#yandere noan pgr

[unhappy-last-resort]

There's Barnyard Grass Growing in Your Garden

Warnings: yandere themes

A/N: ...

Not edited and the title is inspired by his valentines story.

You trusted him, that's why you didn't mind how physically close you were to each other. Why you didn't mind him partially laying on you, gently petting your cheek with the back of his finger.

You trusted him, so you didn't care that your pajamas were a little thin and that your door was locked. You weren't uncomfortable that you're alone together in the dead of night, conversations carried by little whispers and occasional giggles.

You trusted him, so you ignored the odd glint in his eye that would appear from time to time. You didn't find it strange that his attention was always solely on you when you're together, you thought it was sweet and endearing.

He's genuine, pure, sweet, and gentle. That's how you saw him, how you always saw him. You were determined to give your all to help him achieve his dreams, especially for all the ways he's been an incredible friend to you. Sometimes, you wonder if you really deserve to have someone like him as a friend. It made you wish he would lean on you more, but he would always brush you off with an awkward, yet gentle smile and softly spoken words of assurance that he's alright.

Since he wouldn't open up to you more yet, you opted instead to make sure time was always made available for him, no matter what. That's how you got here, laying on your bed with his wrist tracker that was disabled long ago sitting on your nightstand, partially caged in his arms as part of his torso rested on yours while making sure not to crush your delicate body.

His nose gently pressed into the skin of your neck, breathing you in as his arms wrapped around you tightly, like you might disappear if he doesn't hold you close. Lazily, you return the gesture, wrapping your arms around his body and pulling him into your embrace.

You two stayed like that for a while in silence, nothing but your breathing and his to fill the air around you.

"You don't know how much I missed you..." He muttered into your skin before placing a kiss on the side of your neck so light that you didn't seem to notice it at all.

"I missed your voice, your giggles, your expressions...the world feels a little more dull when you're not around." He whispers, pulling himself away from your neck so he could see your face more clearly. He would do anything for you, anything to keep you safe and happy. If he was saying this a few months ago, he might've been embarrassed. Too paranoid of rocking the boat and shattering his relationship with you, but now? He couldn't care less. He would stay by your side no matter what. Even if you push him away, it's okay, because he'll always look after you and he'll always be there to pick you up when you fall. He came to this conclusion after many nights and days going back and forth with himself if he's allowed to feel this way towards someone, if it's wrong to care about someone like this.

Your squirming brings him back to reality, a bashful smile on your lips. "Noan, it's embarrassing when you say things like that..." You mumble, fiddling with the collar of your pajama shirt as a distraction for yourself.

Cute. You were so cute sometimes, it made him want to hold you tightly and keep you somewhere safe. He won't let himself do that though, even though the world may not deserve you, you don't deserve to be deprived of it.

"It's the truth. You have a greater impact on others than you realize." He smiles softly and lightly pokes your nose with his finger, eliciting little bubbles of embarrassed giggles from you. Each one burning themselves into his M.I.N.D.

Sometimes, he wishes he was still human, but being a construct allowed him to be able to see things that he would've missed as a human, and now he can truly fight to protect what he loves even if he's not the best at it. Honestly, if it wasn't for you...he's not sure he could bear the scrutiny he's placed under at every waking moment.

He tries to be grateful, to be patient, he really does...but it's hard not to be bitter about it sometimes. If he was truly alone in this, he may not have given up, but he would certainly be more jaded. However, he's not alone anymore.

He has you. He has your voice in his heart and your warmth seeping into his skin. You're here, relaxed in his arms, talking freely and showing him things you never show anyone else, not even your own squad members sometimes. He's grateful for that, and he'll always cherish these moments.

Even though you are, admittedly, very naive. You don't seem to think about how your trust in him might backfire, about how he might be able to use what he knows about you to his advantage. He knows that if you were to find out how he feels about you, if you saw what the sketchbook you gave him has become, you would most likely run away. Perhaps even be afraid of him, the thought makes him want to shudder, but he suppresses it, not wanting to interrupt your rambling about some argument Asimov and Celica had about healthy caffeine intake.

He takes a breath and pushes his thoughts aside. Right now, the most important thing is enjoying you and your company. He'll make sure you don't find out anything about himself that might upset you.

As you recount recent events to him, you don't seem to notice his hold on you being a little tighter, or mind the borderline obsessive glint in his amber eyes as he rests his chin on your chest.

Right. He smiles. What you don't know won't hurt you.

[unhappy-last-resort]

"Noan" idea/drabble

Fandom: Punishing: Gray Raven (PGR)

Warnings: yandere, implied nsfw, kidnapping, brainwashing, horror

"Noan" finding you alone and injured on a mission and Instead of letting the Ravens find you, whisks your unconscious self away and goes deep into one of the few forests left in the world.

He carves a place- a home in it's center where only a handful of sun rays can reach, erases all scent and memory of Babylonia, the Ravens...and "that" version of him you knew. He nurses you to health, makes new clothes, and warns you to never, ever leave the home. Not unless he's with you and when you see the almost aggressive nature of the forest, you agree.

It's lonely, often. He occasionally has to stay out for a few days at a time to find food and supplies for you, but he always comes back and he always makes sure to drown you in affection so sharp it leaves marks for days and weeks afterwards.

You're his, have always been his, he tells you. You've been together for years, long before he was made of metal, he tells you. You loved each other deeply and fervently, he tells you. The world has been overrun by the forest, there's nothing but wood and trees and bodies, he tells you.

Then, one night, when Noan is still gone and your bed achingly empty, there's a crunch. A creak of the trees outside your window. You freeze and stand, cold seeping into your skin and bones as you creep towards the window and the chill settles in your chest as two, yellow eyes, glowing in the night, stare back at you.

You've never seen another person before, and Noan has never mentioned seeing anything but bodies. Is it a monster, born from the roots and soil of the forest? It steps closer, places a hand on the sill of your glass-less window and it talks.

It sounds like him, like your Noan, but your Noan has red eyes made of scarlet ruby, not the devilish yellow of this one. It says to come out, it says you're safe now and the pang of your lover having left you has never resounded more loudly in your body.

Its hand reaches and pulls itself forward, it's hair is grey like his but with white strands in its center and not knowing what else to do you run, out of the house despite his warnings not to.

Your foot catches on the many roots around the boundary of your home- the ones Noan didn't cut and before you fall you feel arms wrap around you and terror bubbles into a scream that makes the trees shudder. You can only pray Noan heard you and is near when it's hand covers your mouth and pulls you back inside. There's a distant rustling in the darkness outside and the yellow eyes of the devil stare into your soul, telling you to remember something as an even darker shadow stands behind it. You hear a thump and those two fireflies are snuffed out as a being with red eyes stands above you.

The next time your eyes open, you've been carefully tucked into your bed and Noan, your Noan, is sitting in front of your fireplace. Contemplative. You tell him what happened and he shushes you, cradles you gently as he tells you it was a nightmare. You try to argue, but it becomes harder to do that when his mind seems occupied on other activities with you- and something off to the side, but when you look there's nothing there.

Once, when his hands squeezed and pulled at the plush of your body while you were teetering on the edge of oblivion, you saw eyes in the dark. Yellow ones. Watching you.

Things have been different since. The house makes new sounds that it didn't before. Particularly, the tapping around the house in the dead of night, sometimes right next to you. Noan leaves less frequently and he's been more intimate more often, and you always feel like something is watching you off in the shadows of your home where your eyes can't see.

It feels like something is waiting, like the forest is waiting. There's an anxious silence that hangs in the branches every day and night. You feel like something is going to happen, one day. Something that will forever change your home.

And you.

[unhappy-last-resort]

A passage found in Noan's sketchbook

Warnings: suggestive

I think heaven is when they call my name.

Their fluttering lashes, shuddering heart, and honey-stained lips in the dark. Their soft skin, hot to the touch, misted with sweat that makes them glow in the moonlight. They babble, make odd little noises, and whine anytime I make the smallest touches.

I wish I could see them more and not only when things in our lives have lined up perfectly. It makes those moments feel like distant dreams, or hallucinations from a hot summer night and not fragments of reality.

Maybe that's why I find myself drawing them so often, trying to recreate what I could see in them on that night. I almost find myself wishing it never happened because it feels like it's made the cavern in my chest bigger, and it only closes when they're close enough to be a companion.

[unhappy-last-resort]

👀 Noan Wolf wip???? 👀👀👀👉👈

So, it's based off of this song and it's still very much in its early development, so I don't have more interesting scenes to tease, but this has been an idea I've had for a few good months. This fic takes place in the A.R.U. and you're just there to help them reclaim and rebuild a lost village. I kinda don't wanna go further than that because I feel like it'd just spoil it, but I'm very excited for it and I can't wait until it's done.

[unhappy-last-resort]

Sneak Peaks & Snippets

Here are some snippets from a few drafts I have. All yandere, of course, and featuring Punishing: Gray Raven, Path To Nowhere, Love and Deepspace, and Genshin Impact.

Keep in mind all of these are wips and will change in the final result, I am also not certain when these will be finished. Regardless, I hope you enjoy these little sneak peaks!

Warnings: mentions of blood, yandere

Edit: I went back through and labeled each snippet along with the fandom it belongs to

You didn't expect Gray Raven to track you down after a mere two hours and demand an explanation out of you, only to then immediately join you and adamantly refuse any and all attempts to persuade, or force them to turn back.

Bad Decisions (Bianca, Punishing: Gray Raven)

It's been 30 hours since you all defected from Babylonia. You simply couldn't stand with Babylonia after they sent a small, yet sizeable amount of Purifying Force and Task Force members to conduct a search through one of the Forsaken's smaller camps. People were hurt, Constructs killed, Forsaken soldiers taken to Babylonia under arrest. Suffice to say, it was a mess and an unjustified one in your opinion. So you left.

"We're Gray Raven." Lucia told you resolutely, her twin tails billowing in the wind behind her, a fire alight in her red eyes that was reflected in the coolness of Lee's and the earnestness of Liv's. "Whatever we face, we face together. And we will face it with you, and only you."

Terror carried your legs through the fresh snow, occasionally slipping on wet leaves, or tripping over a root, but you didn't fall and as long as you didn't, you still had a chance to live.

Unnamed (Noan, Punishing: Gray Raven)

You pulled the trigger, a loud bang ringing endlessly in your ears without the added ear protection you usually wore and in an instant the shadow started moving towards you. As the shadow became more and more pronounced, to the point you could see two golden eyes fixated on you, you turned and ran.

The pines around you became blurs of brown, green, and white as you ran down a hill. You could still hear it behind you, twigs snapping loudly and leaves rustling as your pursuer ran after you. Your breath came in little puffs of white smoke as your throat felt dry from the frigid air. You had to keep running no matter what, but how long can you run for? Can you outrun a wolf?

Your foot catches and unlike the previous times, you can't catch yourself in time. You think you hear something behind you, a low, pleased rumble closing in. You tumble forward, your head hitting a rock buried beneath the snow as your body hits trees and debris at random until you finally fall into a soft patch of snow at the bottom of the hill.

Disoriented, you try to stand only to fall to your knees, the world leaving afterimages of it as you move your head, your brain still spinning from the fall, but amidst your haze, you see the wolf rapidly declining, seemingly faster than before. As you were about to lift your gun, the wolf comes closer and through blankets of snow, reveals a pale face with grey hair with two strands of white in the front, and golden eyes peering through a pair of old glasses on his nose.

You breath a sigh of relief and you're about to fling yourself forward into his arms and whisper how glad you are that he's safe into his ear when you notice the streaks of red and vital fluid splattered across his face and staining his clothes.

“I missed you.” She whispered so quietly as if it was a secret that should be kept only between the two of you. She pulled you tightly into an embrace, her arms nestling so firmly around your shoulders that you wouldn't be able to pull away. “You have no idea how much I've missed coming home to you.”

Unnamed (Angell, Path To Nowhere)

Her breath smelled like the cup noodle chicken she had stored in her safe house when you there. It made your heart flutter softly at the familiarity of it.

Despite the circumstances of your first meeting, it had blossomed into something greater, into something you looked back on with a sense of fondness, although you'd still prefer to never be in such circumstances again- even if it was with her. You returned her hug, relishing in the feeling of being able to touch her after months and months of dreaming about it. “I missed you too.”

She pulls away, just enough so she can tilt your face up at her, her eyes scanning yours with an uncanny eagerness swirling behind her eyes, in contrast to her usual sluggish nature. “You have?”

“Of course I have, Angell!” You barely stifle a giggle. “You just went and disappeared for so long I thought you-”

Something cold and hard latches around your wrists, squeezing around the bones painfully. You look down to find your wrists bound in the red handcuffs that were hanging of her belt loop, you slowly raised your eyes to meet hers, a small, fond smile was the only difference in her expression as she traces the outline of your jaw with her gloved hand.

“Angell? What's this for?” You shuddered as memories and feelings started coming back to you, the ones you had forgotten or overlooked in your blind desire for nostalgia. The dread, the confusion, the smell of iron that would waft through the door with her like in announcement of her presence and would cling to her clothes as if it had been baked into the very material itself.

“Shhhh...” You could feel the cool leather of her gloves on your hands, her thumb rubbing circles into the back of your hand. “It's alright, I'm taking you home now.”

At once, the warmth you had felt in her presence turned cold, the golden hues of her eyes that you had found comfort in had become something sinister and possessive, your bedroom suddenly feeling far too small to escape from the danger now inside it. Perhaps this had always been the case, perhaps she was always this frightening and you had simply ignored it in favor of something softer and kinder.

“I assume this seat is free?” He asks as he lowers himself onto the bar stool. Not like I would stop him even if my friends were here.

Unnamed (Sylus, Love and Deepspace)

“Hey.” A deep voice sounds in my ear and echoes through my bones, giving me a heart attack. I jerk away from the voice and make sure to give the stranger a what-the-fuck-is-wrong-with-you face. He's tall, got white hair, I'm almost certain it's pure white, and his coat tossed over his shoulder and a red button-up on with some pattern on it I can't fully make out. His collar and a couple buttons below it are unbuttoned though, can't say I blame him. Even I had to take off my cardigan after a few minutes of being in here. He's muscular, probably the type that likes to lift weights for fun- Oh, he's leaning towards me again. The fuck does he want?

“Yeah.” I turn my attention back to the rows of glasses and alcohol behind the bar. I'm tempted to drink something heavy, very tempted, but I have to look out for myself here. I check my phone, 12:00 A.M., the next bus is at 12:30 and the last bus is at 2:30 and it stops right outside the bar. Just a little bit more and then I'll be able to go home, put on my PJ's and rewatch my favorite show for the hundredth time...maybe I'll order some pizza to go with it.

“Waiting on friends?” The stranger asks sounding half curious and half bored, mostly bored.

I laugh with a grimace. “Yeah.” It's not technically a lie, and besides, I was taught to never divulge details to a stranger, especially in these parts of the city.

There's a moment of silence from the stranger and I breath a sigh of relief that he's not pressing on it.

“Did you come for the band?” He rests his arms on the bar and looks at me, though he doesn't look like he cares if I answer or not.

“Yeah, my friends have been following this band for a while.” I click my tongue and take a sip of my water. “They were real excited about it.”

He raises a brow and cocks his head to the side, not unlike a cat finding something interesting. “Were?”

Oops.

“Yeah, uh- they are! I just misspoke earlier.” I laugh it off with a smile. Hopefully that's enough to cover for my screw up. Damn it, I just wanna go home.

He nods and looks away for a moment, and I assume the conversation is done until he looks at me again and leans towards me. “My name's Sylus.” He reaches out a hand, again though, he doesn't look like he's expecting much of anything.

Inwardly, he hesitated. The uncertainty he had felt- had always felt- about this plan of his had come center stage and was impossible to deny. Was it right to cage a dove that had already been caged before? Was it right to keep a dove hidden in the confines of a household after it had already escaped another? Was it right to stab them where someone else had stabbed before?

Unnamed (Lyney, Genshin Impact)

Your sweet face, usually adorned in cautious smiles and thinly veiled curiosity, was contorted into a silent scream of agony. Your eyes brimmed with tears, your lips were shut tight but trembling, your eyebrows furrowed into something between anger and sadness.

Outwardly, though, he was already by your side, whispering practiced words of comfort that sounded genuine to anyone else, but he knew that you knew how hollow they actually were, but he pretended you didn't. If he set this dove free, who's to say someone else won't come find them? Trap them against their will and break their wings to splinters? At least if he has to break them- if you push him to break them, he'll be gentle with it, and isn't that better than someone else? Than the unknown?

He thought so, at least he hoped it was so.

“Yes, and you're required to have a commandant.” He pauses as he finishes typing something on his terminal. “You're allowed to request who.” At that, Chrome finally looks up at him, his eyes as blue as the ocean which only hints at how deep it goes, yet never revealing what lies inside. It was as though he already knew what his answer was going to be.

Unnamed (Camu, Punishing: Gray Raven)

Camu sniffs and rolls his shoulders, his artificial muscles straining against his harness as if he could smell the battle from Babylonia. “A new mission, huh.”

Camu nods, not bothering to hide his glee as a smile creeping onto his face. He'll finally get to see you again, and not just passing each other in hallways, or briefly catching site of each other while waiting for your respective transport ships this time, he'll be able to talk to you again, to hear your voice, watch all your expressions and mannerisms. Hell, he might even be able to touch you again, he still occasionally feels the ghostly sensation of warmth on his hand even after all this time, the warmth your mitochondria orchestrates as your blood busily works to keep you alive, it's your warmth. It made him almost giddy to finally be able to make good on that promise of yours and touch more of you, perhaps even be able to taste you if he got lucky.

Chrome hesitates briefly, and for a split second, a ripple is seen in the usually ever calm ocean, but before Camu has the chance to linger on it, he curtly nods instead. “Good luck on your mission.” It's as affirmative and steadfast as it always is when Chrome bids him good luck.

“Thanks.” He nods before heading towards the disinfectant zone. The cautious side of him thinks that he should be wary, but the rest of him is undecided.

He looked like he had stepped out of a book with his creamy white tailcoat, jabot collar, and golden accents throughout his outfit. It made you feel a little plain in yours by comparison.

Ocean's Longing (Chrome, Punishing: Gray Raven)

"Commandant." His voice was low and crystalline, it made the air around you shudder like the tap of a knife rang through a line of crystal glasses. His voice wasn't loud enough for any other party goer to notice, but you heard him as clearly as if it was just the two of you here. A pocket dimension where only you two existed. "You hadn't told me you'd come."

"I didn't think you'd be here." You respond quietly, staring at the marble floor. You wondered if it was real or not. "...This didn't seem like your type of thing."

"You're not wrong." He took a step forward, his navy blue shoes coming into your vision. "I'm not very fond of this environment."

A warm breath fans against your ear, sending goosebumps over your skin with each whispered syllable. "I happen to have a place of retreat, if you'd like."

You wonder what people would think if they saw the son of one of the most powerful individuals in Babylonia whispering in the ear of some commandant. Something scandalous, no doubt.

"Won't people notice your absence?" You glance at a nearby group of officers, all smiles as they're engrossed in conversation with one another.

Chrome's lack of response prompts you to look at him again. He has an unreadable expression on his face again, a look you've gradually become more familiar with recently.

He shakes his head, but offers no explanation, instead he offers you his hand. You take it.

[unhappy-last-resort]

PGR Fanfic Recommendations

Just wanted to compile a little list of my favorites.

These range from 18+, to fluff, to angst, to suggestive (smut will be labeled 18+)

Knight's Longing - Sensabo

If you know my blog, this is not a surprise at all. I think I've talked about this fic like three times on here. It's gold if it were words. This is...not really angst or fluff, more of a character study if anything.

In This Moment - Sensabo

You like Noan? You like pain? Well do I have the fic for you! This is a slight canon divergence AU that takes place around CH26 / Cradle's Parade. If you know, you know.

|18+| 2023 Kinktober, Shameless - Starry

So, I did forget to mention (and was also self conscious about my writing so I lowkey didn't want to), but the Vonnegut segment is partly responsible for the existence of Forgive Me, My God. So...thank you for inadvertently enabling me?

Bloodbath - Starry

Yandere. Roland. Blood. My favorite things. Do I need to explain more? Like probably most people who are getting into the PGR fandom on tumblr, Starry's fics where one of, if not the first fanfics I read and this was absolutely the first Yandere PGR fic I read.

Am I The Only One? - Chronoshot

To be honest, these two fics by Chronos are a little special to me. Sprial of Chronos is one of my favorite patches and it's the one where I really got into PGR so it holds a special place in my heart

Luck Had Your Name - Chronoshot

This one I love a lot. The writing and use of color really emphasizes Lee's sincerity. On that note, this person is just a very good writer and you should read their stuff beyond this!

Regret - Les

a very cute little Chrome fluff fic that I read many, many moons ago but still warms my heart.

Marks & Claims - Les

A little Noctis fluff fic, one of the few that exist in English, I believe and I still remember being excited when I first saw it.

You Don't Have To Knock Next Time You Come In - Squishy

I still love this little yandere drabble from Squishy. They were the first one who really encouraged me on my blog and those asks and interactions I still hold dear to this day.

|18+| Twilight Falls (Bloodborne AU) - enupairdepartment

I, unfortunately, have yet to play Bloodborne, but I am obsessed with its aesthetic. Have you seen some of the scenery? Or the bosses? Terrifying, elegant, beautiful, and horrifying, are some of my favorite things. Hence why I had to read this AU. The ideas and potential this has definitely kept it in the back of my mind ever since I first read it.

Side Note: This author writes primarily Character X Character ships including Camu/Roland, Lee/Liv, Lee/Vera, Bianca/Watanabe so if that's something you've been looking for, consider checking them out!

Untitled Work - Shrimp Dumpling

Shrimp is one of the lovely people who participated in my PGR Writing Game, they have some lovely little fics that are honestly just a lot of fun to read.

Cherished Dreams - Eden

Do not be fooled by the author's ominous name, this is a fluff fic! With our one and only Wanshi written very beautifully.

|18+| Yandere Alpha - Rei

Look man, I have to include this okay. Ms. Lightning McQueen herself broke into my house and threatened me to do it, it's not my fault.

That's all that will be in this post, I will probably do this again at some point, but regardless I hope you found some new writers you'll enjoy. Remember to let them know that you appreciated their fics if you do!

[unhappy-last-resort]

I have so many Noan thoughts that I must process, but I will say that I was floored with the wolf comparison because I literally have a draft for a yan Noan fic that was inspired by Baby I'm the Wolf by Ha Vay ...I cannot believe I managed to get that right about his character

[unhappy-last-resort]

I'm pretty sure my latest fic is being hidden from tags cuz of how explicit it is, so reminder that it also exists on AO3

[unhappy-last-resort]

Welcome to the Unhappy Last Resort.

PGR Writing Game!

Read Other Writers Works!

A.K.A Authors Favorites

Counting Minutes (Yandere Roland X GN Reader)

Delusions (Yandere Simon X GN Reader)

Noan Angst Drabble (Noan X GN Reader) - not yandere

My Song I Yearn For, My Conductor I Follow (Hameln X GN Reader) - smut

Langely Gun Play (Yandere Langely X GN Reader) - smut, bondage

Frozen Over (Yandere Sylus X GN Reader) - yandere angst

Vampire Drabble (PGR) - yandere, angst

Lucia: Lotus - angst, post death

Zayne Angst Drabble (Zayne X GN Reader) - implied death, implied suicide

Only In Aphotic Hours (Yandere Cinnabar X GN Reader) - SMUT, situationship

Forgive Me, My God (Yandere Vonnegut X GN Reader) - SMUT, misuse of religious objects

Angst Lee Drabble (Lee X GN Reader) - mourning

Golem's Treasure (Yandere Uvhash x GN Reader) - implied nsfw, blood sucking, stalking

Vote on a poll:

Who would you like to see a yan fic for? - PGR ENDED

AO3 Link, Masterlist, FAQ, Game IDs, Bluesky

Tag guide under the cut.

Unhappy favorites - my favorite fics, mostly not written by me

Unhappy answers - anon asks

Unhappy writings - my fics

Unhappy drabbles - as it says, my drabbles and what not

Unhappy laments - me saying bs

Unhappy Studies - reference material, writing rescources, etc

Unhappy Thoughts - my random yan thoughts that don't quite meet my definition of a drabble and aren't fics

All those tags are on this post for easy access. This is a link to my old pinned because I don't feel like retyping all the tags I use to find my debauchery