#basic issue 21
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I'm so glad your friends are both okay. That's so horrible.
Thanks, anon. It was about a decade ago (although the incidents happened in different years), so time's marched on. They're both doing well now.
#it was actually at the same festival#i volunteered there for a year and worked there for another two#and the assaults happened in that time#it's actually part of why i left the festival#it was a bunch of artists basically descending on a regional aus town every year to create art and learn and develop#and the nature of it was that the festival wanted diverse artists to attend#particularly lgbtqi+ artists#and then did nothing to protect them once they were there#i had huge issues with it especially as at the time i was working in marketing / publicity#and felt we were marketing to audiences we would be putting in danger#it didn't help that everyone who worked at the festival was extremely young#like god#i was about 21 or 22 i think at the time and i think the festival director was only 25#and i was not very good at advocating for my own opinions although tbh i also don't think i had the vocabulary for it that i do now either#but y'know#it's given me a deeply rooted passion for artist safety#which sounds extremely uncool lol but i've worked in and out of the field ever since#a large part of my current job at the theatre company is in safe and equitable workplaces#actually right now even i'm working on a safety strategy for working with deaf actors and artists#as we're developing a new show which has a lot of them#so i've been doing a lot of training and interviewing deaf people and advocates to develop it#work's even paying for me to learn auslan which has been amazing#and like the fact that my job even exists now i think is a sign of how far we've come over the last decade#but still#probably revealing too much about my real life here right now haha
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but like on a srs note i so desperately wish to be loved in a romantic way but after the fuckery that was my last relationship and the way that whole ordeal made me feel, i am absolutely terrified to date again
#its been 2 years since i last even saw someone or hooked up or whatever and i feel like ive forgotten how to put myself out there#turns out when u spend a year with someone that pushes ur concerns aside and only pays attention when they want to get off is not good#like i never realized how hard it is for me to trust someone or even believe that im loveable bc of that#and ffs im 21 almost 22 i am young i am a spring chicken#but its still hard cause everyone around me is in long term relationships meanwhile#i dont reply back to texts bc im convinced im gonna get screwed over#so basically this is a psa to not date ppl with severe mommy issues#mine
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theres no such thing as the "good old days" but if we really put in the effort we might be able to make some good future days
#a thought i had about history class#it seemed like every lesson was like “yes it benefitted this group of people but everyone else was effectively fucked”#so yeah basically all of history had slavery and unfair class divisions and poverty and death and disease and sorrow and pain#maybe in different forms or for different reasons or affecting different people#but it was all bad in some way#when you talk about the “good old days” youre usually referring to an idealized version of the past specifically where youre privileged#most people back in the day died before they reached the age of 21#as you can clearly see weve fixed a lot of things but there are still a lot of issues#we can fix these issues to!#no revolutionary or activist ever got themselves anywhere with a doomerist mentality#worst case scenario you try really hard to make the world perfect and you fail and only make it slightly better#atleast now its slightly better!#three pigeons in a trench coat
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so-called progressives when they pick up their son from an airport at midnight after 12 hours of travel and don't even ask if they're hungry
#i love my father but man. sometimes#also didn't waste a minute getting to politics at which point i just smile and nod#is 21 too late to develop daddy issues?#because your dad's a simpering prog who won't even offer the most basic of goyslop (micky d's) after a long flight#okay i'm done now. i love my dad he's great#щ
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im gonna take back my carius event gameplay hate (i actually dont mind the way its run rn LOL finally makes me use my tp pots too) and exchange it for sanrio collab hate cuz wtffff
#stardust speaking !#making them all ssr and putting them on regular banners....@_@#paid stepup makes me........step3 Would be nice but imaging doing 3 paid steps only to Not get a ssr makes me...@_@#i think their rateup in all their gacha is good LOL or at the very least decent. but income together 3% banners etc is......??#i rly dont think the gacha part is fun LOL i like the stepups but#i think there was some 'choose a ssr' paid set they had for last anni that was sssoooo weird to me...it was priced So high#cuz the amount of stones with it but it also looked superlimiting!?T_T#just have less stones with it#i have this issue with sinojp too where Rly Good nightmares was locked behind the crystal pack a level above the 10-pull one#whicj honestly sucks? im glad global kept it at the 10#pull ones even if cmoooooonnnnnn well global put almost everything in gacha after so LOL...#sinojp has basically everytjing in banners now too ofc#anyway its too bad cuz the first sanrio collab was cool since it was a regular event#a3s sanrio cards were ssoooooo cute too T_T gbf automatically wins since collab units are all free#+ bringing cinnamoroll&pompompurin to battles is hilarious#unhappy#this isnt all targeted at the sanrio collab this has been brewing for a while LOL but having all 21 on 3% banners is.................#(ignoring the paid stepup)
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can someone come rip out my spine, crack it like a whip, then put it back please?
it’d be very appreciated
#i don’t normally have back problems#but this last week i’ve basically been unable to bend over painlessly#i’m 21 i shouldn’t have back issues lmao#i dunno i'm just rambling at this point
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the blues could be so good if they had good goaltending. who said that
#don’t wanna be Crucified#anyway. love binner but when he’s the starter with basically joe nhl as his backup. we have no shot#look at 21-22 when husso was the backup. bro was as good if not better at times than binnington#and they managed to get to the second round and go 6 against the avs#and admittedly there were more issues this szn than JUST goaltending. but they could be suchhhh a better team w good goalies#blues
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I'm totally in support of the writers in theory but I'm trying to understand more of what you're fighting for because I've seen some people on twitter claim writers make more money a week than most of us make in a month so I'm trying to understand what the issue is. Also if that info is accurate. This is a genuine question. Not trying to have a "gotcha moment". I really want to hear from a writer.
people have always had wild misconceptions about how much a writer earns because of their lack of understanding of how the industry actually works. there's so many posts about how "you guys make 5k a week. what more do you want?!" yeah...let's do some math on that.
5k a week for 14 weeks (and that's a long room. a lot of rooms these days are 8-10 weeks. those are the dreaded mini-rooms we're trying to kill) is $70,000. for roughly three months of work. you'd think we're cooking with gas...BUT HOLD UP. that's gross! let's see everything that has to come out of that check:
10% to our agent
10% to our manager
5% to our entertainment attorney
5% to our business manager (not everyone has one but a lot of us do. i do, so that's literally 30% immediately off the top of every check)
most of these breakdowns ive seen downplay taxes severely. someone made one that says writers pay 5% in taxes and i would like to ask them "in what universe?". that doesn't even cover state taxes. the way taxes work in the industry is really complicated, but the short of it is most of us have companies for tax reasons so we aren't taxed like people on w2s/1099. if we did we'd be even more fucked. basically every production hires a writer's company instead of the writer as an individual. so they engage our companies for our services and then at the end of the year we (the company) pay taxes as corporations or llcs (depending on what the writer chose to go with). my company is registered as a "corporation" so let's go with those rates. california's corporate rate is 9% and the federal corporate tax rate is 21%. there's other expenses with running a business like fees and other shit so my business managers/accountants/bookkeepers have recommended i save between 35-40% of everything i make for when tax season comes.
you see where the math is at already??? 25-30% in commissions and then 35-40% in taxes. on the lower end you're at THE VERY LEAST looking at 60% of that check gone. 70% worst case scenario. suddenly those $70,000 people claim we make are actually down to $28,000 as the take home pay. and that's if you're only losing 60%. it goes down to $21,000 if it's 70%.
lets pretend you worked a long 14 week room (that's the longest room ive ever worked btw) and let's also be generous and say you only have 60% in expenses so the take home is $28,000. average rent in los angeles is around $2,800-$3,000. if you're paying $2,800 in rent that means you need AT LEAST $4,000 a month to have a semi decent life since you need to also cover groceries, gas, medical expenses, toiletries, phone, internet, utilities, rental and car insurances, car payments, student loan payments, etc etc etc. and again, this is los angeles. everything is more expensive so you're living BARE BONES on 4k. and these are numbers as a single person. im not even taking having children into account. so those $28,000 you take home might cover your life for 6-7 months. 3 of which you're in the room working. the reality is that once that room ends, you might not work in a room again for 6-9-12 months (i have friends whose last jobs were over 18 months ago) and you now only have about 3 months left of savings to hold you over. we have to make that money stretch while we do all the endless free development we do for studios and until we get our next paying job. so...3 months left of enough money to cover your expenses -> possible 9 months of not having a job. this is how writers end up on food stamps or applying to work at target.
this is why we're fighting for better rates and better residuals. residuals were a thing writers used to rely on to get them through the unemployment periods. residual checks have gone down from 20k to $0.03 cents. im not joking.
they've decimated our regular pay and then destroyed residuals. we have nothing left. so don't believe it when they tell you writers are being greedy. writers are simply fighting to be able to make a middle class living. we're not asking them to become poor for our sake. we're asking for raises that amount to 2% of their profit. TWO PERCENT. this is a fight for writing even being a career in five years instead of something you do on the side while you work retail to pay your bills. if you think shows are bad now imagine when your writer has to do it as a hobby because they need a real job to pay their bills and support a family. (which none of us can currently afford to have btw)
support writers. stop being bootlickers for billion dollar corporations. stop caring about fictional people more than you care about the real people that write them. if we don't win this fight it truly is game over. the industry as you know it is gone.
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Thoughts on a ‘the bodyguard’ AU with leon and reader BUT!!!! Reader is a superstar who is much more “sexualized” and basically records soft porn for their music videos. at first leon thinks he's going to deal with another girl who thinks shes all hot shit only to find out shes bound by contract and only wanted to sing and preform not do.. this. But shes wary of Leon bc she thinks Leon thinks can get her in bed.
Even better.. if shes a virgin… 👀
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re4 bodyguard!leon kennedy x famous!fem reader
— a oneshot (request)
warnings: MDNI, 18+, virgin reader (but not naive or inexperienced), leon being a big soft bodyguard, reader has insecurities, some mentions of body issues, mentions of anxiety around cameras, readers parents are assholes, everyone that’s not leon or reader is kind of an asshole (sorry), mentions of masturbating, praise, pet names (baby, sweet girl, etc), small age gap (reader is 21 & leon is 27), lots of kissing & praise, aftercare, soft!dom leon makes another appearance, sub!reader, oral (m receiving), and unprotected sex.
“she wants to argue. wants to refute the idea of even having a bodyguard. it’s ridiculous. even if stepping into a crowd with cameras pushed in her face and flashing lights makes her heart rate increase, not in the way she’d prefer. she waits for him to show up, she doesn’t even know who her agent hired but she’d rather hide and cower in fear then stand at her door like an idiot. finally, a knock at her door. she opens it without a second thought. the most devastating man on the other side of it, her resolve slips as he looks her up and down with a small click of his tongue, “nice to meet you, i’m leon.” and she seems to forget the reason she was arguing to begin with.”
— or reader gets a bodyguard and unknowingly signs up for more then protection in the process
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an: HOLY SHIT UR A GENIUS <333 thank you for the request. i’ve been waiting for this, hopefully you enjoy it. i am a sucker for the bodyguard trope but throw in the fact that she’s a virgin and it’s almost like the bodyguard :,) jesus, y’all are geniuses. i’m sorry that this is so long in advance. take it as a peace offering for taking so long.
she has no idea what she signed up for.
not in the slightest.
she has no idea who her agent hired for protection but after her stunt last week in front of the paparazzi, she’s willing to bet it’s someone who knows what he’s doing.
after leaving her house last week, going to the strip to shop a little and having a day to herself. she got bombarded by the paparazzi for no reason, other then just simply being in the limelight and having cameras shoved in her direction.
she tried to avoid the millions of people with cameras, flashing bulbs and the annoying click of the cameras lens with their annoying and useless questions. one person in particular got a little too close and…
her anxiety spiked causing her to smack the persons camera out of their hand and cause him sending backwards on the sidewalk with the persons broken camera. she didn’t act rationally, there wasn’t room for that anymore. not when she was as famous as she was.
not when she closed her eyes she could hear the clicking of the cameras and the flashing of the lights and everything but her heart pounding her ribcage ceased to exist.
she hated it, she never wanted to be half-naked on magazine spreads, showing off her body on stage. she just wanted to sing for christ’s sake, wanted to write and preform the songs she’d written for years. but her fucking parents…her stupid agent. she hated all the people around her in her career secretly who made her into some sexualized object for people to gawk and stare at.
she felt like a circus act sometimes, not even a world renowned singer. she hated it, she really hated it. and not to mention, she’s a virgin. it’s like her career and the people around her are mocking her, taunting her with the idea of sex but not letting it within her reach.
it’s not like she still wanted to be a virgin at twenty-one. she didn’t but she couldn’t trust a single soul in her world, in her life that she could even begin to consider sharing that part of herself with.
so as she paced in the foyer of her house, waiting for this so called bodyguard that her agent hired to arrive, she couldn’t help but hate the idea. sure, she had anxiety with cameras and sure, she was unsafe every time she went out because of her status to the public.
and the fact that her agent didn’t even ask her before getting her a body guard, going behind her back and just doing it. another nail in the metaphorical coffin that was sure to send her spiraling one day. she ran a hand over her face and checked her apple watch on her wrist.
she didn’t wanna even think about the person that her agent hired. probably getting her someone who has more muscle mass then brains, and doesn’t think before he shoots a gun. in her case, if that’s it, she could just fire him.
a smile slid onto her face at the prospect, even though she really did need protecting. she just hoped it didn’t come back to bite her in the ass later. that was the last thing she needed in her already hectic life.
the doorbell rang and she smoothed out her yoga pants and baby tee, going to open the door. almost waiting to be disappointed when she opened the large piece of wood. but to no avail, she opened it and on the other side stood the most devastatingly handsome man she had ever laid her eyes on.
he seemed to be eyeing her the same way she was with him, she was suddenly very self conscious about her choice of clothing. almost wanting to run back up the stairs to her bedroom to change, his hard blue eyes scanning her from her feet to her eyes like he was analyzing her.
“nice to meet you, i’m leon.” he says with a small ghost of a smile on his features, she swallows and doesn’t know why she forgets her name all of a sudden. this cannot be her bodyguard, please tell me this is her agents idea of a cruel prank.
she nods and says her name, barely getting the words out. she tries to regain the confidence that she had before she opened the door, but it’s lost and she can no longer find it. “i know who you are,” he says with a small chuckle, “i’m sorry i’m late. they wouldn’t let me in at the gates.” he says with a small sigh as if reliving the moment in his head.
she side steps and lets him in, “yeah,” she laughs nervously as she watches him step past her and into her house. “they’re kind of paid to keep people out, not let them in.” she says with a small laugh that sounds nothing like herself. she shuts the door behind them both, letting him look around the interior of her house.
“i suppose their just doing their job then.” he says with a small amused click of his tongue as he moves through the entryway of her house. she stands behind him awkwardly, taking him in while he’s not looking.
he has to be six feet tall at least, or close to it. the suit he’s wearing doesn’t do him enough justice, his muscles are barely straining underneath the fabric. and how he smells…he’s like a cooling mix of mint and some other fragrance she can’t get a handle on.
“i suppose they are.” she says awkwardly as she makes her way past him and trails herself into the kitchen, letting him follow behind her. his shoes thudding against the hardwood polished flooring, making her heart pick up for a different reason entirely.
she grabs a drink from her fridge, trying to distract her brain and her eyes from the gorgeous man a few feet away from her. “would you like a drink?” she asks with a small nervous smile, keeping her eyes trained on the interior of the fridge rather than him. god, he just made her wet. just his presence was enough to make her feel horny.
he shakes his head, waving a hand dismissively, “i’m alright.” she nods and grabs a soda for herself out of her fully stocked fridge and shuts it behind her, cracking the soda and taking a sip. she manages to take a peek at him, he’s still looking around her house.
what could be so interesting about her house? she thinks to herself as she shifts on her feet, just watching him as she leans against her marble counter and sips her soda. his eyes seem to catch a piece of art in the kitchen, that was one of the perks about being subjected to being famous.
the art and things she had acquired, she had collected some pieces like trophies. just to prove to herself that not every part of being famous and having a lot of money was so terrible.
“you like art?” she asks softly as she shifts behind him, sipping on her soda again. she watched his blue eyes trace over the contours of the canvas in the kitchen. she just watches him take it in and devour it with his eyes.
she was kinda jealous of the painting.
just for a split second before he spoke and snapped her out of it, “i have a taste for it.” he says demurely, looking back over at her and away from the art. “so,” he eyes her up and down with those glacier blue eyes.
she swallows and shifts on her feet, looking back at him. “so?” she says with a small nervous smile. he sighs, “things are gonna be different from now on and i’m assuming you know that.” he says with a small brow raise, sticking his hands in his slack pockets.
she swallows and nods, “yeah, uhm, probably. my agent said that she gave you a rundown of everything that’s been going on.” she says nervously as she drinks more of her soda again and ducks her down for a split second. meeting his eyes was dangerous, it was like he could see right through her.
“exactly.” he clicks his tongue and moseys through the large kitchen, almost like he’s inspecting it as he talks, “i’m going to be with you all the time. i’ll escort you to places, even public outings that are simple. not another paparazzi fiasco will happen when i’m around.” he says firmly but his tone was gentle and smooth.
her cheeks blush a deep shade of scarlet, “you…heard about that?” she swallows as she looks back up at him from where he stood on the opposite side of her kitchen. he nods, a ghost of a smirk on his face, “who didn’t hear about that?” he says with a hint of amusement in his voice.
she had to give him that, it was on every publication after it happened. saying that she was violent towards the press when she simply just freaked out. cameras being shoved in her face, the flashing lights, the clicking of lenses, she hated it.
“that will never happen again, paparazzi will be controlled and away from you. put to a minimum, i’ll make sure of that.” he said with a tap of his fingers to the countertop of her kitchen. she sighs and nods, her mouth dry at just his presence alone. “i’ll protect you, okay? you’ve got nothing to worry about.” he said firmly.
she found comfort in leon’s words, more comfort then she should. she liked him already, maybe a little too much.
two weeks later, it was proving harder and harder to be around leon. she liked his presence, he was gentle and he never scolded her. he didn’t put pressure on her like everyone else did. he was simply doing his job and protecting her, like he was hired to do.
but she couldn’t ignore certain things about him, things that made her core heat up. he would always have his fingers splayed out on his thighs when he sat, and it was hard to not let her mind wander around. just imagining his hands on her, rubbing over her skin and coaxing noises out of her.
then there was the matter of him coming to her shoots, he would always keep his eyes trained on her. and seeing him and his eyes on her when she was basically wearing nothing for a shoot, it was beyond torture and it was like having another piece of sex dangled in front of her that she couldn’t have.
over time, in the next two weeks, she kept doing it for him. usually she’d have to fake acting sexy, fake her confidence but with his eyes on her. his blue irises trailing every movement, it was so easy to just pretend it was the two of them, fantasize for a small moment. it was the only way she got through shoots anymore.
as another week passed, then another, the constant presence of leon whether she went shopping was there. he was always watching her, watching other people. his gaze was so gentle, so firm and yet so cold. like he could snap someone’s neck with just a simple look. it was exciting and thrilling, making her uncomfortably aroused.
and whenever that happened, she went home, dismissed him for the day and went to her bedroom. she would slide her hand down her pants and just fantasize about him, his strong hands, his sharp jaw and the way his tone sometimes became gentle out of nowhere.
she would imagine that maybe one day, he would bend her over her kitchen counter, fuck her until she was a crying mess. he’d be gentle, but also rough and firm when it counted. she imagined all these things with her hands rubbing at herself.
it was becoming so unbearable to just be in his presence these days, he was just doing his job but it was so annoying. so annoying to be a virgin still and have a piece of eye candy basically follow you everywhere and always have his eyes on you.
the universe was taunting her again with her career, with her fame and she deeply despised it. she hoped secretly that she would just be put out of her misery sooner. she didn’t wanna be a virgin anymore.
one day, after hours at a shoot and grueling work, she went back to her house. leon escorted her back and she dismissed herself to go shower and clean up.
she needed to wash the filth of her career off of her body in one way or another. she fucking hated that she was forced into doing something by her parents and agent just so she could make money.
money was not everything. that was a proven fact.
after she showered, changed her clothes and did her skincare routine. she went downstairs, going into the kitchen to grab a soda. she needed calories, she didn’t give a fuck anymore. her mom, her dad and her agent could all shove it.
“a soda? it’s 4pm?” leon said from behind her at the island, his suited muscular body sitting on a stool and scrolling on his phone. she sighed, popping the can of soda open with a hiss, “your not my keeper. i can drink soda.” she says with a small frown.
“i personally don’t care what you do as long as it’s safe. i was just making an observation.” he says with a small ghost of a smirk down at his phone. why does he have to be so hot, this isn’t fair. she thinks to herself as she sips on her soda and nods.
“sorry, i’m just…” she starts and walks towards the marble island that separated them in the lavish kitchen. “i just don’t like being told what to do in every aspect of my life, i get a little touchy.” she says with a small sigh, brushing her damp hair over her shoulder.
he sits his phone down on the island, looking at her, “who tells you what to do? your parents?” he says with furrowed brows, he was almost confused. like he couldn’t understand why a 21 year old like herself was getting bossed around and told what to do.
“try my parents, my agent, and all of the people i employ.” she says with a small frown as she sips on her soda, looking down at the marble counter top of the island.
he sighs and shifts on the stool he’s perched on, “they’re all controlling?” he asks with a small look of confusion on his lovely features. she swallows back a little bit of her nerves, “i didn’t want this.” she says honestly.
she doesn’t feel like she has to hide everything from him all the time, not after he’s been around her a month, almost two. “i didn’t want to be…this.” she gestures to the house around him, she looked up at him and unflinchingly met his strong blue gaze.
she continued, “all i’ve ever wanted was to do things my way. my career, my life. i have never had a choice. my parents, my label and my agent have all made sure of that.” she feels her mouth drying up as she continues to speak. like all the things that have been pent up were pouring out of her.
and leon just listened, nodding when he wanted to or when it was needed. he wasn’t being paid to be her therapist, or anything other then her bodyguard. but he was listening, he was understanding her. her frustrations and the things that made her tick, made her upset.
“so let me get this straight.” he says after she explains and basically rants to him, raising a hand as his eyes shut in frustration and in something that border-lined on concern.
“you’ve just wanted to sing, to write music and preform. but your parents, your label and…your agent they’ve all made you into this sex symbol just because of the money?” he says with a small open to his blue eyes again, they were so powerful and untouchable, just like him. no wonder he was her bodyguard.
she nods with a dry mouth, sipping on her soda again, forgetting it was beside her on the counter. “pretty much.” she said with a sad laugh, shifting on her bare feet against the cool tile of the kitchen.
his face took on one of frustration, sadness and he almost looked pained. he didn’t pity her, didn’t say sorry. he just pressed his lips together into a line, “your they’re daughter.” he says in a cold tone.
it’s one she had never heard before but it had an affect, the shiver up her spine beneath her clothes. the goosebumps on her arms and the pulsing of her clit. it was having an affect.
she closes her eyes for a beat, blowing out some air and just said, “i know.” and she accepted it. she had accepted it for a while now, that maybe some things were just never going to change.
and she was just going to be expected to live with it.
the revelation to leon had brought forth changes, changes that she didn’t ever know she needed. and she should’ve done it sooner, told someone on the outside that had no idea who she was what she desired, what she longed for.
freedom.
he was different now, he was more…attentive.
he would stick by her side until the very last second at shoots, music videos, anything that required her to be half naked. he was there, standing right beside her.
he would even encourage her, whisper things when her makeup crew or clothing people weren’t around. he was even rubbing his hand over her elbows, shoulders and a firm hand on her lower back to steer her.
people wrote it off as him just being a very good and protective bodyguard. but they both knew deep down that things had shifted between them.
it was almost friendship, almost, except for the longing deep in her gut. his touches were innocent but would make her body pulse and her skin heat. it was dangerous to be so close to him sometimes.
she couldn’t doubt that if someone were to take her virginity, she’d want it to be him. she’d imagine often how gentle he would be, yet domineering like he was in his role as her bodyguard.
she had no doubt in her mind that if the opportunity ever presented itself, she’d have to take it.
she’d let him, the thought didn’t petrify her anymore. he had not spoken to a soul about what she shared about her career, about her life and what she really and truly wanted. she knew she could trust him.
she’d just have to wait and deeply hope that he’d try something, anything that she could latch onto where he was concerned.
she was too fucking nervous to make the first move, she didn’t know what that would even be? kiss him? palm his erection? she’d had sexual encounters before but they never went below the belt.
but she knew that she had just as much impact on him as he did with her. she had seen that subtle shift in the next two weeks after she had confided in him in the kitchen.
his stare lingered on certain parts of her body for far too long to be considered friendly. she never caught his stare, she wanted him to look. and it felt good to be practically eye-fucked by him, it gave her a sense of confidence that she’d never had before.
it was freeing.
one day, she was feeling like a taut rubber band. like every gentle touch and feeling of him being in her vicinity was driving that feeling in between her legs in agony.
it physically pained her from how aroused she was, her nipples were hard in her bra and she felt like she was going to burst into flames if he delicately touched her elbow or any part of her skin again.
it was torture.
she felt like she needed at least to masturbate like a hundred times before the feeling ended. before she could ease that ache, she was just sitting in her bedroom, watching her flatscreen on the wall mounted in front of her.
she rubbed her thighs together, she was hoping to soothe the ache there. she bites her lip until it could almost bleed.
she wasn’t expecting leon to still be here, she was waiting for him to go home like he did everyday, waiting for him to leave her. she was almost desperately waiting just so she could stick her hand in between her legs and satisfy the ache there.
but no, he looked in the bedroom, leaning against the doorframe. she kept her eyes locked on the tv, but she could feel his glacier like gaze on her. she kept her back leaned against the headboard, pressing her thighs together as she watched the tv show in front of her.
“i thought you went home already?” weak excuse and question on her part, she didn’t know if she wanted him to go so she could alienate the ache herself or if she wanted him to stick around to see where this might lead.
he chuckled lowly and shook his head, “nah, sorry pretty girl. i’m sticking around a little later. why so urgent for me to leave?” he says with a small raise of his brow in her direction.
pretty girl? fuck me. she thinks to herself as she sputters for an answer, her lips parting. “uhm, i just…i’m not urgent. you…you just usually are gone by now.” she says softly as she looks at him, meeting his gaze.
she presses her thighs together on instinct even though it did nothing to get rid of the dripping tension in her panties.
“oh? so it’d have nothing to do with you touching yourself now would it?” he says with a almost feline smile, she felt her eyes go wide and her body freeze. how the hell did he know about that?
“i-i…” she tries to speak, to ignore the way her cheeks were heating up in embarrassment or the way her lower stomach churned with arousal that he knew.
“i heard you last week after you thought i left.” he says lowly as he slowly saunters into her room a little more, rounding the bed until he was standing at the very end of the queen mattress, his gaze trained on her, his movements almost primal.
she would almost pinch herself, she had to be dreaming. this wasn’t real, it couldn’t be real.
“i-“ she tried to speak again, to justify what he heard, to maybe get some kind of excuse or explanation out. he stopped her again, planting one of his hands on the surface of her mattress. “you moaned my name.” he says in a dark voice, his eyes practically eating her alive.
she felt naked under his gaze, felt her skin shiver and heat up within the same breath as she parted her lips a little.
“so tell me, pretty girl, what about me turns you on enough to where you feel the need…to stick your hands down into your pants and cum all over your fingers?” he says with a small predatory raise of his brow, he leans back and rounds to her side of the bed on her mattress.
she couldn’t think of just one thing to answer his question, she had so many things. so many things that she could say but the lust and arousal in her underwear was fogging her virgin brain. “everything.” she breathed out as she looked up at him as he stood above her on where she was sitting on her bed.
he licks his lips and his pupils dilate a little bit, “everything, huh?” he says with a smirk, sitting down on the bed by her. his hand resting on her knee, rubbing small circles on the skin there, causing goosebumps to crawl up her legs and make in between her legs pulse.
“yes.” she breathes softly, almost gasping for air. this sounds nothing like her, so desperate and wanting. this was the opportunity and she had to take it, she moved forward as she met him, her face so close to his as his hand went up from her knee up to her thigh, gently squeezing and rubbing.
“go ahead, baby.” he said in a low rasp as he saw her looking between his beautiful blue eyes and his pink lips. she licked her own lips and nodded slowly, almost in a trance. he was giving her permission, he was letting her kiss him.
she moved her head forward and pressed her lips to his, softly moving her lips against his as his grip on her thigh got tighter. the kiss started to heat up, his tongue started moving against hers and she grasped at his shirt, her small hands grasping the fabric like a tether as they continued to sloppily make out.
she couldn’t find it in herself to care as the tv show went on and played softly in the background as she kept kissing him. she was desperate and trying to subtly get him closer to her, trying to pull herself on-top of him.
he caught onto that, letting her move onto him, straddling his lap as she felt his bulge rub up against the hem of her shorts. she came up for air but kept kissing him, his hands holding onto her hips in a gentle but firm grip. she wasn’t going to be moving anymore or going anywhere.
finally, he pulled away and rasped near her ear, “tell me what you want? hmm, pretty girl? what can i give you?” he whispers against the skin of her ear in a soft rasp.
she shivers and lets out a small whine, “i want…want…” she breathes and she’s desperate, she moves her hips down against his erection, trying to get him close to her.
“you want my cock pretty girl?” he says softly in her ear, rubbing the soft skin in between her shirt and shorts, down to her ass, cupping both cheeks in his hands and squeezing. the words going into her ear and drifting around like music to her ears.
she mewls, his hands on her ass making her press down on his hardened erection more. she nodded slowly and licked her lips, he pulled his head away a little to fully look at her face. her lips were puffy and swollen from their kissing, her eyes hazy and diluted with lust.
“where do you want it?” he rasps softly as he moves on of his hands from her ass to cup her chin, his thumb rubbing over her bottom lip. “you want it in your mouth?” he says with a soft smirk, completely 180 from before.
he then doesn’t give her a chance to respond or react before he moves his hand down to her shorts, cupping in between her legs. “or in that pretty pussy you have?” he says. she whines and tries to move against his hand, he tuts her and moves his hand away. “choose baby, i’m being patient.” he whispers in a low rumble.
“both.” she mumbles in a small heave of breath, her chest rising and falling beneath her shirt fast. his eyes dilate more if it’s even possible, she can barely see the blue in his eyes anymore.
he licks his lips, she could feel his dick twitch in his pants beneath her, she held back a whine and swallowed. “mmm, both? i think that can be arranged, princess.” he says softly as he looks at her with a soft grin.
she feels her panties get wetter if it was even possible at this point. he seems to toss the idea around in his brain for a second, one hand still squeezing her ass and the other rubbing over her stomach over her shirt.
“get naked, baby. then get on your knees.” he says in a soft demand. she shakily climbs off of him, his hands falling away as her feet hit the ground of her bedroom in front of him. she keeps eye contact with him as she moves her hands to the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head.
her skin kissing the cool air of the room, her nipples hardening further beneath the material of her bra. he keeps his eyes on her the whole time, practically devouring her with just a simple gaze.
that was incentive enough to continue doing what he said, the promise of what she was going to do after she got naked made her tremble in arousal a little.
she slipped off her cotton shorts next, letting them pathetically fall to the floor by her feet and her discarded shirt. and now was the time when he would see everything, he wouldn’t see the version that he’d seen before.
he’d see all of her in her purest form, so raw and real that it almost made her legs shake where she stood. he nodded once at her, silently telling her to continue.
she licked her lips and reached behind her, unclasping her bra like she’d done this a million times before. she lets the material fall to the floor again with the rest of her discarded clothes. she could’ve sworn she heard him groan when he saw her breasts.
she didn’t give him much time to recover as she stripped her underwear down her legs and was completely barren and standing before him.
he muttered a ‘fuck’ beneath his breath and grabbed a pillow from her bed, sitting it on the ground in front of his legs. she’d given blow jobs before, but nothing like this.
nothing like leon looking at her like she was the only thing that seemed to matter in this moment. this went beyond protection, beyond his job description and beyond anything they both could comprehend.
she got down on her knees in front of him, her knees kissing the pillow as she felt him reach down and cup her chin, bringing her gaze up towards him.
“your in good hands now, pretty girl. i’ll give you what you want. and i don’t expect anything in return, okay?” he says with his unwavering gaze locked on hers. she nods in his grip, his thumb going back to her bottom lip and pushing his thumb in between her lips and teeth.
she understands, her arousal pooling messily in between her thighs as she kneels on the pillow before him. she sucks generously on the pad of his thumb, taking the whole thing into her mouth, swirling her tongue on it a little.
“fuck, baby. so messy.” he whispers in a low rasp as he watches in amazement as you suck and lick at his thumb like it was his cock. he pulls it out of your mouth with a small pop, smearing your saliva all over your lips. “so pretty, princess. i promised you my cock.” he muses lowly.
she can’t think or say anything, fearing the only thing at this point to come out of her mouth would be whines and whimpers. he undoes his belt on his slacks, lifting his hips to pull both the boxers and the slacks down to where his cock springs free against his stomach.
fuck, even his cock was beautiful. she licked her lips on instinct and saw the little bead of precum at the tip, swallowing her nerves she moved her head over it. pressing a kiss to the tip which made him emit a small noise bordering on a groan and a moan, she kept pressing kisses to the tip before licking at the vein that ran from the base to the head. 
“oh, pretty girl…such a tease.” he drawls in a low panting breath above her. she feels her practically leak down her legs at this point, his words making her clench around nothing.
she licks at the tip before hollowing her cheeks and sucking him into her mouth, her head bobbing slowly. she felt his hands go into her hair and hold her head gently almost guiding her as she kept her mouth and head moving on his cock.
“fuck, just like…fuck…that.” he moans as he looks down at her, her head moving as steadily as she can, raising her hand to stroke what she can’t fit in her mouth. sucking on him like a lollipop, he lightly fists her hair, his nails lightly scratching her scalp.
she moans around his cock, her jaw aching but finding the pain worth it as she keeps trying to pleasure him. she looks up at him, making eye contact as she flutters her lashes, removing her hand and taking all of him into her mouth as she gags softly, ignoring the pain in her jaw and throat.
“oh god…such a dirty girl, you like having my cock in your mouth, baby?” he groans as she fists her hair a little tighter, she nods around his cock, moaning softly against it. he hisses at the feeling.
“so fucking close, princess. gonna cum in that pretty mouth and then…gonna cum in that pretty pussy.” he growls as she keeps up her pace with her head, basically deep throating him as the head of his cock meets the back of her throat.
she could come at just his words alone at this point, her pussy aching painfully and dripping down the inside of her thighs. she is determined at this point to let him finish inside of her mouth, she finds herself actually wanting his cum to slide down her throat.
with just a few more bobs of her head, he’s cumming into her mouth with a loud moan, gripping at her hair. seeing him come apart by just her mouth was enough to make her nerves disappear, he was so wrecked from just her mouth alone and it made her pussy tingle.
she eagerly swallowed his cum, swallowing all of it and pulling away from his cock with a small pop. he reached down with his thumb and wiped some of the saliva and his cum off of her lip and pushed it in her mouth. “mmm, good girl, baby.” he praises.
he gave her a second to gather herself before lifting her softly off of the pillow on the ground and laying her down on the bed. she hits her mattress and her comforter with a soft thud and bounces a little as he stands where she was just kneeling, kicking the pillow to the side by his feet.
he starts unbuttoning his shirt, getting fully undressed and kicking his shoes and socks off. his clothes joining her discarded ones on the floor. he then lets his blue eyes rake over her, looking from how hard her nipples are to the way your pussy is practically leaking onto the sheets below you.
he just can’t help himself, not when your involved. “baby, i’m gonna ask you something and please be honest with me.” he says in a soft but firm voice as he kneels in between her thighs, brushing some of her hair out of her face.
she just nods as she licks her puffy lips, letting him ask his question and giving him the go ahead that it was okay to ask.
“has anyone fucked you? ever?” he says with a small look over her eyes and the way her cheeks heated up to a perfect pink again. she shakes her head, “no, i’m a virgin. i’ve…i’ve done things but ive never…” she trails off and hopes that answer is good enough to satisfy him.
he groans and shakes his head, “jesus, princess.” he says with a low rasp as he leans over and presses a kiss to her cheek. “i’ll have to take extra care of you then, huh?” he says with a small smile against her lips, pressing a delicate kiss there.
she nods slowly, “i’ve trusted you enough to let you.” she whispers as she looks into his blue eyes, they were connected and yet they weren’t. the way his body came over hers and just protected her from the onslaught of nerves that bubbled beneath the surface.
his blue eyes soften and he nods slowly, the hand that’s not propping himself up by her head moves to cradle her cheek in a loving manner. “i know, baby. i’m gonna take such good care of you. make sure it’s nice for you.” he says with a ghost of a smile on his divine features.
she nods slowly, keeping eye contact as he reaches in between their naked bodies, grabbing his cock and rubbing it in between her slick and wet folds. she gasps softly when it catches her clit. “if it hurts,” he uses his other hand, balancing back on his knees above her on the bed.
he grabs her hand by her side, using the hand that he’s not stroking himself with to intertwine his fingers with hers. he lifts it by her head and leans forward again, his forehead resting against hers, “you squeeze three times on my hand. okay? and i’ll stop.” he says softly as he just lets his eyes flutter open and shut.
she nods in understanding, he continues to run his cock through her wet folds and coating his cock in her arousal. he presses a soft kiss to her lips and slowly notches the tip of his cock against her entrance.
she bites her lip in anticipation, waiting for the stretch and waiting for the pain that her friends had talked about for their first times. “relax. don’t tense up or it’ll hurt more.” he says softly as if he can read her mind.
she sighs softly against his lips and deeply inhales and exhales, attempting to relax her body and the hot rush of her blood beneath the skin.
he finally sticks the tip into her entrance, the stretch isn’t there yet, she can feel it. she can feel the burning fire in her belly. she doesn’t squeeze his hand that’s intertwined with hers on the bed, she just holds it and waits for him to slide in an inch, then another inch, and the burning is there.
it’s a stretch, it doesn’t hurt…not yet.
he keeps sliding in slowly but surely to make sure she’s okay, make sure she can take him. she takes slow breaths, letting his own mingle with hers in the small space between their lips. she feels him push more until he’s bottomed out within her.
if it wasn’t for his heavy breathing or the little aching stretch in her hymen, she wouldn’t have even known he was inside of her fully. “jesus…god…” he mumbles soft curses as he hovers his lips over hers.
“your pussy is gonna be the death of me. i swear to god.” he mumbles in a low groan as he just stayed still inside of her, the words making her clench instantly around him, he hisses and squeezes her hand, “don’t do that, or i’ll cum.” he grips.
she swallows and tries to ignore how he’s letting her grow accustomed to him inside of her, letting his dick stretch her out and make room for him. after a few minutes and just the sounds of their heavy breathing between them, she nods slowly.
“you can move. i’ll squeeze your hand if…if it hurts.” she manages to get out through a shallowed breath, he nods slowly. taking that as a sign to move his hips that are pressed against hers.
and god, help her. she was going to cum within minutes. the second he moved his hips, pulling out almost all the way and plunging back in, a steady pace that burned only slightly. the burn turned into pleasure as he kept moving his hips at a steady place, her moans soft and echoing through her bedroom.
she needed more, soon enough the heat within her became an insatiable desire. she needed it, craved it and she couldn’t believe she had denied herself of something so amazing for so long.
“deeper…more…” she moaned out as her eyes flutter shut and she gripped his intertwined hand beside her head. he almost growled against her lips, but not denying her, not for one second.
he lifts her legs, putting them around his hips and he grabs a pillow off of her bed, slipping it under her hips and then resuming his movements, only this time it was deeper and harder and he was hitting the spot her own fingers could never reach.
“leon!” she whined as she tilted her head back, he growled into her neck, pressing a kiss on her jaw as he groaned and slapped his hips repeatedly against hers. she’d be so sore tomorrow but it’d be so worth it.
“good…doing so good for me princess.” he says lowly in a whisper against her ear, goosebumps that shattered and battled with the climax rising in her belly. it had never felt like this before, felt so overwhelming and consuming.
she was so full of him, so drunk on his cock and the way it was hitting her g-spot every single time. god, she would build an alter for him after this or give him a raise. he deserved it.
the praise melted her brain and her pussy as she kept her eyes fluttering open and shut, her back arching into his. her hard nipples brushing against his chest as he pumped into her ruthlessly.
“fuck, so fucking…” he groaned into her ear and snapped his hips as if it would kill him if he didn’t make her cum, like it was his life’s mission. she whined, “cum…gonna cum…yes…” she cried loudly as he paused his movements and moved back, letting go of her hand and putting her thighs back until they were flush against her abdomen.
he hooked her ankles over his shoulders, putting her in a mating press and nailing her against the mattress. she almost screamed in pleasure, her skin was hot and she felt like she could burst into flames.
this angle…it was so delicious and she felt her climax get closer and closer…until…
“yes…” she moaned out loudly in a whine, her pussy clamping around his cock and cumming with a shudder, small pitiful noises that sounded nothing like her. he groaned and licked around her jaw and nipped, fucking her through her orgasm to chase his own.
“where do you want me to come baby?” he mumbles into her ear, a low drawl that made her pussy clench more. “inside…” she needed him too, she needed to feel it, just once. just one time.
he nipped at her jaw near her ear, “dirty little princess.” he drawls and she clenched the sheets between her hands beneath her. she whined, he just kept pumping into her, her trembling and shaking body was trying to hold onto the feeling.
“shh, im almost there sweet girl.” he says softly in a rasp as he pumps more and more until finally, he comes inside of her, his body slackening a little bit as if the last bit of his energy has been drained from him.
she can feel the warmth of his cum invading her womb and her pussy, it feels like heaven and she don’t know how she could not want to feel that. she saw him move back, pressing a kiss to her cheek, then her forehead and then her panting and flushed lips. his blue eyes drew back and he brushed some hair out of her face, gentle and tender she leaned into it.
“your all sweaty.” he says with a soft voice as his blue eyes rake over her face and her neck, to her bare collarbones. “here, hold on baby.” he says gently as he leans up onto his knees, carefully pulling his cock out of her entrance with a small pop.
“fuck me…” he mumbled as he looks down at his cum leaking out of her, their combined fluids leaking onto the crevice of her ass. he gently moved the pillow back from under her hips, causing her to mumble a groan.
“shhh, i got you, princess.” he says softly as he moves her legs back down to be comfortable and not pressed against her abdomen anymore. she smiles softly, her body melting into her sheets and comforter.
he gets up and grabs his boxers from the floor, pulling them over his stuff and depleting erection. he walks towards what she assumed was her bathroom attached to her bedroom. he grabbed a washcloth on the side of her sink, wetting it and coming back in.
he just sees her on the bed, her skin flushed and her naked contours against the sheets. she looks so heavenly with that blissed out expression on her face. he smiles and rounds the bed, crawling and bending her legs for her. he wipes the mess they made in between her legs. rubbing over her clit, causing her to hiss an attempt at smacking his hand.
“don’t. i’m just helping clean you up.” he says softly with some small reprimand. she sighs and blinks tiredly, “am i supposed to be so tired?” she asks in a grumble.
he chuckles and nods, “it’s normal.” he says with a small smile in her direction. he grabs the cloth in his hands, grabbing there discarded clothes off the floor, throwing them in her dirty clothes hamper, along with the cloth.
he then goes over to her dresser, pulling it open and one after another until he finds her pj drawer. he grabs her some underwear in the process, walking back over to the bed.
“sit up, baby.” he says gently as he taps her calf, she slowly follows his demand and sits up groggily. she’s pouty now and cute when she’s like this, he finds.
he slips the underwear onto her legs, letting her lift herself into it and putting them on her hips. he dresses her, putting a nightgown over her body. “come on,” he gestures towards the pillows at the head of the bed. she lazily sighs and moves her body until her head is resting on her pillows. he crawls in beside her ontop of the covers, pulling her so she’s half draped over him.
her lazy eyes closing and opening against his bare chest, “are you sore?” he whispers against her head. she shakes her head against his bare chest, “no, just tired.” she mumbles.
he nods and presses a kiss to the top of her head, rubbing a hand up and down her bare arm of the nightgown. “was i good?” she asks after a beat of silence, so quiet he almost didn’t hear her.
“you were beyond good, sweet girl. you were spectacular.” he whispers sweetly in a comforting timbre, his lips hovering over her head. she smiles and nuzzles her head more into his chest, speaking again. “i’m so glad i chose you.” she says before her eyes drift closed against his chest.
something bloomed in his heart, something that he had ignored so many times before in the month and a half he had been working for her.
it was love? wasn’t it? it wasn’t lust. it was something deeper and rawer and it went beyond his comprehension. but as he held her in his arms, he thought one thing: he was happy she had chosen him too.
an: y’all know the drill, reblog and like. my masterlist and my taglist are linked above at the beginning. pls follow for more, i love you all and i hope this oneshot made up for me taking so long to finally post something. i’m working slowly to get all my oneshots and requests out. i promise. just bear with me <33 i love you all so much, hope you guys enjoyed it all. sorry it’s so long (im not), love u all sm, kisses xx.
taglist: @heartsforvin @elihii @argreion @sqiim (let me know in my dms if u wanna join and it’s linked above as well)
#leon kennedy#leon x reader#leon kennedy smut#leon kennedy au#re4 remake#leon kennedy x you#leon s kennedy#leon kennedy fic#leon kennedy imagine#leon s kennedy smut#leon kennedy fanfic#leon kennedy x reader#re4 leon#leon kennedy x fem reader#re4 leon x reader#leon kennedy x y/n#resident evil smut
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THE BENEFITS OF IVERMECTIN. IF YOU HAVE CANCER, FREQUENT COLD OR INFECTIONS, MUSCLE SHRINKAGE, CARDIAC ISSUES, CROHNS, HERPES, ETC.
The study was published in the Cureus Journal of Medical Science. LET'S TALK ABOUT IVERMECTIN 1 – Ivermectin prevents the damage caused to RNA Vaccines. 2 – Ivermectin blocks the entry of Spike Protein into cells. So, if the person was vaccinated with COVID, they have hope, they have a way to treat themselves through Ivermectin. 3 – Ivermectin is a treatment after Covid and after vaccination, it is an effective medicine in all phases of Covid 19, even before entering the cell, Ivermectin already destroys the virus in the blood. It only has beneficial effects and no harmful effects in the treatment of the coronavirus. 4 – Ivermectin has a very powerful anti-inflammatory action against Coronavirus. 5 – Ivermectin has a powerful action for traumatic and orthopedic injuries, it strengthens muscles and has no side effects like corticosteroids. 6 – Ivermectin treats autoimmune ailments such as: rheumatoid arthritis, ankylosing spondylitis, fibromyalgia, psoriasis, Crohn's disease, allergic rhinitis. 7 – Ivermectin reduces the frequency of flu and colds. 8 – Ivermectin improves the immunity of cancer patients. 9 – Ivermectin treats Herpes Simplex and Herpes Zoster. 10 – Ivermectin reduces the frequency of sinusitis and diverticulitis. 11 – Ivermectin protects the heart in cardiac overload, in an embolism for example, it prevents cardiac hypoxia because it stimulates the production of basic energy so that the tissue is not destroyed and thus improves cardiac function. 12 – Ivermectin is antiparasitic. 13 – Ivermectin is anti-neoplastic (anti-cancer), it suppresses the proliferation and metastasis of cancer cells, only killing cancer cells and preserving healthy cells, improving the effectiveness of chemotherapy treatment, as it kills cancer cells resistant to chemotherapy, defeating the resistance to multiple chemotherapeutics that tumors develop, and combined with chemotherapy and/or anti-cancer agents, it provides an increase in the effectiveness of these treatments. 14 – Ivermectin is antimicrobial (bacteria and viruses), and increases immunity. 15 – Ivermectin reaches the Central Nervous System and regenerates the nerves. 16 – Ivermectin regulates glucose and insulin metabolism. 17 – Ivermectin regulates cholesterol metabolism. 18 – Ivermectin reduces liver fat in steatose. 19 – Ivermectin protects the liver exposed to insecticides. 20 – Ivermectin attacks the virus wherever it is, regardless of mutations. 21 – Ivermectin serves for the prevention and treatment of coronavirus, surprisingly. Unproven efficacy is not of Ivermectin, but of vaccines. 22 – Ivermectin, used as a prophylactic agent, was associated with a significant reduction in infection, hospitalization and mortality rates due to COVID-19. 23 - Ivermectin does not attack the liver, since it is not metabolized in it, and if in the intestine, on the contrary, it protects the liver.
BIG PHARMA DOES NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS.THEY WANT TO SELL YOU THE EXPENSIVE MEDS THEY MAKE BILLIONS ON.
Please read, save and re-blog before Tumblr takes this down.
#ivermectin#big pharma lobby#big pharma#the great awakening#government corruption#covid vaccine#covid 19#covid 19 vaccine#covid#cardiac arrest#cardiac issues#crohns#diabetes#orthopedics#herpes
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You know what the advantage is of taking an entire year to make this? Having it done for The Sims 2's 20th birthday – and, in 5 months, The Sims's 25th!
(ReShade off on the right.)
@philosimy's marvelous Old Town neighbourhood provided the base and the inspiration, and you should go put some respect on their hard work before you download this. It might even be what you came here looking for in the first place!
Their post has all the info you'll need about the SC4 terrain this neighbourhood was built on, and a list of the CC you'll need to use it:
Numenor: Maxis ‘Lost & Found’ #9: Waterfall & River
Criquette:
Lush (Temperate) Road DR & Neighborhood Road Transparency Fix
Road bridges set
Ultimate railway set
Haut-gothique: Age of Empires 3 conversions - part 1
Psychosims: Maxis Lost & Found - Plesiosaur
The good news is that that's all the CC you'll need to use the version with built lots. The bad news is that you'll need Ultimate Collection or all EPs and SPs to make everything work the way it was made. The even worse news is that it can't be perfectly 1:1 or as-is functional, but every lot is as close as I could get to how they appear in The Sims 1 Complete Collection. Basically, do a pass with your own CC and you'll make it nice.
DOWNLOAD (SFS)
To install:
Check your Documents\EA Games\The Sims 2\Neighborhoods folder to ensure it does not already contain a folder called “B407.” If it does, you will have to delete that neighbourhood to make room for this one.
Download and unpack OldTown2.rar.
Place the folder inside (named “B407”) in your Documents\EA Games\The Sims 2\Neighborhoods folder.
Start your game and play.
None of the lots in this neighbourhood have been so much as touched by a Sim to reduce game-breaking issues. It is free of the Super Duper Hug Bug. The neighbourhood itself contains no parts that will break your game. Unfortunately, it does include the default Townies, as the original did, and @creesims found memory issues among them. Some decorations may not appear in your game as advertised in this post, depending on your mix of default replacements and object fixes.
If you're only looking for individual lots, they're in the same SimFileShare folder as the neighbourhood and are 100% CC-free. I'll be making posts with caps and details for each one. I won't be making TS1 Sims to go in them, though; many others have done a better job than I could. Have fun finding or making your own.
So, not a perfect conversion. This is partially due to the self-imposed no-CC requirement, and partially due to the very nature of the differences between Sims 1 and 2. If you have an intuition of how Sims 1 looks, you'll notice:
Spiral stairs in odd positions and longer linear stairs.
A lack of curved stairs.
Wide blank spaces between the contents of a beach lot and its shoreline.
Different distances between buildings on a lot or between a building and the edge of a lot.
Differently-shaped shorelines and bodies of water.
Different terrain shapes and paints.
Fences that occupy the edge of a tile rather than the tile itself.
I can't change the above because they are foundational differences between the two games. The below, however, are stylistic choices that you should absolutely trash and redo with your own game:
Foundations and decks replacing floors.
Incongruous build and buy items.
Empty shopping and game space in community lots.
Mod-Related Notes:
The only mod compatibility issue will be with road default replacements. This hood requires Criquette's to work (see CC list above).
Voeille's Seawater: lots with or near water need a pool tile or two added to work properly.
Some community lots contain career reward objects or similar hidden items. You do not need any CC for these to appear on the lots.
However, in order for lot visitors to use the microphones, you'll need lamare's community lot mic fix.
If you know of a collection of 1t2 CC, I'd love to link it here.
Individual Lot Posts:
The Sims
2 Sim Lane (SFS, 2024-09-21)
3 Sim Lane (SFS, 2024-09-28)
5 Sim Lane (SFS, 2024-10-05)
6 Sim Lane (SFS, 2024-10-12)
7 Sim Lane (SFS, 2024-10-19)
10 Sim Lane (SFS, 2024-10-26)
Livin' Large
1 Sim Lane (SFS, 2024-11-02)
7 Sim Lane (SFS, 2024-11-09)
9 Sim Lane (SFS, 2024-11-16)
Hot Date
Hedman's Hideaway, 21 Wright Way (SFS, 2024-11-23)
Cory's Place, 22 Wright Way (SFS, 2024-11-30)
Wrensday's, 24 Wright Way (SFS, 2024-12-07)
Solana Towne Centre, 25 Main Street (SFS, 2024-12-14)
Landgraab Mall, 26 Main Street (SFS, 2024-12-21)
Old Farm Square, 27 Main Street (SFS, 2024-12-28)
Barrett's Boardwalk, 28 Main Street (SFS, 2025-01-04)
SimCity Beach, 29 Main Street (SFS, 2025-01-11)
Crumplebottom Memorial Park, 30 Main Street (SFS, 2025-01-18)
Vacation
Alpine Preserve, 40 Old Volcano Way (SFS, 2025-01-25)
Penguin Acres Campground, 41 Old Volcano Way (SFS, 2025-02-01)
Al Pine's Winter Wonderland, 42 Old Volcano Way (SFS, 2025-02-08)
Bear Essentials Lodge, 43 Lagoon Moon Road (SFS, 2025-02-15)
Ranger's Ranch Campground, 44 Lagoon Moon Road (SFS, 2025-02-22)
Wren's Fens National Park, 45 Lagoon Moon Road (SFS, 2025-03-01)
Reclaimed Public Beach, 46 Lagoon Moon Road (SFS, 2025-03-08)
Sunset Beach, 47 Lagoon Moon Road (SFS, 2025-03-15)
Palazzo Palms Hotel, 48 Lagoon Moon Road (SFS, 2025-03-22)
Unleashed
The Blackpoint Cottage, 53 Ingleside Drive (SFS, 2025-03-29)
The Walden Estate, 54 Ridge Road (SFS, 2025-04-05)
The Porte Rouge Villa, 55 Ingleside Drive (SFS, 2025-04-12)
56 Ingleside Drive (SFS, 2025-04-19)
The Somerset Home, 57 Ingleside Drive (SFS, 2025-04-26)
SimCentral Park, 58 Ingleside Drive (SFS, 2025-05-03)
The Sunflower Home, 59 Ingleside Drive (SFS, 2025-05-10)
The Meadowlark Home, 60 Happy Trail (SFS, 2025-05-17)
Custer's Market, 61 Happy Trail (SFS, 2025-05-24)
The Oak Villa, 62 Old Farm Circle (SFS, 2025-05-31)
63 Gunter Goth Highway (SFS, 2025-06-07)
The Morris Cottage, 64 Gunter Goth Highway (SFS, 2025-06-14)
The Appleview Farm, 66 Gunter Goth Highway (SFS, 2025-06-21)
The Vanilla Home, 68 First Avenue (SFS, 2025-06-28)
The Charming Family, 69 First Avenue (SFS, 2025-07-05)
Pet Paradise!, 70 Elm Street (SFS, 2025-07-12)
Old Town Quarter, 71 Elm Street (SFS, 2025-07-19)
Sidewalk Walkabout, 72 Elm Street (SFS, 2025-04-01)
McArthur Square, 73 Elm Street (SFS, 2025-07-26)
Lake Barrett, 74 Maple Street (SFS, 2025-08-02)
The Gothic Quarter, 75 Maple Street (SFS, 2025-08-09)
76 Gunter Goth Highway (SFS, 2025-08-16)
77 Maple Street (SFS, 2025-08-23)
The Courtyard Villa, 78 Maple Street (SFS, 2025-08-30)
The Mango Manor, 80 Crumplebottom Court (SFS, 2025-09-06)
Superstar
KWLW Studios, 81 Sunrise Boulevard (SFS, 2025-09-13)
Fairchild Film Studios, 82 Sunrise Boulevard (SFS, 2025-09-20)
Meeker Studios, 83 Sunrise Boulevard (SFS, 2025-09-27)
Midlock Multiplex, 84 Studio Town Drive (SFS, 2025-10-04)
Studio Town Center, 85 Studio Town Drive (SFS, 2025-10-11)
Buckingham Galleries, 86 Studio Town Drive (SFS, 2025-10-18)
Music for the Eyes Inc., 87 Studio Town Drive (SFS, 2025-10-25)
Cameron's Lounge, 88 Studio Town Drive (SFS, 2025-11-01)
The Gast District, 89 Studio Town Drive (SFS, 2025-11-08)
Makin' Magic
EverAfter Oaks, 90 Creepy Hollow (SFS, 2025-11-15)
Alfred's B & B, 91 Creepy Hollow (SFS, 2025-11-22)
Old Man Lum's, 92 Creepy Hollow (SFS, 2025-11-29)
A Spooktacular Spot, 93 Calamity Forest (SFS, 2025-12-06)
Vernon's Vault, 94 Calamity Forest (SFS, 2025-12-13)
Coldwind Meadow, 95 Calamity Forest (SFS, 2025-12-20)
Clowntastic Land, 96 Calamity Forest (SFS, 2025-12-27)
Serra Glen, 97 Calamity Forest (SFS, 2026-01-03)
Forest Edge Camp, 98 Calamity Forest (SFS, 2026-01-10)
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Big Man on Campus
(a trade with @alphajocklover)
Trent had been going to college for almost 4 years at this point, he was 21 and steadily approaching his 22nd birthday and approaching his graduation even faster. He had spent most of his time inside, working on his computer engineering degree or gaming. He didn't really care for the college party scene, he'd much rather stay in his tidy little single all weekend until monday classes.
but when it finally sank in how close it was to being over Trent couldn't help but have a little bit of regret, should he have hit the gym with the other guys on his floor? should he have joined the casual rowing team just for some fun and exercise? was computer science really what he wanted a degree in? Senior doubt and regret flooded his mind, but there was still an upside. 4 months were left, 4 months he'd make the most of.
Trent went on the college forums looking for something to do, he thought about a few of the options but found two that he really liked. The first was a dungeons and dragons club the second was listen as an exercise club but it also seemed to be a project for two sport science students.
Transformation Experiment Ground: "Our names are Brody and Clark, we are looking for young males on campus who are out of shape looking to get in shape and help with our experiment. Come form a sense of community, get the body you desire and help us with our research!" Monday came and classes went. Normally Trent would go home and smash out a few ours gaming but it was time for his clubs to start. First he had the sport experiment thing, the only issue was he only had a few minutes to get to the dnd club across campus, but he wasn't sure how sweaty he'd get or if he'd need a shower. He just had to hope there was a shower at the campus gym.
Trent checked his phone, he thought he was going to the campus gym but the address was for a room in the athlete scholarship dorms. Trent walked passed the gym and into the building next to it. The halls had photos of previous college athletes plastered up between the doors.
Finally he arrived, right on time, room 223. Trent raised his hand to knock when the door suddenly swung open. Standing before him was a jacked guy with spiked blonde hair in a black tank and grey sweat pants and standing next to him just slightly down the hall was an equally jacked dude with shaggy brown hair in the same outfit.
"hey bro what's up I'm Brody and just over there is Clark"
Brody stuck out his hand but when Trent went to shake it he realised Brody was waiting for a fist bump not a hand shake, Trent awkwardly closed up his hand and bumped Brody's fist. Clark let out a douchey laugh that echoed out the door.
"Come in man, come in"
"You are, the only one comin" Clark sighed
"oh, was I the only one who signed up?"
Trent started to get anxious, guys who looked like this normally bullied him and now he was going to be on his own with them for an hour. Trent made his way into the room, following Brody and Clark.
The athlete dorms were so much bigger than the other rooms he'd been in. There was a large lounge space with a small kitchen, a door to a private bathroom and two bedrooms either side of the lounge.
In the corner of the lounge there was a small fold out chair and table. On the table were 5 green vials and what looked to be an oculus rift stripped down to its basic components.
"so ummm, where do we start with like a workout plan?"
"nah dude, I mean I can totally write you one but this is a bit more of a series of practice experiments" Brody said as he walked over to the small table
"get him hooked up man, I'm gonna grab my laptop with the video"
Trent followed Brody over to the small fold out chair
"its nothing too fancy but our class mates got the actual sports lab, apparently our experiment is pseudo-science"
"what exactly are you guys studying?"
"we are trying to see if active suggestion and nutrients redirection can get people to actively pursue fitness"
"oh damn, I just thought this was like, a workout class" Trent sat down as Brody began setting up the make shift visor. "if you don't mind me asking, what are you guys majoring in?"
"well I'm getting a double major in bio-chemistry and psychology"
"and I'm getting a double major in computer engineering and software development" Clark said as he walked back in carrying an open laptop
Trent's jaw almost dropped to the floor, he'd come here thinking he was going to be made to workout by two dumb jocks who were just going to scribble times on a napkin, but instead he's participating in a proper experiment designed by two people probably leagues smarter than him.
"okay man its real easy, we are gonna hook up an image display for a few minutes and you'll take a shot of this" Clark said as he handed over one of the small green vials.
"errrr, is it safe?"
Clark burst out laughing and Brody couldn't help but crack a smile.
"yeah man, its just a diet supplement you can get offline, fda approved, basically it tells your muscles they want to hold water and your fat cells to burn"
Trent downed the green liquid as Clark flicked the visor down over his eyes. There was a short beep sound before images began to flash on the visor. Flashes of guys working out, of dumbbells and the words you are a jock and you love working out and muscle.
Trent couldn't help it, he burst out laughing.
"I'm sorry guys this is so corny" He laughed.
The other two began to chuckle as well as the room filled with laughter.
"Look dude, Its the closest thing I could find on YouTube, its about the suggestions" Clark laughed
Suddenly the lights in the room began to flicker and all 3 globes in the lounge burnt out at once.
"what the-" Brody and Clark said in unison, but they were interrupted when sparks began to fly off the oculus. They rushed to try and take it off Trent but were shocked by the electricity. Sparks shout out of the power point in the wall and the two boys watched helplessly as Trent began to convulse in his seat.
Trent let out a painful and stalled out moan as the electricity travelled over the oculus and shocked his temples.
The room was dark was illuminated every few seconds by a shock or spark and the two boys could swear they could see something, something happening to Trent's body. A few more seconds passed before it finally stopped.
Brody and Clark stood there stunned, the sound of beeping could be heard from the kitchen as the oven entered safety mode, but a more concerning noise echoed in the boys ears. The sound of sizzling. Clark carefully walked over to the curtains and opened them, the room filling with light and showing them what had happened to Trent.
He sat in the chair with his head slumped forward, his chin hitting his chest as smoke was rising off the device on his head and all over his body. But what the two saw in the dark wasn't a trick of the light, Trent had indeed gotten bigger. His skinny fat body had expanded, he'd become more lean, his muscles more pronounced and most of the fat on his body had melted away.
Trent let out a moan as a string of drool fell from his mouth
"OH THANK FUCK HE'S ALIVE" Clark cried out with a sigh of relief.
The two rushed over and pulled the device off his head. Trent's eyes instantly responded as he looked up at the two of them.
"wooahh bro, huhu, that was intence" Trent mumbled
"yeah, thank god you're okay" said Brody.
Trent lifted his arm to the side and flexed his bicep and let out a dumb chuckle.
"errr, dude, real quick, what's your name?"
"Trent, duuuhuhuhu, you fuckin forgetful bro?"
Trent seemed okay but something was wrong, even with the short interaction the three of them had, Clark and Brody knew something had happened to him.
"hey Trent, what are you" Brody asked
Trent smirked as he lifted his other arm, completing a double bicep pose.
"a jock, duuuhuhuhu"
Trent stood up and effortlessly pushed passed the two as he started heading towards the door.
"well at least we know his motor functions weren't damaged"
Clark and Brody quickly followed him
"Dude, I really think you should go to the medical centre"
"Nah bro, I got dnd like NOW I gotta boost"
"wait Trent!" Clark yelled out "err, dnd thats an interesting hobbie for a jock, what else are you into"
Trent spun around on the spot with a big smirk on his face
"glad you asked dude, I love three things, gymmin, gamin, dndenin..dndin.....dndining....." Trent's voice trailed off as he tried to finish forming his catchy sentence
"and, what about your major? what are you studying?" Brody asked
"errr huhuhu, like, what's a major?" Trent said turning around to leave again
"FUCK DUDE I THINK WE ACTUALLY FRIED HIS BRAIN" Clark started to panic
"I mean, yeah, but it seems like his core interests and that jock hypno video have combined into a new personality, I dunno if we friend his brain more, re-wrote it"
"DUDE NOW IS NOT THE FUCKING TIME FOR YOUR INTEREST IN THE HUMAN BRAIN WE FUCKING CREATED GYM BRO FRANKENSTIEN"
Trent walked out the door into the crowded hallway. Students were all talking over the top of each other in front of their dorm rooms trying to work out what was going on. The two boys raced out to follow Trent.
"Trent dude wait!, errr, tell me about your dnd character" Brody called out desperately trying to stop him from leaving
Trent continued to power forward through the crowd, pushing through them like water with his new powerful body.
"well bro, I was gonna play some like, lil spell caster dude, but like, i dunno bro, numbers are hard, so like, I think I'm just gonna play, like, some sick fucking, roided out minotaur with a huge axe"
Brody was struggling to keep up with Trent, they both had already lost Clark to the sea of students. Brody grabbed onto the back of Trent's shirt which caused him to stop and turn around.
"woah lil dude, if you wanted some action all you had to do was ask, I got an 8 inch python with your na-"
"WHAT!, ha, oh, no dude, errr, that's" Brody's face turned bright red as he got flustered.
"no? damn too bad, you lil fuckin, science dudes are kinda cute"
Brody was stunned, some how all this muscle and new persona had also added a level of charm to Trent that dug right through to his core. But it was too late to grab his attention again. Trent had already pulled away and gone off out of Brody's sight...
One week had passed since the extreme power surge that had hit the Athlete Scholarship Dorms. There almost wasn't a single incident other than a few blown light bulbs and some damaged electronics....almost. The college had found out about Trent, no matter how hard Brody and Clark tried to hide it. However the two got off lucky. Both the College and the investigation into what happened deemed it was an accident that unfortunately resulted in what was being called "Personality Death". Trent had an entirely healthy body and brain with no signs of damages, but something had happen to completely re-write who and what he was.
The college couldn't let Trent graduate, he couldn't even remember what he had enrolled for, but the college still found a purpose for him. The hid the extreme and sudden body transformation from the investigation and gave Trent a 'job'. His official title was research assistant but he was too stupid for any serious work. His real job was to sit there and be injected with experimental steroids. Forced to grow like some roided out lab rat. Not that he cared, every time Trent put on even an ounce of muscle he'd spend hours in the mirror flexing. He was the biggest guy on campus.
[6 years later]
"okay babe, just hold still"
"aahhh, fuck, it feels so good when it goes in"
"you are so weird, I hate getting injections"
"well huhuhu, when you got a sexy lil piece of meat to do em, its a huge fuckin turn on dude"
Brody stood up from the kitchen table and began to clean up the injection kit, chuckling as he did it.
"Trent, that's so cheesy"
Trent stood up, the sound of wood scraping against the floor filled the room as he effortlessly and accidentally moved the entire dining table.
"will it make me look like Captain America huhuhu?"
"babe...seriously, I think we passed the Captain America stage about 150 pounds ago"
"then hit me with all 6 and make me the hulk" Trent pressed his body against Brody and the table.
Brody was no stranger to 300+ pounds pressing against him "I said no Trent" a slight grin cracked across Brody's face, 'besides, for all I know that one shot will add another 50 pounds, we gotta wait and see."
Trent stood there staring into Brody's eyes with an expression that could only be described as a computer failing to load a basic program 10 times in a row.
"Then jab me with all 6 and give me" Trent stopped to count on his fingers, "120 pounds of muscle" a large smirk crept across his face, proud he was able to do the math in his head.
Brody rolled his eyes and chuckled
"that'd be 300 pounds babe" Brody packed up the rest of the kit and left the kitchen.
Trent went to follow after him, he had hit the gym already today so no other thoughts existed in his mind other than getting attention for how big he was from Brody, but as he walked out the kitchen he caught a glimpse of himself and began flexing in the lounge room mirror, completely forgetting what he had been doing just 2 seconds again...
He was so proud of the roided lab rat he had become...
#male transformation#muscle#muscle transformation#male tf#tf story#transformation#gay transformation
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You and I | F2 (kimi bday celly!)
type ::fluff tw/cw :: fem!reader for all :( contains :: kimi!, ollie, paul, pepe request :: you and i w kimi ollie paul & pepe plsss (literally my top 4 drivers LOLL im surprised by how many f2 requests there are) link to kimi bday celly!
Kimi Antonelli | 04
Being one of the only girls in F2 meant that you were basically shipped with everyone on the grid, no matter if you ever talked to them. It was odd, but you expected all the ships to die down eventually, which most did. Except one ship: you and Kimi. It made sense, since you both are teammates after all.
Kimi doesn't know how to react to the shipping. Because on one hand, he knows it's inappropriate since you're teammates but on the other hand, he has a huge crush on you so he doesn't really mind it. So he's stuck in the middle, not sure what to do when asked anything about you.
When people ask him things like, "Have you seen the (Y/N) x Kimi fans?" or "Have you considered dating (Y/N)?" he just awkwardly laughs. Which is the worse option he could have done, since it just fueled the fanbase even more because he wasn't outright denying it.
But, he might have planned that: since he does love seeing all the edits of you two together :)
Ollie Bearman | 87
Since he's one of the most popular F2 drivers, he's already experienced being shipped with other people often. But usually he's shipped with boys, and he's comfortable with his sexuality to not get offended by the shipping since he knows he's not gay. The only issue now with being shipped with you is 1. you're a girl, 2. he does like you.
Whenever he's asked about you, he gets slightly flustered. It's clear to many that he might have a crush on you, but thanks to his delusional fan girls (I'm one of them) they spam Twitter and Instagram stating that you're just platonic soulmates with Ollie.
But Ollie is secretly basking in the ship edits of you and him. He doesn't want to be your platonic soulmate, he just wants to be your soulmate, period. Since he scrolls online so often to keep feeding his crush on you, he accidentally likes one of the ship edits.
This sends twitter into a meltdown, tons of moms and teen girls sobbing over Ollie basically confirming that he likes you. But thankfully, they gaslight themselves into thinking he thought it was a platonic edit. He knew damn well what he liked, but he's not allowed to say anything since it's a risk for PR and contracts - having two drivers date each other can get messy so fast. But he'd be ready to risk it all for you.
Paul Aron | 17
He's surprisingly bashful about the ships of you two, it's cute to watch him turn slightly pink in the ears and cheek at the mention of your ship name. Whenever he's asked about you, he can't help but try and lead the interviewer on - yet never give them a full answer of your relationship.
Your team won't allow you two to date, due to the high stakes and PR damage it would do. Especially since you're both so sought after - Paul being wanted by every girl, and you being wanted by every boy. But Paul didn't care for any girl besides you, you're all he wants and he's determined to get you. Most likely by dating under the table, hiding it from the world.
Whenever interviewers ask him things about his love life, he always hints that he has his eye on someone. Or whenever he's blantanlty asked about you, he can't help but smile a little and give a cheeky shrug, since he can't speak much on the matter.
As your teammate, he does try to flirt with you - but not in a douchebag way. Which is surprisingly, since his Instagram posts and friends scream frat-boy, he's different from them. He tries to take it slow with you, not wanting to scare you away by being seeming like a weirdo or asshole in any way.
Pepe Marti | 21
Being shipped with you made him happy and he's unable to hide that. He's naturally super smiley, so when he hears your name - it's almost as if you can see his tail wag at the mention of you. Just like a puppy, he has major puppy-love for you.
But he tries his best to not feed into the ships due to it going against the contracts and policies in place. His face just can't hide it though, he's grinning ear to ear when asked if he would ever date you. Only for him to reply, "Only if I got the chance to :)"
Basically: he makes your PR team work overtime to ensure the audience that you two are JUST friends. But it's hard to do when Pepe straight up tries to hold your hand in the paddock. Or when he posts on Instagram that you're visiting his family for dinner.
Thankfully, the PR are great at manipulating the public to believe you two are just friends - which you are technically,,, but you both know you're so much more than that.
#f1#f2#andrea kimi antonelli#kimi antonelli#kimi antonelli x reader#ollie bearman#ollie bearman x reader#paul aron#paul aron x reader#pepe marti#pepe martí#pepe marti x reader#f1 x reader#f2 x reader#formula 1#formula 2#formula 1 x reader#formula 2 x reader
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Thinking about a comedic "Star Wars" fic premise that could be either DinLuke or BobaLuke, not as an "OTP happily ever after" thing for either pairing, more as a series of ill-conceived hook-ups that everyone involved wishes were a little less emotionally complicated, actually.
Because the basic (been done before, I'm sure) premise of "I fucked a 19yo in Mos Eisley's only gay bar, that's kind of embarassing for me..." -> "I hate it when a past hook-up becomes a- MULTI-MILLION CREDIT bounty??? What the hell??? He killed HOW MANY people???" -> "Oh, fuck me, he's DARTH VADER'S SON!!!" works for either Boba or Din.
The flavor of the fic is of course extremely different for each pairing. Boba Fett is much more of an asshole, especially at this point in time, but he also has a lot of really interesting connections to Luke's past / family (Boba is SWEATING during his later meetings with Darth Vader). (He fucked a Jedi??? He fucked ANAKIN SKYWALKER'S kid??? Darth Vader is Skywalker??? Shit.) So, that has the potential to go to angstier places. DinLuke is just more likely to happen in the first place and also keep happening, because Din is less of a bastard and, you know, not canonically working for Jabba the Hutt or Darth fucking Vader.
(They're both 10+ years older than Luke, so you can make terrible helmeted daddy issues jokes about this silly situation either way.)
Because I enjoy fic premises based on how funny they are to me personally, I settled on both of these pairings. It's too funny to imagine Boba ("I'm too fucking old for this shit") Fett and Din ("The helmet has to stay ON during sex") Djarin having a "WAIT, HIM TOO???" moment in the middle of a firefight between Luke's little rebel friends and a bunch of other bounty hunters sent after them by Luke's shitty Sith Lord dad.
And Luke's friends, in between shooting at all of these competing bounty hunters, are like, "How do you already have TWO bounty hunter EXES out for your ass??? I thought you were only 20? 21?? And that you never even left Tatooine before you joined the Rebellion???" And Luke can only be like, "I lived near a spaceport, okay??? I'm SORRY that the only good club was in a wretched hive of scum and villainy called MOS EISLEY!"
Han Solo, pressed up against some crates for cover: "Look, kid, the criminal underworld doesn't have a lot of hard rules, but some things are just common sense... Don't fuck bounty hunters!!!"
Luke, sitting beside him: "Do we really have to do this now?"
Leia, on Luke's other side, leaning in as she pulls out a thermal detonator: "Who RAISED you??? Didn't anyone ever tell you never to sleep with Mandalorians???"
Luke: "Why would your parents even think to warn you about that?"
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