#away from that community and the drama

[doulayogimama]

Considering that we didn’t get on a plane for 3 years (July 2020 was our last flight before I got pregnant - June 2023) I kinda cannot believe the amount of trips we’ve taken since we sold our condo.

Miami - NYC (Oct 2023)

NYC - Mexico (end of Oct 2023 for 3 weeks)

Mexico - Miami (Nov)

Miami - NYC (end of Nov)

NYC - London (December 12)

London - Amsterdam (Dec 13)

Amsterdam - Brussels (Dec 24)

Brussels - Porto (Dec 28)

Porto - Lisbon (Took a train early Jan)

Lisbon - Malaga (early Jan)

On Monday, we take a train to Barcelona

Then 1 month from Monday, we fly to Miami to stay with my family for 1 month

Kevin has been talking about the full eclipse for almost a year, and his cousins live in Cleveland (one of the only places that will have a full view) so from Miami we fly to Cleveland to stay with them for 1 week to catch the eclipse on 4/8). They’ve been asking us to visit them for years, so this worked out perfectly.

After Cleveland, back to NY. We plan to rent a place upstate for a couple weeks to skip Pesach (with all due respect, I will always try to skip that holiday; it’s so effing difficult and my husband will not listen to the stuff about Egypt so we just always skip out awkwardly and go to bed while people pray into the night).

During those couple weeks, we will drive around to scope out more plots of land for our Meditation Center.

It is INSANE to me that we’ve managed to do all of this. Grateful for the privilege but also to my rockstar of a 2yo. With any other kid, I’m sure this would’ve been nearly impossible. I can’t imagine getting this lucky next time with such a resilient + easygoing toddler. This is not to say we haven’t had our days of frustration (we def have) but for a 2yo???? She’s simply incredible. The best travel buddy ever 🤍

[royalarchivist]

I love the QSMP. Not only has it introduced me to many amazing international creators, it's also introduced me to the French and Brazilian community, who are so sweet, funny, and chaotic in their own unique ways. I love seeing fans sharing their culture and learning from one another, and I myself have learned a lot this past year. I think it's incredible how QSMP brings so many different people together – all of us united in our love and passion for this project and its goals.

But passion can often evoke strong emotions, and these strong emotions aren't always positive.

The past few months, I have seen multiple waves of hate, bad-faith generalizations of communities, and racist remarks directed at fellow fans – especially those who are part of the French / Brazilian community. This kind of behavior is inexcusable, and is in direct conflict with the mission of QSMP, which is to break language barriers and unite communities.

We are a global community with a variety of people from different backgrounds. Miscommunications may occasionally occur because of cultural differences and/or language barriers, but we should use these moments as opportunities to learn and engage with other people rather than assuming the worst about them and starting fights.

Although certain issues can be resolved with communication, sometimes it’s better to block and move on. Avoid spreading negativity or hate, and save yourself the headache of interacting with people who are just looking for someone to argue with.

No matter what community we're a part of or what languages we speak, we're all here to have fun. Please remember to be kind to each other. We have more in common than we have in conflict.

[mewniemoon]

Fuck it. Jumping on the "Prove the Pansear Screenshots weren't Faked" bandwagon. Seeing so many people blindly cheer and reblog that callout post legitimately almost made me delete my blog in fear. I don't blame Pan for deleting at all and don't think that's automatic proof of guilt. No one cared about any potential victims, no one cared if someone got hurt, they just bragged about how "they've always known" and that's terrifying. If the screenshots turn out to be true i'll retract my statement and apologize, but for now im just scared for the rw community and where its headed because this isn't good

I know Im not really a creator in the rw fandom anymore (mostly due to stuff like this tbh) but if just one person sees this and feels safer and seen then i'll be happy

[deviouslydoomed]

Hey yall. In case you didn’t see from their Insta or Twitter, Cryptigutz is not the person yall should be supporting for various reasons.

Id be happy to provide links if needed to docs and personal accounts posted from about 20+ people.

Anyways.

Stay safe out there and remember; someone you think is scarier and on a high pedestal may just be a man behind a curtain with a long shadow.

[paperglader]

Laudna.

Back to the place where she died.

Back to the place where she has been brought back. Twice.

Still healing from that. Still not over how not too long ago she killed a man in cold blood because she lost control. Because of betrayal. Darkness. Hunger.

A little kid touched her chest and felt so much hatred that she had to run away, scared. A hatred that laudna did not put there, that is not her own but that she’s been made to carry.

Delilah. Imogen’s promise.

Ashton. Her friend. The one that’s as visually broken as her. The one that’s always got it. The one that’s enabled her behavior in the past. Comforted her. Betrayed her. Hurt Fearne. Almost didn’t make it through. Reckless. Stupid. Woke up something within her, something bad.

The shard. Delilah. Hunger. Fear. She’s gonna hurt someone again. Her old hut. Coldness.

“Sometimes you have to walk from whence you came to appreciate how far you’ve come.”

The woods. Her friends running after her again. Guilt. Shame.

Ashton’s doll.

Imogen, the one she loves, the one that gave her a reason to live, the one that has never shied away from her, that has loved her through it all. She took off the circlet that kept her away from Laudna’s thoughts– thoughts that once were musical, that truly were the first reason that drove them together– immediately told her that she was disgusted by what she now found within her, the recent state of presence of the woman that lives there. That haunts her. Her abuser, driving Imogen away.

Laudna’s not sure which of her wants or feelings are actually hers anymore.

Laudna dreams about a normal life. Sometimes. All the time..

[fryeswiththat]

Me feeling frustrated that it took us until the final ST season to finally get Byler

Vs me realizing that it happening in the final season means that Netflix can't cancel it when it inevitably happens and we'll get a conclusion to the series in addition to confirmed Byler

[cozycreaturescorner]

y'all i'm finally applying to colleges after basically 4 years of procrastination! be very proud of me

[redjadethewriter]

"You're Brave To Choose 'Not' To Forgive"

While watching an ex-therapist discuss the concept of forgiveness, their perspective intrigued me. They argued that forgiveness can sometimes serve as a way to dissociate from our true feelings. It was a refreshing take, as we often hear phrases like “You need to find forgiveness in your perpetrator” or “You’re brave for being so forgiving.” However, I believe there is a distinction between apologizing for our actions and genuinely working on personal growth and emotional maturity.

Apologizing involves taking accountability for the harm we have caused and actively striving to become a better person. It requires self-reflection and understanding of the root causes of our destructive actions. It is not about seeking forgiveness solely to repair relationships or improve our image in the eyes of others.

In the past, I apologized with the expectation of forgiveness, without truly learning from my mistakes. I yearned to have that person back in my life or to enhance my reputation, rather than sincerely addressing the underlying issues that led to my harmful behavior. I now realize that I needed to take responsibility for my actions and focus on personal growth, rather than seeking forgiveness as a means to move on.

It is essential to delve into the reasons behind our uncontrollable emotions and the destructive actions they may trigger. By understanding the root of these issues, we can work towards genuine personal growth and emotional healing.

The guy spoke about his decision not to forgive his parents, explaining how it saved his life. This choice helped him grieve, reconnect with his emotions, and ultimately recover from his trauma. I can completely understand why he needed to do that, and it made me reflect on my own experiences. Why did we spend so many years constantly forgiving those who hurt us the most? In his case, he had to forgive his parents because he depended on them. He talked about feeling trapped, having nowhere else to go, lacking the financial means to leave, and being too inexperienced to navigate life on his own. It’s devastating when forgiveness becomes the only option, leading to dissociation and enduring constant issues, all while trying to cope with the trauma of being stuck with the very people who caused it.

I have spoken to many people in my life who describe feeling like orphans, despite having parents. These individuals have endured neglect, deficient parenting, and various forms of abuse. Some of them even argue that certain individuals should never become parents in the first place. I deeply admire those who openly admit that they do not want to have children to spare them from inheriting or experiencing trauma. It shows their recognition of the flaws within the current system.

Occasionally, my mother has expressed her wish that she had never been born when overwhelmed by life’s challenges. It’s an unsettling sentiment, but it’s a rare occasion where we find common ground. These conversations may not be healthy, but then again, mentally or emotionally healthy individuals did not raise us, nor did we grow up in a safe environment.

I even had to tell my mother that she doesn’t have to forgive anyone, but she should acknowledge that our entire bloodline is dysfunctional. This dysfunction stems from centuries of accumulated issues and challenges. However, it doesn’t mean that we must subject ourselves to toxicity any longer. Instead, let’s wish them well and distance ourselves from the negativity.

Of course, there are some individuals who choose to believe in forgiveness as a virtue and expose themselves to a lot of nonsense, even when they have the means to separate themselves from it. On the other hand, there are those of us who don’t have that luxury and must find a way to survive by any means necessary.

As for me, I cannot bring myself to forgive anyone for their actions. I simply acknowledge that we are all products of the accumulated nonsense that has plagued our bloodline and society. However, it is crucial that actions are held accountable and not excused.

I once had a friend who desired her parents to take responsibility for their actions. I had to explain to her it’s highly unlikely that she will ever receive that accountability from them, and the same may be true for the rest of us. The individuals who have caused harm would first have to acknowledge to themselves that they have done something truly terrible that has hurt us. Unfortunately, I doubt their ego will allow them to do so, as it would mean they would have to confront their own flaws and potentially view themselves as less than good people, especially if they hold that belief about themselves.

Hence, I concur that forgiveness may not be the most effective approach in life. As he remarked, “It’s courageous of you to choose not to forgive,” and I fully agree. This is true when you have been raised to believe that forgiveness is an empowering act, when in reality, I have never experienced a sense of empowerment or liberation when uttering the words, “I forgive you.” Instead, I would much prefer to witness individuals taking proactive steps to improve themselves as human beings, without expecting my forgiveness. Merely recognizing their struggles and acknowledging that they have personal issues to overcome would suffice.

Thank you!

[moonlit-orchid]

Normal people: vent about their feelings in a diary or blog post

Me: makes a whole ass zine at nearly midnight

[nicepersondisorder]

turns one of the people who wants to call me a friend called his shitty ex a narcissist despite me telling our whole friendgroup how he should Not luse it as an insult, at least two other people with cluster b agreeing with me and talking how narcissistic absue is incorrect and harmful wording AND me telling him specifically that i have npd after he said some bullshit about bpd and cluster b in general. his ass is not getting my friendship 🥰

[el-the-cell]

Oh alright. Something beautiful happened to me today. I flew to london to visit my father.. On the train from the airport i hear two women talking in my native language wondering where they should get off. They seem very nice and also maybe lesbians? So i ask them if they need help, and we find out we're going to the exact same underground station. I start heading there but there were several delays and it took a while, we also had to take a bus instead, and so on. They ask about me and what i do, and tell me about their lives, how they both take care of dogs for a living, and live together in the southern countryside and so on, how they were together for 14 years before they got married 2 years ago etc.

By the time we reached our destination it felt like i had known them for a long time, and they hugged me good bye and also i told them how i was so glad to have met them, because i am like them too. And they laughed out loud and were like: sweetie, we knew since the moment we saw you. And they gave me relationship advice, and also general good life tips, and a delicious carnival treat they had brought form their region (as a thank you for getting them to the underground station).

Anyway, i don't meet many queer people irl, especially not any who are my parent's age, and are in such a wholesome relationship, that i can look up to like that. I will treasure this memory for a long time.

[pepprs]

hi update still having an absolutely terrible time

[projectedensautism]

I'm nosey n wanted to ask, what's w/ the main Pizza Tower community? Like, is it The Whole Shebang on tumblr n everything or is it just like. A Specific Chunk of the fanbase you don't want anywhere near you? Like. I feel you but im nosey. I might join but i have anxiety bout joinin' servers o people i dont know lmao.

its mainly the discord and its all due to personal experiences impacting me with trauma from it. the discord is a mess of rampant toxicity that never gets dealt with so don't join it.

I recommend private/community run or just only experiencing it through social media like tumblr/twitter lol. I DO have one i intend to make public later but I'm waiting to think on that further

[roz-ani]

Wait, so... Riverdale ACTUALLY ended in polyamory? Like, FOR REAL?????

[ghost-of-a-vulture]

I'm gonna watch a new tommyinnit video =]

I'll update later =]

[betterbemeta]

Sometimes I think this principle about the honse can even be bad.

The fact that working with them at all provokes profound feelings of awareness of your limitations and the need for communication, I mean.

If you are even peripheral to equestrian interest discussion you are going to see a lot of people who believe they understand their horse more than they do. And that's not unique to any hobby or interest; there are people who believe they are better hobby mechanics than they are, better martial artists than they are, etc.

But consider the dog.

The dog comes in a variety of sizes. There's lots of cultural baggage about dogs, and many people buy a dog expecting they don't need to know anything about dogs. They have schema about 'what a dog is' that they were raised with. They aren't prepared to see things from the dog's point of view. You can watch It's Me or the Dog to go see this in action pretty much every time.

It's easier to project this way on small dogs than big dogs because you can more easily manhandle a small dog and force it to do what you need. (not that people don't project on big dogs, some people treat them like muscle cars, it's weird.)

But even big dogs are pretty easy to accommodate in our society. They usually don't need special buildings, for example. The barrier for entry to owning a large dog is comparatively low compared to owning a horse.

It's true that some people can get a horse somewhat cheaply. But a horse's basic needs are harder to meet. They need a lot more space, they need specialized housing, they aren't casual companion animals for your daily life, and more.

A lot of people wouldn't commit to that... only to 'suck' at it.

So with dogs we start at the small end and the bigger and bigger the dog gets the more likely it's able to maul you if you treat it bad... and then I think we actually have a chance to step backwards when we get to a horse-sized critter. Because it is really difficult to put up that level of investment for what feels like a low return.

Like I am not going to put forward some kind of singular Horse Person Projection Theory, ok? there's a vast variety of people out there. Some people are so enamored with the idea of horse that they are willing to do all that work, but are fragile to criticism of an experienced ring teacher etc. Other people can put a saddle on something and decide they know how to ride a horse simply because they can get on top of it. Still others will experience a lot of near misses or accidents while riding their horse and begin to romanticize the patterns. And then you have the people who think they're Dragonriders of Pern... It's not all one thing.

But a horse is still a large beast that cannot directly tell you what it's feeling in human terms, and a large high-investment critter like that is a really enormous human emotional bid. 'Horse people are Like That because you can't do anything with a horse without entering into The Mind of the Horse," yeah, and human beings are also often NOT prepared to respect the mentality of even other humans. Being forced to do this by necessity will make people super weird about if they are any good at it. It is not only a 'spiritual merging' but I think a form of... trauma? of actually NOT being able to dominate a creature, or expect that it will accommodate you through social scripts.

There are many people unprepared for this, as they would be unprepared for alien first contact... but still want to tell their alien adventure story, because aliens, bruh, how could you meet aliens and NOT connect with them?

Me: I'm going to look at horse forums, I bet the drama there is so funny

Me after 4 hours of horse forums: Damn....those people really love and care about their horses...