#based on my own experiences as a kid lol

[gomzdrawfr]

🦁

[goldensunset]

‘the children yearn for the mines’ is a little too real to me bc when i was a kid and my older siblings were trying to get me into pokémon i really never cared to try playing. BUT. i was obsessed with the underground mining minigame in dppt. i used to beg my sister to let me take a turn playing and set it up for me bc i didn’t know how to so i could go mine for gems nonstop until i cleared that entire cave section of glittering wall spots which always made me so sad bc i was having such a great time. i didn’t even understand the significance of what i was doing but 7 year old me was high off of it

[moonshynecybin]

See, i get it if someone on the family or very close to the family practiced extreme sports too, i think it is one of the reasons(besides being so expensive) so many riders/drivers have family that were either drivers/ riders or worked on the paddock. But for people that have no relation to any deathsport it can't be easy and it's not often considered in conversations about how much nepotism there (besides the humongous money elephant in the room) is in motorsports,and it is a shame because as an outsider i find it fascinating.

And abot the answer and it being a cultural thing.I am spanish, and i think motogp gives an skewed perspective about how truly extended and accepted motorcycling is as an extracurricular.Might be a regional thing(maybe even local like i imagine places close to Cervera or Tavullia becoming hotspots), but in general parents aren't keen on getting their children in motorsports. I knew kids that raced as minors but they didn't exactly have permision.

YAH man i dont think its a coinkidink that the majority of the riders are from specific regions within spain or italy like even more niche type sports DO get embroiled in local culture, especially when the icons of the sport are from those places... you get enough catalan athletes winning titles and eventually at least oneeeee lil catalan kid wants be like them so kinda thing is def a factor... im thinkin baby bez w his vale minibike... wahhh... also LOL as you said in the previous ask the money is such a factor good lord

[rioblitzle]

the thing about chatfics is that I don't dislike them in concept- I actually think the format of a group chat is a very creative and fun one for comedic or storytelling potential- however, almost every one I've tried to read writes every single character with the distinct texting voice of a teenager or maybe 20 something and when you've got middle aged or very offline characters involved that is such an immersion dealbreaker to me

[pestercide]

YIPPEE MORTIS ANGST!!! :D

HELLO you want to see my poor son suffering,, Enduring the worst times of his life,, Dealing with everything he was put through on his own cuz he had literally NOBODY to go to

Because if so...

So do I lol

[dontmixpaintinyourcoffee]

This one goes out to all the bitches who love some good Safehouse Era Horror. It's me, I'm bitches. I want Jon and Martin to be fucked up and eldritch but I want them to be fucked up and eldritch and loved

(Notes under the cut because I can't help myself. Heads up, I do go into some detail of how Jon gets injured so I can explain my thought process for how I designed his scars. All canon-typical and fairly clinical in tone.)

Here's how I picture Safehouse Jon!

He doesn't need glasses anymore by this point, so he should just be wearing empty frames, but I drew this before I settled on my glasses headcanons. This drawing looks better with the reflection anyways.

He hasn't gotten a haircut since before his promotion to Head Archivist. He doesn't love the weight of it on his neck, but he also uses it to fidget, and he really doesn't want to go through the whole process of cutting it. He's disliked haircuts since he was a kid (People: Bad. Small talk: Bad. Touching: Bad. Loud sounds: Bad. People talking all at once: Bad) and since his time with the Circus he's only grown more reluctant to go and get it done.

At this length his hair is naturally pretty curly but he is. Not taking care of it. I actually put a lot of effort into trying to make it look brittle and tangled (I have a lot of experience lol, my hair is quite thick and I've always hated taking care of it. Yes I am also projecting my feelings about going to a hairdressers onto him why do you ask.)

The various scars were a bit of a strange task, but anyone who has seen my takes on The Bad Kids knows I'm not averse to selective realism in my fiction. Easiest one was the neck, I always pictured Daisy making a vertical cut based on "through the voice box". The larynx is longer than it is wide, so I think Daisy would go for the method that dealt damage across the largest total surface area. Yes I am aware that I'm speaking the same way Martin does when he explains his corkscrew.

The worm scars were easy because I barely drew any. There are a few marks on his cheek, but they're just surface bites. I picture most of his encounter with Prentiss showing on his legs, particularly on the right side, with enough damage there that he starts using a cane after the incident to keep weight off his right leg. More research to be done on this particular detail.

Finally the burn on his hand from Jude. This was the weirdest one to figure out just because of the nature of the injury. How do you quantify the damage done to an epidermis by a living manifestation of sometimes-boiling wax that can heat and cool at will? I settled on it being a second-degree burn that healed supernaturally fast, containing the damage to the space Jude had direct contact with. He'd probably have some mobility issues there as well. I know there are ways to help with mobility and pain after a severe burn, but I don't know how much of it Jon would actually. Do. Like I said, definitely further research to be done on these last two.

Hey so I'm gonna ask you to stop and consider the horror of the watcher. The helplessness. The guilt. The inherent terror of being a spectator, a participant by proximity but not by action. The horror of not being able to look away, of being a bystander. Jon forgets to blink sometimes. But wouldn't it be so much worse if there were no eyelids at all? That's how I interpret the description of The Archivist being "All Eyes" :D

I love a good Many-Eyed Jon, so I whipped up my own interpretation here. I think the more he Becomes the more he starts to resemble the thing from the dreams. He has a lot more control of it in S5, but it still creeps up on him and he has to consciously go back to a human shape.

[allfortheslay25]

Bestie, your brain 👌👌👌 i love all of your aftg au's, mermaid and omegaverse especially. Any headcanons or other things you wish people would ask but haven't/generally be willing to share? Hope you're doing well 💜

Another au from the secret stash!

All for the Cult

I hid this one cuz I’m afraid it’d be controversial and up until this week, I hadn’t even shared it with my sister

I actually am writing a fic for it but the fic will not be published until it is completed. I don’t want to risk leaving it in the public on a hiatus so it’s safe with me until I can finish all the chapters

Basically instead of exy as the base of AFTG, it’s bastardized religion. Exy technically exists but instead of Tetsuji continuing Kayleigh and his pet project, he turns to forming a cult. Exy ends up being a dying sport no one really cares about unless it’s Kevin Day who still plays on the side of his true passion, communing with God.

Neil was a human sacrifice raised for slaughter until his mom took him and ran. Homeless and with no way out, Neil joins Wymack’s staff at his wayward home/church where junkies and sob stories go for their last second chance. No one actually has to pray to god or believe in the Bible’s teachings to work there as it is not a standard church and more like a theater than anything

The more kids Wymack recruits, the longer he gets to keep his church and program at the school

(Also side note but I was doing the comic of andreil but forgot my house looks like a Catholic Church threw up in it so I got awkward and couldn’t finish it)(oh and my sister renamed it all for the debauchery cuz she got to read the altar scene lol)

Key points and fun facts of this au:

- the Ravens are a cult cult instead of a sports cult

- Riko is obsessed with his holy trinity (perfect court)

- The Moriyamas are still a crime unit but Nathan is sort of a satanist on the side (Would like to say mass majority of satanists are not evil or bad, Nathan just is)

- Neil was born as a sacrifice. Mary took him and ran tho before the ritual

- The Foxes are ppl from broken pasts who work at Wymack’s church for scholarship/community service.

- Wymack’s church isn’t a standard catholic kind. He has his own unique spin on it so even those who aren’t religious can still work there. Campus students attend the services to watch the plays, hear the readings, listen to the choir, and some even use the confession box. Some even go to donate as the Foxes are connected to a bunch of charities

- Andrew is not a real priest. The cousins were apprentices for Luther for a couple years to get him off their backs. Because of his experience and eidetic memory, Wymack has Andrew do scripture readings and other tasks. In return, Andrew gets to be off the meds the entire time of mass

- the Foxes attend classes and work shifts at the church in their free time. If they flunk classes or skip church, their scholarship is revoked

- all of the Foxes live in the upstairs rooms above the church

- When Andrew first met Luther, Luther promised to take care of the Cass situation as long as Andrew gave God a try. Andrew only agreed to read the Bible and took Nicky’s since the Hemmicks were worried he’d vandalize a new one. Andrew thought it was a good read but mostly was humored by all of Nicky’s annotations

- Andrew doesn’t care about religion enough to hate it so he’s fine chilling around and hearing the preaching

- When Neil goes to the nest, he agrees to spend those weeks in Riko’s church where he’s ofc tortured. Riko no longer has the desire to sacrifice Neil as long as Neil joins his cult

- Renee holds a Bible study on Sunday evenings and Saturdays so weekends are Andrews days off

- Lots of their readings are done performatively with music, spoken word poetry, or with their own unique spins/translations of the text. (Every mass always starts with a disclaimer that what is being said/shown is their interpretation and not to be taken as the honest god given truth)

- whenever they raise enough money or supplies, the foxes celebrate by getting wasted; Wymack’s treat

- Betsy is still there for mandatory therapy sessions since the point of the scholarship is to rehabilitate troubled youth

- Abby is Wymack’s assistant but she also is a part time nurse

[1322daysofdoey]

Spreading my orange Kevin agenda... Read my ramblings... This is going to be stupidly long as I try to explain everything here so I apologize in advance.

To try to break this down, basically the main reason I think Kevin is orange and not red is because of the arrangement of the heads in his monster form, which are arranged in a similar "triangle" fashion to the colors on Doey himself (one on his top-right, one on his top-left, one on the bottom-center). Not only that, but this color arrangement is ALSO present in his logo (two "tall" yellow and orange letters - d and h, and one "low-hanging" red letter between them - g), so I get the impression that this was done on purpose rather than a coincidence. So, looking at his monster form, Kevin is easily identifiable by his angry expression, and with this arrangement in mind he corresponds to the orange color placement.

So, then, between the last two heads, how did I determine which one is Matthew and which one is Jack? The answer is going back to the logo and looking at the hands. Each one is posed differently, and I feel that this is reflective of each boy's personality. The orange hand is a fist, which further supports that color representing Kevin due to his aggression. The red hand is pointing, which I feel is a good representation of Matthew's leadership and charisma. So then Jack is yellow, the open hand, by process of elimination. You could counterargue that a pointing finger could be accusatory, and that a fist in the air could represent leadership. But because of the previous point about the consistent arrangement of the colors/faces, I'm pretty confident about Kevin being orange, so that really just leaves me with the other interpretation.

I also think that these colors make more sense when thinking about the actual body parts that the colors are applied to. Orange is one of Doey's arms, which I think fits much better for Kevin than the legs would. Meanwhile, I think the legs work well for Matthew because he's the "support" and stability of the trio. It also makes the "three boys in a trench coat" jokes work better this way lol, you make Matthew the "legs" of the disguise because he's the oldest and tallest to carry the other two but then don't even make him the color of the legs? smh

Then my last two points are a bit more minor, but I wanted to mention anyway:

Firstly, the emotional association of the colors. I feel like the red Kevin fanon is specifically because red is seen as "the angry color" or "the bad color" (Kevin is NOT bad or evil FYI but you know how some people are about this sort of thing...), but then they're forgetting that red is also the color of love. (I mean hello, we're talking about the same game where Bobby BearHug exists?) Matthew has so much love for friends and family, I think it suits him well. And then orange is still a "fiery" color that can fit for Kevin's intense emotions, yeah?

Then secondly, the official "order" of the boys. Their experiment numbers are given a letter at the end to differentiate the three, with Jack being 1322A, Kevin being 1322B, and Matthew being 1322C. Youngest to oldest. And, if Kevin is orange instead of red, it would also make them ordered by color hue. A, B, C. Yellow, orange, red. It just makes sense, it feels right. It feels like something that would be done on purpose. Especially when combined with everything else I've already pointed out in this post.

Gonna finish this off with addressing another potential counterargument, though:

"But Doey's own character designer drew art where they color-coded the boys as yellow Jack, orange Matthew, and red Kevin! So doesn't that make those colors official?" Bro they literally say in their post that it "isn't canon" and is just fan art. You can already tell that it's not canon just based on Jack being a literal infant baby that looks nothing like the canon kid we see in the video lol. Furthermore, while Max is Doey's character designer, that doesn't mean they were responsible for any of the symbolism, foreshadowing, etc. regarding his backstory. They designed the character, but that doesn't mean they designed the logo for example. And, interestingly, in their concept art for monster Doey, you know what's noticeably different from the final version? The three heads inside Doey's mouth. They all share the same expression, so we can't tell which one is Kevin in this version. We don't know who was responsible for minor adjustments between this concept art and the final in-game design, so it's possible that someone on the team other than Max wanted that detail to be included. So in other words, I think that if each boy is indeed meant to correspond to a specific color on Doey, I don't think it was Max who chose which kid is which color, nor would they necessarily even know the "correct" color-coding since the possible hints about it that I talk about in this post are easy to miss if you're not hopelessly brainrotted like I am, and aren't important to understanding the lore. So they may have just fallen into the same "red = angry" logic that most of the fandom did.

But yeah whatever, man. I just wanted to get this out there.

[bubblegumgothglados]

hiii i’m wondering if you have any advice on how to properly vet doms? I’ve been trying to catch one on an anonymous messaging thingy my college uses and so far anyone that’s been interested has had extremely limited experience (it’s crazy to call urself a dom when all you’ve done is ties ur exes hands together once or some shit). when i’ve talked to these people i’ve explained that i don’t wanna have to teach someone what they’re doing (again lol) and tried to de-50shades-ify their conception of bdsm. do you have any advice on what to ask if i find someone that actually knows what they’re doing? are there things i should be vetting for beyond basic competence and human decency? red flags i may easily miss?

If you have any general advice for me on my endless search for a dom too i’d really appreciate that, god knows i’ve been unsuccessful so far lol.

(thankyouuuuu)

Great question

Nuance, my opinions, blah blahh blahhhh

There are three things I look for when judging another dominant

First. Kindness, caring, compassion, etc. You gotta be kind before you're allowed to be cruel, you gotta be respectful before you can treat someone disrespectfully, you gotta make them feel safe before you can make them feel scared, and so on. In practical terms you can see this in the way someone treats those they see as lesser. How do they react to bugs; you almost always have full power over bugs, you can kill them on a whim, so the way that you treat them says something about the way you treat things you have power over. How do they treat children; kids ask questions that seem stupid or make comments that can be hurtful because they're still learning, the grace with which you handle that says something about how you'll treat others when they're less than perfect. These things matter when evaluating a dominant because submissives are often toys or pets or slaves or something else inherently lesser.

Second. Enthusiasm for learning, willingness to accept your own mistakes and their consequences. We all fuck up, sometimes badly, how we move forward after that is what's important. Making a mistake once is inevitable, making the same mistake a second time means you didn't learn from it. So how do they react if you correct them? Do they get huffy? Angry? Shout until you tell them they're right even if they aren't? Or do they accept it graciously, maybe even thank you for teaching them something. Can they tell you about mistakes they've made in the past and what they've changed because of that?

Third. Fucking dominance. Not "I just want to make you happy" actual from the heart dominance. More "service doms" should embrace that they're actually submissive tops. This ones really difficult to read but hopefully you can get a vibe based on how they talk about being in control, if they think it's something they're supposed to do or if they actually enjoy it and want it

I think that's all I have to say, but if anyone else has advice please do weigh in

[demodraws0606]

Jax's fear of being trapped and what that might imply about his past/future

Hello 2 days ago i've developped a chronic case of Brainrotting about Jax, tragic I know.

I'm kinda basing this slightly of what Gooseworx have said in QnAs though I will not rely on it because I think purely relying on a creator's words and not the media isn't really satisfying.

The main thing that stood out to me in this episode with Jax was that he seems to fear punishement.

He seems really freaked out when Gangle proposed the idea of Cain punishing him...

And then he immediatly goes to Zooble to be like "lol you don't believe Cain actually could punish us right ?" and while he's proven right at the end of the episode, the fact that he immediatly tries to seek reassurance that he wouldn't get punished says a lot. In fact in his expressions he looks both sides while saying it almost like he seems...unsure/anxious (idk the right word).

Also when he's brought into the employee training scene. He's weirdly...afraid and shaken by it ?? (not showing the screenshot cos everyone remembers that scene).

Which like, I understand that was terrifying but it was a strangely strong reaction to something that...light ? I mean he wasn't brainwashed or anything. I might be stretching it but all of it, including the scene's purpose makes me wonder if it brought Jax bad memories of...something.

After that scene happens, he completely acts normal and stops trying to be a dick completely.

Now this isn't a convo about weither that's Jax's true self and his jerk self is a persona. People are trying way too hard to either try to make him a one dimensional asshole or secretly a good guy which like he's neither he's a bastard with layers. But that's not what this is about so ANYWAYS.

All of this made me wonder what was Jax's main Thing, more so his theme or the thing that makes him tick.

We know with Gangle it's her issue with masking (her dreams, how she feels, etc...), Ragatha being a people pleaser, Zooble's body dysmorphia, King's memories and how they link with the loss of his wife and Pomni's desire for companionship.

For Jax we actually don't really know other than...he's a dick and he's using it to cope which like....duh ?

But with this episode and also a little thing that I got from researching QnAs (because i'm normal and chill like that) made me realise what could Jax's Thing.

A Fear of Consequences and being Trapped

Now the main thing that drove this thought was me finding out Gooseworx assigning a song to Jax which is this one.

Don't fence me in, huh....

That line meaning a desire to not be restricted and not losing their freedom.

This makes me think this is probably what Jax's character is at least partially about, or more so...his biggest fear. Being restricted, reprimended or trapped.

I think in part that fear could be related to his past, which I'm gonna throw my cards here, my own personal theory is that he was stuck in juvenile detention for misbehaving as a kid. That experience traumatising him enough that he was probably similar to the Jax we've seen at the end of episode 4, just Tired.

Now does it Necessarely have to be a juvenile detention center, honestly no ? But it's the thing that makes the most sense in my head.

Either way this also explains a lot of things about his behavior in the circus.

He's now secluded in a space with absolutely 0 Consequences, the one person who can dish it out is an AI who is probably programmed to never harm humans (directly at least). He's even proven right at the end of episode 4.

I think what led to Jax's shit behavior was this realisation that this is pretty much now his Safe Heaven. In real life he can't just be who he wants to be, there's potential consequences that he's afraid of.

Now I know I'm gonna hear like "oh so you just think Jax is an asshole by nature", I don't think he is (i don't think he's ever been a nice person his life but like there's a difference here), I genuinely think he's not more so being himself rather that it's just that he's overcompensating for the lack of freedom that he's felt his entire life.

In a way it's similar to how people act on the internet.

Imagine that you were a misbehaving kid and you were reprimended HARSHLY for it, to the point where you're not really fixed per say but you're stuck being terrified of even being slightly flawed.

But now here he is, in a place where death doesn't matter, the harm he does doesn't matter and the one person who can actually hurt him just gives him weird shenanigans that give him opportunities to lash out.

However, there's a tiny little problem...

This fantasy cannot last forever forever and I'm not talking about them getting out because as far as they know it's out of the cards for them.

It's very much clear that the circus with the arrival of Pomni is becoming more tight knit and less divided, creating a more solid friendship group with the help of Pomni being an actual normal nice human person (Zooble is nice too but they're more jaded and too depressed to deal with most of everything, and Ragatha is a whole baggage).

It's becoming increasingly clear in the episodes themselves as well that, Jax can't just be an asshole anymore. Every episode since episode 1 has led to him being reprimended or him not being given what he wants. The group is becoming closer and they're sick of his bullshit.

He also probably doesn't like being alone and hated. We see him seeming sad at the talk of Kofmo's funeral before having to go back to being angry and dismissive in his facial expression.

Maybe he really did want to go to Kofmo's funeral but like would anyone actually believe he would be genuine, after being an asshole for so long would it really be worth for Jax to just break it all right there.

But it's clear he's also not really enjoying being alone.

Jax in a way is basically burrying a hole for himself. Being an asshole was his perfect dream after probably living a life of boredom and repression but now that this consequenceless existence has finally revealed itself to just be a mirage, he's now unable to access the things he really needs.

Actual friendship.

It's clear that the Digital Circus has a point of companionship being extremely important, in fact when we get mentions of Kofmo's abstracting we get also mentions about how no one really founds his jokes funny. Kinger mentioning how making someone feel alone and unwanted is the worst thing you could do to someone. Gangle is saved by Pomni and Zooble's presence.

However there's no one at fault for Jax's isolation, he only has himself to blame.

Ive got more but i'm tired so hope you guys enjoyed it.

[horsedylan]

Since we’re on the subject of things being fake. This post?

Yeah. Fanfiction that has been derived from the truth. Its been going around since 2015 so idk who made it..But do not worry. It is I, the humble horsedylan here to offer you Horseumbine information and lead you on the right path so you can meet god!

Whenever one of my lovely and good natured mutuals reblogs this I get itchy. It’s a conflation of two events with some creative liberties. And it certainly didn’t happen a few months before the massacre. If anything we can place the tampon incident in junior year according to Brooks Brown (source: www.westword.com/news/the-missing-motive-5063685)

Incident Statement One.

We can simmer this event down to four sources; Here is one from Sue and Tom's police interview.

"Mr. Klebold said that Dylan was sheltered at his classes at Governor’s Ranch. The Klebold’s perspective in that Dylan seemed well adjusted. Mrs. Klebold then stated the only time she ever saw Dylan cry was once when he came home from school and went to his bedroom. Dylan then took a box of stuffed toys from the closet and buried himself and fell asleep underneath the stuffed toys. Mrs. Klebold said that she checked on what the problem was, however, Dylan would never tell her what had caused him to cry. The Klebolds indicated that they monitored everything about Dylan and Mr. Klebold said that based on his own experience, Dylan seemed normal. Mr. Klebold went on to state that he asked Dylan in the past if people were picking on him and Dylan would tell him no, and would point out that he was 6’4" so people wouldn’t pick on him, however, Dylan did indicate that people picked on Eric" this wasn't in high school!!! and she didn't ignore him!!!

Source: https://zanazl.tripod.com/Columbine/Suspects/DylanKlebold/Interview.html

Incident Statement Two.

This was taken from Andrew Solomon's book Far From the Tree;

"Unbeknownst to the Klebolds, Dylan had experienced significant humiliation at school, though he was six feet four and not easy to push around. He had come home one day with ketchup spots all over his shirt, and when his mother asked what had happened, he said he’d had the worst day of his life and didn’t want to talk about it. Months after his death, she learned of an incident in which Dylan and Eric had apparently been shoved and squirted with ketchup by kids calling them f*gs. “It hurt so much that I’d seen the remnants of that day and hadn’t helped him,” Sue Klebold said." (Page 590)

Dylan explicitly lied or shrugged things off each and every time she tried to help. I'm sorry but simply put, people can't help you if you buck it and obstruct them each and every time they ask you what's up.

Incident Statement Three.

This is also taken from the aforementioned Andrew Solomon book;

"Every year on Dylan’s birthday, Tom goes up to the place where the two used to hike and takes a Dr Pepper, because Dylan loved Dr. Pepper, and the stuffed koala that was Dylan’s childhood favorite" (Page 594)

Incident Four.

When he was in middle school, he had gone up to his room after a bad day. She went in to bring him some chocolate milk and he had been crying. She asked again, what happened. All he was willing to tell her was that some kids were mean to him.

Like people will complain about how some people take this shit too seriously ( and to an extent I get where you're coming from for sure.) and complain about the seriousness of infoposters but then go on to simultaneously complaining about Dave Cullen and the smear job he did on E. Like you acknowledge that if you aren’t careful you spread misinformation so..idk. Okay yeah its a tumblr post and not a book fair point but then why bother having info posts at all lol. Its one thing to make a mistake thats fine, I make mistakes with my infoposts ALLLL the time. and thats okay but spreading fanfiction and calling it fact is another matter.

I think one of the reasons why this annoyed me so much is that people have such a ridiculous hate boner for Sue that they just lie about her ignoring her son to make her look bad. Its cringe. She didn’t, she asked him so many times and Dylan lied to her constantly. Like I legitimately saw some of you fuckers going off about how you can’t wait for this VICTIM (and yes. She is a victim) to die explicitly because of this post. I’m gonna be doing a post about her in the coming weeks probably (I mean half of it is already written up) because holy moly.

I'm also gonna save this in a google doc or on obsidian just in case lol.

Edit: updated with page numbers.

[aferalhoekage]

Welcome to the Genjutsu

I dare you to fall into my rabbit hole...

Hi Sweeties!! ☺️ I'm finally making a pinned post!!

First things first, I do NOT allow anyone 19 and younger on my page, if I find you, you will be blocked immediately, trust me. I do not want teenagers on my page. Go play with your hot wheels/Barbies.

I have a backup account @thrivesincha0s

Links: ASMR TikTok | CashApp | Ko-Fi | Instagram | Twitter | Super Secret Link | Link tree (all links)

You can call me Olivia, Liv, Livi 🤍 I go by many names

I will never post or send you nudes! Don't ask, it's tacky, & lame. This is your only warning, if you send me an UNSOLICITED dick pic, you will have 2 options, CashApp me $50 OR I'm going to screenshot and post you all over this app 🥰🩷🥰 &&& NO THAT DOES NOT MEAN SEND ME THE $50 & A DICK PIC! I DONT WANT IT PLEASE

Since I have been asked a few times, of course you can blow my notifications up & reblog as much as you want 🥰 my pictures included! 🥰🩷

A little about me: I am 26, in my first year, getting my degree in botany. I'm pagan/wiccan, still very new though & something I keep close to myself because people can be cruel. I am a mom, I have three kids. I am also bisexual. Don't take my non-response to your messages as ignoring you. I'm very busy and cannot reply to everyone, every single day. Also if I repost something but don't reply to you, please don't be offended! I promise if I'm not responding, I am most likely in a shitty ass mood and I don't want to take that out on anyone. I am 5'5, and between 120 lbs. I have one tattoo, and one piercing. I'm a libra, October 21 is my birthday, and Halloween is my favorite day of the year. I am very shy, but can be very clingy... ugh.

I use tags HEAVILY on my page, click on the ones at the bottom of the post to navigate around a lot easier :) I promise you'll thank me

Enough of that, now! On to the kinks portion of the tour: (This list is still growing/I haven't figured all of mine out yet- so this list will change a bit most likely.)

Breeding | DD/lg | CNC | Corruption | Fauxcest | Masochism | Pain/Degrading | Size Difference | Somno | Age Difference | R@pe Play | BDSM | Slight bondage (this one is newer) |

Hard NO's!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I give one- maybe two depending on the person- warnings, then you will be blocked if you cross my boundaries.)

Anal (Traumatized from my experiences.)

Bathroom ... Things... - not for me.

diaper stuff - no hate, just not for me (:

Cheating/Poly - to each their own, but I don't like it.

Anorexia - it's not a fucking kink. Don't put that shit in my tags. I will block you immediately.

Other things I enjoy since I am human and sex isn't the ONLY thing I think about(it's up there lol): Nordic mythology, Vikings(in every aspect), I want to be an author eventually(maybe), I smoke weed, I play video games. DC comics are my favorite but I do like marvel as well. Anime is my favorite genre. DnD! I absolutely love food. I can bake🥰 I do not look like I can eat but I can lol. I will 100% talk to you about tattoos all of the time 🥰. I am obviously in botany, so plants and trees are my favorite thing! My favorite colors are dark green, pink, and yellow 🩷 I'm very much into the dark and spooky side of everything, but I love the girly side of me and life as well.

Taken Anon Emojis: 🦥, 🦀, 📌, 👑, 🐻, 🐺, ⚡,🐕, FPFL , 🐯, 🦊, ☠️, 🌷, 🐑

I follow people back, but it's based off your profile, I read bios. Your age has to be in your bio for me to follow you back. But if you have taken/married/open relationship or anything like that in your bio, I will not follow you back :) and I will not flirt with you if you're in any type of relationship 👍🏽 if I also find out that you have been flirting with me and are in a relationship you will be blocked immediately. I will not be lied to, by omission or otherwise. Please be respectful 🤍

[saltcxrcle]

valentine ── . ✶ s. winchester

summary: you've never fallen in love before until you met sam

pairing: sam winchester x reader, sam winchester x gn! reader warnings: none really, no use of 'y/n', fluff, pure fluff, going on dates, kissing, title is a song by laufey of the same name, fic is lowkey based on the song, kinda edited; all mistakes are my own word count: 3.0k a/n: wow look at me writing a fic for in time for a holiday! anyways happy valentines day to me and sam winchester bc hes my valentine fr! also is the reader just the projection of my own experiences? maybe... lol but enjoy the fic <33 [heart divider by @bernardsbendystraws ] sam winchester masterlist

YOU DIDN’T HAVE the best experience when it came to love. Scratch that; you didn’t have any experience when it came to romance at all. You didn’t grow up capturing anyone’s attention romantically, which, in hindsight, should have stung, but that was just the reality of your life.  

While other people were getting into their first relationships and experiencing young love for the first time, you were in the library studying or surrounded by your friends (the very little that you had). It wasn’t like you didn’t want to have a relationship with someone, but the people in your high school didn’t capture your attention. Besides, being a kid of a hunter didn’t allow you enough time to stay and like anyone in that capacity. 

You were content with being alone with yourself, even from a young age. You had a morbid understanding that the life you lead didn’t allot a lot of time for living, going from state to state and town to town killing monsters always ran the risk that you wouldn’t come out the other side of those encounters. 

But that all changed when you ran into the Winchesters while hunting a wendigo in the dense forests of Washington. You remember almost shooting one of them when you heard rustling in the thick bush before you heard a man’s voice shout for you to not fire your gun. 

When they made it through the brush of foliage, you were met with two tall men dressed like an average hunter, but what had taken you aback was how attractive they were. You had come across some hunters in your life, but most of them didn’t look like they came off of a photo shoot for GQ Men. You had heard about the Winchesters from word of mouth (some good things, but a lot of bad things), but a key detail they missed was that they were almost devilishly handsome. 

They had introduced themselves as Sam and Dean when they realized that you weren’t a lost hiker on a trail but a fellow hunter like themselves. The three of you worked out what you were hunting, and with some reluctance, you agreed to help them (Sam’s puppy dog eyes really reeled you in and sealed the deal). 

It was hard to focus on the hunt when you were distracted by how much you gravitated towards Sam. In the short interactions that you had with him before the three of you found and killed the wendigo, you could tell that he was an intelligent and genuine person—but you could tell he had his walls up, and gaining his trust wasn’t going to be a one and done situation. But you couldn’t blame him. You were the same and didn’t dwell on it for too long because the three of you were in the middle of a hunt and couldn’t afford to be distracted. 

You soon learned that the Winchesters weren’t that bad to be around, and it didn’t hurt that they were easy on the eyes. You were surprised when Sam asked for your number, but you gave it to him anyway, thinking that it would be an easy way to get in contact with him if either of you needed help on a hunt. 

Soon enough after that initial hunt, the Winchesters (Sam) would reach out for your help, and you didn’t think at all before agreeing—leaving the town you were hanging around and meeting them in the next state over.

You found that the more you worked with the Winchesters, the harder it was not to work a hunt with them, and your growing attraction to Sam was getting harder to control. You had never felt this way towards someone in your many years of living. Sure, you’ve found plenty of people attractive as you passed through the plethora of towns you’ve traveled to, but there was something about Sam that drew you to him and, to be quite honest, scared you. 

Sam was like your dream person come to life. He was like he plucked out of the romance books and novels that you liked to indulge in from time to time and dangled in front of your face—somehow always seeming to be just out of reach. 

Your pining worsened after a particularly rough hunt with a pack of werewolves. You had a deep gash in your thigh from a she-wolf that was enraged that you had killed her mate and threw you into a cement wall, cracking a few of your ribs, breaking two of them, and giving you a concussion. You managed to stay standing until the three of you killed all of the werewolves, but when Sam came to check on you, you practically collapsed into his arms—which would have embarrassed you at the moment, but the pain was consuming any rational thought that was running through your brain. 

Sam acted quickly and barked out to Dean that he’d have to clean up on his own as he dragged your barely conscious and pain-riddled body back to the Impala and patched you as best as he could until you guys could get back to the motel. Dean was quick to dispose of the bodies, and Sam sat in the backseat with you, tucking you into his side and providing you some comfort from Dean’s erratic driving back to the motel. You would have freaked out by being that close to Sam, but the pain was enough of a distraction from the scent of Sam filling your nostrils.

Once you guys got back to the motel, Sam was able to patch you up properly, but the damage was already done. Since you were in no condition to drive and didn’t have anything lined up for you, Sam had invited you back to the bunker with them to rest up and heal. They had invited you to see the bunker a couple of times before, but you never took them up on their offer because you didn’t want to feel like you were intruding. 

You were going to say no, but Sam’s hazel eyes were wide and pleading, and you couldn’t resist the look he was giving you—so you agreed that you would stay with them until you were back at 100% again. And there was your downfall. You had a feeling that you were falling for Sam, but being at the bunker— being in close proximity to him for more than a week and having him basically wait on you since your mobility was limited, just solidified the fact that you had fallen head over heels for the taller Winchester. 

Hell, your pining became so evident that Dean picked up on it and asked you about your feelings towards his brother as soon as Sam left the library to grab your pain medication from the room you were staying in for the time being. You remember your face heating up at the sudden interrogation, but you didn’t deny the fact that you liked his younger brother. 

Dean teased you a little bit but turned sincere, telling you that the two of you would be a good match before teasing you again, but Sam had walked back into the library and given you your pain medication along with a glass of water to take them with. 

Unbeknownst to you or Dean, Sam had overheard your conversation with his older brother. Even though he felt a little guilty that he had inadvertently intruded on a private conversation, Sam couldn’t help but feel relieved that you felt the same he did. But when Dean started to tease you again, he came back to the library, and he couldn’t help the small smile on his face as he went back to researching. 

Later that night, Sam knocked on your door, and you could tell something was up. The air in the room had shifted as Sam’s nervous demeanor entered your room. 

“So what’s up?” You asked him as you sat on the edge of your bed. You were wearing some sweatpants and a well-worn T-shirt you had for years.

Sam’s eyes scanned your pajamas, a smile on his face before he met your gaze—scratching the back of his neck. “I heard your conversation with Dean earlier.” 

“Really?” Your heart dropped to your stomach as panic washed over you, staring wide-eyed at Sam. 

Sam sensed your panic. “Yeah, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to but I heard my name and my curiosity got the better of me.” 

“Oh.” You swallowed thickly as you tried to find your words. But you honestly had no idea what to say. You were mortified that Sam had overheard you admitting that you liked him to his brother, and you were stuck between leaving the room and dying of embarrassment in front of Sam. 

“This isn’t going the way I thought it was.” Sam muttered under his breath before moving to sit next to you. He gently took one of your hands and held it. “I really like you. I was going to tell you soon, I just didn’t know how to tell you.” 

“You just did.” You had finally snapped out of your mortified state and blurted out the first thing that came to mind. 

Sam chuckled at your words, making you laugh alongside him—his laughter was infectious and helped quell the panic you were feeling earlier, now being replaced with contentment and nervous excitement. 

He used his free hand to grasp your chin in between his thumb and index finger. Sam looked deep into your eyes, a gentle smile on his lips. “Can I kiss you?” 

“Yeah.” Your response came out weaker than you expected, but any other thought was wiped away when Sam placed his lips on yours, drawing you into a soft kiss. Your heart soared as Sam’s lips moved against yours in a gentle rhythm. You’ve kissed people before, but none of them were like this—they paled in comparison to how Sam was kissing you. 

From then on, the two of you were inseparable. After you were all healed up, Sam took you out on your first date together to a bookstore that he’d been wanting to show you if you were ever in town. However, you did have some awkward moments here and there during the date due to your lack of experience in the dating realm. 

You and Sam were walking through the bookstore, looking through each of the shelves for something you might want to take back to the bunker and read. Sam was on the opposite of the aisle you were in, and as you pulled a book off the shelf, you were met with Sam’s hazel gaze and bright smile. 

“Hi there.” You whispered playfully. 

Sam smiled wider. “Hey.” His eyes trailed over your face before meeting yours again. “God you’re so pretty.” 

His compliment and the sincere tone in which he said it made your face feel hot and giddy. You couldn’t help but let out a small giggle before clamping your free hand over your mouth so as to not disturb the quiet atmosphere of the bookstore. 

“Thank you. Uh, you’re pretty too.” Your response made you wince internally. You didn’t know how to respond to his compliment exactly, but Sam sent you a wide grin that showed his dimples, and you couldn’t help but mirror him.  

Regardless of how awkward you felt in the moment, Sam made you feel anything but. He was aware of the lack of experience you had with dating and took it in stride. He did everything at your pace, and that made you fall for him even harder. 

Though you hadn’t said those three little words to him yet, you planned to do it while the two of you were out on a date for Valentine’s Day. Yes, it was cheesy, but you wanted to let him know that you did. Sam had planned the day for the two of you, getting out of Lebanon and heading to an aquarium in Kansas City. Then, after, the two of you would get dinner and spend the night there before heading back the next day. So you packed a day bag before getting dressed, wanting to look good for the date. 

It seemed Sam had the same idea because when the two of you met in the garage, Sam wasn’t wearing his usual uniform of flannel and a t-shirt underneath, but wearing a white knitted sweater you had gifted him for Christmas, some medium wash jeans, and a denim jacket of the same wash over the sweater. He looked absolutely handsome as he leaned against the truck the two of you were taking (Dean refused to let him take the Impala for the night).  

“Wow! Look at you wearing something else other than a flannel.” You teased as you walked up to him. 

Sam rolled his eyes at you, but a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Are you saying I look bad?” He joked as he reached out and took the bag from your hands. 

You rested your hands on his chest, looking up at him with a smile. “Quite the opposite actually. You look handsome.” 

Sam flushed slightly at your compliment, pride swelling in your chest at the sight. You couldn’t help but peck his heated cheek before patting his chest. 

“Thank you.” He murmured before pecking your lips. Sam quickly placed your bags in the backseat before opening the passenger-side door for you. Then he got in the driver’s seat, and the two of you were off to Kansas City.

Before you hit the freeway for the four-hour drive, you guys stopped by the store to pick up some snacks and drinks, and the drive was filled with the sounds of the two of you singing to the shared playlist that you and Sam had or of the two of you talking. 

As you got closer to the aquarium, you became excited. You had only been to the aquarium twice when you were younger and when you stayed at a school long enough to go on a field trip. You practically jumped out of the car when Sam parked it, and he couldn’t help but smile at your enthusiasm. 

The two of you walked hand in hand throughout the aquarium, going through all of the exhibits and admiring what the place had to offer. But what you really wanted to see was the jellyfish exhibit. Something about them had always fascinated you, and you had been dying to see them. 

Once you got to the exhibit, you were immediately enthralled with the sea creature, looking at the vast glass wall that the jellyfish were on the other side of. Sam stared at you as the spark in your eye grew, and you looked in awe at the jellyfish. He felt his heart warm at the sight as a contented smile played on his lips. 

You felt Sam tug at the hand he was holding, capturing your attention. You managed to rip your gaze away from the sea animal, only for them to be captured by Sam’s eyes. They looked blue due to the glow of the water reflecting into the room. 

The room was empty, save for you, Sam, and the jellyfish. He pulled you closer to him, Sam’s hand landing on your cheek as his eyes glazed over with love and adoration. 

“I love you.” Sam said as he stared deep into your eyes. 

You couldn’t help the shock and the slight fear that flooded your veins at hearing the words falling from his lips. Although you had planned to tell him later that day, it signified that now you had something serious with Sam and that you had more to lose. 

Sam saw the flicker of fear in your eyes. “You don’t have to say it back now, but I needed to tell you before anything happened. This life we live, it doesn’t–” 

“I know Sam.” You cut him off, placing your hand on top of the hand that was on your cheek. You smiled at him reassuringly before a small laugh escaped you. Sam sent you a confused smile at the sound of your laugh. 

“It’s just, I planned to tell you after we went to dinner.” You explained after answering his unasked question. 

Sam smirked. “Well, it’s not like you said it back or anything, you still have time.” 

“I wanted to be the one to say it first.” You couldn’t help but give him a mock pout. 

“I can take it back if you want honey.” Sam teased as he leaned closer to you.

You rolled your eyes at him before placing your lips on his. Sam chuckled against your lips before sinking into the kiss. 

“I love you too.” You muttered against his lips when you drew back from the kiss. 

Sam smiled wide before pulling you into another kiss, pouring all of his love, devotion, and passion into it. You returned the kiss with as much fervor as he did, but before it could get any more heated, you were reminded that the two of you were in public and pulled away from him. He chased your lips, making you giggle. Sam’s eyes snapped open; it seemed that he was reminded of where he was, and he chuckled. 

Sam looked down at his watch. “There’s some time left before it closes, did you want to look around some more or grab some dinner early?” 

“We can look around some more, I’m not hungry yet.” 

Sam nodded. “We can do that.” 

The two of you made your way out of the jellyfish exhibit—Sam’s arm was around your waist as he kissed your temple before the two of you looked at other exhibits in the aquarium. 

You honestly still can’t believe that Sam was yours, but you were incredibly grateful that he was. You silently thank whatever higher power that was out there that you were able to love Sam and that he reciprocated your feelings. You had a lovesick smile stuck on your lips all night, and Sam couldn’t help but match the one on your lips until the two of you fell asleep in each other’s arms. 

[mikuyuuss]

I love that Mitsuri is a little silly and stupid at times, shes a girlboss AND a girlfailure to me <3 but apparently there are some people that genuinely dislike her for those things? I understand Mitsuri's character isn't for everyone, BUT WAIT, HEAR ME OUT.

I've always had this headcanon that Mitsuri had a somewhat sheltered childhood growing up, since In the Rengoku Gaiden, she randomly got discriminated by a stranger for her hair color, so I can only imagine that she probably got that on a daily basis.

I'm sure Mitsuri's parents don't enjoy seeing their eldest daughter bring harassed, so perhaps they might have coddled her a bit. Maybe that could explain why Mitsuri comes off as childish, innocent or """"stupid"""" as many people would say. For me, it's more like her personality just screams "sheltered kid", through no fault of her own tho.

(this is taken from the second fanbook, translated by @/violetheart08)

The fact that she's happy to have friends at the corps, suggests to me that she probably didn't have many friends growing up, she most likely got bullied too, and if that's the case, it's understandable that she can come across as overly friendly and excitable whenever she's befriending new people.

She's actually socially awkward like Giyuu, but just on the opposite end of the spectrum lol, that's why I love them both.

But still, it's not that Mitsuri is straight up incompetent. She's very creative and thinks outside of the box with her breathing style. She also adapts pretty well in high stress situations, we saw this in swordsmith arc, but also we see this very clearly in the Rengoku Gaiden too.

The fact that it only took her two years to become a hashira shows that she has a level of discipline to attain that title. Not only did Rengoku trained her well, this is also no feat that a truly "stupid" person can achieve.

The reason why I have this particular headcanon about Mitsuri is because some families do put A LOT of importance on reputation, especially asian families, when their kids start showing traits that would make them "different" they tend to "hide" the kids in order to protect their reputation so they won't lose their chances at marriage.

(Though I'm not saying all asian families are like this. This is mostly just based on my personal experience that I won't elaborate further)

It reminded me of this scene, when Mitsuri's family suggested that she can just stay with them forever when she was worried that she won't be able to find someone. I love Mitsuri's parents and they are VERY GREAT for their time, but also this is really relatable to me personally :(

And given how marriage was such a big deal in Taisho era, I imagine that it was a mixture of that and the pressure to conform and protect their daughter at the same time that led me to imagine that Mitsuri probably had a sheltered lifestyle.

And you know it's possible that I'm wrong about all of these lmao, but just the fact that she has a comparably normal childhood is a good enough reason as to why she's more positive and naive compared to her peers. I know this is all just a headcanon, but I do wish people can be a bit more considerate towards Mitsuri before hating on her for being "loud" "stupid" and "annoying"

[claudiafrankie]

Your Role in the Relationship Vs. Their Role in the Relationship

Disclaimer: Tarot is not an evidence-based practice. You are in charge of making your own decisions.

Pile 1 - Moon

Alright, y'all are NOT being emotionally honest with each other and that's just that lol. Both of you guys are facing away from one another in this reading but the shared energy is the King of Cups clarified by the 7 of wands. Big, deep, raw, turbulent feelings between the two of you, but there is sooooo much defensiveness.

You are both showing up as pages which is telling - pages can (not always) indicate immaturity/lack of experience. The more positive angle, of course, is youthfulness, hopefulness, optimism. You are the page of pentacles clarified by the two of cups reversed. They are the page of wands clarified by the devil reversed. So I see you as a kid with their arms crossed and a pout on your face. What the fuck ever, I'm just gonna give my pentacle to someone else over here. With the two of cups reversed clarifying, you're probably giving this person the cold shoulder, or just in an energy of "i give up dude." I think you want to give your time and attention to this person but maybe don't want to surrender your pride, or be the one to step out of a more receptive stance into a more action-oriented one. You want this person to come after you but they aren't and it's making you sad.

With the page of wands clarified by the devil reversed for their role in the relationship, there is definitely a strong emphasis on sexuality on their part. They have probably fantasized about you/touched themselves to the thought of you, but feel guilty about it and are trying to release this (devil reversed.) They feel like they have been rejected physically/sexually by you and are trying to put on a front of "i don't care i didn't even want to fuck you that bad anyways" lol (they do, in fact, want to fuck you that bad.) But yeah this person is feeling like they need to cut ties either with you or a certain pattern that cycles in your guys' relationship.

I pulled another clarifying card for your role and got the ace of wands reversed, and then did the same for them and got the ace of cups reversed!! You guys are both so drained but in different ways.You feel this person tugging on your sexual energy and that wears you out physically and probably makes you feel kinda gross, and then this person is emotionally exhausted and feels like they don't know how to please you.

What both of you want/need from the other, neither of you is willing to give because you don't want to surrender your power in the situation or because you're afraid that if you do give them what they want then they'll just take it and you will be left with nothing and just have been used.

This person is emotionally repressed and you are sexually repressed lowkey. I think the sex with this person would be either crazy good or crazy disappointing - no in between. This feels very all-or-nothing with this person. And I think that's tied to the pages - there is some black and white thinking going on on both of your parts, underdevelopment in different areas of your guys' ways of thinking. Both of you are taking the stance of "i'm right you're wrong i want what i want and you're not giving it to me and that means that i'm not good enough and it also means that you're bad." This seems difficult and triggering, but if you're feeling like you are alone in feeling triggered by this relationship you definitely are not. This person feels like they need a full-on exorcism to break free from this.

The description for the moon oracle card that you chose is: "Our closest cosmic ally, the moon represents the feminine psyche and influences the ebb and flow of our emotional and gravitational tides. Notice how this beloved time keeper moves through her phases and the effect she has on your cycles of darkness and light."

Right now neither one of you feels safe with the other and you're kind of at a stalemate. It feels like both of you are afraid that making a move will result in a blow to your ego. I think you hold more power over this person that you may think... the guy on the 7 of swords in this spread is stealing 7 of swords from your person's side and bringing them to yours - you have taken something from them, consciously or otherwise. They resent you and are fascinated by you.

Take care pile 1.

Pile 2: Air

Alright y'all this was frustrating to read I will tell you that much lol. You might want to check out pile 1 as well, that reading was also kind of frustrating.

The cards representing your energy: 10 of wands clarified by the knight of wands. The cards representing their energy: 10 of pentacles reversed clarified by the 9 of pentacles. The shared energy between the two of you: 9 of wands clarified by the 6 of cups. And then to clarify your oracle card I pulled the emperor.

So you are the one putting in the bulk of the work, or at least you were. It's like the knight of wands took his last wand and is like "fuck this I'm out of here" lol. I think with the knight of wands being on your side, you have been the person putting in more time and energy into this relationship. And I think maybe that is a reality you have been putting off avoiding for awhile but now you are seeing it and taking action on it, which is cool.

I think you have been really weighed down by this relationship. The knight of wands also says to me that you have been having obsessive thoughts about this person, and maybe struggling to hold back outbursts towards them. If that is the case I applaud you for holding your shit together. It's like you've put so much work into this and they just aren't seeing it, or are choosing not to look at it. And you've worn yourself out, having tried everything you can think of to get this person to like you. I think this person benefits from this behavior btw. Like you are giving them so much of your power when you act like that, but again I see you galloping away on your mighty steed lmao and getting distance from this situation.

They are not looking long-term with this, or they don't really feel like they can. They are focused on themselves. Again, I think you pursuing them, energetically or physically, is boosting them up in ways you don't see. This person is not putting in nearly the same amount of work into this that you are. They could have a family already or be committed to something else, but I think they really want to just be able to do their own thing? Like the bird in a gilded cage thing. They have amassed a lot of wealth for themselves but they feel trapped maintaining all of their possessions.

This person, whether male or female, is very much taking the feminine role in the relationship. They're showing up in earth energy and you in fire. However... i pay attention to the directions that the people in the cards are facing, and the knight of wands is, again, getting the fuck up out of here lmao. So yeah I think this person is like committed and not going to step outside of the nice garden they have around them. If they are committed and are expecting you to go to them.... girl. lol. I'd gallop into the night too damn hahaha

The shared energy is the nine of wands clarified by the six of cups. You are both defensive and exhausted, and can't let go of the past. There are underlying feelings between the two of you that are so incredibly soft and sensitive, but it's like both of you have access to parts of the other that, if you talk to them in just the wrong way on just the right day, it sends them or you spiraling deeper into a healing crisis. I think you both make each other feel inadequate in some way, but it's like a deep basal level. Like the way you both naturally are, it makes the other person feels like who they are is not enough.

The air oracle card you guys picked says this: One of the four physical elements, air indicates action coupled with intellect. Like a cool, crisp breeze cutting through a mountain pass, the mind is sharply attuning to well-lain plans. Use this time of clarity as momentum to initiate change or to simply be present in existing conditions."

So yeah this clarified by the emperor feels like what i already described as how you are showing up - realizing how burdensome this relationship is and doing something about it, getting away from this person and the exhausting and probably cyclical dynamic between you. You are having clarity regarding your power in the situation, and that you are the one in charge of keeping yourself safe, and also the best equipped person for the job. You are gaining control over your thoughts, which is starting to bleed into your physical reality.

Keep going pile 2. Also, there's a lot of fire coming through for you - make sure you are getting enough rest. Real rest, not just laying in bed scrolling lol guilty

Pile 3: Memory

Alright pile 3 lets do it

The cards describing your role in the relationship are the page of swords clarified by the 8 of cups. The cards describing their role in the relationship are the 3 of swords reversed clarified by the page of cups. The shared energy between the 2 of you is the 5 of wands reversed clarified by the fool reversed.

You have kind of a "tee-hee" energy haha. Like you are 'looking away' from this person but you're really not. I decided to use a different deck than i normally do, which I think is also part of your reading. You could feel the need to take a new approach with this relationship, like you feel like you're at a loss and need to try something different.

But the page of swords in this deck is holding up her sword towards the other person but she kinda looks away bashfully. The figure in the 8 of cups has our back turned to us, but looks to your person as well. I think you are putting on a front that you don't really care or that you are carefree, but really there are some deeper feelings going on for you. I think you are feeling dissatisfied in this relationship and are waiting for this person to fulfill you in some way but so far have been disappointed. This relationship could remind you of your relationship with your mom, or you are reflecting on how you are behaving in this relationship and realizing that you are kind of behaving like your mom. The person in the 8 of cups looks longingly at the moon, which is tied to motherhood and femininity in its raw form.

You're keeping things light and keeping an eye on them. You are being playful in your communication and easy-going, maybe a tad impulsive, but curious in an endearing way. I think this person likes your curiosity, and they feel special that you are curious about them.

They are showing up as the 3 of swords reversed clarified by the page of cups... I think this person is going through it. They want to heal the situation between the two of you, the page of cups in this spread holds out her cup to you. Both pages are female, so this could be a same-sex relationship or some flavor of LGBTQ+.

I think on the surface of things this person is distancing from you, but internally they are crying out for you. The page of cups here is extending her arm as far as it will go, with her hand over her heart, kind of like she is protecting herself from rejection or feels extremely vulnerable even taking small steps towards you.

I think this person created some distance between you two and they want to bridge the gap. They are reaching out with their childlike feelings, their deep and true emotions, and you are kind of hesitant and taking a more cerebral approach. You're engaging, but you're hesitant. I think you can tell that this person is struggling in their life even if they haven't told you directly, so you are willing to hear them out, but at the same time you were kind of on your way out the door and then this person made a gesture so now you're... dawdling out the door haha

The shared energy between the two of you is the five of wands reversed clarified by the fool reversed. Yeah this feels a liiiiittle petty, not gonna lie. I think there is a desire to reconcile and make things work on both sides because you both can see the ways in which you are similar, and the ways in which you are similar are palpable and important and deep. There is an acknowledgement from both parties that this could really be great, but it could also be really terrible, and right now its just kind of muddy, neither wonderful nor devastating. It just feels like a slow motion wrestling match, where both of you want to put things on the normal speed and catch up with each other, and then also get rid of the chaos and just get to the bottom of this just the two of you without all the outside influences. It's like when you're in a dream and you're trying to run in water and then you wake up and your heart is pounding. You are trying desperately to get somewhere better than where you are now but both of you are having trouble seeing a way out. You both want a new beginning. There is work to be done if that is to happen. You are both aware of this.

The oracle card you picked was memory, which says this: "At times we find ourselves living in the past, surrounded by melancholy reminders of what once was. Like a beautiful daydream, our memories can sometimes lure us into thinking of the past as a more precious time, when in fact, the most precious time we have is now."

I clarified this with the 2 of swords. There is a decision to be made here, and its not being made. This is all very much grey, and I can see why you would be asking about this person in a tarot reading because it's very confusing. I think you would benefit from reflecting on what you truly want out of this with this person. It seems like what has happened in the past is, very understandably, heavily coloring the lens through which you are viewing this relationship. If things have occurred that you resent this person for, and will continue to resent them for, then that is totally understandable. It's like you are resenting this person and holding onto hope that they will go out of their way to fix things. And they're showing up as a page... so if you're not up for a bumpy ride, which is completely valid, then this might not be a relationship that is in your best interest to pursue.

Take it easy pile 3, you are funky fresh and full of light

[damiansgoodgirll]

can you please write about rhea x reader where rhea is into women let’s pretend!! and reader is her best friend and she doesn’t know if she’s straight or bisexual because like she’s attracted to women but she can’t understand so she’s very naive and she asks rhea for help? it can be fluff and smut i really don’t care! thank you so much if you do this ❤️❤️

rhea ripley x reader

‼️this is based off on some experiences i had lol, mention of sex, sweet rhea, i need her in my life lol, slow burn? kinda long-ish i guess and smut so stay away kids‼️

new experiences

“what you mean you don’t know?” rhea asked, sitting on the couch right facing you.

“it means i don’t know!” you kept pacing around and honestly rhea couldn’t handle it anymore.

“it’s a simple question, are you attracted by women the same way you are attracted by men?” she asked, again.

“again, rhea…i don’t know…yes, i guess” you replied.

“okay, let me ask you this…does liv, becky, shayna…i don’t know, beyonce, attract you?” she asked.

“i mean…yes, they’re all attractive women, like damian and finn are handsome men but that doesn’t mean i want to be with them…you know, sexually” you said, avoiding her look.

so this is what it was about.

rhea always knew you were attracted physically both by men and women. she knew, you didn’t. but as far as she can remember you always dated men, you’ve never been with a woman before and she knew this thing was scaring you.

“what is exactly that you don’t know love?” she asked, a little more serious.

“i don’t know if - well - if i like women the same way i like men you know? everytime i see a good looking woman around i wonder what it would feel like dating her you know? like, dating a woman in general because it’s new to me…and i don’t understand, i can’t understand if what i feel is just simple attraction or something more…” you said, giving up and sitting next to her on the couch, facing her “it’s not just about being attracted by them…who wouldn’t be attracted by beyonce?” you joked, making rhea laugh too “but i don’t know if i would like something more the same way i would simply date a man…”

“have you ever tried? have you ever met a woman that your mind, said - fuck , i wanna date her and have sex with her so bad!?” she asked you.

“not really…because i don’t what i’m feeling…it’s all so confusing”

“i know, i’ve been there…and it took time for me too you know…you should start experiencing…meeting new people, meet a woman who can actually help you and have your mind cleared” she said, cringing at her own words.

rhea always had the biggest crush on you but she never said anything, until now at least. she didn’t know what you were feeling and she didn’t want to confuse you but the fact that you just confessed to her that you were “possibly” into women just made it easier for her.

“don’t you think i’m way past my age to experiment? this is something you do when you’re sixteen” you joked.

“absolutely no…i didn’t realise what i liked until i was twenty…it’s never too late love”

“okay…then how would i be able to meet women? how do you do it? gay bars? that would just make me really uncomfortable…i don’t know if…or even what i’m doing…” you asked her desperately.

“gay bars?” she laughed “what kind of shows are you watching?” you looked at her weirdly “yes, gay bars are a thing, and they’re actually very helpful if you just want to have and sex and then never see each other again…it’s not where i would start tho…maybe you can download some meeting app, you know start from there and see where it goes”

“i would love to do that rhea but the problem still remains…i don’t have experience with women! i don’t know where to start or what to do and honestly i don’t see myself opening up to them the same way i’m doing with you right now, i love talking and doing this with you because you’re not judging me and i’ve known you for years and i always knew you wouldn’t judge me for something like this but i don’t know what their intentions are…maybe i should just drop it…” you said, exhausted.

“you shouldn’t drop it…not if it’s making you feel like that, it’s okay and normal to be confused love…” she smiled at you.

“i know that but”

“no buts…you’re confused and i get it, it will take some time maybe for you to get to know you better but i promise you, in the end will be worth it” she said “plus sex with women is more pleasurable than sex with men” she joked, making you blush.

“that’s what i’m talking bout re! how am i supposed to know what it feels like if i never got the chance to experience it?” you said throwing your hands up.

she simply laughed. she didn’t expect you to over react about something like that. being curious? yes, but over reacting? she wasn’t expecting it at all.

“okay…let me ask you this simple question” she said and you nodded “have you ever kissed a girl? like in the past…a friend maybe?”

“never”

“never?”

“no rhea, never…” you said.

“not even as a joke?” she asked again.

“no…that’s probably why i’m also so confused…i told you, i never had any kind of experience…”

“would you like?” she asked.

“to what? kiss a woman?” you sarcastically replied and she nodded.

“kiss me” she smiled and your jaw dropped.

“are you sure?”

“i’m sure…you’re my best friend” how painful it was for her to say that “and since you’ve spent the last hour complaining how you never got to experience that, let me help you”

“won’t this ruin our friendship?” you asked a little worried.

“why would it ruin our friendship? it’s just a kiss…it doesn’t mean anything right?” she said and you nodded.

it means everything to me - she screamed internally.

“okay, you’re right…” you smiled at her as she moved closer to you. her hand gently caressing your cheek making you shiver “don’t be scared” she encouraged you “it’s like you’re kissing a man”

“but it’s not” you whispered “you’re not a man…”

“oh really?” she smirked, making you laugh “hey…if you want to stop or if i’m making you uncomfortable please let me know…it’s the last thing i wanna do” she said and you nodded.

it’s not like she wanted to take advantage of you or the situation - maybe a little - but you’ve been driving her crazy for the past years and now she saw a little hope to have a future with you. she knew she had to play her cards very well otherwise she would fuck up everything and the last thing she wanted to do was to scare you away.

“come closer…” she whispered “it’s okay love” you did as she told and moved closer to her. you were now face to face and having her so close was making you feel things…

“it’s just a kiss” she whispered softly and before you could say something back she laid her lips on yours. it took you a few seconds to reciprocate but you couldn’t deny how good you were feeling. when she felt how positively you were reacting, she deepened the kiss, teasing your lips with her tongue, asking for permission. you definitely didn’t back up. you let her do it, smiling into the kiss. her hands went behind your back, making you come closer to her body while your hands went back into her hair, softly massaging her scalp, making her whimper into your mouth.

you broke the kiss just to catch your breath and in that moment you realised in what kind of weird position you got yourself into.

if it was just a kiss why were you now straddling her lap?

“so?” she asked you, breathing.

“it was good” you smiled.

“yeah? you liked that?”

“yes but…”

“but?”

“i need something” she didn’t even let you finish.

“more?” she smiled.

“more” you nodded.

“do you trust me y/n?” she asked you, making sure you were comfortable.

“i do”

“good…lay on the couch for me beautiful” she said and you did as she told you.

“rhea?”

“mh?”

“are you sure this isn’t going to ruin our friendship? i care too much about you and i don’t want anything to change between us…” you said timidly.

“i promise you, this isn’t changing anything, i’m giving you the experiences you wanted to experience” she smirked and she smiled at you “but if at any point you want me to stop, you need to tell me okay? i don’t want to make you uncomfortable love” you nodded at her words.

she kissed you again, softly, biting your lips and sucking on them, making you shiver. it’s not the first time you’ve been kissed, but it was so different with her that you liked it even more.

“what do you usually like when you’re with men?” she asked softly.

“i-uhm…i don’t - i don’t know…”

“girl” she joked “i need more than that” making you laugh “what do you usually like when you’re having sex with men? there must be something you like the most…”

“i mean…we just have sex…” and in that moment rhea realised how important talking about this was. by the answers you gave her, she understood how you’ve never had this kind of conversations with your previous partners, making her wonder if they even knew what you liked or not. a part of her hated how careless your partners had been with you, they didn’t even take time to learn your body and that was making her mad.

“how does it feel when they first penetrate you?” she asked, your eyes opening to watch her.

“i mean…good? what kind of question is this” you slightly laughed.

“does it hurt? how is your body responding to that?”

“it hurts…but just for a moment, i think it’s normal tho…” you said, not sure of anything.

“yeah, if you’re a virgin…i’m not saying this to make you feel bad but your exes were pretty bad in bed, did they at least took time in getting you wet enough for them?” she couldn’t believe of what she was hearing.

“if they wanted -…”

“if they wanted? i’m so happy you’re single at the moment, please, stay single for a while” she joked again making you chuckle “forget about everything you know…i’m showing you how good sex can actually be” she said and you nodded.

she continued kissing you, not rushing anything. she wanted to take her time with you, making you feel good, showing you how sex was supposed to be. bonus point that you were her crush and she actually wanted to make you her priority.

she slowly began kissing your neck, leaving soft marks and bites. she was observing the way your body was reacting to her, watching if she was making you uncomfortable but when she saw no sign of hesitation, she continued.

“can i remove your top beautiful?” she asked gently and you nodded. she saw you in just your lingerie before but this was a completely different situation. her eyes fell open when she saw the black lacy bra that you were wearing. it was made for you.

she began kissing your breast, leaving marks and bites, making your whole body shiver.

“is it okay if i remove it?” she asked.

“yes” you barely whispered. lucky she was so close to you otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to hear you.

she let your bra fall onto the floor as she slowly teased your nipples, making them hard. she loved the effect she was having on you.

you, on the other hand, were more than confused. you loved everything that she was doing to you, but you realised that maybe you were loving it because it was her who was doing it with you. you always thought she was a beautiful woman but nothing more than that. you’ve never even thought about what it would have been like dating her and having a life with her.

your core pooled at just the idea of what rhea had in mind for you, and, smart as she was, she sensed it.

her soft lips touching and sucking on your nipples, making you moan in pleasure. her tongue traced your soft stomach, prepping it in kisses, making you feel loved.

her hands went to unbutton your pants, tracing them down and discarding them somewhere on the floor.

“rhea?” you softly called her.

“yes?”

“what-what…uhm…how do women do this?” she swore she tried her best not to laugh, not at you but she thought you looked cute when you were curious and, in some ways, innocent “don’t laugh” you scolded her.

“i’m sorry love…see, we have different ways of doing it, i can show you some…” she placed a gentle kiss over your thigh and you nodded.

her hands slowly moved your panties down, her face shocked when she saw how wet you were, and she barely touched you yet. she kept kissing your thighs but you stopped her the moment she was about to kiss your pussy.

“rhea?”

“mh?”

“what…what are you doing?” you whispered. everything was kinda new to you.

“what you mean?” she asked confused.

“i mean…is it normal? like, you know, what you’re about to do…no one ever done it so…i was just wondering” you confessed.

she was shocked.

no one’s ever went down on you and this was making everything even more exciting for her cause she had the opportunity to show you everything new.

“it’s more than normal baby” she reassured you “and i’m so mad that no one ever done this to you…if you were my girl i would spend hours buried in this sweet pussy” she said before gently kissing your clit, making you shiver.

she kept teasing you until you begged her for something more. and she listened to you begging as it was a preyer. she started sucking and licking at your clit, making you arch your back.

silently you were cursing your ex boyfriend for never doing this to you but in some way, you were actually happy that rhea was doing it to you instead.

your moans were filling the room. rhea’s experienced tongue continued the work while her eyes were switching from being close to watch your face.

to her, you were the most beautiful person in the world. especially in that moment.

mouth open, eyes closed, your hands grabbing and holding tightly the pillows on her couch, your legs beginning to shake.

it was pure bliss for you but it was pure bliss for rhea too.

“rhea…i-i think” you couldn’t even speak properly “i’m -…”

“i know princess…i can feel it, just let it go” she whispered against your pussy, making you come right there.

“oh fuck…” you moaned, your legs tightening around her head as you were shaking.

rhea helped you recoveries from your orgasm but didn’t stop there as one of her finger teased your entrance.

before you could say anything she silenced you with a kiss “you taste so sweet baby, you’re like a drug to me…taste yourself on me�� and you did as she said. you could taste it on her tongue and it was making you trembling all over again.

“give me another one…” she whispered this time against your neck. her middle finger entering you in a swift move. gently thrusting in and out, her thumb circling your swollen clit. her free hand went to the back of your head, moving you closer to her face, she was making you watch her.

she needed so see how good she was making you feel.

“open your eyes love” she teased “look at me” and so you did.

it was hard keeping your eyes open, specially when she added a second finger inside of you.

“rhea…oh fuck”

“that good uh?” she smirked.

how she wished she could have you naked on her couch every single day.

“please…”

“please what love?”

you don’t know what you were begging her for, you just loved the way she was making you feel and even if it was a little too much, you couldn’t help but ask for more.

“don’t stop…please”

“i don’t plan on doing so…” she smirked keeping her eyes on you. staring at her was making you wetter and you felt you were about to come any second.

“rhea…” you moaned.

your mouth fell open and the your head touching the pillows beneath you. it was a silent scream, your breath sucking it and your eyes squeezing so hard. rhea thought for a moment that she broke you.

she was watching carefully how your body was reacting to the aftermath of your second orgasm. you were shaking and your breath still uneven.

when you opened your eyes again you saw her right in front of you.

“you okay there?”

“more than okay…” you whispered, still catching your breath.

“so…this is just a few ways of how we enjoy sex” she cracked a joke making you laugh.

“there more?”

“many” she whispered against your lips, kissing you softly “but i think it’s enough for today…”

“wait-…”

“is everything okay?” she asked a little worried.

“you didn’t…how can i…?”

she stopped you before you could continue “it’s not about me today, it’s about you. hopefully i’ve helped you a little more with your sexuality, or maybe i’ve confused you a little more…and if you want to learn more on how to please a woman i’ll be happy to help you out” she winked at you “but for today i think it’s enough…you’ve been so good to me, and i thank you so much for trusting me with this”

you took a few minutes to realise just how much care rhea was putting into this. it wasn’t just her helping you out with your sexuality, you realised there was something more. some unspoken words between the two of you. the way she was treating you, with such care and almost…love.

a tear fell from your eyes and rhea noticed too.

“hey…is everything okay?” she worried, thinking that maybe she overstepped too much and made you uneasy.

“yes…” you quickly wiped your tear as you slowly covered yourself with a blanket “it’s just…it’s more than okay…rhea, i can’t help you enough for this”

“you don’t have to-…”

“i have to…because for the first time in my life i’ve felt like someone really cared about me and i loved it…and i know i shouldn’t say this to you because you are my best friend and there’s nothing between us but you really made me feel loved…and i liked it” and in that moment you understood, it was rhea.

it has always been rhea.

the reason you were so comfortable around her, it came naturally. the way she always treated you, making you feel special, in some of her ways. it was her that you wanted, not any woman, but her.

you just didn’t want to admit it to yourself. maybe because you feared her rejection, or maybe because you feared your own rejection of liking women. but it didn’t matter anymore, not when you were feeling like that.

“i really care about you y/n…way more than just a friend” she confessed.

“what?”

“it shocked me that you didn’t realise it before. i’ve never dated other women because the only one i wanted was you” she said, timidly.

“but you’ve been with other women before…”

“nothing lasted tho” she said “not when those women weren’t you…”

“you mean that?”

“i mean everything i said. everything ive done with you tonight…it wasn’t just for a night…i’m here to help you to get to know yourself better, to teach you if you want to learn, i will always be here for you love…we don’t have to rush anything, we can take it slow and see how things go…if you want me” you’ve never seen rhea so vulnerable before and seeing this side of her was making you realise that you didn’t fully know her.

but god how you liked her. how you liked this new side of her, how you liked the protective side of her when you two went out, how she knew how to treat you.

“yes…yes i want this rhea…just…it’s all new for me, can we take things slow?” you hesitated asking her this. she said it wasn’t a problem but you’ve never met someone who was willing to take time in get to fully know you.

“love…come here” she hugged you “i promise you i will be patient with you…i want this new experience to be enjoyable for you, i don’t want to pressure you or anything…i promise you” she kissed you, softly. her hand caressing your cheek.

“okay…” you whispered.

“okay” she smiled against your lips.

maybe, for the first time in your life, you found someone who was really interested in getting to know you better, and you couldn’t believe that the person you were talking about was rhea.