#about these AWFUL LITTLE DOOMED TEENAGERS
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Hii! I wanted to request a Nam-gyu x reader smut story where it's Obviously Readers first time at a club despite only being a year or two younger than him. Maybe with the reader being a virgin too? I can't get this idea out my head đ Rest is up to you, thank you so much<3
a/n ââ hope you like it! absolutely loved the idea :)
CLOSER
warnings ââ SMUT! MDNI, takes place after the games (don't ask me how they got out lmao i just know that they're alive and happy), porn v plot, p in v, unprotected sex, sex under the influence, virginity loss, corruption kink kinda? oral (f receiving)
word count ââ 8k
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a month. a month and a half, if nam-gyu was being precise. but whoâs counting?
it had been a month and a half since theyâd gotten out of those fucking games. a month and a half since heâd started to get to know you better.
and more than a month and a half since nam-gyu had had sex. but whoâs counting?
as shitty as his old life was, he couldnât have been happier to have it back. promoting club pentagon again, getting high every weekend, slipping right back into his little trashy life.
plus, now he had something he didnât have before. you.
heâd met you there, in the games, and heâd been doomed from then on. it was a strange sort of thing, really. nam-gyu was never the type to feel things. at first, he actually thought heâd caught the flu. then he figured it was just some kind of ptsd after the gamesâwhich, to be fair, he definitely had, but that was a whole other thing. but no, the tingling in his fingertips whenever he touched you, the stupid flip his stomach did when you talked... that wasnât a mental disorder, no matter how much he tried to convince himself it was.
heâd never felt that way about a girl before. almost... caring. maybe it was more than caring, but heâd never admit it. anyway, you and him were in some kind of limbo. you werenât something, but you werenât nothing either. you hung out multiple times a week, texted semi-regularly, and had messy make-out sessions more times than he could countâbut less than he wouldâve liked. never more than making out, though. and yeah, that thought crossed his mind sometimes. he wasnât an expert on these things, but heâd taken girls to bed for much less.
you always seemed to stop things right before they got too intense, and heâd be lying if he said it didnât bother him. having to beat his meat every time after hanging out with you wasnât exactly fun. but somehow, you seemed worth it. so he, the most impatient man in the world, had decided to be patient. for once.
anyway, even though he knew you werenât really used to clubs, he figured heâd invite you to club pentagon. he wanted you to have a fun time, see where he worked, see how his life was before the games. he wanted you to let loose a little.
"thanos will be there, it'll be fun," heâd said, and it hadnât taken much to convince you.
so there you were, the cold biting at your legs in your short skirt, gripping your purse tight as you eyed the long line of people waiting to get in. then, skipping itâfeeling very glamorous all of a sudden.
"i'm, uh, friends with nam-gyu," you said, the words coming out almost like a question as the bouncer looked you up and down. you gave your name, and after a moment, he finally spotted you on the list, letting you in without much fuss.
as you stepped into the club, you were almost left in awe. you'd never really liked clubsânot really. when all your friends started partying, you gave it a shot before deciding you preferred a more chill vibe. getting drunk with friends, sharing a blunt, that sort of thing. but then again, the shitty clubs your friends dragged you to in your teenage years couldnât compare to club pentagon.
several stories high, you could barely make out the ceiling. lights of different hues illuminated the space, smoke spilling from canisters, the bass-heavy music pulsing from a dj booth stationed at the center of the main floor. to say it was packed was an understatement, and you didnât wonder why. the place was incredible.
you looked around, suddenly awkward. what now? what were you supposed to do? where were you supposed to go? howâ
"nam-gyu!" you called out, spotting him weaving through the crowd toward you. he glanced up at you, nodding in greeting. kept it cool. he always kept it cool.
nam-gyu wasnât expecting you to look this good. which, in hindsight, was a mistake.
your hands found their place on his shoulders before you even thought about it, familiar but not entirely effortless. still getting used to this. to him. to the way he let you in but only just enough.
"you came." he smirked slightly. his hand found your waist without thinking, the fabric of your shirt soft beneath his fingers. he barely had time to process it before you leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. barely there. almost shy.
you werenât used to that either. you pulled away just as quickly, catching the way nam-gyuâs dark eyes flickered over you before he schooled his expression into something more detached. not detached enough, though. the way his thumb ghosted over your side told another story. he was playing it cool. always.
"this place is super cool," you said, spinning slightly to take it all in.
the music pulsed, deep and low, the bass rattling the floor beneath you. the air smelled like expensive liquor and cheap cologne, bodies pressing close under flashing lights.
nam-gyu scoffed, pleased despite himself. "yeah?" he chuckled, tilting his head at you, his expression settling into something smug. "c'mon, iâll show you the vip section."
and of course, you let him.
he led you through the club, already losing track of its winding paths, but nam-gyu moved like he owned the place. and he liked itâyou could see he liked it. guiding you like he held any real power, his hand still pressed firmly to your lower waist as he did so. he liked being the one guiding you, showing you his world like it meant something. like he meant something here. and maybe he did. maybe you saw it too.
"look who it is!"
the voice cut through the air just before you reached the top of the short staircase. thanos. loud as ever, his grin splitting his face as he all but threw himself up from the couch. the two girls draped over him barely had time to react before he pulled away, arms open wide as he closed the distance between you.
you barely had time to brace yourself before he engulfed you in a hug, laughter rumbling from his chest. the scent of cologne and alcohol clung to him, heavy and overfamiliar, like he had been here for hours.
"damn, lookin' good!" he said as he pulled away, giving you a quick once-overâno real interest behind it, but enough to make you giggle.
it really was crazy how being stuck in some life-or-death games could make people this close in such a short time.
"okay, chill." nam-gyu rolled his eyes, but there was a faint smile on his lips, his hand never leaving your waist.
thanos ignored him. "have a seat, señorita." he gestured toward the black leather couch, and you, along with nam-gyu, walked over to sit down. thanos dropped back into his seat, slinging his arms around the two girls, who seemed more than happy about it.
you ordered a drink as soon as you saw an opening, your nerves slowly starting to settle. though, judging by the weird looks you got for passing on the white powder on the table and the little bags of funky-colored pills, not everyone was on the same page.
there were other people you didnât recognize lounging on the couchesâprobably some of nam-gyuâs friends or co-workers. thanos started rattling off introductions, including the girls, and as the alcohol finally started running through your veins, you felt yourself relaxing, settling into the atmosphere a little more.
you weren't sure how much time had passed, but the warmth of the alcohol was settling into your limbs, making everything feel just a little bit softer. the music vibrated through your chest, the flashing lights casting shifting colors over the VIP lounge, and you were beginning to understand why nam-gyu liked this place so much. it was loud, chaotic, a little grimyâbut undeniably alive.
"you good?" nam-gyu leaned in, voice low against your ear. his breath was warm, his hand sliding from your waist to rest on your thigh, fingers pressing absentminded circles into your skin.
"mhm," you hummed, tilting your head toward him. "itâs actually kinda fun."
"yeah?" he smirked, like he knew he'd be right all along. of course he did. "told you."
his hand squeezed your thigh lightly before retreating, but not before dragging his fingers a little too slow against your skin. you rolled your eyes, but you didn't move away.
"hey, hey!" thanos suddenly called out, raising his arms to make sure everyone was listening. "how about we play a game?"
some people groaned, others laughed. a game?
"what game?" someone asked. thanos smirked, clearly pleased that he had everyone's attention.
"never have i ever," he said, his grin widening as more groans followed.
"aren't we a little too old for that?" you asked, smirking like the idea amused you.
"i'm not." he shrugged. "are you girls?" he leaned back, and both girls shook their heads vigorously.
you turned to nam-gyu, who seemed more interested in watching you than the conversation. your cheeks warmed when you caught him staring.
"wanna play?" you asked. he just shrugged. he wasnât really into these kinds of gamesâhe wasnât into any games, reallyâbut he didnât care enough to argue. whatever passed the time.
eventually, everyone gathered around the table, all eyes on thanos as he ordered a round of the strongest drink he could think of for everyone.
the first few rounds were harmless enough. ânever have i ever gotten a secret tattoo.â ânever have i ever been arrested.â stupid things. you sipped your drink when necessary, laughing at some of the stories that followed, the warmth of the alcohol sinking deeper into your skin. nam-gyu barely participated, only taking a sip when he absolutely had to, but his hand had found its way back to your thigh, his fingers drumming absentmindedly against your skin.
then the questions started shifting.
"never have i ever hooked up in a club," one of thanosâ girls said, grinning like she already knew the answer for most people here. a bunch of hands reached for their drinks, nam-gyu included. you hesitated just a second too long before passing. his eyes flicked toward you, but he didnât say anything.
the next one wasnât any better.
"never have i ever had a one-night stand," some guy threw out. almost everyone drank. except you. you felt it before you even lookedânam-gyu was watching. his fingers stilled against your thigh for half a second before they resumed their lazy tapping, like he was processing something.
it wasnât weird, not really. plenty of people hadnât had one-night stands before. but it was the way you hesitated every time, the way your fingers toyed with the hem of your skirt, the way your throat bobbed as you swallowed.
"never have i ever had sex in a public place," thanos threw in, laughing when half the group groaned.
nam-gyu took a sip. you didnât.
you looked up at nam-gyu, meeting his gaze for just a second too long. you knew what he was thinking. knew he was piecing it together. maybe heâd already suspectedâmaybe he already knewâbut this was confirmation, wasnât it?
"wait," thanos interrupted, a slight crack in his voice from how drunk he was. "you're cheating!" he pointed at you.
"what? i'm not." you frowned, confused as everyone turned to look.
"câmon, your glass is almost full. you haven't been drinking."
he wasnât wrong. sure, youâd taken your fair share of gulps, but considering most people were on their second drinkâsome even on their thirdâit was true.
a flicker of anxiety crept in, the alcohol in your system making you let out a stupid giggle. "i'm not cheating," you shrugged shyly.
"she hasnât been drinking on the sex ones. i've seen it."
your smile vanished completely. one of the girls next to thanos had spoken, but it was nam-gyu you worried about. youâd caught him noticing earlier, but you kind of hoped he wouldnât actually put the pieces together.
hoped he wouldnât realize you were a virgin.
but now, with everyone watching, you were running out of luck.
"yeah, because... because i haven't done some of those things."
it was normal, you told yourself. being a virgin. the right time had never come, and you werenât about to give it up for some scumbag at a club. you knew you shouldnât be ashamed. but this? definitely not something you wanted everyone to know.
"what?" some guy blurted out, brows furrowed. "those were easy. you're telling me you never had a one-night stand?"
you pressed your lips together awkwardly. what did he expect you to say?
meanwhile, nam-gyu hadn't stopped watching you, his handâresting on your legânow completely still.
it was driving you nuts.
but as you looked over at thanos, you knew it was definitely over for you. a slow smile crept onto his previously confused expression as realization dawned. "holy shit, you're a virgin!"
your stomach twisted. a hot wave of embarrassment rushed up your neck, burning under the weight of every pair of eyes on you.
"what? no," you scoffed, trying for casual, but it came out a little too forced, a little too breathless.
thanosâ grin stretched wider. he could smell bullshit from a mile away. "oh, come on," he laughed, leaning forward like he was about to drag this out, like he was about to make it a thing.
panic prickled at the edges of your brain. you needed to get out of here. fast.
your phone. yes. a perfect excuse. you yanked it out of your bag, squinting at the screen like youâd just received the most urgent message of your life. "shit," you muttered. "i gotta go."
you were already pushing up from your seat before anyone could react. nam-gyu's hand slid off your thigh, his fingers barely catching against your skin before falling away completely.
"waitâwhat? already?"
"yeah, sorry," you said quickly, grabbing your coat, your bag, whatever you needed just to make a clean escape. "totally forgot i had something early tomorrow. canât stay."
someone called after you. maybe thanos. maybe one of the girls. you werenât sure. you werenât listening. you were already weaving through the crowd, heart hammering, barely remembering to toss a quick "bye!" over your shoulder before the club swallowed you whole.
still sitting on the couch, nam-gyu's mind was spinning, and he was barely even drunk.
of course you were a virgin.
it all made sense now. the way you looked at him sometimes, the hesitation, the way you could go from teasing to flustered in seconds. the way you pulled back like you werenât sure what would happen if you didnât. and maybe he shouldâve known, maybe it was obvious, but somehow, it still caught him off guard.
he hazily glanced toward where you'd just left, the rest of the crowd still laughing and talking around him.
nam-gyu wasnât the type to walk girls home.
but then again, he also wasnât the type to like girls.
so he did the only thing that made senseâhe downed the rest of his drink, got up without bothering to say goodbye, and pushed his way through the club.
it was late. the streets were dangerous. he didnât want you to die or whatever.
when he finally stepped out, the streets were dark, damp from earlier rain, and the air was sharp against his skin. he scanned the sidewalk, found you a few blocks ahead. you were walking fast, arms tucked close, head slightly down.
he hated this. hated how he cared. hated how natural it felt to push through the lingering crowd, to break into an easy jogâcasual enough to not look stupid, but fast enough to close the distance. he just hoped everyone else was too drunk to remember him, of all people, running after someone.
âhey!â he called out once he was just a few steps behind you.
you turned at the sound of his voice, startled.
he caught the flicker of something on your face before you wiped it awayâtoo fast, too practiced. a tear.
ânam-gyu?â you asked, confusion in your voice. âwhatââ
âiâll walk you home.â he shrugged, casual, like it was no big deal. like it was just something to do. he shoved his hands deep into his pockets as he caught up to you, his face carefully neutral.
you gulped. the last thing you wanted was to be around him right now.
âokay.â you trailed off, unsure of what else to say. how had it come to this? youâd survived hell together, yet suddenly, everything was so awkward. he wondered the same thing as he walked beside you, lighting up a cigarette.
you felt bad. it wasnât like you hadnât thought about it. a million times, actually. nam-gyu seemed so experienced, so mature, and you were just⊠a virgin. all those times youâd stopped things before they got too heated, all those times youâd held yourself back.
you werenât even boyfriend and girlfriend. you didnât want to burden him with the responsibility of taking your virginity. it was stupid, but you knew how men felt about it. they didnât want some little girl who didnât know what she was doing. they didnât want to deal with it.
so ever since the games, ever since you two had started⊠whatever this was, youâd felt like you were leading him on. you knew you couldnât keep it up forever. sooner or later, heâd find out and leave. you just hadnât expected it to be this soon.
after a whole block in silence, he finally spoke.
"so you're a virgin?" nam-gyu blurted out, though he already knew the answer.
it wasnât a judgment, just an observationâdry, matter-of-fact. he took a slow drag from his cigarette, the ember flaring briefly in the dim light before fading into the night air.
you cursed under your breath, shutting your eyes like that might somehow erase the last ten minutes of existence. as if not seeing him would make this less mortifying.
ââŠyeah.â the word barely made it past your lips, your voice low, hesitant.
when you finally risked a glance at him, he wasnât even looking at you. his gaze was fixed on the cracked pavement, the faintest furrow in his brow betraying some kind of thought process.
you sighed, arms crossing tightly over your chest. âi know it sucks. iâm sorry for not telling you, but itâs not exactly something that comes up after almost dying multiple times playing kidsâ games! likeâhey, i know we just survived the most traumatic experience of our lives, but by the way, iâm a fucking virââ
"'s fine."
the words were abrupt, cutting your rambling off before you could spiral any further.
you blinked, arms falling to your sides as you realized youâd been gesturing wildly, like that might somehow defend your own inexperience. meanwhile, nam-gyu just kept walking, cigarette perched between his fingers, deep in thought.
"really? you're fine with it?" you asked.
the truth was, nam-gyu wasnât exactly thrilled.
it wasnât even about you being a virgin, not really. it was the fact that heâd thought about fucking you ever since the games. which was humiliating enough to admit to himself. a man had his needs, after all. but once again, he found himself in the unfortunate position of giving a shit.
he exhaled sharply, rubbing a hand over his jaw.
"âŠyeah." his voice was low, clipped. he wasn't madâjust thinking. weighing his options. where would this leave you?
he hated himself for liking you this much. not being an asshole was unfamiliar territory.
"if you donât wanna have sex, i understand," he added after a beat.
you widened your eyes. "no, no!" you rushed out. "i do wanna have sex."
his brain stalled.
you swallowed, hesitating as he watched you, gaze steady but sharp, like he was trying to read between the lines. you shifted, tucking your hands into your sleeves. "i've just⊠never done it. and i donât know⊠i didnât wanna bother you or⊠anything."
it sounded beyond awkward.
nam-gyu frowned, processing. not because he thought anything bad about itâjust because it never occurred to him. heâd assumed you werenât interested in having sex at all, or that you were waiting for some deep, poetic reason, for someone that wasn't nam-gyu. but now you were here, telling him this, cheeks burning, voice all soft and uncertain.
and now he had to keep his shit together.
"so⊠you want me to, likeâŠ" his dick twitched in his pants, betraying him immediately. no way this was happening.
"i meanâonly if you want toâŠ" your cheeks were burning, you were sure of that now. you felt like a teenager talking to her crush.
if he wanted to? his jaw went slack for a second, a breath slipping out as he stared at you. it was barely a question.
"fuck yeah, i want to," he let out, low and firm, like he needed you to understand.
something shifted then. the air got tighter, the weight of the moment settling between you. you bit your lip, eyes flickering over his face like you were still trying to wrap your head around this. then, slowly, a smile crept onto your lipsâbreathless, nervous, electric.
"okay." you let out a shaky little laugh, grabbing his wrist. your grip was warm, solid, like youâd made up your mind and there was no going back now. "okay, letâs go."
nam-gyu nodded, following your lead, his heart hammering in his chest as he picked up the pace. your apartment wasnât that far.
the apartment was quiet when you stumbled in, breathless, a little drunk, and buzzing with something you didnât quite know how to name. nam-gyu followed, the door clicking shut behind him as he leaned back against it for a second, exhaling like he was trying to steady himself.
the air between you was thick, charged with a long time of yearning. your heartbeat thrummed in your ears as you toed off your shoes, glancing over at him. he was watching you, the way he always didâlike he was already thinking ten steps ahead, figuring out how this was going to play out.
he hadnât touched you yet. he was letting you decide.
so you did.
you took a step closer, then another, until you were right in front of him, your fingers hesitating before curling around the hem of his jacket. his breath hitched, just barely, and that was all the confirmation you needed.
you pushed up onto your toes, closing the space between you. his lips were warm, the taste of smoke lingering faintly as he kissed you back. he let you set the pace, his hands coming to rest lightly on your waist, thumbs brushing against the fabric of your dress.
it wasnât the first time youâd kissed, but something about this was different. more urgent. more deliberate. maybe because, for once, there was no stopping this time.
your fingers tugged at his jacket, slipping it off his shoulders. he let it fall to the floor, his hands finally pressing into you properly, gripping your waist, pulling you closer. a quiet sound slipped from your lips, and you felt the way he stiffened at that, his grip tightening.
âfuck,â he muttered, voice rough. he pulled back just enough to search your face, his dark eyes flicking between yours. âyou sure?â
you nodded, chest rising and falling with each breath. âyeah.â
a muscle in his jaw twitched. his fingers brushed the side of your neck, then curled around it, his thumb ghosting over your pulse. âwe stop if you change your mind.â
you swallowed. âi wonât.â
the look he gave you was unreadableâsomething dark and determinedâbefore he tilted your chin up, kissing you deeper this time, slower, like he wanted to make sure you felt every second of it.
nam-gyu wasnât softâhe wasnât sweet. he wasnât the kind of man to whisper tender nothings or stroke your hair. he didnât coddle. but the way his hands moved told you everything you needed to know.
the drag of his fingers down your spine. the slow, deliberate way his palm flattened against the small of your back, pressing you flush against him. the heat in his touch, like he was holding himself back, forcing himself to move slow, to let you set the pace. it sent a shiver through you, and his grip tightened in response, like he felt it too.
you let out a breath, your fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, and he exhaled sharply against your lips before pulling back just a fraction, enough to look at you properly. his dark eyes roamed over your face, pupils blown, jaw tight.
"you're nervous." it wasn't a question.
you swallowed. "a little."
his thumb brushed against your waist, almost absentmindedly. "yeah. that makes sense."
you let out a small, breathy laugh, but there was an edge of vulnerability to it. he could see it. you could tell.
he tilted his head, watching you like he was trying to figure something out. then he exhaled slowly, his fingers tracing over your skin with a gentleness that was completely at odds with the sharp, rough way he usually carried himself.
"you know i wonât fuck this up, right?" his voice was low, almost casual, but there was something else beneath it. something steadier.
you hesitated for half a second before nodding. "i know." and you did. maybe that was why you'd never let anyone else touch you like this before. because it wasnât about inexperience, not really. it was about trust.
and god help you, but you trusted nam-gyu.
the realization sent a flush through you, warmth blooming in your stomach as you let your hands slide up his abdomen, tracing the firm lines of chest beneath his shirt. his breath hitched just barely before his fingers flexed against you, like he was restraining himself from just taking.
"you wanna do this?" he asked, one last time, voice rough.
"yeah," you breathed.
his jaw clenched. "then tell me what you want."
you blinked up at him, suddenly hyperaware of the fact that he'd stopped moving, waiting, his hands resting heavy against your hips but not pulling, not pushing.
he was making you say it.
bastard.
you bit your lip, pulse hammering as you tried to work around the knot of tension in your throat. "iâi want you to touch me."
his fingers twitched, his entire body going still for a second. then he let out a breath through his nose, and his grip on your waist tightened.
"yeah?" his voice was just a little lower, a little rougher.
you nodded, heat pooling in your stomach at the way he was looking at you nowâlike he was barely keeping himself in check.
"get on the bed," he said.
your breath caught.
for a moment, you just stared at him, heart hammering, and then, slowly, you walked to your bedroom, him following you close. you backed up toward the bed, your knees hitting the edge as you lowered yourself down.
he followed, standing at the foot of the bed, watching you with that unreadable expressionâhalf lustful, half like he couldnât believe this was real. his hands went to his belt, and your eyes flickered down, pulse spiking at the sound of the leather slipping through the loops.
then, instead of undressing fully, he leaned down, hands bracketing your hips, pressing you back against the mattress.
"you ever let anyone touch you like this?" his voice was rough, like he already knew the answer.
you shook your head, breathless. "no."
a low sound escaped him, something dark, something pleased. his hands slipped under your skirt, palms dragging slow over your thighs as he pushed the fabric up. he took his time, tracing the shape of you, pressing just firmly enough to make you squirm.
"you thought about it, though," he murmured. it wasnât a question. his thumbs brushed the sensitive skin at the tops of your thighs, eyes locked onto yours.
you swallowed hard. "âŠyeah."
his lips twitched, almost a smirk. "yeah? thought about me?"
your face burned. he was being cruel on purpose, making you say it.
"âŠyes."
"fuck," he muttered, like the confirmation did something to him. his hands moved higher, fingers hooking into the band of your underwear, but instead of pulling them down, he let them rest there, teasing.
"howâd you think itâd go?" his voice was lower now, almost a growl. "thought i'd just take you fast, rough? pin you down, fuck the innocence out of you?"
you sucked in a sharp breath, thighs twitching beneath his touch. he huffed a quiet laugh.
"bet you didn't think i'd take my time," he murmured, leaning down, pressing his mouth to the side of your neck. his lips dragged over your pulse, then lower, leaving a slow, open-mouthed kiss against your collarbone. "but i like knowing i'm the first one."
you gasped softly as his hands finally moved, slipping under your top, dragging it up inch by inch until he could pull it over your head. your arms instinctively came up to cover yourself, but he caught your wrists, pushing them aside.
"none of that," he muttered, his gaze dropping to your bare chest. he exhaled sharply, running his thumbs along the curve of your breasts before cupping them fully, testing the weight in his palms.
"fuck, look at you," he muttered, voice low and reverent. "so fucking pretty."
you whimpered as his thumbs brushed over your nipples in slow circles. he watched your face the whole time, reading every tiny reaction, every sharp intake of breath.
"sensitive," he noted, almost to himself. then he leaned down, tongue flicking over one peak before wrapping his lips around it, sucking just enough to make you gasp.
heat coiled low in your stomach as he worked, alternating between each breast, slow and thorough. it was overwhelming, the way he was handling youânot rough, not rushed, just taking his time, learning every inch of you.
one of his hands trailed lower, down your stomach, to the waistband of your panties. he paused, looking up at you, waiting.
you nodded, exhaling shakily. "please."
his smirk deepened. "good girl."
he peeled your panties down your legs, his fingers skimming over your skin like he was savoring the moment. you shivered at the sensation, at the weight of his gaze as he settled between your thighs.
âfuck,â nam-gyu muttered under his breath, like he hadnât been prepared for what he was seeing. his hands splayed against your inner thighs, pressing them further apart, baring you completely to him. he didnât look away, eyes dark and hungry, his tongue running over his bottom lip like he could already taste you.
your body burned under the scrutiny. you werenât used to thisâbeing seen like this, having someone take their time looking. you twitched, about to press your legs together, but his grip tightened.
âuh-uh,â he murmured, almost amused. âyouâre gonna let me look.â
you swallowed hard, breath catching as he leaned in, his nose brushing the soft skin of your inner thigh. his breath was hot, sending a shiver through you as he exhaled, slow and controlled.
he dragged a single finger up the length of your slit, just enough to make you jolt, to make your breath stutter. "you're soaked, girl. you sure you've never done this before?"
heat surged through you at the teasing lilt in his voice, and you let out a shaky breath. "iâfuck, nam-gyuâ"
"yeah?" he smirked, but it wasnât cocky. it was something else, something almost fascinated. like he was enjoying this in a way he hadnât expected.
his fingers traced slow, teasing circles over your clit, barely any pressure, just enough to make you whimper. your hips twitched, and his grip tightened, keeping you pinned.
"relax," he murmured, his voice low, almost gentle. "let me make you feel good."
then he leaned down.
you barely had time to register the shift before his tongue was on you, warm and wet and unbearably slow. your breath caught, your fingers twisting into the sheets as his mouth worked you open, his tongue dragging through your folds, lazy and thorough.
"fuck," he muttered against you, his voice rough. "you taste so fucking sweet."
the way he said it sent a fresh wave of heat pooling in your stomach. his hands pressed into your thighs, spreading you wider, keeping you open as he ate you like he had all the time in the world.
it was overwhelmingâthe way he was licking you, slow and deep, like he was savoring it. like he was getting off on this just as much as you were. his nose brushed against your clit with every stroke of his tongue, and it was too much, not enough, all at once.
your back arched, a desperate sound slipping from your lips. he groaned low in his throat, the vibration sending a shudder through you. "that's it," he murmured, his voice almost slurred against your skin. "let me hear you."
one of his hands slid up, his thumb replacing his tongue on your clit, rubbing slow, tight circles as he pressed his mouth lower, flicking his tongue against your entrance, teasing the edge.
"nam-gyuâ" your voice broke on his name, breathless and desperate, and his grip tightened.
"fuck, you sound good," he muttered. his tongue pushed inside you, and the sensation sent a sharp bolt of pleasure up your spine, made your thighs shake.
"think you can take me?" he murmured, his voice muffled against your skin. "gotta get you ready for me."
you gasped as he pushed a finger inside, slow and steady, curling it just right. he groaned at the way you clenched around him, his tongue lapping up every reaction, every sound.
"shit," he muttered. "so tight. gonna feel so fucking good."
the words alone made your stomach tighten, the heat coiling low, winding tighter and tighter. he added a second finger, stretching you open, thrusting slow, deep, his tongue still working your clit.
it was too much. the pressure built fast, overwhelming, unbearable. your thighs trembled around his head, your fingers tightening in his hair.
"iâ" your breath hitched, your body tensing.
he growled low in his throat, his fingers pressing deep, his tongue flicking faster, relentless. "come for me."
and you did.
the pleasure hit hard, shattering through you, knocking the air from your lungs. your back arched, your body tightening around his fingers, and he groaned against you, drinking in every last tremor, working you through it, drawing it out until you were shaking beneath him, gasping for breath.
only then did he finally pull back, his breath ragged, his lips slick and swollen. he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes dark, almost feverish as he looked at you.
"fuck," he muttered, voice rough, almost awed.
he climbed up over you, pressing a slow, open-mouthed kiss to your jaw, then your lips, letting you taste yourself on his tongue. his hands framed your face, thumbs brushing against your skin, steadying you.
his exhale was sharp, controlled, but his grip on your waist betrayed himâfingers digging in, like he had to hold himself back from wrecking you completely. his forehead dropped to yours for half a second, just long enough for you to feel the way his breath came heavy, ragged.
"you're gonna kill me," he muttered, half a groan, half a laugh, before he pulled back, eyes flicking down your bodyâlike he was trying to commit every inch of you to memory. his fingers traced your thigh absentmindedly, like he still couldn't believe you were letting him touch you.
then he sat back, unbuttoning his jeans.
your breath hitched as you watched him work, his knuckles going white with how tightly he was gripping his belt. the leather slid through the loops with a sharp snap, and your thighs pressed together instinctively at the sound. his lips curled slightlyâhe noticed.
"don't get shy on me now," he murmured, voice thick with amusement, but he wasn't smirking anymore. no, his expression was darker, sharper. his fingers moved with slow, measured precision as he unzipped his jeans, pushing them down just enough to free himself.
your stomach flipped.
you had no idea what you'd been expecting, but whatever it wasâit wasn't this. he wasâŠbig. thick. a flush creeping up his shaft, his tip swollen and slick with arousal. you stared, suddenly feeling very aware of your own inexperience, of the way your body still trembled faintly from the orgasm he'd just given you.
nam-gyu noticed.
"yeah?" his voice was rough, teasing, but there was something else beneath itâsomething dangerously satisfied. his fingers wrapped around the base of his cock, giving it a slow, lazy stroke, like he was savoring the moment. "that nervous?"
you swallowed hard, forcing your eyes back to his face. he looked wrecked, his dark hair falling into his eyes, his mouth slightly parted. his chest rose and fell heavily, like it was taking effort not to just pin you down and takeâ
"i can take it," you said, before you could second-guess yourself. your voice was breathless but steady, your chin tilting up just slightly in challenge.
his jaw locked.
for a second, he just looked at you, his gaze flickering between your eyes and your lips, like he was seeing youâreally seeing youâfor the first time. then, suddenly, his grip on your waist tightened, dragging you down the mattress until your thighs framed his hips.
"yeah," he murmured, almost to himself. his hand brushed over your stomach, your hip, sliding back down between your legs. his fingers traced your entrance, feeling the way you were still soaked for him. "i think you can, too."
your breath stuttered as he pressed two fingers inside you again, stretching you open. his thumb found your clit, rubbing soft, teasing circlesânot enough to push you over, just enough to make your breath hitch.
"nam-gyuâ" you gasped, hips twitching under his touch.
his free hand came up, catching your chin, tilting your head so you had to look at him. his eyes were dark, blown out with something almost ravenous.
"you still sure?" he murmured, voice low. "tell me you want it."
your pulse pounded.
you could feel how badly he wanted you, how much effort it was taking for him to hold back. and yetâhe still gave you the choice. he was still waiting.
your heart clenched.
"yes," you whispered. "please."
his restraint snapped.
the second your lips formed that word, he was on youâpulling his fingers from your slick heat, gripping himself, pressing the thick, flushed head of his cock right against your entrance. he didn't push in. not yet. instead, he rocked against you, rubbing his length along your slit, smearing himself in your wetness, letting you feel every ridge, every inch of his size before he even tried to fit.
your breath hitched. your nails dug deep into his forearms, your body instinctively tensing.
"relax," he murmured, voice tight, nearly hoarse, like he was fighting against the instinct to just take. his free hand smoothed up your thigh, over the curve of your waist, warm, steady, grounding. "breathe."
you tried. you really did. forced your lungs to expand, to exhale, to let go of the tension gripping your muscles. but the second he started to push in, all that breath stuttered out in a sharp, broken gasp.
it was too much. the stretch, the slow, inch-by-inch burn as his cock forced your body to open around him, to take him. a kind of ache youâd never felt before, raw and overwhelmingâtoo much and not enough, like your body was fighting him even as it craved more.
"fuck," he gritted out, his jaw clenching so tight you could see the muscle jump. his hands flexed against your skin, his entire body trembling with restraint. "jesus, babyâyou're so fucking tightâ"
your stomach flipped at the words, heat pooling deep in your core. he never talked to you like that. never called you things like that. but now, here he was, panting above you, voice wrecked and reverent, murmuring praise like he couldnât help it.
after a few seconds, you whimpered, hands gripping his shoulders. "more."
his control broke.
he pushed in, slow but deep, a smooth, deliberate thrust that seated him all the way inside you in one stroke. your breath tore from your lungs, your back arching as the stretch bloomed into something fuller, hotter, the ache curling into something dangerously close to pleasure.
nam-gyu groaned, dropping his forehead against your shoulder. "holy fuck," he rasped, voice wrecked, almost pained. his fingers dug into your hips, like he was holding on for dear life. "so fucking goodâyou're so tight, so perfect, fuckâ"
your pulse pounded in your throat, your entire body thrumming with sensation. there was still a burn, still that overwhelming fullness, but beneath it was something elseâsomething deeper, something good.
you shifted your hips, testing, trying to ease the pressure.
his entire body locked up.
"don'tâ" his voice was strangled, desperate. his hands tightened, pinning you down. "don't fucking move, or iâm gonna lose it."
every muscle in his body was taut, locked, like a predator barely holding back from sinking its teeth in. his fingers bit into your hips, warning you, anchoring himselfâbut you could feel it. the way he was shaking. the way his cock twitched, buried so deep inside you you swore you could feel him in your stomach.
you swallowed hard, pulse hammering, skin burning where he touched you.
it was too much. too deep. too thick. your body fought to adjust, pulsing around him in helpless, desperate flutters.
he groaned, low and guttural, pressing his forehead harder into your shoulder like he was in pain. âjesus christ.â his breath was hot against your skin, ragged, almost like he was laughing. âgripping me so fucking tight. gonna break me."
you shivered at the rasp of his voice, your fingers sliding up his back, feeling the strain in his muscles. the raw need in him. you were doing this to him. you, all wet and trembling underneath him, still adjusting, still unsureâand he was losing his mind over it.
you swallowed, tried to steady your breath. "you can move," you whispered.
his entire body tensed.
you barely had a second to register the shift before he pulled back, just an inch, and thenâslow, deepâhe thrust in again.
your breath shattered. your mouth fell open, no sound coming out at first, just a strangled, breathless whimper.
then, before you could so much as blink, he started movingâpulling out halfway before snapping his hips forward again, setting a rhythm that had your breath stuttering in your throat.
he wasn't just fucking youâhe was making sure you felt every inch of him, dragging it out, taking his time. and god help you, but it felt so fucking good.
"shitâ" you gasped, fingers twisting in the sheets.
his hand slipped between you, his thumb pressing right against your clit, rubbing in time with his thrusts. your entire body jerked, pleasure sparking through your nerves like lightning.
"yeah," he muttered, watching you like he was starving. "thatâs it. let me see you fucking fall apart."
nam-gyuâs rhythm grew rougher, sharperâhis control slipping, his hips snapping forward with a force that had you gasping, clawing at his back. every thick inch of him dragged against your walls, the stretch now molten pleasure, the overwhelming feeling of fullness making your head spin. his body caged you in completely, heat rolling off him in waves, his skin slick with sweat.
"fuck," he rasped, voice ragged, his breath hot against your lips. "listen to you." his thumb pressed harder against your clit, rubbing tight, deliberate circles. "moaning like thatâso fucking needy, arenât you?"
"fuck," you gasped, your nails raking down his back, desperate for more.
nam-gyu groaned, dropping his head to your neck, his breath hot against your skin. "shit, you're taking me so fucking good," he muttered, his teeth grazing over your throat before he kissed you thereâopen-mouthed and messy, dragging his tongue over your pulse like he could taste how wrecked you were for him. "never had anyone inside you, huh? no oneâs ever had you like thisâ"
his words made your stomach flip, a desperate, aching heat blooming in your core. you shook your head, gasping. "noâ"
"fuck, baby," he groaned. "you donât even fucking knowâ" his lips found your collarbone, biting down just enough to make you jolt, his tongue flicking out to soothe the sting. "how long i've been thinking about this. how long i've wanted to have my cock inside this pretty pussy."
his hands slid up, gripping your tits, squeezing, kneading the soft flesh in his palms. his fingers flicked over your nipples, rolling them between his fingertips, and you whimpered, the pleasure making you arch into his touch.
nam-gyu groaned, his tongue darting out to trace the swell of your breast before his mouth wrapped around your nipple, sucking hard.
"oh my godâ" your back arched, your fingers twisting into his dark hair, holding him there.
he chuckled, a low, breathy sound against your skin, his tongue flicking over the sensitive peak before he sucked again, harder this time, drawing a desperate whine from your lips. his hips kept moving, slow but deep, every thrust sending a new wave of pleasure through you, making your stomach coil tighter.
"you're so fucking good," he murmured against your skin, moving to your other breast, giving it the same attentionâhis lips wrapping around the stiff peak, sucking, his teeth grazing just enough to make you gasp. "so fucking tight, taking me so wellâfuck, i knew you would."
you whimpered, the heat inside you winding tight, too much and not enough at the same time. your thighs trembled around his waist, your nails dragging down his back.
"nam-gyu," you gasped, voice wrecked, desperate. "pleaseâ"
"please what?" he pulled back just enough to look at you, his lips swollen, his eyes dark, burning with something almost possessive. his fingers slid down between you, finding your clit again, circling it with slow, precise movements. "tell me what you need, baby."
you sobbed at the pressure, at the way it made your body twitch beneath him. "iâi wanna cumâ"
his jaw tightened, his thrusts growing sharper, faster, the wet sounds of your bodies moving together filling the room.
"yeah?" his voice was strained, breathless. "you wanna cum all over my fucking cock?"
"yesâyesâ"
"then do it."
he pinched your clit, just the right amount of pressure, and the coil inside you snapped.
your orgasm hit hard, crashing over you in sharp, shuddering waves, making your entire body lock up beneath him. you let out a high, broken moan, your walls fluttering around him, pulsing, milking his cock as he fucked you through it.
"fuckâfuckâ" nam-gyu groaned, his hips stuttering as you clenched around him, the tight grip of your body dragging him right to the fucking edge.
"shit," he rasped, his forehead dropping to your shoulder, his fingers digging into your hips as he snapped his hips forward, harder, rougher. "gonnaâfuck, gonna fill you upâ"
your entire body shuddered at his words, at the realization of what he was about to do, and you let out a breathless, desperate "please."
that was all it took.
he came, hard, his body trembling as he filled you, his grip tightening almost painfully as he groaned your name, pressing his forehead to yours, his breath ragged, wrecked.
the heat of him spilling inside you made your entire body tremble.
he didnât pull out right away. he stayed, breathing heavy, pressing messy, open-mouthed kisses to your jaw, your cheek, your lips. his handsâno longer rough, no longer grippingâslid soft over your skin, smoothing down your sides, your waist, your thighs, as if he was soothing you.
you were still shaking, your body aching in the best possible way, your mind swimming in a haze of heat and exhaustion.
nam-gyu shifted, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you close. his lips pressed to your temple, then your cheek, thenâfinallyâsoft against your lips.
"youâre a fucking dream," he murmured almost to himself, voice soft, like he couldnât quite believe this was real.
your heart skipped.
then, before you could say anything, before you could thinkâ
his hips rolled again, slow, lazy, his cock starting to harden again inside you.
"think you can handle another one?"
ââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
© servndipityz 2025 â all rights reserved. do not modify, repost, translate, or plagiarise my content without my permission.
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Sunset in Shinjuku
#art tag#my art#I'm so sorry I can't finish anything recently#but I still needed to express my FEELINGS#about these AWFUL LITTLE DOOMED TEENAGERS#jjk manga spoilers#jjk spoilers#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen spoilers#jujutsu kaisen#nobara kugisaki#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushikugi#I halfway rendered this and hated it so much I just went back to the sketch#edit: I fucking. got the name of the district wrong they were fighting Sukuna in Shinjuku I'm an idiot
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Chapter 7- For The First Time
Summary: Eight days ago, you kissed Frankie Morales for the first time. Eight days later, you want to do more than just kiss him.
Word count: 8.6K
Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!reader (reader has a name/nickname, no use of y/n)
Warnings: SMUT (18+) protected p in v sex, loss of virginity/first sexual experience for Frankie and Reader (some brief mentions of momentary discomfort bc of it) oral (f receiving- building the lore for Pussy Eating King Francisco Morales brick by brick), vaginal fingering, Frankie's got a big dick (it's also part of the lore, don't @ me) sweet and awkward teenage love, Frankie being everything and more, lots and lots and lots of consent, a four letter word that starts with an L, please don't yell at me, they're both 18 at this point in the story!!!
A/N: Soooooo all of a sudden I blinked a this was 8K plus words WHOOPS đ€ I ain't gonna lie with y'all, this may be one of my favorite things I've ever written and have cried the whole way through it đ My plan was to have Frankie picking up MacKenzie from work in this chapter too, but obviously things got away from me very quickly, so that will be next chapter's problem!! Your kind words about this story mean so much to me, I really hope you guys enjoy this chapter as much as I've enjoyed writing it!!! đ„șđ
All The Things We Never Said Masterlist
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You, Summer of 2007, Age 18Â
123 days.Â
That night Frankie told you he had made up his mind to join the Army after he finished with high school, you counted out every square on your calendar from April 15th to August 16th. You had 123 days left together before you left for college and Frankie left for boot camp.Â
But April 15th was 2 months ago. 67 days ago, to be exact. Each day you crossed off your calendar filled you with a little more dread than the last. You tried not to think about the dwindling number, or the impending doom of August hanging behind July and June on the wall above your desk, but it was hard to not let the thought constantly nag in the back of your mind that the carefree summer days of spending practically every waking minute with Frankie were coming to an end.Â
The only thing that seemed to put you at ease was just that- after the hurt and sadness of Frankieâs departure had subsided enough, you had promised each other that the last bit of time you had together, youâd do everything in your power to make the most of it.Â
If there was anything you knew the other was good for, it was keeping a promise.Â
There was no denying that the past 67 days spent with Frankie had been nothing short of magical. It seemed like for once in your life, everything was falling into place exactly how you wanted it to.Â
Your soccer team had won the state championship, Frankie being the first to rush onto the field to congratulate you on your victory after cheering for you at the top of his lungs the whole game. The stress of school seemed to become irrelevant, your teachers easing up as you came to the close of your Senior year, you and Frankieâs after school hangouts now focused less on homework and more on goofing around. Graduation had come and gone, you and Frankie both walking across the stage of your high school gym, diplomas in hand, teasing the other relentlessly about how awful the other looked in the stupid, tasseled caps they had forced you to wear.Â
Then, there was prom.
It had been no question that you and Frankie were going to prom together- it was an unspoken, standing agreement that the both of you had since the start of your senior year. For as much as homecomings or school dances had never been your (or Frankieâs) preferred way to spend a Saturday night, there was an undeniable excitement you had about it you couldnât really quite describe. You kept chalking it up to the fact it was the biggest night of your senior year, or that all your best friends were gathering together to have an incredible party filled with dancing and fun.Â
But neither of those things could account for the butterflies in your stomach when Frankie showed up at your front door, tuxedo on and flowers in hand, watching his jaw drop and heart stop when he laid eyes on you.Â
âYou look beautiful, MacKenzie.âÂ
From that moment on, those 4 words hadnât stopped ringing in your ears.Â
They rang in your ears as he held your hand the entire night, refusing to unlock his fingers from yours.Â
They rang in your ears as you felt him grab your waist while you danced.Â
They rang in your ears as he lovinging teased you about your drunken hiccups off sips of stolen beer cans in Santiâs basement where the party had traveled to long after prom had finished.Â
They rang in your ears in the middle of your moonlit street as Frankie walked you home, making it no less than ten steps past Santiâs porch before he froze, staring at you like a trembling deer in headlights.
âWhatâs wrong, weirdo?âÂ
âThereâs something I wanna do. Iâm terrified youâll hate me forever if I do it, but Iâve wanted to for so long and I donât think I can wait anymore.âÂ
âFrankie, what are you-âÂ
âCan I kiss you, MacKenzie? Fuck, I wanna kiss you so bad.âÂ
âF-Frankie, I-âÂ
âFuck. Fuck, Iâm sorry, I shouldnât have said anything. Just forget that I-âÂ
âI was scared you would never ask.âÂ
It wasnât until then you realized just how badly you wanted to kiss Frankie Morales.Â
Now, youâre absolutely sure that you never want to stop kissing him.Â
Thereâs something about the warmed, welcomed June air that makes you want to throw every caution youâve ever had to the wind, finally understanding what all of those books and movies had meant about falling victim to a summer fling.
Ever since that night at prom, Frankie Morales was the only thing in the world that mattered. It had only been eight days since his lips had met yours under the midnight moon, but every day since, neither of you had passed up a chance to sneak away for stolen kisses and bodies tangled in messy dances of limbs, finding any excuse to spend a moment alone together.Â
Maybe your pink cheeks and goofy grins were enough to let the world know how hard you had fallen for your best friend- even if they werenât, you wouldnât care. Right now, consequences don't exist.Â
Right now, the only thing that does is you, Frankie, and a four letter word that lingers in the back of your mind.Â
They especially donât exist when youâre wide awake at one in the morning for the third night in a row, unable to sleep as butterflies rumble in your stomach and fly up to your chest after another day spent with the boy four doors down.Â
You toss and turn under your sheets, unable to stand staring hopelessly at your ceiling another minute. You reach across your bed, plucking your phone off your nightstand, finding Frankieâs name in your messages.Â
You:Â
Hey, are you still up? I canât sleepÂ
Itâs barely ten seconds before his contact is lighting up your screen, making your heartbeat just a little faster.
Frankie :) <3
Im up 2. I cant sleep eitherÂ
Cant stop thinking about uÂ
You:Â
Me either, even though we literally spent all day together hahaÂ
You smile at your screen as you wait for Frankieâs response, fingers anxiously tapping on your keyboard until your phone lights up again.Â
Frankie :) <3
Do u wanna come over?Â
I wanna see uÂ
Your face scrunches in confusion, sitting up in your bed to peer out your window, like Frankie would be able to see your puzzled expression from down the street as you type back.Â
You:Â
I mean, yeah, but itâs 1 AM Frankie??? What about your mom?Â
Frankie :) <3Â
Shes working overnight at the hospitalÂ
She wont be back until like 9 tomorrowÂ
Its just meÂ
Youâre unsure of how to describe the feeling thatâs beginning to brew in your stomach as you read his last three texts. A strange mix of excitement and anticipation washes through you at the idea of letting yourself indulge in the teenage rebellion of sneaking out of your house in the middle of the night. An even stranger mix of nerves and something else you canât quite explain floods your veins at the idea of sneaking out of your house to find Frankie, alone in his bedroom.Â
The feeling you quite canât explain churns faster in your gut and travels down your lower half when you realize if youâre alone with Frankie in his bedroom, you want to do more than just kiss him.Â
You:Â
Are you sure??Â
Frankie :) <3
PromiseÂ
I really wanna see u KenzÂ
At this point, the strange feeling thatâs seeped through every inch of your body must have made it to your brain, because youâre convinced itâs the reason you donât know how to breathe anymore.Â
You:Â
OkayÂ
Iâll be over in 10 :)Â
Frankie :) <3Â
Ok :)Â
Come in thru the back door Â
Txt me when ur there and ill let u inÂ
Youâve never been up and out of your bed so quickly, fumbling with your comforter and pillows just enough to resemble something close to a body under your sheets if god forbid either one of your parents wakes up and decides to check on you for the first time since you were a toddler.Â
Your breath trembles, inhaling and exhaling in long and deep rises of your chest, carefully tiptoeing across your bedroom floor. Youâd give anything to be in something cuter than your pajamas, but opening your closet seems like too risky of a move in your plot to escape.Â
You grab Frankieâs sweatshirt hanging over your desk chair, quietly shuffling it over your head before attempting to use the moonlight spilling in through your window as enough illumination to comb your fingers through your messy hair and wrangle it into a quick braid. Itâs hard to tell from the half lit reflection staring back at you in the mirror, but you pray the once over you give yourself is enough to keep you from looking like a complete mess when you show up at Frankieâs door.Â
The adrenaline of it all seems to kick your nerves to the curb as you stuff your phone in Frankieâs sweatshirt pocket before your fingers gently wrap around the curve of your doorknob. As soon as you open the door, youâre well aware of the ramifications that could await you on the other side.Â
Youâre also well aware that consequences are temporary, and no amount of fear of future punishment is keeping you from making it to Frankieâs bedroom tonight.Â
Itâs a James Bond worthy performance, the way you sneak down your staircase, avoiding every crack and creak with expertise, stealthily sliding past your parents bedroom and across the family room until youâve crept through your kitchen to find your back patio.
You flinch with every squeal of the sliding glass door as you nudge it open, just enough to squeeze your body through. You grimace your face in fear as you pause, back to the bricks of your house, waiting for someone to catch you in the act.Â
A few moments pass and the silence of your home stays stagnant, giving you the all clear to bolt across your backyard, dashing through your neighbors lawns until you find yourself at Frankieâs, hands shaking as your fingers punch at your keyboard.Â
You:Â
Iâm here! Let me in! Â
As your thumb presses send, your adrenaline has waived just enough to let the anxious tension take hold of your body, palms sweating and heart racing so fast it just may beat out of your chest. Your teeth gnaw at your fingernails, waiting for his response to text you that heâll be right there, or heâs about to let you in, but this is Frankie- It should be no surprise when he opens the back door immediately. Thereâs not a chance in hell he hasnât been waiting for you down here since the moment you texted him you were coming.Â
âHi.â You whisper, biting down your lip to contain the smile thatâs spread across your face as heâs opened the door.Â
âHi.â He whispers back, tongue darting between his lips as his eyes wander up and down your frame before locking with yours.Â
His palm grazes your cheek, cradling your jaw as he steps into you, chest to chest while your lips lock in a gentle, electric kiss, the kind that makes you want the taste of him to linger on your tongue forever.Â
âYou wanna go up to my room?â He asks, the hot breath of his words dancing across your skin as his mouth still hovers over yours.Â
Before, you would have quipped him with some sort of witty, sarcastic response, teasing him that youâd rather stay out in the pitch black and get eaten by mosquitos until he dragged you inside, eyes rolling at your sass. Now, the best you can manage are shaky breaths while you nod your head in agreement, praying your brain will let you form some sort of coherent thought before you speak.Â
Frankie grabs your hand as he pulls you into his house, taking the familiar path through his kitchen and up the stairs to his bedroom, the pounding in both your chests filling the silence for the words you seem to lack.Â
He doesnât even bother closing the door behind him as you make it to his room, your bodies tangling and intertwining in a frantic dance, stumbling across the floor until the backs of Frankieâs knees collide with the bed, the two of you toppling over in soft giggles onto the mattress.Â
âFuck, I missed you.â Frankie sighs, one arm wrapped around your hip and the other resting on your face as he leans back in for another kiss, your smiles pressed against each other.Â
âItâs only been like, three hours since I saw you last, dummy,â You quietly snicker, letting your hands wander up his chest, âYou really missed me that much?âÂ
âYeah, really.â He replies in between kisses, fingers digging just a little bit deeper into your side, âI canât stop thinking about you, Kenzie. Youâre all I think about. Youâre all I ever wanna think about.âÂ
You try to swallow the lump thatâs lingering in your throat, but with each second that passes, it seems to grow, trapping the words your brain is fighting to get out. The simple bliss youâve found in pressing your mouth to Frankieâs has become overshadowed by the looming tension spreading through you as you imagine the soft plush of his lips across your skin, or the way you want his hands to creep down the waistband of your shorts and ease the ache thatâs been building between your legs.Â
Your body freezes at the realization that you want to tell him that you canât stop thinking about him either, that you canât stop thinking about the fact you want more than just his lips pressed against yours, how you want him to be the first one you feel inside you, that heâs the only one you ever want.Â
That thereâs nothing more than you want to be his.Â
It doesnât take long for Frankie to realize heâs making out with a half open mouth, pulling away with concern as he studies the pained expression across your face.Â
âKenz, a-are, are you okay? D-did I do something wrong?â Frankie stammers, gulping as he shifts himself to follow your lead and sit up on the bed.Â
âN-no, no, itâs just that- fuck- I just- fuck, I donât know how to say this.â You stutter, face growing hotter and hotter as you furrow your brow, eyes peeled to Frankieâs blue and green plaid sheets as you try to find the words you want so desperately for him to hear.
Frankie reaches out his hand, gently resting it on the bare skin of your thigh, just below the hem of your pajama shorts. You glance down at the way his fingers carefully rub back and forth, trying to calm your nerves enough to look at him.Â
âItâs okay, Kenzie. Whatever it is, Iâm- Iâm here to listen.â He responds, trying his best to be the anchor in your storm, despite his own nearly shot nerves.Â
âI- I- I really like you, Frankie.âÂ
âI really like you too, Kenz.â He smiles softly, just enough teasing inflection in his tone to get you to giggle, just a little.Â
âI just- I- um, do you- Frankie, do you- do you ever think about doing more than just kissing me?âÂ
A stark silence fills the room, quiet enough that each breath through your nose and thump in your chest amplifies and echoes in the space between you. You gnaw at the inside of your cheek watching Frankieâs face go blank, eyes widening with every second he lets your question process. His Adamâs Apple bobs in sync with the trembling exhale he takes before he looks back at you, praying that your word vomit hasnât led to a detrimental mistake.Â
âDo um, holy shit- you mean like, l-like what? Like, like, h-having sex? W-w-with you?âÂ
Heâs panting like heâs just finished a marathon, his eyes darting wildly between you and his sheets, terrified to answer your question with anything else but his own question to make sure heâs really just heard what you said.Â
The tops of your teeth dig into your bottom lip as you nod your head just enough, the subtle shake just enough to let him confirm his suspicions that youâre asking as a way of letting him know how often itâs crossed your mind.Â
âY-yeah. Yeah, I think about it.â He stammers, feeling his fingers tremble against your skin, hand still resting on your thigh, âD-do- do you? Um, think about it?âÂ
âYeah.â You whisper, voice shaking as you reach down to lay your hand over his, letting your fingers slide between the gaps between his knuckles until they intertwine, gripping each other tightly, there was no chance the other could float away.Â
The silence shifts to a different type of tension, a thickness in the air so palpable, it makes it just as hard to move as it does to breathe. The two of you stare at the interlocked hand resting on your thigh, stuck in a game of chicken of who dares to make the first move into the uncharted territory youâve entered.Â
âI- Iâve never-âÂ
âMe either.â Frankie interjects, cutting off the end of your statement.
Itâs almost humorous to admit it out loud, like the both of you didnât already share every detail of your lives with one another, and had somehow managed to let this fact fall between the cracks.
The two of you let out quiet laughs to yourselves, finding comfort in the comradery to work up enough courage to let your gazes meet again, wondering if Frankie can see the same yearning in your eyes as you see reflected in the soft brown his.Â
âMacKenzie, I- I-â he mutters, scrunching his face with his swallow, trying to compose himself, âI only wanna do what you wanna do. I donât- um, I donât want you to think that if- if you donât want to, o-or whatever, that I would be mad. I promise I would never, ever be mad at you because of that. Y-you know that, right?âÂ
âI know.âÂ
Thereâs not a part of you that doubts it. Not for a second. You know that thereâs no one else on the face of this earth you trust more than him.Â
There could be no one else but him.Â
âYou know I would never be mad at you either, right?â You ask, relieved as you watch Frankie gently nod his head.Â
Youâre not sure if itâs instinct or the weight of the tension that makes you lean into him, foreheads pressing together so that the messy curls of his sleepy hair are tickling your skin. You can hear how hard his heart is beating, waiting on your every breath as he leans back into you.Â
âI want to. I want you, Frankie.âÂ
âF-fuck- Are you sure?â He asks, his free hand creeping across the sheets, carefully sliding up your thigh and under his sweatshirt youâre wearing, letting his fingers toy at the softness of your stomach and the waistband of your shorts.Â
âIâm sure.â You whisper back, your own hand traveling up his leg and towards the tented fabric of his pajama bottoms.Â
âI-if itâs too much, t-tell me to stop, okay? I promise Iâll take care of you, MacKenzie.âÂ
âI know you will. I trust you, Frankie.âÂ
âO-okay.âÂ
âOkay.âÂ
Itâs then your mouths crash together in a messy dance of tounges and teeth, an instant electricity igniting in your core with anticipation and want. Itâs frantic yet sensual, the way thereâs nothing more you want than him, but canât bear to miss a moment to take it all in, savoring every second you melt into him.
As your hands wander across each otherâs bodies, Frankie shifts you to lay on your back so he can cage his frame over yours, the ends of his fingers barely daring to roam any farther than just below your hips or too far above your stomach.Â
âC-can I take off your shirt?â He asks, already breathless at just the sight of you underneath him.Â
âTechnically your shirt, Morales.â You smirk, making his cheeks turn even more pink at the way you giggle when you say his name.Â
âItâs yours now, looks way better on you than it does on me. Drives me fucking crazy seeing you in my clothes, Kenz.â He grins, carefully tugging your sweatshirt and the shirt underneath it above your head as you lift up your arms, helping him wriggle it free.Â
As you pop out from under the fabric, the first thing you notice is the way Frankieâs jaw is hanging open, eyes wide as can be as they stay glued to your bare chest.Â
âHoly shit.â Frankie whispers to himself, tongue darting between his lips, staring at the way your nipples have hardened from being exposed and aroused. âUm, w-wow.âÂ
Seeing you topless sparks something in him to do the same, reaching over his shoulder to tug his t-shirt off his back and over his head, leaving nowhere for the heave of each heavy rise and fall of your chests to hide.Â
Slowly, Frankie lets his hands slide up your stomach until heâs palming your breasts, grouping each one in his hands, making your breath hitch in the back of your throat as his fingers brush against your sensitive buds.Â
He leans down to kiss you, starting at your lips before trailing down your neck and collarbone, until he reaches your chest, carefully kissing each handful he has in his grasp.Â
Youâve never felt your core ache the way it does now, throbbing with want and need for more, just from the way Frankieâs groping you. Itâs not an unfamiliar feeling- youâve touched yourself before with this exact scenario playing in your mind, but never has it made you feel like this.Â
âY-you can take off my shorts, i-if you want.âÂ
âO-kay.âÂ
The gentleness of Frankieâs gaze makes your heart skip a beat, the chocolate brown of his eyes locked on yours as he scoots himself down the bed until he finds himself settled between your legs, now parted open for him.Â
Itâs then youâre overtly aware that Frankie is about to see you completely naked, a new wave of anxiety crashing through you as heat rises in your cheeks and makes you fidget the fabric of his sheets between your fingers.Â
âI- I- Iâm not wearing cute underwear. S-sorry.â You stammer, wincing as Frankieâs thumbs begin to dip below your waistband.Â
âSeriously, Kenz?â He chuckles, pausing in his tracks to shake his head in disbelief, âDo you really think I care what underwear you have on right now?âÂ
âWell, n-no, but-âÂ
âYou really think Iâm about to turn down having sex with you because youâre not in the right underwear? That you wonât even have on in like, three seconds?â Frankie snickers, trying to help ease your clearly visible nerves.Â
âShut up.â You sigh, rolling your eyes as you playfully swat at him, forgetting about the fact you were topless and immediately clamming up again as you felt your breasts sway against your chest. âS-sorry, I- Iâm just kinda nervous.âÂ
âWhy are you nervous?â Frankie questions gently, wrapping his hand around your calf, thumb softly circling your skin.Â
âWell youâre about to see me naked for the first time, Frankie. I think thatâs a pretty fair reason to be nervous.â You force the stifled laugh stuck in your throat, attempting to uphold any confidence you have left in your facade.Â
âYouâre about to see me naked too, Kenz. Would it make you feel better if you saw me pantless first?âÂ
He says it like heâs teasing, but you know thereâs a part of him thatâs serious- that heâd do anything to make you feel better, even something as simple as being the first to forgo any clothes on his bottom half.Â
âNo, I know, Frankie, itâs just-âÂ
âDo you know how beautiful I think you are?âÂ
It catches you off guard, how quick he is to stifle your protest, the warmth of his words flushing your cheeks, now shifting to fit the delicate grin thatâs growing between them.Â
âYouâre so beautiful, MacKenzie. Everything about you, I swear.âÂ
He must feel the butterflies churning in your stomach, his hands sliding down your thighs to grab your sides, leaning over to press soft kisses just above your waistband. He stares up at you once more, giving each other subtle nods of reassurance as his fingers play with the elastic, carefully helping you to lift your hips just enough to shuffle your bottoms down your legs until theyâre a crumpled pile on the floor.Â
It eases the tension thatâs built throughout your body as you watch in real time how Frankieâs brain short circuits, mesmerized by the view thatâs revealed itself between your legs. You timidly squirm your lower half against the sheets, just enough to feel the sticky warmth of your arousal thatâs been pooling since the minute you stepped foot in Frankieâs bedroom.Â
âH-holy- holy fuck. O-oh my god.â Frankie murmurs to himself, eyes locked on the puffy, wet mess of your pussy, âMacKenzie, I- wow. C-can, um, can I touch you?âÂ
âMmhmm. Y-you can touch me, Frankie. F-fuck, I want you to. Please.â You whisper, letting your legs part for him more, clit pulsing with anticipation to feel Frankieâs fingers.Â
âI-if it doesnât feel good o-or, you know, you want me to stop, just tell me, okay?âÂ
âOkay, Frankie.âÂ
You didnât even know it was possible to feel this wound up, every throb of your core pulsing through your body with so much intensity youâre convinced you may explode if Frankie doesnât touch you this second.Â
The pads his fingers gently slide over your swollen lips, collecting the slick that clings to them before he brings them to your clit, his precise and delicate touch still making you gasp the moment he starts to circle around your sensitive nub. He swirls his fingers with the lightest touch like youâre made of glass, scared heâll break you if he dares to push too hard.Â
âYou can, fuck- you can press more if you want.âÂ
âOkay. I just- I didnât wanna hurt you, or anything.âÂ
The corner of your lips curl with a soft smile, the stiffness in your muscles relaxing with how warm and safe he makes you feel.Â
âI-in the same place, though? Same circles, just like, more pressure?â He asks, quietly calculating his next move as you shake your head in response.Â
Frankie begins to circle again, slowly increasing the weight of his fingers against your clit, brushing against it in just the right way to make you whimper in delight.Â
âOh my god-â You sigh, breath hitching in the back of your throat.Â
âGood oh my god, or bad oh my god?â Frankie questions, terrified heâs done something to upset you.Â
âNo- no, good oh my god. K-keep doing that.â You stammer, pulse quickening as a familiar tingle of pleasure begins to build in your stomach.Â
Your reassurance gives Frankie the boost of confidence he needs, drawing tight circles around your nub with the pads of his fingers for a few moments, until his thumb takes over, leaving his middle two fingers free, ghosting over your entrance.Â
Thereâs a louder moan as Frankie barely slips his middle finger inside of you, lightly prodding in and out of your hole, welcoming the new fullness in the warmth and wet of your walls.Â
He pumps a few more times, letting his finger sink deeper with each stroke until heâs knuckle deep, reaching further than any spot youâve been able to feel yourself. Itâs when a second digit joins his first that you feel nearly breathless, the stretch and sting making you wince for a moment as you adjust, realising how much thicker and stronger his fingers are than your own when you touch yourself.Â
Frankie immediately notices your tense expression, quickly pulling back, raising his hands like heâs been caught in the act, guilt ridden look painted across his face.Â
âFuck, Kenzie, are you okay? Did I hurt you? Fuck, Iâm sorry.âÂ
âNo, no, itâs okay, Frankie! It feels good, I promise, your fingers are just a lot bigger than mine.âÂ
He tilts his head in confusion for a second until the lightbulb clicks with him that heâs not the only one in the room who's ever been horny and taken care of themself to help solve their problem.Â
âWh-what do you think about? Wh-when, when you touch yourself?â He asks with a quiet caution.Â
âI- I think about you, Frankie.â
You answer without hesitation. Not to appease him, not to convince yourself, but because itâs the truth. Youâve thought about him more times than you can count.Â
Your answer ignites another spark of self-assurance in him, carefully letting his thumb swirl against your clit as his middle finger gently slides back into your entrance, working up to the same tempo he was at a few moments ago.Â
âI think about you, too. All the time.â He confesses, a willing admittance now that youâre laying your cards out on the table for him.Â
âWell, there was one time, a long time ago, I thought about Orlando Bloom after I watched Pirates of the Caribbean.âÂ
Youâre not sure what spurs on your unnecessary addition to your comment, but it makes you and Frankie both snort, needing a moment to compose yourself from your fit of giggles.Â
âAre you trying to tell me youâre really into pirates?â Frankie laughs, biting down on his lip.Â
âNo, you dork! Thatâs not- Jesus, you know what, forget I ever said anything, okay?â You sigh, rolling your eyes at Frankie, trying to will away the reds and pinks that plague your cheeks.Â
âYour secretâs safe with me, Kenz, donât worry.â He teases, his smile slowly shifting to a stoic sort of concentration as he stares down at his fingers pressed against your pussy. âI- I wanna try something.âÂ
âWhat?âÂ
âCan I um, can I go down on you?âÂ
âWait, really?âÂ
Despite your own inexperience, you werenât naive enough to ignore the rumblings from friends of friends, or stories of girls on your soccer team, constantly complaining about how all their boyfriends wanted them to suck their dicks with nothing in return. Theyâd claim it was gross, or weird, or that it would taste disgusting, so youâd be hard pressed to not believe that every boy under the sun mostly likely found themselves in the same school of thought.Â
âDo you not want me to?â Frankie questions, trying to hide the small pang of disappointment youâre sure he feels in his chest at your puzzled reaction.Â
âN-no, itâs just that- I didnât think that- I thought guys thought that was gross.âÂ
âWhat? Who said that?â Frankie scoffs.Â
âI donât know, like, Sarah and Morgan from the soccer team always complained about how their boyfriends never wanted to because they said it was gross or whatever.âÂ
âWell Sarah and Morganâs boyfriends have a single brain cell left between them after all the hits theyâve taken during football this season.âÂ
The two of you laugh again, finding relief in the way your friendship prevails through the discomfort.Â
âYou really donât think itâs gross?âÂ
âNo. I- I think itâs kinda hot.âÂ
Itâs now Frankieâs cheeks that are flushed with crimson, trying his best to hide his embarrassment. You can tell he has more he wants to say from the way his eyes dart between yours and the bed, forcing you to tilt your head with that little nod he knows means that youâll keep pestering him until he breaks. Lucky for you, it wonât take much.Â
âSanti stole this DVD from his cousin's house, and honestly most of it was so stupid because obviously it's all fake. Like, no oneâs that excited to get fucked at a doctorâs office. But anyways, there was this one part at the beginning where uh- where the guy goes down on the girl and I- um, I donât know. I- I wanted to try it, I guess.âÂ
âReally didnât think I was gonna have to worry about not picturing Santi in my head tonight.âÂ
You and Frankie giggle as you pretend to gag at the thought of Santi becoming a part of you losing your virginity, praying there never comes a day he finds out heâs in part to thank for Frankieâs peaked curiosity.Â
âI- I want you to. If you want to.âÂ
âI want to. Fuck, I wanna taste you so bad.âÂ
The pace of your pulse begins to quicken again, watching the way Frankieâs face lights up as he races to position himself between your legs, laying flat against the mattress with his face hovering above your heat, his hot, trembling breath tickling your folds.Â
You swear he licks his lips before his mouth meets you, but the slow, long drag of his tongue across your clit already has your head thrown back against his pillow, the warmth and wetness lighting you up from the inside out with jolts of electric pleasure.Â
He repeats it a few more times, languidly lapping in smooth and steady strokes, each with just a little more pressure than the last. Itâs instinctual, how you buck your hips towards his face, like your body knows it wants more before your brain can process it, signaling to Frankie youâve given him the okay to keep going, to give you more.Â
Little gasps escape your parted lips as his tongue moves faster, circling your clit the same way he had with his thumb, making your body melt into the mattress. Itâs almost unearthly, how good it feels, little fires igniting in your stomach with every flick of his tongue.Â
You donât mean to startle him with how loudly you whimper as he intensifies the pressure, mouth still latched around your clit while his brown eyes peek up at you, breathlessly nodding to him that he shouldnât dare to stop now.Â
He takes it as a sign to test the waters even further, letting his middle finger be sucked into the warmth of your velvety walls before ever so carefully sliding in another. The stretch is still there but the sting has faded, his fingers a welcomed addition to ease the way you realize youâve been clenching around nothing, subconsciously desperate to fill the empty ache in your core.Â
Inch by inch, he sinks them deeper until you feel him bump against a soft spot inside you that makes you scream in a way youâve never felt before, fireworks exploding everywhere in your body as his tongue and fingers work in tandem.Â
A familiar tingle rapidly begins to build at the base of your spine, except the same type of tingle youâve experienced alone has never multiplied and compounded in the same way this one does.Â
Desperate for something to grab on to, one hand fists at Frankieâs sheets, the other, shooting down to the messy curls of his hair, burying your fingers until they disappear under his unkempt locks.Â
Youâre not sure if youâre so pleasure drunk you canât think straight, but you swear you can feel that stupid, smug smirk pressed against your pussy as you hold onto him for dear life.Â
He keeps the same pace with his tongue, fingers prodding in just the right spot to make you feel like youâre losing control, limbs numb and shaking like jello as you feel the tingle creep down your legs and up through your chest.Â
âF-Frankie, I- oh fuck- fuck, oh my god, fuck, I- I- oh my go-ahhhhhhhhhh-â Â
Itâs all consuming, the way the pleasure washes over you, like waves crashing into the shoreline- relentless and never ending. Thereâs a moment youâre convinced your bodyâs left this planet, floating off in space in a cloud of endless ecstasy.Â
Youâre not sure how long youâre lost in the electricity of it all- Minutes? Hours? Years? Youâd believe any and all of the above. Your chest rises and falls with each heavy breath as you come to, greeted with the image of Frankie still settled between your legs, wild haired and goofy grinned.Â
âFrankieâŠ. Holy fuck.âÂ
A beaming, boyish smile lights up across his face at the way youâre panting, wiping the shiny slick stained around his mouth with the back of his hand.Â
âYeah? D-did it feel good? Did you um- did you-âÂ
âYeah. Holy shit. Remind me to thank Santiâs cousin if I ever meet him.âÂ
âJesus ChristâŠâ Frankie sighs, rolling his eyes at your giggles, heart melting at the way he canât hide his rosy cheeks and curled lips every time he looks at you, âIt felt good though? Like, Actually?âÂ
âYeah, it felt really good, Frankie.â You coo, watching Frankie prop himself up to sit back on his haunches, letting your gaze wander down his bare chest until you reach the clearly tented fabric of his pajama pants, lingering just long enough for him to notice where youâre staring.Â
Silent tension fills the room again, the both of you realizing that youâve only conquered one part of the journey youâve embarked on together, and that the second half of your travels pose many more risks than the first. Frankie is the only one you want by your side as you brave your adventure together.Â
With a little push, your back parts with his mattress, sitting up to close the gap between you. Youâre close enough now that your hands can roam up his thighs, softly palming at the stiff bulge straining under his pants.Â
âOh f-fuck-â Frankie stutters, jaw going slack with ever pass your hand makes over his erection.Â
âCan I take off your pants, Frankie?â You whisper, burying your head in the crook of his neck, craning your head just enough so that the hot words of your breath dance in his ear.Â
You can barely finish your sentence before Frankieâs scrambling off the edge of the bed, standing up straight to give you the easiest access to shuffle his pajamas down while you kneel on the mattress.Â
You pray Frankie canât feel the way your fingers shake as they sink under his waistband and brush against his stomach, pulling his bottoms down just slow enough to memorize the subtle V that sinks between his hips, or the soft trail of barely there brown hair under his belly button that thickens with every tug.Â
With one final breath, you slide them down enough to finally free whatâs been hiding underneath, his length fully hard, bobbing as it springs free. This must have been what it felt like for Frankie, understanding the way his eyes went wide and brain went blank after he saw you for the first time.
Itâs not like itâs a surprise to you, the concept of what heâs had tucked away in his pants.
What does, is how the sight of it nearly knocks the wind out of you.Â
âF-Frankie⊠Holy shit.âÂ
âWhat? I-is something wrong?â He winces, immediately bracing himself for the worst.Â
âNo, itâs just- just like, Holy shit, Frankie.â You reiterate, making it very clear youâre more than impressed as you gesture at whatâs hanging in front of you.Â
âO-oh, t-thanks.â He stutters, a sweet shyness overtaking him as a result of your admiration.Â
You scoot yourself closer, a boldness overcoming you as you delicately wrap your hand around his length, slowly sliding it up and down his shaft. You pray that whatever youâre doing feels okay, but from the way Frankieâs whimpers and moans escape from his parted lips, you take it as a sign youâre safe to take another step further.
âSince you went down on me, do you want me to go down on-âÂ
âN-no!â He pauses, drowning his face in his palm for the way heâs panicking, making you drop him from your grasp, âNo, I- uh- shit- sorry, sorry, no itâs just- No, not because I donât want you to- b-believe me, I really want you to. Like, really want you to.âÂ
âO-okay, so?âÂ
He must feel awful for the puzzled and pained expression on your face, reaching with both hands to cradle your jaw, making sure your gaze is fixated on him.Â
âIâm sorry, I promise nothingâs wrong, I just- fuck- I donât wanna cum yet and I know if you go down on me, I will in like two seconds, and I wanna cum when weâre having sex. I-if you still wanna, ya know, have sex. Jesus, Iâm sorry, I donât know why I freaked out like that. I think Iâm- Iâm nervous, too. âÂ
The top of your teeth graze your lower lip, batting your lashes in heavy, long blinks, your lips curling in a sympathetic smile that youâre not alone in your uneasiness. Finding comfort in the uncomfortability, together. Knowing how easy it would be for him to play it all off like no big deal, or pretend to mask the confidence he lacks, and yet, he doesnât, makes you want him even more.Â
âDo you still want to? I- Iâm nervous too, but I want to. It makes me feel less nervous that itâs with you.âÂ
The tender kiss he plants on your lips as your bodies move in sync down the bed is the only answer you need, shuffling backwards towards the pillows while Frankie hovers his body over you, mouths only parting to let you settle into the mattress.Â
Each kiss becomes more frantic and desperate than the last, mouths melting together as your tongues wrestle. The way he kisses you is all consuming, enough to make you feel like the only people in the world that exist in this moment are you and him.Â
âYou sure you want to?â He gasps, fighting for his words to escape his parted lips.Â
âIâm sure.â You whisper back, barely soft enough for him to hear.Â
The two of you nod, Frankie shifting his weight to reach across you, shuffling through the drawer of his nightstand until he fishes out the box of condoms he has hidden away. He sits back on his knees, carefully ripping a square from the line of packages, tossing the rest over the side of the bed. Heâs even more delicate as he tears the edge of the foil heâs holding in his hands, removing the rubber and methodically rolling it down over his shaft.Â
âItâs on right... Right?âÂ
âYeah. I practiced putting them on earlier this week so I didnât look like a complete idiot when I tried to do it the first time. Although I think telling you that probably makes me look like an even bigger idiot.âÂ
âNo it doesnât,â You softly reassure him, âIâd rather have you do that than put it on wrong. I donât want any of your babies yet, Morales.âÂ
Yet.Â
Youâre not sure what makes your brain decide to add those three letters into your sentence. Youâre also not sure why you donât hate that it did. Thereâs a part of you that thinks thereâs a chance that maybe Frankie didn't hear it, but you know that boy would die before he stopped hanging onto every word that fell from your lips.Â
Thereâs a part of you that also swears heâs trying with everything in him to keep from smiling.Â
Your attention shifts with Frankieâs body, hovering back over yours with his fist wrapped around the base of his shaft, sinking his hips to line himself up with your entrance. His tip brushes against your clit, a familiar jolt of pleasure swirling in your stomach at how you clench around nothing, anxious and aching to feel him inside you.Â
âI-if itâs too much, or it doesnât feel good, or you wanna stop, just-âÂ
âI know, Frankie. Iâll tell you, I promise.âÂ
Your low exhale syncs with Frankieâs gulp, each of you bracing yourselves as you finally feel his tip breach inside you. You try your best to relax, squirming your bottom half with each inch Frankie sinks himself deeper. Youâre sure thereâs a wince as he pushes past the halfway point- not painful, but a sting and stretch in a way youâve never felt. Frankie freezes, gently grabbing your hip.Â
âYou good, Kenzie? You want me to stop?âÂ
âNo, Iâm okay, just kind of stings a little, but it still feels good. Maybe if you didnât have such a big dick, it wouldnât be a problem.â You tease, letting out a little huff of laughter.Â
Itâs now Frankieâs turn to scrunch the muscles of his face, cocking your head at the grit of his teeth.Â
âFrankie, are you okay?âÂ
âYup. Yup, Iâm good. When you laughed it squeezed my dick and it felt really good and Iâm trying not to make a fucking fool of myself right now.âÂ
âSorry, no more laughing, got it.â You grimace, desperately trying not to giggle at Frankieâs pained concentration as he shakes his head at you. âY- you can keep going, though.âÂ
âF-fuck, o-okay.âÂ
Thereâs another deep breath before heâs pushing his hips towards you, taking his time as you feel the pain start to shift to indescribable pleasure, the feeling of how full he is inside of you making every wire in your brain short circuit.Â
âHoly fucking shit.â Frankie whispers under his breath, âFuck, you feel so good, MacKenzie.âÂ
You wish you had the words to tell him how you feel the same, but the best you can muster is a muffled moan that escapes from your unhinged jaw, brain empty at the sweet stretch of his fullness, stagnant inside you.Â
F-fuck Frankie. Oh my god.â You murmur, letting the muscles of your face untense so the weight of your eyelids can flutter open, soaking in the image of Frankie above you. The rest of your body follows, slowly beginning to relax as you adjust, yearning for more than just his hips flushed against yours. âY-you can move, Frankie.âÂ
He lets his arms sink from the plank heâs holding, letting your chests flush together so he can bury his face in the crook of your neck, groaning into your skin with the first thrust of his hips, steadily sliding in and out of your heat, savoring every second of the sensation.Â
âYou still okay, baby?â Frankie coos into your ear, the new nickname only adding to the way you want to clench down around his length as he keeps his languid pace, dragging his cock along the warmth and wetness of your walls.Â
âMhmmm. You can go faster, i-if you want. F-fuck, it feels so good, Frankie.âÂ
The way you whimper and whine his name sets off a low rumble deep in his chest, lips locking with yours as you feel him pump just a little harder, his length nudging the same, savory spot he had found before with his fingers. Your hand shoots up to wrap around his bicep, nails marking crescent moons in his skin.Â
Every move he makes is solely based on your reaction, reading the way your body responds to him before daring to take a step further. Your iron grip and sweet moans are enough to spur him on further, a steady rhythm now working through each thrust of his hips.Â
Thereâs a new knot in your stomach that starts to tighten, building in your gut and slowly creeping its way to spread throughout your body. The coarse hairs curling at the base of his shaft brush against your clit just enough to spark a jolt of electricity to your core, bucking your hips into his with each thrust. Youâre desperate to reach the same high he had given you before, eager to ease the ache of your sensitive bud.Â
Frankie picks up on the way you rut back into him, snaking his hand down your front, making just enough space between your bodies to let the pads of his fingers find your clit. The pressure he adds with the circles and swirls makes your breath hitch in the back of your throat, overwhelmed with arousal by how all encompassing Frankie is.Â
Itâs hard to believe how quickly you find yourself becoming addicted to him, your body yearning to become one with his and never separate. You want your heart, your soul, for all of it to be his, and only his, to be unable to find where you end and he begins.Â
The only thing you want is to be his.Â
With each stroke, your pussy flutters faster around his length, the tingle that had formed at the base of your spine now seeping through your veins, teetering on the brink of collapse.Â
âF-fuck- fuck, Frankie, donât stop. Fuck, I- I think Iâm- Iâm close.âÂ
If it was anyone else, there would be no words to describe the embarrassment from the pathetic whimper you let out at the way Frankie groans while he punches into you. A look of pained concentration splays across his face, focusing with every brain cell he has left to make sure you finish first.Â
âShit- I- I- fuck, Iâm close, too.â He stutters, chest heaving in between each word.Â
He presses his forehead into yours, meeting you with the tacky sheet of sweat that now clings to his skin and dampens his curls. His scent, his warmth, the weight of his body laid across yours- you almost dare to wish that this moment, this feeling, would never end.Â
But the way he whispers your name, each letter warm and tickling your skin, a sweet symphony only he can sing is what sends you over the edge, pushing you past the point of no return.Â
âM-MacKenzie⊠f-fuck, MacKenzie-â Â
Each syllable is an explosion inside you, lighting you up to send sparks through every last limb until youâre sobbing his name, singing his own sweet song back to him.Â
âFrankie, Frankie, Frankiefrankiefrankie-ahhhhh-âÂ
The dam inside you finally breaks, wave after wave of pleasure crashing through you as you squeeze around him, swallowed whole by the electricity of it all.Â
Thereâs not much your mind can process after you snap, but thereâs enough strength left to keep your gaze locked on Frankie and the way he gasps as his jaw drops after youâve finished. Heâs just as lost as you, relishing in your afterglow as he chases his own high, each thrust more sloppy and erratic than the last.Â
âFuck, fuck, holy shit MacKenzie, fuck, Iâm gonna cum so ha-aaaaahhh-âÂ
Thereâs only one last shift of his hips before heâs spilling into the condom, a final moan that follows his release as he collapses into you. Your chests rise and fall in sync, breaths heavy as you pant in the soft silence that fills the room.
The quiet brings a gentle comfort, basking in the bliss that radiates off each of you as you let yourselves drift back to earth, praying it gives you enough time to remember how to speak.Â
Itâs Frankie who arrives back first, too consumed with your own journey back to hear the way his voice breaks as he carefully whispers your name.Â
âMacKenzie?âÂ
âYeah, Frankie?âÂ
âC-can I tell you something?âÂ
âAnything.âÂ
His sweet call brings you back, thumb brushing against the warmth of his cheek, waiting on every word he's working himself up to say.
âMacKenzie, I- MacKenzie, I- I think I love you.âÂ
It's then you're sure your heart stops- four little letters forcing a smile so wide across your face, your positive your cheeks may hurt for days after.
Maybe, if you're lucky, they'll keep hurting like this for the rest of your life.
âCan I tell you something, Morales? I think I might just love you, too.âÂ
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#pedro pascal#pedro pascal character fanfic#pedro pascal fanfiction#pedro pascal character#francisco catfish morales#francisco morales#francisco morales x reader#francisco morales x you#frankie catfish morales#frankie morales#frankie morales fanfic#frankie morales fanfiction#frankie morales fluff#frankie morales smut#frankie morales x f!reader#frankie morales x female reader#frankie morales x reader#frankie morales x you#francisco morales fanfiction#francisco morales smut#frankie morales imagine#triple frontier fanfic#frankie morales x ofc#pedro pascal smut#pedro pascal fanfic
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ellie realising shes in love w you for the first time
Love had never been a kind feeling for Ellie. The butterflies explained by hushed teenage voices over a bonfire never exactly captured what Ellie felt in her stomach when she felt that sensation creeping into her bones. What she felt about the four-letter word was a little more dangerous than the soft wings of a monarch butterfly. It was more barbed wire squeezing her intestines, a frantic sort of feeling that overwhelmed her, a surefire sign of the doom that would follow. It only got worse as she aged.
That feeling, one she swore she didnât feel easy, that she didn't like to feel, returned one night.
A night that had been the first quiet one in weeks, her head pressed onto an old stitched blanket that was a little rough against her hair. Jackson was warm that night, a short sleeve pressed onto her skin as she sighed.
âDo you think the stars were this bright before the outbreak?â a voice had asked beside her. Eyes that were focused up on the night above them. Ellieâs arms crossed over her stomach lazily, the blanket you two laid on acting as a home for your bodies as you looked at the stars above.
Well, you looked up, and Ellie looked at you. âNot everywhere, in big cities you could barely see them. All the light pollution, but out in places like this? I bet so.â
You turn your head, looking at her with a slight grin. âNah, I donât think so,â you shrug, pursing your lips.
Ellieâs eyebrows furrowed, hoping you would continue.
âI have to believe something is better nowadays, so I think the stars are brighter now.â
Ellie lets a soft chuckle fall from her lips. So optimistic, even when you lived in a place like thisâ a time like this. Ellie admired that. She thinks she lost all sense of optimism the moment she woke up in a car, the blue-tinged hospital gown scratching against her skin. But the way you said it so simply, like you believed it so much, made her want to believe it too.
âMaybe,â Ellie concludes, though she knows the real answer.
âYou have to teach me how to find constellations sometime,â you add softly, staring up again.
âItâs not too hard; iâll help you trace them with your finger,â Ellie hums, hand reaching up, squeezing one eye closed.
When you laugh, she feels a slight tug in her stomach, but it's soft enough to ignore.
Until your finger reaches forward. You had turned your head again, staying focused on the apples of her cheeks. Your finger came forward to brush against the freckles Ellie doubted you could see in this much darkness. Thatâs when she felt the wires wrap around her stomach.
âCan I say something really cheesy?â you question.
âIf itâs about my freckles, Iâll stab you right here,â Ellie threatens with no bite.
âOh câmon!â you whine, tapping her cheek with your finger. âYou totally ruined my line!â
âThat line was gonna be awful,â Ellie retorts, shaking her head.
The blanket shifts lightly with the wind when you move, a huff coming from Ellieâs lips as you straddle her, staring down with a pout.
âYou are such a mood killer,â you chastise, staring down at Ellie.
Thatâs when she knows she's fucked. Thatâs when the sharp points of the wires press into her chest and lungs, sucking a deep breath from her.
When you stare down at her, prettier than the stars that frame behind your head, Ellie thinks she may be in love.
But when you press a kiss to her cheek, and then another, Ellie begins to believe the stories of butterflies in her stomach.
When your lips find the corner of her mouth, the barbed wire started to feel more like wings.
#rins reqs â.#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x fem reader#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams angst#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams fic
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hiâi just found this blog and am so immensely thankful?
iâm only 17 and in a month iâm going to a psychiatrist to get evaluated for schizophrenia and iâm⊠completely terrified because i feel like my life is going to be ruined by this awful mental illness. itâs just,, really nice to see posts like yours reminding people that we can live happy fulfilling lives and arenât inherently doomed just because of it, so. seriously, thank you for making a scared teenager feel a little bit betterâ
That has always been my hope for this blog, for people like us to feel less alone and know that there is hope. Messages like this make my day :)
I was 18 when I was diagnosed and it was devastating. I didn't know of anyone else who had schizophrenia besides my grandpa who was a horrible person, and what I saw in horror movies. I felt so lost and ashamed, that went on for about a year. And then I started searching through the internet. I found things like the YouTube channel SBSK and all their interviews with people with schizophrenia, I found the 'Inside Schizophrenia' podcast, I found the YouTube channel 'Living Well with Schizophrenia', I found out about the organization 'Students with Psychosis', and I found blog posts of people openly sharing their experience. I couldn't find my community in real life, but I did find it on the internet. And that was so incredibly helpful for me. I decided to take what I learned, along with my own experiences and post it on here. And the community that I've found on here has been so healing. I don't feel as alone anymore, and I owe it to people like you who are brave enough to share, even with all the stigma stacked up against us. Together we can make changes that will lead to even more people opening up about their schizophrenia or psychosis. And I can't wait to live in a world like that.
#answered#schizophrenia#mental illness#nd#neurodivergent#schizophrenic#psychosis#actuallyschizophrenic#mental health awareness#pseriouslypsychotic
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Iâm really hoping for a happy arc for Lavellan and Solas in Veilguard, oh god. No surprises like him being trapped in the Fade while sheâs stuck in reality, or having to make a painful choice about who gets to stay alive. Just no, please.
There are so many words and shattered hopes here, Iâm sorry, but I couldnât stop myself. Grab a cup of tea, some cookies, and sit next to me, my dear Solavellan.
And now, itâs time to lay all the cards on the table. You know, I canât help but connect the story of Doctor Who and Rose with Lavellan and Solas in my mind. These storylines mean so much to me, and they both break my heart in the same way.
Donât worry if youâre not familiar with the Doctor Who fandom, I tried to write this as comfortably and clearly as possible for our little refuge.
Relationships that are doomed from the start but where the characters fight through all the difficulties just to see their loved one again... these fill me with awe and pain. (Iâm not normal, haha) When creating such relationships, writers have a huge responsibility, and you canât just trample on expectations, like what happened to me (and many others in the fandom) with the ending of Doctor and Rose.
(A bit of a description of the Doctor and Roseâs love so you can better understand why Iâm so anxious of the Solavellan part of the fandom. Warning: Spoilers below. If youâre planning to watch the series starting with the Tenth Doctor, you might want to skip the next few paragraphs.)
Heâs immortal, lonely, brooding, and full of regret. He chose the death of his people for the sake of the universeâs survival. He mourns them, heâs broken, lost. He can never undo his decision, and he no longer knows who he is. And then he meets her. She rekindles the light and hope in him. She helps him make the right choices. She changes her life for him, falls in love, even though she knows their relationship is impossible. He feels the same, but itâs like he doesnât want to admit it. He enjoys her presence. For the first time in almost a thousand years, he falls in love. It slowly changes his world. And oh my God, their maximum intimacy is in their looks, their hugs, and the warm touches of their hands. (There were two kisses, but another being was in her body at the time. So it doesnât count!)
How do you think this relationship ends?
It crashes into reality. She sacrifices herself and ends up trapped in a parallel reality where he can never exist. Never. Itâs the end for them. Three minutes on Bad Wolf Bay. Buckets of tears. He fades away, and sheâs left alone, crying along with me.
For years, she searched for a way to see him again. Her life changed so much itâs hard to imagine.
And then the moment of their reunion comes.
Hold your breath
And what did the writers come up with? Feel the strangeness of this decision: since sheâs in another world where he canât be with her, since heâs immortal and sheâs mortal, letâs just create his mortal double and give him to her. Theyâll be happy. haha. Happy ending.
Just imagine this horrible scenario (forgive me for this), where they create a double of Solas, stripped of all his godhood, mortal, and heâs given to Lavellan.
And Solas, the real Solas, with bitterness and full awareness of whatâs happening, gives his Lavellan to him, then walks away into the mist. He loves her so much that he lets her go to another version of himself so she can be happy. Ugh. I feel awful.
Even as a teenager, I understood that this was utter nonsense. Sheâd leave that double in a day. Itâs so obvious, damn it. Itâs the worst decision the writers couldâve made for such a strong relationship.
And thatâs it, the end. For almost 20 years, thereâs been nothing more, and there wonât be. Itâs over, and itâs just brutal. Itâs a love story that got a happy ending only in fanfiction, fan art, and role-playing.
And thatâs why Iâm so scared for the outcome of the relationship in Veilguard. God, let it be a worthy ending for all of us few Solavellans. Damn it, this part of the fandom deserves some happiness already.
I truly wish I could have the chance to create a good ending for Solas and Lavellan. Iâm sure that even 10 minutes of a cutscene would be enough to make us happy. If we donât get happiness, then Iâll write another endless rant. In any case, there are always amazing authors, artists, and creators who can heal any plot shortcomings.
Thereâs so much sadness and doubt here, oh ir abelas, vhenan
#bioware knows about this story so let them do it beautifully aaaa#solas x lavellan#solavellan#solas dragon age#lavellan#doctor who#doctor who x rose#rose tyler#Tenth Doctor#david tennant#billie piper#â„
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Hello. I've been binge reading your meta post an I loves all of it. I have one question, though I don't know if you had the same question or not. If you had I'm sorry feel free to ignore this but if you hadn't, this is my question. Many people said Adrien as sentimonster is a good plot and the other said it's also good metaphor for abuse children. But what do you think about the senti plot? Is it necessary? And what do you think the writer is trying to achieve with the plot if Adrien doesn't even allowed to know about what he is?
Thank you! I'm glad that you've been enjoying my rambles! I don't think I've touched on those aspects of the sentiplot, so here goes!
Is it Necessary/What's The Goal?
I don't think that the sentiplot is even remotely necessary. My two cents is that it reads like something that was added relatively last-minute in order to add some cheap drama to draw the plot out because they didn't have enough content to organically fill seven seasons. Part of the reason that I'm comfortable saying that is because we've seen the writers do this type of move many times before. I don't wanna get too into the weeds on this, but a good example is the love triangles with Luka and Kagami.
Luka and Kagami are never treated as real alternate love interests. They're just road blocks on the love square highway that allow for seasons three to end on a cliff hanger. The fact that season four opens on two episodes meant to reassure the audience that Lukanette and Adrigami are doomed to fail is proof of this. No one is actually supposed to ship those ships. There's no Team Luka vs Team Adrien. It's just cheap drama.
The other reason that I feel comfortable calling the sentiplot cheap shoehorned drama is because the sentiplot has no teeth. A big reason why I refused to believe that it was going to be a thing was because it's an extremely serious plot that has no place in a Y-7 show. The wielder of raw destruction can have his free will overwritten at any time! The show has made jewelry theft a common teenage past time! This is bad!
And yet, once it's introduced, it goes nowhere. Gabe gives the most lackluster commands humanly possible and Nathalie undoes every one of them before they have a chance to meaningfully impact the plot. The biggest fallout of the sentiplot was that the Adrienette kiss got delayed a bit. How terrifying.
If the sentiplot had the weight it deserved, then it would have destroyed Adrientte in a big, dramatic fashion. Gabriel would have commanded Adrien to date Kagami and Tomoe would have done the same for Kagami re Adrien. But that's too serious, so we don't even get Gabe telling Adrien to break up with Marinette. He just tells Adrien to not see her and Marinette never has any clue that something went wrong there because Nathalie undoes the command two minutes later.
The Sentiplot's and Emilie
You may have read the previous section and thought, "But wait, doesn't the sentiplot give an explanation for why Emilie used the peacock? Didn't we need that?"
No, we didn't. Felix's little play and Gabe's memory of the night they used the peacock both heavily imply that no one knew that the peacock would kill you. It's why Felix exists! His father did not willingly give his life to have a kid and neither did Emilie. It was an unknown side effect.
Imo, it would have actually been better if Emilie hadn't used the peacock for such obviously selfish reasons. I mean, is anyone really saying, "Oh no, the rich lady used forbidden magic (and possibly killed some people?) to get a designer baby, then faced unexpected consequences! How awful for her! She didn't deserve that!"
Wouldn't it have been a far more interesting and complex story if Emilie used the peacock because she wanted to help someone else? If she was an unambiguously good person who suffered for doing the right thing or even just a morally gray thing? Wouldn't that make Gabriel's quest feel more righteous and less like a temper tantrum by a rich, entitled white guy who used his wealth in a morally dubious manner and paid for it?
The Sentiplot as an Abuse Metephor
I don't think that the writers meant for the sentiplot to be an abuse metaphor. In fact, I sincerely hope they didn't because it's a terrible one! Or, at least, a depressing one.
Abuse - especially childhood abuse - is something that sticks with us. A lot of victims will be forever scared by what they went through. But just because they bare scares doesn't mean that they're trapped by their abuse and can never break free. This is true even if the abuse caused mental health issues like PTSD or CPTSD, conditions that can never be cured because you know what they can be? Controlled and mitigated to the point where the victim is no longer ruled by their condition.
There's also the fact that abuse victims - especially child abuse victims - can and often do reach a point where their abusers no longer have any power over them. I have personally seen a child abuse victim go thought the process of realizing that their parent is just another adult now. All the power that the parent once held is gone. The child doesn't depend on them for food and shelter anymore. If the abuse starts up again, then the child can just get up and walk away.
That's not true for a sentimonster. Sentimonsters don't grow up and get more agency/power. At any point, their abuser can get ahold of their amok and override their free will, taking away the sentimonster's freedom even if the sentimonster is on another continent! There is no means of true escape.
No abuse victim will ever be that powerless. Abuse victims can escape abuse and they do have true free will. Sentimonsters will always be sentimonsters.
Is the Sentiplot Good?
No. It's too serious for a kids show. In fact, now that it's canon, here's my two cents: all of the sentikids are massive liabilities to the team who need to give up their miraculouses immediately because they can never be truly trusted. Felix has shown us time and time again how easy it is to steal an amok and replace it with a fake, so we must always assume that the sentikids are compromised because to assume otherwise is to invite the miraculouses to fall into the wrong hands. It's just not worth the risk to trust a senti.
Along the same lines, the love square should never be canon unless Marinette gives up Guardianship because Adrien is a liability to the safety of the miraculouses even if he didn't wield on himself. The only way to get around this issue is to use the wish to make the sentikids human, but Gabe failed to even do that one kindness for his son, so here we are. Season six will either drive this point home by having Lila use the amoks to mess with Adrien or it will drop the sentiplot forever, proving just how cheap and poorly thought out it was.
Other issues I think I've already addressed in other posts, but that are still a problem that make the plot bad:
a sentimonster's creator defines the sentimonster's worth, thus there being no issue with Felix making sentimonsters and then killing them or the heroes destroying them, but it would somehow be wrong if we did the same thing to any of the sentikids
any command you give a sentimonster can be overwritten and sentimonsters can't resist even if they know they're being controlled, so there's truly no hope to free them
giving your leading lady anxiety issues and a boyfriend whose free will is constantly in jeopardy is cruel and unusual punishment
an insane number of lore issues like why is it impossible to destroy other sentimonsters, but Adrien can be destroyed in akuma fights? Cataclysms are pure destruction! It makes no sense that akumas can do what a cataclysm can't. And is Adrien able to die a natural death? What happens to his amok when he does? Will his children be able to be controlled by his amok too since they're part of him?
the lore around Gabe & Emilie finding the miraculous makes no sense and should not be possible. That's another rant, though.
#senti salt#ml writing salt#ml writing critical#ml season 5 salt#adrien deserves better#this plot is only suited to an angsty or bittersweet ending#I don't know how you can hope for a happy ending when Adrien is forever a slave
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Thereâs just something so crazy about Christianity. I grew up in the church, went to Preschool in my church, and up until I was a teenager I defended it, even though we stopped going when I was young. Once when I was little, I was crying so hard because I wanted to meet Jesus, and my parents actually thought I was going to kill myself because I wanted to so badly.
Now I donât really hold any religious views, I guess Iâm agnostic because I donât know, no one really does. But because I donât go to church my family thinks Iâm doomed to Hell.
I try not to bring anything up because Iâm the odd man out so I just keep my mouth shut, I even go along with the prayers before dinner and everything. Because I donât know, maybe God is real, but Iâm not committing to organized religion.
On my grandpaâs death bed last year, my sister told me that I need to be saved so that she doesnât have to worry about me going to Hell like this on my death bed.
Our grandpa is dying, in front of our eyes, and you really can only think about me going to Hell? Because you think Iâm just an awful person who doesnât believe in God? The one thing I have never gotten over that was kind of the catalyst for my deconstruction was that God would send people to Hell, in general, but especially just for not believing. I never believed that, even when I was a very young, gullible child.
I went to church with them one time this year (for Easter) and they are SO good at pulling you in. Telling stories about miracles that happened. âThey could happen to you too. But only if you pay me, so I can afford my Gucci sneakers and 3 piece suitâ is what pulled me back to reality.
My sister just sent me a tik tok, I havenât watched it. The cover photo says something about âthat one friend who you donât want to be without in Heavenâ. I donât want to watch it.
She knows Iâm gay. Because her and our other sister forced me out. And they seem to not really care, she gifted me a couple LGBTQ Christian books for Christmas. But I looked up their pastors views on LGBTQ community, and itâs the usual pedophile, brainwashing views that Christians hold, and in just waiting for the day they start to think that of me too. My family used to be the one thing I could count on and now Iâm watching them pull away from me in real time.
#sorry for the long post#idk#I cannot believe something without proof#christianity#religion#organized religion#agnostic#religious deconstruction#lgbtqia#lgbtq#text post
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After reading the Danny Phantom a glitch in time I was in the mood to try to sketch Danny with his Friends Tucker and Sam
And then being as yeah Sam and Tucker did get to join Danny in the nicktoons unite game (heck you can play as Sam in the 2nd game witch is the island game as well as in the toy bots one that came after that ) so they did meet Timmy Turner so had to draw that in
And then had to draw my Fairy Timmy with the nicktoons talking with Sam being as he has met them in the games
Now for years Iâve seen maybe 1-2 artists keep the nicktoons unite fandom alive but most of the time the focus was only on the 1st game not on the other 3 in the series so didnât see and Sam or Tucker getting added into the lineup (witch is a crying shame because Sam was quite awesome in the games; you could even play as her in at least 2 of the games (not sure about the globs of doom one where they took Timmy Turner out and had invader zim & dib as well as some villains join the team in that one; but then Timmy could and wouldâve wished them out of trouble like he does for Jimmy Timmy power hour episodes so the game development team must of not wanting to deal with that tricky story plot )
Like now theyâre adding in Jenny XJ9 from my teenage robot life and El Tigre tiger boy but forget to add in Sam and Tucker???
Heck Sammy squirrel; Patrick Sat and Squidward were apart of the Nicktoons unite team up for a lot of the games (also didnât help that nicktoons started to focus more on SpongeBob Square pants more by the last of the games)
Think you could play as Sammy squirrel in the games too
But then maybe their version of nicktoons unite games aus they like to make Danny have darker life or less supportive friends/ family so maybe thatâs why they donât add them but are adding in Jenny Xj9 and tiger boy before adding in any of Dannyâs friends and SpongeBobâs friends or they didnât know the others games?
Enithr way the games have a order to them apparently (I didnât know what the order was until some YouTube/ google searches later)
So probably just lack of information as to why itâs this way (( I mean I donât wanna stop people having their own takes on things I love when people are creative and do their own things))
Just seems odd to not add the other characters that made it into the team or how tragic they make Dannyâs life seem in their aus when honestly Danny got a very good supporting network of friends/ family & allies who helps him deal with ghosts and being half ghost (in fact heâs a bit of a adorable dork not really something Iâd say is depressing gloomy or something tragic in their life)
Making me think they mixed Timmy turnerâs tragic life story with Dannyâs being as Dannyâs the ghost boy with ghost powers they want to make him tragic when really Timmyâs one with only Wanda Cosmo poof/peri and Fairy world to help him deal with his crazy dumb neglectful parents who forget to feed him and leave him with a abusing awful babysitter; donât really care to teach him anything and donât care heâs dealing with awful bullies and a crazy teacher who just wants to fail him all the time to get at his fairies AND heâs only 10 years old and has to deal with all of that without any support whatsoever (if he didnât have fairies/wanda Cosmo & poof) heâd be a dead ghost child Danny & his friends mightâve had to deal with honestly
Heck because they both been created by butch jerkman the creator once said he was planning on making them cousins (like distant cousins) at one point but gave up on the idea witch probably explains why they do look a little alike
So like Danny has a lot to deal with with the ghost and his own school bullies but his family & friends love and support him
Heck like Jimmy Danny with help of his friend Tucker & Sam after all the ghosts theyâre dealing with and how emotion is a driving force for ghosts in his world would pick up Timmy only acts snarky/ sassy to protect himself and is honestly a pretty good kid his life back in his world is pretty bad any nicktoons character whoâs life might be a little like Timmyâs is maybe Dibâs from invader Zim but the movie changed how Dibâs father is like (if youâd seen the invader Zimâs cartoon show boy dib has some pretty dark moments and thankfully the show doesnât gloss over those dark moments like fairly odd parents original show use to like to do )
I mean probably overthinking things here itâs just my opinion after looking into things more and enjoying the shows and stuff
Because lately where I use to love how those artist been keeping nicktoons unite fandom going for such a long time; itâs as I go back and enjoy Danny phantom/ fairly odd parents and the nicktoons unite games that it feels like the characterising of these characters feels a bit off now
Itâs still good just something is missing or donât match up
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#danny phantom#fairly odd parents#nicktoons unite#nickalodeon#nicktoons#Danny phantom Danny#danny phantom sam#danny phantom tucker#Danny phantom a glitch in time#timmy turner#jimmy timmy power hour#fairly odd parents timmy#fairy timmy#fairly odd parents timmy turner#fairy timmy turner au#fairy Timmy with nicktoons#fop timmy turner#fop timmy#my drawings#my artwork#my art#my sketches#chibi cartoon#Instagram
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I really think the ship is cute I've been messaging my friends about it!
How does Elise react when Kotone describes the situation in her world... And perhaps the members of Team Sonic?
THAT MAKES ME SO HAPPY TO HEAR AW LOL ive gotten super unhinged about it super fast so seeing the enthusiasm for it really means the world đ„ș
this is a bit of a tricky question because i think it depends on Which point in p3âs story that the details come out but ill give the best answer i can
so generally speaking (partially for the sake of how i want things to pan out) i actually donât imagine team sonic getting too deeply involved with kotone; she knows them and is friends with them for sure! but im not sure sheâd confide in them about all the stuff going on with her, at least not beyond a vague explanation about how the whole persona thing works. even with that in mind, though, i think they, or at the very least sonic himself, can gather that sheâs got a lot on her shoulders. being sonic, heâs pretty loose about it, but he encourages her where he can. he knows what itâs like.
elise on the other hand i think is someone that insists on carrying the weight of kotoneâs problems with her if she can
(sidebar: since this is post-06 being deleted from the timeline, i imagine that although she doesnât remember what happened, the Feeling of what she learned from the time she spent with sonic sticks with her and so elise is a much more emboldened person when she meets kotone; itâs a little bit of why the comics ive been doodling center around a lot of elise making spontaneous moves where sheâs honest with how she feels)
if weâre going by earlier on, i think itâs a bit run of the mill to elise even if the concept of tartarus and the dark hour are rather whimsical. kotone and her friends are essentially parallel to the heroes of eliseâs reality; those who fight back against the mad genius doctor eggman and his droves of mischievous machines are like sees who fight back against these âshadowsâ that prowl the night. i think a big point of attachment between them is that she and kotone are both in serious leadership positions as teenagers.
and if weâre going by âpost-ryoji explaining the end of all thingsâ, although it takes quite a bit of time to get kotone to the point where she feels comfortable enough to unload any of her baggage on a single other person she cares so much for, i feel the mounting stress of the approaching fall of humanity all but forces her to come clean because she just canât hold onto it all by herself anymore, she doesnât Want to for once in her life. she thinks elise has a right to know as one of the few people in her life whos aware of What she does when the clock strikes 12.
and, understandably, elise feelsâŠhelpless. again, these phantom emotions from a timeline thatâs been wiped, where she faces the end of a world and the fear that someone she cares so much about will be lost forever. thereâs some of that desperate selfishness elise has shown briefly in the past, the idea that maybe kotone can bring the people of tatsumi port through her warp ring and let them seek refuge in soleanna. save a small portion of that world, at least, from what sounds like certain doom. but she knows itâs an absurd idea. and kotone canât see it as anything but running away when she wants to fight harder than ever before.
elise would have to contend with her overwhelming need to protect kotone, that gnawing in her heart making her want to cling and never let go, keep the same devastating thing she canât seem to remember (the loss of sonic, the loss of her Memories with sonic) from happening to her a second time. sheâd have to accept that kotone is going to fight the worldâs end no matter what. even if it costs her life. itâs so unfair. but itâs also part of what made her fall in love with that girl. she wants to fight for their lives so badly that sheâd challenge the supposed inevitable.
thatâs all ill say for now i think đ i hope itâs a decent answer haha ive been thinking about these two really really hard
#quinn moment#asks#deeveelyn#p3#sonic#hamulise#thanks so much for being curious enough to ask stuff about it :))) ahhh ahhhh
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Ohhh - definitely homeworld and origin! Just.. where did they come from, what was it like, how did they end up where they are? I'm also always intrigued what the RT's triumph and darkest hour looked like if there's lore on those đ - @vossn
cosmas time woooo cosmas time. disclaimer my understanding of the setting does not go far past the one video game i played. also my understanding of cosmas is constantly evolving soooo you never know. shit might change. i donât make things up everything comes to me in visions sent by the emperor and sometimes there are addendums
cosmas, born with some other name heâs long since discarded, was meant to be a voidsman doing maintenance in the lower decks of a merchant vessel until the day he died. he started working as a child, made to do whatever it was that could be quickly and cheaply solved by getting a kid to crawl into it. genuinely i donât know, but iâve decided to put him in some chimney-sweep ass situations. of course when he got too tall he was moved to other tasks. i like to think that heâs kind of short for a voidborn but a regular amount of tall to everyone else lol.
when he was a teenager there was a mutiny on the ship, it started elsewhere but spread. the details are unimportant, whether there was warp influence or not is also unimportant. thereâs some sort of revolt and power struggle storyline that ends in everyone being doomed there but like. cosmas does not have that context. all he knows is that people are getting killed, and his youth and innocence wont save him. so he hides in the tight in between spaces he's intimately familiar with (though it's harder now) and takes some of the younger kids with him, assuming a leader role as the oldest. heâs terrified, but theyâre more terrified, so he just has to force that down. and, well, thereâs something to being looked to as the âadultâ in charge with a âplanâ.
a navy ship finds the deteriorating merchant ship and cleans up the place a bit. they canât immediately do anything about the ship itself or most of the cargo itâs holding, but they take some of the survivors (and condemn the rest), dropping them off at a nearby hiveworld to be made useful again to the imperium. no details rn on the planet or the name even⊠i asked my warhammer knowing friend about it once n he was like yeah man just make shit up, so one day iâll get around to the cosmas homeworldbuilding. most of them are separated, cosmas never finds out what happens to them (except for one). while itâs better than a dying ship this new place still proves to be awful, he feels as if he was saved just to be discarded again. heâs placed in a factory for a while, but heâs not a very good little worker bee and ends up in the cityâs underhive, taking the one kid he came here with that he didnât lose. very responsible. her nameâs damira, she ends up becoming his sister and right hand, sheâs alsoooo an unsanctioned psyker, but sheâs mostly just a concept rn. iâll make her real one day⊠sheâs cooking verrry slowly in the oven.
their best (and only) bet is joining one of the many gangs that are all trying to kill each other. he wants to survive, yes, but it isnât his only goal. upward mobility is hard but not impossible down here, and the moment the possibility is presented to him he wants it, badly. he does a lot of things over a lot of time, takes on different jobs, roles, identities, bounces around allegiances and narrowly avoids death daily until he finally has enough leverage to seize control of an operation. i donât know how he does it, heâs the smart one, not me. it grows from there. he and damira try to bring some sort of order to the place, itâs enough to make the people above them in the hive antsy. his gender also transes sometime when heâs like, trying to make it big or whatever. you see a lot of guys, some of them make you go âi want to be thatâ (whether youâve realized youâre a man yet or not), and there isnât much stopping him from just doing it. it takes a while before he finally settles on cosmas, after the universe itself. maybe they have a st cosmas too idk.
so technically he has two homeworlds, i just pick voidborn in game and applying all the traits of another one with toybox seems like too much of a hassle. itâs not like thereâs any reactivity with it. i donât have any lore for his triumph, but i did construct his backstory around it. apex of brilliance, heâs got his claws in a whole star system, i guess i didnât even really need to figure out a way to get him planetside, i just wanted to.
his darkest hour is shadow of torment i literally love the shadow of torment so much every time thereâs a bit of reactivity in the game with it i grin evilly and clap and cheer like yaaayyyyy. shoutout to torment. idk how far into the timeline it happens or the circumstances leading up to it but his arrest should happen at a good point for optimum embarrassment. L + cringe + i canât believe they fucking got you. law enforcement normally ignores the underhive but he's breached containment far enough for them to start caring. his interrogation is ostensibly for questioning, but really itâs one big humiliation ritual. he comes out of that with new problems, worse pre-existing problems, and significantly less fingers. heâs far more closed off, brushes it off like heâs fine while heâs tunnelling like crazy making revenge plans. thereâs a kind of white hot humiliation he gets when things remind him a little too much of the torture, when he starts feeling sick and instinctively braces for pain. guy who does not know what ptsd is and will never go to therapy. his constant need to assert himself and control the situation is exacerbated. everyone knows what happened to him, and he needs to prove that heâs still capable.
he also becomes rather touch averse, he doesnât like being on the receiving end but he also does a lot of touching. an âi can touch you but you canât touch meâ type deal. helps that his prosthetic fingers lack sensation. for a while i thought his fingers were cut off but i came across a video on the thumbscrew once so now they got crushed by clamp <3 funnily enough his thumbs were spared from the thumbscrew. i really like his metal fingers (a decision made by tumblr poll) but i think i need to give them a bit of a better design.
i donât know how long it is between the darkest hour and the start of the game, but evidently his deny, lash out, dissociate strategy worked because heâs still doing it.
his back tattoos refer to his triumph and darkest hour :) he has the planets of his star system running down his spine, and got the ten of swords reversed after recovering from torture. i know thereâs the emperorâs tarot which is different, but who knows, wherever heâs from can have some old world tarot imagery. as a treat. his design is chronically unfinished to me because i want to give him more tattoos but man itâs actually so fucking hard. iâll figure it out one day. cosmas has come to me fully formed yet unrefined, and iâve been slowly chipping away at him over time.
so thatâs my cosmas backstory. i simultaneously know everything and nothing. thumbs up and subscribe đ
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Dear Mrs. Cooper,
I was suprised to get a letter from someone from my mama's hometown. What with my family's rather sordid history there.
You do know what they say about me, right?
I was born of the union of my poor earthly mama and the Devil himself. They say he came to her in the wee twilight hours, promising a life away from toiling in the dirt and living off naught but rice and beans for her meals. They say mama took Old Scratch up on his offer to escape granddaddy's moonshine rages and grandmama's weeping spells, and in so doing, my mama, God rest her poor soul, doomed your little town proper.
That's what they say.
Some of them that's less spiritually inclined think pop was just a coal man, maybe even a railroad big wig looking to take up what land he could get his pristine, blood- covered hands on any way he could get it. The story changes based on whose mouth it comes from. Others take with the story that mama made a pact with Satan to save her own hide and leave the rest to rot by the wayside. The details are hazy, but all of them still spit after they say her name, like it tastes bad.
Well, they ain't all wrong. But they ain't all right, neither.
Don't know how he got his money. Could have been mining, but there's an awful lot of iron that gets pulled from the ground in these parts for his kind's comfort. I thought settling mama's affairs was complicated, but dealing with his particulars is likely to send me to an early grave. In more ways than one.
That's the thing about it. What they don't say, don't know or don't care to know is that the matter is a little more complicated than that. Pops wasn't exactly human, but he wasn't the Devil himself, neither. Fond of games of chance he was, his shadow always looked wrong, like he was a good two feet taller than he actually was. His eyes reflected lantern light like a cougar in the night. He was just as dangerous too. But he wasn't the Devil. There's more than just God and the Devil out there, you know?
Mama didn't know any better. She didn't know anything other than good and bad men existed until much too late.
Ain't that the way of things? There's a perfectly good monster right there in the family portrait to blame for the state of things, but the finger gets pointed at the seventeen year old desperate not to suffer another beating, half starved, and in great need. Why blame the devil in disguise for using his tricks on a naive teenager when you can blame the woman? It's easier than looking someone who can fight back in his unnatural gleaming eyes. Imagine the kind of punch ol' Tennessee Phillips could pack and you can understand why it's easier to pick on little Edie Puck.
Not like she can come and speak in her own defense, anyhow. Well, not in the usual way. And no, not like them Fox sisters used to get up to back in the old days. I wasn't around then, but that medium business is all bunk. There's ways to talk to the dead, but it ain't pleasant. And it don't look like shaking tables and gauze shoved in your unmentionables.
It might not even be pop's fault that shit's gone sideways there, you know? From the outside, it looks like every other small town right now. There's even bread lines in the big city, if you believe the dreck they print in the papers.
But ... well, if what you say is true, it may very well be that daddy dearest left his mark on the town in more ways than stealing Edie away in the dark of the night. And it doesn't sit right with me to just leave it up to chance that what you're describing is just coincidence. The timing is peculiar, and knowing my luck, this falls under the particulars of managing dear old dad's estate, in a manner of speaking.
All of that being said, if you read all of that and still think it's a good idea to have the "Spawn of Satan" come and look into the frightening happenings around town, I'll come. Words don't hurt me none, but it won't do to put the good name of you and your husband at risk when you might be better off hiring a night guard at the farm to scare off the local hoodlum children.
If knowing that old bastard left me more than just his name don't dissuade you from hiring my services, and if knowing you're sure to get some sideways looks, especially from old Jody's kin, don't bother you, then I'll come look at things. Save your money. All I need's two square meals and a cot in the shed. Send your reply to the same address, and I'll be on my way before the next new moon.
Kindest regards, Tenny Puck-Phillips Supernatural Private Investigator
#Tenny Puck-Phillips#Nobody panic but I am plotting#planting draft seeds#i'll probably retag this when i think of an actual title instead of just the lead character's name
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@boombrothersasks felt inspired ~_~
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Shadow couldn't move.
Now that Eclipse had been turned into a toddler (He was furious with Tails for letting this happen) the little darkling needed an afternoon nap. And he wouldn't nap if he wasn't being held. Shadow had found that out the hard way when he tried to put him down and Eclipse started screaming.
So here Shadow was, sitting near the mouth of the cave and staring out into the wilderness, with a baby darkling snuggled up into his chest fur. With one hand covering him, because otherwise Eclipse would start to shiver.
Letting out a sigh, Shadow glared at a passing bird. This whole situation was a mess. But it did give him time to think.
Ever since Black Doom had announced himself, he occasionally haunted Shadow's dreams. Not to tell him anything important, but more like he was seeing what was going on. Last night, it had been enough for Shadow to make contact and his father ran as fast as he could when he heard the news.
It was clear, he wasn't coming back. Except to just stick his nose in, laugh at the situation and then leave without being any help.
Eclipse was never going back to him.
Looking down at his sleeping brother, Shadow knew he'd have to tell him. Not now, because he'd probably cry for a full hour. But it didn't mean that the regular, teenage version of his little brother wouldn't take it any better.
In his mind, Shadow imagined his brother's golden eyes filling with tears, having to face the horrible news that he had been thrown away, that he wasn't wanted anymore.
Shadow felt his chest clench as he realized he was all that Eclipse had anymore. What a cruel and stupid joke was being played on both of them.
But for now, the tiny darkling just slumbered on, peaceful and content. One tiny hand clutched a handful of fur, a smile etched across his muzzle.
How could Shadow tell him? How could he break news so awful and terrible? It wasn't like Eclipse was sitting at the mouth of the cave every morning waiting for him... But... He did think his father was coming back. He trusted that he would.
Curse Black Doom for not being brave enough to actually say it to Eclipse's face. He could only say it in a dreamscape, where he could flee at any moment.
Gently, Shadow reached out with his other hand and stroked the side of Eclipse's face. "He's not coming back..." He mumbled, soft enough so it didn't disturb him. "He doesn't want you anymore."
That was a cruel thing to say... but it was also true. Should he actually tell his brother that when he actually told him? Was it better to say a comforting lie or a hard truth?
Feelings were complicated. This whole situation was complicated. It made Shadow growl, wanting to set Eclipse down and go attack something. But he couldn't. So he continued to sit there.
"But you won't even miss him," Shadow continued, taking care not to raise his voice, even though he wanted to. The emotions running through his body were a current of energy, begging to be released. "We'll be so busy, you'll forget all about him. I promise. You won't even need him anymore."
The hedgehog wasn't sure how he could promise that, but looking down at the little creature sprawled across his chest, it made sense. He might have been a mess himself, but he was going to try, the best he could for his brother.
And for now, that meant making sure he was fed, comforted and kept warm. As much as the little darkling annoyed him, it was what he deserved. As much as Shadow hated to admit it, he knew that much.
And as soon as Eclipse woke up, Shadow was storming over to Tails' workshop to demand to know why a cure for this was taking so damn long.
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he was born thirty-four years ago, is a werewolf, lives in white oaks as a music producer and private guitar lessons teacher, and is in no pack. he looks an awful lot like rory culkin.
"I'm living like a landmine Waiting to explode I'm ticking like a time bomb Ready to go I'm a danger to myself and everybody else."
tw: abandonment, anger issues, bullying, violence, alcohol, car accident, hit and run, attack, injury, hospital
Avery was left in his biological father and his husband's care when he was only a baby, being the result of a one night stand, Avery's mom never felt like she was fit for the role and so she tracked Avery's dad down and left the baby with him. Avery lived a very happy childhood making no distinction between his biological father and his partner, to Avery they were both dad, both his own flesh and blood. Despite this, there was always something troubling the boy, he was loved, cared for, yes, but in a way, he felt unwanted, because he could never understand his mother's actions, and the fact she never tried looking for him, check on how he was doing, even after many years, refusing any contact left Avery with this opened wound he hasn't been able to fully close. It was when he reached his teenage years the problems began, while Avery was always a sweet, kind person, he also struggled with impulse control and anger issues, due to the never knowing his mother and her side of the family, but also this being something that runs in the family as his father struggled with the same problems. Avery would get in fights at school he couldn't stand being bullied and would never back down when someone was not nice to him, also defending those who were bullied, though mostly this was an excuse to let some of the rage out. Avery's parents did their best to help him trough this issues, while one would sit down and talk to him, teaching how do deal with all those feelings, the other would help him find a way to gain more control of those impulses trough music... and that's how Avery fell even harder for it, latter becoming a music producer and playing guitar in a friend's band. So, his life was pretty good, Avery felt he had enough with his many friends and family, he was happy, and then...one night...everything changed... It was after a band's performance, Avery had a little more to drink than usual, which lead him to notice someone, and while he never really cared much for a relationship, love, sex, had honestly never been something that present in his life, there was something about this girl, he couldn't tell what, but Avery found himself agreeing to spend the night with her... on the way to her home an accident happened... they hit something with the car, Avery couldn't just allow her to keep driving and let whatever it was to die on the side of the road so he got out of the car to check. And that's what doomed him... He didn't had time to check what was the animal they hit, something come running out of the woods, something big...next thing he knows, the beast is on top of him, Avery feels claws, and teeth and...the car rushing away, she left him, she left him to die... He doesn't know what happened, who found him, all that Avery remembers is waking up in the hospital, his parents worried sick by his bedside... And Avery's body began to change... he couldn't explain what was happening, his senses were sharper, noises were hurting his ears and the rage...oh the rage...it was just too much to keep in... After a fight with his dad turned violent, Avery knew he needed to go, seek help, he had just hurt one the men he loved the most in the whole world, he was changing, becoming something he didn't like, he hurt his family! The rage was taking over and it felt not even working on his music was helping, not like before. So Avery left, to work on himself and figure out what he was becoming...living in Greywood for the past month helped him figure out what was happening, and now Avery hopes to find others like him, others that can help him gain the control over his powers he needs. Because there's no way he's coming back to his family and risk hurting them again... Or even wrose...
âwhat power did he attain when settling in greywood?â
None.
penned by... sandy
#town rp#mature rp#oc rp#supernatural rp#horror rp#literate rp#werewolf#rory culkin fc#abandonment tw#anger issues tw#bullying tw#violence tw#alcohol tw#car accident tw#hit and run tw#attack tw#injury tw#hospital tw#retired
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General thoughts about the reveal on who the Maggie in the Toronto arc was?
Also general thoughts on the arc?
i think its fun that she and blake are both connected (& she's the last tether blake has to anyone knowing he exists) via having both slipped through the cracks due to Whoopsie-Daisies. also say what u will about literally everything else in wb's writing but i like how girls in wildbow novels are more often than not grungy and a little weird. already talked abt the goblin thing some in the last maggiepost but i do really like the goblins. "pure distillations of the dirty abandoned scraps of the world which exist solely to kick you when you're down" is an extremely coherent and fun spin on goblins. the constant "fat = gross" associations are insufferable but the rest is solid. the padraic thing isn't one of the iterations of maggie's prophecy but it does feel fitting for her character that the girl who was initially inducted into being a practitioner via living somewhere that was slipping thru the cracks was fucked over for a Second time via slipping thru the cracks. i hope she is fucked over a Third time by it for rule of three. also i was in fact correct previously when i said this:
i also think sheâs probably still in over her head without realizing. sheâs manipulated into ordering someoneâs murder and then is like âyou know i think i can make up for this one AND go on a fun little adventure to add to my scrapbook of knowledge at the same time.â thatâs not how reality works! you killed someone! and then tried to semi-earnestly befriend slash mooch from their cousin! sheâs only been a practitioner for six monthsâi think thereâs a very fundamental disconnect btwn the maggie thatâs lucky enough to still have parents she can be a normal silly teenager with and the maggie thatâs making forays into The World Of Backstabbing, Horror, Murder, and Fates Worse Than Death. and i think that disconnect will result in strain for her as the fact that sheâs sort of doomed to do some really awful things, have some really awful things happen to her, and/or both sinks in.
except instead of just Strain. that fact had to sink in via her doing, as sandra put it, the magical equivalent of crashing a car 2 learn respect for the road. YA protagonist maggie holt died in the crash now it's just wannabe goblin queen mags scrambling 4 purchase in the wreckage. i believe in her i hope she captures sooo many crass little creatures. i'm glad that buttcheeks stuck around he's fun to watch :)
i don't feel like we actually know johannes yet. the thing about the really successful practitioners is that they're doing less Desperate Violent Scrabbling to maintain their positions and subsequently have more luxury of ostensible niceties and lofty philosophies. they should throw a bucket of mud on him and toss him to the wolves so i can see what he's like when shit gets real. also the entire arc is a really funny demonstration in how severely being a thorburn has fucked blake over. everyone is sooo much nicer to maggie than him he's out there playing on hard mode. this is what i mean when i say that alec would b a diabolist, diabolism is fundamentally abt when you are marked Rotten by the world by virtue of the family you've been born into, defined more by their legacy than by anything about yourself, even moreso than the other brands of practitionerism.
hmm anything else. oh yeah i think we should flog wildbow for crone mara. ok thats all. OH yeah and Not Being Maggie Holt Anymore is a really funny way to skip out on the other iterations of the prophecy. its that fairy bitch's problem now. i have a lot of thoughts on pact faeries but that's a post for one of the "why are pact creatures good" asks just know i'm rotating them in my mind rapidly
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The End of the World With You Ep 8 - Finale
Here we are. Last ep. Will our ragtag crew survive? Is Yuma a magic boy that has somehow managed to avert the worldâs impending doom? Does it really matter in the end? Guess weâll find out.Â
Aw, okay at first I was wondering wth Meguru was doing bringing Yuma into Madokaâs room, but I like that heâs trying to give Yuma a gift here, that his idol read his letters, that she kept them. I think that thatâs actually really sweet, and good to know, in a way. Sometimes it really is enough to know that youâve touched someoneâs life.Â
Okay, Yuma is totally a magic boy. We all saw that. Ritsu you saw that. Masumi you saw that. We can all stop and acknowledge as a collective that Yuma has something going on.Â
Which means that itâs very possible that damn meteor might just go away.Â
LOL. Oh, teenagers. Sure Yuma, Meguru was totally trying to confess to you. Why not. Love Masumi and Ritsu sharing that amused glance, too. They love him.Â
Idk, Ritsu, I think maybe Yuma can deal with a meteor. He managed to reverse death didnât he? Or at least keep that pill from working.Â
Never thought Iâd see the day when Ritsu was the one being hesitant about sex.Â
Aw, so Ritsu did go to the library on purpose to find Masumi. Thatâs almost cute...if you can forget that he was also hoping that he could get Masumi to help him with the dead body in his place, ha. Although maybe if Masumi hadnât been like âso not nice yo see you, bye,â he might have been content to just leave Yuma there. I'll just leave you to imagine that. Youâre welcome. Â
You know, there are worse ways to bring in the end of the world than with a sex marathon. Much worse. Get it, guys.Â
I KNEW it would do the ambiguous ending if it didnât go straight for kablooey. I knew it. But I like that. I like it a lot. I know itâs not going to be for everyone, but to my mind, the end of the world was never the point, not really. Like a lot of end of the world canons, it was more about learning to live, and to do what you can with the time youâre given. And maybe it was a bit about learning to connect with the people around you, rather than closing yourself off. And also maybe about learning to look for the impossible. Just a little.Â
This show was such an unexpected gem for me. It had me thinking a lot about forgiveness and the things that scar us and the way we scar ourselves, too. and I liked that it was so rich with character work. Ritsu especially was very compelling. Even though Iâm still not entirely sure I ever really came to like him, I did come to understand him. He was such a multilayered character and the actor did a great job with him. Iâve got to say Iâve never seen him in anything else but this has made me want to look up his other work, for sure.Â
And itâs almost made me forgive the other one for Senpai, This Canât Be Love.Â
Almost.
Final verdict: 8.5/10. A solid show that was well acted and well-scripted, one that made me think. One of the best things currently airing, imo and well worth the watch.Â
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