jethro-like bots up against the more highly-advanced ones like Darrell/Shannon/Raymond but idk because it kinda just montaged at that point lmao, but in the flashes they always looked like pretty equally-skilled/developed opponents, so~ But yeah the announcer was like spouting off stuff about each robot & their creator when it was their turn to be introduced & Rad realized that there were a few other (both cloaked and non-cloaked) non-robots in the audience as well, presumably the villains whose robots were fighting tonight, & Rad was like sweating bullets because he was apparently surrounded by both evil robots and evil villains & he was super nervous about getting caught now. But then as the fights went on he kinda forgot to be nervous because he got really into it actually ((c'mon it's robot fights, of course it's interesting xD)) & he actually started really rooting for the Boxmore bots because they were the only ones he knew and he was like full-on cheering & stuff when they did well lmao, even tho Jethro went out like immediately and Darrell & Shannon only got in a couple of rounds before they got smashed out, & Rad ended up actually being kinda sad for their losses too. 

But then Raymond ((of course *rolls my eyes So Hard at my predictable subconscious*)) was finally up to fight his first round and the announcer brought him in as "your reigning champion" and Rad was like "!!!!!!" and Raymond winked at him (it had to be at him, right, who else??, Rad thought) and then he just started wrecking his competition almost like it was nothing. Like he did still have to try & he was taunting & teasing & making bad puns the whole time just like he does when he fights at the Plaza, but he was totally just like blasting through all of his opponents & Rad was kinda like legitimately awestruck almost & evEN DID THE LITTLE "he's so... powerful..." THING LIKE HE DID WITH ENID I'M SOBBING........ 

And then it was down to the last two robots, which were of course Raymond and then AGH I don't remember the actual name my brain gave them but they were this really cool electric-blue robot that kinda looked like Cheshire from the original Teen Titans?? ((which now that I think about it is basically kinda what a more-humanoid Mikayla might look like if they had been yellow.... hmmm.... x,D)) and it's the Final Battle of the Night so u Know it's gonna be Good bc these are the two strongest bots in the whole place if they're the ones that made it to the final round & the crowd is so intense & Rad is Loving It. 

So of course ((I'm just gonna call them Ches now lmfao screw it)) Ches was like, actually super good of course and was actually giving Raymond a real run for his money for probably the first time that night. It also didn’t help that he'd already fought however many other rounds & wasn't completely unscathed from those (but neither was Ches tho so it was still pretty even on that part I'd guess), so this fight was like REALLY Super Intense and Good! And there was a part where Ches had Raymond tackled down & was about to win & Rad was all worried like "No c'mon Raymond you can't lose after all this!!!!" But then ofc Raymond pulled it off in the last second & flipped it around on them & BOOM, Ches is now in a million pieces scattered throughout the air and the crowd goes wild. 

But Rad's the one who jumped up and cheered the loudest, and Raymond could see him all happy and yelling and having such a great time out in the crowd, and Raymond gets this certain look on his face, kinda confused, for a second before it turns into a grin & he bows all dramatically a few times for his adoring public (and maybe some not-so-adoring sore losers too lmao) before the lights go up & the announcer guy was like welp that's the last of the fighters tonight so hope see everyone back again next time~!! 

And Rad was like on an adrenaline high now & just so stoked because Raymond ACTUALLY WON THE WHOLE THING OMG that's so COOL & he found Raymond back up by the front door again with Darrell's backpack over his shoulder and a box of Jethro/Darrell/Shannon parts to take back to Boxmore. And he just smiled all smug as Rad started talking at him a mile a minute as they left the battle club, going on & on & on about how awesome this was and wtf how long has this been going on and OMG Raymond you were GREAT man wtf also umm REIGNING CHAMPION, HELLO?????? 

And Raymond just laughed like, "Yeah, I've basically been sweeping the competition ever since I first stepped foot in the ring a few months ago. It's kinda sad sometimes how easy it is, but that’s just the territory that comes with being the best~ Every now and then I get a real challenge or two towards the end, like Ches tonight, and those really are a lot more fun than just wrecking through the unchallenging opponents~" 

And Rad snorted at his haughty/stuck-up/smug tone & was like, "Well too bad all this secret practice and winning doesn't seem to be helping you guys in trying to defeat us at the Plaza, huh?" & he was smiling & his eyes were all glittery & he was really just half-teasing, but Raymond only kinda shrugged and adjusted the box of smashed robo-parts in his arms. 

"Well, it is almost a completely different scenario. When we're out here fighting you guys, it's a whole different ballgame than when we're battling each other back there in the ring. It just a bunch of robots in there, you know?" 

And he looked at Rad pointedly at that ((bc Rad called at least Jethro simple/etc. back in Jethro's All Yours but how did Raymond know about that huh????)) and there was something about the way he said “robots” in such a dismissive tone when he was talking about all the amazing things Rad had just seen---talking about himself---that made Rad feel weird, & he furrowed his eyebrows, kinda a little offended on his behalf actually, & looked up at Raymond with these big, shiny, honest eyes and went, "Hey, don't say it like that. I like robots." 

And it took a second for him to register what he said & he like flusteredly blushed a tiny bit & pulled the cloak tighter around his face & basically pouted to the fullest extent now as they kept walking. But Raymond (after a couple seconds of mild shock like he had done back when he saw Rad cheering for him in the ring) just kinda smiled in this certain knowing way, but didn't say anything else either. And then the last shot was just of their backs as they walked beside each other back towards the Plaza, and then the end card slapped up and it ended. 

AND BASICALLY I LITERALLY WANNA CRY???????? WT-ACTUAL-F WAS T H A T, BRAIN???????????? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEE-HEEEE-HEEEeeeee becAUSE THIS EPISODE IS LITERALLY N E V E R GOING TO EXIST BUT I NEED IT LIKE AIR NOW?????????? F R I C K;;;;

[livingwithashipname-blog]

Ermanda’s Inner Sanctum: Scorpion 4.07 “Go With the Flo(rence)”

I liked this episode, but it failed to live up to its predecessor (2.09 US vs. UN vs. UK) referenced through MI6 agent, Gemma.  The premises were very similar: Scorpion was commissioned for a job with an ulterior motive they didn’t realize until they reached a point of no return.  This episode’s strength came through the EQ rollercoasters scattered throughout beginning to end, much like season 3.  The prevailing question was, “what do women want?”  And it was really funny to see Walter try to answer this question with Paige going back and forth! 😂  Plus, Ralph was testing his own plans to get Patty Logan's attention!  Let's talk about this and more! 

Walter & Ralph: Problem Solvers

I really like the juxtaposition of Ralph and Walter's issues with the women of their affection.  Walter sees an issue with Paige's accumulation of beauty items and develops a serum that addresses all her concerns without notifying her beforehand.  Ralph is taking the time to think about ways to get Patty's attention by appealing to that which she values most - punctuality.  Considering Walter is the one who has to learn more EQ, it seems quite odd that he feels led to advise Ralph.  Ironically, the advice Walter gives Ralph ends up working in his favor.  The instance set up another father-son dynamic between them that I anticipate to grow more throughout the season.  

Walter's struggle with Paige in this episode is very reflective of the IQ/EQ clash that the writers are heavily exploiting this season since Waige is officially a couple.  It is comedically executed. At first, he assumes.  Then he shows lack of emotional support by following Gemma without giving emphasis to Paige's vibe.  When Paige requests emotional support, Walter gives it at a stressful moment for the team, prompting Paige to make a request that contradicts what she says earlier.  No doubt Paige is not helpful when she doesn't provide enough context to support what is needed when, which makes it harder for Walter.  However, one of Walter's best qualities that I mention countless times in these reviews is his ability to accumulate information from a series of events and come through in the most clutch moments!  His success leads to a really sweet moment between Paige and him at the very end of the episode.  The whole experience also helps Paige cope with her son's romantic pursuits when Walter suggests that Ralph use this experience to become better at relationships than he is right now.  Thus, these combined scenarios highlights the family harmony that exists between Walter, Paige, and Ralph!  ALL THE FEELS!!!! 💓💓💓💙💛💙💛💙💓💓💓

Back to Basics 

One of the highlights of this show is Paige's role as the team's communicator - a job that extends in her romantic relationship with Walter.  We have seen this dynamic exploited in other relationships within this team (e.g., Happy and Toby, Cabe and Walter).  It's a core facet of the overall premise and we are seeing it again between Patty and Sly.  She specifically reminds Sly to speak to his governance and constituents as humans, not as students requiring lecture.  This is vital for him to effectively reinforce and execute his platform.  If one can not garner interest for a proposed solution to a problem, then it is increasingly hard to sell it no matter how many facts are provided.  I hope Sly manages to figure it out!  He always tries his best to come through when people need him most!  I love these little things that bring me back to the beginning!  

Hello Florence Tipton! 

Scorpion has a new "friend."  And I get so many season 1 Walter vibes from her.  Isn't it funny that Walter doesn't like her after their first encounter?!  Can we say that he has grown so much that he is averse to former versions of himself? 😂😂😂  (Side note: As a preview to a topic I will likely address in my review for episode 4.09 It’s Raining Men (of War), it is by design that Walter, Happy, and Florence are trapped together. You probably know where I am going with this if you are familiar with how I talk about Walter and Happy. 😉)  

She doesn't like noise.  Takes pride in her work.  Has an outcast story like the other geniuses on the team.  Plus, the showrunners tease that she will be a burr for Walter and Paige.  Don't know what way that will be yet, but I have a feeling it will fall along the lines of intellectual connection.  I am excited to learn more about her!  

Drabbles...

So it seems like Cabe and Toby are meeting for regular sessions! Aww yay! But Cabe is not progressing because he refuses to open up. 👀😒

Patty: Some advice… K.I.S.S. Keep It Simple, Sylvester. Speak to those guys in a way they can understand, like a human. Not like a lecturer. Speaking of lectures, I gotta get to school.  Sly, Cabe, and Happy (in unison): Because you’ve never had a tardy and you’re not gonna start now. P: Damn right. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

Why is Ralph hiding from Patty? Why is he scared of her? 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Oh lordt! Walter is trying to give Ralph advice on girls’ wants and needs! Send help! 😂😂😂😂😂

Walter, Walter, Walter… never come between a woman and her beauty products without making her aware of your suggestions first! Or better yet, just tell her she’s beautiful regardless! *facepalm*

It stinks and Happy figures Ray is back… 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Florence calls the ruckus in the garage by a certain name. Is it just me or did the writers manage to make a play on “covfefe” as a synonym for ruckus? If this is the case, I AM DEAD! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀💀

Walter: Team! Just got a call from Gleason. Toby: MI6 agent, Gleason? H: Cut his finger off to help us beat a dictator at the UN, Gleason? I love that guy. T: Easy on the love, darling. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Space lasers are going to hit the earth if Scorpion doesn’t stop the satellite. Toby’s response… “Who’s up for Vegas?!” 👀 Gets yanked right back in place by Happy. 👌🏾 Me: Interesting… very interesting. 🤔

Paige has a negative vibe about Gemma and Walter doesn’t see it to make a statement in support as a response. Uh oh! 🎧We going down, down baby…🎧 👀  

Why are they taking Cabe’s vehicle? Paige or Walter’s car would be more appropriate considering they are 10x more reliable right now. Happy just started working on it! I understand it is an extension of Cabe’s arc.  Yet, it makes sense that only Walter and Paige are his passengers. Happy already stated that she wasn’t going to hop into that vehicle; Toby travels with his wife; and Sly would choose to go with Happy with whom he is already familiar than travel in a vehicle that’s essentially a “struggle bus!” Besides, Sly is like Quintis’ little brother! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Revolutionary war joke with a British spy?! Ooh BURN!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

The hacker dumped the fob in the toilet and flushed it down the city’s drainage system! EWW! In the words of Cabe… Oh crap! 💩💩💩💩

Gemma: Ugh, it’s not in there. It’s gone. S: You’re gonna want to have that arm removed.  😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀

H (to Toby): Quick! Give me your keychain. (keychain says “attaboy”) T: What are you doing with my “attaboy?” (Happy flushes the keychain down the toilet.) T (to Sly): See that’s why I can’t have nice things. H: Uh… After Collins escaped, I installed GPS onto your keychain in case he kidnapped you again. T (to urinating guy): Don’t you see how much this woman loves me? Urinating Guy: I just came in to urinate. Now I can’t. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💚💚💚💚💚 Btw, Jadyn’s hair is sooo ridiculously gorgeous in this shot!

H: We don’t know what could happen to those guys down there. We need to stay close to the fob in case we need to take their place. S: I am only gonna say this once. There is not a chance in H-E- double wizard wands that I am ever going down into the sewer. Me: Yeah… that only means Sly is going down into the sewer. 😂😂😂😂😂

Sly says schematics show there is debris in the pipe. VFX doesn’t convince me of that. Lol! #gaffe

Toby and Cabe are the epitome of “good cop, bad cop” during this interrogation! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Florence: Was I not direct with you people?! I thought I made myself very clear! (looks around) Sirens, flashing lights… is this some kind of a party? (perp flies out of trailer bound & gagged) Oh! It seems that it is some kind of party. Uh, I do not wish to attend this party. C: We can explain. F: No need. Good day. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀

Flo and Toby’s banter as she is trying to leave… 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀💀💀

Walter recognizes Paige’s feelings and validates them… doesn’t work! 😂😂😂😂😂😂💀 Oh pobrecito! Paige is losing her patience because she’s too scared about the rat! Lordt! 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Umm… when did the back bed cover on Happy’s truck suddenly disappear?! Ran the red light… it was there. Shot of her driving fast down a residential service street… not there. When she and Sly reach the waste facility… it suddenly reappears! 👀 #gaffe Anything on the license plate, Ann @aspiestvmusings?

The stud finder joke returns! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Toby is an enthusiastic lover, huh?! Happy repeats the phrase! Hehehehe! #KinkyQuintis

W: Sly, I need your tablet! S (to Happy): Can you give him my tablet? H (to Walter): Don’t drop it! P: Uh no offense, Walter. I think I should probably catch it. W: (thinks) I concur. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂💀 Also, doesn’t anyone find it ironic that Happy tells Walter not to drop it?! Funny considering she dropped that wrench he passed to her last time. 😂😂😂 Yeah, that was a bit of shade from me. Tehehehe!

Man! Sly is getting a huge dose of exposure therapy this season!

Is it just me or does it seem like the emotional effort behind saving Sly was a bit slow?

I just love this Quintis tag team with Cabe! How awesome is it that Happy is the one to tell Cabe to stop being so closed off?! HOLY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!! GIVE ME MORE!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

The atomic watch Ralph makes for Patty looks a lot like an Apple watch… 👀😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Family moments a la Walter, Paige and Ralph… 💓💓💓💙💛💙💛💙💓💓💓

Ralph: My woman had a problem and I solved it. W: (looks to Paige) I don’t know where he got that. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Aww Flo!!! She’s just like them!

Walter’s still working on that love song! EEK!!!

P: Well? W: Well what? P: Look at me, Walter. I don’t have any of my beauty products which is why I need all that stuff now. W: (stares) I see absolutely no difference. P: Are you kidding me? W: No. All I see is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I truly see no difference. 😍💙😍💙😍💙😍💙😍💙😍💙😍 WAIGE FEELS!!!

Okay guys! Paige and Walter wear a lot of blacks and blues. Could there be a theme?! Hmm, I wonder… 🤔

[hithelleth]

Salvation S1

Why do I keep getting into shows that are likely to be cancelled!? Oh, right, because I’m a masochist. So, I’ve finished Salvation and it was so good! I’ve been internally squeeing for days, so I’ll try to get things out of my system now so I can then maybe focus on other fannish (and non-fannish) things.

(This turned out long, so I put it under the cut and tried to make it more easily readable with some bolding. My apologies to those on mobile.) 

I’ve always had a thing for doomsday premises, so this was right up my alley with an impending extinction level event that must remain secret from the general populace to avoid panic while the big shots try to prevent it.

Except that unlike a number of cheesy movies where the world comes together to save humanity and/or help each other after the disaster, Salvation creators tackled it from the other end: the whole season is set before the disaster strikes and nobody is willing to cooperate.

I found the approach refreshing and really liked it. Probably because I’m what I call a pessimistic idealist. I mean, don’t get me wrong, obviously, if such a scenario happens in real life, I do hope (or want to) that humanity would come together to save itself/the Earth. But the pessimist in me thinks there is just as much chance for us to kill each other before the Earth/space/whatever gets to us.

Although, of course, with the current political atmosphere where the orange menace and the little dumpling (you know who I mean, they don’t deserve to be named) are throwing threats with nuclear war weapons around, the cold-war-era-like hostilities in the show gave me chills.

So, there’s political power play galore while the tech wiz and co. are trying to find the way to save the world while being obstructed on every step by politicians. I liked the suspense it all brought out, and how it made the show fast paced (but didn’t take anything from complexity). I also liked all the shadiness and there was a lot of it around, as basically everyone does at least something not quite right (even if with the best of intentions).

I liked that the focus of the show is sort-of evenly spread between science and politics as well as different age groups, as in the characters in their early to mid-twenties and those around/in their forties, which I’m more into the older I get (seriously, it’s one of the biggest reality checks as to age when I realise that the character/actor(ess) is only a few years older than me, or worse, younger!)

And while I’m at that… I have a new OT3!!!! Come on, you knew this was coming, I’m that weird person who can find more or less likely OT3s anywhere and I proudly own it.

But damn it, I wasn’t looking for it! Then again I never do, you know how it goes: I don’t choose my ships, they chose me. Those three fuckers! Why am I doing this to myself? Why? *high pitched pterodactyl screeching*

I’m talking about Harris/Grace/Darius (in all variations), just to be clear. Seriously, I have no idea how it happened, but around episode 5 or 6, I was like, “well maybe instead of squabbling and ‘slight’ signs of jealousy, you could, you know, work together?” and then one thought led to another and I was like, “yeah, I could ship it, provided Harris wasn’t evil…” (I mean, he was a very, very bad boy once or twice, but turned out not to be evil) and the rest is history. *insert more swearing* Yeah, episode 8 didn’t help at all. And then of course they did work together so well towards the end of the season. *sighs*

Anyway, look, I’m not asking for much, just a S2 where they can occasionally (well, the more often the better, but I’ll take what I get) share screen time and be the badass power world/country-saving trio they are. My imagination can do the rest. ;)

But of course, IAD was promoted to a regular on Hawaii 5-O, so I’m not sure what that would mean – although Salvation is a summer show, so I guess coordination could be possible – and the ratings seem to be shit and I don’t want to get my hopes up despite the articles floating around saying not all is lost for S2. *fingers crossed*

Which brings me to a bit of ranting about a plot hole or two and a few general observations and possible S2 speculations.

a) You want me to believe that the US Secretary of Defence can just simply drive around on his own, NBD, and nobody bats an eye? FFS, even in my itty bitty country where the cabinet members really aren’t in much danger of imminent assassination, they have drivers and security details, especially the Defence Minister. It did come very handy for the plot that Harris could just drive around like it’s nobody business, though.

b) How did they get the selected 160 on site so fast? Magic? Because they couldn’t have picked them solely from Tanz personnel, since that would be mostly scientists, and they did pick historians, artists, etc…  And those would be from all around the country, I’d say. (It’s shitty enough that they would be all only Americans, like the rest of the world has no smart people to offer. Also, for genetic diversity it would be better if people were from other countries, too.)

Unless they brought them into Tanz as they picked them, before the nuclear alarm. But didn’t they finish the selection process just a day or a couple before (my memory is a bit foggy, I’ll have to rewatch)?

And nobody seemed surprised at the sight of the space-ship, so I guess they were told the actual truth or at least the Mars colonisation version beforehand? I think the second is more likely.

But, never mind, that is not even my biggest problem with the 160 and I can easily let it pass, because time on TV can work in mysterious ways (plus, maybe they cut the scenes that were supposed to clear it up.)

c) No, my biggest problem is that if 160 people are the minimum viable population, I assume those people must be able to procreate (and have healthy and diverse enough genes.) 

And so there were mostly young people in their twenties (mostly women) and thirties in the Salvation bunker. So far so good.

Of course if we only look to the continuation of human species, choosing young people makes sense.

(I’m not going into the fact that if all those youth are the best and the brightest, there would be other issues with picking people who must have been child prodigies and could therefore lack the social skills that are just as important for humanity as science – but I guess the humanities studies part of the group can compensate for what others lack in that field.) 

It also makes perfect sense that some people would be chosen for qualities other than reproductive abilities, which is where Harris and Grace come in.

I mean, men don’t have that sort of a problem, but with Zoe about to start college, Grace must be at least in her early 40s (although Jennifer is younger) since she doesn’t strike me as a teen mom, and a woman of her age has a hard time having a healthy child even in the most optimal, peaceful conditions and with the best medical treatment available, so I think it’s safe to say Grace having any more kids, especially in a couple of years, is out of the question. But that’s okay.

My problem is with Darius being disqualified on grounds of carrying the Huntington’s gene. Sure, it served as a fantastic testimony of his character that he would work on the Mars project and then this saving the mankind thing knowing that he can’t go/save himself. That’s great, what a good person!

But since other people were picked for their leadership/wisdom/merit, then why not Darius?

Did the writers forget that contraception is a thing? You know, to prevent ‘accidentally’ spreading his bad genes around? And pre-natal screening also exists (okay, IDK if they can find out about the Huntington’s gene that way, but still) – and there are doctors (I assume a few actual MDs have been picked) around to do it and in case of a positive result an abortion is an option? (But god forbid we’d even think of the A-word on a national network in the US, of course.) Or you know, just have the guy have a vasectomy, the easiest sure-fire solution. (Yeah, now I’m being mean.)

My point in short: there is no logical reason (I know, looking for logic on TV; I never learn) for Darius not to be among the 160 apart from the writers’ need for characterisation through drama.

Anyway, I think that if we get S2, it might turn out the nukes were false alarm or something, because Santiago Cabrera is first-billed and I expect they wouldn’t kill him off, so this disqualification issue will be moot.

So, if we get S2:

d) The usurping VP (why TF does he have to be named Monroe Bennett? *wry smile* *cue reminiscing of a certain other show*) escaped and will be wreaking havoc, I assume.

e) I’d really like if Amanda somehow survived (I mean, it’s TV, anything is survivable on TV, a little chest/shoulder wound should be nothing), because I liked her.

f) I had to google the actor who played Grace’s dad (he was awesome!) because he looked familiar and look, he also played the substitute pressie who needed to be bullied into doing the right thing in TLS.

g) With the EM drive being magnetic (duh), I think Liam’s idea has something to do with trying to use the EM drive to pull the asteroid in off the impact course. I vote for partial success, because otherwise the show’s premise would go out of the window and they might as well just end it.

And I think that’s all I’ve got (for now).

I think I’ll go find some pretties to queue up for next week. Although, I’ve already been in the tags a little and as far as I could see, nobody ships my OT3 (I’m not surprised at all), so I might need to do some giffing myself. And maybe write fic. But after I finish my current fic exchange assignment, which I should be doing instead of writing this, but oh well. Maybe now I’ll be able to concentrate better.

Tagging @street-of-mercy, because you got me into this mess! ;) (You don’t have to respond or anything, but in case you’re interested in my thoughts and questionable shipping choices, here you go. :D) 

[swearronchanel]

6.08, my last commentary™ R I P to me

I wanted to post this right away but my phone died and I broke my charger so I had to handle that but now I’m finally able to. I’m literally dead, I STILL can not process how amazing it was. So I’ll just get on with it post my earlier thoughts  

¡¡TODAY IS THE DAY AHH!! IM FREAKING LATE KILL ME

BUT HOW ARE WE ALREADY HERE? IM NOT READY FOR THIS SERIES TO END BUT I NEED TO SEE SHELGAH *SAFELY* GIVE BIRTH TO A HEALTHY BABY. ANYWAY IM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE AFTER THIS EPISODE SO ENJOY THE FINAL THOUGHTS OF MY LIFE, LETS GET IT ..

MY HEART IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE ITS BEATING SO FAST

TBH I MIGHT SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

SCREW THESE CREDITS BUT I NEED THEM BC IM NOT READY OMG

IM SCREAMING

aw baby! & hey val

Does this mean Delia had No letters from pats this whole time??

MY BBY SHELAGH OMG HER BELLY

SHE CANT REACH HER SHOE OMG SO PRECIOUS THOUGH

Sister MJ I love u 😭😂

Family planning clinic!

YES VAL! they’re women not criminals !!

YES TRIXIE THANKS BBY FOR SPEAKING UP

aww poor Barbara

“..There are tales of missionaries served for luncheon in those climes” LMAO OMG SISTER MJ THATS NOT WHAT SHE NEEDS TO HEAR RIGHT NOW

It’s so sweet that Babs really wants her dad, I feel. My grandfather officiated my parents’ and brother’s wedding, I hope he does mine. If someone wants to marry me one day ofc lol 😂😭

SHELAGH IS ACTUALLY YELLING .. WHY DO I LOVE IT?

All the shit she’s been through/delt with and pregnancy sets her off huh..

BUT TRIXE AND SHEALGH INTERACTING YESS NOT THE WAY I WANTED BUT ILL TAKE IT FOR NOW

AWW MY BBY CRYING SOMEONE HUG HER 😭😭💕💕

MY BBY TRIXIE IS SMIRKING AT MY OTHER BBY LOL STOP 😭😭💔

“Hot and bothered” 😭😂 Violet having hot flashes. That’s not funny but i giggled I’m sorry immature of me

I can’t imagine being around when the pill was just coming out(or antibiotics even) like that must have been so wild ? you really would think they were magic *remember Vanessa Redgrave saying that in series 2?*

my mom is a nurse at a gyn/fertility office and she informed me of so much at a young age lol maybe that’s why I’m so curious idk?

lol I remember being like 13 and my friends didn’t know there was more than just the pill when it came to birth control and I really felt I was an expert😂 but *a judge’s voice* irrelevance moving on.

Needing your husbands permisson for a bank account? *sucks teeth* Vete ya!

Aw my bby shelagh 💔💔😭

“And I’ll warrant you’ve never felt more scared” I AM! AND THIS ISNT EVEN MY FICTIONAL PREGNANCY

“Oh lass“😭 PHYLLIS COMFORTING HER OMG I AM CRYING ALREADY, I NEVER KNEW I WANTED THIS

"Phyllis you’ve been a real friend” IM NOT OKAY OMG, THEY’VE COME SO FAR I CRY

OMG SHELAGH BEING SO CUTE WTF OMGGG 💖

PROTECT MY BBY & HER BABY AT ALL COSTS 💕💕

THE NONNATUNs CHEERING SO PURE 😭

“What if something goes wrong?” stop tempting fate Patrick !!

“I’ve made up my mind” MY BBY I CANT DEAL .. once upon a time she couldn’t speak up and was so timid 😭 my bby has grown

Her lipstick is a nice color, wait what’s this lady’s name?

The nurses all together makes me so happy omg why is this so adorable, even Phyllis is there !! SO PURE💕

Lol poor Fred tries his best !

Damn secondment to st Cuthberts, I guess Trixie couldn’t even be considered for to be Shelagh’s midwife

SHELAGH IN THE CARDIGAN >>

OF COURSE SHE CHOSE SISTER JULIENNE WE WOULDN’T HAVE ACCEPTED IT ANY OTHER WAY

“‘MY DEAR” BRB DROWNING IN TEARS

but omg was Phyllis disappointed 😭 no don’t be hurt that’s her basically her mother! (sister j and Phyllis would’ve been a good tag team though)

this montage just reminds me brb #irresponsibleme

Future Hereward’s take a note from the Turners, find out about each other sooner rather than later

LOL TOM’S AWKWARD FACE BC BABS IS GETTING CONTRACEPTION

it’s Wilma! her name is Wilma, noted.

Lol what does she sell? Is the company like Avon ? 😂I’m confused but also screaming too much internally

poor Babs is so nervous and feeling awkward 😂

Her face while on the bed😂 I feel

LMAO BABS TAKING OUT THE DIAPHRAGM & DROPPING IT HA

BUT WAIT THAT WAS THE TURNERS BATHROOM WTF ??

Patrick putting on or tying Shelagh’s shoes my fucking heart is melting

She doesn’t want him there .. for now?

“..We’re a team” 😭😭💕💕 marriage goals

“The minute I look at you I’ll give you everything you ask for” BRB I AM INDEED GOING TO SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST

I CAN NOT DEAL

Phyllis exercising 😭😂

“I have chosen one of my friends” OMG MY HEART

PHYLLIS BE MY BRIDESMAID !??

why does she only have one though? is it more like a maid of honor?

HERES COME MORE TEARS

THE SPANISH AYE DIOS MI CORAZON

Aw good for Wilma being happy with her job! Does everyone call the sofa the settee?

There’s that babycham! Still was never sure if it was alcoholic or nah? sparkling cider maybe?

OMG I HAVE A BOTTLE IN MY BAG THAT I BROUGHT FROM FLORIDA

new drinking came, shots every time the show makes you cry lol jk i’d be on the floor 20 mins in 

that sports car aye

My bby looking good 😍😍

she knows what it’s like to be hurt Christopher😭

You’re not supposed to take 3 at a time Wilma, I’ve been scolded enough

Okay so Babs just fell asleep and that’s all?? Preview made it seem more dramatic

Now is Val going to listen and not touch anything? lol probably

Violet always rocking blue eyeshadow haha

Is that a silicone faja?? that looks hella uncomfortable

TRIXIE’S FACE OF DISGUST HAHA

OMG THE FAM HELPING OUT WITH FUNDS MY HEART

I WANT TO BE APART OF THE NONNATUS FAMILY!

PHYLLIS AND BABS DRESS SHOPPING I LOVE THIS

“.. she’ll have me to reckon with”  TE QUERIO MUCHO PHYLLIS

I NEED A PHYLLIS IN MY LIFE

SHE HAS A FAV DRESS OMG I LOVE HER

HER FACE OMG I NEED THAT SCREENSHOTTED

SHELAGH MY BBY😭😭

Their new bedroom is so 60s I love it

She still didn’t read the pamphlet !! I love her omg, such pure intentions

OMG SISTER J REMINISCING, AH FINALLY SOME ACKNOWLEDGEMENT THAT SHE WAS A NUN, I AM SOBBING BYEE IM DYING. MY HEART RATE IS SLOWING DOWN

POOR DEELS AW OMG she doesn’t deserve this, she barely has screen time don’t hurt her 

Shealgh’s got another nightgown! 1962/2017 is apparently the year of nighties #thebrinylonforthewinthough

I love pink waffers 😭😂

SHIT WHAT’S WRONG WITH WILMA IM SCARED, IS IT A HEART ATTACK?? BLOOD CLOT??

poor vi!! aww she misses reggie too!

AW FRED HUG HER

and he’s fanning her omg so pure

SHEALGH’S GOING IN TO LABOR ?? AHHHHH OMGG IM NOT READY

but also she has a housecoat how cute

SISTER J SAID “HIS SPINE” OMG HOW DOES SHE KNOW ALREADY

“I knew it” bless u bby😭😭 she is a GEM. WHY IS SHE SO LOVABLE?

omg Wilma don’t die, Trixie can u save her 😭

shit not looking good, maybe this was the death they meant

shelagh throwing up yikes

“She’s smiling and waving” yea we know that smiling and waving😂😂 but omg doesn’t this remind anyone of when you’ve been partying too hard but you’re trying to convince your friends that you’re not ready to tap out yet😂😭

if not nevermind I’ll feel trashy lmaoo

PASS THAT GAS AND AIR SISTER J

AW BBY YOU ARE BRAVE!!!!!!!

IM CRYING BUT RUNNING OUT OF TEARS

HOW TF DOES LAURA LOOK GORGEOUS ALL SWEATY AND IN TEARS WHILE PRETENDING TO BE IN LABOR?? & i’m still a creature?

Poor Patrick! He must be going as crazy as I am!

I DONT HAVE ASTHMA BUT I NEED AN INHALER BC I CANT BREATHE IM SO ANXIOUS OMG

IM NOT A SMOKER BUT I FEEL LIKE I NEED A CIGG BC IM ABOUT TO LOSE IT

Trixie is doing Wilma’s makeup omg I can’t take this 😭💔💔

“I can’t believe I used to dream of this” OMG SHELAGH & SISTER J

“Every woman alive is the sum of all she ever did, and felt, and was.” ..“and how do you know that?” ..“ i wasn’t aware that I did until just now”

¡¡¡IM A W R E C K!!! l o v e that

SHE IS SINGING DORIS DAY’s SECRET LOVE AND I AM F*CKING DEAD GOODBYE

PATRICK SINGING ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR SOMEONE SEND H E L P IM DYING I BET IT’S “THEIR SONG” & YOU ARE ALL CORDIALLY INVITED TO MY FUNERAL IMMEDIATELY AFTER THIS EPISODE  

I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT

“We can’t just be like any other couple.. because we’re us”

MY HEART WTF I SWEAR IT IS ABOUT TO BURST BUT IT’S NOT BEATING

IM DEAD INSIDE AND MY BODY WILL FOLLOW WHEN THIS IS OVER

Get in there Patrick!

“The children are here” .. to say goodnight omg no😢

OMG PATRICK HOLDING HER I AM FUCKING SCREAMING

“YOU CLEVER GIRL” OMGG WHO CALLED IT

I CANT SEE WHATS HAPPENING TOO MANY TEARS IN MY EYES

IT’S A BOY I KNEW IT WELL I HAD A FEELING !

BABYTURNERLAND 2.0!!!! QUE LINDO DIOS TE BENDIGA 💖👼🏼

WHAT IS HIS NAME???

THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE OF MY LIFE WOW I CANT PROCESS IT ALL

“May the lord bless you and keep you” OMGGG, JESUS HEIDI WTF ARE YOU DOING TO ME ??!! I’ve never been so invested in a show or fictional characters’ lives like this 😭😭

I NEVER THOUGHT WE’D SEE THIS DAY AND IM HAVING SO MANY FEELS, I BARELY HAVE ANY THOUGHTS I AM S h o o k, I AM NOTHING IN THIS WORLD. JUST USELESS TRASH FOR CTM

WELL, ALMOST 19 YEARS OF LIVING WAS GOOD ENOUGH RIGHT?

HONESTLY JUST PUT ME IN THE GARBAGE BC I HAVE NOTHING OF SUBSTANCE TO SAY IM JUST GUSHING AND DYING

BUT SERIOUSLY LAURA MAIN IS I N C R E D I B L E AND DESERVES EVERY AWARD SO PLEASE GET IT TOGETHER @ THE EMMYS, THE SAGS, THE GOLDEN GLOBES & ALL OTHER AWARDS OF ALL PRESTIGE!!  STOP PLAYING GAMES & GIVE LAURA + CTM THE RECOGNITION IT DESERVES  !! & no excuses it happened for downton!

NO WILMA IS DEAD NO

The pill is so great and useful and miraculous in a way but I’m glad they showed some of its issues but DID THEY REALLY HAVE TO KILL THE FIRST WOMEN THEY GAVE IT TO? I’m still here tho, I’m rolling

NO TOM DONT SAY THaT WTF? TRIXIE IS OVER U AND U ARE OVER HER don’t ruin the moment

why did I think bab’s dad was the rev Applebee Thornton 😭😂😂😂?? where’s Jane lol

My bby trixie serving looks as always 😍😍

Aw his daughter is cute

CHRISTOPHER LOOKS GOOD TOO UGH😍

What are knickerbocker glories?

lol Boots! lowkey want to go there to satisfy my 15 year old self who liked to watch British youtubers affordable makeup videos (tbh I still do when I’m bored)

REGGIE! OMG HE CALLED VI MUM I DIE

OH YEA THE WEDDING OMG LOL I DONT FORGOT FOR A SEC

IM STILL SCREAMING, MY FREAKING BBY JUST HAD A MIRACLE BABY !!!!! I LEGIT RAN OUT OF TEARS WHAT DO I DO

LOOK HOW FAR WE HAVE COME MY GOD

THE GIRLS SINGING “HAPPY WEDDING DAY” TO BABS OMG THAT WAS GREAT, I NEED FRIENDS LIKE THAT

I NEED TO WATCH THIS AGAIN AND IT DIDNT FINISH YET

LMAO TOM AND FRED HUNGOVER, relatable AF😂😭

SO IS TOM’S SURPRISE IS MONEY? Or is he going to buy her something!?

Barbara’s cape reminds me of Phoebe’s from FRIENDS

The stain glass !! love it

PHYLLIS LOOKS SO ADORABLE OMG HER BOUCLE SUIT AW

WHY A HEADBAND ON YOUR WEDDING DAY BABs? BUT good for them lol 😭 I don’t care enough at the moment  but let them be happy they’re so great for each other !

HE GOT A FUCKING CAROUSEL OMG

damn. Nice one Tom. I’m a little jealous, someone needs to love me like that.😭

“At times, the present seems most perfect when it seeds lie in the past. And others, life is rendered flawless when we look towards future, glimpsing from within one golden moment all the joys the days to come might hold” 💕😢😭

THE TURNERS, NOW A FAMILY OF 5 OMGGGGGGG 😭😭

THE NUNS SO PURE ❣️ lol obviously

“We can not stand still because the world keeps turning. Every year must give way to the next and it’s stories must be folded, tucked away like children’s clothes outgrown, cherished and never quite forgotten”

VANNESSA ALWAYS SAYS THE RIGHT THINGS UGH

Aw Angela with Tim!

My BBY SHELAGH IN HER BLUE OUTFIT WITH UNNAMED BABY TURNER ID CRY IF I COULD

“1962 was a year of great change at Nonnatus House, but there’s always change, everywhere, there are always new faces, new tears to shed, new joys to invest in , yet the circle of love is not broken, it expands.” YOU GOT THAT RIGHT🙏🏼👏🏼🙌🏻😭😭😢😢💖💖

I NEED THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL LIKE TOMORROW PLEASE

lol Val screaming it’s snowing 😭 same

PATSY!!!

SHE AND DELIA KISSED OMG

GOOD FOR THEM 😭

ALSO GOOD FOR ME bc I was tired of the same complaints that BBC broke them apart and Patsy was “sent away” nah man Emerald was busy!

“Love bares all things, love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things and love never ends”

THIS WAS INCREDIBLE WOW IM A MESS

IF I DIDNT KNOW THEY WERE COMMISSONED FOR 3 MORE SERIES I’D THINK THIS WAS THE END??

BUT UGH NOW WE MUST WAIT

ANYWAY I SEE THE LIGHT FOLKS

IDK IF THIS IS HELL OR HEAVEN BUT I AM DEAD, I SEE THE EARTH BEHIND ME

TBH ITS PROB HELL

Someone throw me in the damn ground already!!

In loving memory of Gabby Nuñez (1998-2017) taken far too soon because of the emotional toll brought by call the midwife, she didn’t choose to get so emotionally invested it just happened. She is grateful for her time on earth, you may leave comments, flowers or send money. Thank you for putting up with her nonsense and foolishness *now someone give my eulogy & someone else may come up and sing a hymn to conclude*

[isearchgoood]

Have Your Agency’s Clients Considered a Local Product Kiosk? Google Has.

Posted by MiriamEllis

File this under fresh ideas for stagnant clients.

It’s 10:45 at night and I’m out of:

Tortillas

Avocados

Salsa

Maybe I just got off of work, like millions of other non-nine-to-fivers. Maybe I was running around with my family all day and didn’t get my errands done. Maybe I was feeling too sick to appear in a public grocery store wrapped in the ratty throw from my sofa.

And now, most of the local shops are closed for the night and I’m sitting here, taco-less and sad.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if I could search Google and find a kiosk just a couple of blocks away that would vend me solutions, no matter what time of night or day?

Something old is becoming new again, just like home delivery. And for your agency’s local business clients, the opportunity could become an amazing competitive advantage.

What’s up with kiosks?

Something old

The automat was invented in Germany in the late 19th century and took off in the US in the decades following, with industry leader Horn & Hardart’s last New York location only closing in 1991. These famous kiosks fed thousands of Americans on a daily basis with on-demand servings of macaroni, fish cakes, baked beans, and chicory coffee. The demise of the automat is largely blamed on the rise of the fast food industry, with Burger Kings even opening doors at former automat locations.

Something new

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an episode of my favorite local SEO news roundup in which Ignitor Digital’s Carrie Hill mentioned a meat vending kiosk. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about this. What I learned sparked my imagination on behalf of local businesses which are always benefitted by at least considering fresh ideas, even if those ideas are actually just taking a page from history and editing it a bit.

Something inspirational

What I learned from my research is that the Applestone Meat Company is distinguishing itself from the competition by offering a 24/7 butcher shop via two vending installations in the state of New York. They also have a drive-up service window from 11am–6pm, but for the countless potential customers who are at work or elsewhere during so-called “normal business hours,” the meat kiosks are ever-ready to serve.

CEO Joshua Applestone says he was inspired by the memory of Horn & Hardart and he must be one smart local business owner to have taken this bold plunge. The company has already earned some pretty awesome unstructured citations from the likes of Bloomberg with this product marketing strategy and they’re planning to open ten more kiosks in the near future.

But Applestone isn’t alone. A kiosk can technically just be a fancy vending machine. Check out Chicago startup Farmer’s Fridge. They recently closed a $30 million Series C round led by one-time Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s Innovation Endeavors. Their 200+ midwestern units provide granola, Greek yogurt, pasta, wraps, beverages, and similar on-the-go fare, and they donate leftovers to local food pantries.

Americans have long been accustomed to ATM machines. DVD and game rental stations are old news to us. We are nowhere near Japan, with its sixty-billion-dollar-a-year, national vending machine density of one machine per 23 citizens, and its automated sales of everything from ramen to socks to umbrellas. Geography and economics don’t point to the need to go to such a level in the US, but where convenience is truly absent, opportunity may reside. What might that look like?

Use your imagination

My corner of the world is famous for its sourdough bread. There are hundreds of regional bakeries competing with one another for the crustiest, lightest, most indulgent loaf. But, if you don’t make it to the local stores by early afternoon, your favorite brand is likely to have sold out. And if you’re working the 47-hour American work week, or gigging California night and day but don’t want to live on fast food, you’d likely be quite grateful to have your access to artisan baguettes restored.

Just imagine every bread bakery around the SF Bay Area installing a kiosk outside its front door, and you can hear the satisfied after-hours crunching, can’t you?

Applestone is selling unprepared meat, Farmer’s Fridge is selling prepared meals, and almost anything people nosh could be a candidate for a kiosk, but why should on-demand products be limited to food? I let my imagination meander and jotted down a quick list of things people might buy at various off-hours, if a machine existed outside the storefront:

Books/magazines

Weather-appropriate basic apparel (sweatshirts, socks, t-shirts)

First aid supplies

Baby care supplies

Emergency electronics (chargers, batteries, flashlights)

Basic auto repair supplies (headlight bulbs, wipers, puncture kits)

Personal care products (bathroom tissue, toiletries)

Office supplies (printer ink, paper, envelopes, stamps)

Household goods (lightbulbs, laundry soap, pantry basics)

Pet supplies

Travel/camping/athletic supplies

Basic craft supplies, small games, gifts, etc.

What if customers who do their morning bike ride at 5 AM knew they could stop by your client’s kiosk to fix a punctured tire? What if night workers knew they could pick up a box of light bulbs or bandages or cat food on their way to their shift? Think of the convenience — in some instances even life-saving help — that could be provided to travelers on the road at all hours, members of your community who are housing-insecure, or whole neighborhoods that lack access to basic goods?

Not every local business has the right model for a kiosk, but once I started to think about it, I realized just how many of them could. I’m initially envisioning these machines being installed at the place of business, but, where the scenario is right, a company with the right type of inventory could certainly place additional kiosks in strategic locations around the communities they wish to serve.

Kiosk Local SEO

Clearly, kiosks can generate revenue, but what could they do for clients’ online presence? The guidelines for representing your business on Google already support the creation of local business listings for ATMs, video rental stations, and express mail dropboxes. But I went straight to Google with the Applewood example to ask if this emerging type of kiosk would be permitted to create listings. They were kind enough to reply:

The link in the Twitter DM reply just pointed to the general guidelines, and I can find no reference to the term “Food Kiosk listing” in them. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this terminology. But, clearly this representative is naming food kiosks as a “thing.” Google, it seems, is already quite aware of this business model. And the proof of their support is in the Maps pudding:

My, my! Talk about having the ability to hyperlocalize your local search marketing to fit Google’s extreme emphasis on user-to-business proximity. Enough to make any local SEO agency see conversions and dollar signs for clients.

Tip #1: Helpline phone numbers

I’ve written about ATM SEO in the past for financial publications, and so I’ll add one important tip for creating eligible Google listings for kiosks: guidelines require that you have a helpline phone number for kiosk users. I would post this number both on the listings and on the units, themselves. Note that this will likely mean you have a shared phone number on multiple listings, which isn’t typically deemed ideal for local search marketing, but if kiosks become your model and you avoid any semblance of creating fake listings, Google can likely handle it.

Tip #2: Unique local landing pages for your kiosks

I can also see value in creating unique location landing pages on client websites for their kiosks, especially if they aren’t stationed at your physical location. These pages could give excellent driving and walking directions for each unit, explain how to use the machine, feature reviews and testimonials for that location, and perhaps highlight new inventory.

Tip #3: Capitalize on your social media

Social media will also be an excellent vehicle for letting particular neighborhoods know about client kiosks and engaging with communities to understand their sentiments. Seek abundant feedback about what is and isn’t working for customers and how inventory could better serve their needs. And, of course, be sure every client is monitoring reviews like a low-flying hawk.

Is there an appetite for kiosks?

Image credit: Ben Chun

I’m a longtime observer of rural local SEO. I’ve learned that being intentional in noticing small things can lead to big ideas, and almost any novel concept is worth floating to clients. The tiny, free book lending kiosks sometimes officially branded “Little Free Libraries” are everywhere in my county, have become a non-profit initiative, and are driving Etsy sales of cute wooden contraptions. Moreover, my region is dotted with unstaffed farm stands that operate on the honor system, trusting neighbors to pay for what they take. I’d say our household purchases about half of our produce from them.

Within recent recall, the milkman and the grocery delivery boy seemed as distant as the phonograph. Now, consumers are showing interest in having whole meal kits, entire wardrobes, and just about everything delivered. The point being: don’t discount anything that renders convenience; not the traveling salesman, not the automat.

The decision to experiment with a kiosk isn’t a simple one. There will be financial aspects, like how to access a unit that works for the inventory being sold. There will be security questions, as most businesses probably won’t feel comfortable operating on the honor system.

But if the question is whether there is an appetite for the right kiosk, selling the right goods, in the right place, I’ll close today with a look at these provocative, illuminating reviews from just one location of Farmer’s Fridge:

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[nutrifami]

Have Your Agency’s Clients Considered a Local Product Kiosk? Google Has.

Posted by MiriamEllis

File this under fresh ideas for stagnant clients.

It’s 10:45 at night and I’m out of:

Tortillas

Avocados

Salsa

Maybe I just got off of work, like millions of other non-nine-to-fivers. Maybe I was running around with my family all day and didn’t get my errands done. Maybe I was feeling too sick to appear in a public grocery store wrapped in the ratty throw from my sofa.

And now, most of the local shops are closed for the night and I’m sitting here, taco-less and sad.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if I could search Google and find a kiosk just a couple of blocks away that would vend me solutions, no matter what time of night or day?

Something old is becoming new again, just like home delivery. And for your agency’s local business clients, the opportunity could become an amazing competitive advantage.

What’s up with kiosks?

Something old

The automat was invented in Germany in the late 19th century and took off in the US in the decades following, with industry leader Horn & Hardart’s last New York location only closing in 1991. These famous kiosks fed thousands of Americans on a daily basis with on-demand servings of macaroni, fish cakes, baked beans, and chicory coffee. The demise of the automat is largely blamed on the rise of the fast food industry, with Burger Kings even opening doors at former automat locations.

Something new

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an episode of my favorite local SEO news roundup in which Ignitor Digital’s Carrie Hill mentioned a meat vending kiosk. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about this. What I learned sparked my imagination on behalf of local businesses which are always benefitted by at least considering fresh ideas, even if those ideas are actually just taking a page from history and editing it a bit.

Something inspirational

What I learned from my research is that the Applestone Meat Company is distinguishing itself from the competition by offering a 24/7 butcher shop via two vending installations in the state of New York. They also have a drive-up service window from 11am–6pm, but for the countless potential customers who are at work or elsewhere during so-called “normal business hours,” the meat kiosks are ever-ready to serve.

CEO Joshua Applestone says he was inspired by the memory of Horn & Hardart and he must be one smart local business owner to have taken this bold plunge. The company has already earned some pretty awesome unstructured citations from the likes of Bloomberg with this product marketing strategy and they’re planning to open ten more kiosks in the near future.

But Applestone isn’t alone. A kiosk can technically just be a fancy vending machine. Check out Chicago startup Farmer’s Fridge. They recently closed a $30 million Series C round led by one-time Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s Innovation Endeavors. Their 200+ midwestern units provide granola, Greek yogurt, pasta, wraps, beverages, and similar on-the-go fare, and they donate leftovers to local food pantries.

Americans have long been accustomed to ATM machines. DVD and game rental stations are old news to us. We are nowhere near Japan, with its sixty-billion-dollar-a-year, national vending machine density of one machine per 23 citizens, and its automated sales of everything from ramen to socks to umbrellas. Geography and economics don’t point to the need to go to such a level in the US, but where convenience is truly absent, opportunity may reside. What might that look like?

Use your imagination

My corner of the world is famous for its sourdough bread. There are hundreds of regional bakeries competing with one another for the crustiest, lightest, most indulgent loaf. But, if you don’t make it to the local stores by early afternoon, your favorite brand is likely to have sold out. And if you’re working the 47-hour American work week, or gigging California night and day but don’t want to live on fast food, you’d likely be quite grateful to have your access to artisan baguettes restored.

Just imagine every bread bakery around the SF Bay Area installing a kiosk outside its front door, and you can hear the satisfied after-hours crunching, can’t you?

Applestone is selling unprepared meat, Farmer’s Fridge is selling prepared meals, and almost anything people nosh could be a candidate for a kiosk, but why should on-demand products be limited to food? I let my imagination meander and jotted down a quick list of things people might buy at various off-hours, if a machine existed outside the storefront:

Books/magazines

Weather-appropriate basic apparel (sweatshirts, socks, t-shirts)

First aid supplies

Baby care supplies

Emergency electronics (chargers, batteries, flashlights)

Basic auto repair supplies (headlight bulbs, wipers, puncture kits)

Personal care products (bathroom tissue, toiletries)

Office supplies (printer ink, paper, envelopes, stamps)

Household goods (lightbulbs, laundry soap, pantry basics)

Pet supplies

Travel/camping/athletic supplies

Basic craft supplies, small games, gifts, etc.

What if customers who do their morning bike ride at 5 AM knew they could stop by your client’s kiosk to fix a punctured tire? What if night workers knew they could pick up a box of light bulbs or bandages or cat food on their way to their shift? Think of the convenience — in some instances even life-saving help — that could be provided to travelers on the road at all hours, members of your community who are housing-insecure, or whole neighborhoods that lack access to basic goods?

Not every local business has the right model for a kiosk, but once I started to think about it, I realized just how many of them could. I’m initially envisioning these machines being installed at the place of business, but, where the scenario is right, a company with the right type of inventory could certainly place additional kiosks in strategic locations around the communities they wish to serve.

Kiosk Local SEO

Clearly, kiosks can generate revenue, but what could they do for clients’ online presence? The guidelines for representing your business on Google already support the creation of local business listings for ATMs, video rental stations, and express mail dropboxes. But I went straight to Google with the Applewood example to ask if this emerging type of kiosk would be permitted to create listings. They were kind enough to reply:

The link in the Twitter DM reply just pointed to the general guidelines, and I can find no reference to the term “Food Kiosk listing” in them. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this terminology. But, clearly this representative is naming food kiosks as a “thing.” Google, it seems, is already quite aware of this business model. And the proof of their support is in the Maps pudding:

My, my! Talk about having the ability to hyperlocalize your local search marketing to fit Google’s extreme emphasis on user-to-business proximity. Enough to make any local SEO agency see conversions and dollar signs for clients.

Tip #1: Helpline phone numbers

I’ve written about ATM SEO in the past for financial publications, and so I’ll add one important tip for creating eligible Google listings for kiosks: guidelines require that you have a helpline phone number for kiosk users. I would post this number both on the listings and on the units, themselves. Note that this will likely mean you have a shared phone number on multiple listings, which isn’t typically deemed ideal for local search marketing, but if kiosks become your model and you avoid any semblance of creating fake listings, Google can likely handle it.

Tip #2: Unique local landing pages for your kiosks

I can also see value in creating unique location landing pages on client websites for their kiosks, especially if they aren’t stationed at your physical location. These pages could give excellent driving and walking directions for each unit, explain how to use the machine, feature reviews and testimonials for that location, and perhaps highlight new inventory.

Tip #3: Capitalize on your social media

Social media will also be an excellent vehicle for letting particular neighborhoods know about client kiosks and engaging with communities to understand their sentiments. Seek abundant feedback about what is and isn’t working for customers and how inventory could better serve their needs. And, of course, be sure every client is monitoring reviews like a low-flying hawk.

Is there an appetite for kiosks?

Image credit: Ben Chun

I’m a longtime observer of rural local SEO. I’ve learned that being intentional in noticing small things can lead to big ideas, and almost any novel concept is worth floating to clients. The tiny, free book lending kiosks sometimes officially branded “Little Free Libraries” are everywhere in my county, have become a non-profit initiative, and are driving Etsy sales of cute wooden contraptions. Moreover, my region is dotted with unstaffed farm stands that operate on the honor system, trusting neighbors to pay for what they take. I’d say our household purchases about half of our produce from them.

Within recent recall, the milkman and the grocery delivery boy seemed as distant as the phonograph. Now, consumers are showing interest in having whole meal kits, entire wardrobes, and just about everything delivered. The point being: don’t discount anything that renders convenience; not the traveling salesman, not the automat.

The decision to experiment with a kiosk isn’t a simple one. There will be financial aspects, like how to access a unit that works for the inventory being sold. There will be security questions, as most businesses probably won’t feel comfortable operating on the honor system.

But if the question is whether there is an appetite for the right kiosk, selling the right goods, in the right place, I’ll close today with a look at these provocative, illuminating reviews from just one location of Farmer’s Fridge:

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!

[lakelandseo]

Have Your Agency’s Clients Considered a Local Product Kiosk? Google Has.

Posted by MiriamEllis

File this under fresh ideas for stagnant clients.

It’s 10:45 at night and I’m out of:

Tortillas

Avocados

Salsa

Maybe I just got off of work, like millions of other non-nine-to-fivers. Maybe I was running around with my family all day and didn’t get my errands done. Maybe I was feeling too sick to appear in a public grocery store wrapped in the ratty throw from my sofa.

And now, most of the local shops are closed for the night and I’m sitting here, taco-less and sad.

But what if it didn’t have to be that way? What if I could search Google and find a kiosk just a couple of blocks away that would vend me solutions, no matter what time of night or day?

Something old is becoming new again, just like home delivery. And for your agency’s local business clients, the opportunity could become an amazing competitive advantage.

What’s up with kiosks?

Something old

The automat was invented in Germany in the late 19th century and took off in the US in the decades following, with industry leader Horn & Hardart’s last New York location only closing in 1991. These famous kiosks fed thousands of Americans on a daily basis with on-demand servings of macaroni, fish cakes, baked beans, and chicory coffee. The demise of the automat is largely blamed on the rise of the fast food industry, with Burger Kings even opening doors at former automat locations.

Something new

A couple of weeks ago, I was watching an episode of my favorite local SEO news roundup in which Ignitor Digital’s Carrie Hill mentioned a meat vending kiosk. I was immediately intrigued and wanted to know more about this. What I learned sparked my imagination on behalf of local businesses which are always benefitted by at least considering fresh ideas, even if those ideas are actually just taking a page from history and editing it a bit.

Something inspirational

What I learned from my research is that the Applestone Meat Company is distinguishing itself from the competition by offering a 24/7 butcher shop via two vending installations in the state of New York. They also have a drive-up service window from 11am–6pm, but for the countless potential customers who are at work or elsewhere during so-called “normal business hours,” the meat kiosks are ever-ready to serve.

CEO Joshua Applestone says he was inspired by the memory of Horn & Hardart and he must be one smart local business owner to have taken this bold plunge. The company has already earned some pretty awesome unstructured citations from the likes of Bloomberg with this product marketing strategy and they’re planning to open ten more kiosks in the near future.

But Applestone isn’t alone. A kiosk can technically just be a fancy vending machine. Check out Chicago startup Farmer’s Fridge. They recently closed a $30 million Series C round led by one-time Google CEO Eric Schmidt’s Innovation Endeavors. Their 200+ midwestern units provide granola, Greek yogurt, pasta, wraps, beverages, and similar on-the-go fare, and they donate leftovers to local food pantries.

Americans have long been accustomed to ATM machines. DVD and game rental stations are old news to us. We are nowhere near Japan, with its sixty-billion-dollar-a-year, national vending machine density of one machine per 23 citizens, and its automated sales of everything from ramen to socks to umbrellas. Geography and economics don’t point to the need to go to such a level in the US, but where convenience is truly absent, opportunity may reside. What might that look like?

Use your imagination

My corner of the world is famous for its sourdough bread. There are hundreds of regional bakeries competing with one another for the crustiest, lightest, most indulgent loaf. But, if you don’t make it to the local stores by early afternoon, your favorite brand is likely to have sold out. And if you’re working the 47-hour American work week, or gigging California night and day but don’t want to live on fast food, you’d likely be quite grateful to have your access to artisan baguettes restored.

Just imagine every bread bakery around the SF Bay Area installing a kiosk outside its front door, and you can hear the satisfied after-hours crunching, can’t you?

Applestone is selling unprepared meat, Farmer’s Fridge is selling prepared meals, and almost anything people nosh could be a candidate for a kiosk, but why should on-demand products be limited to food? I let my imagination meander and jotted down a quick list of things people might buy at various off-hours, if a machine existed outside the storefront:

Books/magazines

Weather-appropriate basic apparel (sweatshirts, socks, t-shirts)

First aid supplies

Baby care supplies

Emergency electronics (chargers, batteries, flashlights)

Basic auto repair supplies (headlight bulbs, wipers, puncture kits)

Personal care products (bathroom tissue, toiletries)

Office supplies (printer ink, paper, envelopes, stamps)

Household goods (lightbulbs, laundry soap, pantry basics)

Pet supplies

Travel/camping/athletic supplies

Basic craft supplies, small games, gifts, etc.

What if customers who do their morning bike ride at 5 AM knew they could stop by your client’s kiosk to fix a punctured tire? What if night workers knew they could pick up a box of light bulbs or bandages or cat food on their way to their shift? Think of the convenience — in some instances even life-saving help — that could be provided to travelers on the road at all hours, members of your community who are housing-insecure, or whole neighborhoods that lack access to basic goods?

Not every local business has the right model for a kiosk, but once I started to think about it, I realized just how many of them could. I’m initially envisioning these machines being installed at the place of business, but, where the scenario is right, a company with the right type of inventory could certainly place additional kiosks in strategic locations around the communities they wish to serve.

Kiosk Local SEO

Clearly, kiosks can generate revenue, but what could they do for clients’ online presence? The guidelines for representing your business on Google already support the creation of local business listings for ATMs, video rental stations, and express mail dropboxes. But I went straight to Google with the Applewood example to ask if this emerging type of kiosk would be permitted to create listings. They were kind enough to reply:

The link in the Twitter DM reply just pointed to the general guidelines, and I can find no reference to the term “Food Kiosk listing” in them. It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this terminology. But, clearly this representative is naming food kiosks as a “thing.” Google, it seems, is already quite aware of this business model. And the proof of their support is in the Maps pudding:

My, my! Talk about having the ability to hyperlocalize your local search marketing to fit Google’s extreme emphasis on user-to-business proximity. Enough to make any local SEO agency see conversions and dollar signs for clients.

Tip #1: Helpline phone numbers

I’ve written about ATM SEO in the past for financial publications, and so I’ll add one important tip for creating eligible Google listings for kiosks: guidelines require that you have a helpline phone number for kiosk users. I would post this number both on the listings and on the units, themselves. Note that this will likely mean you have a shared phone number on multiple listings, which isn’t typically deemed ideal for local search marketing, but if kiosks become your model and you avoid any semblance of creating fake listings, Google can likely handle it.

Tip #2: Unique local landing pages for your kiosks

I can also see value in creating unique location landing pages on client websites for their kiosks, especially if they aren’t stationed at your physical location. These pages could give excellent driving and walking directions for each unit, explain how to use the machine, feature reviews and testimonials for that location, and perhaps highlight new inventory.

Tip #3: Capitalize on your social media

Social media will also be an excellent vehicle for letting particular neighborhoods know about client kiosks and engaging with communities to understand their sentiments. Seek abundant feedback about what is and isn’t working for customers and how inventory could better serve their needs. And, of course, be sure every client is monitoring reviews like a low-flying hawk.

Is there an appetite for kiosks?

Image credit: Ben Chun

I’m a longtime observer of rural local SEO. I’ve learned that being intentional in noticing small things can lead to big ideas, and almost any novel concept is worth floating to clients. The tiny, free book lending kiosks sometimes officially branded “Little Free Libraries” are everywhere in my county, have become a non-profit initiative, and are driving Etsy sales of cute wooden contraptions. Moreover, my region is dotted with unstaffed farm stands that operate on the honor system, trusting neighbors to pay for what they take. I’d say our household purchases about half of our produce from them.

Within recent recall, the milkman and the grocery delivery boy seemed as distant as the phonograph. Now, consumers are showing interest in having whole meal kits, entire wardrobes, and just about everything delivered. The point being: don’t discount anything that renders convenience; not the traveling salesman, not the automat.

The decision to experiment with a kiosk isn’t a simple one. There will be financial aspects, like how to access a unit that works for the inventory being sold. There will be security questions, as most businesses probably won’t feel comfortable operating on the honor system.

But if the question is whether there is an appetite for the right kiosk, selling the right goods, in the right place, I’ll close today with a look at these provocative, illuminating reviews from just one location of Farmer’s Fridge:

Sign up for The Moz Top 10, a semimonthly mailer updating you on the top ten hottest pieces of SEO news, tips, and rad links uncovered by the Moz team. Think of it as your exclusive digest of stuff you don't have time to hunt down but want to read!