#autism as much anymore
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UR GINGER???
im sorry ophelia, but idk if we can be friends anymore </3 im gingerphobic
/J /J
Oh boy /lh/nm
#I’m trying so hard not to sound mad I pinky pinky promise I’m not mad at you I’m just tired but I have made like 3 posts addressing this#kind of joke and the post I just made about expressing my feelings was me asking my friend not to say things like this about my hair or my#autism as much anymore#I get that you’re joking I really really do#but it’s just so fucking hard to hear after the millionth time bro#and I already hate myself and my appearance so much that hearing this every five seconds really doesn’t help#I’m sorry if I sound whiny or if I’m making a big deal out of nothing I’m trying not to be a baby about it or stress you out cuz I don’t#want you to think you did anything wrong cuz you didn’t and you couldn’t have known how much I’ve been struggling with this recently#but I really wish people would stop with the hatred of redheads even if it’s just joking because after a while of people just joking it#starts to feel like they’re just hiding behind the guise of a joke and trying to express how much they hate you#and when you already have an anxiety disorder that’s rlly easy to jump to#I’m sorry if this is annoying or dramatic and I’m also sorry if it makes you anxious at all I love you ghost I’m sorry I didn’t handle this#the way you probably expected I’ve just been really sensitive to stuff recently cuz I’m kind of at a low point but I’m getting off topic im#sorry#again I’m not mad I swear I promise#ghost 🖤#🪽#/gen all of it
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tail end of season seven you will always be famous
#so#i started this on krita w my old wacom tablet#well ! it won't calibrate anymore so i got as far as the base with what is my favourite digital brush of all time#before porting it back to my ipad and finishing it in procreate w my more recent brushes#so it's a bit all over the place#and i wasn't going to post it#but then. i'm trying to get over my art doing badly#so exposure therapy#ANYWAY HONEY CASSSS#i know it's been.... so much cas lately#autism i'm afraid#my art#spn#supernatural#spn art#spn fanart#castiel fanart#castiel#castiel art#supernatural art#honey!cas
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When the test subject they told you was aggressive is actually just angsty and autistic
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I figured if Wheatley were a human he would probably be part of a team that cares for test subjects. Which involves basic medical checkups and general wellness checks. Maybe in Chells case, since she’s so anti-social, he was tasked to be a sort of companion so they could get more information out of her for testing purposes. :3 he’s classified as a nurse and has basic training in it. But he’s not making sense because he’s kinda scared of Chell at first. She just thinks he’s weird and kinda smells bad.
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I have a hc on why Chell is a test subject I’m just gonna try to write it here
Basically her mother was too young and poor to raise a child so she felt it better to put Chell up for adoption. The orphanage she was raised in was being used by aperture to scout out children with certain “exceptional skills”. They noticed that Chell was highly intelligent and a great problem solver, but had no interest in spending time with others. She had no friends. And none of the other children noticed or cared when she left. She was probably adopted by a high ranking scientist and raised for the specific purpose of testing. She has little concept of social norms or things outside of aperture because she was taken from a “normal” environment so young. [like. Before she was 10 maybe? Idk.] but it doesn’t mean she’s dumb or anything, she just doesn’t really get it yk. Sorry if this is actually so stupid and embarrassing ignore me
#portal#portal 2#chell#wheatley#chelley#chell x wheatley#wheatley x chell#autism be damned my girl can be a child soldier#testing on people is bad#especially children#but aperture is bad so i wouldn’t put it past them#this is kinda stupid#I also like to just not think abt her backstory at all#I feel like she wouldn’t care much about who she used to be#because that person is dead and all their share is a body and first name#everyone who knew that girl is likely dead too#so there’s no point in searching for answers that don’t exist anymore#Chell is Chell and she’s okay with that#it’s like 3am sorry I just love portal it’s my special interest#yay#ughghvhghdchhf
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Rules: Make a poll with five of your all-time favorite characters and then tag five people to do the same. See which character is everyone's favorite!
I was tagged by @suddenrundown, thanks for the tag! I was so tempted to put "eliot's baseball hair" but I resisted (also polls don't allow strikethroughs. sad). tagging @michinaranja, @vero-niche, @acidmatze and anyone else who wants to play!
#does bulbasaur truly count as a character? irrelevant. he is my boy i can't not include him#and judge me all you like for vriska but she's been a favorite character of mine for over a decade now#she means so so much to me. my horrible problematic daughter with so many problems and crimes to her name and also a spider theme#what more could i want! i'm kinda sad i don't talk about her as much anymore but she's always there. in the corner of my brain#anyways i know i don't talk about the apothecary diaries as much either but this is a formal recommendation to everyone to go watch it#it's literally about an aroace with drug autism. i feel so seen#i tried to get a decent spread of characters so honorable mention to tsukishima haikyuu and mithrun dungeonmeshi#who got cut so this list wasn't all anime because i don't talk about them much despite the brainworms sldkjfsl#i also kept it to just one character per media cause it made it easier to keep myself to just five lsdkjfslf#otherwise it would be half the cast of trigun and half the cast of leverage and-
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As an adhd person I just want to say that I love every autistic person on this website.
You guys are literally the best fandom archivers out there. I’m so serious.
If you are new in just about any fandom search for the one autistic person whose special interest your newfound fandom is and it’ll be like you just met god at a nightclub.
You guys are too powerful and I thank you for your service from the bottom of my heart.
#autism#autistic community#special interest#neurodivergent#neurodivergency#adhd autism solidarity#adhd#fandoms#new to fandom#tumblr guide#advice#i‘m so serious though… I used to be part of a tiny fandom and there was one lady who had archived everything about the people in question#it has been her special interest for 16 years - she‘s in her late 30s now#and that woman is on such a different level of obsession and I love her so much for it#don‘t care for that fandom anymore but I still sometimes read her blog because she inspires me#never stop being yourself
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FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT YOU ARE NOT TOO MUCH!
If anyone tells you, that you are too much: They are wrong. You are NOT too much. Really.
Some people might not appreciate your vibe.
Some people might feel weirded out by your actions.
Some people might feel overwhelmed when around you.
Some people might not understand you
These people are valid in their feelings.
BUT! That does not make you too much. Not at all.
Don't be less for anyone!
#the number of times I have been called too much#I really can't count anymore...#maybe you need to surround yourself with other people. That's okay too. You will find people that think you are not too much.#neurodivergent#adhd#autism#mental health#audhd#autistic#neurodiversity#bpd#neurodivergence
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in my head, kieran survived the o’driscoll kidnapping, but by the time he’d got back to shady belle after someone found him bleeding out in the street and took him to the doctor, the gang was gone, and he took the opportunity to escape the gang lifestyle, running off to strawberry and beginning work with the timber folks
years later, you can find him at pronghorn ranch in epilogue 1, lovingly tending to the horses in the barn when you go to scoop the manure, and he’s made an honest living for himself. and the o’driscolls are gone because sadie killed then all and he is finally safe and happy is anyone listening can anyone hear me
#does anyone care where javier fits in here#in my little mind world they run off together but not at the same time#i want to write more about this but i have no idea where to start and this is all i can find the words for at the moment#if my brain can work for a little longer i may reblog w javi’s side of this au#it takes him a lot longer to actually buck up and run off but it happens literally right before the pinkertons come to beaver hollow#like he takes the opportunity during the height of the confusion when john renters camp to run off#because john is alive and dutch lied and he misses kieran so much and it’s just his last straw#his heart is broken and loyalty matters to him still more than anything but it isn’t dutch he’s loyal to anymore#i’m literally delusional#autism is a crazy thing cuz why am i literally making up an entire au and constantly thinking abt a ship that literally only 3 people in the#world ship#please put me down i wish i could have gotten hyperfixated on a Normal ship but noooo#it’s THIS ONE#someone please indulge me i have so may thinks and thots#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#javieran#i won’t tag javi because. he’s literally not mentioned in the actual post LOL#text#hero's talking to himself again
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do you still dislike spam-reblogs? i want to reblog all your art but i don't want to annoy you. how much should i spread it out?
I’ve given up ive just started manually checking my inbox and recent posts for asks and replies so i don’t miss them. Its too much to ask of tumblr to implement Stacked Notifications like a normal modern app….. just do what you must……
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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When the hyperfixation gets so strong it starts making you physically ill 🥰
#the autism is autisming#x men comics#logan x kurt#I can read fanfics anymore cause I kept getting so excited I’d get sick#even just think about Kurt Wagner makes me a tad nauseous out of pure joy#I love him so much#silly guy tm#kurt wagner#nightcrawler
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being autistic is only having the spoons to try to make friends mmmm once every 5 years or so and then rinsing and repeating until you die
#autistic_swagger.jpeg#like i can literally count back every 5 years and be like oh yeah! i had the strength to mask and try to meet people :(#which isn’t necessarily good but like friends are important and it’s hard#and like…..making them is so much easier than keeping them#especially with audhd going on in my brain. like out of sight out of mind!#or worse—i’m sitting there thinking everything is good & fine and thinking about a friend a lot#but meanwhile they’re like we haven’t seen each other in ages i thought we weren’t friends anymore#actuallyautistic#autistic#autism#adhd#audhd#neurodivergent#neurospicy
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sorry but saying that the accessibility needs of mentally disabled people are just preferences or about "comfort" is blatantly incorrect. if i can't enter a building because the bright lights and loud noises would send me into a meltdown, then i can't enter the building, and that's not less important than me not being able to enter a building because it's not wheelchair accessible. if you genuinely think that mentally disabled people aren't really struggling, and that it's okay to mock their very real concerns, then that just shows that you've been refusing to listen to their experiences. do better or shut the fuck up.
#yeah yeah i know i said i wouldn't post about this stupid fucking 'discourse' anymore#but i keep seeing takes that make my blood boil#physical and mental disabilities are two sides of the same coin! yes there are differences but also a lot of commonalities#but nooooo expecting people to have even an ounce of fucking compassion for those who dont share their exact lived experience#is too much to ask for i guess#i've said this many times before but gatekeeping and infighting will get us nowhere#throwing your fellow disabled people under the bus won't help you#i get people's anger - i have a lot of anger too as someone who is housebound with a physical disability#but other disabled people arent your enemy#and taking your anger out on them is just a dick move#especially if you do so using the same ableist 'its all in your head' rhetoric#that mentally disabled people have had to put up with since forever#disclaimer: obviously not all physically disabled people act like that. from what i can tell its just a small (but very vocal) minority#but it's pervasive enough to make me wary of online spaces for physical disabilities#which is kinda sad seeing as i have a physical disability myself and would love to connect with others#but i'm not super keen on being told that my autism (which has significantly impacted me my whole life) doesn't matter
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Chapter 2 Page 15
#my art#visionary#webcomic#comicfury#white bg for tumblr because i cant see anything and its already torturing my images and making them blurry whatever#a hallmark of my 'creative writing' from middle and early high school is the random references to other texts#mostly music stuff and when i look at it now it feels like a maze of things i barely remember anymore or dont have as strong a connection#to or would never put in my writing in the present day. i did this with 'i contain multitudes' earlier lol repeating this habit but i've#been slacking on making it a consistent theme because there hasn't been much recent narration/monologue. thinking about it again though.#as fixation-seeking autism. but anyways - the waste land is a foundational text and those words are not hers
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is there a comprehensive list somewhere of all the serious injuries kiryu has ever gotten because man am i curious. i want to know the Full Scope of how fucked up this man’s body must be
#it’s for. science#and to appease the autism brain goblins#cause like off the top of my head. he’s been stabbed in the chest/abdomen (critically) at least 2-3 times. shot in the chest/abdomen#at least three times. more stab wounds and bullet wounds that Weren’t as serious (like in the shoulder or what have you)#a BILLION instances of blunt force trauma to the head like Jesus Christ. in yakuza 6 alone he’s clobbered in the head enough times in a row#that it’s probably equal or More to what literally Killed tachibana#his lungs have probably been punctured by bullets or whatever else a few times and yet he STILL smokes. admittedly much less than he used to#due to not wanting to do it around the kids and because there’s hardly any places you’re allowed to smoke anymore (that’s for the best#in his case) like at least he’s not as bad as akiyama. but still good god you should not be smoking at All. dr emoto should slap you#who fucking knows dude he might have only one kidney left in there at this point. his guts have been thoroughly rearranged Not in a sexy way#rambling#kiryu
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2 weeks at uni and I’ve already reached peak procrastination. I found masking tape and somehow decided that the best use of my time was to make a tiny Belphemon-sleep.
#I actually can’t wait till student finance have processed my dsa#maybe next year or something I should look for an adhd diagnosis? if I’m having this much trouble focussing and a cup of coffee doesn’t work#anymore as a way for me to focus maybe I should see if meds would help?#(when I got my autism diagnosis i was also told its possible that I have adhd. I’d privately suspected adhd before I considered autism)#like. some days I can focus. it feels like I’m balancing on a knife-edge and it’s very stressful#and I can’t do it on command or anything#but sure#seeing one piece of fanart with Boy from tts#and my whole day goes down the drain because I can’t drag myself away from the series#and listening to video game soundtrack helps but then if I do that too much I start feeling lonely but I can’t listen to a podcast because#then I focus on that above the work I’m meant ti be doing#and even then I might look up other stuff about the video game I’m listening to#and the worst times are when I become self aware and that really breaks my focus but I know I’ve got to keep going#and then at the end of the day I feel awful because I’ve done about 1-2 hours actual work in 6 hours#time I could have spend doing other work or#heaven forbid#enjoying myself#that was more of a rant than I expected#I’m doing ok I think#I hope#i know I’m not meant to compare myself with others#but I’ve done more work than my flatmates#and that at least makes me feel a little better#I’m going to get myself a coffee now#hopefully that’ll help me today#my goal is at least 200 words#then I can stop#actually autistic#autism#personal rant
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Always weird to think most of us like 10 years ago were going to school/college and watching dnp and flash forward to now we are all *gulps* adults and adulting out the in the real world, and still watching dnp
Is your job full time? Crying at work, I’ve been there. Hope you’re good 👍🏻
i wish it was 10 years ago again lmao 😭 yeah it’s full time and it’s a small business and we have more orders than we can handle and now my mean ass has become the customer service email rep and it’s so stressful being nice to dumb people and i can’t keep up 😂
i’m currently hiding in the bathroom for a break cos i feel so overwhelmed 😂
#i also am doing so much overtime right now i literally can’t keep up with dnp like i usual do#and that stresses out my autism cos idk what’s going on at all anymore 😭#bethanie answers
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