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dynamousse · 11 months ago
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this post on twt reminded me that this is the exact reason dynamousse exists i just Really Like those guys
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jeanmoreaue · 6 months ago
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I agree!! *an incoherent rant incoming* Jean imo def moved on from Kevin (in a romantic way; i think he’s not moved on from the whole ‘Kevin left me’ thing ofc but I think he obviously knows and accepts that he and Kevin won’t ever happen lol). And that scene with Renee was obviously a closure/farewell and they’ve moved on to being friends now (also imo while i like their dynamic i feel like they’d never work bc of the whole victim saviour complex, that’d be really uncomfortable and hard to overcome). Jeremy seems like he’s able to handle Jean’s crazy baggage without placating him too much or pushing him too hard. He definitely needs to work on his own shit first (i feel like the way he went all in on helping Jean is kind of giving ‘I am avoiding my problems by getting too involved in others’ problems’) but I think Jean will be the perfect person to help him with that! As you said he’s super perceptive and honestly very empathetic even if he doesn’t show it in the most obvious way. Jeremy would probably really appreciate Jean’s brutally honest approach lol. They’re lowkey perfect for each other ☹️ TSC2 can’t come soon enough
hardcore agree on every single point you made!! i feel exactly the same about Jean and Renee, as much as their dynamic is sweet, i think it would be really difficult to overcome Jean feeling indebted to her (whereas Jean and Jeremy are both growing together) + ya i think Jean has very complicated feelings toward Kevin but i don’t think he’s actively yearning over Kevin anymore
and exactlyy i definitely imagine Jean quietly picking up on whatever Jeremy’s going through and expressing concern only for Jeremy to try and pull a “my problems aren’t that bad and therefore don’t matter” which i don’t see Jean accepting. especially since Jean has an ‘older brother who cares more about other people’s well-being more than his own well-being’ vibe (underneath his slightly prickly attitude lol) i think Jeremy and Jean are really good for each other, Kevin subconsciously knew what he was doing by having Jean transfer to USC 🤨
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raifuujin · 6 months ago
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It's been more than 20 years and for some reason I feel that Gosho hasn't given Kaiao any development, how can more than 20 years pass and Aoko dynamics, relationship and feelings remain the same? At this point I feel like Gosho is just going to make them date because "they already liked each other" they remain in the same status quo
Hey, if we go by DC romance progress, they've been going too fast. We've already had suspicion of identity chapters, and that didn't happen until more than 400 chapters in DC. /j
Since heists have taken over any character development recently, I don't even know if Kaito and Aoko will even get any romantic progress. Maybe the actual identity confrontation will happen down the line, since that's thief drama, but atm, it really wouldn't surprise me if they only ask each other on a real date at the very end of the manga.
Like. I'm sure Gosho would love to make MK a love drama as well, but he writes MK so rarely, and usually as hype for something Kid related in other media. So the MK stories tend to be heavy on drama that can only take place at Kid heists. (To the point that the new chapters just. Use Kid as the plot device to show off a new character. Even Hakuba's never gotten so much 'look at this character being a detective' treatment in MK.)
-sighs- I just feel bad for MK as a series at this point. I like the characters, I like the general story idea, but. It's been going down a very steep hill with Gosho wanting things exciting, but not wanting any real progress in. Anything. But unlike old MK, the new stories aren't even nice standalone setpieces of story, they're... mundane. They could be high stakes, if you purely look at the scenarios on paper, but. We all know nothing's gonna happen to Kid. Nothing even happens to him when the actual bad guys show up, much less one-time antagonists.
We need actual character focus and development, not heist drama. Badly. Not even romance, though that'd be a nice change. Just any character expansion of our limited cast of characters. Gosho wants big, all the time, meaningless big stuff, when small would be so nice.
#And also he probably won't care to expand on KaiAo when he knows it's already canon#Like; not in the same way that ShinRan is canon endgame and he just needed to write it out#But in a 'I said these two were dating in another manga; they will exist even if I haven't written it'#And his story atm does feel like it could be left off with an ambiguous note on if they're together or not#And then just leave them dating in Yaiba for people who care about confirmation#MK is not in a stable enough state; I really don't know what he's planning with anything#And it's been so. -gestures to all the 'meaningless big stuff'- lately#I don't know if it'll ever get any shift in focus in the future#We barely get anything; all we have now is a new character people are divided about#And the tiniest continuity of Aoko thinking to herself that Kid is teasing her by reminding her of Kaito#Like; part of the problem is continuity as well; at least if Gosho wants to stick with DC-ish MK#MK has all the potential for callbacks or returning characters that could be interesting#But none of the potential that fans enjoy is ever /used/#We got all our KaiAo up front. We have suspicion arcs where it's barely mentioned that Kaito's proven his innocence in the past#They could go back to the amusement park and Aoko could mention the movie and Kaito can be sweating#Because he never saw the movie; that's then he peaced out to go heisting#There's so much. Gosho's good at adding potential to his story#But everything he comes up with to make canon ends up disappointing because he never fully uses any of it#He just adds more and more elements that go nowhere#MK is a mess that gets more and more fun to play around in; but the actual chapters are. Bad#Which might be for a reason similar to DC of we wait so long and get something extremely meh#Except instead of the months between DC cases; it's years for MK; and DC fans complain the entire time#So when MK fans are fed crumbs of... anything. It's just not as enjoyable as new content should be#(I got rambly in tags; sorry ;._. )
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luc1ferian · 2 months ago
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Hi I'm thinking about writing a h2g2 and gravity falls crossover fic. I saw your post awhile ago and I was wondering if you had any idea on how the two fords would interact.
Oooh this is a really good idea!
Hm, I haven't properly watched Gravity Falls in a while (I KNOW IM SORRY), but comparing their personalities from what i know they have a couple similarities and differences.
For first interactions I'm not entirely sure how or where, neither of them are naturally social but if someone were to start a conversation it would be Prefect, and once they realize they're both named Ford P. they'd hit off perfectly.
I think they'd love to go out for a small drink and talk about their outlooks on life, about space, their own traumas and relationships, about their research and studies with their respective books (Pines to the Journals, and Prefect to the Guide), and about their plans for future. This interaction could also be a lot funnier depending on the tone you wanted to take.
Ooooh they could also rant about their annoying family members (Zaphod and Stan)
They would also engage in an epic game of Dungeons & More Dungeons no doubt
#if you ever end up writing this fic please feel free to send me it when you're ready i would love to see it :)#okay okay im not sure if you were only planning for the fords to interact but a full crossover is immediately interesting me now#hmm maybe the HoG malfuctions with the improbability drive on and it crashes into the mystery shack immediately i think that would be silly#i'm really interested in bill and arthur interactions now as well. they barely have any similarities but it sounds really funny#oh wait they could relate to their world's being destroyed...even though bill's the one who destroyed his own world#i think the pines twins would immediately lose their marbles over ford and zaphod being *real life* aliens#ford prefect would give dipper his copy of the Guide that man would give a 6 year old a laser blaster this is tame for him lol#mabel would be super insane over the fact that zaphod has 2 heads and 3 arms and was also a president and zaphod would. not care#(i head canon he dislikes children)#i think a mabel and marvin interaction would be cool too#uber depressed and uber excited#i also need zaphod and stan relations yeahhhhh 2 greedy often self-absorbed criminals probably wanted across all 4 dimensions#i want to see trillian and arthur summon bill cipher by complete accident because they were bored and they are simply just Normal Guys#neither of them would be surprised to see a floating yellow triangle with a tophat. they've seen too much at this point this would be norma#someone needs to restrain me i've made too many tags#ANYWHO happy writing!! im sorry if i sound demanding you get to choose whatever you would like for your story i just got a little silly#i hope i answered your question enough#h2g2#the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy#ford prefect#gravity falls#ford pines#stanford pines#ask#tumblr asks#lucifers gluttony#lucifers inferno
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the-lark-ascending69 · 7 months ago
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> be a robin buckley fan
> be lesbian
> project on robin
> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic
> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve
#saw one in which steve was like ''no robin you don't understand! i have never been loved! i don't know how that feels like!''#i have several grips about that interpretation#going from the fact that's not true (dustin is clearly a big steve fan + robin herself cares about him deeply)#to the fact he probably wouldn't be introspective enough to voice his emotions this concisely not to mention he'd probably wouldn't take#a moment to realize he's never felt loved if that were the case. i mean. he could think that. when he's like 35 and more in touch with his#inner world. 19yo steve can't even get the hint that hitting on a girl who's already clearly taken (nancy) is wrong so like i don't expect#him to be that smart#but i can live with people having takes i don't agree with. my opinion doesn't have to be everyone else's opinion if you see steve that way#it fine#what bothered me was the fact he was saying this to a lesbian living in the 80s lmao#who tells him that 1) her whole life has been an error 2) she doesn't think he'd want to be close to her if he truly knew her and 3)#3) is paralyzed by fear of social suicide if she dares believe for even a second that the girl she likes may like her too#like i dont need people to do deep dives into robin lore and quote from memory lines from Surviving Hawkins abt robin feeling like she's#rotten inside. not supposed to have friends. feeling like something is wrong with her and that pushes people away etc etc#the fact that she's a lesbian should tell you enough abt who has the biggest chances of being loved 😭#also bothered me that it showed up when looking up posts abt internalized homophobia because?? where's the internalized homophobia therw#unless it's gay steve feeling bad abt it in an AU (as if canon robin didn't go through it)#like look im not bothered to find steve-centric content in the robin tag cos people are gonna tag her in posts mentioning her.#she's his friend.#but there are barely any posts at all about robin's internalized homophobia. like i saw 2 or 3. compared to all the steve or steddie ones#where's the love for my babygirl 😭😭#anti steddie#not really but y'know i don't wanna bother anyone#edit: the bit about there being like 3 posts on robin w internalized homophobia isn't exactly true. there are a few. but they still feel#drowned in st3ddie posts#like something isn't right here
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bearlytolerant · 1 year ago
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Fandom: Wayfarer (if)
Rating: Explicit
Pairing: Enna Cenric x Sabien Quirinus
Word Count: 853
Savior
She wakes to filtered blue light, hands grasped around the softest sheets she’s ever felt. Her head, though still pounding, rests on a pillow that she doesn’t ever want to get up from. It smells of sandalwood and something citrus and she realizes she’s not in a dream. She shoots up with a start. Hand flies to her beating chest and she’s still in her attire from the night before.
“Oh good, you’re finally awake.”
She hates that she knows his voice already and of course she’s in his room. The details come back sudden, if blurry. She was a fool to drink so much the night before and as much as she hates to admit it, “I didn’t need you to save me, you know.”
“No need to call it salvation. Think of it as calling in a favor.” Quirinus sits at the vanity, pulling his shoulder length locks half up into a braided bun.
“What do you want?”
There’s a low hum in his throat and a little tsk. “You’ve barely had a chance to gain your bearings. We can get to business in a moment.”
Suspicious. That kind of statement is almost nice. The archmage doesn’t do nice. Especially when she’s now indebted to him.
Her legs are bricks as she slides them around the side of the bed. Fingers to her temples, she rubs at the growing pain.
“There’s a drink there by your bed. I suggest you make use of it.”
“Why would I drink anything from you?”
“If I were going to kill you, Enna. I would have done it already.” His eyes crinkle around the edges in the mirror’s reflection.
She knows before those words were spoken that he’s right. He could’ve, no would have killed her already if that was his intent.
She drinks and she waits for her throat to swell up or her limbs to go numb or something. Anything. But he just watches and it soothes. Sleep hits her softly but quickly and she manages to mutter it’s what she expected but his last words are, “rest” before her world washes away again.
It’s afternoon and he’s brought her food that she eats reluctantly. New attire and her sword which she thought for sure would be gone. He probably did something with it that she’ll figure out later when it’s too late because having too much to drink around him was already her biggest fuck up.
But his eyes are the color of escape in low tide and she makes the dumbest mistake of all. She kisses him. Tentative and hard and definitely with too much gusto. What’s worst of all is the way he smiles as he kisses her back. Like he’s won and maybe he has but what’s she to do?
Her fingers grasp at his collar, yanking and pulling upward, getting caught on his arms because she’s fumbling and it’s been a long time. One step back and he’s free of those stupid robes she hates and there’s no other thought but to rake her fingernails down his chest before she shoves him, hard, onto the bed. He lets out a small pleasurable sound. He likes it. Because of course he fucking does. And he uses his magic to remove her clothes, a simple snap of his fingers. It’s sexy and she’s definitely wet from that but it’s a secret he’ll never get out of her. He’s too eager with it all though and she briefly wonders how long he’s been wanting to disrobe her. But it’s not really the time for thinking. No minds. Just bodies. Messy and imperfect. Rough and primal.
She inwardly toasts to some kind of small victory from that.
Straddling him on his bed, she takes what she wants of him. Nips at his ears. Pulls on his hair. Coaxes a groan. Elicits a sigh. Hands around his throat.
She sinks down on him and he moans.
“I could kill you now,” she whispers into his ear.
His hands dig into her ass. The pressure of his rings are leaving imprints in her skin.
“No guards.” She squeezes his neck just a little tighter. “And you may be the archmage, magic on clothes but your magic won’t work on me.”
He thrusts into her, leaving her gasping for breath. Her grip on his throat weakens and he’s smirking.
“It’s a shame because I could’ve given you quite the experience. But you will see that I am talented in many areas, even those without magic.”
She grits her teeth together and then kisses him again, too hard. “Just shut up.” Then she saves her kisses because he doesn’t deserve her lips. Her tenderness. Even if he was nice enough to bring her a meal. Share his bed.
He obeys. Until he doesn’t. But at least he isn’t muttering his arrogant ramblings. He only grunts and groans just like her. She pushes him to her own climax then leaves him breathing heavy, tangled in the sheets. She puts on her attire and belts her sword, not bothering to look back as she walks out his door.
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transgenderfivepebbles · 2 years ago
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fun fact destroying someone's mental health does not make them more productive
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waywardsalt · 1 year ago
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hiiii i snapped again long rant abt totk's shit story under the cut
i hate totk's story so fucking much this was going to be a much longer post but i do not care i hate how it relies so much on the player already giving a damn and hardly does any work to make you care any more, i hate how link's sheer lack of any indication of how he feels about anything beyond basic reactions to his environment just makes him feel like a nothing character in the story, i hate how zelda was sanded down to be just perfect and inoffensive and dutiful, i hate how sonia literally existed to motivate rauru and zelda, i hate how ganondorf, despite having the most interesting animations and being the most entertaining character, had such nebulous motivations and lackluster connection to the actual world he's in, i hate how any character arc that existed was so vapid and shallow, i hate how it seemed so afraid to do literally anything complicated with its themes or characters, i hate how nothing important changed in any meaningful way, i hate how fucking insulting it feels when it's come after stories like ocarina of time, majora's mask, twilight princess, skyward sword, wind waker, pretty much any of the other fucking zelda games and is fucking $70 and yet its story and characters just feel worse than anything that came before it. i watched the scene of link and zelda meeting back up for the first time in skyward sword and the emotion from both link and zelda and the sense of history between them the dialogue manages to communicate and how it relates back to the rest of the story and while i loved it it also just made me so mad how this game's hd version came out before totk and totk just was so much fucking worse despite all of this proof that they could do otherwise
#salty talks#i am not tagging this as any game i will probably get fucking eviscerated if i make this easy for the majority of the loz fandom to find#i just- totk is the most recent zelda game! it's $70! and it just feels fucking bad when compared to other older cheaper zelda games!!!!#this story isnt meh it fucking sucks it makes me feel like a rabid fucking animal when i have to think about it what the FUCK#there are good things in this fucking game. but where it fails is just so god damn irritating bc its shit older games did well!!#and this fucking game is going to get perfect scores and the people in charge are just going to keep doing shit like this#bc it makes money who fucking cares about telling a good story or having good characters any more. fuck off#i keep saying 'i miss linebeck' as my shorthand for why this game pisses me off#i just. man people fucking hate phantom hourglass but still it managed to have an incredible character with incredible development#and emotional relevance to the story and the game worked to endear him to you and showed you little things through how he moved#totk made me worse sometimes i fucking hate how much i care about stories in games#at least if i didnt care this game wouldn't make me so genuinely angry at how its just a god damn fucking LET DOWN but everyone loves it#GOD i hate being a contrarian sometimes i hate that i can barely understand how people like this game like its the best thing ever made#ive played fucking flash games with more interesting characters and worldbuilding and emotion. fuck off#like. in a similar vein ganondorf still being fucking green pisses me off so bad bc its been 25 years since oot and they have not changed#it really seems like they dont fucking care. theyre going to keep making money even if the stories are paper thin and the old problems stic#i barely understand why this game makes me so fucking angry. ig loz has been such a big part of my life and now i feel alienated from it#something something you expect more from the things you love? idk. fuck totk.#bitching abt totk
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m0e-ru · 1 year ago
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annual realization where this gas station’s operations and my life owe it all to visualive i’m serious
#kommento#// thinking if i should put all my thoughts in the body of the post instead of tags like these but oh well it’s a quirk of mine#// friendship is so important to me cca is so important to me that one skit with that mention of cca is SO IMPORTANT TO ME friendship is so#// without vl i would have never think of adachi as affectionately as i do right now like no dojima hangout times are going to save me in#// any alternate timeline there’s no going back#// i would still love mimi yes but just in a different flavor#// i really don’t how how to describe that fork in the road but yeah i just /waves hands around/#// unlike most adachinators i develop adachis super weak and sad sympathy and basic morality with a gas station attendant instead#// of detective yaoi and family fun times#// you thinking adachi would win the idgaf war but those two skits in vl blow that all out of the water#// i mean there’s the rest of the game but like i commit favoritism crimes okay#// LITERALLY JUST TOSS HIS SOCIAL LINK AWAY for a second think about what adachi is think about him in the ps2 context#// LITERALLY JUST READ THE MANGA PLEASE i’ve had my theories tested and confirmed on how much you can care about tohruadachi#// at the bare minimum information you have on him and experiencing him as organically as possible IN THE ORIGINAL NON GOLDEN CONTEXT#// you could even go through the drama cds and see how genuine of an adachi he is like seriously forget the golden era and fanservice#// get bancho out of the equation and think about who is right now at that moment#// okay i’m tired now i’ll stop here but i wish people could just enjoy adachi more without the sentiment hes a fuckable antagonist#// dont romanticize his emptiness and hate for the world Like That but rather as human as he already is before you learn he’s a pawn for god#// adachis a special character to me genuinely i wish i could talk about him more often if i didn’t have chronic Not Like Other Girls diseas#// such a fun brain excercise sometimes just wish that i wasn’t poisoned by fandom and that fact they gave him a rep like this that makes me#// so embarrassed or even ashamed to say his name out loud and admit i like him#// LIKE close your eyes and forget hes the villain and he’s the murderer just look at him and think how and why he’s a fucked up guy underne#// underneath the goofball facade he pulls. now think and wonder how much of a genuine goofball he is#// it’s like thinking about ichinose except everyone else is a mysoginist that’s why they take don’t take her seriously#// okay adachi tag most used tag blogger is signing out goodnight guys mwa
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total-drama-takes · 1 year ago
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hello i will be taking a break of unknown length (like. a few days probably. ill have to be back for tti. actually i could have just not said anything. anyway) due to sha-mental health sha-problems i cannot be here rn <3 think of lightning for me
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purring-tiefling · 2 years ago
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mgfdfgjpiopph hbh
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blastadiamond · 2 years ago
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Oops the terfs are mad at me because I called them friendless & unbearable :( but like the only thing they can latch onto my blog to try and make me feel bad is that it says in my bio I’ve been here for 15 years lol, babes sorry but that won’t goad me into interacting with y’all this is my silly little media escape website. you don’t survive so long on this hell site without being able to curate your experience and just cause I made one post complaining about y’all and tagged it so people that have terf blacklisted don’t have to see it, doesn’t mean I’m open to discussion hope that helps 😘 I actually have no interest in talking with y’all so don’t expect me to respond to you or answer your asks ✌️
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hazbinbabbling4ever · 9 months ago
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It's almost as if ace people also want to look cute and don't have a moral obligation to dress like a mormon elementary school teacher (unless that's the vibe they want) just because they're ace?? It's almost as if ace people might want to dress cute by highlighting the parts they like about themselves and it doesn't have to be sexual at all... Like, I like to highlight my waist and people have said I'm dressing too "sexily" and "attention seeking" for someone who's not interested in flirting around. Like??? Can't a woman just dress in peace now? It's almost as if women/femme presenting/androgynous/any identity even remotely feminine-looking, all of us are burdened by preset rules and preconceptions, like "if you show this and cover that you're sEnDiNg A mEsSaGe". No Karen, I just want to exist and look cute in my clothes at the same time, there's no hidden agenda in my heels or in my synced waist, stop reading into everything.
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The outfit
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So if someone is asexual they have dress like a nun or something???
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movedto-mrs-bluemarine · 2 months ago
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"gonna go check the Edgeworth tag" "damn Edgeworth tag is full of fucking wright/worth"
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omotelie · 2 months ago
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WHERE’S MY FUKING CAPO
#my post#funny#relatable#guitar#music#bjork#wait you can only have 30 tags the joke is much less funny if i don’t have a fucking wall of the stuff i guess i’ll just make this one reall#and 140 characters per tag this is stifling my creativity meh i was running out of popular tags anyway bjork’s not that popular of a tag tho#tbh i was running out of inspiration after like the 4 tag this joke was not meant to be at least not by my hand and i guess it wasn’t that f#unny either i cooled down real fast on that one you know what i’m pivoting this is no longer popular tags just my train of thought for as lo#ng as i feel like it the first few one might not even make sense when i’m done but who cares not me clearly it is quite annoying how i can’t#use commas tho make’s this harder to read than it needs to any way i lost my capo for like the third time my desk isn’t even that messy but#don’t know where else i would’ve put it it’s not lying on any of my instruments either i probably put it quote somewhere i would remember un#quote but clearly i didn’t i’m usually very good at remembering where i put things put the capo is the zone in between i use this often and#i use this every other year so i never remember where it is stored it is 1 am so i guess i’m going to bed soon anyway but still this is goin#g to annoy me until tomorrow i don’t even need it right i’ve had to remove so many tags the original joke barely makes sense anymore i’m kee#ping bjork tho you can pry her out of my cold dead hands not that i really listen to her music or know her i just like saying her name i’ts#got good mouth feel and it’s fun to spell i didn’t realize how long filling 30 tags would be what’s 140 times 30 let me look it up 4200 this#makes this post my biggest project by like 3000 words the only time i’ve written any meaningful lengths of texts was in college and i’m a dr#opout what 4200 characters not words silly little me makes a lot more sense now that i think about it i’m getting tired of writing so this m#ay end soon i would like to not go to bed at 4 am for a silly little post 2 people are going to read plus i am running out of ideas of thing#s to write i am very much not a writer writing scares me even writing lyrics for songs terrifies me i’ve only manage to write lyrics for one#without getting too self conscious and imploding but i’m better at writing songs with vocals i’ve never had anyone to write music with and w#ithout the ability to sing or write lyrics it’s been difficult the singing has been more or less remedied with synth v but the puter can’t w#rite lyrics for meso until i get a lyricist friend i will have to toughen up you can’t make art without making yourself known to those who c#onsume it but lyrics and poetry has always been 1 step too far for me tbh i’d rather spontaneously combust rather than let people know me i#do not look at my very numerous in stars and time posts and reblogs they are completely unrelated to this don’t think about it oh look behin#d you there’s a distraction oh you’ve missed it i have been writing this for half an hour and i am getting so sick of it i revealed informat#ion about the inner machinations of my mind i have not done this since last time i saw a therapist 5 years ago this is fucked up what a self#impose writing challenge can do to you luckily this is the last tag i’m doing lucky me well this was fun this is going to end suddenly so do
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nomairuins · 3 months ago
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and also it doesnt even matter if i miraculously get a job tmrw bc we don't have a car . and im too out of shape to walk anywhere bc everything is far away . so i genuinely dont jnow what to do
#im not smart or talented or hot enough to have a source of income working from home.#i dont have a ged or a kicense or a way to get to work or much experience + ive got a steadily fucking growing gap in my employment history.#And i have essentially 0 social skills i barely Function half the time im dissociated or just crying. im weak and out of shape and#not pretty im like. unhireable i think . and again even if a place did hire me I dont have a way to fucking get 2 work#i might be able to walk 2 a place if i had been at work for a while bc if be more used to being on my feet and active again. its take a#while and id be in a Lot of pain but like. itd be doable. and once i worked for s bit i could get lyfts even tho Expensive also idk that#there as many drivers here. and wtvr. but if i did that itd be Less money to help my family and less money to save up toget my own place and#atp maybe its selfish of me to want my own place and i need to judt be more grateful im allowed 2 stay here . yk#idk. im so tired i just need like. idk. ik the only way is to just get through it and get a job and make it work but it feels so pointless#everything always does. i cant keep getting over hurdles man im so fucking tired of getting through hurdles#every single day is Difficult and every single day is the Same and any time j manage to have a good day ill just go right back to feeling#exactly the same. and even if it looks like everythings better for a bit it all goes back down eventually and ik im supposed to be like But#itll get better again after that <3 ups and downs are a part of life <3 we have to have the bad to appreciate the good <3 im just fucking#sick of the goddamn bad im fucking sick of it ive had enough bad i want good. ik other ppl deserve it more i want everybody to have good#days and be safe and happy i don't want things to keep getting worse but everything just gets worse and all the good parts r tempirary and#im so tired. I am not your strongest soldier bro !!!#idk. i just want to be atable i dont need anything crazy i just want my family to live comfortably and to have enough money that i can#donate i rly donot need much i dont need that much food 2 survive i dont need a ton of space i dont need a nide house i like. i just want to#be Stable and know that everything will be ok. yk. at least 4 my family i want them all to be able to eat and the bills 2 be paid and#hopefully for lamp and the kids 2 go to college. bc lamp and tag both want to go to college and itsy is 6 so he soesnt care#but i want them to be able to so bad bc i can't and i ws never gonna be able to and i dont get to be whiny abt that but like. they want to#and theyre smart and passionate and like. i want them to be able to achieve their dreams and get to have normal lives and be fulfilled and#happy. yk. idk. annie showed me her schoolwork the other day and since it wa first week at like. an alt school it ws a lot of personality#type stuff and mental health stuff and im not gonna get into it bc its not mine to tell but. their answers for one of the things made me so#upset bc it sounded so much like me when i was their age and even now and it makes me feel so guilty that like. i didnt make it better for#them. im the one whos supposed to endure it and then theyre supposed to get to be happy but im too fuckinf weak nowadays and i can't keep#any of them safe or happy and i feel so insanely useless. i hate it i just want to be useful idc anymore like. i want to be good i want to#be helpful i want to be cared abt and its so selfish bc a part of me is like. Ohh wahhh we shouldnr have to do all that to be cared abt wahh#and its dumb bc Yes i do its my job. it just fucking sucks rn bc like i have all the like. sorrow over this being what i have to do and this#is my lot in life but i also have all the guilt over how im not doing it bc km lazy and selfish and i cant just work bc im . Ugh
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