#based on that. One prank episode

[entropy-sea-system]

The rest of the inbestigators: Kyle, no!

Kyle: Kyle yes!

[transfemzedaph]

things worm man is scared of:

giant mutants

convex

[lectern-fullcauldron]

Joe Hills:

made a hermitcraft episode the day after his daughter was born to tell everyone how excited he was to meet her

staged a multi day one hermit protest outside warner chapell to defend mumbo jumbo's videos against copyright strikes

did a series of videos reading his webcomic aloud with the intention of making it accessible for the visually impaired, asking for feedback after each one

runs a table flipping competition at his local convention that lasts until the table breaks

made a working model replica of the evergiven in the strait of Joebraltar (stopped bdubs transporting villagers)

outplayed grian in a prank war by pulling out an IOU to make grian not retaliate to his base being covered in lava

pays all his staff members for their time moderating, brainstorming, project managing, and more

has played on every season of hermitcraft, from several weeks into season one onwards

is the only hermit to have met zombiecleo in person

part of a group who wrote and published the pitfalls and penguins TTRPG (has run a session with pauseunpause as a player)

ran a coup to make season two of Hermitcraft happen, establish a voting system, and get cleo (and mumbo) on the server

adds challenges to his minecraft gameplay to keep it interesting (a season without diamonds, a season without wings)

makes models that are as accurate to his chosen scale and reality as possible

has a world pinball ranking

oldest Hills sibling

has videos that are midroll ad free due to support from patreon sponsors

[lxvvie]

On today's episode of Simps-R-Us: A Drunken Mind Speaks Sober Thoughts, or how your faves show their love after a night out.

cw: alcohol/alcohol consumption.

Capt. John Price - Will gently hold the sides of your face, bring your foreheads together, and peer into your eyes with his own hazy ones. Price tells you how happy you've made an old man like him, that he loves you, and that YOU and only YOU can wear his hat. Solidifies this by actually putting his hat on your head, scooping you up in his arms, and holding you close. And yes, you'll be sleeping like this with your face smothered in his chesticles.

Gaz - Walks into your shared place pretty much blabbering about how you just... "get him". You get his choices in horror films, you get his thinking process, you get his love language (pranking), you just GET HIM. And he doesn't want anyone else to get him and he'll fall out of another helicopter again before he lets someone else get him. ...How did he wind up under the living room table, though?

Alex Keller - The one who's leaning against the bedroom doorway just looking all dreamily and shit at you with his hair all kinds of messed up. Keller is practically crooning 'Boss' at you so you can look at him and he can blow you a kiss. Alex, please get the fuck in bed. He chuckles and shakes his head no 'cause he's too busy enjoying the view and doesn't wanna miss a thing. KELLER, PLEASE—

Soap - (Based on this ask. Thanks for the inspiration, @cas-backwards-tie!) Soap loves you SOOOO much, so, so, so much, goddamnit, that he learned to say it. He learned the say the thing. Yeah... he didn't. It didn't even sound remotely like the thing but you can't tell him shit. Now give him a kiss for being a good boy. His kiss was nowhere near your lips, either. That'll do, Soap. That'll do.

Ghost - Is the clingiest koala bear on the fucking planet and it's adorable. How clingy, might you ask? Well, his arms are wrapped around you, he has your head tucked under his chin, and he's intertwined his legs with yours. You feel the throaty rumble of "Love you" from Simon's chest and it lulls you to sleep. And then you realize he still has his clothes on. Try to move and see how he tightens his grip ever so slightly. You chuckle and let him know he has to undress and to that, you hear and feel the soft grumble of his "Noooooo...." because don't go. Not when he just got you. This shit is one for the storybooks, though. Simon fucking Riley... WHINING?!

Alejandro - His hair is also mussed. Isn't as stern-looking. Actually has the goofiest, boyish grin on his face. Alejandro pretty much strokes your cheek and tells you verbatim that you make him a better man. Then he proceeds to cover your face in kisses, all while relishing in your giggles.

Rudy - The one who tripped over his own two feet trying to get to you, also missed the mark when trying to kiss you, and fell off the bed. Also falls asleep mid-sentence when trying to tell you he loves you.

König - You actually woke up to hearing König profess his love. Has a tendency to really enunciate Schatz in a somewhat singsong voice. Sings a lullaby in his native German. He tells you he loves you, and over and over again he confesses his love. Then you look up and see him actually cuddling the pillow tightly. Oh. Okay. How cute. You just sit and watch the entire thing. You know like hell König will be mortified when you tell him this story.

Horangi - He'd already come home and settled down for the night. Then, as if he had an epiphany, Horangi sat up from his side of the bed, got all up in your face, and told you how he'd go through hell as a gambler over and over again just to be with you over and over and OVER again. That's so sweet, Horangi, now back to bed you go.

Graves - The one who'll serenade you (Graves can sing?), call out for his Darlin' repeatedly, burp, and tell you he loves you all while in the bathroom taking the longest piss known to man. Good to know, Graves.

Valeria - Actually came home a little pissed because some stupid fuck thought he could talk about how attractive he found you in front of her. Hopefully the broken jaw sent a clear message because she couldn't be bothered to do anything else. She ends her story with a "You're mine!" and plants a big, fat one on your lips. Oh, Valeria.

Roach - He's the one blowing your phone up with text messages and emojis showing his love. Then he reveals that he got lost and could you please come find him? Except he's already in the house. You find him in the dark, grinning like an idiot at the messages he sent you on his phone, and he's so happy that you found him!

Keegan - Is the one staring into your soul after he kissed your forehead so sweetly. You okay, Keegan? "Yes. No. ...Maybe? Baby, jus' let me love you."

[innerfare]

Random Shanks Headcanons 

Summary: A random collection of Shanks headcanons

CW: None // SFW

———

Has a fake arm that he uses for gags. Only he and Yasopp find it funny. Beckman once tossed the arm overboard after Shanks ‘lost’ the arm in a pot of Lucky Roux’s stew, only for Shanks to enter the mess hall the next morning with another attached to his body. 

Can do magic tricks, especially good with coins and cards. A very skilled sleight of hand artist. Also not above using these tricks to cheat while playing cards. (Inspired by the coin game w/ Luffy flashback). Cheating is the only way he can beat Beckman, who’s by far the best player on the crew. But he doesn’t even cheat to win, he just likes the thrill of getting away with it; also enjoys the thrill of getting caught. There was a rabbit loose aboard the Red Force for a solid month after the captain tried to learn how to pull it out of a hat.

The best beer pong player in the New World, probably the entire world. Would challenge all of his enemies to a game of beer pong to settle their disputes if he thought they would respect the results of the game. Good at drinking games in general (has a little too much experience).

Is an infamous gossip. If a member of the crew wants word to get out about something, they just mention it to their captain. 

Enjoys playing matchmaker. Always acts as a wingman for his crew when there’s a pretty bar maid. The only one he never tried to fix up with one of his crew mates was his darling Makino. 

Are soap operas a thing in the One Piece universe? Because if so, he has a favorite that he never misses an episode of (fights hardest on Thursdays so he can be home in time to catch the latest episode of Search for One Piece, a pirate drama based loosely on Roger’s life. He particularly enjoys the harlequin character). 

Loves meddling in any drama that comes up aboard the ship. Sometimes even starts drama just for entertainment, like the time he told Lucky Roux that he saw Limejuice sneaking steaks from the freezer, or when he robbed Beckman blind and left traces of a turkey leg at the scene of the crime. 

Thinks childish pranks are the funniest thing in the world. Pranks prospective crew members to see how they respond; screens them based on whether they find his jokes funny. Beckman insists this is not the best way to do things but Shanks persists. But Shanks isn't just being childish. He's making sure everyone who joins his crew has a good nature as that is, in his opinion, the most important thing. If you can't trust your crew, you're dead in the water.

Was definitely posing when the government snapped the photo for his wanted poster but pretends it was completely candid. Has a habit of comparing his wanted poster to the posters of his enemies.

He also uses his wanted poster to fish for compliments, especially from his crew. “That’s a pretty good picture, isn’t it?” “I don’t look half bad in that, do I?” “The real reason the marines are hunting me- the sight of my wanted poster makes their wives swoon.”  

Refers to himself as, “that handsome devil.” 

Smells like body odor and weed, but in a Matthew McConaughey kind of way (that is to say, it works for him). 

Animals and babies always like him. He insists the trick is to act uninterested. 

He is genuinely good-natured, but he definitely uses his sense of humor to disguise how terrifying he truly is. Is a pro at lulling people into a false sense of security. Definitely slouches on purpose to seem less intimidating.

Secretly paid off Luffy's "treasure tab" at Makino's bar. Didn't do it just to be kind to the poor kid but actually because he believed Luffy when he said he'd pay it back in full and did it to annoy Luffy a decade or two down the line. (When Luffy finally goes back to pay Makino and she informs him Shanks already did, Luffy blows a gasket.)

———

Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[agaypanic]

heyyy, can I request a chase x fem!reader oneshot where they are like online friends and have grown to like eachother so much to the point he invites her to the island. He's boasting about it but no one believes him until she shows up. Chase is giving her a tour and some of the guys try to show off how powerfull they are and shes not impressed, she's only ever blown away when chase starts to talk all genius-like (Because intellegience is such an aphrodisiac). Its a little based off that one episode where hes defending himself from the others saying how he has talked to girls and that he has an online friend who is possibly a girl.

Smart's Considered Superior (Chase Davenport X Reader)

Masterlist

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Summary: Chase decides to invite one of his online friends to the island. Everyone’s shocked to find that this person actually exists, and even more so when it’s a girl. Chase’s brothers try to impress her with their bionics, but she’s too focused on Chase’s intelligence to even spare a glance.

A/N: in this, chase helped donald make leo’s bionic leg for plot purposes

***

Chase was known to be a perfectionist. Being the most intelligent man in the world gave the boy a superiority complex. He needed everything to be his way, and his way was always above and beyond anyone else’s standards.

So no one was too surprised to see him running around the academy to make sure everything was spick and span, and everyone was on their best behavior.

“Chase, what’s up with you?” Bree asked as she watched her brother frantically clean up the Mentor’s Quarters they shared. “You're being weird.”

“Weirder than usual.” Adam corrected.

“I have a friend coming over,” Chase answered shortly.

“A friend?” Adam, Bree, and Leo looked at each other for a few seconds before bursting out in laughter. Chase rolled his eyes and walked out of the room, heading to the common area. His siblings followed him, still amused. “Very funny, Chase.”

“I’m serious,” the genius hissed, stopping in front of the hydroloop’s doors. “She’s on her way right now.”

“She?” Adam’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Now I know it’s a joke.”

“It’s not a joke. You can see for yourself.”

“Oh, I’d love to!” Adam settled into a chair by the window, keeping a watchful eye on the hydroloop station. Bree and Leo quickly joined him.

Chase shook his head before turning back to the hydroloop. No matter how much teasing he would endure from his family, he was determined to enjoy today.

After about a minute, Chase’s siblings were waiting for him to drop the act. Nothing was happening.

But then suddenly, the hydroloop car could be heard zooming into the station. Everyone perked up, waiting for the doors to open to see who would be on the other side.

“Oh my god.” Bree gasped as she watched someone step out of the hydroloop. “It is a girl!”

Adam, Bree, and Leo watched in disbelief as you stepped into the common area, smiling at Chase. He reached out for a hug, which you eagerly returned. In a flash, the three siblings were out of their seats and standing close to you and Chase, observing the interaction curiously.

“It’s so great to finally see you- Oh!” You were talking to Chase when the sudden presence of the three others surprised you. Chase sighed.

“Y/n, these are my siblings; Adam, Bree, and Leo. Guys, this is my friend Y/n.”

“You’re friends with a girl?” You couldn’t help but laugh at Adam’s question. Chase sighed and rolled his eyes, clearly less amused. “How did you even meet her?”

“Online,” you answered simply before deciding to go into the long explanation of it. “Well, I went to Mission Creek High, but Chase and I had only interacted a little bit. And then you guys got busted for the whole bionic thing and moved here, so we fell out of touch, but then we found each other again online. We’ve been talking for, like, months before Chase finally asked me to come over here.”

Adam, Bree, and Leo stared at you, processing what you had just told them.

“No, this has to be a prank.” Leo decided, much to Chase’s chagrin.

“Come on, Y/n. I’ll show you around the academy.” Chase gently but quickly guided you away from his siblings, who were hot on your tails.

***

“And this is the training center,” Chase said, taking you to the last stop on the tour. There were a few students scattered around, talking or sparring with each other. “Once a week, we have bionic battles so the students can move up a level. But besides that, they just come in to show off to each other.”

“Hey, Y/n!” Adam called out from across the large room.

“Like now.” Chase rolled his eyes, and the four of you looked at the eldest Davenport. 

“Watch this!” With an excited smile on his lips, Adam bent over and easily picked up a large medicine ball. “This is like a thousand pounds, and it feels like holding a baby. Or Leo.”

“Shut up, Adam,” Leo whined at the comment. Meanwhile, you looked only slightly impressed at Adam’s abilities. Leo shook his head and turned to you. “You know, I’m bionic, too,” he said with a smirk.

“Really?” you asked, slightly surprised. From what you could remember from going to school with the Davenports, Leo seemed pretty normal—well, normal for Leo.

“Just his arm and leg,” Chase corrected, and you turned to look at him curiously, silently asking for more information. “Well, our bionics are microchips implanted in our necks and integrated with our nervous systems. But Leo’s right arm and left leg were destroyed in different incidents, so the damaged pieces were replaced with bionic technology.”

“Oh wow,” you said, completely fascinated. Not with Leo, even though the conversation was about him. It was Chase, and the way he talked made it seem like he was an expert in the subject, and it was easy to recall any piece of information. You suppose that that was true about any subject in the world. “Who did all that?”

“Well-” Leo tried to reenter the conversation but was cut off by Chase.

“The arm was made by Douglas Davenport, who, long story short, is our biological father. And the leg was made by me and Mr. Davenport.”

“You made a bionic leg?” You asked, stepping closer to Chase in your excitement. “How?!” 

Chase smiled, quickly falling into a spiel about how he repaired Leo’s leg with bionic technology. Every now and then, Leo would try to say something, or Adam would try to get your attention by lifting a few thousand pounds. But they quickly realized their attempts were futile because you hung on to every word Chase was giving you, completely captivated by his knowledge and the charisma that radiated off of him because of it.

[inksandpensblog]

From how much Purple's presence in "The Prank" was being hyped up, I was expecting him to have more screentime, but that doesn't mean I'm disappointed by the screentime he got.

Because it implies that Red's thought process was something like "let's see, who do I know who's really good at hiding their true intentions and pulling one over on people? Who do I know whose proven skillset involves trickery and luring people into traps? Oh yeah—!" and then he just. Called Purple over like hey, you're good at deception, I need some help here.

And I just. love that that facet of Purple's character is being reinforced. Also it's incredibly funny to me that his entire role in the episode is based on this aspect of his history with the color gang XD

But it's also faintly touching in an odd way, because...Purple has always been framed in a bad light, before, when making use of these traits, because in the past they've fueled much of the conflict between him and the color gang; but now it's a known thing about him, it's a part of him that Red is fully aware of...and Red deliberately seeks him out for those traits, for all the things that made Purple an antagonist in previous episodes. Red actively invites that "undesirable" side of Purple.

And in the episode, it's not treated like a huge deal at all. Because there's nothing complicated about it. It's not a question of morals, or sides, or intentions, or application, or even framing. It's just who Purple is, it's just how Purple does, it's just Purple. And the answer Red was looking for was found in Purple.

(And, whether you believe Purple really understood Green's message in "Note Block Universe" and took it to heart or not, Red's behavior indicates that the rest of the color gang are practicing what Green preached, in regards to being drawn to and accepting Purple's authentic self. Which, in a way, also means that Green's defeat in this episode can be tied back to his own resolution with Purple, which is also amazingly ironic XD)

[not-your-bro]

what i did and didn't (but mostly didn't) like about until dawn remake's character trait changes

hello friends and fans. i am super excited to welcome all my pals back to the latest episode of Laura Yaps About Until Dawn Remake. i've talked about the prologue here and here, and i plan on talking about other elements of the game (visuals, gameplay, narrative changes) whenever life and time allows.

before i go off about the character traits, thanks to @claarria for posting this handy side-by-side of old vs new. super helpful! i'll be using those images here.

and generally speaking, let it be known that i think the font change is so fucking ugly 💖 like god bless but it is so bad 💖💖 and they've made the layout so much less dynamic by just listing all the traits straight down, bullet point style?? it is all very microsoft powerpoint core and it sucks. anyway. onto the characters, in order of appearance.

sam

off topic but very importantly, how did they fuck up sam's face THAT bad?? ballistic moon sapped the life out of her and now there is literally nothing behind those eyes. HOMEGIRL WAKE UP 👏👏

one trait change here: adventurous -> brave. not wrong, but super redundant, because brave is one of the character stats in the menu, so like. at any point when i'm playing her, i can pop in the menu and see exactly how brave she is. it's pointless to put it here.

chris

one change: methodical -> loyal. and honestly. this one slays i can't lie. like yeahhhh 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

i know everyone loves to hate on chris now, but he pushes to help sam even when it puts himself at risk and he goes to the shed to get josh even though josh just traumatized the hell out of him lmao. boy is loyal asf and i'm more than happy to see it replace methodical.

jess

big changes here. i'm not jazzed to see confident go. i always thought smg included it purposefully, because this is how jess is trying to come across, even though she's actually insecure.

and imo trusting fits her far better than, say, driven. based on em's comment about her grades (and the fact that jess doesn't deny it lmao), i don't think she has much drive or ambition at this point in her life. she's always struck me as the kind of person who doesn't have a big dream or passion, and as high school graduation approaches she would feel sort of aimless? like she doesn't know where to go next.

i don't mean these as negatives, btw. jess is a top 3 ud character for me. i just don't think she's driven. and i think she is irreverent. and that's fine. 💖

emily

one change: persuasive -> forthright. like sam's change, this isn't wrong. emily is definitely forthright. but i don't like that we're shifting her further from mike (more on that later), and this change makes her use of words seem less purposeful. like she says what she wants just for the sake of it, instead of: she knows what to say to get people to do what she wants.

matt

matt's trait changes make for a much different impression. motivated and ambitious have been swapped with obliging and dependable, which shifts the focus from himself to others. we're drawing attention to an agreeable, go-with-the-flow personality, rather than the fact that he's got big dreams for himself (get that scholarship, bud).

i'm not sure i'm the biggest fan, because it kind of makes him seem like a doormat? it's possible that he never talks to emily about how she treats him, and he does film the prank on hannah even though he doesn't seem like he would. still...i guess i wish there was more of a mix here. he can be obliging and dependable, but he doesn't have to be, depending on your choices, and this really makes him feel like everything he does is for the sake of others.

mike

i appreciate ballistic moon pulling these shots back a little - some of them were really, like, up the character's nose lmfao. but bro those traits are unreadable against mike's skin 😭😭

anyway, mikey gets a complete overhaul. i've been over brave with sam. it's a waste of a slot. and it's not that mike isn't driven or charismatic. i mean, he is definitely charismatic, given his popularity in fandom. even i have this feeling of 'man, i should not be charmed by him' <- is definitely charmed by him. but i think we're losing a lot by separating him from emily, with whom he used to share 2 out of 3 traits (intelligent and persuasive). i always thought that said a lot about why they would be drawn to each other and start a relationship - but also why that relationship wouldn't last.

if i were to give mike any new trait, it'd probably be impulsive, which i think is a great fit for him. mike may be intelligent, but when it comes to decisions, he's a man of action - a doer, not a thinker. which is just as likely to lead to a bad outcome as it is a good one.

ashley

one change here (forthright -> sensitive), but god does it fucking suck. SENSITIVE?????? be fr. is ashley sensitive or is she traumatized nonstop for eight hours? she was upset when she was chained to a wall and thought she was going to die! when she thought her friend died! when she thought her other dead friend's ghost was trying to communicate with them! when she was put in a life-or-death trap a second time! that sure was sensitive of her!

if i could revert only one trait change, it would be this one. 0/10.

josh

must be said that josh's shot is much better in the remake. it could not have been worse, like i will never understand how anyone looked at that half-closed eye and open mouth and was like yeah that's a good first impression LMAO. so, cool with that.

tbh i also like josh's trait changes? this is another total overhaul, but honestly, at the risk of getting booed offstage, i'm happy with this. if i'm being real, complex was always a waste of a slot. like...yeah? i hope so? all of your characters should be complex to some degree. it feels like a weird shade to the other characters to point out one guy, specifically, as complex. so the rest of them are simple, then? 🤨 it's not that i would argue against josh being the most complex - i do think he is (though i realize my stance on that means little because i'm up this man's ass). it's just weird to draw attention to it.

as for the other traits, yeah, josh is thoughtful and loving. for sure. but i feel like these are sort of...level 2 traits. ykwim? and the new traits are level 1. if you hung out with josh in a casual way, in a group setting, remake traits would be more likely to spring to mind, to match that initial impression. i think you'd have to look more closely or spend more time to clock that he's thoughtful and loving, because outside of his sisters, i don't think he's particularly straightforward or overt in the way he conveys those things, and he wouldn't draw attention to them. maybe i'm leaning too hard on the version of him i've fleshed out in my mind, but josh is the kind of guy who would, like, remember one offhand comment matt made about liking a specific brand of beer. months later, at the next lodge trip, it's there in the fridge, and josh says nothing about it. but he remembered, and he got it. that's josh's brand of thoughtfulness. in my opinion.

none of these six traits are wrong, i just think the new ones are better 'first impression' traits for him.

[arrowawsome]

since these are always fun; witch of these did *not* happen in hermitcraft

[chasing-posts]

People who deserve redemption, according to Thomas Astruc, written from least to worst of a bad character.

Kim Lê Chiến

Dumbass teenage boy who could have killed Marinette with a dumb prank he was completely concious of, and willing to commit. The boy was also a brat/ bully throughout season 1, but after Dark Cupid had apparently decided to be nicer off screen. Became friends with Max and got a girlfriend... BUT still refers to Chloe as the funniest and prettiest girl, IN FRONT of said girlfriend. Sees nothing wtong with what he did to the point of getting upset enough to become akumatized over the issue. He was allowed to be a super hero without even apologizing to Marinette dor over a year, and did a lot of dumb stuff tht was also forgiven just because. Is also one of the most inconsistently written characters in tbe story.

Jagged Stone

Possibly the most likable man on the list. However this man abandoned his twins and didn't contact them for 14 years. He kept his identity a secret and it's not even known if he paid child support before coming back into their lives, and constantly having fights with their mother.

That said he's put low on the list because we don't know if he did or did not pay child support. He's not mean to his children or kids in general, he is legit trying to make up for his absence and he originally left because his life was too chaotic to have custody. There's a lot of ambiguity and behind the scenes drama that is not explored (*cough thought out cough cough*) in this family, and it's even possible the mom fought for full custody to keep him away after a big break up. The situation is too ambiguous to judge.

Sabrina Raincomprix

Sabrina has been Chloe's number 1 supporter and follower for almost a decade. They were childhood friends and wherever Chloe went, she went. She has been supporting Chloe bad deeds and even happily participating throughout most of them. There were two incidents in season 1 where they almost stopped being friends and Marinette made an attempt to leave the friendship once, but for the most part has stuck throigh and done everything Chloe has wanted her to do and loved doing it. This includes stealing, faking notes, doing her homework, coming up with schemes to bully, laughing at all the chaos, making grown women and other teens cry and so much more. She was even given the dog Miraculous in season 4, by Marinette, despite doing nothing to earn it and only being good at soccer and wanting to SAVE Chloe, so they could bully another day.

In the end she's given a redemption arc because she feels bad for stealing (all of a sudden), and because Chloe was becoming friends with Lilah. The fact she's an active participant in bullying who gets off on the power trip of putting others drown, is not brought up again

Alec Cataldi

Alec's career is based on putting other people down, and is responsible for the first akumatized victim in the show back in episode 1. For four seasons, his entire personality was finding people, mocking them, on television or in person, and getting views off it. He's a spiteful man who makes his living off the suffering of others.

However in season 4 we find out that his biggest dream was to become a drag queen when he was little, and he was mocked for it. After that happened he shaved his hair off and started putting down other people's passions, in the same way his had dreams had been squashed. After his first and only akumatization, he has a break down and epithany, decides to live his true self and raise people up instead instead. On paper, he has the best redemption arc so far.

Félix Fathom

Fèlix was introduced in season 3, and his first on-screen acts include destroying Adrien's things, trying to ruin his cousin's reputation and leave him friendless, sexually assaulting Ladybug, and stealing from the Agreste family. He continues his bad deeds in season four with identity theft, and stealing all the Miraculous' from Ladybug and giving them to Gabriel/ AKA Hawkmoth, in return for the Peacock Miraculous.

We learn in season 5 he's a sentimonster who's been acting out due to an abusive father and his fragile existence in the world. He uses his power to remove everyone in the world in a misplaced effort to make him and his cousin happy, before eventually being talked down by Kagami and Adrian.

He eventually starts stalking Kagami and after revealing himself, they start a relationship together. He seems socially inept and yet despite all his knowledge on his, Adrien's and Kagami's situation, he decides to never tell Adrian aboht what's happening and only Marinette in the most awkward dance number ever.

All in all Fèlix had every opportunity and all the power to reveal Hawkmoth's true identy from the start, but never took the steps to reveal his identity and work towards true redemption. And if he decided to tell Chat Noir/ Ladybug the whole story, the three of them could have defeated monarch. And Adrien and Kagami would nit have been forced to goto London.

André Bourgeois

Andrè is a corrupt mayor, who uses his elected title and money to regularly take advantage of the people of Paris. He has fired people without just cause (even his own "friends"), tried to steal things he was denied, abused funds, and enable his daughters worst decisions. He raised Chloe alone since she was 4-6, and has both neglected her emotional needs, refused to parent his child, rewarded her bad behavior with material possessions, and allowed her to idolize her mother, and even encouraged her to model her behavior after her mother she abandoned them, and then abandons her and hands her over to her abusive mother at the end of the series, while taking in her half sibling, who he has not raised and has no legal claim over.

Andrè blames the women in his life for how he's turned out. Claiming he only wanted to be a film director, and only left to be a successful business tirant and corrupt political figure, for his wife Audrey. Who he still stays married to after she cheats on him, and moves away for half a decade, abandoning hik and their own daughter. He chooses to stay married. Chose to stay in that career and chose to constantly rip off and screw over the people of paris. Often being the cause of akumatization, and ruinging big events for his daughter's whims. Keep in mind, the only reason Chloe is like this now, is because of Aundrè's parenting, yet he never takes responsibility for that, and instead decides to abdocate his position, illigally allow his daughter to take control of the city, let her take all the fall for HIS crimes, and then abandon her to live with his step daughter instead.

All this to say that Andrè may be the second worst on the list, but I hate him the most.

Gabriel Agreste

What can't you say about this man. This man loves being evil. He dances through the halls when a scheme looks like it's about to work. His entire power is taking advantage of people at thier worst, enslaving them and then making them do his bidding. His list of victims includes literal babies, children of all ages, the mentally ill, the elderly, and even his own son. The son which he claims to love but whom he actively manipulates, abuses and mistreats throughout the ENTIRE series. He literally controls him to make him do whatever he wants, and when he acts out or says something he does not like, he belittles him and will actively punish him if he gets less than perfect.

Gabriel also disrespects and will backstab all his allies. Has enslaved 2 kwami's and claims everything he does is for his dead wife, whose corpse he keeps locked away in his basement. He is actively going against her wishes to stay dead and manipulates the love of the women around him, like Natalie, to move forward with his evil plans.

Lastly when he says he does it all for his wife, he's lying. Because the when he has the opportunity to go back in time and save his wife, or fight Ladybug, he actively chooses the latter.

He constantly terrorizes Paris, actively makes situations worst for people to make more akumatized victims, destroys property, all while he hides away in the shadows. Then finally in season 5, when he is confronted by Ladybug, he is given the opportunity to reform and really think about what he did. To reflect on all he's done. He uses a moment of vulnerability and weakness to manipulate Marinette and treats her like the puppet she's named after. His last act of the show is stealing the Miraculous, using the cat and Ladybug to destroy and recreate the world how he wills, where he's the hero and no one knows he's the villain, and his son who he abused for 5 seasons and now has left parentless, now sees him as a hero.

[therealcocoshady]

Kinktober 2024 - Day 22 - Dirty Talk

Kinktober 2024 Masterlist

A/N : Here is the Kinktober episode for the « Dirty Talk » prompt. Thank you so much to the anon who suggested it to me in the Asks ✨. I hope you enjoy it !

CW : Dirty Talk - Flirting

In the studio's dimmed lights, Marshall paced the floor, his fingers tapping an impatient rhythm against his thigh. He’d been trying to work with you for months, bending schedules, pulling favors, convincing his team, convincing you. It was almost unheard of for an artist of his stature to try this hard to work with an emerging artist such as you. As it was for such a new talent to be so wary and hesitant to work with such a big name in the industry. When you first got an email telling you that Eminem wanted to collaborate with you, you thought it was a prank and did not even bother replying. But then, you got a call from Paul Rosenberg, assuring you it was real. Anyone would have jumped at the opportunity but you had your reservations : sure, being on a track with Eminem would be huge, there was no denying that. But still, the promise of exposure was not enough to convince you. You didn’t want to be just another pretty voice he’d use on a track. You wanted control, artistic freedom. And as someone who was trying to build a brand based on being audacious and unapologetic, you weren’t sure that he was the right fit. After all, it wasn’t 1999 anymore and, if Eminem was a household name, you really would have wanted to collaborate with Slim Shady.

When you kindly replied that you had your reservations about the collaboration request, you expected things to end there. But they didn’t. Marshall Mathers himself got on the phone with you to try and convince you. And, seconds after you said you would think about it, you received a few files, beats he produced in your Inbox. He offered for you to choose the one you wanted to work on, assuring you that he had made them with you on his mind. You actually loved every one of them and there was only so much artistic courting that you could resist, so you ended up agreeing. And as soon as his team received word that you were on board, they booked your flight and hotel reservation. And judging by the private plane sent your way, as well as the penthouse suite in the fanciest hotel in Detroit, you could tell they were putting efforts into making the whole thing happen.

In truth, Marshall had been obsessed with your music for a while. He had randomly discovered one of your tracks and he had ended up binge-listening to everything you had ever put out. Why you weren’t a superstar yet, he was not sure. What he did know, however, is that he needed to be on a track with you. Soon enough, a big, household name would collaborate with you and he would have lost his chance. Every time he heard your voice, gritty and lush with this edge he couldn’t quite define, he felt himself get pulled deeper into an obsession he couldn’t shake. You were fresh, unlike anything he’d heard—raw, provocative, and willing to cut to the bone. And now, finally, you were coming to his studio to work with him.

The door swung open, and in walked the woman who’d been running laps in his mind for the better part of the year : you. She was as striking as her voice, with a smirk that hinted at trouble, and eyes that seemed to take in everything all at once. One that said you knew exactly what you were worth, and that you were not impressed by his notoriety. One look at you and he could tell you weren’t one of those new artists who got all shy once they were face to face with him, often trying too hard to mold themselves to his expectations. And, of course, he liked it. That was exactly what he was looking for. Being one of the greatest was, in many ways, a blessing, but it was also a curse, especially when one was looking to constantly renew themselves, push the pen and their artistic boundaries.

There was an instant click, a mutual electricity hanging in the air. Marshall didn’t miss the way your gaze lingered on him, a mix of curiosity and challenge. “Didn’t think you’d actually pull it off,” you said, eyebrows raised as you looked around the high-end studio. Your voice, lower than he’d expected, hit him like a sucker punch, all slow confidence and swagger. “Didn’t give myself a choice,” he shot back, holding your gaze. “When I want something, well, in that case, someone, I get it.” You raised an eyebrow, your lips curving into that signature smirk. “I guess that makes two of us. Let’s get to work, yeah?”

You settled in, talking about the track, about the way he wanted to play with tension, throw caution to the wind, using some of your work as inspiration and reference. You were on the same wavelength from the start—both looking to take risks, create something that would linger in people’s minds, make the audience feel something intense.

The track he had in mind was something dark and seductive, a pulsing bass line underlying a beat that was slow but biting. He laid down his first verse, his voice smooth and confident, every word dripping with an intentional intensity. He could feel you watching him from the booth, the way your eyes followed every line he delivered. He didn’t hold back, letting his lyrics flirt with the edge of decency, taking up space in a way that dared you to match it. Of course, you were intent on proving that you were up to the challenge. When it was your turn, you took a deep breath, closed your eyes, and let it all pour out, your voice a rich, smoky counterpoint to his. Your verse didn’t just match his energy—it went toe to toe, pushing him in ways he hadn’t anticipated. You turned his words back on him, responding with lines that danced between taunt and temptation. Your lyrics seemed to pull at him, inviting and provocative, every line like a hand wrapped around his collar, drawing him in. As you recorded, Marshall’s mind raced. This wasn’t just a track. It was something else—something that was as personal as it was artistic. The tension wasn’t just in the music. It was in the room, filling the space between you, every glance and every word laced with double meanings.

When you wrapped up, they both took a breath, looking at each other across the soundboard. The track was like nothing he’d done before—raw, sensual, a collision of their styles in a way that felt both inevitable and dangerous. “Damn,” you murmured, still catching her breath. “Didn’t think you had that in you.” He smirked, leaning back in his chair. “I guess you bring it out of me.”

The two of you sat in silence, the unspoken hanging there, both of you fully aware that you had created something unforgettable—not just in the music, but in the connection you had formed, a synergy that was addictive, electrifying, and undeniable. The hypothesis was verified as soon as his team heard it and you saw their eyes open wide with a mix of shock and excitement. They exchanged glances, murmuring among themselves as they processed what they’d just heard. One of his longtime producers. “Man…that was…” He trailed off, shaking his head, unable to find the right words. “It’s insane. I’ve never heard anything like it from you before.” Paul, his manager, practically vibrating with excitement, chimed in. “That track—it’s got this… it’s hot, but it’s intense, like… it’s like you two were…” He hesitated, not daring to finish the sentence. You let out a low laugh and raised an eyebrow when you caught the unspoken word.

Marshall smirked, feeling that same rush he’d felt in the booth, that electricity that seemed to carry through every single line you’d spit back and forth. “It’s a vibe,” he said, his voice casual, but the gleam in his eyes told everyone that he knew exactly what you had both created. “We went all out on this one.” Paul turned to him, a sudden fire in his eyes. “You can’t let this just be an audio track, man. People have to see this. They need to see that tension. It needs a music video—one that’s as raw as the track itself.” His personal assistant, Tracy, nodded, practically bouncing in her seat. “Exactly. I mean, the lyrics alone…there’s a story there. It’s like a back-and-forth, the chemistry, the intensity. You’re going to leave people craving more if they don’t get the full visual experience.”

You glanced over at him, eyes sparkling. “They’re right, you know. The track isn’t just something you hear—it’s something you feel.” For a moment, he let himself imagine it. A dimly lit set, shadows casting just the right angles, both of your voices echoing through a dark, intimate setting. Your verses bouncing off each other, your eyes locked, the tension between you building in every frame. He could see it perfectly—a music video that wasn’t just a performance but an experience, where every look, every gesture, was a continuation of the fire that had been poured into the track. “All right,” he finally said, feeling a grin stretch across his face. “Let’s make it happen.”

His team erupted in cheers, already throwing around ideas for directors, cinematographers, and set designs. But through it all, you and Marshall stayed locked in, that same spark between you burning as bright as ever. You leaned in, your voice low, almost teasing. “Guess you’re stuck with me for a little longer, then.” He gave a slow, satisfied nod, knowing exactly what you’d just set in motion. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Weeks later, the music video finally dropped, it was like striking a match in a gasoline-soaked room—the internet exploded. Within hours, the video was trending worldwide, fans and critics alike flooding social media with reactions that ranged from awe to outright disbelief. It was intense, raw, and more than a little suggestive. The chemistry that had been palpable on the track was cranked up to maximum on screen, leaving viewers questioning just how much was acting and how much was real.

The video opened in a dimly lit, shadowed room, smoky and moody, with neon lighting casting dramatic hues across the scene. You and Marshall faced each other in the middle of the room, your silhouettes close but never quite touching. The way you exchanged verses was more than just a performance—it felt like a conversation laced with danger, anticipation, and something unmistakably intimate. Each line you spit felt like a challenge, each look lingering just a little too long. One of the most talked-about scenes showed you standing nose-to-nose, voices dropping to a murmur as you exchanged lyrics that sounded more like secret fantasies than lines in a song. His hand brushed down you arm, your gaze locked on his with an intensity that made it impossible for viewers to look away. Every second of the video was like a slow burn, inching closer to the edge without ever quite going over it. But the tension between the two of you was undeniable, and that fine line between performance and reality left people buzzing.

Immediately after the video ended, social media exploded with speculation. Fans were dissecting every moment, rewatching certain frames on repeat, turning them into gifs in the process, trying to find evidence that what they’d witnessed wasn’t just acting. A tweet from a prominent rap reactor read: “That video was more than a collab. Did they actually…?” Another comment racked up thousands of likes: “I swear they DID it on camera. You can’t fake chemistry like that.” Even celebrities chimed in. One famous pop artist tweeted, “Is it just me or did they actually record their dirty talk in te studio? 🔥🔥🔥,” while others posted cryptic reactions that only fueled the frenzy. Fans shared memes about “needing a cigarette after that video” or “wanting what they have.” A rumor began circulating that someone from the crew had leaked hints of “off-camera moments” that were even more intense, stoking the intrigue and mystery surrounding the pair.

When asked about it in interviews, Marshall gave his trademark smirk and brushed it off. “We wanted to make it unforgettable. I’d say we did our job,” he said with a gleam in his eye, adding nothing to deny or confirm the rumors. And yourself, just as sly and playful, simply said, “I guess you’ll never know. But you can certainly dream about it.” The ambiguity only fueled the fire. The video racked up millions of views within days, and the speculation became part of its mystique. Fans debated, celebrities whispered, and music critics declared it “one of the sexiest collaborations of the decade,” a “masterclass in tension and allure.”

The two of you certainly had fun watching people’s reaction to the track. Both of you had enjoyed the collaboration, the artistic chemistry being absolutely undeniable, and when Marshall offered to produce some tracks for your upcoming album, you happily accepted. The two of you spent a lot of time in the studio, getting to know each other and joking around whole you got work done. You were kind of amazed that the hype around your collaboration didn’t seem to die down. You were in a cozy corner of the studio, scrolling through your phones and watching the internet collectively lose its mind. Every tweet, every meme, every fiery reaction sent you both into fits of laughter and smirking exchanges. It felt like you were sharing in on some private joke, one that only you knew the punchline to. “Did you see this one?” you laughed, nudging him and holding your phone out so he could see. It was a meme of the two of you side-by-side with captions that read: ’When you make a whole music video just to flirt,’ and ’They can’t act that well… right?’

He chuckled, shaking his head as he read it. “I mean, they’re not totally wrong,” he murmured, his voice low, a teasing glint in his eyes as he looked up at you. You arched an eyebrow, biting your lip to keep from smiling too much. “Oh, really?” You let the words hang in the air, daring him to take the bait. He leaned back, pretending to think about it. “Maybe,” he said slowly, smirking. “Maybe they’re onto something. All those people guessing we weren’t just acting… I mean, what do you think?”. You gave him a playful shove, laughing. “I think you’re enjoying this way too much.”

“Nah,” he replied, scooting a little closer. “You’re the one who keeps egging them on.” He raised his eyebrow, giving her that signature cocky grin. “You love it. Admit it.” You rolled her eyes, but the smile tugging at your lips betrayed you. “I’m not saying I don’t like watching them squirm a little,” you said, smirking as you glanced down at another comment that read: ’The only thing hotter than the track is the way they look at each other.’ “I mean, they do have a point, though. The chemistry is… undeniable.”

“Oh, we’re undeniable now?” he teased, leaning in close enough that you could feel his breath against your cheek. “Undeniable chemistry, huh?” You shrugged, pretending to be unaffected, though you were pretty sure that he could see the flush creeping up your neck. “I mean… I just call it like I see it,” you murmured, your voice a little lower, a little softer.

There was a charged silence as you both looked at each other, the playful edge lingering but shifting slightly, deepening. His fingers brushed yours, just barely, but enough that you both felt the spark. “You know,” he said quietly, his eyes flicking between her gaze and her lips, “we could give them a little more to talk about.” Your grin was wicked as you leaned in, your voice barely a whisper. “Now that would really set the internet on fire.”

[riacte]

People who enjoy neighbourly shenanigans on Hermitcraft! May I recommend False and Ren:

They’ve got lore (Demise 2, Minister stuff, Big T), infrastructure (rivers and helping out with each other’s bases), lots of pranks and shenanigans (both pranking each other and other hermits)

They twaddle and hang out at each other’s bases so much. False’s second channel FalseLive is filled with vods of her and Ren just hanging out. Like there’s sooo much stuff of them to binge (and more to come because they will inevitably collab again)

They pretty much end up near each other at some point in every season so they’re a reliable duo if you get invested in them. They were neighbours in HC6, started out neighbours in HC9 then did Blue River Raceway with Etho, and they’re sticking close by each other in HC10

All their storylines are so wholesome and cute :3 The famous MCC9 Blue Bats (which is their favourite shared moment), Ren getting the final kill in Demise 2 for False, Ren saying he cannot think of a more worthy winner for BRR, False’s Minister of Transport sign being the only one that remained after the Ren explosion slash execution, Ren giving False a multipass to her base, and on it goes

Shared motifs: winning things, races, crowns / royalty stuff, rivers / ravines (HC6 ravine neighbours, HC9 river raceway, HC10 Big Business rivers), flowers (Ren seems to love throwing flowers at False? Like that time he prank spammed her base with flowers. And of course gifting False her fav Minecraft flower for her birthday :3)

Ren hasn’t been in a MCC team with False after 2021 but MCC has always been their thing (Ren saying he’ll only play when on a team with False, False saying she misses Ren and going “where’s my teammate 🥺”)

Sometimes in the middle of their episodes, they’ll have a short segment of them pranking the other’s base. There’s no explanation or connection. It is what it is.

So yeah they’re really funny and sweet together :3 I also like how they work on builds and infrastructure together, it’s satisfying watching them come up something on the fly and then they somehow make their madness into reality

[candysweetposts]

Episode 8 review (long af)

I want to start this by saying that I will include some talk-points I saw in other posts and that I don't hate the people who made them just the opinions and that we shouldn't fight each other but try to reach the company for improvements. Let's go! This includes spoilers btw.

The episode itself was pretty bad just because the premise was... I guess childish. From the moment I finished Ep 7 and saw the preview for Ep 8 I thought about a moment from HSL, specifically Ep 12 where Candy (Lynn) spies on Lysander to see his back tattoo. When I played that episode I was a teen and I thought it was exciting. Our Candy was also a teen so we can say that what she did was more justifiable since teenagers do crazy stuff all the time. Plus, Lynn's intention was pretty innocent, she just was curious about this boy's tattoo that happened to be on his back. Here is completely different. I am not a teen anymore, and neither are Ysaline or her co-workers. They're probably in their late 20s (at least some). I find this scenario a bit too much for a bunch of adults. I don't care that they're friends, friends should respect each other's boundaries. A good friend wouldn't pull this kind of shit. They all acted as if they were going so see a magic trick or a concert or a famous person, not their friend naked. Why would you want to see that? Just because he "implied" that he's fine with it? What did they expect would happen? Did they though he would laugh out and be like "Haha, you got me" fully naked? This feels like what a bunch of bullies would plan to do with someone. The rest of the episode was ok-ish but having all around this weird stuff it makes me hard to like anything about it. I must admit that there were moments when we would talk about other stuff and it was truly ok and nice, but this is like finding the needle in the haystack.

This goes back to what BV originally planned for this season, to be set in high school. I bet this was a concept for an episode when that was still going. Would be more ok if these people were teens? Maybe... or maybe not. Do you know why? Because most of us are adults and that's why BV made a game with mostly adults having adult life with jobs and stuff and let's not forget... NSFW. And as an adult, I know better than spying on a naked man is creepy and illegal.

Now let's talk about the characters.

Let's start with Roy. He was very nice in the whole episode. He tried to play along but it really looked like he was uncomfortable at some point. And I bet if he could, he would tell others more firmly to stop but he's just such a sweet guy and probably endures for the sake of his friends. He's always sweet and even when he pulled the prank on everyone he even had the idea for all to play with water guns. He acted so nice. We love you, Roy! <3

Speaking of his BFF Devon who just disappointed me. I really thought he would be the first to speak up against this, not the one who started it. I get you're like bros and stuff but AGAIN, do you want to see your bro naked? And if yes, why? Do you have something to confess? What's so funny about embarrassing someone? I didn't get a good look at this route so I can't tell how he is with Candy, but this is not ok. Please, make this better BV.

Thomas. He was an absolute menace. Going from childish remarks to planning all of this to acting like he's in a spy movie (I didn't mind that part but CONTEXT). As I get to know him more and more I realize that he's more of a villain. Knows stuff about people and uses that against them. I get that he's like Mr Robot, but at least in his case, he did what he did because he thought he was doing something good. Thomas just likes to fuck with people. I get it, his moment was pretty cute and moments with him and Candy are cute generally, but let's not sweep this thing under the rug. He likes to lie, remember? I really hope this was a one-time thing. Pls BV. Like he has based moments and this runs it.

Amanda did really grow on me in this episode. Like if before I couldn't stand her now I'm on her side. Whatever you need girl, I'm here for you. She was the first one to step in and say no which was nice. She also said some other nice stuff to us proving she's a girl's girl. I hope this is not a one-time thing because if she goes back to her bad attitude the next episode I'll just hate her again. Sorry!

Jason was very himself this episode. Nothing to note. I liked his moment but I hate how Candy went overboard and basically imagined them making out. What? Is this how you develop feelings for a person? By fantasizing about kissing them? That came out of nowhere. I mean yeah, she could talk about how he makes her feel and stuff but straight up imagining a fanfic on the spot? And I hate the direction his route goes. Candy always being in distress and vulnerable, and this gentleman shows up to save her. Cool, but when do we have a mature moment... and not that kind of mature. I guess we have to wait and I hope it's worth it. I want to know about him more. What's with his dad and mom, his family in general, his past, you know. So let's stop doing weird shit and start exploring these characters BV.

Girl 1 and 2 were very not nice. They just went along with the plan, especially Elenda, who... let's just say I don't like how she's presented most of the time. I get she's s fun bubbly girl, but idk... it's just the situation that makes it worse not her as a person. Brune... You're asking what's wrong with Roy? What's wrong with you?

The illustrations were fire. I must admit, I love them. I see a lot of improvements. The lighting and colors blend very well. Props to the artist/(s?). My favorite is, you guessed, Thomas'. Yeah, he always has nice illustrations. Although, I don't get the whole going naked with him on the beach. Like, we barely know the guy. Same for the others, except Amanda, because she's a girl.

Now, let's talk about the community response. I feel like, at first, everyone was pretty upset, and rightfully and some were just "We're not that upset because it's just a game guys, shut up. You're just hating". Well, of course, some are going to exaggerate but most of us have valid reasons to be upset. Saying that this is just a game and we should leave if we don't like it it's just straight up BS arguments. I've seen this argument everywhere and I am sick and tired of that. I won't leave no matter what because not only do I love this game, but I also love the community and everything that makes it. It's not just a game, it's something I invested time and money and I won't let that go to waste. Also, I can use the same arguments against those people. Most of us here want to just enjoy this game and chat about it. Stuff like this will appear all the time. Let's just say what we have to see and hope the game gets better. And you're lucky I don't remember every single one of these people's arguments because I would said more. Also, WE KNOW that MCL is not representative of reality or that is has some sort of educational purpose. We're not asking for realism, we're asking for a decent plot. It's that so hard to do?

Lastly, BV made a pr response on the forum where they said that they saw the backlash and that they can't do anything about the episode or the other episodes but that will improve in the future. I.. I want to believe them. Truly. So, please, for the love of God, don't pull this sort of stuff again. Ok? Please.

That being said, Thank you for reading this. It was quite long, but I like writing long ass texts. Sorry!

[bellshazes]

i seriously assumed etho being nice to bdubs was an act of psychological warfare but it seems he's genuinely guilty. like bdubs i still think this is psychological warfare because:

being mean to people by being "nice" is extremely classic etho behavior: see guude's record, obsidian coffin prank, killing bdubs "with kindness" to get out of the hit on him from doc

he is actually still using bdubs as cover from yellows guessing his task, so bdubs is correct to be suspicious of ulterior motives

bdubs initially reacts like this is the tee up for an ego joke, but becomes increasingly unsettled when etho won't stop being effusively nice (while also being weird bc of his actual task)

etho has to know bdubs well enough by now to know he'd react uncomfortably with the constant praise.

etho is extremely aware bdubs is eagerly watching his SL episodes based on the comment on last week's vid & their discussion of it this week

they never ever ever told each other when they were boogeymen in Last Life and laughed chasing each other around pretending to be one mutually but etho still shouted i'm the boogey when killing scar just like bdubs did when killing giran

their favorite thing to do is to menace each other second only to not finishing projects together

ultimately he can be forgiven being really fucking weird to bdubs bc bdubs is Like That and will probably think it's even funnier from etho's pov

to sum up the intricate rituals: oh you feel bad bc bdubs went on a suicide mission after asking you for help and you realized only afterward when it was too late that you broke your promise to him and now you feel guilty so you're going to make up for it by telling him you love him but it's tied to a joke which you ultimately reveal via knowing he will be in your audience when the video is released rather than talking like human beings because when everyone doubted that you loved him before it was because you knew he knew you loved him bc he actually can't handle being outright praised and bickering fondly between admiration is the foundation of your 10 year long friendship? where have i heard this before

[rhondafromhr]

I normally don’t like social media/youtuber AUs but I just came up with a really unhinged one that I feel compelled to subject y’all to.

So, Stephanie’s a podcast girlie. She started one to rebel against the constant pressure to stay out of the public eye and not do anything to make her dad look bad by saying a bunch of things she know will enrage the public (like “peanuts the pocket squirrel is overrated”) and having controversial guests. As it took off, she really started to enjoy the financial independence and attention/validation it brought her, eventually moving to LA to do it full-time.

Grace has a fundamentalist channel (not unlike Girl Defined) where she basically just spouts purity culture bullshit. She’s controversial and while she does have a decent amount of people following her unironically, most of her views are hate watches and she gets a lot of her engagement from commentary channels dunking on her. One of those channels is run by none other than Peter Spankoffski - most of his content is nerdy/science based stuff and that’s his real passion, but he needs to make rent and the videos about Grace are what get views and money.

Stephanie decides that having them both on her podcast would make for one hell of an episode and they agree to do it. She asks questions she knows will get them riled up and cause arguments. It escalates to an all-out screaming match at some points, but the second the cameras are off Grace completely switches up, just totally calm and unbothered. Then she hits on Stephanie, which really confuses the other two. It turns out she’s a grifter - she hasn’t bought into the things she preaches on her channel in a long time, but she keeps it up for the money and because she’s been doing it for so long she doesn’t know what else she would do. Steph and Pete both get it so they’re just like “oh, cool, respect.” Pete invites them to a party hosted by his friend Ruth - an aspiring actress and popular lifestyle vlogger. Her real dream is live theater, but she has a lot of anxiety and she’s way more comfortable talking to a camera and posting online than performing in front of a crowd. The few roles she has gotten have been less about her talent and more about using her following to sell tickets, which is a big insecurity of hers.

At the party, they run into Max, who has one of those awful prank channels where he’s an absolute menace to the public and Richie, his camera man (they met and became unlikely friends in college. They started the channel when Max got an injury that kept him from playing football and had a crisis over what to do with his life). Richie can’t believe this is what he’s using his film degree for and he constantly tries to get Max to pivot to more serious content. The six all get to talking and realize they all grew up in Hatchetfield (Max went to Sycamore in this universe. He was still a literal monster and bullied everyone there, but Hatchetfield High was safe). They talk for hours about all the strange occurrences they noticed back home and the fact that they all suspect some sinister, supernatural forces are at work there. Eventually, they decide to travel back there, investigate and exploit their findings for content in the most epic collab the world’s ever seen.

[ceramic-galanter]

Hermitcraft Guide: Transcript/accessible version

Hermitcraft is a vanilla style* multiplayer server that has been running in a season format since 2012. Each season, the players move to a new world and start anew, meaning now’s the perfect time to start watching!

The server is invite only, and new people can join only when the existing Hermits unanimously agree that they would be a good fit. The Hermits have regular meetings to discuss new ideas and any concerns.

I don’t recommend watching every episode by every Hermit. There’s shows like HermitCraft Recap to keep you up to date! Don’t feel obligated to watch everything, just have fun!

* the server is mostly unmodded, but in recent seasons, the Hermits have been implementing custom items and texture packs for the sake of storytelling

Individual hermit descriptions under the cut

Descriptions are all edited by myself, with some contributions from other people :)

Hermit: BdoubleO100

Quote: “Axe wielding maniac, that’s me!”

Flags: USA

Description: Bdubs is a master at using unconventional blocks in his highly detailed builds.

It’s a point of pride to always be the one to sleep and skip the night before the others can.

He’s often teased about his height despite not being the shortest Hermit.

Hermit: Cubfan135

Quote: “There is redstone back there… Basically, it does stuff.”

Flags: USA

Description: Cub is really good at basically every aspect of Minecraft, and always goes big in his projects. With Scar, he created a capitalistic empire and then decided he didn’t care for industry afterward, since he had already won. Cub then became a freeloading basement dweller. He enjoys confusing other people with strange antics.

Hermit: Docm77

Quote: “We will crush them with our redstone spaghetti”

Flags: Germany

Description: A bit of an intense guy, Doc is unafraid to play the scary villain. Don’t let that fool you – he’s a big softie. His Twitter is 50% “hey who wants to see the game-breaking death machine I built” and 50% about his adorable kid, nicknamed “Doccy”

His arm was canonically destroyed by the Minecraft dev Dinnerbone back in 2013.

[Desciption provided by anon]

Hermit: Ethoslab

Quote: “Xisuma is okay with pretty much everything I do if he doesn’t find out about it.”

Flags: Canada

Description: Etho is a Minecraft O.G. and the creator of many of the redstone designs that everyone uses. He’s a very dedicated player with an unconventional style, and the other Hermits are a bit obsessed with him. He’s your favourite YouTuber’s favourite YouTuber. And there’s a reason for that.

Hermit: FalseSymmetry

Quote: The Queen of Hearts, Heads and Body Parts

Flags: United Kingdom

Description: Very approachable and friendly, but has a reputation for her confidence in PVP. False works on very large, thematically strong builds. She was the first Minecraft Championship participant to achieve multiple consecutive wins.

Hermit: Geminitay

Quote: “How am I supposed to Live Laugh Love in these conditions!?”

Flags: Canada, Bisexual

Description: Gem is a talented builder with an appreciation of cute aesthetics that’s matched only by her thirst for blood. She’s truly earned the descriptor “Geminislay.”

She joined in season 8, and has effectively struck fear into the hearts of the other Hermits, particularly Etho, despite her wholesome personality.

Hermit: Grian

Quote: “Not everything I do has to start a war, okay? Sometimes I just want to start a society of sewer mole people.”

Flags: United Kingdom

Description: Grian always builds big and pranks bigger. He delights in nothing less than being a public nuisance. This starts (good-natured) wars within the server repeatedly.

He’s very social, but is basically glued to Mumbo and Scar. Infamously never bothers with the backs of his builds.

Hermit: Impulse SV

Quote: "I hate being bad at stuff!"

Flags: USA

Description: Impulse gets a reputation for being super nice all the time but he will hold a grudge forever.

He once moved his entire base up by one block because he thought it would make it look better (it did)

One season he ate crystals.

[Description provided by sudden-memory-loss]

Hermit: Hypnotizd

Quote: “And then I found an enderchest here, it’s got a lot of good stuff in it!”

Flags: USA

Description: Hypno's one of the more reserved Hermits, sticking to himself (+ bothering xB and Jevin). He's extremely laid-back and has a little bit of a deadpan silly sense of humor. He’s a very observant guy who builds geometric and rustic creations. His post-annotated runs of the minigame Decked Out 2 are great if you want to see someone actively break down how they play!

[Description provided by anon]

Hermit: Iskall85

Quote: “Let’s not end it on a goodbye, let’s end it on a Hallo”

Flags: Sweden

Description: A hardworking builder and redstone engineer. Loves making minigames, most of which revolve around gambling. Iskall is a dedicated hater of diorite blocks. Creator of the Vault Hunters modpack and server(s), which he has spent most his time playing recently.

Hermit: JoeHills

Quote: “Sufficiently advanced bothering-each-other is indistinguishable from teamwork”

Flags: USA

Description: Joe is a strange person, and his brand of absurdity cannot easily be put into words. He typically ends his videos with a poem or strange moral. Joe makes funny low energy videos, perfect for those who want to watch something laid-back.

Hermit: iJevin

Quote: “It’s actually pretty straightforward and almost easy. Sometimes.”

Flags: USA

Description: Unashamed. Just in general. A real hard worker who’s willing to destroy a massive project and start over. This commitment carries over into prank wars, which escalate to truly ludicrous heights.

Hermit: Keralis

Quote: “Let’s take the Black Death. I like the sound of that.”

Flags: Sweden, Poland

Description: Keralis favours modern, industrial-styled builds that carry the impression of wealth and prestige. His creations always have a strong sense of life to them. Keralis has a habit of referring to the others with silly nicknames such as “Shashwammy” and  “Bubbles”,

Hermit: PearlescentMoon

Quote: “Yeah, I’m a little suspicious of myself to be honest.”

Flags: Australia

Description: Pearl is perhaps one of the best builders in all of MCYT. Her works are awe-inspiring in scale, but really shine in their details. A long-time friend of Grian, she joined HC in season 8 and fits right in, with a unique energy that’s full of fun. She is always up for a light bit of pranking or teasing, with unstoppable chaotic energy when she’s up at 5am for events.

[Description provided by cerealisafunbath and anon]

Hermit: Mumbo Jumbo

Quote: “If I forget, slap me. With a cold, vegan fishcake”

Flags: United Kingdom

Description: Mumbo is best known for his eccentric redstone creations. He’s sometimes too ambitious for his own good – his ideas blow up in his face at the worst possible moments. He’s got a lovable awkward energy and strange, extremely British mannerisms.

Hermit: GoodTimesWithScar

Quote: “A laugh is worth far more than a diamond.”

Flags: USA

Description: Scar’s building skills and storytelling will make believe in magic and want to see what he’ll do next. Scar can pull pranks and act the villain as good as anyone else on Hermitcraft, but no matter what role Scar is playing, you will have a good time. He’s banned from Canada, so he banned the nation of Canada from his theme park.

Scar IRL has a chronic disease that he’s very open about, and uses a wheelchair. Check out his day in the life videos!

[Description provided by anon]

Hermit: Rendog

Quote: “Have a lovely day warmbloods, I’m off to sharpen my bones.”

Flags: United Kingdom, South Africa

Description: Ren is the hermit most likely to jump in to some over-the-top storytelling, mixing it with his regular content for some impressive arcs. He’s played a lot of roles, from mind-controlled business tycoon to time travelling hippie.

Hermit: StressMonster101

Quote: “Come and chase me boys! I’m going to murder you!”

Flags: United Kingdom

Description: Stress is known for describing everything she loves as “gorgeous!” It’s definitely her catchphrase.

She uses a lot of pink and purple, and loves bright fantasy aesthetics. She’s closest with Iskall, who she will bother at every opportunity.

Hermit: Tango Tek

Quote: “Would I put a tu-tu on my Fifi? Come on!”

Flags: USA

Description: Tango is the creator of the in-Minecraft minigame Decked-Out, which everyone on the server is obsessed with. He’s a lover of all things dramatic and explosive. Tango is hungry for feedback and improvement, and values honesty about his work. World's best minigame creator and world's worst minigame player. Master of making strange noises.

[Desciption provided by sudden-memory-loss]

Hermit: VintageBeef

Quote: “I respectfully decline your creepy ways.”

Flags: Canada

Description: Beef is the most enthusiastic user of the mechanic that allows players to make massive builds into tiny map-based pixel art. He uses this for a lot of different purposes, from wallpaper to custom card games. It takes a lot of dedication, which he has in spades. He's oblivious in the best way possible. He’s walking in circles, he’s misplacing items, he’s having fun.

[Description provided by two anonymous contributors]

Hermit: WelsKnight

Quote: “I’ve got a fever and the only prescription is trading card games.”

Flags: USA

Description: As his name suggests, Wels (knight) has a strong interest in medieval aesthetics, which he uses heavily in his builds. He’s also recorded sea shanties. Former paralegal and court reporter for the US army.

Hermit: xBCrafted

Quote: “Awwww yeah!”

Flags: USA

Description: xB posts often, about two or three times a week. His videos always go over his thought process a lot more than anyone else. His builds have a strong focus on environmental storytelling.

Hermit: XisumaVoid

Quote: “I’ve got derp on the mind”

Flags: United Kingdom

Description: Xisuma tends to pick a theme for his big projects and always wears a matching costume. He describes himself as a big derp, and no one agrees on how to pronounce his name.

He doesn’t reset his episode number each season, so he’ll be starting season 10 with episode #1128! Xisuma is the server’s admin, which is a big responsibility without the powertrip due to the Hermits’ commitment to group decision making.

Hermit: ZombieCleo

Quote: "I'll break you legs"

Flags: United Kingdom, Bisexual. Cleo uses She/They pronouns, but I do not know if they identify as nonbinary.

Description: Cleo enjoys detail work, being the number-one user of the posable armour stand tweak, which she uses to make dioramas and statues. They have a rather dry, mature sense of humour. Formerly a schoolteacher. Cleo is close friends with Joe, and the two regularly stream activities such as crafting together

Hermit: Zedaph Plays

Quote: “Is this a bad idea? Yes. Am I gonna do it anyway? Yes.”

Flags: United Kingdom

Description: Focuses more on making his own fun than on traditional builds. Zedaph is the human embodiment of an explosion happening in another room and hearing someone yell out "it's fine!". A very polite and confusing mad scientist. He does the wildest things just because he can. His editing style is fun and creative, featuring stop-motion montages.

[Description provided by sudden-memory-loss and anon]

New hermits:

Hermit: Smallishbeans

Flags: United Kingdom

Description: Joel is a masterful builder and intimidating fighter. Has very sarcastic deadpan humour. He likes to bully everyone affectionately. Married to fellow MCYTber LDshadowlady (Lizzie)

Hermit: Skizzleman

Flags: USA

Description: Skizz is a beacon of positivity and energy. Strong dad energy. He and Impulse have been friends for more than 25 years. Forms a lot of acronym groups with the Hermits (ZITS, GIGS) and comes up with nicknames for everyone

_

In Loving Memory of

Hermit: Tinfoil Chef

Flags: USA

Description:

A beloved member of Hermitcraft since season 2, TFC passed in 2022.

“Five blocks at a time…

Punctuated with a torch…

Five more once again…

TinfoilChef worked at his own

speed, in his own way…

May we all remember him

in our own ways by striving…

to live unhurried by unwarranted comparisons to those around

and bring joy to others

making the art we want to create.”

[Poem by an anonymous Hermit, likely Joe]

Thank you for reading!