#at least we got two cool raptors

[unnerving-presence]

I vote Titanboa

BIG SNAKE WOULD TOTALLY BE WESKER

[nerdylilpeebee]

The more I think of episode 8, the more it kinda annoys me.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the episode, but fuck man, does this finale REEK of one of two things: either the show was cancelled, or the writer couldn't think of any way to satisfyingly tie up all the plot threads they set up. Hence why nearly each one got a very quick, very brief "here you go" before moving on the main shit.

Nori and Khan's reunion? Quick, albeit cute scene where Nori acts bashful and Khan thinks she's hot but doesn't quite know who she is.

V's return? Oh look, V's back and here's some fanservice as she's on a raptor like so many of you did in fanarts. Not gonna address how she survived, or how she got this thing to do what she wanted it to, just here you go, she's, back. Anyway, time for fight scenes.

J's reaction to Tessa being dead, something it was subtly implied she didn't know back in episode 6 when she acted confused as to why Tessa wanted her to stay behind? Not even gonna include this, she just implies she's scared and wants to be on the winning side. We'll even toss in her saying she never needed V and N just so you don't notice we've given this character basically no character development and she exists just as a final barrier before Cyn. Please ignore she attempted to kill N with absolutely no hesitation the second set got the excuse to, making it make absolutely zero fucking sense she cared about either of her teammates.

Doll? You get a quick image of her corpse just before the credits. Please ignore the glaring plothole that SHOULD have meant she survived her wounds, since ya know... Uzi does the exact same with a worse wound, coming back from a fatal error simply cuz her core was placed back on her chest cavity... Which was the case for Doll the ENTIRE time she was injured, as it never left her body. (This is the most egregious one to me. No dialogue or nothing, not even a scene of Lizzy, her best friend, looking sad at her death. This was a MAJOR CHARACTER, and all we get to tie up her story is a flash of her corpse to tell us "yep, she's dead folks.")

Ooo, how about how Uzi is gonna resist the solver? You get a quick scene at the start that implies the necklace her mom gave her somehow gives her resistance... Please ignore this has never been implied at any point before in the story and the solver was VISIBLY shown taking over her body while she still had the fucking necklace on in the previous fucking episode.

They even kinda hand wave Nuzi, and don't even give us the long-awaited kiss. I'm not saying it was 100% necessary, but fuck man could it have helped the episode a lot of we at least got that.

... I enjoyed the episode. I did. There were lots of cute moments, the fight scenes were cool, and I loved Cyn...

But by the fucking GODS did this seem like they were just trying to end it with no regard for the story they'd set up. I am 100% in the camp of "Murder Drones was cancelled, they just don't want the backlash that comes with cancelling a well-loved show." The rushed nature of this finale and the fact it was advertised as the "season finale" up until I think episode 7 makes it glaringly obvious they intended to let these plot points breathe. To do SOMETHING that wasn't a rush-job.

Again, for the third time, I enjoyed the episode. I do love what we got. but I will forever mourn what we could have had. If it even just got room to breathe, longer than 20 fucking minutes, it could have been satisfying. It could have tied up these plot points just fine. But it didn't.

Such wasted potential.

[popculturebuffet]

Here Comes Garfield: The Garfield Movie Review!: Colossal, Stupdendous one might go as far to say.. Mediocre (Patreon Review for Emma Fici)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to here comes garfield, my look at all the garfield specials and now his film career. Which I realize now means I probably have to do Garfield The Movie At Some Point... and... Tale of Two Kittles.. and Pet Force...

That exesntial horror aside, today that means we're looking at the recently released Garfield Movie. The Garfield Movie comes to us from Columbia Pictures, which Sony will never let you forget is 100 years old and they own every year of that now with the 100 years logo they plopped in front of this and Ghostbusters: It Was Meh.

The film has gotten the predictably mixed reactions from a less ambitious kids film: Kids clearly love it, my own niece and nephew included, Critics loathe it and a lot of people who saw it ironically gave it one star on Letterboxd. In other words it'll likely get at least one more sequel and possibly a streaming spinoff on whoever pulls the biggest dumptruck of money up to sony's house.

So let's dig into this film: Why it's such an easy target, how good it really is, what dosen't work, and what delicoius layers it has.

The Chris Pratt Problem

Before we get into the movie, let's get into WHY it became such an easy target. And the first and biggest reason is the simplist: who they choose to play the fat cat the cool cat the nobody's fool cat: Mr Chris Pratt

Chris Pratt's casting became a meme quickly and it's understandable why: Not only was this on the heels of his questionable (if ultimately decent enough) casting in Mario but both castings felt.. Lazy. Like an exec googled "Celebreity Man" and went with the most afforadable option. Pratt isn't a bad actor. As a person... I didn't have the bandwith to full research that and shift out the genuinely douchey actions from the internet herasy. Seems like he might be bit of a dick, can't prove it. But as an actor he can be good: he was great on parks and rec, in the lego movie and in the guardians trilogy. The probelm is like a lot of actors, once he got famous, he started becoming the best imintation of himself: most of his parts like jurassic world tend to just be him doing what people now expect to be Chris Pratt TM performances. For instance Star Lord.. is a fleshed out hot mess of a character, with some depth and some genuinely emotional moments despite often being the butt of a joke. The Guy From Jurassic World.. is just that without the depth or any real character beyond "Raptor Pal who wants to bang Bryce Dallas Howard". It's not all his parts, the bullk is still good, but he's sliding very comfortably into not giving a shit if he dosen't have to and it's not a good look. I love Ryan Renolds but he can also be like that, and his better roles are when he dosen't like Deadpool. For as big a thing as it's become and as much money as he's making you can tell he's making the third one not because it'll make him even richer, but because he loves the part.

With both of these rolls it feels like Chris signed on because

He DOES give it a decent try, being pretty good as mario and alright as Garfield, but it's easy to see why there isn't a ton of enthusasim. When Ben Schwartz got Sonic the Hedgehog he was fukcing pumped, brought it and really sunk into the role. He's easily one of the Blue Blur's best voice actors and you can tell he loves the franchise. I'm not saying you have to love a franchise going into a part.. but it dosen't feel like Chris Pratt really put his soul into it and as corprate as Mario and Garfield are, these are characters with life to them. I'm not saying you can't do a good roll for a paycheck, see Orson Wells as Unicron, but fans aren't going to give you a lot of room if you don't seem to give a shit you got such a big part that is important to them.

I don't think Pratt sinks the film.. but he was far from the best choice. The best choice, in my opinon.. would've been nick offerman. He's a big comedy name, has a lot of talent, has done plenty of voice acting, currently headlining fox's best show The Great North, and has that low sarcastic voice that can be used for a bunch of diffrent moods. Jason Mantzokus is a close second choice as his gravly ness fits garfield and he can both be earnestly sarcastic AND energetic, both things garfield needs. I know the latter is ironic but the guy is emotive when necessary. But putting aside my choices he just feels like he's doing "Chris Pratt". He's good ENOUGH, but the film could've found better and has such a standout cast, including another possible choice in Brett Goldstein, that he sticks out as the guy whose just kinda.. there.. and he's in the lead roll. he's not bad and gets some great deliveries in places, but he's servicable. It's a hard roll to nail, for me only Lorenzo Music and Bill Murray have truly got it, with Frank Welker trying his best but just not quite nailing it. There's a reason there was a bit of a gap before Welker took up the roll: Music is a hard mountain to climb, Murray happens to just exude slacker energy it's not easy. But they could've tried HARDER instead of going with "well generic hollywood guy will sell tickets"

Garfield Sells Out

The next issue is one I can cover pretty quickly:

The Garfield Movie has gotten flack for it's various bits of product placement: Garfield eats POPChips, there's Olive Garden leftovers in the fridge, and his dad orders things from Wall Mart. There's also possible FexEx and Tinder advertisment I missed I found looking at articles or two and credit to the daily best for the first and reddit for the second. There are adds for big corportaions in this film and while that's not NEW , until a discussion with my friend Emma I hadn't realized how much the MCU advertizes (And just for clarity I love a lot of the mcu and Emma is neutral), it is wince inducing in a film primarily aimed at kids. It works decently for adults (raises hand), but I get the target demo and while they get advertised to plenty, it's still scummy to cram this into the movie itself.

I have nothing against the food tie ins: Stouffers doing one for their lasanga is too sensical not to do, as is having olive garden make a cameo in the film itself, Tastykae's garfield cake was adorablea nd delicious, and popchips, while certainly not the kind of greasy snack garfield would gravitate too, are the kind of casual snack food I could see him at least trying... or more accurately Jon buys them, Garfield eats everything else because he assumes like many boomers "Healthy=bad" and finds out he was wrong and orders more. It's still mildly manipulative, but it's nothing new: Kids get sold food to them all the time.

That being said.. it's still fucked up how much product placement is in the film, even if it's spread out well and while I do wish we'd stop getting SO MANY ARTICLES on it included Cracked claming the drones in the film are Sony trying to get kids to accept drones more

I get the impulse: We want to protect children and while I was originally going to be more critical of this, the more I thought about it the more scummy it felt. The Product Placement isn't to say add a layer of authentiity by using a real brand or because it's fun, it's just.. so cheap and blatant. It's just whatever brand wanted that garfield money. The film does HAVE food at the center: Garfield meets John in an itallian restraunt and has to pull a milk heist and neither place is a real life brand.. which begs the question why all the others were flavor blasted in there. There's no real need to shill and the movie would've been fine doing tie ins out of universe. I get we live in a corprate hellscape but you don't HAVE to advertise to chidlren and their parents and to sad middle aged men like me. You can just.. make a movie. Let that be the "product" if your that cynical. All you did to the brands involved is remind people "Oh yeah they sold out in that one movie". Well with Olive Garden if your sonic you also make me go to it .. or this film... but Olive Garden is delicious.

So onto the third major problem had with the film

We've Been Here Before

The third is something I can agree with: the plot is stock as hell. While the film has good points i'll get to, the basic plot is one seen in dozens of other animated films. A hero is thrown out of a lot in life their either happy with or tell themselves they are, but are thrown into a CRAZY adventure by circumstance that they must go on to get that life back while learning something along the way. To prove HOW common this is I decided to go through my film list on Letterboxd and put all of the animated ones I found that adhere to this formula into one image. It wasn't nearly as many as I expected.. but I still found about 40 diffrent films with this formula in some way

And please note this formula in of itself.. isn't a bad one. A lot of great films are made on this premise. To prove this let me take out the films I don't like from this grid

Your still left with a ton of stone cold classics. You'll also notice the breakdown for the original is 1/8th garfield. The first three specials, the first bill murray film and the second dtv film really do all fall into this formula somehow.

The key is that the formula isn't inherently bad: All these films start with the protagonists comfortable or about ot be and whisked into danger but they all go in such diffrent directions. Heartwarming child bonding comedies, a meditation on jealousy and our own realities, betting a black man's freedom in a way that the producers had to know was fucked up, space dolphin played by matt berry, everyone has their own way.

This film... dosen't do anything NEW with it: The film just stacks other animation tropes and cliches on top: you have our hero whose spoiled by what he has, has issues with his parents, has to go on an adventure adressing those issues, deals with a theatrical yet intimidating main villian and their two dumb and sympathetic henchman, gets training from a mentor with a tragic backstory to do a heist, the heist goes bad, the relatoinship that got built up over th efilm is semeingly shattered but OH NO IT WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING and the climax happens cumulating in everyone being one big happy family.

I could do the grid thing with practically every trope in this movie and it just kinda plays the hits. It reminds me of the Super Mario Movie last year: I liked that one too, but it's mostly carried by the visual spectacle, seeing the creators meticuously turn mario's patchwork world into a living breathing place, to see a giant version of dk island, to see Bowser's Kingdom in all it's glory. It's still a decent film, but it uses a pretty stock framework to do it because either the execs wanted that or the creators didn't feel they had the room to really push it. I could see the same problem here as you have Sony, Viacom and various sponsors Sony wants shoved in all wanting a say. This dosen't feel like say Across the Spider-Verse (Same parent companY) or Nimona (Same production company) where they had more freedom, so they just went with a formula that worked for other movies and worked for garfield before. The question is does that formula ruin the movie? Is there enough to still make it enjoyable despite being stock as hell?

Yes

The film is still pretty damn fun and feels like a welcome return to the character after being gone in other media for almost a decade. As Quinton Reviews pointed out in his review of this film, the Garfield Show ended in 2016. It's been a WHILE since the orange tabby's been animated, with his only apperances otherwise being in video games, showing up in Lasanga Party, Garfield Kart and being a guest racer in Nicktoons Kart Racers 3 and a fighter in both all star brawl games, all welcome as it's just.. fun to play as garfield. Does he have any real connection to nickelodeon besides them owning the property now? Nope. Is it fun to have him anyways? hell yeah. Have him hit the avatar with a pie, either one!

The strip still exists but like many aging comic strips it's clamped to it's formula. I've been reading it daily for a few months now and while there are occasional gems

It's mostly the same stuff. You can find better jokes by buying the first few three in ones. It's not nearly as bad as some other legacy strips, seriously why is Blondie still around, but it sticks out in an age where more cartoons like Heart of the City or Nancy are allowing someone to flat out reboot the strip and try something different.

With a movie you have that blank slate to do whatever and while it does a standard animated movie TM with it to a point, the film does try some neat stuff I can't help but admire.

The biggest point is the animation. DNEG did the animation here and went above and beyond the call. I love their designs, combinging modern garfield with some of the classic garfield heft and proportions: his limbs are still super skinny, but they aren't as gangly as they are in the strip, feeling more in line with his body and the head resembles the one from the early 80's more. The eyes are also without a line, which seems like a small detail but ups the expressivness, something key to garfield as "funny facial expressions" are one of Garfield's best bits.

Slapstick is where this franchise thrives and the film mostly does this well. I wish there were more, but it has some fun visual gags: while it was trailered to hell and back, the fluffy fur gag is pretty funny. All the gags with Roland, big bad Jinx's muscle played by Roy Bloody Kent himself Brett Goldstein has a lot of fun gags: How this wall of folds and muscle just.. will show up any time Garfield tries to leave, disappearing behind a sign and pulling a cell phone out of his folds his boss refuses to touch. It's not a ton, but it's a lot of fun and while he must've been a nightmare to animate, so, many, FOLDS, it results in a character that's just inherently funny to see walk around and Goldstein's gruff voice just adds to it.

There's other great btis like Garfield and Vic stuck to a tree and using the vines to beat the hell out of each other, garfield getting smacked into a car windsheild and more.

The animation is just gorgeously expressive: the non garfield cast may be somewhat stock but damn are they fun to watch and the main trio (and Liz and Nermal in very brief cameos) are at their best. IT's fun to look at, visually gorgeous and easily the best part of the film: the film may not remotely stack up to some of the masterpieces we've gotten, nor does it try to, but it does look great while having a lot of fun doing it.

Since we're talking character let's look at our cast and starting at the top Billing we have Garfield himself. Like I said Chris Pratt does.. fine. Would've preferred Nick Offerman, gold star to whoever brought that up, but he dosen't ruin the character and is still dryly sarcastic enough.

Characterization wise he's a tad diffrent: He's not nearly as much of a dick to Jon and Odie, something CellSpex pointed out in their own review might be corprate not wanting Garfield to be as dickish and thus less markketable. While I do think that's the case, I also think they threaded the needle well: Garfield is still a massive douchey orange blob to them, but it's in less over the top ways: him pummeling john or punting Odie siimply dosen't play as well, so instead he maxes out John's credit cards and Odie is essentially his butler. The former isn't super funny, but is fitting enough, and it's telling Jon, pushover he's always been, dosen't really push back against it, while having Odie instead be his hyper compentetn sidekick works. It could've backfired, turning Odie into something like say the minons that say s"please merchandise me", but instead it gives Garfield a foil, someone to make passive agressive dog noises or leave him tied to his dad on a tree. Odie is still dumb, but having him be garfield's slightly more emotoinally sasvy and competient sidekick still works well and gives him more than just "ain't he dumb" as a joke for a 90 minute runtime.

Jon is done incredibly well here but I wish there was more of him. This seems to be the sentiment across most reviews, and I can't blame my fellow critics on this one: Nicholas Hoult equals Thom Huge at the part, and like Garfield it's not easy. But it works by doing it a diffrent way: Thom had a dry sarcasm to his john that contrasted nicely with his manic dorky side, while Nicholas Hoult just leans into John as a loveable mess and it works. His panic as he tries to reign in a kitten garfield from eating an entire itallian restraunt, resignment as he washes the cat, and general bafflement at his pet fits the character like a glove.

Sadly the plot.. really dose't leave much room for Jon. It's understandable: Even if his mouth now moves, Jon can't undrestand garfield and the film outlines this, with an app specifically to translate animals being needed and only being known to exist by an unhinged security guard. It still would've been fun to give him more of a b plot looking for his pets, maybe rope in liz or irma from the diner as side characters.

What B-Plot we do get though.. is easily the best joke of the film. Jon is left on hold by a lost pet hotline for SEVERAL DAYS growing more hilariously deshevleed along the way. There is nothing more jon arbuckle than the world pantsing him while he's down and his deranged rant to the guard at the pound when he picks up the boys that "I'm done waiting! The Jon who is waiting is dead!" is fucking great, as is his bafflement when the boys run out on him after getting home to go save Garfield's dad, and his wondering if he triggered garfield when Garfield runs out to bring his dad home at the end. Hoult plays a perfectly pathetic jon, the relatable doofus we all know and love and I hope any future projects both bring him on board and give him more to do. The man is brillaint

Likewise Harvey Gullien is great as Odie. He has to commuincate using barely intellgible dog sounds, and of course great visuals from DNEG, but does so well. The man's voice acting career is a slow burn but man should he do more. He was great in Puss in Boots, is aces here and should be in most animated films from here on out. If Sony needs an Alan Tudyk, they've got one.

Onto supporting we have Garfield's Father, Vic, played by Samuel L Jackson. Vic is a big kitty who left garfield behind as a kitten and whose past crimes force his son into a heist wtih him. Look like Keith David I could listen to Sam Jack all day, easy. He has a talent for being awesome no matter the movie and no matter how much he's just in it for a paycheck. He's playing a fairly stock "ex con dad" type character who wonders into his child's life and tries to reconcile, but he has so much fun with it it's hard to really notice and the design, a big giant muscly blob, works well as a contrast to garfield: both are big soft boys, but Vic clearly lifts.

The plot between the two is cliche, I won't lie.. son is bitter his father left but DADDY HAD A GOOD REASON FOR ABANDONING YOU and if done wrong can have some bad implications. If a parent left you and is a dick, you have no obligation to them. Even if their not you don't really.

The twist that Vic didn't MEAN to abandon garfield was obvious from a mile away: even seeing the trailer it was clear he probably wasn't the asshole Garfield thought he was. But to the film's credit they don't hide that it's more complicated: from the get go Vic TRIES to explain he left, but Garfield's both understandably pissed he said he'd "be right back" and never came back and that Vic's old partner Jinx is forcing garfield into the film's heist simply to fuck with vic. It's also the right push to get Garfield into the plot: i've seen complaints about how "oh this big heist film isn't garfield he just lies around the house".. .but a key element of most of the specials and the other movies is garfield kinda gets.. shoved into adventure. Here Come Garfield happens because the next door neighbor has the pound come and Odie's too stupid to run for it. He tries to ignore his friend being lost, and tries to tell Jon who naturally dosen't get his charades, but ultimately goes to save him. The key to getting garfield into an adventure is to push him into it: either he has an emotoinal investment or , like in this case, he really has no choice, like that time he fought a panther to protect Jon. You CAN get plenty of good slice of life nonsense out of the boy but i get that for a specail or movie you have to kick it up a notch and having Garfield forced into a life of crime fits well.

It's a bit fucking weird, but again so is garfield. It's something people tend to forget or don't really care to look up and that came up in a lot of reviews, but the specials could get werid. Garfield was on a talent show, went through 9 very diffrent very fucking weird lives, was a private eye, had a whole spy pastiche adventure in his daydreams, went to hawaii to stop a volcano with the help of Fonzie's ghost.. or was it james dean's ghost? it was someone's ghost, and of course met ghost pirates. Not every adventure was fucking insane, but it bears repeating sometimes the strip or specials or especially the show got weird, and that's alright. Frankly the films could go weirder and less stock, but this really isn't out of his wheelhouse. Like with Scooby Doo maybe research a franchise before you bitch about it. not saying everything's gold, lord no, but I am saying the franchise is way more experimental than it gets credit for.

The twist on WHY vic left though.. is heartbreaking. This ties back to the opening which you can see most of in a trailer: vic abandons his son, Jon finds baby garfield outside the window while he's having a sad single man meal at an itallian restraunt, Garfield eats everything in sight and Jon still adores his pet. The only part left out is Jon almost leaves Garfield behind, as his apparement dosen't allow pets.. but goes back. Why they added this.. I don't know.. but their origin is truly hearwarming and may be another reason why they toned down the asshole to Garfield being less of an abusive roomate and more Jon's spoiled teenage son.

Naturally though we didn't see VIC'S side: he went to steal some food for his son, had to wait for the worker's long as hell phone call becaues some dick won't feed a stray cat. I mean I get they come back but counter argument: who cares. As long as you don't invite a roving pack of cats, help the starving kitty you ass. At any rate by the time vic got back with half a fish, his son was gone and he watched the whole scene at the itallian restraunt.. and then watched Jon come back, realizing Jon gave his son a better life. He gave his son up so he could. As for why he never visted it's the painful but truthful worry of ruining his son's new life: vic's a career heist man, an alley cat and garfield was comfortable. The sad irony is garfield.. woudl've welcomed his dad in. Jon being Jon would've gladly adopted him. Garfield wanted both HIS dads. Vic instead watched from a nearbye tree, a revelation garfield only gets in the pound after Vic fakes a double cross... when really he knows Jinx will NEVER let garfield free of her grasp and thus returns the milk from the heist himself. Naturally garfield realizes this, gets a drone fleet to help him rescue his dad along with the bull they befriended earlier, and saves the day.. and Vic still plans to leave but ultiamtely garfield convinces him to stay. Is it a tad cliche? Sure. Did it still knock my fucking heart out? yes.

Outside of this emotoinal arc, Vic is a lot like his son, but more active, having more world skills... and it's not really played up. Vic's emotinal arc is well done but outside of it he dosen't have much charater. Only the fact he's played by sam Jack really lets him be a character. He's not BAD but I wish they'd fleshed him out more outside of his tragic backstory. It moves me.. but there's not much else to the guy.

Onto our bad guys, and Jinx, our main villian is a delight. She has a decent motive too: She was once a would be show cat, but choked on stage, genuinely found family with Vic.. and turned vengeful when he left her behind on a job, her hate twisting her into the operatic selfish tyrant we see today with her two henchman Roland, the foldy brett goldstein boy I mentioned before and Rupert, his twitchy partner played by SNL and Fire Island's Bowen Yang. Roland is great mostly due to the expressive animation and Goldstein's deadpan delivery. Youc an almost feel rupert about to threaten

Good times. yang.. gets less to do. Roland is just kinda there because they felt they HAD to have a pair of henchman and coudln't have just one big british foldy boy. It's also weird to me they didn't go with another ted lasso cast member. There's tons of options and if you already got the big bad and one of her henchman from there commit to the bit. The show's lined with talent.

Speaking of which Jinx is voiced by Hannah Waddingham, who like Goldstein was a dream on Ted Lasso. She also was recently in the fall guy which you should watch. Seriously .. go.. go do that. It's fucking incredible. At any rate she makes the most of the role hamming it up to all hell, giving Jinx a nice manical quality. Jinx isn't given a ton of layers outside of her backstory, but is hilarous enoguh with her big fluffy persian cat presensce, general evil dickery and awesome villian song that for some weird reason wasn't actually put in the film proper but makes the credits a joy to sit through, she's a LOT of fun and you can tell Waddingham is knawing on the scenery in the recording booth and loving it. I like her getting to flex her range post-ted lasso, already terrific as Rebecca but now getting to play a nice variety of parts. Jinx wouldn't be the same without Waddingham and the casting was perfect

Our penultimate major character is Otto. Otto is a bull and garfield's grumpy mentor with a tragic backstory because everyone has a tragic backstory in this movie except Odie and that's because they cut the scene of Lyman getting shot to death in the falkland's war. He's a bull who was part of the farm Garfield has to heist with is daddy guy, and was removed from it because the new owners are dicks, desperate to get back his one true love Ethel. He's played by Ving Rahmes, who does a great job and the character honestly isn't bad, it's just.. weridly sandwitched into this movie. A ways in and we suddenly get this guy who should be leading this whole other movie. The heist itself fits decently enough, but this whole tragic past, his history with the guard Margie, it feels like a whole other film that Garfield and Friends just wondered into.

Otto is fun to watch, his serious as hell tone contrasting with things like assinging Garfield roadkill or his deadpan assement that Garfield and Vic are going to die and are only ready because they'd need a month and have a day. He's not bad, he' sjust a bit undercooked> he does get his happy ending with Ethel back, so tha'ts nice, it just feels like another character in a cast that probably didn't need one more guy.

Finally we have Marge, the security guard played by Schmigadoon! star Cecily Strong. Strong fucking brings it to marge, who could easily just be this obstacle of a villian but instead is this super obessed guard who has a score to settle with vic, instantly recognizes that jinx calling to set vic up (And hilariously it just being Hannah Waddingham saying meow a lot), is a cat informing on someone, and has this unhinged energy the film needs and that fits garfield like a glove. Garfield is all about unhinged weirdos wondering into his life in other media. She provides a jolt of energy for the heist section and a nice way to payoff things later as she trades the truck for ethel and takes in Roland and Rupert while taking Jinx to the pound.. or to an unmarked grave. Marge.. is hard to read. I just love her though, having this werido who understand this elaborate animal plot somehow. Beauitful.

We also have a few smaller roll: Snoop Dogg plays a cat

Dev Joshi plays Liz for all of 5 seconds, and for some reason Jeff Foxworthy plays a bird for even less time.

The cast overall is decent, if a bit overstuffed, but iwth good enough performances to make you not care.

Before we move on a complaint i've seen here or there is that they don't really use garfield's supporting cast. I agree on Jon, Nicholas Hoult was too damn good to use that little, but for the rest of the cast.. I get it. None of them really fit into the narrative that well: Arlene, The Meanest Dog in the World, Nermal might of fit as members of the heist crew, it woudl've been intresting to see them gather one, but otherwise Jon's Parents, who I dearly love, don't quite fit (It'd be fucking werid to have garfield rob people he knows instead of a souless corperation0, Irma has no real place and Lyman got shot to death in the falkland islands. Other than their neighbors who used to show up, Garfield has no other recurring characters to use. it WOULD have been neat to use the US Acres cast for the heist, again could've gone full ocean's elven, but I get not adding even MORE characters to a crowded film, and possibly saving them for another movie down the line. Again Garfield dosen't have a big bench to pull from: if you have that full a cast that can stand on it's own and possibly anchor their own film, I can't blame the mfor saving them. Same for Arelen and Nermal Garfield falling in love or having to deal with his greatest enemy are both things that could anchor a sequel.

The Big Fat Hairy Conclusoin

So overall the Garfield Movie is.. fine. It's nothing exceptional, but it has a LOT of fun energy to it and out of the films i've seen i'ts easily the best.. and frankly I doubt Tale of Two Kitties or Pet Force is better. The film does have way too much advertising, a stock plot and way more characters than it needs.. but it compesates by mostly nailing the characters from the comic, having some of the guest characters be intresting, and when they aren't all parties involved are buffered by talented voice acting and gorgeous animation. This film is okay, and if you don't like Garfield, you probably won't like this film. If you like some goofy animation and some schmaltz though, you'll likely enjoy this one like I did. It's not perfect by a mile, but it adapts the strip's tone and style well, adds some florishes here and there, and leaves the door open for more. And frankly with it's success it gives me hope that other comic strips might get adaptations. After Paramount's treament of Phoebe and her Unicorn and Big Nate, we could use somre more comic strip movies with this level of animation, and maybe some more depth. I'd love to see films for more recent strips like Phoebe and her Unicorn, Wallace the Brave or Breaking Cat News that have both intresting casts to tap into and unique art styles that would look gorgeous on screen. I'd love to see some older strips get a new spin as well like Baldo or Zits, ones with a formula sure but a lot of visual flair. With this and the peanuts movie, we're hopefully seeing more comic strip adaptations and unlike last time this could be something good instead of CGI monsters from beyond the farthest star.

So I leave this film with an "I'ts alright you might like it" and the number two spot in my rankings of the specails i've covered

Next Time (Hopefully): It's Christmas in July so that Means it's time for us to get down on the farm with Jon's family for some musical numbers, home cooking and elaborate back scratcher b plots.

[junpeijackflash]

Welp, I Guess I’ll Talk About My Maximum Ride Rewrite Now

I promised I’d post about my rewrite soon, totally not expecting to do it for at least a few weeks. Then I opened up my doc after like a month and wrote two chapters in two days.

So, now equipped with a stronger drive to write (at least for now) I’ll share some details on my rewrite project. I’ll be putting this under a cut because holy fuck I did not expect to write this much:

The full title for the series is going to be Fly On, Maximum Ride. The individual book rewrites are going to be from song lyrics (or song titles? haven’t decided). Incidentally, the “Fly On” part of the title also comes from song lyrics.

Why, you may ask, am I doing the cliché AO3 “song lyrics as the title” thing? Because music ended up having a larger impact on this series than intended. What started out as me listing each flock members’ favorite bands and songs somehow wove so deeply into them that I cannot remove it.

(I’m aware kisses4butterflies on AO3 also has a music thing going in their rewrite. I came up with my version independently, and I do think it’s cool we had similar ideas)

Now to what people actually care about: the story and characters 👀

First off: Jeb never died/faked his death. He is still living with the flock as we speak, leaving the house every so often to get groceries or supplies for the flock. Sometimes he’s gone for a few days, sometimes weeks, sometimes a bit longer. But he’s still a part of the flock’s life. He trains them, teaches them, makes sure they’re healthy, rewards them when they do good, etc.

Ari sadly does not exist. I could’ve tried to come up with something for him, but I removed him from the plot so early on there’s no way to squeeze him back in. Maybe he could’ve been living with the flock as a normal human kid, but I feel like that would’ve just made him Gazzy Without Wings so :/

The house is…different. I don’t want to say much on that now, but just know the flock isn’t waking up with the sun or going on daily flights around the Sangre De Cristo Mountains. They go outside to train and occasionally play, but only when Jeb lets them.

Max, Fang, and Nudge are probably the only real physical fighters of the bunch. Iggy’s extremely good at assembling traps and weapons he can use, but he doesn’t have the same training as his siblings. Gazzy is training to be a good fighter, and training with Iggy on building things (he’s much more eager about the bombs than Iggy is), but he’s still a kid and he’s still learning. Angel is a six year old, and she’s also slightly lagging behind on her motor skills, so safe to say she is not good in a fight.

The flock still looks somewhat human-like, but not enough that they pass 100%. Their wings are massive, for one, and they can’t just fold them up into their backs. They need bulky jackets and pants to squish their wings inside if they want to hide them. They also have feathers along the backs of their arms and legs. Their pectoral muscles are larger and they have broader shoulders, all to help support the wings. They have smaller and rounder bird eyes with raptor vision, and they’ve got hollow bones and air sacs just like birds do.

In terms of what birds the flock’s wings are based on: Max = golden eagle, Fang = peregrine falcon, Iggy = osprey, Nudge = american kestrel, Gazzy = red tailed hawk, Angel = ferruginous hawk. Their eyes also match the birds they’re based on.

Everyone in the flock has pretty noticeable scars. Max has a large one on her cheek. Fang has several long ones across his chest. Iggy’s eyes are basically a scar on their own. Nudge has scars on her hands that flare up in pain. Both Max and Gazzy have scars around their neck in the same places. Angel doesn’t have scars yet, but she’s going to get some soon.

The kids fully believe they’re freaks of nature who cannot live outside of their home or else they’ll be hunted down or taken back to The School.

The flock all consider themselves siblings. This does in fact mean no Max-Fang romance. Honestly I wouldn’t know what to do with it even if they weren’t siblings. I have 1 (one) planned romance in book 2, and it doesn’t involve either of them.

There’s not de facto leader, since Jeb is still there. Max, Fang, and Iggy all take up different roles when he’s gone to help around the house.

Max and Fang do have a really close bond, though. They were cage neighbors at The School for as long as they can remember, and they developed a very close friendship, always looking out for one another, always ready to do anything to save each other. Even now, four years after leaving The School, they’re constantly there for each other, helping deal with trauma the only ways they know how.

Of course, when Max and Fang aren’t physically or mentally able to help, Iggy’s there to be the emotional support for his siblings. He’s one of the oldest kids, so he’s treated as such, James. Admittedly, there is A Lot to Iggy that won’t get unpacked until after book 1. But he’s still very blind. Still very skilled. Still very gay.

Nudge, being one of the younger three, got to have a slightly happier childhood, free to play with dolls and be a kid. She still struggles with nightmares and flashbacks, but not to the degree that her older siblings do. Now that she’s getting older, she has to train more, something she hates. Just like in canon, she really just wants to be a normal girl. She’s scared of people, but also fascinated by them and wishing she could live like they do.

Gazzy barely remembers anything from The School. It definitely had an impact on him, but the few memories he has are implicit childhood ones that are more sensory than anything. He’s the most innocent of the kids, but he’s also very aware of his siblings’ struggles and tries to help when he can. He’s willing to fight, despite his total lack of experience.

Angel, unfortunately, absorbed plenty of bad memories as a baby, when she couldn’t control her powers very well and overheard everyone’s nightmares. She’s aware of what happened at The School, but she tries not to bring it up because it makes her siblings sad. She still has nightmares about it, still remembers things she shouldn’t. However, memories don’t quite compare to experiencing the real thing... 

Gazzy and Angel are indeed biologically related instead of just found family. I’ve put a bit of emphasis on that being different. Not in a way that invalidates found family, don’t worry. It’s just that I personally believe if you already have a found family dynamic and are now including blood siblings, there should be some significance to it, because otherwise why do they need to be related if everyone is already family? Basically: Gazzy and Angel are very very close. They love each other, they play together, they barely ever argue or fight. They’re babies, and I will protect them (I say as I put them through several back-to-back traumatic events)

Speaking of biological families…uh, most of the flock doesn’t have any. Max isn’t Jeb and Dr. Martinez’ kid, the flock doesn’t go on a hunt for their parents that goes nowhere. In this world, a good chunk of the test subjects made through donor eggs and sperm that’s been genetically altered in advance and raised in artificial wombs. Yeah, sure, they’ve got donor parents out there somewhere, but it’s not top priority for most of the flock. They’ve got guardians looking out for them, and when they don’t they’re just fighting on their own.

Despite not being related to Dr. Martinez, Max is still Latina. I didn’t change any of the races - Fang is Asian, Nudge is black, Iggy and Gazzy and Angel are white - except for adding some clarification on Fang, since Asian is a very broad term (he’s got DNA from Southeast Asia and East Asia, more specifically The Philippines and South Korea). Again, stuff that will be more relevant after book 1.

Some kids are donated by real people, though, usually altered in very, very early stages of development and monitored heavily until they’re born. Families sign a waiver promising a nice paycheck to cover all medical expenses, and a disclaimer of possible permanent damage to the body or death. There is one member of the flock who was donated to The School this way. I’m not telling who yet.

Ohhh boy the Erasers. I have so much to say about Erasers, but I’ll have to keep it short. 

When I started this rewrite, I had the question: “Why do we never see newly made Erasers? They can’t just start out as full-grown adults.” So, in this rewrite, we have child Erasers, which the flock refers to as “dogs”. They age quickly, so they do look like full grown adults when they’re three or four, however it doesn’t last long, since rapid aging doesn’t exactly stop. They live for roughly seven years max, but most of them outlive their fighting use before that. 

Full-grown Erasers are stronger, tougher, and are experts at following orders since it’s all they know. Dogs, on the other hand, are wild and violent. They’ll tear into anything they get their hands on and they’re harder to control, since they’re still learning. Itex utilizes them both.

Also of note on Erasers: they’re officially just Lupine hybrids, and the Eraser nickname was made up by the various children at The School, because they only ever came to the cage room to take away the unfortunate kids who didn’t live long enough, or the kids who were too sick to keep on living, effectively “erasing” them.

The School is a nickname that Gazzy came up with after they left. He still didn’t really understand the bad place they came from and how it was affecting his siblings, but kids on TV always talked about school like it was the worst thing in the world, so he figured that must be where they came from. He used it a lot, and it stuck with the rest of the flock too. 

Did I mention there’s more mutant kids? Because there’s more mutant kids. A LOT of mutant kids. 296 of them at The School alone, with over half of those being Erasers/dogs. They have to make a lot, since you never know which ones will succeed, which ones will be used for non mutation-related testing, and which ones will fail.

Where do they get the money for so many research babies? The flock doesn’t know any of this, but Itex is massive. Governments are willing to pay outrageous prices to fill their military with Erasers, and the research Itex provides from studying their mutants have cured diseases and provided better medical treatment for ordinary people around the world. The human experimentation is an open secret (though granted most people don’t know the entire process). Most of them can’t do much, however. Itex is very, very old, and it’s far too powerful for your average Joe to stop on their own.

Also there’s no “save the world” plotline. There’s some saving the world in there eventually (not now, but eventually), but it’s not a predestined thing that Jeb tells Max. Max wasn’t created to save the world. She and her siblings were created for something else...

...Anyways, that’s about all I have time for right now. I might post more details later, but feel free to hit me with a DM or an ask if you have any thoughts. Currently the rewrite is sitting at 23 chapters, which means I’m juuust over halfway done with the first draft lol. I don’t know when it’ll be out. I work on and off and I’m not super consistent. But hopefully I’ll have something done within the next twenty years. :P

[jurrasicworldcc]

Jurassic World CC OC Fanfic

Title: April

Setting: Season 4, during “Turning Dr. Turner.”

I do not own anything

Casey sighed as Dr. Mae Turner opened the door to her home on this new island. It was really refreshing to see something that wasn’t Camp Cretaceous or the genetics lab…but Casey still had his suspicions over the hollow forest and how Mae’s bosses managed to get T. Rexes from Isla Sorna seeing how that island is pretty much myth or is it?

Sammy sat down on the couch. “Wow. As far as caves go, this one’s pretty swank.”

“You live here?” Darius asked.

“Live, work, play surprisingly competitive games of poker with my daughter.” Mae answered. “Usually win.”

“Daughter?” Brooklynn asked.

“Oh, yes. More like adopted in the case. April. Come out please.”

“Coming, Mum.” A voice said.

Then stepped out a really beautiful girl that Casey was hypnotized to. She had green eyes, red hair tied into a ponytail, fair skin compared to Mae’s Black skin, and wore a grey shirt that Sammy couldn’t help but see that the logo on the shirt was familiar, she wore a long-sleeved sky blue shirt over the grey shirt, tan shorts, and brown boots. The girl stepped out and asked, “Are these guests, Mum?”

“Yes, they are.” Mae answered. “All right, I’m gonna go whip up some sandwiches.”

She left and April looked at Casey. He was pretty much blushing really hard and April smiled warmly at the boy. She walked over to him and Casey’s mine was on the fritz. OH, GOD! SHE’S COMING RIGHT TO ME!! WHAT DO I DO?!?!?! BE COOL, BE COOL, BE COOL!!!! JUST USE KENJI AND BROOKLYNN’S ADVICE WHEN PRETTY GIRLS TALK TO YOU!

“Ello! I’m April Turner.” April said.

“H-H-Hi. I’m Casey…Casey Johnson.” Casey said while nervously shaking her hand.

“That’s a good name.”

SHE LIKE MY NAME!!!! Casey kept his blush and played with a loose strand of his unkept hair. “S-So…You…Uh…”

“What’s wrong?” April tilted her head in confusion.

Yaz put a hand on Casey’s shoulder and replied, “Sorry. He’s a bit nervous around pretty girls. Also, we haven’t talked to another human being in the last six months expect for a doctor and his gang of mercenaries.”

“Don’t forget Mitch and Tiff…” Casey whispered.

“Don’t worry. I don’t bite. Unless if you have to brand your claws to get some triceratops meat around here.” April giggled.

“W-Wait. Claws?” Casey asks.

“Oh, I’m a human-dinosaur hybrid. Had them when I was a baby.”

“What kind of genes?”

“Raptors.”

“Oh, me too! Actually I’m the first human-Dino hybrid in existence, and my mother, Caroline Johnson, was the one who made the formula to make us who we are.”

“How old are you?”

“Sixteen.”

“Same here. Say, you want a cup of tea while we talk?”

“Sure even though I’m a coffee guy.”

April walked over to make the tea and Yaz looked at Casey. “What was that?”

“What was what?” Casey asked.

“You have feelings for her.”

“What?”

Yaz raised an eyebrow smugly. Casey sighed as there was no fooling this girl and he blushed again. “I…I’m starting to. I mean, she’s beautiful, she’s sixteen, and she’s a hybrid just like me.”

April showed up with two cups of tea and the two sat down. Casey sipped from the cup and it was probably better than coffee. Even better than the coffee he made during the six months trapped on Nublar. Casey sat his cup down and asked, “So, how did you get on this island?”

“Well, Mum has worked at a lab back in London and I attended a private school so I could at least be entertained for a few hours while she was away. I did show some of my hybrid skills once in a while to my classmates. Then, Mum got a job and we dropped me out of school and we moved here.”

“Well, I was born somewhere in Costa Rica. Well, I spent mostly all of my life on Isla Nublar where I was “tortured” into being a dangerous hybrid. It was until my friends saved me and got me into Camp Cretaceous.”

“Camp Cretaceous?”

“It was a summer camp thing that my friends and the staff were testing out six months ago.”

“What made you stuck on that island?”

“Well, it was this hybrid dinosaur called the “Indominus Rex” that got us lost on the island and also these two poachers named Mitch and Tiff. Tiff really wanted my head on Mitch’s wall and she met an…ahem…gruesome death by some Baryonyxes.”

“Must’ve been hell trying to survive.”

“Yeah, it was.”

“At least, you have friends. I didn’t have any except for Mum. She’s pretty much my only family.”

The two smiled and then Mae showed up with plates of sandwiches.

[the-starry-seas]

Which OC would you ever consider to be your 'favourite'?

Which OC would you consider to have a 'gremlin mode'?

Which pair of OCs would you put into a box together and watch to see what happens?

Which OCs would fight each other for the last piece of cake and which OC would steal said cake while the others are fighting? Which one would be least likely to sacrifice themselves for another?

Which OC would you consider to be a 'bad guy'?

I had this partly written and then tumblr erased it-

anyway I love talking about my lil guys thank you :3

Which OC would you ever consider to be your 'favourite'? Oh that's my guy Rowan! I made him in 2015 so he's also my oldest OC. He's a bisexual nonbinary polyamorous Catalan paleontologist, born and raised in rural California as a second-generation immigrant, who's also a dinosaur shapeshifter (Utahraptor edition). He's gotten so much depth since I first played him but he's still mouthy, chaotic, and got the baddassery and skills to back up the boasting. Fun dude.

Which OC would you consider to have a 'gremlin mode'? Oh Nox for sure. They said that they wanted their name to be obnoxious and their captain said I think the closest we can manage is Nox, which they accepted because they thought it sounded cool. Their birthday is April 1st because it's April Fool's Day and they are in fact a fool. Plus they're unaware of a few minor social concepts like 1) an inside voice 2) personal space 3) gender. They have a neon pink sidecut. You know how it is.

Which pair of OCs would you put into a box together and watch to see what happens? Hmmm I'm gonna say Kestrel and Goldshot. Kestrel is my ROTTMNT guy, it was one of the two secret siblings that the fanbase was theorising about, and I call it Teenage Mutant Winter Soldier because, well, that sums it up pretty well. Goldshot is an Autobot OC from a Jurassic Park fusion-AU-thing with a red and beige JP jeep as an alt form. When the hurricane happened, she went to the nursery to see if the babies were all right, and a nest of raptor newborns and a month-old dilo imprinted on her and became part of the Autobot squad. I just think they could be interesting and she would befriend it and not be phased by its biting.

Which OCs would fight each other for the last piece of cake and which OC would steal said cake while the others are fighting? Fury and Racer fight over dumb shit all the time (lovingly in the way that two chaotic siblings do). Whisper is absolutely the one who steals the cake while they're up to their shit. Sometimes it's because xe didn't realise what they were fighting for. Sometimes xe decides that you snooze you lose.

Which one would be least likely to sacrifice themselves for another? This is actually a 'thing' with Nihaan. He's the squad's leader so he's typically the only guy that a natborn talks to, because they generally don't care to talk with the rest of the squad. In an emergency, he's under strict orders to not sacrifice himself for anyone. They're meant to die for him instead. One of Nihaan's biggest roles, when things go FUBAR, is to keep the natborn calm and close so they can be most effectively protected. He can't do that if he's dead. It's something that eats at him. He loves them as much as they love him, but he'll never be able to make the ultimate sacrifice for them, like they can do for him.

Which OC would you consider to be a 'bad guy'? Hmmm this is one that really made me think tbh! I don't have a lot of OCs that are like, 'bad guys'. Villainous characters generally don't interest me unless I can see a lot of nuance and layers in there (like an onion or perhaps a parfait). Carno and Shrike could both qualify, perhaps. Carno is a violent freak (love him but holy shit). Shrike is a medic who bluntly tells dying clones that they're fucked and walks away from them to see if there's clones he can save.

[lindsaystravelblogs2]

Days 9&10 - 12-13 March

Day 9 - Sunday, 12 March Tucker Island

We were togged up ready for our zodiac cruise before 8.30 this morning.  It was a beautiful calm day despite some swell, cool and cloudy but with no rain until we were almost back on board.  We went out to some rocks where we saw lots of seals and a few sealions, as well as quite a few birds.  There was a lot of kelp and our zodiac became entangled in it a few times, once enabling me to get some photos of a few very small birds standing on and pecking around the surface of the kelp.  They were tiny and still a fair way away, but some of my photos were (surprisingly) good enough to identify the birds as the little Baird’s Sandpipers.  We saw quite a few other birds and I got a little excited when our zodiac driver identified four species that I had never heard of.  In due course, I found that I had seen all of them many times before under their English names, rather than their French colloquials.  We did see a couple of big raptors that got me excited thinking they may have been condors (at least four have been seen by others so far this trip – update that to nine a couple of days later).  Alas, closer inspection showed them to be Turkey Vultures that I have seen on a few occasions before.

It was a really enjoyable cruise and we ended up in a little bay on the main Island where there were quite a few Magellanic Penguins.  I saw very few of them on our last trip so it was a buzz to see a lot more on this trip.  There were also quite a lot of Imperial and Magellanic Cormorants, some spectacular Kelp Geese, as well as gulls and a few unspecified Cinclodes.  It was a great two hours (it was supposed to be only ninety minutes), rich in wildlife, surrounded by spectacular rocks, snow-capped mountains and green hills.

We had a lecture in the afternoon about Chile, the Land of Fire – but I left partway through because I had no idea what she was talking about.  Her heavy accent and her extensive use of her red laser pointer to illustrate whatever she was saying had me absolutely bamboozled by the time she was ten minutes into her presentation so I decided that I could use my time more profitably back in the cabin.  I am sure it would have been interesting but I just couldn’t follow a single sentence of what she was saying.

There was a charcuterie tasting after that and we participated in that with relish. It was accompanied by an excellent wine and we took an extra glass of that back to our cabin to enjoy before dinner.  There is a themed afternoon tea each day, mainly sweet pastries, but they had some nice savoury croissants for a change so a couple of them also found their way back to our cabin.

Day 10 - Monday, 13 March Estero de Las Montaras

This location is a very long, very narrow fiord that left us in something of a quandary.  The Expedition Team knew of three possible landing places, only two of which had been explored before.  One of the other Ponant captains had recommended a site at the extreme north of the fiord but nobody on our ship had visited that before. They spent some time in the morning scouting, before settling on the middle site at a glacier for which I can’t recall the name at present – it’s a B-word, I think.  I don’t think we were even told its name on the day, but it has been referred to by name (as if we were expected to know it) a couple of times since.

There was a lecture about Whales in the morning and the landing was during the afternoon.  It was quite a long walk in to the glacier, but very pleasant, despite consistent light rain.  It was a bit rocky and steep in places but really not too bad with lush vegetation on one side and the shallow fiord and terminal lake on the other. A lot of the vegetation was bedecked with red and purple fuchsias.  They are prolific in this area (and on subsequent days) so I suspect they are local endemics that have been transplanted across the world.  They certainly make the shrubbery pretty.

There was a real bottleneck near the face of the glacier with everyone wanting photos of themselves touching the ice.  The Guides seemed to be actively discouraging this to get through the queue more quickly. When our turn finally came, Heather took a photo of me touching it but we wanted one of us together, so I asked a woman sitting nearby if she would take a shot of us on my camera. She refused but said she would take the photo on her camera and we could get it from her back on the ship.  I later learned that she was the official photographer and all the photos she took (and all the photos we plebs were discouraged from taking) would cost us more than $AU20 a pop if we wanted them when we returned to the ship. What a rip-off, aided and abetted by Ponant staff.  We returned to the zodiacs along the same track – that was not really a track, just a narrow bit of stony beach that wound its way through to the glacier. The tide had come in a little while we were walking in and back so we often had to walk in the water on the way back.

There is a Daily Briefing and Recap before dinner each night.  The Briefing outlines the plans for the next day, but the Recap is not a Recap at all.  It sometimes references some of the things we saw, but it is usually just three or four 5-minute segments by the Guides on a range of subjects – seals, a species of bird, geology, local history and so on – usually quite short but pithy and interesting if you can understand the French accents.  Some are very hard to decipher and I just give up!

[adobe-outdesign]

I’ve enjoyed reading your pokemon reviews! If you don’t mind, what are your thoughts on the Kyurem/Reshiram/Zekrom legendaries, and their fusions?

First, I should mention my main problem with these guys before I go into individual designs, which is that honestly? They all kind of blur together in my mind (and no that's not a fusion joke). Maybe I'm the only one with this problem, but the designs all have a similar body shape. Combine that with how abstract they are and the lack of an obvious theme (not saying the ying/yang and ideals/truths themes are bad, mind you), and at the end of the day they all just turn into white noise to me.

I get that they were all one Pokemon once and that's why the designs are similar, but there's just so many of them. I honestly feel like you could've just had one black dragon, one white, both broken, and then the fusion as the third version. But ignoring that and just looking at what we got:

Fun fact: Reshiram is one of only a few Pokemon that are pure white. Most have some other kind of color prominently added to them. Anyway, Reshiram is pretty decent for a legendary, even if it does have some of the business that other legendary designs tend to suffer from. I like the organic look of it a lot, and the overall aesthetic of a dragon/bird/raptor is pretty neat. I'm especially fond of the turbine tail (especially when it lights up with orange) and the pseudo-hands on the wings, kind of like how bats still have a digit up there.

In terms of things I'm not so big on, I really dislike that weird tuft of feathers running up under the body. It's screwing up the flow--the body goes down, but the tuft goes up. It's also completely unnecessary.

And other than that, there are a few details that could be cut down on for clarity's sake. The tuft on top of the head (not the long flowing one, that one's good), the stripes going under the turbine tail bands, the two tufts of feathers on the chest, and the feathers underneath the metal neck bands all could've been cut down on. I like feathers, but you don't need quite that many of them.

Zekrom is okay, but I don't like it as much as Reshiram. The hands being separate from the wings really looses something, and it makes it feel weirdly Digimon-esq. I like the contrast--the colors, the less organic, more mechanical feeling--but it's just less interesting looking. It also has just way too much paneling and extra details, such as the unnecessary joins that connect the wings. At least the hands still look pretty cool though.

I also feel like overdrive mode helps this one a lot, as the blue stripes on the tail really make it pop and make it more memorable:

Still not perfect, but I do remember this form a little more.

I have mixed feelings on Kyurem. On the one hand, it does look appropriately hollow and frozen, and I like the t-rex like body. However, it also (say it with me now) has way too much detail with all the pointless lines over the body (maybe it's supposed to look chiseled?). I'm also not a huge fan of those tubes at the end of the wings, or the weird way said wings connect to the body.

But I guess my main thing is that to me, while this looks frozen and hollow enough, it doesn't read that clearly conceptually. Kyurem here doesn't look broken enough to me. It's missing part of a wing and head spike (and maybe a tail), but I wouldn't notice if I wasn't looking. To me, a Pokemon that's hollow and missing pieces should be missing an eye, an arm, barely have a stump for a tail... you know, make it obvious that it's not complete. The idea seems to be that some of the missing pieces were filled in with ice, but basically what I'm saying is that I'd never guess Kyurem was supposed to be missing and fractured just from the design.

The other weird thing about this line conceptually is that these three were all one Pokemon. However, when you combine two of them, which should get you a more complete dragon, you instead get a much more broken and incoherent mess than either of the two separately, which makes no sense.

Just looking at the fusion designs themselves, they're pretty much a mess. I think the big problem here are the giant ice chunks, which throw what good elements the designs have going for them. Wasn't the idea that Kyurem was only frozen because it was missing parts? Shouldn't the ice have gone away or at least been more naturally integrated?

White Kyurem has a neat velociraptor-ish look to it with the middle claws and feathered arms, the ice and yellow bits completely mess up the upper body and throw the flow off. If it was just the grey and white, it could've been okay. Also, that crotch piece still really bothers me.

Black Kyurem has a really weird looking face due the lack of ice for the teeth to align to. I don't get why the grey on the neck doesn't connect to the underside, there are still way too many lines, and it's weird how many parts are filled in with ice here (what happened to Zekrom's arm exactly?). The tail and arms look kind of neat, but that's about it.

Overall, Reshiram's the best of the bunch. This line just really suffers from the fusion ideas not being as clear as they could be and massively overcomplicated designs that just look like a mess, especially when fused.

As a side note, Gamefreak, show us the fully fused dragon. Why would you state that these three were all one dragon and then never show us it. At least put it in a future Pokemon Legends game if you make more or something.

[multific]

Trainers

Owen Grady x Reader

Summary: You are the trainer of the Mosasaurus, you have been working with her since she was a tiny little thing. So, you don’t appreciate when another trainer is asked to check on the work you have been doing.

 You understood that Claire wanted results. But they never understood that a creature such as a dinosaur is not as easy to train as a dog. Nevertheless, when the owner of the park specifically asked for you to be the caretaker of the Mosasaurus, you just knew you had to accept. Being a well respected Marine Biologist in your field, you loved the different challenge this would bring. Although you had to do a lot of studying. You would normally focus on a lot of species, so only having to deal with one animal was quite different. 

When you first saw her, you knew, you understood just how special she really was and you fell in love with the tiny being. Well, back then she was the size of an alligator, but then she grew into her normal size. She got huge. Even her tank spoke to itself.

Momo was chosen to do one of trick for the public. To eat a shark from a hook, splashing water onto the crowd. You knew she wasn’t a circus animal. You understood that, but since you two spent so much time together, a bond formed between you two. And you were more than surprised when she listened to you. 

One late night you were sitting by her tank, looking at her as she swam around. This was all she knew, the water, the hook and you. You often went to the Underwater Observatory where you can look into her tank through the glass. You spoke to her days on end as you just sat there after you finished with your work for the day. 

And one day, it happened.

Just like a dolphin show, you were talking and motioning around and when you moved your hand up as an expression, she jumped out of the water. The very first instant this happened, you didn’t pay much mind to it, thinking it was a coincidence. But then she did it again and again. Just as you lifted your hand up each time.

Progress.

Of course, you were to report every incident, but you chose not to tell them about this new revelation. You were afraid they will exploit her for money even more.

So, as you never reported any progress, Claire decided to send another trainer in.

Owen Grady.

He was supposed to look at your work for a month. You hated being supervised like that.

“Mr. Grady, nice to meet you, my name is Y/N Y/L/N. I’m Momo’s caretaker.”

“Please just call me Owen. To be honest I’m as happy to be here as you are. I’d rather be with my girls, so please just give me a quick run through, so I can leave.” 

“Okay...But, Owen. Claire said that you are to watch me for a month.”

“A MONTH? She didn’t mention that to me. Or I wasn’t listening. Probably the latter.” he made you laugh a little. Maybe it was better that he was the one who was sent and not some uptight ass. 

“Alright. So, it’s hard to miss her tank, or her. She eats a lot. There are public feedings, every two hour she gets a shark. I have been with her since she was born. Little thing she was. She is very stubborn, but I did hand feed her in her early years. She gave me a lovely scar too. From my wrist to my pinky on my left hand.” you showed him the scar. “Silly mistake. But I learned from it.”

“Do you talk to her?”

“I do. Steve thinks I’m mental, since she is under water, she wouldn’t hear. But I like to think that she somehow feels that I talk to her you know?”

He nodded and looked around, then up. He noticed a long walking platform way up high. 

“What’s that?” you looked up where he was looking.

“That is the new idea. Guests would be able to go up there and watch her from there. But they are not sure if she can jump that high, so it’s still not very safe. Although I told them that she wouldn’t be able to, they want to be safe. We can go up if you want to.”

You hated being up there, your fear of heights didn’t help you either. 

“You okay there?” Owen asked as he watched you taking deep breaths and your hands gripping the railing.

“No. I hate it up here.”

“Then why did you suggest to come up?” he laughed.

“I don’t know. It was silly. Can you see her?”

“Yes. She is...swimming. Shockingly. She is 84 feet long and she weights over 30,000 lbs, when the last time we checked. She is rather calm. Prefers to swim around and eats when she is supposed to. She is not socialized with other dinos, considering that the majority would drown in her enclosure. Can we go down now, please?”

Owen stood there, looking at the huge water monster swimming right below him. Then he looked up at you, and gave you a nod.

***

Owen has been working with you for the last week. He gave many ideas on what to do and how to earn their trust.

You also didn’t fail to notice how muscular and handsome he was. 

Each morning he arrived on his bike, looking sexy as can be. And every day he observed you. He watched as you said hi to her every morning, said how you liked to make sure her food was correctly prepared. It was obvious for him that you cared about the Mosasaurus very much. 

Owen wasn’t sure what else they wanted from the dino himself, He knew they created her as an amusement for viewers as a feeding show and nothing more. So, then why did Claire wanted him to come here and watch over you. As far as he was concerned, this particular dino wasn’t even the need of a caretaker. She just swam around and ate sharks as an attraction. He suspected there was something more behind the story he had been told. 

Owen admittedly loved the Underwater Observatory. It was cool down there, not only the weather, but they you can look into the enclosure and watch the majestic beast.

He also took a liking to it’s trainer. Even if he wasn’t sure what you were training the dino to do.

“How about tomorrow you come over to the raptors? I can show them off for you like you did with Momo.” Owen came up with the idea on his second week during lunch time.

“Oh, sure. I would like to.” Little did he know that you showed the very least to him.

During his two weeks, Owen and you formed some kind of friendship. You would be lying if you said that you didn’t like him, even if you knew about the rumors about his dating methods. But he never once hinted on anything with you. Or you just didn’t notice. Which was also a possibility, you were quite oblivious with men.

So, the next day after making sure that Momo was all set and healthy, we headed to the raptors. 

Although I wasn’t that interested in land species, his four girls amazed you. 

“Wow. they listen to you so well.” you said smiling at him as you watched the four inside the paddock. 

Owen looked very proud of himself. 

You spent all day at the velociraptor paddock. Owen told you about the plans that they had. And it was exactly what you feared would happen to your girl.

Exploiting them for military or personal gain. 

The thought disgusted you.

These were amazing creatures. In your opinion you should be learning from them, and not using them for war.

In the evening, everyone has left, you and Owen were still at the raptors’ paddock. You looked down at them running around.

“I don’t want Momo to have the same fate. Military? Really? That’s what we are doing now? These creatures are amazing, beautiful. Even the fact that we keep them on display is rather disgusting let alone using them as weapons.”

“I agree with you. But I can also see how they would be able to save many lives. Men and women.”

“But they will never be able to control them like that. Not by their own free will. It takes time. You have known them since they were little. Momo is... she is basically an attraction to them, nothing more. They wanted me to each her tricks. Like she was a fucking pony. Jumping through loops and whatnot. And when I refused, they threatened to throw me out. So, I had to come up with something. Telling them that she is not able to do such things. Even if it’s a lie.” you eyes widened at what you just said. You just confessed your greatest secret. 

“What do you mean lie? So, she can jump?” you panicked a little but his calm demeanor helped you a little.

“S-She can. Not as high as those railings go but...She can. Oh, Owen, please don’t tell Claire. They will make her into a complete circus animal, more than she already is.” you didn’t even realize but you were so desperate that you grabbed his forearm, pleading with him.

“I won’t. I promise. I decided on my second day over there that I will tell her that you are taking a good care of her and that a Mosasaurus is not a dolphin you can teach tricks to. But I’m clearly wrong. Could you show me?”

You were soon standing by her tank. Owen looked down at the water.

“I never understood. If she can get the shark from there, why doesn’t she jump out to get the guests?”

“Well, one, they are too small, so she is not interested and two, her species main food source comes from the water or from above such as flying dinosaurs. But as you can see her water is lower than the path, they made this safe so she wouldn’t jump out and eat guests.”

“I see. So how does this work? I don’t guess that you whistle to her.” Owen said as he stood next to you.

“No. I just...” it was easier to show him, so you reached your hand out as far as you could before moving it up.

And just as you did, she jumped out of the water and back in, as elegantly as a dino of her size possibly could. 

“Wow.” Owen watched as the water splashed neither of you cared that you were soaked.

“One night. I was talking to her. And as I moved my hand, she started doing things. She can also spin, but that looked better down under the water.”

“She listens to you.”

“I like to think that if I was to fall into the water one day, she won’t eat me immediately, but I might be too naïve.” Owen looked at you and all he could think is how beautiful you looked.

“This really is something else. You must have an amazing bond.” you smiled at Owen who got your now soaked wet hair out of your face. He slowly leaned down and was about to place his lips on yours when another sudden splash of water interrupted him. He groaned and as he looked down at the water noticed Momo slowly descending into the water. 

You only laughed at the annoyed expression on Owen’s face.

“Maybe take me on a date first, Mr. Grady, I think then she will approve.” you said as he finally looked back at you.

His eyes softened.

Maybe you will thank Claire later for sending Owen over. Who could have thought that two trainers would find each other on an island like that? 

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[infin-8-morphosis]

Hey-ho look at my cool thingo

Redesigned these fire raptors AGAIN and I think I'm finally happy with them.

Inane ramblings about them and what I've been up to below. I would put a readmore but well I guess if people dont like long posts they'd have the post shortener on. I'll tag it anyway tho.

It's probably unwise and unfair to my other creations to start the arduous and fraught task of modelling something I've only JUST made but I really wanted to and here we are.

This one is perfect to practice both multires/baking details as well as proper fur. Not super happy with it so far? Its objectively well modelled but it's not really looking like the drawing yet. Such is the struggle of 3d. Ttrrryyying to model them naked/neutral sex-wise first, not sure if that'll work out.

Biology wise, these guys are wierd. They're related to the dragony group, but not suuper closely. After all they lost all their lower limbs while some dragons still have all 8. Unlike them they dont really show any vestigial parts/repurposing, but that may change.

Fun fact, they are not feathered. Their frills are flaps of cartilage covered in hair. Its probably not super soft, since its derived from scales.

I maaaaay be giving them a third eye? Probably not a conplete one though. See, the common ancestor of their group wouldve had 4 eyes, one on the bottom, top, left, right. I will have to do more work to see exactly which ones lost eyes before I say whether these guys do or not.

Struggling a bit with the feeling I never finish stuff, which is true because 'finished' is an arbitrary line, and I never want to feel obligated to stick with something I no longer like just because it's 'done', but, well, then you get sucked into the alluring tornado of only ever redoing stuff and never progressing. Redoing stuff feels soooo fun and rewarding though.

If you made it here, coolio. Have a look at this guys design evolution:

The original, very yellow, always liked and failed to improve on its upright posture and flowing tail

The redo that got a little out of hand, love it, gorgeous, still some of my best detail work, was in a bit of a realism phase, and lost a lot of the orignals uniqueness in it, but still, great

The re-re-do, an attempt, and maybe failure, to recapture the original, but kind of ended up just feeling like a halfway compromise between the two while having neithers good points. At the least I got rid of the beak which was a great choice. Much better hands too. However this one really solidified their inner workings, habitat, etc. that was key to how I went about re-re-redoing it.

The re-re-redo! Theyre now more upright again, woohoo, finally got it, tails awkward and im still not 100% on it, but its much more reflective of its evolution. Made them more bald like a vulture since they live in a desert, plus, for the new theoretical potential 'female' design, a sandy coat. I'm not 100% on them being dimorphic, texhnically I have an explanation for why theyd be black in a desert, but I thought it'd be fun and make them feel more fitting.

Fun fact, their tassels are actually sensory structures, sort of a nose, sort of an ear, picks up vibrations and chemicals on the wind, basically an antennae. Funner fact, the dragons horns are homologous to these, and serve the same purpose, just heavily modified!

[kujakumai]

4Kids Yugioh Dub Names, rated

Yugi Moto - They clearly left this one alone just because the title is “Yugioh.” Unchanged/10.

Joey Wheeler - Clearly chosen for its resemblance to Jounichi. Cute, catchy, and plain. 6/10.

Téa Gardner - I have never actually heard the name Téa outside of Yugioh, but looking it up it was apparently in the top 1000 in the US in the 90′s. No idea why they went with it, though, seems pretty random. 3/10.

Tristan Taylor - Maintains the alliteration of “Hiroto Honda,” which shows a cute attention to detail. Otherwise just a pretty ordinary name. 6/10. 

Ryo Bakura - Do they ever call him Ryo in the dub? I feel like the uninitiated dub watcher would assume Bakura was his first name. Bizarrely inconsistent that they left this alone. Unchanged/10.

Seto Kaiba - Kaiba is too rich and cool to let anyone touch his name. Unchanged/10.

Solomon Moto - I mean, sure, why not? If it fits the mouth flaps, I guess. 4/10.

Mai Valentine - An ace attorney-tier pun name, while maintaining her original first name. Cute and gets her personality across. 9/10.

Weevil Underwood - Extremely good name. Perfectly gets across both his bug theme and his nasty little personality, knowing that “insector” would be way too blatant to an english audience. Perfectly toes the line between cheesy and clever. 10/10.

Rex Raptor - Like Weevil, shows an understanding that just naming a guy “Dinosaur” in english would be way too blatant while also perfectly getting his cheesy theme across. 10/10.

Mako Tsunami - Y’know what? I like it. 8/10.

Maximillian Pegasus - Pegasus’s original name, Pegasus J. Crawford, wasn’t Japanese in the first place. Did they think kids wouldn’t accept a dude named Pegasus? Did they just want to emphasize that he’s rich and cool with a name like Maximillian instead of an uncool name like Crawford? I have no idea. 7/10.

Mokuba Kaiba - Presumably left alone to go along with his brother. Still, we had to change “Anzu” but “Mokuba�� is fine? Really? Unchanged/10.

Marik Ishtar - Was it a reasonable mistake to mistransliterate Malik’s name, since Japanese has no L/R distinction? Yes. Would it have taken literally only two minutes of research to know that “Malik” is a pretty common and well-known Arabic name, whereas “Marik” is...nothing? Also yes. At least they got Ishtar right. Malik sweetie I’m so sorry. 3/10. 

Odion Ishtar - Okay, so his original name is Rishid, an Arabic name, and his 4kids name is Odion, an Igbo name. I have no idea what rationale they possibly had for changing this. ???/10. 

[jobean12-blog]

Falling For You

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Word Count: 1,251

Summary: Steve comes to your rescue in more ways than one. 

Author’s Note: This is for the HBC’s @the-ce-horniest-book-club drunk drabbles and the fun prompt below and a sweet ask I got from @leniram1890 Honestly, if I’m going to faint, I’d like to faint into Steve Rogers arms please! Hope you enjoy this! Thank you all for reading! Much love always! ❤❤❤

Warnings: soft fluff, sweet Steve, implied smut and steamy fun! :) 

The kitchen is dark and quiet by the time you start searching for something to eat, dinner a distant memory after working through both that and lunch. Your stomach grumbles and you sigh, feeling tired enough to fall asleep right there on the counter. You finally find a box of mac and cheese and give a small cheer of happiness, grabbing the supplies and getting started.

“Do you want some light?” The deep and gravelly voice makes you jump, your hand clutched to your chest as you spin around and spot a grinning Steve Rogers at the island. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you sweetheart.” You’re glad the space is dark and hiding the blush that’s creeping up to your cheeks at Steve’s term of endearment.

“It’s ok. And actually, I prefer it a little dark, I’ve been working with Tony in the lab since last night and I’ve barely eaten or slept so I think less light is good.” Steve nods in understanding and leans over the island, “what are you making?” You hold up the box of mac and cheese and smile, “one of my favorites. I just wish it would cook faster.”

“Me too. And what’s the saying, a watched pot never boils?” Letting out a little laugh you step away from the stove and sit on one of the stools, resting your head in your hands. “You’re welcome to have some when it’s done.” He gives you that sideways smirk you love so much and gets some bowls, “thanks, I’m always hungry.”

You give yourself a moment to admire his backside as he gets some utensils and napkins, quickly averting your gaze when he comes to sit next to you. Your phone dings, pulling you from your lascivious thoughts, “oh gosh, it’s Tony, excuse me one minute.” You take the call, nodding your head and making a few noises of agreement as Tony gives you an update. Hanging up you let your shoulders sag, “I have to run back down to the lab. I’m sorry. I’ll make you mac and cheese soon. I promise.”

Steve watches as you leave, opening his mouth to tell you it’s ok and he would love to make it a date but you’re out of the room before he can speak. You mumble under your breath the whole way down on the elevator, quietly cursing Tony for his poor timing. Not that you’re sure anything would have come from your little mac and cheese dinner, but at least you were spending time with Steve.

Tony fills you in on his discovery and you get back to work, trying your best to ignore your tiredness and hunger. When you run into a small hurdle, Tony rushes out of the lab to ask Bruce for some supplies while you move onto something else.

You’re so caught up in what you’re doing that you don’t hear Steve enter the lab, but you do smell something comforting and familiar that gets your attention. Looking up you find him standing by the door with two steaming bowls of mac and cheese and a soft smile. “Thought you might still be hungry.”

Your face lights up, “oh thank you Steve, I’m starving! You have perfect timing. Tony went to see Bruce about something.” Steve rounds the table and places down the bowls, gently rubbing your back before he pulls out your chair. You sit and stare as he sits next to you, pushing the bowl closer and grabbing the spoon, “I’m happy to do it, I was worried you wouldn’t get to eat again.”

Taking the spoon, you start to lift it up to your lips but suddenly get hit with a wave of dizziness. The room spins and Steve’s figure blurs before everything goes black. By the time things come back into focus you’re looking up into Steve’s baby blue eyes and his strong arms are wrapped around your body.

“Hey there beautiful. You’re ok. I’ve got you.” You try to sit up but you’re too weak and Steve pulls you onto his lap. “What happened Steve? I thought I was eating mac and cheese.” He laughs and you can’t help but swoon over the way his eyes crinkle at the corners. “You fainted…straight into my arms. I think you’re a bit overworked.”

Rubbing your head, you rest it against his chest, “yea, I’m shot. And I’m still hungry.” His body shakes with more laughter and you join him, loving the feeling of his warmth so close. “You know, if you wanted my attention you didn’t have to go to such extremes.” That comment gets you up, your eyes now level with his, “what do you mean?”

Steve’s gaze drops to your lips, his face now close enough that you can see the small gray hairs in his beard. “I wanted to make our mac and cheese date official, but you rain off before I could ask.” Your arms snake around his neck and you adjust yourself in his lap, grinning when you feel him throb beneath you. “Is that so? Well who says we can’t make it an official date right now?”

He tilts his head, pausing when his lips are just a breath from yours, “I’d love that but you’re going to have to let me take you out properly after this.” You whisper “ok,” and trace your tongue over your lips, letting your fingers tangle in the hair at the base of his neck. Steve groans under your touch and he leans a little closer, his lips now brushing yours.

“You need to eat, you’re starving, remember.” He doesn’t move away, and you close your eyes when the soft hairs of his beard tickle your cheek, “I think I can wait a little longer.” Steve closes the gap, and you moan into his mouth, letting his tongue part your lips with a kiss that wipes away all thoughts of anything else but him.

He adjusts you in his lap so you’re straddling him, his hands making quick work of your lab coat so he can feel your skin. Hot, wet kisses along your neck have you throwing your head back to give him better access as your hands roam over the dips and curves of his muscles. When you rock your hips, Steve lets out a low growl, his fingertips brushing under your shirt just as Tony clears his throat.

“Really not what I was hoping to see when I got back down here. You two just about done or…?” Steve smirks at you before he sends a glare Tony’s way, “actually, we’re not but she’s coming with me and we’re taking the mac and cheese.” Tony purses his lips as he watches Steve pick you up, your legs wrapping around his waist before he hands you one bowl of mac and cheese and he takes the other. “See ya Tony.”

By the time you make it back to your room the food is long forgotten, and your clothes are scattered along a path that leads to the bathroom. Steve has you pressed against the cool tiles as his lips somehow ignite your skin even under the steamy water. “You still haven’t eaten,” he teases into your neck, making you shiver. Your only answer is to dip your hand between your bodies and massage him.  Biting your soft skin to stifle his moan he brings his lips to yours, “and I can’t promise I’m going to let you out of here any time soon.”

@addikted-2-dopamine @bugsbucky @book-dragon-13 @donutloverxo @chuuulip @eurynome827 @hiddles-rose @harrysthiccthighss @hailmary-yramliah @hawksmagnolia @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @jhangelface0523 @jewels2876 @loricameback @lorilane33 @lookiamtrying @marvelandotherfandomimagines @marvelgirl7 @nano--raptor @nerdypinupcrystal @pinkdiamond1016 @randomfandompenguin @sallycanwait68 @tuiccim @this-kitten-is-smitten @the-wayward-robot​

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

Can you talk about autistic Hawk/Eil

Sure, I’d love to!!!

Credit where credit is due, of course--I got a lot of my Autistic Eli headcanons from @jackonthelongwalk, who’s got a little more authority to speak on the subject since he’s actually autistic and whatnot. I mainly just saw his takes and was like “THOSE ARE GOOD TAKES” and adopted all of them XD Although I DID come up with a few of my own headcanons!!! I’ll just compile everything here.

~Eli tends to be pretty particular about physical touch, and a lot of the time he doesn’t really like it. Over the years, Demetri’s found that one type of touch that Eli’s okay with is shoulder-squeezing, and it kinda becomes their thing. Typically Demetri giving Eli a quick shoulder squeeze helps comfort him and makes him feel safe by basically reassuring him “I’m here for you, I’ve got your back.” You can see Demetri give Eli a shoulder squeeze in 2x09 when he’s comforting him about Moon, and he does the EXACT same one in the school fight in 2x10 just before kicking him into the trophy case. I think it was his way of saying “even though we’re fighting right now, I still care about you” and that kinda helped snap Hawk out of his near-psychopathic rage. In Season 3, he’s still shitty to Demetri, obviously, but it’s more controlled, not as unhinged or feral--even when Hawk breaks his arm, he hesitates a LOT before and regrets it IMMEDIATELY after in a way I’m not sure his UNCHECKED RAEEEGE self would have during the school fight.

~Over the years Demetri develops kind of a sixth sense of when Eli is about to have a meltdown. He’s able to pick up on super minute changes in body language, changes in the way Eli speaks, small alterations in Eli’s general temperament--basically anything that indicates he’s getting overwhelmed. That’s actually how he discovers the shoulder squeeze tactic--Demetri realizes he needs a quick way to comfort and reassure Eli when he can’t go in for a full hug (like they’re in the middle of class or something) so he can calm Eli down a bit and stop him from having a meltdown. Mainly because Demetri knows the bullies will have a field day if Eli cries in front of the other kids, so the shoulder squeeze develops as sort of a way to protect Eli from this.

~At some point after Demetri first started using the shoulder touch/squeeze on Eli, Eli started also using it on Demetri to quickly communicate affection/appreciation. Demetri isn’t nearly as touch-averse or picky with physical touch as Eli, and would’ve been okay with a number of physical touches, but he’s honestly super touched that Eli saw him doing a thing and was like “Oh hey!!! Demetri does this thing to me and it makes me feel safe and loved, so I’m sure it’ll do the same if I do it to him!!!” It kinda becomes their special touch, and becomes somewhat of a silent “I love you” (although obviously these two clueless idiots are led to believe it’s ONLY platonic love for many, many years XD). You can see Eli give a little shoulder pat/squeeze to Demetri at the beach party in 1x09!!

~Eli really does not like being touched around or under the chin, mainly because this is how bullies like Kyler touch him and it’s triggering for him. Demetri basically never touches him here. Even after they get together and start getting intimate, Demetri tends to touch/stroke Eli’s cheeks or the side of his head if he wants to touch his face, but he avoids touching Eli’s chin like the plague because he knows how much Eli dislikes it. This is something Eli really deeply appreciates--even Moon wasn’t able to catch on to the fact that he didn’t like having his chin touched, and he was too obsessed with coming across as “tough” to her to admit that it bothered him. Moon didn’t mean any harm at all, of course, she just wasn’t able to pick up on his more subtle indications that he wasn’t a huge fan of chin touches. Demetri has come to pick these indications up by second nature.

~The whole thing Demetri does at the beginning of the show where he kinda talks “for” Eli (the thing that, ironically, people loooooove to blast him about for being a “terrible friend”) I think is largely done because Eli is autistic. Eli seems to have a lot of social anxiety right from the get-go--he doesn’t even verbally greet Miguel when he first sits with him and Demetri and Demetri introduces Eli. Eli just kinda awkwardly smiles and nods at him. He’s obviously not great with social cues either, which we see later on--he’s so PAINFULLY oblivious to the fact that Piper is super not at all into it when he tries to hit on her in Season 2. I imagine after a number of social blunders in their youth, and seeing just how uncomfortable and anxious social situations made Eli, Demetri took the reigns and did a lot of communicating FOR Eli to take some of the pressure off of him to talk. I’d argue that once Demetri is taken out of the picture, we can see in full force JUST how socially anxious and uncomfortable Eli really is--he seems damn near terrified trying to stand up for himself against Johnny when Demetri’s not there. He’s lowkey stuttering and tripping over his words, his voice is shaking. He nearly leaves the room in tears. He’s used to letting Demetri be his voice, and this seems to be what makes him feel safest and most secure. When this is taken away, he has to find a new way to protect himself--hence, possibly, the entire Hawk persona.

~Eli has a lot of issues with emotional regulation and often feels emotions really, really strongly and gets overwhelmed by them--as an ADHDer, this is a struggle I understand SO MUCH. When Eli gets really overwhelmed with strong emotion, he tends to have meltdowns. These can be either sadness-based meltdowns (like we see in the flashback) or angry meltdowns (like we see when he beats Brucks up). Due to his emotional regulation issues, Eli has a really hard time hiding his emotions or stopping a meltdown once it kinda onsets--this is why he tends to “bawl” at movies. Once he starts crying, he can’t really stop, or reign it in--it just keeps coming. He also can’t really hold it back--his emotions tend to force their way out, whether he wants them to or not. This is also why he goes so HARD when he’s angry--wailing on Brucks, throwing punch after punch at Demetri at the school fight, getting carried away and attacking Robby’s injured shoulder at the tournament. His anger (and other emotions) tends to just kinda explode out, and he has a really hard time reigning them back in and keeping them in check. Demetri, ever the voice of ration and reason, can help with this--and probably has a lot, historically. With Demetri less and less in the picture and their relationship on the rocks, Eli’s emotions just seem to get even more wild and uncontrolled, particularly his anger. Part of the reason I think Demetri and Eli work so well together--Eli tends to get very caught up in his emotions (no shame in that--I’ll admit I do too!), and needs someone to help him keep his feet on the ground and be the pragmatist who helps him keep things in perspective.

~Karate is most definitely a special interest for him. It lowkey takes over his life and he makes it damn near his entire identity--big special interest energy. And Demetri (at first, at least) is lowkey so supportive!!! Like he goes to the all-valley tournament to support and cheer Eli on, despite not having any personal interest in fighting and seeming to think the whole thing is the kind of dumb macho shit that goes against everything his nerd identity stands for XD But he goes to the tournament anyways to clap for his boyfriend best friend’s badassery!!! The real MVP!!! Also special interests in general (not unlike ADHD hyperfixations) tend to be very random, hence why seemingly out of nowhere Eli gets absolutely OBSESSED with karate.

~Just a random little headcanon I have (I think I mentioned it on one of my general headcanon posts), but I like to think after Eli adopts the whole “Hawk” persona, he gets a special interest in birds of prey in general for a little while. Like back before he’s too “tough” for anything even remotely related to “nerd shit,” he watches nature documentaries on raptors and the whole 9 yards and constantly rambles excitedly to Demetri about how badass he thinks they are, and how cool it is that they can “literally hunt mice from the sky and shit” (probably an exact quote from him). Demetri finds this sudden new obsession both amusing and kind of endearing--but as always, he shows an interest in it and accommodates it as best he can. I imagine he’s seen Eli go through a number of special interests over the years, and is a pro by now on how to handle them (my own childhood best friend is a fellow ADHDer, and he was CONSTANTLY getting new hyperfixations--I imagine it was something like that XD).

~The whole “Hawk” persona in general seems pretty autistic, speaking of that--like it’s almost entirely based in mimicry and masking. Like Hawk pretty frequently mimics Johnny’s expressions, body language, and speech patterns, and (at least at first) Miguel’s fighting style. He also starts to mimic a lot of Kreese’s problematic views and general “never accept defeat” attitude in late Season 2 and Season 3, setting his good old Bastardization Arc in full swing. The whole Hawk thing could easily be masking, especially given how exaggerated and overdramatic Eli’s facial expressions, voice, and actions tend to be when he’s trying to be Hawk. When he slips back into “Eli” (or how he was before he adopted the mask), it’s usually around Demetri (i.e. the Doctor Who conversation)--which makes sense, since Demetri “gets” Eli better than most people and Eli doesn’t have to mask or overexaggerate his expressions or statements to communicate effectively with Demetri. They’ve known each other so long and Demetri is so familiar with his body language and mannerisms that Demetri is able to pick up fairly easily on what Eli’s trying to communicate/express without Eli having to work too hard at getting his point across. It’s why Eli’s expressions and body language aren’t nearly as exaggerated around Demetri, even when he’s trying to intimidate him--he knows he doesn’t have to overstate what he’s doing to communicate with Demetri.

~Relating back to the social troubles and social anxiety thing, I think Eli has always had trouble communicating verbally, hence why he’s so quiet at first. And even when he does get more talkative, a lot of it is mimicking other people’s speech patterns and ideas (namely Johnny’s at first)--it doesn’t really feel like him talking. Even alone with Demetri, he tends to prefer to let Demetri do the talking, hence Demetri saying Eli’s a “man of few words.” He often prefers to communicate nonverbally through body language, and when he DOES communicate verbally, he does it somewhat sparingly and chooses his words carefully, not usually bothering to say things he doesn’t mean (if he isn’t masking, anyways). THIS is why Demetri was so ready to accept such a short, concise “I’m sorry for all of it” from Eli instead of a long, drawn-out apology for each individual thing he did wrong. Eli knows he doesn’t have to bother masking to communicate with Demetri, so he’s not going to bother saying something that isn’t genuine. Eli has never been the greatest at articulating his thoughts verbally either, so TRYING to apologize for each individual thing he did to Demetri would be extremely hard for him, and Demetri knows this. This is why he accepts Eli’s apology without question and doesn’t expect him to elaborate on it. He knows Eli’s communicating a lot more than he’s actually saying aloud, if that makes any sense, and he cares more about the entirety of what Eli’s trying to say rather than just the spoken part. And Eli definitely communicates he’s genuinely remorseful through his actions as well--saving Demetri from the Cobras, teaming up with Demetri afterwards to help Deme’s side win the fight, straight up openly  BETRAYING Kreese and Cobra Kai AT GREAT PERSONAL RISK TO HIMSELF (especially if Tory’s threat is anything to go by!!!) in order to go back to Demetri. Honestly, given everything he knows about Eli and how he operates, expresses himself, and communicates, I highly doubt Demetri expects at all for Eli to go on a long, detailed rant about how sorry he is and is honestly just grateful to have Eli back in his life.

~I think at the beginning of the show, Demetri puts a lot of work into helping Eli feel as safe and secure as possible--possibly in part because Eli’s autism makes him feel kinda isolated as a “freak” or “outcast” or what have you. Demetri makes an effort to crack jokes and make Eli laugh when no one else will, possibly to help Eli feel more relaxed and at ease. And Demetri’s reluctance to try out karate could be a kind of misguided overprotectiveness on his part--he’s spent a lot of time building up their own little world for them where he can keep Eli relatively comfortable, and he’s worried anything that interferes with that or shakes up the status quo is going to stress out or overwhelm Eli too much. Demetri wants to keep things as they are, because even if it’s not perfect, and they still get bullied on the regular, at least he KNOWS how best to help Eli and help him feel better (or at least he thinks he does) in their current situation (i.e. “I think we’d rather spend our afternoons playing Crucible Control than getting hit in the face”). If they were put into a drastically different new situation, he WOULDN’T know how he should best assist and support Eli with it, and that scares him a lot--because he’s ALWAYS kind of intuitively known how to help Eli, and the thought of anything changing that makes him terrified that without him, Eli is going to get really hurt somehow.

I think that just about covers everything--might add more stuff if I think of it! Definitely go check out @jackonthelongwalk’s blog for more quality, in-depth autistic Eli content!!!

[howaboutalittlehelpneos]

What are everyone’s teams in your Pokemon au? Do you have a plot set out or is it a more causal au?

Oooooh this is a fun one

You'd better fucking BELIEVE we have a plot set up, I have poured so much effort into the Pokemon au

Okay, so: when it comes to teams, I decided that everyone should have at least one legendary Pokemon in their party as a way to be faithful to the ace monster concept, but it wasn’t until much later into the au that I realized I’d failed to do that with Sora’s team, which led to a very fun plot point involving his secret 7th Pokemon he keeps in his box

Teams under the cut because it’s gonna be a long one, boys

Yuya has: Groudon, Sandshrew, Popplio, Hippopotas, Aipom, and Ekans

In his box, he’s got Phanphy, Charmander, Politoad, Ducklett, Liepard, Skorupi, and Lycanroc (Midnight form)

I wanted him to have as many Pokemon as he could that reminded me of the monsters in his deck, and since Yuya is a coordinator in this au instead of a regular trainer, it just felt right that he’d have a lot of different partners he could swap out for various contests

Also I’m mad that there isn’t a legendary dragon that looks like Odd Eyes, so I had to give Yuya Groudon instead, making him the only Yu boy in this au to not have a legendary dragon type Pokemon

Yuto has: Eternatus, Bisharp, Aegislash, Aggron, Lucario, and Shadow Rider Calyrex

Okay listen, I know I was supposed to only give everyone One legendary Pokemon, but with Calyrex I feel justified because it looks So Much like it could be one of Yuto’s Phantom Knights, I mean

Just look at it

Yuto gets to have two legendaries to make up for Arc-V killing him off so early into the show

Aside from this guy, the rest of Yuto’s team just felt like it should be comprised of steel types ow the edge so that’s what I gave him. His Pokemon are as edgy as he tries to appear to be and that is enough to amuse me.

There also weren’t exactly many good Pokemon equivalents of his archetype, so I made do with what I had.

Yugo has: Latios, Scizor, Claydol, Porygon 2, Ponyta (Shiny), and Sudowoodo

Yugo was honestly so hard to come up with a team for because all his Speedroid cards are just like... toys and stuff for the most part, so I agonized over what I should pick for him for a Long time. In the end, I feel like I got close enough to his general aesthetic with the Pokemon I picked.

(His Ponyta is there because of Speedroid Horse Stilts, and while it is a shiny, the dumbass has no idea about it, and thinks he just happened to get a special blue horse that was born a little differently- he never claimed to be smart.)

He also deadass thought Sudowoodo was a grass type for the longest time. Rin had to be the one to tell him it wasn’t. 

“Yugo. Sudowoodo? It sounds like pseudo? As in fake wood?”

“Ohhhhh is that what its name means? Wow Rin you’re so smart.”

No Yugo you’re just exceptionally stupid.

Yuri has: Naganadel, Seviper, Victreebel, Toxicroak, Vileplume, and Roserade

For the most toxic of battlers, I felt it only necessary to give Yuri an all poison type team. I included an even mix of plants in there to tie into his Predaplant deck, Seviper for the snake eye vibes, and Toxicroak... just feels right, you know. I couldn’t find any other poison plant themed Pokemon that seemed like they’d fit his vibe, so he gets a poison frog instead.

Yuzu has: Meloetta, Sylveon, Meowstic (Female), Gardevoir, Florges, and Jigglypuff

I tried to stick with Pokemon that had very feminine vibes for Yuzu, since her deck is comprised of pretty singing ladies, so Meloetta and Jigglypuff in particular feel very fitting in that regard.

Serena has: Cresselia, Delcatty, Glameow, Lopunny, Persian, and Pyroar (Female)

The moon vibes with Cresselia felt perfect for Serena, and as for the rest of her team, all cats and a bunny to pay homage to her Lunalight deck ^^

Rin has: Celesteela, Mismagius, Hatterene, Glaceon, Froslass, and Chimecho

Her team vibes with the witch part of her Wind Witch deck, at least for Mismagius and Hatterene. Glaceon, Froslass, and Chimecho are there due to the etymology of her name, where possible meanings of it include “cold” and “bell”, which I thought was pretty cool, no pun intended.

Ruri has: Galarian Articuno, Pidgeot, Noctowl, Chatot, Altaria, and Unfezant (Male)

Some softer birds for the soft bird girl, for the most part. I liked the thought of her team being all birds like her Lyriluscs, and just... yeah. They’re all very friendly birds that Ruri’s bonded pretty closely with. Also I made sure she had Galarian Articuno for no reason other than it is purple like her, and I think that’s all the reason I need.

Gong has: Kartana, Machoke, Samurott, Golisopod, Hariyama, and Conkeldurr

Gong was really easy to assign a team to- just had to find as many samurai themed Pokemon as possible, and fill in the rest with really strong fighting types, like Machoke, Hariyama, and Conkeldurr.

Shingo has: Type: Null, Dusclops, Misdreavus, Spiritomb, Decidueye, and Cramorant

With Shingo, I tried to go for Pokemon that had the same vibes as some of his Abyss Actors, and I think Dusclops is the best example of this. Tbh I am very proud of giving him a Type: Null because Type: Null is an amalgamation of other Pokemon, something that was created in a lab to be a fighting machine. There’s nothing natural about Type: Null, and it’s kind of terrifying to Yuya specifically, who’s always viewed Pokemon as creatures to befriend. This experiment created purely to kill... unnerves him, and serves as a very good foil to his beliefs when it comes to Pokemon.

And they were narrative foils

Oh my god they were narrative foils

On a sillier note, I chose Cramorant purely because of this quote from its bulbapedia page: “Cramorant are also rather unintelligent as they can't remember which Pokémon they fight in mid battle, but never forget Trainers that they trust. However, they try to attack their Trainers if they steal food from them.”

I just thought the idea of Shingo having this dumb bird that occasionally pecks at him over food would be funny tbh, gotta dunk on the rival at least a little bit.

Sora has: Banette, Vanillish, Swirlix, Stufful, Litleo, and Buneary

In his box, he has a Guzzlord

I feel like Sora’s team is very straightforward, as it’s a mix of sweets themed Pokemon, and Pokemon that represent monsters in his deck- Stufful for Flufflal Bear, Litleo for Fluffal Leo, and Buneary for Fluffal Rabbit. Guzzlord... is relevant later on in the plot after shit goes down, that’s all I’ll say for now.

Masumi has: Diancie, Sableye, Corsola, Aurorus, Tyranitar, and Lycanroc (Dusk form)

Gem Knight girl deserved to have a bunch of good rock type Pokemon, and Diancie is like. The best possible legendary I could have given someone like her lol, the crystal aesthetic is just perfect for her. Not much to say here honestly, I just really vibed with these specific rock types and thought they’d make a good team for her.

Yaiba has: Zeraora, Kecleon, Pangoro, Scyther, Purugly, and Stantler

So I actually threw this list together just now because I realized Masumi was the only member of her trio to have a full team, and that just wasn’t right. I tried to base this team off the XX-Sabers as well I could, but it was a little hard with how many humanoid cards Yaiba has. With his legendary, I actually chose it based off this monster right here! 

I think they’ve got similar enough vibes aesthetically for Zeraora to fit him. Scyther is based on Emmersblade, Kecleon on Ragigura, Stantler on Garsem, Purugly on Gardestrike, and Pangoro... Honestly, it just makes me think of Yaiba himself when I look at him. I think they’d get along well.

Hokuto has: Deoxys, Espeon, Grumpig, Starmie, Lunatone, and Malamar

Psychic type Pokemon just sort of felt right for him to have, considering that his deck is based on constellations and has an overall space theme to it. Not sure why that translates over to psychic in my brain, but you know what, it looks right, I love this team for him, and I’m not gonna question it.

I especially think Deoxys makes a good legendary for him considering it is literally a space alien, and Hokuto’s whole thing is space, so yeah, he gets to have the space alien.

Shun has: Galarian Moltres, Skarmory, Fearow, Dodrio, Staraptor, and Talonflame

Pretty straightforward team I feel- it’s all birds of prey for the Raid Raptor boy, and I just thought the Galarian version of Moltres was neat. Makes me think of his Blaze Falcon since they’re both black and red.

Dennis has: Hoopa, Mr. Mime, Delphox, Zoroark, Alakazam, and Hawlucha

Hoopa seemed like a very good legendary for Dennis to have, given his deck archetype and all, he just kind of looks like a little circus dude. Its unbound form makes me think about the swap Dennis has when it gets revealed that he’s actually been a double agent the whole time, and the play gloves finally come off.

The rest of his team... I feel like they speak for themselves. I tried to give him Pokemon that matched up with his deck archetype, so there’s Delphox to rep the fire themed monsters, Mr. Mime because it just fits Dennis’ general personality- and I love the thought of those two being friends and just copying each other’s theatric poses. Chaotic dynamic duo.

(Also: Zoroark's ability letting it disguise itself as another Pokemon is just another parallel to Dennis pretending to be one of the good guys at first, and I love it)

Shinji has: Buzzwole, Beedrill, Vespiquen, Ribombee, Kricketune, and Leavanny

I tried to give the bee man all the bees I could, but there are only so many bee Pokemon out there 😔 I knew the rest of his team had to be insect types to make up for it, so I picked Kricketune because he is just... a friend... a musical buddy who definitely gets along well with the kids. Leavanny is just a bug mom who also helps patch up the kids’ clothing when they get tears in them, which I just love the idea of. Sweet bug mom whose dex entry talks about how they sew for other Pokemon looks after her trainer’s kids when she’s not battling.

Buzzwole: witness the fitness

Throwback to the Smash Bros mains lmao 

Crow has: Murkrow, Braviary, Starly, Swellow, Pikipek, and Corviknight

Bunch of birds for my Blackwing user... This team was partially picked out by June, and it was mostly meant for the Other Pokemon au, but I don’t really see a reason to change his team here. Crow is the one person without a legendary on his team, which makes me sad, but there really isn’t a legendary bird out there that fits his vibes, so as much as I wanna give him a legendary, he will have to make do without one. Sorry Crow.

Hoo... that’s finally all the teams down. Now I can talk about the plot! So, as I briefly mentioned in a previous post (I think), this particular au is inspired by Pokemon Diamond/Pearl/Platinum! It’s the era where contests really became a big thing, which is perfect for a lot of these characters because it’s easy to translate dueltaining over to coordinating in this world. Much like in canon, Yuya aspires to be as great a coordinator as his dad was, and strives to entertain people the way Yusho could. He’s not much for battling, and far prefers getting to show off his Pokemon’s talents in contests than anything. 

Academia is going to play the role of Team Galactic in this au, which is incredibly fitting with their mission in canon: to remake the universe in their leader’s image. In this case, with Leo Akaba taking on the role of Cyrus, his intent is, presumably, to either destroy the universe that took his daughter from him, or create a new one where she can live once again, no matter the cost.

Sora being a key member in Team Galactic is a very big part of the plot in this au: his mission was to capture one of the lake legendaries, Uxie, since Leo needed all three of them for his plan to remake the universe, but things don’t exactly go well for him, and he ends up losing his battle against Uxie, resulting in all of his memories being locked away, and essentially making him a blank slate.

Side note: the Galactic grunt haircut reminds me a lot of Sora, I mean just look at it

Practically same bangs as him, just add an upturned ponytail and you’ve got my son.

This post is getting very long... but I will add one last plot related thing to it before I go: Uxie can erase memories, Mesprit can erase emotions, and Azelf can erase willpower. All three of these lake legendaries play a very important role in the plot, due to being the keys to Leo Akaba’s plans to remake the universe. Sora was touched by Uxie, effectively doing away with all memory he has of being in Team Galactic. Yuya ends up touched by Mesprit in an attempt to save them, and subsequently loses his emotions as a result. Riley?

Riley had been affected by all three of them before the plot began, which is why she is the way she’d been in Arc-V: Emotionless, unable to remember anything about her past except for those brief, fleeting flashes of memory when put into certain situations she’d experienced before, and without any will of her own. She’s so dependent on her older brother because she quite literally has no clue what to do with herself without being told to, and needs orders to function.

Hoo, if you’ve made it all the way to the end of the post, congratulations! I think this is the longest one I’ve made... ever lmao. I hope you guys found it enjoyable! If anyone wants to know more about certain aspects of this au, feel free to ask! I look forward to talking about it more c:

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 14

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter.  I hope you guys like this one! :)  A quick reminder that I’ve set up a Ko-Fi incase you want to support my writing --> ko-fi.com/spine_buster .  Enjoy!

December 25th, 2019

Aberdeen Bloom was celebrating Christmas.

Siena was home from Ottawa, having finished another semester of law school.  Camden was the first one up, naturally, screaming at everybody that it was time to open presents.  The family had been to Midnight Mass the night before, a tradition Orla had the family do every Christmas since they were young.  After opening presents, everybody would shower and help her make the day’s big lunch before passing out in food and wine comas all over the house.  If all went well, Gramma Frances and Grampa Alistair would call and they’d all say hi in a short FaceTime.

“Get up!  Get up!  Get up!” Camden could be heard screaming from the hallway, his footsteps getting louder and louder.  “It’s time to open presents!”

“If he comes in here I’m gonna scream at him,” Siena mumbled into her pillow.  Aberdeen laughed from her side of the room.  

“Siena!  Aberdeen!”

“We’re coming!” Aberdeen yelled, not bothering to move.  

“Hey mom!  Can I finally try coffee?!” their little brother wouldn’t shut up.

The girls snorted, with Siena groaning as she stretched in her bed, unable to fall back asleep.  Eventually they got up and got ready, their little brother’s screams getting too annoying to ignore.  “He’s getting more annoying as he gets older,” Siena said playfully, running a brush through her hair.  

“Yeah,” Aberdeen agreed, “but at least he doesn’t jump into mom and dad’s bed like we did.”

“Remember that time you almost punctured dad’s lung?”

Aberdeen snorted.  “Remember that time you almost broke mom’s nose?”

“Maybe we should do it again for good measure.”

The girls finally emerged from their room, finding Orla in the kitchen pouring coffee.  Camden was dragging Mirza out of his room, Mirza playfully pulling him back in so Camden would slide on the floor.  The family hugged each other before Aberdeen opened a cupboard to get the Chips Ahoy cookies.  Camden snatched one right from her hands.  She chased him around the house.

Opening presents was always fun.  This year, Aberdeen was able to ask around the office for something for Camden, and she ended up with a Kyle Lowry Raptors jersey.  When he opened it, he automatically loved it and hugged it like he was five and it was his favourite new toy.  Aberdeen’s parents gifted her practical things – a chic new laundry basket and a nice throw she could use when she cuddled with Minerva and a bag of Doritos, and Siena bought her two new books she’d wanted to read.  To his credit, even Camden’s gift was cute: a mug that said, “Cat hair, don’t care” in fancy lettering.  

Once the gift giving was over and the family room cleaned of all the wrapping paper, everybody started to get ready.  Orla began seasoning the roast beef and Mirza began preparing the potatoes.  The kids showered and got ready so they’d look nice for photos and for their eventual FaceTime with their grandparents.  Siena stayed on the main floor to begin whipping up the trifle.  Aberdeen brought Camden to the downstairs kitchen with her to help with seasoning and roasting the Brussel sprouts and carrots.  

“So what are the Maple Leafs doing today?” Camden made conversation as Aberdeen sliced the carrots and he laid them in their tray.  

“Which ones?” she asked.  “It’s not like they’re spending it together as a team.  They’re all spending it with their families.”

“What’s John Tavares doing?” he asked.  Camden knew much more about sports than she did.  He found it genuinely cool that his sister was working for the Toronto Maple Leafs, even though he liked the Raptors a little bit more.  When she told him how she sat with Masai Ujiri at the Major Donor Gala, he freaked out and bragged to all his friends.  He was officially one of the coolest kids in school.

“Well, John and his wife Aryne just had a new baby in September, so this is their first Christmas with him.  I think they’re spending it at John’s house with both their families there,” Aberdeen explained.

“What about Auston Matthews?”

“Auston’s entire family came up from Arizona – they’re having a big family lunch like we are.”

“What about Mitch Marner?”

Aberdeen smiled.  “Mitch is spending it with his family, his girlfriend Stephanie, and his dog Zeus.”

“His dog?!” Camden’s face lit up.  “Mom and dad won’t let me get a dog yet.  They say I’m still too young.”

“Just wait,” Aberdeen encouraged him.  “Mom will eventually want to replace me and Siena with a dog, and dad will be too powerless to say no.”

“You think so?”

“Mhm.  What kind of breed do you want?”

“I want a German shepherd.”

Aberdeen laughed at her brother.  He always dreamed big, which was good for a kid his age, but a German shepherd would be bigger than him.  There was no way he’d be able to handle it out on walks.  “Aim smaller.  What about a corgi?”

“That’s your dream dog cause of their butts,” Camden furrowed his brows.  “If mom won’t let me get a German shepherd then I think I want a goldendoodle.  Greg at school has one and it’s really cute.”

“Why don’t you just get a regular poodle and cut its hair really weird like that lady in 101 Dalmatians?”

Camden started to laugh as Aberdeen sliced the last of the carrots.  She made sure they were all lined up nicely before starting on the Brussel sprouts.  “We can shave the Toronto Maple Leafs logo into its hair.”

“Exactly!”

“Then it can become the team dog!” Camden giggled, liking the idea already.  

Aberdeen and Camden stayed in the basement kitchen for almost an hour – enough time so that all the carrots and Brussel sprouts were sufficiently roasted and seasoned properly as Orla taught them.  When the carrots were ready to be brought upstairs, Aberdeen made Camden put on oven mitts and told him to grab the dish.  “Go run these up to mom,” Aberdeen said.  “And absolutely no funny business.  If these fall on the floor nobody in this family will forgive you.”

Camden did as he was told, going up the stairs slowly.  Aberdeen stayed down for another ten minutes, waiting for the Brussel sprouts to finish before putting on her own pair of oven mitts and bringing the plate upstairs.  By then, the roast in the oven smelled impeccably delicious and Aberdeen could already see most of the food on the table as she rounded the corner.  Before she could move any further, Siena came through and blocked her passage and sightline towards the front of the house, a look of panic on her face.  “Ab—Aberdeen,” she was staring at Aberdeen wide-eyed, like she’d just seen a ghost.

“What?  What’s going on?” Aberdeen whispered.

“Hey.”

Aberdeen knew that voice.  She knew that voice anywhere.  She’d be able to recognize it from miles away.  It was the voice that tortured and soothed her all at once.  What was it doing here?  In her house?  Her head turned quickly like she was in The Exorcist.  

And there he was.

William Nylander.  Standing in the middle of the family room.  Her family room.

With her mother.

Aberdeen was going to pass out.

“What are you doing here?” she demanded, almost dropping the plate of Brussel sprouts at her feet.  What was he doing here?  What was he doing here?  How the fuck did he even find out where she lived – where her family lived?  And why did he have a glass of water in his hands?  How long had he been here for him to have been offered a glass of water?  Why didn’t she hear the doorbell?  Why didn’t she hear a knock?  Why hadn’t her parents called down to her in the basement to let her know he showed up unannounced to their Christmas Day family celebrations and why didn’t they—

“Aberdeen!” her mother scolded her as she walked towards her.  “I know he’s a little early but that’s no way to treat the guest you invited.”

Aberdeen glared at William and then glared at her mother.  She was almost rendered speechless by William’s stupid grin on his face.  “I did not invite William to Christm--”

“Aberdeen, please, the Brussel sprouts,” her mother wasn’t having it, walking towards her and grabbing the plate from her hands, only to put it on the table.

Aberdeen looked at William, dressed in a nice pair of navy blue slacks and a fitted grey Ralph Lauren sweater with a collared shirt underneath.  He definitely looked the part of innocent-hockey-player-come-to-spend-Christmas-with-a-welcoming-Canadian-family, but he wasn’t fooling her.  Aberdeen looked back to see her mother disappear into the kitchen again.  Siena was already gone, too.  Good, it made it safe for her to cuss him out.  

“How do I look?” he asked, waiting for one of her famous retorts.

He wasn’t going to get one.  Not this time.  He looked too wholesome, but more than that, he didn’t deserve one for crashing her family Christmas.  “Seriously, what are you doing here?” she hissed as she stepped forward so she could get closer to him.  

“Better than spending Christmas alone,” he shrugged his shoulders, the playful grin still on his face.  

“I thought you were Skyping with your family,” she said, immediately regretting it.  She knew Skyping was nowhere near close to spending actual time, physically, with your family on one of the most important holidays of the year.

“I already did, while I was having breakfast and they were having lunch.  Six hour time difference,” he said.  

“Will, I’m serious, what are you—”

“I thought you’d need a friend here after everything that happened,” he said quickly, his tone serious.  His blue eyes looked into hers and every ounce of anger and shock in her dissipated.  “I figured you probably haven’t told your parents, and definitely not your brother, but I know you told Siena, and I just thought it would be nice for you to have a friendly face around beside your sister that…I don’t know…might make Christmas more fun.”

He knew her.  He knew he so well that she almost hated it, but mostly found it so admirable and so damn…cute.  He knew that she’d only tell Siena because Siena was the person she was the closest to in the world, and he knew she wouldn’t tell her parents because…well, because they didn’t need to know their daughter got sexually harassed at work.  She didn’t know what she was feeling right now.  “How do you even know where my parents live?”

That trademark grin came back.  “Don’t worry about it.”

“Aberdeen!  You didn’t tell me William Nylander was coming for Christmas!” Camden’s voice rang from behind her.  She turned around to see her brother with his arms crossed playfully around his chest.  “Would have been nice, you know.”

“I guess I forgot,” she said absent-mindedly.  She couldn’t believe this was happening right now.  She couldn’t believe William was at her house for Christmas; that he was going to be spending Christmas with her family because, well, it wasn’t like she could kick him out onto the street now.  

“Did you see I brought a dessert?” William said, his voice upbeat as he looked at Camden.  “I picked up some treats from a Swedish bakery in downtown Toronto.”

Camden’s eyes lit up at the words.  “Double dessert!” he screamed.  “Siena made a trifle!  You’ll like it.  It’s got strawberries in it.”

“Alright!  Everyone to the table!” Orla’s voice boomed throughout the house.  “Is the wine on the table?  Are there drinks?”

“Does everybody have a spot?” William whispered to Camden.

Camden nodded his head quickly before pushing William to the opposite side of the table.  “Mom sits at the head,” he pointed, “Siena sits there, dad sits there, I sit at the other head, and then Aberdeen sits here.”

“So I guess I’m sitting—”

“Right here,” Camden took out the chair for him.  

William took his seat.  Aberdeen slipped into her seat beside him, still staring at him like he wasn’t real.  Siena took her seat, then Mirza.  Camden last.  Then Orla brought in the roast, smelling absolutely delectable.  William’s eyes widened at how good it looked.  Everybody brought their plates forward and she put a few slices of the carved meat and gravy onto everyone’s plates – only then did the other dishes get passed around to fill up their plates: the Yorkshire puddings, the roasted potatoes, the Brussel sprouts, and the carrots.  

“Are you Catholic, William?” Orla asked as she sat down at her seat.  

“No ma’am.”

“Well, Christmas and Easter are the only two days of the year that we pray before our meal,” she informed him.  “So, congratulations.  Camden, why don’t you say a Hail Mary.”  William watched as everybody around the table except Mirza did the sign of the cross, though Mirza did bow his head in respect.  William quickly followed with his own sign of the cross.  He listened as Camden recited a Hail Mary.  When he was done, Orla spoke up again.  “Lord, we would like to thank you for bringing us together to celebrate your birth, and we would like to thank you for bringing us William today to celebrate with our family.  Amen.”

“Amen,” everyone said.

“Hallelujah!” Camden exclaimed, grabbing his fork.  Everyone else did too, while Mirza stood up to start pouring the wine in everyone’s glasses, save for Camden.  

“So you mentioned your family is in Sweden, William?” Orla asked, slicing her roast beef in pieces.  “Whereabouts?”

“Most of my family is there, right in Stockholm.  But I have a brother living in Chicago who also plays hockey.  My sister Jacqueline is also in Texas at SMU playing tennis, but she was able to get home for Christmas,” he explained.

“And where’s your brother in Chicago going?”

“He has a teammate and his family.  He lives in their basement,” William smiled. 

“Orla has a habit of wanting to feed the entire congregation, if you know what I mean,” Mirza smiled from across the table.  “Clearly Aberdeen knew, since she invited you.”

Aberdeen wanted to say that she didn’t, that he was hear because he somehow found their address and wanted to make her life a complete circus, but she decided against it.  It was Christmas, after all.  “Yeah, well when Aberdeen offered, I thought it was so nice, but I didn’t want to intrude,” William said from beside her.  She could have killed him right then and there.

“Intruding?  What are you intruding on?  The more the merrier.  And God knows I make enough roast,” Orla commented.  “Besides, it’s not the first time Aberdeen’s brought something home and said ‘Surprise!’.”

“We all love Minerva and she is a great cat,” Aberdeen said firmly before anyone else could say anything.  

Conversation flowed nicely.  William was a natural, Aberdeen thought, and she chalked it all up to his endearing charm – his best quality.  Well, at least to Aberdeen.  It was what attracted her to him in the first place.  That and the fact that he was so persistent.  But everybody seemed to take a liking to him, and despite being the only person at the table who knew what had happened between them, Siena was surprisingly calm, warm, and chatty.  Camden was an everyday 11 year old, asking William about the Leafs and if he’d met any Raptors and what playing hockey was like.  He made them smile.  He made them laugh.  He made them love him.  It was all so sickeningly sweet.

Camden cleared the dishes and Aberdeen cleared the food platters and Orla and Siena fetched the desserts. Mirza stayed to keep William company at the table.  Aberdeen watched as Orla scooped all the remaining leftovers into a Tupperware – Aberdeen knew she’d give it to William when he left, and now she was stuck thinking about how William was going to return one of her Tupperwares without anybody on the team or in the offices knowing.  It sent her head for a bit of a spin until Camden almost knocked her out with a swinging fridge door.  “Camden, get the dessert plates on the counter,” she ordered, and he did as he was told.  She got the trifle out of the fridge.

“Show him mine!  I was so much cuter!” she heard Camden exclaim from the dining room.  What was he on about now?

Aberdeen turned the corner.  And then she saw it.

William Nylander.  Sitting at the dining room table with her father.

Looking through her baby book.

Her heart dropped into the pit of her stomach.  “Dad!!!” she exclaimed.

William looked up at her, the biggest, goofiest, most sincere smile on his face.  “You were a cute baby, Aberdeen.”

She was mortified.  She thought about walking outside and freezing to death because that would be a better option than what was happening in front of her.  She set the trifle down on the table loudly, her jaw on the floor.  “Dad, come on!” she complained.  “I work with William!  He doesn’t have to see my baby pictures!”

“Well excuse me for wanting to show off my two darling daughters,” Mirza waved off her complaint.  “Besides, I can’t say no when a guest wants to see.”

Aberdeen glared at William, who still had that smile on his face.  “Oh, you’re gonna get it when we’re back at the arena.”

“Am I?” he taunted her.

“Look!  Look here!  Siena at four, Aberdeen at two,” Mirza diffused the situation, pointing to a new picture on the page.  “We sent copies of this one to Orla’s parents in Derry.  They had it up for years.”

Aberdeen knew exactly which picture Mirza was talking about.  She and her sister were photographed by a professional photographer, with Siena wearing a frilly yellow dress and Aberdeen wearing a pink one, equally as frilly.  They were both smiling at the camera while sitting on some sort of box, and both wearing small, dainty necklaces.  They were adorable, but William didn’t need to know that.  “These are evil eyes, right?” he said, pointing to the necklaces they were wearing in the photo, a small smile on his face.

“We say nazar.  It protects from the evil eye,” Mirza nodded his head.  “They’re very popular in Iran.”

“What made you come to Canada?” William asked.

“The revolution, mostly,” Mirza said.  “I was fourteen.  My parents didn’t want me to stay so they changed my name and I escaped the country.  It wasn’t safe for me anymore.  I went to Syria first – to Aleppo – and had all my documents processed there to become a refugee.  I came to Canada when I was eighteen in 1984.”

William was quiet and had a solemn look on his face as he listened to Mirza.  It was so unlike any other story he’d heard before, in terms of people’s parents at least.  He grew up with a lot of “My dad played in the NHL” or “My dad works in hockey” – never “My dad escaped a revolution”.  It was very new to him, and he almost felt ashamed at the lack of diverse stories his friends, acquaintances, and all the kids he grew up with had in comparison to this.  “And you chose Canada?”

“Canada chose me, I think,” Mirza smiled.  “Look at these pictures here,” he said, flipping to the back of the photo album.  When he reached the page, he showed William, and Aberdeen already knew what it was: the few pictures he had of himself growing up in Iran with his parents, some photos of him in Aleppo, and the first photos of him in Canada.  “That one was the year before I left Iran,” he said, pointing to one, “and this one…the month I arrived in Canada.”

William smiled.  He looked up at Aberdeen, who was already expecting his reaction.  “Sugo hat outfit,” he said, like it was a code language.  “Holy hell.  You weren’t kidding, Aberdeen.”

“Told you.”

“Sugo hat outfit?” Mirza asked.

“It’s nothing, dad.  William just has an interesting fashion sense.  Very European.”

Mirza shrugged, letting it go.  “Canada led me to Orla.  Led me to have this,” he motioned around at his house, “led me to my job, led me to be a father,” he nodded towards Aberdeen.  “Canada has been very nice to Orla and I, because even she had her troubles.  Literally.”

“Troubles?”

“Orla grew up in Belfast and Derry during the Troubles in Northern Ireland.  There was religious violence all around her growing up.  Catholics versus Protestants,” he explained.  “She came to Canada to escape it, too, in 1988.  And it brought us together.  We met in 1993 at our citizenship ceremony, married in 1995, and had Siena in 1996.”

William couldn’t help but smile.  Meeting your future spouse at your citizenship ceremony as you swore an oath as a new citizen of Canada?  “That’s the most Canadian thing I’ve ever heard,” he giggled.

“I know!” Mirza smiled along with him.  “Orla married the mailman – I mean literally married the mailman.  You should have heard all the jokes we got from her friends when she got pregnant with Siena.  They never ended.”

Dessert and most of the afternoon continued as thus: retelling old family stories and recounting family memories as everyone devoured both desserts, with William explaining each of the Swedish pastries he’d picked from the bakery.  They called their grandparents in Derry just as they were finishing, with William politely staying out of view, and then everybody relaxed around the house.  William promised Camden he’d teach him some stickhandling tricks with the old sticks they had somewhere in the garage, “once my food baby has passed.”  Mirza and Orla sat on the couch, watching the Christmas specials on TV.  Camden opened and started to organize the pieces of a Lego set he’d received as a Christmas gift on the dining room table.  Siena, Aberdeen, and William went down to the basement to “watch Netflix”.  They got through one episode of Brooklyn 9-9 before Siena told them to sneak back upstairs into hers and Aberdeen’s bedroom for some alone time.  Aberdeen tried to say no but William was already up.  When he winked at Siena as a thank you, Siena immediately understood what attracted Aberdeen to him in the first place.

When he walked inside Aberdeen’s room, he thought that it was everything yet nothing he imagined all at once.  A small twin bed, a stylish comforter, a view pictures of her with friends strung along draped string and a corkboard above her headboard.  “So this is your room?”

Aberdeen nodded.  “Well, used to be just Siena’s room.  Then when the little monster was born we moved in together.”

“You didn’t care?  Didn’t demand a room in the basement?”

Aberdeen shook her head.  “I told you how close Siena and I are.  I actually didn’t mind at all.”

He sat down on her bed, looking up at some of the pictures she’d hung.  He recognized Kasha in one of them, and what he assumed to be other university friends.  There was even a picture of the family together, for what looked like one of Camden’s birthdays.  “You have such a nice house…” he started, looking around some more.  “A nice, like, home.  It’s very homey and just, like, perfect.  And your family’s really…warm,” he said, choosing his words carefully.  “They remind me a lot of mine.  Close knit and stuff.  You’ve all got each other’s back.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, sitting down on her bed next to him.  “Does it…I mean, does it make you miss your family?”

“Tons,” he replied automatically.  “Especially on days like today.  But it’s okay.  I know this summer when we’re all together it’s gonna be a blast.”

“I know…” Aberdeen began.  “Listen, I know you don’t like to talk about your feelings much, but if you ever do want to talk when you’re really missing them…you know I’m here to listen, right?”

William looked at her and smiled.  God, he got so lucky.  “I know,” he said.  “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

He paused, staring into her eyes before knowing he had to continue.  “Listen…I got you something,” he said.

“You what?” Aberdeen was flabbergasted.  As if enough didn’t already happen today.  He saw her baby photos for God’s sake.

“I couldn’t help myself.”

“I really think you could.”

He sighed and smiled, reaching into a bag Aberdeen hadn’t noticed was there and pulling out a wrapped box, a ribbon tied around it perfectly.  She had a hard time believing he wrapped it himself, but then again, he had a lot of siblings.  That was his excuse for knowing how to do a bunch of things that he had no other logical explanation as to why he knew how to do it.  “Merry Christmas, minskatt,” he said.

“I don’t have anything for you,” she blurted out, immediately regretting it.  

“I don’t need anything.  It’s fine,” he shook his head, pushing the box onto her lap.  “Open it.”

It was small.  Too small for her liking.  She gave him one last look before sliding the ribbon off and ripping the paper.  The box was neutral, which made her even more nervous.  She opened the lid.

Inside, she was met with a ring.  An evil eye ring made of yellow gold, with the centre of the eye bedazzled with a black diamond, circled by two bands of rich blue diamonds, and finished off with regular diamonds outlining and filling out the rest of the eye shape.  Her breath hitched in her throat audibly as she stared at it and took in its beauty.  She couldn’t believe William got this for her.  She couldn’t believe he…he…

“I hope you like it,” she heard William’s voice say softly.  “I know rings are…well, whatever, but…I saw it and I thought of you.  It…it went beyond when you told me your dad was Persian.  The blue…it sounds stupid, but the blue reminded me of your tattoo.  The waves.  Like now whenever I see anything blue I think of you and your tattoo and the waves and stuff, and…and—” he was rambling, and he knew it, but he couldn’t stop, “—and I just figured, I don’t know, you always wear nice jewelry, nice rings, and this can be part of it.  And it’ll protect you, according to tradition or whatever.  And maybe, I don’t know, every time you look down at your hand and see the ring, you’ll be reminded of me.”

Aberdeen took every word to heart.  She’d been looking at him the entire time, and her heart was so full by the end of his rambling that she couldn’t think straight; she couldn’t think of what to say, how to say it, how to thank him, how to truly express how much she loved it, so she did the only thing she could think to do.  The only thing she couldn’t do.

She kissed him.

It was slow at first, and it took William aback – never in a million years did he think Aberdeen would initiate any kiss, let alone a kiss on her bed while they were alone in her bedroom after he’d crashed her family’s Christmas celebrations – but eventually, and gradually, the kiss deepened and became more passionate, with William’s hand going lightly to her hip, and Aberdeen’s hand resting gently on his thigh.  They stayed like that for a while, just kissing on her bed, William absolutely basking in the feeling, as if a thousand lightning bolts were moving through his body all at once, having waited for months – six months – to feel his lips against hers again.  It intoxicated him as much now as it did that night in June so long ago; perhaps even more so now, now that he knew what her lips felt like but was denied for so long, only to be given the luxury again.  He was drunk on the feeling.  

It was only until William couldn’t help himself, when Aberdeen felt a slip of his tongue against her lips, that she was brought back down to earth, only for her to pull away quickly.  “Oh God,” she worried.  “I wasn’t supposed to do that.”

William half smiled as he bit down on his bottom lip.  “It’s not like I’m gonna tell anybody.”

She felt William’s hand on her hip move to hold her hand that was resting on his thigh.  He held it so warmly, still looking at her, and rubbed circles onto her hand.  His touch was so delicate, so tender.  So unlike other touches she’d experienced, other touches she never wanted to experience again.  “Will?”

“Hmm?” he licked his lips.

She finally met his eye.  “I…I never thanked you for going to Brendan about…you know…” she trailed off.  

His face shifted.  “Aberdeen—”

“No – please,” she interrupted him, looking down nervously at their fingers that had now entangled with each other’s on his lap.  She didn’t know why she couldn’t look him in the eye.  She’d just kissed him, for God’s sake.  “I never thanked you.  Or Pierre for that matter.  If you guys hadn’t gone to Brendan, I’d still have to be dealing with him, and…and I just…”

“Aberdeen, you don’t need to thank me for doing the right thing.  Anybody would have done the same thing,” William said.  “Believe me.  Any one of those guys in the locker room would have done the same thing.  Pierre and I actually made the decision to wait until after the holidays to tell everyone what happened so they wouldn’t get upset before Christmas.”

Aberdeen furrowed her brows.  “Why?  They…they’d get upset?”

“Are you kidding me?  Of course they’d get upset,” William said.  “Jason would have gone insane if he knew.  The guy has four girls.  Auston, Morgan, Kappy – everyone thinks you’re a bit of nerd or whatever, but they’d all go to bat for you.  And everyone’s gonna be really upset when they hear about it.  Actually, they’ll probably get mad at me for not telling them so they couldn’t whoop Ethan’s ass themselves.”

Aberdeen never considered that.  She knew the guys liked her well enough, but she never considered that they liked her enough that they’d be upset something like that happened to her.  She never considered that they’d be protective of her in that way.  For all that she was Brendan Shanahan’s executive assistant and on the administrative side of things, she never felt part of the team more than she did in this moment, in her room alone with William Nylander.  

“Can you…can you tell me something?” William asked as he watched her think.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me…you know, what Ethan was doing?”

There was the million dollar question.  Aberdeen didn’t want to admit why.  She didn’t want to admit to William that the reason she didn’t tell him was because she didn’t want him to know, didn’t want him to get involved, didn’t want to endanger his position in any way with the team by him speaking up on her behalf.  She didn’t want to tell him it was because she didn’t think it was worth it.  But she knew she had too.  She took a deep breath and shrugged her shoulders.  “I didn’t think you cared that much,” she admitted softly.  “I didn’t think that it was…you know…worth caring about, even.”

It was William’s turn to furrow his brows.  He looked pained, physically pained, at the words that had just escaped her mouth.  “You’re always worth caring about, minskatt,” he said firmly, with no space to debate his tone or words.  “You’re always…fuck, Aberdeen, you’re always fucking worth it to me.”

She couldn’t believe the words that were coming out of his mouth; couldn’t believe how much conviction was in his voice and how much he meant each and every word.  Nobody had said those words to her before.  Well – no guy had said those words to her before.  She remembered Zane and how he refused to acknowledge how she wanted to become a writer.  She remembered how, a second after she told him, William said she’d make a great writer even though he’d never read any of her work.  To William, she was worth it; in every sense of the word, she was worth it.  She was worth late night walks back to her apartment.  She was worth sneaking into hotel rooms at night.  She was worth calls to Sugo and paying extra to get dinner long after they closed down.  She was worth sneaking around to get her phone number, and her parents’ address to show up for Christmas.  She was worth spending whatever amount of money on a ring that reminded him of her.  She was worth it.  She was worth it all.  

She moved closer to him again.

Closer.

And closer.

And…

“Aberdeen!” she heard Camden scream her voice down the hallway.  So he apparently knew they were in her room.  She and William moved at lightning speed not to be so close to each other.  She shoved the box into her bedside table.  Camden’s loud footsteps echoed down the hallway until they stopped outside her door.  

Camden at least had the knowledge to knock.  She’d yelled at him one too many times for him to forget.  “Come in,” she said, her voice still a bit shaky from what had almost just happened.  

He opened the door and stuck his head through.  “William promised he’d play some hockey with me in the driveway before he left,” he said.  

“William and I are talking right now,” she said quickly, trying to get him to go away.

“About what?”

“About work stuff.”

“What’s happening at work?”

“Camden.”

“Is Mitch Marner okay?”

“Can you give us maybe, like, five or ten minutes to solve this problem?” William asked.  “I’ll meet you in the driveway after that.  Practice your stickhandling so I can show you what to improve on.”

Camden nodded his head quickly and closed the door behind him as he rushed back down the hallway, yelling at his dad to open the garage and get his hockey stick.  William looked at Aberdeen and laughed as she let out a breath in one long sigh, giggling to herself before shaking her head.  “God…what am I doing?” she mumbled to herself.

“Realizing you’re worth it,” William said quickly, inching closer to her and kissing her again.  It was nice, and it was innocent, and it was beautiful, and it was lovely, but it was also wrong.  Aberdeen pulled back quicker than last time, but William didn’t seem to mind.  He knew this kiss was gratuitous – an extra gift.  “I can’t wait to see you on the plane to New Jersey wearing that ring,” he mumbled, grabbing her hand and holding it in his.

She stiffened for a second.  “I can’t wear that to work.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s from you.  Everyone’s gonna ask about it.”

“Have any of the guys, including Brendan, ever asked about any piece of jewelry you’ve worn before?” he deadpanned.  Okay, so he had a point.  “Besides, just tell them it was a Christmas gift from your parents.”

She shook her head.  “You underestimate how good of a liar I am.”

“You spent six months lying trying to convince yourself you didn’t like me.”

She blushed.  Okay, so he had another point.  “Touché, Will.”

He licked his lips, biting down on the bottom one gently.  “Why’re you so scared?”

“I’m not scared,” Aberdeen answered.  “I’m just aware of how inappropriate this is and how much I’m starting not to care anymore.”

William smiled.  And he leaned in again.  But before he could kiss her again – helping as best he could to get her to not care anymore – Camden’s voice boomed through the house again.  “Aberdeeeeen!”

She practically growled at another moment ruined.  “Camden!” she screamed out.

This time, he didn’t bother to knock when he opened the bedroom door.  He poked his head through again.  “Do you know someone who drives a black Porsche Cayenne?”

Aberdeen furrowed her brows.  As if she knew more than one person who drove a car that expensive.  “My boss does…” she said.

“Well, it’s in the driveway.”

Aberdeen’s eyes bulged out of her head.  She shot up from her seat and grabbed William and dragged him towards her closet.  “Is that—” he tried to ask.

“Quiet.”

“Is that Brendan?” he asked as she practically tore her closet door off her hinges to open it.  “What’s he doing here?”

“I don’t fucking know!” she exclaimed in one of those loud, frantic whispers.  “Do you honestly think if I knew he was coming sometime today I would have let you stay in my house this long?  Now shut up.”

“Aber—oooooowwwwww!” he protested as she grabbed the top of his head and pushed him down and into her closet like he was getting into the back of a cop car.  He belonged in a cop car, Aberdeen thought, for showing up at her house on Christmas.  “Aberdeen!”

“Shut up!” she said hurriedly, putting her hand over his mouth.  “If you value your life as well as mine you will stay in here and stay quiet until I come get you,” she warned, closing the closet door in his face.

“Who’s that now?” Orla asked as Aberdeen hurried to the front of the house, where she saw her mother looking out the window.  “We don’t know people who drive Porsches.”

“It’s for me.  It’s my boss.  Brendan Shanahan.  The president of the Toronto Maple Leafs,” Aberdeen informed everyone.  She saw Siena send a panicked look her way.

“Oh, did you invite him to Christmas too now and he just came late?” Orla joked.

“Is he here to see William?” Camden asked.

Aberdeen took a deep breath.  She felt like her heart was going to explode in her chest.  “Everybody listen,” she said loudly.  “Brendan cannot know William was here…is here.”

“Why can’t Brendan know about W—”

“I’ll lose my job, okay?” she said quickly.  Her parents’ eyes widened.  “Brendan doesn’t like the players, uh…he doesn’t…just please, please don’t ask me to explain.  Just take my word for it.  Just don’t mention anything and…please be normal.”  She knew Siena already knew.  And she knew her parents were good for it – though she’d have to explain to them in more detail later.  It was Camden she was worried about.  She looked down at him.  “You say a word about William being here and I take that Kyle Lowry jersey back and tell everyone at your school that you still sleep with Bubby.”

Bubby was the stuffed giraffe Camden got as a kid.  He slept with it religiously when he was small, but he didn’t still sleep with it, though it stayed perched on his shelf.  Camden grimaced but understood the ultimatum his sister was giving him – no kid would ever recover from that rumour being spread.  “Fine.”

Their doorbell rang.  Mirza moved to open the door.  He couldn’t even see Brendan’s face – it was obstructed by a giant basket.  “Oh my goodness!” he exclaimed, noticing it was teetering a bit.  “Let me help, let me help!” he said, taking some of the weight of the basket.  “Come in!  Come in!” he moved backwards, and the two men balanced the basket on the half-wall that separated the entrance from the front family room.  

Aberdeen felt like she was going to faint.  Brendan Shanahan was now in her front entrance while William Nylander was stuffed in her bedroom closet.  “You must be Mr. Bloom,” Brendan said, extending his hand to shake.  “And Mrs. Bloom,” he said once he noticed Orla, shaking her hand too.  “I’m Brendan Shanahan – I’m Aberdeen’s boss.”

“It’s so nice to finally meet you, Brendan,” Orla smiled.  “Aberdeen speaks so highly of you.”

He waved and smiled at Aberdeen.  Then he noticed Siena and Camden.  “You must be Siena,” he smiled at her, “and Camden.”  Camden nodded enthusiastically and silently.  “I don’t mean to intrude on your Christmas,” Brendan held up his hands slightly.  “I just – well, my family and I are on our way to my mother’s house in Mimico.  I’m an Etobicoke boy too, you see.  And when Aberdeen told me her mother was another Belfast lass, well, I had to see for myself.”

Orla giggled.  Mirza had a smile on his face.  “Irish too, then?  Well, with a name like Shanahan, how could you not be?” Orla quipped.  

“I don’t mean to stay long – we’re already late as is – but I just wanted to pass this gift along as a token of my thanks and gratitude,” he said, motioning to the giant wrapped basket.   It had an assortment of things in it that Aberdeen couldn’t make out because she was scared William was going to scream out from the closet or walk around the corner any second and then she’d be out of a job.  She knew Camden would take it all apart the second Brendan left, anyway.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that, Mr. Shanahan—” Orla said.

“No no, I insist.  It’s the least I could do,” he said.  “I’m sorry for taking your daughter away from you so much and having her travel to every corner of this continent.  I know it must be hard on you as parents.”

“It is,” Mirza said, “but she enjoys her job very much.  She’s always letting us know about the cool things she’s doing or the cities she’s going to.  She feels very fortunate to be in the position she’s in.”

“We’re very lucky to have her as a member of the Toronto Maple Leafs team,” Brendan smiled warmly.  “Anyways, I’m so sorry for taking up your time,” he turned to leave.

“Don’t be sorry at all, Mr. Shanahan.  This is a very lovely gift, thank you.”

As he stepped through the threshold of the doorway, he turned back.  “If I want to drop by St. Leo and bring some of the boys, am I calling you?” he asked Orla.

“You bet your arse you are, because you’re not going to anyone else’s class but mine.”

Brendan smiled.  “I’ll call you to arrange something, then.  Have a very Merry Christmas.”

When the door closed, Aberdeen let out a sigh of relief.  “Was that harmless enough, Aberdeen?  Was it to your liking?” Orla asked sarcastically.

“Don’t.”

“Camden, go fetch mummy a card from the drawer in the kitchen so we can write a thank you note to Mr. Shanahan for this enormous basket full of…full of…” she stopped, eyeing the contents.  Suddenly, she jumped up.  “Oh Lord!  Oh heavens it’s a basket of Irish and British goodies!  And sweets!  Oh, bless that man!  Bless that man!”

Aberdeen didn’t care about sweets.  She thought about William in her closet and rushed towards her room.  She closed the door to her room behind her and opened the closet door to see him holding up her high school kilt, like he was examining it.  “What the fuck are you doing with that?”

He smirked at her.  “Can you wear this for me sometime?”

“Get out of there!” she ordered, snatching her kilt away from his hands as he giggled like the schoolgirl she once was.  She hung it back up in the back of her closet.  “You’re a perv.”

“Only for you,” he continued to giggle.

***

William held on to the Tupperware Orla had given him full of leftovers as he and Aberdeen stood on her front porch.  Aberdeen made sure not to get too close; partly because she had a feeling that at least one member of her family was spying through a window, but also, because if she got close to him, she didn’t know what she’d do.  

William had charmed her entire family.  Her mother invited him back for Easter.  Camden thought he was the coolest guy around.  Siena understood now why Aberdeen was so drawn to him.  And Mirza – well, Mirza just liked him.  Thought he was a good kid.  And he was a good kid.  Despite his upbringing and despite his job being one of the stars of the Leafs, he was just a humble, polite, guy when he came over – just a guy from Sweden who worked with Aberdeen.  Aberdeen thought that maybe that’s all he wanted to be when he was around her – just a guy from Sweden.  Not William Nylander, hockey star.  He certainly showed that he liked and preferred it that way.

“You’re coming to Jersey, right?” he asked.  She nodded her head.  “What about New Years?”

“I’ll be there,” she nodded again.  “Kinda sucks that we won’t get to spend it here, though.  I think this is the first New Year’s I’ll spend outside of Toronto.”

“Well it has to be extra special, then,” he smiled.  

Aberdeen bit her lip.  She didn’t know what that meant.  A part of her didn’t want to know while another part of her did.  “Will…” she began.

“Minskatt?”

“Why didn’t you ever move on from me?”

William was taken aback by the question.  The notion was absurd to him.  “Why would I ever want to do that?”

Aberdeen couldn’t believe his answer.  Was there really nobody else for him?  Nobody in Sweden that summer he could have had fun with?  Nobody in Toronto he could call?  She didn’t know why he insisted on his life revolving around just her when she’d barely given him anything the past six months, three of which were spent in two separate continents.  Was he insane?  Was she?

A car pulled up in front of the house, and Aberdeen knew it was his Uber.  He glanced at it before taking one last look at her.  “Have a good night, Aberdeen.  I’ll see you Thursday morning.”

She watched him get into the car, watched it pull out of the driveway and drive down the street.  When she opened the door and stepped back into her house, she saw Siena waiting for her.  “You’re fucked,” was all she said.

Aberdeen nodded.  If other people could see it, then she needed to start accepting it.  “I know.”

[drusb]

MJ Meets Some New People

(MJ created by @sleepy-heads-blog)

It's a surprisingly boring day in the Dog-Lagomorph household. Sam and Max were relaxing in the backyard, Geek was in the basement tinkering with her inventions, and MJ was watching Jurassic Park with John.

John: You see this part here MJ? This is the best part of the movie, right here.

MJ: What's to see? They're just broken down by a fence.

John: Watch closely, you'll see it.

The movie proceeds to show a T-Rex coming out and wrecking everything.

MJ: Wow! Cool!

John: Told you that you'd like it.

Just then, the doorbell rang.

MJ: I'll go get it!

MJ rushed over to the door, and opened it to see an anthropomorphic raptor standing in front of him.

???: Hey kid, does a couple called Sam and Max live here?

MJ: Uuh yeah? Who even are you?

???: Oh, I worked with them a few years ago. Me and my boyfriend are on vacation here in New York, so we thought we might pop by for a visit.

MJ: I can go get them for you.

MJ: DAD, POP? THERE'S SOMEONE HERE FOR YOU!

Sam: We heard you MJ! Now who's here for us?

Max: If it's Lorne again, I've got to show him the business end of my new Tommy Gun!

The two look over at the raptor in front of them, and recognize who they are.

Sam: Rookie!

Max: Lumpy!

Sam: How've you been? We haven't heard much from you since you moved to the west coast!

MJ then realized who the person in front of him was. He remembered his fathers talking about some cases they did a few years ago with a rookie.

MJ; You must be Lumpy! My dads have told me a lot about you!

???: Yep, the name's Vel. Nice to meet you!

Vel offered out his hand for a handshake. MJ took it.

MJ: My name's MJ, I'm their kid.

Sam: So kid, what are you doing here?

Vel: Well, me and my boyfriend were in the area, so we thought we might visit you guys.

Max: You? Boyfriend?

Sam: Quiet bonehead. So who's your boyfriend?

Vel: Well, he's kind of I guess, unusual to say the least... Oh! There he is!

Just as he finished saying that, an anthropomorphic body of purple fire comes out of nowhere.

???: Hey Vel, there you are.

Vel: This is my boyfriend, Orryx... He's an elder god.

Orryx: Nice to meet you.

Max; Pretty normal.

Vel: Figured you would have had a bigger reaction.

Sam: Eh, it's pretty normal to us, I mean Max's brother is married to an elder god!

Orryx: That wouldn't happen to be Nyarlethotep would it?

Max: Yep!

Vel: Well, it was nice seeing you guys. Nice meeting you MJ!

MJ: Where are you going?

Vel: We're gonna go do some free running around New York.

MJ: Really! I love free running! Can I join you guys?

Vel: Sure thing little guy! You two okay with that?

Sam: Yeah, sure.

Max: If he dies, you're both getting bullets through your skulls.

MJ: Yay! I'll go get changed, okay?

MJ gets changed, and heads out with Vel and Orryx, prepared for a day of fun.