#back body hurts
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Have you ever vomited so hard you not only wrecked your throat but dislocated your collarbone?
How about a migraine so bad it triggers your mast cells into a pre-anaphylactic reaction and you start breaking out in hives all over your body?
Yeah. Me neither until 4 o’clock this morning.
New level of hell unlocked.
And the migraine is still ongoing. I’m just no longer blind and dry-heaving.
I hate this.
#chronic health tag#chronic migraine#tw vomit#tw body injury#my collarbone is back in but everything hurts so bad#if I can’t keep this water down I’m heading to the ER
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is it weird that breaking my leg didn't initially hurt?
it just felt like a shocking impact (similar to a soccer ball hitting you in the face), but then it was fine. like I couldn't walk on it, but I wasn't super bothered until maybe 5 minutes later, and then it was like WOW there's something wrong here!
#possibly the amount of alcohol in my body numbed me to it#but it was shattered into multiple pieces#you'd think you'd be like AHHHHHHH MY LEG!#it was only a few hours later when I got back from the hospital and the inflammation had set in that it started really hurting
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pick'a boo, making funny faces to the little kid
#dont you sometimes feel the urge to reshape your bones till they bend and twist the way they usually refuse#make the tendons snap and rejoin for diffrent range of motion#make the joints stretch beyond their structure way beyond the restricting blocks#maybe then the godamn back would hurt so much#tw body horror#toh#the owl house#toh archivists#the archivist#toh collectors#toh fanart#owl house#the collector#toh collector#c:i Curator#regulart#ask#toh the collector#the collector toh#collector toh#sketches#toh comic#toh the archivists#the archivists#c:i anatomist#c:i wayfarer#c:i architect
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yknow what's fucking ironic. that helena was so jealous of helly, so jealous at seeing her be the recipient of genuine love and care from others, that she tried to kill her and steal her identity so that she could have that love instead. and then as soon as irving finds out she's not really helly, he is so horrified and so disgusted that he's prepared to kill her to bring the real helly back. he was prepared to die trying. irving would literally rather die than give helena goddamn eagan the love he has for his helly r. rich girl learns the hard way that you can't just cosplay your subjugates and expect to be loved and accepted by them
#even with mark she only got him to do all that cuz he had no idea who she really was!#anyways im literally sitting here sobbing over irving giving his life to bring his helly back#he died to fight against the selfishness of those who keep him powerless#he gave his life so helly could have another chance at hers#he didnt care about himself but hed never let his kid be used like that. over his dead fucking body#helena is such a compelling villain genuinely but rn im loving hating her#seriously just let me hate her this week. irv is dead because of her selfishness#this is the thing. when the ruling class make selfish decisions people get hurt and die@#and its never them who really suffers the consequences. its those beneath them#severance#severance spoilers#irving bailiff#helena eagan#meta tag
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You know you worked like some kind of animal when you leave the building and your phone battery is at 98%
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something happening on a mission, something personal that has soap spiralling; panic and rage making him reckless, thoughtless, and ghost has to draw the line
“you’re compromised johnny; you know what that means?”
“you’re not pulling me out,” soap immediately snarls. he turns on him and ghost barely recognises him; venomous fear turning his eyes to unyielding ice. "you're not sidelining me; i need to be in this-!"
but ghost has never been afraid of venom; spat or dripped straight from bared fangs.
he snakes out a hand grip the back of his neck, jerking him in a rough shake. "if you can't think, you can't be a soldier," he growls and he flinches like he's been struck.
his lips quiver as they twist in a sneer and he wrenches, trying to free himself of his hold.
ghost doesn't let him.
"it means you give your body to me because your head ain't fucking attached to it anymore."
soap stills, body trembling beneath his hand as he sucks in shaking breaths.
he tightens his grip, pulling him closer and digs his forehead hard into his. “it means you give yourself to me so i can have the weapon that you are and use you the way you're meant to be used."
the ice in soap's eyes fractures.
ghost’s voice drops to a whisper, spoken only to johnny, not this facade of vengeance and pain, and wills it to reach him through the glaciers.
“so i can keep you safe ‘til it’s done and i can bring you back.”
#in my head its bc graves abducts his sister and is using her as hostage to draw him out knowing ghost will always follow him#but the intensity and intimacy of saying ‘you cant trust your mind not to betray you so let me be in charge of your body until you can’#after what happened to tommy he could never deny johnny his right to save his sister#but its bc of what happened to tommy that he knows he cant let him do it alone with only his rage to guide him#hes more likely to get himself killed and ghost wont live through that#so he has to balance it#and the only way he knows how is to completely shut down soap’s mind until hes no more than instinct and muscle memory#if he cant think practically then dont let him think at all#reduce him to a place where he can only follow orders#and when its finally over and his sister is safe and graves is dead#only then will he drag johnny back up to the surface#he’ll do it even if it means dragging him kicking and screaming back to humanity#instead of letting him sink in the depths where nothing hurts. theres no fear down there. no pain. only order#and thats the risk ghost took sending johnny to that place but he only did it bc he would stop at nothing to bring him back#and help him through the after#the breakdown. the rush of panic and rage and relief and anguish johnnys been supressing on his order#it was his word that turned johnny into a ghost#and its his touch that brings him back to the man#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#we’re a team. ghost team#cod#soapghost#ghostsoap#ghost x soap#ghoap#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#john soap mactavish#soap cod#save post
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Time and Time Again comes back tonight!
Thank you all for being so patient with me, I know it was a long hiatus.
My health was struggling, my arm was (is) hurting, and I decided it wasn't worth it. I'd rather be slow!
So thank you for giving me that grace, and I hope you'll be there with me for the rest of the series.
#like straight up. it's not worth it. idc how many people get mad at me#i would rather work fuckin. anything else than maintain this impossible schedule and keep hurting myself#if thats what it takes to do comics full time. then i can't do comics full time. simple as that!#i hope that for my next work i can have a healthier schedule and still make this work as my job#but if not. I'm never going back#i can't do it. 3 more years at this pace will take my ability to draw#anyways. its really good!!!#like genuinely i can feel a marked improvement in my skills#which is WILD!!! And I'm extremely happy about that!!!#just one more step into being better built to give people the quality stories they deserve.#ive not properly had the fire under my ass to finish stuff up but. its fine.#like i said? not worth it.#if i have to pause again then ill pause again. like i literally simply can not my body can't handle it#so. hopefully stuff goes smoothly but whatever happens will happen#whatever will be will be#i keep getting distracted lmfao#im excited about it coming back#and also. will. probably be distracting myself...#other creators dont read their comments. I'm like straight up not capable of that LMAOOO#i check for comments like all the time#love seeing em. love reading people's thoughts about my work#it makes me a better writer and keeps me connected to what matters most. which is my audience!#so i dont regret doing that but also. jts extremely distracting#i get straight up nothing done on big update days#cause im in the comments absolutely massive eyed refreshing.#this sounds obsessive. and it is. no jk#its just fun and keeps me in touch w peoples perception which helps me learn to write better#plus people are nice and ask me questions that i wanna answer#or if someone is being an ass. then i wanna tell them to leave (cause i cant block people) cause i consider it my responsibility#time and time again
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An idiot like you...an idiot like you...
KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 9
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#userspicy#userjjessi#pdribs#*cajedit#*gif#IM BACK WITH MORE MICROEXPRESSIONS AND MINOR DETAILS POSTING WHEEEEEEEEEEEE#anyway 'only i...since i was young til now...have been looking at you' if you even care. cuz. *gestures* this is ALL that. in these hugs#and okay thinking about it - im a little obsessed with the way we dont really See the reasons Why ai di loves chen yi#like usually in dramas theres a 'here's who he is through x's eyes here's why he is desirable' etc. and kiseki is not. like that.#ai di and chen yi bicker constantly. chen yi brushes ai di off. we see all their rough patches. but the little things ai di says in ep4 -#'he picks on & scolds me the most but he cares for me the most' are shown as part of it all AND actually one of the first things ai di says#in that scene is that they grew up together. like idk theres something about how it doesnt need to be some big thing.#some great quality of chen yi's that makes him loveable. ai di just loves him. it's that simple. he just does and always has and always wil#and loves him for everything chen yi is. even the parts that hurt him. 'an idiot like you' followed by 'im naive. im foolish.' IDK MAN.....#ITS LIKE AI DI IS ACCEPTING AND LOVING ALL OF CHEN YI'S INADEQUACIES. WHILE DAMNING HIS OWN. feeling so stupid for feeling so much#for someone he cant help but love - bc their lives have always. been. entwined. & you see that love echoed in chen yi. in how relaxed he is#how he kisses ai di's choker..follows ai di's lead & ai di's mouth. before chen yi's mind knows its ai di his body knows & loves him easily
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They were just kids.
#art#my crappy art#fyp#kay draws#my art#gravity falls mabel#gravity falls dipper#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#dipper pines#mabel pines#dipper and mabel#dipper angst#angst#dipper possessed by bill#bill cipher#sometimes I think about how he just had to stand and watch as bill hurt him#and wonder if he would ever get back into his body#and if he would feel that pain#or if he would be stuck forever just watching as a ghost to everyone and everything#they make me sick and ill
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I hate that fucking joke guys sometimes make when they're like: "Oh, you're really emotional today, are you on your periods hahaha," like I will shank you in your sleep if you ever say that to me, but also I AM NOT BEATING THE ALLEGATIONS, I AM ON MY PERIODS AND SO FUCKING EMOTIONAL RIGHT NOW. I HATE EVERYTHING
#my tummy hurts :(#my post#sput chatters#EDIT: coming back to add onto this because i am mad- every single guy or person that has ever said that joke to a woman should be euthanize#I am sorry- I am pissing Niagara falls amount of blood out of me for my body to prepare for a baby I don't even plan to have#And you have the AUDACITY to make a joke about it. I WILL KILL MYSELF IN FRONT OF YOU TO IRREPERABLY CHANGE THE PATH OF YOUR FATE
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i keep trying to think of funny/poetic ways to talk about all the things i'm feeling right now but i honestly can't so. i'm really sad about what happened with my partner. i know he was an inconsiderate prick about it and that i didn't do anything wrong and i couldn't have prevented it but i'm just really fucking sad.
#ramble#i think knowing that he was awful and that it wasn't my fault should make all the sad go away actually#i'm in such a weird fragile state right now that last night i looked at my flip flops that are still covered in mud#and i just started crying bc last weekend he carried me over the mud so they wouldn't get ruined. KNOWING he was going to do this to me#sorry i try really hard not to overshare but i don't want to keep bothering anyone in my actual life about this and idk what to do#when it happened it didn't hurt this badly and i just assumed i would be fine#idk i think it's just sunk in how much of my future i don't have anymore and that's like#a bit scary#because i was Just calming down and thinking maybe i would be ok in the long term and now it's all gone#i'm in that weird place between desperately wanting him back and plotting where to bury the body parts#i'm also mad bc i wish he'd left me before the festival. there were SO many gorgeous metalhead trans girls that i could've kissed
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“Sometimes I dream about you. I memorize every detail of your face like a prayer. Those moments seem so real that I grieve whenever I wake up and your spot next to me is cold. Why did you beg me to kill you? I would’ve stopped. Even in death I cannot escape you. I’m not sure I want to even if I was begging for it.”
w/ @kashisun !! (happy birthday 😭)
#simblr#sims 4 edit#ts4#the sims community#mysims#lethal devotion#marine yes I did make this for ur birthday pls don’t kill me 😭😭#putting marine and I’s oc’s in the most devastating scenarios possible at all times#i imagined this as nie finally being found out by everyone else that shes an assassin that was paid to murder nadia#nadia would be stuck because how can she explain why this murderer is able to walk free and openly be allowed in her bed#but also how can she betray the one person she truly loves??#nadia's people would demand nie be put to death and instead of begging for her life nie would beg for it to end#'i have known nothing but misery and death until i found you. i trust no one else to cleanse and free me from my own damnation'#'i know i dont deserve it but paint me heaven with my own blood'#'i cant think of anything more godly than dying by your hand"#nadia would have to stand over her holding the sword to her throat barely being able to breathe staring down at nie sobbing at her feet#but nie would never look so peaceful feeling the blade press against her skin#nadia would be screaming inside PLEADING for nie to tell her stop that's all it would take and she would stop in a heartbeat#she'd figure it out later because at least then she'd have the love of her life ALIVE AND BREATHING#but the words never came instead there would be smothering silence while nie's body lay lifeless on the ground#but Nadia knows why nie never stopped her no matter how much it hurts this was an act of love because it’s what nie wanted#NIE YOU BETTER HAUNT HER ASS#knowing nadia she would spend her entire life learning necromancy just to bring nie back to life#probably think about killing her again too for putting her through that 😭
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mentioned donnie is shown to be pretty chill about being a mutant now im thinking and like,,,, ive always kind of headcanoned raph to be the one out of the four with the biggest complex about it. he's the most physically imposing (which makes him the hardest to hide in plain sight, and people are more likely to be afraid of him), and being the oldest he's had to worry a LOT about keeping them safe from other people. also i think it would explain his dismissive behavior in bug busters really well?? like he's just being petty towards leo because he thinks he's a contrarian, theyre just like that with each other, but i think raph would be the MOST comforted by the fact that there are people like him. that there's a whole community of them.
ive already seen a lot of people interpret him as just as insecure of his size as he is relieved by being able to use it, so i enjoy the idea of going a little harder. make him harbor some resentment, feel insecure about his place in the world because he in particular was taught to be afraid as the oldest. its fun
#personal#rottmnt#raph and donnie are the body dysmorphia brothers (fire text)#donnie doesnt give af about being a mutant but he sure does care about how he sticks out in his own family!!!! THAT'S what hurts him#i imagine raph having some bigger picture problems more than anything#ACTUALLY ALSO WOW THIS IS KIND OF BACKED UP BY HIS BEHAVIOR IN THE MUTANT MENACE EPISODE HUH#he is literally so fucking desperate for the approval of people that hate him for what he is. like.....
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merlin fanart?????? in 2023????????
more context for these in the tags
#OK SO this is like my silly little 1500 years later au i have running in my head#where merlin is a sad old man wizard living in an eclectic townhouse in london#he and kilgarrah sorta made up cuz who else is there to talk to after 1500 years#he keeps kilgarrah in a cat body tho to keep him in check#he lets himself age between like 25 and 45#then he'll wind it back before his joins start hurting too much lol#old man#ok that's it for now! might doodle more for this au later teehee#merlin#merlin bbc#merlin emrys#merlin fanart#kilgarrah
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I'm sorry I was such an asshole earlier I just felt my entire spine trying to rip itself from my fleshy form haha. yeah no I'm okay. it just does that sometimes.
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Anyway. Isn't it fun how every single fusion jasper is in results in her being hurt both physically and mentally?
#jasper#steven universe#fusions being a metaphor for relationships... jasper seeing them as something for weak gems... seeking them out in moments of desperation#only to lose control over her own body#get trapped at the bottom of the ocean for months#and suffer the second closest thing gems have to death. fundamental corruption of basically her SOUL.#rather than admit that the reason she misses being malachite is that she was so lonely any connection felt good even a destructive one#she mistakes the need for connection for a need for POWER. she exclusively approaches fusions transactionally#AND SHE NEVER EVEN GAINS ANTHING FROM THEM. SHE LITERALLY JUST GETS HURT.#ok that's enough no more su-posting. i know what awaits down that road and i don't want it.#in hindsight it's actually good that i never really got into su as a kid despite liking the random few episodes i saw#because i would've been a jasper stan and they doxxed you for that back in the day
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