#at this point it's just a paranoia thing
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Harker Horrors
The Vampyres
Something is culling the dead.
Whether they imbibe blood, leech life, or merely traded mortality away to their devil of choice, the revenants of the world are disappearing. A phenomenon that has been carving its way through the undead like a belated necrosis moving steadily through the past century and more. One which the Vampyre, a possessor of many names and collector of many lives, has been fretting over for some time.
A laughable fear, for he is one of those canny cadaverous few who made a deal for perpetual resurrection. The bitten may crumble, but the bargainer may rise from death after death. So he reminds himself. So he worries is no longer the case.
Not when the old boyar in the Carpathians was one of the first to vanish. Still, the monster from the mountains may simply be in hiding, just as the rest must be. The Vampyre himself is surely jumping at shadows. So he convinces himself for a single night…
…before a Thing known only as ‘Quinn Morse’ makes itself and its work known.
Surprise! I accidentally finished a novella during what was supposed to be a short story break. Whoops. Updates to come.
Link to Tumblr post (and Google Doc link within) is here.
If you’d like to drop some change in my virtual tip jar, my Ko-fi is here.
Assorted other Horrors are below the cut to save you from an overlong post:
Barking Harker
The climax in Transylvania takes a perilous turn. The surreal shifts in Jonathan Harker’s person are revealed as only the beginning of a far stranger metamorphosis. The promise of Mina Harker’s life becomes the crux of an unthinkable bargain. The dead travel fast, but are far from the only roaming children of the night—and far from the only threat. The past is exhumed, the present brims with monsters new and old, and the future yawns open like the swinging lid of a coffin as plans further, deeper, and far more nightmarish than Dracula’s English holiday come to light…
Link to teaser section here.
Penclosa
It’s been almost a year since Jonathan Harker made that fateful first trip to Transylvania. The monster that imprisoned him, that threatened his love, that died in a box of earth by two blades, has been gone for months. Yet Jonathan’s nightmares have never left. In fact, as the bleak anniversary nears, they have worsened. Van Helsing’s mesmerism has made no progress in freeing him from the nightly horror. But he has come from Amsterdam for a potentially fruitful visit to another professor. Prof. Wilson is playing host to a mesmerist of singular and uncanny power, Miss Helen Penclosa. On meeting the troubled young man and his wife, she is only too happy to help…
Link to teaser section here.
#time to dust off the Scribbles blog and load it up with all the new original stuff on this one#at this point it's just a paranoia thing#but better safe than sorry if this account ever magically vanishes again :c#barking harker#penclosa#jonathan harker#dracula#helen penclosa#the parasite#bram stoker#arthur conan doyle#the vampyre#the vampyres#john william polidori#my art#my writing#harker horrors
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The Brotherhood of Steel don't commit Genocide
Their goal is to protect humanity - not including Ghouls - from Dangerous Technology (Laser weapons, FEV, Replication tech) and try to destroy the fruits of that danger.
But they're not the Enclave. They're not out here trying to make a Human Ethnostate.
As a rule, they've given it a go once or twice but, typically, they're not genocidal. Does the Brotherhood of Steel dislike Ghouls and Super Mutants? Absolutely. Did the West Coast chapter care that the NCR allowed both to be citizens? No, they didn't. Because they weren't a danger to Humanity as individuals.
Why haven't they wiped out Goodneighbor in Fallout 4? Or hell, why doesn't MacCready (who isn't the BOS biggest fan) bring up Underworld or any Brotherhood activity there? No, he doesn't - so its safe to assume that they weren't wiped out.
In Fallout 4, the fight is against Synths the same way it was about Super Mutants in Fallout og - the Synth is just the dangerous byproduct of the Brotherhood's actual target, the Insitute. Just like how the Brotherhood wasn't out to kill all Super Mutants, but the Super Mutants who served the master and threatened Mankind.
From Maxson's perspective (wrong as it may be), he thinks that Synths represent a danger to mankind for two reasons:
They have the ability to near perfectly infiltrate any organization with sleeper cells that can be activated at a moment
Synths might one day decide that they don't need Humans anymore, and instead of trying to run away from the Insitute they'll take over and mass produce
Both of these are nightmare scenarios for the Brotherhood. But the second the Institute is gone, so are both of those points. There will be no more infiltrating (except for DiMa's shenanigans) and the ability to make new Synths has exploded. And, actually, so too did the way to make new Super Mutants so once the current batch is gone there won't be anymore.
Arthur Maxson's work here is done. Now he'll just set up a new local chapter (he has the ego to just unilaterally make one, or he could have made contact with the West Coast and got permission) in Boston. The Brotherhood doesn't want to be the local government, so they'll let the Minutemen do that but they'd mostly just be here to vibe.
Shit, they can't even do anything about the Synths. Not even a deep brain scan will reveal if there is a Synth component, and its impractical to do mass-brain surgery. The Brotherhood pretty much has to wipe their hands and go "we did good gang"
So sorry Thaddeus, no we will not be "killing all the ghouls" because, to be completely honest, there are more important uses of the Brotherhood's time and micro-fusion cells.
#arthur maxson#elder maxson#fallout#fallout 3#fallout 4#fallout tv series#fallout amazon#fallout tv show#brotherhood of steel#bos fallout#fallout brotherhood of steel#i love the brotherhood man#they're competent#they're incompetent#they look sick#they generally do the good thing#I WILL KILL FOR YOU ELDER MAXSON#POINT THE WAY!#no fr tho#he's the most powerful man in the Wasteland he's not going to waste time dealing with randos who aren't doing anything#if synths weren't replacing people but were just domestic servants the brotherhood wouldn't give a shit#hell they might not even give a shit about Nick#they'd always want the Institute gone just cause too much tech but synths??? Thats a result of Commonwealth paranoia#he's playing telephone
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Arlecchino's whole deal is unbelievable
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder what's causing my weird powers? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta become King and then kill my "Mother".
*Kills Clervie and "Mother"*
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I was able to defeat a Fatui Harbinger when I'm like 17 or so? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta be in jail and become a Harbinger.
*Is in jail for a while and becomes a Harbinger*
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I am-
Pierro: Hey what's up hello, anyways you're descended from the Crimson Moon Dynasty of Khaenri'ah. I'm sure that this is a lot for you to take in so-
Arlecchino: Ok.
Pierro: ...You're just cool with that?
Arlecchino: IDK maybe? I can't really worry about that at the moment, I'm a father now. This orphanage full of children I love (who also are child soldiers and are not allowed to leave or else I'll execute them except maybe now I'm just gonna wipe their memories IDK I'm morally complex) isn't gonna run itself.
*Runs the orphanage/spy recruitment initiative*
Me, the fucking player: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE KHAENRI'AN? WHY WASN'T THIS BROUGHT UP IN YOUR FUCKING QUEST?? OR ANYTHING ELSE????
Arlecchino, talking to me through my phone: I honestly don't know why you care, I'm too busy to give a shit. Anyways, I'm gonna go fight fate itself I guess. I'm sure that I don't share any thematic parallels with any other Khaenri'an characters (particularly as it relates to acting and family angst) and that I haven't made the idea of 'curses' on Khaenri'ans and what they entail even more complicated than they already were. See ya.
#arlecchino#genshin impact#pierro#WHY IS THE GAME FUCKING GLOSSING OVER THE FACT THAT SHE IS KHAENRI'AN?!#Not only that but she is the first Khaenri'an we've met (that we know of) who's from the Crimson Moon Dynasty#I'm so fucking confused#Did Celestia place a DIFFERENT curse on members of the Crimson Moon Dynasty?? Or is this stuff all of them can do???#HELP#She also seems almost...uninterested in the fact that she's descended from Khaenri'ah. Which honestly I think is interesting.#I don't know if I like it yet but when every other Khaenri'ah character has one of their major traits being that they super fucking#care that they are Khaenri'an (whether that be Kaeya with his paranoia/destiny/duty or Dain with his guilt over his failure/desire to#prevent our sibling from fucking with anything too much or whatever the fuck is going on with Pierro)#having a character who is Khaenri'an but doesn't seem to particularly be invested in that part of themself is different#she cares more about the curse and its effects on her then she ever really cares about the Crimson Moon Dynasty or the cataclysm#IDK I think it's neat from a character writing angle. or at least it has the potential to be if the writers do a good job.#But from a 'I like maybe 3 things in this game and one of them is Khaenri'ah' perspective it SUCKSSSSS#That part of the plot is already suffering from chronic live-service storytelling disease where people just straight up don't tell you#shit that they logically SHOULD BE TELLING YOU because the game needs to save plot points to build hype around#so for one of like 4-ish (depending on how much we count Albedo) Khaenri'an major characters to give us literally 1 and 1/2 voicelines#kinda sucks ngl. but again it's also interesting and realistic for Arlecchino and from that angle I like it#she doesn't care about what fate says her place in the world is. she's gonna carve her own and being Khaenri'an isn't relevant to#the life and identity she has built for herself. she isn't the type to look for answers she doesn't need. she's practical and efficient.#at the very least it's better than when Albedo 'I want to find all the world's truths' Kreideprinz doesn't let the audience in on his stuff
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hiiiiiii friendly reminder to not go knocking on strangers doors and running away :)) or just doing that at all :) some of us have sheer paranoia that can render us stressed for time long after the action is done :) because you don’t experience consequences doesn’t mean you’re free to go around doing this like a fucking asshole. :). I know most people who’d listen to this don’t go around doing it but I hope that at least one person reconsiders doing this just to look cool in front of their friends. You don’t seem awesome, you just make it clear your an uncaring asshole and nobody will come to you. I hope karma does its thing. :)
#No because my fucking heart sank when some dumb ass kid just approached my home then harshly knocked#They ran away. Of course they did. I’d fucking deal with them should they have not. What cowards.#But fuck. I don’t like when my hands shake to the point of not even being able to properly hold a phone.#I still am thinking about it today#even tho it happened a day ago#paranoia isn’t a fucking fun thing#psychosis#schizoaffective#actually psychotic#schizo spectrum#actually schizospec#schizophrenia#ehhhhh just for the tags I’m unsure if I have schizo but like yk#paranoia#bipolar disorder#venting#mental illness#high school#college#student#dumbasses#schizoposting#reminder
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I've been thinking about how white london probably has different kinds of physical affection to red and grey, I can't imagine hugging being common among people who are casual friends like it is in a lot of places here (I'm talking from the pov of someone from an area not too far away from real london so i get that this isnt the case everywhere lol) hugging requires a certain trust that the person you are hugging is doing anything nefarious with their hands - like stabbing you in the back for instance... so i like to think that in white london where trust is about as thin on the ground as magic, hugging is a massive declaration of trust in which you may as well tell the other you love them.
on an additional note it makes me wonder about what affections would be commonplace, would a kiss on the cheek be a more common greeting to someone you care for? would people give a short bow as a greeting towards an acquaintance? (both things very common in many places in this world too so not exactly strange?) or are people simply all-or-nothing with their affections, giving all their affection to one or two people who have their absolute trust and not showing any at all otherwise?
when it comes to greeting a stranger i was taught in my martial arts classes to introduce myself with both hands visible and to shake hands with both of my hands as a sign of respect within the culture so i wonder if that kind of action would be common in makt - dont hide your hands when trying to gain someones trust or they will think you are hiding something...
#part if this is because i wanted holland to receive a hug and then i wondered how he and then his world would respond to such a thing#ended with the hilarious mental image of kell giving him a hug and him being like “damn okay never knew you felt that way”#but that is very much beside the point#ive been spinning this in my head for ages and ive wanted to put it down somewhere#i love white london and know they are just normal people albeit very desperate to survive#and i can imagine a different world having slightly different ideas about affection and how and where to show it#maybe they wouldnt in public in case someone saw and used their loved one against them as people have paranoia drilled in from childhood#perhaps people hooking up in an alleyway would do it holding a knife against their temporary lovers thigh as a precaution or warning#so many thought such terrible ability to write them well if i had the patience for writing id be on ao3 but here we are#and im making memes and ramble posts instead lol#white london#adsom#shades of magic#holland vosijk
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was cleaning my fridge when I randomly thought "a clean home is a happy home" and now I'm thinkin how infuriated Home would be if he gets dirty or to add even more fuel to the already blazing fire, how much of a clean freak Grey Au!Wally would be to keep Home happy
Ohh! A clean home is definitely a happy home! I’m seeing this more like Home being such a clean freak haha!
#it does go along with his insanely accurate observance and perfectionism#not to much like OCD I don’t think but he does seem the time to get irrationally upset when things are not A Certain Way#bc of course ocd isn’t just Cleanliness™️ I have 3 family members with ocd and it presents in interesting ways#BUT my point being that Home just seems the type. for sure tho he’s a huge perfectionist- but I can see some things causing him like#some sort of paranoia#such as the neighbors doing something Out of the Ordinary™️ and causing a downward spiral of events caused by home#ha! who knows#such is not an excuse for his weirdly manipulative behavior of course if I were to apply it to the greyscale au#I’m rambling my bad#ANYWHO Tangent aside I do love the idea of Home being a clean freak! goes with his rather fancy Aesthetic
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if life was perfect there would be a tranquility base hotel + casino film. send post.
#like cmonnnn#just imagine#paranoia and bittersweetness and overwhelming urgency and 10 minute long shots of alex turner just smoking a cigarette in the bar#the choatic 70s decor against all that liminal space#AND THE ARCHITECTURE SHOTS OH MY GOD THE ARCHITECTURE SHOTS WOULD BE SO BEAUTIFUL#and that undercurrent of pure unease going through the whole thing where everything just seems *off* but nothing is uncovered#and the soundtrack would be obvious-#along with that weird beeping thing in the 4 out of 5 mv#an entire scene about the bittersweetness of pictures of friends on the wall that arent really friends anymore#it all just feels like a dream youre about to wake from#all the extra characters would be sickingly charming with an edge of just pure confusion#cant forget the homoerotic undertones#i need to protagonist to get halfblind drunk and stumble about in the dark of a backroom of a bad dream#i NEED mark sauntering about answering the batphone and doing that mad twirly thing with the line cable#i NEEEED miles kane to be in every single fecking scene#i need lola and jeany and lizzie and all the other names in the tracks to have their own wee choatic monologues#i need- to just shut up and open another script document#at this point im just taking notes i might aswell start writing the bloody thing#is my obsession showing yet? i sure hope so.#GO TO BED NOVA FOR CHRIST SAKE#tranquility base hotel and casino#tbhc#tbh+c#arctic monkeys#my post
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RIP Krakoa 🌹 I can’t lie I’ve been kinda behind since midway through Fall of X I’m gonna catch up before my first SDCC this summer but I hear Vulcan didn’t see much action anyway. Anyway my hand slipped and I found myself looking into the eyes of my canonically psychotic son the best Summers brother who’s never done anything wrong in his entire life, (he’s done lotsa wrong things but I love him more for it)
#canonically psychotic = he canonically has psychosis. (not in the ableist way in that hes evil. which he is. lemme enjoy problematic rep)#Gabriel Summers#art by seaweed#words by seaweed#X-Men Red#the Gabriel hate during the Krakoa era pffffft. was 100% from ppl who didnt read the Rise and Fall of the Shi'ar Empire#“he attacked Storm” hes also a genocidal dictator who tortures ppl for catharsis. drunkenly coming at Ororo is the least bad thing he did#“he's a douche” mother of all understatements. now get this man back w his boyfriend who he forced to be his best man under pain of death#Gabriel fans LOVE that Ororo beat his ass. he deserved it. it was a fake discourse made up by a certain segment of goddess!Ororo fans#I say as an Ororo fan! Shes my fav A-list x-man🥰 yes Gabe was at a mental low but Ororo didnt know that. that was Scott's responsibility.#psychotic Emperor Vulcan is what we call a problematic mentally ill villain trope. I love him SO much. (okay lets talk)#we don’t know much about his childhood but we do know he spent 2 years in a fugue state after escaping slavers when he was like ten ):#as an “adult”-ish he's uh “mentally” 15 or sumn according to the calculations claimed to him by his hallucination of his actual child self#and apart from THOSE hallucinations. he’s very paranoid to the point of killing his advisors because he becomes convinced-#that they’re plotting to kill him. they aren't. he relies on Calseye to ground him thru his paranoia. and then of course in the Krakoa era#he believes his energy constructs of Petra and Sway who drink with him till he blacks out every single day are real. he isnt consciously#creating them; but he sees them- and bc he’s a godlike mutant his subconscious makes his hallucinations visible. making everyone uncomfy#Charles tries to use telepathy to FORCIBLY reality check him. which of course triggers his trauma. and GABE is punished for it?#(oh plus our finding out Gabe got brain surgery done on him by some gods outside the universe offpanel. he never does well with tampering)#and now the writers who pushed Hickman out (also RIP Sabretooth & the Exiles. RIP Hellions) want us to be SAD Krakoa is gone?#yes Gabriel is the mentally ill villain trope. but Krakoa never cared for mutants who couldn’t fit in. who were traumatized. disabled. etc#Alex OF ALL PEOPLE should understand that. ALEX should’ve been there for Gabriel. (why wasn't he. did he hold a grudge for past torture.)#Alex also w Murder-Enjoying Disorder but it was actually treated as an illness and those in authority presented as wrong for excluding him#instead of helping him. which v flawed but Hellions was one of the best mental illness comics? like Zeb Wells was conscious of the genre#but Gabriel was just… cast out. for panicking when his prime traumatizer Charles invaded his mind. he deserved help too#and all because his family were annoyed at him for drinking all night and throwing up and passing out on the floor? for being delusional?#And like- all of the summers brothers are nd (Scott's brain damage; Alex's dissociative episodes; Gabriel's psychosis)#I have nothing to say about Adam X ((I highly doubt he's neurotypical and/or mentally healthy)) ((nothing to say abt him tho))#and Gabes paranoia is 100% rooted in his issues of being made to feel like an outsider. like YES the obvious MUTANT identity but also#he thinks his father abandoned him to be a slave. he's not Summers enough for Scott. hes not Shi'ar enough for the Shi'ar
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literally having the worst day ever and i cant ever be happy (has only experienced minor inconveniences today but they keep adding up)
#first of all i didnt get a lot of sleep so im mad tired#second of all the place i usually get lunch on campus said they werent doing bagels at the moment and it ruined me#cuz i was soooo excited to get bagels#third of all i was already cranky so i got all in my feels last night#so i had a dream where my gf who isnt my gf and saw each other on one fo the campuses and she was w her friends#at one point we were both leaving and iw as watcing her and her and her friend knew i was there#so then her friend comes over and shes like '[gf name] loves you so much'#and i was about to cry tears of joy i was like REALLY???#and then her friend started laughing and gestured to my gf who isn't my gf's OTHER friend behind me and she was like 'jk lol she meant#this friend not you el oh el'#and then my gf and her friends were all laughing at me and i burst into tears#and then in full on sobs i was like 'i loved you so much how could you leave me'#and then my gf was just like 'well youre a bad person and you think youre sooooo myseterious and youre a terrible person and i never loved#you' and oh my god it ruined my morning#i know a lot of it was just psychological cuz i was already moody when i went to bed#and i have this werid paranoia where i think her and her friends talk shit about me#which i doubt they do but it still stresses me out#so thats probably why that hapepned#and then on top of all that. fourth of all im getting lunch and i literally see her outside. like i dont see her for days and of course#the day i least want to see her shes right there#i mean im generally doing better than september and i didnt feel the same sinking feeling#i used to in like sept but still like brooooo bro this day could not be worseee#the only good thing that happened was that i passed my physics exam <3#also yeah again i said these are minor inconveniences im just frustrated lol#sunny rambles
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SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR KEVIN PHILLIPS
#tragically had to skip the 'are you afraid of me' exchange i love at the start bc. this scene is Long#super dark times#josh templeton#zach taylor#sam edits#btw i'm firmly in the 'Josh didn't kill John' camp. bc to me THIS scene is the point that... makes the most sense as Josh's breaking point/#'villain turn' if that's what you'd want to call it. because this is really when Josh... sort of 'officially' loses Zach. from early on in#the movie it becomes clear how much Zach is like... an anchor for him—the way Josh is just fucking *chanting* his name in distress during#the Daryl accident. The way Josh begs Zach to believe him that it was an accident. The way Josh turns to Zach for answers/clarity/direction#Like even if we want to take a cynical approach and think of it as Josh just latching onto Zach in the Daryl situation because he was There#rather than that being an established thing w/ them... in the aftermath of that same incident Josh is still looking to/depending on him!#Josh self isolates at first... but after they talk & Zach tells him they shouldn't act weird Josh goes back to school. (yes#he lashes out there because He's Dealing With The Crushing Guilt but *all* of 'em are acting off then—Charlie specifically calls attention#to the idea they all probably are) Josh goes to the party just like Zach said they should and is *visibly confused* when Zach seems mad to#see him there. He goes to Zach's house to talk and you can SEE how caught off guard he is by what Zach says. Even though the script version#of this scene is VERY different from the final version I do think this one bit of description from it is... insightful: 'Josh seems sincere#almost vulnerable. But Zach is too focused to see it.' LIKE in this scene Zach is already convinced Josh has lost it! He's trying to act#more neutral about it (claiming they could just 'draw a line') but we saw his phone call with Charlie. Because of his own guilt-fueled#paranoia—something shown pretty clearly through the assorted dream sequences and like tht scene of him walking in the hall hearing people#gossip about Daryl—it seems like everything lines up too well! that '*of course* it's Josh and what if it's *been* Josh all along and well#then the role *I* played in the situation really isn't *my* fault because it was all *Josh* and...' etc. even if that's more subconscious#But like... this scene is really when it hits Josh! from the moment he asks if Zach's afraid of him now like... there's a shift. although#Zach says he isn't... i mean he fucking stumbles on the word 'afraid' (like... he hangs on the 'f' sound a moment too long to sound natural#its very subtle but like Noticeable). But Josh sees right through him. Zach doesn't trust him anymore. Zach thinks he's the bad guy. the#monster. Josh feeling like he lost the last person he had in his corner feels like the most realistic thing to... push him over the#edge. like that's a compelling tragedy to me—the idea that these two poorly coping with the Daryl situation in these separated ways where#they *aren't* talking/communicating ends up CREATING the feedback loop that makes everything get worse and worse.#But for that to be the case... it wouldn't make sense for Josh to have just randomly killed John before this scene. I think it's a more#interesting story if certain things really ARE just coincidences but it's that Zach's paranoia won't let him see that 🤷
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unfortunately for everyone involved im hitting the exact right combination of summer melancholy + extreme mental illness spiral + late july/august + insomnia that makes me rewatch shadowhunters. sorry in advance
#it was the only thing that got me thru 2017 i always associate it with the second half of summer specifically..#i started watching it in march but s2b was coming out in july/august so that's why those stuck#im doing so badly. lol#i think everything just kinda came together coupled not leaving my room for anything other than my daily walk for#1.5 months and counting but oh my god. hello#im spiraling into shit i havent had to deal with in like years can i LEAVE. I THOUGHT WE WERE OVER THIS#it's not paranoia if im literally right 🙏 this is fine. it's fine <3#it's literally FINE if i repress everything far enough it wont bother me. im sure using that as#a coping mechanism for my entire life hasn't lead to an insane backlog of horrible shit that im gonna have to deal with at some point.#at least my brain helpfully doesn't let me remember 90% of my life so ion have to worry about all that. yay♥#guys it's direeeee tv show save me. i cant even work or go riding coz the weather is so hot i constantly feel ill#MAN whatever it's fine. at least i dont have scurvy i guess#barking
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show tempe gang crossover with the morris islanders would actually have been the best episode of bones ever. btw
#please ignore the rest of the tags i will just be making things up#okay they start out in carolina but at least half the episode takes place in dc. do not ask me how travel logistics would work#tory spends the entire episode off with tempe doing bone stuff. booth feels upstaged by a 16-year-old girl#so he goes and hangs out with ben who does NOT trust him right off the bat#ben ends up having to run him over to liri at some point because there's crime afoot and tom is busy. they spend most of the ride in silenc#ofc they end up bonding Eventually because they are both obsessed with crazy emotionally stunted redheads named t brennan#tory is more effective than any of the squinterns and manages to piss hodgins off so bad just by existing#coop hangs out in the lab as saroyan tries to kick him out thirty times. he just keeps showing up and she can't prove who's letting him in#(it's tempe.) angela loves tory but tory does not love angela back. saroyan tolerates her. sweets likes her but knows she's hiding somethin#comes to the conclusion that she can read her friends minds and slowly drives himself crazy because obviously that can't be true#tory brings hi along whenever she needs someone with people skills and he is MORE than happy to participate in a hodgins experiment#hi gets to be king of the lab for about ten minutes. shelton hits it off with angela immediately and they solve half the case together#booth fucking HATES hi because he's evasive and really good at the manipulation thing. booth can't win verbal sparring and he gets Big Mad#at one point the four of them are in an interrogation room together (MISTAKE) because tory had them meddling a little too close to the sun#and booth is trying so hard to question them which didn't work even when they COULDN'T read each other's minds#tory figures out who did it and hi steals her thunder a la shrek wasnt vandalized he gave birth#temperance tells tory 'i know you've got a secret sweets told me and even though i don't trust psychology i find he's insightful' etc etc#tory's like well i might be but i can't tell you it's not just my secret and you wouldn't believe me anyway#because let's be real tempe WOULDNT believe her#meanwhile saroyan convinced by sweets paranoia managed to get a sample of tory's blood and test it and is like HEY WHAT THE FUCK#gets hodgins and they just stare at the results together and delve into conspiracy theories. he's like i KNEW there were werewolves#they debate telling tempe but know it wouldnt end well for the kids and decide to get rid of the evidence. but hodgins is SO smug#also angela spends the whole episode trying to convince everyone hi and shelton are dating and no one believes her#they finally see them kiss or something and they're all somehow floored and angela's just like yeah? duh?#if anyone read this i'm sorry and why
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Speaking as a personal autonomy enjoyer I hate the way the fanon conception of “lazerus pit rage” not only treats Jason’s actions as not his own but also his feelings as not his own. To me personally even if there was no evil green Jacuzzi and no Talia, the question of “why is that clown not a funny ass corpse” would still come up and there’d still be some hard feelings about Tim. Just probably with less killing and maiming
#The conflict between Jason and Bruce cannot be resolved in a 5k hurt/comfort fic at any point. Also his ass is NOT Bucky Barnes#’free my mans! he absolutely did all that shit of his own free will tho don’t be mistaken 🙈’#Jason Todd#dc#Also people usually write lazerus pit effects as like a demon that whispers to you but i hc it as more of a roid rage sorta thing#like it enhances feelings at anger and paranoia and surpresses whatever part of your brain is charge of empathy which can lead to#destructive thinking patterns but it can’t put any ideas in your head. Just makes you more susceptible to your worst instincts#Canon cannot make its mind up about lazerus pit affects so I just hc that they wore off some time during the lost days era
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this is just a quick comment I wanna make, but forever didn't suddenly woke up one day and decided he wanted to dig a hole around his base- the hole around the base had been planned for a while, it's in the concept art richas made of the base and when he showed his base to philza he mentioned he would dig out around the base. so what I'm saying is that when you talk about this action of his you shouldn't bring up the hole itself that much, but much rather the timing and how he acted about digging the hole!
#qsmp#qsmp forever#like him digging the hole is not really the main point#becaude he was going to dig that out. eventually#the thing is why he decided to do it NOW#which is related to paranoia towards new members#just a quick comment because the hole was always part of his idea on his own base#so he just didn't like. woke up one day and thought i need to isolate myself so im gonna DIG OUT AROUND THE BASE UNTIL I REACH BEDROCK#it was planned#the thing that should be the main topic is why he's doing the hole now#idk if im making much sense im sorry#the most i can compare if its like#you plan on putting a door lock on your closet#but its not really a priority#youre going to do it eventually but not a priority#but then all of a sudden it becomes your main priority at the moment
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I've been having like low level paranoia since yesterday evening, and now I just can't shake the feeling that something drastically awful has happened.
#you know when you're like waiting for the other shoe to drop?#I feel like any second now I'm going to find out about something awful#I've been paranoid all day and had a mini freak out yesterday but nothing that intense since#now I can't shake this feeling that something beyond me is very wrong#I hate this#I'm highkey worried about not getting sleep tonight#lack of sleep always makes my mental health and paranoia worse (which like yeah no duh)#sorry for this rambling. not sure there's a point here. just a little concerned I'm heading for a spiral#I think it can be helpful to document things as they happen so I have a written record to refer back to#sometimes it's difficult to pinpoint when certain emotions creep in#ashley rambles
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fragment of a partially written “what if Evan went through with the magic-exorcism and had his memory of Gowpenny erased?” fic -- specifically a scene in which Jammer/K/Sam track him down to some middle-of-nowhere rest stop in order to meet him again
#N posts stories#thought it would be fun to experiment with the idea that his passengers are like#Way beyond the scope of human-magic and so they retained their memories intact#and Evan is just so used to shrugging off everything they say to him that he just refuses to engage#but there’s also a lot to Wonder about re: would Evan retain memory of having performed Accidental magic throughout his childhood?#would be interesting to play around with things there of like. How Much would they have to Take from him#to reach whatever level of ignorance they deem acceptable? nauseating.#truly tho the Exact Inverse of this fic is also something i’ve been entertaining writing meaning like#canon timeline where Evan fully thinks through the implications of ‘these people Could at any point take away my magic and erase my memory#of Whatever they want to just Whenever they decide to want to’ like Philtrum doesn’t Force Evan through anything but she does get like#Incredibly manipulative and coercive and Evan did not Actually give Informed Consent when he elected into the procedure in the first place#(it was never explained that the Whole pilot program would be kicked out — informed consent requires All relevant info given up front)#and either way ‘will they do it to me’ does not matter nearly as much as ‘are they Capable of doing this to me?’#combined with the fact that ep one Does establish to Evan that casting magic on children as punishment is considered Completely acceptable#there’s SO much to unpack about the kind of paranoia that would undoubtedly instill in Anyone but especially in someone like Evan
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