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Clementine von Radics, from “Letter from Anaïs Nin to Clementine von Radics”
Text ID: For women who are tied to the moon, love alone is not enough.
#clementine von radics#miscellanea#i see this quote so often incorrectly cited.#people have confused the name of the poem as being a letter from anaïs nin.#the poem itself is entirely dissimilar to anaïs nin which is silly.#so anyway!#a correction.#i’m not necessarily a fan of the author or this poem in it’s entirety but i do feel bad it’s often attributed to nin.#quote#poetry#america literature#lit
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I love libraries.
I'm browsing the WWI shelves (as you do) and notice a very old book about the war. I glance at the first pages that talk about how one day the war will be over and we'll look at this place and not see any signs of the battlefield.
Then it hits me. And I check the publishing date.
This book was printed before the war's end. Not written. Printed. The physical object was created in 1918, while the war in question was raging and the end was as yet uncertain.
Now I'm standing on the other side of the apocalypse, with this physical link to that era in my hands. I'm living proof that the war did end and life did go on and we can all look at the end of the world as a long-ago memory.
Reading old books is cool enough, connecting our minds and hearts through the ideas of people who lived long ago, but there's something extra profound about holding a copy of the book that comes from the time that it was written. It's a physical link between the past and the present connecting me to those long-ago people. A piece of the past come into the future that gives me the chance to almost take the hand of some long-ago reader, to hold something they could have held, connecting not just mentally but physically to their era, a moment of connection across more than a century.
Excuse me while I go weep.
#books#history is awesome#of course i checked it out#i had no real intent to read wwi non-fic but i couldn't just leave my new friend there it'd be lonely#i want to break out in tears every time i look at it#it's so stupid but sometimes something stupid just kicks you straight in the heart and you just gotta deal#it's old front line by john masefield#i know nothing about it except thinking the author's name sounded vaguely familiar#also the interior design is fantastic#these old books know how to use white space and make something super readable#if you must know i was in the wwi section because i was at the history museum the other day#and saw a local author had a book of wwi letters#thought i'd see if the library had it#looked at the selection of non-fic surrounding it and thought of the wwi persuasion#saw many books that could be useful#and thought 'oh no this looks like fun'#it won't go anywhere i know i won't be able to focus long enough to do real research#but darn if it wasn't an appealing little daydream
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new limited edition firefighter spacesuit hazmat itfs just dropped
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#itadori yuuji#fushiguro megumi#fanart#jjk fanart#yuuji#megumi#ignores the clock NICE 2 draws up in a day :)#needed smth quick n loose n easy after th behemoth tht was my last draws#these fits r.....something#i still do not like megumi's colour palette here but i think adding extra values n making his skin tone a bit less saturated helped#also toned down the orange#also fixed his hair >:( ily gege i respect u so much but pls....respectufully.... do a better job slicking back his hair........#anyway i realized midway through sketching tht the angle yuuji is at does Not show the majority of the belts around his hips n thighs#so i made some educated guesses but i do not claim 2 b an authority on Belt Placement#similarly ! guessed at the text on their jackets i Can Not Read#is it a 9? is it an S? lower case g? cyrillic/???? who can say i went with 9#and gun 2 my head i cld not tell u what R-<3-T-E stands for . if those r even the letters#oh well i tried my best not bad fr 6 hours
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“I’m tired, can’t think of anything and want only to lay my face in your lap, feel your hand on my head and remain like that through all eternity.”
— FRANZ KAFKA, LETTERS TO MILENA
#spilled thoughts#spilled words#franz kafka#poet#author#text#love#letters to milena#feelings#words#literature#english literature#light academia#romantic academia#prose#intimacy#chipsy
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So this song fits them so very well right?
#malevolent#john doe#john doe malevolent#john malevolent#arthur lester#tw blood#cw blood#implied child death#cw bones#tw bones#my art#if i need to add more tags just ket me know#idk the original author or the name of the actual song im sorry :((#but this was stuck in my brain and i just had to draw it#theyve been in my brain rent free :[#this was kinda a pain in the ass to color tbh and to actually draw#also i need to practice lettering :///#but its done and im very happy about that i out a lot of thought into it#the stuff in the middle represents the people they hurt/killed (sorry no parker and like some creatures)#also are you guys going insane they are indeed holding hands!!!!?!?! crazyyyyy
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A fun fact about "Bertie Changes His Mind" is that Bertie's preferred method of daughter acquisition (viz., adoption) is one he shared with Wodehouse, at least partially. Wodehouse clearly didn't mind the "marriage" part of the process, but he never had biological children and seemingly had no interest in doing so (everything we know about him points to him being very asexual):
Another fun fact is that he enlisted the help of his daughter Leonora on this particular story for the scenes in the girls' school:
The "intimidating headmistress" archetype was also pulled from Wodehouse's real life, and this will not be the last time we see her in the Jeeves stories:
(first and last excerpts are from P.G. Wodehouse: man and myth by Barry Phelps. The letter to Leonora is from Yours, Plum, edited by Frances Donaldson.)
#all wodehouse's letters to leonora are incredibly precious btw#he absolutely doted on her#real contender for the “number 1 dad” title#and since bertie clearly has some author self-insert qualities i like to think he would've been a good dad too#or at least a great fun uncle#letters regarding jeeves#jeeves and wooster#jeeves books#carry on jeeves#bertie changes his mind
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your heart, a sonnet
Author!Joel Miller x F!Reader
summary: you discover there’s more to your boyfriend than you realize
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY MDNI, no outbreak/modern AU & Joel has both his daughters, surprise hidden identity reveal, grumpy but soft!Joel who has a secret love language of writing and love letters, mentions of unspecified age gap (reader’s age is not mentioned but Joel is older & in his 50’s), light discussion of reader and Joel’s insecurities, reader is addressed as darlin/honey/baby, a few spicy moments where Joel gets handsy
word count: 5.3k
a/n: I know, I know… this doesn’t seem like the typical Joel fic but i blame Pedro’s look at the Hollywood star walk of fame ceremony because it immediately made me think ‘oh that’s Joel’ and now here we are lol I couldn’t have done this without my forever babe @the-wild-wolves-around-you and i can’t thank her enough along with @ahauntedcowboy for always letting me scream about all my wild ideas, and now to you, if you’re reading this too I also can’t thank you enough ♡
You first met Joel at a bookstore.
The weekend after your birthday you went in to treat yourself and wandered into the records section of the store. As you flipped through the selections, the sudden sight of a Fleetwood Mac album had you inhaling sharply in surprise.
“S’good one.” That’s when the sudden smooth drawl of a southern accent floated out to you.
A few steps beside you stood an absolutely gorgeous man. The evergreen plaid button up shirt he wore flattered him as if it was made to be only worn by him. Rugged and distinguished, he seemed like a romance hero plucked straight out from one of the books among the shelves. You even blinked a few times wondering if he was real.
“If you don’t take it, might have to fight ya for it.” Even with his gruff low voice, an underlying teasing nature radiated friendly and light.
Now, many months later, a piece of you believes you might have fallen for him right then and there.
Joel is a rare beautiful soul of a man. He’s strong and a bit rough around the edges. He used to work as a contractor, even managed to build a very reputable business with his brother. His hard work remains effortlessly etched into his hands that now type editing books, his current job. He’s kind, so deeply loyal and loves fiercely.
With a yawn, you slip out of bed to pull on his cozy Texas longhorn shirt.
Heading downstairs, you walk among the clouds.
Instead of working at his office desk, Joel sits at the dining table typing away. Just seeing him wear his reading glasses sends a delicious desire trickling through you like a soft rain.
His dark earth eyes flicker up over the edge of his laptop and his gaze softens.
“Was wonderin’ when you were gonna wake up.” His wonderfully smooth as molasses voice makes you want to get caught up in its sticky sweetness.
“It’s not even that late. You’re one who woke up wanting to get work done on a Saturday.” You scoff playfully yet press your lips to his, a soft good morning greeting.
“Besides…who’s the reason I slept in so soundly, hm?” You smile against Joel’s lips that now twitch with a smirk.
His large warm hand slowly creeps up against your bare leg and rubs soft against your skin. After a few sleepy kisses, Joel’s tongue smoothly slips into your mouth trying to now consume you with a syrupy heat.
Joel pulls you down onto his lap. Your hands run up his chest to his cherub curly gray hair. His lips leave yours to start nipping at your jaw.
“What happened to working, cowboy?” You sigh softly.
“Come keep me company, darlin’.” He breathes out and any hope of maybe making breakfast is happily forgotten.
The rest of the morning unfolds at a nebulous pace you bask in.
When a late brunch is finished and you start cleaning up the kitchen, Joel’s warm solid hands map out your hips with other plans in mind. He slides behind you, a towering comfort that you lean back against.
“You’re extra handsy today Mr. Miller.” You tease.
“I can stop?” Joel offers while his scruffy beard scrapes a path against your skin. Against you, his broad shoulders, his wonderfully built frame, wraps you in his protective cover.
You hum a content no and move your hands over his now.
“Just wanna enjoy being with ya before I get busy.” Joel mutters while his hand slides down your cozy lounge shorts.
You had forgotten about his upcoming work plans.
You already want to mourn the impending weekend without him, but that can wait for another day. Especially when his thick fingers delicately, so sinfully, run up and down your underwear playfully touching you.
But then that weekend arrives and it brings a hollowness.
Lounging on the couch back at the apartment you share with your best friend, you force yourself not to text Joel again. He’s busy and you know this. So you vow to hold all your yearning and longing chained inside like a Jane Austen heroine.
“Are you done sulking?” Your best friend teases from the kitchen and you glare at her from the couch.
“I get it, being awake from your hunky handsome older boyfriend is hard. What will you ever do?” She snickers playfully. You’re tempted to throw the nearby couch pillows at her.
“What did you say his job was?” She asks.
“He used to be a contractor, but now he’s a book editor.” You answer.
“A hardworking hot Texas cowboy who reads and is a good man? Yeah, keep him locked up.” Your best snorts and you understand exactly what she means.
Fanged temptation claws at you more to text him again. Joel promised he would call you tonight and you don’t doubt him. But you didn’t realize how badly you’d missed him.
“Alright,” your best friend declares. “No more moping! I’m dragging you out with me to that book signing I’ve been talking about.”
She’s been obsessed with this apocalyptic novel series for so long. You happily tag along and even perk up when you see how excited she gets.
“And the author is finally doing a book tour! He’s kept his identity hidden this entire time so I wanna get a chance to maybe just even see him!” Your best friend gushes the entire time she drives you both to the bookstore the signing would be held.
Just so happens it’s the same bookstore where you first met Joel. A deep surge of affection swallows you whole and you float on blissful lovesick nostalgia.
Then the impressive line already waiting outside the front doors stuns you.
“I told you! It’s a big deal! Plus the series is so good.” Your best friend exclaims. She has been trying to get you into the series for a while.
The core of it focuses on two young girls who manage to survive an apocalyptic fungal zombie outbreak. The series follows the girls growing up, the journey to live with each other, and how it slowly bonds them as sisters.
“I heard they’re trying to make a Netflix series on it.” Your friend adds hopeful.
You can’t help but snag your best friend’s book copy she also hopes will get signed. Flipping through the front pages you land to the dedication page.
“To my baby girls, this will always be for you two.”
The author must have based the series on their daughters. That’s adorable.
Now curious, you flip to the first chapter.
“After seeing the end of the world, after witnessing the carnage of life consume itself, Ellie thinks she’s seen it all.”
Your best friend's sudden excited laugh pulls you out of the book. She’s talking with the other fans in line and you decide to join in.
Everyone discusses how worth the wait will be and how most of them even purchased the newest released book to make sure they reserved a slot for the signing.
“So why’s the author finally doing a face reveal?” You ask quietly not wanting to seem too out of place.
“So apparently,” your best friend begins in her hush about to spill the good gossip voice. “Some random ass moron on Twitter came out and said they were the true author. It became a whole messy issue of who it really was.”
Your best friend goes into more detail about how even a couple of online sites had articles on it.
“That’s awful.” You sympathize with the author. It must’ve been a headache trying to enjoy the peace of anonymity only for it becoming something used against them. You can only imagine how heartbreaking it was to see others steal and take credit for your work.
Like a surprise strike of lightning, an electric excitement suddenly breaks through the air.
Glancing up, you watch the line rapidly move towards the front doors. Time to go in.
Unfortunately, the main seating for the reading and q&a fills up fast. The bookstore though manages to wrangle the remainder of the crowd that can fit on the first floor towards a section where they can watch. It’s more than enough for your best friend who’s about to burst with anticipation. The buoyant commotion in the room even pulls you into its current and you get excited to see the new surprise author.
Soon a chic handsome older looking man, the moderator of the event, scurries to the front of the gathered group.
Warmly he begins the introduction to the writer.
First, writing sweet children’s books, stories for his daughters, those works became the author’s first publications. After that he navigated apocalyptic writing and his hit series has earned critical acclaim.
“Simply known as the anonymous writer J Miller. I’ve had the greatest pleasure to know this man as both his friend and now agent and I’m beyond proud to introduce him to you. Everyone please help me in welcoming J Miller!”
The thunderous applause and screams of excitement galvanize the entire room.
Then Joel walks out from the side.
Your heart instantly leaves your body.
For a moment you think your lovesick yearning heart has you slightly projecting Joel in any man you might see.
But the minute you focus, truly watch him slide into the chair, you see him.
Soft gray grown out curls, a strong beautiful nose, the patchy beard with the spots you love to kiss, and his reading glasses - the ones he’s so self conscious about because of how they make him look “so good damn old,” yet you love how they distinguish and elevate his appearance. You even remember the first time Joel wore them while he read waiting for you.
Truth makes its way into your heart.
It’s Joel.
The famous mystery author is your Joel.
“Thanks Frank.” And when he takes the mic, thanking his agent, his slick southern sunset voice melts the crowd.
“So, uh he’s gorgeous?!” Someone behind you squeals.
“Who would’ve thought he’d be this hot?!” Someone adds.
The whispers and mummers swarm like wasps buzzing all around you and you want to swat at them.
You can’t wrap your mind around this or the amount of emotions rushing through you. You feel separated from your body, floating detached from the scene and trying to gather yourself back.
Why didn’t he tell you?
Did he not trust you?
Joel suddenly laughs at something Frank says, that gruff wonderful laugh you hear after you show him a ridiculous video or his daughters tease him. It snaps you back into awareness.
“He’s about to read a section!” Your friend giddily whispers under her breath
Now you fully focus on this man, this almost stranger.
He’s so handsome it isn’t fair. He looks like a distinguished professor and your throat tightens seeing how broad his shoulders look in the dark casual suit jacket he wears.
“One of my favorite parts.” He admits quietly. “It’s when Ellie and Sarah realize they can make it outta Pittsburgh together.”
His daughters. He named his characters after them.
Joel clears his throat and begins.
He reads the passage with a magnetic cadence. The words slip from him like the smooth drink of whiskey that lingers on your tongue. When he finishes, an ache twists in your chest.
The applause he gets is shatteringly loud. The smallest bit of pride does float through you. But confusion drowns it out.
The floor now opens to quick questions. Some are about the book itself and the certain decisions made writing wise. Others are obviously about why he stayed hidden for so long.
That one perks you up quickly.
In such typical Joel fashion, he shrugs.
“Just couldn’t figure out Twitter, s’all.”
Everyone laughs at his playful reply and you do as well, but it sounds hollow and watery.
Soon enough the last question arrives.
“Do you ever see yourself writing for any other genres? I mean, we’ve seen horror and some moments of romance in the series. So I’m just curious if you’d write anything else?!” The lady asks brightly and now you simply settle your thoughts aside to listen.
Joel chuckes, a bit breathless and his gaze drops. This entire time he’s teetered between a sly southern charm that’s hypnotized you, to being guarded almost a bit nervous.
But now a boyishly hesitant grin falls over him and it’s so familiar.
”Uh, guess romance would be the next I’d maybe try.” He answers low, bashful.
The crowd erupts into fangirl like shrieks.
“Right?! I keep saying he doesn’t know the potential he has if he became a romance writer!” Frank, who has such a bright and lovely personality, adds.
Too many emotions clash in you.
You wonder if he wants to explore romance writing because of you?
Or a much harsher voice creeps out from the back of your mind whispering maybe you’re just being used for source material.
You quickly stomp those thoughts away.
The rest of the event shifts to the signing and you walk in a sort of guided daze.
“You okay?” Your best friend asks gently, noticing your slight mood change.
You don’t have the heart to tell her the truth yet. This was something she had been looking forward to and you didn’t want to ruin her excitement or experience. So you wearily just smile and tell her your head simply started hurting.
She sympathetically nods.
“Thankfully we won’t be waiting too long.” She adds and explains how the signing would be called by groups.
“We might not have gotten seats, but we did manage to sneak into group A for the signing.” She grins proud and it lifts your spirits.
The line curls against the sides of the bookshelves blocking your view of Joel. It becomes both a blessing and a curse.
Maybe you should wait in the car for his and your sake?
However, something inside you slightly bitter, raw and wanting answers, decides to stay. Besides you, your dear friend tries to keep herself calm but you can sense her bubbling nervous energy.
“I’d be calmer if he wasn’t so damn attractive.” She hisses and a jealous flare gently rises in you.
“Just think,” you reassure her. “He’s probably just as nervous as you.”
The relieved comforted grin she gives you makes staying worth it. But then all of that flies out the window the closer and closer you get to Joel.
Petrified dread claws its way in when you realize your best friend is next in line.
“He looks kinda familiar now that we’re closer.” The casual comment your friend says makes your heart sink.
“Maybe.” You mutter.
The times Joel has been to your place your roommate, your best friend, has been either at work or sleeping. You can only think of the first instant you introduce Joel to her when he picked you up on a date.
Your eyes flicker straight to Joel.
His hair seems so perfectly curled and his dark jacket highlights his wonderful grays.
Thankfully, any discussion of who he might look like gets squashed because your best friend gets called next in line. She turns to you squeaking excitedly and you beam back bright.
Joel lifts his eyes up, like a true southern gentleman wanting to give someone his full attention.
You wait on the side and watch the interaction unfold. Joel chuckles at something your best friend says and you’re glad she’s enjoying herself.
The book signing is done so fast. In a blink, it’s finished. With her newly signed book, your friend turns to you. She makes a slightly embarrassing but endearing noise of excitement that has you laughing.
That’s when your eyes flicker over to Joel and your gaze locks with his.
Instantly, Joel’s handsome face drops. His gorgeous earth eyes widen as he immediately recognizes you. His mouth falls open slightly and a flash of something close to fear fills the depths of his eyes.
He breathes out your name on a shaky exhale.
Everything seems to slow and stop. You don’t know what to say. So all you do is weakly smile.
The fleeting moment fades. The next group in line already giggles moving towards the table.
Time’s up. Turning on your heels to leave with your friend, Joel calls out to you, calls your name.
“Wait!”
You freeze.
Glancing back at him, Joel’s eyes pin you on the spot. An unspoken heaviness hangs in his deep eyes while he stares intently at you.
“It’s okay, we’ll talk later.” By some strange possession of slight bravery, or maybe delusion, you manage to speak.
But it’s all you can say and it’s all you can do before Frank, Joel’s agent, slides in to whisper something to him.
The moment again shatters.
Your best friend however grills you the rest of the day
That’s when you pull out your phone. You show her a photo you secretly took of Joel. It’s one where he’s adorably glaring at his ipad while he tried ordering take out for dinner.
Your best friend shrieks. “He’s your boyfriend?!”
He is.
Your boyfriend, Joel, is a writer, a very famous best selling author.
And that weight yanks you under a dangerous current you can’t seem to swim against.
Even after lunch, even getting back to your apartment and trying to settle your thoughts, your emotions are still so tangled.
You mindlessly scroll through your phone for the rest of the day and a blink, you notice it’s already early evening. Your plan to stay sulking is ruined when your phone starts ringing so loud.
It’s Joel.
“Hello?” You answer as composed as you can.
“Darlin?” His beautiful rich voice sounds hesitant and guarded.
“Hi.” You reply back quietly.
“Can we talk?” He asks just as low.
You agree, expecting to have the discussion on the phone. Except a knock taps on your apartment door and scares you right out of your body.
Ever proactive, ever the man who takes action, Joel stands waiting for you when you open the door.
You’re thankful more than ever that your best friend went to the gym for the evening.
“Wanna sit outside for a bit? Maybe get some air? S’really nice outside today.” He offers gentle.
He’s breaking up with you. That’s what your mind jumps to.
At least the weather is surprisingly kind this early evening.
You’ve sat out here on your apartment’s decent sized balcony with Joel before. But now the energy between you and him shifts strangely.
The sky stretches above a soft sherbet orange. A breeze comes, thankfully not too cold, but you think about maybe heading in to grab a blanket.
Joel however quickly slings off his jacket and drapes it over you. Always the gentleman.
The smell of his cologne, so comforting and masculine, wraps around you like a cloud.
You thank him with a soft small smile and Joel nods. Then he sighs and leans forward on the folding chair.
“Always loved the outdoors.” He begins, a small olive branch of a conversation to break the tension. “The girls and I love hiking the trails out by the lake. You ever been?”
You shake your head no.
“Maybe one day we can all go together.” The comment holds hope, a delicate thread of it. Yet you catch the hesitation.
Your eyes flicker to him, confused and cautious.
“Wait, you aren’t breaking up with me?” You blurt out, maybe just wanting to get it over with. You hate the way your voice cracks slightly.
Joel, with his beautiful concerned wide eyes, snaps his face to you.
“What? Honey no. Thought maybe you’d be the one maybe tryin’ to break up with me.” Joel, who Sarah jokes about how some of their neighbors question if he’s perpetually grumpy, stares at you with a tenderness that melts you to your core.
You can’t help but laugh watery.
“Why d’ya think I’d want to end things with you?” He asks patiently.
You can think of so many.
He’s a famous writer who’s about to maybe become an online sensation. He’s older than you, wiser and seasoned. He’s a full on father with young teenage daughters.
So you reveal your heart to him and all the fears that dwell in its shadows. You wipe away a few tears that manage to spill out.
Joel moves to hold your hands in his, a guarded warmth and protection keeping you stable.
With a heavy sigh, Joel’s attention fully focused on you.
“Honey…I’m so sorry for not telling you about my work, about me, sooner.” He earnestly apologizes and his words drip with comforing earnesty.
Now his gaze drops down to where your hand sits in his.
“Didn’t want it complicatin’ things with us. I knew I had to tell you eventually. But really…I was worried you’d see me differently once you knew. I know I don’t seem like the writin’ type anyway.” He mutters and you miss the hint of embarrassment coloring his tone.
You squeeze his hands.
This could never make you look at Joel in a negative light. If anything, you now feel proud knowing he’s a writer. You do explain your worries though and the ache you felt knowing he kept his from you.
“I know darlin’ and I promise,” he squeezes your hands now. “No more secrets between us.”
“You…us…means more to me than you’ll know.” He adds and you draw his hands up to your mouth.
You kiss his worn hands, his hard working beautiful hands that now move to hold your face so tenderly in their grasp. His thumb strokes your bottom lip delicately as if you’ll disappear from his sight.
“Can I kiss ya baby?”
You nod and in that same breath Joel pulls you towards him. He kisses you light, delicate enough that you feel so precious and treasured within his hold.
It seems like such a simple small kiss but it soaks into your bones.
You have so many questions. And as much as you’d like to make out with your boyfriend on the balcony, you’d like answers.
So you pull away and stand up.
Joel looks adorable as confusion paints his face.
“Don’t worry I’m just getting us a blanket.” You grin at him as you sling on his jacket claiming it as your own.
Blanket in hand you now curl up with him in the lawn chair, thankful for its sturdiness and cozy size. Your heart soars at how quickly Joel pulls you into his arms and basically onto his lap.
It feels like it’s been months since you’ve last been with him, or maybe that’s just how exhausting today was.
Joel sighs content and pleased once you fully rest against him. Hesitantly you ask if it’s okay if you can talk about him, about his work.
“Ask away honey. I’ll tell ya everything n’ anything.” He says firm.
You grin and your thumb starts stroking the back of his hand.
“So what made you decide to reveal yourself now? I heard there was an issue about someone saying they were you?” You ask, thinking of the discussions earlier with your best friend.
“Yeah..” Joel now sighs tired with an ancient weariness that settles over his handsome face.
“Sarah was the one who saw it first on Twitter or wherever it was.” He adds with a grumble.
Your heart aches knowing one of the girls saw it first.
“Didn’t help either that I ain’t online. So it became a whole fuckin’ mess we had to deal with it a couple months back.”
A light bulb goes off inside your brain.
“Was that when you said you had to visit a family friend out of town?” You connect the dots.
“Yup.” Joel nods. “Went to visit Frank, my agent, to try and figure this shit out. Could’ve let it all maybe die down but… ya know.” He huffs and you understand completely.
Joel is too stubborn, a bit too prideful. You almost snort amused just over the thought of him trying to let the situation blow over.
“Frank wants to meet ya by the way.” Now his voice dips with a bashful tone while his hands begin softly stroking your thighs.
“I’d love to meet him too.” You truthfully tell Joel.
“So, are you going to be online now? Should I start making secret accounts to follow you?” You now tease and Joel barks a beautiful amused laugh.
“Baby, I’m over 50. The only apps I need on my phone are candy crush and ESPN. Ain’t got the time or patience for social medias.”
Now you’re the one laughing.
It feels freeing, blissful, like this is the first moment you’re spending time with him all over again. Yet, there’s a deeper sacred connection that settles.
You can’t help but kiss him again and Joel eagerly welcomes you on his lips.
Now his lips move fervently, almost possessively, against yours, licking and trying to consume you. A small moan squeaks out of you.
“Come on baby,” he mutters, shifting you against his lap so that you fully feel his hardness straining against his pants. “Wanna taste ya.”
You’re thankful you manage to drag him back inside because you can’t imagine getting intimate with Joel on the balcony. Well, at least not yet. But that was a thought for another day.
Now in the afterglow’s soft relaxing peace you wish for more time with him.
But Joel must sense that ache too.
“S’late honey. Come back home with me. Even if it’s just for the night.” He mutters against your lips and you can’t deny him. You don’t want to deny him or the aching tug pulling you to him.
That night you fully embrace every inch of the man Joel Miller is and let a dizzying adoration for him swallow you whole.
The next morning, in the soft early still dark shade of his room, Joel wakes you with a tender kiss to your forehead.
“Gotta go meet with Frank for the day. I’ll see ya later, honey.” He mutters against your cozy heated skin.
You hum a soft agreement and sleepily wish him a goodbye before falling back to sleep. After that, you wake up later to a colder and empty bed.
Tugging on another one of Joel’s shirts you head downstairs already missing his presence.
And when you get downstairs, there on the table sits the most gorgeous floral arrangement. Its beautiful vibrant blooms make your heart flutter so fast against its cage.
A folded paper sits beside the flowers. Your name is written on the front in Joel’s slightly chicken scratch like handwriting.
You scramble fast to grab it.
A letter, he’s written you a letter.
“Honey,
I know I’ve already apologized and you’ve forgiven my old undeserving ass.”
You snort at that line but continue on.
“But I just wanted to fully apologize to you again. Might take me a while until I stop, but just be patient with my old bones yeah?”
You would. Your heart would and will always wait for him.
“Doesn’t seem like it but, I aint that good at talking about things, about my feelings. Shocker right?”
You smirk. You know he isn’t good with words - that’s why it almost feels ironic and a bit unreal that he’s an author.
You’ve discovered Joel shows his affection through his actions.
He spent an entire day rearranging a business scheduling conflict just so that Tommy didn’t have to worry about it. Joel never missed a single one of Ellie’s basketball games. Sarah only prefers a certain type of orange juice and Joel never fails to only get that one.
The first few weeks you started dating Joel you got sick with a nasty cold. He dropped off a whole bag of various items like tissues and cough drops. It was then you knew his heart shines through his actions.
He sometimes surprises you with an order from your favorite take out spot. He never lets you touch a door, always opening them for you instead. He’s the most generous lover and never fails to remind you of how tender, how consuming, his passion can be.
Joel does grumble, sometimes even seems grouchy, but he loves fiercely.
And now here he is showing you this side of him, this form of himself as a writer.
So you return to reading his letter.
“I got into writing because it helped me process all my emotions, my thoughts, the good and bad days - everything. And sharing my writing with others, especially with someone as important as you, still makes me feel so vulnerable. Funny how that worked out though huh? Guess fate wanted to drag my ass and make me face my fears and vulnerability and whatnot.”
Someone as important as you - The line makes your heart flutter.
“I know I told you the reasons why I didn’t tell you. But another reason was because I was afraid.
I was afraid of how much you mean to me. Telling you about this part of me would be taking a bigger step. And it scared me shitless. Cause darlin’ I haven’t felt this way in a very long time. Like, as Ellie loves to say, in such a long time that ‘dinosaurs weren’t even fossils.’
That makes you laugh a bit watery but you let his words carry you again.
“You make my damn heart race when you smile. I get so worked up just seeing you walk around my house as if you were always meant to be here. And I didn't want to lose that either. I still don’t.
You feel like a bright future, like waking up after a cloudy week and the sun greets you so nicely. And I just wanna stay in that warmth, your warmth.
Yeah sorry, that line might be too romance novel writer for my league…but like I said I’m thinking about it. And it’s because of you.
We said no more secrets yeah?
So I’m not lying when I say you’ve become so god damn important to me. And I wanna see more days with you, as many as you’ll have with me.
Fuck. This damn letter already feels too long and I hate my old ass for rambling and maybe not making sense. But I adore you honey. Plain in simple.
And I’m just gonna leave it at that.
Don’t miss me too much and I’ll see you soon.
P.S I picked that bookstore as the tour’s first stop here because it’s where I met you… and I’ll always be grateful for that
-Joel”
You now fight back an absolute ocean’s worth of adoration for this man.
Tears clog your throat and you try not letting them flood your vision, but it’s so hard. So hard when you’re this head over heels.
You don’t want to say it yet, and you don’t know if he’s even ready to say it, but the emotion filling you like a newborn star feels like love.
You barely manage to send out a text thanking him and hoping you’ll get to talk to him soon.
Joel, ever the endearing man he is, replies back with a simple heart emoji and you laugh.
You really might love this man.
And you hope, you so brightly hope, that he maybe loves you too.
You think of his book series, of how he became a writer simply wanting to tell his daughters stories. Those stories grew out of his love for them and now he gets to crystallize that among his pages.
You realize how writing truly is its own form of love.
After all, what better way for a writer to show their love, their heart, than to capture you in their words?
You think that’s where writers must live now, in the heart. Or maybe - your maybe gruff handsome one just does. And you happily welcome Joel’s place in yours and hope he resides there forever like a love poem etched into your very soul.
#hello hi if you read this know me and author Joel are writing you a love letter#Joel miller x reader#joel miller x f!reader#author!joel miller#Joel miller fic#Joel 🤎
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Sometime when my older siblings were little, my dad discovered that they found stories about his childhood more entertaining if he told them as "One time my friend Frederick..." instead of "One time when I was a kid...", and thus Frederick Stories were born.
I loved hearing Frederick Stories growing up, and so did all of my siblings. At some point, Dad decided to write (some of) them down, and a year or two ago I asked him for the file.
And now, currently in the mail to arrive late for Christmas, is a hand-bound copy of his book.
Two copies, actually, because I'm also sending one to his parents. He mentioned in the introduction that when he had first written these stories down, he had given them a copy for Christmas, and I thought they would like to have another, probably more nicely bound, one.
There's a third copy for me, but it took me long enough to finish these two before Christmas, and my copy isn't finished yet. Mostly, but not quite.
It is bound in a nice brown cloth I have, and titled with gold paint, because I thought it would lend it a sort of Old Book vibe that I thought would go well with the title.
Hence also the gothic font for the title.
I also did a few experiments with ways of turning cloth into bookcloth, which is why the two books are a bit different in color. The one on the right in the above picture is the original cloth color.
The edges are gilded with the same gold paint as the title is done in, which also helps with the Old Fancy Book vibe I wanted.
Almost all of the stories opened with "One day, Frederick..." or "One time, Frederick...", and I picked a nice ornamental font for the dropcaps there.
#little cat press#bookbinding#size: half letter#bound by me#a gift#author: my dad#gifted to my dad#gifted to my grandma#gifted to my grandpa
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Sweet reward for obeying commands
#THIS PIECE WAS SPONSORED BY THE HOURS OF RESEARCH I DID ON HUMAN HORMONE AND THEIR EFFECTS AND THE 0 REFERENCES I USED FOR THE SERVER TOWERS#ghosts art#SAYER#SAYER podcast#SAYER ai#jacob hale#sayerhale#well kids. lets analyze this piece. what did the author (me) mean by this?#anyways uh this is. something ive drawn. and made. and posted.#if you are thinking to yourself ''this looks intimate'' then yes. you are right.#i also feel like i owe a hand written apology letter to everyone who works in IT. i am NOT a technology nerd. but i AM a human antomy nerd.#anyways!!! role swap!!!!! its now Hale prodding around SAYER's ''brain'' instead of the opposite :)#the filename for this is SAYER_sayerhale objectum nonsense . just a fun silly fact for everyone#because i am aroace towards humans. but i am also very much objectum#i dont know if ill have the balls to post this in the official server . but enjoy#objectum#<- dont worry about it#ALSO PLEASEEEEEE ZOOM IN ON THE DETAILS. IM BEGGING YOU.#MY ASS DID NOT SPEND HOURS DOING ALL THAT RESEARCH FOR NOTHING!!!!#''what exactly are hale's biometric readings telling us about'' decide that for yourself . up for interpretation.
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so I got bored...
#this is so stupid but i hope you laugh#memes#jake kiszka#gvf#greta van fleet#letters from the author
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"Excuse me if I say nothing but nonsense, for my mind is exhausted, and dispirited."
Charlotte Brontë - Selected Letters
3. To Ellen Nussey, ? October 1836
The Letters 1832-9
#dark academia#light academia#classical#academia aesthetic#escapism#academia#books and libraries#classic literature#books#architecture#author#classics#classic author#charlotte brontë#brontë#selected letters#letters#quote#literature#royal core#cottage core#aesthetic#academic#aesthetics#academics#relatable#mood#vibe#tumblr#1800s
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Hi everyone!
I'm asking for a (free) favor from y'all.
I'm trying to get more people to sign up for my free monthly author newsletter, and I'd love for you to help me find people who might enjoy it.
Every month, I write an essay about a subject. I'm not just collecting contacts to send ads to!
Sometimes it's about writing process
A Unique Character Development Technique
The Golden Girls, D&D, and The Newest Way I’m Refusing to Make Writing Solitary
The Bananabook Method
Lies I Tell Myself, Security Blankets and Backstitch Drafting
On Listening When You Want to Throw Things and Break Stuff
And other times it's a deep dive into a research topic for my books
Why I’m Researching a 19th Century Cult This Month
Spider Goat is Real but is Not Marvel Affiliated
People Just Really Want to Say "Enhance"
That Most Intimate of Thrones
Whose Side is Your House On?
The Care and Feeding of Dream Homes
What Arguing About Captain America Taught Me About Psychotherapy
Nuclear Waste and the Ray Cat Solution
Sometimes it's about mental health, especially through the lenses of fantasy and scifi
Of Flesh and Gundams
What Feeling Are You Most Afraid Of?
Sometimes it's even about legal systems and their interactions with the medical field and expanding medical technologies
Tractors, Cybernetics and the Radical at the Radioshack
Because Everybody Was Calling for YA Scifi About HIPAA, Right?
Or queer stuff
What Do We Celebrate?
What Stories Are You Made Of?
Or disability
Another Kind of Coziness
Tinkering With Cyberpunk
Things I Stole from Julian Bashir
What Does Time Feel Like?
Or it could be anything else that I'm willing to think deeper about that month. You can browse the full archive over here.
AND it almost always includes pictures of my very cute cats!
So could you please boost, if you feel your followers might be into that?
The subscription signup is right here.
Help an indie author out?
#psychology#indie authors#writing process#on writing#writing advice#cyberpunk#disability#queerness#queer author#indie author#authors of tumblr#shed letters
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—Lang Leav, "Soul Mates"
#poem#poetry#soulmate#love#romance#friendship#author#poet#lang leav#soul mates#soul#reflective#letter
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Inspired by "complete" by norethor
Fic Art Friday - event tag - event description
#currently rereading all my old dnf bookmarks and feeling very nostalgic about the meetup since I joined just a little bit before that#fic art friday#bluishfrog art#dnf fanart#dream fanart#georgenotfound fanart#note: I don't think this author is on tumblr / still in this fandom but if you see this I just wanted to let you know#that this is one of the earliest fics I have bookmarked#and those early 'getting to know dnf through the eyes of so many talented writers' will forever mean so so much to me#I wouldn't be here without all of you#my FAF tags are just love letters from me to all fanfic writers aren't they
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A message from an AO3 author to fanfiction readers:
If you leave a comment on my work, then I love you.
If you go through my account leaving comments on all my works and every chapter that I update, then I love you.
You will never be annoying. You will never be the exception. I will never not love someone appreciating my work.
If you leave kudos, then I love you.
If you just read my fic, and don't interact, then I love you.
If you scroll past my works and never read them, then I STILL love you.
We are a community, we love each other.
Let's stop forgetting that.
#And if you bookmark something I write#then I love love love adore you#And please don't be worried about a silly note you add to your bookmark#I will laugh#I will not go “oh damn this person is crazy ewww”#or whatever else reaction you may worry about#there is no wrong way to appreciate art and creation#there is no wrong way to love#from the bottom of my heart and to quell your reader fears (because we all have them):#Thank you and I love you#ao3#fanfic#fanfiction#open letter#fandom#author#writing
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The Sleeping Soldier
(Alucard inspired one shot — Alucard x reader)
❤️ Adrian reads you a love letter ❤️
Hello love,
In the decrepit chasm of despair, often I found myself wholly unable to see the light. Any prospect of joy — laughter, has evaded me. To the darkness I had pledged my soul subservient.
It had been days or months…perhaps a century? I’m not sure. Although you must pardon me, my…grief…has rendered my memory quite unreliable.
Yet somehow, somehow, amid my sombre solitude, you — a divine dream, as if descended from the heavens itself, showed up at my door. You had offered me daffodils when I was a lone willow in a wuthering storm. “I’ll tend to your dying garden. I’ll mend the castle. I’ll tame the anarchy in your heart”, you had uttered, words soft as a soothing kiss.
And it was in that promise that I alas, witnessed the brilliance of stars that hung in the beauty of night. Immortality is now an incandescent, glowing ray of hope — burning bridges of my past burdens that were tethered to me like a rope. You are the lifeblood of light to my destitute of doom.
You…have I said too much? You really must forgive my incessant rambling. I…it was a long time ago since I’d felt this happy. Just one more. I promise. You are the sun in which my world rotates — the very essence of light to my withered being. My beloved, I had not known true love till now. I love you.
#ilovehimsomuch
More Alucard stories -> Dark Signs
#author#fiction#original writing#writing#writing commissions#writers on tumblr#gothic#love#alucard#alucard x reader#alucard x you#alucard castlevania#adrian tepes#adrian tepes x reader#adrian tepes x you#love confessions#love letters#love quotes#story#tumblr writing community#writerscommunity#spilled ink#one shot#vampire aesthetic#castlevania#dhampir#imagines#x reader#fluff
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