#autistic carmy

[birdiebats]

Me, an autistic, when my “highly restricted, fixated interests” actually makes it hard to accomplish or think about anything other than that thing: 😡

[aralisj]

I find the scenes of Al-Anon so interesting because they give us a glimpse into Carmy's inner monologue and the ideas behind some of his fuck ups.

The problem is Carmy thinks in a very literal, black and white sort of way, so whatever "advice" (in quotation marks because people are there to share their experiences not to directly solve each other's problems) he gets from the meetings is taken to the extreme.

So someone shares that routine and consistency helped them get through their grief? Time to implement a French brigade, even if he knows it's an outdated system that creates a toxic environment. Someone at meeting says that it's necessary to remove yourself from toxic situations? He alienates himself from the rest of the staff when they're arguing (aka all the time) which isn't good or sustainable since he's supposed to be leading the kitchen. He hears that it's important to keep his side of the street clean? He overloads himself to the breaking point to keep the restaurant afloat because he doesn't know where his street ends.

For season 2, we get only one Al-Anon meeting but it's vital to understanding Carmy's arc and eventual, inevitable breakdown. So, summed up, he says that he feels like he's supposed to be having fun and he doesn't know how to do that. Cut to being in a relationship with Claire. Their scenes together are gentle and quiet, and the contrast with the rest of the rest of the show is so stark that a lot of people have disliked the whole concept and taken it out on Claire as a character. Here's the thing: this is just another example of Carmy taking things to an extreme - and the tone of the show reflects that.

Relationships should be fun and conflict free, right? So he keeps the worst parts of him and his job out of it (Claire does the same to a degree). This is also why he doesn't pick up when Sydney calls and he's with Claire, and why he doesn't respond to Claire while he's in the kitchen - his two worlds cannot mix. Ultimately, this leads to his finale meltdown speech, because his relationship with Claire never truly melded with the rest of his life and has become unsustainable. His priority is and probably will always be the restaurant. And even though Claire tried to be supportive, she was a reminder of the past that didn't let him move on from his grief.

The difference in this instance is that the season ends before he can atone, find a middle ground (like he did with the rest of the "advice") and make it work for him.

(I am aware this probably has more to do with the fact that the writers didn't hope to be picked up for a season 2, and so they gave us as much closure as possible for season 1. The success of season 1 gave them enough confidence to leave it open ended this time around)

[g3othermal3scapism]

the kind of thing that makes you proud that nothing else had ever worked out

[yannaryartside]

Luca is relatable as fuck

I love him

Like, to see him making questions to the point of dragging the other chef to boredom, was the neurodivergent representation I didn't know I needed from the Bear (there are popular headcanons that Carmy and Sydney are on the spectrum too, but this was raw). I love him. I love him so much you guys have no idea.

It definitely seemed they have expanded on his character to be more “like Syd,” especially in a cut scene of Carmy speaking with other chefs. Like they were trying to said Luca is more like Syd in the social aspect. Like they are more “compatible” in plain sight. Moreover, when Syd and Luca started talking the chemistry was instant. I also like the comparison of Luca’s injuries and Syd’d injuries in their first days.

Carmy still was pretty close off and distracted in his conversations, didn't feel more at ease than in the Bear but at least I am happy he didn't try to be “Logan” (I know I am being an ass, I have been there, masking is kinda in the job description, but I don't want to see Carmy doing that shit ever again).

[smokietaylor]

I found a meme template of my man and you know I had to make a meme

[everyonesonthespectrum]

Today’s Autistic character of the day is:

Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto from The Bear

Requested by @ctxrover

[tvgremlin]

I need to stop watching The Bear with my family. They don’t get it like I do…

[thecapricunt1616]

I am a Carmen Autism truther. As an autistic - you can SMELL an autistic person from 50 MILES!! Carmen is AUTISTIC!!! Let me just break this down so clear.

-stutter. In autistic children (especially boys) stuttering in early childhood - Carmen’s MAIN source of insecurity is insanely common. This is likely due to the range and intensity in which autistic people feel our emotions, making it near impossible to get something out properly.

-stimming. Carmen STIMS. CONSTANTLY. And it’s so clear, because when he’s in high stress situations around OTHERS - he will stim in a ‘socially acceptable way’ like rubbing his neck, rubbing his face, playing with his hair. But- the second he has a meltdown alone he’s violently shaking his hands to the point of damaging the joints in his wrists, pacing back and forth, smacking his head, screaming in anger. That is AUTISM DUDE. He doesn’t do it in front of Sug, rich, or ANYONE because they AREN’T autistic, and he knows they will worry or not get it.

-ocd. Carm has raging perfectionism OCD in regards to his career, that is comorbid to his Autism. 40% of autistic people have OCD. His autism also ramps up his OCD to a max no neurotypical person would have it, because autism has an extra sense of black and white thinking and perfectionism - and also tunnel vision so he runs himself to the bone bringing things to life he saw them in his head.

-relationships. Carm has too many feelings. He knows this. That is why he calls himself a psycho, he feels that he feels too deeply. Which isn’t true. Autistics love in such a way that we can’t even find the words for it, that’s why he forces himself to swallow them all, which is the main culprit for his violence.

Pls if you want more- I can keep going lol.

[radio-ghost-cooks]

none of u understand how much trans! autistic! Carmy means to me

okay i need to clarify that whenever i talk abt autistic!Carmy he has no idea he's autistic. he has no idea how to handle it.

his top scars are all warped bc he couldn't afford to be out of the job long enough to heal properly. plus there's no way you could get him to stop working for any longer than like,,,,, 3-5 days. besides ya'll know he doesn't care abt himself enough to actually let it heal

it kinda pisses him off when people comment on his height because "yeah fucko i'm short, what about it? sorry i can't be a giant like the rest of you goddamn!" and he 100% has those height inserts even tho they hurt after being on his feet all day. its the price he pays for feeling like himself.

he gets so overstimulated sometimes but he doesn't know what to do abt it so he just marinates in it until he starts snapping and shaking and losing his focus. it pisses him off to no end (which doesn't help whatsoever). he taps whatever he's holding against the counter or flaps his hands as a stress stim and is totally developing an oral fixation from the nicotine gum.

he genuinely doesn't know why Richie is so upset with him after he apologizes for what happened on Friends & Family Night bc he really tried to apologize and it just fucks with him so badly bc he wants his friend back and it gets him more and more aggressive.

idk guys he just means so much to me.

[sarcasmcloud]

“We can’t operate at a higher level without consistency.” - The Bear s01

[soupgirlposts]

Carmy gives me the biggest “undiagnosed + highly masking” vibes. Idk if anyone else feels this way but to me everything about this man just screams neurodivergent

[silkshivvy]

you take the man out of the city, not the city out the man.

the bear is making me ill i fear

[aralisj]

hi umm if you wouldn't mind......... would u drop the "carmy is autistic" list..... because you're so right he's so autistic-coded but i want to compare notes

You don't know the can of worms that you just opened. Know that I cracked my knuckles and kicked my feet excitedly when I got this ask and I would LOVE to hear your insights too.

This is pretty much the format I used for myself, so I do apologize if there's something wrong with it. Also, this is only my appreciation of it and autism is a spectrum, etc.

Difficulty socializing - Imitating forms of communication (sign for "sorry", cursing) - Unable to read when he's being rude (shitty) and need for external confirmation from Sydney - Uneasy in group gatherings (not joining the rest of the staff for family during his first weeks at The Beef), avoiding social events (never been to a party, misses family reunions) - Can be gregarious when masking/using costumes - specifically the scene with him pretending to be Logan at the party - "And [Mikey] had this amazing ability. He could just, he could walk into a room, and he could take the temperature of it instantly. You know, he could just, he could dial it. And, um… I'm not built like that, man. I, um… I didn't have a lot of friends growing up. I had a, a stutter when I was a kid. I was scared to speak half the time. And, uh, I got shitty grades 'cause I couldn't pay attention in school. I didn't get into college. I didn't have any girlfriends. I don't think I'm funny."

Problems with body language - Cannot read easily when he's being teased/mocked and when he isn't: - He gets really defensive when Mikey and Richie mention Claire even if they're being genuine and doesn't calm down until Stevie says so. - He doesn't realize Sydney is joking at first in the alley scene or her outright mocking him in the S3 trailer ("I can sense the sarcasm" "No, no, no. Not sarcasm, snark, contempt even.") - Asking Sydney constantly what's wrong - he listens intently which suggests that he cares but he genuinely can't pick up on what the problem is - Lack of eye contact, especially at the beginning, giving priority to looking at the food than whoever he's talking to. He seems more comfortable with looking at Syd and Richie in the eye than the rest.

Difficulty making friends and navigating relationships - No romantic relationships before Claire (we assume 🤷🏻‍♀️) - When Claire called him and told him that Fak said he was his best friend, Carmy took a second to process and then agreed. He genuinely has no idea. - The whole "a girl who is a friend" debacle

Stimming - Fiddling with his spoon, shaking hands and blinking hard - Arguably, also smoking

Routine -~Consistency~ - "And the routine of the kitchen was so… consistent and exacting and busy and hard and alive" - Wears almost the same outfit every day (white t-shirt, slacks, coat, apron) - Doesn't deal well with change

Special interests - Cooking, drawing, (vintage) fashion - he's really out there cooking in hundred dollar t-shirts and gifting Thom Browne chef whites - Creative and flourishing in his chosen field ("I felt like I could speak through the food, like I could communicate through creativity. And that kind of confidence, you know, like I was finally… I was good at something, that was so new, and that was so exciting") - Understanding the world and other people in terms of food

Abnormal sensory response - Cannot stand certain sounds (~ball breaker~) and doesn't mind others (alarm) - Possibly heightened sense of taste/smell?

From childhood and more notorious overtime - Described as weird and shy even as a child - Stutter - Bad at school

More notorious under stress - Meltdowns and lashing out (1x07, 2x10) - Gets overwhelmed when plans change - Shutdown/anxiety attack after sleeping with Claire

Not playing cooperatively - Individualistic and cutthroat in the kitchen - VERY task focused (when he’s cooking HE IS COOKING) - Territorial over his things (knife) - He has a hard time finding a managerial style that suits him, delegating, and motivating the staff

Detail oriented - Toothbrush cleaning - The bowl thing in S3 trailer - His ~everything~ tbh

Depression, anxiety and APD comorbidity - Having special interests/happy stimming/needs shut down at a young age resulting in a pessimistic mindset (waiting for the other shoe to drop), anxiety attacks and unhealthy attachment styles - His trauma plays a huge role in this too but autistic children are particularly prone to suffering abuse in silence/staying in toxic environments and relationships

Insomnia

Alexithymia - "I Googled fun." - "I guess all the time I feel like I'm kind of trapped because I can't… Describe how I'm feeling. So to ask someone else how they’re feeling, that seems, uh… I don’t know, insane?" - "I hate this feeling" "What feeling, Carm?" "Uh, I'm not sure."

Black and white thinking - Difficulty focusing on more than one thing at a time, a very clear example is the majority of S2 when he's trying to juggle a relationship with Claire with opening the restaurant, while actively compartimentalizing the two of them, ignoring Syd's calls while he's out, then Claire's when he's at the restaurant - At the beginning of S1, he's hanging onto the idea that there's only ONE way to properly run a restaurant - Whatever "advice" he gets from Al Anon meetings is taken to the extreme, causing most of his fuck ups of S1 (more on this) - In the same vein, my boy can't understand a metaphor to save his life

I'm keeping track of the list (more or less) here

[g3othermal3scapism]

highschool au sydcarmy is just kinda james and alyssa from teotfw

[invisiblerambler]

Someone offhandedly said autism can be mistaken for narcissism and I can't stop thinking about it because like that would make sense why Richie would think Carmy is acting like Donna if his autism is presenting like narcissism.

[birdiebats]

The brainrot is real