#bane of italians

[yourlocalarmsdealer]

[folkandbooks]

Folk witch tip #2

Someone did you dirty but you don’t want to get down into the nitty-gritty? Instead of hexing or cursing, bless them.

Bless them to learn their lesson sooner rather than later. Trust me, life lessons hurt.

Ooooor, you can bless the people around them to see their true nature.

You’ll make them pay for sure ✨

[svampira]

doodling elias' sire😌

[centi-pedve]

subway is so crazy their whole menu system is crazy. ordering online is crazy. they remove spicy italian off the menu for some fkn reason. okay so we'll just customize a different sandwich to be a spicy italian which should be perfectly possible because it's not like they're out of the ingredients. well for whatever reason if you go to one sandwich it'll only let you have two proteins and you can remove them but not add any others. okay so if we can remove we'll just go to a sandwich with unbearable protein and remove everything except pepperoni and salami. okay so now we can't remove anything at all we have to have all four chosen meats on this sandwich. why. it's not like they're pre-made. so maybe we should go to a sandwich which is protein neutral maybe they'll have all the meat opportunities open liiike the veggie one. oh you can't add any protein. why. what if we really like veggies but maybe some ham slices wouldn't hurt. are you trying to protect vegetarians from themselves? then we find a different sandwich which is just a spicy italian with a different name. we should walk into the subway store and shove the tip of a rifle into our mouth right in the direction of our brain

[occulteclipse]

Blog Introduction

Personal info

Age: 23

Pronouns: She/Her

Length of practice: 7 years

Practice Info

• I call myself an occultist

• I practice divination through tarot cards and sibille

• I use crystals and herbs

• I work with my own energy and with external forces

• I'm not just a "love and light" practitioner, I yearn for balance and justice

• I know how to read birth charts and synastries

Esoteric interests

• Italian folk magic

• Witchcraft

• High and cerimonial magick

• Angels

• Demons

• Gods from different pantheons

• Jewish mysticism

• Death magic and necromancy

• Astrology

DNI if

• You're hostile/hateful towards any minority

• You spread conspiracy theories and neonazi propaganda

• You're here to create drama

You're welcome if

• You're just curious

• You're interested in these topics

• You want an exchange of views or ask questions

• You want to add/correct something I posted

• You disagree with me, but you're respectful

Content you'll find

• Reblogs from other practitioners that I consider reliable

• Art and aesthetic content

• Informative posts

• Posts about the books I read/I'm currently reading

[doscientasmph]

Falling down the serie a pipeline slowly

[modernmutiny]

Me: I'm totally not addicted to learning languages, I'm very normal about it

🦉👀: YOU GONNA KEEP THAT 826 DAY STREAK, NERD? YOU GONNA LEARN ITALIAN TODAY? VAFFANCULO, PUTTANA STUPIDA

[ghu-leh]

Some Cardinal Copia Headcanons (because I ;;♡)

Has a pocket watch at all times. Likes to keep track of time in a way that's almost compulsive.

He is the first point of contact for any new siblings that join the ministry, since he is in charge of all introductory tours to the abbey.

He also shares the responsibility of teaching Latin and Italian with other cardinals. He's somewhat strict so he likes for his students to be on time and has high expectations of all of them. Despite all of this, he's very beloved among his students. His goofiness brings a nice contrast that makes him endearing.

A big stickler for routines. Loves to-do lists and reminders. Organization comes easy for him during his Cardinal days, which completely goes out of the window once he becomes Papa.

He simultaneously has beautiful calligraphy AND doctor chicken scratches... both of them undecipherable. Due to this, the higher clergy has forced requested for the Cardinal to typewrite all his paperwork, notes and letters. It is normal to find him hunched over his typewriter until the late hours of the night, mumbling to himself in annoyance.

Poor little darling deals with seasonal allergies often. "Ugh cazzo! goddamn pollen..." He mutters, pulling out his handkerchief yet again. They are the bane of his existence.

He's one of those loud sneezers. The type of sneeze that makes the earth rumble, and the eardrums ring; so whenever he lets one out, he can be heard almost all over the ministry, echoing through the halls. At least is cute to see him walking around with a reddened nose.

He deals with generalized anxiety, so he gets startled easily and is on edge often. Because of this, he is quite fidgety with his hands. He also shakes and bounces his leg a lot while doing long tasks.

The type of person to squint when he's reading something with a particular tiny font. His eyesight is not as great as it once was when younger, so he also carries his glasses with him at all times - old fashioned small glasses that get the job done. And yet, even if he now sees clearly, he still squints while reading the tiny font.

[kalifornia1025]

The Red Circle Pt. 3 (SPOILERS)

*Cutely drops my notes* 

John’s REALLY struggling with the tech. I almost feel bad for the guy (almost).

Aww the episode starts off with John asking the gang (Mariana & Sherlock) if they’re okay after finding a dead body. Always nice he checks in with them!

“The good doctor here” SHERLOCK COMPLIMENTING JOHN

Imani’s back, yay!

Oh no, poor Imani…

This exchange:

Imani: “Sorry about this” (sending another red circle pic)

Mariana: “No no no-don’t be sorry”

Sherlock: “Yes you musn’t it’s fantastic”

John: “Sherlock”

Gregson and Mariana are formerly meeting!

THE MUSIC IN THIS CASE OMG ITS SO GOOD!!!

John, you’re playing Italian Mob style music to “capture the mood”?? What happened to “not wanting to stereotype?!”

JOHN JUST REPLACE THE MIC GODDAMNIT

“Ahh do I have a PTSD friend?” John’s new method to making friends apparently 

Mariana’s right this is stupid just GET A NEW MIC!! You can still keep the old one, John!

I now have a mental image of Sherlock staring wide-eyed at a big tv like he’s in a trance and I LOVE it

Aww possible future movie nights with a new tv!!

DONALD TRUMP JUMPSCARE

Wives of Cheshire comeback HA!!

“Oh you out of your trance are you?” Seriously how mesmerized was Sherlock to the tv for John to make this joke TWICE?!

Mariana discovers the next clue, awesome!

Sherlock: “I don’t seem to have (seat)belt”, Gregson: “What a shame” Gregson you’re such a salty bitch and I love you for it

Poor John trying to get around copyright stuff

“That’s a good start, you did knock and you did say please-“ another sweet moment of Sherlock getting better with social norm stuff

Wow John is REALLY stressed, and Sherlock is NOT helping

Hehe Sherlock is an iPad kid confirmed

I’m starting to love John calling Sherlock ‘Sherls’

“What’s the Site manager like? Is he…she…they?” John says nonbinary rights

John: Ah I’ve stepped in piss”, Sherlock: “Show me the urine”…um what???

You really can’t catch a break your shoes, huh John?

I’m listening to Sherlock and John talk about possibly reaching down into toilets in order to solve the case…man I love this podcast

John: “You’re doing the next one”, Sherlock: *sharp inhale* “fine” tbf Sherlock this was YOUR idea

“The Patreon numbers are gonna collapse” no such thing sir I’ve checked and we’re all here and loving this

Sherlock: “Imani would you perhaps like to have a go?”, Imani: “No”, Sherlock: “Bugger” I love how quickly he says it

Neuralizer mention! I love the Men in Black movies so much

OOOH, John and Sherlock making the realization at the same time!

Sherlock why do you always have a gun??

NOT THE CHIPMUNK VOICES DURING AN EPIC MOMENT

“English pigs, wot?” John sounded so genuinely confused by that

AHHHHHHH CLIFFHANGERS, THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE!!!!!!

Okay as painful as that cliffhanger is, this case is getting GOOD! I’m loving it. It’s definitely jumping up to my top five fave cases from the podcast. I was not expecting the case to be as silly as it is, and I’m absolutely relishing in it. I love the irony of John insisting this case is gonna be a bad one when I’m loving every minute of it! Alright everybody, now we just have to not die from waiting on the last part…see y’all next week!

[theoihalioistuff]

Nurses and Caretakers of the Gods. Part II: Ares and Hephaistos.

(As always, if you know any more sourced versions, I'd love it if you let me know!!!) Part I here.

Ares:

A quick overview of versions of his birth: he is almost universally the son of Zeus and Hera both (e.g. Hom. Il. 5.893, Hes. Th. 922–923; Apollod. 1.3.1), though he is also attested as solely born of Hera (in response to the birth of Athena after touching a prodigious flower from Olenos: Ovid. Fast. 5. 255), solely born of Zeus (after drinking the "male begetting" waters of the Nile: Schol. Aesch. Suppliant Women 855–856) or born of Enyo (Schol. Il. 5.156, Cornutus. Greek Theology. 21, see bellow, Enyo is curiously also attested as an epithet of Hera in Tzetzes ad Lycophron 493 and 519, perhaps in an attempt to reconcile both accounts). He is frequently said to have been born and/or raised in Thrace (e.g. Statius Thebaid 4.786). A fragment from a lost play by Aeschylus perhaps intends to paint a picture of his younger days:

DIKE: (...) Hera has reared a violent son whom she has borne to Zeus, a god irascible, hard to govern, an one whose mind knows no respect for others. He shot wayfarers with deadly arrows, and ruthlessly hacked ... with hooked spears ... he rejoiced and laughed ... evil ... scent of blood ... [Two lines unintelligible] ... is therefore justly called ..." (Aeschylus, Fragment 282. The passage likely seeks to etymologises the name Ares from ἀρή [bane, ruin, curse]) the vicious little psycho

1. Nursed by Thero (Beastly): "Of all the objects along this road the oldest is a sanctuary of Ares. This is on the left of the road, and the image is said to have been brought from Colchis by the Dioscuri. They surname him Theritas after Thero, who is said to have been the nurse of Ares. Perhaps it was from the Colchians that they heard the name Theritas, since the Greeks know of no Thero, nurse of Ares." (Paus. 3.19.7-8)

2. Nursed—among other things—by Enyo: "Accounts of Enyo differ; for some she is the mother of Ares, some his daughter, some his nurse" (Cornutus Compendium of Greek Theology, 21). Elsewhere she is also his sister (Quintus. Fall of Troy 424) or his lover, begetting Enyalios (Eustathius on Homer p.944) she is his everything, literally.

3. Raised and taught the arts of dance and war by Priapos (incredibly enough), a deity originally worshipped in the city of Lampsakos (in the northern Troad), who after spreading throughout the classical world was primarily known as a rustic god with massive genitals:

"According to a Bithynian legend, which agrees well with this Italian institution, Priapos, a war-like divinity (probably one of the Titans, or of the Idaean Dactyls, whose profession it was to teach the use of arms), was entrusted by Hera with the care of her son Ares, who even in childhood was remarkable for his courage and ferocity. Priapos would not put weapons into his hands till he had turned him out a perfect dancer; and he was rewarded by Hera with a tenth part of all Ares’s spoils." (Lucian. On Dance 21)

Hephaistos:

Versions of his birth are more or less split evenly between him being the son of both Zeus and Hera (e.g. Hom. Il. 1.578, 14.338, 18.396. Od. 8.312.) or solely of Hera (Hes. Theog. 929, Apollod. 1.3.5, Hygin. Fab. Praef.), likely in response to the birth of Athena, or else preceeding it due of an unexplained quarrel (Hes. Fragment 343 MW). Regarding detalis of his parthenogenic conception: "Hera, without any man, being lifted up by the wind gave birth to Hephaistos" (Lucian. De sacrificiis 6), and regarding details on the the birth, it's sometimes said to have been from her thigh (Serv. Aen. 8.454). A quaint tale that tries to reconcile both traditions (Schol.bT. Il. 14.296) claims that Zeus and Hera secretly slept together on the island of Samos before they were married. After being oficially given in marriage to Zeus by Okeanos and Tethys, Hera bore Hephaistos, and to conceal their premarital dalliance she pretended that she'd birthed him without need of a father. To finish off, odd genealogies abound which I'm not really going to include, for example Paus. 8.53.5 or Cicero. De Nat. Deor. 3.22.

1. In most accounts he's raised for nine years by Thetis and Eurynome, after being thrown off Olympos at birth by Hera for being lame (main source is Hom. Il. 18.394-405):

"She [Thetis] saved me when I suffered much at the time of my great fall through the will of my own brazen-faced mother, who wanted to hide me for being lame. Then my soul would have taken much suffering had not Eurynome and Thetis caught me and held me, Eurynome, daughter of Okeanos, whose stream bends back in a circle. With them I worked nine years as a smith, and wrought many intricate things; pins that bend back, curved clasps, cups, necklaces, working there in the hollow of the cave, and the stream of Okeanos around us went on forever with its foam and its murmur. No other among the gods or among mortal men knew about us except Eurynome and Thetis. They knew since they saved me." (Trans. Lattimore)

I ship them. Many later accounts confuse both versions of his fall (see below), and so sometimes Thetis and Eurynome recieve him after he's hurled off Olympus by Zeus, presumably as an adult (e.g. Apollod. 1.3.5). Also a variation is found where Hephaestus is raised by Thetis and the rest of the Nereids:

"But my son Hephaestus whom I bare was weakly among all the blessed gods and shrivelled of foot, a shame and disgrace to me in heaven, whom I myself took in my hands and cast out so that he fell in the great sea. But silver-shod Thetis the daughter of Nereus took and cared for him with her sisters: would that she had done other service to the blessed gods!" (Homeric Hymn 3. 311-330)

2. According to the other main variant of his fall, Hephaistos is hurled off Olympos by Zeus after he tries to intervene on his mother's behalf during one of their quarrels (Homer, Iliad 1. 568), presumably to save her from a beating (Plato, Republic 378d), or specifically to free her after she'd been chained and hung from heaven (eg. Apollod. 1.3.5). In this version he falls on the island of Lemnos, and is nursed back to health by the tribe of Sintians (V. Fl. Argonautica. 2.8.5, Hom. Il. 1.590 is quoted below):

"There was a time once before now I was minded to help you [Hera], and he [Zeus] caught me by the foot and threw me from the magic threshold, and all day long I dropped helpless, and about sunset I landed in Lemnos, and there was not much life left in me. After that fall it was the Sintian men who took care of me." (Trans. Lattimore)

As mentioned before both versions were frequently mixed up, being basically doubles of eachother (either Hephaistos is cast out because he's lame or lame because he's cast out), so sometimes he is raised as a child by the Sintians (e.g. Serv. ad. Eclog. 4.62, where he is cast out by Jupiter because Juno rejects him at birth, and so comes to fall on Lemnos).

3. Finally, there is a version where he is entrusted by Hera to the obscure Kedalion, a daimon who had his workshop on the island of Naxos. Hephaistos apprenticed and learnt to work bronze under his tutelage (Eustathius ad Homer, Il. 14.296a). Elsewhere Kedalion is an assistant in Hephaistos' workshop, who is given as a guide to the blind giant Orion so that, standing on his shoulders, he may lead him to the Sun and be healed (Serv. Aen. 10.763, Ps. Eratosthenes. Catast. fr. 32, Orion = Hes. Ast. fr 4, Hyg. Ast. 2.34.3, Sophocles also told this tale in a lost satyr play that bore Kedalion's name).

4. (Edit) Not necessarily raising, but I thought the detail of the Kyklopes teaching him and Athena "all crafts, as many as the skies contain" is really cute (Orphic Fragment 179 Kern)

[komohine]

My hc versions of keith and james! Also, not written on their sheets but my keith is filipino and james is white (specifically british/southern italian)

Excuse how stiff and awkward they look neutral poses are the bane of my existence

[folkandbooks]

I am very interested in what you said about blessing people around the person who did me dirty so they can see the true nature of the person how do I do that, if you have a recipe please share it with me. I also want to know if this will work with someone who has sent curses to me?

My go-to are prayers. Pray to your gods, pray to the spirits you work with. Ask for their blessing and tell them who is it for and why (saying “All [Target’s name]’s acquaintances” works just as well when you don’t have a specific acquaintance in mind). I usually offer the spirits something before and after this is done.

It would work on anyone, but if you’re specifically concerned about reversing a hex, this is not the way to go.

[fourquartertoast]

Peter: *reading the menu* What's antipasta? Sirius: Spaghetti's worst nightmare. Peter: *nodding* The archenemy of penne. Sirius: Fettucine's foe. Peter: Rival de ravioli. Sirius: The bane of – James: It's Italian. It means pre-pasta. Like an appetizer. *sighs in 'uncultured swines'* Peter: Sirius: Peter: Remus: Gnocchi's nemesis. Sirius and Peter: *cheers*

[temtamtom]

Do you have any pet HC for the brothers?

Yes!

Feli: Feli has a white cat named Gino, who was originally a gift from Sadık in the 1400s (Sadık was trying to woo him, and it worked). He can be a little stupid, but he's generally very affectionate and very social with other humans. It's quite rare for him to run away from visitors. Feli sometimes calls him Panna Cotta (among a myriad of other nicknames, like bello, ciccino, cicciotello, tesorino-). He also wears a lot of cute collars, sometimes even matching with Feli's outfits if he ever takes Gino out and about.

Romano: This is actually one of my oldest Romano headcanons- this man has a rooster named Ugo, and he is the BANE of everyone's existence (except Roma's <3). He only just started tolerating Feli's presence, but every other nation is a threat that MUST be exterminated on sight. Except Seborga, he's quite protective of the guy.

Ugo has definitely committed several war crimes, but courts are too scared to convict him. So he remains free...

Sometimes, I give them other pets, but those two are the constants! For instance- sometimes I give Feli a very pathetic Italian Grayhound, and sometimes I give Romano a Mastine Napoletano named Carmine (headcanon courtesy of the lovely @cicerenella <3)

[placeholdercornerworks]

In a fit of inspiration at @searivermountain 's , @idanit 's and @a-case-of-the-ace 's AU posts about Jeeves and Wooster living in their respective countries, here are my two (albeit rough and unpolished two cents) about Jeeves and Wooster if they were living in the Kindgom of Italy.

I'm rewinding the actual OG setting by a decade or so as such, we're talking of the turn of the century here, 1898-1912.

First, a few setting points:

• I imagined them living in Turin, initially this was because it tied well with other plot points (Such as chuffy owning his seaside vacation houses(?) on the coast of Liguria and still being able to put Rocky "abroad" in France). Historically you could explain it by saying his parents moved there shortly after the proclamation of the Kingdom of Italy in 1861 because they saw it as a reason of prestige, perhaps some aunts followed suit, so on so forth.

• To elaborate on Rocky, the equivalent of them going to America in S3 of the show would be Bertie residing in Monaco and Jeeves doesn't get sent to scout New York for Rocky's aunt, but rather Montecarlo.

• To move back to Turin, while gents clubs similar to the drones did exist in Italy at the time, it would have been much likely for them to meet at a cafe since many known groups in Italy organized in such way (e.g Varied well known turn-of-century writers often ruinited at the Giubbe Rosse in Rome and the "Macchiaioli" artists often reunited at the Caffè Michelangelo in Florence)

• The Ganymede however would have operated in a way closer to that of gents club.

• Bertie, such as his standing commands, is gonna get promptly shipped to study law at the University of Turin cause I swear it's lowkey a recurrent fact with many of the wealthier authors I studied, it was "the thing" much.

Now, before I get onto miscellaneous trivia and ramblings and such, my two thoughts on their alternative names.

• The direct italianization of Reginald is Rinaldo, which I'd be keen on keeping (alternatively Raimondo has practically the same etymology and derivation), for surname, upon learning that Jeeves derives from Genevieve, which was the patron of Paris, I've decided to give him the surname Parisi, for the sake of the assonance.

• For Bertie on the other hand, the direct italianization of Betram is fucking Beltramo and I am in fact not keeping that so to remain on something similar sounding, he's Bernando now cause calling his Alberto keep the Bertie bit feels weird. As for surname, I'm similarly going of assonance, but with his original surname and as such I'm calling him Vistarini.

And now, miscellaneous trivia, lo and behold!

• Newts, or more specifically, a specie of newts known as the Italian Crested Newt, is more of a thing in central to southern Italy, so Gussy hereby has a thing for eels here in Italy, which were more common in bodies of water in the North.

• Bertie being interested in aviation!!! It was very much the next new thing so he'd often muse to Jeeves about his curiousity towards the inner workings of this jolly contraptions, tried to operate a plane once, crashes it in 50m, but if you were to ask Jeeves he'll succesfully find the right guy with the right plane to give him a ride to give Bertie aerial photos of the city he's much excited about.

• Jeeves seemingly knows every literature known to man and he's ready to counter-prove or counter-quote a statement with an appropriate literary quote. This is more instinctive musing but I feel like Bertie would often make paragons to the plays of Alfieri and Goldoni, or alternatively, Latin stuff and he'd surely have studied it majorly in uni.

• Additionally I think it would be highly funny to have Jeeves and Bertie discuss Parini, il giorno specifically.

• God blast d'Annunzio also cause Tuppy would 100% be keen on comparing is love-unfilled existence to the banes of a d'Annunzio protag, he thinks himself the next embodiment of Andrea Sperelli and Bertie is just "Heh, silly Tuppy"

• This applies generally but lots of theatre going involved, they have stayed over in Milan before to catch premieres at The Scala and one of this baboons surely said they were gonna find themselves a girl like Eleonora Duse

• The cast of the drones routinely gets dragged in honor fencing duels over this or that offence or this or that woman and Bertie is frequently dragged in under the excuse "Oh, come on, the other party has never seen me before, you can go in my stead!", he miserably fucking fails and on the other hand this is another venture in which jeeves excels

[you-would-turn-it-off-halfway]

Characters who speak other languages??? I know it has nothing to do with pride but curious

Or the truth is that I do have enough

The Joker: French/Polish

Copperhead: Spanish

Bane: Spanish

Talía Al Ghul: Moroccan/ Spanish/ Italian

Harvey Dent (not Two-Face): Latin

Bruce Wayne: Latin

Most of the Falcone family: Italian

The Luthors: Morse language (counts as a language so)