#at this point he's like that one post that's like 'tired of being the bigger person. if you piss me off i'll bite you like a rat'

[earthtooz]

x : ABUNDANCE :*+ﾟ

in which: rin doesn’t know when to stop spoiling you and you don't know how to stop him either.

warnings: rich pro-athlete!rin, gn!reader- reader wears lip gloss and perfume but i am an avid believer that they are gn, rin is dramatic (tm), fluff, swearing. 1.6k wc

a/n: rin is a clown in my eyes LMFAO no but this was kinda self-indulgent and i just can't stray too far from itoshi rin before he inevitably pulls me back. haven't written anything for him in a while so it feels good to be back to my roots. also no i'm not off break lol i did say that i was still gonna write and come back to post hehe. ENJOY!! rbs appreciated !!

itoshi rin doesn’t know when to stop spoiling you.

and you didn’t know how to get him to stop spoiling you. you could never resist his presents no matter what shape or size, whether they were little nendoroids of your favourite anime characters to the latest designer bags, you would always accept them with a grateful smile. 

however, there’s always a tug of guilt at your chest that makes you little hesitant, not wanting rin to waste unnecessary money on you. yet whenever you make this feeling known to rin, he scoffs and waves your concerns off, ending the conversation there as he urges you to open his presents, more concerned about your reaction than how much money is being extracted from his account.

what’s the point of money if he can’t spoil you with it? that’s always been his philosophy. besides, it’s not like you’re forcing him to, so what’s the big deal?

if there was a certain brand of perfume you wanted, he was going to buy it. if you needed a bigger monitor then he’ll buy it. if you needed a streaming platform to watch a certain show on then he’d buy it too, not a problem. in fact, you’re sure rin is funding the spotify premium for your account because he got tired of all the ads he had to listen to when sharing headphones with you. 

despite rin’s insistence that he was more than okay to spend money on you, it didn’t stop the growing feeling of guilt festering in your gut. so eventually you stopped bringing up things you wanted to buy in front of rin, leaving to write them down in your notes app instead.

the pro-athlete doesn’t question the abrupt lack of complaints about things you needed to buy, leaving him blissfully unaware of the things you had been buying for yourself and him. 

this dance continues for a little and it’s not until date night three weeks later that he figures you out. you never stood a chance against rin’s perceptiveness especially when one of his favourite things to do was watch you get ready for said date nights, leaving it only a matter of time before he’d realise,

“looking gorgeous as always,��� he compliments whilst walking up to stand behind you, dressed handsomely in a crisp suit with his hair swept sideways- a hairstyle he began to wore more often when he realised how often you stared at him during a boring sponsorship event which turned out a lot more eventful thanks to the simple hair change.

you smile at him in the mirror as rin places a kiss on the side of your head, hand going to your hip before situating himself on the bed, glancing down at his watch to check that you were still on time for the dinner reservation.

when he looks back up at you, his eyes zero in on the foreign lipgloss you were holding in your hands and the small smile rin wore falls into a scowl. rin knows he didn’t get that for you, and judging from the sleekness of the packaging, it looks new. he withholds his suspicions, brushing them off.

alarms blare in rin’s head again when he notices the foreign highlighter in your hands. contrarily, you remain ignorant to rin’s inquisitive stare as you lean in close to the mirror to apply the product, too used to the usual intensity of his gaze to bat an eye. 

the last straw is the perfume you use, spritzing it on your wrists, behind your ears and neck, doing a little fanning motion with your hands once you were done.

“okay, i’m ready, let’s go before we’re lat-” you say, turning around to look at rin, cutting yourself off when you notice the look of distraught on his face. “what’s the matter?”

walking over to where he sat, you leisurely lay your forearms on his shoulders, pressing a kiss to his cheek whilst doing so. the smell of your foreign perfume enters his nose and although it was a very nice and charming scent, the athlete’s nose scrunches in displeasure, eyebrows furrowing further. 

“do i have something on my face?” you ask, backing away. rin grabs your hands before you can stray too far. 

“no, not that,” he puts your hands on his shoulders again. “did you always have this lipgloss? and i don’t recognise this perfume.”

“oh, i bought it not too long ago.” 

he looks at you as though you’ve committed the most blasphemous offence against him, which, you did. “excuse me?”

“i bought it?” you reaffirm, a lilt of confusion in your tone. 

rin narrows his eyes, combating your confusion with scrutiny. “you bought it.” you nod. “with your own money?”

“duh.”

he exhales loudly through his nose and you can feel the judgement oozing off him. “no that’s not right. i have to fix this.”

abruptly swapping your positions so that you were now sitting on the bed, rin disappears into the bathroom, emerging with a pack of makeup removers before sifting through your numerous products, that look of concentration never leaving his face.

“we’re gonna be late, rin,” you say from where he planted you, watching helplessly as your boyfriend approaches to stand in front of you, crouching down to be eye level with you. rin takes out a wipe from the packet before gently rubbing it on your lips, touch contrastingly gentle to his fiery gaze. 

“don’t care. this is more important.” 

rin fiddles with the highlighter that he bought for you, opening it cautiously and using the same brush you always use as he carefully paints your skin with the glitter. it amazes you just how observant rin is as he traces all the spots correctly, knowing you down to of the most insignificant, tiny details.

he does the same with the lip gloss, opening the familiar bottle before putting a luxurious amount of the product over your lips. you don’t complain about it, not when rin’s nose scrunches in concentration and not when he makes a disgruntled noise because he overlined the lip gloss, wiping it from the corner of your mouth.

nevertheless, when rin pulls away, he admires his handiwork with a content grin, the scowl now fading. “much better,” he mumbles, grinning slightly. before you could say anything though, the athlete stumbles away to put your makeup away, returning with a bottle of perfume that he also bought for you.

“do not spray that on me. the scents will clash,” you threaten. rin blinks at you before grabbing your wrist, spritzing a small amount before repeating the same step on your other pulse points.

his actions were sweet and you understood that rin had good intentions, but through the endearment you felt for your lover, there is an undeniable feeling of dejection settling within you. “i liked the products that i bought,” you murmur, tone slightly downcast as you express your thoughts. “i like using my own money sometimes too, rin.” 

the smile rin wore falls ever so slightly as he looks at your somewhat-dejected form, crouching in front of you instinctively as to get a better glance at your face. 

“i feel horrible whenever you use your money on me. especially on things that are way too expensive and way out of my budget. i don’t want people- i don’t want you to get the wrong idea of us,” you confess the last part breathily, rubbing your arms awkwardly. “and i hate feeling like i owe something to you.”

“hey, you know that will never happen, we’re not like that,” he rubs a hand on your knee reassuringly. “i buy things for you because i know, and don’t talk about this lukewarm shit about ‘owing’ me. if anything i owe you for putting up with me.”

you let his words sink in with a sigh, focusing on the warmth of rin’s palm. 

“and i also buy things for you because you only deserve the best. none of that mediocre crap that anybody can buy.” 

“but what if i like the ‘lukewarm shit’?”

“then you need better tastes, but i guess i have no choice but to buy it for you.” he stands up ever so slightly to kiss you.

you back away, cutting him off with a press of your finger against his lips. “rin. no.” 

he gives you a withering glare for denying his affection. 

“that’s not the point. as much as i love and appreciate it when you do buy things for me, i would also appreciate it if you let me use my own money too.” 

the soccer player backs away, eyes scanning your expression to decide on what to say next. he sighs when he sees the determination in your face and like a dam giving out, it’s the first sign of rin’s stubbornness surrendering to your pleas.  “fine, i’ll respect your choice, but it doesn’t mean that i like it.”

you grin, pulling him back in for the kiss he wanted earlier, catching rin off guard briefly before his shock subsides, letting him melt right into you. your lipgloss was now effectively ruined but you didn’t have it in you to care much. rin could always reapply it for you. 

“but i’m paying for dinner,” he asserts against your mouth. 

“deal.”

you return home tomorrow to see the same products you bought for yourself on your shared bed. except brand new and still in their sleek packages. 

what were you going to do with rin?

[sh1-n0bu]

♡︎ 𝙞 𝙙𝙤 𝙖𝙙𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 ♡︎

anon asked: nobu could you do something with scara and feminization?? thank you!

characters: sub!scaramouche x nb!dom!reader

warnings: edging, overstimulation, praise, dacryphillia, feminization, just scara fucking himself stupid on your cock, as always cock can also mean strap on

notes: i gotchu nonnie, i gotchu😌 also scara is a bit of a yandere here ig??? this came out much more softer than i imagined. as a fellow scara-nation person, SCARA NATION COME GET YALL FOOD🗣

reposting bc tumblr has started a war against someone they can’t beat by deciding to suddenly flag my posts as mature

“aah! aanhg! m-mine. mine mine mine! only mine! n-no one else’s! mine! minemineminemine-gyaah~!”

bouncing on your lap with a cute purple, lace lingerie and stocking on was your sweet boyfriend. eralier today when you had your friend and co-worker drop by your house to drop off some of your work documents, scaramouche saw how awfully close you two seemed. your friend even gave you a hug! so he decide to surprise his loving partner with a gift.

after finishing the documents, you didn’t expect your cute boyfriend to be sitting on the bed with the latest lingerie you bought for him. pink nipples being seen through the bra and his already hard cock poking a bit out of the panties with the stocking hugging his thighs just enough to cause a little pudge, he looked absolutely delicious. throwing himself on you and guiding your bigger hands to roam around his body, scaramouche started grinding himself on your legs.

“aww love what’s this gift for?” kissing the old hickeys and marks on his neck, you gently squeezed his ass. even that little action seemed enough for scaramouche to moan in your ears.

“just-just wanted to make you happy” came in the breathy response of your short lover. he oddly seemed quite desperate today. wearing a cute set, throwing himself on you, selfishly grinding his ass over your thighs. but it’s not like you were against it. if your sweet boyfriend was feeling nice might as well enjoy it.

dragging you to the bed by the collar of your shirt and pushing you down on the bed, he seemed more like himself now. straddling your crotch and grinding himself, scara started mumbling and whining about some stuff about how you’re his and he belongs only to you. how you should only look at him, need no one else but him and something along the lines of it.

and that’s what led to this point. with your sweet kuni fucking himself stupid on your cock.

“[n-nameee]~ please? h-help me! ca-anngh aaGKK! pleasshee~ help me! tired. shoo tired nngk~” whining about how tired he is and how he can’t ride your dick anymore he looked down at your face with a pitiful look and tears running down his cheeks. but you only smiled at him and squeezed his hips, gently making him grind down on you. he sometimes hated how easily in control you are.

“shhh, it’s alright baby boy. you can do it. i know you can. do it like how you always do okay? up and down baby boy. up and down” toying with his cherry red tip with one hand while guiding his hips to meet yours, scaramouche found himself growing more and more desperate. soon enough he came with a loud yell of your name and fell on top of you like a deflated balloon.

“aww you did such a good job darling. surely you don’t mind if we go a few more rounds right?” flipping yourselves over and kissing his cheeks you asked him for his permission. he can get overstimulated a bit too easily at times. nodding and smiling dumbly up at you with hearts in his eyes with a dazed look, this was gonna be a long night.

[just-some-random-blogger]

Observant

Being the Hand's young, second wife came with a lot of responsibilities, one of which was mellowing the frustrations of your husband.

Otto Hightower x Reader | 1k+ | cw: fem!reader, wife!reader, age difference/age gap, smut (piv, slight dub con, degradation kink, breeding kink, overstimulation, anal fingering, dacryphilia, sadism, praise kink) fluff I guess, typos, etc.

A/N: so i made a poll on what to write and fluff won and this is literally pwp but it has a fluffy ending (???) so it counts HAHAHAH IDK OTTO BRAIN ROT. LOBOTOMY ME IDC I HAVE TO GO TO WORK NOW BYE. A great day to be an otto fucker amirite HAHAHAH cross posted on ao3

You take in a breath the moment you reach the Hand's office. A chill runs down your spine as the night air seeps through your robe and night dress.

In truth, you figured your husband would have appreciated not being interrupted by you, though his pointed instruction otherwise, but there was another truth you answered to: that is, the ache between your legs that your fingers could not quell.

Even now, there was a heat that spread, which only intensified at the thoughts you knew would come to life the moment you knocked on your husband's office door. So you do.

"Who is it?" the deep voice snapped with as much intensity as a rabid dog.

Your belly instantly rolls. You rub is as you tighten your robe with one hand. The other, which was holding your lamp, shivers under its weight. You weakly manage to muster, "tis I, my lord."

A beat of silence.

You stiffen at the sound of heavy footsteps marching your way. A soft gasp leaves your lips when the door swings open and the face of the Lord Hand was glares at you.

"What is it, girl?" Otto hisses, both his hands resting on the sides of the door opening. His frame overwhelms you. His eyes are tired and his jaw is tense. 

Yes, you did always feel like some petulant little girl under the scrutiny of your much older husband. You lick your lips and exhale deeply to calm yourself. Simply, you remind him of his own words from earlier today, "tis the hour of the owl."

Lord Hightower is unmoved.

"I've come to fetch you."

A vein at the side of his neck threatens to pop. He pulls away and heads to his desk, "I have much to do, thanks to the fucking king."

You purse your lips at his words, thinking about the said man. Aegon was around your age, if not a bit younger, and at some point you had been friends, until you were promised to his grandfather.

You walk up to Otto's side and he rather instantly makes a spectacle of his abundant papers. He rants heatedly about it for a good moment, before turning to you. His face is worn and his shoulders squared, "I will not waste my time further by explaining this to you. Leave."

Otto places a hand on your bum and pushes you off. You budge, for after all, he was a man much bigger than you, even if no longer in his prime. Your hand darts to his desk to keep yourself upright, and the hand holding your lamp grips it firmly so that it would not slip. You return to your previous position as the man continues with his work.

"L e a v e," he drags out with audible vexation, "now."

"No."

He freezes.

"You will leave," you correct "—this room. Tis the hour of the owl."

Otto turns to you, offended, "you command me?"

You clench you jaw, "you command yourself. I am simply your obedient servant, lord husband."

Your lord husband stands. He towers over you and presses close, so close that he takes your lamp and puts it out, leaving it ignored on his desk, "am I not commanding you now?"

Your heart races when he takes your neck, thumb pressing on your throat as he rubs it. He can feel your raging pulse and it excites him, but not as much as your next words do, "you are you unkind when you are exhausted."

"To whom?" 

"To everyone," you mutter, "you must retire."

Otto releases your neck and heads for the door, "I will not."

Your brows furrow as you watch him storm off.

You realize only what he meant after following him into your shared chambers.

He grabs you from behind and sinks his face into your neck. You feel his beard against your skin and his hands eagerly clawing down your body. He pushes you into bed and you manage to look over your shoulder for the few seconds as he undoes his breeches. Not a second later, he pushes you on the sheets and pulls your skirt up.

You whimper into the cushion, bringing your face to the side as he rests his weight between your shoulders. He clenches his jaw as he grabs your hip. You obediently shift on your knees and gasp when he rubs his groin into yours. He sighs out a string of profanities when he feels your wetness. He pulls back and looks at the softness of your thighs, inspecting the pooling lust on your cunt. He rubs your clit, "my cherubic wife, so ready to be taken by her aged husband."

Your belly trembles as he uses your warm slick to flick your sensitive nub, leaving you to do nothing but curl your toes and whine into the sheets.

"Body so eager to be molded by my cock," he mutters. He slowly sinks two fingers into your weeping folds. He stretches you with his fingers and sinks deep, relishing the warm stickiness coating his digits, "so pretty like this. More so with my seed mixed with your arousal, dripping down your puckered cunt."

He continues to serve you with his fingers until pressure builds in your stomach. Then, with no warning and little care, Otto replaces his fingers with his hardened cock and fucks you thoroughly from behind. The hand he hand by your shoulder blades tingle into your hair. His other hand tirelessly works on your clit, expertly rubbing them that your body writhes under his weight.

You are trapped beneath him, however. He need only push on your head and lock your legs with his; you can do nothing else to do but take his cock and his fingers.

The sound of wet slapping skin and your uncontrollable whimpers dampen out the creaking and thudding of your bed against the stone wall. Quickly, your breathing began to grow strained and Otto gave no indication of slowing, especially not when he merited a scream from your lips from the pleasure building hotly in your stomach.

"Otto, Otto-" you begin to whine, nails ripping into the sheets, "w-wait— I-"

He furrows his brows at your words, offended that you would instruct him grant your reprieve. Just as he felt your slick building against his clothes? Even if he wanted to stop to catch his breath, he would not.

Alas, mortal man still was he, and his plowing had to slow. Slow, not stop. Though his arm began to tire, his fingers did not relent their assault on your swollen clit. He made up for any delays with slower but harsh flicks of his hip.

Your peak caught both of you off guard, and you came around his cock with a ghastly noise that made him stab your womb roughly in surprise. He stops moving altogether soon after.

Upon realizing the absolute bliss that seized your form, he puts all of his focus on your clit, wanting nothing but to make you shake and tighten around his wet cock as much as he possibly can.

The wind is knocked out if your lungs and your eyes water at the intensity of it all. And soon, it was all too much for you. It was all far too much, and yet he did not stop.

"Otto," your voice is hoarse as you sob into the dampened sheets, dampened with your tears and saliva.

He does not acknowledge you at all. He continues rubbing your pulsing clit with his fingers no matter how much your belly shook or your thighs trembled. He adores your mousy noises. He pulls your head back by your hair bit and slowly begins to thrust into you until the bed begins to creak at the intensity again.

It's too much, and the noise that rips out of you is nothing but further indication of this.

Your body struggles beneath him, your parted thighs that turned to putty were now shifting frantically in the hope to be free of this overwhelming sensation. You clench and unclench around him, hips pushing forward and back in an attempt to break away, but it, in fact, only makes your heady husband double down on his efforts to keep you in place.

His fingers only then finally leave your abused clit, but any form of recuperation you could get is stolen by the way both his veiny hands grip your hips and his manhood invades your cunny, intent on staking its claim.

He grunts as he looks down at your helpless form. He does nothing but use you for his pleasure and he cares little of whether or not your pretty pussy will tighten and quiver around him again.

Otto rubs your bum then coats his thumb with your slick before pushing it into your vacant rear, enough to hook into you and to make you squeal.

Soon enough, he can feel his legs ache and his belly burn. He ignores the former and his energy is sustained by the promise of filling his shaking bride with his come and watching it drip out of her.

Otto is silent while you noisily protest beneath him. Just as he begins to feel his balls tighten, he feels your cunt squeeze him again. Your neck strains as he bends down to lean into you, "take it, come slut. You know want you want to."

"S't-too much," you whine, tears rolling down your face.

Otto could not care less and begins to rub your clit again. You scream out in response and it's enough to make him reach his peak.

He slams into you with no steady tempo. He cares only for the pleasure raging on his cock and wants only to empty his balls into his warm, raggedly bride. As he does just that, feeling come and sweat drip from your garment to the sheet, he takes a few more thrusts, shallow ones where he does not move out of you very much, to ensure he thoroughly stuff all his heated lust into you.

And ever the dutiful husband, he plays with your clit for as long as it takes to make you scream and spasm into another pretty peak

Your nose is running as you sob, but the twist of your expression tells him that you were enjoying every second of it. He laughs, deeply, contentedly, pinning you against him and the bed. He doesn't listen to you until he is more than assured every bit of pleasure is wrung out of your darling body.

You begin to whine again like the tearful babe you were. You whisper an exhausted plea, "please, no more, Otto. Please."

He shushes you and pinches your clit, just to see you flinch and hear you beg some more. And beg you do, "n-no more, please," through sniffles.

He grips your jaw and kisses your salty cheek. He pulls you both to your sides, unwilling to pull out just yet. He has to ascertain his seed catches in your snug womb. He massages your breasts, imagining them get bigger for the babe he fucked into you. He pinches your nipples, making you whine again.

"O-Otto-"

"All is well, wife," he mutters, releasing his hold, only because you pushed his hand away. You lean into him as he rubs your belly. He rubs your nape with his nose, "good girl."

[sugar-grigri]

NEW FANTASTIC CHAPTER Sit back and let's talk about it together

This is a fantastic chapter for a number of reasons so I'll make several posts

1. Yoshida is the stupid one

Yoshida intended to manipulate Denji by putting him in a dilemma: either he stops being Chainsaw Man, or Nayuta will die.

When Denji says he wants both choices, he is scorned by Yoshida who, like their first meeting, thought he could easily manipulate him. So much so that he had planned his own response: Denji would resign himself and choose Nayuta for sure. But the one in the weakest position is Yoshida: he is the one who made the mistake and Denji did not give in.

What Fujimoto is indicating, in my opinion, is that not only will Yoshida never be Makima, but that he has no intention whatsoever of setting up a character who would be analogous to her

Makima's plans were meticulous, to the point where she anticipated the attacks that would target her

Yoshida isn't capable of this, but neither is public safety in Makima in general.

Denji is no longer the product of a system

I talked about this more broadly once before, but one of the themes of CSM is the system, and more broadly a critique of the world of work and capitalism. Fears are exploited, contracts are necessary and unbalanced, and only a sad and cold end awaits each of the public safety hunters.

The fact that Denji is calling for both choices is not a matter of stupidity, or of a capricious and childish reaction

This demand is a conscious choice not to belong to the system

More broadly, it is the conclusion of Denji's development as he reclaims his own identity: Chainsaw man

He can't be a mere human because he never was, having gone from a dehumanised child, a tool, to a heroic and demonic figure with no intermediary.

It was Makima who exploited Denji's dream of the bare minimum, of normality.

And it was the fact that he wanted something bigger that allowed him to fight her

Because he no longer respected the rules of the game that she herself had defined

"Obey or die", in other words, the paradigm that Denji had to fit into when he arrived is over

No one will give him this ultimatum

The two fingers have always been Denji's symbol

Firstly, the mistake of confusing peace with "don't worry, it'll be a piece of cake", a phrase he used when he was ready to face anything for Makima.

Then, Denji used it again when Power died a second time for him, showing that he'd be ready to keep on fighting.

"Don't worry it’ll be a piece of cake" now showed Denji's willingness to get out of Makima's system

It'll be as easy to fight for her as against her

From now on, this symbol would transcend everything and symbolize his identity, freed from any form of system or oppression: two choices, two identities, one human and the other demonic in the same package.

Chainsaw Man

If you're not tired and want to know why Chainsaw Man has to go…

The second part of this analysis is right here:

[idksmtms]

HUNGARY GP 2024 (Lando Norris x reader)

A/N: A short one to start things off! I felt way too many emotions after the hungary gp 2024 so I did what I always do: processed it through my writing 

(Also, requests for F1 are open!) 

Summary: The podium ceremony after the race was the first time you have ever been truly disappointed by your boyfriend, and you let him know it. 

Word count:  1,350 

Trigger Warnings: she/her pronouns, AFAB reader, the lando controversy post-hungary gp, like the slightest bit of OP x reader? But it’s platonic so it’s ok, couple arguing, angst bc I think we all felt it after that gp, disapproval, just you being annoyed at lando for taking his anger out on OP,  (please let me know if I missed any) 

Disclaimer: This is written purely for fictional purposes and for the sake of writing. No disrespect is intended to the real people portrayed/concerned in this scenario. 

Always appreciate comments, likes, and reblogs :)

After the trophy ceremony and dealing with the press interviews that only served to make him angrier, Lando made his way back to his driver room in the paddock to search for you. He had seen you in the crowd during the podium ceremony but you hadn’t looked too happy and disappeared as soon the champagne had finished and they all got onto the top step for a picture. He had handed off the trophy to Will, mumbling something about showering and finding you before walking back out. 

He was upset, and he needed a moment away from everyone on the team to cool down lest he say something he regretted. Though they came away with a 1-2, everything else during that race had been a shambles. Everything from team orders to the fact that he was the one actually in contention for the championship and had been forced to give up a significant points haul was now playing on his mind on repeat and he needed a cold shower and a conversation with you to put everything straight. 

He found you sitting in the little communal area just outside his and Oscar’s driver rooms. You were on your phone with a little frown on your face and looked up when you heard his steps on the stairs. He gave you a tired smile but you simply looked back down at your phone. He stopped on the top step, frowning at you as you refused to look back at him. He came closer, rubbing a hand aggressively over his hair, still sticky with champagne, but you didn’t budge. He walked until his legs were touching yours and the top of his racing suit, dangling from around his waist, was hanging over your lap. He knew you’d be annoyed if the suit dripped champagne onto you but you simply shuffled over to the other side of the couch and he sighed, feeling the anger and frustration rise in his chest again. He couldn’t do this today. He couldn’t deal with this. He was too tired and all he wanted from his girlfriend was a little love and sympathy. Was that really too much to ask for now? 

“What.” He bit out finally, glaring down at you, and at first you only flicked your eyes back up to his face, one eyebrow raising at his tone. Just as you opened your mouth to respond, another pair of footsteps came trudging up the stairs and Oscar entered the little area. 

“Oh, hi you two,” he gave a little wave and that polite cat smile of his, but before he could disappear into his room, you were standing from the sofa with a wide smile, skipping over to him with arms raised. 

“Congratulations you!” You exclaimed loudly, wrapping him up in a hug as he chuckled against your shoulder, manoeuvring his trophy around you so he could return the hug. “First race win already! I’m so proud of you!” You let out a little squeal, rubbing his back as you pulled away to look at him and the trophy he now cradled in his arms. 

“Thank you, thank you,” he smiled the widest smile you had ever seen him give thus far, and you resisted the urge to reach up and pinch his cheek like he was a little kid. 

You looked down at the trophy, a bigger version of the one Lando had received, and gently touched the painting on the ceramic. 

“It’s beautiful! Perfect for a first win, don’t you think?” You asked him. 

“It really is,” he sighed, gazing at the trophy reverently. You pulled him in for another quick hug before lightly pushing his shoulder in the direction of his room. 

“Ok, now go have a shower, you’re disgusting and sweaty and I’m sure Lily would appreciate a clean boyfriend coming back to her.” He chuckled and nodded, saying a quick goodbye as he headed for his room. Before he closed the door he looked between you and Lando for a moment, the thundering look on Lando’s face and the frown slowly slipping back onto your features. He really hoped you guys would save your argument for Lando’s driver room, he didn’t want to eavesdrop on that particular conversation… 

After Oscar had safely closed the door behind him, you looked at Lando then went straight into his driver’s room. He followed after you with a huff and slammed the door shut behind himself. You began pacing in front of the bed, hands on your hips as you chewed on your lip and huffed out angry little breaths. 

“What?” He asked again, trying a gentler approach this time. 

“I’m trying to come up with calm and polite words for my anger, Lando,” you huffed out, crossing your arms over your chest but continuing your little path back and forth. 

“You can’t seriously be mad at me for decisions the team made,” he threw his hands up and let them fall back against his sides, looking up at the ceiling in exasperation. He shook his head and clicked his tongue but you paused your pacing to shake your head at him in return. 

“That’s not why I’m mad,” you told him firmly, walking a little closer. He frowned and dropped his head back down to look at you but you had begun pacing again already, gesturing angrily in the air as you spoke. “I’m mad because you went up on that podium, and completely ignored Oscar. I’m mad because Oscar is your friend and that was his first win. Lando, you of all people know how special a first win is in this sport, and you know the joy a person should feel on their first win. Instead, Oscar was apologising on the radio at the end of the race, and on the podium, when you should have been spraying him with champagne and celebrating with him, you basically ignored him the entire time.” You paused, face melting slightly as you walked up to him and gently cupped his face. He had been staring at the floor as you spoke, jaw clenched and an angry little frown on his face. He looked up when he felt your soft hand gently stroke his cheek and saw the pained look on your face. He leaned a little into your touch but didn’t bother even trying to open his mouth for a response. “Lando, babe, I get why you’re angry. And you have every right to be angry, but not at him. And not around him on this occasion either. He should be feeling elated and hopeful for the future, not worrying how someone else is taking his win or not feeling down because someone else is seething around him. He’s your teammate, your friend. Please,” you pleaded, and a long sight shot out of his mouth. He began nodding, eyes closed and mouth set in a straight line, before bending down so he could press his face into your shoulder. 

His entire body seemed to melt into you and you wrapped your arms around him, ignoring the dampness of his sweat and champagne. He kept his face pressed to your neck, slowly breathing in and out as his eyelids flickered against your skin. He loved the smell of your perfume, and you always dabbed some on your neck. It stayed there the longest so Lando had gained a habit of pressing his face there and just breathing you in. If you were laying in bed, he wouldn’t care about crushing you under him just to get into that position.

He circled his arms around you under your own and both of you stayed like that for a few minutes. Then, so quiet you wouldn’t have heard if he wasn’t pressed so close to your ear, he mumbled, 

“I know.” You gently threaded your fingers up through the short hair on the back of his head and into the mop of curls at the top. You tilted your head slightly to kiss the side of his head and simply hummed. And that was that.

[punk-in-docs]

🕸️ Pretty Girls Make Graves 🕸️

Eddie x Pencils - 🎃 Halloween 🎃one shot

2.7k words

Summary: pretty much what it says on the tin. Halloween one shot with our dearest Eddie x Pencils. Enjoy. Pure fluff. A tiny suggestion of smut at the end. Inspired by this lovely photo set & this prompt post that got me off my ass to write again.

Also another shoutout to the gorgeous @tvserie-s-world who made this amazing Eddie x Pencils edit that I’m still gooey over. 🖤

“So, what brings you to my dark and creepy neck of the woods?”Came a cocky taunt as soon as the trailer door swung open after your knock.

It’s usual rusty-screeching melody preceding its occupants flirty remark. The sound of the Smiths comes slithering out the creaking door behind him. The tape you bought that got lost in the avalanche of both your cassettes that slide and slip, congregate on his passenger seat.

He will not smile for anyone. And pretty girls make graves.

The lanky shadow of your boyfriend cuts across the warm yellow glow of the lights that slant out the doorway behind him. His costume makes you grin. Sheer moronic love.

You stood halfway up the steps. Candles flickering and throwing dozy pools orange in Jack-o-lanterns across the toes of your boots. They’re all wonky and have imperfect slanted mouths and jagged eyes. Loping together on the uneven porch steps. Fat orange gourds all drunk with gravity.

The very same pumpkins you’d helped him carve a week ago, after a misty morning weekend trip to Merill’s pumpkin farm. Eddie had the rather dastardly and determined habit of choosing pumpkins bigger and heavier than his actual van tires. You ended up with so many.

Your kitchen has smelt like squelchy pumpkin innards all week. You’re still finding seeds cropping up under the toaster or in the corner of the cabinets. As per Eddie’s way with most things, It wasn’t exactly a neat process.

You can’t help but laugh at his greeting too.

“I distinctly remember making plans to invade the spooky neck of your woods tonight, my little death trap.” You smile as you edge your way up the sloping steps. Holding a huge pumpkin shaped bucket of candy in your arms. The contents rustle as you move.

Everyone’s touting pumpkin buckets tonight. Driving in and even on the street back home, you saw a load of elementary kids walking around the park in their costumes. Ghosts in bedsheets. Aliens. Bats. One very ambitious papier maché pumpkin. Superhero’s. Clowns. Home made astronauts clad in crinkly tin foil and bulbous helmets. All wandering with an adult in tow and buckets clutched in their hands, ready to be filled.

You opted for a simple witch costume. Stripy tights and your dark thrifted docs. A black dress with a little cape tied around your shoulders and a witches hat. You applied dark purple-plum lipstick and dark smudgey grey eyeshadow, and liner. Your eyelids glitter like purple constellations. He finds stars to gaze at so often in those pretty eyes.

Eddie had gone for an Alice Cooper inspired look. Top hat. The dripping dark eye makeup that you’re amazed he managed all on his own. Hair it’s usual long rocker mess. Gothic black and lots of it. A huge goth belt with studs and buckles. You spy a cane grasped by his side too. A fake toy snake looped around his neck. Just like the man himself. He really does go all out.

The fringe benefit being he looks hot as hell to your eyes.

“You’ve got me under your spell, O’ bewitching one. How could I possibly resist.” He opened his arms out to you as you came to the last step.

“Bet you say that to every witch who shows up at your door on hallows eve.” You smile. Unashamedly grab the snake that’s looped around his neck and reel him in by it.

“Only ones who bought me jolly ranchers.” He preens. He can see the multi coloured hue of the wrapped candy in the huge bowl you’re carrying.

At the same time, he plucks the flimsy pointed witches hat off your head so the brim doesn’t get in his way. You unconsciously move towards the same goal together. It’s spooky. Sometimes it’s like you have the same brain. You’re one entity mashed together in a frenzy of melding hearts, music mania and relentless adolescent infatuation.

He lopes forwards and gladly slots his slanting smirk onto yours. Tasting of orange sweet candy corn and beer. His thumb and forefinger meet on your chin. Your hand slid for his neck. Fingertips along his jaw as you share a giddying kiss. You mouth at the plushness of his lips. He does the same to you.

You pull back before he makes you swoon dangerously down these steps. His kiss should come with a warning sign; dangerously addictive metal head. May possess body and soul.

You can tell already that you’ll have to wave goodbye to this lipstick. It’s now smeared all around your mouth and most of his. Now he looks like Alice Cooper doing nine to ten in Arkham Asylum.

“Hello.” You beam. Rubbing smudged purple off his lips. Vamptastic Plum the colour name.

“Hi.” He smirks like a lunatic. End of his nose rubbing into yours where he gazes at you.

He does it a lot. It’s honestly so lovesick you should be kinda nauseated.

When you’re studying. Watching a movie. Eating popcorn or pizza. Every now and again he’ll just rest his chin in his hand and smile all warm and stupid at you. Cheeks bunched and crows feet at his eyes. Even when you have paint flecked across your forehead. Or pizza cheese slung in a string across your chin. Or when you’re frowning at your fingers when you smear your nail drying polish. He loves watching you just be near him.

It always ends the same way. You’ll feel his eyes burning their fond cinnamon gaze into you. You’ll turn and meet his eyes. And that smile lopes even wider. He’ll loop a pinky though yours and kiss the back of your hand. Or your forehead.

“Permission to enter your lair?” You seek.

“Thought only vamps had to ask permission to come in?” He flirts with you. Eyes on your mouth again. Your lips all kiss bruised makes him ache. In fact, makes another sort of serpent twitch in his jeans.

“Misdirection. I am actually a vampire. The witch outfit is a clever disguise to work my cunning way into unsuspecting trailers.” You raise your brows naughtily.

He grins. “Clever subterfuge.”

He slips aside from the door to let you come in. Another kiss pressed to your lips before he lets you sidle on past him. He hangs your witches hat on the coat rack with his spare jacket and Wayne’s denim.

“Need me to park your broom?” He jests.

“Left it in the car with my black cat. You’re safe.”

“How many more witchy jokes could we stretch this out too?”

“I reckon I’ve a few left knocking around…” you guess. Placing the bucket of candy on the kitchen counter. Hopefully Eddie doesn’t pilfer the whole lot before Wayne’s home. You hope he leaves his uncle a treat or two. And doesn’t scarf the lot like a damn seagull.

This trailer hugs you any time you enter. You thought that when you and Eddie started dating. And you still think it now. Capital H home. This place. Filled with his and Wayne’s memorabilia. And a few more other things tonight;

You haven’t seen your boyfriend as much of late. He’s been out hitting the teenage party circuits with his metal lunchbox. Making a healthy chunk of change by the looks of it. He’s strung up plenty of decorations to help pep this place up with Halloween spirit.

There’s pumpkin paper garlands arced in loops up high. Orange and black twisting streamers over the mug shelves. Fake rubbery bats hanging down from the kitchen island cupboards. Dancing skeletons hanging on the little spare space the walls have to offer. The coffee table is cleared of its usual junk and absolutely heaped in candy and snacks.

Butterfingers. Butter popcorn. Pretzels. Red vines. Cheez balls. Mallomars. All of which happen to be your favourites. He has two cold beers side by side. And a fat tight joint sits waiting in the ashtray too.

He’s even bought those fake filmy cobwebs to spread in a few places with fake plastic spiders - to join in with the real ones dusted around in forgotten corners.

All your tensions melt down right to your toes. All is right with the world. Halloween night. No school tomorrow. And Eddie. And a whole uninterrupted night of movies and bliss. You’ve lost count of the amount of times a movie night has ended up getting dirty on his couch. Tape flicking to the end whilst you’re attached lip to lip with wandering hands.

You sigh gladly as you stand to toe off your shoes. Putting them aside. Heat slides into your stomach all squirly and scorching as he stands from behind you and his hand reach around and skilfully undo the cape around your shoulders.

“Let’s get you comfy my temptress of the night. Beer?” He seeks. Throwing your cape over his shoulder. It lands nowhere even near the coat rack.

“Yes please my lovable nightmare.” You sass. You walk over to the couch. Spying an absolute mound of VHS’s ready to go by the TV. The colour seemed to dip in and out sometimes. The set was old. Eddie had to whack the side sometimes to get it to behave. You find it more endearing than a set that worked seamlessly.

You pluck pieces of popcorn out the bowl and throw them onto your tongue. Crunch them down as you sit with your knees tucked under you.

Eddie kills the music and slings himself down next to you on the lumpy couch. Frame squeaking and rattling as he settles.

“Damn. You got a great selection, Munson. What did you do, bribe Harrington with your soul to score all this?” You remark as you peer at the videos on the coffee table.

1941 Wolfman. Christopher Lee’s Dracula. The Fog. Halloween. House on Haunted Hill. And Friday the 13th. You loved old school movies as much as he did. The old swelling suspense of a good black and white.

“Nothin major. Just a little selling of my body and charms. Deviant sexual acts. Just so you know I’ll have raw knees for a month.”

“Mm you filthy slut.” You hush. Impressed.

“Finest slut in the Midwest.”

“So I’ve heard.” You grin. Leaning in to kiss him. Seemed too infeasible not too. He cups the back of your head as you do. Keeping you close as he dares. Sweet kiss like icing sugar dusted across your lips.

He makes a small ‘mmm’ noise before you pull back.

“Besides. I consider The Fog a film that makes me think fondly of our very early courtship.” He remarks.

Snoopy bed shorts. A tin of Campbells. His lunatic escapades of climbing in your window late at night.

“And, well, only the best for you, Pencils.” He grins.

You tilt your head. A sigh caught in your throat.

“You must’ve busted your ass to get all this. You didn’t need too. You know I don’t need all this. I’m happy just to watch crappy reruns with you and order a pizza.” You tell him.

Concerned about the cash he would’ve laid out for tonight. The decor. The snacks. The primo shit from Rick. All must’ve cost a pretty penny.

“You’re worth every damn cent. When you’re dating a spooky awesome girl you gotta put in the ultimate spooky effort.” He tells you. Gripping his beer bottle and leaning back.

You clink your beer bottle to his.

“Please tell me you overcharged those meathead jocks for your product.”

“…. And then some.” He winks.

That’s my boy. You couldn’t be more proud.

“I’ll drink to that.” You murmur. Taking a pull on your cold beer. Cool heaven sliding down your throat.

“Thanks to Tina’s party last week, I mean, man, I scored big time. So many stoners invited. Walk in the park.” He smiled.

That deserved a kiss. Which you gladly give.

“Kinda love you for that.” You suppose. But there were no two ways about it - you were completly head over heels for him.

“Good to know.” He supplies. Hand rubbing your back.

“We better put a video on before I maul you.” You threaten with a great deal of flirt. Dragging your purple painted fingernails down the front of his top.

“Mmm kinky.” He grins. Leaning over to press a spitty kiss to your cheek. Before diving for the pile of VHS.

“Ok, roughly how long do you wanna argue about which one we watch first?” He seeks.

You narrow your eyes. Taking a sip back of your beer. “Depends if I win or not.” You look at him all cunning.

“House on haunted hill?” He bargains. Crouching and pointing the VHS at you.

“Don’t point that thing at me.” You smile. Stealing another handful of popcorn. Eating it with a grin.

Let the bickering commence…

~

The credits rolled to your third film of the night. Halloween the 1978 original. Orange twinkle lights flicker in the warm yellow lights near the kitchen. The rest of the trailer in dozy darkness. The sounds of kids trick or treating and laughing, batter against the trailer side in the night air.

You magnanimously let him pick the film. Maybe you’re growing soft in your old age.

This found you and Eddie slumped down together on the ratty couch. Limbs tangled. Joint smouldering in the ashtray. Verdant smoke in the air. Beer bottles empty. Only popcorn kernels left in the bottom of the bowl. The snacks had been pilfered and pinched at your leisure.

Eddie was pressed down onto you like a lanky weighted blanket. Snoozing happily with a belly full of beer and cheez balls. Socked feet hanging off the end of the couch. Hands slung all over you like a gangly octopus. He’s currently letting out content little breathy snores with his head cushioned against your boobs. A little spit of drool by the side of his mouth.

He’d nodded off sometime around Michael Myers fifth victim with the boyfriend and the blonde pigtails. You’d been carding your fingers through his hair. Scratching his scalp. Made his eyes flick back in his head.

You swear he was one step away from twitching his foot in contentment like a canine at the work of your hands. Made his brain short circuit.

More so when he was on Indica. Just the kinda hit he needed for a slow sleepy and spooky night in. You can’t deny you’re fighting the effects of it yourself.

A couple of puffs. Eyelids drowsy. Your limbs feeling like cotton stuffed pillows. Indolent and slow. And now you’ve got your perfect metal head keeping you pressed down.

“Guess the party circuit wiped you for six, huh babe?” You smile. Thumbing his cheek. He mumbled something incomprehensible.

You shift your leg up. Which tumbles his knee more into your lap. He snuffled. Nuzzling his head further onto you. His breath was all sugary red vines, and fruity weed.

You kept on stroking his hair. Leaning forward to nuzzle a kiss to the crown of his messy hair. Apple shampoo and that lost tang of American spirits.

“Edward?” You ask.

You get a sleepy, sticky gurgle from him.

“I’ve got a really nice bra and panties set on under this dress, y’know.” You whisper at him.

Another mumble. You smile and rest your cheek on his warm head.

“You’ll have to let me move to put the next movie in, babe.” You tell.

“No. S’comfy.”

Then you hear him grumble. “Boobs.”

“Great boobs.”

You chuckle. Honestly.

“Knock yourself out. Munson. You smile.

Shifting down to let sleep come and gently take you too.

“Oh, and Happy Halloween.” You add. Letting your eyes close. Letting the static at the end of the video ebb you softly into dreams. Along with the sound of wind kindly rattling the roof. Brushing along the walls outside. All the trick or treaters have been coerced indoors. Safe inside with their candy spoils.

Much later on. You hear the rustle of clothes and feel the heat of his breath. The warmth of his limbs leeches off you when he moves. Coldness sneaks in.

You wake with bleary-sticky eyes to those brown ones staring back at you. Cheeks all flushed. The tell-tale sign of a tented zipper bursting at his crotch.

That dripping eye make up looks smeared and downright dangerous. He looks absolutely ravishing and you suddenly shake off your tiredness to see him looking so good like this.

“You said something about a bra, Pencils…” he smiles. “Be a shame not to show it off now-“ He beams. Waggles his brows.

“Heard that did you?” Your brow crooks.

Happy Halloween, indeed.

This is for everyone; but especially for @tvserie-s-world @lunatictardis @heyndrix @callmeloverr @joequinnswhore @atabigail @thewrathoffemalerage @lurkingprincess @songforeddiemunson @palomahasenteredthechat @babybluebex

[wave2tyun]

killshot | ☆

pairing: taehyun x fem!reader

genre: spy!au, enemies to lovers, fake dating, slow burn, suggestive, a bit of fluff and angst

summary: your life seemed to have taken a turn for the worse the minute kang taehyun stepped foot into the spy agency you worked at. wanting to take on a challenge to prove yourself worthy of the top position, your plans were turned upside down with his addition to the mission. you didn’t think things could get any worse, until they stated one clear, mandatory condition: the two of you had to pretend you were a couple.

warnings: lots of swearing, alcohol consumption, the reader gets tipsy (twice), mentions of death, guns and bombs (there’s nothing explicit though), the presence of an annoying drunk man | let me know if i missed something!!

word count: 9.7k

a/n: this was just a silly little idea that i got during a car drive asdbfhj whenever i repost fics i always kind of get the urge to say "omg this was one of my favorite fics to write" - i think it's because i end up getting so attached to the little universes that i create and then look back on them fondly; with this one, i really really mean it when i say those words (maybe because it's also longer). when i first posted it i actually felt like i gave birth cause it got SO MUCH LONGER than i anticipated ASBHJDS

☆ = repost from my old blog!!

"no."

"hear me out-"

"i'm not hearing anybody out. i'm doing this alone- just like we intended from the start" you hissed.

"y/n, we went over this already" irene pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing "the enemy has changed their plan of action, so we need to change it too. it's not safe for you to go alone anymore"

"that i can understand. but him-" you pointed an accusatory finger to the man in front of you “why does he need to be involved in this? there have to be other suitable agents for this mission”

“trust me, darling, if i could do this alone, i would” he replied bitterly, rolling his eyes.

“listen you two- these orders came directly from the head office. they want you to work on this, not anybody else- and there’s nothing that i can do to change this.” irene crossed her arms. she was completely tired of the way you were both behaving- just like two kids continuously throwing sand in each other’s eyes.

“fine.” you gave in, biting your tongue and swallowing your pride. there was no use being stubborn if the head office was involved, the best thing you could do in this situation was to choose being the bigger person.

irene raised an eyebrow at taehyun, waiting for his response as well.

“fine-“ he repeated after you, throwing daggers towards your direction. you were glad to know the feeling of disgust was mutual.

“finally” irene exclaimed, letting out a big sigh “took you long enough. here’s the modified plan papers. remember- there’s no way i’m allowing you to back out anymore”

you took the small stack of papers from her hands, skimming through the text. gather the gadgets and weapons, bla bla bla, disarm the bomb hidden at the event, bla bla bla, protect france’s president, bla bla bla, disguise yourself as a couple- wait.

“are you fucking kidding me- am i reading this right?” you spat out, eyes almost popping out at the sight. you went over the passage again and again, hoping that you had simply misread it- but there it was, black ink on white paper, the word written clear as day: “couple”

irene massaged her temples with her hands “in order for this mission to be carried out with ease, we need you to act as a cou-“

“no” you both said in unison, cutting her off.

you side-eyed taehyun, somehow feeling offended that he also declined the proposal right away. you knew you had your reasons to not accept that condition- but why was he saying “no”?

kang fucking taehyun- his name alone felt like poison on your tongue.

but it wasn’t like your hatred towards him was unjustified- in fact, you couldn't remember if there was even one second- let alone one day- where him just breathing didn’t make you feel like plotting murder. one day, he just strutted into the agency, acting like he owned the place. he was quick to gain respect from his superiors, his charms alone making it easier for him to receive more complicated missions- and better equipment. you being mad was an understatement. why? just because he was a man, he had it all easy. he has been in the agency for just one year, and he has already surpassed you in ranks, all of the hard work you’ve been putting in for years going down the drain.

you’ve been relentlessly trying to regain your honorable place in the agency. kang taehyun was quick to catch on to your little act, and he wasn’t one to back off easily either- resulting in the two of you being at each other’s necks every second. you viewed this mission as what could have possibly been ‘your redemption arc’. the universe somehow always found a way to get him involved in your business. but this time, you weren’t gonna let him steal your spotlight- not again. you needed to find a way to secure the number one place in rankings like you used to, and you were willing to do whatever it took to feel that glory one more time, even if that meant cooperating with the kang taehyun.

“if you die, i’ll kill you” you hissed.

“big words coming from someone who stands on a chair to reach the top shelves” he fought back, unfazed by your threat. your mouth opened at this accusation, when did he even catch you doing that?

“you piece of-“

“enough” irene sighed, moving to stand between the two of you “you’re gonna bring back my migraines if you keep on acting like that. can’t you treat each other as normal people do? just this once- please? you’re only making this harder for yourselves”

you sighed, rubbing the nape of your neck. irene was a sweetheart, she didn’t deserve to be the victim of your petty fight “when do we have to start?”

her eyes seemed to light up a bit, relieved by your change in attitude “as soon as possible” she skimmed through her notes again “the earliest flight is in 3 days- how about it?”

“that’s okay for me” you said. you silently glanced over at taehyun, who rolled his eyes, uncrossing his arms “guess i’m in too”.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

5 hours.

that was the amount of time you had to endure sitting next to taehyun on the flight. you could handle this, you tried to tell yourself. you’ve been in much worse situations during some of your missions. in the end, it didn’t necessarily mean that the two of you had to interact during that time. you could just sleep the whole flight away and not have to exchange a word with taehyun once.

wrong.

kang taehyun just seemed to love seeing you suffer, in any way, shape or form. it had you seriously contemplating whether he was some kind of sadist. you thought you could at least go through check in and security without any unpleasant incidents happening, but you were wrong- so painfully wrong.

you arrived two hours early to the airport, wanting to get done with the whole process as fast as possible then hide from taehyun at the food court until it was time for you to board the plane. however, two minutes after you took your place in the check-in line, your peace was disrupted.

“you’re early- were you that eager to see me, sweetheart?”

your eye was twitching at the sound of the nickname. you didn’t even have to turn your head to the right to know who was next to you.

“why did it have to be you here at this hour?” you grumbled.

“crazy- it’s almost as if we’re on the same flight” he rolled his eyes “don’t even think about going to the back of the line- we have the same last name on the tickets so we shouldn’t go separately anyway”

you loosened your grip on the suitcase and bit your cheek, it was like he knew your exact thoughts at the moment. the whole thing was all too corny for you- why did the company have to change your name and give you new documents? just because you were ‘a couple’ didn’t mean that you had to be married as well.

security didn’t exactly go smooth either- as if the whole process wasn’t already stressful enough. you should have been suspicious the moment taehyun let you sit in front of him at the line. at that moment, you just brushed it off and thought nothing of it, but when the metal detector went off as you were walking through- that’s when it all clicked.

that little fucker slipped one of his rings in your pocket.

a string of unholy words was running wildly in your mind as the security patted you down to search for any suspicious items. you wished you could jump on him and wipe that grin off his face. he somehow felt the need to embarrass you even further once the ring had been found. he put on a charming smile as he rubbed the nape of his neck, looking up at the security lady “so sorry for my wife- she tends to be quite clumsy, i told her before to check well before walking away from me”

the lady melted down in an instant, letting out a bunch of ‘it’s okay’ before handing you back the ring. he felt the need to make such a scene and for what? to feed his ego? you didn’t bother to wait until he was through with security as well. you gathered your things from the tray as fast as you could, storming past all the other people to get further away from him.

you browsed all the shops (sometimes even hiding in the dressing rooms) until you couldn’t avoid taehyun any longer. you didn’t talk to him once you met up again, even though you knew that it didn’t affect him anyway. nonetheless, taehyun ensured that your day would have a cherry on top- by stealing the one and only window seat.

and you?

you made sure to spill your water on him during turbulence.

that seemed to be enough to make him stop bothering you throughout the flight. he slept away as you played sudoku on your phone, too paranoid to fall asleep yourself in case he would wake up with new ideas in mind.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

after making sure that your bag smacked taehyun’s head when you took it from the upper storage, you both went to retrieve your luggage then headed out to find a taxi and go to your accommodation.

valets, chandeliers, grand paintings adoring the walls, the hotel seemed quite fancy. you weren’t really used to this kind of treatment from your agency, it was the least they could do for all the headaches you were going to endure throughout the mission.

the receptionist handed you the small paper sleeve containing the key cards. you furrowed your brows as you opened it, peering inside. there were 2 cards in there, but for the exact same hotel room. you instantly expressed your confusion “why is there just one r-“ taehyun kicked your foot, continuing to smile at the receptionist as you bit your tongue to hold back a scream. “is there anything else i can help you with?” she inquired.

“i’m pretty sure that’s it, thank you” taehyun answered before you could open your mouth to speak. he took hold of your arm, flashing the receptionist another fake smile before dragging you along with him towards the elevator.

“don’t touch me” you broke free from his grip “what the hell was that about?”

taehyun pressed the floor number on the keypad “are you that fucking dense? he sighed exasperatedly “we’re a couple- remember? we need to act like one, so stop having these unnecessary slip-ups”

‘stupid cover’ you cursed in your mind the person who had been in charge for outlining the plans for your mission. out of all the possible lies they could have made you hold on to- this is what they went for. it was almost like they did this on purpose to annoy you.

ding.

you took hold of your suitcase again, following behind taehyun as you searched for your room “besides- the hotel isn’t scruffy this time, their budget seems to be pretty high for once. so, they might have booked us a suite, not just a single room” he continued, trudging the door open.

your feet were frozen, not moving an inch from the doorway “taehyun- this is not a fucking suite” you snarled, slowly turning your head in his direction.

“why are you talking as if it’s my fault?” taehyun snapped back. he entered the room, bumping his shoulders against yours as you refused to go further in.

“well if you hadn’t been so quick to silence me at the reception- maybe this wouldn’t have been a problem” you pushed your suitcase in, putting your hands on your hips.

“and risk blowing our cover? yeah- what a great plan that would have been” he huffed.

“there’s no way i’m sharing a bed with you” you hissed

“don’t worry- it’s not a pleasure for me either sweetheart. it’s either sleeping on the floor- or with me. your choice”

taehyun didn’t seem like he would ever consider giving up his spot on the bed- but neither did you. you weren’t going to settle for back pain as he snored away on the soft mattress.

so, you laid down on the bed, as far away as you could from taehyun. you were sitting so close to the edge that you were on the verge of falling off, but you couldn't even stand the mere thought of being in such close proximity to him. the thought of his arm touching yours made your skin crawl. 

yet, despite breathing in the same room as taehyun, you somehow managed to get what was probably the best sleep of your life. keeping your eyes closed just for one moment more, you held the blanket closer to you, enjoying the warmth it provided, snuggling your face deeper into the pillow beneath you. but the pillow wasn't as soft as you remembered when you put your head down to sleep last night. instead, it was hard, and somehow hot to the touch. confused, you brought a hand up and pressed down on it, slightly squeezing it, then removed it as if you had just gotten burnt when you were met with the feeling of bare skin on skin.

"if you wanted to touch me that badly you could have just asked, love" a raspy voice came from beneath you.

"what the fuck-" you shouted as you got up and finally opened your eyes. you squinted as you adjusted to the bright light coming from the sun.

kang taehyun was sitting right next to you, bare chest exposed and a playful smirk plastered on his face.

"how did we- when did you even take your shirt off?"

"are you always this loud in the morning?" he asked, ignoring your questions. his hair was a ruffled mess, slightly puffy face indicating that he hadn't been awake for that long either.

you still looked at him expectingly, waiting for him to answer. he huffed, rolling his eyes "you snuggled with your burning limbs close to me as you slept. i got overwhelmingly hot so i took off my shirt. there- simple as that"

"why didn't you just push me off or something" you asked. it wasn’t typical for him to act like this.

what taehyun said was indeed the truth. he couldn’t stand you- yes, but he wasn’t an asshole. he couldn’t find it in him to wake you up or pry you off him, as he didn’t want to wake up in the morning to you being groggy. therefore, he was left with only one option: enduring it.

pushing your question aside once more, taehyun got up from the bed, stretching as he made his way to the bathroom, he stopped right before getting past the door to speak "did you know you talk in your sleep? you seemed to enjoy it, i didn't want to ruin the fun for you." he snickered, disappearing into the other room.

you stood there with your jaw hanging, unable to form any kind of comeback to argue. was there even a way to recover from that? when you heard the shower running, you took a pillow from the bed, burying your face into it and silently screaming. you wanted to dig a hole for yourself at least 20 meters underground.

after regaining your composure, you got ready so that you and taehyun could get started on today’s task: gathering the necessary weapons and equipment. irene informed you about some namjoon guy they had a contract with. he apparently sold any kind of gear you would ever need for a mission: from smoke bombs to lethal poison- he had it all. you went to the outskirts of the city searching for a shabby cabin (not suspicious at all), the storage hidden away in an underground system there.

“are you sure this is the right place?” you asked taehyun, eyeing the old rusty door. the whole place just screamed ‘murder’, how exactly did your agency even come to find out about the guy? maybe you didn’t want to know.

“the coordinates match up with what irene sent us- so yeah, probably. try not to hold my hand if you’re so scared” he chuckled.

you ignored his childish remark, going past him to open the heavy door. the inside didn’t match up with the exterior, it was surprisingly warm and cozy. a man with purple hair and a black dress shirt was sitting on an armchair, book in hand. you assumed it was namjoon.

“oh- hello?” you didn’t exactly know how to approach him, you felt bad for barging in without even knocking.

his eyes glanced up from the book “ah” he got up “finally, i was worried irene didn’t send you the right location” he flashed you a dimpled smile. for a man who owned over one thousand weapons, you didn’t expect him to be this...cute?

taehyun bit his cheek “so you’re namjoon?”

“yes, and i already know who you two are. come on- follow me”

namjoon lead you towards an elevator, hidden away from curious eyes in a crowded closet. the ride down seemed almost endless, but that’s how it needed to be. if one single gunshot could be heard from the surface, his entire business could risk being destroyed.

“i’ve got a couple of things for you to try, as well as some accessories irene asked me to give you” namjoon put down a box on a table. it wasn’t anything out of the ordinary- laser pen, tracking devices, coat button cameras, the usual. the guns weren’t exactly essential for your mission, they were more of a safety precaution. either way, you still had to practice using them.

getting into the designated practice area, you and taehyun each had a target to hit. you needed at least 5 good shots in a row to be deemed skilled enough for the weapon. taehyun’s first try was perfect, meanwhile yours barely hit the target.

“seems like someone’s rusty”

“beginner’s luck” you mumbled.

giving it another go, you ended up with the same result. the exact thing happened the 3rd try as well. you frowned, it wasn’t usually like this for you, and taehyun’s cocky smirk only made your blood boil further.

“nervous?” he chuckled

“i’m just warming up- i need to get used to it” you got back into your shooting stance, putting your finger on the trigger.

“take your time, darling, hell’s happy to wait for you”

you missed again.

“can you just shut up for one fucking minute?” you huffed. you didn’t want to let taehyun get to you, but even when he didn’t open his mouth to speak you could still hear his voice in your mind, mocking you.

“i can give you something else if you want to-“ namjoon tried to help, not knowing he only angered you further.

“i need him out of sight- not another weapon” you quickly dismissed him “can i get a private practice room?”

“practicing in private won’t fix your lack of talent” you heard taehyun whisper.

if looks could kill, taehyun would be on the floor the second those words left his mouth “if i point this gun towards your direction i’ll make sure that it won’t be a miss” you fumed.

namjoon was clearly taken aback by the tension in the room. desperate to diffuse the situation, he kindly asked taehyun to look around the other areas as you practiced a few more rounds with him.

you felt bad for the guy, he was a victim to yet another one of your fights with taehyun. you kept the rest of your interactions with him short, wanting to get back to the hotel as soon as possible.

“look- i’ll buy you ice cream, will that make it better?” taehyun asked exasperatedly.

“i’m not a fucking child” you snarled. the only thing up until now that taehyun had managed to do successfully was ridiculing you- and you were fed up with it. did he think that some ice cream was going to erase all those embarrassing moments he had been putting you through?

“well what do you want me to do then?” he sighed.

“i don’t know- maybe stop acting like an asshole? like you’re better than me?”

taehyun stopped the car on the side of the road, his hands gripping the steering wheel harder “i’m not acting like an asshole” he turned his head to look at you.

“yes, you are- you did that the whole day and you are doing that right now” you said in utter disbelief. his snarky attitude was tipping you over.

“get out” he spoke firmly, breaking eye contact with you.

“what?”

taehyun didn’t know how much longer he could be with you in the car without losing his temper even more “i said get out” he repeated once again, closing his eyes “go on and find the way to the hotel yourself”

“fine” you scoffed. you grabbed your purse and slammed the car door as hard as you could once you got out of the vehicle. taehyun wasted no time getting back on the road. finally, he could breathe again.

“jerk” you screamed. what a great time to wear heels this was. you made your way to the side walk, shielding your eyes from the sun with your hands as you looked around, trying to recall any familiar surroundings. with every step you took, it felt like your foot was pressed into a hot piece of lego. you had been wearing those damn heels all day, and now the agonising pain was finally starting to kick in.

taehyun couldn’t help but constantly steal glances at you from the rearview mirror, watching as you struggled to walk without your feet wobbling. sighing, he waited until he could take a turn to go back and pick you up. maybe you weren’t the only one that acted like a kid.

getting back to the same spot he just left you at barely 2 minutes ago, taehyun stopped the car. yet you weren’t anywhere to be found. he got out to search the area better- nothing.

“shit” he mumbled under his breath.

taehyun couldn’t stay still as he waited for you to return. of course, he got to the hotel faster because of the car, but what was taking you so long to arrive? the thought of him ruining the mission because of a petty fight was tormenting his mind. he didn’t want to lose his job at the agency because of you. he kept on walking back and forth from the couch to the door, looking through the peephole for any sign of you coming down the hallway. and just as he was about to check again, for probably the 30th time that night, he heard knocking on the door. it was you- it had to be you. after all, the only other room key had remained with him, and there was no way someone else would disturb him at this ungodly hour.

taehyun cleared his voice, erasing any sign of worry on his face before opening the door, apology already on the tip of his tongue.

"y/n, i'm sorry-" taehyun spoke as soon as he saw you in the doorway, reaching his hand out to take your purse.

"fuck off" you spat out, slapping his hand away from you. you went straight to the bathroom and locked the door, not in the mood to hear any of his excuses. you stood with your back against the door, burying your face in your hands. you felt so tired and sick of having to deal with taehyun’s attitude. but you weren't gonna let him be the one to steal the spotlight from your mission- not again.

taehyun sighed heavily in front of the door, putting his hand down from knocking, choosing to simply let you be for a while. you had all the right to be mad, and he knew that.

you took a shower to cool off, refusing to look taehyun in the eyes, or even in his direction at all, as you got ready to go to sleep.

taehyun put his finger on the lamp's button, letting out those words that had been bugging him all night "just so you know- i did go back for you today, but i couldn't find you anymore. maybe that's gonna convince you that i really meant it when i said sorry" taehyun flicked off the light, huffing, pitch black darkness taking over the room.

you stayed silent, with your back turned to him, still too stubborn to accept his apology. 'he just wants to go to bed with a clean conscience' you tried to convince yourself. ・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

you were grateful to have woken up with your own personal space, unlike your first night there. taehyun wasn’t even on his side of the bed, the sound of the water running indicating that he had already beat you to the bathroom. you turned over to the side, ready to enjoy those few minutes of peace.

“huh” you brought a hand to your face, feeling something on your forehead. it was a sticky note. you rubbed your eyes, trying to make sense of what was written on the small piece of paper.

‘there’s ice cream in the freezer’

“what...” you mumbled, how did ice cream have anything to do with- oh.

you fought back a chuckle. so, the great taehyun couldn’t find the strength to own up to his actions and say the words ‘sorry��� a second time. still, you accepted his silent apology, going over to the freezer to get your hands on the sweet treat. how could you ever say no to something free?

taehyun got out of the bathroom as you still nibbled on the ice cream sandwich, the steam and heat instantly invading the room. you looked up from the piece of food in your hand, almost dropping it once your eyes laid on him. taehyun sat in the middle of the room, chest and sculpted abs on full display with a few water droplets adoring his skin from his still dripping hair.

“what are you blushing for? it’s not the first time you’re seeing me like this” he smirked.

“idiot- it’s the heat. your shower transformed the room into a whole sauna” you meekly tried to defend yourself, not wanting to give him any satisfaction. you cursed your cheeks for reacting like this well before your mind could even comprehend the situation.

“oh- so you’re talking to me again. i take it you forgive me?” he leaned against the door.

“don’t get ahead of yourself kang taehyun” you scoffed “it’s gonna take more than just an ice cream for me to fully forgive you”

“i know, you did tell me yesterday that ‘you’re not a child’. just thought it might sweeten that sour attitude of yours” he huffed.

“whatever- let me get changed, then we’ll get in touch with irene” you said as you walked over to your suitcase to grab some clean clothes.

“i already talked to her. she said there’s nothing we have to do for the day. we just need to wait for the big event tomorrow.”

“huh- you talked to her? when?” you raised your eyebrows at him. you could swear you hadn’t heard a single sound all morning.

“yeah- while you were busy snoring” he chuckled.

you scoffed at his reply “as if you’re a saint while you’re sleeping” there he went again with his ridiculous accusations.

“well- unlike you, i haven’t received any complaints from others” he winked at you.

“really? then here’s your first one- you’re loud as hell” you slammed the bathroom door. that wink and his cocky grin were enough to bring back the annoyance he always seemed to provoke within you.

taehyun loudly knocked as you were busy brushing your teeth “how long are you gonna stay in there? i have something to ask”

you rolled your eyes, taking the toothbrush out of your mouth to reply “i’ll be out in 5 minutes” you shouted back. you didn’t know whether it was curiosity or fear taking over you from his words.

taehyun was still in front of the door when you opened it to get out.

“wanna take advantage of the activities here? it’s not like we’re paying for any of this- the agency is. plus- we have the day off anyway” taehyun shrugged his shoulders. his proposal didn’t sound bad at all. you could definitely use some sort of relaxation, your whole body was still aching from walking in heels yesterday.

you put your hands over your mouth, gasping exaggeratedly “finally, i can’t believe there’s good ideas coming out of your mouth” you were actually excited for once about one of taehyun’s suggestions. this was your chance to detach yourself from all the stress, the mission, and most importantly- him.

“when do i not have good ideas?” taehyun brought a hand to his chest. he sounded offended by your statement.

“i’m not going to answer that.” you replied shortly.

grabbing your bathrobes from the reception, you and taehyun headed towards the hotel’s spa facility. the area was filled with all sorts of natural plants and bamboo furniture, the meditation music being accompanied by the quiet sound from the mini artificial waterfall in the middle of it all. having such a packed schedule all the time, you never got any opportunities to spoil yourself in places like this. the anticipation and excitement were making your heart bubble up with joy, but your smile quickly dropped once you arrived in the massage room.

“taehyun, why didn’t you mention the hotel activities being couple activities” you hissed. standing in the doorway, you looked in terror at the swarm of lovey dovey pairs sitting on yoga mats in front of you.

“did you think i made the proposal knowing that?” he scoffed.

“well i can’t seem to understand how you overlooked such a major detail??”

“listen- the poster said couple massages. how the hell was i supposed to know that they’re making us do the work for each other? i just thought we’d both get a massage done at the same time”

“you must be the kangs, welcome” the host greeted you “come on, sit down. we were just getting started with a simple shoulder massage” she pointed to the last empty mat in the room, then motioned for you to begin.

taehyun’s eyelids fluttered shut as you awkwardly placed your hands on his shoulders, the material of the robe doing almost nothing to hide the feeling of the rock hard muscles underneath. you grimaced as you pressed your fingers down, trying to reminisce the movements you’d use while preparing pizza dough.

“you’re doing it wrong” he deadpanned, opening his eyes to make direct eye contact with you.

“shut the hell up”

you didn’t know what you were doing- yes. but were you going to admit that to taehyun? absolutely not. rolling your eyes, you continued to clumsily massage the tense muscles.

“i can’t feel a goddamn thing” he complained again.

“how about now?” you pinched his skin between your thumb and your index finger, using as much pressure as you could. taehyun’s face distorted in pain as he crumbled beneath you “for fuck’s sake-“ he grabbed your wrists, stopping you from provoking him even more suffering “how are you so bad at this?”

frustrated, you moved your hands away from his body “if you think you’re that great, why don’t you give it a shot?”

“i will give it a shot” he snarled.

the host approached the two of you just as taehyun placed his hands on you “what a lovely couple” she smiled. nudging taehyun, she whispered one more thing before walking away “remember, use your hands gently, like you’re touching the most delicate petal”

taehyun’s ears turned a bright shade of red at the sound of that. he bit his lip so hard trying not to laugh at her words, you were surprised he didn’t end up drawing blood.

“close your eyes, petal” he snickered.

you snorted at the nickname, doing as he said regardless. taehyun’s hands were surprisingly warm. he did his best mimicking the actions from the couples around you, his long slender fingers massaging your muscles with such care, you could feel all the built-up tension melting away.

“wait- this is kinda nice” you spoke quietly.

“told you so”

you hoped taehyun wouldn’t catch that, but of course, he did. you opened one eye, tempted to wipe that cocky smirk off his face. getting ahold of yourself, you chose not to, you never knew when taehyun would treat you this nicely again. you sighed, allowing yourself to enjoy the feeling. this was the least he could do to pay you back for all the headaches he had caused you so far throughout the mission.

you did make a few other attempts to give taehyun a massage, but even with the host’s instructions, he was never satisfied. in the end, he gave up, preferring to do all the work himself instead of letting you touch him again. he probably left the spa room feeling more tense than when he had arrived, the only thing bringing him some sort of consolation being the free bottle of wine at the end of the lesson- which he opened as soon as you came back to your hotel room.

after getting changed, you sat down next to taehyun on the bed, noticing only one wine filled glass on the table “aren’t you gonna share that?”

“after all the pain i’ve went through today? don’t think so” he replied before taking a sip of the crimson beverage.

“don’t be a jerk” you snapped back “i tried my best”

taehyun sighed heavily, grabbing the other clean glass in the room to pour you some of the wine. you muttered a quick ‘thanks’ before taking it from his hands, downing the liquid almost immediately.

“what the fuck are you doing” he grabbed your wrist “take it easy- our mission is tomorrow, i don’t think you want to wake up with a headache” there was a hint of worry hidden in his stern voice.

“a bit more won’t hurt- i just want to sleep well tonight” you replied. your hand was already reaching for the bottle to pour another one. taehyun simply rolled his eyes, hoping that you’d stop after the seccond glass. yet- you repeated your actions, downing the glass and going for the bottle right after. this time, taehyun snatched it away from your hands and hid it behind the bed.

“don’t ruin the fun-“ you furrowed your brows “just give me the bottle”

you stood up, towering over taehyun as you extended your arm. he wasn’t expecting you to put up such a fight, but his reflexes were sharp- he took hold of your arm quickly, making you lose your balance and stumble over him. his hand came down to your waist to hold you as you landed in his lap, not allowing you to slip away anymore. you looked at him with wide eyes, your loud heartbeat drumming against his chest. “don’t make me repeat myself” he muttered.

“or what?” you provoked him further. your eyes shifted their focus on his lips, sitting centimeters apart from yours. you had never paid attention before to how soft they looked- so soft and rosy, your mind couldn’t help but wander off and think about how they would feel on yours. taehyun seemed to become nervous underneath your gaze, his breathing became ragged, hand gripping your waist slightly tighter. he licked his lips before moving his face closer to yours, yet still not enough to fully close the gap. your eyelids fluttered shut, and he smirked at your action, his thumb coming to graze your lower lip slowly.

“or you might just make me lose myself completely” he breathed out. his gaze was still fixated on your lips, only tempting him further to give in, to let go of everything that had been holding him back until now from accepting that it wasn’t hatred he felt upon seeing you, or even hearing your name. he had been convinced that you hating him meant that he was supposed to feel the same, but he couldn’t- and he could barely even fake it anymore. especially now, when you somehow managed to completely break down his guard in mere seconds. thinking this through, taehyun chose to back away. he didn’t have the confirmation whether it was your actual feelings leading your actions, or just the alcohol in your system.

he cleared his throat, removing his hands from your body and putting that usual cold façade back on “like i’ve said, our mission is tomorrow. you should probably go to bed” his eyes didn’t meet yours when you opened them to look at him again.

your gaze shifted to the floor, you were unable to hide the underlying disappointment in your voice “yeah- you’re right”. you hesitated a bit before finally separating yourself from him, the warmth of his body gone just as the excitement that was beginning to take over your heart. you put your head down on the pillow, the sound of more wine getting poured in a glass being heard as you closed your eyes and drifted off to sleep.

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・ "your tie is lopsided, let me fix that" you walked over to taehyun. there was just one hour left until the event started. the atmosphere in the room was suffocating, to say the least.

taehyun scoffed upon hearing that "i can definitely do a better job than you" yet, he didn't make any movement to stop you from touching him or his clothes “everything is just a competition for you… isn’t it?” you said bitterly, your eyes were fixated on his chest, his tie in your hand. 

“isn’t it for you, too?” taehyun asked. he immediately regretted his question, the words seemed to roll off his tongue as an automatic response. he peered into your eyes, although he was hesitant to hear your answer. you paused for a moment before continuing, refusing to look up and meet his gaze "maybe i don't want it to be anymore"

you went back to the mirror, trying to look busy as you "fixed" your makeup, although you had already ensured it was perfect with each step you did.

taehyun didn't say anything to that. it wasn't the time he could let himself be swayed by his emotions. you were both at the peak of your mission, where high attention was demanded and no mistakes were allowed to be made. he cleared his throat before speaking, trying to change the conversation from the sensitive topic "you look good" "thanks" you looked down, playing a bit more with the lipstick in your hand before stuffing it in your purse "we should go" "yeah- we should" he repeated after you, grabbing the spare card for your hotel room.

the entire venue was filled with well-known people from the political field, as well as celebrities. the event had been long planned to celebrate the president’s birthday. however, he started to have a rising suspicion that someone was after him, wanting to backstab him so that they could steal his position, which is how you got into the play. your team was able to pinpoint the enemy’s plan of action due to their sloppy preparation. they talked freely around Élysée Palace about their intention, completely unaware of the mics hidden all around the building. they were going to infiltrate the office and place a bomb there, wiping out the president without putting themselves at much risk.

being nervous was an understatement. it’s been long since you’ve been assigned such an important mission- way too long. the fact that you didn’t know whether you were going to make direct contact with the enemy didn’t help either.

taehyun seemed to be glued to your side, not letting you go once. he held you by the waist the whole time you were walking around, searching for your table. his eyes were trained on you, not allowing the disgusting rich men in the room to think that they can lay a finger on you, not even for one second.

“why do you keep on holding me so close?” you wondered aloud.

“we need to act like a couple- did you forget that again?”

“that doesn’t mean i’m not allowed to walk on my own” you said trying to break yourself free yourself from his grip. but taehyun stopped you before you could fully do so, he grabbed your wrist, bringing your back flushed against his chest. he dipped down to whisper in your ear “sweetheart, let’s not make a scene now- shall we?” he twirled you around, swaying your body to the rhythm of the music to disguise your actions as natural.

“now- let’s discuss. when do you want to put our plan into action?” he leaned down to whisper once again. his voice sent shivers down your spine.

“not yet- we haven’t been here for long and leaving so early would raise suspicion” you muttered.

“then- how about a drink?” taehyun brought you closer, not breaking eye contact with you.

you nodded “a drink sounds good” just like the ‘massage’, there was no way you could turn down something you didn’t have to pay for yourself.

taehyun spun you around once more before heading off to the bar. you continued the search for your table, settling down on one of the chairs as you waited for him.

“what is a princess like you doing all alone?” a sleazy man approached you, reeking of sweat and alcohol. your senses were instantly on high alert, you were praying that taehyun wouldn’t take much longer to return.

“i’m not alone- i’m just waiting for someone” you tried to dismiss him, hoping that he would walk away and leave you alone. but a man’s confidence seems to skyrocket when they drink, so of course, he didn’t back down so easily.

“say, why won’t you have a drink with me while you wait?” his hand was in motion, inching closer to touch your shoulder. it abruptly stopped upon hearing a voice from behind him.

“i’m afraid i’ve already taken care of that, sir” taehyun settled down the drinks on the table before occupying the empty chair next to you. he noticed from far away how uncomfortable you looked and he rushed to get back to you, almost spilling the drinks in the process.

he placed one of his hands on your knee, trying to give the man a subtle hint that he should give up and leave you alone.

“i’m sure one more drink wouldn’t hurt? right, miss?” he continued.

taehyun clicked his tongue, increasingly annoyed by his presence “i’m pretty sure it would, though”

the man’s smile was wiped off his face as soon as taehyun said that, his hand gripped his bottle of beer tighter “why won’t you let her answer, hm?”

you were unsure what to do- you wanted to get rid of him, but you didn’t want to anger him further either. you weren’t supposed to draw any kind of attention towards yourselves, if this were to turn into a big argument, it could damage your mission badly. taehyun’s hand on your knee felt reassuring. at the same time, it made your heart skip a beat whenever he gave it a light squeeze.

“what if i search for you once i finish this first, would that be good?” you did your best fake smile, so that he wouldn’t see directly through your lie. somehow, that answer was good enough for him. he nodded, smiled, then walked away.

taehyun slumped into the chair, taking a sip of the cognac he ordered.

“thank you” you spoke softly “you came just at the right moment”

taehyun’s ears turned red at that “now maybe you understand why i wasn’t letting you go before” he played with the glass in his hand. you bit your lip and nodded, taking a sip of the drink yourself. taehyun had good taste.

you both settled for analysing your surroundings as you drank, making small remarks here and there about the people around you. however, once your glasses were empty, taehyun could already notice the same man approaching your table again. he got up abruptly, taking your wrist and tugging you along with him.

“hey- what’s gotten into you?” you asked. you couldn’t figure out the expression he had on his face, nor his actions. taehyun loudly knocked on the bathroom door. upon hearing no answer, he dragged you in, locking the door after him “weren’t you the one saying that we shouldn’t make a scene?”

“and what was i supposed to do? sit there and watch as he tried to touch you again?” he huffed.

“why are you acting like this? maybe i wouldn’t have minded having a drink with another man” you provoked him further. that wasn’t actually the case- the quick lie slipped past your lips in the heat of the moment, as you were curious to see where he was going to end up with this.

"oh really?" taehyun pressed his tongue against his cheek, crossing his arms. he took a step closer towards you, to which, at first, you chose not to react.

"yes, really."

you tried to sound confident as you talked, but taehyun took note of your pursed lips “you know, lying doesn't suit you, sweetheart." he took another step towards you then another- until you had no choice but to take a few steps back yourself, not stopping until your back hit the wall.

“you know what? i don’t get you-“ you snapped “and i’m tired of trying to figure you out” you pressed a finger to his chest, letting out all those pent-up frustrations that had been tormenting you for the past few days “you keep on giving me these mixed signals- your actions never seem to match your words. how do you even think i felt today? or after last night? do you even care about that?”

you chuckled drily as taehyun remained silent. “why won’t you just give me a clear answer?” your gaze dropped to the floor "if you had the guts, kang taehyun, you would have kissed me"

taehyun's eyes looked sharp, he inched closer to you, bringing your chin up with his hand so that he could look directly into your eyes "you think something is stopping me from doing that right now?" he tilted his head and smirked, slight amusement hidden in his voice.

"then do it" you said firmly, pushing him over the edge.

taehyun slipped his other hand on the small of your back, holding you close so that he could press his mouth on yours, hot and heavy. he wasted no time to lick your lips with his tongue, silently asking for permission to deepen the kiss. you opened your mouth for him, the feeling of his lips and tongue even more intoxicating than the alcohol that you had consumed earlier that night. he lifted one of your legs up, letting his fingers dance along the bare skin that was revealed once your dress slid up with the movement. your body felt hot all over, you hadn't even known how badly you were craving for his touch until you got to experience it. you clasped your hands behind his neck, then dragged them along his back, slightly scratching it with your nails. taehyun groaned at the feeling, hoisting your other leg up as well so that you could wrap them both around his waist. he moved on to your neck, biting at the skin in a slightly hidden area. it was just enough to remind that man and all those other people lurking after you tonight that you were only his. he carried you over to the sink, putting you on the edge of the counter there so that he could have better access to your neck.

there was knocking on the door, followed by the rattling of the doorknob.

"tae-"

taehyun put his index finger over your lips, shushing you as he covered you whole in kisses: your neck, your collarbones, your chest, all the way down to the valley of your breasts, the area exposed by the cleavage of your dress.

"they'll leave" he spoke against your skin.

the image of a ticking clock crossing your mind every now and then filled you with worry and pressure "we should leave too-" taehyun pressed his finger over your lips once more.

"tae-" you breathed out again "-the mission"

"just a bit more” he whispered “there's still time" he looked up at you, those big eyes of his, filled to the brim with desire, pleaded you to let him continue. you grabbed the collar of his shirt, connecting your lips with his again. you sighed in contentment, letting him take control over the kiss. soft gasps and wet lips, his warm mouth on your skin- you got lost into it all, not caring for one second whether your hair or your dress were turning into a mess.

you could barely bring yourself to stop, and when you did, it felt like your cheeks had been set on fire. you hid your face in the crook of taehyun’s neck, breathing heavily against his skin as your brain finally processed what had just happened between the two of you.

you kissed kang taehyun

no-

you made out- with kang taehyun

and you enjoyed it.

in fact, you enjoyed it so much you seriously contemplated ditching the event just to feel his lips on yours for a few moments more.

the rational part of you was stronger “come on- we have a mission to complete” you pressed a quick peck on taehyun’s lips. he smiled, taking his time to fix your appearance before holding your hand and reaching for the door.

“let’s do it” he breathed out.

you sneaked past the security guards and reached the hallway towards the office. you wished you could have collaborated with them, but there was no way you could have known whether the person betraying the president was one of them or not, and you didn’t feel like risking your cover.

your hand reached towards the doorknob, wanting to check whether the door was locked or not. taehyun spoke right before you touched it.

“don’t- it’s dangerous, the bomb could be on the door”

you slowly retracted your hand. you didn’t think this through, and quickly jumped into action. taehyun was right, and you had to find a way to test his theory right before making another attempt at getting in.

you used some of the gadgets irene bought for you, making a small hole inside the wall and pushing through an extendable stick with a camera to look inside.

bingo.

the bomb was placed flushed against the door. had taehyun not stopped you before, you would have both been dead in an instant.

“seems like we’ll have to find another way in” you muttered.

taehyun eyed the outside window “how are your wall climbing skills?”

“not bad at all” you offered to go first, it was probably your best shot for now.

the distance between this window and the one in the office wasn’t that long either, you were just hoping that there weren’t any curious eyes looking up at the building from the garden.

melting away the lock on the window, you succeeded to get in. taehyun followed right after you, jumping inside. the bomb didn’t have a timer on it, the wire connected to the doorknob was what would made it go off. you had to give this one to them, it was pretty smart- this way, they ensured that they had less chances of missing their target.

“any updates?” irene’s voice was heard from your ear piece.

“yeah- we’re in. the enemy’s plan isn’t so bad after all, they just organised it poorly”

“that’s great- but you need to hurry up. you don’t have much time until the guy checking the security cameras alerts the other guards”

“got it” you replied

“so no pressure at all” taehyun laughed as he searched for the necessary tools. the bomb wasn’t unlike anything else you’ve seen before. the only thing you needed to do was follow the procedure carefully, so as not to miss any steps.

taehyun took it upon himself to do it, even though you were both in just as much danger anyway. you helped him out as much as you could, reassuring him that he followed all the steps in the right order and giving him new tools whenever he needed to switch.

“shit-“ you could hear heavy footsteps going up the stairs “they’re onto us, you need to hurry”

“hang on- i’m almost done” taehyun tried his best to remain calm, he couldn’t have his hands trembling at this very moment.

“you either show yourselves, or we’ll have no choice but to barge in” a male voice shouted from behind the door. they were definitely not alone.

“2 more wires” he whispered.

you were growing impatient, but you bit your tongue trying to remain silent, taehyun had to remain concentrated.

“we’ll take your silence as an answer” the man shouted again before starting a countdown.

3, 2, 1-

the door was busted down from its shackles.

the guards remained silent as they were met with...an empty room?

you and taehyun barely managed to make it out on time, and you were now holding your breath as you clung onto the outside wall again. you entered the building through another window from the floor beneath you before they had a chance to inspect the area and potentially see you.

after making sure you were in a safe zone, you reached out to irene again: “we’re done here- we’ll send you that fucker’s fingerprints”

“excellent”

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

taehyun called the reception as you were taking a cab back to the hotel. he requested 2 bottles of wine for you to drink as a form of celebration. you couldn’t wait to lie down and drink to your heart’s content.

so now- here you were, you sitting in taehyun’s lap as he tried his best not to laugh in your face at your drunken words and actions. it seemed like you couldn’t handle alcohol that well when you were exhausted.

“can you kiss me again?” you asked quietly, closing your eyes before you could even notice his reaction. taehyun was taken aback by your sudden proposal, but nevertheless, fondness took over his eyes in an instant. he cupped your cheeks, bringing your face closer to him until your noses were touching. then, he opted for pressing a soft kiss on the corner of your lips, to which you opened your eyes, cheeks burning at the small gesture. “god- you’re making me go crazy” he spoke softly against your lips. his hand took hold of your wrist, leaving a tender kiss on your pulse point “let’s get you to bed”

you shook your head, dipping your head down to bury your face in his chest as you hugged him tightly. silence filled up the room for a moment before you finally spoke again “maybe it was supposed to be like this from the beginning.” your voice was slightly muffled as you refused to move away from your spot. taehyun ran his hands through your hair “…like what?”

“i don’t know. maybe we were never supposed to hate each other" those words rolled off your tongue softly, your eyes getting heavier with each passing second.

taehyun tucked a few strands behind your ear. your words tugged at his heart, and it was like something clicked for the both of you as you voiced out your drunken thoughts. it was stupid-so stupid. all this time, you had both been too caught up in the high created by all the praises and achievements. you were taught to eliminate any kind of obstacle that came your way whenever you set a goal, you forgot to look at each other as just...humans. sure, the pride that bloomed in your chest whenever you successfully cleared yet another mission felt good, but has that ever felt as good as taehyun's touch? his lips on yours, rough hands enveloping yours as a silent sign of care and reassurance, arms circling your waist to keep you close, to keep you safe. you never paid much attention to human relationships, and perhaps that was the reason why, once you stepped foot into your empty apartment, once the cheers died down, you had never felt truly satisfied with your life.

hearing the sound of light snores coming from beneath him, taehyun looked down to find you already fast asleep in his lap. “cute” he chuckled, secretly taking out his phone for a pic, the corners of his mouth turning up at the thought of teasing you about it tomorrow. he slowly detangled your hand that was holding on to his shirt tightly, then lifted you up to carry you over to your side of the bed. he frowned upon noticing that you never had the chance to take off your dress. diverting his eyes as much as he could, taehyun took it off for you, blushing as he slid one of his shirts over your head. he didn't want to invade your privacy, he just wished you could rest comfortably after experiencing such a draining day.

“sleep well, y/n” taehyun pressed a kiss against your temple before getting underneath the covers himself. he sighed in contentment as he brought himself closer to you, your soft rhythmic breaths and warm body putting his own at ease.

taglist: @huekalover3000

[veltana]

Mutual Satisfaction - Avengers!Bucky x Avengers!Reader

✦ Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader

✦ Word count: ~3k

✦ Rating: Explicit

✦ Warnings: One shot, pwp, A LOT of dirty talk, dom/sub dynamics, dom!Bucky, sub!reader, manhandling, piv, slight dumbification, pet names (angel/master), safe sex, condoms, cum shot, aftercare, fluff (because I neeeeed it!)

✦ Summary: "Was it because of what I said," he leans forward to whisper into your ear. The warmth of his body pressing against yours even though he's not touching you. "Did your tiny little brain think of all the ways I could fuck you until you're a mess?"

✦ Note: This is nothing but pure self-indulgent smut, that's heavily dialogue-based. Let me know if you like it! (It's also posted on AO3)

Masterlist | AO3

The chime from your phone makes you look away from the TV screen.

"Sorry, one sec."

You find it buried under some pillows but the excitement you initially felt quickly turns sour when you see the response. With a sigh of disappointment, you drop it and return to choosing a movie together with Bucky.

"Bad news?" he asks as he flips through the list.

"Yup," you conclude.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"It's honestly nothing, just scheduling issues."

"With your boyfriend?" He wiggles his eyebrows.

"He's not my boyfriend. We just sleep together," you point out.

"I'm sure you can find someone else, you're an avenger now. Bet they're lining up to get a chance with you," Bucky shrugs.

You scrunch your nose. "I'm tired of being disappointed. I'd rather wait and have my needs met, even if it's frustrating."

"That long huh?"

"Between all the missions and not being free at the same time, it's been months."

"Yeah, same." Bucky murmurs and stops on a movie. "What about this one?"

"Yeah, sure."

You settle down against the numerous pillows you have been bringing to Bucky's room since you started having these movie nights a couple of months ago. His TV is bigger and his couch is much softer than yours. Plus the two of you fit comfortably on this one, with enough room for both to stretch out.

"So why won't just a regular guy do it for you?" Bucky asks and takes a fist of popcorn, stuffing it in his mouth.

Shrugging you say "I need someone I can trust, with my body and my mind. Takes a lot of talking in the beginning, but now it's almost as good as therapy for getting out of my head."

"Don't like thinking?"

"Not during sex. I just need someone else to make decisions for me, use me however they like. Not ask me what I want, just flip me over, make me come until I can't see straight, and fuck me until they're satisfied. If I pick someone up at a bar, all they do is slap my ass and finish a minute later."

Both of you are silent and watch the movie before you ask.

"What about you?"

"Look at me," he chuckles. "The metal arm scares the majority and the ones that are left usually can't handle what I want."

"And what do you want?"

"Control, over something, someone. Watching as they go dumber and dumber the more orgasms I can force from them. Until they can't speak. Just owning their warm body for a moment, taking as long as I need because they don't want to be anywhere else than on my cock," Bucky laughs.

The laugh gets stuck in your throat because there is no denying Bucky's words have an impact on you. Hopefully, he doesn't notice and you refuse to move and rub your thighs together. Then you both continue to watch the movie, but it's hard to concentrate. All you imagine is Bucky using your body and finally getting the release that you've been longing for. How much would it fuck up the team dynamic if you started sleeping together? You force yourself to watch the movie and not entertain those thoughts anymore.

Two hours later, after the table has been cleaned off, you're heading for the door, mind already back in your own room and the toys you'll undoubtedly need to take care of yourself to be able to sleep. Then you feel a hand on your wrist, and in a flash, you’re pinned with your back against the door, Bucky's hand securely holding both your arms above your head. You're not sure if the breath that leaves your lungs is because the force pushes it out of you or because you're instantly so turned on. Either way, there is no denying the impact his closeness has.

"So, are you going to tell me what you've been thinking about the whole movie?" There is a knowing smirk on his lips.

"What? Nothing? I was watching it."

"Don't play dumb with me, you were far off somewhere else for most of the time."

You swallow hard, opening and closing your mouth a few times. It's embarrassing that you've been on his couch, thinking lewd thoughts about him when you're not even that close—something between coworkers and friends.

"Was it because of what I said," he leans forward to whisper into your ear. The warmth of his body pressing against yours even though he's not touching you. "Did your tiny little brain think of all the ways I could fuck you until you're a mess?"

A whine crawls up your throat unbidden and you turn your head to the side, shame making your ears warm.

"All you have to do is ask," he prompts. "Or tell me to let you go and we can pretend this never happened."

The last thing is out of the question. You just need to work up enough courage to tell him what you need. Everything about him pierces your senses, making you high of his smell, touch, and sound.

In the end, all you can come up with is, "Bucky please." And bucking your hips up in the hope of finding some friction for your throbbing core.

But he just makes an unimpressed sound.

"No, you have to do better than that." Then he pauses and uses his free hand to turn your head until you're looking into his blue eyes.

"We'll go over everything properly before next time," his voice is calm and to the point. Making it clear he expects you to listen. "But right now I think we need each other. We'll use traffic lights or you'll tell me if it's too rough or too much. Understand?"

"Yes Bucky," you answer.

He releases your face and your arms, placing his hands on either side of your head instead. With a smile that makes you wetter than you already are, he says, "Good girl. Now do a better job at begging."

He is effectively displaying his whole body for you and in seconds you have your palms on his chest, caressing carefully up and down, feeling his corded muscles beneath the fabric of his t-shirt.

"Bucky please," you beg in a delicate voice. "I need you to touch me. I want to feel you everywhere. Please help me come, it hurts so bad."

His pupils dilate, almost eclipsing the blue in his eyes. Then he presses his knee up between your legs, lifting you off the ground enough that only the tip of your toes reaches the floor.

"Here, use my leg and hump it. We'll see what you deserve after that."

Oh, he's got a mean streak, you realize, and you're all for it. Wiggling on his thigh to get a better position you grab a hold of his shoulders to steady yourself and try to move. It's difficult and not nearly enough to get you where you wish but you're absolutely enjoying the way he's playing with you and speaking to you.

"Look at the innocent little angel using my leg. What else can I make you do to get off huh?"

With a whine you work faster, chasing something barely there.

"Something you'll learn very quickly, little angel, is that I don't share, but I do like showing off my property. Let everyone see but not let anyone touch."

"Yes!" you moan. "I'll be anything you need, just help me, please Bucky!"

"I'll hold you to that," he promises. Suddenly his knee is gone but instead, his body is pressed hard against yours and his lips descend. The kiss is filthy and needy, your hands grab onto his head, trying to get more of him even though he's already as close as he can come. You suck on his tongue and lips and he does the same to you, before mouthing his way over your jaw and down your neck, nipping and sucking. His beard pricks you but it's a mild discomfort to the one between your legs.

A string of needy noises tumble out of your mouth and you're about to start begging again but right then he lifts you and turns around, heading over to his large bed. As your body touches the sheets his hands start pulling at your clothes and you do the same to him. Moments later both of your are naked on the bed, making out like horny teenagers, rutting mindlessly against each other. His fingers find your hard clit, gently circling it a few times before dipping into the wetness at your opening. You mewl into his mouth in delight, thinking he's going to start filling you with his fingers, but instead, he spreads the slick back up to your clit and starts flicking it slowly.

Throwing your head back you moan his name loudly, no thoughts if you can be heard through the walls, everything is focused on the way he's touching you. His mouth finds your nipple and you get impossibly hotter and wetter. The months-long dry spell quickly catches up to you. Bucky fingers are expertly playing with you, never too hard or too light, hurling you towards the climax.

"Can I cum Bucky? Please can I cum?!"

His laugh tickles your skin, his fingers slow and he looks up at you.

"Yes, you can this time, just because you asked so nicely."

His fingers gather more of your wetness before picking up speed again. The band in your stomach quickly snaps and you scream out your release, blabbering "Thank you-thank you-thank you!"

Without getting a second to breathe you're flipped onto your stomach, then his hands lift your hips and you fold your knees in under you.

"Grab me a condom in the drawer angel," he directs and with unsteady hands and a complaining whine you open the drawer and rummage around until you find a square package.

"Don't whine when I'm trying to do the right thing," he growls and smacks your ass. "I know a little slut like you wants to be pumped full of cum until you're dripping." He leans down over you until his mouth is next to your ear, his raw dick rubbing against your sensitive cunt. Plucking the condom from your fingers he whispers, "You'll have to earn my cum, angel."

A jolt of pleasure-filled electricity shoots through you, just imagining yourself on your knees in front of him, doing anything he asks.

"I'll do anything, master," the name slips out by pure habit. "I'll be good, let you use me in any way you like, any hole. Anything to earn your cum, please, master."

A groan can be heard from behind together with the sound of the foil being torn open. Impatiently you wiggle your ass, arching your back even more, presenting yourself. In reward you get several more slaps, making you cry out as the pain shoots straight to your cunt.

"Oh, angel, keep talking sweet like that and you'll earn yourself another orgasm."

His dick notches at your opening and you still obediently. Both of you moan in unison as he presses inside. He's clearly on the bigger side but there is hardly any resistance since you're dripping with slick. In moments you're fuller than you've been in months, clawing at the sheets in front of you.

"Good girl, taking me so fucking well," his hands spread your cheeks. "I wish you could see how your greedy little pussy is swallowing me."

"Wa-want it, master, want it so much, feels so good!"

A wail leaves you as he starts pistoning his hips into you. If it weren't for the fact that he also pulls your hips back towards him every time, you'd end up with your head in the wall.

"Give me your hands," he instructs and you put them behind your back quickly, folding them and gripping your underarms. His vibranium hand closes around both your wrists while the other grabs your hair, pulling your head back.

You love his harsh grip on you, how he does what he wants with your body while he fucks you. All you can do is moan and whine and cry as he thrusts without any sign of slowing down any time soon. Usually around this time your FWB is about to come, and even though you're always satisfied in the end, sometimes you wish for more. The serum in his veins must give him superhuman stamina when it comes to everything.

Without warning he releases your hair and pulls hard on your arms, raising your body from the bed, his free hand coming round to grab your neck.

"Color?" He grunts, never missing a beat with his hips.

"Green! Bucky it's fucking green. Please! More!"

"You dirty little slut! Can't get enough of my cock huh?"

"No, master, want it always!" You cry.

"That's fucking right, god you feel so good. Next time I'm going to fuck you raw and watch the cum pour out of your pussy. How about right before Tony's big party? Put you in a short little dress with no panties so everyone can see my cum running down your legs."

The image of yourself, flustered and embarrassed while Bucky parades you around makes you keen, pushing back against him. You are nothing but his toy, he can do whatever he wants and you would gladly say 'Yes, master.'

The incessant need to come makes your legs weak, trembling from being held up and fucked within an inch of your life.

"Master, can I come? Your dick feels so good, can I please come on it?"

Releasing your wrists, his vibranium arm comes around your waist, pulling you flush with his chest before traveling down to your aching clit.

"This what you need, angel?"

The unrelenting metal against the softest part of your flesh pulls more desperate sounds from you as you try to rock against it, the pleasure eating you up from the inside, erasing every trace of cognitive thought. When you don’t answer he chuckles next to your ear, "I think my cock has made you dumb, angel. No thoughts left in that tiny little head of yours."

Your hands land on his arm, needing something to hold onto. He hasn’t permitted you yet, the orgasm is shimmering right underneath your skin, threatening to break through any second. The only thing you know is that you don’t want to disappoint him.

"My angel is doing so good, go ahead and come for me, make sure you scream my name when you do. Let everyone hear that this cunt belongs to me."

Instead of continuing with his fingers, his whole palm lands on your clit, a few slaps that don’t hurt in the slightest, only enhancing your pleasure, before the heel of his hand presses against your clit.

"Come on, show me how you look when you let go. Be a good little angel for me, come on my cock."

In a blinding light of pleasure, you scream his name, just like he wants, bending your head until it rests against his shoulder, shuddering and shaking from the release.

"Looking beautiful my little angel, so fucking pretty, strangling my cock." He hugs you tightly towards him for a second before pushing you forward. Your arms only cushion the fall lightly, there is no strength left in your body. Looking over your shoulder you see his eyes, blazing with lust, his mouth slightly open. Then he pulls out and you watch him tear the condom off, jerking himself, and with a loud groan of your name he finishes on your ass and back. As the spurts of cum hit your skin you close your eyes and sigh in contentment. Owned. Used. Satisfied for the first time in months.

With a giggle you fall to the side, uncaring if you're messing up his sheets. He lands on his back in front of you a moment later, chest still heaving.

"That was…" he begins, turning his head towards you with a small smile. Before continuing he rolls over on his side, reaching and pulling you in towards his naked chest, tilting your head up, and placing a small chaste kiss on your lips.

"Amazing? Wonderful? Mind-blowing?" you suggest with a smile to finish his sentence.

"All of the above angel."

For a couple of minutes, you lie there, just content with what just happened, before Bucky says,

"Come on, we need to clean you up."

He stands from the bed and picks you up with no effort, carrying you to the small bathroom and turning on the shower. Carefully he places you down on the tile and the warm spray is a harsh contrast to the cold sweat that has dried on your skin.

"How do you feel?"

Your only response is a happy humming noise that makes him smile, before he reaches for a bottle of shower gel. He makes you turn around, leaning your arms against the wall as he begins to clean you. His touch is firm as he washes your back and ass, giving you a light massage before he moves on to the rest of your body. Then you help him, even if what you do is mostly smear suds over his pecs. When he's done the both of you stand under the warm spray.

"Any immediate soreness?" He asks.

"No," you sigh happily. "Might feel something tomorrow, but we'll see then."

He finds you a clean towel afterward and dries you off, before handing you a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers. Without questioning you put them on.

Fortunately, the sheets have minimal staining and both of you are too exhausted to care about changing them. Suddenly you realize you've just fucked Bucky and now you're staying in his bed for the night, with your head resting on his chest.

"What is this Bucky?" you mumble, even as sleep is dragging you down.

"Whatever you want it to be, angel, we'll work out the details in the morning," he assures you.

And if the other people at the compound heard you the night before, or notice that you're wearing one of Bucky's t-shirts to breakfast the next day, nobody says a word.

[lincolndjarin]

Best Kept Secret

chapter twenty four : lunar interlude : riduur

ao3 link ✿ series masterlist ✩ main masterlist ✧

pairing : bodyguard!Din Djarin x afab!princess!reader

rating : 18+ mdni

word count : 7.8k (at last, a normal chapter length)

summary : din is so in love it's obscene at this point, keep it in your chest man (it being his heart.)

warnings, etc. : language, fluff, smut, this chapter is a sappy nightmare,,, like i've got one last chance to be sappy before i need to do my action packed finale so this is just me being sappy, din djarins so in love it makes me sick, fingering, p in v, clit stim, reverse cowgirl, creampie, cockwarming, massages, just general happiness like why are these idiots so happy what is their problem

a/n : WOOF this took a fucking WHILE to get out, and for those who waited, prepare to be UNDERWHELMED lmao. this is the last chapter before the final arc of the story and i was feeling rather sentimental while I wrote it. anyhow,,, i have a million excuses for why this took so long but like who cares cause it's here now yippee!!! as for every chapter i've ever posted i have no idea if i like this or not so there's that, i kind of hate this one the way i hate every lunar interlude, like i've never written a din pov and felt good about it lmao so i guess we'll see. comments and reblogs are appreciated <3

He doesn’t deserve this.

How could he possibly be deserving of you? Yet somehow you make him feel as if he is. With your soft touch and the way your eyes get just a little bigger when you see him. 

He’s going to ask you to marry him.

Is that something he can do? 

Technically of course you don’t really consider yourself married as far as he can tell. Sure you have a husband but that’s all he is, a husband. 

An obstacle. 

The two of you could still be married. 

And you wanted to leave this place. So he was going to give you exactly that. 

A home, far away from here. 

He pulls you into the cabin, wanting nothing more than for you to see the smile on his face. Of course you won’t let him do that much to his confusion. 

Maybe if you’re married to him you’ll look. 

The longer you wait the more nervous he gets about it. 

A lot can go wrong with this kind of thing. 

Very specifically, you could just not find him attractive in the slightest, which wouldn’t be great all things considered. If that happened maybe he could just live with the helmet on and you’d be okay with that. 

“Do you want to sleep here tonight or go back to the castle?” You look exhausted as he asks, he practically carries you towards the bed. 

“Here’s fine.” You look too tired to walk back anyway. 

He drags the mattress off of the busted frame, setting it on the floor. You seem surprised that he didn’t have a bigger reaction to your love confession. 

He did the first time you’d said it a few days ago. 

After the first day stuck in your room, you had said it that night. All you had wanted to do that day was fight and he hadn’t been able to give you even that. He knew you were right. It was stupid to stay. 

Even if things are okay now. 

You had said his name so clearly with such urgency that he believed you might be about to start another argument in the middle of the night.

“Din?” You had grabbed the front of his shirt and it wasn’t until he’d tried to talk to you that he’d realized you were still asleep. 

“Are you okay, sarad?” He sat up and cradled your head in his hands but you’d only held on tighter as you mumbled in your sleep.

“I love you.” And just like that you were collapsing back in his arms, still asleep as if nothing had happened. 

He hadn’t cried like he did that night since the kid left. 

And it didn’t matter when you didn’t say it back in the morning. (Despite the fact that he had said it quite a bit.) You loved him and he knew it. And he had made sure to show you just how much he loved you on that second day. 

He grins as you sit down on the bed with a yawn. He takes it upon himself to kneel beside you, unlacing the back of your gown. You have no resistance as he helps peel the rain soaked fabric from your skin. 

“Let me get you a change of clothes.” He leaves you to get out of the rest as he finds you a simple set of sleep wear. You let him redress you until he finally lays you down and stands, going to change out of his own wet clothes. 

When he steps out of the fresher you’ve turned the lights off he's in a clean flight suit with his helmet on as he slides under the blankets with you. 

“Warm enough?” The cabin feels colder than the castle as he pulls you closer. 

“I’m perfectly comfortable here.” Your voice is heavy with sleep as he rests his chin on the top of your head, beskar bumping against your hair. 

“Get some sleep.” He mumbles, not bothering to close his own eyes. 

“You promised you’d eat the candy.” You whisper into the darkness, you sound  barely conscious. 

“I did not.” At least he’s pretty sure he didn’t, he’s realized at this point that if he says anything with enough confidence you usually believe it. 

“You alluded to it.” You’re right, he probably did. 

“Do you really want to see the damage I would do after eating that thing?” He’ll never do it. In all honesty he’s a little nervous he’ll accidentally hurt you.

“A little.” You flip over in his arms so you’re facing him now, when you look at him he finds himself falling victim to the pleading look in your eyes. Damn nightvision. 

“Go to sleep.” He has to close his eyes, if he stares at you too long he’ll give in despite his own worries. “I love you.” He murmurs. He needs you to know it. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” You laugh softly before going silent. 

It only takes a few more minutes before your breathing gets quiet and steady against him. 

When he’s certain you’re asleep he reaches over to turn the lamp back on. You’d think with how often he does this that you’d have seen his face on accident at some point but maybe he’s just really lucky. 

He likes to look at you without the helmet on.

It’s fine with it, but nothing compares to seeing you without the barrier. Sometimes, if he’s still wearing the helmet and he takes it off you smile in your sleep when the airlock hisses. But since you’re insistent on not looking he doesn’t get a lot of opportunities to really look at you. So he does it on nights like these. 

You get so sleepy after sex. 

So he gets to hold you, and watch how your eyes flutter open the tiniest bit when he can’t help himself and kisses your cheeks until he can bring himself to sleep. Or how you mumble back to him when he whispers things to you in Mando’a. 

Most importantly you look less worried when you sleep. You always look so worried but not when you’re like this. There is plenty to be worried about so he can’t hold it against you. 

He’s going to build you a house someday. And he’s going to give you a garden. 

So you can go outside and look at the flowers whenever you want. 

And you won’t ever have to worry again. 

With a soft hiss of air he removes his helmet, setting it somewhere in the sheets as he looks at you, unburdened. He likes the way your lips part just a little bit as the corners of your mouth lift. 

He leans forward, pressing a kiss to your cheek before rolling over to rest his head on your chest so he can feel you breathe until he falls asleep, it helps him to match your breathing. Your hands hold him, even in your sleep you run your hands across his back and shoulders. One time you had a nightmare and you pulled his hair so hard you’d woke yourself up. But he’d never complain, it’s one of his favorite things about you. You love him even when you’re sleeping. Like right now, your nails lighty scratch at the nape of his neck. 

It helps him sleep.

☆

When he wakes up he’s got a blanket thrown over his head and you’re already up, sitting at the table.

“You fell asleep without your helmet on.” He hears you grumble. 

“Sorry.” He chuckles as he searches for it in the mess of sheets only to find you’d set it on the floor beside him. Once it’s properly in place he finds you reading. He stands behind you, looking over your shoulder. 

“How did you find that?” He tries to grab the translation book but you swat his hand away. 

“You said we had no secrets.” Your eyes are scanning the pages. “Ner means mine.” You grin up at him as you say it. 

“Yes, it does.” He stares right back down at you. 

You lean backwards, grabbing the front of his shirt. 

“Ner.” 

Would you think less of him if you knew how often his face turned red when you spoke to him like that? A few weeks ago that kind of worry would drive him mad, but now? He knows you wouldn’t mind, knowing you'd probably feel accomplished to get such a reaction from him. 

“Gar serim.” You’re right. He murmurs back before getting your things together, listening to the sound of the pages frantically flipping behind him as you look for the words.

When you find the page you give him a dopey smile 

He suddenly remembers something, going to the fresher and searching through last night's wet clothes he finds the vial, bringing it to you, you don’t need any instruction from him as you pop the cap off, drinking the contents before setting it aside. 

“What do you want to do today?” He holds up the scraps of your dress, trying to decide if it’s even worth putting back on. 

“I’m a little tired, maybe we could read today.” You turn just in time to watch him toss it back on the ground. 

“Sounds perfect.” This will give him some much needed time to think.

He has a plan for today. There are a few things that he needs to get done before he leaves.

Like tell you that he has to leave. 

Of course he doesn’t want to leave you, even if it’s only going to be for a few days, but he wants to do this the right way and to do that he needs to leave. 

Just a few days. And then he doesn’t have to leave you ever again. 

And he needs to get away from you long enough to make the failsafe he knows you don’t want. You’re always together at this point, (not that he would have it any other way.) so it won’t be easy to find time away to do it but he’ll figure it out. 

“We should get going.” He’s pretty sure he has everything he needs and you need to be back in your room before any staff might notice you’re gone. 

“But  I wanna keep doing this.” You give him your sad eyes as you gesture to the book and he’s already ready to give in. 

“You can bring that to the library.” He groans and that’s all the convincing needed to get you on your feet. He manages to get you back to your room just before the girls arrive. He stands where he’s expected to stand out in the hall. It’s the only time he really spends away from you. 

When the door opens he instinctively stands up a little straighter.

They put you in a white dress. 

A pretty white dress. 

Did you know what this would do to him? 

You can’t possibly know the effect this kind of thing has on him, if you did you wouldn’t put him through this. 

“Ready?” He says as he peers at the translation book still happily tucked under your arm.

“Of course.” He’s mesmerized by your gown, it’s simpler than the ones they normally do you up in, white fabric flowing off your shoulders down to the floor, as you walk it trails behind you a bit. It’s a familiar quiet as he walks you to those large wooden doors, opening them as you rush inside. 

“What do you want to read today?” You’re searching around the shelves, you’ve already set your own reading in the nook. 

“Surprise me.” He won’t be reading today anyway, he needs to plan. 

“Here.” You hand him a book on speeder maintenance, normally he’d be thrilled to spend the day reading the sort of thing but he really should just take today to think. 

He sits first. Leaving space between his legs for you to sit which you happily do. Once you’re settled he opens his book, pretending to read as he lets his mind focus on what's important. 

Starting with the part where he tells you he’s leaving.

Or that he’s decided rather recently that he needs to leave.   

He should just do it now, get it out of the way so it stops bothering him, especially because he’d like to leave as soon as possible, but you seem so relaxed right now and he’d hate to ruin that. 

So he’ll focus more on the trip itself than the telling you part. 

It should only take a few days. A quick trip to the forge and back. 

He’s pretty sure he’s found out where the convert currently is. He doesn't have as much free time as he used to so it took a little outside help, seeking out old colleagues until finally hearing word of an outer rim planet where they might be located. He’ll catch a transport ship there, take care of what needs to be taken care of, and be back to you before he knows it. 

Then you can plan your life together. 

He would love to just bring you to the forge with him, go from there and never look back. That would be ideal. To get you out of here as quickly as possible. But that’s not possible, if he’s gonna go this he’s gonna do it right, so he’ll plan everything down to the last detail to make sure that it’s as safe as possible. If he’s being realistic he knows you’ll have to do something drastic, probably along the lines of faking your death. 

Will he have to kill Kodo? 

He’d like to. 

He’s wanted to kill Kodo for some time now, he’s just a little worried you’d be mad, you were so mad when he hit him. 

He never wanted you to be that mad at him ever again. 

So maybe he won’t. 

That would be the easiest way to get you out though, to be fair. Kill Kodo and run, and deal with the consequences after. He’ll hide you away somewhere until things die down and then he’ll build you something permanent. A home for the both of you. 

He could also just whisk you away into the night one of these days. 

He honestly isn’t sure how long they’d look for you, the last thing he’d want is for you to have to live a life on the run, he wants for the both of you to be able to settle. If it was clear he had taken you it would be deemed a kidnapping, it would be a long search, how long would they look if they believed you just ran away? He doesn’t talk to other staff members enough to know how seriously the royal family would take such a thing. 

Faking your death would probably be the easiest thing. 

No one comes looking for you. 

He isn’t entirely sure how you’ll handle that suggestion but if you’re serious about starting a life together it isn’t going to be easy. 

“I’ll be right back.” He stands, and you immediately give him a confused look, he never gets up and leaves, but he’s just realized that you’ll need to be taken care of while he’s gone. Who will protect you when he’s away? He definitely doesn’t trust anyone here to watch over you, Elaine would be his first choice but she’s busy when she isn’t tending to you and in all honesty he isn’t sure what she would do if something were to happen to you. 

So he’ll have to go with someone who he knows is available to watch you and who he’s certain won’t harm you. 

You aren’t going to be happy with his choice. 

When he steps out into the hall he calls his name, a few moments later Leo appears, he already seems reluctant, Din never summons him but this is important, and he doesn’t have any other options. 

“I’m leaving, tomorrow, I have to take care of some things, Kodo said it would be fine for me to take time off when I took the job.” Tomorrow. Well that’s settled then he supposes. The twi’lek trembles under his gaze, clearly unsure as to where he’s going with this.  

“While I’m gone you will watch her.” Din adds on at the end, Leo looks clearly unhappy with this arrangement as he stumbles back a bit. 

“Me?” 

“I won’t repeat myself. You will watch her, you will make sure she doesn’t leave the castle when I am gone. If somebody tries to get near her, you stop them, if somebody tries to hurt her, you will stand between them, if she gets hurt you will feel whatever pain she feels tenfold upon my return. If she so much as gets a papercut while she’s reading in the library there will be repercussions.” He straightens his posture to make himself the tiniest bit more imposing over Leo. “Is that understood?”

“Yes, you’re understood.” Based on the fear in Leo’s eyes he’s certain he may have gone a little overboard but he’d rather be safe than sorry. 

“Good.”

That’s taken care of. 

Once Leo is gone, disappearing down the hall, he opens the door, slipping back into the library where you’re standing in the entryway.

At least he doesn’t have to figure out how to tell you. 

“You’re leaving.” You say it like it’s a fact. Which of course you now know it is. 

“Yes.” No sense in hiding it. 

“And you just weren’t going to tell me?” He definitely should have told you. 

“I was just about to tell you.” He hates when you look at him the way you are now. Like you can see right through the steel, like you know he’s lying, like you can see the guilty expression on his face. “I was going to tell you soon. I have to go take care of some things.” 

“Take me with you.” You say it more like a demand and less like a request. He probably should have seen that one coming, even if he wasn’t going to get something to surprise you with he probably wouldn’t be allowed to take you off planet. 

“I wish I could, sarad, but I have to go alone, I’ll only be gone a few days.” Kriff, he really should have told you sooner. 

“Where are you going?” You cross your arms in front of your chest. 

“I… can’t tell you.” Not a great excuse, he knows that. 

“If I’m being honest I don’t love the sound of that.” He can’t blame you, if your roles were reversed he wouldn’t just let you go. 

“I know but I need you to trust me, I’ll only be gone a few days.”

“And you absolutely have to go?” You sound less mad and more upset now. If he wasn’t leaving to do something for you, your expression alone would be enough to make him stay. 

“Yes. He says it like he’s confirming it for himself. 

“I’ll miss you.” All the anger has left your voice, now you just sound sad. 

“I’ll miss you.” More than anything. 

“When will you be back?” 

“I’m not sure exactly, I won’t be long.” Unless he can’t find the convert, but you don’t need to know that part. You nod and he’s a little surprised at your acceptance of all this. “I have to leave in the morning.” A deep frown settles on your face. 

“So soon?” He really should have told you sooner.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. If you have to then you have to.” You give him such a sad smile, he wishes he didn’t have to go but he wants to do this right. 

“Can you stay here, I’ll come get you in a few hours.” He cradles your face in his hands, wishing he could wash away any of your doubts, but now that you know he should probably go get ready. “I have to go pack a few things, I’ll be back before dark, okay?” 

“And then you’ll stay with me the rest of the night?” And every night after. 

“Of course.” 

“Okay then, hurry back.” 

This will also probably be the only chance he gets to make that fail safe.  

He lifts his helmet a bit to plant a kiss on your forehead before leaving you, watching as you instinctively close your eyes as he does. There isn’t a lot of time for him to do what he needs to do before you’ll be expecting him so he gets back to the cabin as quickly as possible.

He’s quick with everything, packing his bag with only the essentials and tossing the empty box down before finally sitting down at the table. 

Now to write the note. A letter with instructions on what to do if something ever happens to him. 

He doesn’t like the idea of you being left alone with your husband. The thought of it makes him sick. 

If another body guard were hired they wouldn’t protect you from him. 

Maybe he should ask Elaine to help you if that happens. 

She could get you out. 

If he wasn’t here he would want you to leave as quickly as possible, to go somewhere safe. He lists out all the places you could go, names and coordinates of people who can keep you safe at the mention of his name. He spends a solid hour staring at that piece of paper, writing out anything he’d want you to know before folding it up and setting it in the box. 

With that taken care of he kneels on the floor, feeling around until locating the familiar loose board under the kitchen table. 

He’d found it a week after moving in and it seemed like a perfectly good spot to hide things. He’s got a collection of things already set aside for you, he pulls each item from its hiding spot, putting them into the box before holding up a small chainmail shirt. He retrieves the stick shift knob from the shelf, wrapping it in the shirt and putting it in the box. 

In his note he’s left you with a task, to give those to the kid, and to tell him that he’s sorry. 

Lastly he fills a bag with credits, about a month's salary, you should be able to buy yourself a ship if you want, he isn’t sure if you’d know how to fly it but with the money provided you can pay someone to fly it for you. With that he sets the box under an extra flight suit in his bag before returning to the castle, on his way out the door he grabs the few bars of beskar he has. 

You’re right where he left you in the library, your brows furrowed as you stare at that damn book, he should have hidden it better. 

“Wanna go get some dinner?” You look up when he speaks, holding his hand out which you gladly take as he pulls you towards him. 

“We can do that. You’re all packed?” Thankfully you look less upset than you had earlier. 

“All packed.” He drops your hand as he opens the door, following you as you walk to the kitchens. He watches the way the back of your dress just barely drags along the stone floors as you ask for two dinners, handing his to him to carry with a smile as you continue to walk.

When you arrive back at your chambers you’re quick to lock the door, he watches as you rush to the closet, already sitting with your back to him when he steps inside, dim lamp light illuminates the room as he sits, his back brushing against yours as he listens to the sounds of your eating. 

What he wouldn’t give to eat face to face. 

He can’t remember the last time he shared a normal meal with someone. He ate in front of the kid but he always kept the helmet on, it would have been years and years ago, maybe with his parents. 

He finds the latch for his helmet, tossing it aside, he’s already decided he won’t be putting it back on tonight, he chews his food thoughtfully. What would life look like with you after this place? He certainly wouldn’t want to eat dinner like this every night. 

Maker, why won’t you just look? Everything would be easier if you’d just look. He would abandon his creed entirely if that’s what you wanted. Instead he loves the one person in the galaxy who doesn’t want to look. 

“You’re being quiet.” You finally break the silence as he sits up a little straighter.

“I’m always quiet.” He murmurs. 

“You think I don’t know that? You’re being extra quiet, what’s wrong.” 

“Nothing’s wrong.” He takes another bit as you lean back against him, resting your back on his as he hears you set your plate aside.

“You’ve been quiet all day.” Of course he has, he has to leave you tomorrow and you’ve been in a white dress all day. 

“I’m quiet every day.” He finishes his food quickly, reaching around blindly until he finds your plate, standing to set the both outside the room, when he turns around this time he faces you, kneeling on the floor behind you as he plays with the lace on the back of the dress, lining a series of buttons in a straight line down your spine. 

“You’re avoiding the point.” You snap at him but he just continues to trail his fingers across the intricate patterns of your dress.

“I’m just gonna miss you, that’s all.” 

“I’m gonna miss you too.” Your tone has softened.

“Want me to show you how much I’m gonna miss you?” He gives the back of your gown a teasing tug. 

“That might be nice.” You’re already reaching towards the lamp but he takes your hand, guiding it back into your lap. 

“Leave it.”

“Din…” You have a soft warning tone as he kisses your exposed shoulder. 

“Please, I want to see you.” He murmurs against your skin as he bunches up the fabric of your dress, pulling it up towards your hips. 

“But-” He’s quick to cut you off. 

“It’s fine, if you don’t look then you won’t see.” He swiftly unlatches his armor, setting it aside as he pulls you into his lap, his chest flush with your back. He turns to kiss your cheek, watching your eyes flutter shut as he does. 

He bunches up your skirt enough so he can see your thighs, pulling his gloves off so he can touch you, he likes the feeling of his skin on yours, how often does he get to have this? Only ever with you, not that he’d have it any other way. You’re just so soft, he likes the way you feel when he spreads your thighs a little wider, watching your mouth open a tiny bit as you inhale sharply. He’s already terribly hard, trying not to rut against your ass as he lets one hand dip between your legs, under your skirt, as the other one drifts up towards your chest, splayed out across your sternum to keep you in place.

He pushes your panties to the side, admiring the wetness he finds already there as he swipes his fingers along your seam. He tilts his head to the side, eager to watch your expression unburdened by his helmet as he pushes two fingers into you. 

Once he’s in your peripheral you close your eyes, leaving him to observe the way your mouth falls open as he gently slides his digits in and out, feeling you shift in his lap to grind against his palm. 

He’s fascinated by you, by the way you move in sync with him, with each movement of his hand you match it with a rock of your hips, or by arching your back.

“Din-” Your voice comes out as a high strangled cry that makes his cock ache against the fabric of his flight suit. 

“Go ahead, I wanna watch.” He mumbles as he presses his cheek to yours, staring down, mesmerized by the sight of you riding his fingers, his own mouth falling open as he feels your entire body tense up, feeling you clamp down on his fingers as you come. He keeps his fingers inside of you until your breathing evens out, once you come down from your orgasm he removes them, bringing them to his mouth as he uses his other hand to reach between the two of you, pulling his cock free. He stares down at the sight of himself against the pretty white fabric of your dress as he moans against his own fingers, stroking himself for a moment before popping his digits out of his mouth, grabbing your hips and lifting you a bit. 

He lets out a small groan as your hands reach down to line him up at your entrance, he lets go of your hips, letting you sink yourself down onto him, his hands wrapping around your thighs instead, squeezing the meat there with a pleased hum. 

You’re going at your own pace as he fights his own impatience, doing his best to not thrust up into you as he latches his mouth onto your shoulder, biting softly as you take nearly all of him, gasping his name the entire time. 

After another moment you’re fully sat in his lap, your breathing heavy as one of his hands moves from your thigh to your clit.

“Can you come again? Like this?” He rasps the words out against your skin, you nod as he begins to swirl his fingers in small precise circles, his moans match your own as he feels you slowly lift yourself off of him, your chest bouncing as you fuck yourself on him. 

Gods as his witness he’ll never wear his helmet again during sex. 

It’s just better to really see you like this, he can’t believe he deprives himself of this so often, the way your body trembles, the sounds you make, everything is simply better without the filters and the modulation. 

“Maker- Din!” Your strained plea snaps him out of his thoughts as he looks at your face, your eyes and nose scrunched up in frustration. “Please, fuck me, Din please.” You always sound so sweet, at this rate he’ll never be able to say no to you.  

He sits up a little to give himself more leverage, one arm wrapped around your waist to steady you, his other hand reaching behind himself to prop himself up as he thrusts up into you. His hips snapping up as he grits his teeth, a growl forming in his throat. He keeps you there for a bit, keeping up a brutal pace as he lets gravity do most of the work, bouncing you on his length, eventually relaxing after feeling your legs give out from under you. He sits back up on his knees, steadying you with both bands now, keeping you impaled on his cock as he leans forward, kissing up the column of your throat.    

“Kiss me, please.” He murmurs against your jaw, desperate for more of you as he lets out a low whine, wishing you would just look at him.

Your eyes shut as you turn your head to kiss him, he brings one hand up to your face, his other still on your stomach as he groans, rocking his hips upwards again. 

“You can look.” He pants, holding his forehead to yours as he stares at your face, contorted in pleasure as he pushes himself deeper into you, watching the way your eyes flutter a bit, never actually opening.

“I- I can’t.” You gasp out as he fucks up into you, short shallow thrusts, relishing in the way you take him, squeezing his cock with every rock of his hips, the way your face looks as he leans in for another kiss, quick and chaste, a sharp juxtaposition to how he’s fucking you, only pulling out in the slightest before slamming back into you. 

“You can, I want you to.” His voice is ragged and desperate at this point. 

“I will, just, not tonight.” 

“Ni vercopaanir gar Ru'kel haa'taylir.” I wish you would look. 

“I will, Din- I promise I will.” He’s sure you didn’t learn enough to know what he said but he’s still satisfied with that answer.

“Okay.” He kisses you again, swallowing your moans as he picks up the pace, pulling you down onto him as he rocks his hips upwards. He manipulates your body like it’s nothing, his hands holding you tightly enough to keep you upright as he continues to slam himself into you, you’re soaking his cock at this point as he muffles his grunts with your mouth. He knows you’re both nearly there, with the way your words become nonsensical. He turns his head to whisper into your ear. “Come for me, sarad.” He groans, his mouth falling open as a slew of filthy noises fall past his lips he feels you pulse around him, he frantically goes to pull out but you shake your head no, slamming your hips back against his and riding out your orgasm he watches you mumble, barely coherently. 

“In- Inside, Din.” 

You don’t have to tell him twice. You give him the sweetest cry as he bites down on your shoulder, he growls against your flesh as he releases the fire pooling in his stomach. 

“Bid jate- bid jate par ni.” So good for me. He mumbles against your shoulder.

He fucks his cum deeper into you with a few more sloppy thrusts before sitting back on his heels, staring at the ceiling as his chest heaves, letting you rest back against him as you go limp in his arms. 

Once he’s caught his breath he leans back, keeping himself inside you as he kicks his legs out. He swallows, still a little unsteady as you sit up, one of his hands wanders to you back, drawing a star there with one of his fingers. 

“Are you okay?” He whispers softly just before you lay back on top of him.

“Why do you do that?” He doesn’t stop you this time as you reach over and turn the lamp off, taking his hands and guiding him to turn the both of you onto your sides as his erection softens inside of you. 

“Do what?” He blinks, adjusting his eyes to the darkness and biting back a groan as you adjust yourself to put your hips flush with his.

“You switch languages, usually when you’re near the end, or when you say something kind.”

Oh.

He’s never really thought about that. 

“How did you know what I said?” He brushes a bit of hair behind your ear as he runs his hand down and up your spine slowly. 

“I asked my question first.”

“Fair enough. I guess it just happens, I’ve never really thought about why. I suppose it’s just another layer of armor, another way to conceal things.” You don’t respond, presumably thinking over his response. “Your turn, how did you know what I said?”

“I guessed.” Smart girl. 

“Of course you did.” He places a kiss against the back of your neck before resting the bridge of his nose there. “Do you wanna sleep like this?” He rocks his hips a bit to accentuate his point, drawing a gasp from you. 

“Yes, please.” You whisper back.

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” He smiles before closing his eyes, wrapping his arms around you, the last thing he feels before falling asleep is you intertwining your fingers with his. 

☆

He wakes up before you, careful to leave you undisturbed as he reaches over to turn on the lamp, happy to just watch you for a few more minutes before he leaves. Watching the rise and fall of your chest. After a moment he realizes he slipped out of you while he slept.

He’s in no rush but he knows the moment you wake he’ll have to go so he stays still for a while, enjoying the morning quiet until your eyes slowly open, and you stretch your arms with a groan. 

“Good morning, sarad.” He says softly, kissing your shoulder as you shudder at the sensation. 

“You’re leaving.” You whisper to him.

“I am.” 

Much to his surprise you turn to face him, of course he realizes a second too late that your eyes are closed. 

“Be safe.” You murmur, taking his face in your hands before kissing him. Maybe this will be a happy morning despite his worries about going. 

“Always.” He gives you another kiss before sitting up, dressing himself quickly, looking over at you every so often only to find that your eyes are closed until you hear the soft hiss of his helmet. 

“I’m serious, you better be careful.” You sit up and face him as he kneels beside you.

“I will, I promise.” He holds your face in one hand. “Goodbye, sarad’ika.” You give him a radiant smile. 

“Ret'urcye mhi, cyare.” Goodbye, beloved. That’s what you’d been learning yesterday. He’s a little taken aback by the sound of those words leaving your mouth, his own smile forming. 

“Jate bora” Good job. 

He doesn’t tell you how poorly you pronounced each of those words, too infatuated to care as he leans down, lifting his helmet enough to kiss your forehead. 

“I’ll be back in a few days, okay?”

“Okay.” 

He uses his free hand to gently grab your chin, giving you one last kiss.

“I’ll see you soon.” Once he’s shut the closet door he slips the fail safe box under your bed. 

And just like that he’s out the door, on his way to the nearest shipyard. 

☆

It goes surprisingly smoothly. 

He’s only gone for about four days, he gets lucky as far as transportation goes, managing to catch a cargo ship going directly to the planet he’s looking for. He doesn’t recognize it and in all honesty he isn’t sure he’s ever been there but he finds the convert easily enough.

It took a bit of convincing but he got what he needed from the armorer and just like that he was catching a ship back to you with two rings attached to a thin chain around his neck. 

He’s eager to see you immediately after landing but he’s filthy from the trip so he goes to the cabin first, shedding his armor and clothes before stepping into the fresher. He’d be lying if he said that he hadn’t started taking care of himself more after meeting you. 

He’d avoided mirrors all together until you. 

He’d shave when his beard got unmanageable. He’d cut his hair when it stuck out the back of his helmet. And that was it. 

And then you came along and suddenly he was staring at himself in the dingy mirror he’s in front of now. The first day he realized he wanted to impress you he spent hours in the cabin fresher, trying to even out his facial hair, and give himself something that resembled a respectable haircut. He needs another one soon, staring at himself now he knows he’ll need to shave before he sees you but he can probably go a few more weeks without a haircut. 

He’s pretty sure you like his hair long, even if you’ve never seen it, that’s the only reason he hasn’t just buzzed it all, the way he’d normally do it. You’re always touching it. 

So he cleans up his beard before stepping into the shower, he’s in a hurry, scrubbing away the days of travel and grime. He finds a clean flightsuit and dons his armor as quickly as possible, his hair is still wet when he puts the helmet back on. 

He makes a beeline towards the castle as the sun sets, the promise of you drives him forward despite his exhaustion. 

He checks the library first, finding the nook to be empty. He goes to your chambers, if his count is correct you would have had dinner with Kodo yesterday, so if you aren’t reading you should be in your room. He’s pleased to see a nervous looking Leo outside your door, his eyes go wide as Din approaches. 

He stops a few inches away from Leodall, looming over him. 

“Everything went smoothly?” His voice is low and husky. His professional voice. 

“Yes, of course.” He’s pretty sure Leo is too scared of him to lie so he gives him a curt nod of approval. 

“Then you’re dismissed, thank you.” He really is thankful, despite his dislike for the twi’lek. He watches him scurry away before hastily pushing your door open, stepping inside to find you there. 

You’re laying on your stomach, a book laid out on the bed in front of you. A look of anger crosses your face when you look up, assuming you’d find Leo in the doorway but once you see him you’re sitting up, rushing over to him and wrapping your arms around him. 

“I missed you.” You mumble against his chest plate as he returns your embrace.

“It was only a few days.” He laughs softly as you look up at him. He’s just happy to be with you again. 

“That doesn’t mean anything, I still missed you.” With the way you’re looking at him it’s a wonder he doesn’t get on one knee right now. 

Instead he can’t help it as he yawns, he’d been in such a rush to return to you he’d barely slept during his trip.

“Are you tired?” Your brows furrow in concern as he shakes his head no. 

“No, I’m fine, I’m just happy to see you.” He’s about to lift his helmet to kiss you, but you frown and pull him towards the closet. He isn’t entirely sure he’s going to be able to properly fuck you in this state but he’ll make it work. As you shut the door he starts taking off his armor and you turn to help him, carefully removing each piece until he’s in just his flight suit and helmet. You gently put your hands on his shoulders, pushing him down to the floor before kneeling beside him. He puts his hands on your waist and is a little surprised when you tenderly pull them away. 

“Lay on your stomach.” You tilt your head to the side and he’s about to argue but you click your tongue and point at the blankets. “I let you disappear for a few days with no questions, you owe me, now lay down. And take off your flight suit.” 

With a reluctant groan he does as he’s told, sliding his flight suit down to his waist, his confusion only growing as you straddle his back. His bewilderment vanishes though as he feels your hands kneading his shoulders. He’s about to flip himself over and tell you he’s fine but as he opens his mouth to complain you dig the heel of your palm into his back and instead a moan slips out. 

He doesn’t make much of a fuss after that, letting you methodically take care of the many knots and tense spots across his back. 

He turns his head to the side, closing his eyes as you hum a song to yourself, caressing and kneading every inch of visible skin until you’re satisfied. He feels you lean down, planting a kiss along his spine before climbing off of him and laying down beside him, he sits up with another rather embarrassing moan. He’s trying to flip you over to do you as you laugh, pulling him back down to lay with you. 

“You need sleep.” You once again catch him off guard as he feels your fingers on the helmet release, the kiss of air accompanied by the click of the lamp as you remove his helmet, kissing his forehead. 

“I missed you too.” He whispers into the darkness, realizing he hasn’t said it yet.

“I know you did, now get some sleep.” You pull his head down against your chest, squeezing his shoulder as you do. He really is exhausted, he hadn’t realized until he was reunited with you that he doesn’t sleep as well without you. 

“I love you.” He sleepily mumbles against your chest. 

No one takes care of him the way you do. Your soft hands continue to rub his back as he succumbs to sleep. 

“I love you too.” He feels another kiss on his forehead as he exhales the last of his energy. 

If he wasn’t so tired he probably would have proposed right then and there. 

☆

Having the rings has made him a mess.

Anytime you do anything he just wants to ask. When you’d kissed him this morning, when you’d walked out of your room in a green dress grinning at him like you’d done it just for him, when you’d handed him the speeder maintenance book from before because you just knew he hadn’t read it last time. 

And right now, as you read like you always do, sitting beside him. 

Now more than ever he wants to ask. 

He had wanted so badly for it to be special. 

He was thinking of maybe doing it in the gardens some night, where he had kissed you for the first time. But you look exactly how he always wants you to look right now. 

Your face buried in a romance book with a smile dancing on your lips. 

Tucked away in the nook, safe from the world. 

“How much of the Mando’a book did you end up reading?” He plays with the edge of the page he’s on now, he’s been pretending to read again, unable to pull his focus from you. 

“The translation book? Not a lot.” He watches as you turn to give him a smile. 

“Do you know what riduur means?” He knows you don’t, but he can’t stop himself from saying it. 

“No, I don't think I learned that.” You close your book, staring at him curiously. 

“It means partner, or spouse.” 

“Oh. Okay…” Your eyes get a little bigger once he says that. 

He gives you a nod before looking back down at his own book, silently cursing himself out for not going through with it. He hadn’t realized that having rings made would make him fall apart every time he’s in your presence. 

You’re just so… perfect. Do you have to be so perfect? You learn his language and you respect him and you love him and you’re endlessly sweet. 

He just wants to keep you like this forever.

Safe and happy. 

That’s why he can’t help himself as he sets his book down, he fidgets with his helmet for a moment before turning off the modulator, he wants you to hear his voice without the filter, sitting up, he cradles your face in his hands. 

“Can I ask you something?” He whispers.  

I am no longer doing taglists so follow @lincolndjarinnotifs and turn on notifications to be notified when new chapters are posted !!

[damiansgoodgirll]

Heya! Could you do a Damian Priest x fem!reader where they dated in the past and are re-united at Dominiks wedding?

<3

damian priest x reader

one more dance

he recognized you the moment you entered the reception. yes, maybe your hair was a little shorter, but he would recognise you in a room full of people.

he knew you and dom’s wife were friends but he wasn’t expecting to see you at the wedding, not when two days before you posted that you were having a work meeting in london.

that being the reason why you two broke up. you always loved each other but breaking up was the easiest way to get going with your lives and career.

his work as a wrestler meant he was always travelling and even if, at the beginning, you loved travelling with him, it came to a point where you weren’t able to follow him and work at the same time.

you were working in tourism, that meant you were always travelling too.

your schedule wasn’t compatible with his schedule no more. he was always travelling. you were always travelling and no matter how much you loved each other, there was something missing between the two of you.

you missed him having close at night when he was somewhere far away having a show. he missed not being able to call you when you were away because of work.

it just wasn’t working anymore. and it was killing you both. so ending it was the best choice.

but when he saw you wearing that purple short dress, memories came back in an instant. memories of you two being happy, memories of you smiling and laughing at his jokes. memories of how your body was made for his bigger one. memories of how he knew you and your body so well.

and in all honesty, he was missing all of that.

he missed you.

and maybe today was the day he could have his second chance with you.

he approached you carefully.

you saw him coming straight to you so you waved at him “hey” you smiled at him and hugged him.

“hey” he smiled back “you look amazing! how are you doing?”

“oh i’m great, i was in london for a work project but i would have hated myself if i missed the wedding…”you said laughing.

“so, you leaving soon?”

“tomorrow…right after lunch…i honestly can’t wait to come back home tho…pretty tiring project, what about you? you made it far” you said proudly.

you’ve always been proud of him. proud of his achievements. you’ve always been his first supporter and he knew that.

“yes, it’s been going good” he smiled “i can’t believe i got the opportunity to be one of the leads in wwe now…with the judgment day and stuff…it’s been amazing” he smiled at you.

“i knew you would have make it far…punisher…” you joked sipping champagne.

how he missed you calling him like that.

“so…” he wanted, no, he needed to know if you were single, if you were dating but he just didn’t know how to ask you that without sounding rude or noisy “apart from work…how’s life going? any changes in your life?”

“not many…but my sister got a baby” you said smiling. damian and your sister had a pretty good friendship back in time.

“no way…i’m so happy for her! tell her that!”

“i will” you laughed “what about you? anything new? girlfriend? wife? lovers? or are you still living your rockstar life?” you asked.

damian was taken aback from your sudden question.

so you were curious.

“single as you left me” he joked making you laugh, even if you felt a little sorry about that, knowing that he was trying to make it work between the two of you, it was you who were too scared of the possible repercussions and changes, that’s why you broke up with him “are you seeing someone?” he asked.

“no…you know it’s too…complicated …” you smiled “i’ve tried…i had a relationship in the past but it didn’t work…probably i’m not meant to be in a relationship but it’s completely fine, i still have my pretty big house and my mercedes benz” you said, making him chuckle.

but he knew you were lying.

as you were still speaking, the dj put on a romantic ballad, inviting all the couples to dance.

“would you dance with me hermosa? one more dance?” he invited you and you couldn’t say no so you took his hand and let him lead you to the dancefloor.

his hands gently posing on your hips as your hands went behind his back. your head on his chest as you were listening to his soft heartbeat. you tried not to cry because you were missing all of that. you realised how stupid and reckless you’ve been years ago.

“you’re still good at dancing uh?” you smirked at him.

“only because i have the best partner with me right now” he said smiling.

“dam…”

“mh?”

“i’m so sorry” you looked up in his eyes, voice still soft “i’m so sorry for breaking up with you, for hurting you…i never meant to hurt you in the first place dam…i thought…well, i wasn’t really thinking, i was just scared” a tear dropped from your eye and his thumb quickly wiped it away.

“i know hermosa…i know” he smiled.

“you should be mad at me damian…”

“i can’t be mad at you…not when i still love you like the first day we met…i could never be mad at you querida…” he kissed your head.

“i miss all of this…i miss you so much damian”

“i miss you too y/n…” he said softly “we can make it work love…we can do it…but please, if there’s something going on, i need you to talk to me, not to hide and run away…that’s all i’m asking” damian said and you nodded.

“i promise” you smiled.

his lips gently touched yours and you felt your legs all jelly. how you missed him.

on the other side of the room there were dom and juliette watching the two of you together, smirking as their plan worked.

[ryo-apologist]

Shiggy's Slutty Lil' Waist

Shigaraki Tomura x Reader

CW: Smut, Minors DNI, I will block your ass, talk about crop tops on men and gray sweatpants. Don't like? Bully me it'll be foreplay <3 /j

AN: I saw a picture of Johnny Depp in a crop top. We all know the one. And yk what? Shiggy has the same slutty lil waist. And so far all three of my posts have been about Shiggy. Will that change? Idk ask me next week. It's my comfort character and I can seek toxic comfort WHEN I WANT-

~Darling XOXO

☾ Shigaraki Tomura has the sluttiest fucking waist.

☾ That's it. That's the post.

☾ No, I'm kidding. I'll elaborate for thirsty whores like me. And Barbie. Shout out to them.

☾ Shigaraki obviously has the fits going for him. Name one outfit he wore that didn't slap. Exactly. You can't. So contrary to what people think, I think Shigaraki takes a bit (Not a lot, do not get me wrong) of care in how he looks. He has an image to maintain after all. How can he be expected to be the big, bad leader of the LOV if he doesn't look like it.

☾ That being said, I think at some point it just comes naturally to him to dress in ways that suit his body.

☾ And we all know he has the body to do so. After he left that big ol' test tube? Did y'all SEE his arch? Fuck man I couldn't arch better if I TRIED. Like,-

☾ Okay before this post turns into a tiktok comment section on the thirstiest of Gojo Edits, let me continue.

☾ My point here, is he probably doesn't dress like we see in the anime all the time. That would get tiring. Drain his mana level if you would. And he needs time to recharge.

☾ So, In this essay post, I'm here to argue that Shigaraki Tomura wears crop tops that barely brush past his nipples to show off his slutty little waist.

☾ You know, the shirts that had a hole in the front? Instead of sewing them like a reasonable man, he rips them from that hole all the way around. Which means his crop tops vary in length. Every single one of them.

☾ And that leaves perfect access for you to wrap your hands around his waist and just hold him like that. He hates it. No, he doesn't.

☾ In all truth, Shigaraki loves the feelings of your hands on his midsection because it's such an intimate place to him. He loves feeling you touch him with no fear, even though he knows the second he's done with you, he's taking those hands and dusting you.

☾ Y'all didn't think I was about to turn my greatest number one villain into a *gasp* nice person, did you? /lh

☾ Sorry, not here. Shigaraki does not do love. Only with me, dw guys I'll treat him right :). He's a man with needs that get in the way of his bigger plans. Sorry, not sorry.

☾ Anyway, trail your hands up his ribs and play with his nipples. Pinch them and roll them between your thumb and forefinger. It buys you another day. Additionally, you get to play with his fat tits.

☾ He has one shirt that he outgrew after his transformation that absolutely hugs his double dee, mommy milking, calcium cannon, honga-bazongas, dippin dots, whatyoudoingouthere withallthattiddies, boinga boinga, bouncing bangers.

☾ This one magically turned into a crop top. It was crazy. Shoutout to whoever put it in the wash to shrink it. They a real one.

☾ It was me.

☾ And it's like that one meme of the guy looking at something with his pecs right there and the lady is just O-O at them. Which...Yeah me too.

☾ Anyway, he wears it all the time because he's convinced it still fits.

☾ Play with his...pecs... through the shirt. He has the most sensitive nipples and it just brushes against them just right and...He likes it is all I'm gonna say.

☾ Now, I know what we're all thinking, 'Darling, what about the pants?' And Darling's got you, baby cakes.

☾ I only tease in the bedroom :)

☾ Grey sweatpants season is EVERY season for this man. He's got like three pairs he cycles through. Kurogiri HATES them. He tries to throw them out and replace them with sensible jeans or slacks.

☾ Never works. He's like a raccoon with stocks of them EVERYWHERE.

☾ Anyway, so he's got his gray sweats and his slutty little crop tops. Let me paint this picture for Y'all.

☾ Shigaraki Tomura wearing a tight white t-shirt that's shrunk into a crop top, clinging to his chest as he stretches his arms above his head, biceps straining against the fabric. His toned abdomen is constricting with his every breath of his, on full display along with the angles of his slutty lil' waist. Your eyes follow down to his belly button and following the trail of white hairs that lead to his v-line, the waistband of his pants just barely clinging to his hips but hugging the delicious outline of his cock, which, while even flaccid, is enough to make anyone drool.

☾ Y'all seeing the vision now? Because I do.

☾ I'm seeing the vision. I'm salivating over the vision. I'm ready to turn into a Gojo fan girl at this point. Like I'm drooling. No lube. No protection. No-

☾ And if you start playing with his tits like this? In this outfit?

☾ He's trying to swat you away, you're getting in the way of his game, but your hands are feeling too good. He's only half paying attention to the pixels anyway, but it's about the principle of letting you get your way.

☾ But you can see you're winning with the way his cock twitches in his pants, throbbing in plain sight.

☾ Your lips trace along his neck and suddenly the pause screen pops up. There's a dark patch already soaking through his pants and they're lose enough your fingers can dip right past the band and trace along his shaft.

☾ He's already groaning, debating if this is worth his time. Worth the distraction.

☾ When your pretty little fingers wrap around his cock and give it a firm tug, he decides it is.

☾ Do not think he rolls over and let's you do as you please however.

☾ No, no, no. He's pulling you over the couch and pinning you as he gets rid of the bigger distractions stopping from doing exactly what he wants.

☾ If he leaves you a dripping, drooling mess on the couch, that's your own fault really.

☾ But who really cares at that point, because in the end, you won anyway <3

☾ But FUCK does Shiggy have a slutty lil' waist.

[dykedvonte]

I saw your earlier post and you mentioned how people say things like "Curly is a grown ass man", "Curly is bigger than Jimmy", "Curly is Jimmy's boss", "He just needed a backbone" and you're so right cuz it drives me insane the way people want to hate Curly as much as Jimmy so they start saying really concerning stuff. Like is that not just victim blaming? Is saying "Curly is a grown ass man" not just rephrasing "why didn't she fight back?" It feels like the fandom think they can just say vile shit because his abuse wasn't physical (at first, and don't even get me started on anyone saying he deserved to be abused as if any kind of abuse can be justified) and he's a guy. Makes me wonder if people would bother seeing Curly as another victim if he was a woman or if discussion would be equally as insufferable because he's still not the "perfect victim" compared to Anya

It's crazy the way people say "I would've fixed everything unlike Curly" and then continue brushing off a victim and saying they deserved it. Even Curly acknowledged Anya's suffering even if he failed to help her in the end, and yet the fandom acts like this without any self-awareness (sorry for ranting like this but I'm just very tired of the fandom recently)

What worse about those comments and the sentiments is it’s often used when people are discussing him as a victim. Like acknowledging the abuse he also faced with Jimmy and that it shouldn’t matter or have an effect because he needed to “man up” and deal with it due to his position.

He needed to deal with it more effectively yes, but it is really victim blamey in the sense he should’ve just been able to. I talked about if Curly was a girl people would probably still judge her on the basis of being more experienced and accomplished and also needing to know better. The problem is that every is trying to treat what Anya and Curly went through on a comparative level. The game does not try to do that but instead tries to have their abuse parallel each other and be metaphorical, along with show the subtle and explicit ways abusers treat their victims.

People see how Jimmy and Curly parallel each other and create the idea “they deserved each other” in some weird ironic penance stance on both their parts. It’s just so odd because the game clearly shows that not a single person was deserving of their situation and especially the treatment under Jimmy at any point for any reason. The game centers around everyone paying for callous actions he commits and refuses to take responsibility for and yet the conversation center around one of his most tormented victims being questioned on how deserving he was of it/how it shouldn’t have effected him that badly.

I know you can be mad at Curly but making it out that if he was a real good man than he just would’ve had the balls to stand up to what was likely years of emotional and mental degradation still perpetuates the idea if a victim really didn’t like the treatment they would’ve just fought back harder or not put themselves into that position in the first place.

It goes back to the idea that there’s always a way to stop it and it’s on you if it happens. It’s again taking focus off the perpetrator and putting it on other aspects than the ever present source. Idk man but it’s like people are trying to make so many slightly different think pieces on MW that some just loop back to harmful rhetoric we were just moving away from.

[leikeliscomet]

Heartstopper's Aspec Representation Isn't For Me - And That's Okay (Mini Essay)

Spoilers for Series 3!

So I just finished series 3 and I feel conflicted. I don't hate Heartstopper at all. I think it's a very cute show. I'm happy queer baby gen z and gen alpha have something to see themselves in, I love how Tara, a darkskin Black lesbian girl is happy in her relationship. I'm happy Isaac makes my fellow aspecs happy. I'm happy Charlie tore Ben's singlet in series 2 and for once the victim/survivor is allowed to not forgive their assaulter. I like Heartstopper's little moments but I've felt like something was missing overall and now we're on the third season, I think I know what it is now. There's comments on BL and yaoi by Alice Oseman I don't fully agree with, some of the acting in the show could be a bit better I guess, most of the characters are comfortably in the British middle class and I am a grown adult now so my interest in school/teen dramas has dipped a little bit (but not you Waterloo Road ily <3). So to an extent, there were always gonna be limits on how much I enjoy this show, but nevertheless, I still think they're worth pointing out, especially if we're claiming Heartstopper for the next gen of queer rep. Because honestly having watched shows like Heartbreak High and Koisenu Futari plus being a massive Selah and the Spades fan, I feel a bit robbed in terms of quality.

Isaac still feels underdeveloped and for a show that's been going on for 3 series now this feels disappointing. Like obviously Nick and Charlie get all the screentime as they're the main characters. Tao and Elle got a lot more juicer storylines from s2, Tara and Darcy got more to work with this series even if it was rushed (oh I miss you long series 2010s shows), but Isaac still feels leaps behind everyone else. He didn't really get anything in series 1. In series 2 we saw him coming to terms with his identity which felt like a good starting point but I was still waiting for the 'big asexual plans' Alice Oseman promised and... nothing. I liked his comment about googling aromanticism to Charlie because the representation by PowerPoint style of aspec writing can get tired. I also liked his moment of feeling left out by his friends plus still wanting to know Nick and Charlie's tea, giving him sexual agency whilst aroace instead of feeding into infantilisation. But apart from that... nothing. I wanted to feel more moved by the aquarium scene, but it felt tacked on because whilst Isaac's upset was justified, Imogen just wanted to chat about gay fish, so Isaac came across as a little passive-aggressive instead of what was supposed to be his moment. Plus it feels a little backhanded how much effort series 1 went to in how big coming to terms with your identity is, plus the gorgeous way Isaac's aroace revelation was filmed in series 2 was filmed just to have him blurt it out in an aquarium and have barely any of his friends actually support him like he supported them. But life imitates art I guess. This whole season we've seen characters talking about university plans, gap years and going through the post-16 struggle. But what about Isaac? We never find out what uni he wants to go to or even if he wants to go. What subjects does he like? What job does he want post-school? What's his relationship like with his family? The people need to know! I always found it weird how Isaac was left out to the point where straight characters, whilst still bearing in mind that Tao x Elle is an interracial pairing between two POC and one of which is a trans girl and this is very rare and deserved representation too, had gotten more screentime than him. Imogen, Sahar, Mr Ajayi and Mr Farouk had all been introduced for bigger storylines but Isaac, despite being in the main group, still had to wait for his share. This series was such a huge moment for everyone but Isaac... again. And whilst I'm happy if everyone else is, I genuinely feel like we all deserve better.

Tori was given bigger moments this series and that was great because I was waiting for my introverted slurping sister to come through. Her concern and care for Charlie and jealousy of Nick were great plus with the introduction of Michael, it was all leading to the big reveal of Tori being ace, right? Right? Wrong, because this scene was cut from the ferris wheel moment and I have no idea why. Oseman confirmed it was because Tori's storyline will continue in s4 and she didn't want to rush it but like, what? Series 3, at least in my eyes, did an alright job at building up her coming out. And again, if Nick could get his bi awakening in a one series arc, why can't this asexual character then too? They also covered Darcy's non-binary transition and coming out in this series too so I don't know why there wasn't room for Tori apparently. There was plenty of room for an 'I'm asexual' within those 5 minutes. Waiting to develop her in series 4, which is yet to be confirmed and likely to be the show's last series so it will already have a lot to do with wrapping up the Nick x Charlie saga seems like a poor decision. This is the second time we've had to wait till next season for the aspec character's arc by the way.

I'd like to see some aroallo POVs on this but this season put a lot of emphasis on linking love and sex together and it felt a bit strange icl. Yes, they're linked socially/societally and it's great to have sex with someone you love and love someone you have sex with etc etc etc but the first 2 series made a point of separating the two by showing love without sex and how it was just as meaningful. Almost every time a character was sexually attracted to another e.g. calling them hot or started making out because they wanted to have sex in that given moment there would be a dialogue from one of them going 'it's okay we're in love 'it's normal you're in love' 'well that's what people in love do!' and these are all correct statements but like... we get it! You don't have to be head over heels in love to find someone sexually attractive or just want to have sex with them. It's okay if you're not in love too y'know? I'm not sure what that constant reassurance was for because depicting sex without love isn't as pearl clutchy as it seems when all parties are safe, consenting and comfortable, or, if you've ever had any knowledge about aro(allo) spaces tbf. Nick and Charlie are not aspec and are very much sexually attracted to each other so the conclusion of them having sex isn't surprising at all, especially when I already knew from tweets back in series 1 that Heartstopper the comic already had a storyline later on of the two having sex for the first time. Plus the other characters aren't aspec either so their sexual debuts are also unsurprising and deserved. Plus, I'm actually glad they included Tara and Darcy having sex because many 'sex positive' shows seem to leave out the lesbians. But for a show with an aroace creator and aspec characters, the depictions of romance and sex don't feel like they were written from an aspec lense or for an aspec audience. It's normal for people to be romantically and sexually attracted to each other and then date and have sex. But if you're aspec, you know this. We all know this. This is the mainstream and default depiction of human (hetero)sexuality. We're watching the queer shows to see something different from that. When romance without sex can only hinge on the characters being below the age of consent plus a supposed 'innocence' due to their young age and sex without love is non existent, plus when you factor in how there are no aroallo or alloace characters in the show with 'groundbreaking' aspec representation, it makes for a bit of a headscratcher. Heartstopper may be made by an aspec, has aspec characters and aspec fans, I don't consider it an aspec show. Bit sad, but it is what it is.

It's honestly strange how despite this fact, asexuality and aromanticism is barely mentioned in the main discourse about this show. Antis claim Oseman is a cishet woman despite being non-binary and aroace. They blame the sexlessness of the show on puritanism despite Oseman being aroace. There's constant arguments about how 'unrealistic' it is for teenagers to not have sex despite Isaac being a whole teenage aroace and how some people just didn't have sex in their teens... like aspecs. People are annoyed the show keeps giving Isaac aromantic and asexual storylines because it's 'not as important' and they 'don't care' as if he's not a main cast member and again, the creator is aroace! If you look at the promo pictures of the show, it has the main three pairings, Nick and Charlie, Tao and Elle and Tara and Darcy and no Isaac. Despite the fact it's supposed to be 'for' us and made by one of us, it's not. And a lot of non aspec queer fans watching the show don't see it for us despite being made by one of us either. And that's a real shame.

I'm fully aware Oseman knows about writing aroace characters from the book Loveless, which has an aroace MC. But I think Netflix choosing to adapt Heartstopper over Loveless was intentional. I think Netflix creating Isaac instead of Aled, a demi gay non-binary character from the og comic, was intentional. I think all the decisions Netlix made with Isaac and Tori are intentional, the same way bringing Yasmin Benoit to the Sex Education writers room to cut half of O's storylines was intentional. Netflix has fumbled the bag with asexual and aromantic representation several times now (Cash Piggot and Todd notwithstanding) so at this point, I'm not surprised anymore. Again, I'm happy for anyone who really likes Heartstopper, but I've finally accepted that it's not for me. And that's okay. When someone makes the predominantly aspec, slightly more grown, queer show with fully fleshed out arcs for its's asexual and/or aromantic characters or hits up Lovie Simone for the scrapped Selah and the Spades TV show, I know where I'll be.

We deserved our moments too. We deserve our Heartstopper.

[nhasablogg]

The dance of three

Fandom: MCU

Characters: Bucky/Steve/Tony

Summary: Steve and Tony help Bucky get out of his head in their usual way.

A/N: I wrote this for Throwback Week, a project where I would be revisiting fandoms and pairings I used to write for back in the day and posting a week's worth of fics for them. But life happens, and I don't think I'm at a point where I can do this project and be happy with the results. I did however finish this fic before deciding to scrap it, and I have a few half-finished ones I'd love to eventually complete, but for now I'm leaving you with this good old fashioned Stuckony fic, complete with tickles and some teasing and pondering. I hope you like it!

Words: 2k

(Read it on AO3)

Bucky wasn’t good at this, despite the amount of them he’d attended in the past year. Too many people loosened up by the excessive amount of booze you could sneak into your system just by casually grabbing at the champagne glasses that were everywhere. Too many people and too many eyes on him, even though they rarely spoke to him. He used to be good at charming a crowd, only nowadays, in this century, he preferred if they left him alone. Galas were full of people he’d never been around. There was no warmth there.

“Are you sulking?” A hand at his waist, Steve’s minty breath at his ear.

“Not exactly,” Bucky replied, straightening out his features which seemed to definitely have been forming a frown. No wonder people glanced at him quickly and then pretended they hadn’t. “It’s hot in here. Don’t you think it’s hot in here?”

Steve smiled. What had once been a situation where Bucky always had the advantage had now turned into the opposite, although neither of them were even close to being on Tony’s level, naturally. “It is a little stuffy in here, yes,” Steve said, humoring him, or comforting him, or both. Probably both. “Do you want to step outside?”

“I want to find Tony and leave.”

“Buck.”

He sighed. “Outside’s fine. I wanted to look at the view anyway.”

The gala, the most boring of parties, was at the very top of a skyscraper with a view of the entire city, meaning even the balcony was gated in the form of tall metal bars to keep drunk and depressed people from ruining the mood. Bucky might’ve imagined it, but the chilly march air felt thin out there, but at least it was quieter.

“The size of this place is bigger than our first apartment.” He pointed to the ground, tracing the outlines of the invisible squeaky floors of a Brooklyn flat many moons ago, which had been lined with the few books they owned and Steve’s many overfilled notebooks. It had almost been beautiful had it not been so utterly pathetic how their lack of possessions had nothing to do with being okay with a meager living.

Steve was following his hand with his eyes, humming as Bucky continued outlining their too small bed and rickety chairs. “So’s our bedroom back at the Tower.”

“I know. It’s weird. I don’t know what to do with all that space now.”

Steve leaned into him, looking so good in that stupid navy blue suit that Bucky imagined pulling him into a restroom just to rip it off. “It’ll get easier.”

Bucky didn’t respond, because he was sure that Steve didn’t just mean this, and Bucky wasn’t in the mood for existentialism, believe it or not.

He sighed and pressed his cheek toward Steve’s face, grinning when Steve laughed and kissed him. He nearly screamed when someone suddenly kissed his other cheek, only the rational side of his brain caught up to him and he turned to find Tony having crept up to them. “Hey you.”

“Hi. Why exactly are you getting cozy without me?”

“Couldn’t find you anywhere.”

“And here I thought it was the two of you who were hiding.”

“Mm, you jealous?”

“That you’re able to hide? Very.” He looked tired, although something in his tone made Bucky say, “So why are we here then?”

Tony clicked his tongue and moved away from him. Steve might’ve been okay with Bucky’s maybe not so subtle whiny tone which he’d adopted for the night, but Tony wasn’t.

“Sorry,” he hurried to add, averting his gaze. “I know you don’t want to be here either.” I know it’s hard for you to be around these people and all the booze.

“Yeah, well.” Tony cleared his throat. “I’m glad you both came with me anyway.”

“Of course we came,” Steve said, shooting Bucky a look.

“Yeah,” he said. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Tony broke out into a laugh and Bucky felt himself relax. “God, it’s boring, isn’t it?”

Steve shrugged. “I’ve seen worse. Nice view, though.”

Tony turned so that they were standing side by side with Bucky in the middle, watching a glittering New York City that spread out as far as the eye could see. Bucky suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to cry and turned his face to the side where Tony was standing, thinking he didn’t know him as well as Steve did yet, and found him already looking at him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Bucky.”

“I don’t know.”

Tony looked at Steve briefly, the two of them trying to quietly figure out what to do. It might’ve once offended Bucky had he not been so fascinated by the ways they all communicated. How much easier it was now.

“We can leave,” Tony said slowly, a hand on his side, firm and reassuring. “Soon. I’m sorry. I just have to-”

“You don’t have to apologize, Tones, Jesus.” Bucky shook his head. “It’s not your fault I’m being an asshole.”

“You are obviously uncomfortable. I wouldn’t call that being an asshole.”

“I’m, uh, strangely emotional.” He regretted it the moment he said it. “Wait, that sounds pathetic, I take it back.”

Tony laughed more than the situation probably called for. “You’re killing me here. Steve, entertain him while I go sort some things out.”

Steve hummed in a way that made them both turn toward him. “Or maybe we can- you know. Fix things so that none of us have to suffer through the rest of the night. Buy a bit more time.”

Bucky understood what he meant before Tony did, and so he was already bright red by the time Tony started grinning. “Oh. Is that it, then?”

“I never said that,” Bucky was quick to say, although there was no heat in his voice anymore. He both hated and loved Steve for always knowing what he needed.

“But you’re not objecting.” Steve’s smile was kind to Tony’s playful. Bucky didn’t know which one he feared more.

“Only if you want us to,” Steve added. “Otherwise we can stay here while Tony finishes his business. How long would that take?”

“At least half an hour,” Tony said, checking his watch. “Can you wait for half an hour?”

“Not now that you’ve teased me like that.”

They laughed at Bucky’s groan. “Well, that’s settled then. Let’s find a bathroom or something.”

“This is so unromantic.”

“I can totally light a candle.”

“And embarrassing.”

Tony hooked his arm through Bucky’s. “You’ll live.”

They’d only done this once before, but Bucky hadn’t been able to stop thinking of it since. Steve had remembered it from their time together before everything, and so he hadn’t been surprised when it had slowly crept into their relationship with Tony too. Correction. They’d only done it in public once before.

Bucky knew even less what to do with it now that there were two sets of eyes observing him, two mouths smiling down at him. Two pairs of hands slowly unraveling him, finding each and every weak spot. He’d never been shy, but this was too close to it for comfort, only he didn’t mind the vulnerability.

They made their way through the gala, looking determined enough that no one stopped them. Bucky felt Steve press closely against his back while Tony pulled him through the crowd, the three of them interconnected. He imagined them grinning giddily, but he himself had not yet learned how to be relaxed about this. How to have this be more than a knot in his stomach until the very first touch would force the anxiety out of him.

“Why are you-” Steve had stopped himself all those decades ago. “You seem. Tense. But in the wrong way.”

“The wrong way?”

“You don’t seem nervous as much as worried.” He’d taken a step back and Bucky had held himself back from grabbing for him to pull him back. “We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

Bucky had wished to tell him that they could keep it casual, although he hadn’t. Steve would figure it out eventually, although with Tony it was still new and Bucky felt anxious about it again. Everything else had only made it worse, but he appreciated that Tony never made a big deal out of it. They didn’t talk about his anxiety; how his timidness nearly turned him stoic. Steve had accepted it long ago. Tony didn’t question it.

“Ah, here.” Tony pushed open a door after leading them through several corridors to reveal a relatively big bedroom. “They always make sure they have somewhere to put the rich and drunk.” Bucky didn’t ask if he’d been in there before, but he could picture it. Tony stumbling over the carpet. Tony passing out on the floor.

“This is also miraculously bigger than our old apartment,” Steve said, but Bucky’s attempt at a laugh was weak. “Hey,” Steve continued, a flicker of concern on his face. “Do you actually want this right now?”

“Yes.” Bucky ducked his head. “You know how I get.”

Steve stepped closer to him, a hand on his wrist. “I do.” A squeeze. A smile. “The door can be locked. We’re far away from the party, although I would also assume the room is partly sound proof. You can laugh as much as you want.”

“And we,” Tony said, appearing on Bucky’s other side. “can tickle as much as we, and you, want. Okay?”

Bucky finally, finally, broke into a nervous grin. “Okay.”

They were still new to the dance of three, and so Bucky watched his partners try to figure out how to move around each other without overcrowding him. It was almost amusing, only he felt suddenly extremely ticklish and aware of what was to come, and so he sat on the bed and tried to keep himself from curling up already. The gala was nothing to him now. He barely remembered where he was. This room could be any room. This bed could be any bed (except for their old squeaky Brooklyn bed from the 30s). Tony sat beside him first, the mattress dipping from his weight, and turned his body to face him. One day they might not start this with uncertainty, but that was not that day. “Can I-? Your upper body-?”

“Yes.” Bucky ducked his head, keeping his hands from covering his face. “Anywhere you want.”

Tony grinned, slowly, amused. “Okay. Could you lift your arms for me then?”

“Definitely not.”

Steve laughed. “I could’ve told you that. Here, let me.” 

He pushed Bucky down gently, covering his body with his own and holding onto his arms, and Bucky was laughing even before he felt Tony reach for his armpit. Steve was blocking many of his spots from reach, but being trapped and having Tony zero in on one specific area was almost worse. And once Steve started nuzzling into his neck? He was a goner. Thank god for sound proof walls and loud galas and partners who didn’t judge you.

Bucky turned his face in an attempt to block Steve’s nuzzling and came face to face with Tony, who really had no business lying down with them but was and was letting his fingers lazily circle Bucky’s skin, moving up and down between his armpit and upper ribs. He was smiling. It tickled like hell. Almost worse because he was taking his sweet time with it.

“Hi,” he said and Bucky would’ve rolled his eyes if he could. “Do you feel better now?”

“Shut the hell up.”

“Oh, Steve, he’s being mean to me.” Tony grabbed for his hip, and Bucky started squirming when he realized he was aiming for the hem of his dress shirt which was tucked in his pants. “That simply won’t do.”

“No, no, no, not bare skin, no-” Of course Bucky’s protests weren’t serious enough, but Tony was still inexperienced that he always paused, giving Bucky a chance to explain if he meant it. When Bucky didn’t continue, he got his shirt free, slipping a hand into it easily and scribbling over his bare side. Steve was still nuzzling his neck, picking up speed again after the brief pause.

How Bucky was supposed to go back out there and pretend as if this hadn’t happened he wasn’t sure. Fortunately his blazer would hide the wrinkles in his shirt, though there was not much saving his hair. Not to mention the ghost tickles that would follow him for the rest of the night. There was no getting rid of them either.

[lil-annonie]

I WANNA BE YOUR BOYFIREND! —INO TAKUMA

SYNOPSIS. poor Ino, having to deal with the most blind and oblivious crush... Maybe think abiut getting your eyes n heart checked...

CONTENT. NB!reader. (sorry if it sounds closer to f!) Childhood friends to lovers. Cheesy. Got the photographer! Ino idea from @colonelarr0w ! I asked the anon question on may 4.. Wowzers

WC. 2222! That's so kewl! Ah! Finally reached 2k words and I'm stopping cause this has been in my drafts for too long and I can't seem to add any more words. A/N. Oh boy. I wanted to use his first name (takuma/) but I'm too tired to edit. So I just added tags and posted it.

Ino Takuma was and is your bestest friend.

And you were the person Ino Takuma was hopelessly in love with.

meeting him when you were six and was picked on by a group of boys calling you names. Poor you couldn't do anything but to sniff and feel the tears pooling in your eyes.

2003.

you remember when he rushed to help you, his two small hands occupied with a handful of pebbles, and with those pebbles he threw them as hard as a six year old could, aimed right at the back of the mean group of kids who were tormenting you.

you remember the shocked looked plastered on their faces before screeching and running away from the playground and back to their non-existant parents, too frightened to look back.

you remember your now-best friend walking up to you, acting as cool as he can while he helps you stand up, adding in an " 'r you okay?".

He remembers when you held his hand and asked for him to help you stand up. when you did, you rubbed the tears pricking on your eyes off with your forearm, and with your free arm, you used it to hug him. thanking him while suppressing your hiccups.

He remembers cheekily smiling as his pretty crushmate thanks him like he was their knight in shining armour.

He remembers offering ice cream while pointing at a nearby ice cream stand in order to cheer you up, as his mind believed, "ice cream would solve all problems!" even exclaiming it to you.

He remembers the way your eyes lit up when he did what he did and you nodded in agreement to all of them.

He remembers holding hands with you as you guys walk to the stand to buy twin pops, opening the popsicle and letting you pick what side you want first.

He remembers the two of you counting from one to three before pulling the side of your popsicles towards yourselves. unfortunately for you, your popsicle broke and you had the smaller side.

He remembers offering to switch popsicle sticks instead, sticking the hand holding the bigger popsicle out for you to get.

he remembers when you nodded happily, taking the offered popsicle and giving the smaller one to him, which he accepts as happily.

He remembers the two of you, holding hands once more, walking back to the playground and resting on the playground stairs, starting up a random conversation, exchanging names, then quickly changing topics every two minutes or so.

(he remembers starting a war with you the next day, the enemies being the said bullies.)

He smiles, in his own world— no, in the shared world you and him made, talking about the past with you was always the best.

You sigh and sit up, leaning on his bed's headboard, your eyes darting around his soft bed you both were laying on in search for the remote, but your eyes seem to scan around his room. oops. "enough talking, we should continue watchi— hey!" you shout a little too loudly and ino looks at you with a raised brow.

"what is it?" he calls your name when you don't answer. After another call of your name and you still don't, he decides to look at where you were looking at. and behold, it was his first camera. it was weirdly placed in the front and center of all his other cameras, placed so that it would be the center of attention.) that was placed on his wall shelf.

2007.

It was finally his birthday! he could barely get himself to sleep the night before, too excited for the upcoming event. but in honesty, he was excited on what you would do with him to celebrate! maybe have a food fight? go to the arcade? he doesn't care, as long as you were celebrating with him!

He rushes down the stairs and loudly pushes the door open to run to your meet up spot with him. the playground stairs, the one off-placed stairs that was hidden below the big green slide.

And there you were, sitting on the stairs, holding something behind your back, when you saw him, you waved at him, shouting for him to come quick.

"Happy Birthday, Takuma!" you excitedly clap, but his attention isn't really on you. "Whatcha hidin'?" he asks, not bothering to hide his excited expression. "oh! nothing!" you respond with the same look on your face, only more cruel. "C'mon! Is that a gift? maybe a gift for… you know, somebody's birthday?"

you nod your head up and down before grabbing the gift from your back and placing it on your lap. "I was planning to give this to you a little later, but you can open it now, if you want!" you give the signal for him to get the nicely wrapped gift.

In a flash, Ino sits next to you and grabs the gift, placing it on his lap. "I wrapped it for you! so you better not tear it apart." you warn when his hands start to open the gift. he only scoffs and continues opening the ribbon first. "Of course, madam. i'd never!" he jokes, though true.

After he opens the gift, he exhales out a "woah..". "do you like it, takuma?" you nervously ask as he now holds the small camera you saved up for him.

When he finishes admiring the camera, he wraps one arm around you. "I love it! I promise I'll always take pictures of you using this!"

"You still have this camera?!" all of the sudden you were jumping to reach the old camera. "Surprising how you still remember." Ino thinks aloud before walking over and getting the camera for you.

When he hands it to you, you take it in your hands. "Does it still work?" you ask, your finger hovering over the button that turns on the digital camera, and he only nods.

For an old camera, it barely took any time to load. You stop when it does, clueless. and he realizes that. "need a little help?" you hum, "..How do I see the gallery?"

after he tells you and you figure it out, you run back to his bed to sit and he follows before sitting beside you.

Starting from the first ever photo the camera took, you couldn't help but smile in nostalgia. and your smile infecting him.

The pictures dated from when it was his tenth birthday till the first year of senior high school. one by one you and him skim over the hundred photos.

Majority of the saved pictures were you, it seemed like Ino had a liking in taking stolen pictures of you, too. Whether you were going down the green slide or studying for senior exams.

You notice there were barely any pictures of him saved in the gallery. The few images that you found of him was when he was with you. You either taking the picture yourself and pulling him in the cameras view, or the secretly taken photos you had managed to take of him when he didn't catch you.

He really did take his old promise to heart.

While he and you enjoyed the feeling of thinking about the memories you had made together, the sudden ringing of your phone alarm disrupted you both.

"Ah, shit.. Completely forgot about that." You murmur. You reach for your phone and turn the alarm off as you stand up and take you bag, slinging it over your shoulder.

"Oh? Where 'r you going?" He asks out of curiosity, "sorry, that's a secret!.. Well, sorry Ino. I got to go, I swear we'll finish our movie marathon tomorr ow!" He only nods, and you rush out of his apartment, shouting a "bye!" Out the way.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. . . .   　　˚　　 *　

Ino was no idiot. He knew you were going back to your oh-so lucky partner. The alarm was probably a reminder for an upcoming date.

Talking about your partner..

when your relationship with your significant other went public back in your second year of senior high, you dropped the largest bombshell on everybody you knew or knew you.

on him.

If it wasn't crystal clear, Ino was sooo in love with you… it started from a "crushmate" years ago and is still going on as "one and only". heck, everybody knew! it was that crystal clear!

but you, sweet you, was sooo blind! sooo oblivious it even hurt for everyone to watch!

he blames it on himself somebody else confessed to you and took your heart away from his. maybe he didn't show what he felt for you enough. As much as he loved to talk the truth, he was petrified of telling you what he feels, petrified you'd reject him— possibly leave him, even. he knows you would never do that, but the thought that you might makes it that he doesn't want to take his chance.

This doesn't mean he didn't actually show his love to you, he did! he showed his love to you like a photographer would. If there was something people knew, photographers wouldn't waste their effort and time on taking pictures for somebody just for nothing! even if said person was a close friend or family member. but he, he gave his effort and time into taking pictures of you! he even has three cameras devoted to you!

He knows he should've stopped loving you after you were now taken, he knows he should drop the "best friend" title, as as people say, "your lover is your best friend.", that the fact you had a best friend and a partner sounded weird.. he knows he should have tried to kill his feelings off, but he couldn't. he just can't. after all, he was hopelessly in love with you, and when you're hopelessly in love with someone, said someone was the only one you would care about.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. . . .   　　˚　　 　　*　　

What Ino expected the next morning when he had just walked out of his bathroom after a morning shower was the continuation of your's and his movie marathon, like you had swore. He definitely did not expect for you to call him, and when he heard your cracked voice silently asking— almost sounding like a plead— if he could come over, he was already going as fast as he could put on clothes while asking you to wait. his mind could only hope to believe thee sound of your voice was due to his or your's phone speaker.

After ten minutes, you hear a knock on your door. so you open your phone and message Ino to "come in, the door is open." the mental exhaustion infecting your body too much so that you don't have the energy to get up from sitting on your living room couch.

You hear him call your name. And there he was, concern clear on his face, his hand holding a plastic bag filled with your favorite snacks. "M' sorry for being late… jus' wanted to buy you a little somethi—oh." before you know it, he was sitting beside you.

When he asked what was wrong, you tried, really tried to tell him the story of it, but with the side effect of your cries, your throat would close, and when it didn't, it stung when you talked. Your best friend noticed and instead told you to tell him after you calmed down, but you 'calming down' didn't seem close. Even when you tried to stop the flowing tears, it was like a broken faucet that wouldn't close.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. . . .   　　˚　　 　　*

twirling around your full-body mirror, you smile in confidence as you managed to dress and doll yourself up in just an hour, it was one of your biggest accomplishments, really. now all you had to do was to go to their apartment to meet up and go to the date they made for the both of you!

You walk out of your apartment and lock the door. the thought of you and your lover finally on a date after months made you happily walk like red riding hood to the elevator with the happiest aura people could feel and see. it was probably infectious, too.

Walking in the secluded park where your partner had texted you to go to, you were met with surprise when you saw them sitting on a patterned picnic blanket. with somebody else.

You call their name out with a wavering voice.

your "lover" looks behind when they hear their name, and to their own surprise their eyes meet yours. when they quickly stand up, the person besides them look to where they were looking at.

The stranger's face expression changes when your partner shouts out a pet name to call you and now said stranger was the one to shout, pulling and turning your partner to face them before spouting out curses.

you hear your partner exclaim they had texted the wrong number and "It must've had sent it to the both of you!" before everything blurs out.

you were thankful they were fighting instead of looking at you because you ran. you ran as fast as you possibly could, your mind panicking, only thinking of getting back to your apartment as soon as possible. too ashamed to let anyone see you in whatever state you were in.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆. . . .   　　˚　　 　　*

This was the note I put in.. I was stressinh

Not proof read

[interstellarsystem]

Little Plural Things

Systems can present in a lot of different ways. Sometimes, being a system can be loud and obvious if you're naturally more overt and/or out about yourselves as plural. Sometimes, it can be quiet and barely noticeable, but still there--just harder to see. Our system is fairly obvious if we're unmasked, but there are still things that escape even our own knowledge when we're masking as hard as we can. Little things that to us, remind us that our system is undeniably real. This is a post about those experiences we've had with barely-noticeable signs of a system.

Not every system will relate to these experiences, some might feel similarly about a few points, some may have others of their own entirely, some might not know or not have anything like the experiences we mention, and that's all part of being plural. No two systems are mirror images of each other. This is a post about our experiences.

1. Handwriting

Recently, we've had it brought to our attention that we have different handwriting. We don't write with a pen/pencil often, but we were asked to fill out a worksheet for our psychologist recently. She told us that whoever in our system wants to contribute to it can, and suggested that we signify who wrote what in some way--to which we chose different pencil colours for different headmates. We took the worksheet home and put things on it depending on who was in the front and if they wanted to.

It turned out, that some of our writing widely differs from each other. Out of the 6 people who wrote on the sheet, most of them were wildly different. Rift and Martin wrote the most tidily, with Rift's writing looking more "proper" and "adult". I (Vince) apparently am not the best at neat writing but I managed to be better than what our "normal" writing is like from what we remember. Merlin wrote messily like he was writing very fast. Mystery wrote with very large letters with sharp angles that overall made it look like it was written by a child new to writing. Which makes absolute sense. It's not a child, but its hands in-headspace are bigger than ours and that was the actual first time it had written anything on paper since it got here.

Somehow, it took until our psychologist pointed it out for us to notice how different it was.

2. Vocabulary Choices

Something we are able to notice sometimes is how our vocabulary and sometimes sentence structure changes based on who is speaking. Some obvious examples are our British headmates substituting "bloody" for other words as an exclamation and the difference between what some of our headmates would call a "chip" or a "fry".

Other times though, it's more subtle. Sometimes there's certain phrases that will just have a word or two swapped out and it does tend to point toward who is fronting even if people do use multiple of these. Some examples are:

"I suppose" vs "I think" vs "I believe"

"Kinda" vs "Kind of" vs "Sort of" vs "Sorta"

"Recently" vs "A bit ago"

"Sleepy" vs "Tired"

"Lol" vs "Haha" vs "Lmao" vs a keysmash (Even though these are text-based they are quite telling.)

"Quite" vs "Very" (Speaking of the above.)

Getting more subtle with them, some other examples are:

"You know" vs "Y'know"

"Uh" vs "Um"

"Uh-Huh" vs "Mhm"

Sometimes typing is influenced too. The amount of em-dahses within the text, the consistency of proper punctuation, how mechanical the text feels, how many run-on sentences there are and even how much tends to be written in one message/post can all point toward different people being in control.

3. Accidental Accents and Inflections

While accents are usually very obvious, we're generally good at masking them. Generally.

Due to us living in Australia, our headmates with accents straight from London don't stick out too bad when they're struggling to mask, but they are still noticeable to those around us who know we're plural. Passerby on the street or people who don't see us often don't think much of it, but certain people we are close to know that a few people in our system find it harder to mask and can tell when they're fronting very easily because of it.

Even if we are masking our accents properly, some parts of the way we speak still come out. Some of us end sentences on a higher-pitch more often due to what our accent generally has us do and some end more on lower-pitch notes when speaking. Some of us put emphasis on certain syllables differently. There's lots of little things that go into language that make it hard to completely mask.

4. Food Choices

More of a noticeable one, but something we tend to brush off as "just a bad batch" when it happens. Some of us like and dislike different foods and drinks, some of us to an extreme degree.

Mystery hates the brand of juice we normally buy and thought that it might've just been past expiry (it was not) or just a bad batch of the juice, but they're consistently the only one who doesn't like it.

Rave likes spicy food much more than the rest of us because they have a harder time tasting it. I on the other hand can't handle spicy food at all and am worse with it than the others in my system.

Some of us favour different brands of food and some of us might like/dislike textures of food differently too.

5. Default Facial Expressions

Different resting facial expressions are something we hardly notice because we don't look in a mirror often due to dysphoria. What we do know though, is that some of us just rest our faces differently.

I look more stern and tired than others. I have a bit of an angrier resting expression.

Martin looks a little bit more anxious due to being an anxiety-holder, but he also looks softer and kinder.

Crowley also looks tired but has less of a stern look and more of an almost blank one.

6. Body Language

This is one we don't know too much about because we can only get knowledge on this from other people, but most of our headmates have a different "vibe" by the way they carry themselves.

I end up seeming to-the-point and business-like.

Martin reads as being very anxious even if he's not always.

Crowley reads as smug.

Mal reads as if he's planning something mischevious and silly.

We've been told that Filigree just reads as "gay".

We're not sure what actions make us seem this way, but some of us can be clocked by others around us as fronting without even talking first. I don't know how people do it, but it's something in our body language.

7. Clothing Choices

A few of us have different clothing choices--Crowley still wears sunglasses everywhere due to light sensitivity and wears dark colours, I prefer to wear button-up shirts as opposed to more casual things, Martin prefers hoodies that are lighter in colour and Merlin prefers to dress in pink and black and more fluffy textures.

We don't have too many clothes overall so to others it does just look like we're cycling through our wardrobe, and sometimes we are, but there's certain styles some of us tend to lean toward more than others.

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Some of these might seem quite noticeable, and maybe they are if you know we're a system, but people change a lot so once again some of this is much more subtle than it sounds. People who don't know that you're a system hardly ever notice, and if they do they put it to "having an off day" and leave it at that.

We wanted to take some time to appreciate those little things we find it hard to notice, though. And maybe it'll end up helping some other system realise how unique they are as individuals and help fight off the imposter syndrome like these realisations did for us.