#at the beginning. in reference to HER SPECIFICALLY

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Tips for Writing Concisely

“Instant prose” can come from being forced to write papers of a particular length or being told that a paragraph must always contain exactly five sentences. This habit leads to the opposite of conciseness—wordiness in sentences and redundancy in paragraphs, which can confuse the reader and cloud your ideas.

Write what you mean—nothing more and nothing less.

Trust and respect yourself as a writer enough to not overstate what you mean.

Study sentences in your first draft to see what you can delete without losing meaning.

Read each paragraph aloud. Be sure that all sentences support the topic sentence.

Keep concrete, specific examples. Cut out extra words, empty phrases, weak qualifiers, negative constructions, and unnecessary “to be” verbs.

Also, watch for sentences and clauses beginning with it is, this is, and there are.

EXAMPLE 1

Wordy: The economic situation of Anne Moody was also a crucial factor in the formation of her character.

Concise: Anne Moody’s poverty also helped form her character.

EXAMPLE 2

Wordy: Frequently, a chapter in a book reveals to the reader the main point that the author desires to bring out during the course of the chapter.

Concise: A chapter’s title often reveals its thesis.

WEAK INTENSIFIERS & QUALIFIERS

Sentences are more forceful without them.

Notice how much clearer the following sentences are without the words in brackets:

We found the proposal [quite] feasible.

The remark, though unkind, was [entirely] accurate.

The scene was [extremely] typical.

That behavior is [fairly] unique for such an intelligent animal.

The first line [definitely] establishes that the father had been drinking.

SPECIFIC & CONCRETE Make sure that sentences are specific and concrete in their conclusions instead of raising more questions:

Wordy: In both Orwell’s and Baldwin’s essays, the feeling of white supremacy is very important. (This raises the questions: How is it important? Why?)

Concise: Both Orwell and Baldwin trace the consequences of white supremacy. (This revision states its point conclusively.)

"TO BE" Avoid unnecessary use of “to be” verbs:

Wordy: There are two pine trees which are growing behind this house.

Concise: Two pine trees grow behind this house.

REDUNDANT WORDS/PHRASES

Wordy: Any student could randomly sit anywhere.

Concise: Students could sit anywhere. (If they could sit “anywhere,” seating was clearly “random.”)

NEGATIVE CONSTRUCTIONS TO POSITIVE

Wordy: Housing for married students is not unworthy of consideration.

Concise: Housing for married students is worthy of consideration.

SIMPLIFY

Wordy: This is a quote from Black Elk’s autobiography that discloses his prophetic powers.

Concise: This quote from Black Elk’s autobiography discloses his prophetic powers.

Source ⚜ More: Notes & References ⚜ Writing Basics ⚜ Avoid Wordiness

[yuesya]

“You need to eat me.”

The white-haired girl in front of him blinks, “That’s an odd way to start a conversation.”

Eligius briefly chokes at that uncaring, blasé response. “… I’m being serious here.”

“So you are.” Even so, the girl’s voice remains unperturbed, and her expression does not change. “Would your strange request have anything to do with the visitors who passed through recently?”

… That is a remarkably understated way of referring to the most recent Sarkaz travelers who’d visited Arkos. Travelers who’d come specifically in search of Miss Salome, too. From the heavy robes and tight wrappings that consisted their attire, from the necrosis-type Arts that they commanded, it had been obvious that they were Nachzehrers.

Nachzehrers –beings who were the very personification of war; gruesome, relentless warriors known to be devoted to the battlefield, who reveled in the slaughter.

But the standing policy of Arkos is that all visitors are welcome. Save for those who threaten the stability and wellbeing of the settlement itself, or commit crimes within its borders.

And so the Nachzehrers had been allowed to enter Arkos, just as so many others had been allowed before them, and no doubt far more would be allowed after in the future.

Eligius had regarded their Nachzehrer visitors with wariness and curiosity in the beginning. Which swiftly morphed into shock and outright alarm, when they had accosted Salome on one of her routine patrols around the mountains.

“You’re Herleva’s daughter, aren’t you?”

“My name is Naftali, a soldier who once served under Commander Herleva of the Withering Court. I apologize that it took so long for us to find you –I’ve come to bring you home.”

…

Salome had refused to leave with them.

… Much to the relief of many, Eligius included. Though their numbers were steadily increasing, it was undeniable that Salome was the heart of Arkos, and if she left, then in all likelihood they would end up scattering across the land once more. Misfits and travelers and wanderers with no place to belong, and no place to rest.

(No place to call home.)

…

Eligius had known that Salome was Sarkaz for a long time now, but he hadn’t realized that she was Nachzehrer Sarkaz. She certainly didn’t look the part; Nachzehrers were said to possess bodies that easily withered and rotted away like the necrosis Arts that they commanded, and Salome did not display any of those traits. She had a pair of distinctive Sarkaz horns sitting on her head, and that was it. Were it not for those curved horns, she probably could’ve passed as a Pythian girl with her pointed ears and long, snake-like tail covered in glittering white scales–

Or so Eligius had thought.

Because he’d seen it, the other day. Salome usually wore clothing that covered most of her skin, including a veil across her face, but he’d glimpsed her taking off her gloves –only to reveal blackened fingertips, eerily reminiscent of necrotic rot, which caused Eligius’ blood to run cold.

Was it because of her Nachzehrer blood? Was she –was she somehow rotting away? Was her Pythian blood not enough to offset the horrifying effects of her inheritance?

Wracking his brains and ruminating over what he’d overheard from the Nachzehrer visitors, there was only one potential solution that Eligius could think of. Through devouring the dead, Nachzehrers were able to add the strength of the fallen to their own, so–

“You need to eat me,” he repeats. Because if she doesn’t, if her situation worsens, then…

Salome arches an eyebrow. “Do you want to be eaten?”

…

… No. Of course not.

The day that Eligius had left Kazimierz, a broken husk of a knight who had failed his family and could no longer even properly swing a blade anymore… Eligius had thought that there no longer remained anything left for him to protect. Not that he even possessed the strength to protect anything, not as a disgraced, crippled knight driven out of his homeland.

Fate had led him to Arkos, eventually. He’d aimlessly followed a merchant caravan as a cheap hired hand, and somehow ended up staying in Arkos when a Sarkaz girl killed the head of the caravan. The man had a sexual proclivity aimed towards children, and had acted on those urges in Arkos –Salome had sliced the despicable merchant into bloody pieces for it.

Eligius had thought of his days as a knight in Kazimierz, of all the harsh training he’d undergone… only to be helpless in face of injustice and wrongdoing all the same. A knight must be honorable above all else. But what worth was there in honor when it was something that could be traded and bought by the monolithic corporations that ruled Kazimierz?

Arkos… is not perfect. The buildings are shabby and run-down, and the rooftops have a tendency to leak when it rains. There is no particular schedule for when merchants are passing through, and resources are always running tight. Sometimes, brash mercenaries end up causing trouble, even with the threat of Salome hanging over their heads.

But at some point, Arkos had grown to be precious to Eligius. The tenacity of the people that lived here, with all their storied pasts, and the young leader who never allowed the opinions of others to prevent her from doing what must be done.

Eligius is no longer a knight. With a body had been ravaged by vicious poisoning and missing his dominant sword arm, his days as a knight of glorious Kazimierz are long over.

But even so, there must be a way that he could still protect what was important to him. Even if he wasn’t the one holding the sword himself.

Eligius squares his shoulders and looks towards Salome determinedly. He knows that he is not the only one who is willing to become her strength through being devoured by her, but it’s better that a useless cripple like him becomes the first to die, so that the others–

“You don’t look like you want to die,” Salome says. Then, turns around to pick up a… shovel? From behind her? “Here.”

Eligius falters, automatically accepting the dull shovel with his sole remaining hand, “What is this?”

“A shovel,” Salome responds. Fair, but that’s not what Eligius meant– “Seeing as you have enough time on your hands to be thinking about useless things, you can go work with the others on developing the terraced gardens first.”

Eligius gives a small start, “But you–”

“I’m not interested in cannibalism. Let me know once you’ve figured out how to grow potatoes properly here.”

With that said, Salome turns and walks away.

Leaving Eligius standing in the street by himself, holding a shovel.

…

… It’s nothing but a rusty shovel, given to him haphazardly by a girl who doesn’t even bother to toss a second glance back towards him as she departs. But for some reason, the shovel rests in his hand with a greater weight than the sword he’d once held during his knighthood ceremony, and there is a strange emotion welling up within his chest–

Eligius tightens his grip on the shovel, exhaling slowly.

[christine-ye]

Kamen Rider Blade character name meanings

I was watching an anime lyric video on YouTube last night and recognized one of the kanji in the lyrics also being used for one of the main characters' names in Blade and ended up falling down a rabbit hole (aka Jisho.org) so I made a guide breaking down the Blade cast's names because 1. when do I ever not think about this show and 2. language stuff is fun to look into (also included Shiori and Kotaro because why not, slight spoilers incoming)

♠ Kazuma Kenzaki (剣崎一真)/Kamen Rider Blade ♠

Kenzaki (剣崎): ken (剣) - sword (spade itself also derives from the Spanish and Italian spada meaning 'sword'); zaki (崎) - small peninsula, promontory

Kazuma (一真): kazu (一) - one; ma (真) - true/truth, reality, genuineness (could refer to Kenzaki's genuine love for humanity and eventually Hajime); both characters together could mean "one truth" (could refer to Kenzaki seeking the one true way to allow Hajime to keep living without having the world be destroyed during the finale) or "one reality" (could refer to the current nature of the Battle Fight preventing Kenzaki and Hajime from seeing each other again despite them defying their fates)

Blade: the main part of a sword whose name is derived from the Old English blæd meaning 'leaf' (also hence why the spade is replaced with the leaf in German playing cards), related to the Suit of Swords (Spades) in the Minor Arcana

♦ Sakuya Tachibana (橘朔也)/Kamen Rider Garren ♦

Tachibana (橘): mandarin orange (specifically the Citrus tachibana, also explains why one of his themed drinks from the Kamen Rider Diner was orange-flavored)

Sakuya (朔也): saku (朔) - new moon (symbolizes new beginnings in astrology, which ties into Tachibana's return to being Garren again after initially trying to quit and his character song literally being called Rebirth), the first day of the lunar calendar; ya (也) - to be (classical form), also a common suffix in Japanese male names

Garren: either a corruption of the English word 'currency' in Japanese or phonetically sounds similar to the French carreau meaning 'diamond' (might be a stretch though), related to the Suit of Coins (Diamonds) in the Minor Arcana

♥ Hajime Aikawa (相川始)/Kamen Rider Chalice ♥

Aikawa (相川): ai (相) - mutuality, togetherness (also phonetically sounds the same as the Japanese word for love, which ties into Hajime's character arc and Chalice's heart motif); kawa (川) - river, stream; both characters together could mean "river of mutuality" or "river of togetherness"

Hajime (始): beginning (ironically contrasts his true role as humanity's destroyer)

Chalice: holy cup or goblet whose name is derived from the Latin calix meaning 'cup', related to the Suit of Cups (Hearts) in the Minor Arcana (also symbolic of Hajime's growing love and humanness throughout the show)

♣ Mutsuki Kamijo (上条睦月)/Kamen Rider Leangle ♣

Kamijō (上条): kami (上) - above, up; jō (条) - article, clause

Mutsuki (睦月): mutsu (睦) - intimate, friendly, harmonious (could refer to Mutsuki learning to control the Spider Undead's power with Tachibana's help); tsuki (月) - moon, month; both characters together mean the ancient Japanese name for January

Leangle: an Aboriginal club/polearm-type weapon, related to the Suit of Wands (Clubs) in the Minor Arcana

💻 Shiori Hirose (広瀬栞) 💻

Hirose (広瀬): hiro (広) - vast, broad, spacious; se (瀬) - rapids

Shiori (栞): bookmark, guidebook (could refer to her role as the gang's resident Undead tracker and Kenzaki's closest ally at BOARD)

🥛 Kotaro Shirai (白井虎太郎) 🥛

Shirai (白井): shira (白) - white (callback to his love for milk mayhaps /j); i (井) - well, town, community (could refer to him befriending and providing hospitality for Kenzaki and Shiori after BOARD kicks the bucket, also farmhouse trio ftw)

Kotarō (虎太郎): ko (虎) - tiger, drunkard (for milk obviously /j); ta (太) - thick; rō (郎) - common suffix in Japanese male names

[kinghijinx22]

Why Silent Hill 3 is my big favorite- a terrifying horror game about woman's experiences and the fears that come from existing as a woman in a patriarchal society

Silent Hill 3 is probably my favorite Silent Hill game and one of my favorite games of all time, and it has a story and themes that I've always really vibed with. It tells a remarkably progressive story for it's time that handles some intense themes that are still relevant even today, about experiences that a lot of woman go through and the fears that come from existing as a woman in a patriarchal society, what it's like having your own agency and bodily autonomy taken away from you, forced pregnancy and sexual assault, how harmful patriarchal societies are and this game really getting into the religious flavor of patriarchy in particular.

It's an incredibly scary game that uses a feminine sort of horror to great effect, with the design of the other world being as bloody as it is and the monster designs being representative of this. I mean there is a type of creature that are literally supposed to look like fetuses that start getting bigger throughout the game as the birth of God draws near and the giant worm boss for lack of a better way of putting, literally being a giant penis. I think the main complaint that I hear from people about this game is how slow the story is in the first half of the game, but I think the whole getting home late at night as a young woman contributes a lot to what this game is saying. And I absolutely love how this game ends with Heather literally aborting God and fighting it as the final boss, symbolizing her fully taking control of her life and rejecting all of the harmful expectations that were forced onto her. Main antagonist Claudia is such a tragic character though, someone who was so brainwashed by town's religion into think that someone HAS to give birth to God so hard that she did it herself and she suffered for it.

Also while not as intentional considering when it was written and they probably couldn't even write about this stuff if they wanted to, something that I think is worth noting is that I've heard from a lot of trans people who relate to this game as well and I can really see it. Considering it's about people who Heather knows from a past life, coming back to remind her of that past life and forcing it onto her, and Claudia referring to Heather as Alessa could be interpreted as deadnaming Heather. But yeah I've always really loved and connected with this game for how well it handles it's themes about woman's experiences and I think it's really cool how many trans people have been able to relate to it with those specific experiences as well.

Another of my favorite things about Silent Hill 3 is the main character Heather, because she really is one of the coolest characters that I've always really related to. Her struggles are incredibly relatable, but she's also inspiring in how she overcomes them and is always so confident. In fact I appreciate how her and her father subvert societal gender roles in opposite directions, with Heather being as confident and extroverted as she is, probably more then any other Silent Hill protagonist and willing to stand up to all of the men in the story like Douglas in the beginning, Vincent and Leonard, along with all of the monsters she has to fight. And Harry being a single parent who is as gentle and caring as he is, with his one track mind of looking as his daughter, he's kind of both a father and a mother in that way, and also being as physically weak as he is and the opposite of a action hero. She also easily has the most personality of any Silent Hill protagonist, like this girl is overflowing with charisma and is even a little jokey. In fact another detail that I like is how much personality comes through in her examine dialogue, where you actually get to hear her thoughts on everything instead of just basic observation "this is a thing" that the other games in the series do. Heather has opinions on everything, but how she's feeling throughout the game is also conveyed. The dialogue of her observations in the first half of the game has a much more playful and hopeful tone to it, but after Harry dies she becomes much more pessimistic, can only see the negatives in everything and just doesn't seem to care anymore.

Heather is an incredibly well written and nuanced character, and I'll be honest that this is the game I least want to see be remade because I know that they would find a way to fuck up the writing of her character and handling of the themes of this game. Even after the Silent Hill 2 remake being as good as it is, one of Blooperteams biggest flaws is being incapable of handling anything to do with woman's experiences or perspective. SH2 used to be my fav, but I came to realize that it was mostly just because it was the popular one and that I vibe a lot more with SH3 and 4. Especially because SH2 tells a story about misogyny but makes it all about the perpetrator rather then the victim, unlike Silent Hill 3 which does actually tell the story of someone on the receiving end of that type of violence and objectification. SH3 and 4 are my personal favorites, 3 because Heather is best protagonist and I really appreciate it's themes which are handled perfectly, and SH4 because it has a really cool narrative and horror concepts. I know opinions on SH4 are really split, and while I think there are some gameplay things that are jank, I love it's story and premise so much.

[ask-follower-jade]

Hmmm... yea, that'll do...

-They closed their eyes for a few moments in contemplations before they spoke, and then began plucking at the strings of their guitar, a warm melody filling their hut-

-Not long after they started, their voice joins the melody, as they begin to softly sing the words of the song- (more about the song under a cut)

-Notably, while most of the song is sung out to nothing, they turn to face Denny while they sung the second verse- (second verse also under the cut)

Thoughts on that one lass?

[The song in question, is "here's a health to the company", specifically the cover done by The Longest Johns, lyrics can be found here, the song can be found here]

[Second verse of the song is as follows]

["Here's a health to the dear lass that I love so well For her style and her beauty, sure none can excel There's a smile on her countenance as she sits on my knee There's no man in this wide world as happy as me"]

[Man, i wonder who that'd be referring to coming from Jade] [Oh, also "countenance" just means face]

[what do you mean keep reading links don't work on a reblog, why even give me the option????] [oh they do work they are just weird...]

Someone approaches Jade from behind when they are outside their hut. The gentle voice sounds familiar.

"Hi~"

Oh, hello?

-They quickly turn to face whoever is talking to them-

[lesbianpegbar]

ayane you need to get a grip. ayane please. for me

[thepandalion]

help I'm going insane over deltarune and Undertale stuff again

[80s-prometheus]

decided to throw my hat in the ring and try making a playlist

it's mostly made up of songs i think lisa and creature would like, songs that I think would fit them, and songs I think fit the vibe of the film

[misericordel]

"Lady Veyle."

He was torn. She had gotten badly injured after their last conversation—the very thing he worried about when she told him, so earnestly, that she wished to take action with her own hands, for the people of Lilium. All he could do was respect her wishes at the time, and the unwavering resolve she had shown.

And yet, part of him wonders: would she have ended up in this state, had he decided to accompany her? To join the fight as well?

Those questions continued to hound him even now. As he considers leaving again, to search for a truth that seemed so close, yet well beyond their reach.

"I'll be going to look for more information on the Upright Man. To try and get to the root of all... this." A pause, and then, "Please. Take care of yourself? Don't risk your health—don't do anything too dangerous."

He doesn't mean to coddle, or tell her what to do. But surely, she would remember their promise. Remember that she also had loved ones waiting for her back home.

"diamant." she regards him wearily in return. she is happy to see him alive and well of course, but she knows far too well that she has betrayed the promise she made with him. certainly she had come back like she said she would.

but sitting in the infirmary with a blanket on her lap, she recognizes that she had come far closer to death than she should have chanced. she had broken their promise, to an extent. "mm." she nods softly with her hands in her lap, pressing her thumbs against each other. he has the right to be angrier with her, but there is none of that frustration she expects in his voice.

veyle does not address her own shortcomings, avoiding speaking of them entirely. he does not ask, so she does not answer.

"be careful." she looks up at him with a worried gaze, inquiring of his safety instead. "pasithee is more of a threat than any of us could have first thought so just…" she pauses, considering how to word this. "don't do anything without thinking about it first. you have to come back again."

[fayevalcntine]

Since I already pissed off enough people, I would also like to add that using Anne Rice's reason for writing Interview With The Vampire as a way to process her grief over her deceased daughter isn't a solid argument to make for even book!Louis' position as a mother when within the book itself, Louis highlights having had romantic feelings for Claudia. The book specifies them kissing on the lips multiple times, some very weird descriptions whenever they both hold each other near, and even Louis repeatedly lamenting on whether or not Claudia is his child given his own complicated feelings towards her in the second half of the book. Louis' feelings for Claudia never start off or develop as maternal, either. He's honest in saying how he and Lestat treated her like a doll to dress up and play with for their own entertainment.

Interview With The Vampire is a Gothic novel, with all the weirdness that comes with it. The show itself takes to blurring the lines between Claudia, Louis and Lestat: Claudia insists on being referred to as their sister once she matures mentally past her young age, despite the other two still having a responsibility to her as her parents and failing at that. Louis refers to Lestat as "the father" and he and Claudia as his children. Louis and Claudia have practically no boundaries with each other despite being parent and child. Louis enters her mind and talks to her repeatedly despite never asking for permission to even do that, to the point where Claudia has to block him out. Claudia listens in on him and Lestat having sex. In the early years when she was with them it's even hinted at her having slept in the same room with them for several years before getting her own room, despite the two being so comfortable to sneak into each other's coffins and canoodle while Claudia listens in on them.

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread  

Song Of Silver Flame like Night

YA wuxia/xianxia inspired fantasy

a girl in a colonised country with a mysterious seal on her arm left by her mother before she was killed

when a state magician finds her, she escapes with a boy to his school of secret traditional magic practitioners, and discover the secrets her mother left her

powerful demon gods

[arolesbianism]

There's smth rly fun abt having stories based off of dreams because you just have a bunch of dream based worldbuilding that you just sorta have to work with now. Like oh a ring of infinite dragons run through the earth eternally consuming eachother? Guess I have to explain that now. Also that's sick as hell why didn't I think of that while awake

[writers-potion]

Writing Character Accents in Fiction

Hey there, thanks for the question! I speak English as a second language; most English speakers I encounter aren’t native (yes, including fictional people); thus, this is a concern I’ve explored personally when I write. 

I think the core principle regarding accent writing is this: it shouldn’t be distracting. 

For the same reasons why Stephen King prescribes the basic dialogue tag “said” rather than fancier alternatives like “whispered”, “shouted” or “screeched”, dialogue must be first and foremost easy to read. It must flow like a real conversation – the pace and tone are a lot more important than how specific words are being pronounced by the character. 

Focus on what effect the accent has:

Using adjectives to describe their voice in general. Different types of English (American, British, Australian, etc.) will give off a different vibe, also partly dependent on how your character speaks in general:

Lilting: Having a smooth rise and falling quality; sing-song like. Welsh accent is often described as singing. 

Posh: from a high social class. This is the term generally used to describe the upper-class British accent.

Nasal: this happens when the sound goes through somebody’s nose when they’re speaking. North American accents are more nasal than, say, British pronunciations. 

Brash: harsh, loud, indicative of sounding a little rude. 

Slur: speaking indistinctly; words merging into one another.

Using metaphors.

Her voice was cotton and fluffy clouds. 

When he spoke, the ‘r’s scratched the insides of his throat. 

Mentioning their accent with a brief example(s). 

“Would you like to drink some wine?” she said, though her Indian accent gave extra vibration to her ‘w’s and ‘r’s, making the words sound more like ‘vould you like to drrrink some vine’.

“I want some chocolate.” His syllables were choppy and ‘l’s rather flat, saying ‘cho-ko-lit’. 

Some Tips:

Don’t phonically spell out everything. Perhaps give a few examples in the beginning, but stick to standard English spellings. 

Pay attention to word choice, slang, and colloquialisms. 

An Australian person would say “tram”, not “trolley; “runners” instead of “sneakers”

A Canadian may refer to a “fire hall” – what Americans call a firehouse or fire station

If your character comes from a non-Enligsh background:

Use vocabulary from other languages. 

“What time was the exam, ah? Two o’clock? Jiayou!” → putting “ah” or “la” at the end of sentences + Jiayou means “break a leg” in Singlish. 

“I can’t believe that 4-year-olds have their own SNS accounts now.” → “SNS” is short for “social networking service”, a term used to refer to social media in Korea. This would a subtle difference – even though it isn’t technically Korean at all!

Transpose grammar from different languages. 

For example, in French, plural nouns take plural adjectives (whereas in English, you would speak of ‘white cars’, not ‘whites cars’).

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* . ───

💎If you like my blog, buy me a coffee☕ and find me on instagram! Also, join my Tumblr writing community for some more fun.

💎Before you ask, check out my masterpost part 1 and part 2 

[jjk4isen]

ꗃ 𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃, 𝐓𝐖𝐎 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏𝐒 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 .

❝ answer me. did you think of her when you're in bed with me? when you're kissing me and holding me— was she the one on your mind? ❞

summary: it's hard knowing you aren't really the person in toji's heart but loving him was something you still did regardless. as for toji, he thinks he's ready to give you his all.

desc: 2.8k words, f!reader (referred to as ‘mama’), canon compliant i think, takes place after mamaguro's death and before toji’s, age gap (early 20s reader, early 30s toji), baby gumi ahhhhh, sfw, angst to fluff to angst again lol, intended lowercase, think you're tsumiki’s mom but without tsumiki bc the relations would be too complicated and also the second wife erasure in the canon storyline?? yeah it's reserved specifically for this fic, not proof read i fear but pls read it's really interesting i can swear by it lmaoqhdhns

dating a widowed man with a son wasn't easy especially when the said man is still in love with his former wife, or rather, his wife who had died.

love is often beautiful but sometimes it's unfair. it can also be cruel. what other reason would make you still stay despite knowing you'll never measure upto the person who had been here before you?

and you've heard stories about her. she was sweet, so beautiful— not just in her appearance but her entire being was beautiful. there always was an ache in your heart upon just the mention of her name.

so how much more would it have ached for toji?

“mama” the spiky haired boy, barely two years old calls you and you realise the silence in the room. “not mama, i’m nana okay?” sick.

nana. not mama but close enough. it doesn't matter anyway, n and m are just letters and next to each other so how much difference would that make? you're the one that's here after all, are you not?

if there's a lump in your throat and your eyes are burning with unshed tears, you force yourself to ignore.

“okay nana” megumi nuzzles his face into your chest, slowly drifting away to sleep. the boy always liked cuddling with you and it melts your heart immensely.

your hands strand through his dark hair. people always said he's the carbon copy of his dad but you'd like to differ. megumi has his mother's eyes and his hair resembled hers more than it did his dad's.

the thought sends another ache in your chest but you push it away– as you always have.

you recall the last time toji had heard megumi call you “mama”. you had never seen toji that livid. he was never a gentle man to begin with but that night, there was nothing else you've been more scared of.

was he like that to his wife? maybe not.

does that matter though? it's not like toji treats you badly. he's decent and loves you an enough amount. you weren't crazy enough to stay when you're not wanted so that must mean you were something to him right?

you also recall the whispers of pity and condemnation thrown at you for just being with toji. him being a brute is one thing but the difference in age is what people seem to have a problem with. you're so much younger than him and have your whole life ahead of you so why are you entrapping yourself this way?

you disagree though. love doesn't know any age and you definitely aren't naive to be head over heels over a guy just because he's relatively older. no, this was real and genuine.

a faint knock disrupts your train of thoughts. “he sleepin’?” toji nods towards the small boy in your arms and you nod back in return.

taking care not to wake the sleeping kid, you slowly pry his hands away from you and pull over a blanket to cover his small body.

when you make your way towards toji, he wastes no time in pulling you closer “missed you” he mumbles, placing a kiss onto your forehead and suddenly all thoughts plaguing your mind disappears. that's all you could ask for, even if it was just for a moment.

“i missed you more” you whisper back, he only huffs out an amused chuckle.

“got bad news though” a frown finds itself on his lips, decorated by a single scar next to it.

“did you lose all your money again?” toji was a gambling addict, another thing you forced yourself to tolerate just for him.

“sorry, doll. thought i’d win this time” he rubs small circles on your back comfortingly and it makes you a bit uneasy to know that he has his way with you so easily.

“it's alright. i’ll just find another part time job”

“so good to me” toji pulls you into his chest and you let out a sigh— of exhaustion? relief? you couldn't really tell but that's not important, toji had you in his arms.

“i’ll try and think of something too. don't worry your pretty little head too much” he lifts you up with ease. while you're in his arms, you feel the safest.

toji really felt bad this time. he was confident he would win but that stupid horse had to trip and lose its lead, ending up last of all places. he knows luck never favoured him but that's didn't stop him from trying again and again and again.

he also knows how you didn't say anything more than necessary about it but he isn't that much of an idiot either. he sees how your expression falters and your shoulders slump a little more when he comes home with another news of his gambling loss.

this is also why he tries, or rather, tried to quit — one too many times, unbeknownst to you. however, old habits die hard and most of the time (everytime) toji gives into his urge and loses yet again. the cycle keeps happening.

maybe this isn't just about gambling.

with the way you're asleep so soundly next to him after putting his son to sleep and taking care of him too, he is overcomed with yet another feeling to be better for you and megumi alike.

toji isn't a gentle man; everyone knows that, you do too — even more than anybody else but he can't help the familiar pool of warm feelings surging through him the longer he stares at your peaceful state.

he remembers the last time he felt it, with another person. it felt like a lifetime ago.

he also remembers how painful it was when he lost it — the person, the feeling altogether. his hands that were making their way to caress your face stops mid air.

toji knows you deserve so much better. you've been nothing but patient to him, so amazing, so perfect to him. still, he just can't do it yet, just not yet.

he will eventually, he hopes you stay until then.

toji wakes up to an empty bed and his heart sinks a little but the creases and wrinkles on the sheets serve as a reminder that you were really here.

he makes his way towards the kitchen, only finding megumi sitting on a chair next to the dining table.

“hey kid, where's your mama?”

toji freezes. it came out so naturally he didn't realise he said it himself and almost thinks he didn't but megumi's wide eyes prove that he actually did.

“m…mama?” megumi says hesitantly and toji nods this time. “yes, your mama”.

“potty potty!” megumi points to the bathroom and giggles, toji follows suit. the man crouches to his son's eye level and pats his head.

“you love your mama, kid?” toji sees megumi's eyes sparkle as the boy nods enthusiastically “very very much!!”

“yeah? i love your mama too.”

toji smiles to himself, he can't wait to tell that to you.

the next time toji got his pay, he finds himself hesitating. instead of heading towards the race tracks, his feet takes him to a jewellery store.

instead of picking out a slot and testing his luck, he picks out a ring. it's not fancy by any means but he thinks it would be the most beautiful band of metal to exist if it slides into your ring finger.

the tiny ring carries all the heavy feelings he has for you.

──

it was one particular evening when you saw an old man lingering by the front gate. its particular because the warm sunset and the soft cool breeze contrasted the ground breaking truth you find out.

“can i help you?” you ask the old man who looks at you up and down, not making an attempt to hide his distaste of your sight.

“is this where toji zenin lives?” he stares down at you with his scrutinising gaze; it makes you feel small.

“zenin?” you ask, confused. is he referring to toji? but his last name is fushiguro is it not?

“yes toji zenin. i heard he has a son as well. you're not the mother are you?”

is it that obvious? you wonder how the old man figured it out. regardless, you're not about to give him his answers so you stood your ground.

“i’m sorry i don't know what you're talking about.” you turn around, about to head inside when his words make you stop short.

“are you fushiguro?”

that's toji’s last name isn't it? not zenin or whatever he called it. so why is he asking you that? is he implying that you're married to toji?

“no. you have the wrong person.”

“why? did he say not to get involved with anyone from his clan?” the old man draws closer, chucking to himself. you're just there unmoving, trying to comprehend the situation and the words coming from his mouth.

“or did he not tell you that either? did he tell you anything at all?” he stands tall in front of you, tearing away bits of yourself with every word he says.

“when he returns, tell him the clan wants to propose him an offer. you can do that much at least won't you?”

…

and when toji comes home that night with the ring cluched tightly in his fist and inside the pocket of his white pants, the world stills.

he finds you in a state he has never seen you before. you look completely and utterly defeated.

“hey, what's wrong?” his hands come to caress your face so effortlessly, the ring and prior nervousness long forgotten.

“talk to me what's going on?” he looks around and the house seems emptier than usual. your laundry that were usually hanging with his were gone.

your small trinkets you placed around the house to “make it more lively” were nowhere to be found.

and there's a bag in the corner of the room which toji prays and hopes he isn't what he thinks it is.

your hands push away his own that were cupping your face. you're not even looking at him.

“say something damn it!”

you flinch and toji takes a step back. he recalls the last time you trembled in fear — when he got mad megumi called you his mom. he punishes himself for it.

“im sorry. please talk to me.” he isn't touching you now but he wants to. he wants to reach out and pull you close, as he always had done. but now there's an unbearable silence and the small distance between you both felt like lightyears away.

“who's zenin” your voice was meek, barely a whisper but toji's eyes widen. how did you find out about that?

no fuck that, he was supposed to be the one telling you. in his own time.

“i can explain” was all that came out of him. he's nervous, he doesn't know where to start. there's a lot of information to unpack and he's not sure how to do it without hurting you too much.

when he doesn't elaborate, you ask another “who's fushiguro then?” your voice falters a bit and toji curses himself for it.

but he's done running away and keeping things from you. “my… my late wife” he says wryly.

your eyes close and a shaky breath leaves your body, as if he just confirmed your worst suspicions. damn life is so funny isn't it? everything you thought you knew apparently wasn't what it seemed to be after all.

opening them again, your vision blurs and you realise tears were escaping your eyes. fuck you didn't want to cry now of all times but they won't stop.

and the way toji was looking at you, it makes you want to throw up.

“i must've been so stupid to you” you let out a humourless chuckle. “did you pretend im her?”

your gaze was sharp and so were your words. maybe all your bottled up feelings were resurfacing. it doesn't make you feel better about it but that doesn't stop you though.

“answer me. did you think of her when you're in bed with me? when you're kissing me and when you're holding me, was she the one on your mind??” your voice was loud now. you should be afraid of waking up megumi who you cradled to sleep just a few hours ago but no, your thoughts are too clouded right now.

toji sighs. he has no excuse.

“i used to” he actually looks ashamed as if he wasn't the one who did it purely out of his will.

your scoff makes him wince “but not anymore.”

his words fall on deaf ears “you know… i knew you did. but i stayed regardless because i thought there would be a chance that maybe one day, you could open up your heart to me. im not even asking for all of it, just a little… i thought you'd let me in.”

you're blabbering and honestly, so distraught.

“but not a moment was there when it was me isn't it? it was always her in the first place.”

now toji should have said something, anything but he stays there planted in place. and maybe that was your breaking point.

you turn around, grabbing your bag and brushing past him towards the door. instead of holding onto you and stopping you, toji clutches the small box containing the ring — your ring in his pocket, almost crushing it in the process, as he hears the door slam.

you think it's funny how toji did not reach out after what happened. it's poetic even. very fitting of him, till the very end, he did not give two shits about you.

so then, why were you back here?

it's been four long years since the trajectory of your life changed. you still don't know if it was for the better or for the worse.

saying it has been hard would be an understatement. it took you a long time just to get back onto your own feet but you did it regardless. however, you left a part of you here long ago and now, you're here to take it back.

that and you missed megumi dearly. perhaps it was an excuse too because you won't deny a part of you still missed toji, despite everything that happened.

standing a few feet away from the place you used to call home, you hesitate.

maybe this was a bad idea. oh this was definitely a bad idea. you'll see them, and then what? what comes after that?

closure? don't make yourself laugh. you’ll just be reminded of how you couldn't be that person for toji— how you'll always come second. and what if they moved?? there's no reason they'd still be here right?

forget this, you don't need to do this. why must you still be the one who put effort? to reach out? four long years passed and still no news means they clearly moved on... right?

you were convinced enough and was about to go back when you saw little megumi carrying a backpack on his back, seemingly coming home from school.

your feet wouldn't move and your eyes wouldn't blink. he grew up so well.

the world pauses as your gaze follows the kid you used to consider your own, now as good as a stranger.

“do you know that kid?” a voice at your back makes you whip your head around. life really is full of surprises and this time, the surprise was in the form of a tall man, no a tall kid with white hair, looking at you curiously through his round tinted glasses.

“... no i don't” well you weren't exactly lying. you don't know the megumi you see now. perhaps if he asked whether you raised him since he was a baby till he was two, then your answer would've been different.

“oh okay” the boy shrugs. “poor guy though”

“why? whats up with him?” you turn to look at megumi again who was minding his business walking home and your heart aches a little.

“I'm here to recruit him. his dad died you see so he's–”

“wait what was that??”

“his dad. he's dead” the amused boy in front of you chuckles and you stare at him, horrified.

“what happened to him?” your voice was shaky and doesn't sound like your own. he leans down to meet your eye level and smirks “why? i thought you don't know that kid. why does that matter to you?”

your stomach churns as you stare at him, not even knowing what to say— the smug expression on his face only widens.

“so you do know him.”

'know' would be a weak word to use when it comes to toji. you knew of his habits, the simple things he does and also of the more complex ones — like the exact place his scar decorated his lips and how it felt to kiss it.

then again, you don't really know anything about him and maybe you never will.

and maybe that's really, the closure you needed.

[eupheme]

If you’re still taking requests, I’ve been thinking about reader & wade introducing logan to sex toys - maybe how to use a vibrator on reader or what a fleshlight is…? 👀👀

ooh anon! I kept thinking about this, it was so fun (I imagine Wade is like - super pro toy-usage, while Logan is like, reluctant but will indulge if encouraged) I hope this fits the vibe you’re looking for! 💖 thanks for sending this in!

boys and their toys | logan howlett x f!reader x wade wilson

750 words | poly relationship, piv, edging, overstim, toys (vibrator, fleshlight, references to dildos and monsterfucking)

“-and this,” Wade wiggles the device between his fingers, “Is a what we call a vibrator. Well, Womanizer, baby, if you want to be specific-“

“I know what one is, Wade.” Logan scowls, “I just don’t fucking need one.”

“Boy, don’t try to front!” He gasps, “Of course we don’t need one. They’re just for fun. You know what that is, right?”

“Don’t make fun of him, babe.” You admonish, shifting your hips. Inching Wade deeper, from where he’s buried into you.

“I’ll try something else,” He sighs, grabbing another toy from the box - the silicone dildo wobbling as he holds it aloft, “Do you think I need this? No. But does it help me fulfill my fantasy of being a virgin sacrifice for the big bad werewolf, and I’m so fucking good that he keeps me as his bride instead of killing me?”

“Werewolves aren’t real,” Logan’s face pinches, lip curling over teeth, “And you can’t die.”

“You hear that? He’s kink-shaming me.” Wade groans as he slumps - the movement causing another shift of his hips, pleasure sparking through you.

“H-He doesn’t get it. Show him,” You coo, “Or I’m going to kill you, if you keep teasing me like this.”

He grins.

You’ve been keeping his cock warm for the last ten minutes, as he took you both on a little trip through his toy chest.

The device buzzing in his hand, as he thumbs the button. Anticipation curling in your stomach, as his hips begin to move.

“Okay, the great thing about this one,” Wade hums, “Is that I can keep our girl nice and full-“

His hips press flush, making you gasp.

“-while letting this little lady do all the work. Keeps her coming, pun intended.”

The toy touches down against your clit, and you gasp with need. The subtle rock of his hips, as he adjusts the pressure to what you like.

It has you whining immediately. Muscles clenching as you chase the suction, eyes already going wide and hazy with bliss.

His free hand palming at your tits. Dipping to grasp at your hip - using the leverage to start a lazy rhythm.

No more than a few minutes passing before your back is bowing. A loud cry as the sensations ripple through you, Wades grunting as you clamp down around him. Feeling how you pulse around his cock, an echo of the toy he still holds against you.

“One.” Wade coos, as you squirm - working through the overstimulation, “What’s our record? Double-digits, right?”

“Eleven,” You whine, But it took all night.”

“Let’s aim for a baker’s dozen.” His teeth glint, with his smile, “We’ve got time.”

Logan’s eyes are hungry, as he watches. His own hand wandering, wrapping around himself. Tugging his swollen cock to the rhythm of Wade’s slow pace.

“And you-” Wade tosses something clear Logan’s way, “Can use this. Already lubed it up for you.”

Logan grunts, looking at the toy. The long, cylindrical shape. Transparent innards, with silicone opening that clearly indicates what it’s mimicking.

“You really want me to use this.” It comes out flat - not a question.

“Do I-“ Wade sighs, “Yes. We do. So get your Jackman on and start pumping, or just admit that you’re not as open-minded as you keep pretending.”

His jaw works. Another sideways glance at the you, thumb testing the opening. Feeling how it gapes, as he tugs.

Aware of both sets of eyes on him. The look you fix him with - greedy, as you lips part with a pant.

With a glare shot at Wade, he lines the toy up. Slowly pressing it down, as his tip sinks past the slick opening.

A bitten back moan, as it grips him. Nothing compared to the warmth of your pussy, but better than his hand. Hips lifting as he pushes himself deep, eyes flashing up at the ragged sound you make as you watch.

“Lo,” You breathe, “Fuck, you barely fit.”

You can see where there’s a finger’s width of skin at the base of his cock. How the shape of him distorts inside the silicone as it stretches, but it’s unmistakeable how he fills it completely.

His brow furrows, “That bad?”

“No, baby,” You laugh, “It’s really fucking hot.”

You twist, as you reach over. Hand wrapping around his, coaxing him to move it up and down as Wade fucks you. Bottoming out again and again, his biceps flexing as he takes over.

“‘s not bad.” Logan admits, as he slowly relaxes. Finally letting himself enjoy the show, as a second wave of pleasure starts to crest inside you.

“I’m not coming in it, though.” It’s growled out, but breaks on a rough gasp, “Coming in one of you, or not at all.”

“Oh peanut.” Wade grins, as you moan - clenching around him again.

“We wouldn’t have it any other way.”

[colormepurplex2]

Shatter With Me | JJK

▻ Shatter With Me ↳ Model!Jungkook x Surrogate!f.Reader ⤜ Surrogacy AU ⤜ Best Friend’s Husband | smut, fluff, heavy angst ⤜ Rating: MA ⤜ WC: ~46,420 (ongoing) ⤜ Summary: Your best friend, Jiyoon, and her husband, Jungkook, have faced years of hardship trying to start a family. In a last-ditch effort to have their dream life, they seek solace in surrogacy. Wanting to see your best friend smile, you offer to become the bright beacon at the end of the tunnel, giving them what they have always wanted. But what happens when you begin to shine your light on their darkness? Things aren’t always as they seem—happiness can be a façade, shattering under the lightest pressure. ⚠️ Crass language, talk of infertility, drinking, very mild bullying and references to cruel behavior/words, talk of surrogacy, at-home medical procedure, genital touching (non-sexual), planned pregnancy, talk of pregnancy termination/abortion, BIG hurt feelings, open palm slapping, accusations of infidelity, rejected/unwanted drunken kissing that could be viewed as dubious infidelity, lies/deceit about fertility, broken marriage, infidelity, talk of divorce/filing for divorce, legal separation, kissing, fingering, cunnilingus, mild dirty talk, mild begging, sex while pregnant, creampie Each chapter will have specific warnings listed as they're posted.

Chapter 1: Waving The White Flag

Chapter 2: Please, Let Me

Epilogue: Room 613

Wretched Heart: Jiyoon's POV (bonus chapter ongoing)

This story will be completed with the bonus POV chapter.

A/N: Part of the @btsfests Daddy's Home writing fest!

A/N: A special thank you to @hisunshiine @downbad4yoongi @lo1k-diamonds and @lunarelle1013 for their unfailing beta services!

Can also be found on: Ao3 | Wattpad

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