#barbie the orchid doll

[pinkfai]

Source : fashionfairytale21 on Instagram 🩷

[deluluwrites]

Florist!Barbie x Ken

✨Part 2

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Once upon a time in the colorful world of BarbieLand, there was a lovely Barbie named Florist Barbie. She had her own little flower shop, “Blooms and Petals," filled with beautiful blossoms of all colors and varieties.

Every day, the doll inhabitants of BarbieLand would come to her shop to buy flowers for their loved ones, and Florist Barbie would take pride in arranging the most enchanting bouquets for them.

Unlike the other Barbie dolls, Florist Barbie had a unique passion for flowers, and her shop was known for its enchanting arrangements and delightful fragrances.

However, there was something that set her apart from the rest of the Barbies in town - there was a hint of sadness in her eyes because, unlike many other Barbies, she didn't have a Ken of her own.

Every day, like clockwork, Stereo Ken strolled into "Blooms and Petals" to buy a bouquet for Stereo Barbie, the girl of his dreams.

Florist Barbie couldn't help but feel a pang of longing whenever she saw them together, as she secretly harbored feelings for Stereo Ken.

Stereo Ken was dashing, with his perfectly coiffed hair and chiseled features. He came to “Blooms and Petals” every morning to buy flowers for Stereo Barbie.

Every morning as Stereo Ken walked into her shop. She'd watch him carefully as he perused the blooms, helping him choose the most meaningful flowers that he believed would win Stereo Barbie's heart.

Florist Barbie's stomach would flutter uncontrollably as she admired Ken from afar, secretly pining for his affection. She knew she could never reveal her feelings, for she feared it would ruin their friendship and Ken's admiration for her floral expertise.

Despite her own longing for him, Florist Barbie couldn't resist helping him. She knew she was trapped in a bittersweet situation where she had to be the silent supporter of his romantic pursuit.

One day, Stereo Ken entered the shop, looking a bit troubled. "Hey, Barbie," he greeted her with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Hey, Ken, What brings you in today?" she replied with a warm smile. “I need your help," Ken admitted, glancing around the shop nervously. "I want to get the perfect flowers for Barbie today. I've been trying so hard to win her heart, but I just feel like I'm not good enough for her."

Florist Barbie's heart sank, "Ken, you are an amazing person," she said sincerely, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You are kind, thoughtful, and caring. Anyone would be lucky to have you."

Ken sighed, "I don't know. Barbie is so perfect, and I feel like I can never measure up to her expectations." Florist Barbie felt a mix of sympathy and frustration.

She wanted to tell him that he deserved someone who appreciated him for who he was, but she couldn't reveal her true feelings. Instead, she focused on helping him find the perfect flowers for Barbie.

"Let's pick out some flowers with special meanings," she suggested, leading him through the shop. "How about these roses? They represent love and admiration, which perfectly captures your feelings for Barbie."

Ken nodded, his face brightening a little. "That sounds good. What else?" Florist Barbie went to another display, “Oooh! Lilies, represent purity and devotion, which can be perfect if you want to show your sincerity.”

She went to another display and picked some more flowers, “Or these Orchids could signify beauty and admiration, which is an ideal choice to convey your admiration for her grace. And then, there are the sunflowers, symbolizing warmth and happiness, a great way to express the joy she brings into your life."

Ken listened intently to her words, nodding slowly. "Those are all wonderful choices, Barbie. But you know what I just realized? Aren't all these your favorite too?"

Florist Barbie blushed, unable to hide her secret any longer. "Well, yes, they are," she admitted, her voice a soft whisper. "I find beauty and meaning in all of them. But enough about me, let's focus on helping you choose the perfect bouquet for Barbie."

They continued their search, and Florist Barbie carefully selected a bouquet that conveyed love, admiration, sincerity, warmth, and happiness, hoping that Stereo Barbie would see the depth of Ken's affection.

As Ken hurriedly gathered the bouquet, he turned to Florist Barbie with a grateful smile. "Thanks for all your help, Barbie. I don't know what I would have done without you. You're such a good friend."

Florist Barbie's heart sank as she forced a weak smile in return. "You're welcome, Ken. I'm glad I could assist you. I hope Barbie loves the flowers."

Ken nodded enthusiastically, seemingly oblivious to the turmoil within Florist Barbie's heart. "I'm sure she will. They're perfect, just like you always say."

With that, he dashed out of the flower shop, leaving Florist Barbie standing there, feeling the weight of heartbreak and unrequited love.

She watched him go, struggling to keep her composure, "That's what I do, Barbie," she sighs whispering to herself, forcing a smile. "I help others find happiness even if it's not with me."

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The next day, BarbieLand was buzzing with excitement as Stereo Barbie announced she was hosting a Big Blowout Party.

Florist Barbie was attending the event, feeling a mix of excitement and sadness. She chatted with her friend Allan, who could see the longing in her eyes whenever Ken was mentioned.

Ken approached them, looking anxious. "Hey, Barbie. Allan. Can I talk to you for a moment?" Allan looked at Florist Barbie curiously. "Sure, Ken. What's on your mind?" Florist Barbie tried to appear composed, even though her heart was racing as she replied almost instantly.

"I'm thinking of asking Barbie(Stereo) to dance tonight. Do you think she'd say yes?" he asked, nervously running his hand through his perfectly coiffed hair and scratching his neck nervously.

“Well I think-“ Allan begins wanting to give his buddy advice but Florist Barbie musters smile and interrupts. "Absolutely, Ken. You should go for it! I'm sure she'd love to dance with you."

Ken thanks them giving Florist Barbie his wine goblet joining the dance floor leaving Florist Barbie feeling a mixture of happiness for him and deep sorrow within herself.

Allan, seeing her distress, took her aside. "Barbie, you can't keep this to yourself any longer. You need to tell Ken how you feel."

She sighs throwing the goblet behind her, "I can't, Allan. It's too painful. I'll only end up losing his friendship too."

Allan placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "You deserve to be happy too, Barbie. You never know how Ken might feel about you if you don't confess. Take a chance, or you'll always wonder what could have been."

Despite Allan's words, Florist Barbie left the party heartbroken. She found solace near a shimmering pink water fountain. Sitting alone, she felt a deep pain in her heart as she stared at her reflection in the plastic water.

Suddenly, to her shock, a human-like tear trickled down her porcelain cheek. "What is happening to me?" she wondered in astonishment. Shocked, she touched her face, wondering how such a thing was possible. Little did she know that her genuine emotions and the depth of her feelings had brought her to life in a way she had never experienced before.

Part 2….?

[eveningdreams8]

I figured out where all the micro bjd were coming from (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤ and grabbed these girls! they are Doubaozi Doll/luladoll Douxiaoman and Douxingxing i will need to label who is who before i forget ;;; they came in absolutely adorable bunny tins and an extra pair of blank eyes you can make your self

I wanted 2 child dolls to go with my own 1/12 doll Orchid but considering how long it's taking me to finish and not feeling particularly exited about the prospect of spending another decade to sculpt some 1/12 child sized bjd i am more then happy with these!

Dusty (orientdoll so-ye, a short lived offshoot of leekee I think it was?) is the same size as a pukipuki, the former champion of smallest bjd you could get, for all those old times collectors who know what size that is and a barbie for size comparison

And here is one of them sitting in a mini brands purse

[barbiemoviemerch]

Blushing orchid bride Barbie (not a Barbie movie doll but she’s one of the coolest in my collection because she’s made of porcelain)

[cosmicanger]

Janet Henry

Ritual, 1982-1983

Mixed-media installation with a doll of Lieutenant Uhura from Star Trek with the makeup removed, wearing a Barbie robe, socks with slippers, and scarf; miniatures of a fan, books, camera, apples, cheese, shells and starfish, wooden chair, benches, stools, baskets, pots, watering can, gardening tools, staghorn fern, orchids, philodendron, gesneriads, rabbit's foot ferns, night-blooming cereus, cacti, serrated-leaf plant, oval-leaf plant, crassula, Boston fern, Easter cactus, and a palm 20¼ × 20½ × 15¾ in.

[crazyyanderefangirlfan]

Tira Columbina

Her hair

Her face

"I'm a doll alright, but I'm either a Barbie or an Annabelle. Depends on how you treat me."

Character Profile

Name: Tiramisù Psyche Columbina

Nicknames: Tira (by everyone), Apricot head, Principessa (By Gelato, Illuso and Formaggio) Woman (Ghiaccio), Dolcezza (by Melone), Bedda (by Risotto). Sweetie Baby, Darlin, Sugar, Honey, Pumpkin, Angel (all by Formaggio.) Barbie girl.

Ti (by La Squadra) Tesoro, Amore, Amore Mia, Bambola bambina, Gattina, Bellissima, Cara, Cucciola, Coniglietta (all by La Squadra). Sis, Big sister, Little sister (by her brothers). Puppet master, Puppeteer, The Jill-of-all trades (herself), Tomboy. The Doll of La Squadra Esecuzioni.

Race: Human

Age: 24

Gender: Female

Appearance: Tira has apricot orange back-length hair with two cat ear like buns, two strands frame her face, orchid purple eyes and a petite build. She stands 153 cm and has freckles freckles covering her body.

Clothing: She wears a black lace up bustier top with ribbon straps, the front has white rose design on the center, and pink gradient asymmetrical ballet skirt. Underneath she wears black spandex shorts, black thigh highs with bridal garters and black ankle strap ballet flats. She usually wears a pink cardigan over her outfit and silver small hoop earrings.

Personality: Tira is a joyful, independent person who enjoys little things like dolls and small animals. She moves to her own beat and passionate of her hobbies, one example is practicing her ballet on roof tops for better balance.

Tira is a highly kind, outgoing person who sees the best in everyone while remaining objective enough to recognize both their shortcomings and strengths. She is kind to everyone she meets, and is generally sympathetic.

Tira maintains an affectation of grace and innocence, both as the way she was raised and uses it as a shield to get her opponents to lower their guard with her. Once people get to know her well enough, Tira is a fearless, extremely adept stand user who typically uses her opponents like marionettes beneath the careful presentation of ladylike demeanor.

Tira has demonstrated that she is a complex individual as a result of growing up with ten brothers, each of them had a distinctive personality. As a result, she can easily speak with any of them and assist them in their daily tasks. She's often called 'tomboy' due to having masculine traits despite behaving extremely feminine.

Tira takes every challenge extremely seriously and is results-driven because she is used to friendly rivalry in her family. Her determination and stubbornness are to be feared when someone faces her. She's rational and keeps a calm under pressure, no matter how much it is.

Despite her sweet and good-naturedness, she can be absolutely vicious if any of her loved ones are in danger or if she gets to be mistaken for a child. Another way to get on her bad side is to trying to steal or destroy her doll collection.

She's one of the few people who are not afraid of La Squadra Esecuzioni, never afraid to keep them in check. Even slapping them in the back of their heads, she also loves to tease them.

Nationality: Italian and Greek.

Languages spoken: Italian, Greek, French, Spanish, Russian and English.

Items: Owns two rapiers and cat brass knuckles.

History:

Favorite Movie: The Blair Witch Project, Child's Play and The Turning Point.

Favorite Song: Are You Satisfied? and How To Be a Heartbreaker.

Favorite Food: Tiramisu, Strawberries and cream, Baklava, Saganaki, and Casoncelli.

Other?:

Has a collection of dolls, ranging from porcelain to Barbies.

She took up fencing and Taekwondo after completing her ballet and sometimes fuses them together. She's also good in boxing and Greco-Roman and freestyle wrestling.

She likes to buy old dolls and give them makeovers. She even as a day shop in selling them.

She's skilled in lockpicking and able drop her pulse to zero (but only for 60 seconds).

She preforms puppet opera and sometimes entertains the children in the park.

She is the middle child of ten brothers, her family owns an inn in Santorini.

Ironically loathes the Aqua's Barbie.

Is surprisingly strong and fast for her stature.

Able to make smoke and stinks bombs. Notably skilled in making cherry bombs.

Has survival skills thanks to her grandfather.

She's both business and psychology. She also became La Squadra's unpaid therapist.

It's possible that half of the dolls she owns are haunted.

Her hair is often used as a pillow whenever La Squadra is out.

All her brothers are named after Greek heroes

She's a doll and plushie maker, and made dolls of La Squadra. Speaking of which, the boys work at her store as the pay was good and they get free left over snacks.

Her first name came from the Lover of Eros, her middle from a dessert and her surname came from Commedia dell'arte

Stand Profile

Stand Name: Marina

Stand Type: Close-range stand

Ability: Her main ability is to use blood to control the motor functions of others against their will as if they were a marionette. She has the ability to propel her victims across short distances as well as lift and hold them in the air. Tira can also crush or interfere with a victim's internal organs, as well as to temporarily knock numerous persons out of their senses.

When using Electra Heart, Marina can direct the blood flow through particular areas of the body. She has to get nearer to her target, they start to vomit and choke on their own blood, and claw themselves to the point of peeling off their skin. At worse, their ribcages pop out, breaking apart and tearing their flesh and give a view of their heart and lungs, their heart pump so fast they literally explode and soon the rest of the organs follow.

Her sub-skill is that she's able to heal or regenerate others by just using hers or their blood. Major injuries require her own blood to ensure proper healing.

Appearance: A beautiful Victorian porcelain doll. She has black hair styled in loose ringlets held by a black and red feather headpiece and blue eyes and wearing red lipstick. She wears a red lace up midi corset Victorian dress with black outlines and black ruffles on the bottom, black low-heeled shoes and a black and red choker. Has an unnerving smile when attacking.

Personality: Mostly silent and still but maternal and affectionate to Tira and those close to her. She likes to do domestic chores, finding the mundaneness of it relaxing, but will slap anyone if they become sexist about it.

True to her appearance, she behaves in a polite, dignified, and graceful way. She likes to orderly and neat, keeping her and Tira constantly groomed and dislikes messes, notably from La Squadra.

She can be ruthless if Tira is threatened, albeit calm and calculated, and likes to play pranks if feeling mischievous. Her favorite targets are Formaggio and Ghiaccio.

Stats

Destructive Power: A

Range: C (5-15 METERS)

Speed: B

Durability: B

Precision: B

Development Potential: A

Stand Cry: She just giggles

Other?:

Her name came from MARINA or Marina and the Diamonds.

She likes to him jump scare the team except Risotto and Prosciutto.

Tira and Melone likes to dress her up.

She likes to style Tira's hair.

Marina uses puppet strings as whips.

[coreysdolladventures]

Time to do a new intro post as the other one is kinda bothering me so!!

I go by Lorelei, Korie, or Corey so any nickname of those I'm fine with. I use he/him they/them pronouns and am an aroflux pansexual. I'm 29 and have been into AG since I was about 10, Barbie since I was like 3, and I just like aesthetics of other dolls and other toys.

I use to work for AG at the temporary Las Vegas locations from Oct 2015 to Mar 2016. I do love to talk about it so please send me any questions if you have any.

My AG collection currently includes American Girl of Today #4 named Dani, PC Felicity, Kirsten, Samantha, and Nellie. Non PCs I have are Rebecca, Lea (who is now an OC named Hope), Luciana, Nanea, and JLY # 56 named Ali (like alley). I also have Wellie Wisher Willa who is going to be an OC.

My other 18 inchers are the Cinderella inspired Disney ily4ever doll named Orchid and the Tinkerbell inspired Disney ily4ever doll named Tori. I also have the Our Generation Theodore doll (who is mini me) and a Paloma Our Generation from Goodwill.

Barbie collection wise, I have too many fashionistas out of the box, but in boxes, I have the Wedding Party Midge Gift Set (1990), Toy Story 2 Tour Guide Barbie, Teen Talk Barbie (1991), Winter's Eve Barbie (1994), and Happy Family Pregnant Midge and Baby (2002).

I also collect Rainbow High, Bratz, LOL OMG dolls, Disney Creator dolls, and anything that I can get my hands on.

I have a collection of lots of Snow White stuff as well which includes dolls.

[bandstolookup]

* arlie

* dreamliners

* nikki and the corvettes

* honey ltd.

* the shades

* the contessas

* the crystals

* dillon warnek

* slenderbodies

* pigeons playing ping pong

* George Ducas*

* throwing back sunday

* Whitney Duncan* ()

* promoting sounds

* the biltmores

* playing heroes

* DVDA

the sundance kids

motionless in white

verjault

lincoln

voice of god

rogue

lemon demon

eli josef

joe barnhill

les baxter

blue envy

blake babies

charles emanuel

sebadoh

les baxter, his orchestra and chorus

beau dommage

gilbert bécaud

the aislers set

the ladybug transistor

belinda

the quiet loud

rollerball duo

the julie ruin

belouis some

superchunk

ben's brother

john berry

moe shop

frank turner

built to spill

bigbang

cilla black

mission of burma

jaded juice raiders

jeffrey lewis

galaxie 500

cayetana

the amps

shonen knife

thinking fellers union local 282

cloud nothings

jeanne black

strange ranger

uncle tupelo

meat puppets

magazine

stereolab

helium

the gits

gang of four

fiREHOUSE

twin peaks

tom rush

r. ring

silence is broken

porno for pyros

charles manson

the shaydes

the evens

leon russell

liz phair

the gerbils

mirah

screaming females

narrow head

the olivia tremor control

captain beefheart

grass widow

eyedress

pipes you see, pipes you don't

the essex green

the pastels

the apples in stereo

lifers

sprr00w

bags

ride

the magnetic fields

elf power

indigo de souza

nick drake

vashti bunyan

the jam

pinhead gunpowder

electrelane

the clean

the vaselines

heaven hill

the specials

suburban lawns

orange juice

jonatan leandoer96

paul baribeau

the modern lovers

heatmiser

uranium club

boys life

bangs

discount

more to monroe

velocity girl

grandaddy

rites of spring

the sunshine fix

the frosted ambassador

fraxiom

your demise

the bats

the glands

komeda

the spits

paces

blaque alex

the dixie narcos

dayliites

health club

mudhoney

nihilist cheerleader

PJ harvey

hands of gretel

new bloods

mecca normal

otoboke beaver

hire the puppets

amyl and the sniffers

vivien goldman

nobunny

neo boys

the tammy's

the last resort

the struts

yelle

playing heroes

paul bartolome

fleetwood gold

priests

big mama thornton

andy seagrave

dominic fike

the blue poptarts

VIAL

anti cimex

KONTAMINATE

fea

the devotchkas

G.L.O.S.S.

x ray spex

passenger of change

blue delta

sean cosgrove

dakota striplin

lowfye50

kella sin

venom

emily's sassy lime

pussy riot

naked aggression

cibo matto

belly

slant 6

excuse 17

ex hex

heavens to betsy

babes in toyland

red aunts

skating polly

L7

the slits

bush tetras

kleenex

the raincoats

white lung

the downtown boys

lunachicks

voodoo queens

tribe 8

lady pills

partyline

team dresch

skinned teen

tacocat

medeski martin & wood

scruft

calamity jane

childbirth

barb wire dolls

skinny girl diet

the butchies

northlake

dazey and the scouts

7 year bitch

the sugarcubes

melkbelly

rpwl

face to face

primo!

alright, goodnight.

indigo girls

fred mascherino

the holy mess

k light

elephanttalk

IGORRR

driver friendly

the radio department

i9bonsai

the living tombstone

hexproof

soul machine

fiston mbuyi

goodrich family band

appetite for voltage

the durbulence

nick shoulders

parsnip

broadcast

cold cold hearts

upon the water

kingdom of dana

jimmy reed

the gama sennin

murray

guytano

the ordinary things

the monsoon

alan turing

dead daisies

young marble giants

essential logic

HRVRD

i the mighty

jonah matranga

dream nails

the killer barbies

girls at our best!

starrats

racoon

the bbb's

tiger trap

alvarez masterminded

young signorino

dead heart bloom

tiger mountain

ephermal rift

life on repeat

lume

matt pryor

modern life is war

museum mouth

giovanni bononcini

northern faces

olympia

OWEL

places and numbers

pretty & nice

rewod

tonoso

The Whooliganz

Soul Assassins

Gangrene

step Brothers

the snake the cross the crown

therefore i am

firebug

slayyyter

rusty dusty

this patch of sky

time in malta

trial

understand

upgrade hiphop

delta 5

slutever

sharp violet

vaux

wild orchid children

wind in sails

fly havana

youinseries

local operator

boysetsfire

brent walsh

burn

the wldlfe

cane hill

cinematic sunrise

crawdiddies

closure in moscow

plutonian maximalist

5head

coldfront

goodbye tomorrow

hands tied

hot cross

household

hussey

crwn

wayne rogers

cherie torrie

idlehands

killing flame

liars academy

LIMBS

man will surrender

kombat

sevendaysofnight

merriment

mozart season

nowHere

ORBS

chris trapper

perma

prema

prevent falls

refuse to fall

rising fawn

secret space

snapcase

tallhart

texas in july

super jesus jackson

voyce memos

the dear & departed

the hope conspiracy

the rocking horse winner

the stryder

arlo parks

the five satins

lungleg

leopard print taser

cherry glazerr

the frumpies

tweens

the muffs

kraftwerk

betty blowtorch

bread and circuses

karthik

THICK

baby guts

static dress

veruca salt

dump him

thievery corporation

potty mouth

marine girls

gina young

chris bloom

partyline

audio influx

the donnas

mika miko

clit kat

the coathangers

bruce wiegner

the downsides

eric church

be well

too close to touch

erase eratta

cibo matto

twompsax

kitten forever

have a nice life

cub

jack off jill

adickdid

calling all captains

g7taiwanband

period pains

the peechees

scarling.

toad the wet sprocket

every scar has a story

flume

crooked colours

the avalanches

pink siifu

jack stark

naomi punk

lalleshwari

void

AmaLee

yui

senses fail

lala lala

ludus

agent orange

asian kung-fu generation

gesaffelstein

strawberry switchblade

christian death

robert palmer

iced

peel dream magazine

john newman

miss june

gulch

tanya donelly and the parkington sisters

zero boys

gord downte

swirlies

bully

i tried to run away when i was 6

bury your face in my neck nose and all

shopping

katastrophy wife

daisy chainsaw

Modern Nations

bartees strange

the psychedelic aliens

fred costello

3RACHA

VIXX

Joshua Bassett

everet almond

hollow coves

hed planet earth

q tip the abstract

american hi-fi

olivia rodrigo

trickster figures

handsome jack

louie duffelbags

danger incorporated

me + L

e ø

crooked north

pandora's asylum

KiDDPiNK

Shannon Ferguson

minutemen

zamuel

highbeams

rascals

dandy lions

dante de leo

locke aizen

russian village boys

jack britten

VAR

VOILÀ

lightenvy

flechaus

joshrassic park

foxhedge

astrology now

[jjbakaloskaiagathos]

Can I have Trish for the 57 questions please? Thank you!

Hello @ohnonotanotherjojoblog! Thank you so much for your request, we are really grateful for this! Here is the interview with Trish, finally! 💗💅🏻

Guys, if you want an interview with someone, you will be able to write to our ask box! Enjoy!

- Love, K&S ❤️

57 Questions with Trish Una 🛍 | Kalos Kai Agathos

S: Wow, her house doesn’t look like a mansion from the video “Barbie Girl” by Aqua.

K: There is a chance that it’s pink inside... Hi Trish! We’re here to ask you 57 questions.

T: Hello girls! Come in, the Sun is bad for your skin.

1. Show your most expensive dress.

T: It’s a dark one.

2. What is it?

T: Versace.

3. Which style do you prefer: Grange or Lolita?

T: Lolita.

4. Who taught you techniques of self-defence?

T: My mom was ill and she asked me to enroll in a course. She worried that I could get into trouble.

5. What is your daily ritual?

T: A glass of water with a slice of the lemon every morning.

6. Fingernails: long or short?

T: Length doesn’t matter you have to have a manicure.

7. What will you name your cat?

T: Chanel.

8. What will you name your dog?

T: Prada.

9. What is your favourite colour?

Т: Exuberant Pink SW 6840.

10. What creative photoshoot do you want?

T: A photo shoot like Lady Gaga’s.

11. What photos do you keep in your wallet?

Т: I use plastic cards.

12. What three things do you keep in your bag?

T: A Chanel powder, a small bottle of antiseptic and Dior sunglasses.

13. Show your photo where you’re a child and describe it.

T: It’s me when I was 6. It was taken by my mom. Look: I’m holding a frog here!

14. /Narancia face times/ Hey, Trish, I know that you asked me to call in to Alexander McQueen’s but I lost my way and I found McDonald’s! Do you want some cheeseburgers?

T: No, I don’t, Narancia. Come back home... and buy me some shrimps.

15. What song makes you dance?

T: Wannabe by Spice Girls.

16. Sing a song.

T: 🎵 Yeah, it feels so good to be so young

And have this fun and be successful, yeah

I’m so successful, yeah

And, girl, you too, you are so young

And beautiful and so successful, oh, whoa, yeah

I’m so successful 🎵

17. What do you want saying to Giorno?

T: I understand how is it: I mean, to bear the burden of your own father’s actions.

18. Who did you want to be when you was a child?

Т: A pop-star.

19. What is your favourite TV show?

Т: “America’s Next Top Model”.

20. What is your favourite Italian food?

T: Bruccellati.

21. What is your favourite actor?

T: Ryan Gosling.

22. What are you scared of?

T: I’m scared of airplanes after the accident with Notorious B.I.G.

23. What is your favourite series?

T: “Sex and the City”.

24. What is your favourite character?

T: Carrie Bradshaw. I love her style.

25. What is the best man for Carrie?

Т: Obviously, Mr. Big.

26. What is your favourite member of “Spice Girls”?

T: Victoria Beckham.

27. What is the best example for the “ideal family”?

T: The Beckhams.

28. Have you ever been in Victoria Beckham’s shop?

T: I was at the grand-opening celebration of this.

29. What is your favourite fashion era?

T: 90s.

30. What is your favourite music video?

Т: 7 Rings by Ariana Grande.

31. Is Mista still stinky?

Т: No, he isn’t because I gave him a shower gel as a Christmas present.

32. Have you ever done a make-up for anyone in the gang?

Т: I have done a make-up for Narancia. He was so cute.

33. Who shares fashion as a hobby with you?

T: Leone.

34. You would like to sing with…

T: Little Mix.

35. What is your favourite music band?

Т: One Direction.

36. What myth do you want to ruin?

Т: There is a myth that female friendship doesn’t exist. It’s bollocks.

37. What is your favourite current trend?

Т: Feminism.

38. What is a real “anti-trend” for you?

T: The clothes from a natural leather.

39. If you did charity work, what would it be?

T: I would like to help single mothers because I know how difficult it was for my mother.

40. What phrase can describe you?

Т: “Bring the promise of “Vogue”.

41. What is your favourite model?

Т: Trish Goff. She inspired me to do this hairdo.

42. Do you have any analogue of “16 and Pregnant”?

Т: “15 and Successful”.

43. What is your TV-crush?

Т: Dale Cooper, he is caring and… he reminds me someone.

44. Imagine that you’re at the party. What beverage would you prefer?

Т: The bottle of Perrier.

45. What is your favourite brand?

T: I suppose… “Barbie”!

46. Why?

Т: Have you seen their new collection of dolls, connected with body positivity? It’s amazing!

47. What music do you prefer?

Т: BABYMETAL.

48. What is the latest video which made you laugh?

Т: Tom Holland’s “Umbrella”.

49. What is the strangest habit of Bucci’s gang?

Т: They adore to show their breasts: Buccellati, Giorno, Leone… why?

50. The prettiest bouquet includes…

Т: I prefer something unusual, maybe... orchids?

51. What is your favourite manifestation of art?

Т: Dance.

52. What manifestation of art would you like to try?

T: Dance or cinema.

53. Describe an unpopular opinion.

Т: The latest film about Harley Quinn wasn't bad. I love that she is no longer an “addition” to Joker.

54. Do you like Margot Robbie?

Т: I think she is nice and talented.

55. Do you believe in horoscope?

Т: I’m Gemini that’s why my one side says “yes” and the other says “no” /laughs/

56. What should people do to learn that you are not arrogant?

Т: They need to spend time with me a little bit more.

57. We see this! Did you like the interview?

Т: Of course! Narancia is carrying the shrimps. Stay for dinner!

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Love, Maybe? {14}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Plot, Cursing, Angst

Word Count: 3.9K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. 3 years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

Note: Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Slightly Edited/Proofread**

**Partially Interactive**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤️  ❤️ ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 14: Finding Vixen

 -Vixen-

   “Wow, things are moving quickly.”

   You spun around the construction site the crew was making progress with the space that would be your restaurant. You couldn’t believe in a matter of weeks what was happening.

   “Things move quickly when everything aligns,” Zack responded from behind you. You looked to him and smiled, but as you stared at him, you only saw one face looking back at you. The smile slipped from your lips, and you gulped down the emotion threatening to spill out. Turning your back, you tried your best to pull yourself together.

    “You okay Vixen?”

   Clearing your throat, you nodded as you took a few steps away to what would or could be the spot for the outdoor eating spot. You bit your bottom lip, while a swell of pride and accomplishment fulled you, sadness and a feeling of being overwhelmed flooded you as well. It had been four days since you’d seen Chris, four days since your entire world had come crashing down, four days since the feelings you thought were long gone surfaced again, four days since the encounter you’d always dreaded and planned would go smoothly went the opposite. Sighing you took a deep breath and turned to face Zack, Kassius and the small team that was assembled for your expansion.

 “Are you happy with this so far? Any suggestions?”

   Glancing around you took in the demolition that looked just to have begun. You shook your head.

   “No, this looks to be the beginning nothing much to make suggestions on. I’d like to look at it again once it’s cleared out, just want to make sure everything transitions right.”

   “Absolutely. I’ve seen Giovanni’s in San Fran; I can imagine how particular you are about the visual of your restaurant. As long as we’re on schedule, things should be clear in another day or two,” Timothy one of the members of the team said.

   You nodded and made your way to the front door as everyone else followed. When you stepped out into the LA sun, you placed your sunglasses on your nose. Zack approached beside you and put his hand on the small of your back.

   “Are you sure you’re okay?”

   “Yes, I’m fine. I just haven’t gotten a lot of sleep the last few days, and it’s always a hassle moving in.”

   Zack nodded and slowly rubbed your back. You tried not to shy away from his touch.

   “I can treat you to a relaxing night, dinner, a drink, maybe a massage.”

   He smiled softly, and you felt the genuineness of his offer, but you knew it wasn’t something you were going to pass on. You smiled, hoping to soften the blow.

  “You’re so sweet Zack, I appreciate it, I really do, but since the move, Ella hasn’t gotten back to her regular sleeping schedule I need to focus on her right now. I’m sorry.”

  He looked as if he were trying to swallow the rejection. You hoped he wouldn’t make it a big thing. In all truth, while you liked his company, you really didn’t want to date. You didn’t feel much of anything for anyone, except him. Zack nodded, looked down, and nodded some more.

   “I understand. You’re a mom first. It’s admirable. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not disappointed, but I understand. Just uh—I want you to know that I like you Vixen, I didn’t expect it, but there it is. I would like to get to know you better really try to build something with you.”

   “Uuugh, jeez Vix. What do you say to that?”

   After you looked around you taking notice of how close the others were you decided now wasn’t the right place to let him down. You also didn’t want to lead him on.

   “All right Vixen, so we’re going to schedule another walk through once all demo is done, and we’ll make some decisions. I have a few mocks for you to look over and hopefully by then we’ll have some ideas,” Kassius said.

   “Yes, I’ll look over these.”

   You took the folder that looked thicker than a George A. Romano novel and bugged your eyes out.

  “Good lord.”

   “Yes, a lot of decisions to be made, this is the fun part,” he finished with a broad smile on his face.

   “I’ll see you then. Are you coming, Zack? We’re still on for golf?”

   Zack looked at you and nodded once he realized you weren’t going to respond to his declaration. You were glad your shades were darker than the midnight sky because your eyes weren’t hiding anything.

   “Yeah. I’ll call you,” Zack said before he walked to Kassius and the two walked off to Kassius’ bright red sports car. You nodded your head to the rest of the team and made your way to your rental car.

   You looked into the mirror and shook your head before you started your engine to begin on your to-do list. At the top was picking up some more groceries, then some office supplies and then to pick up some stuff for Ella. You hated the grocery places around the house; they were overpriced for no reason, and the produce never looked fresh. That meant you were going to drive over five miles to get to the supermarket Zack told you about—Gleason’s.

   As you drove your mind drifted back to seeing Chris. The last time you’d seen him, you’d told him to have a nice life. You were pissed and hurt, and it seemed like a good enough thing to say. Shit, you didn’t even know why you were pissed, you brought it on yourself. You were stupid enough to think that there was anything possible between the two of you.

   You should have known better. The way he carried himself, the way he spoke, and dressed it screamed bachelor, screamed down for a good time and nothing more. Every alarm rang off in your head about him the minute you saw him at the table. Everything in you screamed “don’t,” but the other voice in you said, “just do it, it’s Vegas.” Yeah well, “it’s Vegas” turned into a kid and haunting memories. That didn’t change the fact that he was still gorgeous and his shoulders were bigger than ever.

   “Of course he had to be gorgeous. Of course he couldn’t turn ugly or have gained thirty pounds of fat. No, he got sexy as fuck and gained thirty pounds of muscle.”

   You groaned loudly and focused again on the GPS that predicted you’d reach your destination in five minutes. Once you parked in the lot, you roamed the aisles pushing the cart before you.

  “Black tea, herbal tea, coffee, check.” You dropped the items in the cart and went perusing down the next.

   “Rice Krispies, honey bunches of oats, oatmeal, flour, food coloring, sugar, yeast, check.”

   You turned down the refrigerator aisle to scan for eggs, milk, butter, cheese, yogurt, orange juice, coffee creamer, jello, cream cheese, and that disgusting iced coffee drink Nexus loved. With your list about half done you allowed yourself to get distracted in the produce section where they held fresh flowers. You loved fresh flowers. There were pink, red, blue, yellow and even white flowers of all varieties. You decided on two beautiful assortments of pink and yellow roses and a separate one of pink orchids, you loved orchids. Tipping your head down to take a whiff of the fragrant flowers you looked over to the other side of the section and saw the actor Nexus was losing her mind over—Anthony Mackie. Quickly putting the flowers in your cart you made a u-turn to get back on track, you definitely didn’t want a run in.

   Just as you thought you were safe in the bread aisle holding two selections of bread, one you liked and one Ella couldn’t get enough of you you saw him. Your legs thought you had time to make another getaway, but your brain knew better, he saw you too. Anthony approached you with a friendly smile on his face as he tipped his hat lower. You knew it was pointless, but you still turned and rolled out the aisle. As soon as you made it to the soda and water aisle, he was at your side.

   “Vixen right?”

   Sighing, you nodded. “That’s right.”

   “I’m going to say you didn’t see me, that’s why you walked away; otherwise, that was rude.”

   You snorted and shook your head. He had to be kidding.

   “I was trying to protect your incognito look. I’m thinking if these people knew they were walking next to The Falcon himself they’d draw a scene and there goes your disguise. By the way, that’s a horrible disguise.”

   Anthony chuckled and nodded his head.

   “Of course you’re as snarky as your sister. Speaking of, how is she? Is she here?”

   You looked at Anthony as he quickly looked up and down the aisle as if looking for her. Scoffing again you responded, “No, she’s not here. Why does it matter?”.

   “Just curious.”

   “Bullshit!”

   You laughed out loud and pushed the cart further and placed other items in your cart. “I can see right through you. Looks like another one bites the dust.”

   “Another one bites the dust? What does that mean?”

   “It means you’ve been hit with the Nexus haze. Almost every man that speaks to her for any amount of time falls under her spell. You Mr big-time movie star are no different.”

   Anthony smiled and shrugged, but he didn’t look as smug as he usually did, no this time he looked as if he felt threatened as if he were worried. He should be Nexus wasn’t half a woman like these barbie doll actresses and models she was one hundred percent that bitch and she was a force to be reckoned with. The two of you walked in silence for a few feet.

   “So, I learned a fun fact recently. You’d never believe it,” Anthony began.

   “Oh yeah, what fun fact is that?”

   “Three years ago, a woman went to Vegas for some fun and ended marrying Captain America himself.” Your brain failed to communicate with your legs, and you just stopped in the middle of the aisle.

   “He told him. Shit!”

   “But you believe it, because—,” Anthony leaned into your ear and whispered. “You are that woman.”

   You looked to him, unsure what to say. You could deny, deny, deny, but you were sure Chris was the one to tell him. You sighed again.

   “Don’t worry, he’s my best friend, your secret is safe with me.” You walked again and turned down another aisle.

   “Was it shock that had you running like a bat outta hell, or was it something else? Do you hate him?”

   “I hate no one; there is no time for all of that. I have too many things to accomplish.”

  “Okay, a mature one. He lucked out,” Anthony joked. The humor of it was lost on you. You didn’t bother laughing or smiling about it either.

   “It was good seeing you again, take care,” you rushed out as you walked to the cash-out. You didn’t know if you’d gotten everything, but you needed to get out of there. It was insane; every second you spent around him, you felt it was only a matter of time before he saw the truth through your eyes, or seeping from your pores.

   You unloaded the groceries on the belt then saw Anthony help. Rolling your eyes, you stayed quiet.

   “How do you feel about seeing him again after so long?”

   Groaning you turned to him your frustrations seeped out. “What’s it to you? What’s with all the questions? We did what we did, but we also went through with the divorce, it’s all water under the bridge now. No need to keep talking about it.”

   Anthony studied you as you continued to unload the groceries so the cashier could do her job. You were usually good at keeping your emotions in check, but everything was becoming a lot more difficult. You hated it.

   “Whew, that sounds like a lot of hurt and anger, years worth of it. Maybe not so much water under the bridge, huh.” Antony’s eyes bored into you, and you narrowed yours. Anthony nodded again and stepped back.

   “Take care of yourself Vixen. Oh, and could you give your sister a message for me? Tell her I didn’t mean to hurt her, I didn’t plan on it. I was telling her the truth.”

   As quickly as he appeared, he disappeared, allowing you to focus again. You moved as quickly as you could to wrap up the rest of your errands. By the time you made it home, the sun was down, and you had a car full of shit. After thirty minutes of unloading and unpacking, you dropped onto the couch to catch your breath. Ella ran to you, you quickly scooped her up and dropped kiss after kiss across her face. She released an uproar of giggles that made your heart swell.

   “Top, top, top!”

   “No, no, no, take all mommy’s kisses, take them all!”

   Her laughter filled the entire room, and soon, Nexus was beside you holding Ella down as she tickled her small ribs. This only made her wiggle and scream even more. The two of you slowly stopped, and Ella settled down comfortably in your arms, holding tightly to you.

  “Long day?”

   You looked to Nexus and nodded.

   “That’s a big book.”

   “It is, and I have a few more days to look through and find my aesthetic for the next round of meetings. Things are moving fast. Maybe we can be in and out of LA sooner than I thought.”

   Nex gave you a look that said: “be real, aren’t you forgetting something.” You ignored it and flipped through the design pages.

   “Vixen.”

   “What do you think of this one? It’s airy and modern but still has a traditional vibe.”

   Flipping to another page, you have the book your full attention. Seeing another contender, you showed your sister.

   “Ooh, this looks very modern like a real celebrity restaurant. Doesn’t say much to traditional comfort but what the hell step into the times, right.”

   “Vixen!”

   “What!?”

   “You know what,” Nexus exasperated. You shrugged and continued to flip the pages determined not to address what Nex clearly wanted you to.

   “Vixen, you know damn well you can’t leave LA without telling Chris about Ella.” You groaned and rolled your eyes.

   You knew you shouldn’t have told her shit. Now it would be even harder to ignore the shoulds. When you didn’t answer after a few minutes, she took the heavy binder off your lap and placed it on the side table nearest her. Groaning you stood and walked back in the kitchen to busy yourself, hoping it would distract you. You took out the meat for the meatballs you planned on making to accompany the spaghetti—Ella’s favorite. Refusing to take the hint, Nex walked in and crossed her arms before the island. You knew ignoring her would only work for so long, but you were going to milk it for every second you could.

   You took out the flour and the other ingredients to make your signature pasta. Once you opened the fridge to grab some tomatoes and herbs for your sauce and closed the door, you came face to face with Nexus’ annoyed face. You snorted unable to hide your amusement.

   “This isn’t funny Vix. It’s serious and a huge thing. It’s not just your life; you’re impacting. There are two other people, one small who cannot make a decision and the other who--,”

   “Who what Nex? You don’t know him. You don’t know what he’s really like,” you blurted out slamming the cutlery drawer a tad harder than you intended.

    “What the hell does that mean?”

   Again you ignored her and began washing your produce, focusing on getting every invisible speck of dirt. You’d told her the cliff notes version, beginning, middle, then end. You didn’t tell her the in between. You didn’t want to relive it out loud, you were fine keeping it a trip you took every night before you went to sleep. Once the produce was washed, you got to work chopping and dicing. You knew you were stressed because the knife was moving faster than ever and you knew she saw it too.

   “I’m waiting. What does that mean? What is he really like?”

   Kissing your teeth, you shook your head, “Forget it, Nex; it’s not important.”

   “Clearly it is. There has to be a reason why you never told him about her, a reason you never claimed the child support that was rightfully yours. You know you could have used it while you were pregnant and the parts of the first year. Why? Did he hurt you? does he hit women?”

   Nex shifted her stance, and you knew she was ready to pop off. She’d always been your keeper, your protector. You remembered a few girls she’d seriously beat down because they looked at you wrong across the playground. You sighed out, taking a pause with the chopping to give her a reassuring look.

   “No, he didn’t hit me.” You saw her shoulders relax and her expression softening; then you returned to the task at hand.

   “So he didn’t hit you. He did hurt you though.”

   Nexus was no idiot. She knew how to hear what you said and decipher what you didn’t. You did your best to give no reaction as you moved around the kitchen.

   “Okay, I get it. You didn’t tell him to spite him.”

   “No!”

   Though you adamantly rebuked that, part of you felt a way and you wondered if any part of you felt that way.

   “Okay. So he hurt you, you ran back home with your tail tucked, and you hid away for the next near three years. What did he do?”

   “Nex, please. It’s not important. Let’s drop it.”

   “I’m trying to help. You seem to be ignoring or purposely forgetting that you have to tell him. I owe him nothing, and I don’t know him from Adam and my loyalties don’t lie with him that’s with you--,”

   “So drop it. Have my back, be my pitbull!”

   “Vix, don’t ever get it twisted and think I’m not riding for you one hundred. It’s always been you and me against the world, and it’s still that way. Just—this goes past that. This is a morally right and wrong issue. How would you feel not knowing you had a mini replica of you running around the world?”

   “Fine, because I wouldn’t know.” Nexus walked around the island to you and put her arm around you. She could sense your breakdown was imminent. She gently rubbed your bare arm and let the silence fill the room. You closed your eyes, hoping to stop your warring thoughts. Of course part of you knew what she was saying was sound and right, but the other side refused to hear it.

   “You’re afraid,” Nexus worded.

   There it was plain as day, no hidden pretenses, no shade, no covers, just blatant truth. You were afraid. You were shitfaced scared.

   “It’s okay to be scared. There is nothing wrong with it. Hell if you weren’t scared I’d be worried because that would show that you really have no intention of doing the right thing. I know you, Vix, do the right thing is your middle name. Somewhere inside you know you have to tell him, want to or not, have to and should outweigh it this time.”

   “This is why I didn’t want to go to that stupid expo or come to this dumb place. It has a way of stealing and crushing dreams,” you groaned out.

   “Or realigning them and showing you a new, different, better dream.”

   You glanced at Nexus, took a deep breath, and released it. She was right — bottom line.

   “Fuck!”

   ~~~~~~~~~~~~

-Chris-

  415-653-7575.

   It wasn’t hard to get. All he had to do was google her and her location. He had all her information from three years ago. He had her full name, city, state, P.O Box information. In truth, he had everything he needed, and if he needed more, he could easily get more, it was a perk of being him. In all the years he didn’t use it, didn’t search, didn’t allow his curiosity to take over. Today he did.

   It took him less than a minute to find her on Google, her name was uncommon, there was literally one Vixen Giovanni in San Francisco. It took him another minute to find her restaurant. Her restaurant. He was impressed. She said she wanted to open a restaurant and be a chef and she’d accomplished it, and she was successful. He spent nearly twenty minutes just looking through food reviews, articles, and pictures all of her and everything he remembered thinking and feeling those years ago came back.

   He suspected it would be like this—feared it really which made him avoid doing this very thing for so long. He was afraid he was right, and he was. It took him the next hour to get the balls to call the number for her restaurant. An hour where he went over and over what he would say. He didn’t know where you were; it had been nearly a week since he saw you, you could have gone back to San Francisco.

   He went over and over what he would say if you answered. He didn’t know if he should go with a calm and cool introduction; “Hey Vixen, remember me your ex-husband,” or an apologetic one; “I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from but—.” It was impossible to read you from the quick exchange days ago. You hadn’t spoken, you didn’t look angry, or happy or anything, your expression was blank, and then you were gone. He didn’t know what to expect.

   When hour two was near, he bit the bullet and dialed your restaurant. The hostess transferred him to the manager who informed him you were out of town. Due to his quick thinking, he pretended to be interested in a potential business opportunity, it was then the manager gave him your cell phone number. He was surprised it was that easy. Now that was where he was, staring at your number with a bottle of beer on his right side, whiskey on the other and a joint in his hand. He leaned back and took several long puffs before holding them for a breath allowing the drug to haze away all his thoughts. Once he blew out the smoke, he took a long swig of his beer.

   “Jesus Chris, it’s not hard, just dial the number. One step at a time.”

   He took up his phone and punched in the numbers and hovered his finger over the green button, thinking about his actions one last time. Taking another long pull from his joint, he tapped the button and put it on speaker. It rang once, twice, three times and before he tapped the red button to end the call, a voice called out through the line.

   “Hello?”

   His brain froze, and speech did with it, so he sat there completely flustered.

   “Hello? Anyone there?”

   Still, he didn’t speak. Only when the line went dead did he move, he dropped back against the couch and groaned loudly into the night sky.

   “Come on, man!”

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****If the spacing is all messed up I apologize. I copy and past from Word and try to anticipate Tumblr messing up the spacing and fix it but once I push post everything always jumbled out. Sorry guys.

[thebaronmunchausen]

Look, she has hair on her kili-kili! Yecch! Blecch! Ewwww!" I whisper to my four-year-old sister Tisha, who is too busy splashing about in the water with her tiny little hands to care. "Yecch! Blecch! Ewww!" she squeals, followed by a fit of giggles. She’s copying the way I talk again. I don’t think she even knows what I’m talking about. But never mind. She looks so cute in her orange bikini I want to bite her. Tisha hasn’t been listening to me lately. She should, because I’m her Ate, but these days she’s just been such a bad girl. Even Yaya says so. Suwail, she calls Tisha. Last year, in the sandbox in school, when I told her the Family Secret she just kept on shoveling sand into her little yellow pail. She was making a castle for her Princess Barbie doll. "Tisha, I’ll tell you a secret but you promise not to tell, okay?" "Okay." She pressed her little palms to pack the sand into the pail and inverted it onto the ground. "Swear to God? Cross your heart and hope to die?" She crossed her heart with her left hand while patting the roof of her castle with her right. "You know why Mom was crying again last night?" "’Cause she was sad?" "Yeah, but do you know why she was sad?" Tisha just shrugged. She poured some water from her Thermos on her castle to make it more siksik. I wanted to scold her for wasting her cold drinking water but I was too busy telling her the secret. "Dad had a child with another woman! We have a half-brother! His name is Diego!" She didn’t even look at me. She scooped sand again into her yellow pail. Then, she got sand from the pail with her shovel… and put it into her Thermos! Into her drinking water! "Mwahahahahahaha!" she laughed an evil laugh like The Count on Sesame Street. "Sand Juice! With ice! Yum, yum! Want some, Ate Tanya?" She finally looked up at me and smirked. Tisha isn’t listening to me either today on this very hot day at the Olympic-sized swimming pool at the YWCA, which is filled with lots of children who look negroalready from their swimming lessons. The little girls’ bathing suits are not very nice, not like mine and Tisha’s, which Mom bought for us in Rustan’s. Mine is a pink one-piece with big yellow flowers and a bumblebee. Tisha’s is an orange bikini with plastic yellow rings that hold the bra in the middle and on each side of the panty. She chose it herself. She’s so arte talaga. The little boys are so magulo and their swimming trunks just look like ordinary pambahay. I think they go to public school because they’re not speaking in English. And the water smells funny, like Clorox mixed with sweat and rubber from their ugly black salbabidas. We’re on the side of the pool in the corner facing the street – me, Tisha and her – Diego’s mom, our swimming teacher, Hairy Kili-kili Woman. "It’s okay with you?" I heard Dad say last week when Mom suggested we take swimming lessons with her. I almost said "Ewwww!" out loud but I covered my mouth. "Why not?" Mom replied. "You’ve always wanted the girls to learn how to swim, right? She’s as good a teacher as any, I suppose. At least she’s someone we know," she said. "Ang bait mo talaga," he said and smiled. She wasn’t always that kind to him about her. Last-last year, another one of Mom’s crying and fighting sessions with Dad woke me up. I ran to their room and saw her trying to grab a yellow Kodak envelope from Dad. "Let me see! Is that the kid? Let me see!" she yelled. I had never heard her shout at him before. I could tell Dad was very angry because his bushy eyebrows formed one straight line, like Bert’s on Sesame Street. "Give them back!" he yelled back at her. Their agawan became very rough. I got scared. Then, I got even more scared when Dad caught me peeking by the door and yelled at me, too: "Tanya! Go back to your room!" Dad used to be nice, especially when he would tell me bedtime stories about Achilles and his heel and Medusa and her snake hairdo from his old brown Greek Mythology pocketbook. Or when he’d show me the great paintings of the world from the Book of Knowledge Encyclopedia like the "Mona Lisa" or the dark blue and yellow swirly one like in the song Starry, Starry Night. But lately, especially after Tisha turned two, he began to yell more and more often. Especially when we touched his things. Once when I got his giant brown Swingline stapler from his study table because I needed it to staple my assignment for English and I forgot to return it, he started screaming at the whole house. He yelled, "Sino ba’ng punyeta’ng kumukuha ng mga gamit ko?" and started throwing things. But I was only borrowing it! I just forgot to ask for his permission. I was too afraid to return the stapler, so I hid in my closet and buried it under my clothes until I was sure he was gone. Later, I returned it when he wasn’t looking. Last February 14, Mom didn’t even come home at all. That day, we made greeting cards for our parents in art class with red art paper. I cut out two big hearts and glued them on top of each other and wrote "It’s Valentine’s Day!" on top of the hearts using red Pentel Pen. But when I got home and Mom wasn’t there, I got worried. So I wrote "Please don’t fight!" on top of "It’s Valentine’s Day" and put the card beside their dinner plates. I waited and waited for Mom to come home until I fell asleep. At midnight, I woke up and ran to the dining room. Their plates were still there, untouched. Maybe they went out to dinner together and didn’t see my card! So I got the card and went to their room. Dad was sleeping alone in their bed. Even if I was scared he might shout at me for waking him up, I tapped him on his back and gave him the card. I started to cry. "Where’s Mom?" I asked. "Don’t cry," he said, "she slept in your Tita Alice’s house." I didn’t ask why. He let me sleep beside him. When Yaya woke me up to go to school the next morning, Mom still wasn’t there. Maybe Mom decided to be kind now because Tita Alice told her, "Just kill him with kindness," when Mom confessed to her and my other titas, the wives of Dad’s brothers, that Dad had a kid with another woman. They were all in the garden pretending to look at Mom’s orchids. They thought I couldn’t hear them from where I was by the swing, but I could. I pretended to fix my favorite Raggedy Ann and Andy knee socks because their elastic parts were so worn out they kept rolling down. I had to put rubber bands on each knee and fold the top of each sock over to keep them up. "Ang bait mo naman," my Tita Mary said, "Okay lang sa ’yo?" "Wala kong magagawa, eh. He’s always wanted a boy," Mom shrugged. My other titas just kept quiet and looked away. "Eh, I couldn’t give him one. ‘Look o," she pointed to Thea, our six-month-old baby sister in Yaya’s arms. "Another girl," she sighed. "Wala akong laban." We are in the part of the pool near the stairs, and Hairy Kili-kili Woman is putting on her bathing cap. It’s like a shower cap but tighter and made of rubber. It’s bright green, matching her one-piece bathing suit with lots of leaves and flowers. Maybe her long, thick, curly hair, which Yaya calls "kinky," couldn’t fit into the cap, that’s why she had to wet it first to make it more flat. That’s how I first saw her kili-kili hair, which is also curly like the hair on her head, when she put her hands up to pile up all her hair on top to put the cap on. Ewwww. Her kili-kilis look like little curly porcupines. Maybe they need bathing caps, too. I imagine how that would look and start to laugh. "First, we will learn how to do ‘bubbles,’" Hairy Kili-kili Woman tells us, leading us deeper into the part of the pool that says "3 FT." The water reaches up to my kili-kili and almost up to Tisha’s neck. Tisha jumps up and down in the water and claps her hands. She loves bubbles. H.K.W. laughs, plants a kiss on Tisha’s cheek and jumps up and down with her. Ewwww. I flash Tisha a sungit look and try to make my eyebrows meet, but she doesn’t mind me. They’re holding hands in the water, and H.K.W. reaches out to me so I can join their circle, but I just stare at her and put my hands behind my back. Okay, her name isn’t really H.K.W. It’s Amihan. Amihan Marquez. She’s a painter and a water ballerina. Mom told me this one night last year. I was on the floor in my room gluing pictures of flowers I cut out from her old Good Housekeeping magazines on bond paper for my "Flowers of the World" project in Botany. I thought she would get mad when she came into the room because I made so much kalat and spilled Elmer’s Glue on the floor. I was about to cover the gluey spot with a piece of bond paper so she wouldn’t see it when she suddenly sat down on the floor with me. She didn’t see the spot at all. Her eyes were red and she was wiping her sipon with a Kleenex. "Tanya, I have to talk to you," she said, looking very serious. I wondered what I did wrong. Uh-oh, maybe I forgot to check if the magazines I was cutting were really old! Then, she got up and pulled me towards her. "Come with me," she said and led me to the door. "Where are we going?" I asked. "To Aristocrat," she said. "Let’s have a midnight snack." It was only nine o’clock. Mom, Tisha and I go to Aristocrat for breakfast every Sunday after hearing Mass in Malate Church. It’s near our house on Carolina Street so we just walk. Dad stopped going to church a long time ago. Mom says he’s an atheist, which is someone who doesn’t believe in God. Mom says when he was a little boy he was a sacristan in their church, but when he became a grownup he stopped believing in God. That’s why Tisha and I study in the Learning Community where they don’t teach religion. Mom wanted us to go to a Catholic school like Assumption, but Dad said no. He said he wanted us to learn to think for ourselves and not according to any religion. That’s why when my cousins asked me to show them my First Communion picture and I said I didn’t have one, they laughed at me. Mom said not to mind them. She lets me take Communion anyway, because I like the taste of the Body of Christ. "But Mom," I whined, "I have to change first. I’m just in my pajamas and chinelas!" "That’s okay, let’s go, come on!" She almost yanked my arm off. That’s when I knew something was really wrong. She never allows us to leave the house unless we’re dressed nicely. We can’t even play outside in our slippers. We have to wear shoes. I ordered my favorite Chicken Honey and a Choco-Vim. Mom wasn’t hungry. She just asked for tea. It was very different in Aristocrat at night. There were no children like on Sundays, no vendors in front selling balloons and colored popcorn and pet chicks and colorful maya birds in bamboo cages. Just negra-looking women in very short skirts wearing a lot of makeup, making landi to foreigners. I tried not to stare at them too much. I think they’re called Hospitality Girls. I see them hanging around the go-go bars when the school bus passes by Mabini Street. While waiting for our order, Mom told me. "You’re a big girl now," she began. No, I’m not, I wanted to say, because when we form a line "according to height" during flag ceremony, I’m just Number 2. "And you’re very smart for your age," she continued. Oh, okay, maybe she meant I was only eight and already in Grade Four. All my other classmates were ten. "So I know it’s time for you to know," Mom said, trying not to cry. She said Dad still loved us but he wanted a baby boy so badly that he had to find another Mommy for it. Mom said all she could make was girls like me and Tisha and Thea. But she said Diego, our baby brother, was very cute and we would meet him soon and he might stay with us during the weekends. She said not to tell other people, that it would be our Family Secret. Yaya later told me that Amihan was a kabit and Diego was an anak sa labas. I tried to cry like Flor de Luna. I blinked my eyes very hard, waiting for tears to come out, but nothing came out. So I just embraced Mom and stroked her hair, which only made her cry more. I didn’t know what to do. The Hospitality Girls were looking at her. I said "Shhhh…" like I see in sad movies on TV. I felt like I was the Mommy and she was the baby. By the time my order came, I had lost my appetite, so Mom just told the waiter, "Take home." Tita Amihan (Mom told me to call her that, but I still can’t say it out loud) is still smiling at me even if I’m suplada to her. Her teeth are very big and white, like her eyes. Maybe they look so white because her skin is so dark, not like Mom, who’s fair like me and has singkit eyes and short, straight hair like mine. We always have our hair cut in the same style in the beauty parlor, the Page Boy. It’s the same hairstyle in her wedding photo with Dad, where she looks so pretty in her Princess gown and he looks so handsome in his Amerikana, I swear they look just like a movie love team, like Susan Roces and Eddie Gutierrez or Gloria Romero and Juancho Gutierrez in the Sine Siete movies Yaya lets us watch every afternoon before our siesta. Tisha looks more like Dad, dark and curly with big eyes. Yaya told me Tita Amihan looks like a Jeprox, like Sampaguita, because she’s always wearing long, loose clothes with no bra and doesn’t comb her hair whenever Yaya picks up Diego from their apartment every Saturday to bring him to our house. Once, when Mom heard me calling Tita Amihan a Jeprox, she got mad and said it’s not nice to call people names. She explained that Tita Amihan was an artist and probably a hippie, that’s why she looked like that. Mom said Tita Amihan was the one who painted the big blue-and-green painting in our sala. That’s what the A.M. in the bottom corner of the painting meant all along – Amihan Marquez! Well, it’s not really a painting of anything. It just looks like a jigsaw puzzle. Dad told me it’s called an abstract, but he didn’t tell me shepainted it. It used to be my favorite painting in the whole house and I used to copy it all the time in my sketchpad with my Cray Pas – until I learned the Family Secret. Well, I think she looks a like a bomba star. Like a negra Vivian Velez doing her sexy "Body Language" dance on Discorama on Channel 7. They have the same body, like in the rhyme the boys in school love to recite: "Wow sexy, Katawan Pepsi, Coca-Cola body, Lawlaw panty!" Vivian Velez is also always bra-less. When she dances, she squirms and wiggles and her big boobs jiggle around, so Tisha and I laugh and copy her wriggly worm dance while singing, "When you’re moving next to me, I can feel your body heat, so come on move a little closer, let me feel your body heat…" Whenever we watch the show every Saturday night, Tito Boy, Mom’s younger brother, points to her nipples making bakatunder her tube top and says, "Hayop!" Right now in the pool, Tita Amihan’s nipples are also making bakat under her wet bathing suit. She also won’t stop smiling at me. I hate her stupid smile. What’s she so happy about anyway? I suddenly remember that I haven’t seen Mom smile in such a long time. She’s always sad and crying or mad at Dad. "Okay, girls, who can show me how to inhale and exhale?" Tita Amihan asks. I raise my hand automatically like I always do when I know the answer in class. Tsk! Why’d I do that? Oh well. I won’t smile na lang. I show Tita Amihan and Tisha how, drawing in air through my nose and making my stomach small, then breathing the air out, making my stomach big. "Very good," Tita Amihan exclaims and claps. "Now, we are going to make bubbles by doing what Tanya did – but under the water. Let’s blow out air through our nose and mouth. Let’s pretend we’re sea lions. Do you know what a sea lion is?" I roll my eyes. Sus! Of course I do! I learned it in Zoology. Does she know it’s a mammal? Tita Amihan sinks down into the water, and when Tisha sees bubbles form on top of her head, she gets excited and copies her right away. Soon, they’re both jumping up and down in the water again, making lots of bubbles and laughing when they come up. "Wow, Tisha, you’re a nachural!" she says, pronouncing natural with a "ch." It’s just like the way Dad says pizza pie with a "ch" and supermarket and stupid with a "sh" instead of an "s." They’re looking at me, but I just stand there with my arms crossed in front of me. "Come on, Tanya, try it!" Tita Amihan calls out to me. "Yes, Ate Tanya, try it, it’s fun!" Tisha squeals. It looks pretty easy, but my feet are glued to the floor of the pool and I can’t move. It’s so noisy, I can’t concentrate – suddenly my ears have turned bionic and I can hear the kids in the pool talking, laughing, screaming and splashing water all at the same time. I stare at Tita Amihan’s curly porcupines. Maybe they’re baho like the anghit of the high school boys who play basketball in our school gym sometimes. I force myself to try. I bend my knees and crouch down until the water comes up to my chin, then I stop. I’m afraid to taste the water that’s been touched by her kili-kili hair, so I press my lips inwards very tightly to seal my tongue in, then continue crouching down until my head is completely under the water. But I forget to close my eyes! Ouch! The water goes inside my eyes and stings them, so I shut them very tight. I forget to exhale, so the water goes inside my nostrils, stinging them, too. Ouch! I jerk up and come out of the water. I start coughing and sputtering. My eyes are still shut tight and I’m pinching my nose because it’s so painful, like the time a grain of rice got stuck in it. Even my throat hurts. Tita Amihan rushes to me and puts her arm around me. "Oh no, Tanya, are you okay?" she asks. I struggle away from her grasp and grab the hand railing. "I’m fine, leave me alone," I’m sungit to her again as I wipe the water from my eyes and smooth back all the clumped wet hair that’s all over my face. I want to quit and leave the pool, but I can’t. I’m trapped. Dad won’t pick us up until five. I never wanted to be here in the first place, but I was afraid that Mom and Dad would fight again if I complained. Who cares about swimming anyway? Only Dad does. He says we have to grow up to be survivors. "One day, you’ll be on a boat that will sink. What if you don’t know how to swim? In life, you either sink or swim!" he always says. Dad grew up near Bauang Beach in La Union, so he learned how to swim at a very young age. He wants us to be like him, and even if we’re girls, he wants us to learn things like riding a bike and karate and sports. He got so angry last summer when Mom, Tisha and I came back from the YWCA and she told him she enrolled us in Hula and Tahitian dance instead of swimming because all the classes were full when we got there. "Hula? Tahitian?" he screamed at Mom. "Ano’ng lecheng kaartehan na naman ‘yan? That’s not a survival skill! It’s just a waste of money. My money!" I got scared. He was already mad at Mom for enrolling us in ballet classes. Dad grew up poor and had to sell newspapers and shine shoes to put himself through school, that’s why I think he wants us to have a hard time, too. Whenever he sees us with a new toy or new clothes or shoes, he says, "When I was your age, we never had enough money for those things. We had to work to save up money for what we needed." He says we might become spoiled brats if we get too used to special stuff. But Mom used to be a folk dancer, so she wanted us to learn dancing, too. She said we would have good posture and become graceful. I make sure Dad never sees me and Tisha practicing our dancing, and I always hide our ballet shoes and grass skirts under my bed. I know that if he sees them he’ll remember our dance lessons and get mad again. I’m always afraid to make him angry. He might get so mad and leave all of us and make a new family with Tita Amihan and Diego. These days, when I hear his car horn honking whenever he comes home early at night I grab Tisha and we run to my room and hide under my bed. But that’s not too often, because usually by the time he gets home we’re already asleep. Don’t worry, Tanya, you’ll get the hang of it before you know it! Let’s do something easier," says Tita Amihan. She leads us to the gutter and tells us to hold on to it with both hands while stretching out our arms in front of us, then to let our legs float to the surface and kick our feet behind us. "Kick from your knees with your toes pointed," she says. That’s easy, we learned how to point our toes in ballet. "Pretend the top of the water is the roof, and you’re breaking the roof from below with your feet." she says. As Tisha and I kick the water-roof, I remember that Tita Amihan is a water ballerina. Mom told me she was an Aquabelle in Sulô Hotel, where there’s an underground restaurant with a huge glass window with a view of one side of the pool so the people eating could watch the Aquabelles do water ballet. I’ve always wondered if that’s how they met. Maybe Dad was eating there and saw her in the window like the Little Mermaid and fell in love with her. Or maybe he saw her nipples making bakat under her bathing suit. But I’m too scared to ask Mom. It might make her cry again. I wonder why Dad doesn’t want us to study ballet when Tita Amihan is a ballerina, too. Well, sort of. I want to be a ballerina, too, but the real kind, onstage. "Now, girls, slowly put your face in the water, then try to release your hands from the gutter and kick backwards. Don’t worry, Tanya, you can close your eyes first. Inhale, exhale." I look at Tisha. She’s doing it already – just like that, she can swim! Without touching the gutter! And her eyes are open! I can’t believe it. How can she be so brave? I’m surprised that I can even put my face down in the water, but I can’t let go of the gutter. Every time I try to let go, one hand at a time, just when I’m almost there I change my mind and cling to it again. It’s like I’m glued to the gutter with Elmer’s. What a scaredy cat! Soon, my legs are tired. I stand up to see Tisha and Tita Amihan smiling again and looking at me. They must think I’m stupid and hopeless. "Keep trying, Tanya," Tita Amihan says. "You can do it, Ate," Tisha shouts. I roll my eyes. Why does she have to make kampi? Arrrggh! Why can’t I do it? I’m not stupid, I’m bright! In school they call me a prodigy. I can learn anything! Even this! Maybe if I learn this stupid thing we won’t have to see Tita Amihan ever again, and Dad will forget about her and our family will go back to normal. The sides of my tummy hurt. So does my head. I really just want to go home. But I can’t give up or she’ll think I’m stupid. I shiver in the water but decide I will keep trying even if my fingers are all wrinkled like prunes and manhid. On my tenth try, just before I stand up to give up, I feel Tita Amihan’s hands on my stomach. "Relax," she says, "relax your legs and put your face back in the water again," moving me in the water towards the middle of the pool, "and let me teach you how to float." I’m so tired, I have no strength left to put up a fight. Her voice is so gentle I feel like I’m being hypnotized. I become a very obedient girl and surrender to her. I can feel my whole body turning very straight in the water, touched only by the palm of her hand. Before I know it, my eyes have popped open without the water stinging them, and I can see the blue floor of the pool. It looks like a page from my math notebook. I imagine numbers on each tile and try to solve a math problem. But there are no numbers, just dark, skinny legs attached to ugly bathing suits running around underwater. All of a sudden, it’s very quiet. No noise from the public school children, no crying Mom, no yelling Dad. It’s like a very nice dream. In my head I can hear my favorite Church song, "Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me…" I always wondered what "peace on earth" was like. Maybe it’s like this. Just me and the water and no noise. My body is moving forward like a slow submarine. Nothing is touching me anymore except the water, and I feel like I’m in a cradle. A water cradle that’s rocking me to sleep. I can hear someone saying "Shhhhh…" and it’s not me. It’s Mom! "Shhhhh…" she says, and I’m back to being the baby again. I make bubbles without even trying. After a while, my eyes begin to feel very heavy so I try to make them open wider. The floor has become even bluer, and more peaceful. When I look around me, there are no more skinny legs touching the floor! Where did all the children go? I look to my right behind me and see green flowers and leaves… attached to a body… attached to arms… attached to armpits – with hairy porcupines! It’s not Mom who’s rocking me, it’s Tita Amihan! I wriggle away from her and move the opposite way. I look to my left and see "6 FT" written on the wall. I panic when I remember that the last time I got measured in the doctor’s office, I was just four feet tall. I struggle to get up and lift my head out the water, but my body shoots downward like something’s pulling me from below. I drop lower and lower near the blue floor. I can’t breathe. I can’t make bubbles. I’m sinking. I really want to cry but I can’t underwater. Then, from out of the blue, Aquabelle swoops down to rescue me from the floor like Aquaman on Superfriends. She grabs on to my waist and wrist and pulls me up to the surface zooming through the water like a torpedo. I gasp for breath, coughing and spitting out water. She lifts me onto the pool’s edge, where Tisha is dangling her feet in the water with a very worried look. "Are you okay?" Tita Amihan asks, throwing a towel around me. "Why did you panic? You were floating already! You were really doing well, Tanya! You didn’t have to worry. I was right there beside you. Just trust me, okay? Next time, you just have to trust me." I just stare at her. Then, I look at the big clock by the lifeguard tower and say, "It’s almost five o’clock. Dad will be here soon. My Mom is waiting for us at home." I get up and run to the ladies’ shower room, forgetting to bring Tisha along. When we come out of the YWCA, Dad is already waiting at the entrance with Diego. His face lights up when he sees Tita Amihan in her loose, white backless dress. I don’t think he even sees me or Tisha until she runs to him and shouts, "I can swim, Dad! I can swim!" He smiles, then looks at me. "How about you, Tanya?" He looks back at Tita Amihan, who gives him a strange look like they have a code. I say nothing, except "Where’s the car?" He points to the parking lot across the street. He’s so busy looking at her that when I say "Can I have the key?" he just hands them over without looking. I leave them and walk towards the car. When I turn around, I see Dad and Tita Amihan holding a squealing Diego in between them, swinging him back and forth with their arms while they talk. I’ve never seen Dad laugh and smile so much. He looks so happy. Not mad like he usually is at home. Tisha wants to join them and tries to squeeze in, so I run back to get her and force her to come with me to our car. "Tisha, get in the back of the car!" I order her. "Ate!" she whines but obeys me. I think of joining her in the back seat, but I worry that Tita Amihan might sit in front, and that’s Mom’s seat. So I sit in front instead. If she wants, she can stay with Tisha in the back. I sneak a look across the street again. I catch Dad kissing Tita Amihan on the lips. Then, she walks away from him in the opposite direction with Diego. Dad crosses the street to join us, alone. When we get home, it is almost six thirty, and Mom is standing in front of our gate carrying Baby Thea, right under the lamppost. In the ray of light shining over her head, I can see a cloud of lamoks flying on top of her hair. She’s wearing her pink Chinese silk robe on top of her pambahay and just chinelas, and has a kawawa face – the kind Tisha makes when she knows she’s about to be spanked. She’s wiping her nose with a Kleenex again. I wonder how long she’s been waiting for us? She didn’t have to stand out there in the street – why didn’t Yaya just call her inside the house when Dad honked the horn? I suddenly feel very sad. We didn’t even think of buying any pasalubong for her! I don’t care if Dad gets mad, I run out of the car to her and hug her tight. She smiles down at me and asks, "So, can you swim now?" I whisper, "I didn’t learn Mom, she’s not a good teacher!" And just before Tisha can shout from the car window, "I can swim, Mom!" I whisper to her again, "Please don’t make me take swimming lessons with her again, Mom. Please." She kisses my forehead, then Thea’s, and nods.

Sink or Swim Myrza Sison Second Prize, Short Story, 2006 Palanca Awards

[flightandsurvival]

Ayyyye.

General Womanhood

1. Do you like the color pink? I like a nice dusty rose. 

2. How easily do you cry? It depends. 

3. What food do you eat the most of when you’re sad? When I’m sad I eat a lot of pastries. 

4. How often do you experience boob sweat? Anytime that the humidity is over 40%.

5. What time of month is your time? I don’t have that anymore.

6. How moody are you when you are on your period? Not really. 

7. Have you ever thought you were pregnant because your period was late? Nope.

8. Have you ever been on the pill? Currently.  9. Have you ever thought about having children someday? What is your current opinion? I think about it from time to time. I’m not sure if I will have children one day or not.  10. Have you ever given birth? If not, would you ever want to? Nope, and I’m not sure.  11. How much do you like decorating for holidays? I don’t like decorating. At all.  12. How good of a cook do you consider yourself? Mediocre.  13. What is your favorite thing to cook? Stir fry.  14. Do you prefer cooking, baking, or both equally? Baking.  15. Can you sew? I can. It’s not pretty though.  16. How feminine do you consider yourself? I’m female. I don’t know... I’m regularly feminine.  17. Have you ever been told that you are too girly or feminine? No. 18. Do you consider yourself a feminist? Yes, absolutely.  19. How do you define “girl power”? Women supporting women.  20. How much of a neat freak are you? Not really much of a neat freak at all.  21. How you ever wished you were born a male? Nope.  22. Breastfeeding or formula? Whatever is best for the person breastfeeding.  23. What is your opinion of equal pay? I think that anyone, regardless of sex, gender, ability, etc., doing the same job with the same quality should be paid the same wages. I also think that all wages should meet the cost of living inflation.  24. What is one profession you think needs more women? I think that every profession needs more women. Women are wonderful.  25. Are you pro-life or pro-choice? I am heavily pro-choice.  26. Have you ever experienced any sexism? If so, please explain. Yes. Usually in microaggressions, sometimes in overt ways that are disguised as “humor”.  27. Have you ever been called a blabbermouth or a chatterbox? Lol, no. I’m fairly quiet. 

28. What is one thing about women you think most men don’t know? I’m not sure. This is a generalization I won’t make.  29. Is there anything you dislike about being a woman? No.  30. Complete this phrase: I’m so glad I am a woman because ______. Women are magic. 

LIFE EXPERIENCES:

31. Did you ever play with Barbie dolls as a child? Yup. 

32. Have you ever dotted lowercase Js and Is with hearts or smiley faces? Probably hearts. 

33. Have you ever been a Girl Scout? Nope. 

34. Have you ever been a ballerina? Nope. 

35. Have you ever been a cheerleader? Yes, my whole family was involved in cheerleading. 

36. Were you ever voted as homecoming or prom queen? No.

37. Have you ever hosted a sleepover? Many times. 

38. Do you belong to a sorority? Nope.

39. Have you ever kept a diary or a journal? I currently have a journal, good self-care. 

40. At what age did you get your first period? 12. 

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE:

41. What is the longest your hair has ever been? Would you ever grow it that long again? I think the longest has been low back. It’s getting there and I have no intentions of cutting it at the moment. 

42. Have you had a hairstyle above the eyebrows? I’ve had fringe. I’ve never had hair that short beyond the bald baby years. 

43. What hairstyle do you wear the most? Loose.

44. Have you ever died your hair? If so, how often? Many times, many weird colors, and whenever I am feeling the need for change. 

45. What is the heaviest you remember ever weighing? I’m truly at my heaviest now, 220lb. 

46. How muscular are you? I’m fairly muscular. I’m a strong lady. 

47. Do you have any piercings anywhere besides your earlobes? I had my nipples, nose, and lip pierced. Right now it’s just my ears. 

48. Do you have any tattoos? If you, where are they and what are they of? I’ve got a dragon (left shoulder blade), a dream catcher (low back), an unalome (nape), a lotus (sternum), and an elephant (left inner/upper arm). 

49. Do you like wearing lipstick or lip gloss? If so, how often do you wear them? I love a little matte lipstick. I wear it almost everyday unless it’s Winter. In Winter the SAD takes over and I don’t give a fuck about putting on makeup. 

50. How often do you paint your nails? Not often. 

51. Have you ever worn any fake nails? Yup. 

52. Have you ever worn fake eyelashes? Yes. 

53. How often do you shave or wax your legs? I shave my legs 2-3 times a week. 

54. How white are your teeth? Fairly white. 

55. Have you ever been told that you look like a certain celebrity? America Ferrera, Gina Rodriguez. Lol... I’m Chinese. 

56. How much do you look like your mother? Not much, I spent a lot of my childhood with people asking me if I was adopted. I’m not. 

57. How much do you look like your father? Very much so. We 100% look like father and daughter. 

58. What do you think is your best physical feature? My skin. I have great skin. I also have great hair. 

59. What do you think is your worst physical feature? My very fat upper arms. It makes it hard to find shirts that fit well. 

60. How good are you at communicating through facial expressions? Fairly good. 

FASHION STYLE: 61. What type of clothing do you own the most of? Workout leggings and t-shirts.  62. How big is your closet? Not big.  63. Have you ever looked through your closet and though “I have nothing to wear”? Literally always.  64. What is your favorite fashion brand? For Days, Torrid, Aerie.  65. Do you wear skirts and dresses at all? If so, how often? Yes, regularly.  66. What is your dress size? Large, 14.  67. What is the shortest length of skirts and dresses you are comfortable wearing? Finger tips.  68. How expensive was your prom dress? $500 69. What is the most expensive piece of clothing you currently own? I’m not sure.  70. Do you wear high heels or stilettos at all? If so, how often? I will not ever wear stilettos, but I definitely wear heels on the regular.  71. Have you ever worn high heels casually? Yes.  72. How often do you take an OOTD (outfit of the day) selfie? Not often enough.  73. Have you ever worn the exact same outfit from head to toe more than once? Yes.  74. How often do you wear a bra when out in public? Nearly always.  75. How often do you wear a bra when bumming it at home? Rarely.  76. When you get home from work, how soon does your bra typically come off? Within 10 minutes.  77. Have you ever carried a spare bra with you in your purse? No. 78. Which are you more likely to go without: A bra or panties? Panties.  79. Does it matter to you if your bra and panties match or not? I have never owned a matching set.  80. What type of underwear do you typically wear? Thongs during the day, full butt panties for bedtime.  81. How much of your underwear is white? Not many pairs.  82. Have you ever carried a spare pair of underwear with you in your purse? Not that I can recall. 83. Do you like eyeshadow? I do.  84. Do you like mascara? Yup.  85. How much makeup do you typically wear? Depends on how I’m feeling. Sometimes none, sometimes a little, sometimes a shit ton.  86. Have you every gone out in public without any makeup on? Yes. Often.  87. How much jewelry do you typically wear? The original jewelry put in when I got my rook pierced and 3 rings.  88. Is there any kind of jewelry you pretty much always wear? See previous answer.  89. Do you carry a purse at all? I have a backpack.  90. Do you like tube and halter tops? Not really.  91. Do you like crop tops? Sometimes.  92. Are you comfortable showing off a little cleavage? Yes.  93. One-piece swimsuits or bikinis? Either.  94. Does it matter to you if your bikini top matches the bottom? No. 

WEDDING CRAZE:

95. Have you ever been a bridesmaid? If so, how often? When I was little. Just once. 

96. Do you have any desires to get married? Nope. 

97. For how long have you thought about your wedding? Not long lol. 

98. How much of your wedding do you have planned out already? If I ever did choose to get married it would be done in the Fall, likely late September or early October. It would be at an apple orchid. That’s it. 

99. Would you rather have a big or a small wedding? Small as shit. 

100. Would you rather have a lot of bridesmaids or just a couple? Small handful. Sammy, Joanie, Brookie, Ellie. It’s a theme. 

101. Would you rather have an indoor or an outdoor wedding? Does the same go for the reception? Outdoor. Yes. 

DATING & RELATIONSHIPS:

102. What is your current relationship status? Single.

103. What is the longest relationship you’ve ever had? 14 months, very on and off though... Carter was a straight nine months. 

104. Do you consider yourself a hopeless romantic at all? Oh absolutely. I love love. I love caring for people, loving people, and connecting with people. 

105. Are you a virgin? If not, which gender did you lose your virginity to? Nope, a male. 

106. What personality trait are you most attracted to? Honesty. 

107. Have you ever been on a blind date? No.

108. Has anyone you know ever tried to set you up on a date? Yes. 

109. Do you use any dating apps? If so, have they ever worked out for you? I did until recently. They worked enough to go on dates, but nothing serious came out of it. 

110. Do you kiss on the first date? I would if it felt right. 

111. How often do guys hit on you? Lol, I am not someone who picks up on that. I need very direct cues. Example- a good friend and I hung out at my place, I truly believed we were just good friends hanging out. Then he straight up asked if I wanted to makeout and suddenly we were in my bed. 

112. Have women ever hit on you? Yes. 

114. Have you ever kissed another woman while sober? If so, did you like it? Yes. It was weird, I was young and it was my best friend at the time.

115. Have you ever dated another woman? No.

116. After how long of dating do you typically consider a relationship to be serious? It’s far more nuanced than that. If we’ve been together for a month but have spent every day together and are in constant contact, I’d say we’re relatively serious. If were together for four months but see each other like once a week and don’t keep in regular contact we’re not serious. 

117. Would you rather your lover give you chocolate, flowers, both, or something else? Flowers are nice. I’d probably be more excited with like a spontaneous trip to the MSPCA to play with the cats... but that’s just me. 

118. Are you friends with any of your exes? Nope. One ex cannot even be in the same room with me without a very heavy tension invading the space between- I’m not even sure why he was awful to me and I’m super over it lol. The other one I have no interactions with and truly I wish him well but I’d also be happy not running into him ever. 

119. Is sex before marriage wrong? Nope. Sex is only wrong if there isn’t consent. 

ENTERTAINMENT: 120. What celebrity do you most admire and why? I admire Amy Brenneman tremendously. She’s a wonderful actress, she’s a humanitarian, and she’s truly such a kind human. I was able to meet her, it was amazing.  121. Do you like romantic comedies? Do you have any favorites? I think they’re okay. No favorites.  122. Do you have a favorite romantic movie? No. I don’t really live movies. My adult ADHD is too real.  123. Who is your favorite Disney princess? Badass homie Mulan. Not just because she’s Chinese but because she’s the most badass. Also she isn’t actually a princess but she get lumped into that category. 

124. What is your favorite Disney song? All is Found from Frozen 2.  125. Do you watch The Bachelor or The Bachelorette? Nope, it is an uncomfortable concept.  126. Have you ever watched Sex & The City? Yup.  127. Have you ever watched any shows such as Project Runway or America’s Next Top Model? I loved ANTM as a kid. Mostly I liked the drama of the makeovers.  128. Do you like watching any beauty pageants such as Miss America? Nope.  129. Do you like watching the red carpet arrivals before award ceremonies? Nope.  130. Beyonce or Taylor Swift? Both.  131. Oprah Winfrey or Ellen DeGeneres? I don’t watch either but they’re both really great people. 

A PILE OF RANDOMNESS: 132. Are you named after anyone? No.  133. How many male friends do you have? A good amount.  134. Have you ever been considered the mother of your group of friends? Yes. 135. Have you ever called your friend friends your ‘girlfriends’? Yes.  136. Have you ever called a non-lover a term such as honey, babe, dear, or darling? Yes.  137. How many items do you own that are of a floral print design? Idk.  138. Have you ever scoffed at something because you thought it wasn’t feminine enough? No.  139. How healthy do you eat? Not the most healthy.  140. What is your preferred way to carry a purse: Clutched in your hand, on your elbow, or on your shoulder? On my back. I like backpacks.  141. Besides you phone, money, wallet, and keys, name five things you always have with you in your purse. Pen, notebook, chromebook, doTerra essential oil roll on, hand lotion.

142. Have you ever lost anything inside your purse? Yes.  143. Have you ever used your bra or your cleavage as a purse or a pocket? Yes.  144. Do you consider shopping a sport No.  145. Do you shop more in physical walk-in stores or online? Online.  146. What is the most amount of money you remember ever spending in one single shopping trip? Not sure.  147. How often do you have a girls’ night out? Nearly never. I’ve got course work, internship, and actual work. I only see my friends at work right now. 

148. Do you prefer coffee or tea? Both.  149. How polite do you consider yourself? Polite enough. 150. Can you do the splits? Nope. 151. Do you like doing any yoga? Yes.  152. Have you ever been told that you have cute handwriting? Yes. 

153. How well can you write in cursive? Well.  154. Have you ever successfully been on a diet? Yes.  155. Do you currently or have you ever belonged to a book club? I will have a book club after Spring break for work- I work at a school and one of my students asked to have a book club.  156. Have you ever talked yourself out of a driving ticket by using your looks? No.  157. Have you ever drunk a non-alcoholic beverage from a wine glass? Yes.  158. Do you prefer showers or baths? Baths, if the tub is big enough to have my boobs and knees and I have a bath bomb  159. Have you ever snorted while laughing? Yeah.  160. How strict are you about manners? I’m not “strict” about it, but general rule of thumb is don’t be a dick. 

[katsujiiccfinds]

Pretty In Pastels

by 60smusicluvr

Built with Patch 1.67 Pretty In Pastels is arguably the most ambitious upload I have ever shared with the sims community. It was designed to accommodate my 'Funke' Household (if anyone's wondering, it is that 'Funke' household, the one you can find in the library bin with the base game). It was intentionally designed to be a bit of a combination of something you'd expect Barbie to live in and Victorian (except Barbie would have a garage, no doubt!) The hue of the exterior changes colors, beautifully. It goes from an off white/pink color to a soft purple, as the day grows longer. I recommend placing the lot in Hidden Springs at 16 Subalpine Cir., right next to the waterfall and across the street from the museum or art gallery. This is where the 'Hans Tavern and Cafe' is located. It's a huge home that miraculously fits on a 30X20 lot. Can you believe it? Its got 5 bedrooms. Two bedrooms go outside the pastel pallet, so that the boys could live comfortably. One is more for a teenager, although with a few quick edits, it could be suited for an adult, if needed. The other is designed with a child in mind, but you probably already knew that by looking at those pictures. One room is not furnished on the fourth floor. When I originally built this build back in November/December, I wanted to use that space for the plant converter thing from University Life, but it sort of looks weird in an residential lot upload, ehh? Like all my uploads, this lot contains NO CC. However, I do use store content frequently and this home was no exception (In fact, it's almost insane! Count this as the first and last time I put something with SO MUCH store content on MTS  ). I recommend having all the content below, in order to enjoy this build to the fullest. Anything you don't own will be replaced by base game content, instead.

Lot Size: 30x20 Lot Price (furnished): 265,111 Lot Price (unfurnished): 101,893

Expansion Packs: World Adventures, Ambitions, Late Night, Generations, Pets, Showtime, Supernatural, Seasons, University Life, Island Paradise & Into The Future

Stuff Packs: High-End Loft Stuff, Fast Lane Stuff, Town Life Stuff, Master Suite Stuff & Movie Stuff

Download at ModTheSims

Sims 3 Store Items Used:   Aurora Skies:Minstatl Dorf Sectional Sofa Storied Tale Stairs Monte Vista: Peasants Potted Plants Midnight Hollow: Barbed Gable Midnight Hollow: Wide Traditional Gable Wall Mount Towel Stackomatic Hand Stenciled Dining Table Stash of Silver Cabinet Ultra Lounge Wall Shelf Woven Wicker Baskets Three Of A Kind Wall Lamp Grandma's Canning Station Nature's Wall Hooks Miniature Sailboat Old Town Oven Faire Frog Fountain Floral Fruits To Have and to Fold - With Bow! Wall Chilis Sculpture Animal Friends Window Woodland Counter Country Breakfast Wall Shelf Grandma's Pantry Coffee Tray with Book Accents Vineyard Vittles Shelf Old Miller Tea Time Tea Set Aria Widow Dressing Doric Column Fence All Of Me Mirror Love to Love You Love Lounge Corn Stew Pot Pastoral Practical Kichen Shelf Tropical Fruit Bowl Potted Orchid Divine Triple Animal Collection Grassy Frog Dresser Sugar Spice and Everything Nice Wall Shelf Murano Wooden Block Knife Stock Woven Wicker Trunk Double Frame Photo Wattle and Daub Lamp Love Seat Retreat Shoppe Counter Market Piggy Sculpture Dream Snare II-Stand Corkboard Murano Retro and Ripe Fruit Bowl JML Technologic 4:3 TV Kirby The Frog Desk Grandma's Old Mason Jars Wonderfully Woven Hanging Chairs Perfect Place Shelf Rabbit Ridge Peter's Safari Mobile Playground Toy Chest Bingo's 3-Set Collection Great Lakes Earthenware Pot Elite Efflorescence Bayside Shelving Care-Free Wild Flowers Animal Friends Boy's Single Bed Dirty No More Changing and Bathing Station All Dolled Up Curtains Jungle Cheer Flower Tower Color Me Chimney Top

[uneasylisteningradio]

Audio & Playlist for Transistor Sister Show #6 July 5, 2018

The Orchids aka the Blue Orchids Another week, another show! There’s a lot of coughing, a few requests, some wacky technical issues (mostly my fault) and a whole lotta rockin! You can listen below or tune in to WPPM Tuesday night at midnight EST or Valley Free Radio Wednesday night at 11pm right after Poison Ivy of the Mind! And after that, the new show will be live Thursday at 10pm on WPRB!

link to audio Playlist: Freddy Cannon - Transistor Sister The Millenium - It Won't Always Be the Same Table Sugar - Straight Shooter Sandy Denny - John the Gun Mickey Lee Lane -Hey Sha-Lo-Ney The Kiss Offs - The Kiss That Kills Rudimentary Peni - Bloody Jellies The Blue Orchids - Oo-Chang-a-Lang Suburban Lawns - My Boyfriend tUnE-yArDs - Hammer Unskilled Lab - Stabbing Pain Unser Favorit - Eins-Zwei-DreisteinSpittin' Teeth - Destruction Amyl and the Sniffers - Cup of Destiny The Sound Offs - The Angry Desert Wesley Willis - Rock and Roll McDonalds (request) Cheetahs - Radioactive Superchunk - Reagan Youth Traste & Superstararna - Pengar Sanford Clark - The Fool The Ohio Express - Turn to Straw Logitipo - Teoria del contacto Mollesters - I Am Proof of the Puddin' - Flying High Andreas Dorau in die Marinas - Fred vom Jupiter Maradeur - Wood Doll Swamp Dogg - Total Destruction to Your Mind Strychnine - Ex.Bx. Suburban Homes - Barbie & Ken Code BMUS - The Line Is Fine Group Doueh & Cheveu - Bord de Mer The Boswell Sisters - When I Take My Sugar to Tea Neonbabies - Eingebrochen Asbest - Family Care Ben Bernie and His Orchestra Au Revoir, Pleasant Dreams

[slateroofpress]

When talk is smooth as butter but war is in the heart

Susan Glass is our monthly blogger with interviews of fellow poets, literary journeys, and all things poetical.

Jendi Reiter is an award winning trans-masculine author whose books include the novel Two Natures (Saddle Road Press), the poetry collection Bullies In Love (Little Red Tree Publishing), and two poetry chapbooks: Barbie At 50 and Swallow. Their honors include a Massachusetts Cultural Council grant for poetry and short fiction, and prizes from the Iowa Review, Literal Latte, and Bayou Magazine. They are editor and Vice President of Winning Writers, an online resource site for creative writers. They are also the local winner of Slate Roof Press 2019 Glass Prize Broadside contest.

SG: I'd like to begin by asking you about the winning poem that you submitted to our Broadside contest, "Psalm 55.21.” I am struck by the direct voice, unflinching in its address to the creator, "Lord"— not so much reverent as declarative. And of course, all God's gifts herein contradict each other: the goose clothed with bed-feathers, a softness ultimately used against the goose. And the softness of this image bumps against the hard "neck of a snake," and "yellow snake's eye and bite." The cow's weight that blocks the wind is also "the weight of a mother who falls asleep on her child" — I think here of suffocation. Creation's gifts, it seems, are anything but straightforward. There's a texture in these images of brutal beauty and beautiful brutality. Is that how the images strike you? And how did you arrive at these images, and at the poem's voice that will not take any crap from the creator?

JR: At the time that I wrote this poem, I had been doing The Daily Office, which is a morning prayer in the Episcopal Prayer Book. The rhythm and imagery of various phrases from the psalms I was reading and praying stuck in my head. The voice of the psalm came naturally to me, as a "no bullshit" voice, not afraid to complain about things. Many of the psalms in which complaining happens are about intimate betrayal. The part of Psalm 55 that launched this poem was verse 12: “If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it. If a foe were rising against me, I could hide. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship in the house of God as we walked about among the worshipers.”

At the time of this poem's writing I was feeling betrayed because I had been very closely involved in Christianity and church stuff, while at the same time realizing I was more and more queer. This did not sit well with the Christian folks with whom I was associating. They had been so supportive of me during other traumatic events. And so I wondered how it was possible that these people with whom I'd shared profound spiritual experiences could also refuse to see me when the spirit was leading me to discover certain things about myself.

You'll notice that I changed the gender of the characters in this poem to female. That's because at the time, I identified as a woman, and these were female-to-female friendships. I was trying to articulate the ways in which female betrayal and female intimacy can be more subtle, more insidious, than betrayals between men. The original psalmist says, “His talk is as smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart." But I changed the pronouns to reflect the experiences I was having with my Christian women friends.

SG: You write long and short fiction as well as poetry. Do you work concurrently in these genres? Or do you find that you are composing in one while resting from the other?

 JR: When I first started writing, I needed lots of concurrent projects because I didn't want to put all my eggs in one basket, and I felt I should be trying everything. Then I found, for instance, that in getting to know a character for a novel I was writing, lots of shorter pieces would emerge. Now I sometimes get so caught up in writing a novel, I need a break and want to write something I can finish in an hour or a day or a few days, rather than in 7 years. That's when some of my poems come. A lot of the poems that I've written over the past decade have been for the "30 Poems In November" challenge, an annual fundraiser for the Center for New Americans (www.cnam.org). That's a way of writing many poems, from which I winnow the good ones. Pull 7 good poems from 30 you've written, and you have the beginnings of a chapbook. So my processes for writing long and short pieces do talk to each other. Everything that's going on in my head at a given time gets into whatever genre I'm writing, so they do cross-pollinate. Some of the poems in my chapbook Swallow started as voices that were part of a character in my novel. That's one way in which hybrid texts happen.

SG. Whose poetry and fiction do you enjoy reading?

JR. Right now I'm reading Ariana Rive's A Sand Book. I've enjoyed reading her work since her first book, The Cow, came out in 2006. I think her writing is edgy and brave. I read lots of gay romance and gay literature. For fiction I like dark fantasy and dark horror. I'm also reading lots of graphic novels because Peter, my protagonist in the book on which I'm currently working, is a comic book writer. I like the British author K J Charles. She writes witty, Victorian, paranormal gay romances that have a lot to say about society and social justice.

SG. Can you describe your work space?

JR. I have to have complete silence when I work so I can hear the voices in my head. I can't listen to music when I write, but I do listen to music in preparation for writing. When I'm working out or walking down streets, I'll pick a play list that I feel would say something to the character or persona that I'm working on. My office is the top half of a converted barn behind my house. I do have my computer in my office, but I usually write in a notebook in pencil while sitting on my couch. On my ceiling is a painting of a giant orchid covered in glitter and hot pink feathers. Around me are many unread and partially read books in bookcases, 150+ Barbie dolls, several doll houses, and lots of artwork. It's a very girly office for someone who is now trans-masculine, but I love it. It's flamboyant and suits my personality.