#I am certified TRASH FOR THIS SHOW

[exeggcute]

well it's been almost six months which I think is long enough to break my posting embargo, so, uh: guess what! I got liposuction lol. specifically hip/thigh lipo to quell some pretty wicked dysphoria that stemmed from having such a feminine silhouette… and I have to say I'm really, really pleased with the results.

tbh my initial plan was to keep things under wraps for good which is why I haven't said anything about it yet (and even as I'm typing this up I keep debating whether to post it or trash it)—partly because I was/am worried people might Act Weird about it and partly because I get a little embarrassed talking about bodygendershit in general. but here we are. one reason I do feel compelled to finally share, other than being super happy about how everything went, is that I haven't encountered a lot of discussions about body sculpting as a possible avenue of gender-affirming care (although, to be fair, maybe I just haven't been looking in the right places) and I figured at least one person out there would be interested to learn about what I did and where I've ended up so far.

anyway. pics/details under the cut—nothing even remotely risqué (or yucky), I just know that body image stuff is fraught + not everyone is eager to hear surgery talk.

to be precise: I got tumescent liposuction of the inner and outer thigh, plus this ultrasound thing to help the skin shrink. a different surgeon who I consulted (but ultimately did not go with for a number of reasons) said that even if I got the results I wanted from lipo, which he claimed was unlikely, the affected skin would look loose/baggy/weird forever... and that surgeon was wrong on both counts lol. my elasticity was great bitch!!!!

they didn't take out that much fat overall, only eight pounds or so, but it's way more about the Where than the How Much. my actual surgeon (who kicks ass btw) said lipo isn't that great for weight loss per se, and what it's really good for is sculpting targeted areas—so basically exactly what I did. six months post-op I actually weigh about the same as what I did pre-op, but the distribution has held steady; more weight goes to my stomach now and less, proportionally, goes to my hips since there are fewer fat cells in that area now. so my silhouette retains its new shape!

the overall change is admittedly on the subtle side, since I'm pretty short and have wide hip bones (and you can't change your literal skeleton) but it's still gone a looooooong way. the main thing I requested from my surgeon was "I want to fit in men's pants" and boy did he deliver.

also a good place to note that if you're in the las vegas area looking for a plastic and/or cosmetic surgeon—this guy is board-certified in both btw—then I absolutely have the guy for you. feel free to DM me for details. lipo is clearly his specialty (and it shows!) but he also does a lot of breast revisions/mastopexy (i.e., fixing implants that other surgeons did a bad job putting in), regular implants, and face work (particularly facial feminization surgery). one thing that sold me on this guy was an enthusiastic yelp review from a local stripper who said he hid the incisions for her breast lift in her armpits so none of her clients would notice that she'd had work done... a true master of his craft

okay you've scrolled enough so I'll give you what you're here for lol. I don't have many pre-op pics because I was obviously unhappy with how I looked and was not taking full-body selfies on a regular basis, but here's a few I took ~2 weeks beforehand:

these super thin men's joggers were my go-to dysphoria pants, to the point where I bought five pairs in different colors, but now they're so baggy on me that they have the opposite effect and make it look like I have wider hips than I do. so I retired them from my wardrobe...

...except not immediately because I had to wear compression garments 24/7 for the first three months post-op and these joggers were just loose enough to comfortably wear a medical girdle underneath them at all times, 110° degree temperatures be damned. (not that I was going out much for the first month since I was soooooooooooo fucking bruised and sore lol.) here's a few post-op pics in the same style pants:

(first pic is less than 24 hours post-op, about to go to my follow-up appointment, looking greasy as fuck because I wasn't allowed to shower yet; second pic two days post-op and also post-shower, thankfully; third pic is about a month post-op.)

so, like, CLEAR improvement already. I will not be posting pictures of my black-and-blue-and-swollen-all-over legs but considering how puffy I was from getting internally pummeled with a cannula it's wild that I still saw improvement literally as soon as I came home.

recovery was obviously not a blast in the moment but I got off easy, all things considered. I was supposed to get drains put in and was Not looking forward to that at all lol. the first thing I asked when I woke up after surgery was "how many drains?" because they weren't sure if I'd end up needing two or four, but it turned out the answer was zero. no drains!!!

I did have to lie with my feet elevated for the first two weeks straight, and had major bruising that receded over the first month (you could barely see my regular skin underneath all the mottled spots), but little to no nerve pain, no weird complications, and I was more or less back to normal after six weeks. also noelle took very very good care of me and was brave about injecting me with blood thinners so I wouldn't get clots and die :)

when I went into it I was fully expecting to get huge vertical scars up and down the sides of my legs (and had made peace with it!) but instead I wound up with four tiny incisions like this, each less than two inches long:

what's totally crazy is that the scars are basically Gone now. like even when I'm trying to find them I struggle to locate the ones in the front. I joked to noelle that if someone did an autopsy on me they might not figure out that I'd had cosmetic surgery, especially since the skin on my thighs is back to its normal color and texture. (in this scenario I like to imagine that it's dana scully giving me the autopsy and I'm in an x-files plot where instead of regular lipo I got alien lipo and mulder figures it out purely by accident.)

with lipo it can take up to a year to see the full results but I already feel so much fucking better in my body that seeing old pre-op pics throws me for a loop. and I can absolutely wear men's pants now—pants for short and stocky men, to be fair, but actual regular men's pants and not exclusively Pants For Men With Huge Butts And Legs. which is the only style I could even hope to fit in before. and even then it was a stretch.

big pic dump of shitty mirror selfies taken over the last few months:

:)

(also I really debated sharing this one but I already included it in the yelp review I left my surgeon so fuck it: here's a tasteful before-and-after in my undies where you can see my bare legs for easier comparison. left pic is one week pre-op, right pic is about five months post-op. including it as a link instead of embedding it in the post in case your boss happens to be reading over your shoulder at this very moment. also this is the one and only time you will ever see me stripped down on tumblr dot com so don't get used to it lol.)

[alexandraisyes]

Meet The Artist

Names I'll respond to: Alex - Alexandra/Alexander - Xandre - Trash Goblin - Peepaw Afton

Age as of right now: 19

Nationality: North American (Pacific Timezone)

Socials: - Here (Duh) - Twitter (SFW) - Ao3 (SFW) - Discord Server - FNAF (13+) - YouTube (Cringes and Dies) - TikTok (College prevents me from posting often) - Kofi (Shop, Commission, Gallery, etc) - Pinterest (Just another Gallery tbh)

Commissions: Open! Art Trades: Currently Closed Fandoms: - Undertale/UTMV - Five Nights at Freddy's - The Security Breach Show - Assorted smaller hyper fixations

Assorted Information: - Aromantic and Asexual - Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD/Sociopathic Disorder) - ADHD (Unmedicated) - PTSD and General Anxiety Disorder - Psychology Major || Art Minor - Emergency Medical Technician || Certified Nursing Assistant - I get asked my height a lot; I'm 5'7"/172 cm - She/They/He pronouns all work for me

Extra Silly Stuff: - I love my online village - Asks are always open, I love interacting with people - I'm just a silly guy with a bunch of mental health issues - I write and draw the silliest things sometimes - Goblin mode, feral goober, gremlin energy, art eater - I am horrible at expressing tone. If there's not a tone indicator, then there is no tone to be read

Bloody Solstice AU A silly little story that focuses on the DCA and Afton Family. I'll write more under here later.

Twisted Celestials AU Another silly little story that is my what-if spin on the Sun and Moon Show. It will have some silly little ships, and you don't have to agree with my silly little ships. I will also return to this to write about it better.

MASTERPOST

[megamindsecretlair]

🎃 🦇 trick or treat! 🧛‍♂️🦇

You've completely rotted my brain with vampirism and I'm having another vampire phase now because of you bestie...

So.... what are your favourite vampires and or vampire books, films, shows etc.?!

Any spooky inspirations for your amazing Tyrone vampire au?

I LOVE YOU! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Whew, this is a semi long one! Happy Halloween, im sorry I'm late, but I had to think! My recall is ass 💀🤣

Oof, im all over the place. But I'll have to credit Sherrilyn Kenyon on getting me into the sexual side of vamps. The Dark Hunter series remains one of my faves, I've read almost up to ...book 32? Book 33? I lost count. But the author started going through issues with her ex who was coming after her books so she started publishing the same story from different perspectives and i zoned out. Might be time to zone back in 🤔

Of course, have to credit the GOATS - Vampire in Brooklyn and Queen of the Damned. Im now obsessed with the idea of smashing the two together and fuck it, might be my second vamp novel. I'll see what shakes loose 💁🏽‍♀️

First off, Black vamps? Yassss. Black vamps in a position of power that was not "earned" after centures of racism or struggle or Black trauma porn? Double yasss 🙌🏽😩 (I haven't read the Anne Rice books so I could be wrong about my queen but ehh, no one pays me to be right 🤣)

Vamp Tyrone takes some inspo from this. The way the teeth are, the complete devotion to one person and one person only 🤌🏽 the whiff of toxicity 🤣 idk, something about the push and pull between Max and Rita still fn eats 😩🙌🏽 corruption kink for the win 🙌🏽😩 also Dracula fits here too, with Gary Oldman but Ill also take the Luke Evans version 🥵

Can we collectively say fuck Julie Plec? All that aside, this was my shoooowww. This and Originals. The Mikkaelson family 🥵🥵🥵 while I don't bring up the concept of doppelgangers in Vamp Tyrone, I am obsessed with twins, doubles, clones, etc. And obvs that fit with Tyrone.

And lastly, ik ik. Listen, everyone needs trash in their faves and I was, am, and still will be obsessed with this trash ass series. I mean, we can collectively say fuck Stephanie Meyers weird ass, but I love this series and I don't have to defend it 😌

Again, obsessed with the thought of a vamp waiting for their forever partner, the inherent romanticism of vampirism, and the flirt with disaster and death and melancholy that always speaks to me. You can probably guess that Edgar Allen Poe is a fave of mines too 🤣 certified emo over here 😌😌

Theres a lot of things that went into my version of vamps. They can't go out into sunlight, they need blood to survive, they can tolerate normal food but it does nothing for them, they have some decorum now because of technology but Black vamps are on top.

I really dislike going to hunt for a vampire story only to find that white people are vamps and Black people are vampire hunters. Who decided that? Why is it always like that? Why can't I live my best Black vamp life 😩😩😩

And special shoutout to Vampire Academy as well. Is it cheesy? Sure. Am I obsessed? Yes. I'm behind finishing the series chuz the author pissed me tf off in book 3 🤣🤣🤣 she's on a timeout.

Thanks for asking beautiful 😍

[evafhernee]

I present; 99 Castoff Incorrect Quotes. Don’t ask why

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3 (this one))

(67)

Rori: I'm quick at math.

Arianna: Ok, what's 38 times 76?

Rori: 24

Arianna: That wasn't even close.

Rori: But it was quick.

(68)

Vector: Am I in trouble?

Arianna: Take a guess.

Vector: No?

Arianna: Take another guess.

(69)

Frankie: Wow, it sure smells like wrong dog in here!

Vector: Oh buddy…

Frankie, already sobbing: ASK.

(70)

Rori: You can take away my rights, but can you take away my lefts?

(71)

Vector: What scares you guys the most?

Frankie: Werewolves!

Marina: Sharks.

Sage: The unstoppable marching of time that is slowly guiding us all towards an inevitable death.

Sage:

Sage: Arianna.

(72)

Arianna: We have to plan, we have to figure something out.

Frankie: Arianna, when have any of our plans ever actually worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose.

(73)

Frankie: Oh, hey, I didn't see you come in! You should have come by and said hello!

Arianna: Oh! Yeah, I uh...

Arianna: Didn't want to bother you.

Arianna: Or talk to or listen to or be around you.

(74)

Frankie: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Arianna way.

Vector: Isn't that the wrong way?

Frankie: Yes, but it's faster.

(75)

Arianna: We wouldn't last two minutes without Frankie.

Arianna:

Arianna: Don't tell them I said that.

(76)

Arianna: Why do you hang out with me?

Vector: You're the best thing that's ever happened to me!

Arianna: ...

Arianna: I feel a bit sorry for you.

(77)

Frankie: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!

Rori: Please, just say fuck.

(78)

Vector, texting Marina: sends a voice message

Marina, texting back: I'm a little busy, is it urgent?

Vector: No, don't worry, just listen later. later

Marina: presses play

Vector's voice message: THERE'S A FIRE-

(79)

Marina: You need to stop swearing so much.

Arianna: Shut the fuck up.

Marina: Yeah, that's not how you do it.

Arianna: Alright sorry. It's just that it's hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it.

Marina: Now now, don't be like that. Just replace the swear words with 'beep' and you'll be fine.

Arianna: Shit the beep up.

Marina:

Arianna: SHUT, DAMMIT! I MEANT SHUT!

(80)

Frankie: I have a bad feeling about this, guys.

Arianna: Oh don't worry, you'll be fine.

Vector: Yeah, what's the worst that could happen?

Frankie, being bailed out of jail the next morning: I hate you all.

(81)

Arianna: fast-forwards all the way through the movie

Frankie: You can't just skip to the happy ending!

Arianna: I don't have time for their problems.

(82)

Marina: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Arianna?

Arianna: No.

Frankie: I do!

Marina: I know, Frankie.

Frankie: I'm sad.

Marina: I know, Frankie.

(83)

Arianna: When do I get my own gun?

TheStarfishface: I wouldn't trust you with my kid's lightsaber.

(84)

Arianna: Well, well, well, if it isn't the consequences of my actions.

(85)

Arianna: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture.

The Squad: Awwww-

Arianna: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything."

The Squad: Oh.

(86)

Rori: Ha! What are you gonna do? Stab mе?

Five minutes later

Rori, calling 911: HELP, IVE BEEN STABBED.

(87)

Rori: I'd roast you, but my mom says you can't burn trash.

Rori: slow-mo walks out of the room

(88)

Frankie: Hey.

Arianna: pissed off You... complete ... ASS, Frankie! You show up here after WEEKS, and you say "hey"?!

(89)

Sage: The dinosaurs didn't rule the earth they were just alive. Stop giving them credit for administration skills they didn't have.

(90)

Rori: Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd.

Vector: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can't just say blue because there's more than one blue.

Rori: Blue and light blue, nice try nerd.

(91)

Rori: I will beat all of you in Rock, Paper, Scissors. You go first.

Vector: Rock.

Rori: Paper.

(92)

Frankie: Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food?

Marina: ...What???

(93)

Marina: I hate to disagree with you, but-

Rori: Please, you love to disagree with me. Its your favorite thing to do.

(94)

Arianna: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

(95)

Vector: What does "take out" mean?

Frankie: Food.

Marina: Dating.

Arianna: Murder.

Rori: It can be all three if you're brave enough.

(96)

Vector: I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress that I'm under.

(97)

Rori: on the phone Hey Marina, do you know my blood type?

Marina: Of course, it's B-.

Rori: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!

(98)

Frankie: Vector, I'm afraid.

Vector: Just stay close to Arianna.

Frankie: That's why I'm afraid.

(99)

Marina: What did you two do?

Rori:

Arianna:

Marina: You're not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

[aspiring-sea-hag]

“And once you truly understand that she really does love you, you’ll see all the ways she’s expressed that love over the years.”

continuation from the reblog I did a couple of posts ago, I wanted to share all the little acts of love that Ægir showed to me before I finally comprehended that she did, in fact, love and care about me.

I have struggled with feeling like I belong for as long as I can remember, but I always remember my parents taking me to San Diego on vacation, and how I’d run through the hot sand to get to the water because there, I always felt like I belonged.

Whenever I went beachcombing as a kid (and still to this day) I always find one or two of my favorite type of shell, even if it’s super rare in the area.

Sometimes I like to pick up hermit crabs and hold them in my hand (not out of the water ofc) and they always come out of their shells right away.

I saw a spotted eagle ray on my first ever Ocean dive right after I got certified. Rolling into that water felt like a warm hug.

I go through air incredibly slow. My buddies joke that I must have superpowers kind of slow.

Octopuses have taken my hand when I’ve offered it to them, on a couple occasions.

I don’t notice it myself, but my buddies have also told me that I am a surprisingly comfortable drift diver.

The final realization hit me when I was picking up tiny plastic bits on my local beach (at the time) several months ago. There was so much; there was more plastic than I’d ever seen on a beach. I felt overwhelmed and enraged. I broke down in tears at the waters edge because I felt like I wasn’t enough. Even though the tide was going out, a big wave came up, enough to wrap around my body (I was kneeling) and cool me down. I had the sense that Ægir wanted to make sure I knew something. Put in simpler terms, that something was “When you do everything you can, that will always be enough. That will always be seen. I see you, and I love you so, so much.”

I can’t help but wonder if she tried to guide that trash to that particular beach so that I could collect it.

I share all these little blessings because I want to highlight how common they are, and how mundane they can seem at first. It’s hard to see them as blessings sometimes, but I truly feel that they are little acts of love. So if you’re reading this, remember that you are loved, you are seen, and you matter.

[anonymous-chicken-was-taken]

Hey there 

Never done this before so don’t know if I’m doing it right, so sorry in advance 

I was wandering if you are still planning on updating Decipher? 

Sorry, I really don’t wanna be pressurising or anything, I just really love that fic

I watched the show for the first time this year, mid summer and I love it so much. Absolute favourite thing, up there with Ace Attorney and Persona 4. So I needed more content and decided to go find fanfiction. In this time I have saved around 

250-ish fics. And Decipher is easily in my top 3 favourites, and the one I choose as my number 1 the most often. So I think the point I’m trying to get to here is that even if you never update it again I want to say thank you so much for writing what you have, I absolutely love it. I wanna be more indepth with what I love about it but just like with the actual show my thought processes just devolve into ‘I LOVE IT AHHHHHHH’ over and over again. And of course both Volition and Deaf Ears are also certified bangers. 

Really sorry, I’ve gone on way to long and like 90% of that wasn’t even a question. In my Defense I only had like 5 hours sleep last night. Sorry. I shall now leave 

Absolutely no need to apologize thank you so much?? I'm so honored to hear that you like it so much and that my silly goofy angsty au is in someone's top favorite Gravity Falls fics?? What do I even say this is so kind of you ;v;

That being said, yes I am absolutely still planning to update! My update schedule is just trash also I've been pretty busy lately. I'm actually working on it right now!! Here's a couple paragraphs I just wrote ^^

As you can see, everything is going great for everyone involved!

[maura-alwyne-blog]

It is just after 08:00 on Saturday as I begin this post and I already have burnt most of my day's pile of brush. That's good because it was already 75F/24C when I came out before sunrise and looking at 91F/33C today plus high humidity.

I learned last weekend while mowing that my mower has a transmission failing–yes it has two one on each drive wheel and they are hermetically sealed so disposable 🤬; it shows the most if I am trying to mow the ditch, not as much on the flat yard.

I am looking into a compact tractor that has a small loader bucket as I need one to finish cleaning up the yard, putting in a new driveway, clearing out some of the old guest house to a rolloff dumpster, dig up stumps, and eventually to dig a pond/swimming hole. Now I could rent a loader each time but that is $1,000 a week each time between rent, delivery, and pick-up so $4k to $5k depending on how long it takes to put the driveway in correctly. A new zero turn that is commercial grade starts at $8k so I may as well buy what I need and always have it. Bonus is it pretty much identical to one I used at my former job–the joys of manager/supervisor you fill in when someone else is out.

The one I am getting comes with a mower deck too and I already have several accessories that it can use like a ground roller, spreader, dump wagon. Our local chain (Rural King) shows financing available, but I decided to discuss it with my credit union ahead of time to hopefully get a better rate. They said they can finance the tractor, probably 10% interest not sure of the term though. Easiest way would be a personal loan, but all the big personal loans while I was married were in Once Wife’s name.

Like most women post divorce I really have no credit history to speak of, and it is somewhat haunting me. Ironically I have a great credit score, but no proof of being able to pay off a loan that size independently. I don’t like the term “the patriarchy” but I can see where our society has some major issues. I ran into issues returning to the workforce after taking four years off to care for Buttercup. It was a nightmare of paperwork to take Once Wife’s name off of my car title–her car a dealer forged my signature to trade it in…no joke, they just had someone sign my name to a legally binding document. Yet taking her name off my deed was insanely easy–seriously we need some heavy duty rules put on that one. It was harder to title my truck after buying it from a dead guy than to swap the deed on my house, figure that one out. Getting her name off my water bill was a pain and I still can’t get Waste Management to take her name off my trash bill.

Many people say divorce is too easy. Personally I think it needs to be easy as too many of us are abused in our relationships be it mentally, financially, or physically, and the option out should be easy, but even in a no fault state, with no kids at home, and all assets and debts divided, we still had to both be present before a judge to have the divorce certified. I can’t fathom how that would work in a situation where it is a danger to be in the same room together. In the end the people who say divorce is too easy have never had to deal with the legal mess that comes after. You can’t just present your divorce papers to take your former spouse off titles and deeds, you have to have their signature and notary stamps, and potentially another set of down payments if your collateral has less value than your loan is for. I’m lucky in that I still get along with Once Wife, most are not so lucky.

So later today I will be talking to Rural King about a loader I need but a payment plan I’d rather avoid…Well I come back to this and it is later, interest is lower than the credit union quoted, payments over seven years aren’t too bad either. Will learn more about this Monday and how it will be delivered via a local towing company as it weighs more than my trailer can haul.

Friday evening I stopped by a local bar-b-que place that I have not been to in many years as I was unaware they had a place not far from where I shop. Food was as great as I remembered, but there was another patron across from me with the same notification sound I used for Jobe. I did not dive for my phone, nor did I get totally filled with anxiety as I was having happen at the end of our relationship. It did open some regrets but they were focused on regretting believing her lies…lots, and lots of lies. I’d be lying if I didn’t say there was a level of anxiety hearing the sound, but baby steps toward recovery is what I have to work with.

Got a new thermometer for my smoker. I have a 30 plus year old Brinkman smoker…essentially a very big tin can. I bought an electric element for it years ago so I don’t have to constantly feed it charcoal, but at my last house the electric service was 103 volts not 110 volts so not sure if the element is weak or the thermometer is a mess…both? I know that the voltage issue is a big factor and I do know the factory thermometer was a joke from day one, so pop a new thermometer in, plug in the super heavy duty extension cord and see what happens with it empty–it needs to burn out as it has been years since it was used last. I need to make it a new jacket as the last one got torn up by mice, upside I traced it out so I have a pattern. I kind of miss smoked roast beef etc. If I can get this going it beats the cost of a new one.

The level of depression is starting to lessen, but I do have a fear of how things will go soon as the depression has been at its worst when I come home from work in the dark…and that is not long from now. I have several friends online that have said I can reach out if I need to, which is good as I have no true friends in real life, but I don’t want to burn bridges either. One online friend doesn’t live too far away and we have met before so maybe with some more cleaning around here I can have them by.

I have submitted two articles at Ordinary-Times one has gone up the other is in the to be used pile, and a third is nearly done. I have been rereading Solitary Nonconfinement a manuscript of mine that if I remember correctly is nearly done. Rereads for me are a chance to catch typos, wrong word intent, and “what was I trying to say?” I actually started this one seven years ago, but Once Wife had a habit of interrupting when I would try to write. Beyond that is another novel that actually is done but has sat fallow long enough a reread is needed before I track down an editor. Solitary Nonconfinement may go live once it is done as it is a series of journal entries covering a year’s time so if I leave it as is it would be as written.

In interesting facts news; I learned Sunday morning that when a US submarine is lost it is listed as “On Eternal Patrol.” A sub is on patrol until it returns to port, thus eternal patrol. Every Christmas the Navy sends open coms messages to those ships. There are 52 of them on eternal patrol at this time.

I guess for now that is all.

Maura out

[skomedia]

VIRAL VIDEO GAURANTEED❗❗❗

In celebration of me taking my first dump (as a certified homeless person) in a car wash plastic trash bin at 1:30am. Scroll down to watch the heart-wrenching after "reaction" as I whine like a little bitch about what 588 Garden Grove homeless go through on a nightly basis. I digress... - I am releasing a service to the public that I only do for very, VERY large clients. It basically boosts the shit out of any video you want to brand ie, new product, an influencer profile, a political douchebag, Canada's love for bashing baby seals (DO NOT GOOGLE THAT), an old donkey... Anything... (Don't click the Canada link unless you want to cry in the bathroom for 4 hours while trying to figure out how to tech baby seals kung fu). - Watch the video below to understand the first step. What this does is strategically boost the target video page in Google search engine results rankings for hundreds to thousands of long-tail and local keywords that have no back-link competition. The contextual backlinks my team creates are both organic & safe due to the fact that we only post to LIVE & Niche relevant discussions and pages. Each posting is purposely revisited after 15-25 days and slightly edited to show that we are active in that particular community therefore keeping our profile in good standing. Therefore allow us to continue to use that particular platform for link building. This process is done all by hand/keyboard by me overseas team that spans several continents. My goal is to eventually give these positions to the homeless I encounter in the United States. Again... I digress.   Now here this. These sites we post to are real sites with real actual visitors that will.... actively click the links we post, and to be taken to your video. This drastically increases the views because the social media platform sees video traffic from outside links as a sign your video should be shown to more visitors as they are more likely to engage and stay on the platform. FYI - I will bring you the traffic you want, it is your job to make sure the visitor engages and or buys or whatever your goal is. 2. The Second Step Based on a load of factors that I have put together over the years and AI. Mostly AI... Skynet... I mean the AI will then calculate which sites in my database (if any) will help boost and make the target video viral. How many articles, do I hear you ask? It typically requires 4-20 articles from my list here. 3. The Third Step This is where we circle back around and use the same process from Step 1 and create links to the articles from the last stage of Step 2. What guaranteed do you have in making Sko Media making your video viral? We give no guarantees that the target video will go viral. This is up to the algorightm god of the social media platform. We do offer a 80% money back guarantee! 20% is due upon signing up for this service. The remaining 80% of the service fee is held in escrow at escrow.com and not released to Sko Media until your video has reached the agreed views. Links are published on popular, REAL forums, and Q&A Sites. Current websites with aged, full profiled accounts in our database: 1,034,911 Each site receives an average 300k visitors/mo. Average DA - 58 Average TF - 29 Natural mix of Dofollow and Nofollow links to add to your overall keyword profile. Unique, contextual, and native comments of at least 350+ characters created by our US based team.   THE HOLY🙏 PH🖕CKING $H💩T ↙️↙️↙️ 🟥BRAND🤯 NAME🏃💨💨BOOSTER ���🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 Read the full article

[notthewriteryourelookingfor]

As a socialist trying to become a communist, I feel like anyone who tries to say that health rules/osha/etc is unneeded does not represent the anti-capitalist communities?

I mean I will admit that my writing comprehension is trash cuz I have adhd and idk what's going on with my eyes in general, but the only people I've ever heard trying to shit on/remove safety shit are capitalists trying to cut corners.

Like the safety barriers on machines do add maybe 5 seconds so it's "quicker" if you remove them it doesnt matter to the boss if you lose an arm in there

Like musk removed the yellow safety lines in his factory cuz he "didn't like how they looked" and so no one knows where the safety zones are.

We can have the commune and the certified hospital, the only difference is that healthcare isn't for profit and cannot be for profit.

You are 100% correct that we need safety shit, it should be taught in schools imo.

But I honestly haven't seen any anti-capitalist saying "it's the Man trying to keep us down" but maybe I'm not talking to those people.

But if I do meet them I am going to give them a 3 hour lecture starting from the shirt factory in the US, going over the Titanic (which actually was up to the safety standards of the time showing that we often don't see what we need until disaster), and ending with OceanGate cuz fuck those billionaires but that is a great example on why regulations exist.

I think I can trace my intense hatred for the whole "regulations are just corporate bullshit, building codes are just The Man's way of keeping you down, we should return to pre-industrial barter and trade systems" nonsense back to when I first started doing electrical work at one of the largest hospitals in the country.

I have had to learn so much about all the special conditions in the National Electric Code for healthcare systems. All the systems that keep hospitals running, all the redundancies and backups that make sure one disaster or outage won't take out the hospital's life support, all the rules about different spaces within the hospital and the different standards that apply to each of them. And a lot of it is ridiculously over-engineered and overly redundant, but all of it is in the service of saving even one life from being lost to some wacky series of coincidences that could have been prevented with that redundancy.

I've done significantly less work in food production plants and the like, but I know they have similar standards to make sure the plants aren't going to explode or to make sure a careless maintenance tech isn't accidentally dropping screws into jars of baby food or whatever. And research labs have them to make sure some idiot doesn't leave a wrench inside a transformer and wreck a multi-million dollar machine when they try to switch it on.

Living in the self-sufficient commune is all fun and games until someone needs a kidney transplant and suddenly wants a clean, reliable hospital with doctors that are subject to some kind of overseeing body, is my point.

[swearronchanel]

“Now be bold, glasses or no glasses?” - 2.09 ✨

Every ‘Shrixie’ moment 💖💛💖 ( 2/??)

[snackugaki]

Guess who decided to sit down and rewatch Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation~ ♫

rewatching this again as an adult gave me the hardest whiplash; Top Five Whiplash Moments of My Life

They really just put anything in children’s shows during the 90s

my childhood nostalgia absolutely did not save one thing about this show

Venus is still my daughter, I love her so

ooh, that didn’t age well

yikes, that didn’t age well either

I just want Next’s Splinter to, literally, hang out with any of the other Splinters.

The jolliest old rat man

Leo’s nerdiness was turned up until the knob broke, huh?

latchkey kids

just sleep any ol’ where in these sewers

would explain why Raphael was the crankiest in this iteration

seriously, they even had him say some of the most dickish lines for any Raphael to say???

... plastron g-strings.

being an adult rewatching this just showing me there was some shit they slapped on and got away with it because the kids absolutely would not have noticed

hence the CLOCKWORK ORANGE REFERENCE

like someone put 90s concentrate into a blender and turned it on without the lid

These turtles would be so disappointed to learn about Climate Change

And the number of animals on the extinction list

Casey should’ve been on this show, if only to make Raphael chill the fuck out

Next Mutation really had me reconsidering being a Raph fan as a kid

the “love triangle” or whatever complaint is.... not really that blatant but then I am Certified Old Hag and my standards are high ig idk lol lmao

Mikey and Raph were the only ones whose interactions could understandably be seen as romantic overtures but even then... not that much and it never actually went anywhere

However, I DO read in between the lines that Donatello and Venus were absolutely Best Friends in the face of everyone else’s chaos

...Poor Mikey, he was often off doing his own thing but it seems like what the lonely little brother would be doing

they really were just Roommates™ on this show. :(((((

the villains’ designs were *chef’s kiss* just over the top and that’s what makes it great

guess they had leftover suits from the Dick Tracy movie next lot over

this show was absolute trash (affectionate)

[sunhighriptide]

Let's spill the whole thought process.

Okay, so Gwen shouldn't be in the same cabin as Peter or Miles because some version of her has canonically dated them both. (This is assuming they are actual demigods and not like favored mortals.)

Some significant features of each.

GWEN

Gwen is very intelligent. Spider-verse Gwen shows her investigative skills. In a variant universe, she designed her own tech to mimic spider powers, and was a science major on Earth-616; that's how she met Peter Parker.

She is very stubborn and unafraid to go against others. She is prone to guilt, self-blame, and self-sacrifice.

Her ballet and gymnastics background shows she is a physical person, and even her intrument of choice, drums, are a more physically intensive musical outlet.

Gwen can be a bit of a show off and loves to perform.

Trivia: Her animal form is a penguin, and alt forms of her have been Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, Hawkeye, Hulk, and a version of Batman??

And of course, there is Gwenpool, which says something about her propensity for mischief.

So intelligence, curiosity, mischief, stubborness, physicality, music, and art. Penguins?

MILES

He was looking into a quantum physics career. Even if he was doing it only to meet Gwen, that requires a significant amount of mental acuity. He is a very intelligent guy in many ways.

Artistic. Eager to learn. Loves spray paint and murals.

Distinctly loyal.

He is probably the friendliest of the three, in that he is most open to new relationships.

PETER

Obviously, a very loyal guy. Very Percyish in that.

Certified genius. Designs his own web fluid and web shooters. Tony Stark was impressed by his skill and ingenuity. He runs his own company and his tech was a rival to Oscorp. He specializes in chemistry.

He's also shown great skill for weaving, both webs and to sew up his suits, remember that Peter designs and constructs all his suits himself, and makes do with school supplies or things he finds in the trash. He has no money. Also not the best with people.

I don't know if his version of photography would be considered artistic. But there it is.

Good team leader.

All of them have the capacity for great aggression, but so do most people.

POWERS/ABILITIES:

Super Strength: all three Spiders exhibit strength far beyond even an enchanced person. Regularly being to lift around 10 tons I believe.

Super Agility

Spider-sense

Greatly Enchanced Durability

Sticky Grip on hands and feet; capable of easily holding up themselves and at least one other person.

Super Reflexes

Superhuman sense of balance

MILES ONLY POWERS/ABILITIES:

Electric Shock

Camouflage

So now let's get onto the parents.

The current cabins in Camp Half-blood consist of:

Zeus, Hera, Poseidon, Demeter, Ares, Artemis, Apollo, Athena, Hephaestus, Aphrodite, Hermes, Dionysus, Hades, Iris, Hypnos, Nemesis, Nike, Hebe, Tyche, and Hecate

We shall exclude Hera and Artemis, as they have no mortal children.

Let us start with Gwen.

I want to knock out any that distinctly do not fit.

The only mark against Zeus is I have a hard time seeing Zeus falling for Gwen's dad. She does have that almost flying factor, perhaps even more than the other two. She has blue eyes, like most Zeus kids.

There is nothing watery about Gwen. I have never seen anything about her interacting with horses, and while she is loyal, it is not a major focus of her character.

All three of them are New Yorkers. They have never interacted with agriculture once. Not Demeter.

She can be aggressive, but she is also analytical. I am not feeling Ares.

Apollo is certainly possible. She has blue eyes and blonde hair. I could see her being an archer. Or playing basketball. She loves music. She is very athletic. Having a difficult time picturing Apollo being enraptured by Captain Stacy.

She could totally be Athena. As previously stated, Gwen is extremely intelligent. However, she is not much of a strategist. She can be impulsive and tends to prefer emotionally or physically driven activities.

I actually like Hephaestus more than Athena for her? Especially with universe where she built herself Spider gear. She also seems to see how things fit together in a unique way.

I could see her being a child of Dionysus. Captain Stacy in his wild years. The children of Dionysus were said to be athletic. She also has a very wild nature.

Aphrodite. Gwen is very pretty and attracts a lot of attention, but I just don't see it. She doesn't have much interest in dating and doesn't really exude charm in a way associated with the children of Aphrodite.

EDIT: Yo, I totally forgot Hermes. She could totally be a child of Hermes. Very physically skilled and inclined, skills in many diverse areas.

Not really getting a child of Hades vibe. No death, no darkness, no riches, no old and quiet.

Iris. Kind of the opposite. She doesn't have the optimistic artist profile either.

She is certainly not super chill. She clearly has a reactive nature and a temper. Also very active. So probably not Hypnos.

Could be Nemesis. She is very connected to the idea of justice and is easily seduced by revenge. Makes sense for Captain Stacy also.

Nike. She is competitive, but not to a super high degree? Athletic, yes, but neither ballet or gymnastics are the type of sport where you compete directly against others. She is also willing to give up a goal if she thinks it is harming anyone.

Gwen certainly is youthful, and she portrays that in most every universe, though she can also have moments of great maturity. So Hebe is a possibility.

Tyche. Girl is not lucky. Not a single spider has ever known the touch of fortune. Impossible.

Hecate. Gwen has no significant connections to magic, nor any proclivity or interest towards it. She prefers solving myseteries over exploring them, if that makes sense.

So the deities we are looking at: Zeus, Apollo, Athena, Hephaestus, Dionysus, Nemesis, Hebe.

I feel as though the brains, while being a feature of her character, are not a focus, so I am removing Athena and Hephaestus.

Hebe also does not speak to me. Her choosing maturity is a decent part of Earth-65 Gwen's arc.

Which leaves Zeus, Apollo, Dionysus, and Nemesis. I think Dionysus and Nemesis would make more sense to have gotten with her dad, but any could work. What do you all think?

Right I'm going to reblog this and come back for the other two.

Guys I have a question which cabin do you think miless morales, peter parker and Gwen Stacy would be in?

I think miles would be in cabin 1 zeus cuz of his electric powers

I would like gwen to be a child of Apollo cabin 7

I'm not sure for peter maybe Hebe?? Demeter????

Do you guys agree?

[ppersonna]

swipe right - jjk | m

“ i wanna ruin our friendship. we should be lovers instead. i don't know how to say this, cause you're really my dearest friend “ - jenny, studio killers

♡ summary-  after a horrible breakup, you sign back up for tinder and ironically match with your best friend, jungkook. a date for fun is harmless, right?

♡ genre- best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, jk is a minecraft streamer, brother namjoon, brother-in-law jimin, namjoon is kind of a himbo stay at home dad ngl, ex-boyfriend seokjin (mentioned but doesnt show up)

♡ word count- 9k

♡ warnings- mentions of a bad breakup (smh seokjin wtf??), penetrative sex, unprotected sex (u know the business folx), oral sex (m receiving), teasing, SO MUCH BODY WORSHIP, jk is a simp, slight dirty talk, lots of just talking during sex yall it happens, creampie, cum play, praise praise body worship praise, did i mention body worship, tit-fucking, cum eating, i think thats all.

♡ a/n - helloooo and thank you for your wait for this fic! i’m so happy its done and i loved writing it! it’s a little bit different feel for my usual style of writing (smut-wise) so please tell me your thoughts! i didn’t use dom/sub themes OR a daddy kink LMAOOOO praise me please. i hope you enjoy!! pls feel free to comment, chat, message, carrier pigeon, email, mail, WHATEVER U WANT, me. i love u babies. thank you to @kimtaehyunq​ for the sexy banner. and for @xjoonchildx @ladyartemesia​ @untaemedqueen​ for the writing support and idea generation. i would be nothing without my council. and thank you to my beta editors @hobi-gif and @ughseoks​ and @hongism​ for the perusal and help in writing this!

Jungkook is the person you call when your world falls apart.

He answers, voice raspy from the late hour, and the second he asks you what’s wrong, the downpour of torrential tears you’ve been holding back finally escapes and you’re sobbing through the phone that you just lost the love of your life—that he left and with little effort on his part, and a lot on yours.

Jungkook listens to you—his heart aching deep in his chest at hearing the utter heartbreak that’s clear in your voice. You’ve never been hurt like this, and he’s desperate to hold you, to make it go away. He wants to drive over to Seokjin’s house and throw a left hook into his stupid, handsome face for making you feel you weren’t worth it.

Because if there’s anything in the world that Jungkook knows, it’s that you’re worth it. You’re worth everything. Add up all the money and all the gold in the entire world, and it still doesn’t meet a fraction of what you’re worth to him.

“Where are you?” He asks as he cradles the phone against one arm and pulls on his jeans.  

You sniffle. “Jungkook, it’s 3 am.”

“So? I was up playing Minecraft,” He lies. “Where are you?”

You can’t help but laugh the tiniest bit, a sliver of warmth wrapping itself around your raw and exposed heart. Like a balm to a flesh wound. It doesn’t heal it, not yet.

“I’m at our park.”

Jungkook smiles as he grips the phone back in his hand. The park. The place you and Jungkook spent your childhood playing make-believe games, and formative teenage years loitering around smoking clove cigarettes to look cool.

“Give me five minutes, okay?”

You nod, even though he can’t see you. 

“Okay.”

Jungkook arrives with two minutes to spare. His beat up Nissan that he insists is “vintage” and “priceless” idles next to you.

He can see you through the darkened glass of your car—your mascara is running down your face, tears streaked through your flawlessly applied makeup.

You still look so beautiful.

And it angers Jungkook that all that time you spent looking good for Seokjin meant nothing to him.

He motions for you to come over, pats the passenger seat next to him and smiles as he watches you open the door and slide into the security of his familiar car.

“You cleaned your car,” you murmur as you notice a severe lack of McDonald’s trash.

He sniffs haughtily. 

“The trash added character.”

Jungkook doesn’t give you a chance to respond. Instead, he’s unbuckling his seatbelt and pulling you as close to him as he can get you. The instant his arms wrap around your body, the floodgates open again and your once-quieted tears turn back into full-fledged sobs.

“I loved him,” you gasp through the pain in your throat.

He rubs your back, pats your hair gently, soothing you the way he has for years now. Through every breakup, through every family fight with your older brother Namjoon, through all the mean girls in high school. Jungkook is the north star—always consistent, always guiding you back to safety.

“I know, babe,” he sighs. “You deserve someone who’s going to treat you right, who’s not just going to give up when things get hard.”

You choke back a cry against his Patagonia hoodie and bury your face further into the crook of his neck. He smells like Old Spice and the shampoo he uses, along with the smell of laundry soap you buy for him—he uses dish soap when he runs out and nearly broke his washing machine last time.

“I thought he was the one. I’m so stupid.”

Jungkook swallows hard. Tonight is about comforting you, not about feeling sorry for himself that you’re his best friend and not his girlfriend. He can’t help but think of what kind of life he would give you. He knows it’s one that wouldn’t end with you crying in a parking lot at 3 AM.

“You’re not stupid, you just loved him. And there’s nothing stupid about loving someone, even if it doesn’t work out,” he sighs as he cradles your head against him. It feels right having you there, pressed up against him and seeking comfort from the solace of his arms.

“Let’s go get a milkshake, yeah?” He asks as you pull your head up and look at him with sad, glassy eyes.

“Yeah,” you nod after a moment of staring.

Jungkook’s eyes sparkle with love, with hope. It makes the desperate, alone feeling inside you—disappear. Jungkook presses a soft kiss to your forehead and then starts the shaky ignition of his car, that takes three cranks of the key before it turns over.

He sends you a look, a laugh evident on your face.

“Don’t even start,” he warns. “The engine is fine.”

“Whatever you say,” you snort as you wipe an errant tear from your face.  

“It’s a certified classic car! I could get millions for this baby!”

As the weeks pass, the pain of losing Seokjin becomes further and further from your mind. You can get through the day without crying anytime you see something that reminds you of him and even start flirting with others without feeling like you’re cheating.

You just still haven’t reached the point where dating someone else even feels possible. You’re terrified of allowing someone close to you, letting them into a place where you’re inviting them to possibly hurt you. You’re not sure your heart is ready for it. 

“I think you’re just scared,” your older brother Namjoon states as he warms up a bottle of milk in boiling water. 

He cradles his new baby in one arm while the other works at the bottle of milk. 

“I’m not scared,” you huff. “I just don’t think it’s the right time.” 

Namjoon sighs and hands the gurgling newborn baby off to you and readies the bottle for you to feed your new niece, Jisoo. 

“Look, Seokjin sucks, okay? I know you two were together for some time, but in the end, he wasn’t the right one for you. There’s someone out there who is the right one for you. You know how many shit frogs I had to kiss before I got my prince?” 

You make a face as you feed Jisoo, who happily sucks and gazes at the lights above. 

“You call Jimin a prince?” 

Namjoon sighs dreamily as he watches the baby and thinks of his husband. 

“The dreamiest prince,” he breathes, eyes closed in bliss. “But back to your problems. I think you should get back out there. Go on some dates, meet some people. No one is telling you to fall in love and get married tomorrow. Just go have some fun.” 

You allow Namjoon’s words to mull through your mind. What could be the harm in joining a few dating sites, perhaps spending some time at the gym or grocery store flirting with someone cute?

“Fine,” you say. “I’ll think about it.” 

“Good. I can’t be the only one giving our parents grand-babies. Soo needs a cousin.” 

You smile down at the tiny bundle in your arms and imagine a future where you have a baby of your own. 

“Okay, I’m not trying to get knocked up, Joon.” 

“Whatever,” he sighs. “Help me choose a wall color for me and Jimin’s new master bathroom.” 

Tinder’s changed since the last time you used it, years ago. It’s gone from any semblance of dating to strictly an app used to get laid. 

It’s discouraging swiping through all the obvious fuckboys. Sure, a quick and easy lay sounds great, but you’re also trying to go out and enjoy real, traditional dates, and it seems none of these guys want to step foot outside of a bedroom. 

The swiping left becomes almost monotonous. You’re sitting on your couch, watching some documentary about serial killers, when a startling profile pops up on your Tinder feed. 

The picture that pops up is... Jungkook. You can’t stop the bubble of laughter that leaps from your chest. His profile is so authentically Jungkook that you’re swiping right before you even know it. 

Your brain doesn’t even comprehend what a match with Jungkook means, really. You’re still laughing as you click on the bubble to message him and send him as many laugh emojis as you can. 

“Hey guys, what’s up, Kookie here with another Let’s Play Minecraft video for ya. Be sure to like and subscribe if you enjoy this kind of content.”

Jungkook’s headset is firmly wrapped around his head, mic next to his mouth and hands at the ready on his mouse and keyboard. He’s set and in the zone. 

The game is well into play when the familiar chime of his phone goes off. It’s a Tinder notification—he can tell by the sound. He can’t help but roll his eyes, wondering what sort of boring conversation he’s meant to have with a girl who will probably ghost him, anyway. 

He lazily lifts his phone and glances at the notification, before dropping it back to the desk. 

His hand freezes on his mouse as he finally comprehends what he just read. 

He just matched with YOU. 

His best friend. 

His secret, lifelong crush. 

He sputters something into the microphone and stops recording his game, wildly grasping for the phone and unlocking it. 

YN: 😂😂😂😂 is your bio a Minecraft pickup line?!

He pauses, attempts to collect his thoughts, before desperately typing on his screen. 

JUNGKOOK: Why? 😉😏 did it work?

You spend the rest of your night jokingly flirting with Jungkook, sending GIFs and emojis in between the silly lines you’re using on each other. 

Right before you’re about to head to sleep, Jungkook sends one last message. 

JUNGKOOK: What if we went on a date lolol. Haha jk. Unless?? 👀👀👀

Your thumbs hover over the keys to your phone. 

A date with Jungkook? Even though you matched with him, you’ve never thought of a date with your childhood best friend. 

YN: alright, it’s only fair since we matched 😝 show me how you treat these tinder ladies

“I have a date with Jungkook tonight,” you tell your brother, Namjoon, over the phone. 

Over the crying of your newborn niece, you hear Namjoon splutter in confusion. 

“You what!?” He nearly screams. “Jeon Jungkook? Like... the annoying kid you’ve been friends with since fourth grade?”

You huff. 

“He’s not annoying! He’s my best friend. We ironically matched on Tinder and… Well, why the fuck not? Nothing serious is going to happen. We’ll go out and have a story to tell about how incompatible we are.”

Namjoon doesn’t reply. Instead, you hear him speak to his husband. 

“She’s going on a date with Jungkook,” he says over the muffle of his hand on the receiver.

There’s a shuffle, and the dulcet voice of your brother-in-law, Jimin, comes over the line. 

“Girl,” he starts. “What the fuck?”

You chuckle as you move about your closet, trying to decide what’s appropriate to wear on a date with your best friend. 

“It’s nothing!” 

“Mm-hmm,” Jimin tuts. “You know the boy is in love with you.” 

“Okay, Chim, you’ve been spending too much time cooped up with my brother. It’s affecting your grip on reality.”

“Sure, honey. I just tell it like it is. Don’t break his heart.” 

You roll your eyes. 

“I won’t break his heart because there’s nothing there, Jimin.”

“I’ll be expecting your call later.”

“Yes, dad. Love you guys.”

“We love you too, sweetheart. But really, don’t break that poor boy’s heart.”

You open your mouth to retort yet another reassurance that there’s nothing to break, but the line goes dead.

“Fucking Jimin,” you mutter as you throw your phone to the bed.

You can’t allow yourself to think that Jungkook might have feelings for you. It’s totally out of the questions. He’s your best friend. The guy who shoves Cheetos up his nose to make you laugh and falls asleep during every movie night with his face in the popcorn bowl. He’s just Jungkook. This date is just a funny way to hang out.

So, why do you care so much about what you wear?

You’re still standing in front of your closet, attempting to find something respectable to wear. It doesn’t matter that the last time Jungkook saw you; it was with mascara streaming down your face and a hoodie from Namjoon’s college swimming days and ripped leggings. Jungkook has seen you in nearly everything you wear, so your indecisiveness gives you pause.

Do you want Jungkook to be attracted to you? Do you want to do your best to look as presentable as you would for a normal date?

The thudding of your heart tells you that maybe you’re more interested in this being a date than you’re allowing yourself to believe.

You shake all thoughts off. 

No, you won’t allow yourself to overthink a night that should just be fun.

You settle for a fitted and simple summer dress, tights and heels. Simple, easy, respectable but also showing enough cleavage and sculpt of your ass to ensure you look more dressed up than not.

Perfect.

With one last look in the mirror, you’re ready.

JUNGKOOK: I’m outside!

ME: See you soon!

Jungkook taps his foot anxiously as he sits on the bench outside your apartment. His tight black jeans feel like a second skin on his legs, and the black button-down shirt he’s tucked in makes him rethink his choice of outfit.

Is he too casual?

He’s never really worn something like this around you. This is what Jungkook wears when he wants to seduce. This is what every girl he’s desperately wished was you got to see. The girls who swooned over his messy hair, the way his jeans display his toned thighs, the peek of skin at his throat.

Maybe it’s too much.

Maybe he’s afraid he’ll scare you away.

Maybe he’s afraid you won’t like it.

He’s given no chance to ruminate anymore because you’re exiting the building and walking straight towards him.

He doesn’t think he remembers how to breathe.

It’s as if you walk towards him in slow motion. Angels chorus around him and the setting sun sparkles on your face like a spotlight. There’s nothing in the world anymore, nothing but you.

You’re the most beautiful human he’s ever seen in his life.

“Hi,” you smile as you approach him.

He continues to stare, eyes traveling over the soft curves of your cheeks and jaw, trailing down to the way your dress clings just right to each dip of your body. His throat goes dry.

You are without a doubt the girl of his dreams. 

“Jungkook?”

It pushes him out of his reverie, eyes widening as he realizes he’s been staring at you for maybe a few minutes too long to play off as normal.

“Hey!” He coughs, attempting to right himself.

“You okay?” You ask, eyebrow lifted in concern.

“Yeah! Yup! Totally! I’m okay—a-okay, absolutely great.” He internally slaps himself.

“You clean up nice,” you smile as your eyes elevate up and down the lean form of his body.

“Oh?” He asks, taken aback. 

In his daze, he never even realized what you’re thinking about him, rather only how intensely he was thinking about you.

“This must be the Jungkook that all the girls in college couldn’t stop begging me to hook them up with.”

His cheeks flame with sudden embarrassment, hand moving to the back of his neck to rub it awkwardly. 

“Ha, yeah,” he swallows. “You look r-really nice too. I don’t think I’ve seen you in a dress since your brother’s wedding.”

The smile that he’s rewarded with nearly knocks him on his ass. “Thanks! It’s fun to dress up cute again. Jin hated this dress.”

A stab of pain eeks its way into Jungkook’s heart. Seokjin. God, how he hates that man.

“Well, uh, you can wear whatever you want with me!” He assures. 

You loop your arm around Jungkook’s, saddling up to his side as you look at him expectantly.

“Well, are we going?”

Jungkook can’t help but smile at the sparkle in your eye, the way you peer up at him with those soft, cherry lips. He wants to capture them with his own, kiss you until you don’t remember Seokjin’s name ever again.

But he resists.

“Let’s go!”

You never thought you’d admit it to yourself. You never even thought it could happen. 

But the date is everything you’ve ever wanted, and more. 

Jungkook is still Jungkook, still just as silly and easy to talk to as he always is. 

But he’s also charming. Flirtatious, even. He holds doors open for you; he rests his hand on the small of your back as he guides you towards your table at dinner. He feeds you bites of his dessert and lets his eyes linger on the way your lips look wrapped around his fork. 

Jungkook treats you the way you’ve always wanted to be treated. Like someone he wants to cherish for the rest of your combined lives. Someone he wants to take care of, build a future with, enjoy life with.

And as much as it thrills you, it absolutely frightens you. 

It’s when you’re walking down the small river trail together that Jungkook slips his hand into yours and laces your fingers together. The once-steady beat of your heart becomes erratic. He continues chatting—as if holding your hand was a subconscious act for him. He’s knee deep in a story of his Minecraft server when you stop walking, causing him to pause. 

“What’s up?” He asks curiously. 

Your eyes glitter with anticipation, with fear, as you stare at the gorgeous man before you. He looks like a full course meal in his tight jeans and he makes you feel like a princess. You can suddenly see doing life by his side—no longer his platonic best friend, but as his lover and lifelong partner. 

You say nothing. Instead, you simply close the space between you two by grabbing the buttons of his shirt and tugging his lips onto yours. 

“Wha—oh, mmmmmm.”

Jungkook is still for a second as he battles the surprise, but jumps into action and cups your face with his hands, deepening the kiss by pushing his tongue past your lips and swirling it around your own. 

Your bodies press close together. He can feel your breasts against his chest and he desperately wants to rip the dress off your body and worship you like he’s always wanted to. 

As soon as the kiss started, it’s over. You’re pulling away with eyes wide with fear.

“I’m sorry, I—I need to go,” you stammer awkwardly.

Jungkook’s heart drops to his stomach.

“What? We were going to get ice cream?”

You can feel tears building in the corners of your eyes. You’re so confused, so unsure of what you’re feeling. You want to stay and kiss Jungkook until you’re clawing at the clothing on his body, pressing kisses to the firm column of his neck. You want to run far away, too scared to admit it to him you’re sure you could love him for the rest of his life.

You can’t lose that friendship. You can’t risk everything you love about Jungkook. He’ll only hurt you the way every boyfriend ever has.

“I don’t really feel well,” you swallow hard as you lie. Jungkook always knows when you’re lying.

His body stiffens.

“Okay, let me walk you home.”

You shake your head, already moving away from the man.

“It’s fine. We’re nearby. I’ll just run or something.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but you’ve already turned face and started running the direction away from him.

Jungkook watches, misty-eyed, as the girl of his dreams runs further and further away from him.

You’re sobbing as you finally reach home, out of breath and confused. The phone call to Namjoon is quick.

“Yo,” he says cooly as he answers the phone. His tone changes when he hears your whimpering sobs on the other end.

“Joonie,” you whisper. “I fucked up.”

“Oh god,” Namjoon quickly shuffles and calls his husband over, before putting the phone on speaker.

“What’s happened, baby?” Jimin’s sweet voice asks.

“I—I kissed him,” you sob, holding yourself close in the comfort of the elevator. 

Namjoon and Jimin look at each other with knowing looks.

“We’re on our way over.”

Jimin knows the first order of business is to stop the crying. He places sleeping baby Jisoo in your arms, which quiets your whimpers enough as you cling to the tiny baby. He knows your weakness is sleeping babies.

Namjoon looks on anxiously, hates seeing his little sister upset and with no way to make it better.

Jimin’s been asked to take the lead on this, because he knows his husband's response is to cry as well—he gets emotional anytime he sees her cry. Namjoon agreed, knowing Jimin was better suited for the conversation.

“Tell us what happened,” Jimin asks quietly. You’re rocking the baby gently, sobs turned to sniffles. “Did something go wrong on the date?”

Your eyes peer up at your brother-in-law’s, a wounded look that makes Jimin feel sad. Namjoon clenches beside him, and Jimin lays a hand on his lap to soothe the protective brother.

“No,” you whisper. “That’s the thing. It was an amazing date.”

Jimin watches you curiously, but remains silent to let you continue.

“We had dinner, and we played arcade games and we walked around. And he was so… fuck, he was perfect. It was like dating the guy of my dreams.”

Jimin nods knowingly.

“And it surprised you how much you liked him.”

“Yeah,” you sniffle. “At the end, he was holding my hand and just talking about normal, stupid Jungkook shit, but this time it felt like more. Like, I felt in my heart that I wanted to be the one he always talked to about it. I wanted to be the one he came home to at night.”

Jimin pats your cheek lovingly, the care for his sister-in-law clear in his gaze. 

“You don’t just like him, honey. I think you might even love him.”  

You pull baby Jisoo tighter into your grasp and nod, pathetic tears slipping down your face. 

“I just left him. Like, I ran away from him like an asshole.”

Namjoon grunts and takes a spot next to Jimin. “If he loves you, which I’m sure he does, he’ll still be waiting for you.”

Jimin nods and rests a hand on his husband's back. “But you better have one hell of an apology.”

Jungkook doesn’t answer your phone calls. He doesn’t respond to your texts, snapchats or Instagram DM’s. He doesn’t even look at the TikToks you sent him! It’s becoming infuriating to get in touch with him.

You take matters into your own hands and storm to his apartment after work, the rising tension in your shoulders and stomach full of rocks an indicator of your anxiety about the future of this relationship.

Jungkook opens the door wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweats. All the carefully crafted words exit your mind at light 

speed and you’re left gasping, wide-eyed at the chiseled body of your best friend.

“Can I help you?” He asks, tone flat.

Ouch.

You push past him into the apartment you know so well. “Yeah, you could start by answering your phone.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes and closes the door, then heads back towards the large gaming setup in the living room.

“My apologies for not responding to the girl who literally ran away from me on a date.”

Your cheeks heat uncomfortably as you stand in the center of his living room, arms crossed over your chest. 

“Jungkook, listen. I’m—”

“Please,” he shakes his head as he sits down at the impressive gaming chair. “Save the apologies. I get it.”

“You don’t get it!” You say, exasperated. “You don’t get any of it! That’s why I’m here.”

Jungkook narrows a look at you then stands from his chair. Slowly, he makes his way towards you and stands inches from your face. The proximity of his bare, toned chest to your body makes your throat dry.

“No, you don’t get it.” His voice is threateningly quiet, completely different from his usual chipper tone. 

“Jungkook, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” He quirks his head sarcastically, and you’re struck by the sharp lines of his jaw. “Sorry for running away from the date? Sorry for going on a date? Sorry for making me feel like I had a fucking chance when you kissed me?”

You swallow hard and open your mouth to reply, but he cuts you off.

“I’m sorry too. For giving myself way too much hope that this could ever be something. I’m sorry for myself for thinking you’d at least respect me enough to reject me politely.”

“You always had a chance!” You can feel tears building in your eyes and Jungkook feels his heart pound in his chest like a drum.

He scoffs, a harsh and mirthless laugh. “Clearly not.”

“I just—,” you start. “I never saw you like that before and suddenly you became everything I’ve ever dreamed of. It was like getting hit by a train, Kook! Suddenly my best friend turned into the man of my dreams.”

He shakes his head, stepping back away from you.

“I really find it hard to believe you,” he whispers. “I can’t let myself hope.”

“Jungkook, please,” you beg as tears start slipping down your face. “Please believe me.”

“Just leave,” he sighs. “I hate making you cry.”

You want so badly to wrap yourself in his arms, cry into his chest like you always do when you’re hurt. But you stand still, frozen in your shame and embarrassment of hurting your best friend so badly.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, before you spin around as quickly as you can and leave Jungkook’s apartment in a flurry.

He watches as the door slams behind you, eyes full of sadness and regret. As much as he wants to believe you, have faith in every word you said, he can’t allow himself to get his hopes up again.

He can’t watch you run away from him again.

“Welcome back to Kookie’s Wild Weekly Walkthrough!” Jungkook cheers as enthusiastically as he can through his microphone. “The weekly segment where I react to your Minecraft worlds!”

Jungkook needed to dive back into streaming to take his mind off of you. He hasn’t left his apartment in days, only subsisting on takeout and coffee. At least he was making more money and his subscribers didn’t seem to mind the up-tick in content.

“Tonight I’ll be walking through a creation sent by,” he squints at the username. “‘Kookiesgal95’ Aww that’s cute.”  

He readies the content and starts his camera as he watches the YouTube link. His subscribers love his reaction videos—it’s a highly requested segment.

The video starts off easily, a generic Minecraft world that looks like a park.

“Hi Kook.”

The voice that reverberates through his headphones makes him pause the video quickly, wide-eyed with recognition.

It’s you. He’d know that voice from a million others. 

Shit. He’s going to have to edit so much of this clip. He’s staring at the screen as if he’s just seen a ghost.

Unsteadily, he clicks play again and watches as you lead him through your Minecraft creation.

“I wanted to recreate something for someone very special in my life.”

Jungkook doesn’t even bother to react to this anymore. This entire video is going to be worthless—there’s nothing he can say.

The video pans around the Minecraft setup and he can see what looks like handmade swings and merry go rounds.

“It took me a really long time to do this and an embarrassing amount of help from some twelve-year-olds on the internet.”

He laughs and is stunned by the wet tears rolling down his cheeks. He hadn’t realized he was crying.

“I re-created a park that is really special to my best friend and I.”

He feels his chest tighten and relax. The park. 

“This is the spot where he held me when my dog died when I was nine. I still miss that dog.”

The view is on a spot next to a blocky oak tree. Jungkook remembers that day, remembers your heartbroken sobs as he whispered words of comfort to you. He misses that dog, too. 

“This is where he and my brother got in a fight when we were eleven, because my brother called me a stupid-head. My best friend has always been protective of me, even from my own big brother.”

He can still remember pushing Namjoon around after hearing him call you names. He pushed Namjoon over and threatened to use his “big muscles” if he did it again.

The camera pans to an enormous structure, rather sloppily made, of a slide and monkey bars.

“This is where we first shared a joint in high school. I coughed a lung up and he ran down the street to a gas station at ten pm to get me a bottle of water even though I told him I was okay,”

The memory of the bewildered 7-11 employee plays through his mind. The man watched as a very stoned, very out of breath, Jungkook paid for a bottle of water in coins.

The video continues playing, moves towards what appears to be a parking lot made of cobblestone blocks.

“This is where he held me when my world fell apart.”

The break-up. The way you cried and cried and cried in his arms and he held you as if you were the only thing left on Earth. 

“This is where he reminded me I’m worthy of love, that I’m not broken. This is where he held me like I was delicate, but treated me like I was unbreakable.”

His tears don’t stop. Jungkook feels his heart thundering in his chest like a summer storm. 

He can hear your sniffles through the recording of the video—you were crying too. It pans around to the swing set.

“And this is where I’ll tell him everything, tonight. Where I’ll tell him how deeply I love him and how I want to make him the happiest guy in the world. In all of Minecraft and beyond. I hope he comes.”

Jungkook doesn’t even bother turning his camera off.

Instead, he’s running to change out of his three-day-old clothes and bolt out the door.

The creaky, rusty metal of the swing set is deafeningly loud in the silence of your park.

It’s dark, just a few street lights around to illuminate the perimeter, but it’s otherwise only lit by the moon.

It’s getting cold. You shiver in your hoodie and kick at the dirt under your swing. 

Maybe he didn’t see the video. Maybe he wasn’t going to show.

Maybe it was too late.

You spent hours working on the Minecraft world, staying up at all hours of the night to build and craft a poor re-creation of this park. The twelve-year-olds on Reddit had been invaluable and Namjoon definitely made fun of you for your creative assistants. But it had all been worth it. 

“Fuck,” you speak out loud to no one, as you try to warm your hands in the pockets of your sweater. “It’s cold.”

“You should have brought a jacket.”

The sudden voice from behind startles you. You hop off the swing and whip around to face  down the intruder.

Jungkook.

He looks so good. He’s wearing a thick coat and tight jeans. Your eyes take a delicious journey from head to toe.

He can’t help but preen at your blatant appreciation. He enjoys knowing you’re attracted to him, at least physically.

“You came.”

He nods and takes a nervous step towards you. He’s still far away, more than an arm's-reach away. You’re desperate to bring him closer, to pull him tight against your body and wrap yourself around him. You never want to be without his gentle touch again.

“I felt pretty compelled to come after you made all this in Minecraft for me.” He cracks a wry smile, a boy-ish grin that makes your heart flutter.

“It took me twenty-five hours and some teenagers to help.”

He laughs, a beautiful sound that warms you. “I’m sure they were ecstatic to help.”

You chew at the inside of your cheek, nervous at what he thinks about your in-game confession.

“Did you mean it?” He asks. He steps closer—one more step.

“Every word.”

His eyes are searching yours for the truth, desperately diving into the depths for validity.

“Why did you run away?” Another step.

You swallow hard, heavy tears brimming in your eyes.

“You went from being the silly best friend to being the person I could spend the rest of my life with. It all hit me. It’s always been you.”

One more step and now he’s just within your reach. If you stuck your hand out, your fingers would graze the soft puff of his coat, the delicate skin of his neck. 

“I’ve always felt that way about you. I never thought you’d feel the same.”

You smile softly, timidly. “It just took me a little while longer to realize it.”

All at once, Jungkook closes the gap and holds you gently by your cheeks. His thumbs wipe at the moisture under your eyes. 

“I promise to never make you cry again,” he whispers reverently. 

“And I promise to never run away from you again.” 

Jungkook smiles at that, cradling your face like you’re the most expensive and precious jewel. 

“Can I kiss you again?” He asks, somewhat unsure of himself. 

“I would like it if you would.”

As Jungkook presses his cold, plush lips to your own, you make a promise to yourself to never go a day without kissing him again. 

“I can’t believe you’re in my bedroom,” Jungkook murmurs as he kisses at your face. After the park, Jungkook loaded you into his priceless Nissan and scurried home. You could hardly keep your hands off him as he drove you back to his place—reaching and caressing the spots on his body you’re dying to become familiar with. 

“I’ve been in your bedroom before,” you remind him as he tugs up the hoodie you’re wearing. 

“God, don’t be so semantic when I’m trying to fuck you,” he says before throwing the hoodie to a corner of the room. “You know what I mean.”

Jungkook kisses you again, all lips and teeth and tongue. He kisses you like you’re the last breath of air, and he’s greedy for every bit. He grips your hips, not too tight, and brings your body against his. You can feel him grow in hardness in his too tight, and it feels like bliss. 

Teasingly, you grind your hips against his, making him shudder with desire.

“I want you,” he whines as he nibbles at your lip. 

“Really? I couldn’t tell.”

He opens his eyes to level a look at you, pulling his mouth away from yours. 

“You’re such a little smartass.”

His hands become feverish on your jeans, tugging apart the button and flicking down the fly. He pushes them down quickly, and you kick them off carelessly. 

He can’t stop looking at you in your bra and panties, standing at the foot of his bed. 

“Holy shit, okay, this is happening, right? Like, this is real?” 

You smirk, pleased with Jungkook’s obvious excitement. 

“Let me prove it’s not just a dream.” 

Softly, you spin Jungkook around and push him down to sit on his bed. He complies easily, eyes wide and excited. 

“If this is a dream, would you be able to feel this?” You ask as you unbuckle  his belt and open his jeans. He doesn’t reply, simply watches you as you tug his jeans down to his thighs. 

His cock strains hard against his tight boxers, and you run a teasing finger over the obvious bulge. 

“Oh fuck,” he breathes. 

“Feels pretty real, huh?”

“Y-yeah.” 

Your delicate hands gently tug at the waistband of his boxers and easily work them down enough to free the length of his cock. It springs out easily and your eyes widen at the impressive size. You assumed he would be at least average, but you’re looking at something definitely more. 

“Oh wow,” you whisper. “You’re fucking huge.” 

Jungkook grins. “All for you, baby.” The cockiness is palpable. 

One solid grip around him wipes the presumptuous smile off his face, replaced with a gasping, shuddering moan. 

“How about this? Not a dream?”

He struggles to find his voice, instead he’s gulping for air like a fish out of water. 

“That’s what I thought,” you whisper before settling into a position on your knees. “I’ll admit, I’ve dreamt about this too. I always felt so ashamed for dreaming about sucking my best friend's cock.”

You press soft kisses to the head of his length, teasing the sensitive areas at the tip before kissing up and down the length. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

His evident desire for you encourages you, and your tongue swipes at the crown of his tip and swirls around it gently. 

“Oh my god.” His eyes shutter closed and you trace the veins in his dick with your tongue. 

“This h-has to be a dreeeaaaaam,” he whines as you make an exceptionally long stripe with the flat of your tongue. 

You pull off for a moment, humming. He springs his eyes open and watches as you reach behind your back and unsnap your bra. Your breasts escape with a bounce and his eyes widen, nearly bulging out of their sockets. 

“What the fuck,” he whines. “You have the most amazing tits.”

He reaches out to grasp them and you slap them away playfully. 

“Not yet,” you smirk. “Still trying to convince you you’re not asleep.” 

He sucks in his breath and puts his hands back to the bed to steady himself, eyes never leaving yours (except to stare at the luscious curves of your body). 

Grasping your breasts in both hands, you smash them together lightly in an elaborate show of what Jungkook wants most. You lean over his body and place the throbbing thickness of his cock in between your tits, allowing him to feel just how soft and warm they are. 

“Shit!” He yelps, grabbing his sheets in a tight fist. “Are you really tit-fucking me right now?!”

Slowly, you lift your body up and down, allowing his cock to feel each stroke of your breasts. You nod at his question and continue to pump up and down. 

“Still dreaming?” 

He whines and shakes his head, already feeling so close to the edge. His cock is slick from your teasing licks and the pressure of your tits surrounding him had his mind spinning with desire. 

“Ahhh, I’m so fucking close,” he warns.

You continue, speeding up the friction and pressure of your strokes. 

“I want you to cum on me, Kook,” you whisper encouragingly. “Cum on my tits, please?”

Jungkook feels like he’s a wire about to snap, and your thick, sultry voice and incredibly perfect breasts are the snips that breaks him apart. 

“Oh, shit,” he grunts. “Gonna paint your titties white, baby.”

His moans echo around the walls of his bedroom, small gasps of pleasure and your name escaping his perfectly plump pout. 

His hot load splatters on your chest, and you stroke him through each pulse of his cock. You’re slippery with his seed now, and when you pull away from his spent length, you make a show of rubbing in his cum over your chest.

“Okay, definitely not dreaming,” he says in a daze as he watches you lift a wet finger to your mouth, popping it in to clean it off. “Who knew you were so fucking kinky?” 

His confidence grows as he catches his breath. He can’t believe he’s sitting on his bed with you on your knees, breasts covered in his load. You’re suckling the cum off your finger like it’s his cock, and he’s desperate for more.

“There are lots of things you don’t know about me,” you shrug. 

Swiftly, he grabs you gently by your bicep and pulls you close, sucking at your lips until you’re both standing. 

“I plan to find out everything.” 

Suddenly, you’re switching positions and Jungkook is pushing you down into the bed. You lay flat in the center, body relaxed and eager for your best friend.

“What are you doing?” You ask. He’s still standing at the end of the bed, watching you get comfortable. Once he’s satisfied that you’re lying exactly how you want, he settles himself by your feet.

“Worshipping you,” he says as he lifts an ankle and presses gentle kisses to your calf. “Showing you how much I adore you.” More kisses, soft and sweet. “Showing you how I plan on treating you for the rest of your life.” 

He takes his time, lavishing your legs with his mouth. He kisses and sucks at any spot, sexual or not. He mouths at the roundness of your knees, your firm hamstrings. He presses his love into the skin of your thighs, mouthing his praises with each kiss. 

He reaches the dip of your hips and he gently kisses your exposed skin as he tugs your cotton panties off you. 

“I have loved every inch of you since before I can remember,” he praises as his lips skim over the mound of your cunt. “And I don’t plan on stopping soon.” 

Your body feels like it’s on fire, as if Jungkook lights a match at every spot his lips press against. Your eyes close, and you allow Jungkook to continue his pious worship of your body. 

He teases around your folds, kissing your labia ever so gently—making you gasp. He doesn’t linger long, only kisses you enough to stir the licking flames of heat in your belly.  

He kisses at your stomach, gently nibbling and laving at the softness there. You try to hide from him, try to hide your insecurities of your body in his thorough exploration, but he moves your hands. 

“I know you don’t like this part of your body,” he murmurs. His voice is so soft, so pure and sincere. “But I do. I love everything about you.” 

His tongue swirls around your belly button, making you gasp at the ticklish sensation. 

“You’re so pretty. So perfect.” 

He continues upwards, lips now trailing to your full breasts. He takes his time there, licking and kissing and flicking at your nipples with his tongue. It feels exhilarating—Jungkook’s mouth feels like everything you want it to feel like. His tongue is warm, and he bites with just enough pressure to make your back arch off the bed into his embrace.

His hands explore, taking stock of every millimeter of skin he can find. He wants to memorize every freckle, every bump, every scar and line. Your body is his paradise, and all he can think of is you, you, you.

One hand travels down your body as he moves his lips up your neck. It snakes down your stomach and deftly slides over your soaked core. You whine as you feel his fingers part your folds and dip into the wetness.

“So wet,” he says out loud, verbalizing every tantalizing detail of your body. “So perfect.”

His lips are finally at your own and you kiss him passionately, tongue swirling around his as he slides his two fingers past your clit and into your drenched hole. You gasp against his mouth, eyes widening as he slowly scissors his fingers into you and pumps slowly. It’s almost teasing, the way he fucks his fingers in you. Slow, firm movements with his powerful hands.

“Jungkook!” You gasp. He doesn’t reply, instead he bites at your lip and tugs, then trails his hot mouth back down to your nipples. He can’t get enough of your breasts and the slightly salty taste of him still lingering.

“You feel so good,” he says as he speeds his fingers up minutely. “So tight and wet for me.”

Your hips writhe in need. He’s giving you what you need, but not enough. You need more, more. You want to feel him, all of him, spearing you open.

“Please, Kook,” you groan. “I need you.”

He laughs softly against your nipple and sucks extra hard, letting it pop out of his mouth audibly.

“And I need you, my love.”

“Fuck me, please.” You’re desperate, thighs quaking from the slow teasing. “I want you to fuck me, Jungkook.”

Chills shudder down Jungkook’s spine and he’s powerless to say no, not when you demand it so well.

“With pleasure,” he agrees. He pulls his fingers from within you and copies your move, sliding them into his mouth to suck your essence off. 

He’s never looked sexier. His eyes are dark chocolate pools of burning intensity, and you feel your breath become shaky as you watch him clean his fingers with precision.

After he’s deemed his fingers sufficiently clean, he settles himself between your legs. Easily, he lifts your hips and shoves a pillow underneath, elevating you to a more comfortable position. He grabs your legs and tosses each over his shoulders so they’re higher in the air. 

“I’m going to fuck you so good, baby,” he promises as he rubs the tip of his cock on your soppy slit. “Condom?”

You shake your head, appreciative of his question but desperate to feel him completely.

“Birth control. Regularly tested. Haven’t had sex in a while,” you blurt out. “You good?”

He nods in agreement. “Same. Well, except the birth control. But, I’d take it if they made it for men.”

“Jungkook!” You whine. Your best friend is so easily sidetracked. “Please, can you fuck me?”

He grins. “Tsk, someone is impatient.”

A low moan is rumbling in your chest as he continues to rub his thick cock at your entrance.

“I swear to god, you’re the biggest tease.”

“Oh, I’m definitely the biggest.”

Before you can react, he’s pushing past your entrance and sliding deep in your walls. Your position makes his cock feel deep, and he bottoms out and stills there, eyes closed in bliss.

“Holy shit,” he gasps. “This is absolutely the best pussy I’ve ever felt.”

You wiggle your hips as you get used to the sensation of the delicious stretch.

“Please don’t tell me how many pussies you’ve felt when you’re balls deep inside of me.”

Jungkook turns his head and kisses at your legs resting on his shoulders, lavishing them with his praise once more as he keeps his cock buried inside your tight heat.

“Yours is the only one that matters. The only pussy I’ll ever be in for the rest of my life.”

“That’s a good answer,” you smile. “Now, fuck me, lover boy.”

Jungkook winks and grips your hips with his hands. He swiftly pulls out, enamored with the way his cock is already covered in your creamy essence, then eagerly pushes back in. He sets a pace and soon the sound of skin clapping on skin echoes around the room.

“Oh god!” You’re moaning loudly, unabashedly. You’re thankful that Jungkook’s old roommate, Yoongi, moved out to live with his boyfriend Hoseok months ago. He’d definitely complain about the noise for months. “Fuck, Jungkook, you feel so good.”

Jungkook fucks into you with ferocity, speed and power gradually rising as he feels his core tighten with the coming anticipation of release.

“Mmm, you look so fucking sexy like this,” he murmurs. “Getting fucked by your best friend’s fat cock.”

He moves a hand from your hip, trails it up your body to squeeze at your breast, before he’s cupping your face once again. His hips snap against yours and he loves the way your mouth utters little squeaks and gasps with each deep thrust into you.

“God, my beautiful girl,” he groans. “Can’t wait to cum in this pussy, shit, you got me so fucking close.”

You open your mouth desperately and Jungkook easily slips his thumb in. You latch on quickly and suck, tongue swirling around the tip like you’re sucking another cock. It nearly sends him over the edge and the speed of his hips matches his desperate need for more.

“Fucking hell,” he bites back. He can feel his belly tighten, driven further and further to the edge by the constricting wetness of your cunt. 

He pulls his thumb out and moves it down to where his cock spears into you, allowing your spit to swirl with his thumb around your clit. Your core tightens around him at the added stimulation and your back arches up in ecstasy.

“I’m so c-close, Kook,” you plead, as if begging for mercy. “Please, I want to cum so bad.”

The speed of his thumb increases, and he watches as your face twists in pleasure and desperation. 

“Cum on my cock, baby, let me see you fall apart. Show me what I’ve dreamt of for so long.”

A high and wanton cry ripples out of your body as he savagely increases his speed, both his cock and thumb working overtime to drive you towards your end. The butterflies that erupt in your lower stomach make your moans louder, higher. You’re so close, closer than ever. It’s building to an incredible crescendo.

He can tell you’re close—he sees it on your face as your back arches and your fists grip his sheets.

“You look like a fucking angel, baby,” he whines as he soaks in the vision of you writhing underneath him. “I bet you cum like an angel, too. Let me see it, let me see.”

With just a few more swirls of his thumb and his deep, hard strokes, you’re soaring over the edge into a pool of nothingness. Your cunt pulsates wildly around his length, milking and stroking it with your tight walls. You throw your head back, moaning out his name at the top of his lungs, letting his neighbors know just who fucks you so well.

“Holy shit,” he gasps, hips stuttering as he fucks into your juicy hole. “That was so fucking sexy.”

You grip his forearms, holding onto him tight and encourage him to go harder. “Cum inside me, Kookie, please. I’m all yours, make me yours.”

His heart feels like it might burst in his chest. He’s always wanted you to say it to him, to hand over your love to him like he does so easily to you. It’s all so much, so overwhelming, and the feeling of your hot cunt still fluttering around him sends him reeling into his own completion. 

He spills into you, warm seed coating your walls and pooling inside your womb. He fucks himself through each throb of his cock until he’s sure he’s drained every ounce of himself into you.

Your legs slip off his shoulders easily, and he gently pulls himself out of you. He falls beside you, panting with exertion, and wraps an arm around you.

After a few silent moments of catching your breath, Jungkook pulls you in close to him until he can koala-cling to you, arms and legs both wrapped around your body.

“Mine,” he whispers as he kisses your head. “All mine.”

You return the favor, clinging to your best friend—boyfriend—like he’s your only lifeline.

“All yours.”

“So, you’re telling me, you got together because of Minecraft?” Jimin asks, pointing a fork in your direction. It’s been months now since your grand virtual declaration of love for Jungkook. Months of bliss and romance, laughter and companionship. 

You were right all along. Jungkook is everything you’ve wanted in a man and more.

You’re sitting at your brother’s expensive dinner table, enjoying a meal with his family with your boyfriend at your side.

“Yeah, Jimin, I guess that’s what I’m saying,” you retort as you roll your eyes. “Minecraft and Tinder.”

Baby Jisoo is awake and in your brother’s arms, but she’s whining and wiggling to leave him.

“What’s wrong, Soo?” Namjoon asks with a pout on his lips. “Why don’t you want daddy anymore?”

Jimin snorts at his husband and you hold out your arms for your baby niece. “Come here, baby, I know you want auntie.”

Namjoon dutifully hands over his daughter, sulking that he’s been picked over for his sister. 

You cradle the baby in your arms, expecting her to calm once she’s there, but she continues to fuss. She’s thrusting her arms out and nearly crying, reaching towards Jungkook who’s busy chowing down on Jimin’s homemade ramen.

“I think she wants you, Kook,” you murmur. He looks at you, then to the baby, then back to you, before he wipes his hands and face clean with a napkin.

“Oh, okay,” he whispers, slowly taking the baby from your arms with your help. “Hello, ma’am.”

Namjoon and Jimin laugh. “She’s a baby, Jungkook, not an elderly woman,” your brother teases.

Jungkook doesn’t listen. He’s too busy cooing at the baby in his arms and playing with her tiny hands. Namjoon turns his attention away and looks at you.

“Guess I won’t be the only provider of grandchildren for much longer.”

You playfully glare at him and turn away to watch your boyfriend. Watching Jungkook interact with your niece makes your heart swell, your soul sing. He’d be a perfect father.

“I swear, if he teaches her how to play Minecraft, he’s banned from the household,” Jimin grumbles. “This is a No-Nerd-Zone.”

Jungkook cradles the child and rocks back and forth, singing her a soft, made-up song, before he looks over at you.

“Hey, I want one of these,” he smiles. “Can we have one?”

You lay a hand on your stomach, a soft bump not quite visible yet. It’s only been one test, the lines faintly indicating ‘positive’ on the stick. You wanted to make sure, get confirmation before you spill the beans.

“Sure, Kookie.”

He grins and leans over to kiss you, before turning his attention back to the baby. “Okay, Jisoo, now let me tell you all about the Endermen.”

Jimin groans. “Oh my god, do not give Minecraft facts to my infant!”

tag list - @giadalin @nohayarcoirissintormenta @pjmislovely @xhazmania @marcoazam2 @eggbutnotyolk @feel-the-sunset @unicornbabylover @aretha170 @jeonmisha @hordanhearsawhooo 

© ppersonna - 2021 - do not repost on any site, or translate without express permission from author.

[prof-peach]

Hi! I saw your pokemon matchups and figured I'd toss mine in!

Hi, I'm Boris, 20, and I'm an artist. My favorite pokemon typing of all time are poison types, they just have this unconventional charm to them that I can relate to.

I am autistic and disabled, so loud or very energetic pokemon would not be very good for me. I am a messy person and struggle to take care of myself sometimes due to depression but I am very caring and sensitive to the needs of others around me. I struggle with chronic pain and energy loss as well.

I am introverted but witty and compassionate, and I find value in embracing things that are unusual and unique

Personality will vary of course, that’s something that you’ll have to find out when you go find a Pokemon close to you that you’re open to adopting. Professors and breeders will try to match you up with Pokemon who share your vibe. They won’t pair you with loud over the top Pokemon, in fact you might have the opportunity to meet something a little older and wiser, this may also extend to their sense of humour.

Species wise let’s see, so mess is something we get folks saying they get caught up by a lot. I advise a trubbish. They’re quite functional at simple tasks, even if it’s just ‘put the dirty clothes in the laundry basket’, or cleaning up trash from around your bed, or in the house. 100 empty water bottles? No worries with a Trubbish. Keeps the home tidy I find, they’re quick to sniff out rubbish to chow down on. They’re also one of the more social and bright Pokemon in the poison category I find. They often show great curiosity and love for the unusual, something you seem to do too from your above points. People slate them, but they’re incredible Pokemon. It’s a myth they smell bad all the time, easily fixed by feeding them empty cleaning product bottles, shampoo containers, car fresheners, and old candles to name a few things.

For your artsy side, something that will bring you hopefully respite from stress, and joy, moments of happiness, perhaps a spinarak is for you. Not everyone likes bug types, but I feel you might be ok with them. These Pokemon show skill with web spinning that other arachnid based Pokemon do not. They actively create beautiful patterns within their webs to attract mates in the wild, and will do so as practice and fun too. That coupled with their great little personalities makes them a really uplifting Pokemon to be around. Good for the low moods for sure, got little buggy hearts of gold. Getting one that hatched and grew up in your local area will make them far more self sufficient too.

Psychic types are best suited to help people with the actual functional aspects of autism, and disabilities, their skill set are perfectly matched, so I cannot suggest a poison type that would give you the same skill and ability once trained. Claydol are often overlooked. A low maintenance, unusual psychic type, very capable at helping folks day to day. They also have some very calming sounds, nothing too energetic usually, once use to humans, docile and usually quite loyal. Maybe a slowpoke if you have the space for a paddling pool? Great aids.

Budew produce a collection of scents, some bred to be soothing, others energising, it might be worth looking into one as a buddy. They’re easy to care for, hardy and sweet. They’re often seen in recovery wards, many nurses swear by their beneficial scents to the speed of patients recovery.

Keep an open mind, these are just a few options of a vast choice of Pokemon, just make sure they’ve been through official training and are aid certified for everyone’s safety. Pokecentres colleges, and labs run these courses, so people can get training in with teachers around.

[tatlandtaelsurveys]

Twenty One

Survey by Robotease

1. Do you like zombie movies? I do! I watched Train to Busan. I am watching the Kdrama series All of Us Are Dead. 2. What’s the grossest/worst thing you’ve ever seen in a public restroom? Bloody period or tampon on the ground. Missed the trashcan? 3. What’s the most wasteful thing you regularly do? I don’t recycle as much as I could. 4. What’s the most difficult apology you’ve ever had to give? .... 5. What’s the worst relationship advice you’ve ever seen? “There is more fish in the sea” Just don’t start. 6. Have you ever volunteered in a hospital? If not, would you ever want to? I have not. I am not against doing it, but it isn’t something I really want to do. I want to do more volunteering so it is possible. 7. What was your worst Halloween costume? Being a white trash can...You can imagine the jokes while being a teenager in high school. 8. Who has/had the worst reputation in your graduating class? I really didn’t know. 9. When was the first time you can remember feeling mature? Owning up to mistakes. 10. Have you ever had a disappointing Christmas, or any disappointing holiday if you don’t celebrate Christmas? Not disappointing but i think either when in a bad place, or there is tension in family. It wasn’t disappointing, but my birthday this year was a little hard, with a lot going on and recent events. 11. Do you have any character bandaids in your house right now, or just plain ones? I thought I bought some recently. A cartoon character I know but I don’t recall who it was.

12. Have you ever had to give a pet away? Yes..3. 13. What’s the junkiest junk food you’ve ever eaten? Potato chips, pizza, and dips. Good stuff though. 14. Did you play pretend a lot as a child? Were there any recurring plots or themes? I did. As a kid my best friend and I would pretend we entered a portal, and entered the forest and she was the fairy princess of the forest. We’d go outside and explore an old barn house she had. :) 15. How do you feel about runny egg yolks? It is interested to look at but I don’t care too much to eat it like that.

16. Has a teacher ever tried to teach you something that was undeniably wrong? Nothing that comes to mind. 17. If for some reason you had to give up one of your hobbies, which would you choose? IF I had to choose, puzzle workbooks but it’s sad to think about DX. 18. Have you ever hidden a relationship from your family? No. 19. How much do you know about first aid? Putting a bandaid on, holding pressure to a wound to stop bleeding, and pinching the bridge of nose to stop bleeding, and a brief idea of making a stilit if you get bit by a snake.. Other stuff. used hydrogen peroxide myself for open cuts and Neosporin. I am CPR certified and heimlich maneuver certified in training. That is all that comes to mind so pretty basic things haha. Nothing doctor or intense stitches and stuff. 20. Which of your relatives do you know the least about? My older cousins and they’re children. I see pictures on Facebook but they live in another state. 21. Have you ever meditated? If so, did it do anything for you? I try and I can’t sit for very long but maybe the breathing did something. 22. Have you ever given advice to someone who was much older than you? Yes. 23. Have you ever used a view-master? Had to look it up and didn’t recognize the name but yeah we had those as kids! 24. Do you ever listen to talk radio or podcasts? If you do, what are some of your favorite shows? I like to listen to Japanese podcasts now and then and some Trash Taste.

25. When was the last time you got ice cream from a truck? It’s been a while haven’t seen many icecream trucks around but maybe a few years ago. 26. Are any of your favorite bands broken up or on hiatus right now? I think some have broken up. 27. Do you know any sex workers? If so, how do they feel about their job? I don’t know any one personally. Are we talking about porn or prostatution? Not my line of work but they’re not necessarily bad people. 28. What’s the biggest art project you’ve ever attempted? How did it go? Nothing big I can think of. 29. What kind of wild animals do you see most frequently where you live? Cows. LOTS of cows. But I like it. I find them cute :). 30. Have you ever cooked anything other than s’mores over a fire? Hot dogs! 31. Are there any items in your house that you use for something other than its intended purpose? Hehe. 32. What do you hope the afterlife is like? I would like to go to Heaven.  33. What’s the worst behavior you’ve ever seen from a child? I think horror stories I’ve read of teen-child killing small kids. :( 34. Have you ever planned an act of revenge? Not like anything serious like killing or hurting. 

Something in water balloon fights or pranks and harmless stuff. 35. Do you and your parents share any of the same hobbies? Yes. Watching Football for one. 36. Do you think it’s more exciting or scary to get older? I think it’s scarier in some ways.  37. How was the reception of the last wedding you attended? A lot of fun!! 38. Do you have any physical photo albums? Ones from elementary that we put together. I gave a physical one to my boyfriend. :) 39. Would you feel comfortable working at a sex shop? Hahaha kind of. I’d go to one and look around but I would be embarrassed if family or like if I left my teaching job and saw someone I knew. I have been to some though. 40. Who was the worst friend you ever had? Not sure. They had annoying points but not the worst. 41. What’s the biggest sacrifice you’ve ever made? I am not sure.. 42. Have you ever campaigned for a political candidate, or otherwise played an active role in an election? No. 43. What’s the coolest hand-me-down you’ve ever gotten? What about the best one you’ve ever given? Dresses and sweaters from my sister. 44. Do your parents and grandparents get along with each other? Yes. When grandparents were a live, they did yes.

[pineyw00dsshesquatch]

I hate garbage nerds so much, yer crybaby nostalgia is why we can't have nice things.

Go too far and you get X-Men '97 which I am TRYING, let me tell you, I just can't stand the stiff ass character animation cuz they were too scared to deviate from the OG cuz too many nerds are GARBAGE. GAWD FORBID these characters emote with their bodies. Standin around stiffly making the voice actors and outfits do all the work is just how it's gotta be I GUESS. What was a charming budgetary stiffness in the OG just makes the characters feel tragically flat in their slick updated format. No matter how much u try to imitate the old show, without the literal scchmutz on the cells from hand fucking paint, that old school stiffness sticks out. They get a lot more mileage and subtely out of the faces than the OG but no shoulders are allowed to move! Rogue delivers all her sass solely from the mouth, body in a single pose.

Gambit has the same GD body mold as Cyclops cuz if Rise taught us anything, DO NOT change bodytypes to fit their personality and character LEST THE NERDS WEEP. What was one of Rise's greatest strengths differentiating the turts was just too blasphemous for baby shithead nostalgia nerds who must have uniform turts like their old toys to tantalize their baby brain. It was only like that for mass production and TV cartoon character designs were certified trash for a few decades for that reason. The bodies must all unilaterally look exactly the fuckin same wasting all opportunity for character design that communicates character so it looks like the old stuff.

I find myself so conflicted cuz I LOVE the x-men so much, and the writing is top notch, but a choice was fuckin made to hinder the character animation thus their storytelling power was gutted out the gate.

I'll just find that X-Men anime till My Adventures With Superman season 2 comes out.

Anyone has the board with the deleted rise episodes at hand? Can't find it