#at the end of the tunnel

[amerwitch]

i want

i want to write more.  i have my two projects i am working on now, “The Work” and my Supernatural/Schitt's Creek fic.  i know i want to make the fic smutty.  never done that before but, here’s to new things.

i want to write more about my witchcraft.  i’ve been doing this for 20 years, i should be writing about it. 

also, tarot.  i have ideas, i want to put words on paper.

and my blog.  i feel that i keep too much inside and that is not healthy for me.

i really want to get cleaned and organized with my lair.  i got a part cleaned up after an depressing October and, i feel so much better for it.

i want to work out more.  i want to get back to the moving meditation of dancing in my underwear.  i miss that.

and, just plain meditation.  i want to get into that groove.

going back to working out, i want to get stronger.  i got some videos stashed away and i know it will be a slow walk up a hill, but to get to the top!

and another tattoo.  i have it planed out and there is an idea for a third.

so, why all this?  why post all these ideas?

Wednesday morning the thought of suicide crossed my mind.  and the day spend half doom scrolling and cleaning and today it hit me.

i am queer.  no matter how i slice the cake, i am queer.  i am who ThEy are coming for.  i am who ThEy want gone.

and no, it’s not happening.  i feel that i can’t do anything to change the greater world but, that’s not who i am.  i am very much “Keep your backyard tidy before fucking with your neighbor’s.” and that’s what i’m doing. 

i am working on myself, as an act of defiance.  me becoming a better person, a better queer person, being out there in this red state i live in, living my best life, laughing at the fuckers, that is an act of defiance.

is this all i can do?  motherfucker, i am trying my best.  i am not helping anyone by living in a pit of despair.  let me get out of this pit, then i can fuck someone up.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

10 years ago, I was watching my Potential and Opportunities dissolve and evaporate in an ocean of cheap gin and expensive whiskey.

But 5 years ago, I was in Rehab.

One of the exercises they had us perform was to imagine ourselves happy, 5 years in the future.

Many of us in that room had forgotten how to imagine nice things happening to them. A few snorted (well, I snorted), finding the notion that we’d even still be around in 5 years grimly humorous.

For about half of us, it was the last stop on the way down.

But I indulged the therapist. I was there, after all, because I did not want to die. So, I imagined myself, 5 years hence.

Happy.

It came to me all at once; an artistic remix on Norman Rockwell’s Freedom From Want, reframed with myself placing food at the table.

Sunday Dinner At My Place, I answered, when it came my turn to share my fantasy. I was asked what food I imagined eating.

It’s not the meal itself, I said, it’s the implications framed around it. Sunday Dinner At My Place means that I have a Place. It means that I have Family that will actually speak to me and friends who actually want to see me. It means money enough not just to feed myself but others too. It means having the time to spare to take the time preparing the meal.

A lot of nodding heads all around me. A struck chord. Many people with no Place, in that place. Nowhere that would lament their leaving.

5 years hence, as I lay down to sleep in my Home, with my Wife and my Son, surrounded by my Art and my Flowers, I reflect.

It was a long road. It was hard. We lost people. So many people. There were long days and long nights and hospital stays. Angry arguments with ghosts. I changed, in ways I never hoped for, or expected. Good ways, finally, for once. Slowly, against the backdrop of a world in chaos, I found my mind.

Sometimes, My Wife wondered aloud, what she did to deserve me. After some stumbling with my feelings, I eventually settled on an answer.

I’m a Rescue.

She gave me a Home.

And, so, I gave her a Family.

It seemed fair

This Sunday, my folks, which whom I have not had a shouting match in years, will come over for dinner. We will cook and eat together. My Friend became My Wife, and she took a piece of me and with it she made Our Son. There will be many hugs, and no violence. Good Things Happened.

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t know what the future holds.

don’t give up yet, ok?

It could get good, even.

[team-apostasy-agent-jack]

The rain stopped. I turned on the radio, but it only seems to get one station out here…

[nickitively]

Incredible prose

[windfalling]

1.02 // 1.06 // 1.08 The Stranger vs. Sol on recognizing and differentiating Osha and Mae

[uh-ohspaghettio]

[degenerateshinji]

(read left to right)

in a dream, on a wave.

[fairydrowning]

in order to live a happy life, you must romanticize everything (and see a good therapist).

[grandquest]

Eyecatch redraw

[baddybaddyadardaddy]

see here's the thing about Adar...

MY MAN JUST KEEPS WINNING!!

Sauron at the beginning of the Second Age? STABBED.

Orodruin? ERUPTED.

Eregion? SIEGED.

The Ring of Power? SECURED.

Like ffs, if the elves had just DONE WHAT HE ASKED, my man would have dealt with Ost-in-Edhil's Sauron infestation by LUNCHTIME.

JUST LET HIM COOK.

[amerwitch]

court day!

court was today.  court?  why did i have to go to court today?  to show up as an heir to my father. to settle some estates. Grandma died in 2012.  nothing was done with The Farm. Larry (my uncle) died in 2017.  nothing was done with The Farm. my family commandeered Grandma’s house.  no one was living in it, since my uncle died, and our trailer was going to shit. then my father died. so,…

[jasminedtookes]

Lee Know ── .✦ 合 (HOP) UNVEIL : TRACK 'Youth (리노)'

[acidicalchemist]

oingo boingo blinkie set :)

bonus blinkies

post that inspired me to make these

[team-apostasy-agent-jack]

(Long transcript below cut!)

[Video - IMG_3612]

[The camera is on the ground at the edge of a clearing in the forest, facing the inside of the clearing. It’s raining heavily. Jack is facing Darkrai with a bag of rocks. He isn’t using his Pokémon. He throws a rock at Darkrai’s body.

“You ruined my life! I can’t even sleep a full nights sleep because of you!”

Jack tosses another rock. This one misses as Darkrai floats to the side.

“Stay still so I can- woah!”

Jack ducks as a dark pulse blurs past above his head.

“Nice try-“

A second pulse hits him square in the chest. Jack stumbles backwards but keeps his footing just barely. He grabs a dream ball from his pocket and tosses it in between him and Darkrai. The Altaria released from it chirps.

“Cumulus! I need your help. Ice beam!”

A beam of cold energy erupts from Cumulus’s beak, hitting Darkrai as it fails to dodge. It retaliates with a shadow ball that knocks Cumulus out and away from Jack. He throws his hands up to block the dark pulse sent his way, but the force of it knocks him to the ground. Darkrai prepares a shadow ball.

Before it can throw it, Anna runs to Jack. There’s a flash of light that blinds the camera. By the time that the video is visible again, Anna, now an Espeon, uses dazzling gleam. Darkrai throws its hands in front of its eyes, temporarily blinded. Jack scrambles to his feet as fast as he can.

“We need to get out of here!”

He grabs Anna and recalls Cumulus, picking up his camera and running out of the forest. Darkrai, hot on his trail, tries to hit him with sludge bombs, dark pulses and shadow balls. They miss or are blocked by light screens from Anna. Jack kicks the rowboat on the shore into the water, jumping into it. He releases a chandelure from another dream ball.

“Lumiere, fire blast in the direction of the shore!”

The propulsion from the fire blast gives the boat enough of a boost to get out of range of Darkrai’s attacks. It hovers at the shore, staring at the departing vessel. The camera turns to face Jack as he fiddles with it to turn it off.]

[The video ends.]

[smokinghorse]

To another coming year of Jean in 2025! I hope next year is good to all of us.

[rarely--motivated]

3 years (/dra) late, but heres part 1 of my @isat-secretsanta-2024 for @crows-sorrows !!!!!!! i absolutely adore post-canon sif exploration <3 (also bonnie is there too bc they Can)