#they deserve to be happy and not crucified

[puppys-rhythm-heaven]

i am being so fucking autistic about a video game i've only played an hour and a half of and have absorbed like 99% of my information about through osmosis from my bestie(s. it's complicated) and fanfiction. catastrophic levels of autism. i can't stress this in words i don't think y'all understand. or care honestly sdflkjfdskdfsjsfdkj-

[kelin-is-writing]

Fuck you Endeavor. Fuck you All For One. Fuck you to all the Pro-Heroes. Fuck the Hero Society and FUCK YOU HORIKOSHI too 🥰

[raelis1]

via @batsplat

speaking of smallville now that was certainly a show. how many seasons did you manage and when is it best to stop? I am currently at s2 and already I would kill every other character for lex, wyd it’s only gonna get worse 😭

lmaooo okay so I got to. six. which actually kinda kills me because I swear I poured my heart and my soul into that stupid show, it drove me insane it left me a lesser person and I BARELY GOT HALFWAY

my basic analysis of the default journey with that show that I'm going to pretend is universal is like. it hooks you with something compelling in s1 and you still have enough naive faith to give it benefit of doubt that the writers actually know what they're doing, because you just wanted to have a bit of fun but, hey, these characters are actually more interesting than you expected!! then in s2 you're starting to get doubts but you're already kinda too deep. then s3 breaks your sanity and makes you scream and at this point you just see how far this shit goes. then s4 is.... mid..... but is also in a way the last remotely palpable season? and then at some point in s5 you're just like. wow I don't even enjoy the hate watching any more. and s6 is. yeah. eventually there was one storyline that is so insanely uncomfortable that it's just. enough. enough!

[mild spoilers to follow]

if s2 drives you insane on lex grounds then!! boy!! s3!! the thing about s3 from lex's pov is that. okay it's extremely angsty and does increasingly radicalise you... I have to say I started this show in a very innocent jokey 'oh ho ho I heard they have some good superman/lex luthor queerbait in that noughties show!!' and was ready to be a lex fan like. as a bit. and y'know my readiness to adopt morally dubious characters is pretty high anyway. but the first few seasons made me go?? okay but he genuinely isn't even the villain?? like I'm not even saying this for the bit, he LITERALLY is not the bad guy in this story?? guys??? and then by the end of season 3 I had been completely radicalised to the 'Actually Lex Luthor Should Turn Evil And Kill All Of You People And I Will Cheer Him On' stance. but what really, really, really kills me is that after all that, they still manage to bungle his transition to evil. like, they ignore all the very obvious reasons for why lex would turn evil after all that, and just come up with completely new ones? that have fuck all to do with this character you've been writing up to that point?

and the worst bit. the WORST bit. is that after all that, he literally does not even have fun being evil. like, you know that season one episode where he's being mind controlled and does his gay little swagger. this scene, yeah:

first of all, again, they ended up erasing lex's canonical motivation for turning evil, which is being so queer-coded he might as well be wearing a sign with slurs around his neck while he's stuck in a small town in fucking kansas. like "you think I don't see the way your parents look at me? the way half the town looks at me?" okay, great, love how this entire arc is eventually concluded by having the show say the entire town including clark's small-minded parents were 100% right to be suspicious of him, that there was something fundamentally defect with him basically from birth and he was always going to turn out to be evil. I feel like you definitely thought through the implications of what you wrote here!

but never mind all that, my actual point is that lex is having fun here!! this is one of several episodes where they're 'foreshadowing' lex turning evil by 'having a paranormal reason to make lex evil for a few minutes' (some subtle writing, this), and he's generally having a lot of fun with it!! he's leaning into the camp of it all!! he's freed from all his nasty and completely unnecessary inhibitions like 'not killing everyone in smallville' which. good. and he's just having a great time. and then he becomes a villain and he's literally just miserable all the time!! it sucks!! like omg if you're going to butcher his writing and ruin the character then at LEAST let him have some fucking fun?? at least let him experience joy at his own depravity or whatever? like he doesn't even get to do any fun villain monologues at clark, he's literally just sad clark isn't his friend any more while clark is giving him the homophobic dog slur. and then also about twice a season something paranormal happens to clark and he physically assaults lex to the point where he like, almost kills him, and then after that everyone pretends it didn't happen and clark never apologises and continues to burst into his room demanding answers. like omg?? lex, they hate you anyway, can you please just attempt to shoot clark?? also, obviously the turn to villainy should have been in large part motivated by lex finding out clark's secret and going?? the fuck is wrong with you for not just SAYING this?? (plus finding out everything clark did to lex in season three to keep his secret like it's genuinely so fucked up #lmao) but. I hate to break bad news to you about where we're at with the whole 'does lex know clark's secret yet' situation at the point where I gave up. genuinely what is the point of all this building and perfectly interesting character work if you're NEVER gonna deliver

but quite possibly an even worse sin of the later seasons that genuinely broke my brain was the treatment of lex's father. like, not to give the game away too much here, but the show's philosophical stance on rotten apples ends up being.... well. it's interesting which characters this show feels is worthy of redemption!! also interesting when they retcon several seasons of writing for the show that already very much set up why a character would actually perfectly legitimately go insane and instead settle for 'well his father sure did know there was always something wrong with him'!! watching some season 3 and season 5 episodes back to back would leave your face scarred from the amount of whiplash in the writing. the whole thing's kinda incompetent and dumb but is also like?? actively a little bit evil when you really think about the implications of what they're writing here

anyway. it's a brave stance on superman to go 'okay but what is being a superhero really about if not a whole whole lot of gaslighting'. and I do love the clark stalking room!! but the problem is, they could've played the clark/lex dynamic in a kinda tragic 'wow clark really has been so blinded by his parents that he's gonna end up destroying his relationship to lex because he just can't be honest with him and lex really needed one person in his corner who actually trusted him but clark wasn't the right person to provide that' way. they could've played it in a sort of fun 'yeah this is kinda fucked up and weird and toxic how they simply cannot stop doing dubious shit to each other' way where you just kinda roll with how terrible the whole thing is. but they don't go for either of those!! they're so stuck with treating clark's parents as the moral centre of the universe, with their "marriage is SACRED, clark" schtick and all that (yeah, there's an episode where clark gets lectured about the importance of the bond of marriage, this is a thing that happens) that they're blatantly unaware of what story they're telling but ALSO just refuse to lean into the batshit insane elements and just have!! fun!! and it's one of those things where you really do feel like an idiot for even thinking about this stupid fucking show so!! much!! but I swear, I swear they had a dynamic that hit like crazy in season one... also some of the fic out there for them is CRAZY like it kinda does make it all worth it but still!! still!! this shit infuriates me!!

anyway, here are some bonkers plot bits I remember happening in this show for you to enjoy if you continue in this endeavour:

the lex luthor slut shaming episode

clark kent slut shaming lex luthor, which is conceptually funny anyway but becomes funnier if you just read it as clark being unable to figure out he is actually just subliminally attracted to his friend. like, okay, clark being disappointed at lex for sleeping with thirteen different women, I see you

like. multiple lesbian lana moments. she's constantly getting herself in lesbian situations. and I get this is some kinda weird fanservice-y shit from the showrunners but, sue me, I thought lesbian vampire lana was cute

which is a thing that happens

they get spike from btvs to tell clark vampires aren't real, which is the one funny thing they wrote in about a season

the native american stuff is always deeply uncomfortable but it becomes even weirder when they invent some native american prophecy *deep sigh* to explain how lex was always evil

clark steals a car from lex several episodes after committing like, one of the most obscene acts of betrayal it is possible to commit against a friend (lex is unaware of this and possibly never finds out? I think the writers maybe forgot about this.) and lex is just like. it's fine <3 I know friends sometimes have to do crazy shit for other friends!! you're my friend, right?? and clark goes... yeah. sure

I vaguely remember lex buying stuff the american football high school team at some point and showing up to the lockers to give a speech and it's just?? this is right after the friendship break up and it's basically lex talking right at clark and he's talking about the importance of fresh starts and it is so fucking funny

the one episode where lana is in paris. they had built up to this for ages as like a whole thing where lana finally frees herself from that miserable town and all the people in it (don't ask how the 'lana knowing clark's secret' situation develops. it doesn't) and then she's there for. one episode

martha kent tells clark how they can't harbour illegal immigrants at one stage?? she eventually changes her mind I think but what even was that all about

the papa kent goes into politics arc. shoot me

lex becomes like. possessed by zod. which somehow manages to make everyone involved more dull

silver kryptonite makes clark paranoid, which ends up being pretty funny because he genuinely talks the exact same way

lex thinks clark can throw him across the room because he's been hypnotised

lex starts capturing various clark super powered friends and delivers these gay villain monologues to them (like genuinely, in one of them he's got shirtless aquaman strapped to a gurney and he's like, leaning over him, teasing him with a glass of water) and they're some of the best bits of the show

clark discovers the clark stalking room, which I will say was very funny

chloe basically saying lex always sends clark these massive gifts as a way of keeping his affections which?? clearly true but I thought we were keeping that the subtext

clark gatecrashes lex's wedding high on red kryptonite

one of lex's old bullies gets killed by like, a statue falling from the top of the building they're standing next to and stabbing the guy and then some of the blood splashes on lex and he's just like ?? bleh. fantastic scene

and THEN there's several scenes with his father where lex is like 'well that sure was a nice shirt :(' and lex's father is berating him for his lack of humanity. or something

there's an episode where lex is split into good lex and evil lex and it's genuinely the only worthwhile thing the show did that season. like the writing is still kinda incoherent but, crucially. it sure is fun

the spirit of lex's mum tells him she thinks he sucks

worst show in existence. I'll never forget it

[ladyloveandjustice]

so idk something that kind of bothers the "we must save men from the alt right pipeline" because "we're hating for their immutable traits"

why

why specifically are men the ones who we need to always do this for.

I think it would sound ridic to say this about terfs. Terfs are turning to terfism because they don't feel welcome, we need to be gentler and more loving and more of a community and they'll see the light. Terfs as a class are so oppressed by an unloving society :(

Or hey imagine saying this about white women. You don't have to imagine it it's been done and its bad. I think we've all agreed that posting a manifesto on how white women should be treated nicer by POC and its leftism's job to save white women from going conservative always sucks.

So why is it up to women now. Why is it up to us.

I agree leftism needs to be a more welcoming place that doesn't crucify people for mistakes, or react with hostility to questions. I personally want that. But it's weird to frame this as something we need to do for (mostly white) men specifically, but like, not like conservative white women, conservative woc, conservative trans women??? There's a lot out there.

I dunno. it rubs me to frame the message of this. I don't want to actively go around saving white men and boys from themselves/other white men, I've been asked to do that all my life.

I don't think we should be hostile, I'm not a person that would ever say kill all men (tbh even ignoring the fact there are marginalized men...language like that in general...kill all (enemy) has always been uncomfortable for me. Some people can change) I don't react to them with hostility, you know, men are just fine as long as they're fine with me. I'm happy to have them as allies, happy to get behind trans men, gay men, men of color when they need help.

But I do know some women just give a dni because they're traumatized. And idk, maybe they deserve to be treated gently. Maybe everyone does.

I think leftists need to be kinder and more welcoming sure. I think we need to focus on change and banding together But framing the convo around saving men. That men are special and alienated and we're specifically failing them somehow. It doesn't sit well.

I do thing putting stuff into a binary of good or evil and just kind of reinventing conservatism in that way is a huge probem,...I don't know...Can't we just be nicer and in-fight less for the sake of being welcoming in general? For everyone? Can't we come together and be more accepting of people because a community is stronger together? Can't we have unity and nuance because of that?

I don't want to do it to save men from their own decisions, I don't feel inclined to engage with hostile guys, I just want to be nice and open and we all have less of a feeling people might turn against you over any little thing.

[rubydubydoo122]

could you talk more about fanon vs canon tim drake? i havent gotten too far into the comics yet but have seen a lot of him (mis?)characterized by others

Just a preface, I'm not gonna crucify any Tim fans who find themselves writing these tropes, because it is fandom, and everyone's allowed their own interpretations of the character, I'm just personally not a fan of these takes on Tim because in my mind they just don't make sense for the character. If anyone has differing opinions, feel free to (politely) explain them to me, because I'm happy to hear them.

Ok, so much like Fanon Dick Grayson, there are two versions of fanon Tim Drake.

There's version A.) where where he's one minor inconvienience away from becoming a supervillain (I understand where this one comes from and I don't HATE it) and there's version B.) where he was criminally neglected as a kid and is infantalized (This version of Tim I Loathe)

I'll start with version A. I see where it comes from. Mainly the Red Robin 2009 run, but we have to remember that Tim was grieving pretty much everyone close to him during that era. He was being self destructive because of that grief, and yeah, grief changes a person, but Tim is the type of character who would still turn out good despite all the hurt handed to him. Oh! But Gun Batman-- Tim actively chose against being that. He would rather kill himself than let himself become a version of Batman who went against everything Batman stood for. I know there are multiple storylines where Tim meets and evil future version of himself, but those versions would constantly be like a weight on him to be good. All in all, if I had to choose between the fanon Tim Drakes, I would choose villain Tim Drake, as long as it's done in more of a character-study way rather than a 'He deserves to go evil, as a treat' because it's an interesting take with the right motives.

Now onto Version B. Loser Tim Drake. The reason I Loathe this version of Tim is because it usually involves Characters Assassination of the characters around him. Ok, so do I agree that Tim Drake was somewhat neglected? Yes. But goddamit, the way I see Jack and Janet portrayed, you would think that they were running from the feds or something. They were good people, just bad parents. Maybe a little immature to raise a child, but it wasn't to the point where they would probably need to call CPS. Neglect isn't black and white, and the Drakes fell into that grey-- which I personally believe to be a lighter shade. You do have to remember that a lot of Tim's introduction was written in the 90's where parenting styles were a lot different compared to Today. Still, they sent him to boarding school, meaning they made sure that some form of adult was taking care of Tim AND a lot of people try to make Jack Drake out to be the villain for stopping Tim from being Robin, and blackmailing Bruce for it, but... It's What Any Sane Parent Would Do? I'm 18, but I know if I ever had a kid, and then fell into a coma and then woke up and found out that my Kid was fighting crime in one of the most CRIME RIDDEN CITIES alongside my middle-aged neighbor who dresses up like a furry I WOULD CALL THE FUCKING COPS. But enough about the Drakes. Because not only does Loser Tim Drake assassinate their character, but why is 17 year old Tim the victim when it comes to 10 year old Damian-- "Oh he tried to kill him' They're both trained by assassins. They're both trained. They're both Trained. Why Is a Junior/Senior in high school hurt by the actions of a 5th grader. I have a similar age gap with my younger brother. We have had pretty brutal fights and the next day we're fine. I'm not going to get into "Attack on Titans Tower AUs" but I will say this, Every Time I Start To Read One Of Those, I Lose Half Of My Hair Because of How Bad the Characterization Of Both Jason And Tim are. Please, Read, The, Comic. Jason Wasn't Trying To Kill Tim. If He Was, Tim would Be Dead. ANd Tim was Snarking Jason Through The Entire Confrontation. Lastly, Why Has DICK 'BAMF' GRAYSON TURNED INTO TIM"S NUMBER ONE OP????!!!! DIck IS LITERALLY TiM's ChiLDHOOD HEro!!!!! NoT BAtMAN, DICK GRAYSON. And like, not only that, Dick and Tim are the most brotherly. I'm Begging, Please go read a 90's comic. Why is it, the only time I see Dicks Manipulative side in fanon, It's in opposition to Tim? I bet it's bc of Teen Titans Go. I bet the only Tim and Dick interaction they've seen is TTG Robin going "No BOdy cARes AbOuT TiM DrAke"

Sorry that ended up becoming rant-y, and less objective. Since actually reading comics, fanon Tim Drake gets on my nerves.

[dalliancekay]

Double Standards

I'm having thoughts.

You know how women are generally (almost always) held to higher standards than men? This also goes for people who are seen as good vs bad. If an overall good person (or a woman) in public eye does something even a little bit out of line, they get crucified. But if someone who is perceived as something of a bad (boy, it's basically always a man*) does something good, the praises are never ending. I'm afraid this has seeped into the way Aziraphale and Crowley are sometimes perceived. The good one (a literal angel no less) is absolutely forbidden to make mistakes or say anything out of line (I forgive you definitely counts) while the bad one (yes, I mean the demon with the golden heart) is not really blamed for anything, cos he's supposed to be bad, right? Anything good he does or feels is a bonus point.

That's. That's not how this should work. They are both beautifully flawed, evolving beings, in love with one another trying to keep each other safe in a hostile environment with uncertain rules.

Aziraphale is NOT BEING PURSUED by Crowley and is not being held back by the love of his toxic family (and/or his inner objections to being in love with a demon) he doesn't have the courage to abandon. Aziraphale is not a damsel in distress Crowley is rescuing. I thought Aziraphale admitting that he enjoys being rescued because it makes Crowley happy was proof enough but apparently not.

Just because they enjoy giving each other the things they didn't get to feel from their homes/jobs - Crowley being needed and Aziraphale being appreciated, doesn't mean they aren't fully functional separate beings.

Are they better together? YES But there is no one right or wrong here. They've been dealt a really bad hand at cards and they are trying their best. Aziraphale doesn't need to do anything to deserve Crowley (this is an extremely flawed relationship trope). He is already loved, he is already enough. And the SAME is true the other way round. Aziraphale is not holding out to some future Crowley who will be a better version to who he is now (or being an angel again!!) Aziraphale loves him just as he is.

Their problem is not with each other. It never has been. Their problems all stem from the fact that their existence, although in principle they are immortal, is not really all that secure. Especially not if they want to spend time together. And they do. So their problems pile up. This is their tragedy. And also why their love story is so compelling. Not because one is better or will change or abandon everything to be with their lover. But because they are imperfect in very bad, often scary situations and they are drawn to each other, and care for each other above everything else. That's why Crowley wanted to stay and that's why Aziraphale had to leave.

*I'm sorry to have used terminology for cis people in my examples, but these are what we generally perceive in public life and media - at least we do for now. I do adore my NB and trans friends - hopefully their representation will brighten the future in these things as discussed above soon.

[charliemwrites]

“Sometimes, I feel like I’m too selfish with you.” 

A simple sentence, one filled with a sentiment that many have felt before when balancing a relationship. But they were enough to bring Nikto’s entire universe to a standstill when they escaped your mouth. You? Too selfish?? Especially when it comes to him????? You could demand that he crucify himself for you, and he would walk into the arms of the cross like he is returning home, breathing in the scent of the cedar as it mixes with the iron of the nails that he strikes through his feet and hands and the blood that weeps from the wounds. You could ask him to drown the rest of the world, and he would tear the heavens open to cause waters to rise. He could become a plague upon humanity at the slightest hint of your desires, and you worry that you are being too selfish with him? When you have barely asked a single thing of him? Your commandments, though they are laws onto him and his actions, though craved into the wall of his bunk, were not orders. You never asked for his devotion, never demanded that he follow you, worship you, and, oh doesn’t that make you all the more worthy of it? So why do you now stand in front of him, shying away from his gaze, looking like a guilty sinner as you confess your perceived selfishness of him? Had he failed you so completely that you doubted his fidelity? What else could he possibly do to prove it to you? Every act of devotion the Bible has taught him is either is impossible for him (there is no family to sacrifice, no world-ending flood to build an ark for, nothing) or would go against your happiness (he would throw himself into fire while singing you praises, but he knows that goes against your first commandment and would make you extremely upset instead of happy). He feels trapped in that moment, staring at you, feeling like he failed you as your most devoted servant, when you finally speak again. 

“You never ask anything of me. Every day, you follow behind me like my shadow, you treat me as some sort of deity, yet you ask for nothing from me. After I asked you to help me when I was injured, you asked for nothing in return. Even when I know you are aroused, you don’t even ask for time away from me to take care of it yourself, and I know I shouldn’t force you to do anything with me like that, I know that it’s probably a physical reaction more than you actually being attracted to me, but the fact that you won’t even separate from me to jack off when you need it all because I selfishly told you to always come back to me that one time, or because you feel like you owe me for being your nurse, and it makes me feel so selfish that I haven’t done anything to free you from me, when you deserve it, you deserve happiness, and release and freedom and-“ 

Nikto has been your shadow for a while now, has been on the receiving end of you talking endlessly multiple times before. It was one of the things that first made him comfortable with you: you talking at him instead of to him because you knew he didn’t want to talk. But never before had this habit made him feel quite so desperately hopeless as it currently is. You think he isn’t attracted to you? You are more beautiful than words could possibly describe! He could know every language to ever exist, and still be left desperately searching for a way to properly tell you just how stunning he finds every single piece of you. No picture or drawing, no landscape, no human, no galaxy, no poem or verse, nothing could EVER come close to being even a fraction as beautiful as you are. And if Nikto were someone else, maybe he could will himself into saying this out loud. But he isn’t. Nikto is only himself, could only ever be himself, and these thoughts in his head stay swirling around while his tongue feels like lead within his mouth. Nikto isn’t a man of words, so he does the best he can, and he grabs you gently, and kisses you.

It’s not the best kiss. You were cut off in the middle of talking, and Nikto, so panicked over the idea of you not knowing his worship is so much more than simple Hero Worship for his nurse, didn’t even remove his soft mask that he wears around base. But Nikto is desperate, and so are his lips underneath the soft cotton of the mask. They work against your own, and it’s clumsy at best. Any kisses Nikto has had before were lost to him in the trauma of his rebirth, leaving him unsure of his actions but certain in his intent. Yes, he may not know how to kiss you in this new body you claim he inhabits, but fuck if the feeling of your lips against his, even through the mask, doesn’t feel like the closest thing to heaven he will ever find. And a part of him feels like he has been knocked into the pits of hell with how hot he burns for you, finally able to feel some of the thrumming arousal that had been living within him, just for you. 

If Nikto is left with a growing wet spot in his boxers when he pulls away from your lips, he won’t tell. At least, not if you don’t ask about it. Because he could never deny his Savior anything that you ask. And when you look at him, dazed but with stars in those beautiful eyes, and asks him “please, just ask for what you want. Don’t just secretly covet it. I want to give you as much as you’ve given me”, he agrees, because there is nothing else for him to do. 

A new commandment for his wall, a new law by which he lives. And he already knows the first thing he will ask for from you, since the taste has left him starving. 

Just… no words. Incredible.

[bwabys-scenarios]

Kurapika doesn’t understand that someone could hold him dear to their heart.

He’s tossed his life aside so much that he almost views himself as insignificant in comparison to his goals. His health, his previous ambitions, hopes, and dreams didn’t matter anymore once his clan was massacred. He wasn’t the boy who wanted to explore the world anymore, he just wanted to go home.

He wanted to have a home to return to again.

So when you open up your doors to him, carving out a spot in your home that’s just for him and nobody else it’s almost overwhelming.

He’s spent so long pushing his heart into a crevice in his body and now you’re tugging at it and it’s uncomfortable and it hurts but it also feels so warm and sweet that he doesn’t know how to react.

Game nights and holidays and home cooked meals were things he didn’t think he deserved, but you invited him to them anyways and made sure he feels included and loved.

It’s hard, part of him thinks that he doesn’t deserve to experience these good things anymore because his clan can’t, but the other part of him craves an ounce of normalcy in his cold and tired existence where everything is about vengeance and getting to the end.

And when you just hold him and let him rest for a while he can’t help but want to melt into your arms and never get up again. Would it be okay, if he found some comfort in you for just a little while? Can he bear the sin of enjoying life on his back when the weight of his clan never getting to smile again bears down on him like a cross until he crucifies himself in the name of vengeance and justice?

Everyone has their cross to bear but fuck does his weigh down on him to the point of digging him into the ground at times.

And with your hands that could never understand his pain, you lift up some of the burden of his trauma and let him rest and recover. Does he really deserve you, when he can’t give you the normal and happy life you deserve?

You always answer the same way. “It doesn’t matter if you deserve me, you have me, and I’m not going anywhere.”

And he doesn’t know if that answer will be enough to stop his heart from aching when he catches you crying over his well being, but he hopes that you will really still be there when he’s ready to settle down. He wants you, but he’s not sure he’ll ever actually have you.

He just doesn’t know that you are already all his, and you have been for years. Kurapika will learn with time, your blonde love is just a bit dense and too fixated on the past to see what’s in front of him.

[myths-tournaments]

Awful Characters Round 2 Part 1 (5/8)

Propaganda under the cut!

SHEN JIU

YES he abused a child and killed an entire manor of people, but it was probably only one child and allegedly the people sucked. Surely this is not behavior deserving of being turned into a human stick or having your body possessed by a weeb. I love him because sometimes mean people are fun and also who can resist a good redemption tale (he deserves one).

BENNY GECKO

The first thing that happens in new vegas is that benny fucking shoots your character in the face, steals your shit and leaves you in an open grave. Benny is by all accounts a bastard. He kills you, steals from you, he killed his last boss, he is the single most duplicitous man around. His gang are all about honesty- except him. He's a lying, cheating bastard. The guys who helped him catch you? He skipped on paying them and left them to get shot to death. His new boss, mr.house? He stole his robot, broke it open, got someone to reprogram it and decided to use it to TAKE OVER THE WHOLE OF VEGAS. Benny literally kills people, lies to people, steals their shit and takes charge. That's all benny does. He gets fucking CRUCIFIED if you don't help him out just because so many people fucking hate him. And yet. And yet. Benny is the single most compelling character in the whole game to me. He's just a little guy! He's just there! You can get shot in the head and come back and he goes "what in the goddamn" and then if you try and flirt with him he's like "uhhh sure? Okay?" And leaves you a polite note in the morning. He's fancy. He wears a stupid suit. He has a tiny gun with shitty bullets. He's catholic. He talks like an old timey news presenter. Literally nobody else in the entire game does that. He's got an intelligence of 3. He's my funtime boy. My silly little man. He's so funny. The antagonist in this game is a guy dressed like a tablecloth who looks at all times like a confused dog who doesn't understand what a tv is. And like. He's compelling. He robs from you, shoots you, but…. he never seems to actually wish you harm. He kills and robs and lies but like. He apologises for doing it to you. When he sees you again he doesn't attack you, he's just… confused. He tries to defuse the situation. You can convince him to talk to you, alone, with no guards and it's not that hard. If you spare his life, he doesn't go after you, like. Even if you sleep with him he doesn't take advantage of that and kill you, even if you try to. He… he just leaves. He gives you an apology. If he gets kidnapped by Caesar He just… apologizes again. He tells you his whole plan to take over the city, too. He thinks he'll die, and he wants something of him to survive. He's happy that you made it. And if you let him free, he just… leaves. He knows he's beat, he doesn't want to cause any more trouble. He walks out and leaves. The NCR will kill you if you cross them. The legion will crucify you. House? He'll blow you the fuck up. But benny, the guy who lies and cheats and schemes, he's honest. He's polite. He's… harmless. You can kill him with a single shot if you want. And he can't kill you. He doesn't kill you the first time, and he'll never really hurt you again. Benny just wanted to win. When he knows he's beat he just leaves. No lingering, no harm, he's off, off into the desert heat, and never seen again. Isn't that just insane? like have you ever known an antagonist so polite? He just leaves!! He offers you a drink!! His plan is genuinely probably the best one for the people of new vegas!!! He's. Benny is Benny.

Anyway if you want to see some REAL propaganda go to the blog @letmebegaytodd and look in the #benny tag. You'll Understand < https://www.tumblr.com/letmebegaytodd/717051175751614464/in-another-life-i-wouldve-really-liked-just> <- look at this shit man

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝓜𝓮𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓫𝓮 : At arms length

Just because you know the problem doesn't mean you know how to solve it. So how is he supposed to save you when he can't save you himself?

Tags/Warnings: Angst, hurt & Comfort, Idol!Jungkook, Hybrid!Reader, Cat Hybrid!Reader, mentions of depression and depressive thoughts, heartbreak, homelessness, it's a bit heavy sorry, mentions of mental abuse and manipulation, betrayal, slow burn, eventual smut, dead dove do not eat

Dead Dove do not eat: warning for potentially triggering content that can't be tagged without spoiling the story.

Length: 3k words

-> Masterlist

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Sleeping outside wasn't actually that bad at the end of the day.

You found a nice secluded space no one else seemed to use, and it was pretty well hidden from the wind so you actually got some decent sleep out of it. The day today would be entirely yours to paint out. And in a way, it's actually exciting.

You can do anything you want from now on. No one's holding you back, and neither are you holding anyone back.

The first thing you do is walking towards an open park- the morning sun warm and cozy, temperatures quickly rising to a comfortable point. You remember that you've always wanted to go camping with Jungkook back when you were still living with him- but he couldn't. He'd always tell you that it was too dangerous, that people could see you, and then you'd be in danger forever. It had scared you a little. It still scares you today.

Even though you don't quite know what he was so scared of.

Or maybe he wasn't actually scared at all. Maybe he was secretly simply embarrassed of owning a hybrid- or more so, being in a relationship with one. While these days, it's more normalized amongst 'normal' people, he's still an idol, and you're not stupid. Any partner he'd have would be absolutely crucified among discovery- but with a hybrid, they'd have even more to hate on, even more reasons to plant into his head that would grow into full on convincing arguments on why he couldn't and shouldn't be together.

Maybe that was what actually happened. He woke up, and realized how unrealistic this.. thing was you both were having back then.

You're busy eating your leftovers from yesterday when you watch police pick up a drunk guy from the side of the road in front of you. It's far away but still close enough to see- and so you watch from your spot, not doing anything but observe. You've always been good at that. You never liked participating in conversation- you rather listened. Hanako was always the polar opposite. She loves being the center of attention, thrives off of being the focal point of any situation. Maybe that's why she stopped working as a translator for them at some point. Maybe she couldn't stand to be nothing but a background character.

Not everyone likes being a ghost, after all.

But you don't mind it. You never have, not when with Hanako, or with Jungkook, or back at the carecenter. Has Hanako noticed yet that you're gone? Maybe. You'll have to keep an eye out in case she puts you up as missing- though maybe she won't, who knows. Maybe she's happy you're no longer bothering her. She can use the money she got for you for her own life now, maybe finally move into that apartment she'd been eyeing for a while. You know she liked that apartment a lot. But she couldn't move into it, because hybrids weren't allowed.

No longer will you be an obstacle for anyone. You'll live on your own, it'll be fine.

The birds chirp and cars pass by as the day moves on, while you rummage in your backpack for something to brush your hair with. The small pink brush is a bit scratched by now- but you remember that it was one of the first things Jungkook had ever bought for you. Back at the carecenter, everyone had the same things in their rooms, as to not cause any bullying amongst the hybrids- so when you came to his home, you felt like you were spoiled way over what you should deserve. He'd gone out of his way to research what brushes were best for your type of hair and fur, what bodywash and other products were best suited for sensitive cat hybrids, he did so many things no one has ever done to you before that.

Hanako made some efforts too, and you're grateful for them as well. She made sure you'd take your vitamins, that you'd get your meals every day, that you had everything necessary, despite her clear distaste of your presence. Whenever she had something to do, you'd stay at Miss Kim's house for the night- you'd eat baked goods late at night, and watch old movies with her on the couch. Miss Kim would be another person you'll miss. She was a very sweet lady.

You brush out all the tangles in your hair, before you move on to brush your tail in your lap- grooming routing calm and comfortable in the early morning sun, while you can see children walk to school. Your arm hurts a little where your heat preventing implant is placed- probably from sleeping on it tonight. Hanako had gotten it done at the beginning of this year, because your heats bothered her a lot. You can understand that. They never seemed to bother Jungkook, neither before nor after you both became a couple- but at the carecenter, you got those implants too, because they're cheaper than medication.

You'll just be careful not to sleep on it again, and it'll be fine.

~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~

"How long has she been missing?!" Jungkook barks out, not even greeting her at all as he walks into her home in Daegu. It's big- probably similar to his own apartment, but he can't really think about it much as his mind is still racing.

"I- think maybe since monday evening-" Hanako stumbles over her words, visibly appearing more like a child that just got caught faking their parents' signature on a bad grade.

"What do you mean, you think?!" He asks, growing even more irritated now. "How long?" He asks, hands on her kitchen counter.

"I.. wasn't home for the weekend. I came back yesterday, and, she wasn't there- so I'm not sure." She signs, shamefully admitting her wrongdoings to him.

"How often?" He asks, dangerously calm, and now she's a bit confused.

"What? She never ran away before-" She wants to argue, but he doesn't let her continue.

"How often do you leave her alone like this?" He asks instead, glaring at her. This isn't the 14-year old Jungkook she used to translate for. This is a young man who's clearly agitated over something she knew was wrong. And in a way, it feels like she's just realizing now how much he has grown in the recent years. Not only in height, but physically in general. His jawline is sharper, his eyes holding a sense of maturity in them. He doesn't look at all like the torn teenager who'd left you at her doorstep two years ago.

"I- she's fine on her own Jungkook." Hanako argues softly. "She always was. She can take care of herself, and she never complained either-"

"Because she doesn't ever complain in general- she can't fucking talk Hanako.!" He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Alright, fuck that-" He runs his hands over his face. "Where could she be?"

"Why do you ask me?" Hanako asks, almost offended. "Jungkook, I called you for a reason. I've got no idea where she could've gone!" She crosses her arms defensively, and he looks away at that.

It's been two years, and considering how much he himself has changed in that time, he can only assume that you must've changed as well. Even is Hanako didn't notice, there's no way you're still the exact same as he remembers- so he's got no clue where to look for you. "Does she.. what changed after I left her with you?" He asks her, sitting down in her kitchen.

"I, I'm not sure?" She sighs, sitting down across from him. "She.. I cancelled her train ticket, because she never really leaves the house, and we don't do much together. Oh, and she's got an implant now, for her heats." She explains, making Jungkook clench his jaw as he plays with his lip piercing. "Other than that.. I- I don't know. She stays in her room most of the time, doesn't really have any hobbies or anything. I don't know!" She leans back into the chair, raising her arms in defense.

"She likes knitting." He mumbles, and Hanako almost doesn't catch it. "She likes knitting, and watching long documentaries. Going out to the park, camping- Hanako for fuck's sake, if I wanted her to be caged into her room her entire life I would've kept her myself or put her in a shelter!" He grows louder and more agitated with every word of his sentence towards the end of it. "I left her with you so she could have a normal, happy life- not to be put into some corner to rot away!" The idol barks.

"Well, I didn't ask for it!" Hanako argues. "You just left her at my doorstep-"

"I asked you, Hanako, I asked you multiple times if you were okay with it!" He stands up now. "You asked me for money to cover her expenses, and I happily paid. You asked me for a proper apartment somewhere nice, and I provided it in a heartbeat. You asked me to help you with all the legal shit, and I did it." He growls at her.

"You basically forced her onto me-"

"I gave you the option to say no!" He denies. "But it's always like that, isn't it? As soon as my wallet opens-" He gets up, laughing at nothing as he paces. "Doesn't matter now." He shakes his head, grabbing his car keys again as he slips back into his shoes.

"Wait- where are you going?" Hanako worries, by now terrified of the consequences if you don't turn up again.

"I'm going to find her." He simply explains, getting up to open the door. "And Hanako-" He calls out, looking at her fearful face.

"You better hope she's fucking fine."

~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~;~✿~

Some days are better than others.

Today, it's raining- quite a lot, drains on the streets running over as they can't hold onto all the water at the rapid pace it's raining down. It'll be tough to sleep outside if it continues like that- so maybe you'll use your money to sleep at a hybrid friendly bathhouse instead of your typical corner. Or you'll just eat a snack at a convenience store first. You are pretty cold right now- so maybe warming up first will make your thoughts flow a bit easier.

"There is my little ghost." The elderly guy chimes up, coughing a bit from his probably seventh cigarette. He smells like them a lot, but you don't mind. He's nice. He sometimes sneaks a snack or two over the counter, and he doesn't tell the police you're sleeping behind his store. "Was 'lil scared the storm might'a blown you away." He tells you with his thick gwangju dialect, and you shrug.

You don't talk. Or rather, rarely do. It hurts your throat- an old infection from poorly treated pneumonia having affected your vocal cords when you were still a kitten. Since then, you try to communicate otherwise- you remember Jungkook would always make sure he leaned in close if you were to speak, because you couldn't really talk very loud at all. He was always very attentive.

He did a lot of things you never asked of him. He just did them, adjusted his life to you, and in a way, you feel bad that he might've felt obligated to do so. You really were a pretty big burden on his life, weren't you?

You put the fishcake and instant ramen on the counter, bouncing a bit on the spot. "Eat it inside, alright?" The man says, picking up a small bag of watermelon gummies. "If it doesn't clear up I'll let'ya sleep in the storage room out back, hm?" He offers, and you nod, before you lift yourself up a little to wave him closer.

"Don't have to." You say in his ear with your slightly raspy tone, but he just laughs, shaking his head.

"No no, I could'nt ever sleep knowin 'ya out in that weather!" He tells you, before taking your money, and giving back the change.

You sit down in a corner, filling the cup or ramen with hot water before you climb onto one of the chairs, resting your head on your arms. The man is pretty nice, but you shouldn't be too trusting. If it really didn't clear up at least a little, you'd think about it, sure- but you'll probably still sleep somewhere else, just in case he's simply trying to swoon you in to later on call the authorities on you. You're a ghost after all.

No one loves ghosts.

You eat your food, happily letting your tail sway around as you feel the warmth spread in your body. A filling meal like this will make sure you'll sleep well, even if its cold outside. You always get sleepy after a big meal after all. Jungkook and you would take naps together. The entrance chimes with the arrival of a new customer- and you don't really open your eyes, rather enjoying the warmth slowly seeping through your clothes into your skin, not really paying attention to the conversation the two man at the cash register are having.

"Have you seen her?" The young man hidden underneath a bucket hat and black facemask asks, holding out a picture of a female cat hybrid. "I'm.. she got lost, I'm looking for her." He asks, urging the man to really take a good look at the image.

The man does so, recognizing your ghostly white cat ears and tail, eyes wandering but never to where he knows you're sitting. You remind the man of his own daughter's hybrid, years back before the poor thing died of heart failure. It was sudden, crushed the entire family- none of them ever really thinking about adopting another one ever again. He himself knows how rough it can be for those beings to survive even if they have a family of their own- and so he doesn't want to out you in any danger. What if that dude is from underground hybrid authorities? They're getting smart, after all. And the shelters have a pretty shitty reputation going on.

"Hm, ain't sure." He shrugs, giving the image back before crossing his arms defensively. "What's she to you?" He asks, and the young man sighs, staying silent for a moment.

"I.." He starts, visibly tense now as he seems to think for a moment. The man can clearly see his eyes, looking down onto the ground as if ashamed. What is he trying to do here exactly? Where are you supposed to go even if he does end up finding you? He can't just take you back home. It won't solve anything. He's still not in any position to take you with him again- the problems from back then still exist today.

Maybe he should really let go. Maybe he should move on, just like Namjoon said.

The door behind him chimes in a tune, someone either entering or leaving- the man in front of him watching in interest, before his eyes are back on the young man in front of him again. "Just tell me if you have seen her or not." He explains in defeat, and the guy in front of him sighs.

"Look kid, I can't tell." He shrugs. "You'all just gonna stuff the poor thing into some box in a room and call it there. I ain't about that." He shakes his head.

"So you have seen her." Jungkook asks, interest now peaked. "You have?"

"Maybe. Maybe I didn't." The man neither denies nor confirms.

"She's- I'm not with the authorities. I just want to bring her home.!" He begs now, sliding the picture closer to the man again. Something about the way the young man says 'home' makes him wonder- and ultimately makes him finally break, as he takes another look at the picture, putting on his glasses even.

"Looks like the lil' ghost sleepin' out back." He nods. "Not sure though."

"Out back?" Jungkook asks.

"Yeah. For a few days now." He nods. "Doesn't talk much, but very polite, the little thing." The man explains. "Pays for all her food, throws away all her trash." The man recalls. "Only noticed she's sleepin' back there 'cause I caught her on the CCTV once. Told her I'd leave open the storage, 'cause of the weather out right now."

Jungkook doesn't know what to really do now. Maybe he could wait up until you'd go to sleep there- but then what? You probably hate him, for good reason, won't let him any closer than arms' length he's sure- but he can't really sleep tonight knowing you're out there, right under his nose so to speak.

"Though I think she might not come back now." He sighs, putting down his glasses and interrupting Jungkook's thoughts.

"Why not?" The idol undercover wants to know, as the man nods towards the entrance of the store.

"She just left." He says, pointing to the door, making Jungkook's blood run cold.

And he immediately runs out, looking left and right for you. But there's no sight of you anywhere, nothing that could hint at where you might be- and it's one of those moments where he wishes he had your senses. The only thing he knows is that you're here, in Seoul, just like he suspected you might be after Taehyung had told him he'd seen you taking a train a few days ago- but that won't really help now, considering the size of the city, and the fact that you'll definitely avoid this area from now on. And with the weather getting worse, he's even more concerned now.

What is he supposed to do now? Or most importantly-

what can he even do now?

[evermoredeluxe]

That article isnt just a fluff piece, I think its coming and they're gonna announce it at the end of the summer before his season starts and I will throw a party for my popstar bestie's happiness because she fucking deserves it

no one crucify me, but i think so too. he has the opportunity to do it like a million times and he’s gonna take it imo

[smoochkooks]

sjm reposted guilty as sin on her ig stories and if it isn't elriel foreshadowing then i don't know anymore!!

"i dream of cracking locks, throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks (...)

i'm seeing visions, am i bad?

or mad? or wise"

Elain is a seer!!! her visions were driving her almost mad when she's just become fae

"What if he's written 'mine' on my upper thigh

Only in my mind?"

"I keep recalling things we never did"

!!!!! it's them yearning for each other even though they cannot be together and then Elain feeling betrayed when Azriel told her it was a mistake during Solstice. she's probably later on going to question herself whether she misinterpreted his actions

"I keep these longings locked

In lowercase inside a vault"

they cannot tell anyone about their attraction!! so they have to keep it to themselves because of Elain's mating bond

"We've already done it in my head"

now come onnnn it's Azriel's inner monologue during Solstice

"What if I roll the stone away?

They're gonna crucify me anyway

Elain wants to be free of her bond with Lucien that she has never wanted, she knows there might be huge consequences but she can't help but wonder whether she deserves to be happy and free

"What if the way you hold me

Is actually what's holy?"

mating bonds are considered to be sacred (so holy!!!). it's them wondering if their love for each other could transcend even a mating bond

[thegreymoon]

The Story of Minglan

Who gives a fuck?

We don't like her either.

***

LMAO, oh, fuck all the way off.

You want to plant spies in his bed that you would then use to undermine the Empress.

Die, bitch.

***

LMAO, I cannot 🤣🤣

When does Minglan start stabbing these garbage older women trying to stuff random girls into her husband's bed?

***

Somebody kill her, please.

***

The absolute evil of all these older matrons who spent their entire lives in shit marriages but are so eager to destroy a young woman's happiness as quickly as they possibly can 🤬 They all have a severe case of "Fuck you for thinking you can be happy" syndrome.

I hope Minglan eats them.

***

Who is Duke Ying of the State again? I am sure I have attempted to memorise this person before but I am coming up blank again.

Also, poor State Uncle, they just won't let the guy mourn in peace.

***

Fuck you and fuck Qi Heng and fuck whoever still lets you interfere in government proceedings.

***

When will your useless ass grow a spine?

***

LMAO, you should go speak to Minglan about it, she's the one hoarding all the brain cells in your marriage.

***

Do you deserve to be honoured by him?

All you've ever done is work against him and sabotage him, then on the first day of his new marriage, you bullied his wife and tried to stuff a concubine into his bed because you just had to be assholes about it.

I despise Qi Heng but I despise the whole lot of you more.

***

Are you sure about that? Are you sure that you know him?

Because he is 100% driven by his own vendetta.

***

This is, you see, because it is much more important for him to stick it to Gu Tingye for marrying the woman he wanted than it is to cultivate an actual marriage with you.

He's a self-absorbed prick and a shit husband, just like he would have been a shit husband to Minglan.

This poor woman. I feel like the ability to divorce with minimal consequences in modern times is one of the best things that happened to women and women's rights in history.

***

You are already disappointing.

She doesn't have the look of someone who achieved an orgasm unless it was by her own hand and you certainly don't look like a man that is capable of providing a woman with any since you're too busy wanking off to your own self-pity and delusions of grandeur.

***

Please don't drag Minglan into your stupid marriage.

She's had enough of Qi Heng's bullshit for this lifetime.

***

And of course, they implicated her, smh.

Minglan is lucky that her husband is sensible and open-minded. A less upstanding man could have made her life hell over this.

Fuck Qi Heng and his stupid jealous wife.

***

Fuck you.

Minglan is just beyond lucky that she married Gu Tingye.

Imagine if it had been any of those other shitty families we've seen so far, including Qi Heng's! Her in-laws would have crucified her and her shitty father would not have lifted a finger to help or comfort her.

As it stands, the Gu assholes have well and truly burned all bridges with Gu Tingye and as a consequence, have no power over her.

[womendeservehumanity]

Being aware of how much men hate us makes it hard for me to have any sort of hope. I'm straight (I think??) and I don't think I want to date men at all which is fine because I never dated anyway, but still I yearn for Intimitacy and romance and I can only get that through fiction. You can't be with a man without chopping off a part of yourself first. I wish I were still unaware of how much they hate us, although I think we all know deep down. We choose not to see it in order to...live. it's a heavy burden. What do you with it?

I have never in my life related to something this hard. This sounds like something I’d write omg 😭 I really do feel for you. As someone who has loved romance and romcoms since as long as they could remember, I always had this picturesque idea of relationships. That they were equal. That it wouldn’t even be a question that a man would see women as people and be capable of loving a woman. I thought they viewed women and relationships with women how I and other women view them.

Throughout middle school I had VERY intense crushes. Like I was obsessed lol. I never really comprehended the concept of misogyny and the very warped way men and boys viewed women and girls. I, again just thought they viewed us the way we viewed them. Void of hatred and objectification.

I’ve had one boyfriend in my life and he gave me hope that there were men that were truly capable of loving a woman. That were free of misogyny as much as a man could be. And I truly do think that he loved me and that he’s a good person (pls don’t crucify me radblr). He definitely wasn’t perfect. I didn’t find my unicorn of a man or anything.

Although I had that experience I still have come to the conclusion that it’s not worth it searching for that man who, in a sea of men that do nothing but make women’s lives worse, is a good person and sees me and other women as people deserving of respect. And it’s definitely not the worth the risk. But I still very much feel you on craving intimacy and romance. And it’s so polarizing to innately desire that with your biggest threat.

It’s something I’m still navigating so I can’t give you the most surefire advice or perspective. Women are taught since so young, to center and prioritize romantic relationships above everything. I’ve seen the result, where so many girls have essentially alienated themselves from anything beyond their boyfriend. Identity, relationships, etc. it’s heartbreaking. So I feel like it especially makes the idea of a life without romance seem hard. But familial and platonic relationships are just as valuable. Romance isn’t the endgame and end all be all. There are so many amazing women out there who will show you so much warmth and love in life. And just because it isn’t romantic doesn’t mean it’s not fulfilling.

And I know this is corny and self explanatory but having a relationship and love for yourself is so important. Especially in a world that thinks you don’t deserve that. You do! I practice mindfulness a lot. It helps with feeling grounded and being able to find inner peace. Sometimes I just see how much this world hates women. How much women are suffering globally. How much men truly hate us. To a capacity I could never comprehend a human being feeling. And that the idea of ever being with a man without knowing all of this and him not being apart of the problem is unrealistic. It’s so overwhelming and frustrating at times that it consumes me. And having that mindfulness is why I can still be happy and enjoy life. Another thing. Invest in your hobbies and interests. Take that time for yourself. I love going to the movie theater (my absolute favorite place on this earth) and just leaving everything behind for a 1-2 hours. You deserve that.

Another thing. I still love me a good romcom/romance movie, romance novel, and ship. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with indulging in it. Most of the time it’s made by women for women for the immersion of having that type of love and relationship with a man. Because even non-radicalized women have this silent acceptance that those expectations from a man are ridiculous beyond fiction. I remember a tumblr post noting that that’s why so many men hate and mock the romance genre. The idea of women expecting them to love and express love for them is foolish.

And as I’ve come to realize how men are. Even beyond blatant hatred and violence. Their depthless view of women. How they view sex. It’s just made me not really want a relationship. It’s not that I’m not attracted to them anymore and don’t desire romance but I’ve just lost interest in them. Seeing what that relationship would most likely entail on account of women I’ve seen both in real life and online makes that decision much easier. Women deserve so much more than that.

This was so long I’m sorry 😣 but anon if you’re still here I wish nothing but happiness and love in your beautiful life. Your words truly resonated with me. Still kinda wanting that ignorance to men’s hatred and violence. I think back to those times. When I could never even comprehend a man hating women to the degree I see everyday online. And that they saw us how we saw them. As people. But once you make this realization you can never really come back. I’ve tried in the past. And now I know that it’s in the best interest of myself and other women to not ignore that and live in “blissful” (if you could even call it that) ignorance.

[chdarling]

AHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG that ending though !!!!!! laughed my fucking arse off and i am SO glad you ended it there rather than with snapes pov ( even though that certainly sets the tone for TLE3 !! )

In all seriousness though, I discovered your writing half way through writing my dissertation in march / april - a time which was just so stressful and at a point where my general sense of well-being and happiness was just so low. I absolutely raced through TLE1 and TLE2 and it made me laugh and cry and most importantly of all, gave me something other than medieval nuns and their considerations of christs crucified body to concentrate on lmao !!

Thank you so much for your dedication and for sharing your talent with us all - it is so so appreciated and I absolutely can’t wait for TLE3 - whenever that may be 🥰🥰🥰

Hope you enjoy a much deserved break also !!

Omg (belated) congrats on your dissertation! I hope things have improved since then but do glad TLE could bring a little levity to all those nuns 😅❤️

And thank you so much!!!

[atopearth]

Ikemen Villains Part 1 - William Rex Route

I've been curious about this game! I have to say though, I'm not really into the art style hahaha but that's fine, I felt similarly to Ikemen Prince when I first played it but I like it now lol. I'm not sure how to feel about the premise right now but it's nice to see that the heroine isn't as stressed as the other games and has more freedom?😆 I chose William so let's see how it goes~ For now, he's not very much like a villain especially with how considerate he is towards the heroine taking her to the theatre she wanted to go to and stuff like that, but as he says, villains don't go around killing people 24/7 lol. It was obvious that William was being purposely annoying to the heroine to give her an opportunity to talk to the writer she admires but lol, this guy really isn't much of a villain with how nice he is all the time haha. I think it's interesting how they hire maids who are deaf because this ensures they can't overhear things and tell others. Our villains definitely aren't really villains at all with how gentle and kind they actually are. But one thing I liked about William asking the heroine to talk about how scared she really was, was that he was always respectful and wanted her to slowly speak for herself. I guess it's sweet because you know that he has the power to command people to speak even if they don't want to but he wouldn't do that to her.

I guess one thing I agree with William is that just because you can't save everyone doesn't mean you should kill a part of yourself because of it. But it's difficult to not take in that pain and empathise sometimes and that inevitably hurts the kindest people. I understand the heroine's guilt though, because the easiest way is to ignore people's pain as if you don't see them so you can continue to focus on your own life and live happily. It's strong of the heroine to want to face the things she's ignored and to try and start with saving this one girl. I guess she is influencing William to an extent but I feel like he's never really been a villain so he's understandably prepared to save those victims of the butterfly group. I feel bad for William that his father was involved with the Golden Butterfly and even killed someone he wished to see live freely right in front of him. But I guess the worst was him having to accept such evil and use his powers to kill his own father to stop all this. I think it's kinda cute to see them develop their relationship so smoothly and gently, but at the same time, I can't really feel it haha. I do feel the heroine's curiosity towards William though. Well, I definitely didn't expect them to sleep together already! Surprisingly though, they're more cute than I thought especially with how gentle and teasing William was towards the heroine.

I think it's actually kind of sad how the heroine loves his sense of justice to commit evil because he can't stand seeing the innocent be trampled upon, but at the same time after witnessing his crimes right in front of her face, it's still difficult for her to stomach, especially when he crucified that guy. Considering the lack of presence of the other guys in this route, it was actually pretty sweet to see how concerned Ellis and Liam were towards the heroine after she fainted. Even though it's obvious that none of the guys would think to die a peaceful death, there was something solemn and saddening when thinking about William thinking he doesn't deserve any sort of happiness and shouldn't desire for things because of the way he's chosen to live his life. Cutting your hair to show your resolve always works haha, but yeah I can see why the reporter would be shocked to see the heroine do that when he believed that she was brainwashed by William. I feel bad for William that these guys are torturing the people he saved and trying to brainwash them into thinking William is evil so they can use them against him.

I think it's sad to watch William let himself be judged as a villain to free the people he saved, but seeing the heroine cover him when someone tried to stab him was even worse. Everything was resolved quite amicably especially with Bryan's article on the "truth". I have to say though, considering Bryan has no sprite, he had a pretty nice role in this story as someone who did what he thought was right and was not swayed by words but instead what he judged to be "right" and stuck to his beliefs. Honestly though, even though William is the LI here, I've actually got a soft spot for Liam instead because you can see how much he cares for the heroine. I wonder if it's something we should be prepared for, that if you choose to do "evil" in order to protect the people you care about from other evil people, that you need to acknowledge that things that are precious to you will be taken away because of those actions? Not only has the innocent little girl who was looking forward to becoming a florist hurt by stray bullets from Grimsley who was afraid of William coming for him, but now the heroine has also been held at gun point when she chose to go with him to make sure he doesn't be reckless. Lol, so I'm too poor and don't have enough coins but I do have enough gems🥲 Guess I can see whether the premium story is worth it😅 I guess it's twisted but a love where you love them so much that losing them is such a tragedy and drives you mad is a love that is worth striving for haha.

Overall, I'm not too sure how much I like this game for now. Personally, I think the premise isn't as interesting as I thought it would be and I also feel like the heroine's role is rather purposeless compared to other Ikemen games but maybe it's just me haha. Anyway, what I enjoyed about William is that his route explores the idea of sacrificing oneself to preserve the peace of others and giving them the freedom to choose the path they want to tread and to do what they choose to do, which is exactly the opposite of what his powers do, but I guess it's because of these powers that he understands how terrible it is to not have that control over yourself and your own life. However, I feel the romance was rather bland. I'm not sure if I could really feel how and why they liked each other even though I do acknowledge that William was interested in the heroine for the way she chose to live her life. But otherwise, I didn't think they really matched imo haha! I ended up really liking Liam though so I'll be looking forward to his route next!