#barnyard bash

[sunmoon-starfactory]

Barnyard Bash - Tools & Hogs Update

Pigs have been having issues for a while now and would constantly die despite food and water being present on the lot. Naturally, this was a relatively simple issue that took us months to find and fix. There's always something... In any case, please re-download the set.

Changelog

Pigs will no longer randomly die of starvation despite food being present

Fixed pig pregnancy issues

The Mud Wallow has been repositoried to the BB Niche

The inventory tools included have been updated to the newest, most optimized versions

UPDATE: forgot to mention initially, but Sheep now have a "Force Shear" option

Update instructions: In case of doubt, REPLACE ALL FILES. Files affected: mud wallow, all pigs, all accessories and inventory tools.

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[narabea06]

" Mia, I can make a fake Vanny for you to talk to? Y'know, help give you some closure - "

" No, it won't be the same . . . "

Here's the reference photo I used for Mia's pose!! The artist is mellon_soup on Tiktok, please go follow them!!!

[howdy-cowpoke]

TIMING: Current LOCATION: Prickly Pear Acres PARTIES: Monty (@howdy-cowpoke) & Felix (@recoveringdreamer) SUMMARY: Felix comes to the farm to visit some goats and chaos ensues when a lapir arrives on the scene to munch on some cows. Between Felix and all the farm hands they’re able to bring it down, but not without consequences for one distraught Monty. CONTENT WARNINGS: Gun use

—

After a stressful few weeks (or months, or years, or life, really, because fuck this whole town), Felix was looking forward to a nice, relaxing afternoon of just… looking at goats. Monty seemed like their kind of person when they’d spoken to him online, easygoing and friendly and kind in a way people often weren’t, and Felix wouldn’t pass up the chance to hang out with someone who might end up becoming a new friend. Especially not when said person had a farm full of animals he was willing to let Felix hang out on.

The balam stood in the goat pin now, grinning down at a fluffy, unsteady kid. “How old is this one?” They asked, turning to glance back at the farmer. “Looks like he barely knows how to walk, poor little guy.” They reached down, earning a headbutt against their palm. Laughing, they shook their head. “That’s not how you make friends, buddy.” 

The sun was low in the sky; some might find the later hour strange for a hangout, but Felix ‘worked nights’ and Monty seemed fine with it. The farm seemed relatively active at this hour, too; Felix had seen a few farmhands wandering about. 

Straightening their back, they turned towards Monty with a small smile. “I really appreciate you letting me come out here, man. I, uh, I think I needed this. Things have been kind of rough lately, and baby goats really…” The goats in the pin began shifting, some strange panic seeming to wash over them. Felix wondered, faintly, if they’d sensed the jaguar somehow, but animals weren’t usually afraid of him. In the fields, a few cows seemed on edge, too. Anxiety even crawled down Felix’s spine, though he couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from. “Hey, do you… feel weird?”

—

Monty was seriously starting to wonder if animal therapy might be a worthwhile venture for the farm, if they ever decided to stray from dairy, or even add on to it. In this town, it seemed like there were more stressed out people that just needed to hold a lamb in their lap while bottle feeding it, or get themselves headbutted by little goats just to feel better, than he’d ever seen in one place. Which… made sense, when you considered what living in Wicked’s Rest was like.

Official or not, he was always happy to have someone over to play with the animals, so long as they weren’t that wretched young woman that liked to steal clothes and pretend to kill goats. It was good for the people and good for the animals. And night visits were definitely not uncommon around Prickly Pear Acres, so the evening hour had done nothing to dissuade Monty from inviting Felix over. They seemed like a very sweet, thoughtful, and kind sort of person, which felt in short supply these days. It was a relief, actually, to find that they were just the same in person as they had been online. And the cowboy couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he watched them interact with the animals, not that he would’ve wanted to, anyway.

As they conversed in Spanish, Felix thanking Monty for letting them come to the farm and mentioning how they’d been having a rough time lately, the cowboy offered a sympathetic smile. Before he could respond, though, the behavior of the goats around them suddenly changed, and even Felix seemed to be set on edge. They asked if Monty felt weird, and the farmer shook his head. “Ah… no? I feel fine,” he answered with concern in his voice, glancing around them. The moos from the pasture had grown in volume and frequency, and—there was a great, shrill screech from outside the barn, and Monty gasped aloud before scrambling to his feet. “What the heck!?” He looked to Felix in a mild state of shock before his gaze bounced around to all the goats that were now huddling in one corner of the pen, as far away from the sound as they could get. His attention fell to the gate, which he unlatched as he motioned for his new friend to follow. And though every instinct was telling him not to, he moved in the direction of the sound, knowing that he couldn’t just leave his herd out there to whatever fate was befalling them. 

Grabbing a rifle from a wall hook as they passed by, Monty snatched up the box of ammo that sat nearby and started to load the gun, his eyes scanning the pastures that stretched out in front of them. 

The cows were running from something, and he could hear the angry bellowing of the two catoblepones that guarded the herd as they fought something unseen, for the moment. In the chaos, he couldn’t even spot the supernatural bulls, but started making his way toward the pasture. Oh. Right, Felix. Monty turned to look at them, clearly shaken. “You can—you do not have to come, Felix. You can go up to the main house.” There were other hands running toward them, coming to see what all the commotion was and help if they could. 

—

Monty said he felt fine, and Felix might have wondered if the strange way their heart was pounding in their chest was just their own special brand of ‘issue’ if not for the fact that the animals seemed to be freaking out, too. The jaguar stirred within them, aware and present in a way he usually wasn’t when no part of Felix was shifted. It felt like a subtle confirmation — whatever Felix was feeling, it was animalistic. That was why the goats felt it, too.

But they couldn’t say that, of course. They were here as a normal guy who just wanted to see some goats, not as a balam. (Would Monty have even invited them onto the farm if he’d known they were a balam? If he knew what a balam was at all, he might not want one around his livestock. Felix had a pretty good hold on their jaguar, but wildcats and livestock often didn’t mix well, in most people’s experience.) So, rather than try to think of some creative explanation or tell Monty the truth, Felix only shrugged. They stroked the kid they’d been playing with absently, trying to calm him down, but he was clearly in no mood to be placated. And, moments later, it became clear just why that was.

The screech was loud, echoing through the air around the farm like a crack of thunder. The baby goat shot out of Felix’s arms to retreat with the rest of them, scrambling and trembling in response to the sound. Monty moved, and Felix followed, unsure what else to do. The jaguar inside of them was close to the surface now, practically demanding to be freed in order to deal with the threat, and they struggled to keep him at bay. Fingers shifted into claws, and Felix curled their hands into fists to hide the transformation. 

Monty grabbed a gun and some ammo, and Felix stuck close to his side as he moved out towards the pasture. The cows, like the goats in the pin and the jaguar in Felix’s chest, were reacting to whatever it was they felt and heard, running for cover. Someone was fighting something; it sounded chaotic. Worse, it sounded like they might not be winning. 

Felix steeled themself, shaking their head when Monty offered them an out. “No. No, I want to help. I’m good in a fight — and it sounds like you guys could use all the spare hands you can find.” It was rare that Felix was given the opportunity to choose to fight something; in most cases, he was either thrust into it by the circumstances or forced to do so by his contract with the Grit Pit. The fact that Monty was offering to let him go to the main house and wait it out, the fact that someone was offering protection instead of violence… It was something Felix hadn’t felt in a very long time. And it was nice. Just having it offered to them was nice. Monty was a good man; that was all the more reason to say no to the offer. Felix didn’t want Monty or his livestock to be hurt when they could help prevent it. So… “Tell me where you need me.”

—

Brow furrowed, the cowboy looked worried, but knew better than to tell someone whether or not they could handle themselves. “Okay, if you’re sure,” he agreed with a nod, loading the rifle as he spoke. A few of the other workers came to a stop near the pair while more continued right on down to the pasture—none of them really feared for their lives, since it would take a considerable amount of damage to kill them. Not that anyone wanted to be maimed, Monty least of all, but their livestock was worth the risk. 

Gun loaded, Monty slung it over his shoulder and turned to Francisco, one of the hands that’d stopped just shy of them, and nodded at the cabin where Daisy lived. “Go get the bag from the chest in Daisy’s cabin,” he instructed. “Bring it to the fence. We might need something besides this gun.” You could never tell with these things, and while Monty didn’t know a great deal about other supernatural flora and fauna, he knew enough basic tactics to keep his herds safe from attacks. Everyone else seemed to have armed themselves with an assortment of farm equipment, as that was what tended to be on hand. It was better than nothing, anyway. “Come,” Monty said to Felix as he led him to a different pasture, heading for the gate. Bringing a hand to his mouth and using his fingers to let loose a deafeningly loud whistle, the cowboy unlatched the gate and let it swing open. The thunderous sound of hooves met their ears, and up the slope came Habanero, answering the call of his best friend. The horse met them at the gate and Monty instructed Felix to climb on up using the fence—there was no time for anything else. Unfortunately he lacked a saddle, but there was at least a lead slipped over his head, giving Monty something to hang on to as he situated himself just behind the animal’s withers. 

“If you are good in a fight, then we need to get in there, and fast,” he said, looking over his shoulder at Felix. “Hold on to me, this is going to be bumpy.” As soon as he felt the other’s arms wrap around his middle, he gave Habanero’s sides a kick and they were off. As they approached the pasture where the fighting was happening, he shouted for someone to open the gate. Beth complied, running it out of the way as the pair galloped past on the horse and into the panicked herd of cattle. 

The cows steered clear of Habanero as he barrelled down on them, and in the parting of the black and brown and white sea, their adversary was presented to them.

One catoblepas was already dead, and the other was fighting for his life against a… a… what the hell was that? It looked like a massive… bat? It was easily the same size as the catoblepas currently trying to hook it with his horns, maybe even a bit bigger. Just then, it leaped into the air and spread a pair of massive, leathery wings, taking flight. For a moment, Monty hoped that this was over. But… no, of course not. Just as soon as it had gained some altitude, it swept down low, clawed feet grabbing at the remaining catoblepas and lifting it a few feet into the air before dropping it again. 

Habanero slowed down instinctively and Monty drew his weapon, cocking it and tracking the beast in the air for a few seconds before firing. He hit it, and its attention immediately turned to them. Shit. It was diving again, and Monty was firing again, but that didn’t seem to even slow it down. Shit.

—

“Sure I’m sure,” Felix replied, and despite their typically anxious nature, the confidence wasn’t feigned. Whatever was happening was clearly supernatural; in a way, that made it make more sense than it might have had the enemy been more mundane in nature. Thanks to the Grit Pit, Felix had… experience with fighting plenty of different supernatural things. They didn’t always know what they were called, of course — no one tended to give them a vocabulary quiz before sending them into the ring — but they knew enough to know how to be useful. And right now, they wanted to be useful. This wasn’t like in the Pit, when they had to fight whether they wanted to or not, when they were only fighting for the entertainment of people with thick wallets and low impulse control. This was their choice. And they were choosing to help Monty. It actually felt pretty good.

The cowboy whistled, and a horse came up to meet them. It was pretty; had there not been a whole ‘situation’ going on, Felix might have commented on it, might have stopped to admire it. But there was no time for that now, they knew. When this was over, hopefully they’d have plenty of time to tell Monty how cool his horse was. For now, all they could do was climb on the animal’s back and try very hard not to think about the fact that they’d never actually ridden a horse before. It was fine. Monty was going to do all the work. All Felix had to do was hold on.

They wrapped their arms around Monty, gripping him… maybe a little too tightly. It was almost comical — there was something attacking Monty’s farm and eating his cattle, and Felix was more nervous about the prospect of riding a horse than they were about fighting the creature. Luckily, though, Monty knew what he was doing. The ride was bumpy, as he’d warned it would be, but Felix didn’t feel as if they were in any danger of being thrown from the proverbial saddle. (Would this be easier if there were a literal saddle? Probably!) 

Felix sucked in a sharp breath as they approached, the creature in the sky finally coming into view. They’d never fought one of these in the Pit; they had no idea if anyone else had, either. Not for the first time, they found themself sort of wishing that the fighters in the Pit spoke to one another just a little bit more. Sharing strategies would be helpful, especially in situations like this one. “That’s big,” Felix commented needlessly. Monty already knew it was big. Monty was looking at it, too. Watching as it swooped down and picked up… whatever cattle Monty had on his farm. They weren’t normal cows, but it was a little difficult to focus on that right now.

“I don’t know if that’s going to —” Felix winced as Monty pulled the trigger, the sound of the gun firing loud in a sea of already loud noises. The jaguar stirred, already on edge due to the situation but clearly even less pleased at the addition of the gun firing. Felix swallowed as the creature turned its sights on the pair on the horse rather than the cows. “Um, it looks like — We need a plan? Do you know what that thing is?” Given the fact that he had cows that weren’t cows, Felix was willing to guess that Monty knew about supernatural stuff. So, willing to chance it, they added hesitantly, “Some kind of vampire, maybe?”

—

“No clue. But… vampire, yeah. Probably.” He grimaced, grabbing a fistful of Habanero’s mane again as he kicked his sides, sending them running once more. “Right! A plan!” He didn’t know what the fuck to do. “I have some things that might work in the bag I sent Francisco after,” he shouted over his shoulder as they galloped, drawing the creature away from the herd while some other hands moved to guide them out of the pasture they were otherwise trapped in. “We’ll have to get that—” The bat-like creature dove for them and Monty gave Habanero another swift kick before holding on for dear life with his legs, releasing the horse’s mane to twist back around and take aim with the rifle, obviously waiting until Felix had ducked out of the way before firing. It clipped the creature in the head, encouraging it to let loose a horrible sound as it crashed to the ground. 

“When you said you were good in a fight, amigo, how exactly did you mean?” Monty asked, glancing between Felix and the beast that was trying to get back to its feet. “I need to go get that bag. If you think you can keep it on the ground for a couple minutes—”

—

Monty’s words confirmed Felix’s suspicion that he knew a little about what went on behind the scenes in Wicked’s Rest, and that was good. Things like this were a lot harder when you had to navigate both the monster and introduce someone to the world from which it came. Of course, the ideal scenario would have seen Monty knowing exactly what kind of vampire it was and how to kill it, but beggars couldn’t be choosers, right? Vampires weren’t something Felix was overtly familiar with, but they were pretty sure that most of them were ‘poke it with a wooden stick or cut its head off’ kind of rules. That’d probably work here, right? Unless they could scare it away somehow.

Felix let out a rather undignified squeak as the vampire thing dove for them, clinging to Monty as he steered the horse in a different direction to avoid it. It was a struggle to keep the jaguar at bay, because he wanted out. As always, he saw the danger they were in and wanted to take care of it his way… but his way would mean putting Monty and his farmhands in danger, too. The jaguar always took things a hair too far when it came to protection, and Felix wasn’t going to let Monty or his staff get hurt.

But they still needed to do something. They wouldn’t let the jaguar out all the way… but maybe a little bit would help. Hesitating for a moment, Felix studied Monty carefully. He was a nice man. He’d been kind to Felix. His heart wasn’t beating. There was no danger in exposing themself here, was there? Carefully, Felix held out a hand and let it shift, claws sharp and dangerous at the ends of their fingers. “I mean like this,” they said with a sheepish smile. “I can fight. I’m a good fighter. I can hold it off long enough for you to get what we need.”

—

Looking from the hand where sharp claws had grown and then back up to Felix’s face, Monty smiled appreciatively. “Dios te bendiga,” he muttered, giving Felix a gentle pat on the shoulder before swinging Habanero back around to ride them closer to the beast in the grass. “All right—you keep the  creature on the ground, and I will fetch Francisco.” It was as good a plan as they could have, really, given the urgency of the situation. Thankfully for Felix, it looked like the creature was a bit clumsy on the ground, stumbling around as it tried to shake off the gunshot to the head. 

Monty slowed the horse down enough for Felix to hop off, then they booked it back toward the fence. He could see Francisco running his way, old leather satchel in hand, and breathed a sigh of relief. A concerned glance was thrown in Felix's direction as he came to a stop at the fence, hand outstretched to take the bag. 

Inside was a smattering of monster-hunting paraphernalia, and despite vampires being something like kin to them, there was holy water, a cross, and of course, a stake. He couldn't be too careful, after all, though this was fully intended for use on creatures only. He'd much sooner try to talk a humanoid vampire out of whatever trouble they were causing rather than stake them. He wasn't like those fucking hunters.

Slinging the bag over his shoulder, Monty said a very quick thank you to Francisco before galloping back to where Felix was battling the creature, keeping it from taking off again and honestly? Doing a great job of it. Monty was impressed, but that praise would have to come later once this thing was lifeless. He stopped Habanero a safe distance away from the fray, hopped down, and smacked the horse on his flank to send him running away, back toward the gate that led into this pasture. The ground was dotted with a few dead or dying cows and one catoblepas, the other having... gotten away, evidently. With anger settling into his expression, Monty hurried on his way toward Felix. Now that the rest of the herd was safely moved, more farm hands were coming to help, descending upon the scene of the fight with their makeshift weapons. 

Monty pulled out the holy water, uncapping it and getting himself in right beside Felix, ducking out of the way of an angry snap of the creature's jaws and then dousing its head in the liquid. It shrieked and reared back, smoke or steam or something billowing off of it.

—

Monty smiled, and any remaining apprehension Felix might have been carrying melted away all at once. Of course Monty wouldn’t recoil at the sight of their claws. Of course not. Felix had no idea if Monty knew what a balam was, but it was clear he wouldn’t judge or fear them for being one. And Felix, who had never seen fit to judge themself for what they were either, found some comfort in that. Even if you were comfortable with what you were, it still felt like a slap in the face when someone you thought you could trust wasn’t, and they were relieved to know they’d receive no such thing from Monty. Not surprised, because nothing about Monty suggested that he’d be that way, but relieved all the same.

They nodded once at the cowboy’s instruction, hopping off the horse and landing — unsurprisingly — on their feet. Cats, and all that. Monty and his horse galloped off, leaving Felix standing in front of the creature with a look of determination on their face. It was big.

They’d fought bigger.

The creature lunged for them, and Felix danced out of the way. They’d always been light on their feet. While their siblings and father often fought like feral animals, Felix carried a little more grace to how they moved. The movements were inhuman, still, but more catlike than blunt force. They moved on the balls of their feet, ducking another swipe and returning it with one of their own. They targeted the wings. The thing was clearly less competent on the ground than it was in the sky, and shredding its wings would take away a significant portion of its advantage.

Claws found the ‘seams’ of the wings, slicing everything they could get close to. Fighting sentient things made Felix feel guilty for days after. In the ring, even fighting less humanoid creatures carried an air of shame to it, because it wasn’t like those things got any say in what was happening. But out here? To protect Monty’s farm and the people on it? There was no shame in this. For once, for once, this fight made Felix feel good. Proud, even.

As they fought, they shifted a little more to compensate for the mismatch between themself and their opponent. They needed the jaguar’s strength, his senses, his anger. And the jaguar, for his part, seemed to enjoy it. He didn’t like fighting in the ring, Felix knew, didn’t like the confined feeling to it, but he liked this. It was something both spirits inhabiting the body could agree on.

By the time Monty returned, Felix was in a half-shifted state, not quite human but not quite animal, either. They turned to spot their friend, flashing a fanged smile. They pounced as the cowboy threw the holy water, sinking in claws to where the liquid had burned the creature and dragging them down until they came loose. The balam jumped back to avoid a swinging limb, landing next to Monty. “What do we do?”

—

Okay, so if the fact that it was a massive bat didn’t already confirm it, the holy water doing what it did absolutely confirmed that this was, in fact, a vampire. And as much as he hated to have the things lying around, the wooden stake he pulled out of his satchel was probably going to be the thing that did it. 

Monty looked to Felix, the discomfort with the situation evident on his face, but so too was the anger over what this thing had done to his animals. “If it’s a vampire, then staking it in the heart should do the trick,” he explained, moving back a step further as the creature pivoted wildly on the spot, lashing out at the farm hands that were circling around it now, poking and prodding with their tools to keep it distracted. “Of course, I don’t know if anyone here is strong enough to do that…” It was clear that the creature could take a lot of damage, if a rifle shot straight to the head hadn’t downed it more permanently. “But I will try,” he added with a resolved nod, refusing to let someone else attempt it in his stead.

Together, they all made nicks and cuts here and there, keeping the lapir’s head on a swivel. Felix was certainly doing the most work, much more outfitted for this sort of thing than the rest of the hands, but they made sure that the monster didn’t spend too much time focusing on their visitor. At some point, Monty slipped beneath its wing, stake in hand, trying to figure out where its heart would be before he attempted to get past the ribcage. At first, it worked—the monster hadn’t noticed, still fumbling around with the rest of them, turning and snapping and screeching something horrible. But then it realized there was a bug beneath its massive underbelly and hissed ferociously, rearing back to better see the pest before lunging at him. Its fangs found purchase on Monty’s non-dominant arm and he gasped in shock, having no time to react before it was biting down hard, and shaking its head like a dog with a chew toy. 

Monty was thrown to the ground, and he realized with a stupid, surprised sort of groan that his arm was still hanging from the beast’s jaws. It hurt, probably not as much as it should have, but that was the least of his worries. His body immediately began the regeneration process, fully sapping him of his alertness and blanketing his mind in a thick haze. He slumped into the grass while the creature stood over him, still battling the farm hands and Felix, dropping its prize to the earth to better bite at the rest of them. 

—

“Monty…” Felix wasn’t sure they liked the idea of Monty being the one to carry the weight of the stake, even if they didn’t really want to do it themself, either. They were a good fighter. They knew that. If they weren’t, they’d have a lot less problems and a lot more freedom. But being a good fighter didn’t make them fearless; in fact, some days, it felt as if being a good fighter made them anything but that. They wanted to ask if there was someone else who might be able to do this, if one of Monty’s men might have some desire to do it in his stead, but they knew what the answer would be. Monty was a good man. Too good a man to let anyone else take the burden from his hands.

So, Felix would lighten it in any way they could. They’d slash at legs and wings and anything that came close enough to their claws to meet the wrong end of them. They’d pounce back to avoid hits themself, they’d lose themself in the fight the same way they did in the ring. They’d remind themself, over and over, that this was different than that. In this fight, they were doing something necessary. In this fight, they could be proud when they won. In this fight, they had allies. 

One of whom had just had his arm ripped from his body.

The sound Felix let out was far from human, more of a yowl than a yell. Monty was still moving — of course he was. There was no heartbeat, Felix had clocked it before. Monty was undead, and he was in no danger of bleeding out. But there was still something terrifying about seeing your friend’s arm ripped away from his body, and Felix couldn’t help but respond with anger. 

They didn’t get angry often. They tried to avoid it as much as they could, tried to push it away. Their father was an angry man. Leo was an angry man. Felix didn’t particularly want to be an angry person themself, didn’t want to mirror people who’d hurt them even if some of that pain had been entirely unintentional. But it was hard not to be angry now, hard not to let the feeling rise up in their chest. Hard not to let the jaguar rise up with it.

Monty’s arm was already growing back, letting Felix in on what kind of undead he might be, but Felix was hardly paying attention now. Instead, they were launching themself towards the beast, claws at the ready. They wouldn’t let it go after Monty while he was down.

—

His right hand still clutched the stake, and Monty turned his head in the grass to look at it numbly. Why did he have this, again? The large figure over the top of him didn’t immediately remind him, which was saying something about his mental state, but it did slowly start to come back. Too slowly. He was aware of that. Something was… wrong. Or.. was it? Huh. He couldn’t quite finish his thoughts, trailing off somewhere in the middle, distracted by how hungry he felt. Normally that would have been extremely alarming for the cowboy, but he didn’t have the capacity to be alarmed by it right now. Everything was too… foggy. 

The lapir tried to take off again but could get nowhere thanks to the bloody gashes in its wings, instead hobbling around on the ground, trying to keep the balam and other zombies off of it as it stomped around in a tight circle. Its foot ran into something and it jerked its head down, seeing Monty laying there uselessly. Angry that it couldn’t flee, it decided to take it out on the one creature not fighting back and scooped Monty up in its mouth, sinking its teeth into his abdomen and chest. 

The additional damage only made Monty’s confusion worse, but it did also present an immediate threat that helped him remember what the hell he’d been trying to do in the first place. With renewed purpose, the zombie reared his good arm back and stabbed the lapir in the eye with the stake, making sure to hold onto it as he ripped it back out and was dropped to the ground as the creature shrieked bloody murder. Wasting no time now, realizing his predicament and understanding that there was limited time, Monty hurried to his feet and just went for it, throwing himself at the creature, stake at the ready.

The first one didn’t quite make it, but he was feeling angrier and hungrier by the second as his body repaired all the wounds. So he reared back one last time and drove the stake home, cracking past bone and sinking it into the creature’s heart. It immediately went silent and collapsed, and Monty barely had time to get out of the way. Though it might’ve been better if he’d been able to be pinned, because now when his gaze fell on Felix, his eyes were milky and his expression unfamiliar. He lurched forward toward his friend, fighting his way through the farm hands that tried to grab at him to stop him. They didn’t interest him as much as the living, breathing Felix, and he was much stronger than they were, now. 

—

The bat creature scooped Monty up in its jowls, and Felix let out a startled cry. Monty was… durable, to be sure, but if that thing ate him? Felix got the feeling he’d have a hard time getting out of that particular situation. The balam reared back, ready to launch themself up at the monster’s face, ready to fully shift if they needed to and trust that the farmhands would stop them from hurting anyone besides the lapir, but it wasn’t necessary. Monty, with a newfound strength, fought back against the creature.

Felix watched the cowboy shove his stake into the bat’s eye, watched him pull it back and sink it into the vampire’s chest instead. A grin spread across the balam’s face as that second strike found its home in the lapir’s heart, sending it collapsing with a shrill cry and dissolving into dust soon after. They’d done it! Or… Monty had done it, really. Victory tasted sweet.

But not for long.

Because Monty, now on the ground with his feet beneath him, was looking at Felix like they were his next meal. Felix stumbled back, eyes wide. “Monty?” Their voice was small, cautious. It didn’t seem to reach the cowboy’s ears at all. It was like Felix hadn’t spoken, like they weren’t there at all. It felt painfully similar to being in the ring with Razor; like their friend was absent, and what had taken his place was nothing but hunger. 

One of the farmhands met Felix’s wide eyes, trying desperately to hold Monty back. “Run,” he breathed, and Felix did. They turned, taking off into the cowfield as fast as they could manage.

—

Fighting off the other zombies only got easier the longer Monty went without his feral craving sated, and he broke away from them to pursue Felix before the balam had even managed to get much of a head start. He was quiet as he ran, a silent, swift predator save for the sound of his feet pounding through the grass. He was gaining on them, eyes on the prize, his singular goal pushing every other thought from his mind. 

Remaining hand outstretched, the deader-than-usual cowboy tried to snatch whatever part of Felix was closest, swiping at them and missing twice before putting more oomph behind his speed. They were coming up on the fence now, running parallel to it. In the distance, Daisy had mounted a horse and was galloping toward them as fast as she could. 

Bone and muscle and sinew stitched itself together, fixing the holes in his abdomen and creeping from the stump of his shoulder, the skinless appendage joining the first in trying to catch Felix as soon as it had fingers again. They were closer, closer, and then—

A female voice shouted something, and suddenly Monty was crashing down into the dirt. He flailed wildly, finally releasing a frighteningly inhuman howl, attention ripped from the fleeing meal to the rope around his neck. Daisy stood over him a few seconds later though he did not recognize her, snapping at her as she dropped a knee onto his chest and pressed his head into the grass with a hand to his forehead. She pulled something from her bag—the moment she’d seen Monty’s arm get ripped off, she’d left the scene of the battle to go back up to the house and get the brown paper package from the fridge. They all knew how this sort of thing went. Setting the package on the ground, she used her free hand to rip a piece of gray matter off the rest of the mass, shouting at her friend to be still as he grabbed onto her and tried to fight her off.

“Felix!” she yelled, “Are you okay?!” The brain matter was finally wrestled into Monty’s mouth and the zombie relaxed a smidge, but still was clearly not having a good time. She went in for another piece, throwing a worried look in the balam’s direction. “It’s okay—I’m sorry, we just gotta—eat, you stubborn fuckin’ bastard,” she growled, getting one last piece between his gnashing teeth before she was thrown off of him. Monty scrambled onto his hands and knees, now snatching up the package as he realized what was inside, and tucking in, wholly absorbed in the act of consuming. 

Daisy beckoned Felix over, sitting back in the grass and watching her friend devour what was left of the brain, shaking her head. “Sweetheart, I am so sorry that happened. Don’t you worry, he’ll be right as rain soon enough. You alright?”

—

They were afraid. It felt like a physical thing, as tangible as the cowboy snapping at their heels. They were afraid of what might happen if those teeth found flesh, afraid of the pain it would bring with it. They still remembered the way it felt when Razor ripped off a chunk of their arm, still felt an ache there even now that the ugly wound had become a fresh, ugly scar. They didn’t want a repeat of that, didn’t want to see more of themself swallowed down someone else’s throat.

But there was more to it than that, too. Felix wasn’t only afraid for themself, wasn’t only afraid of the physical pain or the things that would come with it. They were afraid for Monty, too. They were afraid of the look he’d get in his eye after, of the guilt that would build there. Samir still couldn’t look at them the same, still looked pained and haunted when they caught sight of him in the halls at work. If Monty hurt Felix, he would hate himself. And he didn’t deserve to hate himself; Felix wasn’t sure anyone did.

They heard the sound of pounding hooves behind them, felt a mixture of relief that help had come and fear that it may have come too late. Teeth were still clicking and gnashing behind them, feet still pounding. And then, they weren’t. That physical presence behind Felix vanished. They kept running anyway, continued a few feet until Daisy’s voice called after them. The sound of their name sent them to a stumbling stop.

It was lucky, they thought, that they’d already been half-shifted when the chase began; they may not have been able to outrun Monty otherwise. They felt tired, but not as tired as they likely should have. The mixture of adrenaline and the jaguar’s spirit surging through them made the run less taxing than it would have been for a human. 

Hesitantly, Felix circled back around, standing a few feet away as Daisy shoveled what they could only assume were brains into Monty’s mouth. “I’m okay,” they said quietly. “I’m — He’ll really be all right? He’s — You’ll make sure he knows I’m not mad, right? Or, or scared of him or anything. I’m okay. He’ll know that?”

—

Getting back to her feet while Monty was distracted, Daisy clapped a hand gently to Felix’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, sugar,” she offered them with a soft, understanding smile. Then, with the air of someone performing a task they didn’t like but one that had to be done, the woman approached her feral friend, gathering some length of the rope lassoed around his neck and reaching for his shoulder. He jerked away from her touch and growled, twisting himself around to reach for her, which told her about all she needed to know regarding his mental state. With a sigh, Daisy frowned and stepped out of the way, then lifted her boot to his back and shoved him back down into the grass. The following motion to bind his hands behind his back with the same piece of rope was practiced, done easily and so quickly it gave Monty no time to wrestle himself away from her. What remained of the lead was walked over to the fence, where she tied it around one of the sturdy posts. 

“C’mon. We’ll let him sit out here a while, get it out of his system.” She nodded back the way they’d come and whistled for her horse to come as they started to walk up to the main barn. “Don’t worry about Monty, really—” She hadn’t known Felix long, but could tell that they seemed like the sensitive type, “—he’ll be himself in a couple hours. This ain’t the first time we’ve had to deal with someone goin’ feral on the farm before. He knows the drill.” She cast a glance over her shoulder at her friend who seemed to have resigned himself to his fate, flopped over in the grass and staring blankly into the distance, the brown paper package now empty. 

“Thanks for your help with the… whatever the hell that thing was. If you hadn’t held it off like you did, I reckon we woulda lost a lot more cattle. We owe you, Felix, sincerely.” She smiled warmly, but there was a tinge of sadness in her bright eyes. “Might be best you run on home, darlin’. You’ve helped more than enough for one day. And… I’ll make sure mister Rivera knows how you feel. Promise.”

—

It was so strange, seeing Monty like this. Felix knew, of course, that hunger could do to the undead what fear did to them. Made them something they weren’t, something dangerous. If the jaguar was Felix’s feral cross to bear, then this was Monty’s. And they hated it for him, hated to see him this way, but there was little they could do. Daisy had it handled, anyway, had a system in place that told Felix that this was an expected sort of outcome. It didn’t make it feel any less strange. They doubted anything could do that.

They stared at Monty as Daisy secured him, unable to look away. Was this what they were like, they wondered, when the jaguar took hold? Not in look, of course, but in action? Their jaguar was so angry these days, so feral. The roles here could have become reversed so easily. Felix knew that.

“I…” They didn’t want to leave. They didn’t want to walk away, were afraid what Monty might think if they did. Would he assume they were angry with him, that they hated him now? It’s what Felix would have thought, if the roles had been reversed. And they didn’t want that, didn’t want Monty to feel guilty for something that wasn’t his fault. But… they knew staying was just as bad a plan. There was a heart beating in their chest, something that made them just about the only person on this farm who was a target for Monty to chase. He’d calm down a lot faster without prey driving him. The jaguar always did.

Resigned, Felix nodded. “Yeah,” they agreed. “Yeah, no problem. I’m happy to help. You guys don’t owe me anything. Just, um… Can you tell him to… message me when he’s himself again? I’m not mad. Make sure he knows I’m not mad. I’m just worried about him.” They were repeating themself now, but it was important. 

They hesitated a moment longer, sparing another look at their feral friend before nodding. “Yeah,” they said again. “Yeah. I should — I should go. Um… I’m sorry. About everything. I’m really — I’m sorry. I’ll, uh… I’ll see you around.”

[unhappy-last-resort]

There's Barnyard Grass Growing in Your Garden

Warnings: yandere themes

A/N: ...

Not edited and the title is inspired by his valentines story.

You trusted him, that's why you didn't mind how physically close you were to each other. Why you didn't mind him partially laying on you, gently petting your cheek with the back of his finger.

You trusted him, so you didn't care that your pajamas were a little thin and that your door was locked. You weren't uncomfortable that you're alone together in the dead of night, conversations carried by little whispers and occasional giggles.

You trusted him, so you ignored the odd glint in his eye that would appear from time to time. You didn't find it strange that his attention was always solely on you when you're together, you thought it was sweet and endearing.

He's genuine, pure, sweet, and gentle. That's how you saw him, how you always saw him. You were determined to give your all to help him achieve his dreams, especially for all the ways he's been an incredible friend to you. Sometimes, you wonder if you really deserve to have someone like him as a friend. It made you wish he would lean on you more, but he would always brush you off with an awkward, yet gentle smile and softly spoken words of assurance that he's alright.

Since he wouldn't open up to you more yet, you opted instead to make sure time was always made available for him, no matter what. That's how you got here, laying on your bed with his wrist tracker that was disabled long ago sitting on your nightstand, partially caged in his arms as part of his torso rested on yours while making sure not to crush your delicate body.

His nose gently pressed into the skin of your neck, breathing you in as his arms wrapped around you tightly, like you might disappear if he doesn't hold you close. Lazily, you return the gesture, wrapping your arms around his body and pulling him into your embrace.

You two stayed like that for a while in silence, nothing but your breathing and his to fill the air around you.

"You don't know how much I missed you..." He muttered into your skin before placing a kiss on the side of your neck so light that you didn't seem to notice it at all.

"I missed your voice, your giggles, your expressions...the world feels a little more dull when you're not around." He whispers, pulling himself away from your neck so he could see your face more clearly. He would do anything for you, anything to keep you safe and happy. If he was saying this a few months ago, he might've been embarrassed. Too paranoid of rocking the boat and shattering his relationship with you, but now? He couldn't care less. He would stay by your side no matter what. Even if you push him away, it's okay, because he'll always look after you and he'll always be there to pick you up when you fall. He came to this conclusion after many nights and days going back and forth with himself if he's allowed to feel this way towards someone, if it's wrong to care about someone like this.

Your squirming brings him back to reality, a bashful smile on your lips. "Noan, it's embarrassing when you say things like that..." You mumble, fiddling with the collar of your pajama shirt as a distraction for yourself.

Cute. You were so cute sometimes, it made him want to hold you tightly and keep you somewhere safe. He won't let himself do that though, even though the world may not deserve you, you don't deserve to be deprived of it.

"It's the truth. You have a greater impact on others than you realize." He smiles softly and lightly pokes your nose with his finger, eliciting little bubbles of embarrassed giggles from you. Each one burning themselves into his M.I.N.D.

Sometimes, he wishes he was still human, but being a construct allowed him to be able to see things that he would've missed as a human, and now he can truly fight to protect what he loves even if he's not the best at it. Honestly, if it wasn't for you...he's not sure he could bear the scrutiny he's placed under at every waking moment.

He tries to be grateful, to be patient, he really does...but it's hard not to be bitter about it sometimes. If he was truly alone in this, he may not have given up, but he would certainly be more jaded. However, he's not alone anymore.

He has you. He has your voice in his heart and your warmth seeping into his skin. You're here, relaxed in his arms, talking freely and showing him things you never show anyone else, not even your own squad members sometimes. He's grateful for that, and he'll always cherish these moments.

Even though you are, admittedly, very naive. You don't seem to think about how your trust in him might backfire, about how he might be able to use what he knows about you to his advantage. He knows that if you were to find out how he feels about you, if you saw what the sketchbook you gave him has become, you would most likely run away. Perhaps even be afraid of him, the thought makes him want to shudder, but he suppresses it, not wanting to interrupt your rambling about some argument Asimov and Celica had about healthy caffeine intake.

He takes a breath and pushes his thoughts aside. Right now, the most important thing is enjoying you and your company. He'll make sure you don't find out anything about himself that might upset you.

As you recount recent events to him, you don't seem to notice his hold on you being a little tighter, or mind the borderline obsessive glint in his amber eyes as he rests his chin on your chest.

Right. He smiles. What you don't know won't hurt you.

[sterina-sims]

Please WCIF the woven fence (not the sharp wood pike one) in the background of these pictures?! I used to have it and I‘ve been looking for it everywhere with all kinds of keyword combinations but no luck. Thank you 🙏

Hi anon!

Oh yeah, that can be so frustrating! I feel you!

It's called "Willow Fence" and it is part of the Barnyard Bash set by @sunmoon-starfactory. You can get more information about the whole set and find the download link over here.

[nonsensical-pixels]

welcome to the kine dairy farm

this unnasuming, innocent little farm may or may not be the home of a cow-obsessed, doomsday-expecting cult. at least the milk is fresh!

this is why i needed cows 🐄

more pics:

i have to say that i really, really love how the exterior turned out! the paint is the same as it was in the original build by @chrisnewbie, but i put up a lot of new fencing & tossed in a ton of @sunmoon-starfactory's incredible barnyard bash animals! they're functional, too 😍

the public areas are pretty unassuming, just your average dairy-farm-turned-tourist-attraction...

the private areas are... less so...

the cowplant's name is bezos jeff btw

[fracturedmoonlight]

Sorry to ask years after this was created, but For the Barnyard Bash - Ultimate Livestock & Poultry Collection, I have added the files that were required like the BB_Nooks And Niches & SunMoon-TimeOut, but for some reason I am still getting the blue flash with only the "Poultry Coop - Wicker" found in the Pets location in Build/Buy Mode. Any suggestions?

Looks like the documentation for Wicker items was left out when information was transferred over to a new document. Thank you for pointing it out. It's been fixed now. You need the Dining Chair from Basketweaving 4.1.

In the future, if you have any flashing blue you can download this smaller cache of files indicated in the Quickstart Guide that are common textures sources for everything else if you don't want a whole new set. Recolor not included.

[fireflowersims]

Hi, I've recently downloaded the Barnyard Bash (and all it's requirements) but I'm suffering from a few missing textures - I managed to source the wood textures in the Grapes of Rad mod, but am still missing almost all the stone textures, and some wicker ones. I've read through the available documentation, deleted "pick one" extra files, checked for mod conflicts &c as requested in the FAQ first but am afraid I can't find the source for them - could you please let me know which mod/items I need?

The wicker textures are from the Basket Weaving set. (Dining chair)

The stone textures are from Frac's stone super set (couch)

[nervosims]

Gryps Hilago Ruleset

Osiyo! Welcome to Gryps Hilago. This BACC isn't necessarily starting from scratch, per see. Moreso, the families have lived on the land for quite some time (and have stubbornly refused to leave). The 'founder' is just the one sim with initiative to transform the ghost town into something nicer.

This is an Esotheria stan account, so I'm pretty much abiding by those rules (with some alterations).

RESTRICTIONS

- No electronics. So things like TVs, stereos, computers, electr-... you get the idea. Period appropriate 'hidden' appliances are a-okay, however (within reason, of course). Things that feel too cheaty will probably get ignored (so hidden TVs are a no-go).

- No running water. Sims can take baths, shower, the whole lot... but they won't have the luxury of plumbing. With mods like Fetch Water and Water Require for Bathing, this is pretty easy to manage.

- No cars... except horses. Horses are a-okay. New families'll need to raise and train the horse (with the help of Barnyard Bash). However, it makes sense for my founders to already have horses, right?

- No delivery services

- No services

- No fertilising. Dude... I'm totally not gonna stick to this.

- No community lots (at the start). I do have some parks, mining outposts, etc. but they're more for lore than actual use. So they're more like places to grab water and materials for crafting. They don't earn me CAS points... but they're so pretty :)

- No businesses that sell stuff you can't craft/catch/grow (remember, no deliveries!).

- No hobby lots.

- No townies

FOUNDER

Only the politics career is available and it's only available for the founder. Our founder is the de-facto mayor, and every promotion means better stuff for the town

- (Lvl 3) Lobbyist: Befriend a sim who has the Mechanical skill maxed out to gain access to electricity & running water. I think, lore-wise, they should have some sort of power generated. Like a power plant. I'll expand on this a bit more later.

- (Lvl 4) Campaign Manager: Befriend a sim who is the owner of a business to unlock community lots & townies.

- (Lvl 6) State Assembly Person: Politics is now unlocked to everyone (but only one sim can be Mayor at any given time)

- (Lvl 8) Judge: Befriend a sim who is highest in the Law Enforcement career to unlock the Law career. - (Lvl 10) Mayor: Downtown unlocked.

UNLOCKING the CAREERS

- ATHLETIC: Add connection to Downtown and build a stadium with town funds ($50,000) - MILITARY: Add connection to Downtown and build a Military Base with town funds ($50,000). Only one Sim can be General at any given time. - BUSINESS: Once one of your Sims’s businesses reaches top rank, they can enter the career. When they reach the top of the career, it is unlocked for everyone. - SCIENCE: The career is open to any Sim with maxed out logic skill and a golden talent badge in Robotics. Once they reach the top of the career, they build a research facility with town funds ($50,000) and the career is unlocked for everyone with a University degree in Physics. - CRIMINAL: When the population reaches 100, a place in the Criminal career opens up. Once the top of the career is reached, it is unlocked for everyone, but only one Sim can be Evil Mastermind at any given time. - SLACKER: Once the population reaches a multiple of 500, a position in the career opens up. The career is unlocked to everyone when a connection to Downtown is added. - CULINARY: the Sim entering the career has to open a restaurant business. It does not have to reach a particular rank, but needs to be played at least one day a week. Once they reach the top of the career they can start hiring personnel, and the career is unlocked for everyone. - LAW ENFORCEMENT: A position opens when the town has had its first burglary. Once the Sim has reached the top of the career, they build a Police Station with town funds ($30,000), and start recruiting more law enforcers, unlocking the career for everyone. Burglar alarms are unlocked. Only one Sim can be Captain Hero at any given time. - MEDICINE: When one of your Sims has fallen ill, and has passed on their disease to at least 2 other sims, a position opens to one Sim who has studied Physiology. Once they reach the top of the career, they build a Hospital with town funds ($70,000), unlocking the career for everyone with a University diploma in Biology.

EP CAREERS: - EDUCATION: A position opens up once the first child in your town reaches childhood. Once the town’s teacher reaches the top of the career, they build a school with town funds ($20,000), and the career is unlocked for everyone with any University degree. - ARCHITECTURE: Unlocked when a connection to Downtown has been established. - SHOW BUSINESS: Unlocked when a connection to Downtown has been established - ADVENTURE: Unlocked when the founder builds a museum community lot ($30,000). Once the top of the career is reached, it’s unlocked for everyone. - GAMER: career unlocked to every sim who owns a computer, tv, console and arcade game, after Electricity has been added. - INTELLIGENCE: Unlocked once the top of the Law Enforcement and Military career have been reached, but is only open to Sims who graduated college with a GPA of 4.0 - OCEANOGRAPHY: open to any Sim with a golden fishing talent badge. Once the first Sim reaches the top of the career, it is unlocked for everyone with a University degree in Biology. - DANCE, ENTERTAINMENT: Unlocked when the founder builds a cultural center ($50,000) - JOURNALISM: Unlocked when a connection to Downtown has been established. A position opens up everytime there have been 5 burglaries where items have actually been stolen (burglaries interrupted by the burglary alarm do not count), 5 Sim-Instigated fires where an object actually burned down (fires put out by the fire department do not count), or a Sim reaches the top of any career. - LAW: A position opens up every time a Sim gets furious at someone. To enter the career this way, a Sim needs to have studied Couples Counselling. The career is unlocked for everyone with a University degree in Political Science once the Founder has fulfilled his requirements as a Judge. - MUSIC: Unlocked to everyone when at least 3 instruments have been placed on a community lot. - ARTIST: Unlocked when a connection to Downtown has been established. The career is open to any sim who has sold at least 5 masterpieces. - PARANORMAL:  A position opens when the town builds a cemetery and 5 graves have been sent to it. Additional positions open whenever a Sim is turned into a creature (vampire, werewolf, witch, zombie) or an alien is born. - NATURAL SCIENCE: The career is open for any Sim with a golden gardening talent badge and a University degree in Biology.

EARNING HOOD ADDITIONS

Community Lots: When the founder is promoted to Lvl 4. Either a playable sims buys a lot, or the town funds are used for the new business. Not only that, but you earn 1 CAS Sim (how cool). You can make these sims whenever, there's truly no rush.

Downtown: Once at Lvl 10, the founder unlocks access to the Downtown region via railway (it's the Old West... it's definitely the railway). Hobby lots are also accessible. Of course, it comes at a cost ($500,000) but look on the bright side! We get 5 CAS sims.

University: Unlocked when your town’s teacher reaches the top of the Education career. They have gathered enough renown and connections to set up their own campus of Sim State University. The Mayor will be required to fund the start of the construction, costing the town $500,000 The establishing of a new campus naturally draws new students to the area. You earn 5 CAS Sims.

Shopping District: Unlocked when your town has 5 player owned businesses of any rank, and the Business Career is unlocked. The Mayor will be required to fund the acquisition and conversion of the new stretch of land, costing the town $1,000,000 More businesses means more job openings, and your town attracts Sims looking for work. You earn 10 CAS sims.

TAXES

I've never played with taxes, so I'm playing with them from the start. Taxes will all go to Sheriff Qaletaqa Brokejaw. I imagine she's an incredibly trusted member of Gryps Hilago, and she's storing it for community use sometime in the future. She'll hold onto the taxes until our founder becomes The Mayor (I imagine this is when she finally begins to trust Ayizan... she's a hard lady to impress).

Taxes are paid on the first day with Money Order, and are stored away using Rainy Day Savings. Donations are also accepted, and will be added to the tax pool.

Households are divided into tiers based on their total funds (check from neighborhood screen): Upper Class (net worth $150,000+) Middle Class (net worth $70,000-$150,000) Lower Class (net worth $30,000-$70,000) Poverty (net worth below $30,000)

Each tier earnsEach tier earns the city tax per week based on the number of sims in that household: Upper Class: $1,000/Sim Middle Class: $500/Sim Lower Class: $250/Sim Poverty: $100/Sim

SIM MULTIPLIER

The SM is just a number that you will multiply your number of playable Sims by in order to get the city’s population. The goal of this challenge is create a city with a population of at least 50,000.

At the start of the challenge, the SM is 1. As you progress and unlock certain additions for your neighborhood you’ll increase your SM. Points for your SM are added as follows: +1 for your first community lot +1 when you reach a total of 5 community lots +1 for every additional 5 community lots +5 for adding a Downtown +5 for each Business District +5 for each University -From now on when population is mentioned, it simply means your total number of playable Sims multiplied by your SM.

EXTRAS

Electricity and Running Water: PersimmonSimmer has a really cool rule for getting running water/electricity. A power plant must be built for sims to be able to use electricity. This plant will cost $75,000 and can be purely decorative. Same for a Water Treatment Plant ($75,000) that unlocks running water.

Phones: For phones, both mobile and landline, there should be some sort of structure for them, right? So phone towers are $75,000 as well... No I don't hate my self :).

LINKS:

-��Esotheria's BACC Rules

- Nepheris’ BACC Rules

- PersimmonSimmer's BACC Rules

- Olivethegreat’s BACC rule additions - MCC Rules - Redmond-flats BACC rule changes, additions and tweaks

MODS: - ACR V2   - Visitor Controller - iCad’s Aging Mod + Kidsimblr ACR fertility tweak for iCad’s Aging mod + Chris Hatch’s Neighborhood Age Correct - Invisible Fishing Pond - Gain hygiene from Hot tubs - Cyjon’s Job Stopinator - Simlogical School System

DOCS & REFERENCES:DOCS & REFERENCES: - Excel spreadsheet for Nepheris’ BACC - Taxes spreadsheet for MCC (long post by Eumachia) - Mortia’s Medieval Game Setup Guide (contains tons of awesome tips & links!)

[unitedstates0fdakota]

Jam band are wild why is my mom here explaining shit like “well my favorite recording of “Barnyard Bash” was the 19 minute version Live at The Factory 1999 where Seabass the electric guitar player hit the most insane 7 minute long guitar solo. But fine click the studio version 😒” and I hit the studio version and it’s 3 minutes long

[sunmoon-starfactory]

Barnyard Bash - Pregnancy Hotfix Jan. 16, 2023

Hogs and Goats had their pregnancy lengths set to an incorrect default length. This has been resolved. Default livestock pregnancies are now as follows:

Horses & Halla: 15 days

Cows, Highland Cattle and Brahmin: 15 days

Hogs: 8 days

Goats: 8 days

Sheep: Give birth in spring, no set pregnancy length (not tuneable)

You can change the length by modifying the BCON “Tuning - Weeks”.

I’ve also made some minor changes to code to ensure there shouldn’t be any infinite pregnancies when tweaking pregnancy length at a later date.

The main archive has been updated, but you can also just download the hotfix down below. See the manual for requirements and usage instructions.

Download Hotfix - SFS

View Use/Instruction Manual

View Keep Thread/Pictures

[narabea06]

Some Pride Month art for Mia I drew in June

[dreaminghour]

Hayden/Ewan RPF - Handmade gift

Event: @domaystic Fandom: Star Wars RPF Rating: General Audiences Prompt: 21 Handmade gift Ship: Hayden/Ewan Disclaimer: References to real people are used fictitiously. Do not share this with them! Context: Present day. Vaguely follows the timeline of my other RPF ficlets, but you don't need to read those to understand this. You can find them here on my blog. Words: 990

Ever since Hayden took Ewan on a walk around the property, he's been thinking thinking about those apple trees. He'd been apple picking in New York naturally, but that was ages ago now.

It's nearing on weeks since he's left home. Hayden doesn't pressure him for answers, doesn't even ask how long he's intending to stay, but it weighs on Ewan. Even though being here is a relief which outpaces everything else. There's something so peaceful about spending his days walking the land, running occasional errands in town, helping Hayden around the farm. It isn't something he's ever done much of. He goes to sleep dreaming of apples and sheep.

Hayden puts out apple butter for fresh buns in the mornings but Ewan tries to go easy on it; he doesn't know how much there is in the pantry. Hayden also mentioned 'winter apples' for baking, but Ewan is dreaming of that first crisp bite in the fall, which is months away yet. The weather is still clinging to cool spring ways.

But then, at last, he smells apple pie. When he looks up from the script he's been reading, spread out on the guest bed, he notices that the sun has moved further than he expected. He's making notes to send back to his agent, but this isn't time sensitive so much as an excuse to keep him out of Hayden's hair.

But a smell like that is a siren's call. He stacks all his things in a pile and leaves them on the bed, padding down the stairs to the kitchen. He meets Hayden in front of the oven.

"I was wondering when that would reach you," Hayden says affectionately.

"Just caught up in reading," Ewan says, stepping back as Hayden opens the door and pulls the pie out.

It's steaming, crust a beautiful golden color, bubbles of cinnamon and sugar bursting from the holes cut in the top. Hayden tilts the pie just slightly, as though presenting it to Ewan, and looks at him with a small smile.

"What's the occasion?" Ewan asks.

"Joel and his wife are coming over later," Hayden says, putting the pie on the kitchen's wide window ledge.

Ewan knows Joel from the time he came over to help Hayden fix one of the machines. For as much as Ewan knows the ins-and-outs of his own bikes, he doesn't know much about farm equipment.

"Just a visit with friends?" Ewan asks.

It's not that he feels as though he needs to tread softly on the subject, but the lack of people has struck Ewan as odd. The house is big, meant to be filled with a large family, lots of friends; he wants to call it lonely in his mind, to see Hayden out here with no one but an occaisional farm-hand or two, but Hayden doesn't seem lonesome. He seems solitary, but it seems to suit him.

"Joel's wife is the local sheep shearer. She trims horns and hooves as needed too. That's how I met Joel. They'll be coming by in a bit to shear them before it gets much hotter."

"Does it get much hotter?"

Hayden shrugs. "A bit. Not like California though." And he grins at Ewan in a way that makes it clear he sees something which Ewan would like to ignore.

The pie cools down, but the scent lingers. The truck which pulls up with Joel and his wife, Eileen, is quickly emptied in the barnyard and Ewan helps bag up each fleece as it comes off the sheep. There aren't many to shear; a couple hours and it's all done. Joel and his wife decline the offer of dinner, Ewan briefly wonders if its because of him, and the pie is handed over as well as payment for the service itself.

Hayden is bashful and humble about the pie, even while Joel is practically effervescent and Eileen chortles, which makes Ewan a bit mad that he won't be able to try it.

"I thought you only had a few apples left?" Ewan asks after they've brought the sheep into the barn and cleaned up for dinner. He's standing side-by-side with Hayden in the kitchen again.

"Most farmers keep sides of lamb in their chest freezers," Hayden says, "but mine's full of produce. I chop up the apples, sometimes I mix 'em up with sugar and cinnamon, and then when I need a quick pie…" He makes a ta-da gesture.

"I don't suppose…" Ewan trails off, focusing on chopping the onion with a very sharp knife for the moment.

"Sometimes a whole pie is a bit much for just one person," Hayden says, and when Ewan glances over he sees a fond smile on his face, "and I'll admit I do like the taste of my own apples."

Ewan doesn't reply. He puts the chopped onions in a bowl and then turns to watch Hayden go into his fridge and pull out a baking sheet. Laid out on it are what look like hand pies.

"Are those—?"

"Apple pies for my favorite American friend doesn't stop asking about them," Hayden says with a wink.

Ewan scoffs.

"I have a couple in the freezer," Hayden continues, "but there's usually scraps when I put together a pie fresh, so we can have these for dessert."

He puts the tray back in the fridge and comes to stand beside Ewan again.

"I'm not American," Ewan says at last, a bit quietly and only mock offended.

"Didn't you get citizenship a couple years ago?"

Ewan scoffs again.

Dinner is delicious, as Ewan has come to expect it always is at Hayden's. The smell of baking pie distracts them while they clean their plates and then they're sitting on the couch with ice cream and steaming pies.

The sky is turning dark purple and even though he knows he has to, Ewan is wondering how he'll ever bring himself to leave.

[butchbarneygumble]

I remember before the movie came out and long after, I LIVED and BREATHED Up. It was so important to me. It blew my kiddy brain right out, that animation could also be emotional, and I was at the age where I was finally okay with the fact that animation could be emotional. As a kid I was like "I JUST WANT THE FUNNY BITS" and I had a very embarrassing moment between me and a friend watching Fuckin' Barnyard. I cried because the play-doh lookin' cows had to be all emotional because the dad died. Not bashing the movie (apart from the bull udders nobody ever talks about...) but I felt so bad and WEIRD for crying at something I just wanted to be funny.

But not Up. Up made me realize it was okay to cry. It was The movie that made me wanna work for Pixar. That made me wanna go into animation.

That dream is still very abstract now. But I'm GETTING THERE, actually. I wish I could look at 13 year old Renée, suffering through a lot of hardships and being so depressed in high school and telling her it gets better. You are not a dork for liking animation and now you're in fuckin' college, and also a guy lol.

And now I'm reaching the level where that movie is considered a classic, while I remember it so vividly when it came out. I see media parodying it, from Simpsons to Gumball, and I just feel like I've come so far. As I sit here, drawing impossible vehicles for a school assignment... I keep thinking of young me, who was so afraid to even draw anything that wasn't an animal.

Dear god I'm getting old. But yeah never give up and some stuff like that and also watch Up because Up rules.

[deepbelieverpirate]

Just downloaded the barnyard mod, for my sims to farm.