#basically i love my adhd rambling girls

[13eyond13]

Who are people's comfort presences online? I'm always on the lookout for that shit

[puppys-rhythm-heaven]

i am being so fucking autistic about a video game i've only played an hour and a half of and have absorbed like 99% of my information about through osmosis from my bestie(s. it's complicated) and fanfiction. catastrophic levels of autism. i can't stress this in words i don't think y'all understand. or care honestly sdflkjfdskdfsjsfdkj-

[claritys-silly-things]

It’s that time again yall

Headcanons! It’s a long one this time

Emetophobia tw

- (I think I can classify this as modern) Rip sodapop curtis you would’ve loved saying “I’m just a girl 🎀”

- Soda never liked haircuts. When he was a small feral child his long hair would get tangled a lot, but he’s tender headed as FUCK so he would scream and cry when his momma brought the brush out. Darry put sodas hair into braids sometimes just for fun and soda didn’t mind bc it kept his hair from getting tangled, and then it didn’t hurt to brush. He’s always had really soft hair and it grows super fast.

- Jealous little soda asksjks (this was about soda being jealous over pony getting attention as a baby but I don’t wanna edit the original ramble I wrote down)

- When ponyboy was born he just kind of STARED. No crying or anything just 👁️👁️. Even Darry cried when he was born. Soda cried a lot.

- Adding on, Darry and pony were pretty quiet babies. They still cried for food and stuff sometimes but not a lot. Soda was a LOUDDD crier, and a frequent one too. It was the type of crying that sounds like it hurts the baby’s throat cause they’re shrieking their head off. Also soda would cry for, like, the first year of his life if he was ever handed to his dad.

- If Johnny survived the fire and got a wheelchair, he’d be running over people’s feet. Constantly. Just because. Or bc they asked for it. Either way, the moment he gets a hang of that wheelchair it is OVER for yall. And probably before that too.

- Ponyboy gets the same. Goddamn. Thing. At EVERY restaurant. Partly because it scares him to order anything else, partly because he’s picky asf. He makes sure it’s there on the menu and has his order memorized by now. “Chicken tenders, fries, and a Pepsi please.” He’s tried to ask for other things in the past like eggs, cuz he likes those, but the moment they asked him “how would you like them done” he just stared at Darry because he didn’t know what all the different types of eggs were, and now he’s scared bc he’s taking longer, and the server is still there, so he just got sunny side up eggs and they were slimy and he wanted to go home and cry (based on a true story sadly)

- Basically pony has anxiety and probably autism (so me)

- Ponyboy likes avocado. That’s it that’s the headcanon. It’s like one of the only healthy-ish things he’ll eat.

- Soda gets suuuper nauseous really easily, and pony gets carsick on occasion. So the first time pony went to a theme park, his family was scared that he would throw up like soda. They go on a ride and he’s like “yall im fine dawg.” Soda is jealous bc pony can go on rides unaffected (soda will still go on rides anyways, he just throws up afterwards)

- Pony is the most PALE ASS BITCH you’ve ever seen. He burns soo easily. His face gets red really quickly, no matter what’s going on. The only time he gets the slightest bit darker is when he burns and tans. Two-bit has been like “you ain’t white you translucent” multiple times because in the right lighting you can see pony’s veins. It’s even worse because soda and Darry tan so wonderfully, and pony looks like he had an allergic reaction if he doesn’t reapply his sunscreen when he’s supposed to. I feel like Mrs Curtis is the reason for this, she didn’t tan. Mr Curtis did tho.

- Pony has mild (severe) ocd

- Marcia’s last name is smith she is white-Hispanic on one side and Native American on the other thank you for coming to my TED talk

- Marcia is Cuban and Native American

- Marcia’s full name is Marcia smith that’s it that’s the end

It’s funny cuz I listed these things like three times and just forgot about the other two

- Twobit is Brazilian end headcanon

- Mr Curtis had autism and Mrs Curtis had inattentive adhd

- Mr Curtis was half Mexican on his mom’s side and half Irish on his dad’s side. Mrs Curtis was full Italian-American.

- Darrys the typa guy to make pony and soda turn off a show or movie if it talks about possession or like demonic stuff/soul stealing stuff

- (Modern au) Darry will get a text from ponyboy about something, like “can I go in your room rq” and he sees it but doesn’t actually open the text message until later and like, two hours later he’ll just respond “no” and thinks it’s the funniest shit ever

[dollcherray]

HI I SAW YOU WERE PART OF THE SMG4 FANDOM!!! IM SO HAPPI, so I was wondering if you could do a smg3 x gothic reader 😱 if u dont wanna then me understand 😼 U MAKE THE BEST FREAKING FANFICS OR WHATEVER THEIR CALLED😍

୨୧ RUNWAY WALK ✮⋆˙

SMG3 X GOTHIC READER

A/N: Me love you for requesting me thank you for appreciating me writing, me happy because you (pookie) like me (evil adhd) silly writing, me smooch you now. (Also i dont know MUCH about goth subculture so forgive me if i fuck up AURGH)

Type: Romantic, fluff, headcanons.

Warnings: only some mentions of rituals? thats it ig

Song: II Sextile - Visions of You

Playlist: Breakcore fatal frame

✮⋆˙ Code red: He is deeply in love, i repeat he is deeply in love, you have turned him into a total dog for you, YOU BROKE HIM!!! (bonus points if you are taller than him)

✮⋆˙ He really LOVES your style, clothing and makeup, ESPECIALLY your makeup, but if its before you two date he didnt admit it so he did some kind of teasing because this man was too embarrassed to tell you that he finds your "style" attractive, so instead of owning up to it he would call you "edgelord".

✮⋆˙ I think he would have complimented you without you knowing before you guys got into dating, like you know those scenes in enemies to lovers films where one of the enemies goes "you look pretty" and the other asks "huh?" and the one that said the compliment would go "i said you look shitty!"? that was you two.

✮⋆˙ I think he would be a bit of a grandpa sometimes, dont get me wrong, he knows what goth is but sometimes he may ask some questions out of pure curiosity, like: "So... do u do rituals?" and stuff, basically thinking you are into witch craft (and he will be extra convinced if you are a Victorian goth)

✮⋆˙ Ok, when you two started dating he would be ALL OVER YOU, complimenting your outfit, makeup, hair and whatever you have on, he's just head over heels on your subculture, he finds it so pretty.

✮⋆˙ I think he would be a bit flabbergasted when he first saw you without your goth makeup and fit, like he would find it a little strange when you are just wearing non-goth comfy clothes, because he got too used to you with your goth fits.

✮⋆˙ Teach him about gothic music, dances and etc and he will be 100% invested, like he would just be kicking his feet like a teenage girl while you ramble about the goth culture and its story, he really likes it.

✮⋆˙ Would probably secretly try to listen to your favorite bands, just so he could talk about them to you and he would probably like it tbh, i can see him liking those type of music tbh.

✮⋆˙ Offer him a makeover and he will just accept, say no less, like you could just text him about the makeover, he could be on the other side of the world and he would just pop into your house and be like "lets go." (OMG GOTH SMG3 AKJEKWNEKSJDJRB)

✮⋆˙ One time he tried doing his own goth makeup to surprise you but it looked like he melt grease on his face and a bird shitted all over his face, it looked pretty funny but you found it very sweet.

✮⋆˙ If someone say something about your way to dress he would either just let you stand up for yourself or he would just straight up bully the person saying that they are just mad you are way cooler and prettier than them and that they wish to be so talented like you to do your makeup.

✮⋆˙ If you are or get a bit insecure to go dressed in goth in public, he would reassure you are pretty no matter what you are wearing, that you look stunning in black/red and any other color and that if someone dared to open their mouth about you he would kick their ass for you.

✮⋆˙ He just loves you no matter what <3

✮⋆˙ "Yo, look at my partner, arent they cool?"

[worldsbiggestnerd101]

intro post!!

hi there! my name’s emmy, welcome to my blog! i’ve been here for a good while now but since i’ve started to gain more attention, i figured it was time to make an intro post!

basic info:

name(s): em/emmy/emeline, angie/angel (no preference)

age: minor (NO NSFW BULLSHIT PLEASE)

birthday: january 4 :D

orientation/sexuality: bisexual (femme/wlw leaning)

gender: cis girl

pronouns: she/her (they/them is ok but not preferred)

nationality: born and raised in the US of A (new york babyyyyyyy), but my parents are guyanese, so i’d say guyanese american

race: mixed, my mom has light skin (she gets mistaken as hispanic a lot) and my dad has medium brown skin so i’m somewhere in the middle (i too get mistaken for hispanic a lot)

other info: i’m neurodivergent, possibly autism or adhd (or both) but i was a “gifted” kid if that counts for anything, oh and i have anxiety

fandoms:

this a multifandom blog, so while i do have my phases/eras/hyperfixations, i will be posting about multiple fandoms at once, even if one’s taking up more posts than the others combined.

here are some of my mains!

roblox piggy

murder drones

hazbin hotel + helluva boss

gravity falls

ride the cyclone

welcome home

it’s easiest to tell what my current main hyperfixation is by just looking at my pfp/blog theme, as i’ll usually set it to something related to my current biggest hyperfix. i’ll update this list as needed, but i’m also active in the percy jackson, american girl, and stranger things fandoms. i’m also into a lot of cartoons, like she-ra and the princesses of power, steven universe, the owl house, carmen sandiego, mlp gen 4, etc. so feel free to ask about those! i’m also a major theater kid, some of my favorite shows are hamilton, dear evan hansen, wicked, mean girls, beetlejuice, and six, so you can ask about any of those too! (i’ve only seen wicked and hamilton 😭)

links

ok so all my links to other posts or blogs or accounts or anything really are here!!

youtube: here!!

hazbin hotel high school au masterpost: here!!

discord server bullshittery masterpost: here >:3

tags

#em rambles - original post tag

#asks - any and all asks i get!!

#mutuals - any asks from/posts about my mutuals will be tagged with this, and it's like a guarantee that you'll get your own name tag too!!

#anon - if you send me an anon ask, just look here to find it :D

#emmy’s edits - all my original edits!! they’re up on my youtube too but you can find them here under that tag

#hazbin high school au - my own au!! i made this by myself with a few ideas from friends but this is like my own creation that i'm working on!!

EDIT: AS OF 07/06/2024, ANYTHING RELATING TO HELLUVA BOSS S2E9 APOLOGY TOUR WILL NOT BE TAGGED AS SPOILERS. IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE EPISODE I ADVISE AGAINST SCROLLING.

edit: as of 07/16/2024 i have a girlfriend!! her name is hannie, aka the wonderful amazing absolutely adorable @furryrainbowscreature i love her so much <333

dni:

homophobes, transphobes

supporters of israel

queer exclusionists (anti "conflicting" labels, terfs, etc)

racists

blogs with heavy amounts of nsfw content (i’m a teenager so. please.)

sexists/misogynists

pedos/“maps”

so yeah i think that’s about it!! thanks for reading y'all <3

also: FREE PALESTINE 🇵🇸

[sunbearsophia]

Sorry again for how few and far in-between my Tumblr posts are, guys! I'll try and be more frequent with them!

It hit me a while back that for all I talk about my Next-Gen on Twitter, I hardly ever talk about my fan kids here on Tumblr! So, I decided to throw together a ref sheet for my main girl, Emmy, to get started on that and introduce her to y'all!

---

Her full name is Emilia Luna-Ophelia Barrabas-Darling, but almost everyone calls her Emmy for short. She was named after her late grandmother on Eduardo's side, although Laurel was actually the one who suggested it when she was born. (Eduardo absolutely cried when she suggested it, not that he wasn't already sobbing lol.) Her middle names were each chosen by one of her parents. (Luna for Eduardo, Ophelia for Laurel bc her mummy's a Shakespeare geek and we love her for it aaaaa.)

Probably 21 in the reference, definitely college-aged!

Working in retail currently to pay the bills, but saving up to attend art school when she gets the chance, wants to work as a background artist in animation.

Is generally a really friendly and outgoing person, extremely open with her personality, interests and affection, much like her mom. KNOWN for her hugs that could throw out someone's back, just generally really kind and chill, basically a big ol' puppy lady. She's also pretty stubborn and abrasive, however, and does have a temper on her, however. Aside from just generally getting grumpy when she's tired, exhausted or frustrated, she is just as willing to throw some HANDS when someone's pissed er off, just like her old man.

A pretty artsy-fartsy kinda gal, but not so much a snob about art, more like she'll happily ramble about art techniques and history when the subject is brought up. Also has a love for dancing, sports and Shakespeare.

Is extremely close with her family, she adores her Mummy Laurel and is a MASSIVE Daddy's Girl for Eduardo, she never misses the chance to see and spend time with them, and always wants to make them proud. (Her dad was her inspiration to start drawing when she was little, and always thinks of Eduardo and Laurel both as her heroes.) Also loves her little brother Leonardo, and is very protective of him, mess with him you mess with HER. >:(

Also loves her Uncle Mark and Uncle Jon with all her heart, they basically were third and fourth parents to her ever since she was a baby and she knows she can always go to them for anything. Very close to her other uncles, too, but out of all of them, she's closest to Jon and Mark. Also loves her Grandmado, and misses her terribly as an adult.

Has ADHD and dyslexia, so she often uses word processors and audio books to help with the latter and tends to plan and schedule her days in advance and stick heavily with routines to avoid losing focus with the former. Still has her struggles but knows she's supported and loved by those around her and is too stubborn to let them win.

Loves avocados, just like her dad. It was one of her first words, and to this day, her and her dad have a designated day all for eating avocados all throughout. (HC BY THE AWESOME @tamaraskabr ITS SO WHOLESOME I LOVE IT QwQ) Other than that, she loves basically anything mint chocolate, she's a simple woman lol.

---

All the tidbits I've got for now! Plan to follow up the post with some sketches of her other outfits I've worked on! For now, hope this gives some insight on who she is so I can share more art of her on here with context!

she's my goober daughter and i love her sm lol

[onelastskip]

Just out of curiosity, how many MCs did you make for Keyframes? Can you tell us a bit about them? I'm interested to know :D

OMGGG HAIII!!!

Technicallyyy 4? I played through the game on all seasons but my other MCs aren't as fleshed out (and I haven't drawn them...) — but I'll talk about what I have anyway!

So obviously Chi was my first baby girl, autumn, romancing Percy straight away, I yap about her a lot already but here's a fun fact I haven't mentioned yet, her full name is Chi Huệ Aubade, very cool!

My next mc was Mika (she's sort recycled from olba, sorta not because I hate the idea of being unfaithful to cove, idk if that makes sense just the way my brain works) she's a summer and... well I was supposed to romance Elio... but then the Percy summer meeting hit me like a truck and I went for him again... now she probably won't get fleshed out but I'm thinking of doing a male mc elio summer run (for real this time, no percy shenanigans)

And then I have my spring mc, Nari, and- I will admit I was very close to reromancing Percy but no! they are a Jamie romance (slowwburn tho) cause I found the cupcake confrontation was so good with a spring personality. So they're uh, well to describe them, in a word, they're self-assured (technically two but semantics). They're extremely competent and they know it, they have a big ego and tend to be overconfident, brash and competitive. Andd they also have a crippling fear of emotional connection and an avoidant attachment style. love my little guys who are so smart yet so very stupid. Anyway their dynamic with Jamie is sort of teasing? They were expecting to be annoyed by him bcos of his reputation but they ended up liking him more than they thought. They have a sort of "people disappoint me" expectation, a lot of the friends and relationships they've had in the past were shallow (not for lack of trying? but nari really didn't put any effort in) they only really mesh with deja and cam and don't even try to form deeper relationships with others, the boys are the first friends they've made in a while, and their first time besides with cam and deja actually trying to connect with people. They're an ISTJ and fun fact about them theyyy are very good at chess.

And lastly my winter mc, Yumi (name pending.) they're my no romance route (or slowburn? it depends how it plays out I guess). They're... to describe them in one word. Chill (lol). They're an artist turned law student and they are very go with the flow. They are also doing a minor of sociology! They stopped painting in their last year of highschool because they were told they needed to start taking things seriously (they had pretty bad-average grades before). While they're generally patient and relaxed, when they do get angry, they are no holds barred, cussing out authority figures, not a single thought in that brain, they get very passionate when they're being confrontational. They're an INTP and fun fact about them they know how to skateboard.

WAIIIIT- I'M GONNA USE THIS ASK TO YAP ABOUT THE ENNEAGRAM (sorry anon my attention span is kinda fucked, ADHD ramble incoming)

Okay I've mentioned before Chi's a 2w3, little lore drop, she's got family issues (eldest daughter in an asian family /hj) but yeah there's a lot of pressure from that direction, that's part why she's doing a law degree (polisci? I forget how it is in america), she was rushed into picking a degree and just went with what she was best at. Anyway I should probably explain the enneagram oops, OKAY, so she has a type 2 fixation, which basically means, she's got a gaping hole where her self esteem is and she tries to patch that up by creating relationships (people pleaser...), that's why she tries to be as helpful as possible all the time, she's got a deep seated fear of abandonment and feels like she can only be loved if she's providing some sort of support (usually as an emotional dumping ground) to the other person.

Buttt, thankfully when she got to college she met Deja and Cam, who did NOT fuck with that kinda behaviour so she's slowly getting better, I imagine over the course of her time at college she gets better at loving herself and sets boundaries with her parents, fixes the relationship (the other drama is she has younger siblings who are still with them and yeah) idk I just like writing character arcs like this it helps me understand my ocs better I think

onto my other mcsss:

uhh Mika's a 7w8, but I'm gonna skip her since she'll probably get reworked into something else anywayyy

so Nari has a type 5 fixation, their whole deal is they need to feel competent, need to feel like they understand the world around them because it's a scary place and if something doesn't fit in with the way they understand things that means they understand nothing. Anyway, their little character arc would actually be centred on the relationship, it's a story about them accepting emotional vulnerability, letting down their walls, losing their rigid world view, and choosing to trust in another person and fall in love :3

Yumi (name pending) has a type 9 fixation, their problem is... well basically, on the surface, they're confident, calm, collected, composed (heh alliteration), they really seem like they've got it all together but internally they've resigned themself to being another cog in the machine. They've lost their passion in life and they're stuck in the pit of "it is what it is". Their character arc would probably involve them dropping out of college and pursuing something they actually care about, that being art.

[lionmythflower]

Headcannons. Alastair and Chase Redford.

Please.

ily rhakdbakdnw ty for the ask :D

Ok ok

Let's do this (this is based of the show plot line bc I can't remember the book plot line and I don't even think Alistair and chase were in the books)

Pausing my music for this

Ok so first how Alistair came to wonderland for a bit of background info

Heard sm1 say that smth bad was happening where he lived and his mother told him to follow a white bunny cuz she was the Alice before him

And blah blah blah he goes to wonderland and such but then he doesn't go back to where he came from bc of whatever bad is happening

I hc that he was from like our world so there's no magic from there

and he meets everyone in wonderland and becomes friends w Kitty, Maddie,Lizzie, bunny and chase

And probably at some point Alistair realizes he has feels for chase and most likely goes to Maddie to talk abt it

And Maddie is completely normal abt it cuz shit like this is normal in wonderland

but anyways when chase realizes he likes Alistair he goes to Lizzie and Lizzie is js like bro idk js ask him out?

Lmao so he does and Alistair is like gnskfbskfbns

And then they date

and they'll probably like middle school age when they start dating

(Bunny is js casually in a qpr w the rest of their wonderlandian friends (Lizzie, Maddie and Kitty))

And THEN

The land gets cursed by miss evil queen aka raven's mom lol

And the mad hatter, Lizzie , Maddie and Kitty escape

But bunny Alistair and chase don't

And the three of them basically js form a very close friendship (besides Alistair and chase) and help each other deal w their friends being gone

Alistair mostly comforts bunny when she's sad abt not being w her partners

And chase and Alistair help eachother get through it

And one day a few years later

bunny and Alistair are being the sillys that they are and exploring Wonderland for the 5th time that week

And they find the story book of legends and such, blah blah y'all know what happened w that and the Cheshire cat kitty's mom

And cue them trying to figure out ever after high bc this place is so weird

And people hitting on both Alistair and bunny and their oblivious asses js not noticing 😭😭

Anyways everyone thinks they're a couple bc even tho everyone in wonderland acts like that w their friends it's not normal in ever after

But bunny gets reunited w her partners:D

And now Alistair is separated from his

And they're co-dependant on eachother so neither of them take it well

I'm sorry ( no I'm not) but Alistair would 100% go off on headmaster grimm for being rude to him or any of his friends

Alistair is just going of at grimm with a bunch of wonderland cusses and our world cusses (lmao this is the real reason why grimm doesn't like Alistair)

But anyways

Alistair seeing darling and being like oh hi darling! 🥰 bc darling has 100% caught Alistair almost getting killed by some of the cards and helped him out lol

Anyways the rumors that bunny and Alistair are dating went away when Alistair mentioned his boyfriend and Maddie kissed bunny in the cafeteria lol

But then imagine w the wonderland episodes

They would probably go differently lol

w/ chase helping the girls bc that's his bsfs

alistair would be so happy to see chase again when raven broke the curse on wonderland

But anyways

They all lived happily ever after

Anyways

Alistair is a very fidgety person and also has anxiety and ADHD (and panic attacks)

And chase has sensory overloads and anxiety attacks (he has autism and anxiety)

(Cuz I said so got both of the last two bullets)

Alistair gives asexual vibes and probably js gay

And chase give demiromantic and maybe bi??? Idk

Chase is indecisive as fuck and Alistair is impulsive as fuck

They balance eachother out

Alistair rambles so much

And he doesn't think most of his friends listen

But then Chase will remember smth he said in a ramble a whil ago and alistair is ill js be like :D

Chase calls Alistair, Ali and he says he hates the nickname but he secretly loves it

Alistair is lalalala and chase is okokokok

Alistair gets sick so easily it's not even funny anymore

Chase takes care of him when he's sick

Alistair is the friend that has a bag w literally anything and everything in it

(Lizzie made it and Maddie somehow made it like her hat where you can take anything out of it)

Alistair is an introvert that acts like an extrovert and then he goes and hangs out w chase and is silent for like 3 hours as he recharges w his bf

They take naps together:) <3

Alistair steals chase's clothes bc chase is taller so they're rlly baggy on him and he likes that lol

Chase more often than not has earbuds or headphones on to block out noise

chase is the kind of person that you'd think would be rlly scary and then you see him curled up on a couch with Alistair and it's js like oh!

Also the kind of person that everyone things is homophobic and then it turns out he has a boyfriend

Alistair makes playlists for all his friends and has made so so many for chase lol

Alistair gives trans vibes tbh like ftm yk?

idk what chase is but there's no way he's cis

Alr that's all I can think of

[autisticempathydaemon]

Ohmygod I love matchups

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

Too sweet by Hozier ofc ofcm I looove Hozier and the way he sings about relationships 😭 Im like not fixated on a specific lyric, I'm fixated on the wedding bells in the background of the chorus

What is your Enneagram type?

Okay it has been a FUCKTON of time since I looked at that stuff but iirc it was 2? Me being an infp is literally the only thing I can consistently remember bc ADHD brain

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

YESS I listen to them whenever I'm playing Sims or working on something. Any of Jenny Nicholson or Li Speaks’ videos are common for that Nostalgic Essay Stuff. SPECIFICALLY Jenny Nicholson’s jeff the killer fanfiction book video because I OWNED THAT BOOK. I WROTE CREEPYPASTA FANFICTION AND I OWNED THAT BOOK

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

I did not have one and I pretended to because everyone else did and I felt weird for not having one

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

Imagining being loved and cared for 😭 or whumpy fanfiction scenarios no in-between. But they usually overlap

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

I named myself after a character cause I relate ofc but I also named myself echo because it was another birth name in consideration for me and it feels like… whimsical

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

ITS STILL “FLIRTY VAMPIRE LOSES CONTROL” BECAUSE IM OBSESSED WITH SCENES WHERE THE HUMAN PARTNER OF A “MONSTER” CHARACTER IS DIRECTLY CONFRONTED WITH THEIR MONSTROUS TRAITS AND LOVES THEM ANYWAY.

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

Gavin </3 I am simply not a sexual person and it puts me off a bit lol

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

This spectacular show called dramaworld about a girl whos obsessed with kdramas and gets sucked into the world of them, but not in a “the events are real” way, in a “the entire world is a setup for the same characters to go through various plots, forgetting and falling in love over and over again” and it's hilarious and it's such a comfort show even though I can't watch it anywhere anymore I don't think. The main romance is top tier. It's so funny. And the stakes and plot twists are actually pretty good

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

Probably Sam? I want him to be my dad. I have issues.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

Apparently when I'm half asleep I start talking about horses? But when I'm still conscious, I mostly talk about like. Vampires mostly.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

doritos dinamita and mountain dew yes I am basic

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

I don't have favorite playlists so much as I play 4-6 songs over and over on repeat until I'm sick of them. Currently, those songs are too sweet by Hozier, no more birthdays by sophie may, and Every Chappelle Roan Song.

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

I love bad romance novels the more ridiculous and bad, the better. kresley cole's immortals after dark are fun to make fun of (no. Hate if you like them)

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!

Uhhh my favorite form of interaction is parallel play. irl or digital, in a digital sense it means “we're liveblogging two separate things we're doing at the same time” lmao

- Asher-Echo/vampire-bite

Ooh, there’s a lot of good info to consider here. Initially, it was hard because I find Type Two’s easily compatible with most of the Redacted bois, but what said about “not being a sexual person” made it easy to choose Ollie for you.

Because he has never and will never get a BA, I love to headcanon Ollie as either asexual, low-libido, or both, so that’s one reason I think he’d be a good match for you. I also love that y’all would like so many of the same things like open-world games, bad/silly romance novels, and spending time with one another without the pressure to actively interact or engage with each other. (Also creepypastas. I love to headcanon Ollie as a horror, creepypasta fiend, given he grew up on the internet around when Jeff the Killer came to be.)

Every day with Ollie would be so comfortable and domestic, so sweet. Like, on a long weekend like this one if you’re American, I can see y’all spending it at home, a little staycation. He’d be in the other room or one end of the couch reading, and you’d be on the other reading one of your romance novels. Cattywumpus would be on your lap, because you’re his favorite. Your music is playing in the background, and you both stop what you’re doing to dance to “Hot to Go!”, because Ollie would totes love Chappell Roan.

Song:

Spillin' wine and homemade drinks/ We throw a cheers, the worries sink/ Damnit, it's so good to be alive/ We know that we don't got much/ But, then again, it's just enough/ To always find a way for a good time

Ollie strikes me as the type of guy who loves simple, feel-good, folk-esque music, someone being honest and emotional with a guitar. That’s one reason I like this song for y’all and can imagine it shuffled with yours as y’all hang out. The other is that this love song is sweet, catchy, simple just like Ollie~

Runner-ups:

Your love of the Sims and cheesy paranormal romance novels compels me to give you Elliott as a runner-up, because he could bring the things you read and create to life in your dreams, and that’d be so fun! In contrast, your Enneagram type and identifying yourself as nonsexual makes me want to pair you with Cam who gives me an asexual, easily affectionate vibe.

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[swallow17]

I miss when we actually loved to read.

It's a strange feeling, y'know. Maybe it's because I'm getting old and I'm starting to think that everything was much better in the old days, but I really feel as if this was better back then. In the good ol' days.

I was never one of the pretty girls. Don't get me wrong, I was pretty; I've always been pretty, probably in the same way that you are. But my complexion was kinda dark for the nineties the earty 2000s, and also, my personality was freaking weird. Gifted, they'd say, but also with the spicy ADHD that made me annoying. Talkative but pedantic, interested in things that were… well, I never loved dolls and makeup. I loved fantasy and fairy tales, SciFi and space operas, talking about adventures with the boys. So I was never one of the pretty girls.

I was one of the geek ones, I'm afraid. Being raised in a small town in Spain, the fact that I preferred to spend my hours reading and drawing didn't sit well with my classmates, who thought I believed myself to be "better than them". Maybe a small part of me did it, 'cause I was a girl then and a teenager years later, and those tend to be a little self-centered. I was almost completely alone, but I really didn't mind. I had a friend who loved comics and was kind enough to let me talk about books non-stop, and I had another one who was a nerd and was always happy to remind me that I actually needed to do my homework. They didn't really talk to each other, so I was basically alone with one, or alone with the other, or alone. And it was fine by me, even though sometimes I missed having someone who loved the things I loved. And when the internet entered in our lives, I discovered I wasn't the only geek girl around.

Are you old enough to remember the early 2010s? The golden era of the fandoms. I discovered then that there were more geek girls who'd actually love to talk about books non-stop; people who'd answer my comments and questions and crazy theories, not just let me ramble. People who'd write fan fictions and read mine. People who'd theorize about Tyrion being Aerys' child, who'd write an entire fan fiction about Tywin and Joanna - I lost that one and I'd really, really love to find it again. People who would love to talk about Katniss' decision, who would side with Gale or Peeta. I even read Twilight and wrote some passionate defences of Jacob being the actual good one for Bella. A friend of mine got the mockingjay tattoed. Yeah, of course, some of those books were "just for girls" and girls were shamed for loving them; some of them were "elevated" and men loved them too, so girls were allowed to talk about them without being labelled as "annoying" of "hysterical".

The thing is that those lasted for ages. Each book we read was there for many months, years even, and it was a sort of collective experience. We were writing about them on blogs, on forums. And we were doing it together. I even took part in an online role game that consisted on writing chunks of text, in the form of a fan fiction, about our OCs in the Hunger Games universe. It was about the books. It was about the characters, about the ideas. And the mark those left in my generation was kind of… permanent, I guess. But then, for some reason, it all vanished. And it didn't give way to something better.

I hate going on booktok. Or bookstagram. Or booktube. Or booktwt - is that a thing still? I always feel as if I'm far, far behind. Books appear in 30 seconds videos and they're the best freaking thing ever, and then they disappear. All of them are the best, but they never stay for more than a month. There's always a new release, a new and shiny special edition that we need to buy. Fandoms shift so quickly I never have the chance to talk about the story I just loved. I don't even feel that there's a fandom anymore; there is this new influencer who wants the crown for discovering this new saga. It's their saga, y'know; and no one else can't talk about them, 'cause they discovered it. It's not collective anymore; we're not together talking about books, but following that bookfluencer who'll try to make us feel the need to buy more books, so the big publisher will send them more free books.

And the stories fall into the void.

Do you remember the Grishaverse, when it started? I thought it'd bring back the fandom era, that we would be heartrenders, tidemakers and alkemis, as we once were Ravenclaws, tributes, demigods or Martells. But it didn't happen - though I have to admit that the fanarts are pretty impressive. Then the Netflix series came and I felt hopeful again. I felt the same with the House of the Dragon series. But it didn't happen. The marketing teams tried to make us pick a side and most people did, but it feels more as if they're rooting for their football team and less as if they're loving a series based on a great book.

I don't know. Maybe the thing is that I'm old now, that I've to work eternal hours and that I don't find the time to read anymore, so I can't follow the pace of the rest of the world. But when I see those amazing fanarts of Meleys and Moondancer, when I see them swallowed by the algorithm, falling into the void… I can't help but think that the old days were, in fact, the good ol' days. Those days when a book came to stay. Those days when we were readers and not consumers, when we were talking about the things we loved, and not following the next trend.

I really don't want more special editions. I really don't want the next best seller. The next Tolkien. I don't want any of that.

I just want to find the feeling I had when I was fourteen and talking non-stop about books with people who'd talk me back.

Those days seem something from a book right now.

And I really want to go back there.

[softerpixels]

📩 Simblr question of the day: A non-sims simblr question/s! Besides Sims, what other games do you play and what platforms do you like to play on? (PC, Console, Mobile...) What would genre/s do you tend to lean towards? (FPS, Sandbox, Multiplayer, Simulation, etc.) Bonus! If a game has character customization, do you like to make a completely new character everytime or do you like to use the same OC/Sim? Feel free to ramble, especially if you really enjoy a game (❁´◡`❁)

answer in whatever way is most comfortable for you and feel free to share this SQOTD around, make sure to use the hashtag SQOTD and tag me in separate posts ~ 💛

ooh yay my first sqotd! i play other games on PC, my switch lite, and i have mobile puzzle games for when my adhd is going brrrrrr.

on PC i have stardew valley but i have yet to return to it after being humbled initially. and then on my switch i have life is strange, life is strange before the storm, disney dreamlight valley, and unpacking. i will play literally anything labeled cozy and i really love to take my time playing story games. i usually make some version of the same character whenever i have basic character customization tbh. it's usually a black girl with colored hair lol. every once in a while like in stardew valley tho i make up a whole oc with a backstory.

[jasper-dracona]

I was playing BG3 yesterday and I had been kinda picking who I brought with me based on team-comp stuff. I don’t actually like Shadowheart very much but she’s the only healer I’ve got right now so she stays. And he may be kinda basic, especially for a fuckin wizard, but I do like Gale a lot so he stays. I had Wyll for a while but I had to switch him out for Lae’zel as my fourth cause I needed a heavier hitter. I’m playing a sorcerer so between Gale, Shadowheart and me we had enough casters about.

But then I met Karlach, and I thought “wait, she’s a barbarian right? Maybe I should try her out instead of Lae’zel.”

And omg I love her

The way she’s constantly bouncing her heals and shaking herself out like fighters do between rounds in martial arts and boxing and stuff, the fact she calls you soldier, I LOVE her voice, and she’s such a sweetie too so far.

Also like, the fact that she’s always sorta bouncing and fidgeting like that, that she’s kinda running on overdrive due to her heart, that she has to be careful with her emotions because they can be a bit extreme and cause her to flare up, and that when I asked her about how best to kill devils she rambled a little and then started talking about demons too and then went “wait what were we talking about?”, she’s soooooo ADHD-coded.

So anyway favourite Baldur’s Gate 3 character (so far) found.

❤️‍🔥 Karlach my girl ❤️‍🔥

[bongwooder]

idk I guess I could make an official post about it since I've been basically regressing to 12 year old me anyways and she LOVED to overshare on this godforsaken website

click more for ramblings if ur curious! definitely interested in hearing others perspectives since I am very socially isolated rn compared to most people I guess

ever since my ADHD diagnosis and possible autism diagnosis I've just been thinking a LOT about my life including my gender and sexuality. like, ever since my parent's divorce in 2022 I've been unravelling a lot of trauma I didn't even know I had, including how my roommate has helped me realize truly how emotionally neglected I was a child. it is NOT normal for a child to be online essentially 24/7 from ages 8-18. I think I really did some serious damage because my parents were too fucked to bother to check on me and make sure I like... went outside. had friends. showered. basic hygiene etc etc etc and of course I didn't know any better because uuuhhh children need to be TAUGHT things not just yelled at to do it or made fun of for their unknown disability. and I've been going through points of time where I'm MAD. like, PISSED. that my parents let me do that to myself. a little insecure neurodivergent girl searching, yearning, begging for ANYTHING to explain her inability to cope with reality and sensory overload, to socialize and make friends at school, to feel like her life had meaning and that what was not known at the time to be symptoms of her disability weren't just personal failures

so, of course, I feel like the moment I realized I may have a group that would actually accept me as I was, I latched onto it. and that was my beginning identifying as transgender. I've said this before to irl friends, but my thoughts at the time were "well I'm a completely well adjusted intelligent person [child], but I can't seem to get along with my female peers, so I must be a male actually!" but then like... idk why I always failed to realize the boys didn't like me either?? so it's not "girls don't like me because I'm too masculine and boys don't like me because I'm too feminine" it was actually just "no one likes me because I'm autistic"

and it's strange because I feel like the physical dysphoria felt VERY real, hating my chest and my genitals, but also like... I went through puberty kinda early and also bc I was fat I "had" to wear a bra VERY early. so I think I was resenting the sexualization of my body and coping with the fact that boys paid me 0 mind in any sort of dating context when that became relevant. So I think my dysphoria was actually more like dysmorphia?

and I think I only ever "hated pink and girly things" because I so desperately wanted attention from ANYONE, for SOMEONE to ask me what's wrong or why I thought that way, for someone to tell me it's okay to be a girl even though I'm fat and autistic. and it just never happened. and I grieve for that little girl who never felt like she could express herself in fear of what people would think bc she truly had no positive adult figures in her life. and I can't help but feel deep anger for the teachers around me who didn't realize just how deep the damage was, or if they did and told my parents and THEY chose to do nothing, I feel deep anger with them.

I thought maybe if I could just be a boy I didn't have to worry that much about being attractive to boys or being skinny or being pretty. then I could just be myself! and I think that did serve a purpose for its time.

I don't regret identifying as trans or any social transitioning I have already done. I love being Ollie, although I do wonder if another name may suit me better in these times. I know I'll always have an unconventional self expression but I just wonder what it would be like to be an independent adult woman because I've never been that, and I've never had adult women friends that have reached a level of platonic intimacy with me where I can discuss this and explore it with someone who has always lived as a woman! i yearn to decorate my body and dress myself in ways that reveal the the body I am proud to have carry me day by day no matter how large. I yearn to sink into softness and receive love, I don't want to fight for reciprocation. I don't want to be codependent but I just want to feel taken care of for once in my life instead of feeling like I'm crawling and clawing my way through life not knowing where the hell I'm going. I don't even know what womanhood/femininity MEANS but I want to try it! I think I'd enjoy it! do I have permission to try it? am I allowed to enjoy it? I hate that I need to be "brave" and "resilient" just to exist in my fucking body and brain. I resent the poisoned masses for resenting me but I know I know kindness and i know I am beautiful and I know I can provide happiness for others, I'm just also ready to be provided for too from a woman just as strong and beautiful and intelligent and kind and funny

I think I skated my point a little bit but even after saying all this, I don't know if I'll ever feel "cis." i think my life played out how it needed to for me to get here and now. my biggest fear is "coming out as cis" and having everyone who ever doubted my transness or invalidated me (including my own family) tell me "I told you it was a phase" because YEAH, MAYBE IT WAS. but at least I've been actively trying to listen to my body and brain to build the life I think will make me happiest in the context of my consciousness. and I just want to surround myself with people who trust me and know I'm smart and know this is something I think about deeply before projecting

all this to say I have a lot of work to do, and I'm excited to do it, cis or trans

[aerospectrum]

Unsure if I sent a response back sorry adhd brain is bad sometimes LOL but it’s been lovely talking to you too! I don’t have anyone to talk about the show with besides my mom who watches it with me but I still have Yellowstone brainrot. Again I’m a Beth girlie but it’s nice to talk to others in the fandom and discuss. I think the show is great because they’re all such victims of each other and the family dynamics are just horrifically toxic. Every relationship John has with his children is abusive and volatile in some degree. Branding Kayce because he disobeyed him. Pushing and punishing Jamie because he’s not who he wants him to be, sending him away to college when that’s not what he wanted. Beth is extremely loyal to him to her own detriment because I personally feel like she’s trying to make up for killing her mother and taking his wife away from him, but no matter how much she tries she won’t ever make that up in John’s eyes. Anyways, you have a good one 💕

Aaaahhh I have so many thoughts also the adhd brain is a mood for sure my dude! sorry it took me forever to get to this! I’ll put my stuff under a cut again only because I tend to ramble and I gotta save the dash sanity for others lol

ok first I wanna go back to Beth lmfao. god she has such depth to her and I feel like we’ve been cheated by T.Sher so badly. Her trauma is unreal and so unprocessed and so unexplored and it’s not faaaair. When it’s Christmas and she is terrified of what’s happening to her??? puberty and she’s terrified, my poor child, I felt so sad that that was such a scary moment for her and then she was already in pain too and her mom was just like “now I have to make sure you’ll survive this man’s mans world and make you ultra haaaard” that made me so sad because I feel like she already was trying so hard to survive as a child. then the flashback to her mothers death. Genuinely I still feel so much rage over it. She was clearly uncomfortable and did not want to be on this big animal that she wasn’t comfortable controlling and unsure of being on and her mom just idk completely disregarded her and basically told her “you’re shit outta luck man up” like girl what??? Your young daughter is feeling very unsafe on a dangerous animal, I get pushing your kids to face their fears but like why did it have to be a joke to East Jesus nowhere??? Then ITS NOT EVEN BETH’S FAULT, Evelyn’s horse spooks(it’s not even looking at Beth, Beth does nothing wrong and nothing at all to affect her horse) but yeah it spooks it’s fucking self and obviously crushes her but Beth is already weeping and scared and blaming herself and Kayce is so intune with the needs of everyone so he pleads for her to let him go get John and she LOCKS EYES WITH BETH AND BLAMES HER!!! straight up is like nah Beth’s the reason my horse spooked it’s her fault my horse crushed me she made this mistake being a completely normal scared child she has to fix this mistake

Beth didn’t even hardly know the way back her horse bucks her off, she gets hurt she runs back she’s already internalizing the grief of this unfair blame she’s saddled with and then what happens???? JOHN YELLS AT HEEEEER. crying screaming throwing up dyyyyying. home girl literally got blamed by her mom for killing her and then he dad yells at her for crying and being hurt and scared oh my gosh I’m so mad lmao. Um…. but yeah. Beth clearly struggled with anxiety and security at a young age and I think she wanted to make her mother proud and prove she was hard enough to survive “with the boys” so she could survive her own survivors guilt that Evelyn forced her to experience maybe???

also yeah!!! I do think John blamed Beth for his wife’s death and she’s desperate to make up for it but also resents John for moving on with any other woman because I think he made sure she felt she was responsible for Evelyn’s death and his unhappiness afterwards— maybe somehow that ties into like her resentment of what Jamie did to her too? Like maybe it triggers this massive guilt in her where she subconsciously thinks well fuck I stole my fathers happiness so my brother stole mine??? God idk what even is meta? Probably not this lol.

not me writing a novel on Beth’s childhood… but then a few years pass and she asks Jamie for help and yeah he fucks it up because well idk part of me does feel it was lazy writing on Tshers behalf again, because they had to be teens in the 90s and sterilization on Rez’s stopped in the 70’s I’m pretty sure idk still. But also like I just think with the fear of failing and the deep rooted trauma of “inate otherness” that Jamie clearly carried around from a young age I just don’t genuinely feel like it was in his character to allow Beth to suffer like that. He would’ve spoken up or argued with her about how he wouldn’t let her go in that clinic. They would’ve fought like shit but he would’ve convinced her that John finding out was better than being cheated out of motherhood and idk Beth and Jamie are just so goddamn conniving (in a good way) that they would’ve saved Rip from John’s wrath.

John’s undying love for the land and his egos unquenchable thirst for false pride and accolades is definitely his downfall as a father in my mind. They definitely are all victims of one another’s traumas and John’s refusal to acknowledge he’s the creator or root/epicenter of it all. All the siblings deserve so much better and I’ll never forgive the writing for completely wiping Lee out of the story too!!!

I also think about how if this is along the storyline that the Rez is still sterilizing women then John was completely ok with Kayce forcing that torture and agony on Monica if it meant protecting the pride of his ranch. But suddenly he’s upset Jamie took Beth there, like is he blind to his own double standards? Fuck but I love johns depth too. They’re all so weirdly complex and i end up thinking damn this man has a lifetime of unfiltered and unfinished trauma too aaaaaaaaahhhhh. I want to write all the things with Beth and John and Jamie lol. They sooth the shallow waters of my weird little soul soil.

sorry I ramble so badly, I can’t tell if that’s the adhd working or if I’m really just bad at staying on track because everything reminds me of something else and then I can’t find my way back to the circles beginning! But I’ve loved your asks they’ve been such high points in my time here thank you so much for talking and sharing in this with me my dude, I hope you have an excellent day/night/afternoon/dusk and beyond lol.

[elliesflower]

hello all you lovely beautiful wonderful amazing incredible show-stopping spectacular never-been-done-before people who follow me,

i’d like to share something a lil personal with you all, if that’s alright. tw for mental health talk below

i have loved the last of us since i first played it back in 2014. i was absolutely enamored by the story, the characters, the overwhelming, conflicting feelings of joy and pain i felt while playing, all of it. i absorbed every little bit of knowledge i could about the games, about the lore—i was so happy to have a little world i could escape to when nothing felt right in my life. while it has always been a constant joy in my life, it has been my main hyperfixation for the last three years now.

i used to write for a few different fandoms, and i only fairly recently built up the courage to share my writings with you all, in this community. the overwhelming amount of kind messages and comments i have received have been more than i could have ever dreamed possible. you all make this such an amazing part of my life and for that i am so grateful—that you enjoy my writing, that you want me to continue writing them, and that you are excited for me to put out new works. i struggle a lot with imposter syndrome, and i often feel like i am not putting my best foot forward, but i still appreciate it more than you all will ever understand, that people take the time out of their day to read my works and actually enjoy them.

when i first started writing for this fandom, in late october of last year, i was at the absolute lowest point in my life. i was hospitalized, briefly, before being put into an iop program to treat my mental health. shortly after i got out of the hospital is when i began writing i saw you in a dream. it was my perfect little dream world, in which i could escape to my silly little alternate reality, awkwardly flirting with ellie and feeling this immense amount of joy that only writing could bring me. i didn’t expect anyone but my best friend to read my stuff, honestly, so every single like/reblog/kudo/comment i received literally made me tear up. i couldn’t believe my eyes, as the number of notes grew, from 1, to 20, to 100, to over 700 on one of my little blurbs. still, to this day, i know i have said it a million times before, and literally probably twice already in this lil ramble but i am so so so grateful and appreciative of each and every person who has interacted with any of my works, and to the friends i have made along the way.

i am saying all this because i feel like i owe you all a little explanation. i know im a little flaky on my promises, which is not very cool of me :( i try my best to write as much as i can, but i only recently returned to work after my program, and it’s been really hard on me, mentally. and i’m not saying this for any kind of pity at all, i swear!!!! (i’m a big girl, really!!) ((well, that’s debatable, but i like to think i am!!!). i just want to explain why i have slowed down on the frequency of my writing, and posting. as someone with both adhd and autism, i struggle with a lot of basic everyday tasks already, so adding work back into the mix has been chaotic, to say the least.

ANYWAYS, TLDR; this is kinda just…a big, long, roundabout way of saying i unfortunately will not be posting the next chapter of i saw you in a dream tonight, per say, but it is in the works, and THAT is a promise :)

i love you all, so so so so much. thank you for being here. and for reading this far, if you made it through my rambling. <3

[bilesproblems]

(sorry this is long my adhd decided to infodump lmfao)

technically not an mspec lesbian thing but a gaybian thing so close enough(?), but i've been thinking ab an interaction i had recently a lot and i rlly wanted to talk ab it ;w;

a bit ago i was hanging out at this place with a "friend" (he likes me more than i like him :p) and he knows im genderfluid and identify as gaybian

a while ago (like long before this situation) i tried to explain to him ab lesboys using the example of a bigender boygirl (i think i talked ab it on this blog actually? tumblr search is mean tho so im not sure) and he basically was so set in stone that lesbian had to mean non-men loving non-men that he explained it by saying that "a bigender person [specifically boygirl] could identify as lesbian because they identify as bigender not as a boy" which is like soo fucking invalidating to bigender ppl dkfhvidufhv but anyway

so he already strongly still thinks you cant be lesbian while a boy or gay (turian) while a girl

anyway back to the main point sorry im rambling lol

we were at this place and there were paintings on the wall that happened to be (or maybe were purposefully) the lesbian and gay flag colors

and he was joking with me and pointed at the lesbian colored one and said "this is you sometimes," then pointed at the gay colored one and said "this is you other times!"

and i didnt say anything in the moment (didnt wanna start an argument) but it really pissed me off (and hurt) that he said sometimes

it felt just as bad as if he had misgendered me...

no!! im both a lesbian AND gay man at the SAME TIME at ALL TIMES do NOT say "sometimes"!!!!

I keep thinking ab it and it rlly does hurt :<

Yeah you did talk about that before, and damn. Some gaybians are fluid between the two but not all of them. I want to be happy he's at least trying but I don't think he really even is if he doesn't think bigender men are man enough or that you're a gaybian at all times even though I doubt you haven't explained it to him