#aw fuck it

[riemoi]

Twisted Wonderland Royalty Au

The kind master and not so kind servant is here!!! just so you know this is kind of a mulit part thing, It's all connected!

Tw: Yandere, May be Ooc, cringe

Reader has no gender

Scarabia Characters, OctaVinelle Character, SavannaClaw Characters, Heartslabyul characters,

Summary -  You are royalty of a nation that each year holds a festival. As more guests arrive, the sound of a parade can be heard.

Relationship with the kingdom - The kingdom located in the desert. The family of Al- Asim is great friends with yours. Having many parties together, helping each other in times of need, trading resources, and working together on many world changing projects. Is some of the stuff the two families do. No matter how busy, if your family invited them or their family sent an invite. Both were always seen at any event of the other, because of that you’ve gotten used to the crazy actions of the sunshine heir.

Kalim Al-Asim — Heir to the Al-Asim family 

Kalim was always dragging you around at every event since you could remember. Always having a smile on his face, Kalim is the nicest human you ever met. Sometimes that is weakness or his greatest strength. After all for you it’s hard to say no to that shining smile but he is also clueless about the people around (aka Jamil). Anyway Kalim is always taking you everywhere, any party he hosts, you’re given the first invitation. He with you any chance he gets so much so people believe you're engaged or you should get engaged. As much as you love the kind man, just the sound of marrying him is exhausting. On another note there is a room in your castle that is right next to your bedroom that’s just filled with gifts from him. Also as much as a good friend he is ever since you were a kid you were forced to hangout with him and still are sometimes. It actually made you hate him for a while until you learned it was his parents that were responsible. It would usually follow two different  formats. The first one, you were playing with Jamil or another kid, then some adults and Kalim joined you guys. Kalim would be crying until he saw your face then he’d run to you saying something with a big smile then drag you off somewhere. The second one usually happens when you would first walk in the family's home two servants would bring you to Kalim then anytime you would try to escape or go too far away from him they would just grab you and bring you back to him, as per orders of the family head. You hated it. It’s not like you didn’t enjoy being with Kalim, you just didn’t want to be forced to be with someone 24/7. Meanwhile Kalim loved it, he loved that fact he got to be with you without worrying about someone taking your attention, he loved how people would talk about you two being engaged. One day it will be true. But he can’t help but want the day to come sooner. Maybe he could use his status as the heir to the Al-Asim family to make that happen sooner. Of course he’ll wait until you're ready, he still can dream tho. Out of anything he loves the most is you of course dummy! He loves your laugh, your eyes, how you dress, your hugs, your lips…how he wants to kiss you! “Hey Jewel! Do you like the parade? Come! Join me. Then when the sun sets we’ll go for a lovely carpet ride!” “I also got you a gif— Jamil?” “Uh yeah he’s here!” “Why does that matter tho? You're with me!” “Oh, You're just curious.” Do you love him? You shouldn’t! I mean we’re meant for each other! Everyone else thinks so. So don’t go thinking of others when you’re with me, Got that? Now have some fun with your future husband! Jamil doesn’t matter.

Jamil Viper — servant under Kalim

Jamil Viper, he is a very close friend of yours. When you were tired from being with Kalim, he was like a breath of fresh air. Unlike Kalim, Jamil had a good head on his shoulders. You both had to deal with the go lucky kid that is Kalim. Both of you would help each other out with making the experience a little more easier. When Jamil had to cook food, you would join and help when you could. Especially when it came to Kalim’s surprise parties. You actually got dance lessons from Jamil along with Kalim and when you were younger. Wanting to play with him but he was busy cleaning, you would join… which turned into throwing soap and other cleaning products at each other. 

Usually leading to Jamil getting scolded. You also comforted him when he was in need of it. You can’t even count how many times you two snuck out at night and played together, it was even more fun when he learned magic and did little shows for you! During the festival you would assign many servants to Kalim so Jalim could worry less and have a little fun, getting the break he’s been needing. He is grateful for all you do for him. He loves you dearly, he is uncharacteristically happy and thanks you for any type of help you give him. Surprising many people, after all Jamil is known for being cold and hating when people help him. In fact when someone would try to help him he would brush them off continuing what he was doing or when they do help the moment they mess up he takes over and sends them away. Guess what! Jamil loves you! And he won’t let Kalim take you ever or anyone for that matter. You would also  think that Kalim would be his greatest enemy, right? Well not that’s not the case! It’s in fact Jade! After all the only thing Jamil has going for him that no one else has over him is his picture perfect performance as a servant/butler. So what happens when someone who also has that skill shows up? He gets defensive. After all that is the only thing he has above the rest. But the moment you asked Kalim where he was. At that moment, he knew he had nothing to worry about. Because unlike everyone else who had to go to you, you were trying to go to him! He’ll just push Jade out of the way. It's not like he knows you that good, he didn’t know since you were five. Anytime a servant tries to do something for you, he would have already done it. Asked them to bring some snacks, he’s already setting a place full of food in front of you. Ask them to help clean up a mess, cleaning supplies out and working like there is no tomorrow. Asking them to help put on a piece of clothing you're having trouble with, don’t worry he helps Kalim do it all the time. He is at your service! You always tell him he should be relaxing and enjoying the festival not serving you. He is enjoying himself though, he not only gets to be with you but he can keep the others away. All while showing why he’s the best option for a husband. He is not the only one enjoying the situation because one hot day you asked someone to bring a cold drink, Jade and Jamil run off to be the one to get the drink. After a few minutes all you hear outside your work room is the two fighting, verbal and physical violence, last thing you hear is Jade chuckling then glass breaking then the door opens. With Jade holding a half empty glass and some fruit smelling liquid on his shoes, with Jamil nowhere to be seen. Ok, that was off topic. Sorry. Get back on track, Jamil loves you simply as that. I like to think that he first caught feeling when you killed a bug for him. Who knew killing a bug would get you a guy worth fighting for! 

“Hey, my sweet. I made you a drink to help you cool down after having to deal with Kalim.” “Do you want to go to town with me tonight?” “Oh, you're going on a carpet ride with Kalim?” “That's fine.” “Then how about we go in the morning?” “You’ll see if you can.” “Great! Uhm, how about a dance?” He was not going to let Kalim, or anyone else for that matter. Take you away. He'll do anything. To have you. He’ll use “snake whisper” on anyone. with not a care in the world, even you. If meant he wouldn’t be tortured by seeing you get close with another. But not now, he’ll wait. Maybe he won’t have to do anything! After all, he can’t think of any other person who can say they had a romantic dance with you in the grand garden.

[2old2swiftie]

I've been pulled to the Dark Side. I think she's dropping Reputation TV on Saturday for Karlie Kloss's birthday.

[beckybarnes]

My girl…

w/o color filters

[perelka-l]

All the moments Light and Near would probably kill each other if given a chance to be within vicinity of less than 20km of each other that I find amusing (when I think about it, Near is at least a continent across from Light at most of the time so that distance could be bigger, and we all know what happened when they ended up in the same room).

Let's start with the classic. First sentence and guy was itching for a pen.

Bitch thought he was the boss hilarious ain't it

"Who is this guy" and thus Light will spend pondering on this next *checks timeline* a bit over two months, wow

Anyway I wanna see how you fuck this up good luck

As a side note I deeply believe Rester is deeply unappreciated in terms of *makes swooping movements with hands* everything. Dilfery. Anyway, here he serves as a translator of Near's thoughts into polite.

hey bitch how are you doing with this mess

I would elaborate here but there is a fuckmothering missile in play so yanno.

Near is like ayyyyy casually getting people in to question them, the famous hobby of his, meanwhile Light is back on his "oh no if i say x he will think i am kira" let's give him a bit of time

and you fucked up, "L". everything is your fault. sucks to be you.

(I probs would also fuck up but you were the one to do the fuckup so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

ngl i feel like he is mocking Light here a lil' and it's not a genuine plan, especially considering that within next two pages he grills Yagami senior for confirmation that yep, it was Mello

sucks to be you,, gotta suffer

anyway i don't need you anymore "L". Light itching for that notebook so hard.

you haven't done shit so basically I used you when it was convenient for me LOL

hilariously light is very pissed even though like. That's why he was L for all those years. And yet he still gets furious. Just amazing.

Light gets owned by a froggy Near and it's a true delight to watch how Near just casually belittles him like that. Peak entertainment.

He was so happy to hear Near miserable after THAT exchange like wow you got fucked a lil' you dumb kid (he doesn't know he's a kid yet)

"see this is what happens when you ignore the power of the notebook lol" "hey i wonder who is a dumb bitch who lost it" PEAK

who are you where is light what have you done with him

"L2" he ain't backing up that easily, he had to let out that one little snark huh

Geee Light I wonder why people assume that

I WONDER.

Honey calm down I know you just got dick sucked by president of USA but calm down

Anyway few explosions and some troops being thrown back and forth later, Light has to get used to Near being annoying. Again.

Week is a long time tbf like you have this little guy calling you every day while you are trying to not have your evil plans backfire into your face smh

give him time babe, he'll get there

"my sus detector is ringing like crazy"

Anyway, allow me to continue later.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

I'm just ranting about all the characters who don't deserve the hate today. Do you guys want to see me rant about Argyle next? Anyway, Justice for Vickie. . .

I really try to let things go, but then someone calls Vickie Robin's carbon copy, and it makes a little feral. What the fuck are we all doing on here if we're not trying to find people who have the same quirks, interests, and ships as we do? We come together to find people like us so we know we're not alone. It must be so comforting to Robin to find someone who has a neurodivergent brain like she does. Who completely gets it when she rambles and people look at her like she's stupid. Part of it was because she was a lesbian, that she felt she couldn't connect with people, but I guarantee you, it's also because she talks a lot that she pushed herself away. Vickie rambles like Robin, so she must be the exact same. No, seriously, what are we all doing on here if it's not to form connections with people who have similar quirks? All couples have something in common. They're not all completely different. It's what allows them to make the connection and to keep it. It's just so fucking annoying. How the hell do you guys manage relationships with that kind of attitude? Hating on something that Vickie does means you actually hate Robin as well. The worst thing about it is that you pretend like you love Robin, but the fact that you hate Vickie is just further proof that it's something you would change about Robin and Eddie. There's nothing I hate more than people who pretend like they love a character but hate the part of her that makes her special.

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

having a normal one on twitter

[leadandblood]

1) CROZCEST MOM NAME REVEAL NOT CLICKBAIT??? OMG....... I wonder what happened to her ough :(

2) WHAT ARE YOU FEEDING HIM. RAW MEAT. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

KAJCDNJKKA YEAH. Liddy. Well, Lydia to be precise. And don't worry about it :) She's fine (says the liar)

I had a few mild ideas about what happened to her and then a really tragic one came to mind, but idk if i can handle writing that. Definitely not without crying. Anyway! I can tell you one thing.

she dies some time between 1818 and 1820.

[idontevenknowbroskio]

Ever since the game got released, I’ve been quoting the movie at every chance I get.

Honestly, hearing “ARE YOU READY TO EARN YOUR CITIZENSHIP, TROOPER” as a horde of bugs comes my way makes me forget that the entire point of the book is to ridicule the glorification of war 💀

🫡 I’M DOING MY PART, ARE YOU? 🫵

[a-room-of-my-own]

WILL I EVER STOP SLEEPING 18 HOURS A DAY

[amiracleilluminated]

debating if i should commit to the bit and write tags or chicken out

[feralcringeman]

PROOF IN CASE YOU NEED IT

UPDATE:

I put this in my reblogs but I’m going to attack this to the main post.

TRUMP HIMSELF DIDN’T CHEAT BUT SOMEONE DEFINITELY TAMPERED WITH THE ELECTION RESULTS.

^

Made by the amazing @the-gay-prometheus (genuinely thank you for saying this)

[valtsv]

are we still doing this because i have a late submission

[pencilmint]

Sunset in Shinjuku

[frownyalfred]

love how Gotham goons are like "awh, it's the nice, quippy one" when they see Nightwing and then Dick shoves his fucking escrima stick down their throats until they choke on it and almost die

[weirdsociology]

hey writers we have to talk.

if you've read any romance or fanfic in the past twenty years (i know you have), you know that there are a certain number of scents associated with hot dudes. you can probably recite the list of Things Men in Fic smell like in your sleep: leather, black pepper, pine, sandalwood, "something uniquely him", clean sweat, and if the character has ever fucking been within 50 yards of a firearm, something called "cordite".

here's the thing.

NO ONE SMELLS LIKE CORDITE.

cordite was a highly specific type of smokeless gunpowder developed in the 1890s by england specifically and used mostly in wwi.

if your good-smelling guy is not (a) english (b) using a very specific type of british rifle (c) dying in a trench in flanders, he does not smell like cordite. technically even if he does meet all those conditions he still doesn't smell like cordite because he smells like trenchfoot.

the point is, cordite is so far from universal that no one but the most hardcore gun nerds give a single shit about it. making your Sexy Hero smell like cordite is like naming a cassette-only bootleg live recording from the 1970s as your favorite grateful dead album. everyone at the party hates you immediately and knows you're doing it for clout. also, it's just factually... wrong. please stop. i know everyone else is doing it, but you can do the right thing here, i believe in you.

so what do people who are using guns smell like?

well if your story is set before the late 1880s, the smell of a fired gun is black powder, which, unfortunately, smells like seventeen flatulent cows have been shoved in a tire factory. trust me, you do not want your Hot Dude to smell like black powder. it's b a d.

if your story is set after the late 1880s, guns are using some variety of modern 'smokeless' powder - which speaking broadly doesn't really have a ton of scent when used. it does have some, but it's sort of non-descript: the best way i can describe it is the sweet, ozone, hot-plate smell of popping your car hood with a warm engine.

people who use guns a lot don't smell like fired guns all the time anyway, so while those scents might work in a fight scene, they're not realistic all the time. but there are some things that your Sexy Shootist will smell like basically 24/7 and that's metal and gun oil. metal you can go and sniff (i recommend non-stainless steel), but if you want a reference, most gun oils have a sharp, organic smell that's not dissimilar to canola oil but muskier and with a tang overtop. it's not unlikely leather is in the mix as well due to routine handling of leather equipment and gear. modern gear also tends to have a certain smell although it varies by production country and storage conditions - lots of opportunities there.

in conclusion: gunslingers and hired killers and military folks can be sexy and smell great on page, but i am begging you not to say "cordite" when you mean "gunpowder" ever again. we can do this. we are writers and therefore pedants. i believe in us!

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

pls pls heard me out...FIDDLESTAN! <3

ok, i got this ask ten days ago, and I've been thinking about it ever since. Because I got two other asks asking for fiddauthor, and I dON'T KNOW HOW TO LET THEM DOWN LIGHTLY BECAUSE I'M A FIDDLESTAN BITCH THROUGH AND THROUGH 😭😭😭😭 I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!

Don't get me wrong, fiddauthor is great and makes sense and everything. But listen. Billford and fiddauthor are multidimensional ships, they are good! But FIDDLESTAN!?!? that shit is the WHAT-THE-HECK-A-HEDRON!!!!!!! Even though it's literally 100% speculation, the implications are FUCKING CRAZY!!!!!!!!! I jumped between three ships so far during this gravity falls thing, each time thinking one is better than the other. I've decided that FIDDLESTAN IS KING!!!!!! I'm sorry. I could rant about them forever. I've been listening to nothing but extended versions of disco music for the past week. (YES THEY HAD A CRAZY ROMANTIC FLING IN VEGAS NO I WILL NOT ELABORATE!!!! (yes i will. I will elaborate at some point. it will be like ten pages or text. or I will draw it. idk.))

Here is a sketchbook doodle from like a week ago. I'm gonna post another fiddlestan thing in a few moments, but my style changes like I'm a completely different artist every week without warning, so I'm gonna leave this by itself!

He comes into YOUR house, he steals YOUR identity, and he fucks YOUR research partner!!! Fuck you!!!!!!!!!!