#bangs head with hammer

[zours025]

Theory of FrUk. (in my crazyperson eyes)

[grntaire]

i gotta say being a les mis url iwtv icon tumblr user leads to some very confusing interpretations of posts about a guy named marius

[windupaidoneus]

no you know what the BULLSHIT thing is about late november always making me a problem person to be around. it's literally right before my birthday. why is my brain so intent on making my circumstances as miserable as possible for my birthday. in like 2020 i spent my birthday thinking abt the friends i'd just lost by having a #bpdmoment & not saying anything about it to our common friends while they were openly trashtalking me to anyone who'd listen

[noxx-33i]

"Any body left for me?"

BROKER RRAAAGGGHHHJFJRJDJKFKLSLELLSLFLLELSÖÖXOWKX!!!;!!!!2!!.

Sorry, ANYWAYS BIG NEWS MY PEN ARRIVED AND I CAN FINALLY DRAW ON MY TABLET AGAIN YAY!!

This Broker drawing was brought to you via Huion Tablet and Krita 🫶💗

EDIT: i dont know why its so low quality 😭

[cherry-shipping]

i am goin g to fuycking ikill myself

[soutakuphi]

Yugioh Stars Card designs #20

"Your fate has reached its turning point. Pierce the final nail on their life, Lady Outshine."

new design for Jun/The Duel witch's oc archetype, Calamity Coven. They are filled with witches who determine fate and such, and their familiars and other beings and also a dragon, cause of course theres a dragon theres bound to be one. This member is Outshine, and she has a cool nail and hammer staff cause she likes nailing things onto other things...like bodies onto other bodies. Ya know, classic witch behavior.

[thebirdandhersong]

once again....... I hate to tell you, writers, but those....... aren't vows

[an-ivy-covered-summer]

i’m all for people doing their own thing at work and having fun. i, for one, listen to music, books and even watch baseball when there’s an afternoon game and that’s good and fine and i believe everybody should do it. but if it’s a shared office space, USE YOUR FUCKING EARPHONES. there’s absolutely NO NEED for my coworkers to be playing with some extremely loud thing like there’s no fucking tomorrow and driving people crazyyyy, oh my goddddd

[corrodedcoughin]

hey! YOU are one of the funny/smart/creative people on this site. don't undersell yourself.

also they are crisps. hope this helps

Think of me as that guy in America with the ridiculous deals on electronics. Underselling but still making a profit somehow baybie!!!

And yes. This does help. Immensely. Thank you

[levaagrace]

I NEED TO MURDER SOMEONE WITH A HAMMER.

RIGHT

NOW

[cxtxphile]

oh my go d

Day 12 of the wwdits Kinktober list: Succubus 💓

[sluttish-armchair]

OH MY GOD I need to learn “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” on the recorder

[cryptidscene]

I HATE LEARNING!!!!

Tfw you knew alters could have different preferences and even allergies but you DIDNT realize they can have. Fucking. Different mental disorders

Thinking about how goop has ocd and unnie has an eating disorder

What is even happening

[rafecameronssl4t]

Could u do maybe like a ballerina x rafe type fic where she’s breaking in her pointe shoes and rafe is just so confused why she’s breaking them 😂�� I love all ur fics 😭

Pointe Shoes || Rafe Cameron x fem!reader

MASTERLIST

Hearing the loud banging coming from the balcony, Rafe makes his way up the stairs. “What’s going on?” he calls out as he rounds the corner, his brows furrowed in concern.

As he steps onto the balcony, he stops in his tracks, puzzled by the sight before him. There you are, sitting cross-legged on the ground, a pointe shoe in hand, vigorously whacking it against the floor. The repetitive thud echoes through the space.

“What are you doing?” he chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief as he walks over to the sofa and sits down, watching you with a mixture of curiosity and amusement.

You look up at him with a soft smile, pausing your task for a moment. “I’m just breaking in my shoes,” you explain, your tone light and casual. You then proceed to snap the shank of the shoe with a satisfying crack.

Rafe’s eyes widen, and his jaw drops in shock. “Why the hell are you breaking your shoes? They cost a fucking fortune!” he exclaims, staring at you as if you’ve lost your mind.

You can’t help but laugh at his reaction, the sound bubbling up despite his clear disbelief. “It’s part of the process,” you say, still chuckling. “New pointe shoes are too stiff to dance in comfortably, so we have to break them in to make them fit just right.”

Rafe shakes his head again, still trying to wrap his mind around the concept. “I had no idea,” he mutters, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth despite himself. “Wanna help me with the other one?” You smile at him as you pass him your other pointe shoe.

“Yeah, sure, why not,” Rafe shrugs, moving to sit beside you. “So do I just, whack it on the floor?” he asks, his tone laced with confusion. You chuckle, nodding. “Pretty much.” Rafe picks up a pointe shoe and gives it a tentative tap on the floor. You watch as he gauges the effect, then, gaining confidence, he starts hammering it against the ground with increasing force. Your eyes widen in shock as the shoe takes a serious beating.

“Okay, okay—that’ll do,” you say, your nervous chuckle betraying your concern. He stops and looks at you, a triumphant smile on his face. “Got it,” he says with a grin. “This is kind of fun.”

[beat-blogging]

"kill them with kindness" WRONG. BANG BANG MAXWELL'S SILVER HAMMER CAME DOWN UPON THEIR HEADS🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🪦🔨🔨🔨🔨🪦⚰️🔨🔨🔨💀⚰️☠️🔨💀☠️⚰️⚰️☠️🔨💀💀⚰️🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨💀🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨☠️🔨🔨🔨⚰️⚰️🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🪦🪦⚰️🔨🔨🔨🪦🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨🔨💀🔨💀🔨🔨🔨🔨💀🔨

[oneforthemunny]

iscador |dom!eddie munson x sub!reader|

prompt: eddie thinks mistletoe is stupid. you put in place a new 'tradition' to make it more interesting. to boost his christmas spirit, of course.

apart of my holiday series munny's merriest <3

contains: smut minors dni. dom/sub themes and undertones (but not too many in this work this ones more cutesy and sweet and silly lol). oral male receiving. dom!eddie/ sub!reader. brat!reader. brat tamer!eddie ofc. eddie is a scrooge and reader loves christmas lol. really sweet and silly.

“Eddie! Can you come here?” 

The trill in your tone had him wincing, eyes pinching closed, fist still closed around the pencil, rubbing his knuckles against the center of his forehead. Eddie had managed to drown out the obnoxious Jackson 5 Christmas tape you’d mutilated his beloved boombox with. He just wanted to finish the campaign. 

“Eddie!” Sharper now, your voice held an agitated bark that had him groaning in annoyance, head tipping back towards the ceiling- the only place in the trailer that seemed void of your holiday cheery. 

“What?” Eddie snapped, slamming the pencil on his small wooden desk, shoving the chair back on the carpet. His feet were already falling in hard, sock clad steps towards the living room, brows still in a furrow under his bangs. 

He found you standing on a kitchen chair, drug under the door frame that led from the kitchen to the living room, balancing in your socks, holding a small, felt mistletoe to the top of the door frame. 

“I need the hammer and the nail.” Your bottom lip jutted gently, eyes rounding sweetly towards him. “I left it on the table. Will you get it for me?” 

Eddie huffed but still trudged towards the kitchen. “Get down, alright?” A ringed hand patted your hip gently, offering up to you to help you down. 

“Why?” You frowned. “You can squeeze by.” Your head jerked towards the sliver of space between the chair and the wooden frame. 

“I know but I don’t want you to fall, baby.” Eddie squeezed the flesh of your hip lightly. “Don’t really want you to bust your head open trying to hang this shit up.” 

You huff, hand sliding into his, stepping off the chair with the felt mistletoe still in hand. “It’s not shit.” You glare at him, moving the chair out of the way, so he can slide through and retrieve the hammer and nail. “You better quit talking bad about my decorations, Munson, before you get coal in your stocking.” 

Eddie snorted, eyes rolling. “You gonna put coal in my stocking?” 

“Not me,” Your lips curled in a smirk you tried to swallow, leaning against the door frame. “Santa will.” 

Eddie let out a bark of a laugh, twisting the small nail around his fingertips. “Oh no,” He played along, though his voice was dripping in sarcasm. “I guess I better shape up then.” 

“Mhm,” You sighed, tongue running over the inside of your cheek, lidded eyes watching his shirt ride up when he lifted the nail, centering it over the door frame. A sliver of his tummy peeking under the soft cotton hem, boxer band peeking out in a nearly teasing way. 

“Right there?” Eddie’s tongue poked out, holding the nail in concentration. 

“Baby,” Eddie grunted, an edge of irritation in his tone that had your gaze snapping back to him. “Right there?” 

“Uh, yeah, yeah that’s fine.” You swallowed the pooling saliva in your mouth, cheeks hot with fluster you hoped Eddie couldn’t see. “That looks good.” 

He didn’t, you thought, as Eddie hammered the nail into place, his hand twisting to extend towards you, fingers wiggling for the felt mistletoe in your sweaty palms. 

“There,” Eddie stepped back, hands on his hips, looking up at the hung decoration. “How’s that look?” 

You couldn’t care less about the decoration anymore, teeth pulling at your bottom lip, rolling it in thought. “Looks good.” You hummed, eyes trailing down his frame, towards his sweatpant clad ass. “Thank you, baby.” 

Eddie turned, brows furrowed at your dreamy tone. “No problem, sweetheart.” He muttered, setting the hammer back on the kitchen table. 

You stepped under the frame before he could pass back through, a devious little grin, that he was too familiar with, spread tight across your lips. “What’re you doin’?” Eddie huffed lightly with a lifted brow. “I helped you, now, I gotta go finish my campaign-” 

“-Look,” You grinned, nodding upwards, towards the felt mistletoe that hung above you both. “Hm, what a coincidence that we’re both here. Underneath the mistletoe. Must be fate.” 

Eddie’s lips curled, though he gave you an exaggerated eye roll. “Must be.” He muttered, hand sliding over your face, cupping your jaw. Your heart fluttered with excitement, fist balling at his shirt when he pulled you in, lips pressing to yours- but only for a moment. 

Your eyes flew open, fist still tightly wrapped around his shirt, mouth gaping with shock when he pulled away. “There. Is that the magical Christmas kiss you were wanting, sweetheart?” Eddie mocked lightly. 

You blinked up at him, scoffing after a moment. “You call that a kiss?” 

“What?” 

“What was that?” You lifted a brow, snarling up at him. “A kiss? That was not a kiss.” 

“Baby, please,” Eddie sighed, running a tired hand over his eyes. 

“No,” You shook your head, arms crossing over your chest. “You freaked out on me when I pecked you at your show a couple months ago because it wasn’t a proper kiss, and now, the one place you’re supposed to give me a real kiss, you don’t?” 

You ignored his eye roll and the short, irritated huff he gave. “We’re literally under the mistletoe!” 

“Ok? So what?” Eddie snapped, throwing his hands up. “I kissed you. That was a kiss.” 

“That was not-” 

“-Don’t.” Eddie pointed a finger at you. “It’s just- It’s just a silly tradition thing tha-that I don’t think is supposed to be taken so seriously.” He threw his hands out. 

You glared at him, brow lifting in challenge. “Hm,” Your lips twisted. “I think it should be taken seriously.” 

“Really?” Eddie deadpanned. 

“Yes,” You hummed in defiance. “And I think you should take it seriously too, and I think I’m going to make you.” 

“Make me?” Eddie snorted in surprised disbelief. “You’re gettin’ pretty bold there, baby, you better watch it.” 

Your tummy flipped with heat, tensing to keep yourself from squirming under his darkened glare. “No, I know I can make you.” You challenged. “At least make you appreciate it more.” 

“Yeah? How’re you gonna do that?” Eddie leaned against the doorframe, glaring at you down the slope of his nose. 

You glared back at him, eyes locking with his just enough to have his spine straightening, bristled by your defiant attitude and ready to adjust it. You could see him, sense his growing agitation with your brattiness, teetering towards acting on it with the way his hands twitched. He’d just begun to uncross his arms when you dropped to your knees, your eyes on him the entire time. 

“What-What are you-” Eddie’s words caught in his throat, strangled by the gasp of breath that tore from his lungs when you yanked his sweatpants down, tugging them down with his boxers in one quick movement. 

You broke eye contact with him for a second, tongue running over your bottom lip as you looked at his cock hanging in front of you, semi-hard from the excitement your brattiness had brought. Your thighs pressed together, hands still on his thighs, squeezing the flesh lightly. 

“What do you think you’re doin’, hm?” Eddie’s voice was tight, swallowing back a shivered moan at the sight of you, face centimeters from his cock, so close he could feel your breath. 

“Making you like the mistletoe.” You hummed so sweetly it made Eddie’s knees weak, eyes rounded and blinking up at him. Oh, how he ached, craved for you to touch him. 

“That right?” Eddie said around a shaky breath he tried to conceal. “This a new tradition, hm?” 

You nodded, fingertips ghosting over his skin, trailing down the bush of pubic hair with a teasing, featherlight touch towards his cock. “Until you’re ready to fully embrace the mistletoe tradition,” You purred, the pad of your thumb brushing over his tip. “I figured this will help ease you into it. Really get you into the holiday spirit.” 

“Fuck,” Eddie grunted, mind blanking with any sarcastic, teasing remark he once had when your tongue licked a long, slow stripe on the underside of his cock. Tongue flattening until you reached the top, taking just the tip in your mouth. 

“Look at me,” Eddie said between clenched teeth, both his hands on either side of your head, desperate to regain a little bit of control. 

Your eyes moved up to him, cheeks hollowed as you bobbed, slowly enough that it had Eddie swallowing a whine. Your nails dug into the fat of his hips, steadying yourself as you swallowed him further and further down your throat. 

“Holy shi-it,” Eddie’s voice cracked, head tilting back and toes curling when you gagged gently, the tip brushing the back of your throat. “Baby, fuck- keep doin’ that. Feels s’good, so fuckin’ good.” 

One hand slipped from his hips, cupping his balls gently, giving a soft squeeze that had Eddie groaning, whimpering with pleasure. Your hand slipped around his length, pumping him slowly, head ducking under to lick down the seam of his sac, wrist flicking and twisting his cock- exactly how he liked it. You knew exactly what he liked, what drove him crazy and left him begging for more. 

“You gotta- Baby, I-I’m close.” Eddie’s breath was ragged, his grip tightening on either side of your head. 

Your mouth took the place of your hand, eyes fluttering back up to him, cheeks hollowing as you sucked the tip of his cock. Eddie sucked a breath in, tensing with pleasure as he teetered closer and closer to his own orgasm. 

“Put your tongue out, now.” Eddie gritted, moving his hand to grab his own length. “Open up, all the way out- good girl.” 

You nearly whimpered at his praise, tongue folded over your chin, eyes still trained on him as he jacked his length furiously, cheeks reddening with splotchy heat until you felt the thick, hot ropes of cum on your tongue. 

Eddie’s head was spinning, cloudy with pleasure as he slumped against the doorframe, chest filled with ragged breaths that rattled his core. He didn’t even try to hide the loud groan that spilled out when you swallowed, eyes batting up at him sweetly, still on your knees. 

“Fuck, that was…” Eddie wiped his brow, sweaty and prickling with heat under his bangs. “Ok, I-I think I’m starting to get the mistletoe thing, baby.” 

“Yeah?” You purred, standing slowly, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand- it made Eddie’s knees weak. “You like this better than the kiss?” 

“Yes.” Eddie nodded leaving you giggling. “Still might need some more convincing though. Still on the fence.” 

“Are you? That wasn’t good enough?” You lifted a brow. 

“No, no, that was fucking amazing, sweetheart.” Eddie shook his head frantically. “Just… I don’t know, I’m kinda a Scrooge. Might need just a few more times to really get me into the spirit, ya know?” 

“Hm,” Your lips twisted playfully. “I think I could maybe do that.” 

Eddie grinned, positively beaming and silly, gooey with adoration. His hands reached out for you again, cupping your cheek, the back of your head, pulling you into him, bodies flushed and lips crashing into yours. You squealed gently, giggling when he pressed you against the doorframe, smooching you sloppy and sweet and filled with so much love it left you dizzy. A much more passionate kiss than before. 

Your eyes were shining when Eddie pulled back, his breath caught in his throat at the sight; you always had that effect on him. “See? It’s working already.” You grinned. “That was a real kiss.” 

Your smile and giggles were infectious, leaving Eddie’s own lips curling, chest bubbling with affectionate laughs. “That was better?” 

“Much better.” You nodded, hands sliding down his arms. “Much more festive.” 

Eddie pulled you into his chest, squeezing you in a tight hug. He wanted to press your body into his, push so tightly into the two of you fused together, bodies and souls and minds all intertwined into one. Instead he held you, peppering kisses to your cheeks so you squealed and laughed. His eyes caught the small felt decoration above the door frame, lips curling in a smug grin. 

He really was enjoying the mistletoe, already contemplating going out and buying one for each door frame in the house- hell, even one for over the bed. Eddie Munson’s favorite decoration was now the mistletoe, so much so that he wanted to keep it out year round.